


XCW: Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling

by Ivan_Drago



Category: Fiction Wrestling - Fandom
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 52
Words: 599,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1964346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivan_Drago/pseuds/Ivan_Drago
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new breed of animated wrestling enters the competition. Featuring characters from both cartoons and video games, as well as a variety of fight styles from mat-based to hardcore, there's no doubt that animated wrestling just got taken to the extreme!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. XCW Massacre: January Week 1

Hope you all enjoy, and if there's anything I need to improve on, feel free to let me know in the reviews.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

"Welcome to the first episode of XCW Massacre! 4000 strong are on their feet for the ascendance of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling! We are live in Brooklyn, New York, the birthplace of American animation, where champions will be crowned, blood will be shed, and history will be made here tonight! Hello again everybody I'm Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight Shake, we've got ourselves a hell of a night tonight!"

"You got that right!" Shake exclaimed. "5 titles: the Television, Women's, Hardcore, Tag Team, and our most coveted prize of all: the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, will all be awarded in matches of various types, right here tonight! I cannot wait for it to start!"

A mic lowered from the ceiling to just above the ring, as Plankton stood in the middle of it.

"Wait no longer Shake," Early said, "because business is about to pick up!"

"The following contest is a 4-Way Ladder Match for the vacant Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Championship!"

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played as Tai Kamiya ran onto the stage raising his hand in salute to the crowd, who cheered him on!

"Introducing first, from Tokyo, Japan. . .Tai Kamiya!"

"Tai Kamiya, coming from the first two seasons of Digimon Adventure!" Early said, informing the audience.

"Digimon?" Shake asked. "What is this, 1999?"

"Whatever year it is, Tai came to XCW with his wife, Sora Takenouchi. And with wins in their respective matches tonight, they both could not only make history here tonight, but also establish themselves as XCW's power couple!" Early said.

"Tank!" by The Seatbelts played as Spike Spiegel walked down the ramp with a cigarette in his mouth to cheers from the crowd.

"From Planet Mars. . .Spike Spiegel!"

"Okay, whoever our chairman is, he really needs to get with the times." Shake said.

"What do you mean?" Early asked.

"He obviously found these guys from whatever deli they worked at. When was the last time Tai and Spike's shows were on TV?" Shake asked.

"Our chairman saw something he liked in these men, Shake. That's all I can tell you." said Early.

Booker T's WWE Theme played as Arthur walked onto the stage to boos from the crowd.

"Here we go!" Shake exclaimed.

"From Elwood City. . .ARTHUR!"

"Now THIS is a head-scratcher." Early said.

Arthur posed and strode down the ramp as pyro and flames erupted from the stage.

"No it's not!" Shake protested. "Our anonymous chairman wants to prove that a character from a children's show can compete with those from violent video games and seizure-inducing animes. And I think we'll see that tonight out of Arthur!"

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off in unison to each of the first notes of the song, as Luigi walked onto the stage and down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

"And from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .LUIGI!"

"Now this man here is the definition of irrelevant." Early said.

"Are you kidding me?" Shake exclaimed in disbelief. "This man is the brother of Mario, the video game icon!"

"Exactly. He's played second fiddle to Mario for almost 30 years." Early informed. "Now if he can be the first to climb a ladder and retrieve the Television title hanging 20 feet above the ring, he'll at least be the first of the Mario Brothers to win a title in XCW."

Luigi entered the ring above the second rope and looked around at Spike, Tai and Arthur in the center of the ring, as they all did the same.

Once the bell ran, Tai and Luigi brawled in a corner of the ring while Arthur and Spike brawled in the opposite corner. Tai countered a punch from Luigi and tied him up in a waistlock, but Luigi elbowed out of it and Irish whipped Tai, only for Tai to nail Luigi with a jumping crossbody on the bounceback!

Spike went to punch Arthur but Arthur blocked it and poked Spike in the eye, then hit Spike with a back drop. Arthur rolled out of the ring to grab a ladder, then went back into the ring and started to set up the ladder in the middle of the ring until Spike hit him with a clothesline. Spike climbed up the ladder but so did Luigi. Before he could even get to the second step, though, Tai grabbed Luigi and nailed him with a German suplex! Tai then climbed up the ladder and met Spike, who reached for the title. Tai hit Spike with a right hand, and they exchanged punches while Arthur set up a ladder of his own, and began to climb it, with Luigi climbing it on the other side!

"All four of these men are 20 feet high above the ring!" Early exclaimed. "Who's gonna be the Television Champion?"

"A better question is, who's gonna fall down first?" Shake asked.

Tai nailed Arthur with an uppercut then slammed his face onto the top step of the ladder. Tai reached for the belt but Arthur threw him off the ladder, and into the ladder Luigi and Spike were on, sending them crashing to the concrete floor below! Arthur reached for the belt but Tai knocked Arthur's ladder down, sending him to the concrete on the other side of the ring! Tai folded up one of the ladders resting on the ropes. Tai then ran up that ladder and jumped off it, hitting a Tai Dive (Diving Headbutt) onto Luigi and Spike!

Arthur slid back into the ring and set up a ladder. He started to climb up it but Tai got back into the ring. He climbed up right behind Arthur, and pulled him off the ladder. Tai and Arthur tied up into a grapple, then Tai put Arthur into a headlock and nailed him with a jawbreaker. Tai then folded up the ladder in the center of the ring and leaned it in the corner of the ring. Meanwhile, Spike grabbed another ladder out from under the ring and went back in it. Spike hit Tai in the ribs with the ladder and then hit Arthur in the head with it before setting it up in the center of the ring. Luigi jumped onto the top rope from the ring apron and hit Spike with a flying forearm, knocking him off the ladder! Luigi quickly got up and climbed up one side of the ladder.

Tai stepped to the other side of the ladder and slowly climbed to the top of it, meeting Luigi at the top. They exchanged punches, but Luigi landed one right in Tai's face, and he faltered a bit to regain his composure. Arthur climbed up Luigi's side of the ladder and pulled Luigi off it, sending him down to the mat below! Arthur climbed up the ladder only for Spike to kick it down and send Arthur falling face-first into the turnbuckle, and Tai back-first onto the ladder he set up in the corner! Spike charged at Arthur and hit him with a running clothesline. Spike then picked Arthur up and hit him with a powerbomb on the ladder Spike knocked down!

"Oh my God!" Shake cried.

"Oh my God is right, Shake." Early said. "Arthur must be in excruciating pain!"

Shake shook his head. "No, I just realized I forgot to DVR Whitney!"

Early narrowed his eyes at his broadcast partner while Luigi slid out of the ring and grabbed a 20-foot ladder from under it. He headed back into the ring and set it up in the center of the ring. Luigi started to climb it but Arthur pulled him off again. Luigi went for a DDT on Arthur but he countered it into an Irish whip and nailed a powerslam on Luigi! Meanwhile, Spike pulled Tai off the ladder in the corner and set it up next to the 20-foot ladder Luigi set up. Both Luigi and Spike began to climb their ladders when Tai and Arthur grabbed a hold of the Luigi's ladder. Luigi grabbed onto the Television title belt but hanged on for dear life as Tai and Arthur pulled the ladder out from under him. Spike reached the top of his ladder and from it nailed Luigi in the face with Real Folk Blues (Sweet Chin Music), sending Luigi crashing down to the mat! "This is awesome!" chants filled the arena.

Spike tried to reach for the belt from his ladder but couldn't. He climbed down the ladder and moved it while Tai and Arthur got into a fight holding the ladder which soon turned into a tie-up. Arthur held Tai in a waist lock but Tai fought out of it and put Arthur into a waist-lock of his own, then hit Arthur with three German suplexes, the last of which sent Arthur crashing onto the ladder under him! Tai ran up Spike's ladder and they brawled high above the ring, the Television championship just inches away. . .until Tai jumped over the top of the ladder and hit Spike with a Frankensteiner!

"My GOD!" Early screamed. "What will these four men do to themselves for the Television championship?"

Tai and Arthur were the first to get up, albeit slowly. They both climbed up the ladder, with Arthur selling his lower back, and Tai selling his abdomen. Arthur beat Tai to the top, only for Tai to grab Arthur by his foot and get it caught in the ladder! Tai climbed up to the top and grabbed the belt off the hook! The bell rang as Tai raised the belt up above his body.

Plankton: Here is your winner, and the FIRST Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .TAI KAMIYA!

"What a start to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, and what an effort by these four men!" Early said. "Putting their bodies on the line to be crowned our first Television champion!"

"Great match!" Shake said. "What else is gonna happen tonight?"

Meanwhile, in a hallway, Squidward Tentacles stood with a microphone.

"Please welcome one of the participants in the Fatal 4-Way match for the vacant XCW World Heavyweight Championship, along with his manager, Jon Arbuckle. . .Garfield!"

The crowd booed as Garfield and Jon Arbuckle came to stand next to Squidward.

"Garfield," asked Squidward, "with 3 other men in the Fatal Four Way match tonight, your chances to win are only 25%. However, do you think that matters, considering you are the biggest man in the match?"

Garfield looked down at Squidward with a sneer.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jon interrogated.

"Nothing! I-" Squidward protested until Jon interrupted him.

"Garfield may be large. . ." Jon said, ". . .but with size comes power. And with power. . .comes domination and supremacy. It doesn't matter if he faces one man, two men, or three men, Garfield IS the best wrestler in XCW, and he will prove it by mauling Mario, by breaking Bugs' neck, and hammering Hotsuma over and over again into a bloody pulp, and becoming the first ever XCW World Heavyweight Champion! And that's nothing but bad news for everyone. . .except me. . .and him."

Jon pointed up at Garfield, who shoved Squidward out of his way.

"The following contest is a Hardcore Battle Royal for the XCW Hardcore Championship! In this contest, once a wrestler scores a pinfall, that wrestler will be the unofficial Hardcore Champion. From there, the championship can change hands multiple times within the match's 10 minute time limit! Whoever is the unofficial champion once the timer reaches zero will be declared the official first Hardcore Champion! Introducing the participants. . ."

The first 9 men walked down the ramp with various weapons in hand.

"From The Earthrealm. . .Sub-Zero and Scorpion!"

Scorpion walked to the ring with a chain in his hand, while Sub-Zero carried a steel chair, to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

"From Gunsmoke. . .Vash The Stampede!"

Vash carried a tire iron to the ring to cheers.

"From Feudal Japan. . .Samurai Jack!"

Samurai Jack carried a kendo stick over his shoulder as the crowd cheered.

"From Parts Unknown. . .Sweet Tooth!"

As the crowd booed, Sweet Tooth wheeled a shopping cart full of assorted weapons down the ramp towards the ring. Once he got to the ring, he threw every street sign, trash can, barbed wire 2x4, and crowbar into the ring until the cart was empty.

"From The Kongo Jungle. . .Donkey Kong!"

Donkey Kong walked down the ramp carrying a barrel to boos from the crowd.

"From The Mushroom Kingdom. . .Bowser!"

As the crowd booed, Bowser stomped to the ring with a pair of spiked knuckles on his hand.

"From Japan. . .Lupin III!"

Lupin III carried a lead pipe down the ramp into the ring as the crowd cheered again.

"And from Peach Creek. . .Jimmy!"

Jimmy waved a colorful flag down the ramp as he pranced into the ring to boos from the crowd.

"Uhhh. . .I think this guy's in the wrong match." Early said.

"Yeah, this is for the Hardcore title, not the Lightweight title." Shake said.

"Who in their right mind would put this kid Jimmy in a match with sinister men like Sweet Tooth, deadly men like Scorpion and Sub-Zero, and mastodons like Donkey Kong and Bowser?" Early wondered.

"Well, Jimmy, it was nice knowing ya." Shake said.

The crowd erupted into chers as "Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played. Tommy Vercetti rode down the ramp on a motorcycle.

"From Vice City, Florida. . .Tommy Vercetti!"

Tommy got off the bike and slid into the ring.

"Tommy doesn't have any weapons?" Shake asked in surprise.

"The man's from Vice City." Early said. "With fists like his, he doesn't need weapons."

"Amerika" by Rammstein played as Solid Snake walks down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd. Snake carried a kendo stick in one hand, and a tire iron in his pants pocket.

"From The United States of America. . .Solid Snake!"

Snake entered the ring and looked around at the competition.

Pyro went off as "No Mercy" by Pharoahe Monch played. Claude Speed (from Grand Theft Auto III) walked down the ramp with a 2x4 to cheers from the crowd.

"And from Liberty City, USA. . .Claude Speed!"

"The Lucifer of Liberty City is making his way to the ring now." Shake said. "He goes from terrorizing Liberty City to terrorizing XCW!"

"We'll see about that, Shake." Early said. "Because here in this match we'll see men beat the snot out of each other to become the first ever Hardcore Champion. In this match there is no disqualification, no holds barred and falls count anywhere in the building. From the looks of each man in this match, Shake, who knows what could happen here!"

The bell rang and various brawls spilled out of the ring, with Sub-Zero, Scorpion and Jimmy fighting Bowser until he shoved all three out of the ring. Donkey Kong and Sweet Tooth exchanged blows with respectively a street sign and cookie sheet outside of the ring, while in a corner of the ring, Samurai Jack tied up Lupin III with a waistlock right above Donkey Kong's barrel, until Lupin grabbed a hold of Samurai Jack's arm and Irish whipped him out. Claude Speed hit Vash with a fury of right hands until he was against the ring ropes, then Claude clotheslined him out of the ring. Claude picked up Vash's tire iron and met Vash outside the ring. Only Solid Snake and Tommy Vercetti remained in the ring, exchanging punches.

They brawled until Tommy nailed a punch square in the jaw of Snake. Tommy let out a brief "Wooo!" to the crowd only for Snake to nail him in the head with a kendo stick, knocking Tommy down and busting him open! Snake went for the cover-1. . .2. . .3!

"Here is your Unofficial FIRST Hardcore Champion – SOLID SNAKE!"

Snake raised his hands in victory for a brief second but went outside the ring with his kendo stick and nailed fighter after fighter that charged at him. Tommy got up from the hit and wiped his hand on his face, staring at the blood on his hand.

"My God, Shake!" Early cried. "Tommy's bleeding like a stuck pig!"

"That's what you get for bringing fists to a sword fight. . .er, a kendo stick fight." Shake responded.

Tommy got up, seething with anger. He ran toward the crowd outside the ring and jumped through the ropes, tackling Snake and Lupin down to the mat! Tommy went for the cover – 1. . .2. . .Vash broke up the count! Vash picked Tommy up and went to nail him with a fistful of brass knuckles but Tommy ducked and hit Vash with a standing spinebuster. Tommy turned around looking at Snake again but Snake nailed him with a trash can lid. Snake turned around and Bowser nailed him in the face with a fistful of spiked knuckles! Snake bled profusely from his face as Bowser stepped on Snake for the cover – 1. . .2. . .3!

"Here is your new Hardcore Champion. . .BOWSER!"

Bowser roared in victory then picked both Tommy and Snake up and bashed their heads together! Donkey Kong tried to hit Bowser with a street sign but Bowser hit it with the fist of spiked knuckles, creating holes in the sign! Donkey Kong went to punch Bowser but he blocked it and hit him with a left hand. At this point 8 ½ minutes remained in the match.

Meanwhile, after blocking a tire iron hit from Vash, Claude nailed Vash in the face with his 2x4! Afterwards Claude checked on Tommy, who woke up in a furious daze. He hit Claude with a Lou Thesz Press and nailed him in the face with punches that are so fast and furious, they busted Claude open!

"My God! Tommy's taking out his ally!" Early yelled. "Does he know where he is right now?"

"There are no allies in this match, Early! It's every man for himself!" Shake informed.

Tommy ran over to the crowd of wrestlers trying to attack Bowser to no avail. Sweet Tooth and Donkey Kong picked up opposing sides of Tommy's motorcycle and used it as a battering ram to knock Bowser down! Sweet Tooth and Donkey Kong went to cover Bowser only for Tommy to take Sweet Tooth out with a chop block, and then get into a fist fight with Donkey Kong, with everyone completely unaware that Jimmy has Bowser covered! 1. . .2. . .3!

"Here is your new Hardcore Champion. . .JIMMY!"

"I don't believe it!" Shake said in amazement. "The pipsqueak has done it!"

Jimmy jumped for joy during Plankton's announcement only for the other 11 men in the match to surround him. Jimmy ran up the ramp into the backstage area with everyone else following him. Jimmy ran down a hallway and into a parking garage. Jimmy ran toward the exit door next to a large garage door but took a knee next to the front of a car to catch his breath. Suddenly Tommy kneed Jimmy's head against the car, knocking him out cold! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .3! The bell rang as Tommy screamed in celebration.

"Here is your new Hardcore Champion. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"

Sweet Tooth grabbed Tommy's neck out of nowhere and lifted him up for a chokeslam but Tommy kicked out of it, and took him down with a fireman's carry. Claude Speed suddenly nailed Tommy with a spear against the garage door and covered him. 1. . .2. . .3! The bell rang as Claude got into a brawl with Vash.

"Here is your new Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"

Vash went to punch Claude with a fist of brass knuckles but Claude countered it into an armbar. Lupin III put Claude into a sleeper hold, but in doing so caused Claude's hand to knock the brass knuckles off of Vash's hand! Not knowing this, Vash still nailed Lupin and Claude with a clothesline and covered Claude. 1. . .2. . .Sweet Tooth broke up the count! Donkey Kong charged at Sweet Tooth but slid out of his way. Vash and Claude got up but Sweet Tooth grabbed each of them by the neck and hit them with a Double Chokeslam! Sweet Tooth covered them both 1. . .2. . .3! The bell rang as Sweet Tooth nailed Sub-Zero with a chokeslam! At this point there were 4 ½ minutes remaining in the match.

"Here is your new Hardcore Champion. . .SWEET TOOTH!"

Bowser tried to hit Sweet Tooth with the spike-knuckle fist but Sweet Tooth countered, knocking the spiked knuckles off his hand, and hit him with a back drop on a crate. Solid Snake went to tackle Sweet Tooth but he pushed Snake out of his path. Suddenly, Claude Speed hit Sweet Tooth from behind with a tire iron. Sweet Tooth turns around and goes to hit Claude with a big boot, but Claude grabbed it.

"GET OVER HERE!"

While Vash picked up Claude and hit him with a Scoop Slam, Sweet Tooth turned around and Scorpion nailed him with a fist wrapped in his chain! Scorpion goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .3! The bell rang as Scorpion made his way out of the parking garage.

"Here is your new Hardcore Champion. . .SCORPION!"

Scorpion made his way down the hallway with Sweet Tooth, Vash, Donkey Kong, Solid Snake, Samurai Jack, Sub-Zero and Lupin right behind him. Various brawls between the eight wrestlers broke out until they made it back to ringside. Sub Zero broke out of a brawl with Vash, leapfrogged over Donkey Kong and hit Scorpion with a sit-down bulldog! Sub-Zero went for the cover but Lupin nailed him with a lead pipe.

Suddenly down the ramp came Claude Speed in a golf cart, with Tommy in the back seat! They almost hit the ring but Donkey Kong and Bowser stepped in front of the golf cart and stopped it with their strength! Claude and Tommy got off the cart and Claude choked out Scorpion with a belt while Tommy hit every man around him with a steel chair. Scorpion tapped out! The bell rang as Claude let go.

"Here is your new Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"

Solid Snake then put Claude in a sleeper hold! The referee raised Claude's hand once but Claude immediately raised it back up, and hit Snake with elbow shots to the gut. Snake broke the hold and Claude hit Snake with a DDT. Claude then crawled into the ring and laid on his back, catching his breath. Tommy got into the ring as well, with Vash and a now bloody Lupin in the ring after him. Lupin went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Vash pulled Lupin off Claude and threw him out of the ring. Vash then covered Claude with a hook to the leg. 1. . .2. . .3! The bell rang and Vash turned around to face Tommy.

"Here is your new Hardcore Champion. . .VASH THE STAMPEDE!"

Vash turned Tommy around and they began to hit each other with a fury of punches. Vash Irish whipped Tommy into the ropes, but Vash missed a superkick. On the bounceback, Tommy hit Vash with a Lou Thesz Press and began to hit Vash repeatedly with his right fist, which had Vash's brass knuckles on it! Tommy got off Vash and let out a scream of intensity. Vash, now busted open, groggily got up to his feet. Tommy tied him up and dropped Vash onto Donkey Kong's barrel with the Vercetti Driver (Vertebreaker)! Tommy then covered Vash! 1. . .2. . .3! The bell rang and Tommy screamed "YEAHH!" in temporary victory!

"Here is your new Hardcore Champion. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"

Suddenly Lupin hit Tommy with a double leg drop off the top rope from behind! Lupin went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Tommy kicked out! Lupin can't believe it!

"How is this even possible?" Shake questioned.

"I wish I knew Shake!" Early said. "Only one minute left!"

Lupin pulled Tommy up to his feet and Irish whipped him into the ropes. Tommy bounced off the ropes on the right side of the ring. As Tommy came back, Lupin put the spiked knuckles that Bowser lost onto his right fist! After Tommy bounced off the ropes on the left side of the ring, Tommy AND Lupin nailed each other with a right-handed punch, Tommy with the brass knuckles on Lupin, and Lupin with the spiked knuckles onto Tommy!

"OH MY GOD!" Early unintelligibly yelled. "EVERYONE IS DOWN AND OUT! WHO'S GONNA BE THE HARDCORE CHAMPION? ONLY 30 SECONDS REMAIN!"

Vash slowly crawled on top of Tommy for the cover. 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!

Vash punched the mat repeatedly in frustration! He got up but Tommy nailed him with an uppercut that sent him over the ropes and out of the ring. With twenty seconds left, Claude got to his feet and faced Tommy. They exchanged bare-knuckle fists until Claude nailed Tommy in the head with a 2x4, breaking it and knocking Tommy down to the mat! With five seconds left, Claude stumbled onto Tommy for the cover.

1 . .

2\. . .

. . .3! The bell rang, signaling the end of the match! Smiliing, Claude turned over to lay on his back and raised his fist in victory.

"Here is your winner, and the official FIRST Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"

The referee helped Claude to his feet and raised his arm with the title belt. Upon receiving the Hardcore Championship belt, Claude looked around at all the fans cheering for him in the stands and raised his hand up, holding the belt.

"My God, look at the carnage!" Early observed. "It looks like a monster truck rally out here! There's weapons all over ringside, there's blood all over the mat, bodies are strewn around the ramp and ring, Tommy, Vash and Lupin need medical attention-"

"-and Claude Speed emerges from it all as our first Hardcore Champion!" finished Shake.

Tommy turned over to try and push himself up as Claude got out of the ring and looked back at it. Tommy weakly raised his fist in the air, saluting Claude, who smiled back at him.

Meanwhile, backstage, Squidward Tentaclesstood in a hallway with a microphone in hand.

"At this time," Squidward said, "please welcome the second of four participants in the Fatal Four Way for the vacant XCW World Heavyweight Championship – Bugs Bunny!"

"Eh, what's up Doc?" asked Bugs.

"Bugs," Squidward asked, ". . .you were an announcer before you were a wrestler. How did you make the transition, and how do you like your chances in the main event tonight?"

"Well you see, Mac. . ." Bugs answered, ". . .I called all those matches for all those years, thinking 'I could never be like them.' But wrestling Hall-of-Famers like Fred Flintstone, Homer Simpson, and of course, Mickey Mouse throughout my career made me not only believe I could, but they also made me want to honor them."

"And I'm going to do just that tonight, because the last thing I want is for some poser ninja who thinks he's a badass, a fat plumber from a video game, and an even fatter cat from a comic strip dishonoring what it is to be a world champion. . .of cartoon wrestling. I am the best cartoon wrestler there is today because I learned from the greats by watching them fight, stepping toe-to-toe with them, from being with them since day one, and from all that, I carry their prestige, their tricks of the trade, and their honor, and with all those, I will become the first XCW World Heavyweight Champion!"

"The following contest is an Over-The-Top Rope Battle Royal for the XCW Women's Championship! Introducing the participants. . ."

"Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson played as various divas made their way down the ramp and entered the ring, all of them focused on the ring.

"From the city of Townsville. . .Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. . .The Powerpuff Girls!

"From Peach Creek. . .Lee, May, and Marie. . .the Kanker Sisters!"

"From Japan. . .Fujiko!"

"From The Mushroom Kingdom. . .Daisy!"

"From Besaid. . .Yuna!"

"From Bikanel Island. . .Rikku!"

"From Peach Creek. . .Nazz!"

"Brackish" by Kittie played as Peach made her way down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

"From the Mushroom Kingdom. . .Princess Peach!"

Peach blew kisses to the crowd as she ran down the ramp and slid into the ring.

"Brick By Boring Brick" played as Faye Valentine strutted down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

"From Planet Earth. . .Faye Valentine!"

"Damn, these divas are like popcorn kernels: they keep getting hotter and hotter as they come out!" Shake said.

"What?" Early asked in confusion.

"Heavy in Your Arms" by Florence + The Machine played as Sora ran onto the stage and posed like Tai.

"And from Tokyo, Japan. . .Sora Takenouchi!"

"Will Sora do what her husband Tai did earlier tonight, and bring gold home to the Kamiya residence?" Early asked.

"I don't know about that, but my God, these girls are hot!" Shake observed. "If I came here in my rocket car, I'd totally be bench-pressing it right now."

Early rolled his eyes.

The bell rang and various brawls and catfights ensued in the ring; the Kankers brawled with each of the Powerpuff Girls, Nazz had Daisy backed up in a corner, Peach had Rikku in an armlock, Sora had Faye tied up at the waist, and Fujiko slapped Yuna repeatedly on the ground until Yuna turned her on her back and punched her. Faye elbowed out of Sora's tie-up and shoved her. Sora responded with a clothesline! The Powerpuff Girls and Kankers brawled close to the ropes. May Kanker Irish whipped Bubbles to the left side of the ring, and on the bounce-back May hit Bubbles with a back drop that sent her over the top rope and out of the match! Buttercup and Blossom charged at May but she and Lee hit Blossom with a double powerbomb that eliminated her, and then Marie and May double clotheslined Buttercup out of the ring. Lee patted May and Marie on the back before throwing them both over the top rope, eliminating them!

"What great teamwork until that bitch move!" Early said in disgust.

"Hey it's every woman for herself!" Shake said.

Sora had Nazz backed up in a corner and hit her with a running high knee, which sent Nazz sitting down at the bottom of the corner. Faye grappled Sora into a headlock and Irish whipped her toward the ropes. On the bounce back, Faye picked Sora up and went for a neckbreaker, but Sora countered it into three consecutive German suplexes! Lee saw Nazz sitting in the corner, ran toward her and hit the Bronco Buster! Meanwhile, Yuna picked Fujiko up by her hair and punched her in the face. She hung onto the ropes for dear life but Yuna kicked her off the ring apron, eliminating her. Yuna turned around to be met by a missile dropkick from Daisy that eliminated her! Lee Kanker picked her up and nailed Daisy with a Kanker Sore (Reverse Death Valley Driver)! Lee Irish whipped Daisy to the ropes and hit her with a clothesline that eliminated her. Nazz slowly got up and tried to kick Lee in the gut but Lee caught it and hit Nazz with an enziguri that sent her over the top rope, eliminating her.

Peach hit Rikku with a Lou Thesz Press and repeatedly slapped her. Rikku turned her over on her back and picked her up. She started to push Peach toward the ropes but Peach countered it into a Russian leg sweep. Peach and Lee stomped on Rikku until Faye hit Lee with a Big Boot that sent her careening over to the ropes. Peach picked up Rikku and threw her over the top rope, eliminating her.

"Only four remain!" Early said. "Who's gonna win the Women's Championship?"

"Hopefully one of the hot ones." Shake said.

Sora, Peach, Faye and Lee Kanker glared at each other in the center of the ring. Sora tied up Peach in a waist lock while Faye repeatedly chopped Lee. Sora went for a German suplex but Peach hit Sora with a low blow that brought her down to one knee. Peach then hit Sora with a DDT. Faye Irish whipped Lee into the corner and charged at her for a running clothesline, but Lee ducked out of the way and Faye eliminated herself!

Peach picked up Sora and set her up for a powerbomb. She picked her up but Sora countered it into a Soracanrana (Frankensteiner/Hurricanrana), then ran into Lee and hit her with a Soracanrana! Sora ran off the ropes opposite of Lee and Peach and on the bounce back grabbed Lee by the back of her shirt and threw her off the top rope with authority!

"And then there were two. . ." Early said suspensefully.

"There should be a third-" Shake chimed in.

"Lemme guess. . ." Early asked, "you in the middle?"

Shake grinned. "You bet!"

Sora picked Peach up and started to take her over to a corner of the ring but Peach poked her in the eye. Peach led Sora to the corner and rammed her head in the top turnbuckle, after which, Sora fell to the ground facing up. Peach pointed at the top turnbuckle and went up to the top rope. Peach then attempted a moonsault but Sora put her knees up! Peach clenched her body in pain but Sora grabbed her and threw her over the top rope eliminating her and ending the match!

"Here is your winner, and the FIRST Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"

"The referee raised Sora's hand and gave her the Women's title belt in victory. Sora got on the top turnbuckle and raised the belt over her head in celebration!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a force on our hands." Early said. "In winning the Television and Women's Championships tonight, Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi have established themselves as the power couple of XCW."

"Well Sora can always-" Shake said until Early interrupted him.

"Shake, just stop."

Backstage, Squidward stood next to Mario with a microphone in hand.

"Joining me now is the third of the four competitors in the Fatal Four-Way match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. Please welcome. . .Mario!" said Squidward.

"Now Mario, you are the only person left of your friends that can make history tonight, and bring gold home to the Mushroom Kingdom. However, it's the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. Is the pressure on?"

"Let me tell you something, Squid." Mario said. "I have a reputation of being a winner. I'm a former CWF World Champion. I've won golf championships, I've won tennis championships, I've won kart racing championships, I've won the Nobel Prize in Medicine, you name anything, I've won something in it. You know why? Because I am the best in the world. And my opponents know this too; because they get intimidated by my presence when I walk by them. I know every way around every situation. I have what it takes to win. I know what it takes to win. After our match tonight, Bugs Bunny, Hotsuma, and Garfield will look in the ring, and see that the XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .is a-me. . .MARIO!"

"The following contest is a 4-way Tag Team Turmoil match for the XCW Tag Team Championship! In this contest, two tag teams will start out until one loses by pinfall or submission, then another team will come out. This will continue until the final team is eliminated."

"Wabbit" by Misshin played as Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd walked down the ramp.

"Introducing first. . .the team of Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd!"

"Daffy and Elmer Fudd are two rivals of Bugs Bunny." Early said.

"If they win this match tonight and Bugs loses, who knows what they'll do to get inside the head of Bugs!" Shake said.

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played and the lights dimmed in the arena. Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage, and Ed and Edd jumped onto the stage from below it, to a standing ovation.

"And from Peach Creek, TEAM ED!"

Ed and Edd ran down the ramp making the name 'Ed' with their hands. They slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle.

"It is absolutely electric in here!" Early said. "Former CWF tag team champions, the team formerly known as the Erupting Eds makes their way into XCW, and have the potential to become our first tag team champions. But can Ed and Edd beat three other teams to do it, and with their former friend Eddy still in CWF?"

"I believe that's Mr. Eddy to you, Early." Shake said.

The bell rang and Ed started off in the ring against Daffy Duck. Daffy charged at Ed but Ed took him down right away with a European uppercut. Daffy got right back up and went after Ed again but Ed tied him up into a grapple. Daffy broke the grapple and hit Ed with a trio of body chops. After the third one, though, Ed nailed Daffy with a monstrous clothesline! Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out. Daffy then ran to his corner and tagged in Elmer Fudd.

"Daffy doesn't want any part of Ed!" Early said.

"Come on, he barely did anything to him!" Shake said. "If Ed did those moves on me, I'd get up in a quarter of a second!"

Elmer entered the ring and tied Ed up in a headlock. Ed countered out of it and took Elmer down with a fireman's carry. Elmer got right back up and tied Ed up in a waist lock. He lifted Ed up for a back drop but Ed dropped out of it and hit Elmer with a chop block. Ed then tagged in Edd, who went up to the top turnbuckle and waited for Elmer to get up, then hit him with a diving bulldog! Edd went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy broke up the 3 count!

Edd sized up Elmer again and nailed him with a drop kick. Elmer got up and Edd went for another bulldog but Elmer powered out of it, pushing him into the ropes. On the bounceback, Elmer picked Edd up and hit him with a Samoan Drop! Elmer ran off the ropes and hit Edd with a couple elbow drops before going for the cover.

1\. . .2. . .Edd kicked out! Elmer picked Edd up, brought him over to his corner and tagged in Daffy, who pushed Edd in the corner and he and Elmer kicked Edd repeatedly in the turnbuckle. Daffy picked Edd up and Irish whipped him into the ropes. On the bounceback, Daffy hit Edd with a neckbreaker and went for the cover. 1. . .2. . .Edd kicked out. Daffy drug Edd into a turnbuckle and began to punch him in the face. He then drug Edd to the top rope of the corner and went for a Superplex, but Edd pushed Daffy off of him! Edd sized Daffy up and nails him with a Tornado DDT!

Both men were down and slowly crawled to their corners. Both Ed and Elmer had their hands out, in anticipation for a tag. Edd leapt to Ed, tagging him into the match! Ed ran over to Daffy and Elmer's corner and clotheslined Elmer off the ring apron before hitting Daffy with a shoulder block! Ed taunted Daffy to get up and headbutted him in the face, then taunted him again, and hit him with a belly-to-belly suplex! Ed let out a scream of intensity then did Randy Orton's wake-up-taunt. Daffy got up groggily, then Ed put him on his shoulders and hit an Eledrifier (F-5)!

Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!

"The winner of this match by pinfall. . .Team Ed! Their next opponents. . .the team of Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4, THE JOHNNY BOYZ!"

Tommy Dreamer's WWE theme played as Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4 walked down the ramp.

Once they got to ringside, Edd jumped from the top turnbuckle to nail both Johnny and Jonny with a Diving EDsault!

"Wow! Did you see how much air he got?" Shake asked in excitement.

"The match hasn't even started yet!" Early said.

Johnny groggily got up to his feet and slid into the ring under the bottom rope. The bell rang and the match began, but Johnny had no idea where he was, unaware that Ed was right behind him! Johnny turned around and Ed nailed Johnny with an Eledrifier! Ed covered Johnny 1. . .2. . .3!

"That's it?" Shake asked in disappointment.

"My God, Ed is one intense wrestler!" Early said.

"The winners of this match by pinfall. . .TEAM ED! Their next opponents. . ."

Suddenly all the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren followed by "YOU EEEDIOT!" followed by Scott Steiner's TNA music played, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walked onto the stage and down the ramp to a thunderous ovation!

"From Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .the team of REN AND STIMPY!"

"Oh my God!" Shake exclaimed.

"Ren and Stimpy are here in XCW!" Early yelled. "And they're making a beeline for Team Ed!"

Ren and Stimpy slid into the ring and brawls ensued between Stimpy and Ed, and Ren and Edd! Ed picked up Stimpy for a scoop slam but Stimpy countered out of it and hit a Russian leg sweep. Meanwhile, Edd and Ren continued brawling until the referee broke up the fight and ordered them to go back to their corners. They did, and Ed and Stimpy were left in the ring. Stimpy stomped on Ed a couple times and went for a third stomp but Ed grabbed Stimpy's foot and threw him to the ground. Ed got up and set Stimpy up for an Eledrifier but Stimpy countered it into a swinging neckbreaker.

Stimpy got up and raised his hands and taunted the crowd. Stimpy tagged in Ren, who went up to the top rope, and Stimpy spread Ed's legs apart so his groin faced Ren. Stimpy looked at Ren and screamed "WASSUP?" with Ren screaming it back to him. Ren then dove off the turnbuckle and nailed a headbutt to the groin of Ed!

Ren went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Edd broke up the three count!

Edd clotheslined Stimpy off the ring apron and clotheslined Ren before sliding out of the ring. Slowly getting to their feet, Ed picked up Ren and had him up for a suplex. He held Ren up for 10 seconds before finally slamming him to the mat!

Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy pulled Ed off Ren and out of the ring!

Edd climbed up to the top of his corner, waited for Ren to get up and nailed a Diving Spear onto Ren! Meanwhile, Stimpy and Ed got into a fistfight on the outside of the ring. Ed nailed an uppercut onto Stimpy, then slid back into the ring and covered Ren.

1\. . .2. . .Ren kicked out!

"The shocked face of Ed says it all! Ren has been jackhammered, he has been speared, what more will this man go through to win the tag team titles for him and Stimpy?" yelled Early.

Ed taunted Ren to get up and went for another Eledrifier but Ren countered it into a DDT. Both Ed and Ren crawled to their respective corners and made tags to Stimpy and Edd! Stimpy ran toward Edd and clotheslined him, then turned around and clotheslined him again! Edd got up and Stimpy nailed him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Stimpy taunted Edd to get up, and went for a Log Cutter, but Edd pushed him toward the ropes and made a tag to Ed, who hit Stimpy with a destructive Spear!

Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ren broke up the three count!

Ed picked Ren up for another Eledrifier but Stimpy kicked Ed in the gut and nailed a double-armed DDT, then went for the cover!

1\. . .2. . .Edd broke up the three count!

Ren picked up Edd for a standing fireman's carry and threw him out of the ring, onto the concrete floor! Stimpy Irish whipped Ed into the ropes, and Ren and Stimpy nailed an R&S Death Drop (3-D Death Drop) onto him!

Stimpy covered him, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .3!

"Here are your winners, and the FIRST Xtreme Championship Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .REN AND STIMPY!"

"What an effort by all four of these men!" Early exclaimed. "Team Ed may have lasted the longest but in the end, our first Tag Team Champions are the team of Ren and Stimpy!"

Shake nodded in agreement. "What a match!"

The referee handed Ren and Stimpy the tag title belts and raised their hands in victory before the show went backstage to Squidward Tentacles, who stood next to Hotsuma.

"Please welcome the fourth and final participant of the Fatal Four Way match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .Hotsuma!"

"Hotsuma," Squidward asked, ". . .a lot of people consider you to be the most mysterious of the competitors here tonight because not only are you from Shinobi, a video game that's almost 10 years old, but also no one knows much about you. With this, do you think you have an advantage in the match tonight?"

Squidward put the microphone up to Hotsuma's face, but he said nothing back.

Perplexed, Squidward asked, "Hotsuma?"

". . .what I am capable of. . ." Hotsuma said, ". . .what I will do in that ring tonight, and who I am. . .you'll know all there is to know about me once that bell rings."

Hotsuma walked away from Squidward in repressed anger.

"The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is a Fatal Four-Way match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!"

"Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny played as Bugs Bunny posed on the stage then walked down the ramp.

"Introducing first, from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!"

"Bugs promises to fight with the prestige and tricks of the legends' trade tonight." Early said. "Who would've thought that we'd see Bugs in this match tonight, Shake?"

"No doubt, we'll see for ourselves if Bugs has made the complete transition from announcer to wrestler, and if he does it well." Shake said.

Bugs entered the ring and posed on the turnbuckle.

"Red Lottery" by Megasus played as the arena became engulfed in red light. Hotsuma walked on the stage and down the ramp, looking at nothing but the ring.

"From Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!"

"Now I know he didn't reveal anything about himself in his interview, but this guy, Hotsuma, has something very sinister about him." Shake said.

"You're absolutely right, Shake." Early agreed. "I'm scared just looking at him! I can only imagine what he'll do in the ring!"

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario ran onto the stage and down the ramp, raising his hand in a peace sign, posing to the crowd.

"From the Mushroom Kingdom. . .MARIO!"

"Mario just might be the most decorated wrestler we have here in XCW." Early said. "Not only is he a former CWF World Champion, he's also won countless first place trophies in almost every major sport, heck, he's even an Olympic gold medalist!"

"He's so decorated and successful, it's no wonder he's married into royalty, too!" Shake said.

Mario entered the ring and climbed on top of each turnbuckle, saluting the crowd with the peace sign symbol.

"Mario is a man who has done it all, and could do even more here in XCW, starting by winning the World Heavyweight Championship." Early said.

"Bad Man" by Jim Johnston played as Garfield and Jon Arbuckle walked down the ramp. Garfield and Jon stared at the ring with malicious intent as the crowd booed them.

"Being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle, from Chicago, Illinois. . .GARFIELD!"

"Now I know XCW is in its infancy, but I already believe that this man Garfield, will make a huge impact. But whether it's a good or bad impact remains to be seen." Early said.

"No kidding." Shake said. "A man of his size, and with his manager/owner Jon Arbuckle scheming by his side, who knows how much destruction he'll bring about to our company."

Garfield stepped over all three ropes and stared down the other three competitors, who all scanned the ring around each other as the bell rang, but the four-way staredown continued.

"Who will be our first World Heavyweight Champion?" Early asked. "Will it be one of the icons: Mario or Bugs Bunny? Or will it be the monster Garfield, or the sinister Hotsuma?"

Shake wondered, "Who will take the first shot?"

Mario and Hotsuma exchanged punches and chops while Bugs and Garfield got into a tie-up. Garfield started to push Bugs down in the tie up but he fought out of the grapple and ran to the opposite side of the ring, away from Garfield. Meanwhile, Mario winced in pain with each chop Hotsuma landed on him. Mario managed to block a chop and tied Hotsuma into a side headlock. He went for a neckbreaker but Hotsuma countered it into a waist-lock, and raked Mario's back. Hotsuma then drove Mario into a corner turnbuckle and rammed his shoulder into Mario's body repeatedly!

"Good God, Hotsuma's just going to town on Mario's body! He's been working on nothing but the sternum so far!" Early observed.

Mario fell down to become seated in the corner. Hotsuma yelled something at the crowd, and they began to boo him. Meanwhile, Bugs and Garfield got into another tie up, but Bugs turned it into a waist-lock on Garfield. He tried to lift up Garfield, but to no avail. Bugs sold his back until Garfield nailed him with a clothesline! He then walked over to Bugs and stepped on him! Bugs let out a painful scream.

"My God!" Early cringed. "All that weight on Bugs' back! The pain must be excruciating!"

The referee ordered for Garfield to get off Bugs, and even started a five-count. Garfield got off when the ref reached four, then raised his fists in the air, taunting the crowd. Bugs slowly got up to his feet, and went in for another tie-up, but Garfield headbutted him back to the mat. Garfield went to pick Bugs up, but he rolled out of the ring to catch his breath. Jon ran up to him and screamed at him to get back into the ring. In annoyance, Bugs clotheslined Jon to the concrete! Garfield saw this and went after Bugs outside the ring! They got into a chase at ringside, while Hotsuma choked Mario with his foot in the corner turnbuckle. The ref started the five count again, and at four, Hotsuma let go, and started to argue with the ref. Mario slowly got up off the mat and tied Hotsuma up in a waist-lock, then nailed him with a back drop. Hotsuma got up, and they locked arms again, this time Mario took Hotsuma down with a fireman's carry. Bugs rolled back into the ring from the left side, with Garfield slow to get in after him.

"Garfield's tired now! What strategy from Bugs!" Shake said.

"How much longer till he catches his breath, though?" Early wondered.

Bugs tied Mario up with a waist-lock of his own, and went for a Russian leg sweep but Mario countered it into a German suplex pin!

1…..2. . .Hotsuma broke up the count.

Garfield got back into the ring. Mario and Hotsuma traded punches and chops again until Bugs drove Hotsuma into the ropes. On the bounceback, Bugs picked up Hotsuma and hit him with a suplex! Bugs then went to pick Hotsuma up only for Garfield to pick Bugs up and hold him above his head. Garfield then dropped Bugs face first onto the mat! Garfield put his foot on Bugs for the cover.

1... .2. . .Mario chop blocked Garfield's leg off of Bugs, which brought him down to one knee.

Mario drop kicked Garfield down to the mat, then went for the cover! 1. . . 2. . .Hotsuma broke up the count.

Mario and Hotsuma exchanged chops until Garfield grabbed both of them by the neck and nailed them with a double chokeslam! Garfield laid down on both of them for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs nailed a double axe handle on Garfield to break up the count!

Bugs tried to roll out of the ring but Garfield grabbed him by the legs and pulled him back in and squeezed him into a Cathug (Bearhug)!

"He's squeezing poor Bugs until his eyeballs pop out!" Early screamed.

"He's fading! He's fading!" Shake cried.

Bugs drifted into unconsciousness as the referee raised his hand once. . .twice. . .before the referee could raise his hand one more time, Hotsuma pulled Garfield's legs out from under him and sent him crashing to the mat on his back, but Bugs was still on top of him for the cover!

1\. . .2. . .Hotsuma pushed Bugs off Garfield, out of the ring!

Mario went to put Garfield in a Boston Crab but Garfield kicked Mario away from him. Hotsuma put Garfield in a headlock only for Garfield to stand up with Hotsuma still grabbing onto his neck. Garfield, however countered that into a Samoan Drop! Mario nailed Garfield with a series of chops that brought him back down to one knee. Mario ran off the ropes behind him and went for a missile dropkick but Garfield connected with a big boot! Garfield then ran off the ropes and performed a Cat Splash (Big Splash) onto Mario!

Garfield went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

Hotsuma came out of nowhere and punted Garfield in the face, knocking him out cold!

"THE BIG MAN IS DOWN! THE BIG MAN IS DOWN AND OUT!" Early exclaimed!

"I can't believe it!" Shake yelled.

Garfield rolled out of the ring and collapsed to the ringside area. Selling his abdomen, Mario got back up to his feet and he and Hotsuma exchanged chops. Mario then put Hotsuma into a headlock and lifted him up for a suplex, but Hotsuma countered it into an Akujiki! (RKO)

Hotsuma went for the cover – 1. . .

2\. . .

Bugs pulled the referee out of the ring! Bugs slid back in and he and Hotsuma began to exchange chops until Hotsuma blocked one and tried to put Bugs in a sleeper hold, but Bugs kicked out of it and Irish whipped Hotsuma towards the ropes! On the bounceback, Bugs hit Hotsuma with a scoop slam! Bugs then pointed up at a top turnbuckle and climbed on top of it!

"Bugs has been stepped on, he's had his life choked out of him, and he's been dropped from 10 feet above the ring, but he has enough in him to hit the ACME ELBOW!" Early cried, as Bugs landed the Acme Elbow Drop onto Hotsuma! Bugs went for the cover without the referee!

"BUGS IS GONNA DO IT!" Early yelled. "HE'S GONNA JOIN MICKEY MOUSE, HOMER SIMPSON, POPEYE, AND FRED FLINTSTONE! HE'S GONNA MAKE HISTORY!"

"THERE'S NO REFEREE!" Shake reminded. "THERE'S NO REFEREE!"

Suddenly, another referee sprinted like hell down the ramp and slid into the ring and starts the count!

1\. . .

2\. . .

. . .Mario leapt onto Bugs and broke up the count at 2.5!

"HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?" Early asked in excitement. "ALL THREE OF THE REMAINING MEN IN THIS RING RIGHT NOW WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE IN THE HISTORY BOOKS AS THE FIRST XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!"

Bugs slowly rose to his feet as Hotsuma sold his neck and rolled out of the ring. Bugs and Mario engaged in a staredown.

"Oh boy!" Shake squealed. "It's all down to these two men now!"

"Two icons in entertainment! Bugs in cartoons, Mario in video games!" Early said. "Who's gonna win the World title?"

After a 15-second staredown, Bugs and Mario exchanged furies of punches! The crowd roared in excitement as eventually Mario landed a gut kick and lifted Bugs up and hit him with a suplex! Mario got back up without letting Bugs go, and nailed him with two more suplexes!

"Three non-stop suplexes!" Shake said, amazed! "What strength from Mario!"

Mario lifted Bugs up for one more suplex but Bugs landed a kick to Mario's gut and nailed him with the Bunny Bomb (Jackknife Powerbomb)!

"BUGS HAS GOT HIM! HOOK TO THE LEG!" Early cried as the referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . . . .

2.9 Mario kicked out! Bugs punched the mat in frustration! Slow to get up, he limped up to the top of the turnbuckle and slapped his elbow twice.

"Going for the Acme Elbow again!" Early called.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures!" Shake said.

Bugs went for the Acme Elbow but Mario rolled closer to the turnbuckle, leaving Bugs to land on the mat!

"So close, but so far away!" Early said as Bugs screamed in pain and laid flat on his back.

Mario slowly climbed up to the top turnbuckle, then signaled for the crowd to get up, then hit Bugs with a Super Mario Splash (Frog Splash)! Mario clenched his abdomen in pain as he crawled in for the cover!

1\. . . . . . .

2\. . . . .

. . . . . .3!

"It's over!" Early said. "Mario is our first World Heavyweight Champion!"

"The winner of this bout, and the FIRST Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. . .MARIO!"

The crowd erupted into a standing ovation! With tears in his eyes, Mario stood up and the referee raised his arm. The referee then gave Mario the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt. Mario kept his hands up in celebration as he climbed onto a turnbuckle.

"It's Mario that makes history, although Bugs did what he promised, he used all the tricks of the trade, everything he had in his arsenal!" Early said.

"But Mario had all that and more. God, what a match! What a night!" Shake said from the excitement.

"How's that for a first episode?" Early asked.

"I can't wait for next week!" Shake said.

Mario stood on the top turnbuckle, raising his arms and the belt up above his head. He pointed up at the ceiling in victory as red and blue confetti fell all over the ringside area! Pyro went off on the stage as Bugs stood on the ramp, looking at Mario and shaking his head at him in disbelief.

"Thank you for watching XCW Massacre!" Early said. "Good night everyone, we'll see you next week!"

Mario got on top of another turnbuckle and continued to celebrate as Massacre went off the air!


	2. XCW Massacre: January Week 2

Ok guys, here’s another entry of XCW Massacre! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme played over fireworks going off on the titantron as hundreds of fans cheered and held up signs of different colors. The ring, however, was decorated like a red carpet.

“Welcome to XCW Massacre, ladies and gentlemen! We are live in Gotham City where we will see who will step up and challenge our new champions, now that they’re crowned! Hello everybody, I’m Early Cuyler, with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight Shake, I can’t wait to see the fallout from the events of last week!”

“Neither can I, Early!” Shake said. “Tonight we have an Intergender tag team match, where the Power Couple of XCW, Tai and Sora, take on Hotsuma and Lee Kanker, with the winners of the match becoming part of XCW’s entry into the CWF Supershow! I can’t wait!”

“Neither can I, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “But we start tonight off with a celebration!”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Space Ghost walked down the ramp and into the ring.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .Space Ghost!!!”

Space Ghost entered the ring above the second rope and looked around the arena with his fists up in the air. He then asked for a microphone.

“Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for your applause, and thank you for being here with us tonight!” Space Ghost said, before the crowd cheered once again.

“Thank you all for witnessing our first episode of Massacre, during which we crowned our first ever champions! Tai Kamiya is your Television Champion, his wife, Sora Takenouchi, is your Women’s Champion, and they’ll be in action later tonight, and Ren and Stimpy are your first-ever Tag Team Champions. But right now I am here to award the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship, to the first man to hold it.”

Princess Peach, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, and even Bowser and Donkey Kong walked down the ramp and into the ring and stood behind Space Ghost.

Space Ghost continued to speak into the microphone. “Last night this man beat three other men for this title, showing incredible strength and character. This man is no stranger to world championships, having won one with the Cartoon Wrestling Federation. But this man will go down in history as XCW’s first World Heavyweight Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, it is an honor and a privilege to introduce to you, your FIRST Cartoon Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Champion. . .MARIO!!!”

“Teen Beat Ocean” by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario ran onto the stage and raised his hand in celebration as Space Ghost and everyone in the ring started to applaud.

“And an interestingly mixed ovation from the crowd towards our first world heavyweight champion!” Early observed.

“No surprise considering the outcome of the match last night.” said Shake. “They all thought Bugs had the match won!”

“Bugs showed a lot of guts and tenacity last night!” Early said. “But Mario capitalized on one mistake, and as a result, made his way in the history books last night.”

Mario walked down the ramp slowly and entered the ring through the second rope. He climbed onto each turnbuckle and raised his fists in the air. After coming down from the last one, he came face-to-face with Space Ghost.

“Mario,” Space Ghost said, “. . .you showed excellent fortitude and resilency in your match last night, and didn’t back down from the steep challenge that came with it, and showed excellent power and technical wrestling skills. For those reasons and more, I am proud to award you this belt.”

The crowd cheered again as Space Ghost got down on one knee and handed Mario the championship. After he took the belt, everyone in the ring claps for Mario, who embraced and kissed Peach before hugging Luigi.

“Thank you, Space Ghost.” Mario said. “I am honored to be this company’s first World Heavyweight Champion. I’d like to thank you and our chairman for welcoming me here, and I’d like to thank my brother Luigi, my girlfriend Peach, and everyone else from the Mushroom Kingdom that decided to take the trip here with me. I’d like to thank all the fans who witnessed my match and are witnessing this ceremony, and I’d also like to thank JC from CWF for getting me started in animated wrestling.”

“But right now I’d like to promise one thing. As your first World Heavyweight Champion, I will defend this title with pride. I will defend this title with honor. And I will defend this title with respect. I will represent this company as a man who---“

“What’s Up Doc?” followed by “Buggin” by Bugs Bunny suddenly started playing as Bugs Bunny made his way into the ring with a microphone.

“Eh, what’s up Doc?” Bugs said. “Sorry for interrupting, don’t mind me! What were you going to say?”

At this point Bugs was in the ring, and up in Mario’s face.

“You will represent this company as a man who. . .isn’t a cartoon character? I’m sorry, but your 90s cartoon with live-action comedy skits is as big an embarrassment as what I’m looking at right now! Let me see that belt, and let me point something out to you.”

Bugs took the belt away from Mario and showed it to him.

“According to our own title belt, XCW stands for Xtreme CARTOON Wrestling.”

Bugs draped the belt over Mario’s shoulder. Mario stared at him not moving a muscle.

“Because you’re someone who came from a video game first and a cartoon second, you’re not qualified to be the first to carry our World Championship. My shorts have been showcased all over the world since 1930! Hell, I would’ve had you beat last night if you didn’t roll away from the Acme Elbow. I’m the right person to carry that championship, and you know it, Space Ghost knows it, and all these people know it!”

The crowd cheered once Bugs finished speaking. 

“You know what Bugs, you make a compelling argument.” Mario said. “But who’s hip right now? Whose merchandise sells out more on a regular basis? Hell, you said it yourself that your shorts have been around since 1930; when was the last time your shorts were shown on primetime television? You’re obsolete, Bugs! I’ve got more in the tank than I ever thought I did, while you. . .it’s too little, too late for you and your friends!”

Bugs seethed with anger as the crowd booed Mario.

“You want a shot at my Championship? Mario asked. “Tell you what, if you beat my brother Luigi one-on-one tonight, you’ll get your title match at Whiplash, our next pay-per-view. Lose, and you join the rest of your toon friends to collect cobwebs and dust. How’s that sound?”

Bugs nodded his head and pointed at Luigi, who stood behind Mario.

“You’re on!” Bugs agreed. “Luigi, I’ll see you in the ring!”

“Good luck tonight, Bugs.” Mario said. “You’re gonna need it.”

Bugs went to leave the ring under the second rope but stopped as Mario spoke again.

“By the way, Bugs. . .”

Bugs came face-to-face with Mario again.

“Yes, you are a stinker!”

Mario suddenly punched Bugs with a right hand! Mario and Bugs brawled on the mat until Bowser and Wario pulled him off Bugs, and Donkey Kong pushed Bugs out of the ring. Bugs yelled at the group as he backed up the ramp and the show went to a commercial.

“We’re back live here on Massacre, and Shake, we’re not even past the first half-hour but already chaos surrounds the World Heavyweight Championship!” Early said.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “Bugs is right to question Mario’s legitimacy as a video game character, but I personally thought Mario was entirely out of line to call Bugs obsolete, and start a fight in the middle of the ring! Completely un-championlike.”

“It certainly was.” Early said.

“Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played as Garfield stomped down the ramp with Jon at his side, to boos from the crowd.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle, from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“Well Garfield looks more angrier about the outcome of last week’s main event than Bugs did just now!” observed Early.

“Considering he almost had the match won until WHAM! Hotsuma knocked him out completely out of nowhere with a sickening knockout punt!” Shake added.

“Apparently when Garfield woke up well after the match ended, he was so angry he lost that not even his lasagna dinner could satisfy him!” Early said.

The Samurai Jack theme played as Samurai Jack walked down the ramp to cheers from the audience.

“And his opponent, from Feudal Japan. . .SAMURAI JACK!!!”

“My God, do you see the size differential between Garfield and Samurai Jack?” Shake asked Early.

“Yeah, Jack showed a good effort in surviving the Hardcore Battle Royal last week but never once got to hold the title. But tonight, he faces an even bigger challenge: the angry fat feline that is Garfield.” Early answered.

The bell rang, and Samurai Jack just stared up at Garfield. He went for a Judo kick but Garfield grabbed his leg and shoved him down to the mat! Samurai Jack then got back up and charged at Garfield but he shoved Jack into the corner and shoved his face in the top turnbuckle, choking him. The referee started the five count and when he got to four, Garfield let go only to hit Jack with a massive chop on his chest, sending him to crash down to the mat back first.

“Good grief!” cringed Early. “Jack has always been a valiant warrior, but this is too much! Just non-stop punishment!”

Garfield climbed up to the top turnbuckle.

“No way!” Shake said. “You know how big Garfield is, he’ll flatten Jack like a pancake!”

Garfield nailed a Lasagna Drop (Banzai Drop) onto Jack! Garfield got up easily and let out a roar. The crowd booed while Jon yelled towards them: “Oh, just wait!” 

Samurai Jack grabbed on to the ropes and picked himself up while clenching his chest. 

“Stay down, Jack!” Shake yelled. “The quicker this match ends, the better!”

Jack turned around and Garfield grabbed him by the throat, and took him down with a huge Chokeslam! Garfield put his foot on Jack for the cover.

1\. .2. . .3!

“Thank God it’s over.”

“The winner of this match, Garfield!!!”

After the bell rang, Garfield raised a fist in victory and roared while Jon looked at the crowd, pointing at him and yelling “Watch out for this man!”

“Garfield has made it very clear that he can and will take names here in XCW.” Early said.

As Garfield stepped over all three ropes and stomped back up the ramp, two referees checked on Jack in the ring.

Meanwhile, in a locker room, with the Hardcore Championship on his shoulder, Claude Speed and Tommy Vercetti watched World’s Wildest Police Videos on a TV.

“And then wait for it, wait for it, BOOM!” Tommy yelled. “The police car flew off the top of the North Point Mall parking garage!”

Claude and Tommy shared a laugh as Tommy opened up a beer.

“Good times.”

Someone knocked on the door from the outside.

“Come in!” Tommy yelled. The door opened and Space Ghost stepped inside.

“Hey, boss.” Tommy said. “How’s it going?”

“Very well, gentlemen.” Space Ghost answered. “I see your wound has healed, Tommy.”

“Yeah, that match did a number on everyone last week.” Tommy said.

“It did, but at the same time it was the most exciting match of the night.” Space Ghost replied. “Eleven title changes in ten minutes, with two in the final minute! Now because of the Supershow coming up, and XCW still in its infancy, I’ve had to think of ways to make our company stand out amongst the competition. And as soon as the Hardcore Battle Royal ended, I thought that excitement needed to surround the Hardcore Championship not only when it’s defended, but also all the time. And so after talking to our chairman, I came here to officially announce that the XCW Hardcore Championship is to be defended 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year!”

“You’re kidding me!” Tommy and Claude yelled in shock.

“Now, now, Claude, the title can only change hands when there’s a referee present, so don’t expect someone like Joe Everyman or a bum off the street to go after it.” Space Ghost assured. “You’ll only be defending it all day every day against the entire XCW roster.”

“Are you serious?” Claude asked.

“As a heart attack!” Space Ghost answered. “So Claude, with this rule now in effect, represent our company proud every day, especially the day of the Supershow, as the Hardcore Champion!”

Space Ghost left the room and shut the door.

“I can’t believe that!” Tommy said. “He should’ve just stayed on his talk show.”

“Yeah. . well I gotta go, I have a match against Spike next.” Claude said as he got off the couch.

“Alrighty, well, come back afterwards.” Tommy said. “And watch your back out there!”

Claude walked towards the door and opened it, then looked back at Tommy.

“I guess I have to now! I’ll see ya.”

Claude left the room, leaving Tommy back to watching TV.

“The Hardcore title is to be defended 24/7? That’s insane!” Early said.

“What will that do to Claude?” Shake wondered, as the show went to a commercial break.

After pyro exploded on the stage, “No Mercy” by Pharaoh Monche played and Claude Speed walked down the ramp with the Hardcore title around his waist and a 2x4 in his hand to cheers from the crowd.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Liberty City, he is the XCW Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!” 

“Last week featured a Hardcore Battle Royal to determine our first Hardcore Champion.” Early said. “It resulted in the ringside area turning into a monster truck rally, Tommy Vercetti, Vash, Lupin and others requiring medical attention, eleven title changes in ten minutes---“

Shake interrupted, “---and that man, Claude Speed, becoming our first Hardcore Champion. However, with this new rule in place, who knows how much longer Claude’s reign will last?”

“Tank!” by The Seatbelts played as Spike Spiegel walked down the ramp with a cigarette in his mouth.

“And his opponent, from the planet Mars. . .Spike Spiegel!!!”

“Spike may want to consider gunning for Claude’s title, considering he came home empty-handed after that grueling 4-way ladder match for the Television championship.”

The bell rang and Spike put Claude into a headlock, and kneed him repeatedly in the face before tying him up again, this time in a side headlock. Spike went for a neckbreaker but Claude countered it into a backslide pin! 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out.

Both men got to their feet and Claude hit Spike in the face with furious punches. He then Jrish whipped Spike toward the ropes. On the bounce back, Claude hit Spike with a Lou Thesz Press but before he could lay a punch down, Spike blocked his fist and nailed Claude with a punch of his own! Both men rose up and Spike pushed Claude into the corner and nailed him with punch after punch until the referee counted to four. Spike then went for the Real Folk Blues on Claude, but Claude rolled out of the way and then pushed Spike out of the ring! 

Claude slid out of the ring and nailed Spike with an elbow against the barricade. Claude Irish whipped Spike but he countered with an Irish whip of his own, sending Claude to crash into the steel steps!

“My God!” Early exclaimed. “Those steel steps are unforgiving!”

“Come on, Early, he’s the Hardcore Champion!” Shake said. “He better get used to it.”

Spike picked Claude up and tried to ram his face into the steel post, but Claude countered and nailed Spike head-first into it before Irish whipping him back into the ring. With Spike’s head on the ring apron, Claude nailed Spike with an elbow to the throat! 

Claude slid back in and went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out. 

Claude picked Spike up and nailed him with a right hand before hitting him with a suplex. Claude then stomped on Spike a few times before running against the ropes and going for an elbow drop, only for Spike to roll out of the way! The referee started the 10 count but once he got to three, both Spike and Claude were up to their feet.

Spike and Claude hit each other with right hands back and forth until Spike Irish whipped him into the ropes and hit him with a clothesline! He taunted for Claude to get up and hit him with another clothesline! He taunted for Claude to get up again and nailed him with a Facebuster! Spike went for the cover 

1\. . 2. . .Claude kicked out!

Spike got up and taunted for Claude to get up by stomping his foot down on the mat repeatedly. He went for the Real Folk Blues but Claude moved out of the way and hit a neckbreaker! Claude taunted for Spike to get up and nailed him with a spear! Claude taunted him again and hit Spike with a Lou Thesz Press and punched him furiously! Claude taunted Spike to get up one more time, bounced off the ropes and connected with a Scissors Kick! Claude went for the cover, unaware that Jet Black was running down the ramp with a referee next to him and a steel chair in hand!

1\. . .2. . .3!!!

“Here is your winner, CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

The bell rang, and the referee raised Claude’s hand and gave him the Hardcore title belt in victory. Claude celebrated until he looked at ringside to see Jet Black and the referee!

“Spike’s buddy taking advantage of the 24/7 rule!” Early said.

“That didn’t take long to catch on!” Shake commented.

Jet Black ran into the ring only to be met with a spear from Claude! Claude extended his hand to outside a ring post and grabbed his 2x4. Jet Black got up and Claude nailed him in the chest with the 2x4, breaking it! Claude rolled out of the ring and ran up the ramp with his belt as Jet Black and Spike looked on!

“Claude with a successful title defense!” Early said.

“Great match, Claude!” Shake exclaimed. “Now get out of dodge!”

Backstage, Squidward Tentacles stood in a hallway with a microphone in hand.

“Please welcome, the XCW Television Champion, and the XCW Women’s Champion: Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi!”

Squidward looked next to him to see Tai and Sora in a kiss. They let go and turned to face Squidward.

“Tai, Sora, congratulations on your championship victories last week!” Squidward said. “You both are from Japan, only to find yourself in the Digital World, then back to Japan, and now you’re both here in XCW! What brought you two in the business of animated wrestling?”

“Well, it was a couple years after our marriage and Sora and I were looking for a challenge in life.” Tai said. “We saw our friend Takeru, or T.K., win the AWF Championship live at the first Anime Mania, and from there we both saw the challenge we were looking for, and began training to become professional wrestlers! It was a long uphill climb but winning our titles last week was our final push to the top!”

Sora chimed in. “And when we win tonight and represent XCW in the supershow, we will prove that this company is a force to be reckoned with by showing exactly what wrestling here is about---“

Mario walked up behind Tai and Sora to boos from the crowd. “Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m hearing this right now!”

“Who are you to say you’ll make this company a force to be reckoned with?” Mario asked. “You won an over-the-top battle royal. Get over yourself!”

Mario looked up at Tai.

“And as for you. . .” Mario said, “. . .you haven’t even scratched the surface yet! You won’t reach the top until you’re more than just the XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .you’re a champion of life, like me!”

“Who the hell do you think you are to talk to me and my wife that way?” Tai asked angrily. “World Champion or not, we’re still in the history books with you!”

“Tai, it’s okay.” Sora said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “He’s just pissed his wife isn’t wearing this belt.”

“Don’t you guys have a match up next?” Mario asked. “Focus on beating Hotsuma, and then when Bugs loses tonight, we’ll see if you’re world title material.”

Mario walked away, leaving Tai with a pissed-off look on his face.

“You okay?” Sora asked.

“Yeah. . .some champion we’ve got.” Tai said audibly before he and Sora walked away from the interview space.

As the show returned from a commercial break, “Red Lottery” by Megasus played as the arena became engulfed in red light. Hotsuma walked on the stage and down the ramp, looking at nothing but the ring as the crowd booed.

“The following intergender tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!!!”

“We didn’t know too much about Hotsuma until the fatal 4-way match last week, and in that he proved to be a fierce competitor.” Early said.

“Absolutely!” Shake agreed. “Not only did he knock the living daylights out of the monster Garfield, but he also picked apart his opponents by wearing them out, body part after body part!”

“Tactics like those could earn him a spot in the CWF Supershow.” Early said.

“Sweet Dreams Are Made of These” by Marilyn Manson played as Lee Kanker walked down the ramp and into the ring to boos from the crowd.

“And his partner, from Peach Creek. . .LEE KANKER!!!”

“Last week, Lee Kanker demonstrated deadly ring tactics like her partner tonight, but more underhanded ones as well, in eliminating her two sisters, May and Marie when they least expected it!” Early said.

“But strategies like that worked for her, because Lee ended up being one of the final three women in the match!” Shake informed.

“Heavy In Your Arms” by Florence & The Machine played as Sora ran onto the stage, raising the Women’s Championship belt above her head and towards the crowd, who cheered her on.

“From Tokyo, Japan, she is the XCW Women’s Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

“Now what in the hell was Mario thinking just now, telling Tai and Sora they weren’t on his level?” Early asked. “How dare he throw his weight around the locker room, and talk down to people like that!”

“He’s our first World Heavyweight Champion, Early!” Shake answered. “He believes he’s earned that right.”

Sora strode down the ramp, stopping at the end of it to look up at Hotsuma and Lee Kanker.

“This Fire Burns” by Killswitch Engage played as Tai Kamiya ran onto the stage raising the Television Championship above his head and towards the crowd, who cheered him.

“And her partner, from Tokyo, Japan, he is the Television Champion. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

Tai strode down the ramp and upon reaching the foot of the ramp, he and Sora slid into the ring, climb edon opposite turnbuckles and raised their titles toward the crowd. They stepped off the turnbuckles and both teams got into their corners. 

The bell rang and the match started off with Sora against Lee. They both got into a tie-up, and Lee pushed Sora into an empty corner, and hit her with multiple chops. Sora managed to block one and hit Lee with a right hand. Sora went for another right hand but Lee took down Sora with a drop toe hold. Lee started to put Sora in a submission hold but she fought out of it, kicking Lee towards the ropes. Sora got back up and Irish whipped Lee towards the other side of the ropes, and on the bounce back, hit a fireman’s carry onto Lee! Lee then ran to her corner and tagged in Hotsuma, who stepped toward Sora but the referee signaled her that she had to make a tag.

“Sorry, Sora, you’re eager, but you’re not allowed to fight against the men.” Shake said, as Sora tagged in her husband.

Tai entered the ring by jumping over the ropes. He and Hostuma got into a tie up but Hotsuma broke out of it by slapping Tai in the chest with a thunderous chop! Hotsuma continued to hit Tai with chop after chop until he was backed up into an empty corner. Tai then hit Hotsuma with a right hand, and got onto the second turnbuckle and connected with a quick missile dropkick! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . . Hotsuma kicked out. 

Tai picked Hotsuma up to his feet and hit him with chops of his own until Hotsuma blocked one, and Irish whipped Tai out of the ring. Hotsuma and Tai traded chops until Hotsuma Irish whipped him into the steel steps by Tai’s corner. Hotsuma ran towards Tai in an attempt to hit him with a knee to the face but out of nowhere Sora flew off the top rope, nailing Hotsuma with a Diving Crossbody! 

“WOW!” Shake screamed in amazement.

“Sora, Tai and Hotsuma are all down!” Early said. “Who’s going to the Supershow?”

Lee got into the ring, ran across it and slid out of it on the other side to meet Sora who rose back up to her feet. Lee Irish whipped Sora against the ring apron, then knocked her down with a clothesline while Tai and Hotsuma slowly rose up to their feet and slid back into the ring before the referee’s count reached 7. 

Hotsuma furiously chopped Tai again, until he was down to one knee. Then Hotsuma slammed Tai down with a Scoop Slam! Hotsuma then put Tai into a Boston Crab!

“Hotsuma working on Tai’s lower back now. . .” Shake said.

“Just non-stop pain!” Early said. “Can Tai get to the ropes?”

In agonizing pain, Tai reached for the ropes, crawling closer and closer to them until after a minute, finally grabbed onto the bottom rope, but Hotsuma didn’t let go until the referee got to four on the five count. Hotsuma grabbed Tai’s legs in going for the Boston Crab again, but Tai kicked Hotsuma away from him, got back up by grabbing onto the ropes, and landed an Enziguri Kick onto Hotsuma! Tai crawled toward Sora for the hot tag but Hotsuma grabbed onto Tai’s leg from behind and pulled him away! Tai turned around and countered out of Hotsuma’s hold by hitting him with a jawbreaker! Both men crawled to their corners to make a tag.

“What technical ability by Tai!” Shake said.

“Both men are down and looking to make a tag!” Early said.

Sora slapped her hand down on the top turnbuckle in her corner in anticipation for a tag. Tai and Hotsuma made the tags to Sora and Lee simultaneously, and upon running into each other, got into a tie-up. Lee tied Sora up into a waist-lock but Sora countered it into a waist-lock of her own, and nailed Lee with three German suplexes! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma broke up the 3 count, upon which the referee ordered Hotsuma to get back into his corner. Hotsuma argued with the referee until from out of nowhere Tai hit him with a Diving Leg Drop! Meanwhile, Lee picked Sora up on her shoulders to set her up for a Kanker Sore (Go To Sleep), but Sora countered it into a Soracanrana! Sora then climbed up to the top rope of her corner, while Tai climbed up onto the opposite corner. At the same time, Tai connected with a Tai Dive onto Hotsuma, while Sora nailed Lee with a Shooting Star Press!!!

Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!!!!

“Here are your winners, Tai Kamiya, and Sora Takenouchi!!!”

The bell rang and the referee raised Tai and Sora’s hands in victory! Afterwards, they passionately kissed and then climbed up opposite turnbuckles and raised their hands towards the fans.

“And Tai and Sora win convincingly over Hotsuma and Lee!” Early exclaimed. “They’re going to the Supershow!!!”

“How much air do you think Sora got on that Shooting Star Press?” Shake asked.

“It was a lot of air, Shake!” Early said. “But if Tai and Sora weren’t on Mario’s level before, they’re on his level now!”

“What a pair of high-flyers!” Shake said. “The Supershow’s gonna be fun to watch!”

Backstage, Claude Speed strode down the hallway with the Hardcore title belt and his broken 2x4 in hand until Squidward walked up to him with a microphone.

“Claude---“ Squidward tried to say until Claude put his hand out in front of him.

“Not now, please. . .” Claude said, stopping to catch his breath.

Squidward continued to speak. “I just wanted to tell you congratulations, not only on successfully defending your Hardcore championship for the first time under the 24/7 rule, but also because I have just been informed by Space Ghost that from your in-ring efforts this week and last, you will be a part of XCW’s entry into the CWF Supershow, representing us as the Hardcore Champion!” 

“Are you serious?” Claude asked in surprise, “That’s great! Space Ghost redeemed himself!”

“Do you have anything to say?” Squidward asked.

“Yes I do!” Claude turned to face the audience. “Let this be a message to everyone in the Super---“

A foot came into frame and nailed Claude in the face, knocking him out cold! Squidward looked to his left to reveal that Spike kicked him with the Real Folk Blues! Spike called for the referee next to him to make the count before he covered Claude.

1.. .2. . .3!!!

The referee handed the Hardcore Championship belt to Spike.

“Congratulations, Spike, you are the new Hardcore Champion!”

“YES!!!” Spike exclaimed, raising the belt above his head before running into a garage.

“I don’t believe it!” Early said. “Spike just won the Hardcore Championship!”

“And took Claude’s place in the Supershow!”

Squidward and an EMT looked at Claude, who was still knocked out as the show faded out into a commercial.

Space Ghost sat at his desk with a cell phone to his ear.

“Yes. Yes, Spike, you’re in the Supershow as the Hardcore Champion.”

Someone knocked on the door from the outside while Space Ghost paused.

“Come in!” Space Ghost said.

The door opened and Ren and Stimpy walked in, wearing the tag title belts around their waists.

“But you’re facing Tommy next week. Okay, good-bye.”

Space Ghost hung up the phone and faced Ren and Stimpy.

“What can I do for you two?”

“We’re here to find out why we’re not on the card tonight!” Ren asserted.

“Or why we’re not going to the Supershow!” Stimpy added.

“What’s the deal man?” Ren asked. “We’re XCW’s first ever tag team champions! Does that not mean anything to anyone anymore?”

Space Ghost looked away from Ren and Stimpy, muttering “Well. . .” under his breath.

“Look man. . .” Ren said, getting into Space Ghost’s face. “. . .we can bring tag team wrestling back into the limelight. Just let us show it!”

“Alright, guys, I can’t promise I’ll get you into the Supershow.” Space Ghost said sadly. “The talent pool from each company is going to be huge. But next week, I will guarantee a spot on the card for both you. Next week, you two will be in a match against another team aching for a spot on the card! The team of Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd!”

Ren smiled, satisfied. “Thank you Space Ghost!”

“You won’t regret this!” Stimpy said.

Ren and Stimpy began to leave as Space Ghost put his hand up, pointing at them.

“AND. . .you two put will the titles on the line!”

“Ask and you shall receive. . .with a twist!” Shake commented.

“Will Bugs gain tonight a similar opportunity his long time rivals already have?” Early wondered.

“What’s Up, Doc?” followed by “Buggin’” by Bugs Bunny played as Bugs walked down the ramp, his attention focused on the ring as the bell rang.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is tonight’s XCW Main Event! Introducing first, from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“This match tonight stemmed from the events of Mario’s world championship celebration, when Bugs came out and told Mario to his face that he wasn’t qualified to win that belt.” Early said. “Mario fired back; calling Bugs and the rest of the Looney Tunes obsolete! Mario would then demand that Bugs prove his relevance in a match against his brother, Luigi. If Bugs wins, he gets a shot at the XCW World Championship at Whiplash. If he loses, he moves to the back of the line.”

“Teen Beat Ocean” by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage raising a peace sign above his head, towards the ring.

“And his opponent, from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .LUIGI!!!”

“Is Luigi the right man for Bugs to face to prove his relevance?” Shake asked. “You did say last week that Luigi has been playing second fiddle to his brother for his entire life.”

“That I did, and I’m sticking to it.” Early said. “But nowadays, Mario seems to not only have faith in his brother, but also believe that Luigi is just like him. We’ll find out if that’s the case right now!”

The bell rang and the match started with Bugs and Luigi in a tie-up. Bugs lifted Luigi up for a suplex, but Luigi countered it into a fireman’s carry. Luigi put Bugs in a headlock as he was laid out on the mat, and lifted him up for a neckbreaker. Bugs countered and Irish whipped Luigi towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Bugs picked Luigi up and hit him with a Scoop Slam. Bugs stepped over to the turnbuckle but Luigi got up, put Bugs in a waist-lock and raked his back. Bugs turned around in pain then Luigi backed him up in the corner. Luigi hit Bugs with chop after chop until he fell into a seated position in the corner. Luigi screamed “Yeah!” to the crowd and raised the peace sign above his head. The crowd booed at this as Luigi backed up all the way to the opposite corner.

Luigi darted at Bugs and hit him with a knee to the head! Luigi covered Bugs with a hook to the leg. 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out! 

Luigi picked Bugs up and put him in a headlock. He took Bugs down with a snapmare then ran against the ropes and kneed Bugs in the back of the head. Luigi went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!!!

“How is Bugs staying up after all those shots to the head?” Shake asked.

“Bugs is a tough one!” Early answered.

Luigi picked Bugs up and went for a Facebuster but Bugs pushed him away and hit Luigi with a suplex! Bugs lifted Luigi up for another suplex but Luigi countered out of it and locked Bugs into an STF! 

“Now Luigi’s got Bugs in the STF!” Early observed. “From all the pain Bugs has received towards his head, will he tap out?”

The referee asked Bugs if he was gonna tap, but Bugs shook his head no. He crawled slowly towards the ropes while Luigi yelled “COME ON!” to him, at one point even yelling “Come on, you antique!”. Bugs reached for the ropes. . .he was so close. . .and grabbed onto the bottom rope. The referee ordered Luigi to let go of the hold, and began the count to five. Luigi let go at four, and pulled Bugs back to the center of the ring. He tried to apply the STF again, but Bugs headbutted Luigi off of him! Bugs got up and hit Luigi with a right hand, knocking him down! Bugs taunted Luigi to get up then hit him with another right hand! Luigi got up only for Bugs to pick him up and hit him with a belly-to-belly takedown. Bugs then climbed up to the top rope, slapped his elbow three times, and hit Luigi with the Acme Elbow Drop!

“Right to the heart!” Early said, as Bugs went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out! 

Bugs picked Luigi up and ent to hit him with another right hand but Luigi poked Bugs in the eye with his thumb before hitting Bugs with a European uppercut. Luigi slid out of the ring and grabs a steel chair.

“Oh come on!” Early said in disgust. “He knows he can’t beat Bugs!”

Luigi slid back into the ring with the chair but the referee grabbed a hold of it. However, Luigi punched the chair, sending it into the referee’s head, and knocking him down! Luigi held the chair ready to strike as Bugs got up and turned around. . .only to be met with a chair shot!!!

“NO! NOT THIS WAY!! NOT THIS WAY!!!” Early screamed!

Luigi pushed the chair out of the ring and covered Bugs with a hook to the leg as the referee got up.

1\. . .

2\. . . .

Bugs kicked out! Luigi couldn’t believe it!

Luigi taunted for Bugs to get up again. He did, and Luigi hit Bugs with a Gory Bob-Omb! (Gory Bomb) Luigi stepped towards and got on the top turnbuckle, taunting the crowd on the way up. He went for the Super Mario Splash but Bugs stood up and hit a Big Boot onto Luigi in mid-air!

“NO WAY!!!” screamed Early!

“BUGS GOT HIM!!!” Shake said.

Bugs taunted for Luigi to get up. He slowly rose up to his feet in a daze. Bugs then lifted Luigi up and slammed him down with a Bunny Bomb!

Bugs covered Luigi 1. . .2. . .3!!!

The bell rang as Bugs got up and screamed in intensity as the referee raised his hand in victory.

“BUGS DID IT!!!” Shake said, as Plankton made the announcement!

“Here is your winner. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

Bugs stepped onto the top turnbuckle and raised his fists towards the fans.

“Bugs is going into Whiplash as the number one contender for the XCW Heavyweight Championship of the World!!” Early said, as Bugs turned to look at the stage to see Mario walking out onto it!

Mario raised the World Heavyweight Championship belt high above his head as a message to Bugs. Bugs started Mario down from the ring as Massacre went off the air!

Results

Garfield defeated Samurai Jack  
Claude Speed defeated Spike Spiegel  
Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi defeated Hotsuma and Lee Kanker  
Bugs Bunny defeated Luigi (Won Number One Contendership for XCW World Title)


	3. XCW Massacre: January Week 3

Ok guys, here’s another chapter of XCW Massacre! I only own my championships. 

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“XCW’s entry in the CWF Supershow is set, and so is the main event for Whiplash! What’s gonna happen as the date of our first pay-per-view gets closer? Welcome to Massacre, ladies and gentlemen! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside here in , and tonight Shake, we’ve got ourselves a hell of a lineup!”

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Shake agreed. “Tonight we have our XCW Tag Team Champions, Ren and Stimpy, defending their titles against our number one contender’s long time rivals, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd!”

“Don’t forget our blockbuster main event!” Early added. “A Champion vs. Champion match, featuring two of XCW’s entries in the CWF Supershow! Our World Heavyweight Champion, Mario, squares off against the Television Champion, Tai!”

“It’s gonna be a good time!” Shake said in excitement.

“Wayfarer” by Kavinsky played as Tommy Vercetti rode down the ramp in a motorcycle to cheers from the crowd.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Vice City, Florida. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

“But we start off tonight with Tommy Vercetti avenging his friend, Claude Speed, who lost the Hardcore Championship to Spike Spiegel, as a part of the new 24/7 rule!” Early said, informing the audience.

“Claude had beaten Spike in a hard fought singles match last week, only for Spike’s buddy Jet Black to try to take advantage of him being exhausted.” Shake said. “Claude escaped successfully, only to receive Real Folk Blues out of nowhere while he was being interviewed!”

“And Tommy’s here for retribution on behalf of Claude!” Early said.

“Tank!” by The Seatbelts played as Spike Spiegel walked down the ramp with a cigarette in his mouth, and the Hardcore championship around his waist to a mixed reaction.

“And his opponent, from Planet Mars, he is the XCW Hardcore Champion. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

“Now ladies and gentlemen, here are XCW’s official entrants in the CWF Supershow: the XCW World Champion, Mario; the Television Champion, Tai, and his wife Sora, the Women’s Champion. But the final entrant was supposed to be Claude Speed, the former Hardcore Champion, until that man entering the ring right now, Spike Spiegel, took advantage of the 24/7 rule implemented by our General Manager, Space Ghost.” Early said.

“Like it or not, Early, Spike is our Hardcore Champion, and will represent our company proud in the Supershow!” Shake exclaimed.

“How do you know that, Shake?” asked Early. “This man wasn’t in the Hardcore Battle Royal two weeks ago, he wasn’t one of the eleven champions in ten minutes!”

“Well, we’ll see what he can do at the Supershow.” Shake answered.

Spike ered the ring as the bell rang. Tommy ran toward Spike and hit him with a fury of punches. Tommy got up and stomped on Spike multiple times, backing him into the corner in the process. Tommy stepped towards the opposite corner, raising a fist in the air. He turned around and ran toward Spike and nailed him with a running knee to the face! Tommy grabbed Spike by the legs and drug him to the center of the ring.

Tommy covered Spike 1. . .2. . . .Spike kicked out!

Tommy ran against the ropes and ran back towards Spike’s prone body, hitting him with a Falling Elbow.

“Good God, Tommy is just beating the snot out of Spike!” Early said as he called the match.

Tommy grabbed Spike’s legs and went for a kick to the groin, but Spike counted by hitting Tommy in the face with his foot! Spike got back up to his feet and picked up Tommy’s leg, hitting him with a knee smash. Tommy clenched his knee in pain as Spike sat above him and nailed him with right hands of his own! Spike pulled Tommy up to his feet and Irish whipped him towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Spike went for Real Folk Blues but Tommy dodged it and hit Spike with a Back Drop. 

Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out!

Tommy waited for Spike to get up then hit him with a bulldog. Tommy stomped on his body more until Spike grabbed a leg of his and threw him down to the ground! Spike grabbed Tommy’s legs and locked him into a Figure 4 Leg Lock! Tommy screamed in pain as the referee asked him if he wanted to give up. Tommy shook his head no and inched closer to the ropes. Tommy rested his shoulders on the mat, which the referee recognized as a pin fall! 

The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Tommy got up, and crawled closer to the ropes! He grabbed the bottom rope and Spike let go of the hold. Spike drug Tommy by the legs to the middle of the ring and made the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!

Frustrated, Spike got up and moved over to a corner. Spike stomped on his right foot three times, a la Shawn Michaels. Tommy rose to his feet and Spike went for Real Folk Blues, but Tommy grabbed Spike’s leg, let go of it and nailed Spike with a Lou Thesz Press! Tommy hammered away on Spike’s head with right hand after right hand! Tommy picked Spike up and tied him up in going for the Vercetti Driver, but Spike hit Tommy with a low blow! As Tommy writhed in pain, Spike nailed Tommy in the face with Real Folk Blues! 

Spike went for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!!!

As the bell rang, Spike got up and the referee raised his hand and gave him the Hardcore title belt in victory.

“Here is your winner. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

Spike left the ring with a smug look on his face as Tommy rose onto his knees, clenching his head in pain and staring at Spike in anger. Spike taunted Tommy as he walked up the ramp backwards and went to light another cigarette. Once he reached the stage, suddenly, with a weapon in hand, Claude Speed and a referee ran onto it towards him! 

“My God!” Early said in shock! “Claude exacting revenge after last week with a 2x4!”

“That’s not just a 2x4. . .” Shake observed, “. . .that’s a 2x4 WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE!!!”

Claude nailed Spike in the back with the 2x4!!! Claude slowly stepped in front of Spike, who was on his knees. Claude raised the barbed-wire wrapped 2x4 like a baseball bat but instead kneed him in the head! 

Claude went for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!!!

“And Claude’s got the Hardcore title AND his spot in the CWF Supershow back!” Early said.

“I can’t believe it!” Shake said as the referee gave Claude the Hardcore Championship belt, with the crowd cheering loudly!

“Congratulations, Claude Speed, you are the new Hardcore Champion!”

Claude grabbed the belt and strode to the ring with a stoic expression while the referee tended to Spike. Claude grabbed a microphone and entered the ring as he began to speak.

“I’m sending a message not only to you, Spike. . .not only to you, Jet Black, not only to the entire XCW locker room, but also all the entrants from CASZ, WWE:Animated, WWT, VGWA, DCA, and especially CWF! If anyone feels brave enough to fight me for this title, whether it be in the ring, the back, my locker room, the Krusty Krab, a shopping mall, ANYWHERE. . .come at me!!!”

Shake’s eyes widened in shock! “WHAT?”

“I can’t believe this!” Early said.

Meanwhile on the ramp, a referee and EMTs carried Spike to the back. Claude waited for the crowd’s cheers to subside before continuing to speak.

“What happened last week was a complete fluke! As a man from the tough streets of Liberty City, I’ve come to live with the instinct that a fight can break out anywhere, anytime, any place. So I’m issuing the challenge now: If anyone at the Supershow wants a piece of me and my Hardcore title, you will be met with my fists, you will be met with my fury, and you will be met with my new weapon of choice!”

Claude raised the barbed wire 2x4 above his head and dropped the microphone. He left the ring with Tommy, raising the Hardcore title and his barbed-wire 2x4 above his head.

“Claude issuing an open challenge for the XCW Hardcore title at the Supershow!” Early said.

“I fear for anyone who tries to cross Claude’s path again, now that his 2x4 is insured!” Shake said.

(Backstage)

Tai and Sora sat on folding chairs in their locker room as they watched Claude’s actions.

“What’s the over/under on challengers Claude gets at the Supershow?” Tai asked his wife.

Sora sat in thought for a brief second. “I say five. You?”

“Six.” Tai replied. “Want to bet dinner on it?”

Sora giggled. “Oh, you!”

Tai and Sora leaned in for a kiss until someone knocked on the door from the outside. Tai let out an annoyed sigh.

“Come in!”

The door opened and Mario stepped in to boos from the crowd.

“Oh, it’s you.” Tai said. “Have you come to apologize for last week?”

“Actually, I came to tell your wife that my wife, Peach, is in a number one contenders match tonight, with the winner getting a shot at the Women’s Championship at Whiplash.” Mario said. “So enjoy holding that belt while you can, because come Whiplash, that belt will be around the waist of my wife!”

Tai chuckled to himself. “So she told you, the XCW Heavyweight Champion of the World, to warn Sora, her possible opponent?”

“Yeah!” Sora said. “Who wears the pants in your relationship?”

“Hey!” Mario exclaimed. “I’m defending my wife’s honor on her behalf! Something you will fail to do after I beat you tonight, and prove to the world that I am a champion at life!”

“We’ll see about that!” Tai said to Mario, who was backing out of the room.

“Yes we will. . .” Mario said before he exited the room and shut the door. Tai and Sora turned their attention back to the television as Massacre went to a commercial break.

Back in the ring, generic aggressive rock music plays as Jimmy stood in the ring to boos from the crowd.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Peach Creek. . .JIMMY!!!”

“We’re back live here on Massacre as we prepare to see Jimmy in action and Shake, the war of words continues between Mario and Tai and Sora!” Early said.

“Can you blame him?” Shake asked. “They’re both in the Supershow together and Mario wants to prove that he is the true star of this company!”

“Well at any rate, Jimmy from Peach Creek is in the ring ready to compete---“ Early said, until. . .

“Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played! Jimmy’s face froze in fear as Garfield and Jon Arbuckle walked down the ramp, with Jon coaching Garfield, whose focus remained only on the ring. 

“Oh. My. God.” Shake said in disbelief.

“Uhhh. . . .Jimmy, you might want to start working on your will.” Early said.

“And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle, from Chicago, Illinois. . .GARFIELD!!!”

Garfield stepped over all three ropes and stood across from Jimmy at the center of the ring.

“I spoke with Jon Arbuckle earlier today, Shake, and he told me that despite the win last week, Garfield is still angry because he’s not going to the CWF Supershow, and that he’ll take out his aggression on his opponent tonight!” Early spoke.

“Oh God, if Samurai Jack couldn’t put up a fight against this monster last week, Jimmy’s gonna be a sitting duck!” Shake said.

The bell ran and Jimmy just stared up at Garfield. Jimmy chopped Garfield but Garfield didn’t react at all. Garfield grabbed Jimmy by the face and threw him into the corner. Garfield stepped to the opposite corner. Garfield ran towards Jimmy and nailed a corner splash, smothering Jimmy completely! Garfield then stepped on Jimmy’s chest with a giant foot and pushed down on the ropes to assert more pressure! Jimmy coughed and screamed in pain!

“This is too much!” Early said in disgust. “His foot is almost 1/2 the size of Jimmy’s body, for God’s sake!”

The referee started the five count but Garfield got off Jimmy at four. Garfield then picked Jimmy up and Irish whipped him towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Garfield picked Jimmy off his feet and nailed him with a Samoan Drop!

“I don’t know if I can even imagine all that weight slamming down on someone like that!” Shake said.

Garfield picked Jimmy up off the mat by the throat and raised him high above his head, then slammed him down with a Chokeslam! Garfield picked Jimmy up by the head and Irish whipped his limp body towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Garfield picked Jimmy up and put him in a Cathug! Jimmy’s eyes rolled back into his head as the referee called for the bell, but Garfield refused to let go.

“Just end it, ref! End this madness!” pleaded Early!

“Here is your winner. . . GARFIELD!!!”

The referee yelled at Garfield, who then dropped Jimmy’s prone body down to the mat. Multiple referees slid into the ring and tended to Jimmy as Garfield roared to the crowd. Jon pointed at Garfield and said “You CAN’T touch this man!!!” Garfield stepped over the ropes and he and Jon walked to the back as Jimmy’s body quivered in pain.

“I think I know why Garfield wasn’t picked to be in the Supershow.” Shake said.

“Why’s that, Shake?” Early asked.

“For the health and safety of the competition!”

Meanwhile, in an office, Space Ghost sat at his desk, writing in a folder as someone knocked on the door from the outside.

“Come in.” Space Ghost said, a bit annoyed.

The door opened and Bugs Bunny walked into the office to cheers from the crowd.

“Eh, what’s up, Doc?” Bugs asked.

“This is what’s up.” Space Ghost vented. “Claude Speed’s the new Hardcore Champion and earlier he issued an open challenge to every competitor in every league during the Supershow!”

“Can he do that?” Bugs asked.

“I don’t know!” cried Space Ghost. “On one hand, I haven’t received the tentative card but on the other hand it’s our show, and he has no permission to issue challenges to the other companies!”

“Eh, it’ll all work out. All the owners seem to be nice.” Bugs assured.

“Well I don’t care if it does or if it doesn’t, Claude’s getting what’s coming for him! At Whiplash, it’ll be him versus Spike Spiegel for the Hardcore Championship!”

“Gee, Mac, that sounds like a plan, but what did you want to see me for?” Bugs asked.

“Oh, right!” Space Ghost said, getting back on track. “I’m sorry. Now, I couldn’t get around to it last week because I was working things out for the Supershow, but your actions last week during Mario’s championship celebration were absolutely disrespectful and abhorable.”  
“I thought about stripping you of your number one contendership, but I won’t do that. You earned it outright last week. But what I will do is ban you from ringside in both the Tag title match, and the Champion vs. Champion main event tonight.”

“That’s it?” Bugs asked.

Space Ghost nodded his head. “Yes. But don’t think I won’t do anything less if you do interfere! Thank you, Bugs.”

Bugs got up to leave the office before Space Ghost started to speak again.

“By the way, Bugs. . .is there any friction between you and Daffy at all?”

“Nah, our last big fight was a long time ago so the hatchet’s been buried for a while. . .why do you ask?” Bugs wondered, as Space Ghost’s cell phone rang.

“No reason---I’m sorry, I have to take this.” Space Ghost said before he answered his phone, leaving Bugs perplexed as Massacre went to a commercial break.

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the XCW Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, from New York City, New York, the team of ELMER FUDD AND DAFFY DUCK!!!”

“Wabbit” by Misshin played as Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd strode down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“We’re back live here on Massacre ready for a Tag Team Championship match, but Shake, there’s really no reason for Bugs to be banned from ringside during the main event tonight!” Early said. “Sure, he interrupted the ceremony last week, but Mario threw the first punch!”

All the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by “YOU EEEDIOT!!!” followed by Scott Steiner’s TNA music played, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walked onto the stage and down the ramp to a standing ovation, with the Tag title belts around their waist.

“And their opponents, from Hollywood, Yugoslavia, they are the XCW Tag Team Champions. . .REN AND STIMPY!!!”

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Shake agreed. “Something’s not right here. . .”

The bell rang and the match began with Ren facing off against Daffy. Ren and Daffy got into a tie-up, and Ren turned it into a waist-lock on Daffy, then hit him in the back of the head with a forearm smash. Ren went for a bulldog but Daffy blocked it, and hit Ren with a belly-to-belly suplex. Daffy and Ren got into another tie up and Daffy pushed him into his corner. After hitting Ren with a few chops, Daffy tagged in Elmer, and they both stomped on Ren, who fell seated into their corner.

“Here comes Elmer into the match.” Early called. “Elmer himself was a former announcer, even a former broadcast partner with Bugs himself!”

“Like his old rival, Elmer has made the transition from announcer to wrestler well!” Shake said.

Elmer Irish whipped Ren against the ropes and hit him with a sidewalk slam on the bounceback. Elmer went for the cover 1. . . .2. . .Ren kicked out. Elmer picked Ren up but Ren hit him with a few right hands, then took him down with a dropkick. Ren put Elmer in a headlock and drug him into his corner. Ren tagged in Stimpy and Irish whipped Elmer towards the ropes on the right side of the ring. On the bounceback, Ren and Stimpy hit him with a double spinebuster! Stimpy went for the cover 1. . .2. . . .Elmer kicked out. Stimpy picked Elmer up to his feet and put him in an armlock, then nailed him with a headbutt. Stimpy Irish whipped Elmer against the ropes and went for a crossbody but Elmer caught him and slammed him to the mat with a Scoop Slam.

Elmer ran against the ropes and hit Stimpy with a Falling Elbow. He went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicked out. Elmer Irish whipped Stimpy against the ropes, and on the bounceback Elmer locked him into a Sleeper Hold! Stimpy fought the hold until he fell to one knee. The referee raised his hand once. . .twice. . .started to raise it for a third time until Ren nailed Elmer with a Flying Clothesline, breaking the hold! Daffy jumped over the ropes and aimed for a Spear on Ren, but Ren moved out of the way and Daffy fell out of the ring. Meanwhile, Elmer went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicked out! 

Elmer brought Stimpy back up to his feet and picked him up for a Hunter Slam (Alabama Slam), but Stimpy fought out of it and picked Elmer up for a Scoop Slam! Stimpy then yelled at the crowd and they cheered back as Ren climbed up to the top of a corner turnbuckle and Stimpy grabbed Elmer’s feet, spreading them wide so Elmer’s groin faced Ren in the corner. Stimpy yelled “WASSSUPPP????” to Ren, who yelled it back then jumped off the turnbuckle, nailing Elmer with a headbutt to the groin! Elmer rolled over to his corner and tagged in Daffy, who ran towards Ren only to be immediately met with an R&S Death Drop! Ren went for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!!!

As the bell rang, Ren and Stimpy collected their belts and the referee raised their hands in victory.

“Here are your winners, and still the XCW Tag Team Champions. . .REN AND STIMPY!!!”

Ren and Stimpy left the ring and walked up the ramp. As Daffy and Elmer started to leave, suddenly Mario appeared on the titantron.

“Oh, so close, but no cigar.” Mario said, taunting Daffy and Elmer. “What we all just saw was proof that you two are just like Bugs. Out of luck, out of tune, out of time. Just wait, when I beat Bugs at Whiplash and retain my XCW World Championship, I’m gonna knock him back into the good ‘ol days of animation where he belongs!”

Daffy and Elmer looked at the titantron, unaware that Luigi and Wario had jumped over the barricade from the crowd, and slid into the ring behind them with steel chairs in hand!

“You guys want to meet him there, and start your careers all over again?” Mario asked. “There’s a couple guys behind you that can take you there right now!”

Daffy and Elmer turned around and received chair shots to the face from Luigi and Wario!

“What the hell is this???” Shake asked in shock!

“Daffy and Elmer are being manhandled by Mario’s brother and henchman!” Early responded. “Damn it! It was a setup the whole time, planned by Mario and Space Ghost!”

Wario and Luigi continued to hit Daffy and Elmer with the chairs. Luigi picked Daffy up, and Wario picked Elmer up, and they nailed them with a Gory Bomb and a Piledriver on the chairs simultaneously! Luigi and Wario raised their fists above their heads in triumph as the show went to a commercial break.

In Space Ghost’s office, Space Ghost sat at his desk on his cell phone.

“So he’s in as well?” Space Ghost asked. “Great! I’ll see you at the Supershow.”

Bugs stormed into the office in rage as Space Ghost hung up the phone.

“Bugs, I have good news---“ Space Ghost said until Bugs interrupted him. “Are you and Mario working together?”

“What are you talking about?” Space Ghost asked.

“You banned me from ringside to leave Daffy and Elmer to be attacked, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?” Bugs yelled.

“Alright, you know what? I did!” Space Ghost admitted. “And let me tell you why: Mario is the greatest World Heavyweight Champion in all of animated wrestling, and it is in the best interests of Mario, the company, and myself that he must go into the Supershow on an unstoppable run to prove so! And if anyone tries to stop him, Luigi and Wario will clear the path.”

“If you two have an attack planned for Tai and Sora tonight during the main event, this time, I’ll be there to stop it!” Bugs guaranteed.

“You might want to rethink that because I just got off the phone with Supershow executives, and was able to put you on it as well!” Space Ghost said. “But if you interfere in the main event tonight, consider yourself off the card!”

Bugs gave Space Ghost an angry stare before storming out of the office.

“All that for the Supershow?” Early said. “Space Ghost is taking this too far!”

“The following Number One Contenders match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .PEACH!!!”

“Brackish” by Kittie played as Peach blew kissed to the crowd, who booed her immensely.

“At any rate, Peach, our World Heavyweight Champion’s wife, has an opportunity to face Sora for the Women’s Championship at Whiplash.” Early informed. “But she has to get through Yuna first!”

“Simple and Clean” by Utada Hikaru played as Yuna strutted down the ramp to cheers from the crowd. 

“And her opponent, from Besaid. . .YUNA!!!”  
“Yuna was one of the competitors that was eliminated early in the Over-The-Top Rope Battle Royal to crown our first champion a few weeks back, but now, like Peach, has an opportunity to rise up the ranks in the Women’s Division!” Early said.

“If you ask me, she leads the division in sex appeal!” Shake said as he ogled Yuna.

The bell rang and the match started with Peach and Yuna getting into a tie-up. Yuna pushed Peach into the corner and hit her with right hands to the face until Peach grabbed her by the hair and took her down with a snapmare. Peach hit Yuna with a standing dropkick then went into the cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out.

Peach picked Yuna up to her feet and Irish whipped her towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Peach tackled Yuna and hit her with slap after slap until Yuna turned her over on her back and hit her with various right hands. Peach headbutted Yuna off her, then got up and hit her with a bulldog. Peach went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out.

Peach knelt over Yuna and locked her in an abdominal stretch. Yuna screamed in pain as Peach clenched tighter on the hold. The referee asked Yuna if she wanted to give up but Yuna shook her head no before rolling Peach on her back and out of the hold! Yuna got up to her feet while Peach did the same, but slower. Yuna bounced off the ropes and hit Peach with a Shining Wizard kick! Yuna went for the cover 1. . 2. . .Peach kicked out.

Yuna picked Peach up and hit her with a kick to the gut. Yuna went for a Hurricanrana but Peach started to counter it into a powerbomb, only for Yuna to counter it into a tornado DDT! Yuna ran off the ropes again and hit Peach with a diving spear! Yuna went for the cover while Daisy an down the ramp, and onto the ring apron!

“What the hell is Daisy doing out here?” Early wondered.

“Is she aligned with Mario too?” Shake asked.

Daisy argued with the referee on the ring apron while Yuna let go of the cover. She ran towards Daisy and knocked her down to the floor. Yuna turned around back to Peach who hit her with a neckbreaker! Peach went up to the top rope and landed a Peach Press (Top Rope Splash) onto Yuna!

Peach went for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!!!

“Damn it! Mario and his crew want it all here in XCW!” Early said in anger.

“Here is your winner. . .PEACH!!!”

Peach rolled out of the ring and celebrated with Daisy as they walked up the ramp. While selling her neck, Yuna stared Daisy down as she and Peach taunted her.

“How far will Mario and his cohorts go to take over all of XCW?” Early asked.

In the backstage area, Ren and Stimpy strode down a hallway when Space Ghost caught up to them.

“Ren! Stimpy!” Space Ghost called out.

“Yes sir?” Ren asked, as he and Stimpy turned around.

“I have two pieces of good news for both of you!” Space Ghost said. “First, you both asked last week if you could be in the Supershow. Well I pulled some strings and managed to get you two and a few other wrestlers in!”

“Oh joy!” Stimpy exclaimed as he jumped up and down in excitement.

“I like, I like!” Ren said as he rubbed his hands together. “Now what’s the second good news?”

“The second good news; I thought about what you two said last week about bringing tag team competition back into the limelight, and tonight saw the emergence of a new team that proved tonight that they will make our tag team division relevant and exciting. And so I wanted to tell you both that at Whiplash, you will defend the Tag Team championships against this new team.”

“Great!” Ren said. “Who’s the team?”

Space Ghost smirked. “Luigi and Wario!”

Ren and Stimpy looked at each other and mouthed “What?” in confusion.

“I’ll see you guys at the Supershow!” Space Ghost said, as he walked past Ren and Stimpy.

“Yeah, Early, that beatdown Luigi and Wario put on Daffy and Elmer was really something, wasn’t it?” Shake said sarcastically.

“Space Ghost is tied around Mario’s finger tighter than a nun’s---“ Early said, until the show abruptly went back to the ring!

“The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall, and is tonight’s XCW Main Event!”

“This Fire Burns” by Killswitch Engage played as Tai and Sora ran onto the stage, with Tai raising his belt above his head toward the fans, who cheered Tai on.

“Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Sora Takenouchi, from Tokyo, Japan, he is the XCW Television Champion. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

“This match came about when last week, Tai and Sora were being interviewed, until Mario interrupted them and proceeded to throw his weight around the locker room, saying that Tai and Sora aren’t on his level!” Early said as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two turnbuckles to the fans.

“Well now tonight, Tai has the opportunity to prove that he is!” Shake said.

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. With Peach by his side, Mario ran onto the stage raising the World title belt above his head, towards the ring as the crowd booed them.

“And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Peach, from The Mushroom Kingdom, he is the XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .MARIO!!!”

“I cannot believe the power that this man has gained in just a few short weeks!” Early said angrily. “He has an alliance with the General Manager, he got his brother and old rival a Tag Title shot, and his wife a shot at the Women’s title at Whiplash!”

“With the Icon status that Mario has, it’s no wonder Space Ghost has caved in to his demands as our first World Champion!” Shake said.

Mario entered the ring and climbed on top of each turnbuckle, raising the title belt above his head.

“All this chaos, just to make Mario look all-powerful for the Supershow! It’s insane.” Early said, as the bell rang and the match began!

Tai immediately charged toward Mario and hit him with a running clothesline! Mario immediately got up and tied Tai up into a side headlock. Mario lifted Tai up for a fireman’s carry but Tai countered it into a front face lock. Tai lifted Mario up for a suplex but he dropped out of it and put Tai in a waist lock. Mario lifted Tai up for a back drop but he fell out of it and ran against the ropes. On the bounceback, Tai was knocked down by a clothesline from Mario! Tai jumped right back up and came face-to-face with Mario!

“We are at a stand-off!” Early declared!

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “These two are evenly matched!”

Tai and Mario ran into another tie-up and Mario put him in a waist-lock, only for Tai to drive him into a corner and hit him with an elbow. Tai hit Mario with chop after chop in the corner until Mario blocked one and hit Tai with a right hand. Mario picked Tai up and took him down with a back drop. Mario went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out.

Mario picked Tai up and went for a suplex but Tai countered it into a snap suplex of his own! Tai ran against the ropes and hit Mario with Flying Headscissors. Tai went into the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out.

Mario rolled out of the ring. Tai ran against the ropes and nailed Mario with a baseball slide, knocking him against the barricade. Tai picked Mario back up to his feet only for Mario to rake his eyes. Mario then Irish whipped Tai into the steel steps! While Tai laid prone against the steps, Sora ran up to him and asks if he was okay. Mario picked Tai up and yelled an obscenity to Sora. Tai immediately shoved Mario off him and slapped him in the chest with furious chop after chop!

“Tai’s making one thing perfectly clear. . .” Early declared, “Do not insult my wife, or you will feel the consequences!”

Mario managed to block one chop and slam Tai’s face onto the ring apron before pushing Tai back into the ring. Mario hit Tai in the face with an elbow, then slid into the ring and hit Tai in the chest with a couple stomps. Mario raised a peace sign and yelled at the crowd, who booed him back. Mario stepped over Tai and locked him in a Boston Crab. Tai screamed in pain as he inched closer and closer to the ropes as the referee asked him if he wanted to give up. Tai shook his head no until he finally grabbed onto the bottom rope, upon which Mario let go of the hold. Mario turned around and went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!

Mario drug Tai by the feet to the center of the ring and went to put him in the Boston Crab again, only for Tai to kick Mario towards the ropes! Tai went for a Frankensteiner but Mario countered it into a powerbomb. Mario then Irish whipped Tai towards the ropes, and on the bounceback, nailed Tai with three consecutive suplexes! Mario then climbed up the top rope and taunted the crowd. Before he could hit the Super Mario Splash, he looked at the stage and saw Bugs Bunny walking onto it, sitting down in the middle of the ramp.

“Bugs is banned from ringside, but that won’t stop him from coming out on the stage just to watch.” Shake observed.

Mario stared Bugs down, unaware that Tai had gotten up! Tai got onto the top rope and took Mario down with a German suplex! Both men were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the 10 count! When the referee got to five, Tai got up to his feet first while Mario slowly followed him. Tai hit Mario with chop after chop until Mario poked him in the eye. 

Mario then picked Tai up for another suplex only for Tai to counter out of it and hit Mario with a Jawbreaker! Tai sized Mario up as he slowly rose to his feet and hit him with a Frankensteiner! Tai stepped towards the top rope but looked at the ring apron to see Peach arguing with the referee. On the outside, Sora pulled Peach off the apron by the leg and they began to brawl, with the referee trying to break it up. Tai turned around to go back to the turnbuckle only to be hit in the face by Mario with the World Heavyweight title belt! 

The referee came back into the ring and made the count 1. . .2. . .3!!!

“Here is your winner. . .MARIO!!!”

“Damn it! Mario stole the victory!” Early said in disgust.

Mario snatched the World title belt away from the referee and rolled out of the ring to grab a steel chair. Luigi and Wario jumped over the barricade and slid into the ring with steel chairs in hand. Mario came back into the ring and he, Luigi and Wario surrounded Tai as he slowly rose to his feet while Peach put Sora in an abdominal stretch outside the ring.

“Tai is completely surrounded!” Shake observed!

Early looked on in concern. “He’s gonna suffer the same fate of Daffy and Elmer---or maybe not! Here comes Bugs!”

Bugs ran down the ramp and slid into the ring. He charged at Mario only for Mario to hit him with a steel chair shot to the back, knocking him down! Tai started to push himself up only to be knocked back down by a chair shot from Wario! Peach slid into the ring to leave Sora incapacitated on the outside as Mario, Luigi and Wario continued to hit both Tai and Bugs with chair shot after chair shot!

“By God, this is heinous! Somebody stop this!” Early screamed.

After a while Mario, Luigi and Wario dropped their chairs and Mario instructed Luigi to pick Tai up. Luigi did, and took Tai down with a Gory Bob-Omb on the chair! Mario ordered Luigi and Wario to drag Bugs to the center of the ring. 

Mario climbed up to the top rope and nailed Bugs with a Super Mario Splash! Luigi and Wario handed Mario his World Heavyweight Championship belt as he knelt down, looking at Bugs and raising the belt above his head.

“You see this, Bugs?” Mario screamed into Bugs’ face. “YOU’RE! NOT! WORTHY OF THIS!”

Mario stood back up and hit Bugs in the face with a stomp.

“Mario cannot be stopped!” Shake declared!

“What’s gonna happen in 13 days at Whiplash???” Early asked. “What’s gonna happen at the Supershow???”

Mario raised the world title belt above his head and celebrated with Luigi and Wario in the ring as Massacre went off the air!

Results

Spike Spiegel defeated Tommy Vercetti  
Claude Speed defeated Tommy Vercetti (won Hardcore Title)  
Garfield defeated Jimmy  
Ren and Stimpy defeated Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd (retained Tag Team Titles)  
Peach defeated Yuna (wins No. 1 Contendership for Women’s Title)  
Mario defeated Tai


	4. XCW Massacre: January Week 4

Ok guys, here’s another chapter of XCW Massacre! I only own my championships. 

The original ECW theme plays over fireworks going off on the titantron as hundreds of fans cheer and hold up signs of different colors.

“We are just six days away from Whiplash, XCW’s first ever pay-per-view! Will Bugs become the new World Heavyweight Champion, or will the Super Mario Syndicate take over all of XCW? As we get closer and closer to Whiplash and the CWF Supershow, tensions and excitement are running high! Welcome to Massacre, ladies and gentlemen! We come to you live tonight from Metropolis, USA! I’m Early Cuyler, with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight, Shake, we have two matches with huge Whiplash implications!”

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “We’ve got a tag team match with Tommy Vercetti and Claude Speed, who will see his Whiplash opponent, Spike Spiegel, teaming up with Jet Black!”

“And not to mention our main event: Bugs Bunny and Tai will team up to face their respective opponents at Whiplash: the XCW World Heavyweight Champion Mario, and the challenger for the Television title, Luigi!” Early said.

“But we start tonight off with a divas contest!” Shake said.

“Heavy In Your Arms” by Florence & The Machine played as Sora ran onto the stage, raising the Women’s Championship belt above her head and towards the crowd, who cheered her on.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Tokyo, Japan, she is the XCW Women’s Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

“Sora will defend her Women’s Championship against Peach at Whiplash.” Early said. “It came about last week when Peach won a number one contender’s match between her and Yuna.”

Sora climbed onto a turnbuckle and posed, raising the Women’s title belt towards the fans.

“Well, Yuna had the match won until Daisy, another member of Mario’s syndicate, interfered in Peach’s favor!” Shake said.

Aggressive rock music played as Daisy strutted down the ramp to boos from the crowd.

“And her opponent, from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .DAISY!!!”

“Sora vs. Peach wasn’t the only match made for Whiplash after that, Shake!” Early said. “I’ve been told that after her match, Yuna went straight to our General Manager, Space Ghost, and demanded to face Daisy in a match. Space Ghost complied, and made Yuna vs. Daisy for Whiplash as well.”

“It’s funny considering he’s been on the side of the Super Mario Syndicate since the birth of XCW!” Shake said.

“Mario and Space Ghost orchestrated those beatdowns last week only to make Mario look like the most unstoppable world champion in all of animated wrestling!’ Early said.

The bell rang and the match started with Sora and Daisy in a tie-up. Sora put Daisy in a headlock and pushed her into a corner. She hit Daisy with chop after chop until she kneed her in the chest. She put Sora in a wrist lock and took her down with a snapmare, then repeatedly kicked her in the back. Daisy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicks out!

Daisy picked Sora up only to be met with a kick to the gut. Sora then took Daisy down with a neckbreaker. Sora went for the cover 1. . .Daisy kicked out. Before Sora could get up, Daisy rolled her onto her back and hit her with slap after slap only for Sora to roll Daisy onto her back and hit her with a right hand! Sora got off of Daisy, who stood up to her feet and faced her. Sora hit Daisy with chop after chop until she came up against the ropes. Sora Irish whipped Daisy towards the other side of the ropes, and on the bounceback, nailed her with a Flying Headscissors! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daisy kicked out!

“Pure athleticism coming from our Women’s Champion!” Early said.

“You got that right!” Shake said, ogling Sora. “What physique! What a body! What a—“

“Stop it, Shake!”

Sora picked Daisy up to her feet only for Daisy to hit her with a thumb to the eye. Daisy ran off the ropes behind her and hit Sora with a clothesline on the bounceback. Sora got up and was met with another clothesline from Daisy! Daisy bounced off the ropes behind her again and hit Sora with a running moonsault! Daisy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out.

Daisy pulled Sora up by the hair towards the left corner and pulled her up to the top rope. Daisy went for a Jumping Tornado DDT, but Sora pushed her out of her grasp, sending her to the mat below! Sora raised her hands signaling for the Shooting Star Press, but looked to her right to see Peach running down the ramp!

“Damn it! Peach is returning Daisy’s favor last week!” Early said.

“LOOK OUT!” Shake cried suddenly, as Peach ran towards the ring only for Sora to jump off the turnbuckle and hit Peach with a Soracanrana on the outside of the ring! 

Sora slid back into the ring with Daisy running towards her! But Sora moved out of the way and Daisy ran into and bounced off the corner. Sora grabbed Daisy’s feet and sent her face-down to the mat, and locked her into an STF! Daisy screamed in pain until she tapped out!

“Here is your winner. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

After the bell rang, Sora let go of the hold and the referee raised her hand in victory. Daisy rolled out of the ring and Peach helped her walk back up the ramp, as they both looked up at Sora in the ring and taunted her.

“Sora got the best of Peach and Daisy tonight, but what will happen come Sunday?” Early asked.

“Will Daisy get involved?” Shake asked, as the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Space Ghost walked through a hallway on a cellular phone.

“You’ll do it?” As he paused, Space Ghost’s face beamed with excitement. “Great! It’s a pleasure doing business with you!”

Space Ghost walked up to Luigi and Mario, who had the World Heavyweight title belt draped over his shoulder.

“See you at the Supershow!”, Space Ghost said before hanging up the phone and putting it away.

“Ah, there you two are!” Space Ghost said.

“What was that all about, Space Ghost?” asked Mario.

“Well, I just got off the phone with Vince McMahon of WWE: CWA, and he agreed to advertise XCW during his program and pay-per-views! With this deal made, and the Supershow not far away, we’ll be getting viewers by the hundreds in no time!”

“That’s great, Space Ghost!” Mario said. “But now there’s something important we need to discuss!”

“Yeah!” Luigi piped in. “You want to get viewers? Well, I want a shot at the Television Championship at Whiplash! Just imagine both of the Mario Brothers holding the two most prestigious titles this company has! That’ll attract even MORE attention to XCW!”

“Luigi, as much as I want to do that, let’s not get greedy.” Space Ghost said. “You are already in a Tag Team Championship match with Wario---“

“I’ve already taken care of that!” Luigi assured. “There’s a member of the Super Mario Syndicate that has expressed interest in taking my place in the tag title match! He’ll prove himself next in his match against Stimpy.”

“Alright, I’ll watch his match.” Space Ghost complied. “In the meantime, Mario. . .are you ready for the Supershow?”

“Are you kidding me?” Mario said in a cocky tone. “I’m the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, and a champion of life! I was born ready!”

“I expected nothing less!” Space Ghost said, patting his hand on the World title belt.

“Your opponents will bow to you, Mario!” Space Ghost said, walking away from Mario and Luigi, who had smirks on their faces as the show went to a commercial break.

All the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by “YOU EEEDIOT!!!” followed by Scott Steiner’s TNA music played, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walked onto the stage and down the ramp to a standing ovation, with the Tag title belts around their waist.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being accompanied by Ren, from Hollywood, Yugoslavia, he is one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions. . .STIMPY!!!”

“Ren and Stimpy are coming off a successful title defense last week against Daffy Duck and Elmer.” Early said.

“But will they be as successful this Sunday against two members of the Super Mario Syndicate?” asked Shake.

Umaga’s WWE Theme played as Donkey Kong walked down the ramp with a barrel in hand to boos from the crowd.

“And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Wario, from the Kongo Jungle. . .DONKEY KONG!!”

“Oh my. . .THAT is Luigi’s replacement?” Early said in amazement.

“Just looking at them, Wario and Donkey Kong may be the most powerful tag team in all of XCW!” Shake said. “But we’ll see tonight just what Donkey Kong has to offer.”

The bell rang and the match started with Stimpy running towards Donkey Kong to put him in a tie up only for Donkey Kong to nail him with a clothesline! Donkey Kong picked Stimpy up to his feet and kneed him in the chest, then took him down with another clothesline. Donkey Kong went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicked out.

Donkey Kong Irish whipped Stimpy towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Donkey Kong hit Stimpy with a back drop, but Stimpy landed on his feet and took Donkey Kong down with a chop block. Stimpy grabbed Donkey Kong’s legs and hit him with a stomp to the groin. Stimpy then ran against the ropes behind him and hit Donkey Kong with an elbow to the face. Stimpy went for the cover 1. . .Donkey Kong kicked out, rising off the mat, and sending Stimpy flying off him and onto the mat!

Donkey Kong got back up to his feet and hit Stimpy with a belly to belly suplex. Donkey Kong then clotheslined Stimpy out of the ring and down to the ringside area. Donkey Kong picked Stimpy’s body and dropped him, sending him face first onto the barricade! Donkey Kong then Irish whipped Stimpy against the ring apron, and once he bounced off it, Donkey Kong nailed him with a belly-to-belly side slam on the concrete!

“Good Lord, he’s hell-bent on maiming Stimpy!” Early said.

“He wants to weaken Stimpy before Whiplash!” Shake added.

As Donkey Kong picked Stimpy up, Ren came around the corner from a distance of Donkey Kong. Ren yelled words of encouragement to Stimpy, until Donkey Kong turned around. Donkey Kong then charged at Ren and nailed him with a massive clothesline!

“My God! That wasn’t necessary at all!” yelled Early.

Donkey Kong turned around only for Stimpy to run along the ring apron and hit him with a Diving Crossbody! Stimpy slowly got back up to his feet and slid Donkey Kong back into the ring, and Stimpy slid into the ring after hitting him in the head with an elbow. Stimpy hit Donkey Kong with falling elbow after falling elbow and went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Donkey Kong kicked out! 

Stimpy waited for Donkey Kong to get up to his feet, and then tried to pick him up for a Scoop Slam, but failed because of Donkey Kong’s size. Stimpy Irish whipped Donkey Kong across the ring, and on the bounceback, slammed him down with a Powerslam!

“Woah!” Shake interjected. “How’d he get him down that time?”

Stimpy taunted for Donkey Kong to get up. Once he got up, Stimpy nailed Donkey Kong with a Log Cutter (Diamond Cutter)!!! Stimpy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Wario pulled the referee out of the ring! Wario and Ren entered the ring and traded punches while Stimpy climbed up to the top rope! Ren Irish whipped Wario across the ring and drop kicked him out of the ring! Ren slid out of the ring and continued to brawl with Wario as the referee tried to break it up. Stimpy jumped off the top rope for a Stimpy Splash (Big Splash) only for Donkey Kong to catch him in mid-air and hit him with a Torture Rack! But Stimpy refused to tap out! Donkey Kong dropped Stimpy to his feet and nailed him in the throat with the Kongo Spike (Samoan Spike)!!! Donkey Kong went for the cover as the referee slid back into the ring. 

1\. . .2. . .3!

“Here is your winner. . .DONKEY KONG!!!”

After the bell rang, the referee raised Donkey Kong’s hand in victory as Wario and Ren continued to fight on the outside. Ren jumped up and hit an Enziguri onto Wario! Ren slid into the ring and ran towards Stimpy only for Donkey Kong to pick him up and slam him to the ground with a two-handed Chokeslam!

“It seems Luigi found a perfect replacement for the Tag title match this Sunday.” Shake said.

Early nodded. “What a dominating debut from Donkey Kong!”

Donkey Kong posed in the ring as the show went to a hallway in the backstage area, where Squidward Tentacles stood in a hallway holding a microphone up to his mouth, next to Tommy Vercetti and Claude Speed.

“Please welcome the XCW Hardcore Champion, Claude Speed, and the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti!”

Squidward turned to Claude and Tommy, who looked back at him with looks of intensity.

“Now Tommy. . .” Squidward asked, “. . .you recently gave yourself the nickname of ‘The Harwood Butcher’. If I may ask, why did you choose that nickname?”

“Well, it’s quite simple, Mr. Tentacles.” Tommy answered. “Long before I moved to Vice City, or even came into this company, I ended up cornered in an alleyway somewhere in the Harwood District of Liberty City. It was a dozen gangsters against me and a chainsaw. What resulted was death to all those gangsters, and me standing here right now with the Hardcore Champion. And a 10-year jail sentence, but that’s another story.”

“I adopt it once again because I am a part of XCW’s entry in the Supershow now! And once Spike Spiegel, Jet Black, and everyone at the Supershow are made aware of the presence of the Harwood Butcher, they will know precisely what they are getting into when they cross my path!”

“Claude. . .” Squidward said, “. . .not only will you face Spike Spiegel for your Hardcore Championship in just six days at Whiplash, but also Deadpool, the WWE: CWA Hardcore Champion, has already announced his intention to challenge you for XCW’s Hardcore Championship at the Supershow! Are there any nerves going into either show?”

“Nerves? Are you kidding me?” Claude asked. “Deadpool is a lot like me - a cold-blooded, psychopathic murdering machine. And I know he’s been watching me ever since I won the Hardcore Battle Royal. He knows that he and I are capable of massive destruction in that ring! But I have an alliance with the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, and THIS in my hand.”

Claude raised the barbed wire wrapped 2x4 for Squidward to see.

“With either one or both of them around me, any nervousness in my body evaporates like that! As far as Spike goes, I’ve beaten him before, and just wait. He’s never been in a Hardcore match before. So come Whiplash, once that bell rings, and we face off in that ring, there will be no holds barred, no count-outs, and most of all, no mercy!”

Claude and Tommy walked down the hallway past Squidward and the interview area as the show went to a commercial break.

“Tank!” by The Seatbelts played as Spike Spiegel and Jet Black walked onto the entranceway and down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd.”

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Planet Mars. . .the team of JET BLACK AND SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

“Spike and Jet Black were the first men to challenge Claude for the Hardcore title under the 24/7 rule!” Early said.

“Jet Black failed, but Spike picked up the slack, and as a result, a rivalry of some sorts has started between Spike, Jet, and their opponents here tonight!” Shake said.

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as Tommy Vercetti rode down the ramp in a Kuruma car to cheers from the crowd.

“And their opponents. . .introducing first, from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

The Kuruma car rode around the ring and came to a stop at the foot of the ramp, facing the stage. Tommy Vercetti got out of the car and shut the door. He stood at ringside and looked up at Spike and Jet until pyro exploded on the stage.

“The Harwood Butcher. . .to me, it’s a little early for Tommy Vercetti to start calling himself anything. He hasn’t even officially won a championship in XCW yet!” Shake said.

“You’re right about that, Shake.” Early said. “But this man has shown the same intensity and violent tendencies that he had when he rose to power in Vice City! That alone is enough to warrant the nickname, at least to Tommy.”

"No Mercy" by Pharaoh Monche played and Claude Speed walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with the Hardcore title around his waist and a barbed wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand. 

“And his tag team partner. . .from Liberty City, USA, he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“Claude is going into both upcoming events with targets the size of Texas on his back!” Shake said. “With Deadpool waiting to strike at the Supershow, who knows, Claude may not have a Hardcore title to defend at Whiplash!”

Claude and Tommy entered the ring through the second rope. Tommy raised his fists above his head in the center of the mat while Claude raised the Hardcore title belt and the barbed-wire 2x4 above his head towards the crowd.

“That’s a risk he’s willing to take, Shake!” Early said. “But Claude has proven he’s worthy of defending our Hardcore Championship ever since XCW’s ascension, whether it be in Hardcore matches, or under the 24/7 rule.”

The bell rang and the match began with Claude facing off against Jet Black. Claude hit Jet in the jaw with a right hand. Claude connected with another right hand and went for a left hand only for Jet to counter it into a wrist lock, and wrench Claude’s arm. Claude cringed in pain until Jet lets go. Jet then took Claude down with a massive clothesline! Jet went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out.

Jet picked Claude up and drug him by the head over to his corner and slammed him face-first into the top turnbuckle five times. Jet then tagged in Spike, and they kicked and stomped on Claude in their corner. Spike picked Claude up and Irish whipped him into the opposite corner. Tommy then blind tagged Claude and darted into the ring, taking Spike down with a Lou Thesz Press, and hammering away at Spike’s head with a fury of punches! Tommy picked Spike up to his feet and hit him with a European uppercut. Spike bounced off the ropes and Tommy hit him with a neckbreaker. 

"Tommy living up to his nickname early on!" Early said.

Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out.

Tommy brought Spike to his feet and Irish whipped him against the ropes. On the bounceback Tommy bent over to lift Spike up for a back drop only for Spike to kick him in the face. Spike chopped Tommy in the chest until he was against the ropes. Spike Irish whipped Tommy into his corner and after he bounced off it, hit Tommy with a back drop. Spike went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out. Spike then tagged in Jet Black. They Irish whipped Tommy against the ropes and took him down with a double spinebuster! Jet went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out.

“An early showing of the teamwork Spike and Jet utilize perfectly!” Early said.

Jet picked Tommy up to his feet and threw him out of the ring towards the announce tables. Jet picked Tommy up and was immediately met by a right hand! Jet and Tommy brawled as the referee started the ten count. Spike got off the ring apron and joined in on the brawl until Jet Irish whipped him against the announce table. Claude got off the ring apron and took Spike down with a bulldog! Claude then set up a table at ringside, next to Jet and Spike’s corner. Tommy sold his back as he cringed in pain by the announce table. Claude put Spike in a headlock and pulled him over to the table at ringside only for Spike to fight out of it and suplex Claude on the concrete!

“Spike and Jet are all over the Harwood Butcher, and the Hardcore Champion is down!” Early said. “Who will win before Whiplash? We’ll find out after the break!”

As Massacre returned from break, Jet went for a right hand on Tommy, but he blocked it and took him down with a clothesline! Tommy picked Jet up and slid him into the ring as the referee’s count reached seven. Tommy hit Jet with a series of stomps and followed it up with a falling elbow to the chest. Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Jet kicked out. Tommy ran against the ropes and tried for a falling knee to the face but Jet rolled out of the way. Tommy stood back up only for Jet to put him into a sleeper hold! Tommy tried to fight out of it, but to no avail as Jet brought Tommy down to his knees. He fought for breath as the referee asked Tommy if he wanted to quit. Tommy shook his head no, but his face turned beet red and his arms started to fall limp. The referee raised Tommy’s arm once. . .twice. . .a third time. . .the arm started to fall to Tommy’s side until out of nowhere his arm shot up! Tommy elbowed Jet repeatedly as he rose to his feet, and put Jet into a tie-up, only for Jet to hit Tommy with a swinging side slam! Jet went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! 

“My God! Jet can’t believe it!” Early said.

Jet ran against the ropes to hit a Leg Drop onto Tommy, but Tommy got up and took Jet down with another Lou Thesz Press! Tommy rolled off of Jet and crawled towards Claude, who slapped the top turnbuckle in his corner repeatedly in anticipation for a tag! Meanwhile, Jet crawled towards Spike who did the same. Jet and Tommy made their respective tags!

“Here they come! An early preview of Whiplash!”

Claude darted towards Spike and took him down repeatedly with a series of clotheslines! Claude ran against the ropes and on the bounceback, hit Spike with a spear! Claude went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out!

Claude then put Spike in an armbar while laying down on the mat! Spike writhed in pain until Jet Black broke up the hold with a double axe handle to Claude! Tommy entered the ring and tackled Jet down to the ringside area! Back in the ring, Claude got up and kicked Spike in the gut as he rose to his feet. Claude ran against the ropes and went for a Bicycle Kick only for Spike to avoid it and take Claude down with a Full Nelson Slam! Spike moved back to a corner and slammed his foot down on the mat three times. Spike then hit Claude with the Real Folk Blues! Spike went for the cover hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .3!!!

“Here are your winners. . .JET BLACK AND SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

The referee got out of the ring and tried to break up the fight between Tommy and Jet, but Jet yelled at him to get out of the way. Tommy and Jet brawled until Tommy hit Jet in the gut with a kick. Tommy picked Jet up and rammed him against the steel post! Tommy rolled back into the ring and lunged towards Spike, only to be met with Real Folk Blues! The referee got back into the ring as Spike turned around to face Claude. Spike then pinned Claude! 

“Spike’s going for a cover under the 24/7 rule!” Early said.

1\. . .2. . .Claude punched Spike in the face! Claude crawled over to his corner and grabbed his barbed-wire 2x4! He stood up and raised it towards Spike, who slid out of the ring and taunted Claude and Tommy as he got up, selling his jaw.

“Spike wants no part of any weaponry tonight!” Shake said.

“Like it or not, he’s got it coming to him on Sunday!” Early said.

Meanwhile, backstage, Tai and Sora walked down a hallway with their titles around their waists. They passed Mario and Luigi’s locker room, where Peach and Luigi walked out of and shut the door.

“Good luck tonight, Tai!” Luigi called out to Tai.

Tai and Sora turned around to face Peach and Luigi.

“You’re gonna need it in order to face me and Mario!” Luigi said with a smirk.

“And Sora, your Women’s Championship is going to complement my dress beautifully when I wear it around my waist this Sunday!” Peach said.

Tai scowled as Sora turned to look at him.

“You know, Tai, in beating us up last week, Peach and Luigi seemed pretty eager to start their matches at Whiplash early!”

“Yeah!” Tai said. “If you guys don’t want to wait until the main event tonight to fight, we can start right now---“

Tai and Sora started to charge at Luigi and Peach until Luigi and Peach put their hands out in front of them in protection.

“Don’t get me wrong, we want to but. . .” Luigi said, cowardly until Peach interrupted.

“---Space Ghost needs to see us!”

“Yeah!” Luigi said, nodding his head. “So we’ll. . .see you guys in the ring!”

Luigi nodded his head rapidly and turned around to walk down the hallway, away from Sora and Tai, who sneered in disgust before the show faded to a commercial.

Back in the ring, Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4 stood in a corner, getting pumped up.

“The following handicap match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the team of Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4. . .THE JOHNNY BOYZ!!!”

“This unlikely duo of Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4 is looking to rise in the ranks of the XCW tag division.” Early remarked.

“With a win tonight, they could do just that---“ Shake said, until “Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played! 

Garfield and Jon Arbuckle walked down the ramp to boos from the crowd, with Jon coaching Garfield, whose focus was only on the ring.

“. . .well, never mind.”

“And their opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle, from Chicago, Illinois. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“Samurai Jack and Jimmy have been hospitalized in recent weeks following matches against this mastodon. . .will the Johnny Boyz join them?” Early asked.

As Garfield stepped over the top ropes, the bell rang and the match started with Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4 running towards Garfield and hitting him with a series of punches. Garfield sold the pain before finally hitting both of them with a double clothesline.

“Well. . .they got some offense in.” Shake commented.

Johnny Bravo got back up and ran towards Garfield only to be hit by a Big Boot! Garfield roared at the crowd, who boo back at him. Garfield picked Jonny 2x4 up and raised him over his head.

“My God. . .Jonny 2x4 has one hell of a landing coming up!” Early said.

Johnny Bravo got back up and charged at Garfield, who dropped Jonny 2x4 on top of Johnny! Jon cheered at Garfield from ringside screaming phrases like “Cave their heads in!” and “Destroy them!” as the crowd continued to boo. 

As Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4 stumbled to their feet, Garfield grabbed both of their heads and slammed them together! 

“Good grief!” Early cringed. “He’s just following orders from Jon at this point!”

Garfield stretched his hands, waiting for Johnny and Jonny to get back up. They stumbled up to their feet, and Garfield Irish whipped Jonny 2x4 towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Garfield slammed Jonny down to the mat with a Samoan Drop! Garfield then grabbed Johnny Bravo by the neck and took him down with a Chokeslam onto Jonny 2x4! Garfield went to the cover 1. . . 2. . . 3!!!

“Thank God it’s over!” Early exclaimed.

“Here is your winner. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“This monster Garfield has just delivered non-stop pain since coming to XCW!” Shake observed.

The referee started to raise Garfield’s hand, but he shoved him out of his way. Jon Arbuckle entered the ring and raised Garfield’s hand in victory. They left the ring as the referee checked on Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4, who still laid on the mat unconscious.

“And his manager Jon Arbuckle calls for it! For the love of God, why?” Early asked.

Backstage, Squidward stood in the interview area with Bugs Bunny, who appeared to be seething with anger.

“Bugs. . .” Squidward asked, “. . .up next you and Tai team up to face Mario and Luigi in tag team action. But you, along with Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd, were a part of the brutal attack by the Super Mario Syndicate last week. If I could, I just wanted to ask for you to describe exactly what you’re feeling right now.”

“How do you think I feel, Doc?” Bugs exploded. “The Super Mario Syndicate is on the verge of taking over XCW, it has the commissioner in support of what they do, and they blindsided my friends and I last week! I’d say I feel pretty damn angry right now! And all this is just to give Mario momentum going into a freakin’ Supershow??? Space Ghost thinks Mario will represent XCW proud; I’m the one that deserves to be in the Supershow’s main event, and I’m the one that deserves the World title! But tonight, I will not only prove to our competition that Mario is not the ideal champion, but at Whiplash, when I win the World Heavyweight Championship, I will prove that I am the best in this business, and will proudly represent not only XCW, but all of animated wrestling!”

Bugs stormed away from Squidward, leaving him stunned as the show went to a commercial break.

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario and Luigi ran onto the stage and down the ramp to boos from the crowd, raising his hands in a peace sign towards the ring.

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is your XCW main event of the evening!!! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Peach, from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .Luigi, and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion, Mario. . .THE MARIO BROTHERS!!!”

“Considering the animosity that Tai and Bugs feel about these two men tonight, Shake, I’ve got a feeling that our main event won’t end well.” Early said.

“I’m right there with you, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “The Super Mario Syndicate has made their mark in this business, but for the wrong reasons!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played as Tai Kamiya ran onto the stage raising the Television Championship above his head and towards the crowd who cheered him on, with Sora at his side.

“And their opponents. . .first! Being accompanied to the ring by Sora Takenouchi, from Tokyo, Japan, he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

“How fair has Space Ghost been throughout his tenure so far?” Shake said sarcastically. “Bugs had to earn a shot at Mario’s World Heavyweight Championship by beating Luigi, but when Luigi wants a shot at the Television title at Whiplash against this man, he gets one, no problem!”

“History and stardom, Shake!” Early answered. “Space Ghost wants to make history and put XCW on the map, there’s no fault in that. But how he’s doing it is just downright uncalled for! But by the end of Sunday night, Mario and Luigi could make history, and be the first brothers to carry both the World Heavyweight and Television championships in XCW!”

Tai strode down the ramp and slid into the ring, climbing onto a turnbuckle and raising the Television title towards the crowd.

"What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny played as Bugs walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd, his attention focused on the ring.

“And his tag team partner. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!

Bugs entered the ring and glared at Mario before posing on the turnbuckle.

“It all started 3 weeks ago, when Mario defeated Bugs, Garfield and Hotsuma in a Fatal-4-Way to determine our first World Heavyweight Champion!” Early recapped. “Bugs claimed that he was more deserving of the title because he is a true cartoon character. Mario fought back and said that Bugs and the Looney Tunes were irrelevant. This would be followed by a series of personal attacks, both to Bugs and his former rivals now friends, Daffy and Elmer. But in 6 days, at Whiplash, all will come to a head when Bugs and Mario face off for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!”

“It’s gonna be one hell of a show!” Shake said.

Bugs got off the turnbuckle as Tai got on the ring apron behind Bugs and the ropes. The bell rang and the match began with Bugs facing off against Luigi. Bugs glared at Mario, who stood behind Luigi and the ropes in his corner. Bugs and Luigi got into a tie up, and Bugs put Luigi in a front face lock. Luigi pushed Bugs against the ropes, and on the bounceback, pushed Bugs towards the ropes in front of him. Once Bugs bounced back, Luigi hit him with a clothesline. Bugs immediately got back up and slapped Luigi in the chest with chop after chop until he was against the ropes. Bugs Irish whipped Luigi towards the other side of the ring, and on the bounceback, took Luigi down with a snap suplex! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out.

Bugs picked Luigi up to his feet and drug him over to his corner. Bugs tagged in Tai who leapt over the ropes and nailed Luigi with a dropkick. Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out. Tai picked Luigi up to his feet and Irish whipped him across the ring. Tai jumped over Luigi on the bounceback. As Luigi bounced off the ropes again, Tai took Luigi down with a Flying Headscissors! Luigi got back up and Tai put him into a wrist lock, then took him down with an arm drag. Tai went to put Luigi in a headlock while he was down but Luigi hit Tai with a thumb to the eye. Luigi got back up and took Tai down with a neckbreaker. Luigi tagged in Mario, who entered to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Mario yelled something to the crowd then picked Tai up to his feet.

“Another question comes to mind: How will the roster of CWF, and JC, their General Manager, see Mario when he arrives at the Supershow?” Shake asked.

“I don’t even know how to answer that, Shake!” Early responded. “Mario has made a mark there as a former CWF Champion. But his actions here in XCW have been so unchampion-like, who knows how the good folks at CWF will approach him!”

Mario put Tai into a front face lock then lifted him up for a fireman’s carry, only for Tai to drop out of it and put Mario into a waist lock. Mario elbowed out of the hold and this time successfully took Tai out with a fireman’s carry. Mario ran against the ropes and hit a leg drop onto Tai! Mario went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out. 

Tai got back up to his feet and hit Mario with a series of chops. Mario countered one into a wrist-lock and kneed Tai in the chest. Mario then took Tai down with a gutbuster! Mario then locked Tai into a Boston Crab! 

“Tai felt that painful stretch last week. . .” Shake said. “. . .just looking at it makes me feel pain too!”

Tai screamed in pain as he inched closer and closer to the ropes as the referee asked him if he wanted to give up. Tai shook his head no. Sora yelled words of encouragement to Tai, while Peach cheered for Mario on the other side of the ring. Tai crawled closer to his corner and successfully made the tag to Bugs! The referee ordered Mario to let go of the stretch. Mario got up and argued with the referee, only to be blindsided by a clothesline from Bugs! Bugs taunted for Mario to get up and then hit Mario with another clothesline! Bugs taunted for Mario to get up one more time and took him down with a back drop! 

Bugs went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!

Bugs picked Mario up and slammed him down with a Scoop Slam! Bugs pointed at the top turnbuckle and climbed on top of it. Bugs sized Mario up and went for the Acme Elbow Drop but Mario rolled out of the way, sending Bugs to land on the mat! Bugs sold his elbow in pain as he got up to his feet. Mario Irish whipped Bugs towards his corner and rammed his head into the top turnbuckle. Tai blind tagged himself in as the referee argued with Mario again. Tai put Mario into a waist-lock and took him down with three German suplexes! Tai went for the cover 1 . . 2. . .

Mario kicked out! Luigi got off the ring apron and ran behind Bugs who still laid in the corner. Luigi started to choke Bugs from the outside of the ring! Sora strode to Luigi and punched him with her ring hand! Tai sized Mario up and nailed him with a jawbreaker! Tai ran towards the corner and climbed up the top rope, only to look to his left and see Peach run towards Sora near his corner! Sora and Peach started to brawl up the ramp as Tai got off the turnbuckle in distraction. Mario got up and rolled Tai up, grabbing a fistful of tights! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicks out! Mario picked Tai up for two consecutive suplexes! He held onto Tai and lifted him up for a third suplex, but Tai countered it into a Hurricanrana pin attempt! 1. . .2. . .Luigi nailed Tai in the head with a steel chair!

“God almighty!” Early screamed. “Tai’s brains have been scrambled!”

The referee called for the bell to be rang. Luigi hit Tai with chair shot after chair shot until Sora climbed onto the top turnbuckle and took Luigi down with a Soracanrana! Peach then slid into the ring with the World title belt but Sora hit Peach with a Lou Thesz Press! Peach then rolled Sora onto her back and started a catfight with her! They fought until they both rolled out of the ring. Bugs darted into the ring to attack Mario only to be met with two consecutive suplexes! Mario lifted Bugs up for one more suplex but Bugs fought out of it, kicked Mario in the gut, and took him down with a Bunny Bomb! Mario rolled out of the ring as he, Luigi and Peach walked back up the ramp, chewing out Bugs and Tai on their way up. Tai and Sora raised their belts above their heads and towards Luigi and Peach while Bugs stood on the top turnbuckle, raising the World Heavyweight Championship belt towards Mario! 

“Could this be the scene at the end of Whiplash? Will XCW have a new World Heavyweight Champion?”

“Buggin’” by Bugs Bunny played while Bugs, Tai and Sora continued to yell at Mario, Luigi and Peach as Massacre went off the air!

Results:

Sora defeats Daisy  
Donkey Kong defeats Stimpy  
Spike Spiegel and Jet Black defeat Claude Speed and Tommy Vercetti  
Garfield defeats Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4  
Bugs Bunny and Tai defeat Mario and Luigi (via DQ)

Final Card for XCW Whiplash for your predicting pleasure:

Ren and Stimpy © vs. Wario and Donkey Kong for the XCW Tag Team Championship  
Yuna vs. Daisy  
Tai © vs. Luigi for the XCW Television Championship  
Garfield vs. Scorpion, Sub-Zero and Solid Snake  
Sora © vs. Peach for the XCW Women’s Championship  
Claude Speed © vs. Spike Spiegel for the XCW Hardcore Championship  
Mario © vs. Bugs Bunny for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship


	5. XCW Whiplash

AND NOW. . .XCW PRESENTS. . .WHIPLASH!!! I only own my championships.

“When Worlds Collide” by Powerman 5000 plays as fireworks go off all over the entranceway.

“It is absolutely electric here inside the Springfield Stadium in Springfield, USA! 10,000 fans are on their feet for XCW’s first ever pay-per-view!!! Welcome to Whiplash, ladies and gentlemen, sponsored by The Krusty Krab!!! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and Shake, I cannot wait for tonight’s card to get underway!” Early said in excitement.

“Neither can I, Early!” Shake agreed. “We have seven matches tonight, and all of them have the potential to blow the roof off here in Springfield!”

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Championship!”

Umaga’s WWE theme plays as Wario and Donkey Kong strode down the ramp and entered the ring to boos from the crowd.

“Introducing first, the challengers. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .WARIO AND DONKEY KONG!!!”

“These two men “earned” their way in this match after a vicious attack on the team of Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd!” Early informed.

“And ironically one of the men in that attack isn’t even in the match!” Shake added. “Donkey Kong is Luigi’s replacement in this match while he takes on Tai later tonight for the Television title!”

All the lights go off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by "YOU EEEDIOT!" followed by Scott Steiner's TNA music plays, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walk onto the stage and down the ramp to a standing ovation with the Tag title belts around their waist.

“And their opponents. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia, they are the XCW Tag Team Champions. . .REN AND STIMPY!!!”

“Last week on Monday Night Massacre, Ren and Stimpy got a good look at their opponents tonight, when Stimpy took on Donkey Kong in singles competition.” Early said.

“Not only do the champs have to find a weakness in this mastodon, Donkey Kong, but they also have to find a way around Wario’s dirty tactics!” Shake added.

The bell rings and the match starts with Stimpy facing off against Wario. They get into a tie-up and Wario puts Stimpy in a headlock. Wario wrenches Stimpy’s head until Stimpy pushes out of the hold. He pushes Wario against the ropes and goes for a back drop on the bounceback. However, Wario kicks Stimpy in the gut and takes him down with a sidewalk slam. Wario goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicks out.  
Wario picks Stimpy up and hits him with a couple right hands then a European uppercut. Wario walks to his corner and tags in Donkey Kong, who steps over all three ropes to get into the ring. Donkey Kong picks Stimpy up by the leg and smashes his knee to the mat. Stimpy crawls over to the corner and tags in Ren. Ren runs up to Donkey Kong, who looks down at him menacingly. Donkey Kong backs Ren up into a corner and punches him repeatedly before ramming his head into the top turnbuckle. Donkey Kong picks Ren up and goes for the Torture Rack early but Ren drops out of it and brings him to his knees with a chop block. Ren goes for an Enziguri kick but Donkey Kong moves out of the way and steps on Ren’s back! Donkey Kong applies pressure by pushing down on the top rope as the referee starts the five-count. Donkey Kong gets off Ren when the count gets to four. 

Stimpy gets on the top turnbuckle as Donkey Kong goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy nails Donkey Kong with a double-axe handle to break up the count! Stimpy runs out of the ring, distracting Donkey Kong. Ren gets up, waiting for Donkey Kong to turn around. Donkey Kong does turn around, and Ren pulls his legs out from under him and puts Donkey Kong into a Figure 4 Leg Lock!!! Donkey Kong writhes in pain as he tries to inch to the ropes.

“He’s got it locked in on the big man!” Early said in excitement.

“Great strategy!” Shake encouraged. “He’s targeting Donkey Kong’s limbs!”

Donkey Kong tries to reach for the ropes but Ren pulls the hold back into the center of the ring! Donkey Kong reaches for the ropes. . .motions he could tap out. . .until Wario slides into the ring and breaks the hold! Wario picks Ren up and takes him down with a Scoop Slam before getting into an argument with the referee.

“Nice try, Wario!” Shake said. “But you’re not the legal man!”

Donkey Kong gets up and puts Ren into a Full Nelson lock. Ren writhes in pain until Donkey Kong lifts him up and slams him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Donkey Kong taunts for Ren to get up. Once he does, Donkey Kong puts him in the Torture Rack! Ren comes close to tapping out until Stimpy gets onto the top turnbuckle again and takes down Donkey Kong with a Diving Crossbody, with Ren still on top of him for the cover!

1\. . .2. . .Donkey Kong powers out of the cover! Stimpy slides back into his corner with Donkey Kong staring him down. Donkey Kong gets to his knees and is met with an Enziguri kick from Ren! Both men are down and crawl towards their corners for a tag. Stimpy and Wario slap their hands on their respective top turnbuckles in anticipation for the tag.

“Both men are down! Who will gain the advantage by tagging his partner in first???” Early said in excitement.

Ren tags in Stimpy then Donkey Kong tags in Wario! Stimpy takes down Wario with a clothesline! Wario immediately gets up and is met by another clothesline from Stimpy! Wario gets up again and as Stimpy goes for another clothesline, Donkey Kong comes into the ring and takes Stimpy down with another Full Nelson Slam! Ren darts back into the ring and clotheslines Donkey Kong over the ropes, to the ringside area. Donkey Kong gets up first and signals for the Kongo Spike, but Ren spins behind Donkey Kong and takes him down with a reverse DDT!

Meanwhile, Wario went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Stimpy put his foot on the bottom rope!!! 

Wario got off him and raises his fists in the air in celebration, thinking he won the match! Stimpy then gets up right behind Wario!

“Wario! You didn’t win! Turn around!” Shake said.

Stimpy picks up Wario and takes him down with a Scoop Slam! Stimpy raises his hands in the air and yells something to the crowd, who erupts into cheers. Ren goes up to the top rope and Stimpy spreads Wario’s legs apart so his groin faces Ren. Stimpy looks at Ren and screams "WASSUP?" and Ren screams it back to him, and dives off the turnbuckle and nails a headbutt to the groin of Wario!!!

Stimpy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!!!

The bell rang and referee raised Stimpy and Ren’s hands in the air before giving them the Tag title belts.

“Here are your winners, AND STILL the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .REN AND STIMPY!!!”

Ren and Stimpy raise the titles above their heads as Stimpy turns around to see Donkey Kong right behind them! Stimpy and Ren slide out of the ring and Donkey Kong follows them! Stimpy comes to the front of the announce table while Ren runs behind it, yelling for Early and Shake to get out of the way! 

“Holy crap!” Shake screamed. “I’m getting out of here!”

“That’s a smart idea!” Early said as he ripped his headphones off and stood.

Early and Shake moved far away from the announce table as Stimpy removed the protective covering and TV monitors off the table! Stimpy throws a TV monitor at Donkey Kong’s head, knocking him back a bit. Donkey Kong turns back around, only to be picked up by Stimpy, and Ren joins in on the other side to hit Donkey Kong with the R&S Death Drop through the announce table!

“Oh my God!!!” Early yelled. “Right through our table!!!”

“NOOO! He may have crushed my cell phone!” Shake cried.

Ren and Stimpy raise their belts above their heads as the crowd cheers for them! 

“Why are they cheering for these two men?” Shake asked demandingly. “They destroyed our table!”

“They fought well against the Super Mario Syndicate tonight, Shake!” Early answered. “And they successfully defended the tag team titles! What a start to our first pay-per-view! What else is gonna happen tonight?”

Meanwhile, backstage, Squidward stood in a hallway with a microphone in hand next to Claude Speed, who was seething with anger and looking away from Squidward.

“Claude. . .” Squidward began, “. . .at the CWF Supershow, you lost the XCW Hardcore Championship to Deadpool, but regained it from Chris Griffin later in the night to become a 3-time XCW Hardcore Champion! But aside from being thrown into JC’s office, nobody was around in the back to capture the actual fight between you two. Inquiring minds want to know, how did you gain the title back from Chris?”

Claude turned slowly to look at Squidward.

“Tonight. . .” Claude said, angrily, “. . .you’ll get a reenactment of what happened between me and Chris. . .in my match against Spike.”

Claude stormed off, leaving Squidward looking at him in fear as the show went to a commercial break.

“Shake. . .I don’t think I want to know what happened between him and Chris.” Early said.

“Yeah. . .” Shake agreed. “. . .what we saw yields enough sick, twisted ideas. What we saw is good enough.”

"Simple and Clean" by Utada Hikaru plays as Yuna struts down the ramp to cheers from the cround, wearing her Final Fantasy X attire.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Besaid. . .YUNA!!!”

“This match came about a couple weeks ago on Massacre, when Yuna faced Peach in a number one contender’s match for the XCW Women’s title. Yuna had the match well in hand, until Daisy’s interference!” Early informed.

Aggressive rock music played as Daisy strutted down the ramp to boos from the crowd.

“And her opponent. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .DAISY!”

“You got that right, Early!” Shake said. “Yuna was successful in taking out Daisy, but in distraction, Peach took advantage, and as a result, she will take on Sora Takenouchi for the Women’s Championship later tonight!”

The bell rings and the match starts with Yuna and Daisy in a tie-up. Yuna puts Daisy in a front-face lock and pushes Daisy against the ropes, only for Daisy to fight out of the hold and push Yuna against the ropes on the other side of the ring. On the bounceback, Daisy hits Yuna with a Lou Thesz Press, then repeatedly slaps her in the face! 

“CATFIGHT!!! CATFIGHT!!!” Shake screamed.

“What are you, a 12 year-old pre-pubescent boy?” Early asked, annoyed.

Yuna rolls Daisy onto her back and hits her in the head with right hand after right hand! Yuna gets off Daisy and runs towards the ropes. On the bounceback, she hits a running moonsault onto Daisy! Yuna goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daisy kicks out. Daisy puts Yuna into a wristlock and takes her down with a snapmare. Daisy then puts Yuna into an abdominal stretch! Yuna writhes in pain until Daisy knees her in the back. Daisy then backs up into the corner, runs towards Yuna and takes her down with a monkey flip! Daisy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicks out!

Daisy puts Yuna in an abdominal stretch again. Yuna writhes in pain as the referee asks her if she wants to quit. Yuna shakes her head no as Daisy puts more pressure on the hold. Yuna drags her body across the mat very slowly. . .until she fights out of the hold, and flips Daisy over her head! Yuna sizes Daisy up, runs against the ropes, and takes her down with a running clothesline! Yuna runs towards Daisy again and takes her down with another clothesline! Yuna runs against the ropes behind her, and on the bounceback, takes Daisy down with Flying Headscissors! Yuna goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daisy kicks out!

“How close was that???” Early asked.

Daisy gets up and pushes Yuna into a corner. She hits Yuna with a fury of punches, and sends her falling face-first onto the mat. Daisy climbs up to the middle rope and taunts her to get up! Yuna gets up and Daisy goes for a missile dropkick, but Yuna jumps out of the way, sending Daisy to land flat on the mat! Yuna attempts a backslide pin 1. . .2. . .Daisy kicks out!

Daisy gets up and Yuna picks her up for a snap suplex, but Daisy counters it into a neckbreaker! Daisy then runs against the ropes and lands a running knee to the face of Yuna! Daisy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicks out! Daisy then climbs up to the top rope and goes for a moonsault, only for Yuna to get up in time and catch her in mid-air, taking her down with a fall-away slam! Yuna then looks at the crowd and takes off her Final Fantasy X wear, revealing her Final Fantasy X-2 attire underneath!

“TAKE IT ALL OFF!!! TAKE IT ALL OFF!!!” Shake excitedly screamed.

“Stop it, Shake!” Early said.

Yuna throws her FFX dress into the crowd as she climbs up to the top rope. She raises her hands up repeatedly to get the crowd to cheer, which they do, as Daisy rises to her feet. Yuna dives off the top rope and nails Daisy with a diving spear!!! 

Yuna went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .3!!!!

“Here is your winner. . .YUNA!!!!”

The referee raises Yuna’s arm in victory. Yuna gets onto a top turnbuckle and poses in celebration.

“What a showing tonight by Yuna!” Early said. “She proved tonight that she can be a legitimate contender in the Women’s division!”

“Yeah, and on sex appeal alone!” Shake exclaimed, as Early just rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, outside the arena, Spike Spiegel stood up against the building, smoking a cigarette. Squidward walked up to him with a microphone in his hand.

“Spike. . .” Squidward asked, “. . .up next you face Claude Speed for the XCW Hardcore title. However, this match will be your first Hardcore match, and after you lost the Hardcore title to Claude a couple weeks ago on Massacre, some of the wrestlers backstage have said that you’re not hardcore. What do you say to those people?”

“They don’t think I’m hardcore?” Spike asked, not looking at Squidward.

Spike has one more drag on his cigarette before flicking the cigarette butt onto Squidward’s nose.

“Tell them to watch the damn match, and keep their mouth shut before making a bullshit statement like that! Claude won’t know what’s coming for him in that ring tonight.” Spike said before stepping back into the arena, leaving Squidward out in the cold as the show went to a commercial break.

“The following contest. . .scheduled for one fall, is a hardcore match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship!”

"Tank!" by The Seatbelts plays as Spike Spiegel walks down the ramp to a mixed reaction with a cigarette in his mouth.

“Introducing first, the challenger! From Planet Mars. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

“Spike’ll either be celebrating or chain-smoking once this match is through.” Shake predicted.

“Spike says tonight will be the night he proves to be hardcore!” Early said. “And in Spike’s own words, if he has to beat Claude senseless to do it, then so be it!”

Pyro explodes from the entranceway and “No Mercy” by Pharaoh Monche played to cheers from the crowd but Claude Speed is nowhere to be seen.

“And his opponent, from Liberty City, USA. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

Spike puts his hands on his knees, staring at the ramp waiting for Claude. 

“Well, there’s Spike’s music, the pyro went off. . .but where’s Claude?” Early wondered.

Claude runs through the crowd, jumps over the barricade, and slides into the ring with his barbed-wire 2x4 in hand, waiting for Spike to turn around! Claude throws the barbed-wire 2x4 out of the ring as the referee signals for the bell to ring, and Spike stands up, confused.

“Oh my God!” Shake said. “Spike, you might wanna turn around. . .”

Spike slowly turns around and is immediately met by a Lou Thesz Press from Claude! Claude hits Spike with a fury of right and left hands! Claude and Spike roll out of the ring, exchanging fists to the face as they crash to the concrete floor! Claude gets off Spike and looks under the ring apron for a weapon. Claude pulls out a trash can with a street sign and a kendo stick inside it from under the apron and yells for Spike to get up. Claude throws the trash can down and pulls the street sign out of the can. He taunts for Spike to get up and raises the street sign above his head. Spike gets on his knees and punches Claude in the gut, sending the street sign to the ground. Spike picks up the sign, rises to his feet and nails Claude in the head with it! Claude falls to the ground and Spike goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicks out!

“God almighty! Does Claude know where he is right now?” Early asked.

“Or where he’s going?” Shake added.

Spike steps over Claude and picks him up by the hair. Spike screams “I’ll show ya I’m hardcore!!!” Spike puts Claude in a headlock and drags him up the ramp towards the entranceway, along the way Spike his Claude with a side headlock takedown. Spike hits Claude in the face with numerous right hands until Claude knees him in the gut. Claude grabs Spike by the shirt and they both walk through the entranceway to the backstage area. 

Upon entering the hallway, Claude throws Spike into a wall. Upon impact, Claude takes Spike down with a clothesline! Claude goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicks out. Claude picks Spike up and puts him in a headlock. They stride down the hallway, slamming each other’s heads into walls along the way, until they arrive in a parking garage full of cars. Spike lands a punch on Claude then takes him down with a Russian Leg Sweep. Spike goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicks out.

Spike picks Claude up and hits him with another right hand before throwing him against the side of an SUV! Spike then picks up a tire iron from the ground and hits Claude in the face with it! Spike sizes Claude up as he rises and runs towards him to hit him with the tire iron again. . .only for Claude to spin out of the way, causing Spike’s head to smash through the window of the SUV! 

Early cringed. “Oh my God!”

“That’s gotta hurt!” Shake said.

Spike raises his head out of the SUV, revealing that he has been busted open! He turns around and Claude meets him with a spear against the SUV! Claude goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicks out!

Claude and Spike get up to their feet and Spike takes Claude down with a clothesline. Spike picks Claude up by the jacket and forces him towards the large garage door of the parking garage. He raises Claude’s head and yells in his face “HERE’S PROOF I’M HARDCORE!” before repeatedly slamming his face into the garage door!

“What brutality!” Early commented.

“As Joey Styles would call it, ‘C.O.D.: Concussion On Delivery!’” Shake said.

After the fifth time, Claude’s head is busted open, and blood stains the metal garage door! Spike slams Claude’s head against the door five more times, and goes for a sixth, only for Claude to elbow out of the hold and take Spike down with another Lou Thesz Press! Claude rolls off of Spike and gets back up, letting out a scream of intensity.

“My God! It’s like Claude’s a different person when he’s busted open!” Early observed.

Claude screamed “Get up, you son of a bitch!” at Spike, and grabs a crowbar from a shelf next to the door. Spike gets up and Claude nails him in the head with the crowbar! Claude picks Spike up by the shirt and pushes him out of the hallway. Once they reach the doorway, however, Jet Black charges at Claude with a chain around his fist! Claude however pushes Spike in front of him and Jet accidentally hits Spike with the chain-wrapped fist, taking everyone down!

Claude picks Jet up and throws him into a door in the hallway, knocking him down. Claude continues pushing Spike ahead of him until Spike brings him to his knees with a Low Blow! Spike then knees Claude in the face! Spike goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicks out! Spike can’t believe it. Spike then brings Claude to his feet and they continue to stride towards the entranceway, Spike holding Claude in a headlock. As they reach the entrance to the arena, Claude fights out of the headlock again and he and Spike trade punches as they make their way onto the entranceway, down the ramp! Claude hits Spike with a right hand and goes for a left but Spike kicks Claude in the gut, and takes him down with a Suplex on the ramp! Spike goes for the cover. . .

1….

2\. . . .

Claude kicked out!

Early: How did he kick out of that??? He’s been through so much pain!

Spike can’t believe it! Claude gets up to his feet and Spike puts Claude in a Full Nelson stretch but Claude fights out of it and takes Spike down with a Fireman’s Carry on the foot of the ramp! Claude stomps on Spike’s body and face until Spike grabs Claude’s foot and sends him landing face-first behind him on the ramp! Spike stumbles to his feet and picks up Claude’s legs. Spike then hits Claude with a slingshot, all the way to the concrete floor by the ring! Spike goes for the cover. . .

1\. . . .

2\. . . .

. . . .

Claude kicked out!!! Spike pounds on the ground with his fist in frustration while the fans cheer like crazy! Spike gets up to his feet, and taunts for Claude to get up, stomping his foot on the ground three times. Spike goes for Real Folk Blues but Claude ducks out of the way, causing Spike’s foot to collide into the steel post! Spike falls to the ground, selling his ankle in pain!

“My God! He really looks hurt, Shake!” Early said in concern.

“I’ll say! You’ve got him, Claude! Go for the cover!” Shake ordered.

Claude looks down at Spike and hovers over him. . .until he looks to his far right and sees the barbed wire 2x4 laying on the ground. Claude walks over to pick it up!

“No, no Claude! The damage has been done! You’ll retain the Hardcore title!” Early said.

Claude picks up the 2x4 and the fans erupt in cheers!

“How bloodthirsty are these people? Haven’t they seen enough?” Shake asked.

Claude steps next to Spike, waiting for him to rise to his knees like he’s up to bat in a baseball game!

“NO WAY!!” Early screamed.

“It’s the bottom of the ninth. . .” Shake said in anticipation. “. . .bases are loaded. . .” 

Spike rises to his knees and Claude nails him in the face with the barbed-wire 2x4!!! Claude raises the 2x4 in triumph as the fans cheer ravenously!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Early yelled.

Claude hovers over Spike, about to go for the cover. . .but Claude stops in his tracks. He lowers the 2x4 as he reaches into his jacket pocket for something. He pulls his hand out of the pocket with a container of lighter fluid!!!

“Oh no. . .Claude hit a home run but to him, it was only a triple!!!” Shake said.

Claude douses the 2x4 in the lighter fluid and pulls out a lighter from his jacket, setting the barbed-wire 2x4 on fire!!! Claude then gets into the at-bat position again, and, at a snail’s pace, Spike sits up to his knees. . .

“MY GOD!!!” Early screamed. “NO!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

Claude nails Spike in the face with the flaming 2x4!!!

“OH MY GOD!!!”

Spike’s head and body shakes and quivers in pain as Claude goes for the cover, hooking the leg!

1\. . . .

2\. . . .

3!!!!

“THANK GOD IT’S OVER!!!” Early said in relief.

The crowd erupts into cheers as Claude raises his fists and the flaming 2x4 above his head in triumph!

“The winner of this match, AND STILL the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!!”

Referees run down the ramp to check on Spike as Claude strides up it with the 2x4 and the Hardcore title belt. As he walks up the ramp, Jet Black runs down the ramp charging at Claude!

“LOOK OUT!” Shake said, as Jet Black stopped in his tracks. . .only for Claude to nail him in the ribs with the flaming 2x4!

Shake cringed. “GOOD GOD!”

Jet tries to push himself up but Claude hits him in the back with the 2x4! Smiling, Claude looks at the crowd and raises the belt and the 2x4 above his head as he reaches the entranceway! As he looks around at the crowd, they chanted “YOU’RE HARDCORE!!! YOU’RE HARDCORE!!!”

“Listen to the crowd! How can they love this guy?” Shake asked in disgust.

“The man is hardcore, Shake! And not only did he prove it even further tonight, he sent a message to Deadpool!” Early said, as the show went backstage.

Bugs Bunny walked down a hallway with a smile on his face as Squidward Tentacles came up to him with a microphone.

“Bugs. . .” Squidward said, “. . .congratulations on your victory against Yang at the Supershow! With you and 9 other guys involved, the odds were in favor of you being a lumberjack instead of wrestling in the ring. How did it feel to compete with other companies?”

“Well, just getting to fight in the ring proved that luck was on my side!” Bugs said, confidently. “But to win was another story. You see, in winning my match, I did what Mario failed to do: draw attention to XCW! And our Commissioner, Space Ghost, spent all his time building up Mario for it. I’ll bet ya he feels like a real maroon right now! He’ll feel even more embarrassment tonight, because with luck on my side, I will beat Mario, and become the NEW XCW World Heavyweight Champion!”

Back in the ring, Plankton stood with a microphone.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Championship!!!”

"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine plays as Sora runs onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, raising the Women's Championship belt above her head and towards the crowd.

“Introducing first, from Tokyo, Japan, she is the XCW Women's Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!”

“Sora and her husband Tai have proven themselves to be two of the best wrestlers in this business since the birth of XCW!” Early said.

Sora climbed onto a turnbuckle and posed, raising the Women's title belt towards the fans.

“The best part of having these two here in XCW is that they’re only in their twenties; who knows what more they’ll accomplish as their careers continue?” Shake wondered.

“Brackish” by Kittie played as Peach blew kisses to the crowd, who ravenously booed her.

“And her opponent. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .PEACH!!!”

“However, the Super Mario Syndicate is 0-for-2 in matches so far tonight.” Early said.

“With wins tonight, Peach and Mario could challenge Tai and Sora’s status as the power couple of XCW!” Shake said.

The bell rings and the match starts with Sora and Peach getting into a tie-up. Peach puts Sora in a headlock, but Sora pushes Peach towards the ropes and throws her forward, releasing the hold. Sora jumps over Peach on the bounceback, then takes her down with Flying Headscissors! Peach immediately shoots back up to her feet and ties Sora up. Peach puts Sora in a wrist-lock and takes her down with an arm drag, then puts her in an armbar on the mat. The referee asks Sora if she wants to quit, but she shakes her head no. Sora fights her arm out of the hold, then flips back onto her feet and takes down Peach with a windmill kick! Sora goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicks out!

Sora picks Peach up to her feet and hits her with chop after chop until she is backed up into a corner. Sora picks Peach up to sit her on the top rope but Peach counters it into a Jumping Tornado DDT! Peach then runs against the ropes and hits Sora in the back with a dropkick on the bounceback! Peach goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicks out! Peach picks Sora up to her feet and elbows her in the gut. Peach runs against the ropes again and takes Sora down with a swinging neckbreaker! Peach taunts the crowd before going for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicks out! 

Peach gets on her knees and locks Sora in an abdominal stretch! The referee asks her if she wants to quit. She shakes her head no, writhing in pain!

“Sora’s felt Peach’s abdominal stretch before; the pain is no less excruciating this time!” Early commented.

“You got that right!” Shake said. “Will she tap out?”

Sora writhes in pain but powers herself up, but Peach still has the hold locked in! Sora slowly turns around and counters the hold into a Northern Lights suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Peach kicks out! 

Sora abruptly sits up, stunned! Sora picks Peach up to her feet but Peach hits her with a thumb to the eye! Peach runs against the ropes and goes for a crossbody on Sora, but Sora catches her, puts her in a waist-lock and takes her down with two straight German suplexes! Sora lifts her up for a third but Peach elbows out of the waist lock, runs against the ropes, and this time successfully takes Sora down with a Diving Crossbody! Peach goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 Sora kicks out! Peach slams her hand on the mat in frustration! Peach runs against the ropes again but Sora jumps over her on the bounceback. Peach runs towards Sora again and is met by a Soracanrana from Sora!!! The crowd erupts into cheers as Sora points at the top turnbuckle!

“Sora signaling that the end is near!” Early observed.

Sora climbs up to the top turnbuckle, sizes Peach up. . .takes off for the Shooting Star Press. . .but Peach raises her knees up and Sora lands right into them! Sora sells her chest in pain as Peach now climbs onto the top turnbuckle! Peach takes off and lands the Peach Press onto Sora!!! Peach goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!!!

“She got her! New Women’s Champion!” called Early.

Peach rises up to her feet, laughing in celebration as the referee raises her arm above her head!

“The winner of this match. . .AND NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WOMEN’S CHAMPION. . .PEACH!!!”

The referee hands Peach the belt and she raises it above her head. Sora gets up to one knee, and catches her breath before standing up. Peach turns to look at her and extends her hand for a handshake. Sora looks around at the crowd, and shakes Peach’s hand as the crowd applauds.

“And good sportsmanship here after a solid outing between---“ Early started to say, until suddenly Peach pulled Sora closer to her and took her out with a DDT!

“OH COME ON!!!” Early screamed. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???”

“Completely classless, is what it was! Peach just wanted to rub her win in Sora’s face!” Shake said, disgusted.

“The Super Mario Syndicate now has the Women’s title!”

Peach then put the Women’s title belt around her waist! She left the ring and strutted down the ramp, staring down Sora and laughing in celebration the whole way. Sora got up to her knees and stared back at her, angrily.

Meanwhile, backstage, Tai stood in a hallway wearing the Television title around his waist. He looked at something off-screen with a pissed-off look on his face as Squidward walked up to him with a microphone.

“Tai. . .” Squidward said, “. . .your wife Sora just lost the Women’s Championship to Peach just now, and was attacked after the match. If I may ask, what’s going through your head as you prepare to face Luigi with your Television title on the line?”

Tai turned to look at Squidward.

“Squidward. . .” Tai said, “. . .we all know that titles are here in XCW to be won. Sora and I are 22 years old, we have our whole careers ahead of us in XCW, another title reign isn’t out of the question. But when somebody screws with my reason of living, that person doesn’t go unpunished. The last thing I would do is fight a woman, so come our match tonight, Luigi will have a message to deliver to Peach and the rest of the Syndicate: you disrespect my wife. . .you disrespect me!”

Tai stormed off as the show went to a commercial break.

“Amerika” by Rammstein played as Solid Snake, Scorpion, and Sub-Zero stride down the ramp and enter the ring to a mixed reaction from the audience.

“The following handicap match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, the team of Solid Snake, Scorpion, and Sub-Zero!!!”

“I’m. . .not sure what that was, Shake!” Early said in surprise.

“Yeah! Tai’s a good, calm guy!” Shake said. “To see him angry like that is unusual.”

"Bad Man" by Jim Johnston plays as Garfield and Jon Arbuckle walk down the ramp to boos from the crowd, with Jon coaching Garfield, whose focus was only on the ring.

“Now THIS man being angry doesn’t shock me!” Shake said.

“And their opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle. . .now hailing from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“At the CWF Supershow, Garfield had the most eliminations out of every wrestler that represented XCW in the 40-man over-the-top rope battle royal!” 

“But why is he angry now?” Shake asked, knowingly. “You guessed it, he didn’t win the battle royal! And considering two of his opponents are former Hardcore champions, I’d say his winning streak in an XCW arena just might end tonight!”

As Garfield stepped over the top ropes, the bell rings and the match starts with Solid Snake and Scorpion hammering away on Garfield with right hands, while Sub-Zero puts Garfield in a wrist-lock. Sub-Zero wrenches Garfield’s arm while Solid Snake and Scorpion try to pick Garfield up for a double spinebuster, only to let go of it, each selling their lower back in pain. 

“Has anyone in XCW been able to pick Garfield off the ground?” Shake asked.

“Not to my knowledge, Shake!” Early answered.

Sub-Zero continues to stretch the arm of Garfield until he lifts Sub-Zero with his arm, and throws him into Solid Snake and Scorpion, knocking them down!

“Good Lord!” Early exclaimed. “What strength!”

Garfield picks Solid Snake up and raises him above his head. Scorpion and Sub-Zero run towards him only for Garfield to take them both down with a big boot! Garfield bench presses Solid Snake above his head until Snake falls out of the hold, grabbing onto his neck for a sleeper hold! Garfield starts to fall to his knees!

“The big man is going down!!! Can this be??? Will this be---“ Early called excitedly!

Garfield suddenly stands back up and falls on his back, slamming Snake to the mat! Scorpion and Sub-Zero run towards Garfield as he gets up and knock him back down to the mat with a double spear! 

“He’s down!” Early screamed. “He’s down! Cover!”

Scorpion and Sub-Zero cover Garfield 1. . .

Garfield powers out of the cover, sending Scorpion and Sub-Zero flying and landing face-first on the mat! Garfield gets up to his feet and grabs Scorpion and Sub-Zero by the throat! Garfield lifts them both up for a double chokeslam as Snake charges towards him! Garfield drops Scorpion and Sub-Zero, then pushes Snake into the corner, and slaps his chest with a massive chop! Scorpion and Sub-Zero charge at him again, but Garfield grabs them both by the throat and this time successfully takes them down with a double chokeslam! Garfield then picks Solid Snake up to his feet and chokeslams him on top of Scorpion and Sub-Zero!

Garfield covers all three men! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“Here is your winner. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“For a minute I had hope. . .but this Garfield is just unstoppable!!” Early said.

The referee starts to raise Garfield’s arm in victory, but he shoves him out of the way. Garfield picks Solid Snake up and lifts him above his head before throwing him chest and face first onto the ringside area!! 

“Good Lord! He won the match! Somebody stop this madness!” Early demanded.

Scorpion gets up to his feet and Garfield locks eyes on to him.

“No, Scorpion! Just stay down!” Shake cried.

Garfield puts Scorpion into a Cathug while stepping on Sub-Zero, who screams and coughs in pain!

“Will anyone stop this man?” Shake asked.

Garfield drops Scorpion to the mat and gets off of Sub-Zero as Jon Arbuckle comes into the ring. He raises Garfield’s arm in victory!

“The question isn’t will anyone stop him. . .” Early said, “. . .CAN anyone stop him?”

Backstage, Space Ghost walked down a hallway and came to a soda machine. Squidward Tentacles walked up to him with a microphone in hand.

“Space Ghost. . .” Squidward said, “. . .with a victory in the Lottery Lumberjack match and Claude Speed regaining the Hardcore title, would you say that XCW succeeded in making itself known in the animated wrestling world, despite Mario’s loss?”

“Oh, XCW is on the map, all right.” Space Ghost said confidently. “But mark my words, the main event will be a good one tonight, Squiddy. You will never see it coming!”

Space Ghost walked off, leaving Squidward looking confused as the show went to a commercial break.

“What the hell does Space Ghost mean by that?” Early wondered.

“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Championship!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi runs onto the stage to boos from the crowd, as he raised a peace sign above his head, towards the ring.

“Introducing first, representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .LUIGI!!!”

“Aside from Peach winning the Women’s title tonight, the men in the Super Mario Syndicate have shown that they’ve been all talk from what we’ve seen from them tonight.” Early said.

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage plays as Tai runs down the stage to cheers from the crowd, focusing only on the ring.

“And his opponent, from Tokyo, Japan, he is the XCW Television Champion. . .TAI KAMIYA!” 

“Tai showed us a completely different side of him earlier tonight following Sora’s victory!” Shake said.

“No kidding!” Early said. “Tai looks like he’s out to destroy Luigi right now!”

Tai slides into the ring and nails Luigi with right hand after right hand, as the bell rings and the match begins! Tai goes for another right hand but Luigi pushes him away and ties him up. Luigi puts Tai in a front face lock and lifts him up for a suplex, but Tai counters out of it and puts Luigi in a waist-lock. Tai lifts him up for a German suplex but Luigi falls out of it and picks Tai’s legs up from under him, sending him to land face-first on the mat! Luigi goes for a bridge pin 1. . .Tai immediately kicks out, flipping Luigi off him, and landing on his feet! Tai puts Luigi into a side headlock, wrenching Luigi’s neck before picking up and slamming him with a Fireman’s Carry. Tai goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicks out.

“A solid contest early on between these two technical wrestlers!” Early called.

Tai puts Luigi in a headlock and lifts himself and Luigi up off the mat, then takes him down with a neckbreaker. Tai then runs towards the ropes and takes down Luigi with a springboard moonsault! Tai goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicks out, and rolls Tai over for a pinfall attempt of his own! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicks out!

Tai and Luigi are back on their feet and get into another tie-up. This time Luigi gets out of it by putting Tai into a side headlock. Tai, however, forces Luigi against the ropes and pushes Luigi forward, getting out of the hold. Luigi bounces off the ropes and Tai catches him with Flying Headscissors on the bounceback! Luigi gets up and goes for a clothesline but Tai spins behind Luigi and takes him down with a back drop! Tai goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicks out!

Tai gets up and taunts Luigi to get up, as he does, Tai jumps up and goes for a Hurricanrana but Luigi catches him and takes him down with a powerbomb. Luigi stomps on Bugs’ chest and then hits him with a falling elbow. Luigi runs to a corner, climbs up the top turnbuckle and hits Tai with an Elbow Drop! Luigi goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 Tai kicks out!!!

“NO WAY!” Shake yelled.

“Luigi can’t believe it!” Early said.

Luigi gets off Tai, his eyes wide in shock! Luigi then stands above Tai and puts him in the Boston Crab! Tai cringes in pain as he crawls towards the ropes. The referee asks him if he wants to quit, but Tai shakes his head no. He inches closer and closer to the ropes. . .and grabs onto the bottom rope successfully! The referee forces Luigi to break the hold. Luigi goes for the cover while Tai’s down 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 TAI KICKS OUT!!! 

Luigi sizes Tai up, taunting for him to get up. Tai slowly rises to his feet, and Luigi picks him up for the Gory Bob-Omb, but Tai counters it into a Frankensteiner pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 Luigi kicks out! Tai kneels in the corner, thinking of what to do next, while Luigi pushes himself back up to his feet. Luigi charges at Tai in the corner, but Tai spins out of the way and Luigi runs right into the middle rope! As Luigi stumbles out of the corner, Tai puts Luigi in a waist-lock and takes him down with a German suplex! Tai holds onto Luigi’s waist as he picks him up and takes him down with another German suplex!

“Just pure athleticism from our Television champion!” Early observed.

Tai picks Luigi up and connects with one more German suplex! Tai then jumps onto the top turnbuckle and connects with the Tai Dive onto Luigi! Tai goes for the pin. . .

1\. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! (Bell rings)

Tai gets off Luigi and the crowd erupts into cheers! The referee raises Tai’s arm in victory.

“The winner of this match. . .AND STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

The referee hands Tai the Television title belt and he climbs onto the top turnbuckle and raises the belt towards the fans.

“Tai won a hard-fought contest, retaining the Television Championship!” Early said.

“What a match!” Shake exclaimed. “And we’ve still got the World title match left!”

Meanwhile, in a locker room, Mario did some stretches until Peach entered the room.

“Hey Oogie! Look at me!” Peach said flirtatiously.

Peach flaunts the Women’s title belt around her waist towards Mario, who continues to stretch, not paying any attention to Peach. 

“I’m the new Women’s Champion!!!” Peach said.

Mario continues stretching, not even looking at Peach.

“You’re so bitter about losing at the Supershow, and so worried about Bugs, that you don’t even want to celebrate your wife’s first title win?” Peach asked in disbelief. “I know the momentum is in his favor now, but---“

Mario stops stretching and drapes the World title over his shoulder.

“Look, I’m not bitter!” Mario assured. “And there’s a plan in place for tonight! Don’t worry, you’ll see. And after the match tonight, we’ll come back here and celebrate our victories. I promise!”

Peach smiles and gets into a brief kiss on the lips with Mario. Mario then left the locker room as the show went to a commercial break.

“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .is your XCW Main Event of the evening. . .and it is for. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

"What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny plays as Bugs Bunny poses on the stage then walks down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!”

“Like Peach said earlier, Bugs is riding a huge wave of momentum since the last episode of Massacre!” Early said.

Bugs enters the ring and poses on the turnbuckle.

“With that night ending with the XCW World title in his hand, and an interpromotional victory on CWF turf, there’s no doubt in my mind that everything has been going Bugs’ way, and will continue to do so!” Shake guaranteed.

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario runs onto the stage to boos from the crowd, raising the World title belt above his head, towards the ring.

“And his opponent. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom, he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .MARIO!!!”

“On the opposite end of the spectrum, here’s our World Heavyweight Champion, who was presented as the face of XCW.” Early said.

By now Mario is in the ring and climbing on top of each turnbuckle, raising the title belt above his head.

“He failed to win the Champions Battle Royal, making Space Ghost, our commissioner, look foolish for all those attacks he planned on Bugs and his friends! But with a win tonight, that all could change.” Shake said.

“All the pressure is on our World Heavyweight Champion!” Early said.

With the World title belt in hand, Mario stares down Bugs in the center of the ring as a referee runs down the ramp and enters the ring, whispering something to Plankton.

“What’s going on here?” Shake asked.

The referee stands in the center of the ring.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it has been brought to my attention that, per the orders of Commissioner Space Ghost. . .that this contest now has NO DISQUALIFICATION!!!”

The crowd erupts into gasps as Bugs stands shocked in the center of the ring, while Mario stares at him with a sick smile on his face.

“WHAT???” Shake yelled.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME???” Early exclaimed in disbelief!

The bell rings and the match starts with Mario trying to hit Bugs in the face with the World title belt but Bugs dodges it and nails Mario in the back of the head with an elbow! Mario drops the belt and tackles Bugs to the mat, hitting him with right hand after right hand as they both roll out of the ring to the concrete floor below! They brawl on the floor until Mario gets off Bugs and brings him to his feet. Mario starts to Irish whip Bugs into the steel steps but Bugs hangs on to Mario’s arm and Irish whips him into the steps! Bugs then charges towards Mario and hits him with a running knee to the face against the steps! Bugs then puts Mario in a headlock and drags him towards the crumbled announce table. Mario elbows Bugs in the gut and breaks out of the hold. Mario runs towards Bugs and takes him down with a clothesline! Mario then grabs Bugs by the ears and drags him onto the crumbled announce table. Mario brings Bugs up to his knees and violently slaps him in front of Early and Master Shake.

“He’s just all-out embarrassing Bugs at this point! You’re a real class act, Mario!” Early yelled at Mario.

Mario gets into Early’s face and says a few choice words to him. Mario turns away from them and slaps Bugs again, knocking him to the ground.

“You’re only setting World champions back 20 years!” Early finished.

Mario picks Bugs up and goes to Irish whip him into the timekeeper’s booth but Bugs counters it with an Irish whip of his own, sending Mario into the barricade next to the timekeeper’s booth! Bugs then grabs one of the TV monitors laying on the ground. He runs towards Mario, aiming it at his head but Mario spins out of the way, sending Bugs flying into the booth! Mario then raises his hand in a peace sign towards the crowd, who boo at him ravenously. Mario turns around to look back at the timekeeper’s booth and gets hit in the face by Bugs, holding the ring bell! Bugs throws the bell down to the concrete and picks Mario up, his face now bleeding. Bugs knees Mario in the gut and sets him up for the Bunny Bomb on the remains of the announce table! Bugs picks Mario up, but Mario falls out of it, and takes Bugs down with a neckbreaker!

“Good God! Right on what’s left of our table!” Early said.

“I have a feeling these two want to kill each other!” Shake observed.

“Space Ghost might!” Early said. “He made the match into a no-disqualification match!”

Mario gets back up and repeatedly stomps on Bugs until he grabs Mario’s foot and sweeps his legs out from under him, sending him back-first onto the concrete! Bugs slowly rises to his feet and Mario gets up as well. They both get into a tie-up and Mario goes for a Snap Suplex but Bugs counters out of the hold and chops Mario until he is up against the steel steps. Bugs goes for another chop but Mario blocks it and takes Bugs down with a belly-to-belly side slam! Mario then grabs Bugs’ legs, and slingshots Bugs into the steel post, his head making a sickening collision into the post! 

“Good grief! The pain must be excruciating!” Early cried.

“He’ll feel that one in the morning!” Shake commented.

Mario grabs Bugs by his feet and drags him to the ring apron. Mario continues to stomp on Bugs until Bugs slowly pulls himself up by holding onto Mario’s overalls; his face now busted open! Bugs misses a right hand onto Mario, and Mario spears Bugs against the ring apron. Bugs yells in pain before Mario slides him into the ring under the bottom rope. Mario gets in the ring too and goes for the cover.

“It’s gotta be over.” Early said, as the referee makes the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5. . .KICKOUT!!!

Mario gets up and stares Bugs down in surprised anger.

“How close was that?” Early asked.

Mario sits over Bugs again and hits him in the face with right hand after right hand. Mario goes for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicks out again! Mario looks down at him angrily! Mario gets up to his feet and runs against the ropes while Bugs slowly gets up to his knees. On the bounceback, Mario goes for a knee to the face but Bugs moves out of the way, and Mario bounces off the ropes again. Bugs is now up to his feet, waiting for Mario to bounce back to him. . .until Mario grabs onto the ropes on the opposite side of the ring once he gets to them. Bugs then stomps towards Mario and they get into a tie-up. Bugs puts Mario into a wrist-lock and takes him down with an arm drag! Bugs then puts Mario into a waist lock and puts him in a Full Nelson Stretch, only for Mario to fight out of it, spin around to face Bugs and take him down with a DDT! Mario goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 BUGS KICKS OUT!!! Mario slaps his hand on the mat repeatedly in frustration! Mario then grabs Bugs’ legs and puts him into the Boston Crab! Bugs screams in pain as the referee asks him if he wants to quit. Bugs shakes his head no, the blood pouring down his face as he crawls towards the ropes! Bugs extends his hand out to the bottom rope. . .but Mario drags Bugs back to the center of the ring! Bugs starts to fade, his hand only inches above the mat. . .

“Bugs doesn’t have much left. . .wait a MINUTE! THERE’S DAFFY DUCK!!!” Early cried, as Daffy Duck from out of nowhere climbs onto the top turnbuckle and takes Mario down with a missile dropkick!

“DAFFY DUCK! SAVING HIS FORMER RIVAL!!!” Early exclaimed, while Daffy Duck sized Mario up and takes him down with the Killswitch! Daffy stands in the ring, encouraging Bugs as he inches over to Mario. Bugs drapes his arm over Mario for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . . .

. . .

. . . . .2.9 MARIO KICKS OUT!!!!

Then down the ramp come Luigi and Wario! Elmer Fudd then runs into the ring from the crowd and he and Daffy brawl with Wario and Luigi!

“I don’t believe it! The Syndicate and the Looney Tunes are waging a war!” observed Early.

“And there’s nothing anyone can do about it!” reminded Shake. “It’s no disqualification!”

Wario Irish whips Elmer out of the ring and they brawl around the ringside area, while Daffy and Luigi fight in a corner. Mario and Bugs rise to their feet and hit each other with right hand after right hand! Bugs evades a right hand, picks Mario up, and takes him down with a Scoop Slam! Bugs then looks around at the crowd as they roar with cheers! Bugs climbs up to the top rope, slaps his elbow three times and connects with the Acme Elbow Drop onto Mario! 

“BUGS HAS GOT HIM!!!” Early screamed.

Luigi slams Daffy’s face into the turnbuckle and Irish whips him out of the ring while Bugs covers Mario!

“GOING FOR THE COVER!” Early yelled in excitement! “HOOKING THE LEG!!!”

The referee makes the count 1. . .

. . . .

. . .2. . .

. . . . .

. . .2.9 LUIGI BREAKS UP THE THREE COUNT WITH AN ELBOW TO BUGS! 

Luigi rolls out of the ring with Bugs staring him down. Bugs turns around and receives a Jawbreaker from Mario! Mario then points to the top turnbuckle and climbs up it. Mario taunts the crowd, then connects with the Super Mario Splash onto Bugs! Mario sells his abdomen as he crawls in for the cover! 

The referee makes the count 1. . . .

. . . . .

. . . 2. . . .

.. . . . .

. . . .3!!!!

Mario rolls off Bugs and looks up at the ceiling, gasping for breath.

“DAMN IT! MARIO STOLE ONE AGAIN!!!” Early yelled in anger.

The referee sets the World title belt on Mario’s chest and raises his arm in victory.

“The winner of this match. . .AND STILL XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. . .MARIO!!!!”

“Shades of the first Massacre!” Shake said. “Bugs came so close to victory, so close to winning the World title, but Mario wins it at the last second!!!”

“And this time, he had a little help from the Syndicate, and the Commissioner making it a No-Disqualification match!” Shake said.

Mario rolls out of the ring as Luigi and Wario keep Mario on his feet, walking up the ramp. Daffy and Elmer slide into the ring and check on Bugs, who pushes himself up to stare Mario down with a sneer.

“Still, with Daffy and Elmer now getting involved, I have a feeling that this is far from over between Mario and Bugs!” Shake foreboded.

“You may be right Shake!” Early said. “What’s gonna happen tomorrow night on Massacre? Thank you for being with us for XCW’s first ever pay-per-view! Good night everyone, from Springfield!”

Mario raises the World title belt above his head, taunting Bugs with it as Whiplash goes off the air!

Results:

Ren & Stimpy defeated Wario & Donkey Kong (Retain Tag titles)  
Yuna defeated Daisy  
Claude Speed defeated Spike Spiegel (Retains Hardcore title)  
Peach defeated Sora Takenouchi (New Women’s Champion)  
Garfield defeated Solid Snake, Scorpion and Sub-Zero  
Tai defeated Luigi (Retains Television title)  
Mario defeated Bugs Bunny (Retains World title)

Alright, Whiplash has come to a close. The next edition of Massacre will come soon. In the meantime, RATE AND REVIEW!


	6. XCW Massacre: February Week 1

Ok guys! Here’s the newest edition of XCW Massacre! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme plays over fireworks going off on the titantron as hundreds of fans cheer and hold up signs of different colors.

“We are fresh off the heels of our first-ever pay-per-view, Whiplash! What repercussions will take place tonight, following the results of the World Heavyweight title match? Welcome to Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and we are live from The Earthrealm, and Shake, I have a good feeling about tonight’s show!”

“So do I, partner!” Shake said. “Tonight Jet Black tries to avenge for the beating his friend Spike Spiegel took at the hands of his opponent last night at Whiplash: the Hardcore Champion, Claude Speed!”

“Claude putting the Hardcore title on the line, here tonight!” informed Early.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome, Bugs Bunny!!!”

"What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny played as Bugs Bunny poses on the stage then walks down the ramp to cheers from the crowd. He has a bandage on his forehead from where he was busted open at Whiplash.

“But we start off the night with a few words from Bugs Bunny!”

Bugs entered the ring and posed on the turnbuckle.

“Bugs came close to winning the XCW World Heavyweight title yet again last night, in a match that was turned into a No Disqualification match at the last minute, thanks to our Commissioner Space Ghost!” Shake said.

Bugs grabs a microphone from the timekeeper and paces across the ring.

“What’s up, Earthrealm?” Bugs said, to cheers from the crowd. “So. . .last night. . .was not what I expected. At any rate, congratulations to Mario for retaining the World title. . .and the members of the Super Mario Syndicate. . .and Commissioner Space Ghost.”

“You see, the Super Mario Syndicate and Space Ghost. . .their goal was to prove that Mario and the Syndicate were the greatest World Champion and stable in all of animated wrestling. Well, at Whiplash, they did prove that he is the greatest at some things. For one, they proved that Mario is more than just a champion at life. . .he’s a champion at being a coward. You don’t want to face your challenger one-on-one like a man in a straight-up match, and prove to the world and all you fans that you can beat me? Hell, your wife won the Women’s title with nobody’s help! What does that make you?”

“Another thing Mario is a champion of. . .is a champion of manipulation! Let me to tell you something, when this company was first formed, and Mario was signed here, you know what he did? He went to the office of our Space Ghost, our commissioner, brought in all his kart-racing trophies, golf trophies, soccer trophies, what-have-you, shoved them in Space Ghost’s face, and said ‘Make me the best in your company because I can’t do it myself!’ Space Ghost looked at Mario and his trophies, and immediately saw dollar signs! I don’t need to shove trophies and accolades into someone’s face in order to prove my worth! I prove my worth here, in this ring, night in and night out, wrestling my heart out, in front of all of you!” 

“But you know what Mario proved most of all last night? He proved that---“ Bugs said, until suddenly "Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario walks onto the stage with the World title belt over his shoulder, and a bandage on his forehead. The crowd booed heavily.

“What I proved last night. . .” Mario said, “. . .is that I can win under the circumstances given to me, Bugs! Not only did I beat you in a no-disqualification match, I mopped the floor with you in a no-disqualification match! And you’re one to talk about proving your worth in the ring! Your friends interfered on the same level as mine, when I had you close to tapping out!”

“And I didn’t need to show Space Ghost my accomplishments in order to get signed onto this company! When I first interviewed with him, my mere presence alone was enough to show that with me, XCW would reach the promised land! And sure enough, we are well on our way there! Thanks to me! Your XCW World. . .Heavyweight. . .Champion----“ Mario said, until Bugs interrupted him.

“---well I should be the World Heavyweight Champion! I deserve to be World Heavyweight Champion! And I can beat you one-on-one for it! I know it, you know it, the Syndicate knows it, and all these people here know it!”

“Oh really? So you want a rematch?” Mario asked.

“I want more than just a rematch, Mario.” Bugs said. “I want you in a match, where there can be no interference. . .no excuses. . .and no place to hide.”

Mario stares down Bugs with a puzzled look on his face.

“Mario. . .” Bugs said intensely, “. . .at Doomsday, I want you for the XCW World Heavyweight title. . .in a STEEL CAGE MATCH!!!”

The crowd erupts into cheers and gasps. Mario looks around in disbelief.

“A Cage match???” Mario asked.

“Then we’ll see who’s the best out of both of us!”

“No!” Mario answered. “How barbaric are you to even think of something like that? I’m not about to lower myself to your level! I’m a champion of life!”

“Doc,” Bugs asked, “. . .are you sure you’re a Champion of Life and not a Champion of Cowardice?”

On the titantron, Space Ghost appeared sitting at his desk in his office.

“Gentlemen, that is enough!” said the Commissioner. ‘The idea of a steel cage match is, no doubt intriguing! Mario, I was reluctant to help you last night considering your failure to win at the Supershow, so consider yourself on thin ice!”

Mario looked up at the titantron, and screamed “WHAT?” in surprise!

“And as for you, Bugs. . .” Space Ghost continued, “. . .like always, in order to get what you want. . .you have to earn it. So tonight, you’re going to compete in a match where, should you win, you get your steel cage match against Mario at Doomsday! However, you have to defeat a man who has made strides since the birth of this company. . .a man who in my mind, has nothing but BIG things coming to him as XCW progresses. Tonight, Bugs, you are going to face. . .

. . .GARFIELD!!!”

The crowd booed heavily as Bugs looked up at the titantron, shocked.

“Good luck to you!” Space Ghost said as he signed off of the titantron. Bugs and Mario stare each other down, with Mario raising the title belt over his head as the show went to a commercial break.

Welcoming the audience back from break, Early said, “We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, the odds continue to favor against Bugs Bunny. In order for Bugs to get a rematch against Mario for the World title inside a steel cage at Doomsday, he has to defeat Garfield: a man who has just torn through the roster here in XCW!”

“With the odds against him, Bugs rode a wave of momentum into Whiplash last night, but tonight, I have my doubts he’ll have the same luck.” Shake said.

“The following contest is a number one contender’s match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Championships! Introducing first, representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .the team of DONKEY KONG AND WARIO!!!”

Umaga's WWE theme played as Wario and Donkey Kong strode down the ramp and entered the ring to boos from the crowd.

“Last night Wario and Donkey Kong came close to defeating Ren and Stimpy for the tag titles!” informed Early.

“While they came close to tasting victory and gold last night, after the match Donkey Kong got a big taste of wood when Ren and Stimpy put him through our announce table!” Shake said.

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio plays and the lights dim in the arena. Once the heavy guitars kick on, pyro explodes on the stage and Ed and Edd jump onto the stage from below it, to a standing ovation.

“And their opponents. . .from Peach Creek. . .the team of ED and DOUBLE D. . .TEAM ED!!!”

“We haven’t seen much of the Team Formerly Known as The Erupting Eds since the first edition of Massacre!” Early said. “But tonight could be the beginning of this team’s rise up the ranks in the tag team division of XCW!”

Ed and Edd run down the ramp making the name 'Ed' with their hands. They slide into the ring and climb on each turnbuckle.

“You got that right!” Shake said. “I had a chance to speak with them before the night even started, and they had this message to say to their opponents tonight. . .”

The show transitioned to a backstage area, where Ed and Edd stood in front of a green screen.

“Wario and Donkey Kong!” Edd said. “Let me just say that Ed and I did not appreciate being buried by the Super Mario Syndicate at all! We are former tag team champions in this industry, and don’t take kindly to being looked over in favor of random pairings such as yourselves! Look for us to use this as enough motivation we need to strive for a much-deserved victory tonight! Ed, do you have anything to add on to this?”

Ed blankly stared at the camera before screaming “TITLE MATCH FOR ED!!!”

Ed ran off screen through a wall as Edd looked back at Shake.

“. . .he does that.” said an embarrassed Edd.

Back in the ring, Ed and Edd got pumped up in their corner.

“We saw a rather. . .overeager side to Ed just now.” said Early.

“Yeah and the lump ran off so fast, I ended up paying for the wall repair!” Shake added.

The bell rings and the match begins with Edd facing off against Wario. Wario ties Edd up and Irish whips him into the corner. Edd bounces off it and is met by a shoulder block from Wario. Wario picks Edd up and pulls him into the corner, hitting him with repeated punches to the gut. Wario then rams his shoulder into Ed’s chest repeatedly, sending him to fall into a seated position. Wario runs to the opposite corner and taunts the crowd, who boo in return. Wario runs towards Edd and abruptly turns around, slamming his backside into Edd’s head! Wario goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Edd kicks out! 

After an elbow to the chest, Wario tags in Donkey Kong. Wario holds Edd up and Donkey Kong chops him in the sternum, sending him face-down to the mat. Donkey Kong picks Edd up to his feet and Irish whips him towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Donkey Kong goes for a clothesline but Edd dodges it, and bounces off the ropes behind Donkey Kong, then jumps onto Donkey Kong’s shoulders, slamming his head against the mat! Edd struggles to turn Donkey Kong over on his back before going for the cover 1. . .Donkey Kong powers out of the cover! 

“Who do you think Ren and Stimpy would rather face at Doomsday: Team Ed or the Syndicate?” Shake asked.

Backstage, Ren and Stimpy watched the match at a TV with their tag title belts over their shoulders.

“They’ve beaten both teams before, Shake, so I don’t think it matters to them who they face!” Early answered.

Edd runs over to his corner and makes the tag to Ed! Ed enters the ring and kicks Donkey Kong in the gut. Ed runs against the ropes behind him and takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Ed gets back up and taunts for Donkey Kong to get up. He does, and Ed puts him in a front face lock. Donkey Kong pushes Ed out of the hold, towards the ropes. Donkey Kong misses another clothesline, and Ed bounces off the ropes again to take down Donkey Kong with a shoulder block! Ed gets up again and Irish whips Donkey Kong into Team Ed’s corner. Ed tags in Edd, who takes Donkey Kong down with a Jumping Tornado DDT! 

Edd went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Donkey Kong powered out of the cover again! 

Donkey Kong gets up to his feet and ties up Edd before powering him into the Syndicate’s corner and tagging in Wario. Wario gets into the ring and he and Donkey Kong mudhole stomp Edd in the corner. Donkey Kong picks Edd up and takes him down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Edd sells his lower back, screaming in pain. Edd struggles to his feet and jumps up for a hurricanrana on Donkey Kong, but he grabs Edd in time and takes him down with a powerbomb. Donkey Kong sizes Edd up as he stumbles up to his feet, and takes him down with a Full Nelson Slam. Donkey Kong lets out a roar as the crowd boos. Donkey Kong picks Edd up and locks him in the torture rack! Edd writhes in pain but shakes his head in refusing to tap out! Ed suddenly climbs onto the top turnbuckle and takes down Donkey Kong with a flying Clothesline, with Edd falling on top of him for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Wario breaks up the three count! 

The referee orders Ed to get back in his corner, but Ed lunges toward Wario and takes him out with a Spear before rolling out of the ring. Edd rises to his feet and Donkey Kong runs towards him a takedown but accidentally hits Wario! Donkey Kong turns around and Edd Irish whips him face-first into Team Ed’s corner! Edd then tags in Ed, who takes Donkey Kong down with three consecutive headbutts from the ring apron! Ed then jumps over all three ropes and does Randy Orton’s wake-up taunt as a dazed Donkey Kong rises to his feet. Ed picks Donkey Kong up. . .

“OH MY GOD! YOU’RE KIDDING ME! WHAT STRENGTH!” screamed Early in amazement!

Ed takes Donkey Kong down with an Eledrifier! Ed goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

“AN ELEDRIFIER ON A SUPER HEAVYWEIGHT FOR THE VICTORY!!!” screamed Early, as the bell rang and Ed ran around the ring in celebration.

“Here are your winners. . .TEAM ED!!!”

The referee raises Ed and Edd’s arms in victory. Breathing heavily in intensity, Ed then signals for a microphone from the timekeeper. Edd tries to hold Ed’s arm back from putting the microphone up to his mouth but to no avail.

“REN AND STIMPY!!!” yelled Ed. “We have a message to send to both of you! What you just saw was exactly what we can do to our opponents! You need three things to be the tag team champions: You need strength. . .which I have! You need smarts. . .which. . .ummm. . . . . . .Double D has! And you especially need the energy and stamina to keep up with us, and it is THIS that you lack! Come Doomsday, we will be the new Tag champions, and so will begin. . .the AGE. . .OF. . .ED!!!”

Ed then did the D-X crotch chop and threw the microphone down onto the mat. Edd pushed Ed out of the ring, as Ed intensely yelled in happiness.

“Ed sending a message to the Tag Team champions!” Early observed.

“At the expense of Edd’s dignity!” added Shake.

Meanwhlie, backstage, Tai and Sora stood on opposite sides of their locker room, arguing with each other.

“I don’t have a match tonight, so I’ve got nothing better to do!” Tai insisted. “That and the way Peach tricked you last night still doesn’t sit well with me.”

“I understand your concern, but I don’t want or need you to come out with me to my match!”

“Why, Sora? I don’t want anything like that to happen to you again!

“Look, it only makes us look bad if you get involved in my business in the women’s division, and it makes you look even worse because you’re the TV champion! You did your part last night in retaining your title; that was enough to avenge for me.” Sora said as she stepped face-to-face with Tai and patted the back of his head with her hand.

“I can take care of myself out there tonight.” Sora assured. “I’ll be right back.”

“’kay. . .Good luck!” Tai said, as Sora left the room.

Tai sat back down onto a folding chair as a replay of the Bugs/Mario promo from earlier played on TV. Tai shook his head angrily.

“Something must be done. . .” Tai said to himself as the show went to a commercial break.

Back in the ring, Plankton stood with a microphone.

“The following contest is a women’s tag team match, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine plays as Sora runs onto the stage, raising her arms above her head towards the crowd, who cheered her on. 

“Sora’s coming off not only the loss of the Women’s Championship last night, but also off a cheap shot afterwards!” Early said.

Sora climbs onto a turnbuckle and poses, raising her arms towards the fans in a pose.

“After winning the title last night, Peach made it very clear that she, in her mind, will be a better Women’s Champion than Sora!” Shake said in belief.

"Simple and Clean" by Utada Hikaru played as Yuna strutted down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“And her partner. . .from Besaid. . .YUNA!” 

“Yuna defeated Daisy in a solid one-on-one bout last night, and has the Women’s championship next in her sights!” said Early.

“She’ll get another shot at Daisy tonight, and a first look at the new Women’s Champion! Shake added.

“Brackish” by Kittie played as Peach and Daisy strutted down the ramp, with Peach motioning her hands over the Women’s title belt around her waist to boos from the crowd.

“And their opponents. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .the team of DAISY, AND THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WOMEN’S CHAMPION. . .PEACH!!!”

“Peach and Mario can now make their case as XCW’s power couple, holding both the World Heavyweight title and the Women’s title.” Early said.

Peach blew a kiss to the referee as she took off the Women’s title belt.

“Mario and Peach may hold the gold, but Tai and Sora are the better performers, both in the ring and out. I can’t wait for the day the two teams face off in the ring against each other!” Shake said.

“A dream match of sorts already in the air here in XCW!” Early said as the bell rang.

The match begins with Sora facing off against Daisy. They get into a tie-up and Sora puts Daisy in a side headlock. Daisy pushes Sora against the ropes and fights out of the hold. However, Sora hangs onto the ropes as Daisy runs across the ring. On the bounceback, Sora takes Daisy down with Flying Headscissors! Daisy immediately gets back up to her feet and charges towards Sora, driving her into the corner. Daisy hits her with right hand after right hand until Sora falls into a seated position in the corner. Daisy runs to the opposite corner, raises a peace sign to the crowd who boos at her, then runs towards the other corner and hits Sora with a Bronco Buster! Daisy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicks out.

Daisy picks Sora up and drags her to her corner. Daisy tags in Peach who enters the ring to a chorus of boos from the crowd. Peach and Daisy Irish whip Sora towards the ropes and take her down with a double arm drag on the bounceback. Peach then puts Sora in an abdominal stretch! Sora writhes in pain while Peach screams “Tap out, bitch!” 

 

“The Women’s Champion with some choice words to her newfound rival!” Early said.

“A high-class woman like Peach using foul language likes that. . .only makes her hotter, in my opinion!” said Shake.

The referee asks Sora if she wants to quit but she shakes her head no. Sora writhes in pain for a minute more until she plants her feet on the mat and lifts Peach up, but she doesn’t let go of the hold. . .until Sora counters out of it and takes Peach down with a neckbreaker! Sora crawls toward Yuna for a tag as Yuna slaps her hand repeatedly on the top turnbuckle in anticipation. Sora rises to her feet but Peach grabs one of her legs from behind. Sora turns around and takes Peach down with a spinning wheel kick! Sora dives towards Yuna and makes the tag!

Yuna jumps over the ropes and darts towards Peach and pushes her against the ropes, hitting her with chop after chop! Yuna then Irish whips Peach towards the ropes and leaps over her on the bounceback. Peach runs toward her again and is met with a jumping dropkick from Yuna! Yuna goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicks out!

Yuna picks Peach up and takes her back down to the mat with a snap suplex. Yuna then runs against the ropes, jumps over Peach and connects with a running moonsault! Yuna goes for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Peach kicks out!

Yuna sizes Peach up, taunting her to sit up. Peach sits up and Yuna immediately hits her in the face with a Shining Wizard kick! Yuna goes for the cover but Daisy distracts the referee! 

“Yuna has this match won!” Early said.

Yuna gets off Peach, runs towards the ring apron and knocks Daisy down to the ringside area! Yuna turns around only for Peach to roll her up, grabbing a handful of tights!

1\. .2. . .3!

As the bell rang, Peach got up and screamed happily in victory as Daisy slid back into the ring.

“Here are your winners. . .DAISY AND PEACH!!!”

The referee raises Peach and Daisy’s arms in victory and gives Peach the Women’s title belt. Daisy then pushes the referee out of the ring and she and Peach stomp a mudhole onto Yuna!

“Damn it! The match is over! Somebody stop this!” demanded Early.

Peach picks Yuna up and Daisy takes her down with a Jumping Tornado DDT! Peach stomps on Yuna a few more times until Sora from out of nowhere jumps from the top turnbuckle and hits Peach with a Soracanrana! 

“Payback to Peach for last night!” Early said.

Peach and Daisy roll out of the ring and taunt Sora and Daisy. Sora helps Yuna up to her feet and they taunt back at Peach and Daisy.

“The war of words between these four women are bound to continue!” Shake said as the show went to a commercial break!

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship!”

“Tank!” by The Seatbelts plays as Jet Black steps down the ramp to a mixed reaction with his chest taped up.

“Introducing first. . .from Ganymede. . .JET BLACK!!!”

“This match tonight came about after last night’s Hardcore title match: Claude Speed put a clinic on Jet Black’s friend, Spike! His actions included spearing him into an SUV, sending him face-first into said SUV’s window, and finally nailing him in the face not once, but TWICE, with a barbed-wire 2x4!” informed Early.

“And on the second hit, the 2x4 was on fire!” Shake said. “Claude ended up sending Spike to the hospital with minor burns, an injured ankle, numerous face lacerations, and of course the proverbial crimson mask! And it didn’t stop there. . .” Shake said, until he was interrupted by pyro going off on the stage!

"No Mercy" by Pharaoh Monche played as Claude Speed walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with the Hardcore title around his waist and a barbed wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand.

“And his opponent. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

Shake continued speaking after Plankton made the announcement. “. . .Jet Black tried to take Claude out as a part of XCW’s 24/7 rule on the Hardcore title, but was immediately met by the flaming 2x4 to his back and ribs! Hence why they’re taped up tonight! Personally, Early, I think avenging the beating Spike received at the hands of that man is a really bad idea!”

Claude raises the Hardcore title belt and the barbed-wire 2x4 above his head towards the crowd.

“I couldn’t agree more, Shake!” Early said. “Especially with the Hardcore title on the line!” 

The bell rings and the match starts with Jet Black going for a right hand, only for Claude to nail him in the face with the barbed-wire 2x4! 

“Oh my God!” screamed Early at the blow.

“And coming into a Hardcore match without weapons is an even worse idea!” Shake said.

Claude quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Jet kicked out!

Jet rises up to his feet, his face already bleeding. He puts Claude in a tie-up and knees him in the gut. Jet then takes Claude down with a Russian leg sweep. Claude then rolls out of the ring while Jet slides out, from the opposite side of a corner. Jet then clotheslines Claude down to the ringside floor! Jet goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicks out!

Jet looks under the ring apron and pulls out a trash can containing a kendo stick and two garbage can lids. He empties the can on the floor and picks up the kendo stick. Jet taunts for Claude to get up, but is immediately taken down by Claude with a spear! Jet clenches his taped-up chest in pain! Claude then grabs the kendo stick and repeatedly hits it onto Jet’s taped-up ribs! Jet screams in excruciating pain!

“My God!” Early said. “What brutality!” 

“He came out here tonight hurt; he brought this on himself!” Shake said.

Claude throws down the kendo stick and slides Jet back into the ring, with his head resting on the ring apron. Claude then steps onto the steel steps with the garbage can in hand and dives towards Jet, nailing him in the head with the trash can! Claude throws all the weapons on the outside into the ring and slides back in. Claude goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Jet kicks out!

Claude picks Jet up and goes to slam his head into the top turnbuckle but Jet grabs onto the ropes and elbows Claude in the face! Jet then picks up the kendo stick and nails Claude in the face with it as he turns around! Claude slowly rises to his feet, wiping his hand on his face, revealing the wound from the night before has been reopened! Claude sneers in anger as he gets on his hands and knees.

“Oh no. . .Claude’s busted open!” Shake said.

“I don’t know who that’s better for. . .Jet or Claude!” Early commented.

Jet holds the kendo stick like a baseball bat, waiting for Claude to fully get up. Jet swings the kendo stick at Claude’s head again, but Claude ducks and takes Jet down with another spear, followed by a fury of right and left hands! Claude goes for the cover 1. .. 2. . .Jet kicks out!

Claude picks Jet up to his feet and Irish whips him towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Claude ties Jet up and nails him in the face with right hands until he is backed into a corner. Claude then slams his head face-first repeatedly into the top turnbuckle. Jet stumbles around from dizziness, and is immediately met with a trash can lid to the chest, bringing Jet down to one knee, as he winces in pain. Claude then picks up the kendo stick and hits it across Jet’s back! Claude goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Jet kicks out!

Claude gets up to his feet and raises his arms above his head, with his hands in a gang sign.

“The end is near for Jet Black!” said Early.

“It couldn’t have come soon enough!” Shake said. “This has just been heinous!”

Claude picks Jet up to his feet and Irish whips him against the ropes. On the bounceback, Claude takes him down with a Lou Thesz Press, and hits him in the face with another fury of right hands! Claude gets up to his feet and lets out a scream of intensity!

Claude sizes Jet up as he gets onto one knee. . .Claude runs towards him and takes him out with a Bicycle Kick! Claude goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

The bell rang and Claude got off of Jet, who rolled out of the ring.

“And Claude with another successful title defense!” Early said as the referee raised his arm above his head in victory.

“Here is your winner. . .AND STILL the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“Early, have you ever seen anyone feed off as much brutality and punishment as Claude has?” asked Shake.

“I can’t say that I have, Shake! Regardless, from what we’ve seen of him these first couple months, Claude might be the greatest current Hardcore Champion in animated wrestling----“

Claude raises his fists above his head in victory. The referee gives him the Hardcore title belt. Claude goes to exit the ring through the middle rope until. . .

“Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley plays! Claude steps back into the ring and looks around the arena.

“Wait a minute. . .” Early said in confusion.

“What’s going on here?” Shake asked.

“You don’t think. . .”

Claude grabs his barbed-wire 2x4 and stares at the ramp, ready to strike. Suddenly Deadpool runs through the crowd, jumps over the barricade, and slides into the ring!

“NO WAY!” Shake screamed.

“IT’S DEADPOOL FROM THE WWE’S ANIMATED DIVISION!” Early yelled. “HE BEAT CLAUDE FOR THE HARDCORE TITLE AT THE CWF SUPERSHOW!!! AND NOW HE’S BACK FOR MORE!!!”

Deadpool taps Claude on the shoulder. He turns around and tries to swing the 2x4 at him but Deadpool takes Claude down with a Spinebuster! Deadpool then climbs on the top turnbuckle, sizes Claude up, and takes him down with the Dead Shot!

“I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!” screamed Early.

Deadpool then grabs a microphone from the timekeeper.

“Speed. . .” Deadpool said, “. . .nice match at Whiplash. Ya beat a Mars cowboy. I am impressed. There is NO DOUBT you are Hardcore. However, you ever get a limb cut off? Can you re-attach a limb? I only ask because I can do all that, Mr. Speed. You may be hardcore, but you're not more hardcore than me! I can slam a.tornado! I can dry up the sea! And you don't have a secret weapon like. . .this!”

Deadpool then quickly pulled out a 9mm gun! Claude tried standing up again, but Deadpool pistol whipped him in the temple, taking him back down!

“This Deadpool is a total maniac!” Early said.

“How is using a gun LEGAL in wrestling?!” Shake asked in shock!

“Whoa buddy, that felt gooooood. . .” Deadpool said. “My therapist said I needed a punching bag when releasing all this pent up stress. Speed, before I go, I just wanna say that I want to test your hardcore ability. I chose a guy from the back to face ya for that Title. I really doubt you'll win, but if you do, then see Daddy Deadpool so he can give you a real whooping. IMMORTALS!!!”

Deadpool slid out of the ring, leaving Claude laying face-up on the mat. As Deadpool walked up the ramp. . .

“CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA???” followed by Booker T’s WWE theme played and Arthur ran down the ramp with a referee!

“Oh my God!” said Early in disbelief!

“No way!” Shake said in shock.

“NO! NOT THIS WAY!” Early screamed. “GOD DAMN IT! NOT THIS WAY!!!”

Arthur and the referee slid into the ring, and Arthur went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. .2. . .3!!! (Bell rings)

“Here is your NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .ARTHUR!!!”

“I don’t believe this!” Early cried. “The Hardcore Championship is in the hands of a PBS Kid!”

“I. . .I’m speechless, Early. I really am. . .” Shake said in disbelief.

Arthur jumps for joy as the referee hands him the Hardcore title belt. Arthur then slides out of the ring and runs up the ramp.

“Deadpool wasn’t here for the Hardcore title!” Early said in realization. “He was here to embarrass Claude on XCW turf!”

Deadpool glares at Claude’s from the entranceway, while Claude stares back at him, struggling to push himself up.

Backstage, Arthur runs down a hallway until Squidward steps in front of him with a microphone.

“Arthur—-“ Squidward said, forcing Arthur to stop in his tracks.

“Crap! Squidward!” Arthur said, clutching his heart in shock. “You scared the bejeezus out of me!”

“Well, excuse me! Just doing my job as a backstage interviewer!” Squidward said. “Anyway, what does it mean to you as a PBS kid to be the XCW Hardcore Champion?”

“Well. . .” Arthur said, “. . .it means that even though I come from a book series for grade schoolers, and a TV show for preschoolers, that I am as tough as they come here in XCW! And as a PBS kid, I find the concept of fighting with weapons to be ultra-violent and barbaric! So I’m going to prove that I am the toughest man on the roster by defending this title with no weapons at all!”

The sound of a janitor’s bucket being kicked to the ground comes from the background. Arthur turned around immediately.

“DEADPOOL! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH??” Tommy Vercetti screamed in the distance.

“See you, Squidward!” Arthur said, dashing into a parking garage.

“Good luck with that.” Squidward said, looking at Arthur dismissively until the show went to a commercial break.

In a training area, Claude Speed laid on a medical bed with doctors surrounding the bed. Squidward entered the room and came up to one of the doctors with a microphone.

“Excuse me, gentlemen. . .” S quidward asked, “. . .but if I may ask. . .what’s the prognosis on Claude?”

“Well, he did receive minor head trauma, mainly from where he was pistol whipped in the head. . .but he’ll be ready to compete by next week.” The doctor assured.

“Bring the mic down here!” Claude demanded. Squidward put the microphone up to Claude’s mouth as he looked at the audience in anger.

“Deadpool. . .mark my words. . .” Claude said, “. . .because they’re the last you’ll hear from me until we meet again. You embarrassed me in an XCW arena. You better be looking over your shoulder every Saturday night, because a one-man army of epic proportions is coming your way. You may have won the battle tonight, Deadpool. . .but the war between us. . .has only just begun.”

Back in the ring, Plankton stood with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event of the evening!”

"What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny plays as Bugs Bunny poses on the stage then walks down the ramp.

“Introducing first. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“Earlier tonight, Bugs provoked Mario, the World Heavyweight Champion yet again, in calling him a Champion of Cowards and Manipulation, and demanded a rematch for the World title in a steel cage at Doomsday!” Early recapped.

Bugs entered the ring and poses on the turnbuckle.

“But Space Ghost had to deliver one final test to Bugs. . .and that test is to defeat this man.” Shake said, before "Bad Man" by Jim Johnston played.

Garfield and Jon Arbuckle walked down the ramp to boos from the crowd. Jon coached Garfield, whose focus remained only on the ring.

“And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“Jon Arbuckle said it himself on the first episode of Monday Night Massacre; it doesn’t matter if he faces one, two, or even three men: Garfield is a force to be reckoned with here in XCW!” Early said.

“Last night wasn’t the easiest fight for Garfield, though.” Shake added. “The three-man team including Solid Snake and Scorpion came close to bringing him down to his knees, exposing a weakness of the big man!”

“But like you said, Shake, that weakness was exposed by a team of three men. Unless Bugs has the strength and tenacity of those three individuals, he is a sitting duck.”

The bell rings and the match begins with Bugs looking up at Garfield in the center of the ring. 

“Garfield is Bugs’ only roadblock towards a World title rematch at Doomsday.” Early said, looking on at the sight in the ring.

“Garfield is more than just a roadblock.” Shake said. “He’s a ten-car pileup on the interstate!”

Garfield grabs Bugs by the head with his hand and shoves him down to the mat. Bugs gets back up and goes for a chop on Garfield but Garfield again shoves him down to the mat. Garfield steps back to Bugs and lifts him up to his feet with authority. Garfield Irish whips him over the ropes and down to the ringside area, Bugs landing with a sickening thud. Garfield climbs over the ropes and jumps off the ring apron, taking Bugs down with a Flying Clothesline!

“The big man going airborne!” Early said.

“How often do you see a man of Garfield’s size fly like that?” Shake wondered.

Garfield picks Bugs up and Irish whips him hard, sending Bugs to hit the barricade hard! Bugs crumbles to the ground face-down as the referee starts the 10-count. Garfield steps over to Bugs and picks him up by the neck. Garfield then slams Bugs’ head against the ring post! All the while, Jon Arbuckle cheers Garfield on, with boos yelled towards him from the crowd. The referee’s 10-count is at three by this point.

Garfield picks Bugs up and slides him back into the ring, with his head sticking out under the ropes on the apron. Garfield then hits Bugs in the face with a massive elbow! Bugs sells his face in pain! Garfield climbs back onto the apron and steps on Bugs’ head with his foot, applying pressure by pushing down on the top rope! The referee starts the five-count and Garfield lifts his foot off Bugs’ head once the count reaches four.

“Punishing. Absolutely punishing.” Early said.

“What’s Arbuckle feeding this cat to make him so hateful?” Shake asked.

“He’s not slipping uppers in his lasagna, that’s for sure.” Early answered. “At any rate, Garfield’s back in the ring, going for a cover!”

Garfield steps over the ropes and goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

BUGS KICKS OUT!!! Garfield sneers in anger!

Shake couldn’t believe it! “What the hell?”

“Bugs has a never-say-die attitude, I’ll give him that!” Early said, as Garfield picked Bugs up to his feet and grabbed him by the throat for a Chokeslam. However, Bugs fought out of it, and hit Garfield with a series of right hands!

“Somehow, in some way. . .Bugs is fighting back!” Early said.

“It doesn’t matter who Bugs is in the ring with. . .” Shake said. “. . .he wants another shot at Mario, and will do whatever it takes to earn it!”

Bugs tries to lift Garfield up for a Scoop Slam, but to no avail. Then Bugs bends over, grabs Garfield by the legs and sweeps them out from under him, taking him down face-first onto the mat! Bugs rolls Garfield over for a quick cover! 1. . .Garfield powers out of the cover, sending Bugs to fall face-first onto the mat! Bugs gets back up and repeatedly punches Garfield with a fury of right hands until he is up against the ropes! Bugs then Irish whips Garfield towards the ropes, and on the bounceback, takes Garfield down with a drop toe hold. Bugs then puts Garfield in an Ankle Lock!

“AN ANKLE LOCK!” Early screamed. “BUGS HAS IT LOCKED IN!!!”

“WILL HE TAP???” Shake asked.

Garfield writhes in pain for a few seconds as he crawls towards the bottom rope and grabs it, breaking the hold. Bugs lets go, and runs against the ropes. On the bounceback, Bugs goes for a dropkick but Garfield catches him and takes him down with a huge swinging side slam! Garfield goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .

Bugs barely gets a shoulder up, causing Garfield to fume with anger!!! Garfield stands up and gets in the face of the referee. With Garfield distracted, Bugs rises slowly to his feet and runs toward Garfield. However, Garfield dodges Bugs, causing him to accidentally clothesline the referee in the corner, knocking him down! Bugs turns around and Garfield grabs him by the throat again! Garfield lifts Bugs up, but Bugs hits Garfield with a European uppercut, dropping out of the chokehold. 

Bugs runs against the ropes again, and bounces back towards Garfield only for Garfield to catch him into a Cathug! Bugs taps out but the referee is still down! 

“This. . .this is too much. Mario and Space Ghost have to be smiling right now at what’s transpiring in the ring right now!” Early said.

“Garfield has free reign to squeeze the life out of Bugs until there’s none left!” Shake said, forlorn.

Bugs slowly starts to fade away and his eyes roll back into his head.

“There’s not much left for Bugs to endure. The Super Mario Syndicate may have finally succeeded in---“ Early said until the crowd looked at the entranceway and down the ramp as they cheered loudly upon seeing---

“---WAIT A MINUTE! IT’S TAI!!!”

Tai runs down the ramp with a steel chair! Tai slides into the ring and hits Garfield in the side with the chair, knocking him back and sending Bugs to the mat! Tai hits Garfield in the head with the steel chair, knocking him down to the mat! Tai sizes Garfield up as he slowly sits up. . .Garfield rises into an upright sitting position only for Tai to run towards the ropes, jump onto them and take Garfield down with a flying kick to the face! 

“A FLYING KICK FROM TAI!!!” Early screamed as Tai slid out of the ring and took Jon Arbuckle down with a baseball slide as the referee woke up! Bugs slowly crawled towards Garfield. . .

“Garfield may be out cold!” Early screamed.

“No way! No way!” Shake yelled.

“A World title rematch on the line for Bugs!” reminded Early, as Bugs draped his arm over Garfield for the cover!

1\. . .

. . .

“NO WAY!”

2\. . . 

“COME ON!”

. . .

. . .3!!!

“HE’S DONE IT!” Early screamed.

“OH MY GOD!”

The crowd erupts into cheers as Bugs rolls out of the ring and Garfield kicks out! Jon Arbuckle stands back up at ringside with his hands on his head in shock.

“BUGS HAS MARIO INSIDE A STEEL CAGE!!!” yelled Early before Plankton made the announcement!

“Here is your winner. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

Bugs rolls out of the ring, gasping for breath as he stumbles up the ramp, with Tai at the stage. Tai runs down the ramp towards Bugs, who drapes his arm over Tai’s shoulders. Tai helps him walk up the ramp. Garfield sits up in the center of the ring, just staring at Bugs and Tai in shock.

“I owe you one!” Bugs said to Tai.

“But why did Tai interfere?” Shake asked at the announce table.

“Tai’s witnessed Bugs suffer enough at the hands of the Super Mario Syndicate, just as much as you and I have!” Early said. “And Tai did something about it, in saving his ally’s life! So thanks to that, we have Bugs Bunny versus Mario in a Steel Cage match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Championship of the World at Doomsday!”

Sneering, Garfield stares at Bugs and Tai as they walk through the entranceway to the backstage area. He slaps his hands over his face and stomps on the mat in anger. Garfield lets out a roar before climbing over all three ropes to the ringside area close to the ramp and pulls the protective covering off the ground, exposing the concrete! 

“Garfield. . .uhhhh. . .a bit irate about the loss. . .” Early said uncomfortably.

Garfield then stomps towards the announce table. Garfield picks up both sets of steel steps at a corner and throws them across the ringside area! Garfield steps to the front of the announce table and violently rips the covering off it, and throws it at the barricade to the left of him. Garfield pulls out both TV monitors and chucks them at the ring apron. A member of security personnel runs over to him but Garfield takes him down immediately with a big boot!

“Oh my God!” Shake cried as he witnessed the impact.

Garfield lumbers to the timekeeper’s booth, grabs the timekeeper by the shirt and throws him over the booth, to the ringside area! Garfield breathes in and out violently and trudges to the announce table again. Shake and Early move out of the way, only for Garfield to stomp closer to Shake and pull him violently into the ring! Jon looks at the scene from ringside with a sadistic look on his face! Six referees run down the ramp and slide into the ring to restrain Garfield. Shake slides out of the ring and escapes through the crowd! 

Two referees grab Garfield by the arms, and another holds onto his tail, but Garfield takes two other referees out with big boots to the face. Garfield then raises his arms, lifting the referees hanging onto him high above the mat! Garfield then swings his arms forward, taking down the refs! Garfield kicks the referee behind him off his tail, turns around, and grabs him by the throat! Two more referees run into the ring, Garfield grabs one of them by the throat, and takes the other ref down with a big boot! Garfield then raises the referees high above the mat and takes them down with a double chokeslam as Space Ghost darts onto the stage and down the ramp.

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” Space Ghost yelled. “Stop this madness right now! What the hell do you think you’re doing, Garfield?”

Jon Arbuckle slid into the ring. “That’s it, Garfield! HIM!”

Jon pointed to Space Ghost, who was now at the foot of the ramp. “HE MADE THE MATCH! HE COST YOU THE WIN AS MUCH AS---“

Before Jon could finish, Garfield strode over the ropes, and looked dead-set at Space Ghost, nearly foaming at the mouth in anger.

“That’s it!” Jon said. “Yes! Yes!”

Space Ghost put his hand out in front of him in protection.

“Okay! Okay! There’s no need for any more destruction!” Space Ghost said in fear. “Just tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you!”

By this point Garfield and Jon are face-to-face with Space Ghost.

“What do you want???” Space Ghost asked. “What do you want---“

Garfield suddenly grabbed Space Ghost by the throat and pulled the microphone out of his hand, putting it up to his mouth.

“. . .TAI!!!!”

Garfield lifted Space Ghost up and chokeslammed him on the exposed concrete floor!! The crowd booed Garfield and Jon, who looked down at Space Ghost in disgust as they turned around. 

Lumbering up the ramp, Garfield grunted loudly in anger as Massacre went off the air! 

Results:

Team Ed defeats Wario & Donkey Kong (Wins Number One Contendership for Tag Titles)  
Peach & Daisy defeat Sora & Yuna   
Claude Speed defeated Jet Black (Retains Hardcore Title)  
Arthur defeats Claude Speed (Wins Hardcore Title)  
Bugs Bunny defeats Garfield (Wins Number One Contendership for World Title)

Alrighty, guys, there’s part 2. As always, let me know if there are any character inconsistencies. A big thanks to Fanfiction Wrestling Critic for the positive rating, and an even bigger thanks to toonwriter for writing Deadpool’s promo, and for letting me use Deadpool. RATE/REVIEW!!!


	7. XCW Massacre: February Week 2

Ok guys, here’s a new entry of XCW Monday Night Massacre! I only own my championships.

The lights go up in the arena, revealing Garfield and Jon Arbuckle standing in the center of the ring, with Jon holding a microphone in his hand. The crowd erupts into boos upon seeing them. 

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Jonathan Q. Arbuckle.”

The crowd boos heavily before Jon continued to speak.

“And this specimen to my right is Garfield.”

The crowd boos even more.

“What you all saw last week. . .was a brutal attack on the part of Garfield. A path of destruction that laid claim to a timekeeper. . .multiple referees. . .and the Commissioner of XCW. . .Space Ghost.”

The crowd cheers a bit upon Space Ghost’s mention.

“However, while he is immobilized in the hospital at the moment. . .our anonymous chairman is taking over his duties for the time being, and his first order of business was to demand that we come out here tonight to apologize for what happened last week. Now, Garfield and I heartfully apologize. . .because we are not going to listen to the chairman’s demands!”

The crowd chants “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

“You see. . .hate brought Garfield here to XCW. Garfield hates a lot of things. Mondays. . .spiders. . .health foods. . .relatives. . .the vet. . .you name it. In training to become a wrestler. . .I took all the things that Garfield hates. . .and used them as a reason to fight. When Garfield looks across the ring at an opponent. . .he sees all the things he hates in the form of one human being! And he especially hates all of you people because of the support you have for his loss last week!”

The crowd boos heavily at Jon.

“But what Garfield hates the most. . .is not getting what is his. Garfield’s rampage last week could’ve been prevented. . .if our Television Champion didn’t stick his nose where it didn’t belong!”

The crowd cheers. Garfield grabbed the microphone out of Jon’s hand and began to speak.

“TAI!!! Last week, you created a bigger monster than there was before. And this monster will be waiting for you to arrive tonight. But until you do. . .there will be more pain. There will be more destruction. And there will be more suffering. . .and it will all be on your hands! Tonight, Tai. . .you will feel my hate. . .when I grab you by the throat. . .squeeze the life out of you. . .and put you through so much pain. . .you’ll wish you were in HELL!”

Garfield throws the microphone onto the mat as the crowd boos heavily at him and Jon. Jon exits the ring and Garfield follows, as they walk up the ramp, sneering in anger.

“Welcome to Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen.” Early said, welcoming the audience. “What you just saw were words of warning from Garfield and Jon Arbuckle directed to not only Tai Kamiya, the XCW Television Champion, but also the entire XCW locker room!”

“And for the sake of all the guys in the back, Tai better arrive here soon!” Shake said in fear.

“He most certainly will, Shake, as he is scheduled to compete tonight, in the main event here in Hillwood! It’s a rematch from Whiplash: Tai Kamiya defends the Television Championship against Luigi!” Early informed.

“It’s gonna be a good time here in Hillwood tonight!” Shake said, before the show went to a commercial break.

After the break, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship! Introducing first. . .from The United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

“Amerika” by Rammstein played as Solid Snake walked down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“At any rate, tonight marks the first night where the PBS Kid, Arthur, defends the Hardcore Championship that was unrightfully taken from Claude Speed last week!” Early said.

“Unrightfully taken from him, Early?” Shake asked. “The title’s on the line 24/7, it doesn’t matter how you lose it!”

“Well, thanks to Deadpool, that sick, twisted mercenary from the WWE’s animated division, XCW has a PBS kid wearing the Hardcore title, and it is flat-out embarrassing not just for Claude, but XCW as a whole, if you ask me!” Early said, before “CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA?” came from the titantron!

Booker T's WWE Theme then played, but Arthur was nowhere to be found.

“And his opponent. . .from Elwood City. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .ARTHUR!!!”

“Arthur the reigning Hardcore Champion. . .he is here to compete tonight, but. . .where the hell is he?” Early wondered.

The show went to the backstage area, where Arthur was in a fistfight with Garfield in his dressing room! Arthur went for a right hand but Garfield headbutted him down to the concrete! 

“BY GOD!” Early screamed. “ARTHUR’S THE FIRST INNOCENT VICTIM OF GARFIELD!!!”

Garfield then backs Arthur up against his closet, grabs him by the back of his shirt and throws him right through the wall outside his door! Arthur lands onto a table where Tommy Vercetti sits at, watching TV. Tommy Vercetti looks out the large hole in the wall of his locker room, but Garfield stomps away from him, not seeing him. 

“Thanks for doing my job for me!” Tommy said to himself before he stood up.

Tommy got up onto his chair, picked Arthur up, and took him down with a Vercetti Driver through the table! Tommy saw a referee staring at the hole in his wall and motioned him to enter the room.

“COME ON MAN! MAKE THE COUNT!!!”

Tommy covered Arthur and the referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

The referee handed Tommy Vercetti the Hardcore title belt and raised his hand in victory!

“What the?” Shake asked in confusion.

“Tommy just won the Hardcore Championship!” Early called.

“Congratulations, Tommy Vercetti!” The referee said. “You are the new Hardcore Champion!”

Tommy smiles in satisfaction and drapes the belt over his shoulder, unaware that Solid Snake has entered his room through the door!

“But Arthur was supposed to defend the title right now against Solid Snake!” the referee said.

“No problem, I can go out there now!” Tommy said.

“NO NEED TO!” Snake said, surprising Tommy!

Tommy Vercetti turned around and was met with right hands from Snake! Snake and Tommy fell through the hole in the wall and began to brawl in the hallway! Tommy and Snake got up to their feet, and Snake chased Tommy down the hallway into the backstage area, with the referee right behind him!

“Snake moved the fight from the ring to the back!” Early said.

“It’s become a footrace, now, Early!”

Tommy and Snake end up in a room full of giant machinery. Tommy suddenly stops running, with Snake still running towards him!

“You still wanna fight?” Tommy screamed. “Okay!”

With Snake’s momentum, Tommy picks him up with his shoulders and takes him down with a fireman’s carry on the concrete! Tommy turns around and Snake gets up to his feet. Tommy charges towards Snake and hits him in the face with a running knee. Tommy taunts for Snake to get up, and Tommy runs towards him again for a Lou Thesz Press, but Snake counters it into an STO! Snake goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicks out! 

Snake picks Tommy up and stands above a set of wooden palettes! Snake lifts him up and takes him down with a Texas Piledriver on the palettes! Tommy screams in pain as Snake goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicks out!

“How the hell was that possible?” Shake wondered.

Snake picks Tommy up and slams his head against a camera crane. Snake goes to slam his head against it again but Tommy counters it into a headbutt! Tommy then rams his own head against the camera equipment repeatedly, until he is busted open!

“OH MY GOD!” Early screamed at the sight.

“This guy’s psychotic!” Shake said.

Tommy lets out a scream of intensity before picking Solid Snake up to his feet and throwing him back into the backstage area. Tommy charges towards Snake for a spear, but Snake hits him with an uppercut, sending Tommy back a bit. Snake then picks up a kendo stick behind him while Tommy puts on a set of brass knuckles on his right hand. As Snake gets up, he is immediately met with a Lou Thesz Press from Tommy, followed by a series of right hands that bust Snake open!

Tommy turns around and taunts Snake to get up. Snake rises to his feet and Tommy ties him up for the Vercetti Driver, but Snake counters it into a sleeper hold! Tommy writhes in pain and gasps for air as the referee asks him if he wants to quit. Tommy barely shakes his head no as the hold brings Tommy down to his knees. 

“He’s fading, Early!” Shake said.

“Tommy’s the current Hardcore Champion, but for how much longer?”

Tommy’s eyes shut and his body goes limp. The referee raises his arm and counts one! He raises Tommy’s arm again, and it falls limply to his side as the referee counts two! The referee raises Tommy’s arm again and lets it drop. . .until Tommy immediately lifts it back up, and slowly rises back up to his feet! Tommy elbows Snake in the chest repeatedly until he lets go of the hold! Tommy then picks Snake up and takes him down with a back drop on the concrete floor! Tommy looks up at the ceiling and screams in intense anger!

“He’s almost got this match won, Early!” Shake said.

“It’s as if he gets a thrill out of getting beaten to a pulp! What a masochist!”

Snake sits up and Tommy ties his arms up onto his. Tommy lifts Snake up and drops him with the Vercetti Driver on the concrete!!! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

As the bell rang, Tommy got off of Snake and raised his arms in victory.

“Here is your winner. . .and. . .uhhhh. . .STILL. . .THE NEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!”

Smiling, Tommy takes the Hardcore title belt away from the referee, who backs away from Tommy in fear.

“Don’t worry.” Tommy assured. “You only have one monster to worry about now.”

Tommy turned around and walked away from the referee, who checked on Solid Snake before looking down a hallway to the left of him.

The referee asked, “Can we get some medical personnel down here?”

“And animal control, while you’re at it!” Shake added.

Elsewhere backstage, Bugs stood in the interview area next to Squidward, who had a microphone in hand.

“Bugs Bunny. . .” Squidward asked, “. . .at Doomsday you face Mario for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship inside a Steel Cage, but you earned the right to compete in that match with the help of Tai. Did he give a reason as to why he interfered last week?”

“Well, Doc, like me, Tai received a fair share of crap from the Super Mario Syndicate since Mario became the first World Heavyweight Champion. They disrespected him and I outside the ring, as well as inside it when we’d be tag partners facing off against them. And after the match last week, he told me that he felt something had to be done about it, and me getting booked in a match against Garfield, putting me at a huge disadvantage, was the final straw! Last week signaled the beginning of the end of the Super Mario Syndicate, and it will culminate at Doomsday when I become the new XCW World Heavyweight Champion!”

“Up next, you, along with your friend Daffy Duck, team up to face Wario and Donkey Kong in a tag team match, finally avenging their attack on the Looney Tunes a couple weeks ago. What’s your gameplan for the match?” Squidward asked.

“My gameplan tonight is to---“

Bugs suddenly stopped speaking and looked above Squidward with a look of fear.

“---sorry, Doc! I gotta go!” Bugs said, running forward, leaving Squidward looking confused. . .and completely unaware that Garfield was standing right behind him!

“What was that all about?” Squidward wondered. . .until Garfield put both paws around the throat of Squidward and lifted him out of the interview area before the show went to a commercial break.

Back in a training area, a team of doctors looked over Squidward’s body, laying on a medical bed. In other medical beds laid Solid Snake, and Arthur.

“God, another one?” one doctor asked. “What the hell is going on tonight?”

“Where did you say you found Squidward?” asked another doctor.

“He was just lying on the floor, bleeding from the head in front of a soda machine. . .that had a giant hole put into it!” a third doctor responded.

All the doctors continued to look down at Squidward, with Garfield’s shadow slowing coming into the area and covering everyone from behind.

“Who in the building, in their right mind, would put an innocent bystander through a soda machine?” asked the second doctor.

Back in the ring, "What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny played as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck posed on the stage then walked down the ramp.

“Garfield is true to his word, in bringing about pain and destruction to the locker room!” Early said.

“Tai doesn’t even know what’s coming to him when he arrives tonight!” Shake said.

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Elmer Fudd. . .the team of DAFFY DUCK AND BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“Bugs evaded a near-disaster during his interview!” Early said.

“I hope Squidward’s okay!” Shake said. “I don’t know what the company will do for a backstage interviewer if he can’t continue!”

Bugs and Daffy entered the ring and posed on opposite turnbuckles.

“Well, at any rate, Bugs and Daffy will finally avenge the attack on them from the hands of Mario’s lackeys, in a tag match here right now.” Early said as Bugs and Daffy looked down the ramp.

Umaga’s WWE Theme played as Wario and Donkey Kong strode down the ramp and entered the ring to boos from the crowd.

“And their opponents, being accompanied to the ring by Mario. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .the team of WARIO AND DONKEY KONG!!!”

“These two men were inches away from regaining their number one contendership last week on Massacre!” Early said.

“Indeed they did, until Donkey Kong went for a takedown on Edd but accidentally took down his pal Wario!” Shake said. “They’ll look to demonstrate the teamwork they showed last month in nearly winning the tag titles!”

The bell rings and the match begins with Bugs facing off against Wario. Bugs puts Wario into a wrist lock but Wario fights out of it and takes Bugs down with an arm drag. Bugs gets back up to his feet and he and Wario get into another tie-up. Wario comes out of it putting Bugs in a side headlock. Wario drags Bugs to the corner and tags in Donkey Kong. With Wario still holding the headlock onto Bugs, Donkey Kong enters the ring and punches Bugs in the face, knocking him to the mat. Donkey Kong then runs against the ropes and lands a huge Leg Drop onto Bugs! Donkey Kong goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicks out!

Donkey Kong picks Bugs up to his feet and Irish whips him against the ropes. On the bounceback, Donkey Kong lifts Bugs up for a Military Press, then lets him fall down to the mat face-first! Donkey Kong charges towards Bugs but Bugs dives towards Daffy and makes the tag. Daffy enters the ring through the middle rope and charges towards Donkey Kong, who immediately shoves him down to the mat. Daffy immediately gets back up and charges at Donkey Kong, who has turned around and taunted the crowd, who boo back at him. Daffy hits Donkey Kong in the back with right hand after right hand. Daffy pushes Donkey Kong into a corner and rams his head into the top turnbuckle padding, until Donkey Kong picks Daffy up and takes him down with a sidewalk slam! Donkey Kong goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicks out!

Donkey Kong picks Daffy up and begins to Irish whip him towards the ropes, but Daffy counters by Irish whipping him over the ropes behind him and onto the ringside floor! Daffy runs towards Donkey Kong on the outside, jumps onto the top rope and takes him down with a moonsault! 

“Both of the legal men are down as the referee begins the 10-count! Will the Looney Tunes achieve vengeance?” Early asked.

Daffy and Donkey Kong get up to their feet and Daffy hits Donkey Kong with a right hand. Daffy goes for another right hand but Donkey Kong blocks it, then Irish whips him into the steel steps, with Daffy hitting them with a sickening thud! Mario steps over to Daffy and points at him while mocking him. Elmer Fudd suddenly runs towards Mario and takes him down with a tackle, hitting him with right hands on impact! The referee’s count is up to three at this point.

Donkey Kong picks Daffy up to his feet and throws him into the ring through the middle rope. Donkey Kong enters the ring and goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicks out! Donkey Kong then picks Daffy up and lifts him up for a military press! Daffy falls out of it, though, and takes Donkey Kong down with a reverse DDT! Daffy then runs against the ropes and hits Donkey Kong with a falling elbow! Daffy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Donkey Kong kicks out! Daffy picks Donkey Kong up but is immediately hit with a punch to the gut. Donkey Kong runs against the ropes and takes Daffy down with a neckbreaker! Donkey Kong then taunts Daffy to get up and once he does, picks him up and locks him into the Torture Rack! The referee asks Daffy if he wants to quit, but Donkey Kong headbutts him down to the mat! Suddenly, Elmer slides into the ring and takes Donkey Kong down with a chop block! 

“Both men are down! Who can make the tag first?” Early asked in suspense.

Bugs and Wario slap their hands on the top turnbuckles in their respective corners in anticipation for a tag. Daffy crawls towards Bugs. . .extends his arm out. . .and successfully makes the tag to Bugs, who charges towards Wario’s corner as Donkey Kong tags in Wario! 

Bugs takes down Wario with a clothesline, then taunts him to get up and takes him out with another clothesline! Bugs taunts for Wario to get up again; this time Wario goes for a clothesline, but misses as Bugs spins behind Wario and takes him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Bugs then runs against the ropes and lands a double axe handle onto Wario! Bugs gets up and lets out a yell of intensity, as the crowd erupts into cheers! Suddenly Mario jumps onto the ring apron, holding out the World Heavyweight title belt in his hands towards Bugs. Bugs looks at Mario in anger as he picks Wario up to his knees. Donkey Kong runs into the ring and charges at Bugs but Daffy takes him down with a Missile Dropkick! Mario continues to taunt Bugs with the belt until Elmer grabs Mario by the legs and powerbombs him to the ringside floor! Bugs then lifts Wario up and takes him down with a Bunny Bomb! 

Bugs goes for the cover. . .1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Bugs gets up and the referee raises his and Daffy’s arms up in victory. 

“Here are your winners. . .DAFFY DUCK AND BUGS BUNNY!!!”

Wario rolled out of the ring and Donkey Kong met him at the foot of the ramp. 

“The Looney Tunes’ vengeance has been achieved!” Shake said.

Mario stumbles to the ramp, selling his lower back but raising the World title belt towards Bugs as they step backwards up the ramp.

“But will Bugs achieve his dream at Doomsday, and defeat Mario for the XCW World Heavyweight title inside a Steel Cage?”

Meanwhile, backstage, Tai and Sora entered the arena, walking down a hallway. 

“Woah!” Sora exclaimed, as she and Tai came across Vash the Stampede’s prone, limp body laying below a huge dent in the wall. They looked down at him in concern.

“Hey, Vash!” Tai yelled. “Are you okay?”

Tai poked at Vash with his foot and he groaned in response. Vash pushed himself up with his arms and looked up at Tai.

“. . .wwwwhhhhyyyyy?” Vash groaned, before falling back down to the ground.

“What happened?” Tai asked, but to no answer. He and Sora continued walking and reached the door to their locker room. Sora turned around and looked back at Vash, more concerned than before.

“Tai. . .do you think Vash was attacked?” Sora asked, worriedly.

“Nah, he probably tried to win the Hardcore title under the 24/7 rule. Serves him right!” Tai said as he unlocked the door.

Tai opened the door, and he and Sora went inside.

“Uh-oh. . .” Shake said in fear.

“Tai is a dead man walking.” Early said before the show went to a commercial.

All the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by “YOU EEEDIOT!!!” followed by Scott Steiner’s TNA music played, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walked onto the stage and down the ramp to a standing ovation, with the Tag title belts around their waist.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Stimpy. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .he is one half of the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .REN!!!”

“We learned last week that at Doomsday, Ren and Stimpy will defend the XCW Tag Team titles against Team Ed, who, in their match against Wario and Donkey Kong, showed a great amount of energy in becoming the number one contenders!” Early said.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “Ed even went so far as to verbally send a message to the champs, claiming they won’t be able to keep up with them! Well tonight, the quick Ren faces off against the equally agile member of Team Ed!”

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio plays and the lights dim in the arena. Once the heavy guitars kick on, pyro explodes on the stage and Ed and Edd jump onto the stage from below it, to a standing ovation.

“And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .EDD!!!”

“As you alluded to just now, Shake, after defeating Wario and Donkey Kong last week, Team Ed verbally sent a message to the tag champs.” Early said. “Before this match tonight, the Champions came out with a message themselves for the challengers!”

The show transitioned to a video clip, where Ren and Stimpy stood in front of a blue background with the tag titles on their shoulders.

“Edward and Eddward!” cried Ren. “You two have the same name, the same hometown, and the same inability to keep your traps shut! Like you, we’ve made our mark in other companies in this business before coming here, but it wasn’t just by winning titles! We gained a reputation for being one of the most unorthodox teams in the business, and what we lack in energy. . .we make up for with our teamwork. You claim you will begin the Age of Ed? Well, allow us to demonstrate what we will do to your little plans at Doomsday. Show ‘em, Stimpy!”

“Okey dokey, Ren!”

Stimpy picked up a giant bag of Gritty Kitty Litter and suplexed it through a wooden table behind him!

Back in the ring, Ren stood in one corner, staring down Edd in another side of the ring.

“Two of the most prolific tag teams in our business today will go head-to-head at Doomsday!” Early said.

“But tonight, we’ll see how they fare in singles competition!” added Shake.

The bell rings and the match begins with Edd and Ren getting into a tie-up. Edd puts Ren into a front face lock and lifts him up for a Powerbomb but Ren falls out of it, puts Edd into a waist-lock and elbows him in the head before hitting him with a dropkick, that sends him face-first into the corner. Ren charges towards the corner and takes him out with a running splash! Edd falls to the mat face-down, and Ren goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Edd kicks out.

Ren puts Edd in a side headlock while they lay on the mat, but Edd stands back up with Ren still holding on! Edd spins around and Irish whips Ren towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Edd leaps over Ren, and takes him down with an arm drag! Ren gets back up to his feet and is immediately put in a wrist-lock by Edd. Edd wrenches Ren’s arm and Irish whips him against the ropes. On the bounceback, Edd takes Ren down with a cross arm-breaker! Ren writhes in pain until Edd turns him on his back for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ren kicks out!

“Edd working on the arm early!” Early observed.

Edd picks Ren up to his feet and hits him with three right hands, backing him up against the ropes. Edd then takes him down with a clothesline, sending both of them over the ropes and down to the ringside area. Edd picks Ren up and Irish whips him towards the steel steps but Ren counters it with an Irish whip of his own, sending Edd to crash into the steps! As the referee begins the 10 count, Ed comes up to Ren from behind but Stimpy catches up to him and slams Ed’s head into the barricade! Ren steps over to Edd and tries to ram his head against the ring apron but Edd fights out of it, turns around and picks Ren up, taking him down with an Alabama Slam on the floor! Ren sells his back in pain as Edd picks him up and slides him back into the ring. Edd slides back in the ring and covers Ren 1. . .2. . .Ren kicks out!

Edd picks Ren up to his feet and goes for another right hand but Ren blocks it and takes Edd down with a Jawbreaker! Ren then runs against the ropes and lands on Edd with a springboard moonsault! Ren goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Edd kicks out!

Edd suddenly grabs onto Ren’s arm and locks him in an armbar! Ren writhes in pain as the referee asks him if he wants to quit. Ren shakes his head no while Edd latches onto the hold tightly! Ren stretches his arm out. . .reaching for the ropes. . .

“That arm’s been worked on all match. . .I’m not sure Ren has much left!” said Shake.

Ren can’t quite grab onto the bottom rope, so Edd continues holding the armbar on Ren! Ren plants his feet onto the mat and tries lifting Edd up, but Edd keeps the hold locked in! Ren successfully brings both himself and Edd up to their feet and elbows out of the hold with his free arm! Ren then spins behind Edd and takes him down with a Reverse DDT! Ren looks up at the ceiling and screams in intensity. Ren shuffles his feet as he sizes Edd up. Edd rises to his feet, Ren jumps up and takes him out with an Enziguri kick to the back of his head!

Ren went for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!!!

Ren got off Edd and the referee raised his arm in victory.

“Here is your winner. . .REN!!!”

Before the referee can hand Ren his tag title belt, Ed slides into the ring and clotheslines Ren with authority! As Ed turns around, Stimpy slides into the ring and charges at him with a right hand cocked back. Ed blocks it, however, and takes Stimpy down with a belly-to-belly suplex! Ed turns around and does Randy Orton’s wake-up taunt.

“My God! This Ed is a brute of a human being!”

“He may not have a brain in his body. . .” Shake said, “. . .but he’s got enough strength for 3 men!”

A dazed Ren gets up to his feet and turns right into Ed, who picks him up and takes him down with an Eledrifier! Ed picks up the Tag title belt and raises it above his head!

“Ed taking matters into his own hands, further asserting that ‘The Age of Ed’ is on its way!” Early said.

“Whatever that means. . .Shake said, as the show went back to the backstage area, where Tai walked down a hallway with the Television title around his waist.

“Well ladies and gentlemen, up next. . .that man right there, Tai Kamiya, defends the XCW Television Championship against Luigi!”

He looks around at the area, strewn with the bodies of various wrestlers and medical personnel. The look on his face progresses from calm to worried as he sees more and more bodies, stepping over Sub-Zero’s body and coming across a broken table with Scorpion laying in the middle of it with his head busted open.

“. . .Tai. . .” Scorpion said weakly. Tai ran over and knelt above Scorpion. 

“Oh my God, you, too??!!” Tai asked in concern. “What caused all this?”

“. . .Gar. . .Garfield.” Scorpion said, gasping for breath in between each word. “He’s looking. . .for you. . .”

Tai stood back up with his eyes wide in horror. He turned around and ran back down the hallway he came from as the show went to a commercial break.

“A war of weapons between Claude and Deadpool. . .”

Deadpool took down Claude with a Spinebuster and the Dead Shot!

“This Deadpool is a total maniac!” Early said.

Deadpool pistol whipped Claude in the face!

“I. . .I’m speechless, Early. I really am. . .” Shake said, forlorn.

“. . .has become a war of words!”

Claude laid on a medical bed looking directly at the audience.

“A one-man army of epic proportions is coming your way!”

“Who will strike next? Find out Saturday night on WWE: Saturday Night Animated! Check your local listings!”

After the commercial break, Tai stood in front of his locker room door, pounding on it in a panic.

“SORA!!! SORA!!!” Tai yelled, until the door started to open from the inside. Tai, however, immediately pulled it shut.

“Tai, what’s going on?” asked Sora.

“No time to explain! But no matter what happens to me, promise me that you will not open this door for anyone!”

“What’s happening??”

“PROMISE ME!!!” Tai yelled.

“I won’t! I won’t! But WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!” Sora yelled in concern.

“It’s Garfield!” Tai said, terrified! “He’s attacked everyone and is coming for---“

An orange paw suddenly grabbed Tai by the throat! Garfield pulled Tai up to his body and looked down at him, seething! Garfield roared while Irish whipping Tai out of the hallway and against a wall in the backstage area! Garfield grabbed Tai by the head and repeatedly slammed it against the wall!

“The following contest, scheduled for one fall. . .is your XCW Main Event for the evening. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Championship!!!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage to boos from the crowd, raising a peace sign above his head, towards the ring.

“Introducing first, representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .LUIGI!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, but Shake. . .for all we know, Tai is getting the hell beaten out of him by Garfield!” Early said in fear!

“At this rate, who knows if Tai will even compete tonight. . .let alone walk down the ramp!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played, but Tai was nowhere to be found.

“And his opponent. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!

Luigi stood in the ring, looking at the stage in waiting for Tai.

“Oh dear God!” Early said. “Tai’s still in the back! I shudder to think what Garfield’s doing to him at this very moment!”

“Wait a minute!” Shake said. “Here he comes---“

Tai goes flying onto the stage, landing face-first on the metal. Garfield and Jon Arbuckle step right behind him. Garfield picks Tai up by the hair, revealing that Tai has been busted wide open, his blood covering his face and even a bit of his chest.

“Oh my God!” Early screamed. “He’s bleeding like a stuck pig!”

“He brought it on himself!” Shake said! “He shouldn’t have gotten involved last week!”

Garfield pulls Tai down the ramp and takes him down with a belly-to-belly suplex, which sends him flying immediately to the foot of the ramp! Tai screams in agonizing pain, selling his lower back. Garfield stands over Tai and begins whipping him with the Television Championship belt! Tai screams even louder in pain! Garfield picks Tai up and Irish whips him hard against the ring apron. Tai winces in pain as Garfield grabs Tai by the hair again, and rams his head into the ring post!

“The match hasn’t even started yet, nor should it!” Early said demandingly.

“The show must go on, Early!” Shake said.

“Are you kidding me, Shake? Tai’s been through enough physical punishment for almost 1000 matches! He can’t compete tonight!”

Garfield picks Tai up and raises him high above his head for a military press. After a minute, Garfield then throws Tai into the ring, above all three ropes! Tai lands face-first onto the mat, clenching his abdomen!

“I hope Sora isn’t watching this right now!” Early said. “I wouldn’t wish for anyone to receive this punishment, much less have their loved ones witness it!”

The bell rang and the match began! 

“The match is still taking place?” Early asked in disbelief! “Tai needs medical attention!”

“EVERYONE needs medical attention!” Shake said. “But Garfield took out all the doctors!”

Luigi sizes Tai up as he slowly stumbles to his feet. Luigi picks Tai up and nails him with the Gory Bob-Omb!

“Come on! NOT THIS WAY!!!” Early screamed, as Luigi went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .TAI KICKS OUT!!!

Luigi stands up and looks at Tai in disbelief!!!

“THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!!” Early screamed.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME???” Shake yelled, as Jon looked up at the ring from ringside in shock, while Garfield sneered in anger.

Tai stumbles up to his feet and is met with another Gory Bob-Omb from Luigi! Luigi then climbs up to the top rope and nails the Super Mario Splash on Tai!

“It’s over.” Shake said, forlorn.

Selling his abdomen, Luigi crawled in for the cover.

1\. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“DAMN IT!!!” Early screamed after the bell rang!

Luigi got up and the referee raised his hand in victory as Garfield threw the Television title belt into the ring, towards the referee.

“Here is your winner. . .AND THE NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”

The referee gives Luigi the Television title belt. Before he has a chance to celebrate, however, he sees Garfield climbing into the ring! Luigi and even the referee slide out of the ring and run up the ramp. Garfield stares down at Tai in anger.

“Enough is enough, Garfield!” Early said. “You ambushed him in the back, you’ve made him a bloody mess, and now you’ve cost him the Television title! What more can you possibly do???”

Tai slowly sits up and climbs up to his knees only to be met by a giant right hand from Garfield, knocking him face-up onto the mat!

Garfield looks at the crowd and roars, raising his giant open hand. Tai rolls onto his chest, struggling to push himself up. 

“No, Tai! Just stay down!” Early said in concern!

“Tap out, even!”

Tai looks up at Garfield as he stands on his knees. Garfield grabs Tai by the throat and lifts him onto his feet. Garfield then lifts Tai high above his head!

“This’ll do it. Sora, if you’re watching this, God forbid, cover your eyes!” Shake yelled.

“Come on! This is too much!” Early yelled. “A CHOKESLAM---“

Garfield slams Tai down with such a huge Chokeslam, that it sends Tai right through the ring!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Early and Shake screamed!

“RIGHT THROUGH THE MAT!” Early screamed. “BY GOD!!! GARFIELD HAS TAKEN TAI ON A RIDE TO HELL!!!”

“He said he would beat Tai so hard, he’d wish he were in Hell. . .well whether Tai wished it or not. . .he’s there!” Shake called.

Foaming at the mouth, Garfield looked down at Tai in the hole left in the ring. Jon Arbuckle raised Garfield’s hand in victory, to massive boos from the crowd! Garfield let out a large roar in the arena as Massacre went off the air!

Alright, there’s part two. Let me know if there any character inconsistencies when you RATE/REVIEW!!!

Results

Tommy Vercetti defeated Arthur (won Hardcore Championship)  
Tommy Vercetti defeated Solid Snake (retained Hardcore Championship)  
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck defeated Wario and Donkey Kong  
Ren defeated Edd  
Luigi defeated Tai (won Television Championship)


	8. XCW Massacre: February Week 3

Ok guys, here’s the newest chapter of XCW Massacre! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme plays and pyro explodes on the titantron, after which millions of fans stand in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“The vicious alliance of Garfield and Jon Arbuckle struck with unrelenting fury all over the arena last week! Who will be their next victim tonight, on this edition of Monday Night Massacre! Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside here in Pewter City! And Shake, tonight, we will hear more about the condition of Tai Kamiya after the beatdown he received at the hands of Garfield last week!”

“That’s great to hear because let me tell you something, Early. . .Garfield’s attacks on this show last week were some of the scariest things I’ve ever seen!”

“I agree wholeheartedly, Shake! And tonight we will also hear more from the attacker himself! Garfield and Jon Arbuckle will address the crowd, here tonight!”

“They say actions speak louder than words, Early. . .what do Garfield and Jon have left to say after their actions last week?”

“We’ll find out later tonight, Shake! But we start the night off with an intergender tag team match!”

"Amerika" by Rammstein plays as Solid Snake walks down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from the United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

“Last week, Solid Snake was scheduled to compete against the former Hardcore Champion, Arthur.” Early informed. “Unfortunately, Garfield foiled those plans by attacking Arthur in the back, even going so far as to throw Arthur right through a wall---“

“---and into Tommy Vercetti’s locker room!” Shake finished. “Tommy took advantage with a quick pinfall to become the new Hardcore Champion, but couldn’t celebrate for long because Snake ran to the back and tried to take out Tommy then and there!”

“Brackish” by Kittie plays as Peach struts down the ramp to a chorus of boos, motioning her hands over the Women’s title belt around her waist and taunting the crowd.

“And his partner. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .she is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Champion. . .PEACH!!!”

“Another match made for Doomsday: that woman right there, Peach, will put the Women’s Championship against Yuna in a one-on-one match!” announced Early.

Peach blew a kiss to the referee as she took off the Women's title belt.

“Yuna almost had the champion pinned in a tag team match two weeks ago, but Peach snuck out the victory.” Shake reminded. “Will it be more of the same at Doomsday?”

“Wayfarer” by Kavinsky plays as the crowd erupts into cheers. Tommy Vercetti rides down the ramp on a Freeway motorcycle, with Yuna sitting right behind him!

“And their opponents. . .the team of YUNA. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

“The Hardcore title match last week went all over the backstage area, and in the end, Tommy Vercetti came out the winner!” Early said. “But Arthur and Snake believed that they should fight for the title outright, so at Doomsday, Tommy Vercetti will defend the Hardcore title against Arthur and Solid Snake in a Triple Threat match!”

Yuna and Tommy slide into the ring. Yuna climbs onto a top turnbuckle and poses while Tommy hands the referee the Hardcore title belt and raises his fists above his head in the middle of the ring.

“And Shake,” Early continued, “after his psychotic display last week against Solid Snake and Arthur in separate encounters, I can only imagine what Tommy Vercetti will do against them both in the same match!”

“What’d you say? I’m sorry, Early! I was imagining Yuna in biker gear.”

The bell rings, and the match begins with Yuna facing off against Peach. Yuna and Peach run towards each other and get into a tie-up. Yuna locks Peach in a side headlock and pushes her towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Yuna goes for a bulldog but Peach pushes her off. Yuna turns around to face Peach, who takes her down with a Lou Thesz Press! Peach slaps Yuna repeatedly with right and left hands until Yuna rolls her onto her back and hits her with right hand after right hand! Yuna runs against the ropes and hits Peach with a running moonsault! Yuna goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicks out.

Yuna picks Peach up by the hair and Irish whips her into her corner. Yuna then tags in Tommy Vercetti, and Peach tags in Solid Snake. Tommy and Snake run towards each other and get into a tie-up. Snake spins behind Tommy and elbows him in the back of the head. Tommy slowly turns around and Snake takes him down with a Lou Thesz Press, and nails him with a fury of right hands! Snake gets off Tommy and runs against the ropes, going for a falling elbow but Tommy spins out of the way. Tommy charges towards Snake and ties him into a front face lock. Tommy goes for a DDT but Snake pushes Tommy into a corner and hits him in the chest with chop after chop! Tommy manages to block a chop and put Snake into a wristlock. Tommy then elbows Snake in the back of the head again, sending him face-first into the corner. Tommy then slams Snake’s head five times into the top turnbuckle, with the crowd counting along!

“These two men are beating the hell out of each other!” Early observed.

Tommy rams Snake’s head into the top turnbuckle five more times before picking him up and taking him down with a back drop! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicks out! 

Tommy picks Snake up to his feet and hits him with a European uppercut. He then Irish whips him towards the ropes and on the bounceback, takes him down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hits him over and over with a fury of right and left hands! Tommy then gets up and yells in intensity. The crowd cheers as Tommy turns around and taunts for Snake to get up.

“Tommy readying for the Vercetti Driver. . .” Shake said, until Early interrupted!

“LOOK AT PEACH ON THE TOP ROPE!”

As Snake slowly rises to his knees, Peach climbs onto the top turnbuckle and lands a missile dropkick to the back of Tommy! Tommy gets up to his feet and sneers at Peach in anger as she slides out of the ring. However, Yuna enters the ring over the middle rope, running toward Peach! Yuna then jumps over all three ropes, taking Peach out with a flying crossbody! Tommy looks at the carnage on the outside, unaware that Snake is up to his feet, standing right behind him! Snake then puts Tommy into a sleeper hold!

“Now Snake with the upper hand!” said Early.

Snake clenches harder onto the hold, with Tommy trying to fight out of it by carrying Snake towards the ropes but to no avail. Tommy falls onto his knees and waves his arms around slower and slower until they fall limp to his sides. The referee raises his arm and counts one! He raises Tommy’s arm again, and it falls limply to his side as the referee counts two! The referee raises Tommy’s arm again and lets it drop to his side. The referee then calls for the bell!

“Here are your winners. . .PEACH AND SOLID SNAKE!!!”

“Snake getting the best of the Hardcore Champion here tonight!” said Early.

“And he doesn’t look to be done yet!” Shake said, as Snake didn’t let go of the hold!

The referee tries to pull Snake off of Tommy but he finally lets go of the hold, letting Tommy’s head fall to the mat! Snake stares down the referee who reluctantly raises his arm up in victory. Snake then picks Tommy’s prone body up to his feet and takes him down with a Texas Piledriver! Snake then covers Tommy, hooking the leg, but the referee stands over him doing nothing! “MAKE THE COUNT!” yelled Snake, in a stern tone.

The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

The timekeeper handed the referee the Hardcore title belt! 

“Here is your NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

The referee raised Snake’s arm in victory as he took the Hardcore title belt!

“And just like that, Snake is our new Hardcore Champion!” Early said.

“I don’t believe it!” Shake said. “With two victories in one night, Snake may have Tommy’s number---wait a minute!”

Snake is standing in the center of the ring raising the Hardcore title belt above his head, unaware that Arthur is standing behind him with a dictionary in his hands!

“It’s Arthur!” cried Early. “He wants to reclaim his Hardcore title!”

Arthur swings the dictionary at Snake’s head only to miss and be taken down with a Big Boot by Snake!

“Snake just took Arthur out!” yelled Early.

Solid Snake walks up the ramp, raising the Hardcore title belt over his head as he stares down Arthur and Tommy, who lay prone in the ring.

“They say words can never hurt you. . .” Shake said. “. . .Arthur tried to prove the otherwise to no avail!”

“You’re absolutely right, Shake! But now we go backstage to Sora Takenouchi, standing live with our new backstage interviewer: Carl Brutanandilewski!”

In a hallway of the backstage area, Carl stood next to Sora Takenouchi with a microphone in hand.

“Sora, last week, your husband, Tai Kamiya, was attacked backstage at the hands of Garfield, which included a chokeslam right through the mat. What is his condition at this moment?”

“Carl, while he came out of the attacks with no severe injuries, he did have minor head trauma and body pain. For that reason, he is resting comfortably at home tonight, but by next week he’ll be back, and be ready for in-ring competition at Doomsday.”

“That’s great to hear, Sora! The attacks on Tai last week were tough for all of us to watch. If I may ask you, how did you feel witnessing your husband’s demise?”

“It. . .was tough to watch. Not only because it was my husband that was receiving the beating but also because I didn’t do anything about it! I vowed to be faithful to him and his word, and stayed true to it last week. But I watched the events transpire in horror, wondering to myself if I could’ve stopped it! Well I won’t wonder anymore. Because if anyone tries to beat Tai to a pulp again. . .they have to go through me first!”

“Is Sora insane?” Early asked.

“I’ll grant that she is tough. . .” Shake said, “. . .but what a declaration!”

As the show came back from a commercial break, aggressive rock music played as Jak loosened up in the ring, looking at the stage in anticipation for his opponent!

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from the village of Sandover. . .JAK!!!”

“We’re back here on Monday Night Massacre as we are joined at ringside by the XCW Tag Team Champions, Ren and Stimpy! It’s a pleasure to welcome you both to ringside!” Early said, welcoming the tag champions to their table.

“Why thank you, Early!” Ren replied.

“We wanted to get a look at Jak’s opponent tonight in hopes of beating him at Doomsday!” Stimpy said.

“You EEEDIOT!” Ren yelled. “Who knows if Team Ed is listening to us right now?”

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio plays and the lights dim in the arena. Once the heavy guitars kick on, pyro explodes on the stage and Ed and Edd jump onto the stage from below it, to a standing ovation.

“And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Edd. . .representing Team Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .ED!!!”

“Ed has shown some incredible feats of strength as he and Edd get closer and closer to their match against you two for the Tag titles at Doomsday!” said Early.

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Ren agreed. “But any weakness he shows tonight will put us at a huge advantage!”

Ed climbs on a turnbuckle and raises his arms above his head toward the fans. Edd gets on the ring apron and stares down Ren and Stimpy.

The bell rings and the match begins with Ed and Jak in a tie-up. Jak pushes Ed into a corner and hits him in the chest with chop after chop, until Ed grabs Jak’s arm and puts him in a wrist-lock. Ed then takes Jak down with an arm drag! Not letting go of Jak’s arm, Ed picks Jak up and takes him down with another arm drag! Ed then taunts for Jak to get up to his feet before taking him down with a belly-to-belly suplex!

“Pure athleticism from the bigger half of Team Ed!” Shake said.

“We’ve got our work cut out for us, that’s for sure!” Stimpy said.

“Be quiet, you fool!” Ren yelled before looking back at the match.

Jak gets up to one knee only for Ed to pick him up and take him down with a swinging side slam! Ed goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Jak barely kicks out! Ed stands up and loosens up his arms as Jak gets up to his feet, then takes Jak down with a thunderous clothesline! Ed then picks Jak up by the hair and takes him back down again with three consecutive headbutts, each one more powerful than the last! Ed looks around the arena screaming, then does Randy Orton’s wake-up taunt as Jak slowly stumbles up to his feet!

“Ed’s slithering!” Shake observed. “He’s ready for it!”

Ed then puts Jak up onto his shoulders and hits him with an Eledrifier! Ed goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!!!

“Here is your winner. . .ED!!!”

The referee raises Ed’s arm in victory, then Ed runs around the ring in celebration.

“Did you guys get what you were looking for out here?” Shake asked the tag champs.

“Kind of. . .but I think we need to do more research.” Ren answered.

“This animal, Ed, proved once again tonight that he is a force to be reckoned with in XCW!” Early said. “Thanks for joining us, Ren and Stimpy!”

In a hallway of the backstage area, Mario and Luigi stood next to Carl in a hallway, with the World title and Television title belts draped over their shoulders.

“Mario and Luigi,” Carl asked, “. . .you two are now the first brothers in XCW to hold the World Heavyweight and Television Championships at the same time. How does it feel?”

“How does it feel?” Mario asked. “It feels great! Forget Tai and Sora, forget Ren and Stimpy, and just freakin’ ignore the Looney Tunes: the Mario Brothers are the best tag team in XCW, and the gold you see us carrying over our shoulders proves it!”

Luigi holds the Television title belt up to Carl.

“I am so proud to hold this belt alongside my brother; the World Heavyweight Champion! I deserve to carry it!”

“Really?” Carl asked. “Even though the former champion came to the match in a bloody mess and beaten to within an inch of his life?”

“Except Tai lost the title to an opponent with pedigree, honor, and athleticism!” Luigi said. “I’m certainly no PBS Kid!”

“Yeah!” Mario said. “Anyone who loses to someone like that shouldn’t even grace the locker rooms here! I’d hate to lose to a PBS kid!”

Mario started to laugh, unaware that Claude was standing right behind him and Luigi!

“Oh really?” Claude asked.

Mario and Luigi turned around to face Claude, who had a barbed-wire 2x4 in his right hand.

“I’d hate to be the guys talking about me behind my back, because they’re looking to get schooled right about now!” Claude said in a menacing tone.

“Oh yeah? See me in the ring tonight, and prove your worth to me and my brother!” Mario challenged.

“You bet I will!” Claude said. “And after I beat you. . .you’re next!”

Claude pointed at Luigi as he stormed away from the Mario brothers before the show went to a commercial break.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome. . .JON ARBUCKLE AND GARFIELD!!!”

The crowd erupts into boos as “Bad Man” by Jim Johnston plays in the arena. Garfield steps down the ramp with Jon Arbuckle at his eyes, both of them focused on the ring.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and I’m scared just looking at the two men coming to the ring right now!” Early said.

Garfield steps over all three ropes as Jon asks for a microphone from the timekeeper.

“I am too, Early!” Shake said. “Jon’s taken his housecat and turned him into a spiteful, punishing monster! Who is he going after next?”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am Jon Arbuckle. . .and this man standing before you all right here. . .”

Jon pointed at Garfield, standing to his left.

“. . .is Garfield!”

The crowd booed heavily.

“I know, I know. Garfield went too far last week. Garfield threw Arthur through a wall. . .threw Squidward through a soda machine and out of XCW. . .and chokeslammed Tai straight to hell. Well I got news for ya. . .”

“. . .we didn’t apologize last week for destroying Space Ghost. . .and we’re not gonna apologize tonight for last week’s events!”

The crowd erupted into more boos.

“Allow me to be the first to tell you. . .” Jon continued, “. . .our anonymous chairman witnessed last week’s main event, and like you all. . .he was at a loss for words. He was at such a loss, that he called us into his office to exact punishment. However, as he was set to punish us, conveniently. . .the ratings came in, and the thing that stuck out in my mind. . .and the chairman’s mind. . .was that the ratings happened to peak at the events that transpired during what was supposed to be the main event: Tai versus Luigi.”

“From showing him the facts, and through active persuasion, the chairman did more than change his mind about suspending us. He came to an understanding. And that understanding. . .is that all you people are bloodthirsty! You crave violence! You crave bloodshed! You feed off the pain and suffering of others! The chairman came to understand that, and from there decided to make a match for Doomsday. That match. . .features Tai Kamiya. . .competing in one-on-one action. . .against. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“WHAT!” Shake yelled.

“I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!!!” Early said in shocked!

A wide, sadistic grin extended on the face of Jon.

“You thought last week was brutal? When Garfield walks amongst the wrestlers in the back. . .like last week, he is capable of utter annihilation. But in this ring. . .Garfield unleashes the true monster within him. In this ring. . .at Doomsday. . .when Tai stares across the ring, and sees this monster, Garfield. . .he’s gonna beg for mercy! He’s gonna fall to his knees and BEG for his life to be spared. . .but in the ring. . .Garfield leaves no stone unturned---“ Jon spoke, until. . .

“Heavy In Your Arms” by Florence + The Machine played! Sora Takenouchi strode onto the stage and down the ramp with a pissed-off look on her face, and a microphone in hand.

“CUT MY MUSIC!” Sora yelled. “I will NOT stand for this!”

Sora climbs onto the ring apron and enters the ring above the middle rope.

“There is no doubt in my mind that Tai is a great man. . .a great competitor. . .and an even better wrestler.” Sora said. “But last week, you ambushed him in the back, beat him to a pulp, cost him the Television Championship, and put him through hell. And that’s not enough for you? What more can you possibly want to do to him in a sanctioned match? More importantly. . .what on earth do you have against my husband to warrant your attack towards him in the first place?”

Jon rolled his eyes.

“Well, first of all. . .one thing that we despise about your husband is that he has a tendency to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong. Business such as the kind that Garfield was taking care of in his match against Bugs Bunny two weeks ago! He was seconds away from squeezing the life out of him, seconds away from proving to the world that a World title shot should go to someone as dominating and fearless as Garfield, instead of a has-been that already had his chance!” 

The crowd erupted into boos.

“We also hate Tai because he has a sense of accomplishment that he shouldn’t feel. He’s achieved nothing since winning the Toon World title in 2000, aside from being the most glorified jobber in this industry since Charlie Brown! You both only found your way into this company because our chairman, for some inexplicable reason, sees dollar signs upon the mere mention of the name ‘Tai Kamiya’, even though DVDs of your television series have been out of print for 10 years!”

The crowd booed even more before Jon spoke again.

“But do you want to know what we hate the most about your husband, Sora? We hate the fact that, despite his ‘minor injuries’, he isn’t man enough to show up here tonight and confront us to his face, instead electing to send his bimbo wife out to the ring to speak for him like a ventriloquist dummy!

Sora could barely hold back anger at this point.

“I’m here. . .on his behalf---“

“Well, who do you think you are???” Jon interrupted. “You were the first XCW Women’s Champion for all of one month. You claim that you showcase what wrestling in XCW is all about. . .how? By sleeping around and getting hitched with a former Toon World Champion in a desperate attempt to get ahead in this sad thing you call a career?”

Sora opened her mouth to say something, but Jon interrupted her again.

“You two are perfect for each other! You know why? Because you two are fighting. . .for absolutely nothing. And come Doomsday. . .Tai will realize that he has no reason to fight. Because Garfield will have torn him apart, limb from limb, and beaten him to the point where he will never. . .fight. . .again.”

Jon dropped the microphone to the mat and he and Garfield left the ring, leaving Sora in the middle of it. She stared down Garfield and Jon, barely able to hold back anger as the show went to a commercial break.

As the show came back from the commercial break, Early and Shake sat at the commentator’s table.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, Jon Arbuckle, Garfield’s manager, hasn’t won me over one bit!” Early said in disgust.

“Well, you gotta admit, Sora came out here way over her head, thinking she was high and mighty---“

“Over her head? High and mighty?” Early asked angrily. “Are you kidding me, Shake? Tai gets booked in a match against the monster Garfield at Doomsday, and Sora came out to stand up for him, only for Jon to straight up verbally abuse her in the ring! It was totally uncalled for!”

“Yeah, well, Jon put Sora in her place, if you ask me.” Shake replied.

“At any rate. . .Early continued, “ladies and gentlemen, we’re feeling March Madness too, because up next is a qualifying match for our first annual March Majesty tournament! Throughout the next few weeks, you’ll see 16 wrestlers competing for one of the eight spots in the tournament. The final four of the tournament will take place at the March Majesty pay-per-view near the end of the month; where the winner of the tournament will be crowned the Majesty of March!”

“And the winner of the tournament will receive a shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship at Endgame, the pay-per-view following March Majesty! I can’t wait!” Shake added in excitement, as Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is a March Majesty Tournament Qualifying Match!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage to boos from the crowd, raising a peace sign and the Television title belt above his head, towards the ring.

“Introducing first. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”

“Luigi was practically handed the Television title on a silver platter courtesy of Garfield last week!” Early said.

“But who knows how long he’ll be holding it, now that Claude Speed out of nowhere wants a piece of it?” Shake added.

“Wabbit” by Misshin plays as Daffy Duck runs onto the stage and strides down the ramp.

“And his opponent. . .from New York City, New York. . .DAFFY DUCK!!!”

“The Looney Tunes got a victory over the Super Mario Syndicate last week in a tag team match against Donkey Kong and Wario.” Early said.

“Will Daffy make it two in a row for the Tunes tonight?” Shake asked.

The bell rings and the match begins with Luigi and Daffy pacing around the ring. Daffy goes for a right hand but misses, and Luigi puts him into a waist-lock. Daffy elbows out of it and spins around Luigi, putting him in a waist-lock of his own! Daffy lifts him up for a German suplex but Luigi falls out of it and puts Daffy into a wrist-lock before taking him down with an arm drag. Daffy gets back up to his feet and Luigi hits him with a series of right hands. Luigi then Irish whips Daffy towards the ropes and takes him down with a backdrop! Luigi then picks Daffy up to his feet and takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Luigi goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicks out!

Luigi picks Daffy up to his feet and drags him towards a corner. Luigi hits him with chop after chop along the way until Daffy blocks a chop and spins Luigi around to face him. Daffy then slaps Luigi repeatedly with chops of his own until Luigi is backed up into a corner! Daffy then sits Luigi on top of the top turnbuckle and stands right below him on the middle turnbuckle. Daffy hits him with uppercut after uppercut, then takes him down with a Jumping Tornado DDT! Daffy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicks out!

“How the hell did he kick out of that?” Early wondered.

“He’s the Television Champion for a reason, Early! What resiliency!” Shake said.

Daffy gets back up and runs against the ropes. He jumps over Luigi who has rolled onto his chest, and bounces off the ropes on the other side. Luigi gets up to his feet only to be met with a dropkick from Daffy! Daffy goes for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicks out! Daffy gets off him, his eyes wide in shock! Daffy then pulls Luigi up to his feet and goes for a powerbomb, but Luigi grabs Daffy’s legs, takes him down and locks him in a Boston Crab!

“And what technical ability!” Shake added. “The momentum is back in Luigi’s favor!”

Daffy writhes in pain as he inches slowly towards the bottom rope. The referee asks Daffy if he wants to quit but Daffy shakes his head no. Daffy reaches out for the bottom rope. . .he gets closer and closer. . .and successfully grabs onto the rope! The referee orders Luigi to break the hold but he refuses. The referee starts the five count and Luigi lets go of Daffy’s legs at four. Luigi pulls Daffy back towards the center of the ring and tries to lock the Boston Crab in again but Daffy kicks Luigi back toward the ropes and takes him down with a drop toe hold on the bounceback! Daffy then puts Luigi in a headlock and lifts him up to his feet! Daffy pushes Luigi towards the ropes and takes him out with a spear! 

“Daffy’s gonna be the first entrant in the March Majesty tournament!” Early said.

“Check it out!” Shake said. “It’s Wario!”

Daffy taunts for Luigi to turn around, but turns to his left to see Wario on the ring apron for a brief second. He turns back to Luigi and goes for a Diamond Cutter, but Luigi pushes him toward the ropes. Wario then distracts the referee while Luigi puts on a set of spiked knuckles on his right hand! Daffy bounces off the ropes and is immediately met with the spiked right hand of Luigi! Wario steps off the ring apron and Luigi puts the spiked knuckles back in his overalls pocket before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1.. .

. .2. . .

. . .3!!! 

“DAMN IT! Luigi stole his way into the tournament!” Early yelled.

“Here is your winner. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”

The referee raises Luigi’s hand in victory and gives him the Television title belt. Wario then slides back into the ring and picks Daffy’s body up to his feet while Luigi puts the spiked knuckles back on his right hand!

“NO! Come on! This is too much---WAIT A MINUTE!” Early yelled, until Elmer Fudd ran down the ramp! 

Elmer slides into the ring and takes down Luigi with a Spinebuster! Wario charges at Elmer only to be met with another Spinebuster! Luigi and Wario roll out of the ring as Elmer taunts them. Luigi taunts back at him by raising the Television title belt as they walk up the ramp. Elmer checks on Daffy as he continues staring up the ramp.

“The war continues between the Looney Tunes and the Super Mario Syndicate!” Early said.

“When will it end between these two groups?” Shake asked.

In a backstage area, Snake strode through a parking lot until Carl Brutanandilewski caught up to him with a microphone in hand.

“Excuse me, Solid Snake. . .” Carl asked, “if I may, congratulations on regaining the Hardcore Championship. Way to give Tommy a dose of his own medicine!”

“Thank you.” Snake said. “He’s gonna get plenty more come Doomsday---“

“OH YEAH??” Tommy yelled from a distance.

Tommy ran into the parking lot and speared Snake against an SUV, sending Snake to the concrete ground! Tommy then hit Snake with a series of right hands!

“Here’s a stronger dose!!!” yelled Tommy as he picked Snake up to his feet.

Tommy slammed Snake’s head through the passenger side window of the SUV! Tommy looked to his left off-screen, with a wide grin on his face.

“NOW!” Tommy yelled to a referee outside the lot! Tommy went for the cover as the referee came into frame and made the count! 1. . .2. . .

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Shake yelled, as Arthur dove into frame and broke up the three-count with a dictionary to the back of Tommy’s head! 

“It’s Arthur! He’s out to regain the Hardcore title!” Early said.

Tommy sold the back of his head in pain as he rose to his feet. Arthur kneed Tommy in the gut and hit him square in the forehead with the dictionary, slamming his head against the SUV, knocking him out cold!

“By God! Tommy’s brains have been scrambled!” yelled Early, as Arthur went for the cover on Snake, before screaming “COUNT IT!” to the referee! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

Arthur got up and jumped up and down in celebration as the referee handed him the Hardcore title belt!

“Congratulations, Arthur!” said the referee. “You are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!”

“Arthur’s the champ again!” Shake said.

Arthur takes the Hardcore title belt as Solid Snake sits up, clenching his forehead. Arthur runs towards a sedan and gets into it as Snake gets up to his feet and charges towards the sedan but it backs up and drives out of the parking lot away from the arena! Snake stops in his tracks, catching his breath. He stomps on the ground and screams in frustration as Massacre goes to a commercial break.

“Everyone has a special night.”

“Welcome to WrestleMANIA!!!”

“We welcome you all to the Biggest Stage of them all, Wrestleversary!”

“Welcome everyone to the Grand Dojo of Animes, Anime Mania!”

“We cordially invite you. . .to ours.”

“XCW presents The Night of Nights: Animania! Coming this December.”

Back at the commentator’s table, Bugs Bunny walked down the ringside area until coming to the commentator’s table and putting on a set of headphones.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to ringside at this time. . .BUGS BUNNY!!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, where we will be joined at this time by the number one contender for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, Bugs Bunny! How are you tonight, Bugs?” Early asked.

“What’s up, Doc? I’m doing swell! Just here right now to give Mario a wake-up call!” Bugs said.

“The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event of the evening!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario runs onto the stage to boos from the crowd, raising the World title belt above his head, towards the ring.

“Introducing first. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. . .MARIO!!!”

“Really? How’s that, Bugs?” Shake asked.

“Well, you see, Shake, Mario’s getting sidetracked on the way to Doomsday. He wasn’t talking about me, or the Looney Tunes earlier tonight, instead, he’s talking trash about Tai and Claude! And so I’m here tonight to not only remind Mario that he has to defend his title against me inside a steel cage in 13 nights, but also to watch Claude bash his head in!”

Mario climbs on the top of the turnbuckle closest to the announce table and raises the belt above his head towards Bugs, staring him down.

“Yeah! Hi, Mario! You and I have a match soon, remember?”

Mario looks at Bugs with a sneer before stepping off the turnbuckle and looking down the ramp.

Upon pyro exploding on the stage, "No Mercy" by Pharaoh Monche plays and Claude Speed walks down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with a barbed-wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand.

“And his opponent. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“Now Claude Speed has been held out of action since being blindsided and embarrassed by Deadpool, WWE’s Toon Hardcore Champion! Needless to say, Claude has not been a happy camper since then!” Shake said.

Claude walks around the ring, resting his 2x4 against the announce table. Claude then enters the ring through the second rope and climbs onto the second turnbuckle, raising his fists toward the fans.

Shake: You got that right! I get the feeling he’s being held out of competition just for the safety of everyone on the roster! And Mario making fun of him only adds fuel to the fire!

“And what adds even more is that if Claude wins this match tonight, he gets a shot at Luigi’s Television Championship at Doomsday!” Early said.

The bell rings and the match begins with Claude and Mario pacing around the ring, glaring at each other. They charge towards each other and tie-up in the center of the ring. Mario puts Claude into a side headlock and takes him down with a headlock takedown. Mario squeezes the hold on Claude until the referee starts the five count. Mario lets go of the hold when the count gets to four. Mario gets up and lands a Leg Drop onto Claude! Mario gets up, runs against the ropes and takes him down with another Leg Drop! Mario goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicks out!

Mario picks Claude up by the hair and goes for a bulldog, but Claude shoves him off, towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Claude hits Mario with a Lou Thesz Press, and nails him with a fury of right and left hands! Claude then runs against the ropes and connects with a Falling Elbow onto Mario! Claude then stomps onto Mario’s chest repeatedly!

“Good Lord! Mario’s taking a beating!” Early said.

“Come on Claude!” Bugs cheered. “There has to be something left of him for Doomsday!”

Claude runs against the ropes again and takes Mario out with a falling fist to the face! Claude goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicks out! Claude brings Mario up to his feet, but Mario rakes his eyes, and takes him down with a Jawbreaker! Mario raises up a peace sign to the crowd, who boos at him. Mario then pulls Claude to the center of the ring and locks him into the Boston Crab! Claude screams in pain as he reaches for the ropes!

“Mario’s got him in the Boston Crab submission! The pain must be excruciating!” Early said.

“As someone who has been in that submission hold many a time, Early, you’re damn right it is!” Bugs said.

Claude slaps his arms on the mat as he worms towards the bottom rope. The referee asks Claude if he wants to quit but he rapidly shakes his head no. Claude crawls slowly towards the bottom rope. . .he gets closer. . .and closer. . .and successfully latches onto the bottom rope! The referee gets into Mario’s face and starts the five count, with Mario letting go as it gets to four. Mario then grabs Claude by the legs and pulls him back into the center of the ring. 

Mario goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicks out! Mario gets off Claude and looks down at him in shocked anger! Mario then raises the peace sign above his head and screamed “CHAMPION OF LIFE!!!” in Claude’s face. Mario then climbs up to the top turnbuckle and goes for the Super Mario Splash but Claude moves out of the way! Mario clenches his chest and screams in pain as Claude pulls himself up to his feet with the ropes. Claude sizes Mario up as he stumbles to his feet. . .Claude runs towards Mario and goes for a Bicycle Kick, only for Mario to pull down the top rope, sending Claude down to the ringside area!

Mario climbs onto the top turnbuckle and sizes up Claude, who slowly rises to his feet, but rests his hands on his knees, selling them. Mario jumps off the top rope and takes down Claude with a Diving Leg Drop! 

“Good God! Both men are down near our table! Who’s gonna win this thing?” Early wondered.

Mario and Claude both slowly rise to their feet, trading right hands as the referee begins the ten count. Claude goes for a right hand on Mario, but he kicks Claude in the midsection and takes him down for a suplex! Not letting him go, Mario picks Claude up again and takes him down with another suplex! Mario starts to lift Claude up for another suplex but turns his head towards Bugs and stares him down. At this point the referee’s count is up to five.

Mario drops Claude and gets into Bugs’ face.

“HERE’S WHAT I’M GONNA DO TO YOU AT DOOMSDAY!”

Mario walks to the front of the announce table and picks up the barbed wire 2x4. He sets it up behind himself and picks Claude up again for another suplex. At this point the referee’s count is at seven.

“No way! He’s sending a message to you, Bugs!” Shake said.

“But at his brother’s expense!” Bugs added.

“Exactly!” Early agreed. “He’ll get himself disqualified!”

Mario has Claude up in the air and takes him down with a suplex on the barbed wire 2x4! Claude screams in agonizing pain! The referee calls for the bell to be rung as Mario stands back up and stares down Bugs, who takes off his headset and gets off his chair!

“The winner of this match as a result of a disqualification. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“Claude gets a shot at the Television title at Doomsday!” Early exclaimed.

Bugs and Mario step closer to each other until they are face-to-face!

“But these two meet inside a STEEL CAGE for our most coveted prize!” Shake said.

Bugs and Mario stare each other down for another minute. . .until they both trade massive right hands out of nowhere!

“THEY DON’T WANT TO WAIT UNTIL DOOMSDAY!” Early screamed. “They’re going at it right now!”

They continue to exchange right hands until Mario pushes Bugs into the ring apron! Bugs moans in pain before Mario puts him into a side headlock. Mario then pulls Bugs up against the announce table!

“He wouldn’t!” Early said.

“He totally would!” Shake responded.

Early and Shake move away from the table as Mario goes to lift Bugs up for a suplex! Bugs, however, stays firmly on the ground! Mario lifts him up one more time only to be hit with a quick right hand by Bugs! Bugs lands onto his feet and knees Mario in the midsection. Bugs then sets Mario up below his chest. Bugs then raises his arm up and the crowd cheers!

Bugs lifts Mario up. . .and takes him out with a Bunny Bomb through the announce table!!! Bugs turns around and lets out a yell as the crowd cheers. Bugs strides to the timekeeper’s booth and grabs the World title belt and a microphone. Bugs looks down at Mario.

“That’s what I’ll do. . .TO YOU. . .at Doomsday! Ain’t I a stinker?” Bugs said before dropping the microphone and raising the title belt above his head, towards the crowd as Massacre went off the air!

Results:

Solid Snake and Peach defeat Tommy Vercetti and Yuna  
Solid Snake defeats Tommy Vercetti (Becomes new Hardcore Champion)  
Ed defeats Jak  
Luigi defeats Daffy Duck (enters March Majesty tournament)  
Claude Speed defeats Mario (via DQ)

Alrighty, there’s part 2. Again feel free to let me know if there are any character inconsistencies. But the thing I’m most concerned with is the promo between Sora and Jon in part 1 because it’s the start of something that will last throughout the majority of this fic. RATE/REVIEW!!!


	9. XCW Doomsday

On the day following TNA’s historically terrible pay-per-view, Victory Road, comes Part one of XCW Doomsday! I only own my championships.

“And now. . .XCW Presents DOOMSDAY!!!”

“Thoughtless” by Korn played as fireworks exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“Welcome to Doomsday, ladies and gentlemen! We are here live from the Legion Arena in New Vegas, ready to bring you some exciting animated wrestling action! And there you see hanging high above the ring, the twenty-foot high steel cage that Mario and Bugs Bunny will fight inside for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight, Shake, I shudder to think what will happen inside that steel cage!”

“So do I, Early! But that’s not all! We have a literal retelling of David versus Goliath tonight, when Tai Kamiya takes on Garfield in a one-on-one match!”

“It’ll be a night full of thrills, rest assured! Starting with a match that has the Women’s title on the line!”

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Championship!”

“Simple and Clean” by Utada Hikaru played as Yuna strutted onto the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .from Besaid. . .YUNA!!!”

“Yuna hasn’t exactly had Peach’s number in recent weeks, albeit in only tag matches.” Early said.

“A win tonight would be a HUGE reversal of fortune!” Shake said.

“Brackish” by Kittie played as Peach strutted down the ramp to boos from the crowd, motioning her hands over the Women’s title belt around her waist and taunting the crowd.

“And her opponent. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .she is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Champion. . .PEACH!!!”

“Peach has gotten her way multiple times since winning the Women’s Championship at Whiplash!” said Early.

Peach blows a kiss to the referee as she takes off the Women's title belt.

“You got that right!” Shake said. “She’s gotten away with everything but---I should probably stop right now.”

The bell rings, signaling the start of the match. Yuna and Peach pace around the ring, engaged in a stare down. Peach and Yuna run towards each other in the center of the ring, Peach nailing Yuna with a right hand while Yuna knees Peach in the gut. Peach ties Yuna up in a waist lock, then grabs her by the hair and slams her face-up onto the mat! Peach then sits right above Yuna and starts punching and slapping her in the face with furious slaps and right hands! Peach then gets off Yuna and paces to the front of a corner turnbuckle. Yuna slowly sits up only for Peach to run towards her and knee her in the jaw! Peach goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicks out!

Peach pulls Yuna up by the hair, but Yuna punches her in the midsection. Yuna runs against the ropes and on the bounceback, takes Peach down with Flying Headscissors! Yuna taunts for Peach to get up and takes her down with two straight side headlock takedowns! Yuna runs against the ropes again as Peach sits up, only to be met with a dropkick to the back! Yuna goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicks out!

Yuna picks Peach up to her feet and pulls her over to the corner turnbuckle. Yuna then slaps Peach in the chest with furious chop after chop, eventually sending Peach to fall in a seated position in the corner! 

“Yuna taking it to the Women’s Champion!” Early said as he called the match.

“Who knows how much longer Peach HAS as the Women’s Champion?” Shake wondered.

Yuna picks Peach back up and pulls her up to the middle rope of the turnbuckle! Yuna raises her hand up and lets out a scream, with the crowd cheering back. Yuna goes for a Jumping Tornado DDT, only for Peach to push her out of it, sending her to fall to the mat below! Peach then climbs up to the top rope, and extends her arms out at her sides.

“Just like that, Peach is back in control!” Early observed.

“Here comes the Peach Press!” Shake said in anticipation!

Peach jumps off the top rope, going for the Peach Press, only for Yuna to roll out of the way! Peach slams face and chest first onto the mat, yelling in pain as she clenches her abdomen! Yuna sits up in the corner of the ring, pulling herself up by grabbing onto the middle rope. Yuna turns to face Peach and taunts for her to get up!

“Yuna now with the best opportunity to strike!” Early said.

Yuna charges at Peach as she gets up to her knees, goes for the Shining Wizard kick, but Peach counters it into the Abdominal Stretch! Yuna writhes in pain as Peach clenches the hold tighter and tighter! The referee kneels in front of Yuna, asking her if she wants to quit. Yuna shakes her head no as she inches slowly toward the bottom rope! Peach squeezes on the hold tighter and tighter as Yuna extends her hand towards the rope. . .

. . .getting closer and closer. . .

. . .but Yuna taps out!

“Peach with a successful title defense!” Early said as the bell rang!

“Here is your winner. . .AND STILL the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Champion. . .PEACH!!!”

Women’s title belt in hand, the referee tells Peach that the match is over, but Peach keeps the hold locked in!

“You won the match, Peach! This is uncalled for!” Early yelled.

Yuna shrieks in pain as she taps out again, with Peach applying more pressure! The referee yells at Peach again, and she finally lets go of the hold, with Yuna clenching her abdomen as Peach snatches the Women’s title belt from the referee! Peach puts the belt around her waist and raises her arms above her head, cheering in celebration as the crowd boos her.

“Like Sora before her, Yuna was the result of a disgusting act at the hands of Peach!” Early said.

Peach struts up the ramp, pointing at the belt around her waist as the crowd continues to boo her. Yuna lays face down in the ring, crying in pain, holding her abdomen as the referee checks on her.

“She’s only making one thing perfectly clear, Early.” Shake said to his broadcast partner. “That she is, and always will be the best Women’s Champion not just in XCW, but also in all of fiction wrestling!”

Backstage, Carl Brutanandilewski stood in a dark hallway next to Tommy Vercetti, who had his face against a wall. His hands were in fists above his head, against the wall.

“Tommy Vercetti,” Carl asked, “. . .tonight, you go up against Arthur and Solid Snake in a triple threat match for the XCW Hardcore Championship. Last week, you were choked out by Snake and ambushed by Arthur last week on Massacre. . .do you consider yourself prepared for tonight?”

Carl puts the microphone up to Tommy’s face, but he doesn’t move.

“Tommy?”

“Oh, you bet your ass I’m prepared.” Tommy answered. “After tonight, when Snake and Arthur lay in a pool of each other’s blood. . .they will learn that my name is Tommy Vercetti. . .”

Tommy turns his head towards Carl, revealing a huge hole in the wall in front of him, and his face busted wide open!

“. . .and I’m here to raise HELL!”

Tommy stomped away from Carl, who was left surprised.

“Wow.”

Aggressive rock music played as Vash The Stampede posed on the ramp to a mixed reaction.

“The following contest is a March Majesty Tournament Qualifying Match, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from Planet Gunsmoke. . .VASH THE STAMPEDE!!!”

“Snake and Arthur better be as prepared for tonight as Tommy is right now!” Early said.

“I dunno, Early!” Shake doubted. “I wouldn’t expect either one of them to bust themselves open WELL before the start of the match!”

“Well, nevertheless, right now Vash The Stampede is set to compete for an open spot in the 2012 March Majesty Tournament!” Early said.

"Tank!" by The Seatbelts played as Spike Spiegel walked down the ramp with a cigarette in his mouth to a mixed reaction from the crowd!

“And his opponent. . .from Planet Mars. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

“The last time we saw Spike Spiegel in action, he was being wheeled up the ramp following a Hardcore title match!” Early said.

“But since then, his facial injuries have healed up, and now Spike is here to claim a spot in the tournament for himself! But he has to get past another Japanese cowboy drifter in order to do so!” Shake said.

The bell rings and the match begins with Spike and Vash in a tie-up. Vash puts Spike in a side headlock and hits his head over and over with right hands. Spike knees Vash in the gut then hits him in the midsection with chop after chop until he is up against the ropes. Spike then Irish whips Vash to the ring ropes on the other side. On the bounceback, Spike picks Vash up and takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Spike goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Vash kicks out!

Spike picks Vash up to his feet but Vash rakes his eyes upon getting up. Vash hits Spike with another right hand and Irish whips him face-first into the corner. Vash runs towards Spike and hits him in the back of the head with a clothesline! Vash then pushes Spike back into the corner, climbs onto the second rope and hits him in the face with ten straight right hands, with the crowd counting along to them! Spike falls face down on the mat and Vash goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicks out!

“Pure brutality from these two men! Who will advance into the March Majesty tournament?” Early asked.

Vash then locks Spike into an STF! Spike screams in pain, gasping for breath as he tries to squirm out of the hold, but to no avail. The referees kneels down and asks Spike if he wants to quit, but he raises his hand well above the mat, shaking his head no. He worms toward the ropes, extending his hand closer and closer to the bottom rope. . .and successfully grabs onto it! The referee then orders Vash to let go of the hold, starting the five count. Vash finally lets go of the hold when the count gets to four. Vash then pulls Spike back to the center of the ring and climbs up to the top rope!

“Vash looking to put Spike away here!” Early said.

Vash raises his fist above his head in a taunting gesture! Spike rises up to his knees and Vash jumps off the top rope for a Guillotine Leg Drop, but Spike rolls out of the way, sending Vash to fall right onto the mat! Both men are down in the center of the ring as the referee begins the 10 count!

Spike struggles to get up to his knees, pulling up on the north side ropes to get to his feet, while Vash does the same on the east side of the ring. Spike and Vash charge at each other, getting into a tie up. Vash puts Spike in a waist-lock and lifts him up for a German suplex but Spike falls out of it, putting Vash in a headlock before suplexing him to the mat! Spike runs against the ropes and on the bounceback, lands a falling elbow to Vash’s face! Spike goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Vash kicks out!

Spike pulls Vash up to his feet and ties him up in a front face lock. Vash fights out of it with a thrust right to the midsection, then a neckbreaker! Vash then stands back up and sizes Spike up as he staggers up to his feet. Vash goes for a superkick but Spike grabs Vash’s leg, spins him around and takes him down with a Full Nelson Slam! The crowd now on their feet, Spike backs up a few steps and slams his right foot down on the mat three times, taunting Vash to get up!

“Spike now tuning up the band. . .” Early said, as Vash rose to his feet. . .

. . .only for Spike to nail him in the jaw with Real Folk Blues! Spike goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Spike gets off Vash and raises his fists above his head in celebration!

“Here is your winner. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

The referee raised Spike’s arm up in victory as Vash sold his face in pain, clenching it while tossing on the mat.

“Spike Spiegel making a statement here tonight! He is back and better than ever!” Shake said.

Spike exits the ring above the middle rope as he pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pants pocket.

“And with that statement, he now finds himself in the March Majesty Tournament!” said Early.

Meanwhile, in their locker room, Edd laid on a bench press lifting a massive amount of weight, too much weight, with Ed behind the press spotting him. 

“Come on, Double D! If I can do it, you can!” Ed said to his tag team partner.

Ed helps Edd lift the bar full of weights on each side. Edd’s face turns red and he groans in agonizing pain as the bar falls to his chest and he struggles to lift it. Ed helps him lift the bar until Nazz walks into the room.

“Hey guys!” Nazz said.

Ed and Edd turn to look at Nazz and start to sweat profusely. Ed stands upright while the bar falls back onto Edd, who groans in pain.

“Uhh. . .hi Nazz.” the Eds said, greeting their friend nervously.

Ed looks down at Edd and quickly puts the bar back up. Edd slowly sits up, clenching his side.

“What. . .what brings you here?” Edd asked.

“Well, I know this is last minute, but seeing how you two are representing Peach Creek in your tag title match tonight, I was wondering if I could join you guys at ringside for support, if you needed it?” wondered Nazz.

Edd stares at Nazz nervously, while Ed looks at her completely oblivious.

“NO PROBLEMO!” Ed said with excitement.

Nazz smiled with the same excitement.

“Great! Thank you so much, guys! I’ll see you before the match!”

Nazz left the room as Edd turned to stare at Ed, more nervous than before.

“Uh-oh! The Eds are bringing eye candy out to the ring tonight!” Shake said.

“Will it work for them or fail miserably?” wondered Early, as the show went back to the ring, where Plankton stood with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Championship!”

Upon pyro exploding on the stage, "No Mercy" by Pharaoh Monche plays and Claude Speed walks down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with a barbed-wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand.

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“Claude Speed won a shot at Luigi’s Television title this past Monday night on Massacre, after Mario suplexed him onto his own barbed-wire 2x4 to send a message to Bugs regarding the main event tonight!” Early informed.

Claude walks around the ring, resting his 2x4 against a ring post. Claude then enters the ring through the second rope and climbs onto the second turnbuckle, raising his fists toward the fans.

“You said it yourself, Early!” Shake enforced. “Claude won the match via disqualification! He didn’t prove a thing against Mario, and he won’t last a minute against Luigi tonight.”

“I’m gonna have to disagree with you there, Shake. Claude has proven himself to be a fierce competitor in XCW. Despite the match’s outcome, he continued to show plenty of that ferocity last week, and in my eyes, he will walk out of here as the new Television Champion!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi runs onto the stage to boos from the crowd, raising a peace sign and the Television title belt above his head, towards the ring.

“And his opponent. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”

“If you want to talk about someone who doesn’t deserve the success he has, talk about Luigi!” Early said.

“Are you kidding me, Early?” Shake asked. “Luigi is a member of the Super Mario Syndicate, and brother of the World Champion, Mario! He has the pedigree of a champion, and he was due to win a title early in his career here in XCW! And I have a feeling he will go even further next month, because he’s my pick to win the March Majesty Tournament!”

The bell rings and the match starts with Claude staring down Luigi. Luigi runs toward him to put him in a tie-up only to run right into a right hand from Claude! Claude continues to hit Claude with right hand after right hand until he is backed into a corner. Claude hits him with a fury of punches until Luigi falls into a seated position in the corner. Claude backs up against the opposite corner and goes for a knee to the face of Luigi but he spins out of the way, sending Claude face-first into the corner! Claude bounces off the corner on impact and Luigi goes for a quick roll-up pin! 1. . .2. . .Claude kicks out!

Luigi picks Claude up to his feet and knees him in the midsection. Luigi bounces off the ropes and goes for a swinging neckbreaker but Claude pushes Luigi off of him, towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Claude hits Luigi with a Lou Thesz Press and hammers away on Luigi’s face with a fury of right and left hands! Claude gets off Luigi and yells toward the crowd, who cheer in response. Claude bounces off the ropes and hits Luigi with a falling elbow! Claude gets back up, bounces off the ropes on the other side, and hits Luigi in the face with a falling knee! Claude goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicks out!

Claude Irish whips Luigi toward the ropes but Luigi counters with an Irish whip of his own, sending Claude over the top rope to land on the ringside floor! Claude struggles to get up to his feet as Luigi jumps off the top rope, taking Claude down with a Diving Leg Drop! Luigi picks Claude up and slams his head against the ring apron, then against the barricade as the referee begins the ten-count. 

“Outside the ring is not the place you want to be when you face Claude!” Early said.

Luigi Irish whips Claude towards the steel steps, sending Claude to run into them with a sickening thud! Luigi lumbers over to Claude and picks him up by the hair. He tries to ram Claude’s head into the steel ring post but Claude counters and rams Luigi into the ring post shoulder-first! Claude then grabs Luigi by the overalls and throws him over the timekeeper’s booth! The referee’s count is up to four at this point. 

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “Luigi’s learning that the hard way right now!”

Claude staggers over to the timekeeper’s booth and grabs Luigi by the overalls again, pulling him out of the booth. He Irish whips Luigi hard against the ring apron, causing Luigi to wince in pain as Claude pushes him under the bottom rope, back into the ring. Claude slides in after him and goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

LUIGI KICKS OUT! Claude rises up to his knees in shock!

“How in the hell did Luigi kick out, after all that?” Early wondered.

“He’s a great champion, Early! That’s all I can tell ya.” Shake responded.

Claude pulls Luigi up to his knees and socks him with an uppercut, sending him back down to the mat. Claude then runs against the ropes and goes for a leg drop but Luigi rolls out of the way! Claude groans in pain as Luigi runs against the ropes and hits Claude with a dropkick! Luigi goes for the cover 1. .. 

2\. . .

CLAUDE KICKS OUT!

Luigi rolls Claude onto his chest and pulls his feet up in trying to lock him in the Boston Crab submission! Claude, however, fights out of it and puts Luigi in a full nelson stretch! Luigi quickly elbows out of it, turns around and ties Claude up in a front face lock, going for another neckbreaker but Claude counters it into a neckbreaker of his own! Claude then runs toward Luigi as he rises to his feet and lands on him for a Lou Thesz Press, then hammers away at his face with furious punches! The crowd gets into a frenzy as Claude swears like a sailor in intensity! 

“Listen to this crowd, Early!” Shake said in reaction!

“They know what’s coming, Shake! We’re gonna have a new Television Champion!”

Claude then turns around and taunts Luigi to get up until a familiar face shows up on the titantron!

“Hey Speed!”

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Early cried. “It’s Deadpool from WWE’s Animated Division!”

Claude turns around and looks up at the titantron to see Deadpool on the screen!

“Remember me?”

Claude stares at Deadpool in disbelief!

“You know, the guy who embarrassed and humiliated you in front of millions of people around the fictionverse? Time sure flies when you’re endlessly waiting! I think that’s how the old saying goes. . .anywho, you said that a one-man army would be coming my way? Well, unless it was Digivolution you were referring to, I haven’t seen one on Animated turf to speak of! Regardless, I got tired of waiting around for you to start the war you promised, so come find me in the back later tonight, and the Immortals and I will start the war for you! By the way. . .you’re still in a match right now, so. . .you might wanna turn around. . .”

Claude turns around and is immediately met with a Jawbreaker from Luigi!

“LUIGI WITH A JAWBREAKER! DAMN IT!” Early yelled, as Luigi climbed onto the top rope and nailed Claude with the Super Mario Splash! Selling his midsection, Luigi covered Claude! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

“Luigi’s still the Champion!” Early said as the bell rang!

“Here is your winner. . .AND STILL the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”

The referee raises Luigi’s hand in victory and hands him the Television title belt. As Luigi exits the ring, raising the belt above his head and taunting the crowd, Claude slowly rises to one knee with a look of disdain.

“Claude has to get a monkey off his back!” Early said.

“And that monkey’s name is Deadpool!”

Claude stands back up and exits the ring, stomping down the ramp in anger.  
Backstage, Tai and Sora stood in a hallway next to Carl Brutanandilewski, who had a microphone in hand.

“Tai Kamiya,” Carl asked, “. . .the last time we saw you, you were left a bloody mess inside a hole in the middle of the ring following a brutal attack from Garfield. Tonight marks your return to action, in a one-on-one match against him. Are you nervous at all for your well-being?”

“Am I nervous for my well being?” Tai responded. “All that attack proved was that Garfield is capable of utter destruction, and show me what I’m up against. But last week, Jon Arbuckle said some things to Sora that got to me. I came out in his match against Bugs because since the birth of this company, he has been screwed over time and time again, and I wasn’t gonna stand for it anymore! And yes, it’s true, before winning the Television Championship here in XCW, there was a long stretch where I didn’t hold a title. But I still walked through that curtain, ran down the ramp, and put my body on the line night in and night out, and put on a show for everyone of those people out there! And if Jon and Garfield did their research. . .they would have realized that when the odds are against me, as they are tonight, I am capable of taking things to the extreme. So I’m not nervous for my well being. But Garfield should be for HIS.”

Tai and Sora walked past Carl.

“The following tag team contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Championship!”

All the lights go off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by "YOU EEEDIOT!" followed by Scott Steiner's TNA music plays, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walk onto the stage and down the ramp with the Tag title belts around their waist.

“Introducing first. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia, they are the XCW Tag Team Champions. . .REN AND STIMPY!!!”

“Ren and Stimpy joined us on commentary last weekend in hopes of finding a weakness in Ed, the muscle of Team Ed!” reminded Early.

“Sadly no weakness could be found. . .but will the Eds screw themselves over in bringing their crush to ringside?” wondered Shake.

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio plays and the lights dim in the arena. Once the heavy guitars kick on, pyro explodes on the stage and Ed, Edd, and Nazz jump onto the stage from below it, to a standing ovation.

“And their opponents. . .being accompanied to the ring by Nazz. . .from Peach Creek. . .ED and DOUBLE D. . .TEAM ED!!!”

“There’s so much riding on this match for both teams! Ren and Stimpy are fighting for their titles; the Eds are fighting to back up their promises in ushering in the ‘Age of Ed’. Who will be victorious in this match?” asked Early.

Ed and Edd run down the ramp making the name 'Ed' with their hands. They slide into the ring and climb on each turnbuckle.

“The Eds are also fighting to honor their new valet of sorts! What role will Nazz have in this match? Will she cheer the Eds on, or get involved?” Shake wondered.

The referee raises the tag title belts above his head, and the match begins with Edd facing off against Ren.

“We’ll have to wait and see, Shake!”

Ren and Edd pace around the ring, staring at each other. Edd and Ren then meet in the center of the ring for a tie-up. Edd puts Ren in a side headlock only for Ren to push Edd towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Ren fights out of the hold, runs toward the ropes and jumps off them over Edd, and knees him in the gut. Ren bounces off the ropes again and goes for a neckbreaker, but Edd grabs onto Ren and lifts him up for a back drop! Ren, however, falls out of it and kicks Edd in the gut, then goes for a quick roll-up pin 1. . .Edd kicks out! 

Edd and Ren run into another tie-up, with Ren putting Edd in a waist-lock! Edd elbows out of it, runs behind Ren and pushes him toward the ropes. Edd waits for Ren on the bounceback, but Ren takes him down with Flying Headscissors! Edd immediately gets up, Irish whips Ren into the corner and takes Ren down with Flying Headscissors of his own! Ren gets back up and he and Edd go for jumping missile dropkicks to each other but they miss. Ren and Edd immediately get up to their knees and stare each other down again as the crowd erupts into cheers.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are at a stand-off!” Early announced.

Shake agreed. “These two are very evenly matched!”

Ren goes for another tie-up on Edd but he quickly tags in Ed! Ed climbs into the ring over the ropes, Irish whips Ren against the ropes and takes him down with a massive clothesline! Before Ren can make a tag to Stimpy, Ed grabs Ren by the legs and slingshots him into a corner! Reeling from the hit, Ren stumbles into a headlock takedown from Ed! Ed then stomps on Ren and lands a falling elbow onto Ren’s sternum before going for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ren kicks out!

Ed pulls Ren up to his feet and Irish whips him into his corner, where Stimpy makes the blind tag in. Stimpy jumps onto the top rope and goes for a Flying Crossbody but Ed catches him and takes him down with a fall-away slam! Stimpy sells his lower back, screaming in pain, while Ed is standing up on his feet, taunting him to get up. Stimpy struggles to stand up to his feet, turns around and stumbles right into a belly-to-belly suplex from Ed! Stimpy pulls himself up to his feet by pushing down on the ropes. Ed charges at him for another clothesline, but Stimpy pulls down on the top rope, sending Ed to fall over the ropes, to the ringside area! Stimpy then runs against the ropes on the other side of the ring, jumps over the ropes and hits Ed with a running splash on the outside!

“Holy crap!” screamed Shake.

“Ed is finally down!” Early said. “Can Stimpy take advantage, as the referee begins the ten-count?”

Stimpy and Ed rise to their feet, and Stimpy hits Ed in the face with a series of right hands that back Ed up to the ring post. Ed manages to block a punch and Irish whip Stimpy into the ring post, only for Ren to jump off the ring apron and take him down with a Jumping Tornado DDT! Ren then Irish whips Ed over the announce table! Shake and Early move well out of the way as the referee’s count goes up to three. Ren then removes the protective covering and TV monitors from the announce table and Stimpy staggers to the other side, lifting Ed up to his knees. 

“Ren and Stimpy are setting out to do what they promised, to drive Ed through a table!” Shake said.

“Not this again!” screamed Early.

Stimpy brings Ed up to his feet and lifts him up for an R&S Death Drop but Edd runs up to Ren and takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker, and Ed counters Stimpy’s move into a DDT on the concrete! Ed picks Stimpy up and slides him back into the ring as the referee’s count reaches five. Ed then goes for a cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicks out!

“That’s impossible! Stimpy’s brain has been scrambled for the entire match!” Early said.

Shake laughed. “What brain?”

Ed picks Stimpy up and drags him over to Team Ed’s corner but Stimpy punches Ed in the gut repeatedly, fighting out of the hold. Stimpy Irish whips Ed towards the ropes and on the bounceback, takes him down with a side headlock takedown! As Ed sits back up, Stimpy runs against the ropes and takes Ed down with a tackle! Stimpy runs against the ropes again and lands a Stimpy Splash onto Ed! The referee makes the count 1. . .

2\. . .

ED KICKS OUT!

Stimpy rolls off Ed and shoots back up to his feet, taunting for Ed to get up. As Ed struggles up to his feet, Stimpy goes for a Log Cutter but Ed grabs Stimpy in mid air and takes him down for a back drop! Ed and Stimpy lie in the center of the ring, and begin to crawl to their corners for a tag!

“Both men are down and looking to make a tag! Who’s gonna win the Tag Team Championship?” asked Early.

Edd and Ren slap repeatedly on their respective top turnbuckles in anticipation for a tag! Ed and Stimpy inch closer and closer to their corners. . .

. . .they extend their hands out. . .

. . .and successfully tag in Edd and Ren! Edd and Ren jump over all three ropes and charge at each other, meeting in the center of the ring with a tie-up; and Ren putting Edd into a waist-lock! Ren picks Edd up for a German suplex but Edd falls out of it and puts Ren into a Full Nelson lock! Ren kicks Edd in the leg, breaking the hold. Ren then spins behind Edd and takes him down with a Reverse DDT! Ren then climbs to the second rope and hits Edd with a Diving Leg Drop! Ren goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ed breaks up the three count! Ren charges toward Ed and takes him down with a bulldog! As Ed rolls out of the ring, Ren turns around to face Edd but is immediately met with a Jumping Missile Dropkick right in the face! Edd then climbs to the top rope and lands the Diving Edsault onto Ren! Edd goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .

REN KICKS OUT!

“HOW CLOSE DID WE JUST COME TO HAVING NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS??” Shake said.

“Edd can’t believe it!” yelled Early.

Edd stands back up and looks at Ed, pointing up at the top turnbuckle! Edd picks Ren up to his feet and tags in Ed. Edd then sits Ren up onto his own shoulders while Ed climbs up to the top turnbuckle!

“NO WAY!” screamed Shake!

“They’ve got Ren set up for the DoomsEd Device!” Early said.

Ren suddenly jumps off of Edd’s shoulders and lands an Enziguri kick onto Ed’s head! Ed falls off the turnbuckle to the mat while Stimpy charges in the ring and tackles Edd down! Edd rolls out of the ring while Stimpy raises his arms above his head and screams at the crowd, who cheer back. Stimpy pulls Ed’s legs up and spreads them apart while Ren climbs up to the top rope! Stimpy looks up and screams “WASSSSUPPP??!?!?” to Ren, who screams it back. Ren then dives off the top rope and hits Ed with a headbutt to the groin! 

“The momentum back in the champs’ favor!” Early called, as Ren went for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . . 

EDD BREAKS UP THE THREE COUNT!

“WHERE DID EDD COME FROM???” cried Early as Edd got up to his feet. . .

. . .only for Stimpy to immediately take him down with the Log Cutter! Edd rolls out of the ring as Stimpy picks Ed up to his feet while Ren runs to the other side of the ring! Stimpy picks Ed up by the legs for the R&S Death Drop but. . .

“WAIT A MINUTE! NAZZ ON THE RING APRON!” Early yelled.

Nazz suddenly climbs onto the ring apron and wrings Ren’s head on the top rope!

“NAZZ GOT INVOLVED! THE REFEREE NEVER SAW IT!” screamed Early, while Ed fell out of Stimpy’s hold and picked Ren up onto his shoulders! Stimpy charges at him but Ed takes him down with a Big Boot! Stimpy rolls out of the ring as Ed takes Ren down with---

“THE ELEDRIFIER!!! ED GOT HIM WITH THE ELEDRIFIER! ED’S GOT THE COVER!!!” Early screamed, as the referee made the count! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!!!

“IT’S OVER! WE’VE GOT NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!” Early cried as the bell rang!

Ed slaps his hands onto the mat and stands back up, intensely yelling in victory as the crowd erupts into a frenzy!!!

“Here are your winners. . .AND THE NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. . .TEAM ED!!!”

“THIS SELLOUT CROWD IS IN A FRENZY!!! TEAM ED HAS DEFEATED REN AND STIMPY!!” Early yelled in excitement.

“These two teams stood toe-to-toe with each other! But could the Eds have gained the upper hand without help from Nazz?” Shake wondered.

Edd slides back into the ring and the referee hands he and Ed the tag title belts. The referee then raises their arms in victory! As the referee exits the ring, Nazz slides into it and hugs the Eds!

“That’s a good question, Shake! Ren and Stimpy had the same amount of energy that the Eds had all match! But the one thing they lacked was a manager! But nevertheless, we have new XCW Tag Team Champions!”

The Eds climb onto different corner turnbuckles, raising the tag title belts above their heads in celebration.

“And the Age of Ed is underway!” Shake added. “I can only imagine what’s gonna happen next!”

Backstage in a locker room, Garfield and Jon sat in their locker room in folding chairs, scheming.

“You know what Tai is, Garfield?” Jon asked, motivating Garfield. “Tai is a great big SPIDER that you just can’t wait to squash! You want to take your fist. . .and pound the life out of that spider until it can’t move a single leg---“

Jon’s cell phone rang, interrupting him as Garfield became more furious with anger. Jon pulled his phone out of his pants pocket and answered it.

“Hold on a second. . .hello? Oh, hi—“

Jon’s smile fell into a look of shock.

“Really? Okay. Thank you. . .”

Jon hung up the phone.

“That was the chairman.” Jon said to Garfield, who looked back at him as if to hold back anger.

“Don’t worry.” Jon assured. “We’re still on for tonight. But tomorrow night on Massacre, there will be a major announcement from headquarters. And it’s going to affect the ENTIRE roster of XCW.”

“An announcement that will affect the roster of XCW?” Early asked.

“I can only imagine what’s in store for us!” Shake said in reserved excitement, as the show went back to the ring, where Plankton stood with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .it is a Triple Threat match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship!”

“Wayfarer” by Kavinsky plays as a Securicar van backs down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .the challengers. . .first, from Vice City, Florida. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

Blood still pouring down his face, Tommy Vercetti gets out of the van and stomps toward the double doors on the back of the van, facing the ring. 

“It’s safe to say that Tommy is going into this match prepared, mentally and physically!” Early said.

He opens them and starts throwing weapon after weapon in the ring. Notables include a ladder, five steel chairs, a couple street signs, and multiple trash cans.

“You call that prepared? I call it psychotic!” Shake exclaimed.

“Amerika” by Rammstein plays as Solid Snake steps down the ramp towards the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd with a kendo stick in hand.

“From The United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

“Solid Snake was the Hardcore Champion for most of the night last week on Massacre after passing Tommy out with a sleeper hold!” Early informed.

“But then Tommy ambushed him in the back before the main event, and then Arthur, being the great champion that he is, took advantage of both Tommy and Snake being down, and escaped Monday Night Massacre as the new Hardcore Champion!” Shake added.

“CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA?” followed by Booker T’s WWE theme plays as Arthur walks onto the stage with a dictionary in hand to boos from the crowd.

“And from Elwood City. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .ARTHUR!!!”

“With Tommy and Snake in the same ring, tonight, Shake, Arthur is in for a rude awakening!” Early guaranteed.

Arthur poses on the stage as pyro and flames erupt from it.

“Come on, Early!” Shake said. “Arthur still has a legitimate shot! After all, if he just lets the two psychopaths beat the hell out of each other, then sneak in for the victory!”

Arthur lurches down the ramp, looking at Tommy and Snake with a nervous look on his face.

“Just like the last two times he’s won the title? Tonight is the best chance for Arthur to prove his worth as the Hardcore Champion by defending his title in a fight like a real man would!” Early said, as Snake and Tommy slid out of the ring and charged at Arthur, with Snake taking him down with a massive clothesline! 

The bell then rings, signaling the start of the match! Tommy mounts Arthur and hammers away at him with right hand after right hand! Tommy then pulls Arthur up by the top of his head and yells obscenities in his face before nailing him with a headbutt! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake stomps on Tommy, breaking up the three count!

Tommy comes face-to-face with Snake, and they immediately break out into a fistfight, trading right hands! They continue punching each other until Snake knees Tommy in the midsection and throws him head-first into the barricade! Snake then lumbers over to Arthur and picks him up by the shirt, throwing him back into the ring from under the bottom rope. Snake slides into the ring and grabs a kendo stick. He taunts for Arthur to get up as he slowly stumbles to his feet. Arthur turns around and is immediately hit in the face with the kendo stick! Arthur falls right to the mat face-down, and Snake continues to nail Arthur over and over with the kendo stick while he’s down! Snake goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

Arthur SOMEHOW kicks out! Snake looks down at him angrily!

“What a near-fall!” Early exclaimed. “How did Arthur kick out?”

“He took that blow like a true Hardcore Champion!” Shake said.

Snake picks Arthur up to his feet and hits him with a European uppercut, knocking him back towards the ropes. Snake turns around, and is immediately met by a steel chair shot to the back by Tommy!

“My God! Where did Tommy come from?” asked Early.

Snake sells his back in pain and knees Tommy in the gut. They get into a tie-up, unaware that Arthur has picked up the dictionary! Tommy puts Snake into a front face lock. Tommy goes for a DDT but Snake fights out of it, running against the ropes and going for a spear only for Tommy to take Snake down with a drop toe hold, sending Snake to crash face first into a street sign! Arthur charges at Tommy with the dictionary pulled back and nails Tommy in the face with it!

“Arthur, proving that words CAN break bones along with sticks and stones!” Shake said.

Arthur goes for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Snake hits Arthur with a street sign across his back! Arthur gets onto his knees only for Snake to hit him right between the eyes with the street sign, busting him wide open! Snake then picks Arthur up to his knees only for Tommy to take Snake down with a chop block! Tommy then grabs Snake’s legs and slingshots him over the ropes, and into the back of the Securicar van! Tommy then picks up the kendo stick and brings Arthur up to his feet. He then knees Arthur in the gut and takes him down with a Russian Leg Sweep, pressing the kendo stick against his neck! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Snake breaks up the three count with a Diving Elbow!

Tommy and Snake come face-to-face, and Tommy swings the kendo stick at him. Snake dodges it, however, and puts Tommy in a sleeper hold, pressing his arm and the kendo stick against Tommy’s neck! Blood still oozing down his face, Tommy waves his arms above his head in fighting out of it but to no avail. Snake brings Tommy down to his knees as Arthur runs against the ropes behind them and hits Snake with a dropkick to his back! Arthur goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

SNAKE KICKS OUT!

Arthur picks Snake up to his feet and kicks him in the midsection. Arthur jumps over Tommy, runs against the ropes and goes to attempt a Scissors Kick onto Snake but Tommy gets up and hits Arthur in the head with a trash can lid! Tommy goes for the cover but Snake immediately pulls Tommy off Arthur and tries to lock him into the sleeper hold again, but Tommy drives Snake against the ropes and out of the ring! Tommy and Snake trade punches until Snake grabs Tommy’s head and slams it against the bed of the open Securicar van! Snake tries to slam his head against the bed again but Tommy comes back with a huge lariat to the head of Snake! Tommy picks Snake up and gets on the ring apron, taking Snake with him. Tommy and Snake trade blows to the face until Tommy picks him up and takes him down with a Standing Spinebuster in the back of the Securicar! Tommy then grabs a set of keys from his jeans pocket, closes the doors of the van and locks it! Tommy enters the ring above the middle rope as he puts on a set of brass knuckles and stares down Arthur, who looks up at him in fear! The crowd gets into a frenzy!

“Oh no! Arthur’s all alone with that maniac!” Shake said, concerned.

Tommy’s face stretched into a wide grin.

“Tommy’s been waiting for this all night!” said Early while Tommy stepped over to Arthur, who backed up against the ropes and waved his hands in front of him in protest. 

Tommy picks Arthur up by the shirt collar and throws him to the ringside area! Tommy exits the ring and yells something at Arthur, then nails him in the face with a fist full of brass knuckles! Tommy picks Arthur up by the shirt and throws him back first into the barricade! Tommy then lifts Arthur up to his feet, smiling sadistically as he presses Arthur’s face against the top of the barricade.

“You wanna be a role model?” Tommy asked. “Role models don’t screw with The Harwood Butcher!”

Tommy then slams Arthur’s face against the barricade and drags it along the entire length of the barricade! 

“Good Lord!” Early cried. “He’s hell bent on maiming Arthur at this point!”

“You’re absolutely, right, Early! I don’t know if I can watch anymore!” Shake said.

Tommy then Irish whips Arthur into the side of the Securicar! Arthur bounces off it in a daze, then Tommy takes him down with a Lou Thesz Press, and hammers away at his head with a right hand full of brass knuckles! Tommy gets off Arthur and looks up at the ceiling, letting out a scream of intensity as the crowd begins to cheer! Tommy turns around, only for Arthur to tackle him against the ring apron! Arthur then pushes Tommy under the bottom rope, and back into the ring, as thunderous punches can be heard from the inside of the Securicar!

Arthur slides back into the ring and runs against the ropes, going for another Scissors Kick, only for Tommy to pick him up and slam him down with a Standing Spinebuster onto a trash can! Tommy then puts his hands on his knees in anticipation as Arthur struggles to get up to his knees. When Arthur finally staggers upright, Tommy ties his arms up, picks him up and connects with the Vercetti Driver on a steel chair! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“Thank God it’s over!” Early said as the bell rang!

Tommy let out a scream in victory as the referee offered him the Hardcore title belt!

“Here is your winner. . .AND THE NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

Tommy takes the Hardcore title belt and raises it above his head in victory.

“This psychopath is our new Hardcore Champion???” Shake asked in disbelief.

“You bet he is, Shake!” Early answered. “I’ll give Arthur and Snake a lot of credit, but no one used his surroundings and weapons to perfection than the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti!”

Tommy then looks down at Arthur, who is motionless on the mat. Tommy picks Arthur up by the shirt and drags him to the back of his Securicar. Tommy unlocks and opens the doors, and immediately sees Snake charging at him! Tommy puts Arthur up as a human shield and Snake takes him out with a spear! Snake looks down, dumbfounded at Arthur until Tommy ties him up and lays him out with a Vercetti Driver! Tommy looks down at Snake and Arthur, both down and out, with a wide grin on his face as he raises the Hardcore title belt above his head.

“Shake, I fear for anyone who tries to take advantage of the 24/7 rule under Tommy’s reign as champion!” Early said. “He’ll take anyone to hell and back again!”

“So do I, Early! This guy’s psychotic! He’s homicidal!”

Backstage, Claude Speed stormed down a hallway with a pissed-off look on his face and his barbed-wire 2x4 in hand.

“DEADPOOL!!!” Claude yelled. “I’M HERE, DEADPOOL!! COME AFTER ME!!!”

Claude kicked over a full garbage can in anger. He locked around the area around him.

“DEADPOOL!! WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH???”

A small piece of paper suddenly fell from the ceiling behind Claude. Claude turned around and picked it up. The paper said ‘Behind You’ (like Rorschach’s note in Watchmen). Claude turned around to come face-to-face with Deadpool! They brawled all over the area, trading furious right hands until they came to a row of crates and palettes up against a wall. 

“Good grief! Deadpool and Claude going at it backstage!” Early said.

Claude and Deadpool continued punching each other until Wolverine ran into frame and ave Claude the X-Factor! Robin, Aqualad and Alucard soon followed and surrounded Claude as he struggled to push himself up to his knees.

“By God! The Immortals have invaded!” Early said.

All five of the Immortals began to stomp mudholes into Claude, who tried to yell for help but to no avail!

“It’s five on one! Somebody stop this!” screamed Early.

Deadpool pulled Claude up to his feet and pushed him towards Aqualad, who picked him up and landed the Tidal Wave, dropping Claude on the concrete! He and Deadpool then threw Claude towards Robin who picked him up and scoop slammed him onto a row of wooden palettes! Claude screamed in agonizing pain until Alucard grabbed him by the throat and chokeslams him through a crate! Claude lied motionless amongst the wood as Deadpool knelt down and came face-to-face with Claude.

“It sure was great to visit you, Claudester!” Deadpool said. “You know, for someone whose last name is Speed, you sure are slow to think. . .and to act. . .and to form the army that you spoke of! Standing right here above you now is mine. If I were you, I personally wouldn’t show my face on Animated unless you have one of your own, otherwise we’ll kick your ass again. But you probably will anyway, because you’re a glutton for embarrassment! So until you decide to follow up on your word and show up on Animated turf. . .do us all a favor, and whip yourself into shape, would ya?”

Claude finally pushed himself up to his knees only for Deadpool to pistol whip him in the back of the head, knocking him out cold!

“See ya, you soft little Italian noodle! IMMORTALS!”

Deadpool and the rest of the Immortals exit the backstage area, leaving Claude knocked out cold.

“My God, somebody get some help back there for Claude!” Early demanded.

Shake agreed. “That was heinous!”

“The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!!!”

Garfield and Jon Arbuckle walked down the ramp to boos from the crowd. Jon coached Garfield, whose focus remained only on the ring.

“Early, right now I have a feeling we’re about to have another mauling on our hands right now!” Shake said.

Garfield stepped over all three ropes and looked down the ramp, waiting for Tai.

“Well, I’m not sure about that Shake, but you’re right in implying that our next match is our version of David versus Goliath!” 

“More like Jack and the Beanstalk, if you ask me!” Shake said. “Since the birth of XCW, not one man has been able to take Garfield down without the aid of a weapon! And we don’t even know if Tai is 100% healthy following the beatdown he got two weeks ago!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage plays as Tai and Sora runs onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, focusing only on the ring as they stride down the ramp.

“And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Sora Takenouchi. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

“What is going through Tai’s mind right now, Early?” wondered Shake. “Not only is he walking right into a death trap, but he’s bringing his wife out to watch! I wouldn’t want my loved ones to see me get the hell beat out of him like Tai will right now!”

Tai slides into the ring and poses on two turnbuckles towards the fans.

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Shake! Tai sounded motivated and furious at Garfield for putting them both through hell the last couple weeks! I think we’ll see a highly competitive matchup between these two men tonight!”

“Show me a competitive matchup between David and Goliath, and I’ll show you a match where Bart Simpson wins fairly!” Shake remarked.

The bell rings and the match starts with Tai and Garfield locked in an intense staredown, each of them standing toe-to-toe and face-to-face with each other in the ring. After a minute of this, Tai suddenly shoves Garfield, taking him back but only a step. Garfield immediately shoves Tai back, sending him to land face down on the mat! Tai immediately shoots right back up to his feet with his fists up! Tai charges towards Garfield only to be immediately taken down with a giant right hand to the head! Jon cheers Garfield on as he grabs Tai by the hair and pulls him up to his feet. Garfield picks Tai up and slams him down to the mat with a massive scoop slam! Tai sells his lower back in pain as he slowly rises to his feet. Tai turns around to face Garfield again only to be taken down with a big boot! Garfield goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicks out!

Garfield lifts Tai up back to his feet by the hair and goes for another club to the head only for Tai to slap him in the chest with a furious chop! Tai continues to hit Garfield with chop after chop until he is backed into a corner. Tai continues to chop away at the chest of Garfield, who sells it in pain. Tai then climbs on the second turnbuckle and hammers away at Garfield’s head with ten right hands, the crowd counting along with each punch! After the ninth punch, Tai goes for a tenth, but Garfield grabs Tai’s fist and pushes him off, landing Tai face-up in the center of the ring! Tai gets up and charges back at Garfield, who rolls out of the way, sending Tai face-first into the corner! Garfield traps him in the corner and presses his hand against Tai’s neck, choking him as he puts his other hand up in Tai’s face.

“YOU SEE THIS???” Garfield yelled. “HUH??? YOU SEE THIS???”

Garfield spreads his paw out and slowly raises it above his head. The crowd goes quiet until Garfield’s paw furiously comes down with an audible slap against Tai’s bare chest! The crowd cringes as Tai crumbles to the mat in pain! Garfield goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Garfield picks Tai up by the hair off the mat!

“Garfield doesn’t want to win this match! He wants to beat the living daylights out of Tai!” Early said.

Garfield then Irish whips Tai over the ropes, but Tai hangs onto the top one and lands on the ring apron. Tai jumps onto the top rope for a springboard move only for Garfield to nail him with a European uppercut, sending him crashing onto the ringside floor! Tai covers his face, writhing in pain as Garfield steps over all three ropes, looming over Tai on the ring apron. Garfield sizes Tai up and jumps off the ring apron for a Big Splash but Tai rolls out of the way, sending Garfield to land chest and face first onto the ringside floor! Both men lay on the floor in pain as the referee begins the ten-count! 

Tai and Garfield struggle to rise up to their feet as the referee’s count reaches two. Tai charges towards Garfield and dropkicks him in the lower legs, bringing him down to both knees. Tai grabs Garfield by the head and slams it down on the announce table repeatedly until Garfield grabs Tai by the sides, picks him up and takes him down with an Atomic Drop! The referee’s count is up to five at this point. Garfield rises to his feet and Irish whips Tai into the steel steps, with Tai hitting them with a sickening crash! Tai sells his lower back in pain as Garfield lumbers over to him. He grabs Tai by the hair and shoulders and slides him back in the ring. Garfield slides in after him only to roll back out of the ring, and pulling Tai out of it by the hair, causing the referee to restart the ten count!

“The last thing Garfield wants is this match to end via countout!” Early said.

Garfield then grabs Tai by the arm and Irish whips him hard towards the barricade. Tai then crashes against the barricade so hard, he breaks right through it, and lands at the feet of multiple fans, as they chant “Holy shit! Holy shit!”

“Good God! He may have finished him off then and there!” said Shake, as Garfield stomped over to Tai and picked him up by the leg, then slammed it down knee-first against the concrete! 

Garfield then puts Tai in a headlock and throws him back-first into the ring post! Jon stands at ringside, cheering Garfield on, screaming “KILL HIM!!! BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY!!” while Sora stands on the opposite side, her hands cupped over her mouth in horror.

“Sora, if you were smart, you wouldn’t be out here right now!” Shake said.

Garfield pushes Tai under the bottom rope, back into the ring, before nailing Tai in the face with an Elbow on the ring apron. Garfield then climbed over all three ropes and yelled “GET UP!” at Tai, who met eyes with Sora as he struggles to get up to his knees. Tai stands upright and turns to face Garfield who picks him up and takes him down with a belly-to-belly side slam! 

“Can you just imagine all that weight pressing down on someone with Tai’s size?” Early said.

“I don’t think I want to, Early!” Shake said. “It’s gotta be over.” Garfield went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 Tai kicks out!

Garfield shot up to his knees in shock!

“How the hell did he kick out after all that?” wondered Early.

Garfield goes for the cover again! 1. . .

2\. . .

Tai kicks out! Garfield gets up and snarls at Tai in disgust!

“He’s resilient, I’ll give him that! Tai will not quit!” Early remarked.

Garfield pulls Tai up by the hair but Tai lands another chop to Garfield’s midsection! The crowd begins to cheer louder and louder as Tai rises to his feet and hits Garfield with chop after chop! 

“TAI IS FIGHTING BACK! SOMEHOW, IN SOME WAY, TAI IS FIGHTING BACK!” Early cried.

Tai lands another thunderous chop, with the crowd chanting “WOOO!” in unison with each hit. Tai backs Garfield up against the ropes and lands another chop, bringing Garfield down to one knee! Tai puts Garfield in a headlock and goes for a DDT only for Garfield to come to and shove him forward. Tai goes for the headlock again but Garfield takes him down with a big boot! Garfield goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

TAI KICKS OUT! 

Garfield rolls off Tai, staring at him in disbelief! Garfield taunts for Tai to get up, extending his arms out to his sides as Tai rises to his knees. He limps up to a standing position and turns around to be locked into the Cathug!

“That’s it! He’s got him!” Shake said.

“Many have been locked in this grueling submission maneuver, few have fought out of it!” said Early.

Garfield squeezes tightly on Tai’s back and chest, raising him above the mat! Tai gasps for air as he tries to elbow and claw out of the hold but to no avail. The referee faces Tai and asks him if he wants to quit. Tai shakes his head no, continuing to try to worm his way out of the hold. Tai’s body begins to go limp, and Garfield brings himself down to one knee, continuing to squeeze Tai! Tai’s eyes roll back into his head as he appears to be down and out. The referee raises his arm up and drops it, letting it fall limply to his side. After the referee counts one, he picks up Tai’s arm again, and it falls back down. The referee counts two, and picks up Tai’s arm one last time. He drops it. . .

“That’s all she wrote---“ Early said. . .

. . .until Tai’s arm immediately shot back up above his head! 

“OR MAYBE NOT!“

Tai waves his arm around a bit before hitting Garfield with a punch! Tai continues to hit Garfield with right hand after right hand until Tai headbutts Garfield in the face, breaking the hold, and sending Tai to land on his feet! Tai then darts toward Garfield and takes him down with a chop block! Garfield sits back up only for Tai to judo kick him in the lower back! Tai runs against the ropes and takes Garfield down with a dropkick to the back! Tai then runs against the ropes next to Garfield and nails him in the face with a springboard kick! 

“Tai’s got him down! Going for the cover!” Early called, as the referee made the count! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.9 GARFIELD BARELY POWERS OUT!!! Tai kneels on the mat, staring down at the mat.

“HOW CLOSE WAS THAT???” Early screamed.

“What has to be going through Tai’s mind right now?” Shake asked. “WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO TO DEFEAT GARFIELD????”

Tai rises to his feet and puts Garfield in a headlock, bringing him up to his feet. Garfield pushes Tai off him, sending him against the ropes, but on the bounceback, Tai lands a kick to the midsection and takes Garfield down with a DDT! Both men lay down on the mat until Tai crawls over to the ropes and pulls himself up, selling his midsection in pain. Tai turns around and stretches his arms away from his sides, stalking Garfield, who slowly rises to his feet. Garfield finally stands upright and staggers around to face Tai. Tai grabs onto Garfield and screams in exertion as he, with all his might, picks Garfield up and slams him down with a Scoop Slam! The crowd gasps and screams in amazement as Tai collapses to the mat immediately in exhaustion! 

Shake looked at the action in the ring in disbelief! “WHAT THE---“

Early interrupted. “WHAT DID WE JUST SEE????”

Both men lay motionless on the mat as Jon and Sora look up at Tai and Garfield in shock!

“WHAT DID WE JUST SEE????”

“NOBODY CAN BELIEVE IT!!!” cried Shake!

The crowd cheers ‘Holy shit! Holy shit!’ as Tai crawls over to the corner, with Sora slamming her hand over and over on the ring apron in support for Tai!

“I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! TAI TOOK DOWN THE BIG MAN!!! NOW TAI IS LOOKING TO MAKE THE FINAL BLOW!” Early screamed, as Tai pulled himself up with the ropes. 

He climbs up the turnbuckle. . .to the first rope. . .then the middle rope. . .then to the top! Tai turns around and looks down at Garfield, prone in the center of the ring! Tai looks ahead and extends his arms out from his sides and lets out a scream. He jumps off the top rope and lands the Tai Dive!

“THE TAI DIVE CONNECTS!!!” Early cried.

Tai writhes in pain, selling his head from the impact! Tai crawls over Garfield for the cover, hooking the leg, unaware that Jon Arbuckle has strided over to the ropes closest to both of them, and grabbed Garfield’s foot!

The referee makes the count! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

The referee sees Garfield’s foot on the bottom rope, stopping the count!

“TAI WOULD HAVE THIS MATCH WON IF IT WEREN’T FOR DAMN ARBUCKLE!” Early yelled.  
Tai looked through the ropes at ringside to see Jon, who shrugged his shoulders and said “What can you do?” Tai got off Garfield and started to argue with the referee as Jon climbed onto the ring apron, taunting Tai! The referee turned to Jon and orders him off the apron. 

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Shake observed. “LOOK AT SORA!”

Sora strides angrily to the north side of the ring as Jon steps off the apron. Jon turns to a side only for Sora to take him out with a spear! Jon rolls on the floor in pain as Sora stands up, scowling at him.

“PAYBACK’S A BITCH, ARBUCKLE!” Early cried, as Tai turned back to face Garfield, who was up to his knees. 

Tai picks him up by the head and tries to pick him up again, only for Garfield to grab him by the throat! 

“. . .aaaand reality sets in.” Shake said, as Garfield raised Tai high above his head and slammed him down with a thunderous Chokeslam! Garfield went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!!!

“Garfield gets the victory!” Early said after the bell rang.

Garfield stood over Tai and raised his fists above his head in celebration.

“Here is your winner. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“What a valiant effort by Tai. . .but it wasn’t enough!” Early said. “Garfield won this match, thanks to his sneaky manager, Jon Arbuckle!”

Garfield steps over all three ropes and meets Jon Arbuckle, who stumbles to meet him at the foot of the ramp. Sora slides into the ring and helps Tai to sit up. 

“He’s paying for getting involved, Early!” Shake said. “That spear may have broken his back!”

“He’s running like a scalded dog to the back!” Early observed.

Jon raised Garfield’s arm in victory and taunted Tai and Sora, wincing in pain as he sold his back. Tai and Sora glared at him and Garfield, seething with anger.

“Tonight, Tai proved to all of us, and the entire world that Garfield can be beaten!” Early said, as the show went to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood with a microphone in hand next to Ed and Edd, who held their Tag title belts.

“Team Ed. . .” Carl said, “. . .congratulations on becoming the new XCW Tag Team Champions! Now the question on everybody’s mind is, what’s next for you two as what you call, ‘The Age of Ed’ becomes underway?”

“Well first let me say that this has been a long time coming but it’s great to finally see from the top of the tag team mountain again!” Edd said. “As far as what’s next? Tune into Massacre tomorrow night. You’ll know all about our plans for the Age of Ed!”

Ed shoved his tag title belt into the camera.

“WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!”

Back in the steel cage slowly lowered down to encompass the ring.

“The following contest. . .IS. . .your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event for the evening. . .and it is. . .the STEEL CAGE MATCH. . .FOR THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! This match can only be won via pinfall, submission, or by escaping the cage through the door or by climbing the wall, and with both feet touching the floor!”

"What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny plays as Bugs Bunny poses on the stage then walks down the ramp.

“Introducing first. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!”

“Tonight, Bugs Bunny finally gets his hands on Mario, and his rematch for the World Heavyweight Championship inside a Steel Cage, where anything goes!” Early said.

Bugs enters the ring and poses on the turnbuckle.

“Just like you said, Early! Anything goes!” emphasized Shake. “As we’ve seen in recent weeks, and in their no-disqualification match at Whiplash, both Bugs and Mario hate each other so deeply, they will do whatever it takes to defeat the other! Who knows what they’ll do to each other in this steel structure?”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario runs onto the stage raising the World title belt above his head, towards the ring.

“And his opponent . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. . .MARIO!”

“This war between two icons comes to a head in just a matter of moments!” Shake said in anticipation!

By now Mario is in the ring and climbing on top of each turnbuckle, raising the title belt above his head.

“And so does Bugs’s quest to win a World title!” Early said. “With no one around to interfere, it’s just him and Mario! With them both in a steel cage, we’ll get more than a fair fight, we’ll get a bonafide slobberknocker!”

Mario steps off the turnbuckle and turns around to be tackled immediately by Bugs, who follows up with a multitude of right hands! The bell rings as the match begins, and a referee outside shuts the cage door. Bugs hammers away at Mario until Mario rolls Bugs onto his back and nails him in the face with furious right and left hands! Mario then puts Bugs into a headlock, lifts him up to his feet and takes him down with a side headlock takedown! Mario wrenches on Bugs’ neck until Bugs successfully lands a kick to Mario’s face. Bugs gets back up to his feet and pushes Mario against the ropes. Bugs Irish whips Mario to the other side of the ring and connects with a neckbreaker! Bugs then picks Mario up and rams him face-first into a wall of the steel cage!

“The first time tonight the cage gets used as a weapon! Mario’s flesh being slammed against steel!” Early said.

Bugs grabs Mario by the overalls and rams him shoulder-first into the corner, but his head hits the corner of the steel cage! Bugs then steps toward the cage door and starts to exit the ring! Mario pulls himself out of the corner, though, and quickly dives towards Bugs, successfully putting him in a waist lock and taking him down with a German suplex! With the waist-lock still in, Mario goes to lift Bugs up for another German suplex but Bugs elbows Mario in the face, turns around and takes Mario down with a DDT! Bugs goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicks out!

Bugs runs against the ropes and nails Mario in the face with a falling elbow! Bugs runs against the ropes for another falling elbow but Mario rolls out of the way, sending Bugs to land on the mat! As he sells his elbow, Mario runs against the ropes and hits Bugs with a dropkick to the head! Mario then picks Bugs up to his feet and rams his face into the wall of the steel cage, rubbing his face into the steel! Bugs screams in pain as Mario pushes harder onto Bugs’ head.

“And Bugs tasting steel now!” Early called.

Mario grinds Bugs’ face against the cage for a minute then locks him in the Boston Crab! Bugs writhes in pain as he inches towards the ropes! The referee kneels to face Bugs and asks him if he wants to quit but Bugs ignores him, clawing his way to the ropes. . .only for Mario to pull Bugs back to the center of the ring! Bugs slams his arms down on the mat once in relief, but to no avail. Bugs suddenly musters all the strength he has. . .kicks Mario in the face, turns around and goes for a roll-up pin! 1. . .2. . .Mario kicks out! 

Mario and Bugs meet in the center of the ring and trade right hands, with the crowd chanting “Boo!” when Mario hits Bugs, and “Yay!” when Bugs hits Mario! They exchange right hands until Bugs lands three consecutive punches onto Mario’s face, and clotheslines Mario in the back of the head, sending him face-first into the steel cage wall! Bugs then steps to the door of the cage again only for Mario to sweep his legs out from under him! Bugs inches closer to the cage door. . .only for Mario to pull him back towards him and stomp on his face. Mario then jumps onto the ropes and starts to climb up the cage wall! Bugs gets up and climbs up after him, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him off, sending both of them to crash onto the mat below!

“BY GOD! BUGS IS DOWN! THE CHAMPION IS DOWN! WHO’S GONNA WIN THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP???” Early asked hysterically.

Mario crawls over to Bugs for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

BUGS KICKS OUT!!!

Mario slams his hand onto the mat in frustration! Mario then steps to a corner and climbs up to the top rope! Mario taunts like he would for the Super Mario Splash. . .but then slaps his hand on his elbow three times!

“Are you kidding me???” Shake asked in disbelief!

“COME ON! HE’S GOING FOR THE ACME ELBOW!” Early screamed, as Mario then jumped off the top turnbuckle and connected with the Acme Elbow Drop onto Bugs! Mario then crawled in for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

“It’s over---“

BUGS KICKED OUT!!!

“NOOO!!!!”

Mario punches the mat repeatedly in frustration! Mario then picks Bugs up to his feet and grinds his face along all four sides of the steel cage! 

“MY GOD!” Early screamed. “BUGS’ FACE ALONG ALL THAT FORGIVING STEEL!”

Mario then knees Bugs in the gut and takes him down with a suplex! Not letting go of the headlock, Mario lifts Bugs up and takes him down for another suplex! Mario picks Bugs up and goes for one more suplex but Bugs falls out of it and locks Mario in the ankle lock! Mario screams loudly in pain as he reaches for a rope!

“BUGS HAS THE ANKLE LOCK LOCKED IN! THE ROPES ARE SO CLOSE FOR MARIO. . .BUT THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE IS EVEN CLOSER TO BUGS!” Early yelled.

“Will Mario tap????” asked Shake, as Mario stretched his arm out towards the middle rope. . .

. . .and he successfully grabbed onto it, forcing Bugs to break the hold! Bugs let go of Mario’s leg, only to immediately grab Mario by the shoulders and take him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Bugs looks up and around at all the fans around him cheering “BUGS! BUGS! BUGS!” Bugs stares Mario down as he struggles to get up to his feet! Bugs puts Mario’s head between his legs. . .lifts Mario up for the Bunny Bomb but Mario jumps out of it, onto the cage wall behind Bugs! Mario struggles to climb but Bugs climbs up the cage wall next to Mario, right above the corner turnbuckle facing the ramp! 

“It’s a short climb up. . .but it’s also a long fall!!!” Shake said to Early.

“You’re not kidding, Shake! Who’s gonna escape first???”

Mario and Bugs slowly climb step after step. . .until after a minute they finally reach the top of the cage! They manage to keep their balance as they step towards each other. Mario and Bugs come face-to-face and exchange right hands until Bugs has Mario reeling along the corner of the cage’s edge! 

“OH MY GOD!” Early cried. “Both of these men are fifteen feet above the ring, but twenty feet above the concrete floors!”

“Wait a minute. . .if Mario falls and lands on the outside, Bugs is out of luck!” Shake said.

Bugs kicks Mario in the midsection and pulls his head between his legs!

“BUGS ISN’T GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN!” Early said, as Bugs lifted Mario up for the Bunny Bomb, pointing Mario towards the ring!

“BUNNY BOMB OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE---WAIT A MINUTE!!!”

Mario counters it into a Tornado DDT to the outside of the cage! Both Bugs and Mario fall off the cage and land on the ringside floor at the same time!

“OH MY GOD!!!! BOTH MEN JUST LANDED AT THE SAME TIME TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING!!!” Early screamed as a crowd of referees gathered around Mario and Bugs, conversing about the match’s finish.

“WHOSE FEET TOUCHED THE FLOOR FIRST???” Shake wondered frantically.

“WHO’S WALKING OUT OF HERE THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION???” Early screamed.

“INSTANT REPLAY!” the crowd chanted, as the referees continued to argue.

“Do we have instant replay?” asked one referee.

The head referee runs up the ramp and goes to the backstage area as the rest of the crowd of referees ask each other whose feet they saw touch first, while Bugs struggles to get up to his knees. Various replays appear on the titantron and on-screen that show both Mario and Bugs hit the floor literally at the same time!

Bugs pleads his case with the team of referees as the main referee runs back down the ramp to the timekeeper’s booth, and the bell suddenly rings.

Bugs looks around at the referees, bewildered as Plankton stands up over by the timekeeper’s booth.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .the winner of this match. . .

. . .AND. . .

 

. . .STILL. . .”

The crowd eruped into boos, which drowned out Plankton’s announcement!

“. . .THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. . .MARIO!!!”

The crowd continues to boo as Bugs stood up and yelled “NO!” repeatedly and stomped his foot on the ringside floor. 

“WHAT!” Shake yelled.

“HOW CAN YOU EVEN CALL THAT???” Early screamed in anger.

The referee rests the XCW World title belt on Mario’s chest and raises his arm up in victory. Mario raises his head up and looks at Bugs with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“WHAT DOES BUGS HAVE TO DO???”

“I wish I could tell you, Early!” Shake said. “It looks like there wasn’t enough evidence to prove neither Mario nor Bugs hit the floor first!”

“BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!” chanted the crowd as referees loaded Mario on a stretcher and wheeled him to the back. Mario raised the title above his body, with Bugs looking on angrily as Doomsday went off the air!

“BUGS BUNNY HAS BEEN SCREWED OUT OF THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE AGAIN!”

All will be made right on the next edition of Monday Night Massacre, because Mario and Bugs will square off in a rematch with the World title on the line! Also, Team Ed kept true to their promise by winning the Tag titles and ushering in The Age of Ed. What does the Team Formerly Known As The Erupting Eds have in store? And what is the anonymous chairman’s announcement? All this and more on the next edition of XCW Monday Night Massacre! Until then, I hope you all enjoy Wrestlemania 28 as I hope to, and RATE/GRADE/REVIEW!!!

Results:

Peach defeated Yuna (Retains XCW Women’s Championship)  
Spike Spiegel defeated Vash The Stampede (Enters March Majesty Tournament)  
Luigi defeated Claude Speed (Retains XCW Television Championship)  
Team Ed (Ed & Edd) defeated Ren & Stimpy (Win XCW Tag Team Championship)  
Tommy Vercetti defeated Arthur & Solid Snake (Wins XCW Hardcore Championship)  
Garfield defeated Tai  
Mario defeated Bugs Bunny (Retains XCW World Heavyweight Championship)


	10. XCW Massacre: March Week 1

Okay guys, here’s a new chapter of XCW! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme plays and pyro explodes on the titantron, after which millions of fans stand in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“We are twenty-four hours removed from Doomsday, a successful event marred by a controversial finish to the World Heavyweight Championship match! All will be righted here tonight, in the city of Peach Creek, the birthplace of our rival promotion PCUW! Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight, Shake, I have a feeling that the shit is gonna hit the fan here tonight!”

“So do I, Early! Not only will there be a message from headquarters that will impact the entire XCW roster, following the controversial finish to the XCW World Heavyweight Championship match last night, there will be a rematch here tonight, where Mario will put the XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line against Bugs Bunny! I can’t wait!”

“And on top of that, the new XCW Tag Team Champions, Team Ed, will unleash the ‘Age of Ed’. We finally find out what that means here tonight, live on Monday Night Massacre!” Early announced.

“But we start off the night with a qualifying match for the March Majesty tournament!” Shake said, as Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest. . .is a March Majesty Tournament Qualifying Match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

“Wayfarer” by Kavinsky plays as a Banshee sports car makes its way down the ramp, stopping at the foot of the ramp. Tommy Vercetti gets out of the car, raising the Hardcore title belt above his head to cheers from the crowd.

“Last night, Tommy Vercetti became a 4-time Hardcore champion by defeating Arthur and his opponent tonight, Solid Snake in a Triple Threat match!” Early said.

“Tommy pulled out all the stops by driving Arthur’s head onto a steel chair, and even locking Snake inside the back of his van! It’s safe to assume that Snake can’t wait to get his hands on Tommy here tonight!” Shake recapped.

“Amerika” by Rammstein plays as Solid Snake walks down the ramp to a mixed reaction.

“And his opponent. . .from The United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

“Even before Doomsday, these two men have exacted excruciating punishment against each other while vying for the Hardcore title!” Early said.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “We know exactly what these two men are capable of inside and outside the ring. Who knows what they’ll do to each other with a spot in the March Majesty tournament on the line!”

The bell rings, signaling the start of the match. Tommy and Snake charge at each other and begin to brawl in the center of the ring, trading right hands. They continue to punch each other until Snake lands a European uppercut, taking Tommy back a bit. Snake then Irish whips Tommy towards the ropes and lands a big boot on the bounceback! Snake goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicks out! Snake picks Tommy up and lands a thunderous chop! Snake continues to chop Tommy in the chest until he is backed up into a corner. Snake climbs onto the second turnbuckle and goes for a right hand to Tommy’s face, only for Tommy to grab onto Snake by his sides and take him down with a Standing Spinebuster! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicks out!

Tommy gets up and runs against the ropes and nails Snake in the body with an angry stomp. Tommy runs against the ropes and hits Snake in the head with a falling elbow, then a falling fist to the face. Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicks out! Tommy picks Snake up to his feet and knees him in the midsection. Tommy then takes Snake down with a neckbreaker! Tommy then runs against the ropes and takes out Snake with a leg drop! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .

2 . . .

Snake kicks out! 

“Tommy with the early advantage!” observed Early.

Tommy picks Snake up only for Snake to shove him toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Snake lands a thunderous right hand to the face of Tommy, knocking him down! Tommy shoots back up to his feet only for Snake to pick him up and take him down with a scoop slam! Snake runs against the ropes and dropkicks Tommy in the back! Snake goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicks out! Snake picks Tommy up to his feet and lands another European uppercut. Snake then lifts Tommy up and takes him down with a crushing Piledriver! Snake goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

Tommy somehow kicks out!

“How the hell did Tommy kick out of that one?” Shake wondered.

Snake snarls at Tommy as he taunts for him to stand up. Tommy staggers up to his feet, selling his head until Snake takes him down with a DDT! Now laying on the mat, Snake locks in the Sleeper Hold onto Tommy! 

“Tommy’s done for!” Shake said.

“He’s felt that sleeper hold time and time again. . .can he fight out of it??” asked Early.

Tommy waves his arms around, fighting and gasping for breath but manages to repeatedly elbow Snake off him, letting go of the hold! Tommy gets up to his feet as Snake charges at him. However, Snake is immediately met with a Lou Thesz Press from Tommy, and he hammers away at Snake with thunderous right hands! Tommy gets off Snake and yells in intensity! 

“Tommy bringing the adrenaline up to eleven now!” Early said, as Snake struggled to get up to his feet.

Tommy ties up his arms, lifts him up and takes him down with the Vercetti Driver! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

“And Tommy Vercetti is going to March Majesty!” Early said after the bell rang.

Tommy gets off Snake and the referee raises his arm up in victory.

“Here is your winner. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

“A valiant, and surprisingly tame display of valor from the Hardcore Champion!” Early said as Snake rolled out of the ring while the referee handed Tommy the Hardcore title belt and a microphone.

“You got that right!” Shake said. “What’s he got to say?”

“It feels pretty damn good to be The Harwood Butcher right now! But rest assured, what you saw just now is only a fraction of what I’ll do to my opponents in the March Majesty Tournament! They’re gonna get a fistful of what Arthur and Snake received from me last night at Doomsday!”

Tommy stopped talking as the crowd cheered.

“Which brings me to something that stemmed from Doomsday. As you all probably know, after the Royal Rumble. . .my buddy Claude Speed will go one-on-one against Deadpool in a Falls Count Anywhere match on WWE turf.”

The crowd booed upon Deadpool’s mention.

“But after his tune-up match tonight, Claude’s going off to train for that match like nobody’s business in Liberty City! So right now, allow me to take this opportunity to wish Claude good luck in this interpromotional matchup! And I’d even like to wish Deadpool good luck too. . .because he’s going to need it.”

Tommy dropped the microphone and walked up the ramp.

“Tommy throwing in his two cents regarding his friend Claude’s feud with Deadpool!” Early said.

Shake guaranteed, “Business will pick up when those two finally collide!”

Meanwhile, in their locker room, Scorpion and Sub-Zero sat in a locker room playing a video game until Carl Brutanandilewski came into the room with a microphone in hand.

“Scorpion. . .Sub-Zero,” Carl asked, “. . .up next, you two face each other with a spot in the March Majesty Tournament on the line. Considering you two are a team here in XCW, will there be any animosity brewing depending on who wins?”

Sub-Zero paused the game and stood up, coming face-to-face with Carl.

“Look man, Scorpion and I have been everywhere together; DCA, VGWA, GWA, you name it, we’ve been partners, rivals and champions together. And as much crap as we plan to beat out of each other tonight in giving the fans out there a good show, one of us having a spot in the March Majesty tournament won’t affect us in a negative way.”

Carl and Sub-Zero looked at each other in an uncomfortable silence.

“What?” Sub-Zero asked threateningly. “You’ve got your answer! Get out of here! And knock next time. . .”

Carl left in a hurry as Sub-Zero, letting out an exasperated sigh, continued playing Mortal Kombat against Scorpion, who played it as himself, while Sub-Zero played it as himself.

“Hey Scorpion. . .do you think this is too meta for its own good?”

Scorpion shook his head. “Nope.”

They continued playing as the show went to a commercial break.

“The following contest is a March Majesty Tournament qualifying match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from the Earthrealm. . .SCORPION!!!”

“Unstable” by Adema plays as Scorpion strides down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, ready for another qualifying match for the March Majesty tournament!” Early said.

“And this one pits two tag team partners against each other!” added Shake.

“Wait” by Earshot plays as Sub-Zero strides down the ramp to an equally mixed reaction.

“And his opponent. . .from the Earthrealm. . .SUB-ZERO!!!”

“Scorpion and Sub-Zero were former Tag Team Champions in the GWA before making their way into XCW!” informed Early.

“However, Scorpion has come to have more luck in singles competition, winning the DCA Intermediate title, as well as the XCW Hardcore Championship! We’ll see if Scorpion’s singles success will continue here in this match!” said Shake, as the bell rang.

The match began with Scorpion and Sub-Zero shaking hands in the middle of the ring before getting into a tie-up. Scorpion puts Sub-Zero into a waist-lock and lifts him up for a German suplex but Sub-Zero fights out of it and falls on his feet right behind Scorpion. Sub-Zero then puts Scorpion into a Full Nelson Stretch only for Scorpion to counter it into a Russian Leg Sweep! Scorpion puts Sub-Zero into a headlock but he stands back up, with the headlock still locked in on him. Sub-Zero elbows Scorpion in the midsection, breaking the headlock. Sub-Zero lands a high knee on Scorpion, sending him into the corner. Sub-Zero lands two consecutive judo kicks to Scorpion’s sternum before connecting with one to his head, sending him to fall face down on the mat! Sub-Zero goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Scorpion kicks out!

Sub-Zero pulls Scorpion up to his feet only for Scorpion to tackle him back into the corner, and nail him with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Sub-Zero falls into a seated position. Scorpion then steps to the opposite corner and charges at Sub-Zero, hitting him in the face with a running knee! Scorpion goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sub-Zero kicks out!

“A competitive match so far between these two tag team partners!” Early said.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “These two are very evenly matched!”

Scorpion brings Sub-Zero to his knees and runs against the ropes, going for an Inside Cradle pin on the bounceback! 1. . .2. . .Sub-Zero kicks out! Sub-Zero and Scorpion charge towards each other, getting into another tie-up. Scorpion puts Sub-Zero into a front face lock and lifts Sub-Zero up for a piledriver only for Sub-Zero to push Scorpion against the ropes, then Irish whip him towards the ropes on the other side. On the bounceback, Sub-Zero lands Flying Headscissors onto Scorpion! Sub-Zero runs to a corner and leaps onto the top rope. Sub-Zero connects with the Blizzard Bomb (Swanton Bomb) onto Scorpion! Sub-Zero goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

SCORPION KICKS OUT!!! Sub-Zero looks down at him in shock!

“I was for sure Sub-Zero had the match won!” Early said in surprise.

“He may have to do his friend in to win this thing!” said Shake.

Sub-Zero puts his hands on his knees in anticipation for Scorpion to get up to his feet. Scorpion rises back in a standing position and Sub-Zero lifts him up for a Death Valley Driver only for Scorpion to counter it into the Camel Clutch! Sub-Zero tries to worm his way out of the hold but to no avail. The referee asks Sub-Zero if he wants to quit but he says no. Scorpion keeps the hold locked into Sub-Zero in the center of the ring! After a minute, Sub-Zero rolls Scorpion onto his back, breaking the hold! 

“Sub-Zero got out of the hold, but has the damage been done?” wondered Early.

Scorpion pulls himself up to his feet by using the ropes while Sub-Zero staggers up to his knees. Scorpion stares Sub-Zero down and screams “GET OVER HERE!!!”, with the crowd screaming along with him. Still groggy, Sub-Zero reaches a standing position. . .until Scorpion runs towards him and takes him down with The Fatality (Paydirt)! Scorpion goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And Scorpion is going to the March Majesty Tournament!” Early said after the bell rang.

Scorpion got up and raised his arms above his head in victory.

“Here is your winner. . .SCORPION!!!”

The referee raises Scorpion’s hand in victory while Sub-Zero rolls out of the ring, giving Scorpion a thumbs-up as he limps up the ramp.

“A solid matchup between two ninjas from The Earthrealm!” Early said.

“And Scorpion emerges as the Earthrealm’s representative in the March Majesty tournament!” said Shake.

Scorpion climbs to a top turnbuckle and raises his fists above his head toward the fans in celebration.

So now we have Scorpion, Luigi, Tommy Vercetti, and Spike Spiegel taking part in the March Majesty Tournament! Only four highly coveted spots remain!” Early said, as the show moved back to the backstage area, where Bugs Bunny stood next to Carl Brutanandilewski, who had a microphone in hand.

“Bugs,” Carl asked, “. . .last night you were inches away from winning the XCW World Heavyweight Championship last night, but once again came up short. However, tonight, you get a rematch for the title in a one-on-one match. Will there be a difference in your gameplan this time around?”

“First off, Doc. . . just because there’s no cage tonight doesn’t mean that Mario’s goons can interfere with it; XCW officials assured me that the Super Mario Syndicate has been banned from ringside for the match tonight! And there will not be many changes to my gameplan last night, considering I had Mario beaten until the wrong call was made last night. And rest assured, coming that close last night only to lose on a mistake just adds more fuel to the fire. I have more motivation than ever now to continue my quest for the title, and tonight is the night the quest ENDS.”

After the show came back from break, all the lights were turned off in the arena. Suddenly. . .the following words came from the titantron.

“ARE YOU READY???”

“Stoopid Ass” by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers. 

“You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you’re better?”

The drums kicked in on the song. 

“Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . .”

Records scratched on the song - “BREAK IT DOWN!”

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro explodes on the stage and Ed, Edd, and Nazz jump onto the stage from below it, their tag title belts in hand. Ed and Edd are clad in shirts and hats (Edd in his traditional sock hat) with the word “ED” on it.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome the NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. . .TEAM ED!!!”

Raising the title belts above their heads toward the fans, Ed and Edd strode down the ramp with Nazz right behind them.

“A thunderous ovation for the hometown heroes, Team Ed!” Early said.

“I’ll say! They wouldn’t have won if Nazz got involved!” added Shake.

“Regardless, Ed and Edd return to their hometown as the new XCW Tag Team Champions, ushering in the “Age of Ed”, and just from looking at them, Shake, there’s a different feeling in the air with these two and Nazz in the ring right now!” Early observed.

Ed and Edd slid into the ring and climb on each turnbuckle, raising their title belts above their heads. They meet in the center of the ring, with Nazz right in front of them, and do the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

Edd asks for microphones from the timekeeper as the lights go up, revealing the ring to be decorated with a red carpet, two long barstools and a plasma screen TV hanging from a fixture.

“WHAT’S UP, PEACH CREEK???” Edd yelled into the microphone.

The crowd roared into cheers.

“It is so good to not only come home. . .but to come home to everyone off the heels of Doomsday with the ability to call ourselves the NEW XCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. . .”

The crowd roared again.

“And the ability to come home to where it all began for us. . .and usher into XCW. . .the AGE. . .OF. . .ED!!!”

The crowd erupted into an ovation.

“Now, for the past month, everyone I ran into on the streets. . .in the supermarket. . .the candy store. . .everyone’s been asking me ‘Double D! What’s the Age of Ed?’ ‘What is the Age of Ed going to bring?’ ‘Is the Age of Ed going to change XCW for the better?’ We’re here now to reveal all that and more!”

Edd paced around the ring and continued to speak.

“You see, we got to this company after a certain someone beat us in a tag match, where the loser had to leave the Cartoon Wrestling Federation. Obviously. . .we lost. And so Ed and I signed a contract with Space Ghost and XCW, ready for this new start, only after the first ever edition of Monday Night Massacre, you didn’t get a sight of me or Ed for a whole month.”

“We were sent to sit in the back, twiddling our thumbs while Ren and Stimpy defended their belts against the multi-membered, all-powerful Super Mario Syndicate. Let’s just say that Ed and I weren’t going to take the fact that we were getting buried sitting down! And so Ed and I set out to usher in a new age. An age of dominance. . .an age of rebellion. AN AGE. . .OF. . .ED!!!”

Edd stopped talking as the crowd’s cheers reached deafening levels.

“As of right now, you will never go to an XCW show and be disappointed you didn’t see us! You will never turn on Monday Night Massacre, and miss us because we were in the dark match! You will never miss us again because WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, WE ARE THE BEST TAG TEAM IN FICTION WRESTLING, AND WE ARE HERE TO STAY!!!”

The crowd erupted into more thunderous cheers.

“And in ushering in the Age of Ed. . .you will not see us as Team Ed. . .or the Erupting Eds. . .or the EPA. . .in the XCW locker room, you will know us as simply---“

Ed grabbed the microphone from Edd.

“D-GENERATION-ED!!!”

As the crowd cheered again, Edd took back the microphone.

“So now that the Age of Ed is officially underway, our mutual friend and new valet, Nazz, would like to say something.”

“Yes I would!” Nazz said after Edd handed her the microphone. “The tag team titles aren’t the only thing that belongs to D-Generation-Ed. Princess Peach. . .you’re a part of the Syndicate that held us back in the locker room. You’ve gone around and put girls through more pain than they can endure, even after you’ve beaten them. Well I’m here now to do what no one else has done here: challenge you. You and me for the Women’s Championship at March Majesty! And I will show all the girls in the back that if you put me through all the pain you put Yuna through. . .if you disrespect me as much as you did to Sora. . .I can take it all, and more.”

The crowd cheered again as Nazz handed the microphone back to Edd. 

“Now, for the last order of The Age of Ed out here tonight. . .you’re probably wondering why we’ve got a nice TV and chairs set up out here in this ring. Well all this here is the set of D-Generation-Ed’s. . .and XCW’s first talk show. . .”

Ed snatched the microphone from Edd’s hand.

“. . .THE ED FACTOR!”

Ed paused as the crowd cheered once more.

“The A-List Aftermath won the award for Talk Show of the Year last year. But that was because they had no competition. But now they have competition. . .and with the hosts of our new show being the current and greatest Tag Team Champions in the history of fiction wrestling. . .Geoff and Bridgette don’t have a chance!”

Edd got into a tug-of-war with Ed over the microphone.

“ED!” cried Edd. “Don’t insult the competition! Sorry Geoff and Bridgette, Ed’s still overwhelmed with excitement! You know what wearing gold does to wrestlers! Just ask Bart Simpson! Anyway. . .you’ll never know what will happen to guests on The Ed Factor! And what better guests to have on our first edition of The Ed Factor. . .the FORMER XCW Tag Team Champions. . .REN AND STIMPY!!!”

All the lights go off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by "YOU EEEDIOT!" followed by Scott Steiner's TNA music plays, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walk onto the stage and down the ramp with stern looks on their faces.

“Suffice to say that the newly named D-Generation Ed has a lot planned not just for XCW, but for fiction wrestling as a whole!” Early said.

Ren and Stimpy slid into the ring and posed on opposite turnbuckles.

“You got that right, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “It’ll be interesting to see what they have to ask to the former tag champions, and their opponents from Doomsday last night!”

Ren and Stimpy got off the turnbuckles and came face-to-face with the Eds.

“Now, gentlemen. . .” Edd said. “. . .allow me to ask you---“

Before Edd could continue, Ren snatched the microphone out of Edd’s hand.

“Shut up, YOU EEEEEEEEDIIIIOTTT!!! What the hell is going on in your pea-sized brain?”

“Yeah!” Stimpy said. “You both win ONE match against us, with your manager’s help, I might add, and out of nowhere call yourself the greatest tag team of all time? It takes more than having flashy merchandise and a talk show for others to look at you both and call you great!”

“You three have ran your mouths off yammering away about what you’re gonna do to make fiction wrestling better. . .well, Eddward, allow us to tell you. . .WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO!” Ren yelled. “We’re gonna keep fighting, FIND OUR OWN MANAGER, and challenge YOU for the tag team title belts in a rematch at March Majesty!”

The crowd erupted into a frenzy as Ren and Stimpy stared the Eds down. Ed grabbed the microphone out of Edd’s hand.

“YOU GOT IT! WE BEAT YOU BEFORE. . .AND YOU WILL BE BEATEN AGAIN!!!” Ed guaranteed.

“Not so fast, you monobrow sporting moron!” Ren said. “This match won’t just be any ordinary match. . .in order to defeat us. . .in order to successfully defend your tag team title belts. . .and call yourselves one of the greatest. . .you have to put me and/or Stimpy a lethal dose of wood! In other words. . .you’ve got yourselves. . .A TABLE MATCH!!!”

The crowd cheered in surprise! Edd’s eyes widened in shock while Ed stared down Ren and Stimpy. 

Ed suddenly took Ren down with a right hand! Stimpy charged at him while Ren got up and started a fistfight with Edd. Ed picked Stimpy up and put him on his shoulders. Ed took Stimpy down with the Eledrifier, with Stimpy’s body colliding into the fixture in the process! Ed then picked Ren up by the sides and took him down with a belly-to-back side slam! Ren and Stimpy slid out of the ring and limped up the ramp, selling their abdomen in pain as they glared at the Eds, who yelled back at them with the title belts raised above their heads as the show went to a commercial break.

Backstage, Mario sat on the floor of his locker room doing stretches until Peach stormed in and slammed the door behind her.

“Can you believe what just happened out there?” Peach asked her husband, who just ignored her, continuing to do a stretch.

“Nazz from D-Generation Ed challenged me to my Women’s Championship!” Peach said. Mario continued to ignore her, falling face-down on the floor and beginning to do push-ups.

“I mean, can you believe the nerve of that bitch?” Peach asked. “Her friends win the Tag Team titles, and she already thinks she’s worthy of fighting me for this belt!”

Mario continued to do push-ups, angering Peach.

“Are you really just gonna ignore me like this?” Peach snapped. “Do you have any idea what’s going on---“

Mario stood up and came face-to-face with his wife. 

“Look, Peach! I was one judgment call away from losing the world title last night, AND the entire Syndicate is banned from ringside tonight! You’re angry someone wants to challenge you for the Women’s title; I have to be at the top of my game or else I will lose mine! The Syndicate is nothing without the World Heavyweight Championship! Without this. . .”

Mario draped the World title belt over his shoulder.

“. . .no one will look at us the same way again. I gotta go.”

“. . .kay. . .” Peach said weakly, before briefly kissing Mario on the lips. Mario left the locker room, leaving Peach concerned.

Back in the ring , aggressive rock music played as Jimmy stood in the ring, getting pumped up.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .JIMMY!!!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre with Jimmy now out of the hospital and ready for one-on-one action in his hometown of Peach Creek!” Early said.

“Jimmy’s wounds have healed and he’s back at full strength! It’ll be a joy to watch him compete---“ Shake said, until pyro exploded on the stage. 

“Oh no.” Shake said, as "No Mercy" by Pharaohe Monch played and Claude Speed walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with a barbed-wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand.

“And his opponent. . .from Liberty City. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“This is the tune-up match Tommy alluded to just now?!?!?!?” Shake screamed in disbelief!

“Claude is a mad man right now!” Early said. “Deadpool cost him the Television title at Doomsday, and later proceeded to beat the hell out of him in the back! But Claude gained an upper hand when he invaded WWE’s Saturday Night Animated and proceeded to beat Deadpool senseless! It culminated one month later, when on Animated, after Deadpool was making fun of Claude, claiming he’s retiring from the Hardcore scene. Claude would come out and issue the challenge for the Saturday Night Animated after the Royal Rumble: Claude and Deadpool one-on-one in a falls count anywhere match!”

Claude walks around the ring, resting his 2x4 against a ring post. Claude then enters the ring through the second rope and climbs onto the second turnbuckle, raising his fists toward the fans.

“And Jimmy is Claude’s punching bag for it tonight!” Shake said.

Upon climbing down the turnbuckle, Claude turns around and spears Jimmy, then hammers away at his head with furious right and left hands! Claude then pulls Jimmy to his feet by the air and Irish whips him hard into a corner. Jimmy immediately collapses to the mat face-up on impact, only for Claude to pick Jimmy up and Irish whip him out of the ring to the ringside floor! Claude exits the ring through the middle rope and stands on the ring apron. Claude then jumps off the apron and takes out Jimmy with a Flying Clothesline!

“Good God! This is heinous!” Shake cringed.

The referee begins the ten count as Claude gets up to his feet and grabs Jimmy by the hair. He drags Jimmy over to the announce table and slams his head onto the top of it before putting him in a headlock and slamming him to the ground with a side headlock takedown. Claude then picks Jimmy up again and throws him into the barricade with a sickening thud! Claude picks Jimmy up over his shoulders and launches him face-first into the steel post! Jimmy clenches his head in agonizing pain as Claude slides him back into the ring under the bottom rope. 

“I don’t think Claude is seeing Jimmy in this match right now.” Early said. “I think he can only see Deadpool!”

Claude enters the ring behind him and lands a Lou Thesz Press onto Jimmy before hammering away at Jimmy’s head with right and left hands! Claude taunts to the crowd who cheer back while Jimmy staggers up to his knees. Claude runs off the ropes behind him and connects with a Bicycle Kick to Jimmy! Claude goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .3!

“Claude Speed sending an emphatic message to The Merc With A Mouth!” Early said after the bell rang!

“Here is your winner. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

Claude gets off Jimmy for the cover and continues to punch him square in the face. 

“Wait a minute, Claude’s not done yet!” Early observed.

The referee tries to pull Claude off him but Claude stands up and shoves him down. Claude then grabs Jimmy and Irish whips him over the ropes back down to the outside area. Claude sizes Jimmy up and connects with another Bicycle Kick! Claude looks down at Jimmy, then all over ringside and finds his barbed wire 2x4. 

“MY GOD! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!!!” cried Shake.

Now limping, Jimmy staggers up to a standing position as Claude cocks the 2x4 behind him like a baseball bat. Jimmy and Claude meet eyes. . .until Claude nails him square in the face with the 2x4, knocking Jimmy to the ground! Jimmy covers his eyes with his arm screaming in agony as Claude grabs a steel chair from under the ring.

Shake asked, “Why does Jimmy have to suffer at Claude’s hand???”

Claude raises the steel chair over his head and repeatedly hits Jimmy across the back with it! Jimmy screams in pain until the fifth hit, upon which his body goes limp and unresponsive, but Claude continues to swing the chair, seething with intense anger!

After the tenth hit, Claude throws the chair at the barricade and grabs a microphone.

“Last night at Doomsday. . .” Claude said, “. . .Deadpool and his buddies attacked me while I had my guard down in a moment of weakness. They beat me senseless in an attack that had it all: furious stomping, a pistol whipping. . .and even a chokeslam through a crate. As they left me laying there in the wood and concrete, I wondered why the hell Deadpool started all this one-upmanship anyway.”

“And then it came to me. . .Deadpool calls himself the ‘greatest Hardcore Champion ever’ and he will prove it by any means necessary, even if it means taking out Hardcore Champions in other companies! Now this company has only been around for a short time, but I can already tell you all that between Deadpool and I, I am the better Hardcore Champion! Like Deadpool, I am a deranged, psychopathic lunatic. Like Deadpool, I go into a Hardcore match with no regard for the well being of others.”

“But the one thing that separates me from Deadpool, and makes me the better Hardcore Champion is that I have more drive and desire to succeed in this business. Deadpool has accused me of retiring from the Hardcore title scene for the past couple months in favor of going after the Television title. The Hardcore title has not once left my thoughts. But if Deadpool thinks for one second that I would pass on an opportunity to move up the ladder in this company, just to stay in the Hardcore division, he’s got another thing coming!”

“I am more hardcore than anyone in fiction wrestling, and this tune-up match was all I needed to regain my ground! I hope you were watching this, Deadpool, because THIS IS WHAT’S COMING FOR YOU ON SATURDAY NIGHT ANIMATED!!! And when we square off one-on-one, falls count anywhere, I will do something that no one else has ever done. . .SHUT YOU UP!”

Claude throws the microphone at Jimmy’s prone body and storms up the ramp as multiple referees check on Jimmy.

“I fear for the safety of every man, woman and child at the arena Claude and Deadpool will be fighting each other in!” Shake said.

“Who knows what will happen when those two psychopathic men go head to head in a match where falls count anywhere?” asked Early as the show went to a commercial break.

“And now. . .the XCW Smack of the Night! Presented by The Krustry Krab! Come Spend Your Money Here!”

Last night at Doomsday, during the Tai-Garfield match, Tai crawled over to the ropes and pulled himself up, selling his midsection in pain. Tai turned around and stretched his arms away from his sides, stalking Garfield, who slowly rose to his feet. Garfield finally stood upright and staggered around to face Tai.

“What has to be going through Tai's mind right now?” Shake asked. “WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO TO DEFEAT GARFIELD?”

Tai grabs onto Garfield and screams in exertion as he, with all his might, picks Garfield up and slams him down with a Scoop Slam!

Early cried, “WHAT DID WE JUST SEE?”

Both men lay motionless on the mat as Jon and Sora look up at Tai and Garfield in shock!

Tai crawls over Garfield for the cover, hooking the leg, unaware that Jon Arbuckle has strided over to the ropes closest to both of them, and grabbed Garfield's foot!  
The referee makes the count! 1. . .2. . .

The referee sees Garfield's foot on the bottom rope, stopping the count!

“ TAI WOULD HAVE THIS MATCH WON IF IT WEREN'T FOR DAMN ARBUCKLE!” Early cried.

The referee turns to Jon and orders him off the apron.

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Early yelled. “LOOK AT SORA!”

Sora strides angrily to the north side of the ring as Jon steps off the apron. Jon turns to a side only for Sora to take him out with a spear! Jon rolls on the floor in pain as Sora stands up, scowling at him.

“PAYBACK'S A BITCH, ARBUCKLE!” screamed Early.

Tai turns back to face Garfield, who is up to his knees. Tai picks him up by the head and tries to pick him up again, only for Garfield to grab him by the throat!

Garfield slams Tai down with a thunderous Chokeslam! Garfield goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .3! 

“Garfield gets the victory!” Early said, as Jon raised Garfield's arm in victory and taunted to Tai and Sora, wincing in pain as he sold his back.

Back in the arena, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome. . .JON ARBUCKLE!!!”

The crowd erupts into boos as a referee wheels Jon Arbuckle, sitting in a wheelchair with an ice pack on his back, onto the entrance ramp. 

“If it wasn’t for this man getting involved in a valiant display of athleticism and fortitude last night, Tai would’ve emerged victorious against Garfield!” Early said.

“And he wouldn’t have to live with the fact that he was laid out by a girl!” Shake added.

Jon glares around at the crowd as he puts the microphone up to his mouth.

“How dare you people boo me!” Jon said, inciting the crowd to boo even more.

“Not only am I here acting as the messenger for the anonymous chairman. . .I am an injured man! I was the victim of an unnecessary spear at the hands of Tai Kamiya’s wife, Sora Takenouchi!” The crowd cheered upon Jon’s announcement.

“The hit and the landing on the concrete broke two of my lower ribs!” Jon looked around at the cheering crowd, scowling at them.

“I will be bound to a wheelchair for the next month!” Jon said, immediately followed by more cheers from the crowd! 

“HOW BLOODTHIRSTY ARE YOU PEOPLE???” Jon asked the crowd, who responded with even more cheers! Jon shook his head and began to speak again.

“Of course, if Tai and Sora were here tonight, I would give them a piece of my mind! Nevertheless, last night before Garfield’s glorious victory against Tai Kamiya, the chairman told me that an announcement would be made tonight that will impact the ENTIRE roster of XCW! And I am here to deliver said message.”

“You see, XCW has acquired a group of men. A group of men who despite going through conflicts amongst themselves in their lives and careers, have made quite a name for themselves in fiction wrestling! They’ve won multiple tag team championships, competed for singles championships, and have left a mark in WWT, CWF, and UCW! But now you all are wondering: how does a free agent acquisition impact the WHOLE roster? These men are simply that damn good, and will make an immediate impact when they make their XCW debut in four weeks! Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to welcome. . .the newest members. . .of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!”

Jon Arbuckle points above him at the titantron, upon which, a video played.

Four figures knelt in each corner of the ring.

“They are former CWF Tag Team Champions. . .”

All four silhouetted figures hit kicks to the midsection and go for tie-ups against jobbers.

“Former UCW Tag Team Champions. . .”

One figure takes down a jobber with the Scorpion Death Drop, while another has a Figure Four Leg Lock hold applied.

“And four of the most recognizable faces in the entire fictionverse!”

One silhouetted figure hits a 619 on a jobber, while the last one hits a Stunner on another jobber!

All four figures stand next to each other in a line facing the camera.

“They are. . .The Four Soldiers. . .

. . .of South Park.”

The lights go up revealing Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick standing in the middle of the ring!

Cartman said, “You WILL respect our AUTHORITAH!”

Kyle holds up four fingers like the Four Horsemen symbol as Cartman begins to laugh in intensity.

“YEAH!!!”

Back in the arena, the fans cheerd wildly, screaming and holding up their signs in a frenzy!

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!” Shake screamed.

“OH MY GOD!!” Early yelled. “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”

“THEY’RE COMING! THEY’RE COMING!” Shake yelled.

Early screamed, “THE SOUTH PARK FOUR ARE COMING TO XCW!!!”

Jon Arbuckle grinned at the crowd as he wheeled himself back to the backstage area.

“LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!!!” Shake yelled. “THEY LOVE IT!”

In their locker room, Ren and Stimpy sat watching the events in the arena unfold.

“The Four Soldiers of South Park are coming here. . .I don’t believe it!” Stimpy said.

“Well believe it, stupid!” Ren said. “This gives us even more incentive to better ourselves as a tag team and show the Four Soldiers who the real tag team force is here in XCW! But we first need to one-up D-Generation-Ed and find a manager to keep Nazz in check! Do you have any leads, Stimpy?”

“Nnnyyeah, I sure do, Ren!” Stimpy said in excitement. “I got one at the grocery store today!”

Stimpy opens their small refrigerator and rummages through it while Ren smiles in excitement and encouragement.

“Atta boy!” Ren said. “Who’d you get?”

“I got this tough as nails, feisty. . .”

Ren rubs his hands together in anticipation until. . .

“. . .plump. . .CHICKEN!”

Stimpy pulls out an uncooked chicken out of the freezer and shows it to Ren. Ren’s face falls into a saggy look of contempt.

“Are you trying to join the JOB Squad, YOU EEEEDIOT??? We’ll look like FOOLS if you take that thing out to the ring next week!”

“Aw come on, Ren! It’s happened before in wrestling!”

Ren covers his face with his hand in embarrassment.

“Well. . .all right. . .”

“OH JOY!” Stimpy screamed, hugging the chicken as Ren looked back up at him with a look of disdain.

“But if we lose next week, our search for a manager continues WITHOUT THE CHICKEN!”

“No problem, Ren! Chicken and I will dominate!” Stimpy assured, as Ren stood up and left the room.

“What did I do to deserve this?” muttered Ren under his breath, as the show went to a commercial break.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .it is your XCW Main Event of the Evening. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

"What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny plays as Bugs Bunny poses on the stage then walks down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“Last night Bugs found himself closer to the XCW world title than he ever had been in his entire career! All he had to do was land on ground outside of the cage, and he would be crowned the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion!” Early recapped.

Bugs entered the ring and poses on the turnbuckle.

“But he had to make sure Mario didn’t land first!” Shake added. “They battled literally to the edge and back of the cage, and fell off at the same time! The match ended on a judgment call by the referee, who declared Mario the winner!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario runs onto the stage raising the World title belt above his head, towards the ring to boos from the crowd.

“And his opponent. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom, he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .MARIO!”

“And that brings us to tonight! The chairman decided to do what was right and fair in his mind, and that was to set up the rematch for tonight! Will the third time be the charm for Bugs---WAIT A MINUTE!!” Early said, until Bugs ran towards Mario once he reached the foot of the ramp. Bugs leapt over the ropes, taking Mario out with a flying lariat! Bugs stood back up and brought Mario to his feet, and slammed him face-first into the ring post! Bugs then stomped repeatedly onto Mario’s chest.

“My God! The match hasn’t even started yet!” Early said.

“Bugs won’t settle for anything less than a win tonight!” said Shake.

Bugs pushed Mario into the ring under the bottom rope and elbowed him in the face. Bugs slides into the ring after him and the bell finally rings, signaling the start of the match. Bugs immediately goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicks out! Bugs picks Mario up by the head but Mario punches him repeatedly in the gut. Mario ties Bugs up in a grapple and puts him in a headlock, then takes him down with a side-headlock takedown. Mario wrenches onto the headlock until Bugs stands back up with the hold still on him! Bugs ties Mario up in a grapple and pushes him toward the ropes. Bugs goes for a bulldog but Mario shoves Bugs forward, towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Mario goes for a Back Drop but Bugs falls out of it. Bugs then takes Mario down with a neckbreaker! Bugs goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicks out!

“Bugs not showing any signs of slowing down as the match continues on!” Early said.

Bugs picks Mario up and goes for a Bunny Bomb but Mario counters out of it with a Suplex! Mario lifts Bugs up again and hits a Reverse DDT! Mario goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicks out! Mario stomps on Bugs repeatedly in the middle of the ring. Mario then runs against the ropes and lands a moonsault onto Bugs! Mario goes for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicks out! Mario looks down at Bugs with furious disdain! Mario then tries to lock Bugs in the Boston Crab submission hold, but Bugs fights his way out of it! Bugs counters the move attempt into an Ankle Lock!

“BUGS COUNTERED THE BOSTON CRAB! NOW LOCKING IN THE ANKLE LOCK!!!” Early yelled.

Mario screams in agonizing pain as he pulls his way toward the ropes. With wide eyes, Bugs glared down at Mario and screamed “TAP OUT! TAP OUT!” at the top of his lungs! 

“Look at the crazed look in his eye!” Early observed! “BUGS KNOWS HE HAS MARIO BEATEN!!!”

Mario lunges toward the ropes desperately, his face turned red from the pain! Bugs, however, pulls Mario back in the center of the ring! The referee asks Mario if he wants to quit, but Mario shakes his head no. Mario suddenly manages to spin around on his back and kick Bugs toward the ropes. Mario stands back up and takes Bugs down with a DDT! Both men lay down in the center of the ring as the referee begins the ten count!

“Both of these men have beaten each other senseless for now two nights in a row for one reason and one reason only: to be the World Heavyweight Champion!” Shake said.

Bugs and Mario stagger up to their feet and come face-to-face with each other. They each trade right hands, with the crowd yelling “Boo!” in unison to Mario’s punches, and cheering “Yay!” in unison to Bugs’ punches. They trade right hands for a minute until Mario gains the advantage by nailing Bugs with three punches in a row, backing him up against the ropes. Mario picks Bugs up and takes him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex! Mario goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

BUGS KICKS OUT!

Mario looks down at Bugs, frustrated! Mario then steps over to the corner, pointing at it. He climbs up the turnbuckle and taunts for the Super Mario Splash. . .until Bugs runs up the same turnbuckle and hits him in the gut with body punches. Bugs sets Mario up a superplex only for Mario to throw him back down to the mat below! Mario jumps off the top rope and connects with the Super Mario Splash! Mario sells his midsection as he goes for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 BUGS KICKS OUT!!!

The crowd erupts into a frenzy as Mario punches the mat repeatedly in frustration!

“BUGS’ WILL TO SUCCEED HASN’T DIED YET!” Early said.

Shake added, “Much to the chagrin of Mario!”

Mario rolls out of the ring, darts to the timekeeper’s booth, and grabs the World title belt. He slides back into the ring and cocks back the belt only for the referee to try to pull it out of Mario’s hands. They exchange a few words until Mario nails the referee in the head with the title belt!

“Mario wants to put Bugs away the only way he knows how!” Early said.

Mario cocks the belt back behind his head, taunting for Bugs to get up. Bugs staggers to his feet and turns to face Mario, who aims the title belt at his head. . .until Bugs kicks him in the midsection and takes him down with a Bunny Bomb!!!

“THE BUNNY BOMB CONNECTS!!! THAT MAY BE ALL SHE WROTE!!!” Early yelled.

Bugs falls to the mat in exhaustion, and slowly crawls toward the referee and tries to wake him up, but to no avail! Bugs and Mario both struggle to get up to their feet!

“BUGS IS DOWN! THE CHAMPION IS DOWN! THE REFEREE IS DOWN! WHO WILL REPRESENT XCW---“ Early said, until. . .

“Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played on the titantron!!!

“What the hell?” Early asked, as Bugs and Mario pushed themselves up to their knees, unaware that Garfield as storming down the ramp towards the ring!

“IT’S GARFIELD!” Early cried. “WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING OUT HERE???”

Garfield climbs over all three ropes, entering the ring! By this point both Mario and Bugs are standing groggily. Garfield grabs Bugs by the throat with one hand, then he grabs Mario with the other, and takes them both down with a double chokeslam! He looms over both of them and picks up the XCW World Heavyweight title belt.   
Garfield raises the belt above his head toward the booing fans as Monday Night Massacre goes off the air!

And so concludes part 2. As always, let me know if there are any character inconsistencies, and also let me know if I have improved on my promo writing in any way, and what I can do to improve on it. Also if anyone would like to talk Wrestlemania with me tonight, feel free to reach me via PM! RATE/REVIEW!!!

Results:

Tommy Vercetti defeated Solid Snake (enters March Majesty Tournament)  
Scorpion defeated Sub-Zero (enters March Majesty Tournament)  
Team Ed becomes D-Generation Ed and debuts The Ed Factor  
Claude Speed defeated Jimmy  
Jon Arbuckle announces the South Park Four have signed with XCW  
Mario and Bugs Bunny fought to a no-contest for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship


	11. XCW Massacre: March Week 2

Before I get to this new chapter of XCW: Monday Night Massacre, I’m not quite done celebrating the VICTORY OF TEAM BRING IT!!! BOOTS TO ASSES! FRUITY PEBBLES! IF YOU SMELLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’! ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY! Okay I’m done. I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme plays and pyro explodes on the titantron, after which millions of fans stand in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“What does Garfield’s interference in the World Heavyweight Championship match last week mean for Bugs’ contendership? And what does it do to the World title picture? Welcome to XCW Monday Night Massacre, where we are live tonight from my old stomping ground, Northern Georgia! Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight Shake, we fill three more spots in the March Majesty Tournament!”

Shake responds, “We sure do! Our March Majesty spots tonight will be contested in matchups which include Wario against a wrestler making his XCW debut, and Tai Kamiya against the former Hardcore Champion, Arthur!”

Adding to it, Early said “And that’s not all, Shake! We also have a huge tag team match, where Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd will take on Ren and Stimpy!”

Plankton stands in the middle of the ring with a microphone. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome. . .GARFIELD!!!”

"Bad Man" by Jim Johnston plays as Garfield stomps down the ramp with a microphone in hand.

Early commented, “Last week, Bugs and Mario fought each other to their limits in a rematch for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. The referee was incapacitated, giving Garfield the initiative to come out to the ring and proceed to chokeslam Bugs AND Mario!”

Garfield steps over all three ropes and stands in the middle of the ring, looking around at the crowd

Shake responded, “Garfield has been an unstoppable force since XCW’s birth. . .I think I have a pretty good idea of what that attack, and what he’s gonna say out here right now are all about.”

Garfield puts the microphone up to his mouth and begins to speak.

“You all are probably surprised that I’m out here talking right now. Almost as surprised as you all were when I ran down to this ring last week. I looked Mario and Bugs Bunny square in the eyes, grabbed them both by their throats, and with all the power inside my body, chokeslammed them down to the mat! My attack on those two men was meant to give them both a reality check.”

“You forget, way back when this company first started, there were four men in one match fighting to be called the first XCW World Heavyweight Champion. In the end, it came down to Mario and Bugs BUT SINCE THAT MATCH. . .I have been waiting. I have been angry. I HAVE BEEN HUNGRY FOR MORE THAN JUST LASAGNA! All the bodies I’ve maimed and sent to the hospital, I tore them all apart to show that I AM THE RIGHT MAN TO HOLD THAT TITLE, AND REPRESENT XCW AS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!”

“So Mario. . .I’m issuing the challenge right now. You and me for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .AT MARCH MAJESTY!”

Suddenly, ”Teen Beat Ocean” by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario strides down the ramp with the World Heavyweight title belt draped over his shoulder.

Early reacts, “Well, here comes the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, and he doesn’t appear to be too happy about what Garfield just said!”

Mario puts a microphone up to his mouth as he gets to ringside.

Mario screams, “CUT MY MUSIC!” as he enters the ring above the middle rope and comes face-to-face with Garfield.

“How dare you even insinuate that you deserve to be World Champion! Let me spell something out for you, Garfield. I am more than just the face of this company, and the face of video games. I am a champion of life! I’ve won championships in golf, in tennis, in kart racing, dancing, you name it, I’ve won something in it. While you, on the other hand, the only championships I think you’ve laid claim to winning are championships in sleeping contests. . .channel surfing contests. . .and just from your size. . .”

Mario scans Garfield’s body from bottom to top.

“. . .you’ve definitely won a lot of eating contests. Any hillbilly that’s from an area like this can easily win any of the titles you’ve won!”

“On top of that, of course you’ve broken all the bodies you have in the past two months. You’ve beaten up on cruiserweights and has-beens!”

Garfield stares Mario down, snarling, while Mario looks at the crowd, nodding and saying ‘It’s true! It’s true!’ before looking back at Garfield again and continuing to speak.

“You know what, I will accept your challenge at March Majesty! Because you don’t scare me one bit, you lazy, redneck---“

"What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny plays as Bugs Bunny steps onto the stage through the entranceway with a microphone up to his mouth.

“Woah, woah, woah! Not so fast, Doc! You both have left one huge piece out of the equation! The Super Mario Syndicate, acts of God, and now YOU, Garfield. . .have managed to screw me out of winning that title Mario wears over his shoulder right now. But I’m not giving up. I’m still here, I’m still standing my ground. . .hell, I’M THE ONLY CARTOON CHARACTER AMONGST THE THREE OF US RIGHT NOW! I am the epitome of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling! I have proven that I am the most resilient, passionate showman here in this industry, and every slap in the face I get from everyone here only motivates me even more to continue my pursuit of the World Heavyweight Championship, and join the ranks of the greatest to ever walk down this ramp!” 

Mario and Garfield stare Bugs down, with Mario putting the microphone up to his mouth.

“Well, Bugs. You do make a valid point. You are resilient. . .just like a spider trying to get into Garfield’s food bowl. And Garfield, as we all know, hates spiders. So I propose this. . .tonight, you and Garfield face off in the ring, with the number one contendership on the line, and the winner faces me for the title at March Majesty!”

Bugs strides down the ramp, glaring at Mario as he starts to speak.

“Hell no! No one’s gonna screw me again! I deserve one more outright shot for your title, and you know---” 

Bugs reaches the foot of the ramp until Jon Arbuckle yells off-screen.

“THAT’S ENOUGH, GENTLEMEN!”

The crowd erupts into boos as Jon Arbuckle wheels onto the stage with a microphone up to his mouth.

“Sorry I’m not Space Ghost, Mario, but I’m here representing the anonymous chairman tonight, and only I have the power to I make the matches around here!”

Mario responds, “You? Have power? Wow. . .that must’ve been somebody else I saw at Doomsday that got laid out by a girl.” 

The crowd erupts into laughter as even Bugs chuckles a little bit. Jon just sneers at Mario, holding back anger.

“I’ve heard enough from all of you!” yelled Jon. “You all have made enough valid claims to contend for the World Heavyweight Championship. So I came out here to make a few matches tonight. First, Bugs Bunny! If you and Daffy defeat the former tag team champions, Ren and Stimpy tonight, you get a shot at the World title. And Garfield: I’ve been with you since day one. You are indeed due for a shot at the title at March Majesty. However, in order to earn it, you must defeat the Hardcore Champion, Tommy Vercetti. . .in a HARDCORE MATCH!”

“And if both you and Bugs win your respective matches tonight, then Mario, you would defend the XCW World Heavyweight Championship at March Majesty in a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH! Good luck to all of you!”

Jon wheels back to the backstage area, leaving Mario standing in the center of the ring, shocked, as the show went to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returns from break, Plankton stands in the middle of the ring with a microphone in hand. 

“The following contest is a March Majesty Tournament Qualifying match set for one fall!”

A dubstep remix of the Super Mario Bros. theme plays as Wario and Peach step onto the stage.

Plankton announces, “Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Peach. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from Kitchen Island. . .WARIO!!!”

“Will Wario join his fellow Syndicate member and Television Champion, Luigi in the March Majesty tournament?” Shake asked.

Early responds, “We’ll see about that, Shake! Because tonight Wario goes up against a wrestler that’s making his XCW debut right now!”

Plankton speaks into the microphone as Wario pumps himself up in the ring.

“And his opponent. . .making his XCW debut. . .

. . .REPRESENTING D-GENERATION-ED. . .(Crowd Cheers)

“WHAT?” Shake exclaimed.

“Wait a minute. . .” Early said until X-Pac’s DX theme plays.

Plankton continues his announcement as Rolf steps on the stage with Nazz!

“. . .and being accompanied to the ring by Nazz. . .from The Old Country. . .ROLF!!! (Crowd Cheers)

Rolf and Nazz stand on the stage and do the DX crotch chop together, with pyro going off in unison to it!

“THE SON OF A SHEPHERD IS NOW A MEMBER OF THE XCW ROSTER!” cried Early.

Wario and Peach stand in the ring, staring at Rolf in shock! Rolf runs down the ramp and leaps onto the ring apron, then a top turnbuckle, posing towards the fans!

“THE FORMER PCUW TAG TEAM CHAMPION HAS JOINED D-GENERATION ED!” exclaimed Shake.

Nazz reaches the foot of the ramp and applauds Rolf, who jumps off the turnbuckle landing on the mat. From the opposite side of the ring, Peach stares down Nazz as the bell rings, signaling the start of the match. Rolf and Wario get into a tie-up in the middle of the ring, and Wario powers Rolf into a corner and clubs away at his chest until Rolf grabs Wario by the overalls and flips him into the corner! Rolf slaps away on Wario’s chest with quick chop after chop! Rolf then takes Wario down with a monkey flip! Rolf goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Wario kicks out!

Rolf pulls Wario up to his knees only for Wario to rake his eyes. Wario then Irish whips Rolf towards the ropes and goes to grapple him on the bounceback, but Rolf leaps over him, jumps onto the middle rope and hits Wario with a springboard dropkick! Rolf goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Wario kicks out! Rolf gets onto the middle turnbuckle and goes for a Flying Crossbody but Wario catches him and slams him to the mat with a fallaway slam! Wario goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicks out! Wario picks Rolf up and drags him to the corner. Wario then rams Rolf’s head into the top turnbuckle face-first repeatedly! Rolf eventually kicks Wario in the midsection, runs towards then jumps off the ropes, and lands a Hurricanrana pin attempt! 1. . .2. . .Wario kicks out!

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone move as quick as Rolf!” said Early.

Rolf and Wario charge at each other and get into another tie-up in the center of the ring. Wario puts Rolf in a front face lock and takes him down with a suplex! Wario then backs up against the ropes and lands a falling elbow to Rolf’s sternum. Wario then lands a Big Splash onto Rolf! The referee makes the count 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicks out, much to the chagrin of Wario! Wario picks Rolf up and Irish whips him into the corner, then lands a running splash onto him! Wario then climbs up to the second turnbuckle and taunts the crowd, who boo at him. Wario jumps off for a sitting drop but Rolf rolls out of the way, causing Wario to hit the mat on his ass! Both men lay down in the middle of the ring as the referee starts the ten count!

“Both men are down! Who’s going to the March Majesty Tournament?” Early wondered.

“I got a feeling we’ll be seeing that powerful clothesline from Rolf any time now!” Shake said.

Rolf and Wario stagger up to their feet and Wario takes Rolf down with a clothesline! Rolf immediately gets back up to his feet only for Wario to take him down with another clothesline! Rolf charges at Wario only for Wario to take him down with a Military Press! Wario then flexes his biceps to the audience, taunting them. Rolf staggers up to his feet and turns to face Wario. Wario lifts him up for a Piledriver but Rolf counters it into a Tornado DDT! Rolf runs against the ropes but as he reaches the ring apron, Peach grabs onto his feet and pulls them out from under him, sending Rolf to land face-first on the mat! Nazz strides towards Peach with her fists clenched. Peach starts to back up until Nazz turns the corner. Peach then runs around the ring and up the ramp, back to the backstage area, with Nazz chasing her from behind!

“Nazz and Peach giving chase away from ringside!” Early said.

Rolf pushes himself back up as Wario tries to lift him up for a Piledriver again. Rolf however counters it into a Jawbreaker! Wario staggers up to his feet as Rolf runs against the ropes. Rolf then hits Wario with a massive Clothesline From The Old Country!

Early yelled, “AND ROLF CONNECTS WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!”

Shake smirked. “You know, Early, for short it’s. . .”

“I’m not falling for it!”

Rolf went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And D-Generation-Ed will be represented in the March Majesty Tournament!” Early said as the bell rang!

“Thank you!” Rolf said, as he got on his knees and looked up at the ceiling with his arms out.

“Here is your winner. . .ROLF!!!”

The referee raises Rolf’s arm in victory. Rolf then climbs onto a top turnbuckle and does the DX crotch chop in celebration!

“Only three spots remain in the March Majesty Tournament!” Early said, before the show went to the backstage area.

The screen was split, with Bugs and Daffy walking down one hallway on one half of the screen, while Ren and Stimpy walked down another hallway. Stimpy had his hands out in front of him carrying the raw chicken, which wore a fez.

Early announced, “Well, ladies and gentlemen, with a World title shot on the line for him, Bugs Bunny will team up with Daffy Duck against the former XCW Tag Team Champions, Ren and Stimpy, with their new manager. . .of sorts. And that match is NEXT!”

Stimpy looks down at the chicken. “What does everybody want?”

Ren covers his face with his hand in embarrassment as Stimpy massages the chicken.

“What does everybody need?” Stimpy said to the chicken before the show went to a commercial break.

A silhouetted figure knelt in a corner of the ring.

“He is a former Hardcore Champion. . .”

The figure nailed a jobber with a steel chair, choked a jobber with a baseball bat, and dove off the top rope with a baking sheet under him, landing on a jobber.

“A multiple-time Tag Team Champion. . .”

Two silhouetted figures performed various double team moves on various jobbers.

“And capable of the self-sacrifice that it takes to win. He is. . .”

The figure performed a 619 on a jobber.

“. . .The Extremist. . .Kenny McCormick.”

The lights went up in the ring to reveal Kenny McCormick standing in the middle of it.

“Mmmph mph mph mmmph mpph mpphhh!”

Back in the arena, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!”

"What's Up, Doc?" followed by "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny plays as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck pose on the stage then walk down the ramp.

“Introducing first. . .the team of DAFFY DUCK AND BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“If he and Daffy get a victory tonight against the former Tag Team Champions, Bugs gets a shot at Mario’s World Heavyweight Championship at March Majesty!” Early said.

Bugs and Daffy enter the ring and pose on opposite turnbuckles.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “But there’s a lot riding on the former champions as well!”

All the lights go off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by "YOU EEEDIOT!" followed by Scott Steiner's TNA music plays, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walk onto the stage and down the ramp, with Stimpy carrying the chicken in his hands, while Ren still has his face covered with his hand.

“And their opponents. . .being accompanied to the ring by Chicken. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .REN AND STIMPY!!!”

“Last week, Ren and Stimpy were the first ever guests on D-Generation-Ed’s new talk show, The Ed Factor! And let’s just say they didn’t take too kindly to the Eds winning their tag titles at Doomsday.” Early said.

“You’re absolutely right, Early! Ren and Stimpy challenged them to a rematch for the titles at March Majesty, only this time, both teams in the match have to put their opponent through a table in order to win!’ said Shake.

Ren and Stimpy pose on opposite turnbuckles, with Stimpy raising the chicken high above his head toward the fans.

“Ren and Stimpy also promised to get their own manager to even their odds against the Eds! They managed to find one. . .but I’m more than skeptical about their choice.” Early said.

“Well, you forget, Early. Ed loves chickens, whether they be alive or dead!” said Shake, as the bell rang.

The match begins with Bugs Bunny facing off against Stimpy, who rests the chicken on the ring apron next to his corner. Bugs and Stimpy get into a tie-up in the middle of the ring, which Stimpy turns into a waist-lock. Stimpy goes for a belly-to-back slam but Bugs counters it into a waist-lock of his own, taking Stimpy down with an Atomic Drop. Stimpy sells his back as he faces Bugs, who hits him with chop after chop until he is backed into a corner. Bugs then Irish whips Stimpy into the other corner. Dazed, Stimpy bounces off the corner and Bugs takes him down with a running clothesline! Bugs goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicks out!

Bugs picks Stimpy up, but Stimpy kicks him in the midsection and lands a DDT. Stimpy then Irish whips Bugs into his corner and tags in Ren. He and Stimpy stomp a mudhole into Bugs in the corner. Ren Irish whips Bugs against the ropes and lands an Elbow Smash onto Bugs’ face. Ren goes for a Bulldog but Bugs counters it into a Back Drop! Bugs then tags in Daffy. Daffy runs toward Ren and goes for a knee to the face but Ren gets up in time and lands a spinning wheel kick, taking Daffy down! Ren goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicks out!

“Ren and Stimpy fighting to build momentum in their favor going into their Tag Title match, while Bugs is fighting for a World title shot! Which team will get what they want?” asked Early.

Ren then turns Daffy onto his chest and locks him into an STF! Ren tightens the hold on Daffy’s neck as he writhes in pain! Daffy inches and claws toward the ropes, reaching out for them with one free hand! The referee kneels next to Daffy and asks him if he wants to quit, but Daffy shakes his head no. Daffy worms closer and closer to the ropes. . .extends his hand out towards the bottom rope. . .and successfully grabs onto it! The referee stands up and orders Ren to break the hold, which he willingly does. Ren pulls Daffy back to the middle of the ring and goes for the cover, hooking the leg of an incapacitated Daffy. 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicks out!

Ren pulls Daffy up to his feet and hits him with a chop to the midsection. Ren then runs against the ropes behind Daffy and takes him down with a bulldog! Ren jumps onto the ropes in front of him and lands a Springboard Leg Drop onto Daffy! Ren goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicks out! Ren can’t believe it!

“So close, but no cigar for Ren and Stimpy!” Early exclaimed!

Ren stands up and taunts for Daffy to get up. Daffy staggers back up to face Ren, who goes for a kick to Daffy’s midsection. Daffy, however, grabs onto Ren’s leg. . .only for Ren to go for an Enziguri kick to the back of his head, but Daffy evades the kick and takes Ren out with a Backbreaker! Ren and Daffy both lay down in the ring, and crawl to their respective corners!

“Bugs and Stimpy waiting for a tag!” Early said.

“Who will gain the advantage?” wondered Shake.

Bugs slaps his hand repeatedly on the top turnbuckle next to him, with his other hand extended towards Daffy, while Stimpy does the same to Ren. Daffy and Ren extend their hands out. . .

inch closer to their corners. . .

. . .and Daffy makes the tag to Bugs first, with Ren tagging in Stimpy a second after! Bugs and Stimpy charge at each other, with Stimpy taking Bugs down with a Clothesline! Bugs gets up and is taken down with another clothesline from Stimpy! Bugs gets up and Stimpy takes him down with a Powerslam! Stimpy goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

BUGS KICKS OUT! Stimpy can’t believe it!

“Bugs lives for the World Heavyweight Title!” Early said. “He will never give into defeat!”

Stimpy gets up and taunts for Bugs to get up. Bugs rises to his feet and Stimpy goes for the Log Cutter but Bugs pushes him towards the ropes, and on the bounceback, kicks him in the midsection and takes him down with the Bunny Bomb!

“BUNNY BOMB TO STIMPY! BUGS GOT HIM!” Shake yelled.

Before Bugs can go for the cover, Ren jumps off the top rope and hits Bugs with a Hurricanrana! Before Ren can escape from the ring, Daffy jumps from the top rope and connects with a Missile Dropkick to Ren! Ren and Daffy roll out of the ring as Stimpy crawls towards the chicken while Bugs pulls himself up with the ropes. Bugs turns around and Stimpy slaps him in the face with the raw chicken, knocking him down to the mat! Stimpy climbs up to the top rope but the referee calls for the bell to be rung. Ren stood up from the ringside area, dumbfounded!

“The winners of this match as a result of a disqualification. . .DAFFY DUCK AND BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“Bugs got a faceful of chicken. . .but with it comes a shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!” Early said.

Ren slaps his hand over his face in embarrassment as the referee raises Bugs’ arm in victory! Ren slides into the ring as Bugs and Daffy celebrate while backing up the ramp.

Stimpy and Ren stand in the center of the ring. Ren and Stimpy argue in the middle of the ring until. . .

“HEY! Look at the titantron!” Shake said, as Edd from D-Generation-Ed appeared on the titantron screen!

“Now, now, gentlemen, the conflict amongst you two regarding a possible manager can be easily resolved without verbal abuse!” Edd assured. “Just suggest each idea you both have come up with until they eventually become one!”

Ren and Stimpy looked up at the titantron, confused, unaware that Ed was suddenly right behind them!

“Oh, forgive me, I do tend to get a bit wordy. I guess what I’m trying to say is. . .”

Ed puts each of his hands on Ren and Stimpy’s heads.

“PUT YOUR HEADS TOGETHER!” Ed screamed, before bashing Ren and Stimpy’s heads against each other, sending them to crumble down to the mat! Ed stood over Ren and Stimpy with a microphone in hand.

“AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE THAT IDEA, THEN WE’VE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA!”

Ed then did the DX Crotch Chop, while Edd also did it from the titantron!

“An emphatic message from D-Ed to Ren and Stimpy!” Early said.

“Emphatic is right!” said Shake in agreement.

Ren and Stimpy clenched their respective heads, writhing in pain as Ed stared them down from the ramp, raising his fists and the Tag title belt above his head as the show went to a commercial break!

In a hallway, Tommy Vercetti stands next to Carl Brutanandilewski, who has a microphone in hand.

Carl asked, “Tommy Vercetti, you are one of the eight competitors in the March Majesty Tournament set to kick off next week, but tonight you take on the monster Garfield, in a Hardcore match. It’s a non-title match, but considering who you’re facing, what’s your mindset as you prepare for it?”

Tommy replied, “My mindset? My mindset is that this match tonight is a handicap match. Because I’m going into this hardcore match fighting with the strength of two men: me and Claude, whose dirty work I’ve been doing and will continue to do in his absence. Also, you see this belt right here?”

Tommy points at the Hardcore title belt draped over his shoulder.

“Garfield may be a monster, but when I’m in a match under hardcore circumstances, I become an even bigger monster. When falls count anywhere, and there are no holds barred, I am capable of bringing utter destruction to levels that Garfield has never reached. So he better be ready to receive as much pain as he gives. . .because I am The Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti. . .and I’m here to raise hell!”

Back at ringside, Shake remarked, “Tommy Vercetti doesn’t even know what he’s in store for in tonight’s main event.”

Early responded, “I agree, Shake! He is the Hardcore Champion for a reason, but even with that reason in mind, the odds are not in Tommy’s favor to win tonight.”

Back in the ring, Plankton stands in the center of the ring with a microphone up to his mouth. “The following contest is a March Majesty Tournament Qualifying Match, scheduled for one fall!”

"CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA?" followed by Booker T's WWE Theme plays as Arthur walks onto the stage.

“Introducing first. . .from Elwood City. . .ARTHUR!!!”

Arthur poses on the stage, with pyro and flames erupting from it. As Arthur strides down the ramp, Early comments, “Arthur and Tai faced off against either before, in the first match in XCW’s history: a 4-way ladder match for the then-vacant Television Championship!”

Arthur enters the ring through the middle rope and poses on a turnbuckle.

Shake replied, “But tonight, these former champions square off one-on-one, with the final spot in the March Majesty Tournament up for grabs!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage plays as Tai and Sora run onto the stage and down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Sora Takenouchi. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

Shake says, “Aside from Doomsday, we haven’t seen much in-ring action Tai Kamiya in the last month, but despite that, he has made the most of the two months he’s been with us in XCW; becoming our first Television Champion, representing us in the CWF Supershow, and even going bell-to-bell against Garfield, and surviving!”

Tai slides into the ring and poses on two turnbuckles to the fans.

Early responded, “You’re absolutely right, Shake! But he almost didn’t come here. In fact, Tai came close to retiring from wrestling after WWE’s Clash of the Titans! But learn how XCW came to be, what brought Tai to our roster, and much more in Destined, an XCW Exclusive and Original Story coming soon!”

The bell rings and the match begins with Tai and Arthur in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Tai puts Arthur in a wrist-lock and takes Arthur down with a fireman’s carry. Arthur charges at Tai and pushes him into the corner. Arthur lands right hand after right hand on Tai’s body until he falls seated in the corner. Arthur taunts the crowd as he steps to the opposite corner. Arthur runs toward Tai and goes to kick him in the face, but he rolls out of the way, making Arthur hit the corner! Arthur sells his head in pain until Tai rolls him up for a pin attempt! 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicks out!

Tai picks Arthur up to his feet, only for Arthur to immediately shove him against the ropes, and hit him with a clothesline, sending him down to the ringside floor. Arthur then exits the ring through the middle rope, stands on the apron and takes Tai down with a Flying Clothesline, but colliding back first into the barricade in the process!

“Both men are down outside the ring!” Early said. “Who will join the likes of Tommy Vercetti and Rolf in the March Majesty Tournament?”

The referee begins the ten count! Both Tai and Arthur stagger up to their feet, with Arthur putting Tai in a wrist lock. Arthur then Irish whips Tai into the steel steps, with Tai colliding into them with a sickening thud! Arthur then steps over to Tai and picks him up by the hair. Arthur then lands a Russian Leg Sweep onto the concrete! The referee’s count is up to five at this point. Arthur gets back up and slides Tai under the bottom rope, back into the ring. Arthur goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicks out!

Arthur picks Tai up and locks him in the Pagemaster Lock (Master Lock) in the center of the ring! Tai tries to fight out of it but to no avail. . .until he kicks Arthur in the shin, forcing Arthur to break the hold! Tai then faces Arthur and takes him down with a DDT! Tai goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicks out! Arthur gets up to his knees but Tai puts him into a side headlock and goes for a bulldog but Arthur counters it into an attempt at a back drop, only for Tai to drop out of it and take Arthur down with an Atomic Drop! Arthur sells his lower back in pain as he faces Tai, who takes him down with a Hurricanrana pin attempt! The referee makes the count 1. . .2. . .Arthur counters the pin attempt into a roll up of his own, with a handful of Tai’s tights in his hand! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicks out!

“Arthur almost got away with stealing the victory!” Early said.

Tai pulls himself up to his feet with the ropes only for Arthur to take him down with a German suplex! Arthur then sizes Tai up and runs against the ropes. Arthur goes for a Scissors Kick but Tai counters out of it, and takes Arthur chest-first down to the mat and locks him in---

“THE CROSSFACE!! TAI HAS THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN!!!” Early screamed.

“What the hell?” Shake asked. “When did he start using that???”

Tai tightens the hold on Arthur’s head as the referee asks Arthur if he wants to quit! Arthur extends his hand out to the ropes as Tai lets out a scream of intensity. Arthur inches closer to the bottom rope. . .reaches even closer for it. . .but taps out! 

Tai let go of the hold as the bell rang and raised his fists above his head in celebration as Sora slid into the ring.

“Here is your winner. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

Sora and Tai embrace in the middle of the ring, and the referee raises Tai’s arm in victory!

“With a new weapon in his arsenal, Tai Kamiya advances into the March Majesty Tournament!” Early said.

Tai climbs up a turnbuckle and raises his fists toward the fans in celebration.

“You got that right!” Shake said. “Who will claim the final two spots next week?” he asked, as the show went to a commercial break.

Nazz stormed the backstage area, looking around all over it.

“WHERE ARE YOU, PEACH???” yelled Nazz.

Nazz turns a corner and comes into a women’s bathroom. She kicks the trash can inside it down to the linoleum floor.

“YOU CAN’T AVOID ME FOR MUCH LONGER!!” screamed Nazz. Suddenly, a small pink high-heeled shoe falls onto the floor in the stall furthest away from the entrance. Nazz scowls as she takes silent steps toward the stall.

Nazz kicks the door open revealing Peach standing on top of a toilet! Peach jumps off it, slapping and scratching at Nazz’s face until Nazz spins her onto her back and hits her with right hand after right hand! 

“My God! It’s a catfight back there! Somebody stop it!” Early screamed.

“Are you kidding, Early?” Shake asked. “DON’T STOP IT!”

Nazz then rolls off Peach and grabs her by the hair, pulling her up to her knees. Nazz then raises the toilet seat and puts Peach’s head over the toilet bowl, with Peach screaming in fear!

“NO! NO!” Peach screamed. “LET ME GO!”

“Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.” Nazz said. “I never got an answer for my challenge from last week. You accept, I’ll let you go. You deny, and you get swirlied until you DO accept it! I’m not gonna stand for the way you treat the rest of us women like shit. . .so if you’re smart, you won’t want to taste it! So what’s it gonna be, champ? Yes? Or No?”

“YES! YES! You’ve got your match! LET ME GO!” Peach yelled.

Nazz smiled in satisfaction. ”Thanks, champ!”

Nazz pulled Peach over the floor again and stomped on her one more time.

“See you at March Majesty!”

Nazz did the DX crotch chop to Peach and exited the stall and the bathroom. Peach was left trying to push herself up!

“My God! That was totally uncalled for!” Shake said.

“It was the only way for Nazz to get Peach’s attention!” Early said. “And now she has that as well as a Women’s Title match at March Majesty!”

“The following contest is a Hardcore match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event of the evening!!!”

“Wayfarer” by Kavinsky plays as a Bobcat pickup truck makes its way down the ramp, and around the ring.

“Introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

The truck comes to a stop at the foot of the ramp, with the cab of the truck facing the entranceway. 

“Tommy is appearing to be more prepared than ever before tonight! But I’m getting word now that the final two March Majesty Qualifying matches next week will pit Solid Snake against Daffy Duck in a Second Chance match, while the final one will feature Donkey Kong against Jak!” Early said, promoting next week’s show.

Tommy Vercetti got out of the truck to cheers from the crowd and opened the truck bed. He climbs into it and throws assorted weaponry into the ring, including a table, steel chairs, and street signs.

“It’s shaping up to be a very competitive tournament, Early!” Shake said. “There’s no clear favorite!”

“With a win tonight, however, Tommy Vercetti could prove himself to be the favorite to win the whole tournament, and go into it with a huge wave of momentum! But first he has to defeat---“

“Bad Man” by Jim Johnston plays as Garfield stomps down the ramp to boos from the crowd, focusing only on the ring.

“---this man!”

“And his opponent. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!!!

“Tommy’s fighting for momentum in the March Majesty tournament, but Garfield is fighting for a shot at the most coveted prize in XCW: the World Heavyweight Championship!” Early said.

Garfield steps over all three ropes and stares Tommy down with a look of anger.

“And the odds are in Garfield’s favor!” Shake said. “But Tommy’s proven to be the very definition of the word hardcore! This match could prove to be a good one!”

The bell rings and the match begins with Garfield still staring down Tommy, who has a kendo stick in hand. Tommy charges at Garfield, dropkicking Garfield in the knees. 

“Garfield taking a page out of Tai’s book, going after the legs in hopes of bringing the big man down!” Early observed.

Tommy then raises his kendo stick and whacks Garfield across the back with it! Garfield roars in agonizing pain as Tommy continues to hammer away at his back with the kendo stick until he finally takes Garfield down! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Garfield powers out of the cover, sending Tommy flying a bit, and landing face-first on the mat! Tommy runs back towards Garfield but he grabs Tommy by the head and knocks him down with a headbutt! Garfield then picks up a steel chair and lays it across Tommy’s sternum. Garfield then steps on the chair, pushing it down onto Tommy’s body! Tommy coughs and screams in pain as Garfield pushes down on his foot even more!

“Good God! Garfield delivering so much pain, and there’s nothing the referee can do about it in this no-disqualification match!” Early said.

Garfield pushes the chair off Tommy and goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicks out, much to the surprise of Garfield! Garfield picks Tommy up to his feet but Tommy kicks Garfield in the midsection and pulls his feet out from under him, taking him down. Tommy then picks up a steel chair and repeatedly hits Garfield across the back with it! 

“I don’t think I’ve seen Garfield this vulnerable before!” Shake said.

The crowd gets into a frenzy as Tommy continues to slam the chair into Garfield’s back! Tommy then stomps a mudhole on Garfield’s chest before running against the ropes and landing a falling elbow to Garfield’s head! 

“Neither have I, Shake!” Early said. “Tommy’s all over him like flies on---“

“Hold that thought, Early! Tommy’s going for the cover!”

The referee makes the count 1. . .2. . .Garfield kicks out! Tommy can’t believe it!

“Garfield’s taken so much punishment. . .but he’s still in this thing!” Early remarked.

Tommy then picks up the kendo stick and repeatedly hits HIMSELF in the face with it until he is busted wide open!

“MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY???” Early screamed.

“It’s like a video game! The sight of his own blood brings out a deadlier side to Tommy Vercetti!” said Shake.

Tommy screams in intensity as the crowd begins to cheer again. Garfield sits up only for Tommy to nail him right between the eyes with the kendo stick! Tommy goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .GARFIELD POWERS OUT, sending Tommy flying over the middle rope and into the back of his truck! 

“Uh-oh. . .” said Shake, upon seeing Garfield sit back up, revealing his face to be busted wide open!

“And now Garfield is in the same place mentally as Tommy Vercetti! How much longer will this go on?” Early wondered.

Garfield stands back up and stares Tommy down as he steps over all three ropes and into Tommy’s truck bed. Tommy sits back up and hits Garfield in the leg with a speed limit sign! As Garfield winces in pain, Tommy gets back up and hits Garfield in the midsection with the sign! Tommy then drops it and manages to take down Garfield with a DDT on the speed limit sign!

“MY GOD! How has the truck not given out by now??” asked Early, as Tommy went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 GARFIELD POWERS OUT, landing Tommy back into the ring! Tommy staggers up to his feet and grabs a stop sign, while Garfield sits back up in the truck and picks up a table. Garfield pulls the table’s legs out and throws it in the ring, successfully hitting Tommy in the face and body with it! Garfield lumbers over to Tommy and grabs him by the shoulders, then throws him across the ring! Tommy screams in agonizing pain as he struggles to stand back up. Garfield stomps over to Tommy only for Tommy to hit him in the midsection with the stop sign! Tommy then takes Garfield down with a neckbreaker! Tommy stands back up and looks down at Garfield, who is struggling to sit back up. 

“Go for the cover, Tommy, unless you have something else in mind!” yelled Shake, as Tommy picked the stop sign up and climbed up the top turnbuckle! 

“NO. WAY!” Shake yelled.

Tommy puts the stop sign up against the back of his body.

“Oh my God! Don’t do it!” Early screamed. “DON’T DO IT, TOMMY!”

Tommy leaps off the top rope, sitting under the stop sign, but Garfield rolls out of the way, sending Tommy to land on the mat on top of the stop sign!

“My God! Tommy looked to land the stop sign on top of Garfield!!!” Early said. “But both men are down!”

Garfield gets up to his feet first and pushes Tommy’s head and neck against the corner, choking him! Garfield then slaps Tommy’s chest with a thunderous chop! Tommy crumbles to the mat as Garfield roars toward the crowd and raises an open paw up!

“Garfield signaling the beginning of the end!” Early said, as Tommy tried to push himself up to his knees until Garfield grabbed him by the throat! Garfield stares Tommy down with wide, menacing eyes as he pulls Tommy up to his feet. Suddenly. . .

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Early yelled. “IT’S MARIO!”

“One challenger is enough for Mario!” Shake said!

Mario runs down the ramp and climbs onto the top turnbuckle! Mario goes for a missile dropkick only for Garfield to grab Mario by the throat with his free hand! Garfield takes down Mario with a chokeslam on the stop sign, then chokeslams Tommy Vercetti through the wooden table!

“BY GOD THAT’S GOTTA BE IT!” said Early, as Garfield went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

The bell rang as Garfield got up and let out an intense roar!

“Here is your winner. . .GARFIELD!!!”

The referee raises Garfield’s arm in victory before checking on Tommy Vercetti. 

“For the first time in our history, the XCW World Heavyweight Championship will be decided in a triple threat match!” Early said. “It will be Mario versus Bugs Bunny versus that man right there. . .GARFIELD!!! Mario’s days as champion may be numbered!”

Garfield stared down Mario’s prone body in anger as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Alrighty, there’s part 2. As always, let me know if there are any character inconsistencies and I’ll go in and fix them. I’m also still concerned about my promo writing, so critique me on that if you all would like and let me know if I can do better. RATE/REVIEW!!!

Results

Rolf defeats Wario (advances to March Majesty Tournament)  
Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck defeat Ren & Stimpy (Bugs gets XCW World Heavyweight Title shot at March Majesty)  
Tai defeats Arthur (advances to March Majesty Tournament)  
Garfield defeats Tommy Vercetti (gets XCW World Heavyweight Title shot at March Majesty)


	12. XCW Massacre: March Week 3

Okay, guys, here’s a new chapter of XCW Massacre! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“As March Majesty comes closer and closer, so does the unpredictability of the March Majesty Tournament, as well as that of the XCW World Heavyweight Title picture! Who will emerge as a top contender for both, here tonight, in Camp Wawanakwa? Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight, Shake, with the tournament starting only a week from now, we have a blockbuster main event with HUGE implications for it tonight!”

“You got that right! We have a MASSIVE six-man tag team match tonight that will feature ALL of the participants in the March Majesty Tournament! Tai, Tommy Vercetti and Rolf will team up to take on Luigi, Spike Spiegel and Scorpion!”

“And that’s not all!” Early added. “Tonight, the XCW World Heavyweight Champion will be in action when he teams up with Wario to take on the XCW Tag Team Champions. . .D-Generation-Ed!!! It’s safe to say we’re in for one wild night!”

“The following contest is a Second Chance March Majesty Tournament qualifying match scheduled for one fall!”

"Amerika" by Rammstein plays as Solid Snake steps down the ramp towards the ring to a mixed reaction.

“Introducing first. . .from The United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!”

“This match came about not only after Daffy’s unfair loss to Luigi in the first qualifying match for the March Majesty Tournament, but after Solid Snake’s loss to Tommy Vercetti!” informed Early.

“You got that right!” Shake said. “Luigi only won against Daffy thanks to interference from the Super Mario Syndicate, while Solid Snake put up such a valiant effort against The Harwood Butcher, the anonymous chairman decided to give both of them a second chance to get into the tournament!”

"Wabbit" by Misshin plays as Daffy Duck runs onto the stage and strides down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with Bugs Bunny following him.

“And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Bugs Bunny. . .from New York City, New York. . .DAFFY DUCK!!!”

“Last week, Daffy helped his former rival and friend Bugs Bunny earn a World Title shot in a tag team match!” said Early.

“Although their win did come via disqualification thanks to Bugs getting a face full of raw chicken from Stimpy! But the best tag teams are smart enough to not make those mistakes.” Shake said.

“Ren and Stimpy have lost a few steps since losing the Tag titles at Doomsday, but they look to regain them and more once they find a manager!” said Early as the bel rang.

The match begins with Snake and Daffy pacing around the ring, facing each other. They get into a tie-up in the middle of the ring and Snake puts Daffy in a wrist-lock, taking him down with a couple arm drags. Snake then takes Daffy down with a clothesline! Snake goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicks out! Snake brings Daffy up to his feet and rams his head face-first into the top turnbuckle multiple times until Daffy falls face-up on the mat. Snake goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicks out!

Snake tries to put Daffy into the sleeper hold but Daffy counters it into a Russian Leg Sweep. Daffy then runs against the ropes and lands a falling elbow onto Snake’s sternum! After a couple stomps, Daffy runs toward the ropes and lands a springboard elbow drop! Daffy goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicks out! Daffy pulls Snake up to his feet only to be met with a thrust to the midsection from Snake. Snake then takes Daffy down with a swinging neckbreaker! Snake goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicks out!

“A hard-fought contest between these two men! Who will emerge victorious?” wondered Early.

Snake brings Daffy up to his feet but Daffy immediately hits Snake in the chest with a furious chop! Daffy continues to hit Snake with chop after chop until he is backed up against the ropes. Daffy then Irish whips Snake toward the ropes on the other side. On the bounceback, Daffy takes Snake down with a Drop Toe Hold and then locks in an Ankle Lock submission maneuver! Snake screams in agonizing pain as Daffy intensifies the hold!

“Daffy locking in the ankle lock! Will he reclaim the spot that was stolen from him?” asked Shake.

The referee asks Snake if he wants to quit but Snake shakes his head no as he extends his hand toward the bottom rope. Snake raises his hand above the mat. . .inching closer to the rope. . .until---

“WAIT A MINUTE!” Early yelled upon seeing Luigi run down the ramp!

Luigi jumped onto the ring apron, distracting the referee! The referee gets out of the ring and orders Luigi to go back to the backstage area. Meanwhile in the ring, Snake taps out to the ankle lock! But the referee still argues with Luigi on the outside!

“The last thing the Syndicate wants is a Looney Tune in the March Majesty Tournament!” Shake said.

Daffy lets go of the hold and tries to get the attention of the referee. Snake suddenly kicks Daffy in the face from where he lays and locks in the Sleeper Hold!

“The Syndicate screwing over the Looney Tunes yet again. . .WAIT A MINUTE! LOOK AT BUGS!” yelled Early as Bugs suddenly ran toward Luigi and knocked him back with a running elbow to the face! Luigi backed up the ramp with Bugs staring him down angrily! 

“And now the Television Champion is running like a scalded dog back to Mario and company!” Early said.

Meanwhile, the referee goes back into the ring, where Snake has brought Daffy to one knee with the sleeper hold still locked in! Daffy tries to fight out of it. . .but taps out! 

“DAMN IT!” Early yelled. “SNAKE WON, THANKS TO THE SYNDICATE!”

Snake lets go of the hold and raises his fists above his head in celebration!

“Here is your winner. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

The referee raises Snake’s arm in victory while Bugs checks on Daffy in the ring.

“Snake’s going to the March Majesty Tournament, thanks to the Syndicate doing everything they can to give themselves a chance!” Early said, before the show moved to the backstage area.

Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi stood in a hallway with Carl Brutanandilewski, who had a microphone in hand.

“Tai Kamiya. . .” Carl said, “. . .you are one of the eight competitors in XCW’s inaugural March Majesty Tournament. What will it mean for you to win the whole tournament, and earn a World title shot?”

“Carl. . .” Tai said, “. . .Sora and I have been wrestling for almost 14 years, with most of my time as the leader of the Destined, which has all but dissolved. My time in this business has been a rollercoaster ride: the success of Digi-Generation-X, the desperate times of the Digital World Order, and the ladder match against Davis Motomiya that put my wrestling future into question. But a lot has changed since that match. As you know, I was an athlete before I was a wrestler. During my hiatus, I got back to my athleticism, and busted my ass off to gain ground as a technical wrestler along with being an extremist. I gained another reason for fighting. . .”

Tai put his arm around Sora’s waist and pulled her close.

“. . .and for living. And I became hungrier than ever before to bring relevance and glory back to the Destined! I will not let myself be remembered for my losing streak at Wrestlemania, or Ash putting me through an announce table off the Cell, or losing the Hardcore title to Kim Possible. To win the March Majesty Tournament would mean I’ve earned more than just a title shot. . .I will have earned my return to relevance, and the top of the mountain in this industry. And when I do, Carl. . .I will never fall back down!”

Tai and Sora left the interview area as the show went to a commercial break.

Back in the arena, aggressive rock music played as Daisy strutted down the ramp to boos from the crowd.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .DAISY!!!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre where we are about to see Daisy take on Nazz in one-on-one action!” Early said.

“I’ve been looking forward to this all night!” Shake said. “With a win tonight, Nazz can make a statement to the Women’s Champion!”

“T&A” by Jim Johnston played as Nazz struts onto the entranceway and posed to cheers from the crowd.

“And her opponent. . .representing D-Generation-Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .NAZZ!!!”

“I don’t know if Nazz can make a statement more emphatic than the one she gave last week to Peach herself!” Early said.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “Nazz almost dunked poor Peach’s head right into a toilet! Nazz has made it very clear that she believes she’s due for a title shot!”

“Now is the perfect time to strike, too, with the rest of the Super Mario Syndicate focusing on the March Majesty tournament and the monster, Garfield, which we’ll get to later on!” Early said, as the bell rang.

The match begins with Daisy charging at Nazz. Nazz, however, takes down Daisy with a Lou Thesz Press and hammers away at her face with right hand after right hand! Nazz gets off Daisy and makes an X with her arms, raising it up to the crowd, who cheer back at her. Nazz turns back around and lands an angry stomp onto Daisy’s head! Nazz goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daisy kicks out!

Nazz picks Daisy up by the hair and throws her into the corner, hammering away at her with right hand after right hand, sending her to fall into a seated position! Nazz then runs around the ring and comes to the opposite corner. Nazz then charges towards Daisy and his her with the Bronco Buster!

“My God! I wouldn’t want to be in Daisy’s position!” Early said.

“You kidding me?” Shake scoffed. “I sure would!”

Nazz drags Daisy to the center of the ring by the legs and goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Daisy kicks out! Nazz picks Daisy up by the hair but Daisy manages to give Nazz a thumb to the eye. Daisy runs against the ropes and takes Nazz down with a neckbreaker! Daisy sizes Nazz up as she stands up to her feet and takes her down with a snapmare and then locks her in an abdominal stretch! Nazz, however, fights out of it though, flipping Daisy over her body to the mat in front of her, and then locking an armbar onto her! The referee asks Daisy if she wants to quit but Daisy shakes her head no. Daisy reaches for the bottom rope with her free hand and manages to grab onto it, breaking the hold! Nazz goes for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

Daisy grabs onto the rope!

Nazz gets up and grabs Daisy by the legs, only for Daisy to kick her toward the ropes behind her! On the bounceback, Daisy rises up and tackles Nazz down to the mat, slapping and clawing away at her face! This continues until Nazz rolls Daisy onto her back and repeatedly punches her in the face with right hands! The crowd now in a frenzy, Nazz stands up and struts to another corner and faces Daisy. As Daisy staggers up to her feet, selling her head, Nazz taunts her with the DX Crotch Chop! Nazz then runs toward Daisy and hits her with All That Nazz (Springboard Bulldog/Stratusfaction)!!! Nazz goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And Nazz with an emphatic victory!” said Early as the bell rang. Nazz got up and celebrated as Daisy rolled out of the ring.

“Here is your winner. . .NAZZ!!!”

The referee raises Nazz’s arm in victory. Nazz then gets on a top turnbuckle and makes the X sign with her arms toward the fans in celebration!

“With her impressive debut, Nazz stuck yet another fork into the Super Mario Syndicate!” Early said.

“Yeah, well, come March Majesty, who knows how many forks will be sticking out of it!” wondered Shake.

“In your own words, Shake, you got that right! Because ladies and gentlemen, as Mario learned last week, along with the rest of us, at March Majesty, he will be defending the XCW World Heavyweight Championship in a Triple Threat match against his rival Bugs Bunny, and the monster Garfield! Now Bugs, as we all know, has his sight on the prize but Garfield is new somewhat to the World title picture. With that, we invite you to take A Closer Look. . .at Garfield!”

The show then transitioned to a video package, starting with Garfield and Jon Arbuckle standing in the center of the ring.

“This man standing before you all right here. . .” Jon said, pointing at Garfield, standing to his left.

“. . .is Garfield!”

Garfield beats down Arthur, Tai and Squidward in the backstage area.

“When Garfield walks amongst the wrestlers in the back. . .he is capable of utter annihilation. But in this ring. . .”

Garfield entered the ring, climbing over all three ropes.

“. . .Garfield unleashes the true monster within him.”

Various moments featured Garfield standing face-to-face with his opponents, highlighting the size difference between them both.

“With size comes power. And with power. . .”

Garfield lifts various opponents above his head and drops them to the ground.

“. . .comes domination and supremacy.”

“It doesn't matter if he faces one man. . .”

Garfield Cathugged Jimmy, chokeslammed Samurai Jack, and took down Bugs with a diving double axe handle.

“Somebody stop this madness!” Early screamed.

“. . .two men. . .” Jon continued to speak over Garfield grabbing the heads of Jonny 2x4 and Johnny Bravo, and slamming them both together! Garfield then grabbed Johnny Bravo by the neck and took him down with a Chokeslam onto Jonny 2x4!

“This monster Garfield has just delivered non-stop pain since coming to XCW!” Shake commented!

“. . .or even three men.” Jon said over Garfield double chokeslamming Sub-Zero and Scorpion, then chokeslamming Solid Snake on top of them both!

“The question isn't will anyone stop Garfield. . .” Early said. “. . .CAN anyone stop Garfield?”

“Garfield IS the best wrestler in XCW. . .” Jon said, “. . .and he will prove it by mauling Mario, and by breaking Bugs' neck, to become the XCW World Heavyweight Champion!”

A quick montage of all the beatdowns at the hands of Garfield played out.

“And that's nothing but bad news for everyone. . .except me. . .and him.”

The image moved up from Jon Arbuckle to Garfield’s face, staring into the camera angrily.

In his locker room, Mario looked around the room with the rest of the Super Mario Syndicate surrounding him.

“I can’t believe what I’m up against.” Mario said. “It’s one thing to face Bugs for a third straight time, but now that monster is in the mix too? I’m royally screwed!”

“No you’re not, man!” Wario said, encouraging Mario. “You’ve got us! We’ll help you like we always have!”

Peach suddenly stormed into the locker room, fuming.

“Well, you shouldn’t!” Peach yelled. “We’ve been there for him this whole time but he hasn’t done a damn thing for us! Mario, WHERE WERE YOU LAST WEEK WHEN I ALMOST TASTED TOILET WATER???”

“Come to think of it. . .YEAH! Where were you for my March Majesty qualifier last week?” interrogated Wario. “And the tag title match at Whiplash? We could be the most decorated stable in all of fictional wrestling right now, what’s the deal?”

Mario shuddered in fear.

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry for not being there for you guys! But you both need to understand that. . .well. . .let’s just say that after holding the World Heavyweight title for a long period of time, it’s became a bigger priority of mine than the Syndicate.”

“WHAT???” Peach, Luigi, Wario, Bowser and Donkey Kong screamed in shocked disbelief!

“HOW DARE YOU!” Wario said, coming face-to-face with Mario.

“Guys, I’ve had this belt for so long, I can’t be a Champion of Life without it!” Mario said. “And getting slammed to the mat by Garfield twice in two weeks only makes me more anxious for March Majesty! I’ll do anything to keep this belt. . .and to keep you guys around, too! I’ll make it up to all of you tonight! Wario, we’ll go out there right now, and when we exact revenge on those degenerates for what their lackey did to my wife last week, I’ll prove my loyalty to you and the entire Syndicate! I promise!”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as Mario stood up, draping the World Heavyweight title over his shoulder.

“Well? What are you waiting for? Let’s go!” led Mario, as he ran out of the locker room with Wario reluctantly trudging behind him as the show went to a commercial break.

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!”

All the lights are turned off in the arena. Suddenly. . .the following words come from the titantron.

“ARE YOU READY???”

“Stoopid Ass” by Grand Theft Audio plays from the beginning as the crowd erupts into cheers. 

“You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you’re better?”

The drums kick in on the song. 

“Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . .”

Records scratch on the song - “BREAK IT DOWN!”

Once the heavy guitars kick on, pyro explodes on the stage and Ed, Edd, and Nazz jump onto the stage from below it, their tag title belts in hand. Raising the title belts above their heads toward the fans, Ed and Edd stride down the ramp with Nazz right behind them.

“Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Nazz. . .from Peach Creek. . .they are the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .Ed and Double D. . .D-GENERATION-ED!!!”

“Since winning the XCW tag titles at Doomsday, these two men have made a mark not only in XCW, but all of fictional wrestling!” Early remarked.

Ed and Edd slide into the ring and climb on each turnbuckle, raising their title belts above their heads. 

“You got that right!” Shake said. “Not only do they have a talk show to compete against The A-List Aftermath, they were also ranked the number one tag team in all of fictional wrestling!”

They meet in the center of the ring, with Nazz right in front of them, and do the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

“But at March Majesty, they put their number one ranking to the test when they defend the tag titles against Ren and Stimpy in a Tables match, where in order to win, you have to put both of your opponents through a table!” informed Early.

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays as pyro explodes in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario and Wario run onto the stage and down the ramp to boos from the crowd, with Mario raising his belt above his head toward the fans.

“And their opponents. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .WARIO. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. . .MARIO!!!”

“How far has Mario fallen in the past two weeks?” asked Early. “He just outright admitted that he cares more about the XCW World Heavyweight Championship than his own friends!”

Mario and Wario stood on opposite turnbuckles, with Wario scanning the crowd while Mario taunted the fans with the World title belt.

“What do you expect?” Shake asked. “The odds are against Mario more than ever before! As he said before the commercial, he’ll do ANYTHING to keep his title, and I can’t blame him!”

“I think we may not only see the possible end of Mario’s title reign at March Majesty. . .but we may also see the end of the Super Mario Syndicate as we know it.” Early said, as the bell rang.

The match began with Wario facing off against Edd. Wario and Edd get into a tie-up in the middle of the ring, with Wario putting Edd into a waist-lock. Wario lifts Edd up for a German suplex but Edd falls out of it, and lands a dropkick to Wario’s back, sending him face-first into the Ed’s corner. Edd tags in Ed and they stomp a mudhole into Wario. Ed then picks Wario up and knocks him back down with an Edbutt! Ed runs against the ropes and lands a falling knee to the face of Wario! Ed goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Wario kicks out!

Ed picks Wario up to his feet and Irish whips him against the ropes, but Wario manages to latch onto the ropes before bouncing off them. He then tags in Mario, who enters the ring to a chorus of boos. Mario ties Ed up and puts Ed into a wrist lock, then slaps him across the face!

“Uh-oh. . .” Shake foreboded, as Ed stared down Mario angrily and knocked him down with a massive lariat! Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out! 

Mario puts Ed into a side headlock as he gets up, and takes down head with a side headlock takedown. Mario wrenches on the hold until Ed knees Mario in the gut. Both Ed and Mario rise back up to their feet and get into another tie-up. This time Mario puts Ed in a front face lock and takes Ed down with a Suplex! Mario goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ed kicks out! Ed pushes himself up and goes for a spear but Mario dodges it, sending Ed to run against the ropes. On the bounceback, Mario grabs Ed’s legs, takes him down and locks him in the Boston Crab submission hold!

“Ed’s an athletic force here in XCW. . .will Mario expose a weakness in the Monobrowed Monster?” wondered Early.

Ed raises his arm above the mat and extends it towards the bottom rope. The referee asks Ed if he wanted to quit.

“NO!” Ed yelled, as he crawled closer to the ropes. . .reached for the ropes. . .and successfully grabbed onto the bottom rope! The referee orders Mario to let go of the hold and he does, but gets into an argument with the referee afterwards. Suddenly, Ed picks up a distracted Mario and takes him down with a Back Drop! Ed goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicks out! Ed staggers up to his feet and picks Mario up for a fallaway slam but Mario counters it into a Tornado DDT!

“Both men are down! Who will gain the advantage?” asked Early.

Both men lay down in the ring crawling to their respective corners. Edd slaps his hand on the top turnbuckle repeatedly in anticipation for a tag! Ed and Mario crawl closer. . .and closer. . .they extend their hands out towards their partners. . .and both successfully make the tags! Wario and Edd run towards each other, and Wario immediately takes Edd down with a clothesline! Edd gets up and is met with another clothesline from Wario! Wario taunts for Edd to get up and takes him down with a Military Press! Wario goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Edd kicks out! Wario taunts for Edd to get up. Edd staggers to his feet and Wario puts him in a front face lock. Wario lifts him up for a sit-down piledriver but Ed takes Wario down with a Flying Clothesline from the top rope! 

Mario enters the ring and takes Ed down with a Triple Rolling Suplex while Wario staggers up to his feet and taunts for Edd to get up. Edd staggers up to his feet and Mario charges at him for a spear, but Edd dodges it, and Mario accidentally takes down Wario! 

Early: A miscommunication from the World Heavyweight Champion onto his tag team partner!

Mario looks down at Wario in shock until Ed picks Mario up and puts him on his shoulders, while Edd climbs up to the top rope! Edd lands the Diving Edsault onto Wario while Ed takes Mario out with the Eledrifier! Ed rolls out of the ring while Ed goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“D-Generation Ed has picked up a big victory!” Early said.

Edd stands up and raises a hand in the air in victory, selling his head with the other.

“Here are your winners. . .D-GENERATION-ED!!!”

Ed slides back into the ring and the referee raises his and Edd’s arm up in victory. Wario stumbles back into the ring while the Eds roll out of the ring, celebrating as they walk up the ramp.

Meanwhile, in the ring, Mario struggles to catch his breath while standing on one knee. Wario stands over him in anger.

“Wario with a few choice words to the World Heavyweight Champion. . .” commented Early.

Wario starts to yell at Mario, who stands back up and argues back at him.

“It’s getting heated between them. . .” Shake said, until Wario suddenly shoved Mario, who responded with a right hand to Wario’s face!

Wario gets back up and tackles Mario to the mat! Wario and Mario trade right hands as Peach, Daisy, Bowser and Waluigi run down the ramp and into the ring!

“Wherever Bugs is, he’s got to be smiling right now!” Shake said. “It just gets worse for the World Heavyweight Champion!”

Peach and Bowser pull Mario off Wario while Daisy and Waluigi push Wario to the other side of the ring, as Mario and Wario trade obscenities!

“You sure are, Shake!” Early assured. “We’re seeing the end of the Super Mario Syndicate before our very eyes!”

Waluigi and Daisy push Wario up the ramp as he and Mario continue to yell at each other until Massacre fades to a commercial.

The main theme of Grand Theft Auto III plays in a black-and-white commercial. Claude Speed sits in the back of a taxi looking outside it at the crime-riddled suburbs of Liberty City.

“I hate this goddamn city.” 

Claude strode down a sidewalk in the Portland suburb of Liberty City carrying a baseball bat.

“All the gangs I pissed off, and all the morons I used to pass by every single day. . .”

Claude repeatedly punches a giant red punching bag hanging from the ceiling of a hideout.

“The constant smell of factories. . .”

Claude runs from police officers across a street bustling with traffic.

“And of course, the law enforcement.”

Claude drives down Bedford Point in a Banshee car at breakneck speed, looking directly into the camera.

“So, Deadpool. . .you’re probably wondering. . .why did I even come back here?”

A montage plays out, featuring shots of Claude hitting the punching bag with a baseball bat until it bursts and falls off the ceiling, shots of Claude getting in fistfights with random pedestrians, gang members, and police officers, and shots of Claude throwing various weapons, trash can lids, chairs, and small appliances into the back of a Securicar van.

Claude smiles, looking directly at the camera from inside the Banshee car.

“Practice.”

All the interpromotional attacks between Claude and Deadpool played out!

“After the Royal Rumble, XCW’s Claude Speed battles Deadpool in a Falls Count Anywhere match!”

“Business will pick up when those two finally collide!”

“WWE Saturday Night Animated! Check your local listings!”

In their locker room, Ren and Stimpy sat on folding chairs across from each other.

“So, Stimpy, with the chicken out of our way and in my stomach, have you talked to everyone on our manager wish list?”

“I sure did, Ren!”

“Well, what did Muddy Mudskipper have to say?” Ren asked.

“He’s busy with his variety show.” Stimpy answered.

“Powdered Toast Man?”

“He was saving the world from Waffle Woman.”

“Mister Horse?”

“No sir, he didn’t like it.”

“Criminy!” Ren yelled. “We’ll never find a manager at this rate!”

“Well. . .what if we found someone who has a problem with the Eds. . .like an old rival, or someone they’ve beaten up on?” Stimpy suggested.

Ren grabbed Stimpy by the sides and pulled his face up against his in excitement.

“STIMPSON, YOU’RE A GENIUS!! But who. . .”

Stimpy and Ren sat back in their chairs, pondering as the show went back to the ring.

“The following contest is a March Majesty Qualifying Match set for one fall!!”

Aggressive rock music plays as Jak made his way down the ramp, to the ring.

“Introducing first. . .from the village of Sandover. . .JAK!!!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre with the last of our qualifying matches for the March Majesty Tournament!” Early said.

Jak loosens up in the ring, looking at the stage in anticipation for his opponent.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “After this match the official bracket will be revealed, along with the full slate of matches in the March Majesty quarterfinals, which will take place next week on Monday Night Massacre!”

“And his opponent. . .”

"Red Lottery" by Megasus plays as the arena becomes engulfed in red light. 

“Wait a minute---“ said Shake.

Early screamed “OH MY GOD!” upon seeing Hotsuma walk on the stage and down the ramp, looking at nothing but the ring.

“From Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!!!”

“We haven’t seen Hotsuma since the first World Heavyweight Championship match!” Early yelled in surprise.

Hotsuma climbs over all three ropes and stands on the middle rope in a corner, glaring at the fans.

“I know! He looks ready for a fight!” Shake said as the bell rang.

The match begins with Jak charging at Hotsuma, only for Hotsuma to slap him in the chest with a massive chop! Jak clenches his body in pain! Hotsuma hits Jak in the chest with chop after chop until he is backed up into the corner. Hotsuma then rams his shoulder into Jak’s body over and over until he is seated in the corner! Hotsuma then plants his foot onto Jak’s neck and chokes him with it in the corner! Jak chokes and coughs in pain!

“My God! Why is Hotsuma exacting so much punishment on Jak?” Early wondered.

“Come on, Early!” Shake said. “The final spot in the March Majesty tournament’s on the line! You’d have to expect Hotsuma to go all out.”

Hotsuma continues choking Jak out until the referee begins the five count. Hotsuma steps off Jak once the count gets to four. Jak clenches his throat and crawls to the ring apron under the bottom rope. From the inside of the ring, Hotsuma grabs Jak by the back of his shirt and turns him around. Hotsuma then pulls Jak into the ring, above the middle rope. Hotsuma then takes Jak down with a thunderous DDT!

“From the outside of the ring to the inside! Hotsuma is picking Jak apart!” Early observed.

Hotsuma does the cut throat taunt, waiting for Jak to get up. Jak crawls to the ropes, barely able to pull himself up. He slowly rises to his feet and staggers around to face Hotsuma, who takes him down with the Akujiki (RKO)!!! Hotsuma goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And Hotsuma convincingly takes the final spot in the March Majesty Tournament!” said Early as the bell rang.

Hotsuma got off Jak, who was barely able to roll out of the ring.

“Here is your winner. . .HOTSUMA!!!”

The referee goes to raise Hotsuma’s arm, but he orders him to get a microphone. Hotsuma raises his arms above his head in victory.

“Jak’s been looking for a break since his first match with Ed a month back, but he didn’t find that in Hotsuma!” Early said.

“You could tell Hotsuma had been waiting for a return to the ring! Now he’s got something to say.” said Shake.

The referee hands Hotsuma the microphone and immediately runs out of the ring, while Jak limps up the ramp.

“Jak. . .” Hotsuma said, “. . .to understand why I just beat you to within an inch of your life. . .you have to first understand the position I have been in for the past three months. These past three months, I have been held back from competition here in XCW. . .after going toe-to-toe with three men in the match to determine the first XCW World Heavyweight Championship.”

“But rest assured. . .I will hold back NOTHING in this tournament. Winning the March Majesty tournament. . .and becoming the new XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .will come at the EXPENSE of the well-being of the men that are taking in all the glory, and standing in my way to achieving those goals! When I win the tournament, and sit at the throne that is meant for me. . .XCW officials will think twice about benching me. . .but if it happens again. . .you will witness an uprising so biblical. . .that all of XCW will be drastically altered. Mark. My. Words.”

Hotsuma drops the mic on the mat and exits the ring, striding up the ramp.

“Hotsuma with a harsh but effective guarantee regarding the outcome of the March Majesty Tournament, and XCW as a whole!” Early exclaimed.

“Come on, Early!” Shake skeptically said. “Are you really gonna take his words seriously? There’s a reason he was held back for so long!”

“I don’t know, Shake. From the physically dominating performance of Hotsuma that we just saw, I can’t help but be intimidated!”

“Hotsuma’s all talk and no action. You’ll see!” Shake said, as the show went to a commercial break.

A silhouetted figure knelt in a corner of the ring.

“He is a former National Champion. . .”

The figure landed a Big Splash on a jobber, slammed a jobber down with a Powerslam, and hammered away on a jobber’s face with right and left hands.

“A multiple-time Tag Team Champion. . .”

Two silhouetted figures performed various double team moves on various jobbers.

“. . .And the biggest household name in all of South Park. He is. . .”

The figure performed a Stone Cold Stunner on a jobber.

“. . .The Enforcer. . .Eric Cartman.”

The lights went up in the ring to reveal Eric Cartman standing in the middle of it.

“You WILL respect mah AUTHORITAH!”

Back in the arena, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome. . .JON ARBUCKLE!!!”

The crowd erupts into boos as Jon Arbuckle wheels onto the stage through the entranceway, with a microphone in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .” Jon said, “I am very pleased to announce to you all the seedings of the upcoming March Majesty tournament! As well as to establish the quarterfinal matches that are scheduled to take place next week on Monday Night Massacre! First. . .”

“At the number one seed, the Harwood Butcher, and XCW Hardcore Champion, Tommy Vercetti, will square off against the eight seed, Scorpion!”

“In the 4-on-5 matchup, Luigi, the Television Champion, will take on Hotsuma!”

“The third seeded competitor, Spike Spiegel, will clash against Rolf!”

“And Tai Kamiya, at the second seed in the March Majesty Tournament, will go one-on-one with Solid Snake!”

“The semifinals, and the tournament final will take place at the March Majesty pay-per-view just 13 nights away! Thank you very much!”

“The field of eight is set, and the tournament is set to kick off next week!” Early said. “Who will be crowned March Majesty, and earn himself a World Heavyweight title shot at Endgame?”

“I can’t place bets on just one guy, Early! Anybody can win!” Shake said in excitement before the show went to the backstage area.

Tommy Vercetti stepped down a hallway with a smile on his face, and the Hardcore title belt draped over his shoulder. Carl Brutanandilewski came up to him with a microphone in hand.

“Tommy Vercetti,” Carl asked, “. . .you have just been named the number one seed for the March Majesty Tournament. Do you feel you have an advantage going into the tournament next week?”

“You bet your ass I’ve got an advantage!” Tommy said. “As far as I’m concerned, I’m a shoe-in to win the whole thing! Scorpion’s barely been competing, and so has Hotsuma, hell, Spike Spiegel’s only just coming back from facial injuries! Meanwhile on the other side, the Super Mario Syndicate is one more meltdown away from folding, and Luigi’s right in the middle of it. I know all of Solid Snake’s tricks of the trade from the experience I gained from fighting against him before. Rolf is a solid competitor, but he’s young. His time will come, just not this year. And then there’s Tai Kamiya. He’s a great athlete, and a phenomenal performer, but his glory days came in the late nineties, and last I checked, this is the year 2012. And plus, he’s too wrapped up in his wife to even be able to focus on preparing for the tournament---“

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tai said, as he and Sora came up to Tommy’s side! Tommy turned to his left, hesitating to answer back.

“Woah, woah, woah, Tai. Don’t take it personal!” Tommy said. “You’re just. . .uhhh. . .so concerned for her, that you bring her to ringside all the time for your matches! No one’s gonna bite you backstage, honey!”

“I come out with Tai to the ring in support of him!” Sora replied.

“You obviously don’t know love when you see it.” Tai said. “Hell, you probably can’t even feel it because you’re a psychopath! And as far as my glory days being well behind me, Sora and I are on our way out right now for our six-man tag match. You watch me in the ring tonight, and I’ll show you that my glory days are well on their way. See you in the ring, PARTNER!”

Tai and Sora strode away from Tommy hand-in-hand, while Tommy stared them down, scoffing.

“Freakin’ lovebirds.” Tommy said to himself. “Their love will make them lose sight of everything one of these days.”

After a commercial break, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is a six-man tag team match scheduled for one fall, and it is your XCW Main Event for the evening!!!”

"Unstable" by Adema plays as Scorpion strode down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .from the Earthrealm. . .SCORPION!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, after Tommy Vercetti practically guaranteed his victory in the March Majesty Tournament!” Early said.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t agree with that either, Early!” Shake agreed. “Just dismissing each man in the field for their one flaw is more than a little premature.”

“Tank!” by The Seatbelts plays as Spike Spiegel strides down the ramp with a lit cigarette in his mouth to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“And his partner. . .from Planet Mars. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!”

“Spike Spiegel, the former Hardcore Champion, is looking to reinstate himself as one of the main players here since returning from XCW after recovering from facial injuries.” said Early, as Spike climbed up the steel steps and flicked the cigarette butt against the barricade as he entered the ring.

“Winning the March Majesty tournament would do just that!” said Shake.

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band plays, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage raising a peace sign to boos from the crowd, and the Television title belt above his head, towards the ring.

“And their tag team partner. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”

“At this point, Luigi has to be the savior for the Super Mario Syndicate!” Early said.

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “Unless Mario can reconcile with the rest of the Syndicate, and regain momentum going into the triple threat World title match at March Majesty, the Syndicate will be ancient history.”

X-Pac's DX theme plays as Rolf stepped onto the stage to cheers from the crowd!

“And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .representing D-Generation-Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .ROLF!!!”

Rolf does the DX crotch chop three times, with pyro going off in unison to it each time.

“Rolf’s only had one match since joining XCW, but with the XCW Tag Team Champions as allies, anything is possible!” Early said.

Rolf runs down the ramp and leaps onto the ring apron, then a top turnbuckle, posing toward the fans.

“You got that right!” Shake said. “Rolf’s a young wrestler with a bright future ahead of him! Winning the March Majesty tournament would guarantee superstardom for this kid!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage plays as Tai and Sora run onto the stage and down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“And his partner. . .being accompanied to the ring by Sora Takenouchi. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

“Tai and his wife, Sora, achieved instant success at the beginning of their careers in WWE, and their careers in XCW as well, being our first Television and Women’s Champions!” Shake informed.

Tai slides into the ring and poses on two turnbuckles to the fans.

“Despite that, they’ve ran into a smidge of bad luck recently, just like they did at the end of their run in WWE.” said Early. “Winning the tournament would propel Tai back in the right direction, the main event scene here in XCW, and become one of the best comeback stories in all of fictional wrestling!”

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky plays as a Banshee sports car makes its way down the ramp, stopping at the foot of the ramp. 

“And their tag team partner. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

“Tommy Vercetti was awarded the number one seed in the tournament, and quite frankly, I can’t think of anyone else more deserving! He’s been on a roll as of late!” said Shake.

Tommy Vercetti gets out of the car and enters the ring to cheers from the crowd. He raises the Hardcore title belt above his head toward the fans, while everyone else involved in the match appears focused and ready.

“You’re right about that, Shake!” Early said. “In the ring, Tommy has proven himself to be a fierce competitor with a drive to do whatever it takes to win! But he is one of these six men in this match right now that will have to do just that to make history and be crowned XCW’s first Majesty of March!”

The bell rings and the match begins with Tai facing off against Scorpion. Tai and Scorpion lock eyes as they pace around the ring before getting into a tie-up. Scorpion puts Tai in a waist-lock and lifts him up for a German suplex but Tai falls out of it and kicks Scorpion in the back. Scorpion sells his back in pain as he faces Tai, who takes him down with a fireman’s carry. Tai goes for the cover 1. . .Scorpion kicks out! Tai picks Scorpion up, pulls him back into the middle of the ring and goes for a side headlock takedown but Scorpion pushes Tai toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Scorpion takes down Tai with Flying Headscissors! Scorpion goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicks out!

Scorpion picks Tai up by the hair and pulls him toward his corner, tagging in Spike Spiegel. Spike and Scorpion stomp a mudhole into Tai until Tai falls to a seated position in the corner. Spike picks Tai up and takes him down with a snapmare. Spike then pulls up Tai and lifts him up for a Suplex, but Tai counters out of it, and takes Spike down with three consecutive German Suplexes. Now both men lay down in the center of the ring as Tai crawls to his corner!

“What technical skill from the former Extreme Team member!” Early said excitedly.

Tai inches closer to his corner and successfully tags in Rolf! Rolf jumps onto the top rope and lands a diving crossbody onto Spike! Rolf goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicks out! Rolf sizes Spike up and takes him down with a monkey flip! Rolf runs toward Spike for a running judo kick to the face but Spike catches Rolf and takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Spike goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicks out!

Spike pulls himself up using the ropes while Rolf staggers up to his feet. Spike puts Rolf into a Full Nelson lock and drags him back to the center of the ring. . .but Rolf kicks Spike in the leg, breaking the hold! Rolf then takes Spike down with a DDT! Rolf darts back up to his feet and runs toward the ropes. He jumps off them going for a springboard moonsault, but Spike raises his knees, sending Rolf’s sternum to collide into them! As Rolf sells his midsection in pain, Spike takes Rolf down with a Full Nelson Slam! Spike falls to the mat in exhaustion, and both men crawl toward their corners! Luigi and Tommy Vercetti slap their hands repeatedly on their respective corners in anticipation!

“Both men are down, with the number one seed and the Television champion anxious to get in the ring!” called Early.

Rolf and Spike successfully make the tags to Tommy and Luigi! They charge at each other and Tommy takes Luigi down with a clothesline! Luigi stumbles up to his feet and Tommy takes him down with another clothesline! Tommy charges at Luigi with another clothesline, but Luigi counters it into a Jawbreaker! Luigi raises a peace sign at the crowd, who boo back at him. Luigi lifts Tommy up and takes him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex! Luigi goes for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicks out! 

Luigi runs against the ropes, jumping over Tommy, and bounces off the ropes on the other side. Luigi goes for a swinging neckbreaker but Tommy instead lands a Lou Thesz Press onto Luigi! Tommy then hammers away at Luigi’s face with a fury of right and left hands! Tommy gets off Luigi and yells random obscenities in intensity! Tommy charges at Luigi, who staggers up to his feet. Tommy then takes Luigi down with a Standing Spinebuster! 

The crowd now in a frenzy, Tommy taunts for Luigi to get up! However, from out of nowhere, Scorpion takes him down with The Fatality! Rolf runs into the ring and clocks Scorpion with the Clothesline From The Old Country!

“PANDEMONIUM HAS BROKEN OUT IN THE RING!” screamed Early, as Rolf gave Scorpion the DX crotch chop but was immediately hit in the face with Real Folk Blues from Spike!

“These six men making a statement to each other that they want to be the Majesty of March!” Early said, as Spike slammed his right foot down on the mat three times, taunting for Tommy to get up. 

While Tommy staggers up, Tai jumps from the top turnbuckle and lands a Hurricanrana onto Spike! Tai turns around and Luigi immediately takes him down with the Gory Bob-Omb! Luigi taunts Tai as he rolls out of the ring, completely unaware that Tommy is standing right behind him! Tommy lifts Luigi up and takes him down with the Vercetti Driver! Tommy goes for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Tommy Vercetti stood up and yells “WOOO!” in celebration as the bell rang! 

“Here are your winners. . .the team of ROLF, TAI KAMIYA AND TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

The referee raises Tommy’s arm in victory as Tai, Rolf, Spike, and Scorpion stare him down from ringside.

“Tommy getting the last laugh in the end tonight!” Early said. “But will the Harwood Butcher get the last laugh when it’s all said and done, and be crowned XCW’s first ever Majesty of March???”

Tommy stands on a top turnbuckle, raising the Hardcore title belt above his head and yelling in celebration as Massacre goes off the air!

And so concludes another edition of Monday Night Massacre. Let me know if there's something that doesn't make sense, and how I need to improve my promo writing. Part two will be coming soon, in the meantime, RATE/REVIEW!!!

Results

Solid Snake defeats Daffy Duck (advances to March Majesty Tournament)  
Nazz defeats Daisy  
D-Generation-Ed (Ed & Edd) defeats the Super Mario Syndicate (Mario & Wario)  
Hotsuma defeats Jak (advances to March Majesty Tournament)  
Tommy Vercetti, Tai Kamiya and Rolf defeated Luigi, Spike Spiegel and Scorpion


	13. XCW Massacre: March Week 4

Hey fans! Here’s another chapter of XCW Monday Night Massacre, that will be the go-home edition to March Majesty. I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“We are just 6 days away from going to Central City, Missouri for the March Majesty pay-per-view, where we will crown our first-ever Majesty of March, and bear witness to much more! What will happen as the quarterfinals of the March Majesty Tournament kick off tonight on Monday Night Massacre??? Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight we are live at The Citadel, we’ve got a full slate of action with huge implications for March Majesty this Sunday!”

“You got that right!” Shake added. “Not only do the quarterfinals of the March Majesty Tournament begin tonight, but we also have a blockbuster main event tonight! In a six-man tag team match, Bugs Bunny will team up with the tag champions, D-Generation-Ed, to take on Garfield and Ren & Stimpy! It’s gonna be one hell of a night!”

Early responded, “One hell of a night, indeed, Shake, as we start off with our first March Majesty Quarterfinal match!”

Plankton stands in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is a March Majesty Quarterfinal match scheduled for one fall!”

“Tank!” by The Seatbelts plays as Spike Spiegel strides down the ramp with a lit cigarette in his mouth.

“Introducing first. . .from Planet Mars. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!” (Crowd Cheers/Boos)

“Spike Spiegel earned his way into the tournament by defeating a former rival in anime, Vash The Stampede in a qualifying match at Doomsday.” Early said. 

Spike climbs up the steel steps and flicks the cigarette butt against the barricade as he enters the ring.

Shake added to it, “The former Hardcore Champion looking to regain his ground after returning from injury!”

X-Pac's DX theme plays as Rolf steps onto the stage!

“And his opponent. . .representing D-Generation-Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .The Son of a Shepherd. . .ROLF!!!” (Crowd Cheers)

Rolf does the DX crotch chop three times, with pyro going off in unison to it each time.

“Rolf earned his way into the tournament in his debut match here in XCW, defeating Wario from the near-defunct Super Mario Syndicate!” said Early.

Rolf runs down the ramp and leaps onto the ring apron, then a top turnbuckle, posing toward the fans.

Shake responded, “This kid can bring even more good fortune and momentum to D-Generation-Ed before they put their tag titles on the line in a tables match at March Majesty!”

The bell rang and the match began with Rolf and Spike pacing around the ring in a staredown. They got into a tie-up, which Spike turned into a front facelock, until Rolf slid between Spike’s legs and swept them out from under him, sending Spike to fall face-first onto the mat! Rolf went to put Spike in an Indian Deathlock but Spike rolled back-first onto the mat and kicked Rolf in the face, sending him back into the corner. Spike stood up and landed a right hand to Rolf’s face! Spike continued to nail Rolf in the face with right hand after right hand until Rolf grabbed Spike by the sides and threw him into the corner! Rolf hit Spike across the chest with chop after chop! Rolf then took Spike down with a monkey flip! Rolf went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out!

Rolf brought Spike up to his feet and hit him with a few more chops to the midsection. Rolf went for a Tornado DDT but Spike countered it into an Alabama Slam! Spike went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out! Spike picked Rolf up and put him in position for a powerbomb. Spike picked him up above his shoulders but Rolf countered out of it, and took Spike down with a neckbreaker! Rolf went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out! Rolf then locked Spike into a Mexican Surfboard submission hold! Spike screamed in pain as the referee asked him if he wanted to quit. Spike shook his head no and managed to roll out of the hold, under the bottom rope and onto the ringside floor! As Spike struggled up to his feet, Rolf bounced against the ropes and hit him with a baseball slide, sending Spike to hit the front of the announce table as the referee began the ten count! Rolf jumped onto the ropes closest to ringside and landed a diving crossbody on Spike, taking him back down to the ringside floor!

“Rolf gaining the quick momentum on Spike in the opening match of the March Majesty Tournament!”, Early observed.

Rolf picked Spike up by the hair and went for a right hand but Spike blocked it, and hit Rolf with a right hand of his own! Spike got up to his feet and Irish whipped Rolf against the steel steps, with Rolf colliding into them with a sickening thud! Spike loomed over Rolf and hit him in the midsection with a few angry stomps before throwing him back into the ring, under the bottom rope. Spike hit Rolf in the face with an elbow before sliding back into the ring and going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!

Shaking his head back to reality, Rolf got up to his knees only for Spike to land a kick to his midsection! Rolf rolled onto his back in pain, and Spike took advantage by landing a falling elbow to his sternum! Spike went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out! Spike looked down at Rolf in disbelief! Spike pulled Rolf up to his feet but Rolf out of nowhere landed a chop to Spike’s midsection! Rolf continued to land chop after chop onto Spike until he was up against the ropes. Rolf then Irish whipped Spike against the ropes on the other side of the ring. On the bounceback, Rolf successfully landed a Hurricanrana pin attempt! 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out! Both men struggled to get up to their feet as the referee began the ten count!

Early announced, “Momentum is now even between both men! Who will be the first to advance in the March Majesty Tournament?”

Rolf was the first to get up to his feet as he pulled himself up to the ropes. Rolf bounced off the ropes behind him, going for the Clothesline From The Old Country but Spike dodged it, sending Rolf towards the corner. Rolf, however, leaps onto the top of the corner turnbuckle! Rolf sized Spike up and jumped off the top rope only to met with Real Folk Blues!!!

“OOOHHH MY GOD!!” Shake exclaimed!

Early remarked in surprise, “Real Folk Blues from Spike! That about took Rolf’s head off!”

Spike went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! (Bell rings)

Early announced, “And Spike advances into the semifinals!”

Spike stood back up and taunted the crowd by pointing at them with his hand like a gun. 

“Here is your winner. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

Spike pretended to shoot and said “Bang!” as the referee raised Spike’s arm in victory!

“A valiant effort from this young rookie, Rolf, but in the end, Spike Spiegel advances to the semi-finals of the 2012 March Majesty Tournament, where he will face the winner of the match between Tai Kamiya and Solid Snake!” Early said.

Shake added, “Good start to the tournament! What else will we see tonight?”

(Backstage)

Ren and Stimpy sat in their locker room, scheming.

“Prepared for our table match this Sunday, Stimpy?” Ren inquired.

“You bet, Ren!” Stimpy responded. “I got the tables specially made of Log, like you said! Everything’s tied up on the station wagon, ready for the ride to Central City!”

“Excellent. . .” Ren said, until his cell phone suddenly rang. He picked it up and answered it.

“Yeah?” Ren said, pausing to hear the voice on the other end. After a few seconds, Ren’s face lights up in excitement.

“You want to do what?” Silence filled the room again.

“Great! See you tonight!” Ren said before hanging up the phone and looking back up at Stimpy.

“Great news, Stimpson! Our manager is on his way here to accompany us to the ring for the main event tonight!”

Stimpy squealed in excitement. “Oh joy! I can’t wait! And to think I thought about bringing Log or Gritty Kitty out to the ring with us to March Majesty in case we failed.”

“Put your toys away, Stimpy!” Ren said assuredly. “We’re well on our way to regaining the Tag titles! D-Ed won’t know what hit them.”

(Commercial Break)

Claude Speed landed a punch combo to a giant punching bag that hung from the ceiling of a small hideout.

“Deadpool. . .you and I have a lot in common.”

In a bar, Claude played darts with Niko Bellic (from GTA IV). Claude threw a dart toward the dartboard, and it successfully hit the bullseye target, which had a photo of Deadpool in its place.

“We’re both good at killing people. We’re both wanted men. We’re both masters of the Hardcore division.”

Claude nailed the giant punching bag in his hideout with a punch combo, this time with a set of brass knuckles on each fist.

“Now I’ve never been featured in a movie, but after seeing Barakapool, I don’t know if I want to be.”

Claude filled the back seat of a four door sedan full of various weapons, such as tire irons, frying pans, steel chairs, 2x4s, baseball bats, palettes, and street signs, some of which had the poles still attached to them!

“This Saturday, though, Deadpool, we’re gonna make our own movie. I doubt we’ll be able to sell it, though, because it’s gonna be so violent, it can’t be rated.”

Claude repeatedly hit the giant punching bag in his hideout with a baseball bat until the stuffing in the bag flew out, and it ultimately fell off the ceiling!

“I know how you felt when I made you wait, Deadpool!”

Claude slammed the back driver’s side door of the sedan and looked into the camera.

“I can’t wait any longer, either!”

Claude got into the front driver’s side of his car and started it before a montage of all the backstage attacks between Claude and Deadpool played out.

"After the Royal Rumble, XCW’s Claude Speed squares off against the WWE Animated Hardcore Champion, Deadpool in a Falls Count Anywhere match!"

“Business will pick up when those two finally collide!” Shake announced.

"WWE Saturday Night Animated! Check your local listings."

(Ring)

“The following contest is a March Majesty Quarterfinal match scheduled for one fall!”

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as Tommy Vercetti rode down the ramp on a Faggio dirtbike, until it came to a stop at the foot of the ramp.

“Introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!” (Crowd Cheers)

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre about to see Claude Speed’s partner in crime, Tommy Vercetti in action. He’s riding out here now to prove that he outright deserved to be named the number one seed in the tournament!” Early said.

Tommy Vercetti got off the bike and entered the ring. He raised the Hardcore title belt above his head toward the fans.

“If you ask me, he doesn’t have to prove anything more!” Shake replied. “Tommy’s been on his winning ways since winning the Hardcore Championship at Doomsday, and despite losing, he went bell-to-bell with the monster Garfield!”

"Unstable" by Adema played as Scorpion strode down the ramp toward the ring.

“And his opponent. . .from the Earthrealm. . .SCORPION!!!”

Scorpion strode down the ramp towards the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“Scorpion earned his way into the March Majesty Tournament by defeating his own tag team partner, Sub-Zero in a qualifying match!” Early said, informing the audience.

“It was a hard fought match,” Shake added, “But to defeat Tommy tonight, he’ll have to fight even harder.”

The bell rang and the match began with Tommy and Scorpion trading right hands in the middle of the ring. Tommy gained the advantage by hitting Scorpion with a surprise left hand, knocking him down. Tommy grabbed Scorpion by the head and pulled him up to a seated position, and continued to hammer away at his face with his other hand, with a final punch knocking his head back down to the mat! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Scorpion kicked out! Tommy pulled Scorpion up to his feet and nailed him right between the eyes with another right hand before taking him back down with a neckbreaker! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Scorpion kicked out!

Tommy picked Scorpion up and tried to throw him face-first into the corner, but Scorpion countered it into an Irish whip, sending Tommy into the corner instead! Scorpion ran toward the corner and hit Tommy with a multitude of shoulder thrusts until Tommy fell into a seated position. Scorpion then backed up to the opposite corner and ran towards Tommy, successfully nailing him with a running dropkick in the corner! Scorpion went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!   
“Scorpion now with the upper hand against the Harwood Butcher! Will we see a major upset here?” Early said.

Scorpion picked Tommy up to his feet, put him into a waist-lock and took him down with two consecutive German suplexes! Scorpion lifted him up for a third but Tommy fell out of it, only for Scorpion to kick him in the midsection and take him down with a DDT! Scorpion went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! Scorpion then locked Tommy in the Camel Clutch! Tommy writhed in pain as Scorpion intensified the hold in the center of the ring. The referee knelt to face Tommy and asked him if he wanted to quit. Tommy yelled “NO!” as he tried to worm his way out of the hold but to no avail. Tommy screamed in agonizing pain until he managed to somehow roll out of the hold, breaking it! Scorpion sized up Tommy, who was staggering up to his feet. Scorpion went for the Fatality but Tommy caught him in mid air and countered it into a Standing Spinebuster! Tommy went in for the cover 1. . .2. . .Scorpion kicked out! Both men were down in the center of the ring, staggering up to their feet! 

“Another hard-fought contest! Who will advance?” Early questioned.

Tommy and Scorpion managed to crawl to ring ropes opposite each other and pull themselves up to their feet. They charged at each other, with Scorpion again going for the Fatality but Tommy countered it into a Suplex! Tommy got back up and sized up Scorpion as he staggered to his feet. Tommy charged at him and successfully landed a Lou Thesz Press onto Scorpion, and proceeded to hammer away at Scorpion’s face with thunderous right and left hands! Tommy got off Scorpion and yelled obscenities (a la Stone Cold) in intensity! Tommy came up next to Scorpion and taunted for him to get up. Scorpion staggered up to his feet and Tommy tied him up, lifted him over his head. . .and successfully took him down with the Vercetti Driver!!! Tommy goes for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

The bell rang and Tommy Vercetti stood up, raising a fist above his head in celebration as the crowd exploded into cheers!

“And Tommy Vercetti gets the victory!” exclaimed Early.

“Here is your winner. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

The referee gave Tommy the Hardcore title belt and raised his arm up in victory! 

“It was a back and forth contest, but in the end, Tommy Vercetti emerged victorious!” said Shake.

Tommy then rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope and walked up the ramp, looking around at the crowd, yelling and pointing at himself in celebration until he walked through the entranceway to the backstage area.

“You’re absolutely right, Shake!”, said Early. “We’ll find out who Tommy will face in the semifinals later in the night when the Television Champion, Luigi, squares off against Hotsuma!”

(Backstage)

Tommy continued to walk down the hallway until Carl Brutanandilewski came up to him with a microphone in hand.

“Congratulations on the victory, Tommy!” said Carl. “Now that you’ve advanced to the semifinals, do you stand by your comments about the field that you made last week?”

Trying to catch his breath, Tommy responded, “Well, I’m not gonna lie: I underestimated Scorpion. He put up a hell of a fight, and will definitely be one to watch in the future. And the rest of the guys in this tournament will put up as big a fight as he did, if not bigger. But out there just now I showed everyone, the fans, XCW officials, and the rest of the wrestlers here in the back why I deserved to be named the number one seed. And it doesn’t matter if I face Tai Kamiya, Spike Spiegel or even Solid Snake again. For the rest of this tournament, my opponents are gonna put up a big fight. . .but mine will be even bigger. . .until you all see me sitting at the throne being crowned Majesty of March, and winning my shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!”

Tommy turned to face Carl.

“Now if you’ll excuse me. . .” Tommy said, “. . .I have a plane to catch.”

Tommy strode away from Carl, who stared at Tommy in fear before looking back into the camera.

“Tommy Vercetti eager to get to Central City, the site of March Majesty! Up next we’ll have the two-on-seven matchup, as Tai Kamiya will square off against Solid Snake! And that match will come right after this!”

(Commercial Break)

“The following contest is a March Majesty Quarterfinal match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Sora Takenouchi. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played as Tai and Sora ran onto the stage and down the ramp.

“We’re back live on Monday Night Massacre, where we are about to see Tai Kamiya, at the number two seed, compete against Solid Snake, the seven seed in the March Majesty Tournament!” Early said.

The crowd cheered as Tai and Sora slid into the ring, with Tai posing on two opposite turnbuckles toward the fans.

“I tell you, for someone who had a string of bad luck last month, Tai Kamiya has a lot to be excited about right now!” Shake said. “Not only is he in the March Majesty Tournament, but he also is in the Superstar Spotlight of the debut edition of Fiction Wrestling Magazine, where in an exclusive interview, he will tell all about his career, being in the March Majesty tournament, and even other XCW superstars!”

Tai and Sora briefly kissed each other before Sora left the ring.

“Tai Kamiya out to prove tonight that his career is only just beginning!” informed Early. “But first he has to defeat this man!”

"Amerika" by Rammstein played as Solid Snake stepped down the ramp towards the ring.

“And his opponent. . .from the United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

The crowd gave a mixed reaction to Snake, who glared around at the audience members before finally staring Tai down.

“Snake entered the March Majesty tournament after defeating Daffy Duck in a Second Chance match, with help from the almost-defunct Super Mario Syndicate!” Early said.

“Yeah, there are a lot of people out there who believe for that reason, Snake doesn’t belong in this tournament. He is a two-time Hardcore Champion, and a fierce competitor in this ring! Tonight, he’s out to prove that he deserves to be in this tournament, just like his opponent here tonight!” Shake said.

The bell rang and the match began with Tai and Snake in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Tai put Snake into a waist-lock and elbowed him to the back of the head! Tai then leapt in the air and went for a quick hurricanrana pin attempt! 1. . .Snake kicked out! Tai charged at Snake again and got into a tie-up but Snake managed to shove him down to the mat but Tai got right back up into a fighting stance, his fists clenched!

“Snake underestimating the speed of Tai early on in this contest!” Early commented.

Snake and Tai got into another tie-up in the center of the ring. Tai went to lock Snake into a waist-lock but Snake caught him and locked him in a waist-lock of his own, and took him down with a belly-to-back side slam! Snake went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! Snake, however, hit Tai in the face with a right hand! Snake pulled Tai’s head up by the hair and punched him again with right hand after right hand, and grinded his elbow against his neck! Snake went for a cover again 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! 

Snake picked Tai up by the hair and Irish whipped him face-first into the corner. Snake then grabbed Tai by the tights and threw him shoulder-first into the ring post behind the corner! Tai struggled to pull himself out of the corner and turned around only for Snake to land him back first into the corner with a thunderous clothesline! Snake then hit Tai in the chest repeatedly with thunderous chop after chop, until Tai fell into a seated position in the corner. Snake then pressed his knee up against Tai’s face up against the middle turnbuckle, choking him! Tai coughed and gasped for air and tried to fight out of the corner but to no avail, until the referee’s five count made it to four. Snake let go, drug Tai to the center of the ring and went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

TAI KICKED OUT! Snake looked down at him in disbelief!

“After all that, and Snake couldn’t put Tai away!” Shake commented.

Angered, Snake picked Tai up to his feet with authority and slammed him back down to the mat with a Scoop Slam! Tai sat back up as Snake ran against the ropes behind him, only to be taken back down with a dropkick to the lower back! Snake went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! Snake stood up and glared at Tai angrily as he did a brief cut throat taunt!

“Snake’s about had enough of Tai! And he’s looking to finish it all right here!”

Snake sized Tai up as he struggled to get up to his knees. Snake put him in position for a powerbomb. He lifted Tai up for a Texas Piledriver. . .until Tai countered it into a back body drop! Snake shot back up to his feet only for Tai to slap him in the chest with furious chop after chop until Snake is backed up against the ropes. Tai then landed an uppercut to Snake’s jaw and took him down with a springboard bulldog! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out! Tai ran against the ropes, and Snake missed a clothesline toward him on the bounceback. Tai caught Snake in a waist-lock and took him down with three consecutive German suplexes!

“Tai with a trifecta of German suplexes! Snake’s back has to be done for!” cried Early, as Tai went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

SNAKE KICKED OUT!!! Tai couldn’t believe it!

Tai sold his abdomen in pain as he struggled to get up to his feet. He screamed for Snake to get up, with Sora by the ring apron looking on in concern. Snake staggered up to his feet, and Tai attempted a Frankensteiner, but Snake caught him and locked him into the Sleeper Hold! Snake brought Tai to the center of the ring and applied more pressure to Tai’s head and neck! Tai waves his arms around and tried to elbow Snake, attempting to fight out of the hold but to no avail. The referee asked Tai if he wanted to quit but he shook his head no. Tai’s body started to go limp, and Snake brought Tai down closer to the ground while keeping his grip on the hold! 

The referee raised Tai’s arm up and dropped it, letting it fall limply to his sides. 

After counting one, the referee raised Tai’s arm up again, and let it fall back to his side. 

The referee counted one, and picked up Tai’s arm one more time. . .

. . .and Tai furiously elbowed Snake in the face! Tai continued to fight out of the hold with every elbow to the chest and face of Snake, who pulled Tai back up with his grip still on Tai’s neck. Tai kept elbowing and fighting out of the hold until he finally broke free, and countered the sleeper hold into the Crossface! 

“COUNTER INTO THE CROSSFACE! THE CROSSFACE! HE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN!!!”

Snake let out a muffled scream, as Tai’s fists covered his mouth when he applied the submission maneuver! The referee asked Snake if he wanted to quit but Snake shook his head no! He raised his arm up above the mat. . .

. . .extended it out towards the bottom rope. . .

. . .inched closer and closer to it. . .

. . .but had to tap out!!! Tai let go of the hold as the bell rang!

“With all the willpower inside of him, Tai Kamiya advances to the semifinals!” Early yelled, as the crowd erupted into cheers!

“Here is your winner. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

The referee raised Tai’s arm in victory as Sora slid into the ring and met Tai into a passionate embrace! 

Early exclaimed, “Tai’s comeback is well underway, as he joins Spike Spiegel and Tommy Vercetti in the semifinals of the March Majesty tournament!”

Tai and Sora stand on opposing turnbuckles, posing toward the fans in celebration!

Shake added, “What an effort not just by Tai, but Snake as well! Spike Spiegel will have to be more than ready to face Tai at the March Majesty pay-per-view! He’s high on excitement, with success and glory well in his grasp!”

A silhouetted figure knelt in a corner of the ring.

"He is a former UCW and CWF superstar. . ."

A brief montage of shots featured the figure landing a diamond cutter on a jobber, the same figure tackling a jobber, and the figure slapping a jobber repeatedly with furious chops.

"A multiple-time Tag Team Champion. . ."

A brief montage of shots featured two silhouetted figures performing various double team moves on various jobbers.

". . .And a man who can make anyone tap out in thousands of ways. He is. . ."

The figure held a figure-four leg lock submission hold on a jobber.

". . .The Submission Specialist, Kyle Broflovski."  
.  
The lights go up in the ring to reveal Kyle Broflovski standing in the middle of it.

Kyle stated, “What would Brian Boitano do? What I’m gonna do: Kick your ass!” 

(Backstage)

Jon Arbuckle sat at the giant desk in his office with his cell phone up to his ear.

“Uh-huh. . .so you’ll be here next Monday?” Jon asked, as someone knocked on the door from the outside. “Come in!” Jon yelled, covering the receiver of his phone as Mario opened the door and strode up to the other side of Jon’s desk. Jon put the phone back up to his ear.

“Great! See you four then.” Jon hung up the phone and faced Mario.

“What do you want?” Jon asked Mario, irritated.

“I’ll tell you what I want!” Mario demanded. “All I’ve heard from everyone for the entire month is that I’m a dead man walking going into March Majesty! Well I’m tired of hiding in my locker room like a Boo ghost I’m not looking at! I want Garfield, and I want him tonight!”

Jon Arbuckle stared Mario down angrily.

“You want Garfield?” Jon asked. “You want to go toe-to-toe with the beast before March Majesty, and state your case of being the XCW World Champion, and a champion of life? You got it! And you’re gonna state your cases to your rival, Bugs Bunny too! Because you’re on his team tonight! Making our main event a four-on-three handicap match!”

Mario nodded in satisfaction before making his way to the door.

“By the way. . .” Jon said, writing something down on his desk. Mario stopped and looked at Jon from the doorway.

“I hope you remember the major rules of the triple threat match you three are in this Sunday. One fall to a finish. . .and how could I forget. . .no countout, NO DISQUALIFICATION!”

Mario just stood in the doorway, glaring at Jon.

Back in the ring, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone.

“The following contest is a March Majesty Quarterfinal match scheduled for one fall!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage raising a peace sign and the Television title belt above his head, toward the ring.

“Introducing first. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”

The crowd heavily booed Luigi as he strode down the ramp.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, where our main event tonight has taken an interesting turn, Shake!” Early announced.

“You got that right!” Shake responded. “Not only will Mario be able to find a strategy in facing Garfield for this Sunday, but he does so as Bugs Bunny’s tag team partner tonight! The only question now is, will Bugs and Mario be able to coexist as a team?”

“We’ll find that out later tonight, Shake!” Early said. “In the meantime, Mario’s brother, Luigi, will be going one-on-one in the last of our March Majesty quarterfinal matches against. . .this man!”

"Red Lottery" by Megasus played as the arena becomes engulfed in red light.

“And his opponent. . .from Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!!!”

The crowd gave Hotsuma a mixed reaction as he walked on the stage and down the ramp, looking at nothing but the ring.

“Hotsuma earned his spot in the March Majesty tournament last week by defeating Jak in a qualifying match, and vowed to ‘hold nothing back’ in every match of this tournament.” Early said.

Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stood on the middle rope in a corner, glaring at the fans.

Shake added, “And promised to do the same thing to the XCW roster if he is left off the card again! I wouldn’t dare to cross Hotsuma; his presence is intimidating enough in the ring!”

The bell rang and the match began with Luigi and Hotsuma in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Hotsuma put Luigi in a headlock and kneed him in the gut repeatedly before Irish whipping him into a corner. Hotsuma stomped to the corner and repeatedly slapped him in the chest with furious chop after chop until Luigi fell into a seated position. Hotsuma stepped to the opposite corner and ran toward Luigi, going for a punt to his head. . .but Luigi rolls out of the way, and Hotsuma’s foot hit the middle rope instead! Hotsuma sold his foot in pain until Luigi bounced off the ropes and hit a crossbody pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out!

Luigi picked Hotsuma up to his feet and hit him in the chest repeatedly with chops of his own, backing him up against the ropes. Luigi then Irish whipped Hotsuma toward the ropes on the other side of the ring. On the bounceback, Luigi tripped up Hotsuma with a knee to the midsection! Luigi went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out! Luigi then picked Hotsuma up and took him down with a side headlock takedown! Luigi wrenched the headlock onto Hotsuma until he grabbed onto the ropes with a free hand. Luigi got up and stomped on Hotsuma’s chest before dragging him to the center of the ring and going for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out!

“Luigi picking apart Hotsuma’s torso little by little!” remarked Early.

Luigi brought Hotsuma back to his feet and took him back down with a Scoop Slam! Luigi then ran against the ropes and landed a falling elbow onto his sternum! Luigi then locked Hotsuma in the Boston Crab! 

“And now Luigi, looking to put Hotsuma away with the Boston Crab!”

Hotsuma writhed in pain as he wormed closer to the bottom rope! The referee asked Hotsuma if he wanted to quit but Hotsuma fought his way closer and closer to the ropes! Hotsuma extended his hand out. . .reached for the ropes. . .and successfully grabbed onto the bottom rope with his hand, forcing Luigi to break the hold! Luigi grabbed Hotsuma by the legs and pulled him back to the center of the ring, only for Hotsuma to kick Luigi in the face, and send him reeling toward the ropes behind him. Hotsuma gets back up and lands a European uppercut to Luigi, knocking him back against the ropes. As Luigi bounced off, Hotsuma picked him up and took him down with a Powerslam! Both men were down in the center of the ring until Luigi pulled himself up to his feet first with the ropes. Luigi sized Hotsuma up, kicked him in the midsection and went for a Jawbreaker, but Hotsuma countered it into a neckbreaker!

“Hotsuma getting back into this match! Which of these two will face Tommy Vercetti in the semifinals?” Early exclaimed.

Luigi tried to roll out of the ring and made it to the apron only for Hotsuma to pull him up by the overalls, and pull him back into the ring over the middle rope. Hotsuma then took Luigi down with a Hangman’s DDT! Hotsuma went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out! Hotsuma then did the cut throat taunt, and sized Luigi up as he stumbled up to his feet. Once Luigi stood up, Hotsuma went for the Akujiki but Luigi pushed Hotsuma toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Luigi picked Hotsuma up and took him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex! Standing right above Hotsuma, Luigi raised a peace sign up at the crowd, who booed back at him. Luigi then climbed up to the top rope and taunted the crowd again.

“The Super Mario Syndicate may live on another week thanks to Luigi!“ Shake exclaimed until Early exclaimed. . .

“Wait a minute! Daffy Duck from out of nowhere!” 

Daffy Duck ran down the ramp and argued with the referee! Luigi looked on from the top rope in distraction as the referee forced Daffy to return to the back. Daffy stepped back up the ramp, still looking at the ring. Luigi focused back on Hotsuma and went for the Super Mario Splash. . .

. . .only for Hotsuma to take him down with the Akujiki in mid-air! The crowd erupted in excitement!

“OH MY GOD!! THE AKUJIKI!!! HOTSUMA PUTTING THE FINAL DAGGER INTO THE CHEST OF THE SYNDICATE!” yelled Early.

Hotsuma went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

The bell rang as Hotsuma stood up and raised a fist above his head in celebration!

“And Hotsuma is going to the semifinals, in part to the distraction by Daffy Duck!” exclaimed Early, as Plankton grabbed a microphone.

“Here is your winner. . .HOTSUMA!!!”

The crowd gave Hotsuma a mixed reaction as the referee raised his other arm up in victory. 

“Daffy Duck got screwed out of the March Majesty tournament not once, but twice thanks to Luigi!” Early announced. “And Daffy cost Luigi the match tonight in payback!”

From the stage, Daffy looked at Luigi, who lied prone in the middle of the ring, and nodded his head in satisfaction.

“You got that right! Hotsuma advances to face Tommy Vercetti this Sunday at March Majesty. . .while the Super Mario Syndicate suffers another crushing blow.” Shake declared.

(Commercial Break)

(Backstage)

Tai and Sora conversed as they strode down a hallway, dragging luggage behind them.

“As good as Battle Royale was, I don’t even understand why our parents forbade us from watching it back then!” Sora asked Tai.

“I know! It was nowhere near as violent as it was made out to be.” Tai responded as Jon Arbuckle wheeled up to them, the crowd booing upon his presence.

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Kamiya!” Jon said, greeting the couple. “Headed to Central City already?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, we are. What business is it of yours?” Tai asked.

“I’d say it’s plenty of my business seeing that I’m running things around here.” Jon responded. “Anyway, I’m glad I caught you both, because I have a proposition for you. Now, I am aware of your upcoming interview in Fiction Wrestling Magazine, and Destined, the upcoming original story about you both, and I thought of a great way for XCW to capitalize even more on all of your media attention.”

“Sora,” Jon asked, “while Tai’s been making strides in the March Majesty tournament, you have been on the backburner in the Women’s division. So for that reason, I wanted to inform you, Sora that you will be in a Gauntlet match with five other women on the roster to determine the number one contender for the XCW Women’s Championship! And that match will take place next week on Monday Night Massacre!”

Sora’s face lit up in excitement, but quickly became perplexed.

“That sounds great. . .but what’s the catch?” Sora inquired.

Jon smirked at Sora. “Oh, there’s no catch. . .except you’re running the gauntlet!”

“Are you kidding me?” Sora asked, her eyes widening in shock.

“What’s the big idea?” Tai asked angrily. “Is this because she put you in a wheelchair at Doomsday?”

“No, no, no, Tai!” Jon protested. “Sora hasn’t competed with the other women recently, and the best way for her to gain quick experience in the division is to put her first in the Gauntlet match to face everyone!”

Jon turned to face Sora, who crossed her arms in distrust of Jon. 

“Plus, Sora. . .”, Jon added, “. . .if you were to run the gauntlet and win, imagine what that would do not only for you and your husband, but for XCW, Fiction Wrestling Magazine, AND Destined! Sales and ratings for each, and even your stardom will reach unparalleled levels! ”

Sora became deep in thought. “Well. . .it IS for a shot at the title. . .”

“Excellent! I knew you would see it my way.” Jon exclaimed. 

Sora opened her mouth but Jon spoke again before anything could come out. “Good luck to both of you, and I’ll see you on Sunday!” Jon wheeled past Tai and Sora, who looked on at him in distrust.

“Something still doesn’t feel right. . .” Sora said to her husband.

“Yeah. . .he’ll be put in his place really soon, though. I’m sure of it.” Tai said as he and Sora continued to walk ahead.

(Ring)

“The following contest is a six-man tag team match scheduled for one fall, and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event of the evening!”  
All the lights in the arena went off. Suddenly. . .the following words came from the titantron.

"ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Ed, Edd, and Nazz jumped onto the stage from below it, their tag title belts in hand. Raising the title belts above their heads toward the fans, Ed and Edd strode down the ramp with Nazz right behind them.

“Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Nazz. . .from Peach Creek. . .they are the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .Ed and Double D. . .D-GENERATION-ED!!!

Ed and Edd slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, raising their title belts above their heads toward the fans.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, bringing you our main event with HUGE implications for March Majesty!” Early said.

They met in the center of the ring, with Nazz right in front of them, and did the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

“You got that right!” Shake added. “Not only will all three men in the triple threat World title match be in the same ring, but so will both tag teams in the tables match, AND even Nazz and Peach, they’re opponents this Sunday, but tonight they’re at ringside on the same team!”

“What’s Up, Doc?” came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as “Buggin’” by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage and walked down the ramp.

“And their tag team partners. . .introducing first. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“The Looney Tunes have been screwed over time and time again since the inception of XCW, whether it be for a spot in the March Majesty Tournament, or the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!” Shake explained. “Will it be more of the same this Sunday, or will Bugs Bunny finally overcome the odds and take possession of the World Heavyweight Championship?”

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

“The same can be said for Daffy, too, Shake!” Early said. “Because I’ve just received word that at March Majesty, Daffy Duck will face Luigi with the Television Championship on the line! Another huge match added to an already huge card!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario ran onto the stage and down the ramp, with Mario raising his belt above his head toward the fans.

“Being accompanied to the ring by the XCW Women’s Champion, Peach. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. . .MARIO!!!”

“Who knows if Mario and Bugs Bunny will be able to coexist as a team, and find a way to take down the monster Garfield?” Early questioned.

Mario stood on a turnbuckle taunting the fans with the World title belt.

“Not only that. . .” Shake added. “. . .but will Peach and Nazz get along at ringside six nights before their match for the Women’s title? This match is unpredictable now that Mario’s involved!”

"Bad Man" by Jim Johnston plays as Garfield stomps down the ramp, focusing only on the ring.

“And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“We all know that Mario hasn’t been the model champion we all wanted him to be since becoming the first XCW World Heavyweight Champion the night XCW debuted,” Early said, “but tonight he appears more motivated than ever to find a weakness in Garfield and come away from March Majesty with the World title belt still around his waist!”

Garfield steps over all three ropes and stares Mario and Bugs down with a look of anger.  
“You got that right!” Shake added. “But finding a weakness in Garfield is no easy task. Tai took Garfield to his limit at Doomsday but still came up short. With the World title match this Sunday being a triple threat match, all bets are off!”

All the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by "YOU EEEDIOT!" followed by Scott Steiner's TNA music played, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walk onto the stage and turn around to face the entranceway, motioning for someone to come out.

“Since losing the tag team titles to D-Ed at Doomsday, the former tag team champions have been looking for a manager to accompany them to the ring for their tables match this Sunday at March Majesty! It now appears that their quest has ended. . .” said Early, before Plankton made their introduction.

“And their opponents. . .” Plankton announced until a boy familiar to the Eds came out onto the stage and stood in between Ren and Stimpy!

“KEVIN! REN AND STIMPY’S MANAGER THIS SUNDAY WILL BE THE ED’S GREATEST RIVAL!!! Early screamed.

“. . .being accompanied to the ring by Kevin. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .the team of REN AND STIMPY!!!”

The crowd gave Ren and Stimpy a mixed reaction upon Kevin walking down to the ring with them.

“I don’t believe it!” Shake exclaimed. “Ren and Stimpy may have gained the advantage going into Sunday! Kevin knows D-Generation-Ed more than the Eds do themselves!”

Ren and Stimpy posed on opposite turnbuckles, with Kevin pointing at Ren and Stimpy as if to showcase them while staring down Nazz, Ed and Edd.

“This crowd can’t believe it, either, Shake!” Early added. “The former PCUW X Division Champion has joined the XCW roster, and will join Ren and Stimpy at ringside just to stick it to the current XCW Tag Team Champions!”

The bell rang and the match began with Edd facing off against Ren. Edd and Ren got into a tie-up in the center of the ring while suddenly at ringside, Peach tackled Nazz down to the floor and repeatedly slapped and punched her in the face!

“My God! Already chaos has broken out at ringside!” Early exclaimed, as Nazz rolled Peach onto her back and punched her with huge right hands! Mario and Ed pulled Peach and Nazz apart but they broke free and continued to brawl! Ed came face-to-face with Mario and they started to argue until Mario shoved Ed against the ring apron! Ed lowered his eyes in anger and took Mario down with a massive clothesline! 

“Mario learning first-hand to never provoke the Monster with a Monobrow!” Shake exclaimed. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Ren went for an Enziguri kick to the back of Edd’s head but Edd dodged it and pushed Ren against the ropes. Instead of bouncing back, Ren hit Ed with a baseball slide, crashing him against the barricade! Ren exited the ring from under the bottom rope and hit Ed repeatedly with right hand after right hand until from out of nowhere, Edd took Ren down with a springboard hurricanrana! Both men were down at ringside as the referee started the ten count!

Meanwhile, Stimpy ran into the ring charging toward the Eds and Ren but Bugs Bunny entered the ring, grabbed Stimpy and took him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Stimpy rolled out of the ring while Bugs yelled at Edd and Ren, who were now brawling at ringside, to get back into the ring and continue the match. However, Bugs was completely unaware that Garfield had came up and stood right behind him! Bugs turned around and Garfield immediately grabbed him by the throat! He lifted Bugs up for a Chokeslam but suddenly Mario dove from the top rope and took Garfield down with a Flying Clothesline!

“An unlikely assist from Mario to Bugs!” Early exclaimed. “But it will be every man for himself on Sunday!”

Back at ringside, Ed picked Stimpy up and took him down with a fallaway slam, sending Stimpy to land close to the announcer’s table. Ed loomed over Stimpy as he picked him up onto his shoulders. Ed stomped over to in front of the announce table and let out a scream of intensity!

“I’m getting out of here!” Shake exclaimed as he ripped off his headset and ran.

“Will this be the scene Sunday? Will it be Stimpy going through a table?” Early questioned as he moved away from the announce table. Suddenly, Kevin turned the corner and came face-to-face with Ed! Ed dropped Stimpy and came into a staredown with Kevin!

“Kevin has been a thorn in the side of Ed, from the summer days of the Peach Creek cul-de-sac to fighting for the PCUW World Heavyweight Championship! These two men know each other. . .and know each other well!” Early explained.

Suddenly Kevin slapped Ed in the face, knocking him back a bit. Ed went for another massive clothesline but Kevin took Ed down with a Bull Tackle (Spear)!!! Kevin then pulled Ed up to his feet, and Stimpy moved to the other side of the announce table. Kevin and Stimpy then drove Ed through the announce table with the R&S Death Drop!!!

“KEVIN AND STIMPY WITH THE R&S DEATH DROP!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!” Early exclaimed, as Kevin and Stimpy came back to Edd and Ren’s brawl on another side of the ring, leaving Ed lying on the remains of the announce table.

Back in the ring, Garfield, Mario and Bugs staggered up to a standing position, and Garfield grabbed both of them by the throat! Mario and Bugs suddenly hit Garfield in the face with elbow shots, then take him down with a massive Double DDT!!!

“This match may have dissolved, but Bugs and Mario coexisting with the same goal in mind: take Garfield out of the equation!” Early exclaimed. “But will the same thing happen come Sunday?” Will it come down to these two rivals once again, with the XCW Heavweight Championship of the World on the line???”

Mario and Bugs came face-to-face in the center of the ring, staring each other down intensely as Massacre goes off the air!

And so concludes another edition of Monday Night Massacre. Let me know if there's anything that doesn't make sense, and how I need to improve my promo writing. RATE/REVIEW, and make your predictions for the March Majesty pay-per-view, the card for which is below the results for this week’s show!

Results

Spike Spiegel defeated Rolf (advances to March Majesty Semifinals)  
Tommy Vercetti defeated Scorpion (advances to March Majesty Semifinals)  
Tai Kamiya defeated Solid Snake (advances to March Majesty Semifinals)  
Hotsuma defeated Luigi (advances to March Majesty Semifinals)  
Bugs Bunny, Mario and D-Generation Ed and Garfield and Ren & Stimpy fought to a No Contest

March Majesty Card

Tommy Vercetti vs. Hotsuma in a March Majesty Semifinal Match  
Luigi (c) vs. Daffy Duck for the XCW Television Championship  
Tai Kamiya vs. Spike Spiegel in a March Majesty Semifinal Match  
D-Generation Ed (c) vs. Ren & Stimpy (w/Kevin) in a Tables match for the XCW Tag Team Championships  
Peach (c) vs. Nazz for the XCW Women’s Championship  
Tommy Vercetti/Hotsuma vs. Tai Kamiya/Spike Spiegel in the March Majesty Final Match  
Bugs Bunny vs. Mario (c) vs. Garfield in a Triple Threat match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship


	14. XCW March Majesty

And now without further ado, I give you March Majesty! I only own my championships.

AND NOW. . .XCW PRESENTS. . .MARCH MAJESTY!!!

“King of Kings” by Motorhead played as fireworks went off on the stage and titantron in a large arena, where thousands of fans stood cheering in excitement, holding up many signs of different colors.

“Welcome to Central City, Missouri, where history will be made tonight, because Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling will crown its first-ever Majesty of March! Will history be made in the main event tonight as well, when the XCW World Heavyweight Championship is decided in a Triple Threat match? We’ll find out tonight here at March Majesty! Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight Shake, we have a lot of exciting things in store for this capacity crowd!”

“You got that right!” Shake responded. “The Women’s, Television, Tag Team and World titles are on the line, as well as the title of March Majesty! I can’t wait for this night to kick off!”

“Well Shake, you don’t have to wait anymore!” Early exclaimed. “Because we’re starting off with one of our two March Majesty semifinal contests!”

Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is a March Majesty Semifinal match scheduled for one fall!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played as Tai and Sora ran onto the stage and down the ramp.

“Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Sora Takenouchi. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .TAI KAMIYA!"

The crowd cheered as Tai and Sora slid into the ring, with Tai posing on two opposite turnbuckles toward the fans.

“Tai fought his way into the semifinals of this tournament by defeating two former Hardcore Champions!” Early said.

Tai and Sora briefly kissed each other, upon which Sora left the ring and cheered her husband on at ringside.

“And tonight will Tai’s third straight match in this tournament against a former Hardcore Champion!” Shake added. “Rest assured, it won’t be an easy fight!”

"Tank!" by The Seatbelts played as Spike Spiegel strode down the ramp with a lit cigarette in his mouth.

"And his opponent. . .from Planet Mars. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!"

“Two icons of anime will lock up in mere moments to determine who will advance to the final match of the March Majesty tournament!” Early stated.

Spike climbed up the steel steps and flicked the cigarette butt against the barricade as he entered the ring.

“Spike’s coming back from an injury while Tai’s coming back from a long run with futility. Only one of these men will get what they want tonight!”

The bell rang and the match began with Spike and Tai pacing around the ring, staring each other down. They locked up in the center of the ring, with Spike twisting Tai into a wristlock. Spike wrenched a hold onto Tai’s arm before taking him down with a snapmare. Spike then whacked Tai in the chest with a swift kick. Spike quickly went for the cover 1. . .Tai kicked out! Spike picked Tai up only for Tai to shove him off. Tai then slapped Spike in the chest with a furious chop! Tai continued to hit Spike with chop after chop, and then went for a DDT but Spike countered it into a rolling fireman’s carry slam! Spike went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!

Spike picked Tai up and Irish whipped him in the corner. Spike stepped to the opposite corner and charged toward Tai, taking him down to a seated position with a massive clothesline! Spike then stomped a mudhole into Tai in the corner before pulling him back into the center of the ring for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! Spike brought Tai back to his feet but Tai suddenly punched Spike in the face! Tai managed to put Spike in a headlock and take him down with a side headlock takedown, then landed a falling elbow to the face! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out! 

“Tai slowly but surely fighting his way back into this match-up!” Early observed.

Tai sized Spike up as he slowly rose to his feet. Tai put Spike into a waist-lock and took him down with a German suplex! Tai lifted Spike up without letting him go, and went for another German suplex, but Spike elbowed Tai in the face, breaking the grip. Spike kneed Tai in the gut and took him down with a Gutbuster! Spike went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! Spike got up and landed a couple stomps onto Tai’s sternum. Spike went for a third but Tai caught Spike’s foot in time, held it as he stood up to his feet and landed a spinning wheel kick to Spike’s body, knocking him against the ropes. Tai then picked Spike up and took him down with a pendulum backbreaker! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out!

Tai picked Spike up, but Spike immediately raked his eyes. Spike Irish whipped Tai into the corner but once reaching it, Tai leapt onto the top turnbuckle and faced Spike. Tai jumped off the top and successfully landed a Diving Hurricanrana onto Spike! Tai went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . . 

SPIKE KICKED OUT!!!

Tai turned to lie on his back as the referee started the ten count! 

“A hard fought contest between these two men! Who will advance to the finals?” Early wondered.

Tai and Spike staggered up to their feet and traded right hands, with the fans booing when Spike landed a punch, and cheering for Tai when he did. Eventually Tai gained the advantage and was able to land four consecutive right hands, knocking Spike against the ropes! On the bounceback, Tai took Spike down with a swinging neckbreaker, then climbed up to the top rope once more! Tai went for a moonsault but Spike rolled out of the way! Tai sold his abdomen in pain as he struggled up to his feet. Spike, however, pulled him back up and slammed him down to the mat with a Full Nelson Slam! Spike went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TAI KICKED OUT!!! Spike hit the mat with a fist repeatedly in frustration! 

Spike then got up to his feet and stepped over to a corner. Spike stared down Tai and slammed his foot down on the mat repeatedly, while Tai pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes. Spike went for Real Folk Blues but Tai dodged it, causing Spike’s leg to get caught in the ropes. Spike successfully pulled his leg out and faced Tai, who took him down with an Alabama Slam! Tai then pointed at the corner turnbuckle, gasping for breath. Tai climbed up to the top rope and successfully hit Spike with the Tai Dive! Tai went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“AND TAI WINS IT!!!” Early exclaimed.

The bell rang and the crowd cheered as Tai stood up and raised his fists above his head in celebration!

“Here is your winner. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

The referee raised Tai’s arm in victory as Sora slid into the ring.

“A valiant effort from these two men. . .” Early said. “. . .but in the end, Tai Kamiya emerged victorious and will go on to the face the winner of the match between Tommy Vercetti and Hotsuma in the March Majesty finals later on tonight!”

After he and Sora embraced in the middle of the ring, Tai climbed up to a turnbuckle and posed in celebration.

“Tai’s got one match down, and one to go!” Shake exclaimed. “Will he be rested and ready for the finals?”

(Backstage)

In an office, Jon Arbuckle sits at a desk with his phone up to his ear.

“What? You two want a match tomorrow night, too?” Jon said before pausing.

“. . .But there would be no time for this Gauntlet match I booked. . .” Jon paused again, covering his forehead with his free hand.

“Okay. . .I’ll just move the Gauntlet match to next Monday. You guys have your match, but she’s not going to be happy about this.” Jon said.

“Alright! See you then.” As Jon hung up the phone, a referee came into the office and walked up to Jon’s desk.

“What can I do for you?” Jon asked the referee.

“Well. . .sir. . .there’s a problem regarding the tournament now. . .”

“Don’t worry, my hands will steer clear from the finals tonight! As a businessman, it’d be a PR nightmare for the first Majesty of March to wear a tainted crown. And besides, Tai has Hotsuma or Tommy Vercetti to go through! He can’t win two matches in one night!”

“That’s the thing, sir. . .” the referee said in a nervous tone. “Tommy Vercetti isn’t here yet.”

Jon’s eyes widened in anger. “WHAT??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE ISN’T HERE YET??” 

“His locker room is still locked, and there’s no car of his to speak of in the lot!”  
Jon ground his teeth in frustration and let out an annoyed sigh.

“Alright. . .thanks for the heads-up. I’m gonna call him right now and give him a piece of my mind! He BETTER show up for his semifinal match, because if he doesn’t, not only will he face severe consequences. . .but he will forfeit the match tonight, advancing Hotsuma automatically to the finals! In the meantime, SPREAD THE WORD!”

The referee darts out of the office as Jon dials a number on his cell phone.

“Tommy Vercetti isn’t here yet??” Early asked in surprise.

“What’s keeping him?” wondered Shake.

(Commercial Break)

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Championship!”

“Wabbit” by Misshin began to play as Plankton made the introduction.

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from New York City, New York. . .DAFFY DUCK!!!”

The crowd cheered as Daffy Duck ran onto the stage and strode down the ramp.

“We had a feeling we’d see these two lock arms ever since the war between the Super Mario Syndicate and the Looney Tunes began!” Early said. “The rivalry between these two men has culminated in recent weeks with their involvement March Majesty Tournament.”

“Luigi screwed Daffy out of getting into the tournament on not one, but TWO occasions!” Shake added. “While just last week on Monday Night Massacre, Daffy issued payback by distracting Luigi from putting the final dagger into Hotsuma, buying him time to take the Television Champion down with the Akujiki and advance to the semifinals!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage raising a peace sign and the Television title belt above his head, towards the ring.

“And his opponent. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”

The crowd booed as Luigi strode down the ramp.

“Everything between these two sidekicks will come to a head in this match, which will be Luigi’s first title defense since Doomsday!” Early said.

“By the way, why is it called the TV title when it’s really only been defended on pay-per-view? Why don’t we call it the PPV title?” Shake asked, as Daffy entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

“The TV title used to be as prestigious as the Intercontinental title in the mid-90s!” Early informed. “XCW went with it in order to bring relevancy back to the championship! However, that’s since been tainted with Luigi has used underhanded tactics to keep it.”

The bell rang and the match began with Luigi and Daffy brawling in the center of the ring, trading right hands until Luigi surprised him with a left hand, knocking him to the mat. Daffy pushed himself up to his knees but Luigi whacked him in the gut with a kick! Daffy sold his abdomen in pain until Luigi landed an elbow to his midsection! Luigi went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Luigi pulled Daffy up to his feet and landed chops to his chest until he was up against the ropes. Luigi Irish whipped Daffy to the other side of the ring, and on the bounceback, took him down with a back body drop! Luigi went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out!

Luigi picked Daffy up again and went for another chop but Daffy surprised him with a kick to the midsection, then a side headlock takedown! Daffy wrenched the headlock on Luigi and followed it up with elbow shots to the temple. Daffy stood back up and went for a Leg Drop but Luigi rolled out of the ring, avoiding it. Daffy slid out of the ring and caught up to Luigi, and they brawled outside of the ring until Daffy put Luigi in a wristlock and Irish whipped him against the steel steps, ramming into them with a sickening thud as the referee began the ten count! Daffy picked Luigi back up and went to Irish whip him against the ring apron, but Luigi countered it and slammed Daffy’s head against the ring post. Luigi slid Daffy under the bottom rope, with his head resting on the ring apron. Luigi climbed up onto the apron and landed a leg drop onto Daffy’s head! Luigi entered the ring and went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Luigi couldn’t believe it!

“All the damage to the head and torso, yet Daffy’s still going at it!” commented Early.

Luigi pulled Daffy to the center of the ring and went for the Boston Crab submission hold but Daffy countered out of it by kicking Luigi in the gut, knocking him back a bit. Daffy shot back up and took Luigi down with a dropkick! Daffy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out! Daffy pulled Luigi up to his feet and repeatedly slapped him in the chest with furious chops until Luigi fell over the ropes to the ring apron!

“Like a house of fire, Daffy coming right back and giving Luigi all he’s got!”

Daffy ran against the ropes as Luigi collected himself at ringside. . .until Daffy hit him with a baseball slide, slamming him against the barricade! Daffy grabbed Luigi by the overalls and threw him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Daffy then climbed onto the ring apron, then up the top turnbuckle, sizing Luigi up as he slowly rose to his feet. Daffy jumped off and successfully landed a Missile Dropkick onto Luigi! Daffy went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

LUIGI KICKED OUT!

“How close were we to having a new Television Champion???” asked Shake, as Daffy stood back up and taunted for Luigi to get up to his feet. Luigi staggered up to his feet and Daffy set him up for the Killswitch, only for Luigi to counter it and push Daffy against the ring ropes. On the bounceback, Luigi pulled Daffy’s legs out from under him and successfully locked him in the Boston Crab submission hold! Daffy screamed in agonizing pain as he reached for the bottom rope. . .only for Luigi to step forward, moving the hold to the center of the ring! Luigi screamed “TAP OUT! COME ON!” to Daffy, as the referee knelt and asked Daffy if he wanted to quit. . .Daffy inched a bit closer to the rope. . .

. . .extended his hand toward it. . .

. . .but tapped out!! However, as the referee called for the bell, Luigi only intensified the hold!

“Here is your winner as a result of a submission. . .AND STILL THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION. . .LUIGI!!!”

Daffy writhed in pain as the referee ordered Luigi to let go of the hold. Luigi shook his head no, still locking the Boston Crab hold in the center of the ring.

“You won the damn match, Luigi! Let Daffy go!” said Early in disgust.

The referee yelled for Luigi to break the hold until he finally let it go, leaving Daffy passed out in the center of the ring. Luigi took the Television title from the referee, who continued to shout at him. Luigi ignored him, stepping out of the ring and draping the TV title belt over his shoulder.

“Luigi getting a fair victory, and solidifying his reign as Television Champion! He’s as good as they come.” Said Shake.

Early rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and even winning fairly didn’t satisfy him! He’s still as dirty as they come.”

(Backstage)  
Hotsuma stood in a hallway with Carl Brutanandilewski, who had a microphone in hand.

“Hotsuma. . .” Carl asked, “. . .up next, you are scheduled to take on Tommy Vercetti in the final match of the semifinals, where should you win, you will take on Tai Kamiya in the finals to determine XCW’s first Majesty of March! However, Tommy has yet to arrive here in Central City, and if he doesn’t by the time you’re in the ring, you advance automatically! What are your thoughts about this position you’re in right now?”

Hotsuma stared stoically ahead of him as Carl put the microphone up to his mouth.

“Truth is, Carl. . .I would rather face Tommy than advance by default. Want to know why? Because, as a former leader of the Oboro Clan. . .to leave a warrior unopposed on any field of battle is dishonorable and punishable by death! I want to teach Tommy exactly what happens when you dishonor your opponent. But regardless of whether he shows up tonight or not, I will advance to the finals. . .and become XCW’s first Majesty of March. And Tommy? He will suffer the consequences for standing me up. Either from Jon. . .or me personally.”

(Commercial Break)

“The following contest is a March Majesty semifinal match scheduled for one fall!”

"Red Lottery" by Megasus played as the arena became engulfed in red light.

Plankton: Introducing first. . .from Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!!!

The crowd gave Hotsuma a mixed reaction as he walked onto the stage and down the ramp, looking at nothing but the ring.

“Well, we’re back live in Central City, Missouri about to conclude the March Majesty semifinals but Shake, we might as well go right into the finals because Tommy Vercetti still isn’t here!” Early said.

Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stood on the middle rope in a corner, glaring at the fans.

“You got that right!” Shake answered in agreement. “He was antsy about catching a plane after Massacre last week. . .no one has any idea where he could possibly be!”

Hotsuma stood in the middle of the ring, staring at the stage in anticipation as the referee begins the ten count!

“The referee now beginning the count which, upon the moment it reaches ten, the match is called, and Hotsuma will be named the winner by default!” informed Early, as the referee’s count reached two.

“Very rarely has this happened in fictional wrestling!” Shake said. (3!) “How much do you want to bet Arbuckle regrets giving Tommy the number one seed right now?” (4!)

With the crowd chanting “Tommy! Tommy! Tommy!”, Hotsuma leaned on the top rope as he continued waiting for Tommy, as the ref’s count reached five. Suddenly. . .

“Wayfarer” by Kavinsky played and the crowd roared into a standing ovation!

“There he is!!!” exclaimed Early.

“It’s about time!” Shake remarked.

Hotsuma backed up and got in a fighting stance as. . .

(Backstage)

. . .Tommy Vercetti drove through the hallways of the arena on a motorcycle! Tommy honked the horn on the motorcycle as he came up behind Arthur.

“Make way!” Tommy screamed as he honked the horn. “The future Majesty of March has a match right now!”

Arthur dove out of the way, unknowingly landing into the Diva’s locker room! Tommy continued to speed down the hallway as girls screamed behind him, offscreen.

“. . .AND HIS OPPONENT. . .” Plankton announced as Tommy turned a corner and rode through the entranceway, onto the stage, and down the ramp, raising a fist above his head!

(Ring)

“. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

“Jon Arbuckle has every reason to not be happy with this man right now!” Shake said. “First Tommy decides to show up late for the event, and when he finally arrives he’s riding around declaring himself the tournament winner already! The audacity of this man is astounding!”

Tommy rode the bike around the ringside area, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp.

“Tommy’s got a grin wider than a hooker’s legs right now!” Early commented. “Wherever this man was before the show, he looks as if he accomplished something that went so well, he’s already on the top of the mountain!”

Tommy got off the bike and slid into the ring, upon which Hotsuma bludgeoned him in the head with right hand after right hand!

“But Hotsuma now bringing Tommy back to reality as we look to conclude the semifinals of the March Majesty tournament!” Early said, as the bell rang, signaling the start of the match!

Hotsuma pulled Tommy to a standing position and whacked him in the chest with vicious chop after chop until Tommy grabbed onto the ropes with one free hand. Hotsuma then Irish whipped Tommy to the other side of the ring. On the bounceback, Hotsuma took down Tommy with another massive chop, knocking him to the mat! Hotsuma went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! Hotsuma pulled Tommy up, only to be met with a throat thrust. Tommy then attempted to Irish whip Hotsuma against the ropes, but he countered with an Irish whip of his own! Hotsuma went for another chop but Tommy instead landed onto him with a Lou Thesz Press, and hammered away at his head with furious right and left hands! Tommy went to attempt a cover but Hotsuma kicked him in the midsection. Hotsuma shot back up and took down Tommy with an STO! Hotsuma went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!

Hotsuma picked Tommy up to his feet and hit him in the chest with chop after chop until he was backed up in the corner. Hotsuma then repeatedly thrust his shoulder into Tommy’s sternum until Tommy fell into a seated position. Hotsuma then backed up to the opposite corner and taunted the crowd, who booed him in return. Hotsuma charged toward Tommy and connected with a boot to the face! Hotsuma went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!

“Tommy showing resilency early on. . .but he’s probably wishing he wasn’t late!” Early said.

“You’re right about that!” Shake said in response. “Tommy’s getting what he deserves right now!”

Hotsuma picked Tommy up and went for a backbreaker, but Tommy countered out of it and put Hotsuma into a wrist lock. Tommy wrenched on Hotsuma’s arm before taking him down with an arm drag, then locked him in a cross armbar! Hotsuma winced in pain until he crawled toward the ropes and grabbed onto them, forcing Tommy to break the hold. Tommy taunted for Hotsuma to get up, then charged toward him, only for Hotsuma to pull down on the top rope, sending Tommy over the ropes and down to the ringside floor! Hotsuma runs against the ropes on the other side of the ring as Tommy rises up to his feet. . .only for Hotsuma to dive over all three ropes and take Tommy down with a flying lariat!

“Good God!” Early cried. “Right on the concrete floor! Now both men are down!”

Although dazed, Hotsuma was the first to sit up and pull Tommy up to his feet by his shirt. As the referee began the ten count, Hotsuma picked Tommy up above his head and rammed him shoulder-first into the steel post! Tommy fell to the ground, selling his arm in pain! Hotsuma picked Tommy up again and went to slam his head onto the barricade but Tommy surprised him with a knee to the gut, and Irish whipped him toward the barricade, sending Hotsuma to hit it with a thud! Tommy charged at Hotsuma for a clothesline, but Hotsuma countered it with a back body drop, sending Tommy to fall over the barricade into the crowd! As the referee’s count reached five, Hotsuma climbed over the barricade and threw Tommy back into the ringside area, where he would then grab Tommy by the shirt and slide him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Hotsuma landed an elbow to Tommy’s face on the apron before sliding back in the ring, stopping the count. Hotsuma went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy’s foot was on the bottom rope!

Hotsuma argued with the referee in frustration while Tommy struggled to get up to his feet. After receiving a few choice words from the referee, Hotsuma turned back around only for Tommy to hit him in the face with right hand after right hand until he was backed up into a corner. Tommy then stood on the middle rope and landed ten straight punches to Hotsuma’s head, with the crowd counting in unison with each punch! Hotsuma collapsed onto the mat, upon which Tommy went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out! 

Tommy stood up and hit Hotsuma in the chest with a series of stomps. He then ran against the ropes and landed a pointed falling elbow drop onto Hotsuma’s sternum! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out! Hotsuma grabbed Tommy by the sides and rolled him onto his back. Hotsuma then latched onto Tommy’s neck and started to choke him until the referee threatened to disqualify him. Hotsuma stared down the referee in anger as he stood up and stepped to a corner. He sized up Tommy, who struggled to get up to his feet, selling his neck and gasping for air. Hotsuma charged at Tommy, attempted the punt kick but Tommy evaded it, sending Hotsuma toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Tommy caught Hotsuma and took him down with a Spinebuster! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

HOTSUMA KICKED OUT!!! 

Both men were down in the center of the ring as the referee started the ten count!

“How badly do these men want to make history and become XCW’s first Majesty of March?” Early asked. 

“So much, that fatigue is an afterthought!” Shake said. “You have to think whoever advances after this match will need to rest up fast for the finals later on tonight!”

Hotsuma and Tommy staggered up to their feet and traded right hands, with the crowd cheering “Yay!” when Tommy landed a punch, and “No!” when Hotsuma landed one. They continued trading punches until Hotsuma landed two consecutive right hands, then another. . .then another, and then a European uppercut, knocking Tommy over the ropes to the ring apron! Tommy pulled himself up with the ropes, until Hotsuma put him in a headlock and took him down with a hangman’s DDT! Hotsuma pulled Tommy back in the center of the ring and went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! Hotsuma stood up and glared angrily at Tommy as he did the cut throat taunt!

“Hotsuma signaling that the end is near for Tommy Vercetti!” exclaimed Early.

Tommy managed to stand back up to his feet and Hotsuma went for the Akujiki. . .but Tommy caught Hotsuma and dropped him with the Vercetti Driver!!! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

“And The Harwood Butcher pulls out the victory!” Early exclaimed.

The bell rang as Tommy rolled off Hotsuma, with the referee raising his arm above his head in victory!

“Here is your winner. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

Tommy rolled out of the ring and strided up the ramp, looking back at the ring with his fists above his head.

“The Hardcore Champion arrived late to the party but stole the show nevertheless, and will take on Tai Kamiya later on tonight in the final match of the March Majesty Tournament!” Early said, as the show cut to Tai and Sora watching the events in the arena from their locker room.

“And only one of those two men can go into the record books as XCW’s first ever Majesty of March, and earn a shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship at Endgame!” Shake added. “It was a hard fight for Tommy tonight, and the finals will be even harder.

“But will Tommy be rested enough to make history later tonight?” Shake asked, as Tommy stepped through the entranceway to the backstage area.

(Backstage)

Tommy staggered toward his locker room as Carl Brutanandilewski came up to him with a microphone in hand.

“Tommy Vercetti, congratulations on advancing to the finals of the March Majesty tournament, where you will take on Tai Kamiya later on tonight. However, a lot of us are wondering, why were you almost late for the start of your match, almost costing yourself a spot in the finals?”

“Well, to be honest, Carl, I had business to take care of on the other side of the state and had a long drive afterwards. But I proved just now that it doesn’t matter whether I’m early or late; I’m always at the top of my game---“

“There you are!” Jon Arbuckle interrupted as he wheeled up to Tommy. “Who the hell do you think you are to show up late? Just because you’re the number one seed and the Hardcore Champion doesn’t give you the right to show up whenever you so please!”

“Jeez, Arbuckle, I didn’t expect you be so angry!” Tommy responded. “What with your lack of a spine and all. Of course it doesn’t help your cause much when your spine gets broken by a girl!”

Jon lowered his brow in anger. “I’ve had just about enough of you, Mr. Vercetti! You want to disrespect my authority? Well guess what – you’ve got a lot on your plate now that you’re back on XCW turf. Because regardless of whether or not you win the March Majesty finals tonight, tomorrow night on Monday Night Massacre, you’re going to defend the Hardcore Championship against both Solid Snake AND Hotsuma in a Triple Threat match!”

“Good luck in the finals!” Jon yelled as he wheeled away. Tommy stared at him, annoyed.

“Asshole.” Tommy remarked. “First he hides behind a giant cat, now he hides behind a desk. He’ll always be spineless even when he starts to walk again.”

(Commercial Break)

A silhouetted figure knelt in a corner of the ring.

Announcer: He is a former UCW and CWF superstar. . .

A brief montage of shots featured the figure landing a Stunner on a jobber, the same figure hitting a jobber with Rolling Thunder, and the figure hitting another jobber in the chest with an uppercut.

Announcer: A multiple-time Tag Team Champion. . .

A brief montage of shots featured two silhouetted figures performing various double team moves on various jobbers.

Announcer: . . .And a man who has led The Four Soldiers to icon status in this industry. He is. . .

The figure held a figure-four leg lock submission hold on a jobber.

Announcer: . . .The Leader, Stan Marsh.

The lights go up in the ring to reveal Stan Marsh standing in the middle of it.

Stan stated, "This is pretty fucked up right here. XCW. . .BE READY!”

(Ring)

“And ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to announce that the Four Soldiers of South Park will make their XCW debut tomorrow night on Monday Night Massacre in two separate tag team matches!” Early informed.

“I cannot wait to finally see these four men in action!” Shake exclaimed. “They’ll make an instant impact in XCW’s tag team division!”

“You’re absolutely right, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “And speaking of tag teams, the tag team titles are to be decided right now in a tables match!”

Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone up to his mouth. 

“The following contest is a Tables match. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Championships!!!”

All the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by "YOU EEEDIOT!" then Scott Steiner's TNA music played, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walked onto the stage and down the ramp, with Kevin right behind him with a devilish grin on his face.

“Introducing first, the challengers. . .being accompanied to the ring by Kevin. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .REN AND STIMPY!”

“Ren and Stimpy shocked all of XCW when they revealed Kevin as their manager last week!” Early said.

Ren, Stimpy and Kevin posed on opposite turnbuckles.

“I’ll say!” Shake added. “Kevin knows D-Generation Ed inside and out, from their days living in a Peach Creek cul-de-sac to PCUW! With his experience and knowledge, Ren and Stimpy may have the advantage in this one.”

“Don’t forget the match stipulation!” Early said. “If there’s one thing Ren and Stimpy have gained a reputation of doing since debuting in XCW, it’s putting people through tables!”

All the lights in the arena went off. Suddenly. . .the following words came from the titantron.

"ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Ed, Edd, and Nazz jumped onto the stage from below it, their tag title belts in hand. Raising the title belts above their heads toward the fans, Ed and Edd strode down the ramp with Nazz right behind them.

"And their opponents. . .being accompanied to the ring by Nazz. . .from Peach Creek. . .they are the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .Ed and Double D. . .D-GENERATION-ED!!!”

Ed and Edd slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, raising their title belts above their heads toward the fans.

“There hasn’t been a more successful tag team in this industry than the Eds from Peach Creek!” Early informed. “From UCW, to CWF, to XCF, Ed and Double D have won tag team championships in all of them!  
They met in the center of the ring, with Nazz right in front of them, and did the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

“And now they’re making strides in XCW!” Shake added. “But tonight, even though they’ve beaten Ren and Stimpy before, this is their toughest test in XCW to date: not only do they come face to face with a former rival, they have to put both Ren AND Stimpy through one of these wooden tables here at ringside with an offensive maneuver in order to successfully retain their tag team championships! It’s gonna be interesting to see this one pan out!”

The bell rang and the match began with Ed brawling with Ren in the center of the ring, and Stimpy pushing Edd into a corner, punching him in the gut with right hand after right hand! Edd managed to land a kick to Stimpy’s gut and take him down with a Tornado DDT! Meanwhile, on the outside of the ring, Nazz and Kevin each grabbed a table and slid them into the ring to their respective teams. Edd grabbed the table and set it up in the corner while Ren picked the other table up and rammed it into Ed’s midsection before setting it up. Ren pushed Ed into the corner and hit him in the face with a flurry of punches before stepping onto the top rope. Ren set Ed up for a superplex but Edd quickly pushed the table out of the way as Ren superplexed Ed down to the mat! Ren then charged at Edd and tackled him into the corner. Edd stumbled out of the corner and Ren took him down with a reverse DDT! Ren then rolled out of the ring, looked under the ring apron and took out a steel chair! Ren entered the ring and strode towards Ed, who staggered up to his feet. Ren went for a chair shot to Ed’s face, but Ed caught Ren and took him down with a belly-to-belly suplex! Ren stood up and walked right into a pumphandle slam from Ed! Ed then latched onto Stimpy and took him down with a belly-to-belly suplex, leaving Ed and Edd alone in the ring!

“This animal Ed is like a house of fire!” Early commented.

Edd then moved one table to the center of the ring while Ed picked Stimpy up and rested his body on the table until Ren stood back up to his feet and took Ed down with a reverse DDT! Meanwhile, Edd climbed up to the top turnbuckle and went for a Diving Edsault onto Stimpy. . .only for Stimpy to roll off the table, sending Edd crashing through it chest and ribs-first!

“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!” Early shouted. “Double D whiffed on the Edsault attempt, and drove himself through a table!” 

“Good God is right! Who knows how many splinters he has all over his body?” Shake asked, while Edd clenched his abdomen in pain. Meanwhile, Ren picked Ed back up and kneed him in the midsection before Irish whipping him toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Ren sent Ed flying with a back body drop, sending him crashing down to the ringside floor! Ed rolled onto his chest and sold his lower back in pain on impact.  
As Ed writhed in pain, Kevin turned the corner and loomed over Ed’s head. He pointed at Ed and started to laugh at him hysterically. Ed lowered his brow in anger until Kevin began to stomp on Ed’s lower back! Ed screamed in agonizing pain as Kevin continued to stomp on him. Back in the ring, Edd and Stimpy got into a fistfight in the center of the ring. They traded punches until Stimpy landed a three-punch shimmy, with Edd falling to the mat after the final punch. Ren picked Edd up and Irish whipped him against the ropes. On the bounceback, Stimpy caught him and took him down with a Scoop Slam! 

Stimpy raised his arms above his head and screamed at the crowd, who cheered back. Stimpy pulled Edd's legs up and spread them apart while Ren climbed up to the top rope! Stimpy looked up and screamed "WASSSSUPPP?" to Ren, who screamed it back. Ren then dove off the top rope and hit Edd with a headbutt to the groin! Stimpy then shoved Ren, screaming his name at the top of his lungs. Ren turned to face Stimpy and screamed “WHAT?” Stimpy breathed heavily and screamed “GET THE TABLE!” up at the ceiling, with the crowd screaming along! Ren grabbed the table out of the corner and set it up in the center of the ring. As Ren and Stimpy set Edd up for a back drop-neckbreaker double team move, Nazz slid into the ring and pulled the table against the ropes and out of the way, just in time as Ren and Stimpy executed the move! Nazz quickly ran across the ring and hit Kevin with a baseball slide, knocking him off Ed and onto the announce table!

“Nazz coming in to successfully make the save for the tag team champions!” said Early.

Nazz slid out of the ring and helped Ed get up to his feet until Stimpy and Ren grabbed Nazz by the hair and pulled her onto the ring apron! 

“Ohhh man. . .I smell trouble!” Shake said in a worried tone.

Stimpy and Ren pulled Nazz into the ring above the second rope, with Ed following her. Ren lifted her up in an attempt for the R&S Death Drop but Ed took Ren down with a chop block, making the save! Ed then picked Ren up in a Military Press and went to throw him outside the ring, but Ren fell out of Ed’s grasp and landed an Enziguri kick to the back of his head! Stimpy, meanwhile, came face-to-face with Nazz and backed her up into the corner. Suddenly, Edd ran back into the ring with a chair in hand, and whacked Stimpy across the back with it! Stimpy sold his back in pain as he turned to face Edd, but he continued to hammer away at Stimpy’s back and midsection with the chair! As Nazz slid out of the ring, Edd then dropped the chair and took Stimpy down with a DDT onto it!

“Dear Lord! Stimpy’s brain has got to be scrambled!” cried Early.

Edd picked Stimpy up and climbed up the table set up against the ropes, dragging Stimpy up with him. Meanwhile, Kevin grabbed another table from under the ring and set it up on the ringside floor, right below Edd and Stimpy! Edd picked Stimpy up for another DDT, but Stimpy fought out of it with punches to Edd’s gut. Stimpy then turned around and took Edd out with a Log Cutter to the outside of the ring, crashing Edd right through the table Kevin just set up!

“A LOG CUTTER FROM THE INSIDE OF THE RING TO THE OUTSIDE! NOW BOTH STIMPY AND DOUBLE D ARE DOWN!!!” yelled an intense Early.

As Stimpy and Edd lay prone on the ringside floor, Kevin grabbed two more tables from under the ring apron and slid them both into the ring. Ren grabbed one and set it up in the corner, then grabbed hold of the other table and whipped Ed across the back with it! Ed screamed in agonizing pain as Ren set the table up in the center of the ring, dragging the table against the ropes to the center as well. Ren then picked Ed up by the shirt and threw him into the corner turnbuckle. Ren pulled Ed up as he climbed to the top rope. Ren then went for a Frankensteiner from the top rope. . .but Ed kept a grip onto Ren and threw him through both tables in the center of the ring!!! 

“OH MY GOD!!! It now comes down to two men: Ed and Stimpy!!!” Early announced.

Ed slowly staggered up to his feet, unaware that Kevin was in the opposite corner, taunting for him to turn around!

“Kevin now back in the ring staring down his former rival! What sick things could be going through his mind right now???” wondered Early.

“For Kevin, this is not about winning the tag team titles for Ren and Stimpy!” Shake declared. “This is about making the Eds lose!”

Nazz slid into the ring and checked on Ed as he got to his feet in a daze. Ed and Nazz turned around to see Kevin charging at them!!! 

“KEVIN GOING FOR THE BULL TACKLE---“ Early said until Ed and Nazz ran separate ways, causing Kevin to spear himself right through the table set up in the corner!!!

“OH MY GOD!! KEVIN WENT FOR THE BULL TACKLE BUT ED AND NAZZ ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY!!” screamed Early.

“Ren and Stimpy’s manager for tonight may have just taken himself out of the equation for the rest of this matchup!” Shake declared as Stimpy rose back into the ring and charged toward Ed with a clothesline! Ed dodged it, sending Stimpy to run against the ropes. Ed caught Stimpy on the bounceback and took him down with a headbutt! As Ed did Randy Orton’s wake-up taunt, Nazz grabbed another table from under the ring apron and slid it into the ring. As Stimpy slowly rose to his feet, Ed picked him up for the Eledrifier. . .only for Stimpy to fall behind Ed and take him down with a Full Nelson Slam on the remains of a crumbled table! Ed screamed in pain as Ren and Stimpy set up the table, with Ren staying on the far side of it. Stimpy taunted for Ed to get up. . .

“Uh-oh! Ren and Stimpy looking for the Death Drop. . .we might crown new champions---“ Early said until Ed, in a daze, turned around to face Stimpy, who picked him up for the R&S Death Drop. . .

. . .only for Ed to fall out of it, kick Stimpy in the midsection and lift him up for the Eledrifier again!!!

“---OR MAYBE NOT!” Early finished! Ren ran toward Ed only to be met with a big boot! Ed carried Stimpy toward the table while Kevin suddenly charged toward Ed for a Bull Tackle. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE BULL TACKLE BUT NOT BEFORE ED PUT STIMPY THROUGH A TABLE WITH THE ELEDRIFIER!!! The bell rang as all five men lay prone in the ring, and on the ringside floor!!!

“AND D-ED SUCCESSFULLY RETAINS THEIR GOLD!!!” screamed Early in excitement!

“Here are your winners. . .AND STILL THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. . .D-GENERATION ED!!!”

The referee raised Ed’s hand in victory and laid both tag title belts on his chest. Ed rolled out of the ring and gave the other belt to Edd, who was slow to rise to his feet.

“The four men in this match gave you everything they had tonight!” Early said. “It was a solid back and forth contest from the opening bell, but in the end, D-Generation Ed will walk out of Central City tonight with the tag team championships around their waist!” 

Ed and Edd stumbled up the ramp as Ren checked on Stimpy in the center of the ring. Kevin knelt beside Ren in bemused concern.

“What a match!” Shake said in agreement. “D-Ed beat Ren and Stimpy with their own weapons of choice!”

Ren draped Stimpy’s arm over his shoulder and helped him walk out of the ring and down the ramp.

“Ren now helping his long-time friend Stimpy back to the locker room area. Again a valiant effort from these two men, but even having Kevin at ringside didn’t help their cause.” Early said.

“It was a hell of a fight. . .heh, it’s been a hell of a night tonight! What else is gonna happen?” Shake wondered as Nazz slid into the ring.

(Commercial Break)

(Backstage)

Ed and Edd strode down a hallway with the tag team title belts over their shoulders.

“Wait, Double D. . .” Ed said.

“Yes, Ed?” Edd asked.

“Why aren’t we with Nazz at ringside right now?” Ed asked with an oblivious stare on his face.

“Because, Ed. . .” Edd said, “. . .to get involved in a women’s match would not only make Nazz look bad, but also make us look bad as well! You wouldn’t want us to lose our number one tag team champions ranking now, would you?”

“No, Double D!” Ed said as he and Edd turned a corner, upon which Edd unsuspectingly ate a Bull Tackle from Kevin! Kevin repeatedly punched Edd in the face until Ed pulled him off. Ed and Kevin started to brawl, trading vicious right hands until Ed hit Kevin with a headbutt, lifted him up onto his shoulders and hit Kevin with the Eledrifier, with Kevin’s body colliding into a wall upon being spun! Ed picked Edd up and threw him over his shoulder before continuing to walk down the hallway.

“Come on, Double D! We have to root for Nazz.” Ed said as he stepped down the hallway. Ren then came up to a prone Kevin from the other side of the hallway and   
loomed over Kevin, angrily staring at him face-to-face.

“YOU EEEEEDIOT!” Ren yelled. “I thought everything you knew about the Eds would help us win. Turns out your hatred for them got in your way of helping us, and in our way of winning! And thanks to you, Stimpy’s in the hospital getting all his splinters removed! You better hope someone else needs a manager, because your services are no longer needed!”

Ren stormed down the hallway, leaving Kevin in a crumbled heap!

“EEEDIOT!” Ren screamed. “We should’ve stuck with the Chicken!”

“Ren laying down the law to his former manager!” Shake said. “You have to think there’s still a drive for Ren and Stimpy to regain the tag titles, though. I have a feeling the war between these two teams is far from over.”

(Ring)

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Championship!”

While “T&A” by Jim Johnston played, Nazz stood in the ring, getting pumped up and looking at the ramp.

“Already in the ring. . .representing D-Generation-Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .NAZZ!!!”

The crowd cheered as Nazz climbed up a corner turnbuckle and did the DX crotch chop.

“You’re probably right, Shake! Nevertheless, we are back live here in Central City, Missouri, where it is now Nazz’s turn to bring gold to D-Generation-Ed!” Early said.

Nazz stepped off the turnbuckle and looked down the ramp in anticipation.

“She assisted D-Ed in a very effective way in the last match!” Shake said. “So effective that the Eds won a hard-fought title defense against Ren and Stimpy! But now we’re about to see Nazz compete for the Women’s title!”

"Brackish" by Kittie played as Peach strutted down the ramp to a chorus of boos. As she walked, she motioned her hands over the Women's title belt around her waist and taunted the crowd.

“And her opponent. . .representing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .she is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion. . .PEACH!”

Early said, “Peach is now going into her second month as the XCW Women’s Champion, and for the past two months, she’s etched a tainted legacy onto the Women’s title belt!”

Peach blew a kiss to the referee as she took off the Women's title belt. She then climbed to the top of a turnbuckle and blew another kiss toward the commentator’s booth.

“I’m sorry, what’d you say, Early?” Shake asked. “Peach put me into a trance.”

Early scoffed as the bell rang and the match began. Peach stepped back onto the mat and turned around, immediately eating a spear from Nazz that sent her into the corner! Nazz then hammered away at Peach with right hand after right hand before Irish whipping her into the opposite corner! Peach bounced off the corner, with Nazz charging toward her. Nazz then took down Peach with a massive clothesline! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out! Nazz brought Peach up to her feet and went for another right hand. Peach, however, caught it and put Nazz into an arm-lock. Peach wrenched on Nazz’s arm some more before taking Nazz down with an arm drag, and locking her into a chin lock. Nazz quickly fought out of it, though, grabbing onto Peach’s sides and standing up before taking Peach down with a Northern Lights Suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out!

Nazz picked Peach up and put her in a side headlock only for Peach to drive Nazz up against the ropes. Peach pushed Nazz off her, sending her against the ropes on the other side of the ring. On the bounceback, Peach took Nazz down with a neckbreaker! Peach went for the quick cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out! Peach picked Nazz up and threw her face-first into a corner. Peach then set Nazz up in the tree of woe and proceeded to repeatedly kick her in the sternum! As the referee came to their corner, Peach pushed her foot up against Nazz’s head, choking her! The referee ordered Peach to let up, and started the five count! Peach let go once the count reached five, grabbed Nazz by the legs and pulled her back to the center of the ring. Peach then flipped Nazz onto her back and hit her with a slingshot into the corner! Nazz landed hard onto the top corner turnbuckle and crumbled to the mat! Peach went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out! Peach couldn’t believe it!

“Peach has punished Nazz for the whole match, but she will not give in!” Early commented as Peach picked Nazz up to her feet and went for another neckbreaker, but Nazz fought out of it and put Peach into a waist-lock, then took her down with an Atomic Drop! Peach then struggled to pull herself up with the ropes until Nazz Irish whipped her into the corner. Nazz ran towards her and successfully landed a high knee to Peach’s chin, sending her to fall into a seated position in the corner!

“Oh no!” Early said, as Nazz ran excitedly to the opposite corner. Nazz looked at Peach and taunted her with the DX crotch chop! Nazz then ran toward the corner and repeatedly hit Peach with the Bronco Buster!

“Can you imagine how that feels???” Early wondered.

“I sure can. . .and I have on more than one occasion!” Shake said as if in a trance. Nazz then drug Peach by her leg to the center of the ring and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 PEACH KICKED OUT!!!

“How close was that???” questioned Early, as Nazz pulled Peach up to her feet and put her in a headlock. Nazz ran toward the ropes and leapt for All That Nazz but Peach latched onto Nazz and took her down with a Back Suplex! Both women lay in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count! Peach slowly became the first to sit up, staggered toward a corner turnbuckle, and proceeded to climb up it.

“Peach now looking to capitalize on a prone Nazz!!” Early exclaimed. “Will Peach put her away?”

Peach made it to the top rope and hit Nazz with the Peach Press! Peach went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 NAZZ KICKED OUT!!! Peach rolled off Nazz and argued with the referee over the count!

“What could Nazz possibly have left???” questioned Early.

“We could be looking at the new Women’s Champion here!” Shake cried as Peach turned back around and quickly avoided a clothesline from Nazz, causing Nazz to knock down the referee! Nazz stood back up and looked down at the referee in shock, completely unaware that Peach was right behind her! Peach then locked in the abdominal stretch!

“And Peach now looking to just put Nazz through non-stop pain with her abdominal stretch!” Early said, as Nazz screamed in agonizing pain! Nazz slowly stepped toward the ropes but Peach continued to press harder on the hold! Nazz raised her hand up. . .

. . .looks like she’s about to tap. . .

Early said, “Nazz is about to become yet another victim of Peach’s pain-inducing reign---“

. . .but Nazz instead uses a free arm to elbow Peach and counter the abdominal stretch into a headlock! Nazz then ran toward the ropes and successfully landed All That Nazz!!! 

“BUT NAZZ COUNTERED OUT OF IT!!! ALL THAT NAZZ CONNECTS!” Early yelled in excitement! Nazz went for the cover and hooked the leg as the referee crawled toward the pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . . 

. . .3!!!

The bell rang as Nazz stood back up and ran around the ring in celebration!

“IT’S OVER! NEW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!!!”

Nazz stopped suddenly to catch her breath and sell her abdomen as the crowd erupted into a frenzy!

“Here is your winner. . .AND THE NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WOMEN’S CHAMPION. . .NAZZ!!!!”

Upon receiving the Women’s title belt from the timekeeper, Nazz raised it above her head in victory!

“NAZZ HAS PUT AN EFFECTIVE END TO PEACH’S REIGN AS CHAMPION!!!” Early shouted.

Nazz stood in the middle of the ring and proceeded to do the DX crotch chop, with pyro coming in unison from each top rope!

“And brought even more gold to D-Generation-Ed in doing so!” Shake added. “They’re beginning to look like the most decorated stable we have here in XCW!”

“You’re absolutely right, Shake!” Early agreed. “But the most coveted prizes in XCW are yet to be decided here tonight! Not only will the World Heavyweight Championship be contested tonight in a triple threat match, but up next ,will be the final match in the March Majesty Tournament! Will Tai Kamiya emerge victorious and begin his uphill climb to the top of this industry, or will Tommy Vercetti, the number one seed of this tournament, continue to ride his wave of momentum and win the crown?”

“And keep in mind that the winner of this next match will not only be crowned XCW’s first ever Majesty of March, but will also receive a shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship at Endgame!” Shake added.

“A lot at stake for the two men in our next match, as we go backstage with Carl Brutanandilewski, standing with Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi!

(Backstage)

Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi stood next to Carl Brutanandilewski, who had a microphone in hand.

“Tai Kamiya. . .” Carl asked, “. . .up next, you take on Tommy Vercetti for the title of March Majesty, and a shot for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship at Endgame. But for you and Sora, it’s a lot more than that. Has the pressure gotten to you at all since the semifinals?

“Well, Carl. . .” said Tai. “. . .there is a lot on the line going into this match. Not only a shot at the XCW World Title, not only the March Majesty Tournament, but also my legacy and standing in the wrestling business. Nowadays, when everyone looks at me in the wrestling ring, they remember me from getting planted through a table by Ash Ketchum at Wrestlemania, for losing the Hardcore title to Kim Possible, and most recently, my loss to Davis in a ladder match, and getting beaten to a bloody pulp by Garfield. If I lose this next match, the futility continues. But right now, all that is in the past, and I am too close to the top of the mountain to even be able to miss a step! I am well-rested, well-trained, and ready to go for the finals! After tonight, when my fans look at me, they will no longer think about my failures. They will remember me as the greatest fictional wrestler of all time!”

Tai and Sora walk away from Carl hand-in-hand.

(Commercial Break)

(Backstage)

Haruko Haruhara (from FLCL) stood next to Tommy Vercetti with a microphone in hand.

“Interviewer-in-training Haruko Haruhara here with the Harwood Butcher, current XCW Hardcore Champion, and the number one seed of the March Majesty Tournament, Tommy Vercetti,! Now Tommy, earlier tonight, you defeated Hotsuma to advance to the final match tonight, but it was a very hard fought contest. Do you think you’re well-rested enough to compete in this next match?”

“Listen, sweet cheeks. . .” Tommy said. ". . .I was born with an uncanny ability to take every level of punishment! That’s why I’m the Hardcore Champion. I can take on as many comers as anyone possibly can, that’s why I’m the Harwood Butcher. As for why I’m the number one seed? Hotsuma took me all over the ringside area only an hour ago, and I don’t feel one ounce of pain! Now I’ll give Tai a lot of credit, he’s come this far. But when it all comes down to it, I don’t have anyone with me at ringside to cloud my mind! I’m my own man, I’m a killing machine, and after tonight, my already long list of accomplishments that you named off will have ‘2012 March Majesty Tournament Winner’ at the end of it! Because my name is Tommy Vercetti. . .and I’m here to raise hell!”

Tommy got onto a Faggio moped next to him and drove away from Haruko.

(Ring)

“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is the March Majesty Finals match!!! The winner of this match will be crowned the 2012 Majesty of March, and earn a shot for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship at Endgame!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played as Tai and Sora ran onto the stage and down the ramp.

“Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Sora Takenouchi. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .TAI KAMIYA!"

The crowd cheered as Tai and Sora slid into the ring, with Tai posing on two opposite turnbuckles toward the fans.

“This is more than just the final match in the March Majesty Tournament for Tai Kamiya. This is the final hurdle to jump before the finish line. This is the final obstacle on the course. This is the final curtain of the comeback! The final mountain---

Tai and Sora briefly kissed each other, upon which Sora left the ring and cheered her husband on at ringside.

“Enough with the clichés, Early! We get it! We get it! With a win tonight, Tai Kamiya puts himself back on the top of this industry! But his final test tonight won’t be easy, as it comes against this man!”

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as Tommy Vercetti rode down the ramp on a Faggio moped, until it came to a stop at the foot of the ramp.

"And his opponent. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!" (Crowd Cheers)

Tommy rode the bike around the ringside area, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp.

“We all know Tai needs this match for his legacy, but Tommy Vercetti needs this too!” Shake said. “Like his partner-in-crime, Claude Speed, Tommy has made an early mark in the Hardcore division. And like Claude did at Doomsday, Tommy is jumping for a chance to prove that he can compete outside the Hardcore division as well!”

Tommy Vercetti got off the moped and slid into the ring. He raised the Hardcore title belt above his head toward the fans.

“You’re absolutely right, Shake!” Early agreed. “Tai is a phenomenal athlete and technical wrestler, but I don’t think there is no one in XCW that is as intense a performer as the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti! With these two men squaring off for the title of Majesty of March and a World Title shot, we could have an instant classic on our hands!”

The bell rang and the match began with Tai and Tommy Vercetti on opposite sides of the ring, staring each other down. Tai and Tommy stepped to the center of the ring and came face-to-face. 

“Two of the hottest rising stars in XCW, with two different fighting styles are about to compete in that very ring right now!” Early declared. “Who will make the first move?”

Tai suddenly tied Tommy up in the center of the ring and put him in a wrist lock. Tai went for a back suplex but Tommy dropped out of it and turned Tai to face him. Tommy then landed a series of punches and body shots to Tai’s head and sternum, until Tai was backed up against the ropes on the other side of the ring. Tommy then Irish whipped Tai against the ropes on the other side of the ring. On the bounceback, Tommy landed a Lou Thesz Press onto Tai, then hammered away at his face with furious right and left hands! Tommy stood back up, walked around the ring and yelled in intensity!!! Tai got back up to his feet and Irish whipped Tommy into a corner. . .only for Tommy to bounce out of the corner and take Tai back down with a massive clothesline! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!

Tommy picked Tai up to his feet and Irish whipped him into a corner. Tommy then climbed onto the second rope and proceeded to nail Tai in the face with ten consecutive punches to the head, with the crowd counting along in unison with each punch! Tommy stepped off the turnbuckle and Tai fell into a seated position in the corner. Tommy then started to stomp a vicious mudhole into Tai’s chest! The referee tried to break it up by pushing Tommy off him. Once the ref backed off, though, Tommy charged back to the corner and stomped on Tai some more! The referee came back to the corner and started the five count. Tommy stopped stomping once the count reached five. Tommy drug Tai back to the center of the ring and went for the cover again, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!

“Aside from Garfield’s beatdown, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tai so dominated in singles competition!” Early said, astonished.

“Neither have I, Early!” Shake agreed. “But that’s Tommy Vercetti for you. He’s such an intense force inside the squared circle!”

Tommy picked Tai up to his feet and drug him by the hair toward another corner. Tai, however, elbowed Tommy repeatedly in the chest and came face-to-face with him. Tai then slapped Tommy in the chest with a fierce chop! Tommy winced in pain as Tai continued to hit Tommy in the chest with chop after chop until Tommy was backed up into a corner! Tai then landed a quick judo kick to the back of Tommy’s head! Tai quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!

Tai pulled Tommy up to his feet and landed more chops to his chest until he was backed up against another corner. Tai repeatedly hit Tommy in the face with elbow thrust after elbow thrust until Tommy managed to hit Tai with a boot to the abdomen. Tommy then knocked Tai over the ropes and down to the ringside floor, taking himself down with him! Tommy brought Tai up to his feet and kneed him in the chest before throwing him back-first against the ring apron. Tommy went for a lariat but Tai landed a kick to his chest, knocking him back a bit as the referee began the ten count! Tai charged at Tommy for a spear but Tommy caught him and lifted him up for a piledriver! Tai however, countered it into a Tornado DDT! As the referee’s count reached three, Tai picked Tommy up by the shirt collar and drug him with intent on sliding him back in the ring but Tommy stopped Tai in his tracks and took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep!

As the referee’s count reached five, Tommy picked Tai up by the hair and threw him face-first into the steel post! Tai’s body crumbled to the floor as Tommy’s attention turned to Sora, who looked on in concern from the adjacent side of the ring. He stared Sora down as he picked Tai back up by the hair and slid him back into the ring under the bottom rope. 

“Watch this, sweetheart!” Tommy yelled in Sora’s direction before landing an elbow to Tai’s face!

“Tommy wants to be Majesty of March so bad, he’ll do anything to win the crown! Even if it means to manhandle Tai and taunt Sora to watch!” Early stated while Tommy slid back into the ring, ending the referee’s count at seven.

“Come on, Early!” Shake said. “Tommy’s a convicted, psychotic killer and drug dealer! He can’t go any lower!”

Tommy drug Tai to the middle of the ring and covered Tai, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

TAI KICKED OUT!!! Tommy looked down at Tai in shock!

“All that punishment, and Tai still kicked out!” Early said in excitement, as Tommy picked Tai up in position for a powerbomb, but Tai swept Tommy’s legs out from under him and positioned himself behind a corner. Tai then threw Tommy over for a slingshot right into the top turnbuckle! Tommy careened around the ring in a daze until Tai caught him and took him down with a Northern Lights suplex pin attempt! 

1\. . .

2\. . .

TOMMY KICKED OUT!

As Tai and Tommy rose to their feet, Tai struck first with chop after chop until Tommy clenched his sternum in pain. Tai then took Tommy down with a swinging neckbreaker! Tai then ran toward the ropes and landed a springboard moonsault onto Tommy! Tai hooked the leg and the referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! Tai rolled off Tommy and both men laid down in the center of the ring trying to catch their breath as the referee began the ten count! Tai and Tommy staggered up to their feet and faced each other, still in a daze. They traded right hands until Tommy blocked a punch from Tai and wrenched his arm, moving right behind Tai. Tommy then lifted Tai up and took him down with a back drop! Tommy then ran against the ropes and landed a falling elbow to Tai’s face! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TAI KICKED OUT!!! Tommy slapped his hand on the mat repeatedly in frustration!!! 

“Another near fall!” Early exclaimed. “How much more damage must Tommy do to put Tai away?”

Tommy lifted Tai up and tied his arms up for the Vercetti Driver but Tai countered it into a backslide pin attempt! 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! Tommy and Tai charged at each other and got into a tie-up. Tommy locked Tai into a waist-lock only for Tai to counter it into a waist-lock of his own, and take down Tommy with a trio of German suplexes! Tai went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! Tai rolled off Tommy and pulled himself up with the ropes.

“Tai has come close to winning this thing on multiple occasions tonight!” Shake exclaimed. “What else does he have to do???”

Tai and Tommy rose to their feet and got into another fistfight! Tai would gain the advantage with a surprise left hand in between right hands, then Irish whipped Tommy against the ropes. Tai leapt onto the ropes behind him and on the bounceback, took Tommy down with a springboard hurricanrana!!! Tommy laid in the center of the ring while Tai looked up at the crowd, which was in a frenzy! 

“Tai knows what he has left to do!” Early exclaimed. “The comeback’s end comes closer with every step he takes toward the corner!”

Tai stepped to a corner and climbed to the top rope! Tai sized Tommy up and successfully landed the Tai Dive! Tai sold his head in pain as he crawled in for the cover! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

“It’s over---“

. . .2.99 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!!  
“NOOO!” Early shouted as Tai rolled off Tommy in exhaustion. Tai stumbled up to his feet, still clenching his head while taunting for Tommy to get up! Tommy came to a standing position, upon which, Tai went for the Crossface, but Tommy caught Tai’s arm and Irish whipped him against the ropes. On the bounceback, Tommy caught Tai and took him down with a Standing Spinebuster! Tommy looked around at all the fans, still crazy with excitement, and yelled at the top of his lungs in intensity! Taunting him to stand up, Tommy sized up Tai, who pulled himself up with the ropes. Tai managed to stagger up to his feet only for Tommy to tie up his arms, lift him up and drop him with the Vercetti Driver!

“THE HARWOOD BUTCHER AND THE NUMBER ONE SEED REIGNING SUPREME!”

Tommy yelled “Bow down!” while going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

“Long live His Majesty!” exclaimed Shake.

2\. . .

“Tommy Verce---“

. . .2.99 TAI KICKED OUT!!! Tommy abruptly stood back up in disbelief!!!

“WHAT????” shouted Shake!

“HOW DID TAI KICK OUT????” Early questioned in amazement! Meanwhile, the crowd went wild all over the arena!

Tommy raised three fingers up to the referee, who asserts that the count was only two. Tommy shook his head as he lifted Tai up again. Tommy tied up Tai’s arms as he walked over to the corner, taking Tai with him. Tommy lifted Tai up for the Vercetti Driver again but Tai countered out of it, taking Tommy down and locking him in the. . .

“CROSSFACE!!! THE CROSSFACE! TAI’S GOT THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN!!!” Early, somehow intelligibly shouted. Tommy screamed in agonizing pain as Tai locked the hold in tighter!!! The referee asked Tommy if he wanted to quit but Tommy couldn’t shake his head no! Tommy inched closer to the bottom rope. . .

. . .extended his hand out. . .

“WILL TOMMY TAP???” Shake questioned in excitement.

. . .and tried to counter the hold into a roll-up pin attempt but Tai didn’t let go, keeping the hold locked in the center of the ring!!! Tommy wormed closer to the ropes. . .

. . .reached for them with a free hand. . .

. . .but tapped out!!!! The bell rang but it could barely be heard over the crowd’s cheering and screaming!!

“IT’S OVER!!! OUR FIRST MAJESTY OF MARCH IS CROWNED!!!”

Tai rolled off Tommy and rose up to his knees as the referee raised his hand in victory!!!

“Here is your winner. . .AND THE 2012 MAJESTY OF MARCH. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

Sora slid into the ring and embraced Tai into a passionate kiss at the center of the ring!

“Tai Kamiya’s comeback has come to fruition in a hard-fought match!” Early yelled. “These two men gave each other, and all the fans everything they had! But in the end, that man, used incredible athletic ability to regain the upper hand and force the number one seeded Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, to tap out!”

Tai and Sora left the ring, leaving Tommy laying on the mat exhausted. Tai and Sora made their way up the ramp toward the stage, where a large throne sat. (think the Iron Throne in Game of Thrones) Carl Brutanandilewski stood next to the throne with a microphone in hand, while two attendants put a king’s robe on over Tai’s shoulders, and gave him a crown.

“Tai Kamiya. . .” Carl said, “congratulations on winning our first March Majesty Tournament, and becoming XCW’s first Majesty of March! Do you have anything to say about your accomplishment?”

Tai looked around at the arena in amazement, with the sellout crowd chanting “SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!” 

“I don’t know what to say!” Tai said, between large gasps of breath. “I have to congratulate Tommy Vercetti, he gave his all as much as I did. . .but most of all, I’ve got to thank all the fans for sticking by me for the past fourteen years!”

The crowd erupted into cheers and chants of “TAI! TAI! TAI!” while Tai sat down onto the giant throne. “It was a long, uphill climb. . .” Tai said, “. . .but I am ON the top of this industry, and eagerly await the XCW World Heavyweight Champion at Endgame!”

The crowd continued to cheer as Sora came to Tai’s side and planted another kiss on his lips.

“Well, Tai. . .” Carl said, “. . .you won’t have to wait any longer to know who your opponent his, because you have a seat fit for a king for our final match tonight! Our main event: the triple threat match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship! In the meantime, Tai, you and Sora get comfortable at your throne while we go live to Haruko Haruhara, who is backstage now with Bugs Bunny!”

(Backstage)

With a microphone in hand, Haruko Haruhara stood in a hallway next to Bugs Bunny.

“Bugs Bunny. . .” Haruko asked, “. . .up next, you take on Mario and Garfield in a triple threat match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. Now, as we just saw, the next challenger for the title has been decided, so how are you feeling now, knowing that should you lose, you can’t compete for the title next time?

“First, Haruko, before I say anything on that, first off I want to congratulate Tai Kamiya on winning the March Majesty Tournament. He worked his ass off to get back to where he is now, and I wish him best of luck at Endgame. That being said, nothing against him, but he’ll need just that at Endgame, because come then, he’s going to face ME for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship! Like Tai, I’ve worked too long and hard over the most coveted prize in XCW since its inception! What we all just saw out there was hard work paying off for one of the best wrestlers in this industry, and right now, Haruko. . .it’s going to pay off again!”

(Commercial Break)

“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event for the evening. . .and it is a No-Countout. . .No-Disqualification. . .Triple Threat match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Plankton started to speak again.

“And now. . .please welcome, on commentary. . .the Interim Commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .JON ARBUCKLE!!!”

The crowd’s cheers turned into boos as Jon Arbuckle wheeled onto the stage. Jon turned to face Tai and Sora, who stared him down in distrust. Jon mouthed the word “Congratulations” to them before continuing to wheel down the ramp. around the ringside area, and pulled up next to Master Shake.

“How’s it going, Mr. Arbuckle?” Shake asked.

“It’s going well, I just offered congratulations to our first Majesty of March, and my back is healing up faster than expected!” Jon answered. “Now I’m just out here to supervise the main event and try my hand at commentary!”

“Well, you picked the right one to call tonight!” Early said. “Because this main event is set to be a great one! There is no love lost between these three men, especially with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship up for grabs!”

“Introducing first. . .the challengers. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!”

"Bad Man" by Jim Johnston played as Garfield stomped down the ramp, focusing only on the ring.

“There’s no doubt in my mind that Garfield is the clear favorite to win this match!” Jon said. “When you look at Garfield in the ring, you see more than just a giant cat. You see the most intimidating, powerful, and dominating specimen to ever compete inside the squared circle!”

Garfield stepped over all three ropes and glared around the arena with a look of anger.

“I’d agree with you if your opinion didn’t come without bias!” Early said. “You raised Garfield long before the days of XCW, and trained him to be the monstrous beast he is in the wrestling business today!”

“Bias?” Jon scoffed. “I’m just stating the truth!”

"What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage and walked up to Tai on the throne. Bugs offered him a handshake and Tai accepted it. 

“I still owe you one.” Bugs said to Tai before walking down the ramp.

"And his opponent. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!"

“Like Tai just now, Bugs Bunny is looking to put himself on the top of the mountain in this industry!” Early said. “He’s fought time and time again for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, but has gotten screwed over on almost every occasion. You’ve got to admire the undying spirit of the CWF Hall of Fame announcer as he continues to push himself higher on the list of the greatest cartoon wrestlers of all time!”

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

“And you have to think that the third time is the charm for Bugs Bunny!” Shake added. “This is his third pay-per-view main event where he will fight for the World Heavyweight Championship!”

“But if he doesn’t win the title, he’s gonna have to step aside for Tai Kamiya to fight for his shot at Endgame next month!” Jon informed. “This time, it’s win or go home for Bugs Bunny!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario ran onto the stage and down the ramp, with Mario raising his belt above his head toward the fans.

"From The Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. . .MARIO!"

“It’s already been a rough night for Mario and the Syndicate.” Early informed. “While Luigi successfully defended the Television title against Daffy Duck, Mario’s wife, Peach, lost the Women’s Championship to Nazz of D-Generation-Ed! And now the XCW World Heavyweight Champion finds himself with the odds against him in this triple threat match!”

Mario stood on a turnbuckle taunting the fans with the World title belt.

“You got that right!” Jon said in agreement. “Now the self-proclaimed ‘Champion of Life’ has to put that title and the World Heavyweight title on the line against the mastodon Garfield and his greatest XCW rival to this date, Bugs Bunny!”

“Mario was able to take Garfield down, with Bugs’ help surprisingly!” Shake said. “I have a feeling it’s gonna come down to Mario and Bugs just one more time!”

Mario stepped off the turnbuckle and immediately charged at Garfield with the World title belt! Bugs stopped him immediately, though, catching him with a waist lock as the bell rang and the match officially began! Mario fought out of the waist lock and clocked Bugs in the face repeatedly with vicious right hands until Garfield picked Mario up by the overalls and threw him to the other side of the ring! Garfield then lumbered over to Bugs and grabbed him by the shoulders, then threw him like a bag of potatoes across the ring! Mario then rose to his feet and charged at Garfield again, only for Garfield to take him back down with a headbutt! Garfield put his foot on Mario for the cover 1. . .Mario quickly kicked out! Mario then grabbed Garfield’s leg and swept it out from under him. Mario tried to lock Garfield into a Half Boston Crab but Bugs got back up, locked Mario into a waist-lock and took him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Garfield pulled Bugs off Mario and threw him over the ropes, and down to the ringside floor!

Garfield loomed over Mario and went to pick him up, only for Mario to scoot back into a corner, putting his hands up in front of him, begging for mercy. Garfield however, pressed a foot up against Mario’s face, pushing it against a bottom corner turnbuckle! Mario coughed and gasped for air, trying to scratch and kick Garfield off him but to no avail!

“Pain. Garfield is just putting the World Heavyweight Champion through non-stop pain right now!” Early said.

“And there’s nothing the referee can do about it!” Shake exclaimed. “There’s no disqualification!”

“Those are the rules of a triple threat match!” Jon said. “And Garfield is abiding by them! That’s the mark of a great champion!”

Garfield continued to choke Mario out in the corner until Bugs came around and swept Garfield’s other leg out from under him! Bugs then pulled Garfield out of the ring with all his might! Bugs then charged at Garfield and speared him up against the ring apron before sliding back into the ring. Bugs then picked Mario up and Irish whipped him into another corner. Mario bounced off the corner and Bugs took him down with a running powerslam! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out! Garfield rose up to his feet and started to climb back into the ring, only for Bugs to run against the ropes and knock Garfield back down to the ringside floor with a baseball slide! Bugs turned his attention back to Mario and kneed him in the gut. Bugs then set Mario up for the Bunny Bomb, but Mario countered it with a back body drop! Mario quickly went for the cover 1. . .Bugs kicked out! Mario brought Bugs back up to a standing position and Irish whipped him over the ropes and down to the ringside floor close to the announcer’s table! Mario picked Bugs up by the ears and went to slam his head into the ring post but Bugs got a hold of Mario and slammed him face-first into the post instead! Bugs then strode to the announcer’s table and took off the covering and the TV monitors!

“What the hell is he doing? This is totally unnecessary.” Jon exclaimed.

“Abiding by the rules, just like you said!” Early said. 

Bugs then came back to Mario and picked him up by the overalls. Bugs then threw Mario face-up onto the announcer’s table and pointed up at a top turnbuckle! The crowd cheered in excitement as Bugs slid back into the ring and climbed up a corner turnbuckle! Bugs then slapped his elbow three times in anticipation for the Acme Elbow Drop!

“Bugs looking to pull the thorn out of his side. . .” said Early, “. . .and take Mario out of the equation early!” 

Bugs leapt off the corner turnbuckle for the Acme Elbow Drop only for Garfield to come out of nowhere and catch him in mid-air!

“OH NO!!!” Early screamed, as Garfield lifted Bugs up with two hands by the throat, right above the table!

“Bugs only took Garfield out temporarily, and is now about to get what’s coming to him!” Jon said, as Garfield slammed Bugs on top of Mario with a two-handed chokebomb, putting him and Mario through the announce table at the same time!

“GOOD GOD!!!” Early yelled. “Our table has been destroyed, thanks to the monster Garfield! And both Bugs and Mario may have been broken right in half!”

Garfield pulled Mario and Bugs up to their feet and slid them both into the ring under the bottom rope. Garfield covered Bugs, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!! Garfield shot up from the cover in disbelief!!!

“Bugs’s spirit will never die, even after it’s been put through a table!” Shake commented as Garfield covered Mario! 1. . .2. . .MARIO KICKED OUT!!! Garfield looked down at Mario with an angry sneer!

“Garfield just put the champion and the challenger through the same table, and by God, they’re still not done!” Early said.

Garfield then lumbered over to Bugs and slammed his foot down onto his lower back! Bugs screamed and wheezed in agonizing pain as Garfield applied more pressure by pushing down on the top rope. Garfield continued to squeeze the life out of Bugs until Mario took Garfield down with a chop block! Mario then grabbed one of Garfield’s legs, spun him onto his chest and locked him into a single-leg Boston Crab! Garfield screamed in agonizing pain as he crawled quickly to the bottom rope. . .until Bugs Bunny suddenly grabbed Garfield’s other leg, and locked it in the ankle lock! Mario and Bugs then pulled Garfield back to the center of the ring and reapply their respective submission holds!

“MY GOD!” Early yelled. “The pain must be excruciating!”

“Mario and Bugs hinted at this last Monday!” Shake said. “And sure enough, they’re working together here to take out the legs of Garfield! Great strategy!”

Garfield screamed in agonizing pain as he crawled slowly toward the ropes. The referee knelt down and asked Garfield if he wanted to quit but Garfield ignored him, clawing his way toward the ropes. Garfield extended his hand out. . .

. . .inched closer to the ropes. . .

. . .and successfully grabbed onto the bottom rope, forcing Mario and Bugs to break their holds!

“The holds must be broken, but I think the damage has been done!” Early said as Bugs went for the cover on Garfield! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Mario pulled Bugs off Garfield and went for the cover himself! 1. . .2. . .Bugs broke up the three count! Garfield rolled out of the ring to collect himself as Bugs and Mario stood up to their feet and came face-to-face in the center of the ring in a staredown!

“Ohhh man. . .” Shake said in excitement. “These two men have been going at it since XCW’s inception!”

“And they look to go at it again, with the ring, for the time being, all to themselves!” Early said.

Mario and Bugs then break out into a fistfight, exchanging right hands as the crowd erupts into cheers! They continued to punch each other in the face until Bugs landed a surprise left hand before a right, after which Bugs grabbed Mario by the arm and Irish whipped him across the ring! After Mario bounced off the ropes, Bugs caught Mario and took him down with a Scoop Slam! Bugs picked Mario up as he looked up at the crowd in astonishment!

“This could be Bugs’ moment!” Early said, as Bugs set Mario up for the Bunny Bomb! Bugs lifted him up only for Mario to fall out of it and take Bugs down with a neckbreaker! Mario went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

BUGS’ FOOT WAS ON THE ROPES!!! Mario rolled off Bugs with a look of disappointment! Mario then stood back up and taunted for Bugs to stand up, but Bugs rolled out of the ring. Mario slid out of the ring too, meeting Bugs by the ring apron. Mario grabbed Bugs by the ears and pulled him away from the apron. . .unaware that Bugs pulled a mallet from under the ring! Mario turned Bugs to face him only to take a mallet shot right to the face from Bugs!

“BUGS WITH HIS SIGNATURE MALLET TO THE FACE OF OUR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!” exclaimed Early, as Bugs whacked Mario in the back with the mallet! Bugs then grabbed Mario by the overalls and threw him back into the ring, and sized him up while holding the mallet like a baseball bat!

“Bugs Bunny has put up with Mario for long enough!” Jon said. “He’s looking to finally put him away!”

Mario staggered up to his feet and slowly turned to face Bugs, who swung the mallet at Mario’s face! Mario ducked, however, and dodged the swing! Mario kneed Bugs in the gut and took him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex! 

“Mario has regained control, and is now looking to put this match away!” Early said.

Mario looked at the crowd and raised a peace sign at them, causing them to boo in return. Mario then pointed up to a corner turnbuckle and climbed to the top rope! 

“The Super Mario Syndicate just might stay alive, along with Mario’s World Title reign. . .” Jon exclaimed, “. . .with one emphatic Super Mario Splash!!!”

Mario leapt off the turnbuckle and landed the Super Mario Splash onto Bugs!!! Mario went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 GARFIELD PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!

“NO!!! Garfield’s back in this thing!” Early yelled as Garfield grabbed the referee by the throat and threw him against the barricade, knocking him out! Garfield then stumbled back into the ring over all three ropes and landed a huge falling elbow to Bugs’s sternum! Mario punched and kicked at Garfield’s sternum as he stood back up. Mario then landed a kick to Garfield’s leg, causing him to sell it pain. Mario then leapt up and took Garfield down with a DDT! All three men lay down in the center of the ring, exhausted!

“GARFIELD IS DOWN! BUGS IS DOWN! THE CHAMPION IS DOWN! WHO’S GONNA WALK OUT OF HERE TONIGHT AS THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION???” Early screamed!

“All the damage to the legs Garfield suffered throughout the match has definitely taken its toll!” Jon said, as Bugs staggered up to his feet, selling his chest. Bugs then picked Mario up by the overalls and put him in position for a powerbomb! Bugs raised a fist up as the crowd roared in excitement! Bugs lifted Mario up above his head and successfully landed the Bunny Bomb! 

“BUGS IS GONNA DO IT!!! GOING FOR THE COVER!!!” Early exclaimed as the referee slowly crawled back into the ring while Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 GARFIELD BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!! Bugs staggered up to his feet and landed a kick to Garfield’s right leg, sending Garfield down to his knees in pain! Bugs then looked from left to right around the arena in thought. . .then set Garfield up for a powerbomb!!!

“NO WAY!” Jon exclaimed.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” asked Shake.

“WILL BUGS EVEN BE ABLE TO LIFT HIM???” yelled Early, as Bugs tried to lift Garfield up for a Bunny Bomb. . .only for Garfield to fall on top of him for a cover! The referee made the count 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.99 BUGS KICKED OUT!!! Garfield looked down at Bugs then up at the referee in anger. Garfield stomped over to the referee, and roared in his face, backing him up in a corner! Garfield then lifted the referee up in a Military Press and threw him out of the ring!!

“Good God! Garfield has gone berserk!!!” Early exclaimed.

“When Garfield doesn’t get what he wants. . .” Jon said, “. . .he gets angry!”

Garfield then turned back to face Bugs, who hit Garfield in the face with a Karate Kick!! Garfield fell down to the mat in a daze as Bugs looked around at the fans, cheering wildly!

“WILL THIS BE THE FINAL STEP BUGS NEEDS TO FINALLY CLAIM THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP???” Early cried as Bugs stumbled up to the top rope. While Mario slowly staggered up to his feet in a daze, Bugs looked around at all the fans again and slapped his elbow three times. Bugs dove off the top rope for the Acme Elbow Drop. . .only for Garfield to grab him by the throat as he landed!

“OH MY GOD!” Early yelled.

“Bugs left an opening for Garfield!!!” Shake exclaimed as Garfield stood back up, keeping his grip on Bugs’ neck! Mario finally came to and charged at Garfield, only for Garfield to grab him by the throat as well!!! Garfield lifted Bugs and Mario up high above his shoulders and took them both down with a Double Chokeslam!!!

“GARFIELD CONNECTING WITH THE CHOKESLAMS!!!” Jon yelled. “COVER!!!”

Garfield laid on top of both Mario and Bugs, going for the cover!!!

“But there’s no referee!” Shake said, while Jon rushed to take his headphones off.

“As interim commissioner, I’m going to do what’s right!” Jon exclaimed as he wheeled up to the ring apron, got up from his wheelchair, climbed up the steel steps and entered the ring!

“WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!! ARBUCKLE COULD WALK THE WHOLE TIME???” Early exclaimed as Jon made the count! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!!! 

The bell rang as the crowd booed ravenously! Jon Arbuckle and Garfield got up, with Jon leaving the ring to grab the World title belt!

“The winner of this match. . .and. . .NEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. . .GARFIELD!!!!”

“WE’VE BEEN HAD, SHAKE!” Early screamed in anger. “ARBUCKLE HAD US FOOLED THE WHOLE TIME!!”

Jon gave the World title to Garfield and raised his arm in victory! Bugs and Mario rolled out of the ring while Tai and Sora stood up from the throne on the stage, their mouths agape in disbelief!

“WE’VE GOT A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!” shouted Early. “BUT CORRUPTION STILL REEKS IN XCW!”

Garfield and Jon came to the center of the ring and faced the stage, staring Tai down as he walked to the center of the ramp!

“Since Doomsday, we knew that it was far from over between Tai and Garfield. . .” Shake said.

Tai and Sora stared down Garfield and Jon from the ramp as March Majesty went off the air!

“. . .and at Endgame, it will be a rematch of rematches: The World Heavyweight Champion against the Majesty of March!”

And so concludes March Majesty. As always, let me know if there's anything that doesn't make sense, or if there are any character inconsistencies, and how I can improve my promo writing.

Also, real life is gonna be busy for me really soon, and plus I’ll be working on Destined, a second fic, along with this one, but I’ll do my best to update as soon as I can. Until I update next, RATE/GRADE/REVIEW!!!

Results

Tai Kamiya defeated Spike Spiegel (advanced to March Majesty finals)  
Luigi defeated Daffy Duck via submission (retained XCW Television Championship)  
Tommy Vercetti defeated Hotsuma (advanced to March Majesty finals)  
D-Generation-Ed defeated Ren & Stimpy in a Tables Match (retained XCW Tag Team Championships)  
Nazz defeated Peach (won XCW Women’s Championship)  
Tai Kamiya defeated Tommy Vercetti (won 2012 March Majesty Tournament)  
Garfield defeated Mario and Bugs Bunny (won XCW World Heavyweight Championship)


	15. XCW Massacre: April Week 1

Hey, guys! Sorry for the delay. Life's needed me. But to make up for the wait, I have posted this week’s entire episode into one big chapter! So without further ado, here’s the newest episode of Monday Night Massacre! I only own my championships.

One spotlight went up in the arena, revealing Jon Arbuckle standing in the middle of the ring, with a microphone in hand and an evil grin on his face as the crowd booed ravenously.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .” Jon said, “My name is Jonathan Q. Arbuckle. And as the interim commissioner of XCW, it is my honor and privilege to introduce to you. . .your NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. . .GAAARRRFIELD!!!”

All the lights went up in the arena and “Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played as Garfield stomped onto the entranceway with his arms out, and a wide smile on his face.

“Welcome to XCW Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen. . .” Early Cuyler said. “. . .where we are live tonight from Shugazoom City, fresh off our March Majesty pay-per-view, where Tai Kamiya defeated the Harwood Butcher Tommy Vercetti to become XCW’s first-ever March Majesty. But we start off tonight with a coronation of sorts for our new XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield!”

“You got that right!” Shake said in agreement. “Everyone thought Bugs Bunny was gonna finally achieve his goal in winning the XCW World Heavyweight Championship last night, only for Garfield to grab Bugs by the throat before he could land the Acme Elbow! After chokeslamming both Bugs and Mario, with no referee in sight, Garfield went for the cover. Our interim and “injured” commissioner, Jon Arbuckle, who was at ringside doing commentary, would wheel up to the ring, STAND UP from his wheelchair, walk into the ring and count the pin, making Garfield our new World Heavyweight Champion!”

Garfield stepped over all three ropes and glared around the arena at the fans, until he grabbed the World Heavyweight title belt and draped it over his shoulder.

“And in four weeks at Endgame, Garfield will defend the World title against the man who almost beat him in one-on-one action a month ago at Doomsday, XCW’s first Majesty of March: Tai Kamiya!” Early added. “There’s no question that’ll be one to remember. But the question on everyone’s mind right now is: why did Arbuckle fake his injury, and favor Garfield in the match last night? I have a feeling all those and more will be answered right now!”

Jon Arbuckle looked around the arena with a wide grin on his face at the fans who booed him and Garfield mercilessly.

“Ladies and gentlemen, last night was a history-making night for XCW! We crowned our first Majesty of March. . .

The crowd erupted into cheers and began to chant “TAI! TAI! TAI!”

“. . .we crowned a new Women’s Champion. . .but in just three months of existence, XCW finds itself on the precipice of greatness, because after March Majesty, we were recently named the number one rated company in all of fictional wrestling!

The crowd erupted into cheers and started to chant “X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!”. Jon smiled again and put the microphone up to his mouth.

“And I can only thank the people responsible for the greatest achievement in XCW’s history and those people are ME. . .and the NEW World Heavyweight Champion. . .GARFIELD!!!”

Garfield raised the World title belt above his head as the crowd erupted into boos upon Garfield’s mention.

“And I’m sure all you people want to know why I was able to and got involved in the triple threat match last night for the belt that Garfield now holds. I did it for the best interests of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. Garfield needed to walk out of March Majesty last night as the XCW World Heavyweight Champion to be the new face of the company. I couldn’t just sit there doing commentary with Early and Shake and watch a self-proclaimed ‘champion of life’ continue to hog the spotlight, or watch an icon of animation that was late to the wrestling party prove that he still has something left in a tank that’s running on empty! Why you people wanted to see either of those is nothing short of appalling!”

The crowd booed and chanted “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

“And conveniently. . .a week before the pay-per-view, through some amazing work of divine intervention, I magically healed from the injury I suffered at Doomsday, and did my job as Interim Commissioner to do what was right and fair. . .to make the three count and award the XCW World title belt to the champion standing before you now!”

The crowd continued to boo as Garfield raised the title belt above his head while yelling back at the crowd.

“Whether you like it or not, Garfield is the new face of XCW!” Jon continued. “He will represent our company proudly as our World Heavyweight Champion! No man has made a bigger impact in XCW since its inception than this man! No man has paved his way from the mid-card to the World title scene faster than this man! And no champion in this business puts his opponents through more pain and anguish than this man! If any man or champion steps toe-to-toe in the ring with Garfield, he will not leave under his own power! It doesn’t matter if you’re Lobo, Itachi Uchiha, hell, even the god Thor! You step in Garfield’s path, you will be annihilated!”

“And that brings me to Endgame; the next pay-per-view. . .sponsored by the XCW exclusive story: Destined. And who does it star? You guessed it. . .Sora Takenouchi. . .and her husband. . .the first-ever XCW Majesty of March. . .and Garfield’s opponent at Endgame. . .the urchin Tai Kamiya!” The crowd cheered upon Tai’s mention.

“And I personally couldn’t have thought of a better story title than Destined, because Garfield is destined to retain his title against Tai at Endgame. And let me tell you why! Tai may have won the March Majesty tournament to earn this shot, but with every accomplishment he’s achieved in his career, there’s an embarrassment to match it. He won the Toon WWE Championship. . .only for Ash Ketchum to put him through a table at Wrestlemania. He wins the Toon WCW Championship. . .only to later lose the Hardcore Championship to Kim Possible. He became XCW’s first-ever Television Champion. . .only to lose it in embarrassing fashion to Luigi, and lose again in even more embarrassing fashion to Garfield at Doomsday! And now---“ Jon said, until suddenly “This Fire Burns” played on the titantron!

“And right on cue comes Garfield’s opponent at Endgame: the 2012 Majesty of March!” Early exclaimed, as the crowd erupted into cheers upon Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi striding onto the stage and down the entrance ramp!

“Tai and Sora have heard enough out of Jon Arbuckle, and so has the capacity crowd!” Shake said, while Tai and Sora entered the ring with microphones in hand.

“Well, speak of the devil---“ Jon said until Tai abruptly put his microphone up to his mouth.

“Shut the hell up, Arbuckle!” Tai exclaimed into the microphone. “It’s no secret that you and Garfield have had it out for us since you became interim commissioner in February! You had your housepet-turned death machine beat me to a pulp, made fun of me for my past misfortunes in WWE, you screwed me out of a victory, and now you’ve lied to the world about your injury, just to screw Bugs out of becoming World Heavyweight Champion, and you’re taking our personal story and using it to make money! And considering your hatred for us, I won’t be surprised if it’s for YOUR personal gain instead of XCW’s!

This company may be number one in the ratings, but one thing that’s been apparent here since its inception is that the front offices reek of corruption! At first we all thought Space Ghost was bad when he touted Mario and the Syndicate! But then you took his place, and have tainted the legacy of this company ever since that day, hiding behind a desk instead of a giant orange cat! The real reason why XCW ranks first in the ratings, and why these fans are here right now is because our roster consists of the most talented characters in the entire fictionverse!”

Tai stopped talking as the crowd erupted into cheers. Jon tightened up his tie a bit before speaking into the microphone again.

“Mr. Kamiya. . .” Jon said, “. . .let me reassure you that everything I’ve done in my term as interim commissioner has been for the best interest of the company. Your story is only sponsoring Endgame for extra revenue for the company and nothing more---

“Oh really?” Sora interrupted. “Is it in the company’s best interest to barely showcase the women’s division? There have been more weeks without one-on-one women’s competition than with it! Is it in the company’s best interest to sideline one of its best wrestlers? And is it in the best interest of the company to insult and discriminate its own talent, like you did before Doomsday?”

“Arbuckle, after you verbally abused me two months ago, spearing you at Doomsday was satisfying, and injuring you was even more so. But when I stood next to Tai by the throne, and watched you stand up from your wheelchair under your own power, I felt more disgusted with you than anyone else I’ve ever worked for! As a multiple time Women’s Champion, I KNOW I don’t deserve any of your scrutiny!”

The crowd cheered while Jon let out a chuckle and put the microphone up to his mouth.

“How dare you even think I’ve neglected the Women’s Division, Ms. Takenouchi!” Jon said in response. “I’ll have you know that right after March Majesty, Peach came to me and demanded to use her rematch clause, and so Peach will take on Nazz for the Women’s title two weeks from now on Massacre! On top of that, to give the Women’s Division its time in the spotlight, I have been nice enough to make the Gauntlet match that you’ll be running as the main event of next week’s show!

And I never verbally abused you! Since your reign as the first Women’s Champion was so short, I thought a little motivation could help you improve! Because a title reign that was as short as yours doesn’t exactly scream ‘I’m a good wrestler---‘”

The crowd booed as Sora just looked at Jon, her eyes wide and mouth agape in disbelief.

“DON’T YOU DARE DISRESPECT MY WIFE!” Tai yelled. “Sora and I come out here and put our lives on the line just to put on a show for all these fans every single week, and the fact that you’re disrespecting us, and using our personal story to make a quick buck makes me SICK! But all the corruption and deceit that has plagued this company since day one will come to an end. Because at Endgame, I will do what I should’ve done two months ago, and defeat your monster to become the new XCW World Heavyweight Champion! And once I do that. . .I will represent this company better than both Mario and Garfield combined! And that is as the best wrestler in this industry!”

Jon opened his mouth to speak into the microphone. 

“Temper, temper, Mr.---“

Suddenly, Garfield pulled the microphone out of Jon’s hands and put it up to his mouth, staring Tai square in the face, and holding the World title belt out in front of him.

“If we can’t disrespect your wife. . .then you can’t disrespect Jon! This man saw me carrying this belt long before this company began, and built me into the champion that you see right now! This belt in my hand is proof that I am the best wrestler in this industry!” Garfield said. “And for disrespecting my owner and our commissioner, I will prove to you that I’m the best up until Endgame. . .because come that night, I will have destroyed you physically. . .I will have destroyed you emotionally. . .and I will have destroyed you in the worst way possible. . .so that by the time we lock eyes, and that bell rings. . .you won’t be able to put up a fight. I’ve beaten you once before, and I’ll beat you again. . .and this time, with even less MERCY!”

Garfield dropped the microphone and continued to stare Tai down until Sora gently pushed Tai away from him in consolation. Tai and Sora left the ring while Garfield and Jon looked on, with Garfield holding the World title belt above his head.

(Commercial Break) 

“We’re back live on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, and Shake, Endgame may be a ways away, but the tempers between Tai and Garfield have already flared big time!” Early said.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “Garfield himself vowed to destroy Tai in the worst way possible! Considering he’s beaten Tai to a pulp before, I can only imagine what the worst way of destruction could be.”

Early nodded. “It’s a scary thought. . .but right now ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to turn our attention to the ring, where two of the South Park Four will make their XCW debut!”

Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!”

“Unstable” by Adema played as Scorpion and Sub-Zero walked down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .from the Earthrealm. . .the team of SUB-ZERO AND SCORPION!!!”

“The last time we saw Scorpion and Sub-Zero together, they were in the same ring competing against each other for a spot in the March Majesty Tournament!” informed Early.

“But now they’re back as a tag team, and can make a big splash in the tag team division with a win against two men that are making their XCW debut here tonight!” Shake said.

Scorpion and Sub-Zero entered the ring and looked down the ramp in anticipation.

“And their opponents. . .making their Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .”

Glass shattered on the titantron and the crowd erupted into a standing ovation! Immediately afterwards, “What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played, and Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman ran onto the stage and saluted the crowd!

“. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .KENNY MCCORMICK AND ERIC CARTMAN!!!”

“This sold out crowd has erupted for the arrival of Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick!” Early exclaimed.

Kenny and Cartman ran down the ramp and entered the ring, posing on opposing turnbuckles.

“No kidding!” Shake added. “These two men came and saw many tag team divisions in other companies, and conquered them all! And they look to do the same here in XCW!”

The bell rang and the match began with Kenny facing off against Sub-Zero. Kenny and Sub-Zero paced around the ring, staring each other down before meeting in the center of the ring for a tie-up. Sub-Zero put Kenny into a headlock only for Kenny to push Sub-Zero up against the ropes. Kenny fought out of the headlock and ran against the ropes on the other side of the ring. On the bounceback, Kenny leapt and took down Sub-Zero with a Flying Headscissor takedown! Kenny quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sub-Zero kicked out! Kenny picked Sub-Zero up and Irish whipped him into a corner. Kenny ran toward Sub-Zero and dropkicked him into the gut, sending him into a seated position. Kenny then drug Sub-Zero into the center of the ring, and leapt onto the top rope. Kenny waited for Sub-Zero to stand up before taking him back down with Whisper in the Wind! Kenny went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sub-Zero kicked out!

Kenny picked Sub-Zero up only for Sub-Zero to knee him into the gut and Irish whip him into his corner. Sub-Zero tagged in Scorpion and they proceeded to stomp a mudhole into Kenny. Scorpion then Irish whipped Kenny into the opposite corner. Kenny bounced hard off the corner and Scorpion immediately ran towards him and took him down with a lariat! Scorpion then picked Kenny up into a front face lock and took him down with a piledriver! Scorpion went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out!

“Scorpion and Sub-Zero regaining the advantage against two of the South Park Four!” Early said.

Scorpion then turned Kenny onto his chest and locked him in the camel clutch! Kenny let out muffled screams through his coat while the referee knelt down and asked him if he wanted to quit. Kenny shook his head no and tried rolling out of the hold but to no avail! After a while, Kenny managed to kick his legs out of the hold, and pull himself back up to a standing position, with the hold still locked into Kenny’s head! Kenny, however, elbowed Scorpion’s gut repeatedly to break out of the hold completely, then took Scorpion down with a jumping Tornado DDT! Kenny went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Scorpion kicked out!

Scorpion jumped back onto his feet and he and Kenny charged into a tie-up. Scorpion put Kenny into a wrist-lock and Irish whipped him into a corner. Scorpion charged at Kenny for multiple shoulder thrusts but Kenny slid under Scorpion’s legs and took him down with a Hurricanrana! Kenny then ran toward the ropes and landed a springboard moonsault onto Scorpion! Kenny went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Scorpion kicked out!!! Kenny rolled off Scorpion and crawled toward Cartman for the cover, while Scorpion crawled toward Sub-Zero!

“Both men are down! Who will gain the advantage by tagging in his partner first?” asked Early.

Cartman and Sub-Zero extended their hands out. . .Kenny and Scorpion inched closer to them. . .

. . .and successfully made the tag to their respective partners!!! Cartman and Sub-Zero charged toward each other, and Cartman took Sub-Zero down with a clothesline! Cartman ran against the ropes behind him and took Sub-Zero down with a shoulder block! Cartman ran against the ropes in front of him and landed a Lou Thesz Press onto Sub-Zero, then hammered away at his face with thunderous right hands! Cartman got off Sub-Zero and yelled in intensity! Cartman then climbed up onto the second rope. . .sized Sub-Zero up and went for a Big Splash only for Sub-Zero to catch him in mid-air and take him down with a fall away slam! Scorpion suddenly ran into the ring and went to kick Cartman back down only for Cartman to grab onto Scorpion’s legs and slingshot him out of the ring!

Sub-Zero taunted for Cartman to turn around. . .completely unaware that Kenny was right behind him, perched onto a top turnbuckle! Kenny dove off the top rope and hit a missile dropkick to Sub-Zero’s back, trapping Sub-Zero’s head in between the top and middle rope! Kenny ran toward the ropes and nailed Sub-Zero with the 303 (619)!!! Dazed, Sub-Zero turned around for Cartman to kick him in the gut and take him down with the South Park Stunner!!! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

The bell rang and Cartman stood up, yelling “YEAH!” in victory!

“Here are your winners. . .the team of Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman!!!”

Kenny slid back into the ring and the referee raised both their arms in victory.

“And the icons of the South Park Four pick up the victory in their debut!” Early said, as Kenny and Cartman posed on two turnbuckles toward the fans.

“Give a lot of credit to Scorpion and Sub-Zero, but these two men made an emphatic debut!” Shake said. “And later on tonight, we will see the leaders of the South Park Four in tag team action!”

(Backstage)

Carl Brutanandilewski stood in a hallway with a microphone in hand with Tommy Vercetti, who had the Hardcore title belt draped over his shoulder.

“Tommy Vercetti,” Carl asked, “last night you came just short of winning the March Majesty tournament against Tai Kamiya. Now, up next you defend the XCW Hardcore Championship in a triple threat match against Hotsuma and Solid Snake. What’s going through your mind as you go into this next match?”

“You think I’m the kind of guy to dwell on the past?” Tommy asked. “I’m the XCW Hardcore Champion for a reason, Carl. Under hardcore rules, I can take out my disappointment and frustration that I felt last night with no holding back whatsoever! Solid Snake knows what I’m capable of in a Hardcore match, and as for Hotsuma? Last night, there were rules between him and I. Tonight, he will face the real Harwood Butcher! Arbuckle may have booked me in this match as punishment for being late last night, but I personally don’t see this as punishment. For me, it’s pleasure!”

Tommy stepped away from Carl and down the hallway.

(Commercial Break)

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .it is a Triple Threat match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship!”

“Wayfarer” by Kavinsky played as an ATV rode down the ramp, with Tommy Vercetti inside it, as the crowd erupted into cheers!

“Introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

Tommy rode the ATV around the ringside area, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp, with the hood facing the stage. Tommy stepped out of the ATV with a steel chair in hand, and threw it into the ring before pulling out more weapons from under the ring apron.

“We’re back live on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, where we are about to see March Majesty Finalist, and current XCW Hardcore Champion, Tommy Vercetti defend his title against Solid Snake and Hotsuma.” Early said. “This match was made by Jon Arbuckle out of spite for Tommy Vercetti, after he showed up late to the March Majesty pay-per-view!”

Tommy slid into the ring under the ropes and raised the Hardcore title belt above his head toward the fans.

“And he showed up late because he invaded WWE: Animated’s Royal Rumble just to soften up Deadpool for his match this Saturday against our own Claude Speed, where there will be No Holds Barred, Falls Counting Anywhere, and no more talking!” Shake explained. 

Tommy picked the steel chair back up and held it in his hands, looking down the ramp in anticipation.

“And we will be joined by Claude Speed later tonight via satellite as we ask him about his thoughts on the Royal Rumble last night, resurrecting Hardcore wrestling, and much more!“ Early said. “But right now, his partner in crime, Tommy Vercetti, is putting his Hardcore Championship on the line!”

“And his opponent. . .” said Plankton, as the entire arena became engulfed in red light! A wide smile formed on Tommy’s face in excitement.

“Tommy eager to see one of his opponents last night---“ said Early, until the show went backstage, where Hotsuma and Snake laid unconscious!

“OH MY GOD!” Early cried. “Hotsuma and Snake are down and out! But if these aren’t Hotsuma’s red lights. . .whose are they?”

Tommy stared at the titantron in confusion. Suddenly. . .blood appeared on the titantron and. . .

. . .the song “Left Foot Trapped in a Sensual Seduction” played!

“Oh no. . .” Early said, as Alucard stepped onto the entraceway!

“AND HIS OPPONENT. . .representing The Immortals of WWE: Animated. . .from Parts Unknown. . .ALUCARD!!!”

Alucard stalked down the ramp, his eyes staring Tommy down.

“At the Royal Rumble last night, after being eliminated by Alucard himself, Tommy later ran back down to the ring and assisted Vegeta in eliminating Alucard!” informed Early. “And Alucard looks to be out for more than just revenge tonight. . .he’s out for blood!”

Alucard climbed up onto the ring apron and stepped over all three ropes, still glaring at Tommy as he stood in the center of the ring.

“Tommy’s getting what he deserves tonight!” exclaimed Shake. “And speaking of which, Deadpool should be thanking Tommy for his Royal Rumble victory! Because Tommy was dumb enough to fail to notice that Deadpool wasn’t knocked out after Tommy’s attack! Tommy stuck his nose in WWE’s business and even failed to do what he set out to do! And for his sake, I hope Hotsuma and Snake knock some sense into him tonight!”

Alucard slowly raised his arms up above his head and furiously threw them back down at his sides, causing pyro to emit from all four corners of the ring!

“Well, Alucard certainly has Tommy thrown for a loop, but. . .here we go! The Harwood Butcher not wasting any time against the vampire Alucard!”

The lights went back up as the bell rang, and Tommy immediately charged at Alucard, hitting him in the gut with the top edge of the steel chair! Tommy hit Alucard again with the edge of the chair then ran against the ropes with the chair raised above his head until Alucard kicked the chair right into his face with a massive Big Boot! Alucard then picked Tommy up by the shirt and threw him over the ropes and down to the floor! From the ring apron, Alucard grabbed Tommy’s arm, and jumped down, taking Tommy down with a variation of Old School! Alucard pulled Tommy up to his feet and slapped him in the chest with a thunderous chop! Alucard then took Tommy down with a gutwrench takedown! Alucard went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!

Alucard picked Tommy up by the shirt and Irish whipped him toward the barricade close to the announce table. . .only for Tommy to hang on and counter with an Irish whip of his own, sending Alucard crashing back-first into the barricade! Tommy charged toward Alucard and sent him flying over the barricade into the crowd! Tommy then strode over to the announce table and ripped off the protective covering, along with all three TV monitors! 

“What’s Tommy thinking here?” Early wondered.

“You klll a vampire by driving a stake through it instead of driving it through a table!” Shake yelled, while Tommy looked under the ring and pulled out a barbed-wire wrapped baseball bat. The crowd chanted “CLAUDE! CLAUDE! CLAUDE!” as Tommy raised Claude’s signature weapon above his head! Tommy turned back around only for Alucard to have leapt off the barricade and knock him down with a Flying Clothesline, which rammed the barbed-wire bat right into Tommy’s face!

“OH MY GOD!” screamed Early. “Tommy looked to honor Claude tonight with his signature weapon. . .but it hit him right back in the face!”

Alucard looked at his arm and saw that it was bleeding, but paid no mind to it as he pulled Tommy back up by the hair, revealing Tommy’s face to be bleeding profusely! Alucard kneed Tommy in the gut and Irish whipped him hard up against the announce table! Alucard then swung the bat and nailed Tommy in the face again, knocking him down to his hands and knees! Alucard sized Tommy up and whacked him in the back with the barbed wire bat!

“We’ve never seen Tommy this vunerable before!’ Early said. “Alucard’s beating him at his own game!”

Alucard turned to look at the announce table, then back down to Tommy. Alucard pulled Tommy up by the collar of his shirt, then took him down with a Backbreaker! Alucard went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!!! Alucard got up from the cover in shock. . .until he glanced at the steel steps! Alucard lumbered over to the steel steps and picked them up out of the corner, then dropped them in front of the announce table!

“Oh no. . .evil intentions are running through the mind of Alucard right now!” Early said, as Alucard walked up the steps, pulling Tommy up by the shirt.

“He’s getting his revenge right here and right now!” Shake added as Alucard grabbed Tommy by the throat! He lifted Tommy up above his head for a Chokeslam. . .

. . .only for Tommy to headbutt Alucard, causing Alucard to drop him back on the top step! Tommy nailed Alucard in the face with right hand after right hand, followed by a kick to the gut. Tommy then hooked Alucard’s arms. . .

. . .and took him down with a Double-Arm DDT right through the announce table!!! Both men lay down on top of the rubble!

“BY GOD! TOMMY JUST DROVE THE VAMPIRE RIGHT THROUGH OUR TABLE! AND THIS COULD BE THE OPENING HE NEEDED!” yelled Early, as Tommy slowly rolled Alucard over for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Alucard kicked out!!

“And the immortal Alucard can’t be put away!” Early said, as Tommy rolled off Alucard and stumbled up to his feet, pulling Alucard up by the hair and sliding him back into the ring. Tommy slid in behind him and waited for Alucard to get back up to his feet. Alucard got back up to his feet and Tommy nailed him in the face repeatedly with a fury of right hands, which backed him up against the ropes. Tommy then Irish whipped Alucard against the ropes, and slipped a pair of brass knuckles on his hand during the bounceback. Tommy then landed a Lou Thesz Press, then repeatedly nailed Alucard in the face with furious right and left hands, with the right fist full of brass knuckles! Tommy got up and yelled in intensity, while Alucard pulled himself back up to his feet. Tommy turned back around only for Alucard to clothesline him into the corner behind him! Alucard then repeatedly kicked Tommy in the gut until he fell into a seated position. Alucard then pressed his foot up against Tommy’s neck, viciously choking him!

“How embarrassing would it be for XCW to lose the Hardcore title to someone outside this company?” Shake asked.

“It would be embarrassing, but I don’t think this match is about the Hardcore title to Alucard!” Early answered. “All he cares about tonight is vengeance!”

Alucard pulled Tommy into the center of the ring and grabbed him by the throat with both hands, viciously choking him again! Alucard pulled Tommy up to a standing position and drug him over to a pile of weapons. Alucard then lifted Tommy up and chokebombed him onto a trash can! Alucard went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! Alucard couldn’t believe it! He looked down at Tommy with wide eyes and did the cut throat taunt! Alucard grabbed a table laying on the mat and set it up in the center of the ring before reaching into his pocket for something. . .Alucard’s hand left his jacket revealing a small book of matches and a canister of lighter fluid!

“NO WAY!” Shake screamed in awe as Alucard saturated the table in lighter fluid, completely unaware that Tommy had staggered up to his feet behind him. Alucard then lit a match and threw it onto the table, completely engulfing the table in flames!

“THINGS ARE HEATING UP HERE IN SHUGAZOOM CITY!!” Shake yelled.

Alucard looked at the flaming table with a sadistic smile on his face. . .until Tommy Vercetti tied up Alucard’s arms, lifted him up. . .and took him down with the Vercetti Driver!!! 

“AND TOMMY FROM OUT OF NOWHERE DROPPED THE VAMPIRE ONTO HIS HEAD!” Early screamed as Tommy rolled in for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 ALUCARD KICKED OUT!!! Tommy punched the mat repeatedly in frustration!!! 

“The Harwood Butcher has his work cut out for him tonight, in his toughest test to date as the Hardcore Champion!” said Early, while Tommy struggled back up to his feet. He sized Alucard up as he rose to his knees. Tommy ran towards Alucard for a high knee to the face. . .only for Alucard to kick him down with a Big Boot! Alucard then pulled a black glove out of his jacket pocket and put it on his right hand, then held it up, taunting for a Chokeslam!

Alucard circled around Tommy as he stumbled up to his feet. Once Tommy got into a standing position, Alucard Grabbed him by the throat. . .

. . .AND CHOKESLAMMED TOMMY THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!!!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Early screamed as he watched Tommy’s body tremble from the impact of the flames. “HE’S ON FIRE!”

Amongst the small flames and burnt wood, Alucard crawled over Tommy for the cover! 1. . .

“NO!”

2\. . .

“NOT THIS WAY!!!”

. . .3!!!

“DAMN IT!” yelled Early, as the bell rang and the crowd erupted into boos!

“The winner of this match. . .AND. . .NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .ALUCARD!!!”

Alucard stood over Tommy and the referee raised his arm in victory before handing him the XCW Hardcore title belt.

“Tommy put Alucard through a hell of a fight. . .” Shake said, “. . .but in the end, Alucard chokeslammed The Harwood Butcher into the fires of Hell, and now this vampire is the new Hardcore Champion!”

Alucard draped the title belt over his shoulder and stepped over all three ropes, down to the ringside floor. He walked backwards up the ramp, staring down Tommy, who crawled over to the ropes and tried to pull himself up, but to no avail.

“Yeah, he’s the new Hardcore Champion. . .” Early said in disgust, “. . .and I don’t like it one bit! First the Immortals stole the Royal Rumble, and the right to face the Toon World Champion at Wrestlemania, now they’ve stolen our Hardcore Championship! They want to take over the entire industry, and they’re well on their way to doing it!”

Alucard stopped walking at the entranceway and raised the belt above his head, to massive boos from the crowd!

(Backstage)

Carl Brutanandilewski stood in a hallway with a microphone in hand next to Bugs Bunny.

“Bugs Bunny,” Carl asked, “. . .last night at March Majesty you were inches away from winning the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, but in the end, you lost to Garfield. What are your plans going forward now that the World title match is set for Endgame?”

“Well, Doc. . .” Bugs said, “. . .how the main event ended last night broke my heart. As you and all the XCW fans know, nothing matters to me more than winning the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. But if I have to move on for now, I shall, and wish Tai the best of luck at Endgame. But in the meantime, I will continue to do my part in not only keeping XCW at the top of the ladder in this industry, but also to make it better by being the best in-ring performer to walk these hallways---“

“Blah, blah, blah, blah blah!” said Luigi mockingly, as he stepped into frame to Bugs’ left with the Television title belt around his waist.

“If you were the best in-ring performer in all of XCW, you would’ve beaten Mario at least once out of the fifty bajillion times you two fought, and held a title! My brother was right all along, you’re just an old has-been that started his wrestling career too little, too late!”

Bugs turned toward Luigi and stared at him face-to-face.

“Well, your brother ain’t so great either.” Bugs replied. “He lost the main event last night too, but he has to live with being called the FORMER XCW World Heavyweight Champion. But he can’t live with it, so he didn’t even show up here tonight! Shows what kind of a man he is. . .and you too, for that matter! You’ve done nothing but taint the Television Championship since you’ve won it! So my first step in making XCW an even better company. . .is to challenge you for the TV title right here, tonight! I will bring prestige and legitimacy back to that belt you’re wearing around your waist! What do you say to that, Green Mario?”

“You’re on!” Luigi responded. “If my brother can beat you on more than one occasion, I can beat you no problem! See you in the ring, ‘wabbit!’”

Luigi strode away from Bugs, who stared him down angrily.

(Commercial Break)

(Announcer’s Table)

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, I gotta tell you, I’m excited for tonight’s main event!” Early said in excitement.

“I am too, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “As we just saw, Luigi will put the XCW Television Championship on the line against Bugs Bunny! I can’t wait!”

“Another match none of us can wait for is the epic battle this Saturday night on WWE: Animated, where our own Claude Speed will take on WWE’s Toon Hardcore Champion, Deadpool, in a Falls Count Anywhere match! And joining us now, live via satellite is none other than the four-time XCW Hardcore Champion, Claude Speed! Now Claude, since we haven’t seen you on XCW in almost a month, I have to ask you personally, how are you?”

On the titantron, Claude sat in a fancy hotel room on the foot of a bed.

“Honestly, Early, I don’t know.” Claude said. “While Vince McMahon himself has paid for all my expenses here as a guest of the WWE, and put me in a hotel just ten minutes away from the arena here, I just saw Alucard of the Immortals steal our Hardcore title belt, just like how Deadpool stole the Royal Rumble win from Dan Kuso! I am gonna be pissed off come Saturday, and Deadpool and everybody that’s stepped in the ring with me knows and has felt the pain I inflict on people whenever I’m pissed off!”

“Claude, we all feel the same level of anger as you do right now.” Early said. “And after Deadpool stole his Rumble victory, it’s safe to say that your hatred for the Merc With A Mouth has reached unprecedented levels. But for you and your career so far, your upcoming match has an unprecedented scale. Do you feel any pressure going into Saturday?”

“There are as many pressures on me as there are rules in this match.” Claude answered. “XCW is number one in the ratings, and I am one of the best Hardcore wrestlers to date in this industry. There’s only one thing I have to prove this Saturday, and that is that Deadpool is nothing but a loudmouth man-child. And I hope Deadpool is watching this right now because let me say this: if Alucard or any of the Immortals get involved in this match, it’s only gonna prove that he can’t achieve anything without his boss making things easy for him! If he can’t face me one-on-one in a brawl that could go all over Japan, then he doesn’t deserve to fight in the main event at Wrestlemania!”

“Claude, the ferocity you’re showing us right now mimics the same intensity you’ve shown in the ring since XCW began. In doing that, you have made your case for being the best example of a Hardcore Champion.” Early complemented. “It’s been said that one of the reasons XCW is in the position it’s in right now is because guys like you, Tommy, Snake, and the rest of our Hardcore division have resurrected no-holds barred wrestling, which dated back to the early 90s with ECW. How does it feel knowing you’ve revived that style of a match?”

“That. . .wow. . .” Claude said in awe. “The guys in that era are definitely influences of mine, and to say people like Tommy and I brought it all back, hell, even to put us in the same sentence with them is an absolute honor. An honor that I will certainly carry with me when I step into the arena on Saturday!”

“Claude, we’ll get you out of here on this: what does winning this match on Saturday mean to you?” Early asked.

“It means that Deadpool won’t make it to next Saturday night, let alone Wrestlemania! It means that I reign supreme over every Hardcore wrestler in this industry. And it means that Deadpool will have finally learned to keep his mouth shut, because after Saturday. . .he won’t be able to speak again.”

“Thank you for joining us, Claude!” Early said. “And good luck this Saturday!”

(Commercial Break)

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!”

All the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly an ambulance siren, followed by "YOU EEEDIOT!" then Scott Steiner's TNA music played, with pyro going off on the titantron. Ren and Stimpy walked onto the stage and down the ramp.

"Introducing first. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .REN AND STIMPY!"

“Last night at March Majesty, Ren and Stimpy came so close and yet so far from regaining the XCW Tag Team title belts in their tables match against D-Generation Ed!” Early said.

Ren and Stimpy posed on opposite turnbuckles.

“They did, indeed!” Shake agreed. “Especially with the help of their then-manager, Kevin! But in the end, Kevin’s hatred for the Eds got to him, and D-Ed remains the tag team champions, while Kevin is no longer a manager, and Ren and Stimpy are right back to where they started! But with a win tonight against the debuting leaders of the South Park Four, they can get back on the right track!”

Ren and Stimpy stood in the center of the ring, staring down the ramp in excitement.

“And their opponents. . .making their Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .”

“What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played, and Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh ran onto the stage and saluted the crowd, which gave them a standing ovation!

“. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .KYLE BROFLOVSKI AND STAN MARSH!!!”

“And this crowd giving the South Park Four leaders a welcome equally big as the one they gave Cartman and Kenny earlier tonight!” Early observed.

Stan and Kyle ran down the ramp and entered the ring, posing on opposing turnbuckles.

“You got that right!” Shake said. “As exciting as it was to watch Kenny and Cartman earlier, I can’t wait to see what Stan and Kyle are bringing to the table here in XCW!”

The bell rang and the match began with Stan facing off against Ren. Ren and Stan met up in the center of the ring and got into a tie-up. Stan put Ren into a wrist lock and wrenched on his hand before moving back behind him. Stan picked Ren up for a back drop but Ren fell out of it and kicked Stan in the back of the leg. Ren latched onto Stan’s shoulders and went for a Reverse DDT but Stan spun out of it and took Ren down with a clothesline! Stan brought Ren back up to his feet only for Ren to kick him in the shin and take him down with a neckbreaker! Ren went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out! Ren picked Stan up to a standing position and hit him in the chest with a chop! Ren went for another chop only for Stan to grab onto it, and with his other hand, he slapped Ren in the chest with chops of his own until he was backed up against the ropes. Stan then Irish whipped Ren across the ring toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Stan caught Ren and took him down with a Gutbuster! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ren kicked out!

Stan picked Ren up and threw him into his corner before tagging in Kyle. Kyle entered the ring and, along with Stan, Irish whipped him into the opposite corner. Ren bounced hard out of the corner but Stimpy managed to tag himself in. Kyle and Stan then caught Ren and took him down with a double suplex! Stan slid out of the ring, leaving Kyle with Stimpy, who punched him in the face with right hand after right hand until he was backed into a corner. Stimpy then punched Kyle in the face and gut before backing up. . .and successfully landing a running splash onto Kyle! Stimpy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kyle kicked out! Stimpy ran against the ropes and went for a falling elbow but Kyle rolled out of the way! Kyle then stood up and kicked Stimpy in the midsection before taking him down with an Atomic Drop! Kyle then locked in a Figure Four Leg Lock as the crowd began to chant “WOOOO!” 

“And Kyle has the Figure Four Leg Lock locked in!” Early called. “Shades of Ric Flair! Will Stimpy tap?”

Stimpy screamed in agonizing pain as he inched closer to his corner, where Ren stood in anticipation for a tag! The referee asked Stimpy if he wanted to quit but Stimpy shook his head no. Stimpy extended his hand out. . .reached for Ren’s hand. . .but grabbed onto the ropes instead, forcing Kyle to break the hold! Kyle pulled Stimpy into the center of the ring and went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicked out! Kyle taunted for Stimpy to get up while he slowly rose up to his feet. Stimpy faced Kyle, who leapt for a Cutter but Stimpy shoved him toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Stimpy caught Kyle and took him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Stimpy then walked over to a corner and climbed up to the top rope! Stimpy jumped off for the Stimpy Splash but Kyle rolled out of the way, causing Stimpy to land hard on the mat! Kyle and Stimpy laid down in the center of the ring, rolling and crawling to their corners for a tag!

“These two teams have put on a hell of a show!” Shake said.

“You’re absolutely right, Shake!” Early agreed. “Who will gain the advantage?”

Ren and Stan stood in their respective corners slapping their top turnbuckles in anticipation for a tag! Stimpy and Kyle inched closer. . .extended their hands out. . .and successfully made tags to Stan and Ren! They charged toward each other until Stan caught Ren into a waist-lock and lifted him up, taking him down with a German suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Ren kicked out! Stan sized Ren up as he stood up to his feet and kicked him in the gut. Stan went for a South Park Stunner but Ren pushed him toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Ren leapt up and took Stan down with Flying Headscissors! Stan then pulled himself back up with the ropes until Ren ran toward him and slammed him face-first onto the mat with a bulldog! Ren drug Stan back into the ring and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Kyle broke up the three count! Ren stood back up and caught Kyle into a waist-lock, then took him down with a reverse DDT! Then, from out of nowhere, Stimpy climbed onto the top rope and took down Stan with the Stimpy Splash!

“The former tag team champions now gaining the upper hand on the Leaders!” Early said, as Ren and Stimpy picked Stan up. Ren Irish whipped Stan while Kyle slid back into the ring, right behind Stimpy! Ren went to pick Stan up for the R&S Death Drop but Stan kicked Ren in the chest, then swept his legs out from under him and locked him in the Sharpshooter! Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Kyle took Stimpy down and locked him in the Figure Four Leg Lock again! Ren and Stimpy screamed in agonizing pain and were forced to tap out!

The bell rang as Stan and Kyle let go of their submission holds and high fived in the center of the ring in celebration!

“The winners of this match. . .the team of KYLE BROFLOVSKI AND STAN MARSH!!!”

The referee raised Stan and Kyle’s arms in victory!

“And in their debut matches, the South Park Four are 2-0!” Early said. “Stan and Kyle put on a wrestling clinic tonight, and showed to us all that they were worth the hype!”

Stan and Kyle then climbed up opposing turnbuckles and posed toward the fans.

“What a night for these four men! What do our tag team champions have to say?”

(Backstage) 

Carl Brutanandilewski stood in a hallway with a microphone in hand, right next to Ed and Edd.

“D-Generation Ed, you two are coming off your toughest title defense to date, but after watching the South Park Four in their debut tonight, I wanted to ask what your thoughts were about them?”

“Well, Carl. . .” Edd said, “Ed and I are always happy to welcome new competition, especially prestigious competition like the South Park Four. Tonight marked the first time we saw them compete since CWF, and I eagerly look forward to—“

Ed took the microphone from Carl’s hand.

“SOUTH PARK FOUR! You guys were nothing special in CWF, and you didn’t raise my eyebrow with your victories tonight, either! You want to prove to us you’re worth the hype? We invite you to be our guests next week on The Ed Factor! Come on the show and persuade me and Double D that you guys are all that and a ladle of gravy! Mmm. . .gravy. . .”

Edd pushed Ed out of frame and away from the camera.

“Ed. . .remember when we said that I would speak for the team?”

(Commercial Break)

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event for the evening. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Championship!!!”

"What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“We’re back live on Monday Night Massacre officially ready for our main event, which features Bugs Bunny going for the Television Championship!” Shake said.

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

“You’re absolutely right, Shake!” Early said. “Bugs Bunny has tried time and time again to become the XCW World Heavyweight Champion since the beginning of XCW, only to end up losing them all! But tonight he’s looking to unplug the Super Mario Syndicate from life support by winning the TV title from this man!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage raising a peace sign and the Television title belt above his head, towards the ring.

"And his opponent. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .LUIGI!"

The crowd booed as Luigi strode down the ramp.

“How is this the final fight for the Super Mario Syndicate to stay alive?” Shake asked. “They already lost the holy grail of this company last night!”

Luigi entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

“You’re right about that.” Early said. “But the fact that Mario and Peach didn’t even show up to the arena tonight after losing their respective World Heavyweight and Women’s Championships, it’s safe to say they’re hiding in shame! But with a win tonight against his older brother’s rival, Luigi can provide a small glimmer of hope to the Syndicate!”

The bell rang and the match began with Bugs and Luigi in a tie-up. Bugs locked Luigi in a head lock and took him down with a side headlock takedown! He wrenched the hold onto Luigi’s neck until Luigi kicked him in the back of the head, forcing Bugs to let go. Upon standing up to his feet, Luigi put Bugs in a front face lock and went for a DDT but Bugs countered it into a back body drop! Bugs then ran against the ropes behind him and landed a falling elbow to Luigi’s sternum! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out! 

Bugs picked Luigi up to his feet only for Luigi to shove him back. Luigi then slapped Bugs in the chest with chop after chop until Bugs was backed up against the ropes. Luigi then nailed Bugs in the jaw with a European uppercut that sent him tumbling over the ropes and down to the ringside floor! Luigi left the ring but stood on the ring apron, sizing Bugs up. Bugs got back up to his feet only for Luigi to take him back down with a Crossbody from the ring apron! Luigi got up and stood over Bugs as the referee began the ten count!

“Will Luigi use the Champion’s Advantage or will Bugs regain control?” Early said as he called the match.

Luigi picked Bugs up to his feet and put him in a wrist lock. Luigi then Irish whipped Bugs into the steel steps, with Bugs crashing into them with a sickening thud! Luigi picked Bugs back up and slammed him head and face first into the ring post before sliding him back into the ring under the bottom rope. As the referee’s count reached three, Luigi nailed Bugs in the face with an elbow before following him back into the ring. Luigi went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!

Luigi then moved over to Bugs’ legs and locked him into the Boston Crab! Bugs writhed in agonizing pain as the referee asked him if he wanted to quit. Bugs shook his head no as he inched closer to the ropes.

“Daffy Duck fell victim to the Boston Crab last night. . .will his friend Bugs suffer the same fate?” Early asked.

Bugs wormed closer to the ropes. . .

. . .extended his hand out. . .

. . .and successfully grabbed onto the bottom rope, but Luigi kept the hold locked in until the referee’s five count went to four. Luigi drug Bugs into the center of the ring and went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out! Luigi picked Bugs up to his feet and went for a Jawbreaker. . .only for Bugs to counter it into an Inverted Atomic Drop! Bugs ran against the ropes behind him and nailed Luigi with a kick to the ribs! Bugs kicked Luigi repeatedly in the midsection before bringing him back up to his feet and Irish whipping him into the corner. Luigi bounced out of the corner and Bugs tied him up and took him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out!

“He nearly had him there!” Early said, as Bugs rolled off Luigi! Both men laid down in the center of the ring, under Bugs and Luigi pulled themselves up on different sides of the ring with the ropes. They came back to the center of the ring and traded right hands until Luigi surprised Bugs with a thumb to the eye. Luigi then took Bugs down with a Triple Rolling Suplex! Luigi then stood back up and raised a peace sign at the crowd, who booed immensely at him. 

“And once again, a Mario brother gets the better of Bugs Bunny!” Early said as Luigi climbed up to the top rope. 

Luigi dove off the top rope, going for the Super Mario Splash. . .

. . .ONLY FOR BUGS TO SURPRISE LUIGI WITH A KARATE KICK TO THE FACE!!!!

“THERE’S STILL LIFE LEFT FOR BUGS!” Early cried, as Bugs now climbed to the top rope! Bugs pointed his elbow at Luigi. . .

. . .slapped it three times. . .

. . .dove off the top rope. . .

. . .AND LANDED LUIGI WITH THE ACME ELBOW DROP!!! Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“IT’S OVER! WE’VE GOT A NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!” Early yelled, as the crowd erupted into cheers! The bell rang and Bugs stood back up, yelling up at the ceiling in celebration!

“The winner of this match. . .AND. . .NEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

The referee raised Bugs’ arm in victory before giving him the Television title belt!

“It might not be the World Heavyweight Championship, but Bugs can at least say he’s won a championship here in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!” Early said.

Bugs climbed onto a top turnbuckle and raised the TV title belt above his head toward the fans.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “Bugs said earlier tonight that until he can get a World title shot again, he will continue to make XCW a better company! And as our new Television Champion, he’ll do just that!”

Luigi limply rolled out of the ring in disappointment while Bugs continued to celebrate.

“And now we can say it. . .” Early said. “Rest in peace to the Super Mario Syndicate!”

Bugs stepped off the turnbuckle, and out of the ring, raising the belt above his head and looking around the arena in celebration as he walked up the ramp.

Shake chimed in. “And hello to Bugs Bunny as our new XCW Television Champion!”

(Backstage)

Alucard stalked down the hallway carrying the XCW Hardcore title belt over his shoulder as he spoke on a cell phone.

“Yes, GB. I’m on my way back now. The deed is done. Tommy learned his lesson. . .and Claude is gonna learn his---“

Suddenly, a bandaged and bloodied Tommy Vercetti ran into frame behind Alucard and took him down with a chop block! 

“TOMMY VERCETTI!” Early cried. “How is he even standing right now???”

Tommy turned Alucard onto his back and hammered away at his face with a fistful of brass knuckles! Tommy pulled Alucard up and rammed his head face-first into a stone wall, then hooked his arms, lifted him up and dropped him with the Vercetti Driver! Tommy went for the cover, with a referee right behind him! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

Tommy stood up and yelled from the intensity as the referee handed him the Hardcore title belt!

“Congratulations, Tommy, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!”

Tommy then pulled Alucard up by the hair and drug him into a garage. Tommy Irish whipped Alucard up against the back of a garbage truck! Tommy went for another right hand only for Alucard to grab him by the throat! Alucard lifted him up for a chokeslam but Tommy kneed Alucard in the face and dropped out of it. Tommy then lifted Alucard up and threw him into the garbage truck with a Standing Spinebuster!

Tommy threw him a malicious glare as he pushed a button on the truck, sealing it shut! He then stepped over to Alucard’s cell phone, still laying on the concrete floor.

“ALUCARD?” asked GB from the phone line in concern. “ALUCARD! WHAT’S GOING ON OVER THERE?”

Tommy picked up the phone and put it up to his ear.

“Consider this a fair warning. . .” Tommy spoke, “. . .if anybody on your end gets involved in that match, I’ll be there to even the odds! And since I just took your vampire out with the trash, you don’t want me over there!”

Tommy threw the cell phone at the stone wall, breaking it into pieces! Tommy then strode down the hallway, fuming with anger!

“The Hardcore title is back where it rightfully belongs!” Early said.

“And so is Alucard!” Shake added. “And I see Deadpool joining him really, really soon!”

Early chimed in for the last word. “Tommy and Alucard put each other through hell tonight, but what’s gonna happen this Saturday night, when their partners-in-crime, Deadpool and Claude Speed face off in Japan, where Falls Count Anywhere???”

The shot stayed focused on the closed garbage truck as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Okey-dokey, there’s the episode! A special thanks to toonwriter for letting me use Alucard. And I just found out that XCW is now #2 in the ratings but I started this when it was ranked #1 and really didn’t feel like changing anything.

As always, let me know how I can improve my promo-writing (PLEASE let me know if Claude’s interview, and especially the Tai/Sora and Garfield/Jon promo were any good, and how it can be better), and if there are any character inconsistencies, and I will go in and correct them. The next chapter, as well as the first chapter of Destined will come soon. In the meantime, RATE/REVIEW!

Results

Eric Cartman & Kenny McCormick defeated Scorpion & Sub-Zero  
Alucard defeated Tommy Vercetti (wins Hardcore Championship)  
Stan Marsh & Kyle Broflovski defeated Ren & Stimpy  
Bugs Bunny defeated Luigi (wins Television Championship)  
Tommy Vercetti defeated Alucard (wins Hardcore Championship via 24/7 rule)


	16. XCW Massacre: April Week 2 Part 1

Hey, fans! Between updating all my chapters to story format, writing a second fic, and searching for a job in my field, I thought I needed a bit of a break. But amongst all of that, I bring you a new chapter of XCW! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

"Last week, tensions between Tai and the World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield, resurfaced! Who will gain the upper hand as we move closer and closer to Endgame? Hello again, everybody! I'm Early Cuyler, with Master Shake at ringside, where we come to you live from The Grid! And tonight Shake, I have a feeling shit's gonna hit the fan!"

"So do I, Early!" Because tonight, our main event is set to be the first of its kind in fictional wrestling! Sora Takenouchi, Tai Kamiya's wife, will be running the Gauntlet in a Gauntlet match, with the winner of the match facing Nazz for the XCW Women's Championship at Endgame! Also tonight, we will hear from the new Television Champion! Bugs Bunny will be here in the ring tonight to address the crowd tonight! I can't wait to see that!" Shake said in excitement, until all the lights went off in the arena.

"But we start off tonight with The Ed Factor!" Early said as the following words came from the titantron.

"ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratched on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro explodes on the stage and Ed, Edd, Rolf and Nazz jump onto the stage from below it, their tag title belts in hand. Ed and Edd are clad in shirts and hats (Edd in his traditional sock hat) with the word "ED" on it.

"Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .D-GENERATION ED!

Raising the title belts above their heads toward the fans, Ed and Edd strode down the ramp with Nazz right behind them.

"Two weeks ago at March Majesty, D-Generation Ed successfully defended their titles against their rivals Ren and Stimpy in a Tables match!" Early informed.

"It was a hard-fought match, but despite Ren and Stimpy having their rival Kevin at ringside, D-Ed retained their titles and are now looking for new challengers!" Shake said.

Ed and Edd slid into the ring and climb on each turnbuckle, raising their title belts above their heads. They meet in the center of the ring, with Nazz right in front of them, and do the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

"And their guests tonight just might be the next ones to step up to the tag team plate!" Early said.

Edd asks for microphones from the timekeeper as the lights go up, revealing the ring to be decorated with a red carpet, two long barstools and a plasma screen TV hanging from a fixture.

"HELLLLOOOO, ALL YOU PROGRAMS HERE IN THE GRID!" Edd yelled to the audience, who cheered back.

"I gotta tell you all, it was an adventure just getting here! Once Ed and I stepped off the plane, we rented our lightcycle, and I don't know how you guys ride those things! They're so fast and there's no way of going in reverse, hell, we probably drove past this place, what, five times?"

Edd looked at Ed, who nodded his head.

"But regardless, we are here, and we are about to give you one hell of a show!" Edd finished before the crowd erupted into cheers!

"This show tonight is loaded! At some point, sure, you will see the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield in action. . ."

The crowd booed at this.

". . .but you will see Bugs Bunny celebrate winning the Television Championship!"

Edd paused to let the crowd cheer at this.

"And while Tai Kamiya is still on a plane here, tonight you will see his equally talented wife, Sora Takenouchi, run the Gauntlet for a shot at the Women's Championship. .. .WHICH, coincidentally. . .BELONGS TO US!"

The crowd cheered as Nazz raised the Women's title belt above her head toward the fans.

"But right now you're going to see a group of men who made their XCW debut last week. This group of men is as prestigious and esteemed as we are. . .and we've been around the block with them on a number of occasions in both CWF and UCW. . .but that was then. . .and this is now, and right now, as the tag team champions, D-Generation Ed would like to welcome at this time, tonight's guests on The Ed Factor. . .give it up for. . .THE SOUTH PARK FOUR!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played, and Stan, Kyle, Eric and Kenny posed on the stage before walking down the ramp.

"And a standing ovation, deservedly so, for this stable of men!" Early said, as the South Park Four slid into the ring and posed on each turnbuckle before coming face-to-face with D-Generation Ed, with microphones in hand.

"Now, gentlemen. . ." Edd said, "allow to be the first to officially welcome you all to XCW! Now that you're all here, I just have to ask you. . .now that you're settled into this company, what are your plans for the future?"

Stan Marsh put a microphone up to his mouth.

"Double D, Double D, Double D. The answer is simple. . .so simple, I'm surprised you don't even know it already! Back in UCW, who stood toe-to-toe with you for the 6-Man Tag Team Championship, and went bell-to-bell against you on multiple occasions?"

Kyle stepped up next to Stan and put the microphone up to his mouth.

"We did. In CWF, when you two were the tag team champions. . .who pinned you down 1, 2, 3, ripped the belts off your waists and claimed them for themselves?"

Eric Cartman stepped up next to Stan and began to speak in his microphone.

"WE DID!" Cartman said emphatically. "And during our absence from fictional wrestling, we've seen you Eds gained a following bigger than any of us ever imagined, parade around this company, and whore yourselves out with your merchandise. You guys have even started your own wrestling company! We've reached the top of the tag team mountain in every fictional wrestling company out there, and we're in XCW now to reclaim our spot, and that's the bottom line, 'cause Eric Cartman said so!"

"Speaking of your company, how's that working out for you?" Kyle asked. "The last I heard, the network cancelled it!"

The crowd erupted into gasps from shock as the Eds stared the South Park Four down angrily.

"Mmmmpph mph mmmph mppph!" Kenny said into his microphone as he stepped in.

Stan nodded. "Yeah, Kenny, it's back on now, but we pushed the censors too hard on Comedy Central, and we're still on TV!"

The four kids shared a laugh until Ed stormed up to Stan Marsh and looked at him face-to-face with an angry stare.

"ENOUGH!" Ed yelled. "YOU CAN REMIND US OF OUR LOSSES AGAINST YOU, YOU CAN CALL US SELL-OUTS, BUT MAKING FUN OF PCUW. . .YOU HAVE MADE THIS MORE PERSONAL THAN EVER BEFORE!"

Edd grabbed onto Ed's arm and tried pulling him away but to no avail.

"You guys want us for the XCW tag titles?" Ed asked. "You want to kick us off the top of the mountain? You got it! At Endgame it will be me and Double D against two of you! What do you say to that?"

Stan and the rest of the South Park Four turned around and got into a group huddle for a few seconds, then turned back to face the Eds.

Stan said, "What do I say to that? I say. . ."

Stan scratched his chin in thought. . .until he and Kyle dropped their microphones and suddenly kicked the Eds in the midsection, going for South Park Stunners! While Kyle's Stunner on Edd connected, Ed grabbed Stan by the sides and put him on his shoulders for an Eledrifier. . .only for Kenny to kick Ed's legs out from under him! Cartman went to kick Ed in the midsection but Ed grabbed onto Cartman's foot in time, then took him down with a massive clothesline!

"My God! It's pandemonium out here on the set of The Ed Factor!" yelled Early.

Kyle and Kenny charged toward Ed only for Rolf to take Kyle down with a crossbody! Kenny went for a Hurricanrana on Ed, but Ed caught him, put him on his shoulders. . .and took him down with the Eledrifier! Edd and Rolf ran back to Ed's side as the South Park Four slid out of the ring. D-Ed ran to the side of the ring facing the ramp and exchanged words with the South Park Four.

The taunting between both teams continued as the show went to a commercial break!

After the show came back from the commercial break, Early Cuyler and Master Shake sat at their announcer's table at ringside.

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, Shake, and it's already a wild night thus far!" Early said.

"You got that right!" Shake said in agreement. "The Ed Factor only got more heated as it went along, and it culminated with a match being set up for Endgame: D-Generation Ed will put the XCW Tag Team Titles on the line against two members of the South Park Four! We've seen them fight in numerous companies before XCW, but this time. . .it's personal!"

"If you want to talk about personal, Shake, go back to the interpromotional rivalry between Claude Speed and WWE's Deadpool!" Early responded. "It got so personal that Alucard of the Immortals got involved last week, taking the XCW Hardcore Championship from Claude's partner-in-crime, Tommy Vercetti!"

"And after the Falls Count Anywhere match between Claude and Deadpool that took place last Saturday night on WWE: Animated, who knows what'll happen next between those two!" Shake said.

"Well, I wouldn't know anything about that Shake, but up next we're gonna see Claude's partner-in-crime, Tommy Vercetti, in one-on-one action!" Early said, as the bell rang, and Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!"

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as an Oceanic car rode down the ramp with Tommy Vercetti inside it, as the crowd erupted into cheers!

"Introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .The Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"

Tommy rode the car around the ringside area, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp, with the hood facing the stage. Tommy stepped out of the car and slid into the ring.

"Despite Alucard's surprise invasion of XCW last week, Tommy managed to regain the Hardcore title minutes before we went off the air!" Early reminded.

Tommy raised the Hardcore title belt above his head toward the fans, looking around the arena.

"Tommy was left a burnt and bloody mess after that match last night!" Shake added. "But he knows what it means to hold our Hardcore Championship, and he wasn't about to let an Immortal from the WWE just take it from us! As psychotic as he can get in the ring, I'm proud to have Tommy as our Hardcore Champion!"

"The Light That Blinds" by Shadows Fall played as Kevin stepped onto the entranceway and strode down the ramp to boos from the crowd.

"And his opponent. . .from Peach Creek. . .KEVIN!"

"The long-time rival of D-Generation Ed made his XCW as the manager of Ren and Stimpy at March Majesty, but since then, he's no longer working under the former tag team champions, instead choosing to chisel his way through the ranks of our roster!" Early said.

"That won't be easy!" Shake added. "Kevin had to fight, scratch and claw his way to become PCUW's World Heavyweight Champion, and it's no different here. And Tommy Vercetti is a tough first test for Kevin to take."

The bell rang and the match began with Tommy and Kevin running toward each other and meeting in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Kevin put Tommy in a wrist lock and wrenched his arm. Kevin moved behind Tommy and went for a back drop, but Tommy fought out of with elbows to Kevin's face. Tommy spun around to face Kevin and hit him in the face with right hand after right hand until he was backed up against the ropes. Tommy Irish whipped Kevin to the other side of the ring, and on the bounceback, took him down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away onto his face with furious right and left hands! Tommy stood up and yelled obscenities toward the crowd in intensity (a la Stone Cold). Tommy ran against the ropes behind him and landed a running stomp onto Kevin's sternum! Tommy kept running and on the bounceback, hit Kevin's sternum with a falling elbow! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kevin kicked out!

Tommy pulled Kevin up to his feet until Kevin surprised him with a thumb to the eye. Kevin then landed an uppercut to Tommy's jaw, knocking him back against the ropes. Kevin then charged at Tommy and clotheslined him out of the ring! Kevin then got onto the ring apron, waited for Tommy to get up. . .and took him down with a Missile Dropkick! Both Tommy and Kevin were down on the concrete floor as the referee began the ten count! Kevin and Tommy rose to their feet, and Kevin taunted the crowd, who booed back at him. Kevin started to go for a right hand but not before Tommy charged at him and knocked him down with a vicious clothesline! Tommy then pulled Kevin up by the shirt and Irish whipped him into the steel steps, with Kevin crashing into them with a sickening thud! Tommy picked Kevin up and rammed him face-first into the steel post before sliding him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Tommy then nailed Kevin in the face with an elbow before sliding back into the ring and going for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kevin kicked out!

"The Harwood Butcher showing Kevin who's boss here tonight!" Early said.

Tommy pulled Kevin up to a standing position and threw him into a corner. Tommy went for a shoulder thrust but Kevin kneed Tommy in the gut and threw him in the corner instead! Kevin then hit Tommy in the face with right hand after right hand before turning him so he was facing the turnbuckles. Kevin backed up to the opposite corner, charged toward Tommy. . .and connected with a huge spinning wheel kick! Kevin then climbed up to the top rope and nailed Tommy with a Diving Elbow! Kevin went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!

Kevin picked Tommy up and slugged him in the jaw with two consecutive uppercuts, then took him down with a Backbreaker. Kevin then locked Tommy into a cross armbreaker submission hold! Tommy screamed in agonizing pain as the referee asked him if he wanted to quit. Tommy shook his head no and inched closer and closer to the ropes. Tommy extended his hand out. . .

wormed closer and closer. . .

. . .and successfully grabbed onto the bottom rope, forcing Kevin to break the hold! Kevin drug Tommy back into the center of the ring and went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Tommy somehow kicked out, much to Kevin's chagrin! Kevin then backed up against a corner and signaled for the Bull Tackle (Gore) by scraping his right foot against the ground repeatedly!

"And Kevin looking to put The Harwood Butcher away!" Early said.

"We may have an upset in the making!" Shake exclaimed as Kevin charged for the Bull Tackle. . .

. . .only for Tommy to spin out of the way, causing Kevin to collide head-first into the middle turnbuckle! Kevin stumbled out of the corner in a daze. . .and right into a Standing Spinebuster from Tommy! Tommy then taunted for Kevin to stand up, as Kevin staggered up to his feet, pulling himself up with the ropes. . .until Tommy tied up Kevin's arms, lifted him up. . .and dropped him on his head with the Vercetti Driver! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

The bell rang and Tommy raised his arms above his head in victory!

"Here is your winner. . .The Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"

The referee gave Tommy the Hardcore title belt back and raised his arm above his head in victory.

"Yet another victory for the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti!" Early said, as Tommy left the ring, staring Kevin down as he got into his car.

"You got that right! He's been on a roll as of late!" Shake added. "And he's not looking to let up anytime soon!"

Tommy started the car and drove it to a parking garage in the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood with a microphone in hand.

"Excuse me!" Carl said to Tommy as he got out of his car.

"Man, you always know where I am!" Tommy said, as he walked up to Carl's side.

"Tommy, congratulations on your victory! But considering Alucard almost stole the Hardcore title from XCW, and the match between Claude and Deadpool this past Saturday night on WWE: Animated, do you think that the rivalry between the Immortals and Claude has been settled?"

"You know what, Carl. . ." Tommy said, "Let me tell you something about the Immortals-"

Suddenly, a black hooded figure ran up to Tommy from behind and took him down with the Back Stabber!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" screamed Early, as the hooded figure waved for a referee to run up to him! The figure made a cover on Tommy, hooking the leg, and the referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

Early yelled, "WHAT THE HELL?" as the referee raised the hooded figure's arm up in victory!

"Here is your new XCW Hardcore Champion-"

Before the referee could say the figure's name, the figure took the Hardcore title belt and ran out of the garage!

"THERE'S A NEW XCW HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .BUT WHO THE HELL IS IT?" Early asked.

"Holy crap! Did the Immortals strike again?" questioned Shake, as Tommy writhed in pain while the show went to a commercial break!

As the show returned from commercial, a replay of Tommy Vercetti losing the Hardcore title to the hooded mysterious figure played out.

"We're back live on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, and I'm still in shock over what just transpired!" Early said.

"I am too, Early!" Shake exclaimed. "We have a new XCW Hardcore Champion. . .but I and nobody here has any idea who it could be! It could be someone from another company, for all we know!"

"Nevertheless, we go now to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stands with Sora Takenouchi!" Early said, as the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Carl stood with a microphone in hand next to Sora.

"Sora Takenouchi. . ." Carl said, ". . .up next you will be running the Gauntlet in a Gauntlet match against three other women to determine who faces the Women's Champion at Endgame. I say that because next week, Nazz will be putting the Women's title on the line against Peach in a rematch from March Majesty. Should you win. . .who would you prefer to face at Endgame, Nazz or Peach?"

"My opponent at Endgame doesn't matter to me right now, Carl." Sora answered. "You see, ever since I lost the Women's Championship back in January, I've been itching to get back into the competition in the Women's division here in XCW, and have been training non-stop since my last match. And all my training has come to this Gauntlet match, during which, I'll be fighting as if the Women's title is already on the line! I can and WILL show all the fans that I am the best female wrestler on our roster, and that women's wrestling in XCW is alive and well! I know Tai is still on the plane here from Shibuya, but by the time he gets here, we'll have a victory to celebrate! And there will be more celebrating after Endgame, because Tai and I will become the most decorated couple in all of fictional wrestling! Because we were destined to be together, destined to be in XCW, and we are destined for success!"

Sora strode away from Carl as the show went back to the ring, where Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest. . .is a Gauntlet match, with the winner facing the XCW Women's Champion at Endgame!"

"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine played as Sora ran onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, raising her hands above her head, and towards the crowd.

"And right now we are about to showcase a good portion of our Women's division here in this Gauntlet match!" Early announced. "And it starts with that woman right there, Sora Takenouchi! The wife of Tai Kamiya, the 2012 March Majesty and the man who will face Garfield for the World Heavyweight Championship at Endgame!"

Sora gave the crowd high fives as she ran down the ramp, and slid into the ring.

"And that's all she'll be known for, if you ask me!" Shake said. "That and for her month-long reign as our first Women's Champion! And for being a thorn in our interim commissioner's side!"

Sora climbed up onto a turnbuckle and posed toward the fans.

"Oh, come on, Shake!" Early said in disbelief. "Jon Arbuckle has mistreated and talked down to Sora and Tai since the rivalry between Tai and Garfield started! She has every reason to be angry at him! But tonight she'll be looking to use that and more as she faces three consecutive opponents for a shot at the Women's Championship at Endgame!"

"And her opponent. . ." Plankton announced as. . .

"Simple and Clean" by Utada Hikaru played! Yuna strutted onto the stage and down the ramp to cheers from the crowd!

"From the village of Besaid. . .YUNA!"

"Sora's first opponent. . .none other than Yuna, who is returning from injury that she suffered at the hands of the former Women's Champion, Peach, at Doomsday!" Early said.

"Good to finally see Yuna back inside the squared circle!" Shake said. "She wants the Women's title as much as Sora does, she'll be a formidable first opponent!"

The bell rang and the match began with Sora and Yuna in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Yuna put Sora in a wrist lock only for Sora to counter that into an arm-wrench of her own, then she Irish whipped Yuna toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Sora took Yuna down with an arm drag, then a quick leg drop! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out! Sora pulled Yuna up to her feet and Irish whipped her into the corner. Sora then slapped Yuna in the chest repeatedly with furious chops, then Irish whipped her into the opposite corner. Sora charged toward Yuna with a clothesline, but Yuna spun out of the way! Sora however, latched onto the ropes before making impact and leapt onto the top rope from her momentum! Sora jumped off the top rope and took Yuna down with a diving hurricanrana! Sora went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out!

Sora and Yuna got into another tie-up and Yuna put Sora into a waist lock. Sora, however, countered that by putting Yuna into a headlock of her own, and elbowing Yuna off her waist! Sora took down Yuna with a side headlock takedown and nailed her with a punch to the face. Sora ran against the ropes and went for a running moonsault on the bounceback but Yuna rolled out of the way, sending Sora chest-first onto the mat! While Sora sold her abdomen in pain, Yuna quickly went for an inside cradle pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! Yuna put Sora in a headlock and took her down with a swinging neckbreaker! Yuna then ran against the ropes behind her and hit Sora with a baseball slide, knocking her under the ropes and out of the ring! Sora stood up and slid right back into the ring and got into another tie-up. Sora put Yuna into a waist lock and lifted her up for a back drop, but Yuna dropped out of it and kicked Sora in the back of her leg. Yuna went for a spinning wheel kick but Sora ducked out of the way. . .only for Yuna to take Sora down with another neckbreaker! Yuna went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

"First Sora dominated Yuna, now Yuna's dominating Sora! Who will win this first of three matches?" Early wondered, as Yuna attempted to lock Sora into an STF.

Sora, however, rolled Yuna off her, stood up and kneed her in the gut. Sora then went for a Tornado DDT but Yuna pushed Sora off her. As Sora collected herself, Yuna ran against the ropes behind her and went for a hurricanrana. . .only for Sora to catch Yuna's legs, and position herself behind a corner. Sora then hit Yuna with a slingshot, sending her face-first into the top turnbuckle! As Yuna staggered around the ring in a daze, Sora took Yuna down with a Tornado DDT! Sora went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 YUNA KICKED OUT!

"How close was that?" Early asked his broadcast partner.

"As close as a near-fall can get, Early!" Shake answered. "This has been a hell of a match so far!"

Sora waited for Yuna to rise up to her feet. . .and went for a Soracanrana. . .only for Yuna to catch her and throw her into a corner. Yuna then charged toward Sora and kneed her in the face. . .then took her down with a bulldog! Yuna looked around the fans in the arena, signaling that the end was near!

"And now all the momentum has shifted into Yuna's favor!" Early called, as Yuna turned around to face Sora and waited for her to sit up. Once Sora did, Yuna went for the Shining Wizard kick. . .

. . .only for Sora to spin out of the way! Yuna stood up to her feet to see Sora running towards her. . .

. . .AND SORA TOOK HER DOWN WITH A SORACANRANA PIN ATTEMPT! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

The bell rang as Sora got off Yuna, who rolled out of the ring. The referee raised Sora's arm in victory of the first fall.

"THE WINNER OF THE FIRST MATCH. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"

The crowd cheered as Plankton made the announcement!

"A valiant effort from the returning Yuna, but Sora capitalized on a late advantage!" Early said. "Now she will advance to her next opponent. . .who is-"

Early was suddenly cut off by "Sweet Dreams Are Made of These" by Marilyn Manson! Lee Kanker ran down the ramp and into the ring to boos from the crowd.

"From Peach Creek. . .LEE KANKER!"

"Lee Kanker is a former rival of the current Women's Champion Nazz!" Early said. "You'd have to think Lee would love to get her hands on Nazz, and take the Women's title from her in the process!"

"And she'll have the advantage of doing so, as she's well-rested and ready to compete, while Sora's showing early signs of exhaustion!" Shake said, observing Sora, who was holding onto the ropes, catching her breath until Lee slid into the ring.

The bell rang and Lee charged at Sora, going for a clothesline. Sora, however, dodged it, put Lee into a waist lock. . .and took her down with two consecutive German suplexes! With the waist lock still applied, Sora took Lee down with a German suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Lee kicked out! Sora pulled Lee up to her feet, but Lee poked Sora in the eyes. Lee then took Sora down with a Full Nelson Slam! Lee quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! Lee pushed Sora back down to the mat and nailed her in the face with right hand after right hand! Lee then pulled Sora up by the hair and Irish whipped her face-first into the corner. Sora bounced out of the corner, only for Lee to catch her and take her down with a thunderous Russian Leg Sweep! Lee went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

Lee pulled Sora up to her feet and went for another Russian Leg Sweep but Sora countered it into a headlock. Sora went for a bulldog but Lee shoved Sora off her, toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Sora surprised Lee with a crossbody block! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Lee kicked out! Sora and Lee got up to their feet and ran into a tie-up. Lee put Sora in a waist-lock, only for Sora to counter that into a waist lock of her own! Sora took Lee down with a backbreaker, then ran against the ropes behind her and took her down with a clothesline! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Lee kicked out! Sora rolled off Lee and both women were down in the center of the ring, catching their breath as the referee started the ten count!

"Sora's been sticking it to Lee. . .but both women are exhausted, Sora even more so!" Early said.

"Who's gonna win this thing?" Shake wondered, as Lee stumbled up to her feet and pulled herself up with the ropes. Lee walked over to Sora and pulled her up by the wrists. Lee picked Sora up and took her down with a Northern Lights suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SORA SOMEHOW KICKED OUT! Lee couldn't believe it!

Lee pulled Sora up into another waist lock and quickly took her down with a fireman's carry, then landed a Leg Drop onto Sora's chest! Sora got onto her knees, clenching her abdomen in pain. Lee waited for Sora to get up and charged toward her for a punt to the face. . .

. . .only for Sora to roll out of the way and send Lee towards the ropes! As Lee bounced back, Sora took her down with a Spear! Sora fell back to the mat, still selling her chest before pulling herself up with the ropes.

"Sora may have Lee right where she wants her. . .but has too much damage been done?" Early wondered, as Sora stumbled over to the corner. Sora climbed up to the top rope. . .sized Lee up. . .

. . .AND HIT LEE WITH THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Clenching her chest from the impact, Sora went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

The bell rang as the crowd cheered, and Sora rolled off Lee, trying to catch her breath.

"The winner of the second match. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"

Lee rolled out of the ring as the referee raised Sora's arm in victory.

"Sora has to defeat one more opponent, and she gets her shot at the Women's title at Endgame!" Early called.

"I don't know, Early!" Shake said. "She's been through so much tonight! Her final opponent tonight might have the upper hand here!"

Suddenly. . ."Brick By Boring Brick" by Paramore played as Faye Valentine came onto the stage to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

"Introducing the final opponent. . ." Plankton announced, "From Planet Earth. . .FAYE VALENTINE!"

"We haven't seen Faye Valentine since the first episode of XCW!" Early said.

"Not only will we see Faye Valentine in singles competition right now, at this rate we might as well call her the number one contender at this point! Sora looks out of it!" Shake observed, as Sora stumbled up to her feet, and Faye entered the ring above the second rope.

The bell rang and the match began with Sora and Faye trading right hands in the center of the ring, with the crowd cheering in unison with Sora's punches. They continued punching each other until Faye surprised Sora with a kick to the midsection. Sora winced in pain until Faye took her down with a neckbreaker! Faye went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! Faye stood back up while Sora was slow to get up to her knees. Faye nailed Sora with sharp kicks to the midsection, forcing Sora to roll out of the ring and recollect herself.

"All the damage to the torso in this series of matches has taken its toll on Mrs. Tai Kamiya!" Early said, as Faye slid out of the ring and kneed Sora in the midsection once more. Faye then Irish whipped Sora towards the steel post. . .

. . .only for Sora to counter it into an Irish whip of her own, sending Faye face-first into the post!

"This might be the opening that Sora needed!" Early called, as Faye turned around and was immediately taken down by a dropkick from Sora! Both women were down at ringside as the referee's ten count reached three!

"Both women are down!" Early yelled. "Who's going to Endgame?"

Faye rose up to her feet first and pulled Sora up by the hair, sliding her into the ring under the bottom ropes. Faye pulled Sora into a seated position and took her down with a dropkick to the back! Faye then pulled Sora into a front face lock and went for the Bloody Valentine (Jackknife Powerbomb). . .

. . .only for Sora to counter it into a Leg Lariat! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Faye kicked out! Sora rose up from the cover in disappointment!

"Sora thought she had the match won, but Faye's a tough nut to crack!" Early said.

Sora staggered up to her feet, selling her chest, and taunting Faye to get up. Faye rose up to her feet and Sora charged at her for a Spear. . .only for Faye to take her down with a Big Boot!

"OOOOH!" Shake cringed! "Sora may have lost some teeth along with this match!"

Faye went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SORA'S FOOT WAS ON THE BOTTOM ROPE! Faye got up from the cover and argued with the referee!

"Sora may be down. . .she may be going through so much pain right now. . .but she's not out of it!" Early said, as Sora shook herself back into reality while slowly staggering up to her feet.

"I never even thought that a female wrestler could take so much punishment!" Shake remarked as Faye turned back to face Sora. Faye went for another kick to Sora's midsection. . .

. . .ONLY FOR SORA TO CATCH IT AND COUNTER INTO THE CROSSFACE! Sora intensified the hold with all the strength she had left as Faye screamed in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked Faye if she wanted to quit! All Faye could do was scream as she inched closer to the bottom rope!

Sora screamed "COME ON! TAP OUT!" as Faye extended her hand out. . .

. . .wormed closer to the ropes. . .

. . .but tapped out! The bell rang as Sora let go of the hold!

"And Sora Takenouchi is going to Endgame!" Early called before Plankton made the announcement!

"Here is your winner. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as the referee raised Sora's arm in victory! Sora collapsed to her knees, still clenching her chest from all the pain.

"It was a tough set of matches for Sora, but in the end she showed a lot of heart and toughness, and comes away from the Gauntlet match as the number one contender for the Women's Championship!" Early said, as a referee ran down the ramp towards Plankton.

"I gotta admit, you're right, Early!" Shake said in agreement. "Sora represented women's wrestling proudly tonight. . .but what's going on over here?"

The referee picked up Plankton and whispered something into his ear as Sora came to a seated position in a corner with a smile on her face.

The referee ran out of the ringside area as Plankton began to speak into the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen. . .I have just been informed that there is one opponent left in the Gauntlet match!"

"What?" Early asked as Sora's smile fell into a look of confusion.

"Who could it be?" Shake asked, as. . .

"Bad Man" by Jim Johnston played! Sora's face immediately turned into a look of fear!

"WHAT THE HELL? NO! NO!" Early yelled. "IT CAN'T BE GARFIELD! IT SHOULDN'T BE GARFIELD!"

Sora stood up and backed herself up against another corner in fear until Jon Arbuckle walked onto the stage with a microphone in hand.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jon laughed manically. "YOU FELL FOR IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR IT!"

Sora stepped into the center of the ring with a look of contempt directed at Jon, who looked at Sora with a wide grin on his face as he stepped down the ramp toward the ring.

"Did you really believe that I would send Garfield out here, after your grueling Gauntlet match, to tear you limb from limb for my personal amusement?"

Jon let out a chuckle as the crowd ravenously booed at him.

"No, Sora. I am not a sadistic man. I am a fair and balanced man, who thinks about fair competition before anything else. And therefore. . .I did not send the World Heavyweight Champion, the behemoth known as Garfield to destroy you!"

Jon climbed onto the ring apron, still staring down Sora, who didn't realize that the black hooded figure from earlier was standing right behind her!

"I sent a man fit for your size!"

Suddenly the hooded figure took Sora down with a Back Stabber!

"MY GOD!" yelled Early! "WHAT THE HELL?"

Sora crumbled into the fetal position, clutching her chest in agonizing pain! Jon and the figure stood over her menacingly, with Jon still looking down at her maliciously.

"Sora Takenouchi, and fans of XCW. . ." Jon said, ". . .please welcome. . .the newest member of the XCW roster. . .and my newest client. . ."

Jon pulled the black hood off the figure, revealing him to be-

"ODIE!"

The crowd erupted into boos as Odie pulled Sora back up and took her down with another Back Stabber!

"NO! THAT'S AN INNOCENT WOMAN IN THERE, DAMN IT!" Early screamed, as Sora wailed in excruciating pain!

"Garfield and I said that before Endgame, we would destroy Tai in the worst way possible! We have done so by attacking the one thing that drives him. . .HIS HEART! Odie is here to help us do this and more! We will inflict more damage to Tai Kamiya, both physical and emotional! It will be a cakewalk come Endgame, and let me explain to all of you why!

Tai himself has gone from a member of the Extreme Team. . .to a spineless, affectionate weakling, who puts his wife before himself! He's pathetic. . .and you're pathetic, Mrs. Kamiya, for emasculating him in the first place! You want to talk about destiny, Sora? THIS WAS DESTINED TO HAPPEN TO YOU! And if you even make it to your Women's title match at Endgame. . .you will witness Tai's destiny! And trust me, Sora. . .it looks a lot like you right now."

Jon dropped the microphone onto Sora's prone body and raised Odie's arm! Odie and Jon glared at the crowd maliciously as they both left the ring, leaving Sora almost in tears from all the pain.

"My God! What a heinous act from the interim commissioner and his newest acquisition!" Early yelled in disgust as multiple referees ran down the ramp and into the ring to check on Sora.

"Tai is NOT gonna be happy. . ." Shake said.

Jon raised Odie's arm above his head as they reached the entranceway, and looked at the ring one more time.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Early exclaimed. "This just got more personal than it ever was before! What's gonna happen when Tai arrives?"

The referees tended to Sora, who grasped her chest tighter than before, as the show went to a commercial break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, things are getting crazy, to say the least! At any rate, there's part one for now. DanDJohnMLover, if you want me to remove the stuff about PCUW from The Ed Factor promo, let me know and I'll change it. Also, let me know if there's anything at all I can do to improve my promo writing, or anything, really. Part two will come soon, as will the prologue for my second fic. In the meantime, RATE/REVIEW!


	17. XCW Massacre: April Week 2 Part 2

Hey, fans! Sorry for the long absence. Between job searching and family visiting, life’s needed me. But following the end of People Power (YAY!) and the Heat winning the NBA Finals (BOO!) comes part 2 of this episode of XCW! I only own my championships.

As the show came back from the commercial break, Early Cuyler and Master Shake sat at their announcer’s table.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, and while this company is number one in the ratings, Jon Arbuckle is the sickest commissioner between all of the general managers in our business, thanks to the hideous attack he orchestrated on a defenseless Sora Takenouchi!” Early said.

“If you ask me, I’ve never seen anyone make an impact here faster than Odie! He won the Hardcore title and aligned himself with the World Heavyweight Champion in the same night! It’s quite impressive.“ Shake said, as Early looked at him in disbelief.

“I. . .I cannot believe you, Shake! How can you condone that assault???” Early questioned in anger.

“Don’t get me wrong, the assault was horrifying. But Odie’s looking good as a member of the XCW roster!”

Early shook his head and turned back to face the ring.

“Nevertheless, we are live here in The Grid, now about to hear from our new Television Champion!” Early said, as “What’s Up, Doc?” came from the titantron, followed by the song “Buggin’” by Bugs Bunny!

Bugs Bunny walked onto the stage to cheers from the crowd with the Television title belt around his waist, and Daffy Duck carrying a paper bag and a velvet bag in his hands.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome. . .your NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

Bugs posed on the stage and strode down the ramp with a big smile on his face.

“Last week on Massacre, Bugs Bunny won the Television Championship from Luigi in a hard-fought contest!” Early said.

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, raising the Television title belt above his head toward the fans.

“You got that right!” Shake confirmed. “In being the new TV Champion, Bugs Bunny will not only prove himself to be a legitimate champion here in XCW, but he’ll also legitimize the belt as well!”

Bugs stepped off the turnbuckle and asked for a microphone from the timekeeper.

“And now the new Television Champion is here to address the crowd following his big victory!” observed Early.

“What’s up, Docs?” Bugs said into the microphone to cheers from the crowd. “I’ll tell you what’s up with me: I am the new XCW Television Champion!”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Bugs looked around the arena with a huge smile on his face.

“It may not be the World Heavyweight title. . .but winning the TV title is an accomplishment in and of itself. In wrestling’s past, the TV title has been held and honored by many legends of wrestling. It was held by Ricky ‘The Dragon’ Steamboat and Scott Steiner in WCW, even in ECW by Dean Malenko and Rob Van Dam, who held it for an unprecedented 23 months. In fictional wrestling, the Television title has been held by the likes of Spongebob Squarepants in WWT, and Eddy in PCUW, where their TV Champion is now Mandy Wells, who, to my knowledge is the first ever female to hold the belt, so I offer my congratulations to her!”

“HOWEVER. . .nowadays the TV title has been merely an afterthought. From Eric Bischoff’s untalented son competing for it in TNA. . .to it being thrown into a trash can in WCW. . .and most recently, to the reign of our last champion, Luigi.”

The crowd booed upon Luigi’s mention.

“But now I am your Television Champion. . .and I vow to bring honor and integrity back to this belt! And I will start. . .by doing. . .this! Daffy, open the paper bag!

Daffy held open the paper bag in his hand, and Bugs dropped the Television title belt into it. After Daffy sealed the bag shut, Bugs began to speak again.

“Now, open up the velvet bag.” Bugs said to Daffy.

“Sure thing!” Daffy responded as he unzipped the bag, unveiling a new title belt, which had a golden Looney Tunes shield as the centerpiece, with the XCW logo in the middle of the belt, the words “WORLD” and “TELEVISION” engraved above it in black, and the word “CHAMPION” engraved on the bottom. The crowd erupted into cheers at the sight of the new belt as Bugs grabbed it and raised it above his head proudly!

“This is the new XCW World Television Championship belt! Harkening back to more than just my fellow Looney Tunes, this belt is meant to honor the golden age of animation, and the proud history of this title! And as your World Television Champion, I will carry on with its proud history---“ Bugs said determined, until. . .

The ‘Dashing’ Cody Rhodes theme played! Bugs and Daffy looked down the ramp and saw Arthur walk onto the stage with a microphone in hand! Arthur put the microphone up to his mouth as he walked down the ramp.

“Sorry, Bugs!” Arthur said. “Please forgive me. I had to come out here because I cannot believe the crap that I’m hearing right now!”

The crowd booed as Arthur walked up the steel steps and entered the ring.

“You want to talk about bringing prestige and honor back to the TV title? “ Arthur asked. “You’re the last person I would even think of to resurrect the TV title! Now, don’t get me wrong, you ARE a legend in both fictional wrestling, and animation. And to this day, your cartoons are standing the test of time. . . but for the wrong reasons. As esteemed as you are, your cartoons were so violent, they didn’t even compare to the fighting that goes on here in this very ring! You’re the reason for the stupidity in today’s children! Whereas I. . .am a role model.

Arthur looked at Bugs with a wide grin on his face to boos from the crowd.

“But I’m more than just a role model! I’m an educator!”

The crowd booed louder at Arthur.

“My books and my TV show teach children life lessons, preach good morals, and most importantly, discourage violence! I am not just a better champion than you. . .I am the perfect model champion in every way!”

Bugs stared at Arthur with a blank expression on his face as he began to speak again.

“Well, Doc, I get what you’re saying. . .but answer me this: if you frown upon violence. . .what the hell are you doing in the wrestling business in the first place?”

The crowd chanted “HYPOCRITE! HYPOCRITE! HYPOCRITE!” as Arthur started to speak again.

“To prove it!”

Suddenly Arthur dropped the microphone and knocked Bugs down with a right hand! Daffy went for a right hand on Arthur, but Arthur blocked it and nailed Daffy with right hands of his own! Bugs got back up and surprised Arthur with a Karate Kick, knocking Arthur down! Arthur then rolled out of the ring and exchanged words with Bugs and Daffy as he stepped up the ramp. 

The shouting match continued as the show went to the backstage area, where Jon Arbuckle sat in his office watching the events in the ring unfold.

“Siri. . .” Jon said, speaking into his smartphone. “. . .remind me tomorrow to make a match with Arthur versus Daffy Duck for next week.”

The smartphone beeped and said, “Got it! I’ll remind you tomorrow.”

“Excellent. . .” Jon said, right before Tommy Vercetti kicked the door to the office wide open, and barged up to Jon’s desk.

“Oh hello, Mr.---“

“DON’T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT!” Tommy interrupted, yelling in Jon’s face. “WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA, ORDERING YOUR DOG TO TAKE MY HARDCORE TITLE???”

“The big idea is that I’ve had enough of you disrespecting me and my authority!” Jon answered, standing up to meet Tommy eye-to-eye. “Since I was named interim commissioner, you have made fun of me, shown up late, and invaded our competitors not once, but TWICE now! And I’m not gonna let that happen again, either, because I just got off the phone with GB from WWE: Animated. He vented to me about Animated’s upcoming inspection by Mr. McMahon and TW, and I agreed with an idea of his. And that idea is that if you and/or Claude invade Animated from here till Wrestlemania, I will FIRE YOU BOTH from this company!”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS???” Tommy screamed. “I made it an even fight! It was almost 6-on-1 last Saturday!”

“And I hope you have one more match in you tonight, because you’ve got a 2-on-1 Handicap match tonight, against BOTH Odie AND the World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield!” Jon retorted. “If that doesn’t teach you to treat me with the utmost respect, then I will resort to my strictest of punishments!” 

“Oh, I can only imagine what it could be!” Tommy said as he backed up to the office doorway. “Because having you as a boss is a punishment in and of itself!”

Tommy turned around to immediately come face-to-face with Garfield, who had stepped into the office behind him.

“What are you looking at?” Tommy snapped at Garfield, who only stared him down, snarling. Tommy shook his head and stormed out of the office, upon which Garfield came face-to-face with Jon.

“What the hell are you thinking, Jon?” Garfield shouted.

“What do you mean?” Jon asked.

Garfield rolled his eyes. “What do you THINK I mean? Bringing in Odie! You saw the monster inside of me and unleashed it! Odie’s a slobbering, mangy, stupid moron! Do you really see a great wrestler in him? Because all I see is another Nathan Jones!”

“Garfield, as the interim commissioner of XCW, I’ve been swamped with booking arenas for future shows, contacting other companies, I’ve even been buying equipment for a special match I have planned in the coming months! So while I’m stuck here in the office, Odie will be accompanying you to the ring tonight.”

Garfield stepped back in disbelief. “Did you forget that I’m the World Heavyweight Champion? I don’t deserve someone like Odie at ringside with me! I need someone like you that. . .well. . .isn’t an idiot!”

“Well, as of right now, you’ve gotta get used to Odie! Now, go prepare for your match! I’m busy.”

Garfield took a step away from the desk but looked back at Jon as he reached the doorway.

“I swear to God, he better not cost me my title. . .”

Garfield stormed out of Jon’s office as the show went back to the ring, where Peach sat down next to Shake at the announcer’s table and put a set of headphones on.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, where we are joined by Princess Peach Toadstool!” Early said. “Peach, it’s nice to have you with us for this next match!”

“Thank you, Early!” Peach responded. “I came out here to do more than just commentary, I’m here scouting my opponent for next week!”

"T&A" by Jim Johnston plays as Nazz strutted onto the entranceway and posed to the crowd.

“The following women’s contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .she is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Champion. . .NAZZ!!!”

Nazz strode down the ramp and entered the ring under the bottom rope.

“The women’s champion Nazz gearing up for a tune-up match before she defends the championship against you, Peach, next week!” Early said.

Nazz climbed onto a top turnbuckle and raised the Women’s title above her head towards the fans.

“And I am eagerly looking forward to reclaiming what is mine!” Peach snapped back as Nazz stared her down from the top rope. Peach looked up at her with a scowl until. . .

“Sweet Dreams Are Made of These” by Marilyn Manson played! Marie Kanker strutted onto the entranceway and down the ramp to boos from the crowd.

“And her opponent. . .from the Park ‘n Flush Trailer Park in Peach Creek. . .MARIE KANKER!!!”

“While we haven’t seen much of Marie Kanker since the first episode of XCW Massacre, we just saw Lee Kanker compete earlier tonight in the Gauntlet match and Peach, if I may ask, you being in our Women’s division, what are your thoughts about the vicious assault on Sora Takenouchi that took place after that match?” Early asked.

“You thought that was vicious?” Peach asked, as Marie posed in the center of the ring. “Tonight was just a wake-up call for Sora. I will not let anyone take the Women’s Championship from me ever again. When we face each other at Endgame for MY Women’s Championship, I will do whatever is necessary to keep it, and that includes beating Sora until she can no longer move!”

“Bold words from Princess Peach!” Shake said as the bell rang and the match began.

Nazz and Marie stared each other down as they circled around the center of the ring before getting into a tie-up. Nazz put Marie in a side headlock and took her down with a snapmare before locking her in an armbar. Marie, however, fought out of it and tackled Nazz down to the mat and hit her in the face with furious slaps! Marie stepped off Nazz and taunted for her to get up. Nazz stood back up and Marie charged towards her for a bulldog. Nazz fought out of it by pushing Marie face-first into the corner turnbuckle. Nazz turned Marie to face her and slapped her in the chest with furious chop after chop, sending Marie to fall into a seated position. Nazz ran to the opposite turnbuckle and taunted Marie with the DX crotch chop before running toward Marie. . .

. . .and ramming her in the face repeatedly with the Bronco Buster!!! 

“Shake, we know you’d love to be in that position!” Early said sarcastically.

“You got that right!” Shake answered with a grin on his face.

Peach scoffed. “I’ve suffered from the Bronco Buster before. It’s such a juvenile move, even for a degenerate like Nazz!” 

Nazz pulled Marie into the center of the ring and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Marie kicked out!

Nazz pulled Marie up to her feet only for Marie to rake Nazz’s eyes. Marie tied up Nazz and took her down with a neckbreaker! Marie then ran against the ropes behind her and landed a running moonsault onto Nazz! Marie went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!

Marie lifted Nazz back up and kneed her in the face, knocking her against the ropes. As she bounced back, Marie took Nazz down with a huge dropkick! Marie then climbed up to the top rope and landed a Diving Elbow to the heart of the Women’s Champion! Marie went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!

“The Women’s Champion showing a lot of toughness in this one-on-one contest!” Early said, commenting on the action.

“Please. She may be tough, but I’m tougher.” Peach said, as Marie locked Nazz into an arm lock! The referee asked Nazz if she wanted to quit, but Nazz shook her head no. Nazz tried to scoot over to the ropes, but to no avail! Marie only locked the hold in tighter and tighter. . .until Nazz somehow pulled herself up to her feet, with Marie’s hold still locked in! Nazz kicked Marie in the shin to successfully break the hold, then spun behind her and took her down with a reverse DDT! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Marie kicked out! Nazz stood up and taunted for Marie to get up, signaling for All That Nazz!

Marie staggered up to her feet slowly until Nazz put her into a headlock and ran towards the ropes! Marie, however, kept her grip on Nazz and took her down to the mat with a back drop! Marie went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!

“Are we on the verge of an upset?” Shake wondered, as Marie Irish whipped Nazz into the corner. Marie lifted Nazz up to sit her onto the top rope. . .

. . .only for Nazz to put Marie into a headlock and successfully connect with All That Nazz!!! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Nazz stood up and posed in celebration as the bell rang!

“And Nazz able to successfully pull out the win once again!” Early said before Plankton made the announcement.

“Here is your winner. . .NAZZ!!!”  
The referee gave Nazz the Women’s title belt and raised her hand in victory!

“Tonight, Nazz showed our fans and even you, Peach, why she is worthy of being the XCW Women’s Champion!” Shake said to Peach, who rolled her eyes in response.

“Nazz was in the right place at the right time tonight! What happened here tonight and at March Majesty won’t happen next week!” Peach yelled as she ripped her headphones off and stood up.

Nazz climbed up to the top rope and raised the Women’s title belt above her head toward the fans until she met eyes with Peach, who was furiously screaming “YOU HEAR THAT, ‘CHAMP’? YOU’VE GOT ME NEXT WEEK! THAT BELT IS MINE!!!” Nazz then taunted Peach in response with the DX crotch chop!

“A war of words brewing between the former Women’s Champion and the former Women’s Champ right here!” Shake said.

“And this war will escalate next week, when Peach and Nazz face off one-on-one, with the Women’s Championship on the line!” responded Early as the show went to the backstage area.

Tommy Vercetti strode down a hallway with a pissed-off look on his face. He walks past the closed door to a medical bay, and quickly turns back around to go inside until a doctor hurriedly came out of the bay, and quickly shut the door.

“Hey, man, I need to get in there!” Tommy protested. “I left my phone in---“ 

The doctor stepped in front of the door, keeping Tommy away.

“I’m sorry Tommy, but I can’t let you in!” the doctor said.

“Why not?”

The doctor paused.

“Tai’s in there. . .with Sora.”

Tommy nodded his head as another doctor opened the door and gave the first doctor Tommy’s cell phone before quickly shutting the door.

“Here you are, Tommy.” the doctor said. “Good luck in your match tonight!”

“Yeah, thanks, I’m gonna need it.” Tommy said as he strode away from the doctor, back down the hallway toward the entranceway to the arena. Tommy put the phone on speakerphone and checked his voicemail as he continued walking.

“First unheard message---‘Hello, kind sir or madam. . .” said an old man. “This is Pastor Richards calling on behalf of the Pastor Richards Salvation Statue Fund---‘”

Tommy pushed a button on his phone.

“Message deleted. Next message---“

“Hey, Tommy.” came the voice of. . .

. . .Claude Speed!

“I just got out of the hospital. Deadpool and I did a number on each other. Thanks so much for the help last Saturday, I wouldn’t be WWE’s Hardcore Champion without it. I’ll be back soon.”

‘End of message’ said the phone in a robotic voice. Tommy closed his phone and shoved it into his pants pocket.

“Hopefully as soon as tonight. . .” Tommy muttered to himself before the show went to a commercial break.

After the show returned from break, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is a Handicap match set for one fall. . .and it is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event for the evening!”

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as Tommy Vercetti stomped down the ramp with a scowl on his face and a barbed wire 2x4 in hand, to cheers from the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . . the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

Tommy reached the ring apron and threw various weapons from under it, into the ring.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, where for the second time tonight, we will see the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, in competition tonight, albeit this time, he’s competing without the Hardcore title!” Early informed, as Tommy entered the ring above the second rope, raising a fist above his head toward the fans.

“And without his partner-in-crime, Claude Speed!” Shake added. “But as we saw before the break, Claude said to Tommy in a voicemail that he would be back soon! Will he return in time to save Tommy from these two men?”

“Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played as Garfield stomped down the ramp with Odie at his side to massive boos from the crowd. They each carried their respective title belts over their shoulders, their focus only on the ring.

“And his opponents. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. . .ODIE AND GARFIELD!!!”

“What on earth is going through the sick mind of Jon Arbuckle right now?” Early asked. 

“What do you mean, Early? He brought Odie into XCW to be Garfield’s new bodyguard! And by winning the Hardcore title from Tommy earlier tonight, he’s made it very clear that he and Garfield are an unstoppable force to be reckoned with!” Shake said as Garfield entered the ring by climbing over all three ropes, with Odie sliding in behind him.

“Garfield alone is an unstoppable force!” Early responded in disgust. “And for Jon to orchestrate Odie’s attack on Sora, Tai’s wife, earlier tonight, is nothing more than heinous! Arbuckle wants to do more than just keep the strap on Garfield, he wants to take over all of XCW, even at the expense of our talent!”

Garfield raised the title above his head toward the jeering fans, unaware that Tommy was charging right behind him! Tommy took Garfield down with a chop block, upon which the bell rang and the match began! Tommy stepped over Garfield and landed furious punch after punch onto Garfield’s face. . .only for Odie to come up from behind him and lift him up for a back body drop! Tommy fell out of it though, and Irish whipped Odie towards the ropes. On the bounceback, Tommy took Odie down with a Lou Thesz Press, and hammered away onto Odie with vicious right and left hands! Tommy stood up and swore like a sailor in intensity!

“While Tommy Vercetti helped keep the Immortals at bay for his buddy Claude Speed’s victory over Deadpool last Saturday night, right now he has a new target, and that is his XCW Hardcore title belt, which is now around the waist of Odie!” Early said, as Tommy pulled Odie up to his feet and nailed him in the face with right hands that backed Odie into the corner. As Tommy stomped a mudhole into Odie, Garfield came up from behind Tommy and turned him around to face him. Garfield then took Tommy down with a huge headbutt! Garfield then pointed at Odie, then at himself.

“Garfield telling his partner to back off, let the World Champion do the talking for the team!” Shake said, as Garfield stepped onto Tommy chest, and pulled down on the ropes to intensify the step! Tommy wheezed and screamed in agonizing pain as the referee ordered Garfield to step off him. Garfield released Tommy as the referee started the five count, then pulled Tommy up to a standing position. Garfield then Irish whipped Tommy against the ropes, and on the bounceback, sent Tommy flying through the air with a back drop that caused him to land on the concrete floor of the ringside area! Tommy winced in pain as he sold his lower back. Tommy struggled to push himself up to his feet. . .only for Garfield to throw him out of the ring toward Tommy. . .and take him down with a Diving Crossbody!

“Wow! Talk about teamwork!” Shake commented as Odie picked Tommy up by the shirt collar and slid him into the ring. Garfield went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! Garfield pulled Tommy up to his feet and Irish whipped him hard into the corner! Tommy bounced out of the corner from the impact only for Garfield to take him back down with a massive big boot! Garfield then grabbed Tommy by the throat and pulled him back into a standing position! However, Odie climbed onto the ring apron then leapt onto the top rope! Garfield let go of Tommy as Odie jumped off the ropes. . .

. . .and took Tommy down with a Springboard Dropkick! Odie went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! 

“So far, there’s good teamwork being shown here by Odie and the World Heavyweight Champion!” Shake observed.

“Garfield has the size and the power, while Odie has speed and high-flying ability! These two COULD be unstoppable!” Early said as Odie put Tommy in a headlock and took him down with a bulldog! Meanwhile, the crowd is chanting “We want Claude! We want Claude!”

“This crowd chanting for Claude Speed, the new Toon Hardcore Champion, and who can blame them?” Early asked. “This is an all-out assault on the Harwood Butcher, acting as a message from our interim commissioner, Jon Arbuckle!”

Odie then picked Tommy up and Irish whipped him into Garfield, who locked him into a massive Cathug!!! Garfield squeezed the life out of Tommy, who gasped and fought for air, but to no avail. The referee asked Tommy if he wanted to quit, but Tommy shook his head no, al beit slower and slower by the second, as he started to fade out of consciousness!

“You think Tommy will finally get the message Jon’s trying to send him? Don’t cross the boss!” Shake yelled, as the referee raised Tommy’s hand up and let it go. Meanwhile, Odie climbed onto a top turnbuckle!

“Loud and clear, Shake!” Early said. “But don’t forget one more thing, if he or Claude invade Animated again, per the new rule between GB and Arbuckle, they BOTH will be fired from XCW! It was fair reasoning for Vercetti and other wrestlers from XCW developmental to bring the fight to the Immortals!” In the ring, the referee raised Tommy’s hand once more, and let it fall back down.

“The only reason they’d want to go back there is to rub their victory into Deadpool’s face!” Shake said. “With McMahon and co. coming in town, he doesn’t want any scum like Vercetti or Speed doing any of that!” 

“In the meantime, now, the referee has to let Tommy’s arm drop one more time. . .” Early said as the referee raised Tommy’s arm one more time. . .

. . .until Odie jumped off the top rope and kicked Tommy in the back, sending him AND Garfield down to the mat, with Tommy on top of him for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Garfield powered out!!!

“HOW CLOSE OF A CALL DID THE WORLD CHAMP GET??” Early asked. “Odie made a huge mistake!”

Garfield sat up abruptly and stared Odie down maliciously. 

“He was able to kick out, though!” Shake said. “And plus it’s Odie’s first actual match! The champ should go easy on him.” 

Garfield pointed at Odie and said “I warned you. . .” until Tommy turned Garfield around and nailed him in the face repeatedly with right hand after right hand, which sent Garfield against the ropes. Tommy Irish whipped Garfield to the other side of the ring, after which, Odie tied Tommy up. Tommy, however, kneed Odie in the gut and took him down with a Double Arm DDT! As Garfield bounced back, Tommy lifted him up for a Standing Spinebuster. . .only for Tommy to collapse under Garfield’s weight! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! Garfield rolled off Tommy and extended his arm out for a Chokeslam while Tommy staggered to his knees. Odie ran toward Tommy and went for a punt to Tommy’s face only for Tommy to quickly stand up, tie up and lift Odie. . .and drop him with the Vercetti Driver! Before Tommy could make the cover, though, Garfield grabbed him by the throat!

“With his stupidity, Odie self-exposed the weak link in his team. . .but Garfield’s making up for it!” Shake said as Garfield lifted Tommy high above his head. . .

. . .and down to the mat with a thunderous Chokeslam! Garfield went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Garfield stood up and loomed over Tommy menacingly as the bell rang.

“Here are your winners. . .the team of ODIE AND GARFIELD!!!”

The referee handed Garfield and Odie their respective title belts and went to raise their hands in victory, only for Garfield to push the referee down to the mat!

“Garfield had to make up for some of Odie’s mistakes, but despite all that they emerged victorious in this handicap match!” Shake said as Garfield ordered Odie to beat on Tommy some more!

“And it doesn’t look like they’re done yet!” Early said as Odie and Garfield began to stomp the holy hell out of Tommy to massive boos from the crowd, who chanted “CLAUDE! CLAUDE! CLAUDE!”

“Tonight, Garfield, Odie and Commissioner Jon Arbuckle have sent messages to Tommy Vercetti AND the 2012 Majesty of March, and right now, they’re making both very clear---“ Early said, until running down the ramp in a blaze of fury and a steel chair in hand came---

“WAIT A MINUTE!!! IT’S TAI KAMIYA!” Early screamed as Tai slid into the ring and nailed Garfield in the back with the steel chair!

“Tai’s a house of fire with that chair!” Shake yelled as Garfield, who sold his back in pain, turned around to face Tai, only for Tai to nail him in the face with a vicious steel chair shot that sent Garfield down face-up onto the mat! Tai raised the chair above his head for another shot only for Odie to pull it out of his hands behind him. Tai shot back around to face Odie, who stepped back a bit. . .only for Tai to wrestle the chair out of Odie’s hands and nail him in the face with it!

“GOOD GRIEF!” Shake cringed as Odie fell to the mat and Garfield rolled out of the ring, wiping his face with his hand. . .to see blood! Garfield watched from the outside of the ring as Tai nailed Odie repeatedly in the head with the steel chair with unrelenting anger!

“THIS IS PAYBACK FOR THE ATTACK ON SORA EARLIER TONIGHT!!!” Early screamed as Tai hit Odie’s prone body with the chair until it was bent in half!

“TAI IS BEATING ODIE TO THE MAT, AND NO ONE CAN BLAME HIM!!!” Early yelled as Tai threw Odie’s limp, dazed body over the ropes and down to the ringside area.

Tai got a microphone from the timekeeper before looking at Garfield with an intense stare.

“Tai’s got the crazy eyes!” Shake observed. “What does he have to say?”

Tai put the microphone up to his mouth as he climbed up to a top rope.

“Oh, Garfield. . .Garfield. . .Garfield.” Tai said. “Earlier tonight, Jon spoke the truth! He said that you guys would destroy me in the worst way possible. . .and you did. Emotionally. BUT BY DOING SO, YOU’VE AWOKEN SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME. . .THAT’S BEEN SLEEPING FOR TOO LONG!!!!”

Tai suddenly dove off the top rope and nailed Garfield in the face with the microphone!!! Tai then stood over Garfield and looked him square in the face!

“You’ve brought the Extreme Team founder back to life! You’ve brought back the kind of monster that will do ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING TO DESTROY HIS OPPONENT, WITH NO REGARDS TO HIS OWN SAFETY!!! The kind of monster bigger than YOURSELF! And at Endgame. . .I will be sure to not only defeat you. . .but ensure that YOU, ODIE, AND ARBUCKLE WILL NEVER WALK THESE HALLS AGAIN!”

Tai threw the microphone at the barricade and heaved out large breaths of anger as he looked over at Odie, who laid motionless by the announce table, then looked back down at Garfield with the same crazed look.

“Attacking Sora got to Tai. . .I’d say that was a BAD idea now! How many concussions do you think Odie HAS right now?” Shake asked.

Tai stepped away from Garfield and back to Odie’s unconscious body.

“I have no idea, Shake! But what I do know is that the extreme side of Tai Kamiya has been unleashed!” Early said. “He will do whatever it takes to keep Garfield and co. from attacking his wife again! Who knows what Tai will put himself and Garfield through at Endgame???”

Tai looked down at Odie and Garfield with more malice than before as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Alrighty, guys! There’s part two. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to improve my promo writing, or if anyone is out of character in anyway. The next episode will come soon, as will the prologue for my second fic, which I’ve had a bit of writer’s block with; I apologize for that. But until the next episode, RATE/REVIEW!!!

Results

Tommy Vercetti defeated Kevin  
Odie defeated Tommy Vercetti (won XCW Hardcore Championship)  
Sora Takenouchi defeated Yuna, Lee Kanker and Faye Valentine (wins No. 1 Contendership for XCW Women’s Championship)  
Nazz defeated Marie Kanker  
Garfield and Odie defeated Tommy Vercetti


	18. XCW Massacre: April Week 3 Part 1

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“After a vicious attack on Sora Takenouchi, Garfield and Odie witnessed the reemergence of the extreme beast inside Tai Kamiya! What will happen between them as we come to be 13 days away from Endgame? Welcome to Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, where we are live tonight from Cerulean City! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight, Shake, we have a solid lineup of action for the fans here in attendance tonight!”

“We sure do, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “Tonight we’re going to see Nazz put the Women’s Championship on the line in a March Majesty rematch against Peach!”

“Also we will see Arthur go one-on-one with Daffy Duck, but our interim commissioner continues on his quest to destroy Tai Kamiya with our main event tonight, which pits the number one contender in a handicap match against Garfield and Odie!”

“Jon has made the odds in the World and Hardcore Champion’s favor once again!” Shake said. “I can’t wait to see what else these fans are in store for here tonight!”

X-Pac's DX theme plays as Rolf steps onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, with Ed and Edd right behind him!

“But we start off with one-on-one action between two rival stables!” Early said as Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Ed and Double D. . .representing D-Generation-Ed. . .from The Old Country. . .he is The Son of a Shepherd. . .ROLF!!!”

Rolf did the DX crotch chop three times along with Ed and Edd, with pyro going off in unison to it each time.

“Last week, tensions between the South Park Four and D-Generation Ed resurfaced on an edition of The Ed Factor, and eventually led to a match being made for Endgame: D-Generation Ed will defend the XCW Tag Team titles against two members of the South Park Four!” informed Early.

“But tonight, the third man in D-Ed squares off against one of the Ed’s opponents that will be in that tag match at Endgame! Both Ed and Edd can’t wait to find out who that man is!” Early said as “What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played, and Stan Marsh walked onto the ramp with Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman right behind him.

“And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Kyle Broflovski and The Enforcer, Eric Cartman. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .STAN MARSH!!!”

“While he may not be known for anything in singles competition, Stan Marsh has led the South Park Four to legendary status in multiple wrestling companies over the years!” said Early.

Stan entered the ring and climbed onto a turnbuckle, saluting the fans as D-Ed looked across the ring at Kyle and Cartman, staring them both down.

“And tonight marks his first singles match in XCW!” Shake added. “With his opponent being the high-flying Rolf of D-Ed, we’re looking to start off with an exciting match!”

The bell rang and the match began with Rolf and Stan pacing around the ring and staring each other down until they came into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Stan put Rolf into a wrist lock and wrenched on Rolf’s arm only for Rolf to flip out of it and take Stan down with an arm drag. Rolf ran toward Stan’s prone body and landed a leg drop to Stan’s shoulder! Rolf then pulled Stan up to his feet from behind and Irish whipped him against the ropes. On the bounceback, Rolf slid face-down onto the mat, forcing Stan to jump over him and bounce against the ropes on the other side. As Stan came back again, Rolf took Stan down with a missile dropkick! Rolf quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out! Rolf pulled Stan up by the shirt only for Stan to slap him in the chest with a chop! Stan continued to hit Rolf in the chest with chop after chop until he came up against the ropes behind him. Stan backed up and charged at Rolf for a clothesline. . .only for Rolf to back drop Stan over the ropes and down to the ringside floor!

Rolf waited for Stan to rise up to his knees as the referee began the ten count! Rolf then ran against the ropes behind him and ran toward Stan. On the bounceback, Rolf leapt onto the ropes in front of him and took Stan back down with a Vaulting Body Press! Rolf and Stan laid on the concrete floor dazed as the referee’s ten count restarted. Rolf pulled Stan up by his collar and started to Irish whip him into the steel steps. . .only for Stan to counter it into an Irish whip of his own, and send Rolf chest first into the steps; Rolf crashing into them with a sickening thud! As Stan stepped over to Rolf, Cartman and Kyle stood over Rolf and taunted him. “Stand back, guys! He’s my opponent!” Stan ordered as he pulled Rolf up by the hair and shoved him into the ring under the bottom rope. Stan slid in behind him and taunted for Rolf to get up. Rolf stood up and was quickly met by a series of right hands from Stan, and then was knocked down to the mat with a huge uppercut! Stan then ran against the ropes and landed a leg drop onto Rolf! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!

“The leader of the South Park Four looking to keep the high-flying Rolf grounded in this one-on-one contest!” said Early, as Stan went to lock Rolf in the Sharpshooter. . .

. . .but Rolf kicked Stan in the face and against the ropes behind him. As Stan bounced back, Rolf flipped up to his feet, caught Stan and took him down with a Monkey Flip! Stan shot back up and charged at Rolf, who surprised him with an Inside Cradle pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!

Stan and Rolf got into another tie-up and Rolf pushed Stan up against the corner. Rolf nailed Stan in the chest with chop after chop until Stan fell into a seated position. Rolf then ran against the opposite turnbuckle and turned around to see Kyle and Cartman at ringside. Rolf then gave them the DX crotch chop before facing forward and running towards Stan for the Bronco Buster. . .

. . .only for Stan to roll out of the way, causing Rolf to land on the bottom turnbuckle! Rolf screamed in agonizing pain as Stan stepped toward his lower body and locked him in the Sharpshooter! Rolf reached toward the ropes as he let out another scream. . .

. . .but had to tap out!!! However, Stan kept the hold locked onto Rolf as the bell rang! 

“Here is your winner. . .STAN MARSH!!!”

“Stan Marsh took advantage of a mistake by Rolf to gain the victory!” Early said. “But now this is too much!”

Edd and Ed slid into the ring, with Ed charging toward Stan for a clothesline. Kyle and Cartman, however, entered the ring and began to brawl with the Eds!

“Stan Marsh sent a message to the Eds through Rolf!” said Shake. “And that the South Park Four are gonna bring a fight to them at Endgame!”

While Cartman brawled with Ed and Kyle traded punches with Edd, Stan pulled Rolf out of the ring and nailed him in the chest with a chop against the ring apron! Stan then Irish whipped Rolf toward the barricade, and right into. . .

. . .KENNY MCCORMICK WHO LEAPT OVER THE BARRICADE AND LANDED A STEEL CHAIR SHOT TO ROLF!

“Good God almighty!” Early cringed. “Rolf’s brains have been scrambled!”

“Will The Extremist be Stan’s partner at Endgame?” Shake wondered, as Kyle and Cartman kicked the Eds in the gut and took them both down at the same time with South Park Stunners!

“The South Park Four have outright dominated D-Ed tonight!” Early said, as the South Park Four raised their arms above their heads in celebration to a mixed reaction from the crowd!

“Will they ring D-Ed’s bell again and become the new XCW Tag Team Champions?” Shake asked before the show went to the backstage area, where Tai Kamiya sat in a training room next to a doctor at the foot of a training bed that Sora Takenouchi was laying on.

“Sora, your ribs are still bruised, but she’ll be well enough to compete by Endgame.” the doctor said. “But until then, you’re not medically cleared.”

“I understand.” Sora said, relieved. “Thank you, doctor!”

Suddenly a knocking came from the outside of the room. “Come in!” Tai yelled. The door opened, and Tommy Vercetti stepped into the doorway and shut the door behind him. 

Tai looked at him with a scowl. “Oh, it’s you. What do you want?”

“I just wanted to---“ Tommy started to say until Tai stood up and got into his face.

“Wanted to what? Tell me I’m too wrapped up in my wife after she was savagely attacked? YOU THINK I CARE TOO MUCH NOW???? IS THAT IT?”

Tommy put his hands up in protest. “Hey! Hey! Hey! Calm down, shut up, and listen to me. I don’t mean any trouble.”

Tai sat back down and looked up at Tommy.

“Now listen, you and I couldn’t be more different.” Tommy said. “I’m a psychopath, and you’re a young, born, and proven leader. I know I’ve said some things about you two before that were out of line, and you beating me for the March Majesty crown hasn’t been easy to get over. But if there’s one thing we do have in common, it’s that we both want a piece of Garfield, Odie, and especially Jon Arbuckle. And I’m willing to sweep everything between us under the rug tonight to help you in the main event; and since Sora’s not gonna be out there with you, you need it, trust me!”

“You want to help me?” Tai asked skeptically.

“I want to be your tag team partner tonight. Garfield and Odie will eat you alive out there like they did to me last week!” Tai stood back up and extended his hand for a handshake, which Tommy immediately accepted.

“Alright.” Tai said, nodding his head. “We’re on for tonight. But if you say anything rude about me or my wife---“

“Trust me, we’re cool.” Tommy assured, as he opened the door behind him. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to reclaim my title.”

Tommy left the room and shut the door behind him. Tai sat back down next to Sora and caressed her taped-up abdomen as the show went to a commercial break.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre where now, Shake, the main event tonight has been turned from a handicap match to a tag team match!” Early said.

“You’re right about that!” Shake said. “I’m surprised that Tommy even offered to help Tai out! We’ll see if they really co-exist as a team later on tonight.”

“And after being attacked by Odie and Jon last week, Sora Takenouchi has been diagnosed with bruised ribs!” Early added. “She’ll be cleared to compete by Endgame, but the question is, will she be 100 percent?” 

“I don’t know about that, but what I do know is that up next we’re gonna see my favorite wrestler in action!” Shake said, as Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand. Suddenly. . .

. . .the ‘Dashing’ Cody Rhodes theme played! Arthur stepped onto the stage wearing a yellow hooded vest, a la Cody Rhodes.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from Elwood City. . .ARTHUR!!!”

Arthur pushed the hood behind his head, revealing his face to boos from the crowd. Arthur began to speak into a microphone as he walked down the ramp.

“You people are ridiculous!” Arthur said as the crowd booed even louder. “Since XCW’s inception, you all got behind a man who has done nothing but poison your minds with over-the-top violence and even crossdressing for your amusement for the past 80 years! You people have followed this man for so long, that it is too late for me to save you all!” 

Arthur entered the ring above the second rope and came to the center of the ring, scanning the audience, who chanted “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

“But while I cannot save you people, I can at least save your children, like I have for the last decade! I will teach them good morals, rules for living, and above all else. . .I will teach them life lessons! And after I beat Bugs Bunny’s best friend right here, right now, I will face Bugs for the XCW World Television Championship at Endgame! When that happens, I assure you, I will teach Bugs a life lesson that he will not soon forget!”

“Wabbit” by Misshin played as Daffy Duck ran onto the stage.

“And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by the World Television Champion, Bugs Bunny. . .from New York City, New York. . .DAFFY DUCK!!!”

“He may be a PBS kid, but Arthur sure isn’t behaving like one!” Early said, as Daffy strode down the ramp with Bugs Bunny behind him.

“This is fictional wrestling, Early! He can’t go back to his PBS kid roots in a wrestling ring!” Shake said. “I like Arthur’s attitude! He’s honest about what he says, and he’s gonna back his words up in this match right now!”

The bell rang and the match began with Arthur and Daffy in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Arthur put Daffy into a side headlock but Daffy fought out of it with right hands to Arthur’s sternum. Daffy and Arthur quickly got into another tie-up and this time, Daffy put Arthur into a side headlock of his own and took him down with a side headlock takedown. Daffy wrenched onto Arthur’s neck and elbowed him in the face repeatedly before going for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out! Daffy pulled Arthur up to his feet and Irish whipped him in the corner. Daffy landed shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust into Arthur’s body until he fell into a seated position. Daffy then proceeded to stomp a mudhole into Arthur before pulling him back into the center of the ring for another pin attempt. 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out!

“Daffy taking it to the PBS kid!” Early said. “Here’s hoping Arthur learns a life lesson about respect!”

Daffy pulled Arthur up to his feet until Arthur suddenly raked Daffy’s eyes! Daffy winced in pain until Arthur grasped him into a waist lock and took him down with a belly-to-back side slam! Arthur then raked Daffy’s back before lifting him back up to a standing position. Arthur then put Daffy into a waist lock and took Daffy down with an Atomic Drop! Arthur went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Arthur looked at the referee and protested the count. After the referee insisted the count was two, Arthur looked back down at Daffy and locked him in an Indian Deathlock! Daffy screamed in agonizing pain as he extended his arm toward the bottom rope in front of him.

“And Arthur now, with the use of dirty tactics, has gained control in this match!” Early said, as the referee asked Daffy if he wanted to quit.

“Dirty tactics, Early? Really?” Shake asked. “Arthur is showing us why he deserves the World Television Championship, and he’s sold me on his in-ring ability and athleticism here tonight!”

Daffy shook his head no and slowly inched his way toward the ropes! Arthur intensified the hold. . .

. . .while Daffy extended his arm out. . .

. . .and successfully grabbed onto the bottom rope, forcing Arthur to break the hold! Arthur let go of the hold and pulled Daffy back into the center of the ring before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Arthur couldn’t believe it!

Arthur went to apply the Indian Deathlock again, this time with a Crossface applied for good measure! Daffy, however, kicked his legs out of the hold and grabbed onto Arthur’s sides from behind with his arms. Daffy managed to stand up, picking Arthur up behind him with the Crossface still applied! Daffy elbowed Arthur off him, and successfully fought out of the Crossface by taking Arthur down with a swinging neckbreaker! Daffy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out! Daffy rolled off Arthur and slowly staggered up to his feet, taunting for Arthur to get up!

“An impressive counter puts Daffy Duck back in the driver’s seat!” Early said, as Arthur slowly rose to his feet. Daffy grabbed Arthur by the arms and went for the Killswitch. . .

. . .only for Arthur to shove Daffy toward the ropes! As Daffy ran towards them, however, he leapt onto the ropes. . .jumped off them. . .

. . .AND TOOK ARTHUR DOWN WITH A SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK! Daffy went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ARTHUR KICKED OUT!!! Daffy hit the mat repeatedly in frustration! Daffy then stood up, pulling Arthur up with him by his shirt. Daffy tied Arthur’s arms up. . .turned him around. . .

. . .but Arthur slipped out of it and hit Daffy from behind with a Low Blow! As Daffy grasped his private parts in pain, Arthur grabbed Daffy by the neck. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE FINAL CHAPTER (Cross Rhodes)!!! Arthur went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Arthur stood up and looked down at Daffy with an evil smirk on his face as the bell rang!

“Here is your winner. . .ARTHUR!!!”

The crowd erupted into boos as Bugs slid into the ring, charging toward Arthur! Arthur, however, slid out of the ring before he could get to him.

“Damn it! Arthur stole the victory!” Early said, as Arthur taunted Bugs from outside of the ring.

“It’s still a victory, though, Early! And now Arthur is one step closer to becoming World Television Champion!” Shake said, as Bugs and Arthur continued to argue with each other until the show went to a hallway in the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood next to Nazz with a microphone in hand.

“Nazz. . .” Carl said, “. . .up next, you defend the Women’s Championship in a rematch from March Majesty against Peach. Should you win tonight, you will defend the Championship again at Endgame against a less-than 100% Sora Takenouchi. Can I get your thoughts on both matchups?”

“Well, Carl,” Nazz answered, “Peach misses the Women’s Championship like these people miss their Gym Leader. She’s been driven to insanity without the belt around her waist, and after tonight, she’ll have to be committed to the psych ward, because I will do the same thing I did to her at March Majesty: defeat her and put this title around my waist.”

Nazz draped the Women’s title belt over her shoulder, revealing it to be Betty Boop-themed.

“And that brings me to Sora. We’ve never faced each other in the ring before, save for a brief interaction in the opening Women’s Battle Royal on the first episode of Massacre. But since then I’ve seen all of her matches, and I see a lot of myself in her. She gives 110 percent every time she steps into that ring, injured or not, just like me. And like me, she is aligned with one of the most decorated figures in this business. And we are also two of the best technical wrestlers, not only in women’s wrestling, but fictional wrestling as a whole! The only difference right now between me, Sora and Peach for that matter. . .is that I’m the current Women’s Champion, and that gives me the extra incentive to put up a fight! And if Sora and Peach don’t like it. . .I’ve got two words for them!”

Nazz did the DX crotch chop toward the camera before strutting down the hallway! Carl was left flabbergasted as the show went to a commercial break. 

As the show came back from break, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Championship!!!”

"Brackish" by Kittie played as Peach strutted down the ramp to a chorus of boos.

“Introducing first. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .PEACH!!!” 

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, last week Peach showed signs of mental instability following Nazz winning the Women’s title from her at March Majesty!” Early said.

Peach blew a kiss to the referee as she entered the ring. She then climbed to the top of a corner turnbuckle and blew another kiss toward the crowd.

“She has a need for gold that only a win tonight can satisfy!” Shake said, as Peach looked down the ramp with a look of evil on her face.

"T&A" by Jim Johnston played as Nazz strutted onto the entranceway and posed to the crowd, raising the Women’s title belt up in the air.

“And her opponent. . .representing D-Generation-Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .she is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Champion. . .NAZZ!!! 

Nazz strutted down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“Which match-up would you prefer to see at Endgame, Shake: Nazz vs. Sora or Peach vs. Sora?” Early asked.

“I have no idea, Early!” answered Shake. “But I do know one thing’s for sure. Whichever match we get will feature two very prolific stars in women’s fictional wrestling!”

“Between Sora, Nazz and Peach, all three of them have had a combined 8 Women’s Championship reigns between them---“ Early said as Nazz slid into the ring, only for Peach to immediately charge at her and hammer away at her body with fierce, quick strikes!

“---but who will be Champion after this match???” Early suddenly asked as the bell rang and the match began! Peach continued to slap and punch away at Nazz’s head until Nazz headbutted Peach! Nazz shot up to her feet and took Peach down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away at Peach’s face with furious right hands! Nazz then ran against the ropes and landed a falling elbow to Peach’s sternum! Nazz went for the quick cover 1. . .Peach kicked out! Peach charged toward Nazz only for Nazz to pull down on the middle rope, sending Peach down to the ringside floor! Nazz got onto the ring apron and waited for Peach to stand up. . .

. . .and took her down with a Missile Dropkick on the concrete floor! Nazz and Peach laid prone on the ringside floor as the referee began the ten count!

“This match has only just begun. . .and already the challenger and champion are out on the concrete floor!” Early exclaimed. “What more will these two women do to each other?”

Nazz and Peach slowly rose to their feet and began brawling by the timekeeper’s booth. They continued trading right hands until Peach surprised Nazz with a huge slap with her left hand, dazing her! Peach then threw Nazz toward the timekeeper’s booth, sending her to hit it midsection first! Peach ran toward Nazz and hit her with a dropkick to the back, crushing Nazz chest-first into the barricade again! The referee’s count reached four at this point. Peach then grabbed Nazz by the face and took her down with a Backbreaker! Peach then pulled Nazz up by the hair and slammed her face-first into the steel steps before finally sliding her into the ring, right before the referee’s count reached seven.

“Peach is just destroying the Champion!” Shake said. “She’ll do anything to wear the Women’s title around her waist again!”

Nazz rolled on the mat, selling her chest in pain until Peach pulled her to the center of the ring for a pin attempt! 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out! Peach shot up and looked at Nazz in disbelief!

“Peach has got the crazy eyes!” Early observed. “What’s she gonna do now?”

Peach pulled Nazz up to her feet by the hair and threw her face-first into a corner turnbuckle. Peach raised Nazz’s head up and tried to ram it into the turnbuckle. . .but Nazz grabbed onto the ropes before impact! Nazz then hit Peach in the chest with a quick elbow! Nazz then turned to face Peach and hit her in the face with a right hand! Nazz continued to hit her with punch after punch until she was against the ropes. Nazz then Irish whipped Peach toward the ropes on the other side of the ring, and on the bounceback, Nazz took her down with a Powerslam! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out! Nazz picked Peach back up and took her back down, this time with a scoop slam! Nazz then ran against the ropes behind her and landed a running moonsault onto Peach! Nazz went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out!

“The champion now regaining momentum!” said Early, as Nazz went to lock Peach into a Mexican Surfboard. . .but Peach countered out of it and locked Nazz into an STF! Nazz writhed in pain and gasped for air as the referee knelt down and asked her if she wanted to quit. Nazz shook her head no and wormed a bit closer to the ropes in front of her!

“No! Peach found an opening! And now she’s in the driver’s seat!” Early exclaimed.

“Nazz fought out of the abdominal stretch. . .she won’t fight out of the STF!” Shake said, as Nazz inched closer to the ropes. . .

. . .brushed the edge of the bottom rope with her fingertips. . .

. . .and on the next reach, successfully latched onto the rope with her hand, forcing Peach to break the hold! Peach, however, kept the hold locked in until the referee’s five count went to four. Peach then pulled Nazz back up and took her down with a back drop! Peach went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 NAZZ KICKED OUT!!! Peach looked up at the referee in disbelief!!! 

“The Champion isn’t through just yet!” Early yelled, as Peach stood up and taunted for Nazz to get up. Once Nazz managed to stumble up to her feet, Peach leapt up for a Tornado DDT. . .but Nazz countered it into a suplex! Both Peach and Nazz were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count!

“Both women are down! Who will be the Women’s Champion, and defend against Sora at Endgame?” Early wondered, as the show briefly showed Sora laying on the medical bed, her full attention on the match playing on a TV in front of her.

Back in the ring, Nazz and Peach slowly rose to their feet and traded punches in the center of the ring, with the crowd chanting “BOO!” in unison with Peach’s punches, and “YAY!” in unison with Nazz’s punches. They continued trading punches until Nazz surprised Peach with a high knee! Nazz then Irish whipped Peach into the corner, then charged toward her and took her down to a seated position with a shoulder thrust! The crowd now on their feet, Nazz raised a fist up in the air, gasping for breath. Nazz then ran to the opposite corner. . .

. . .ran toward Peach. . .

. . .and repeatedly hit her with the Bronco Buster! Peach slid out of the corner, under Nazz. . .who kept her grip on the top ropes. . .

. . .and landed a corner slingshot splash onto Peach! Nazz went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 PEACH KICKED OUT!!! Nazz shot up from the cover in shock!

“Nazz just can’t put Peach away!” Early said, as Nazz stepped to a corner behind her, taunting for Peach to get up.

“She’ll take all kinds of punishment just to regain the Women’s Championship!” declared Shake.

Peach staggered up to her feet and looked Nazz in the eyes. Nazz stared Peach down and gave her the DX crotch chop! Nazz charged toward Peach, locked her in a headlock. . .

. . .jumped against the ropes. . .

. . .and ALMOST HIT ALL THAT NAZZ, BUT PEACH PUSHED NAZZ OFF HER AND TOWARD THE ROPES!!! On the bounceback, Peach rolled Nazz up for a pin attempt. . .

. . .WITH A HANDFUL OF TIGHTS, AND HER OTHER HAND ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!

“SHE’S GOT THE TIGHTS!” yelled Early. “PEACH’S GOT THE DAMN TIGHTS AND THE ROPE!”

The referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“DAMN IT! PEACH STOLE ONE! PEACH HAS STOLEN THE WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP!!!” Early screamed as the bell rang, and Peach leapt off Nazz in triumph!

“The winner of this match. . .AND NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WOMEN’S CHAMPION. . .PEACH!!!”

The crowd booed ravenously as the referee went to raise Peach’s arm in victory. Peach, however, slapped it away and snatched the Women’s title belt from him before rolling out of the ring, hugging the belt tightly.

“I don’t believe this!” cried Early, as the show went back to the training area, where Sora was sitting up on the medical bed, looking at the TV with her mouth agape and eyes wide in disbelief! “And neither can Sora! Peach couldn’t beat Nazz, and everyone knows it, especially the former champion!”

Fuming with anger, Nazz stood up and stomped toward the referee. She and the referee got into a heated argument as Peach made it to the entranceway, and fastened the title belt around her waist.

 

“The former Women’s Champion is furious with the outcome, and who can blame her?” asked Early.

“Nazz can cry and whine all she wants, but like it or not, Peach got the three count through a great rollup pin, and will defend her newly won Women’s Championship against Sora at Endgame!” Shake said. “And with Sora most likely not at full strength, that match is looking to be a cakewalk!”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, Shake!” Early yelled. “I. . .Why am I partners with you again?”

Peach raised her arms up above her head, maniacally laughing as the show went to the backstage area, where Odie sat in a medical bay in front of a doctor. The doctor pulled out a small flashlight and flashed it into one of Odie’s eyes.

“Now, Odie, follow the light with your eyes for me.” said the doctor.

He moved the light across both of Odie’s eyes, which were incredibly slow to follow the light.

“Hmm. . .Jon said you weren’t showing any concussion symptoms yesterday. What could be the problem?”

Suddenly, from the outside of the room. . .

. . .Tommy Vercetti knocked the door off its hinges with a baseball bat! With a referee behind him, he stepped into the medical bay and pointed at Odie with the bat, smiling sadistically!

“He’s a slobbering idiot, Doc!” Tommy said. “After all, why else would he steal from the Harwood Butcher?”

Tommy charged at Odie and swung the bat toward him, but Odie dodged it, causing Tommy to hit the bed in front of him. Odie ran past Tommy and out the door, into the hallway.

However, Odie began to stumble into walls and trip over his feet the more he ran, his eyes crossed due to dizziness!

“Tommy gunning for the Hardcore Champion, but Odie’s totally out of it!” Early declared.

“This is heinous!” Shake exclaimed. “He’s probably dumber than he was before joining XCW! At least then he knew where he was!”

With Tommy lunging behind him, Odie ran in different directions down the hallway until he came to a door at the end of it. Odie went to open it. . .

. . .only to be kicked in the face! Tommy finally caught up to Odie, who was knocked out cold. Catching his breath, Tommy looked ahead of him and smiled at the person in front of him.

“Fancy seeing you here!” Tommy said, as the cameras panned right to reveal that the man who kicked Odie was. . .

. . .CLAUDE SPEED!

Claude looked back at Tommy with a grin, and the Toon WWE Hardcore title belt over his shoulder.

“That felt good!” Claude said as he shook Tommy’s hand. “I gotta go to the ring to say some things. In the meantime, he’s all yours!”

“Much appreciated, brother!” Tommy said, as the referee finally caught up to him, and made the count as Tommy went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Tommy stood over Odie and the referee handed him the XCW Hardcore title belt.

“Congratulations, Tommy Vercetti! You are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!”

The referee raised Tommy’s arm in victory before leaving the hallway. 

“I can’t believe that!” Shake said in disgust. “Tommy beat up a defenseless animal! As far as I’m concerned, he can’t stoop any lower!”

Tommy stepped over Odie’s prone body and walked through the doorway in front of him.

“He’s taken advantage of the 24/7 rule more than anyone else here, Shake! That’s why he’s the Hardcore Champion once again!” Early said. “But better yet, Claude Speed is back! What will he have to say when we come back?”

“And the new XCW Hardcore Champion, Tommy Vercetti will team up with World Title number one contender Tai Kamiya to face World Champion Garfield and Odie!” Shake said. “But now are the odds in Tai and Tommy’s favor?”  
The doctor from before comes up to Odie’s unconscious body and checks on him as the show goes to a commercial.

Okey-dokey, there’s part one. As always, let me know if there's anything at all I can do to improve my promo writing, or anything, really. Part two will come soon, in the meantime, RATE/REVIEW!


	19. XCW Massacre: April Week 3 Part 2

Following TNA’s surprising rise above mediocrity, the worst episode of RAW in recent memory, and Super Cena overcoming the odds yet again, comes part two of this episode of XCW! I only own my championships.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, flames exploded on the stage, and “No Mercy” by Pharaoh Monche played! The crowd erupted into a standing ovation as Claude Speed walked onto the stage and down the ramp with the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship over his shoulder, and a microphone in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome back. . .the NEW Toon WWE Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and what a standing ovation, and deservedly so for Claude Speed!” Early said.

Claude entered the ring above the second rope and climbed onto a top turnbuckle, raising the WWE Hardcore title belt above his head toward the fans.

“He left his imprint on the business of fiction wrestling by defeating Deadpool and taking the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship to XCW!” said Shake.

Claude stepped back onto the mat and looked around the arena at the fans, who were chanting “WELCOME BACK!” and “YOU’RE HARDCORE!”

“Liberty City’s Lucifer is now Toon Hardcore Champion!” Early said. “What does he have to say?”

Claude put the microphone up to his mouth with a smile on his face.

“Damn, it feels good to be back in an XCW ring!” said Claude, to thunderous cheers from the crowd!

“Hearing you guys call me hardcore makes it worth getting thrown down three flights of stairs. . .and pistol whipped in the head twice. . .and smashed through an announce table and busted open in the head in two different places. All the humiliation and pain that Deadpool put me through on Animated was all worth it, because I come back here to you all, not only with a victory over Deadpool under my belt, but also with. . .well, a brand new belt!”

Claude raised the Toon Hardcore title belt up to the camera, to cheers from the crowd!

“I proved to Deadpool that I am the best Hardcore wrestler, and the best Hardcore Champion in the history of this industry! So now I’m back in XCW, and since I got out of the hospital last week, people have been asking me, ‘Claude, you beat Deadpool and you’re now holding a title that belongs to another company! What do you have left to prove?’ Well, allow me to tell you all here tonight, that I know I have quite a lot left to prove, and something I saw after my fight against Deadpool showed me quite a bit.”

“You see, after Tommy and his crew picked me up, I got wasted. Not wasted off of alcohol, the other kind of wasted. I downed a beer as we pulled away, but from the beating I had just received, all I could taste in my mouth was blood. I sat back in my seat, trying to relax. . .but I passed out and woke up in a hospital bed a couple days later. And now I don’t know what caused it, anesthetics, painkillers, all the blood loss. . .but while I was out cold, I saw a lot of things. I saw myself in the ring kicking more asses, busting more people open. . .and winning more championships. And that’s going to start as soon as Endgame. Now, I have nothing against Bugs Bunny. . .and EVERYTHING against Arthur. . .but I had my sights set on the World Television Championship before I left, and I have my sights on it right now. So you guys better make room for one more, because I’ve earned a shot at the World Television Title, and at Endgame, I intend to win it!

And after I win the World Television Championship, I intend to do much more. . . I intend to make XCW known for more than just its hardcore division. . .and I intend to grow into the most versatile wrestler this industry’s ever seen. And once I do that, this two-bit criminal vows to go further in my career than any one like me ever will, and represent this company as. . .

. . .XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!”

Claude stopped talking as the crowd erupted into cheers! He looked around the arena as the fans chanted “CLAUDE! CLAUDE! CLAUDE!” and “YOU’RE HARDCORE!”  
He put the microphone up to his mouth and began to speak again.

“And it all starts right here, right now, because I’m back in XCW, and I’m in the mood for a fight! So I’m issuing an open challenge! If any superstar in the back wants to take me on one-on-one, come out right now and face me!”

Claude threw the microphone out of the ring and looked down the ramp in anticipation as the crowd cheered in surprise!

“Claude issuing an open challenge to the entire XCW roster! Who will step up?” Early wondered.

“Whoever does might have a death wish!” Shake answered. “I’ve never seen Claude this pumped for a fight!”

Claude stared down the ramp as the show went to the backstage area. In a medical bay, Jon Arbuckle and Garfield stood next to a doctor, who was checking on Odie. 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Arbuckle.” said the doctor. “He’s out like a light! I couldn’t clear him to compete before, and I can’t clear him now!”

“That damn Vercetti. . .wait a minute---” Jon said. “If Odie wasn’t cleared to compete, then. . .I’ll come to that later. First, I have to find Garfield a new tag partner for tonight!”

“No you don’t, Jon!” Garfield yelled, causing Jon to suddenly face the World Heavyweight Champion. “You’re going to keep the match as it is right now: a Handicap match! You’ve turned all the attention onto yourself instead of me, your own World Champion, and Odie’s been nothing but a nuisance and a weak spot since you brought him in! I am the World Champion for a reason, and the idiots in the stands, Tommy Vercetti, and ESPECIALLY Tai Kamiya need to be reminded why: because I am a monstrous, unstoppable death machine.”

“You ARE an unstoppable death machine, no question!” Jon complied, nodding his head nervously. “But. . .I do need to go out there with you just for tonight. . .I have to make a couple announcements to your opponents tonight about Endgame! And I guarantee that both of them will please you!”

“Good.” Garfield said, backing away from Jon. “And let me make one thing perfectly clear! If anyone gets in my way of retaining my title at Endgame, opponent or otherwise. . .I’ll run. . .right. . .through them.”

Garfield threw the Mickey Mouse themed World title belt over his shoulder and stomped out of the training area. Jon was left with a scared look on his face as the show went to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .he is the Toon WWE Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

Claude Speed stood in the ring up against the ropes behind him, looking down the ramp in anticipation for his opponent. Suddenly. . .

“Tank!” by The Seatbelts played! Spike Spiegel strode down the ramp with a lit cigarette in his mouth to a mixed reaction.

“And his opponent. . .from Planet Mars. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

“We’re back live on Monday Night Massacre, and right now we’re about to see Claude Speed compete in an XCW ring for the first time since winning the Toon WWE Hardcore Title!” said Early. “And who better to face than Spike Spiegel?”

Spike climbed up the steel steps and flicked the cigarette butt against the barricade as he entered the ring.

“You got that right, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “Spike did help keep the Immortals at bay right before Claude’s match against Deadpool, but he and Claude have some unfinished business from a few months ago! And Spike’s looking to finish it here tonight!”

The bell rang and the match began with Claude charging toward Spike and taking him down with a Lou Thesz Press! Claude then hammered away at Spike’s face with vicious right and left hands! Claude then rolled off Spike and taunted for him to get up. Spike rose up to his feet only for Claude to take him back down with a High Knee! Claude went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out! Claude pulled Spike up to a seated position by the hair and backed up a bit. Claude ran toward Spike for another knee to the face, but Spike rolled out of the way, causing Claude to run into the corner. As Claude bounced off the corner and came to face Spike, Spike knocked him in the jaw with an uppercut, sending Claude against the ropes behind him. As Claude bounced off, Spike took Claude down with a clothesline! Spike went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out!

“Claude left XCW and came back, now he has to regain his ground before the triple threat match at Endgame!” Shake said. 

“But Spike has a bone to pick with him, and he’s doing it right now!” added Early.

Spike pulled Claude up to his feet and threw him into a corner shoulder-first, sending Claude to collide right into the post! Spike pulled him out of the corner and took him down with a Suplex! Spike went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out! Spike pulled Claude up only for Claude to nail Spike in the gut with elbow after elbow! Claude then nailed Spike in the face with a right hand of his own before Irish whipping Spike against the ropes. On the bounceback, Claude went for the Bicycle Kick but missed. Claude turned around to face Spike as he bounced back off the ropes. However, Spike knocked Claude down with a Big Boot! Spike went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out! 

Spike then back up against a corner and slammed his foot down on the mat three times (a la Shawn Michaels), taunting for Claude to stand up. Claude staggered up to his feet and Spike ran out of the corner, going for Real Folk Blues. . .

. . .but Claude caught Spike’s leg and spun behind him before taking him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out! 

“How close was that?” asked Early, as Claude pulled Spike up to his feet and Irish whipped him against the ropes. Claude went for the Bicycle Kick again but Spike ducked under it, and ran against the ropes behind Claude. On the bounceback, Claude turned around and took Spike down with a huge spear! Claude rolled off Spike and taunted for him to stand up. Spike rose up to his feet, clenching his abdomen in pain. Claude then ran towards Spike. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY CONNECTED WITH THE BICYCLE KICK!!! Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. .. 3!!!

Claude stood up and raised his arms up in celebration as the bell rang! 

“Here is your winner. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“Well. . .regaining his ground in XCW in this case was easier done than said!” Shake said. “What a showing by Claude tonight! If I were Bugs or Arthur, I’d be sweating right now!”

The referee gave Claude the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship belt and raised his arm in victory. Claude then stood on a top turnbuckle and raised the belt above his head toward the fans.

“Claude is back, and better than ever! At Endgame, will he become a dual champion?” asked Early, before the show went to the backstage area.

In a training room, Sora sat up on her medical bed fuming with anger until Tai walked in and came to her side.

“How are you feeling?” asked Tai.

“How do you think I feel?” Sora yelled, facing her husband. “Peach cheated, the bitch! She was a sore winner at Whiplash, and tonight she couldn’t win fairly!”

Sora slid off the medical bed and came to a standing position. “For her sake, I hope I’m 100% for Endgame, because I’ll show her how to act like a real cham---OW!!!”

Sora suddenly clenched her abdomen in pain and struggled to climb back onto the bed. Tai gently picked her up and sat her back on the bed. Sora let out an exasperated sigh. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Tai assured. “I’m angry too. . .for this happening to you.” Tai came face-to-face with Sora and rested a hand on her thigh.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to stop Arbuckle and Odie. . .I shouldn’t have went home that weekend. . .left you here alone. . .but I promise after tonight, and Endgame. . .no one will ever hurt you again---“

Sora pressed a hand against the back of Tai’s head and pushed it toward hers. Their lips met in a passionate, fiery kiss. Once they let go, Sora looked into Tai’s eyes and said with a smile. . .

“Rip him a new one for me. I know you can!”

Tai gave Sora a lopsided grin and nodded in compliance as the show went to a commercial break.

After the show came back from a commercial break, the South Park Four were sitting on a couch, with Cartman and Kyle playing WWE 12 in their locker room. Cartman played as a CAW of himself while Kyle played as a CAW of himself.

“Hey guys, you think this is too meta for its own good?” asked Cartman.

“Mmmph mpph mpph mmphh mph mmppph mpph.” responded Kenny under his coat.

“Yeah, just like The Hangover!” Kyle said, until Cartman’s character in the game hit his finisher, and won the match!

“YES! YES! YES!” Cartman screamed as he pointed at Kyle mockingly. “Na-na-na-na-na-na! I’m Stan’s partner for Endgame and you are NOOOOT!”

“Shut up, lardo! I’m still the better wrestler!” Kyle said, as Stan entered the locker room.

“Oh yeah? Are you the WWT National Champion?” asked Cartman as he shoved the National Championship title belt into Kyle’s face. Stan, however, knocked the belt out of Cartman’s hand and got into his face.

“Yes, Cartman, you are my tag team partner at Endgame. But I just learned that next week, you, Kyle and I are in a six-man tag team match against the Looney Tunes!”

“Holy sh*t, dude, that kicks ass!” Kyle said.

“Yes, we’re facing three icons of our medium next week, so let’s save our gloating for when we beat D-Ed! That goes for you, too, Fatboy!”

“You don’t have to worry about me.” Cartman assured. As the Enforcer of the group, I let my fighting do the talking!”

“Then it’s settled!” Stan said in excitement. “Now will you guys change the channel? The main event’s about to start!”

“Oh, all right.” Cartman said, grabbing the remote with his chubby hand and pushing a button on it.

Back in the ring, Plankton stood in the center of it with a microphone in hand.

“The following handicap match is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event for the evening!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played as Tai walked onto the stage with a scowl on his face, focusing only on the ring.

“Introducing first. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, ready for our main event, and tonight, Shake, Tai looks like he’s all business tonight!” said Early, as Tai stood in the center of the ring, looking down the ramp in anticipation.

The crowd cheered as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles toward the fans.

“What I don’t get is why Garfield’s on the receiving end of Tai’s anger!” Shake said. “Arbuckle and Odie orchestrated the attack on Sora, keeping Garfield away from the ring!”

Tai stood in the center of the ring looking down the ramp in anticipation.

“It’s by association, Shake!” answered Early. “The World Heavyweight Champion Garfield has been under Arbuckle’s tutelage since day one. So every time the Majesty of March sees Garfield, he sees Arbuckle as well!”

“Wayfarer” by Kavinsky played and an Esperanto car rode down the ramp and around the ringside area.

“And his partner. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

The car came to a stop at the foot of the ramp, with the hood facing the stage. Tommy Vercetti got out of the car and slid into the ring to cheers from the crowd.

“Earlier tonight, Tommy Vercetti became a six-time XCW Hardcore Champion by ambushing a defenseless and injured Odie!” Shake said. “But the deal breaker was when from out of nowhere, Tommy’s buddy, Claude Speed, returned to XCW and knocked Odie out cold!”

“With that kick and his address here tonight, Claude Speed sent a message to all of XCW: that he will kick more asses and raise more hell as he embarks on a quest to become XCW World Heavyweight Champion!” Early said. “But tonight, his partner-in-crime, Tommy Vercetti, looks to take a rather large thorn out of his side!”

“Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played as Garfield and Jon Arbuckle walked down the ramp to boos from the crowd. Jon coached Garfield, whose focus remained only on the ring.

“And their opponent---“

Jon Arbuckle suddenly put a microphone he was carrying up to his mouth.

“Stop! Shut up! Cut the music, cut everything!” Jon yelled, as Tommy and Tai stared him and Garfield down with looks of contempt.

“All of you people know who I am, as well as the opponent of these two men here tonight. He is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion. . .GARFIELD!!!”

The crowd booed even louder as Garfield stepped over all three ropes and entered the ring, raising the World Heavyweight title belt high above his head.

“But what you idiots don’t know is that I have made a couple new plans for tonight. . .and for Endgame!” Starting with YOU, Mr. Vercetti.”

“Earlier tonight, you won the XCW Hardcore Championship from Odie via the 24/7 rule. HOWEVER. . .allow me to inform you that at the time you won the title, Odie was undergoing medical evaluations, and his status for tonight was uncertain. For that reason, I have decided to declare the XCW Hardcore Championship vacant, hereby STRIPPING YOU of the XCW Hardcore Championship!”

The crowd erupted into boos as Jon ripped the Hardcore title belt off Tommy’s shoulder, putting Tommy into a fit of rage!!!

“Justice is served!” Shake exclaimed.

“WHAT? I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!” screamed Early in disbelief as Jon draped the Hardcore title belt over his shoulder, and continued to speak. “And at Endgame, the Hardcore Championship will be decided in a fatal four-way match, of which its participants will be announced next week on Massacre!”

A wide grin grew on the face of Arbuckle as he sneered at Tommy, who was still hopping mad. “But don’t worry, Tommy! You’ve got the biggest match of your life on deck, because in 13 days at Endgame, you’re competing one-on-one against a man who is a legend in his own right. . .a man who needs no introduction. . .and he won’t get an introduction because he isn’t here tonight!”

Brow lowered and eyes narrowed, Tommy yelled ‘WHO IS IT??” WHO IS IT??” at Arbuckle, but he only looked at him with the same evil stare.

“You’ll just have to wait. . .for Endgame.” The crowd booed as Jon’s attention turned to Tai.

“And that brings me to you, Mr. Kamiya.”

Tai and Garfield stared each other down with more malice than before.

“You’ll be delighted to know that I have taken your World Heavyweight Championship match against Garfield at Endgame. . .and turned it into a NO-DISQUALIFICATION MATCH!”

The crowd gasped in shock, but Tai stood perfectly still, seething with anger.

“DEAR GOD!” Early screamed. “Is Jon trying to get Tai killed????”

“You saw Tai take out Garfield last week, Early!” Shake said. “And the way these two are looking at each other now, they BOTH look like they want to kill each other at Endgame!”

“They might kill each other tonight, for all we know!” Early said, as Jon put the microphone up to his mouth again.

“Best of luck to you both tonight, and at Endgame!” said Jon, as he turned around to leave the ring. However, Tommy Vercetti strode up to Jon, turned him around and took him down with a massive clothesline!

“He can’t do that! He’s the interim commissioner!” Shake said as Tommy loomed over Jon and hammered away at Jon’s face with vicious right and left hands! Meanwhile, Tai surprised Garfield with a dropkick to the knees, then he and Garfield began to trade right hands!

“He may be the interim commissioner, but he’s getting what he deserves!” Early replied as Tai leapt onto the turnbuckle behind Garfield and took him down with a Flying Forearm right to his face! “HEY, TAI!” Tommy yelled, pulling Jon up by his neck. Tai turned to look at him, his eyes wide from intensity.

“HE’S ALL YOURS!” Tommy said, as he pushed Jon toward Tai! Tai caught Jon and took him down, locking him in the Crossface!!!

“AND NOW TAI’S GOT HIM IN THE CROSSFACE!! THIS IS FOR SORA, DAMMIT!!!” yelled Early, as Jon tapped out, but Tai only intensified the hold! Meanwhile, Garfield stood up to his feet and lumbered toward Tai. . .only for Tommy to clock him in the face with a set of brass knuckles, sending the World Champion reeling against the ropes behind him! 

“It’s complete and utter chaos in the ring right now!” said Shake.

As Garfield bounced off the ropes, Tommy lifted him up for a Standing Spinebuster. . .only for Garfield’s weight to collapse on top of him!!! Garfield shook himself back into reality as he got up to one knee. Meanwhile, Tai finally let go of Jon, and kicked his limp body out of the ring under the bottom rope. Tai then charged toward Garfield and went for a dropkick to his chest. Garfield, however, took Tai down with a massive headbutt! 

“What was supposed to be a match has turned into anarchy!” cried Early as Garfield glanced at Tommy’s car at the foot of the ramp. “And now Garfield has evil intentions on his mind!”

Garfield then looked down at Tommy, who had stood back up, selling his chest. Garfield picked Tommy up. . .

. . .raised him high above his head. . .threw him out of the ring. . .

. . .AND ONTO THE BACK OF HIS CAR!!! Tommy’s body bounced off the car then landed like a rag doll onto the ringside floor! 

“BY GOD! BY GOD! THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION MAY HAVE BROKEN TOMMY SMACK DAB IN HALF!!!” yelled Early, as Tommy screamed in agonizing pain, clenching his chest and abdomen! Back in the ring, Garfield looked down at Tai, and brought him up to his feet. Garfield raised him high above his head for a military press. . .faced Tommy’s car. . .

. . .but Tai dropped back down to the mat behind him! He pushed Garfield toward the ropes in front of him, and on the bounceback, swept the legs out from under Garfield, and locked him in the Crossface!!! 

“The monster Garfield may be back, but Tai’s not gonna go down without a fight!!!” called Early. “Will we have a new World Heavyweight Champion in 13 days at Endgame?”

Tai only tightened the Crossface hold more and more! Screaming in agonizing pain, Garfield never tapped out as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Results

Stan Marsh defeated Rolf  
Arthur defeated Daffy Duck  
Peach defeated Nazz (won XCW Women’s Championship)  
Tommy Vercetti defeated Odie (won XCW Hardcore Championship)  
Claude Speed defeated Spike Spiegel  
Jon Arbuckle vacates XCW Hardcore Championship  
Tai Kamiya and Tommy Vercetti vs. Garfield went to a No Contest

Tentative Card for XCW Endgame:

Tai Kamiya vs. Garfield (c) in a No Disqualification Match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship  
Tommy Vercetti vs. ???  
Claude Speed vs. Bugs Bunny (c) vs. Arthur in a Triple Threat match for the XCW Television Championship  
Sora Takenouchi vs. Peach (c) for the XCW Women’s Championship  
Ed & Edd (D-Generation Ed) (c) vs. Stan Marsh & Eric Cartman for the XCW Tag Team Championship  
Fatal 4-Way Hardcore Match for the XCW Hardcore Championship (participants TBA)

I’ll admit, I thought the ending to this episode could’ve been better, and bringing in Odie did screw up where I was going in a way. I really want to save the best ending I have for the next one, though, since it’s the last one before Endgame. But at any rate, please let me know if there’s anything I can improve on, or if there are any character inconsistencies. The next episode will come soon, in the meantime, RATE/REVIEW!!!


	20. XCW Massacre: April Week 4 Part 1

At any rate, following a series of FORTUNATE life events (which I’ll get to later), the 1000th episode of Monday Night Raw, and the amazing epicness of The Dark Knight Rises, comes part one of the go-home edition of XCW Monday Night Massacre! This episode takes place BEFORE the AWF Christmas Supershow, just letting you all know. I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“We are just six days away from Endgame! What will happen tonight here in Amity Park, as tempers continue to flare between challengers and champions? Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight, Shake, I have a feeling that tonight, everything is gonna hit the fan with Endgame only less than a week away!”

“So do I, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “Tonight, just six days away from his match against a mystery opponent, Tommy Vercetti looks to weaken the PBS Kid Arthur, before his Triple Threat match against his friend Claude Speed at Endgame!”

“And will things explode even more between Tai Kamiya and the World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield here tonight?” Early asked. “We’ll find out as the night progresses!”

Suddenly, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome, the interim commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .JON ARBUCKLE!!!”

The crowd erupted into boos as Jon Arbuckle walked onto the stage with the XCW Hardcore Championship draped over his shoulder.

“But we start off with a couple announcements from our interim commissioner!” Early said. “However, Shake, I don’t know if he can make any announcement bigger than the ones he made last week!”

Jon Arbuckle walked down the ramp and entered the ring with a microphone in hand. He scanned the crowd as they continued to boo.

“I don’t either, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “He stripped Tommy Vercetti of the XCW Hardcore Championship, made a fatal four way match for it at Endgame, and put Tommy Vercetti in a one-on-one match against a mystery opponent. But the biggest change he made to Endgame was turning the XCW World Heavyweight Championship match between Garfield and Tai into a No-Disqualification match! I can only imagine what he has to say here tonight!”

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .” Jon said, but was immediately cut off by boos from the crowd. “My name is Jonathan Q. Arbuckle. And as the interim commissioner of XCW, I have a couple major announcements to make.”

Jon lowered the microphone and looked at the fans who chanted “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Jon stared at them with a look of disdain as he began to speak again.

“You people may boo me now, but you’re gonna love this first announcement. Right before Endgame, I received an offer from Nazirul Takashi of AWF, and there was no way I could refuse it, because it came with enough Italian food to feed your World Heavyweight Champion breakfast this morning. But very soon, the Toon WWE Hardcore Champion, Claude Speed. . .”

The crowd erupted into cheers upon Claude’s mention.

“. . .will be defending the Toon Hardcore Championship under the 24/7 rule on a neutral field. . .the field of AWF! Because he and your favorite XCW wrestlers will be appearing on the AWF Christmas Supershow!”

The crowd erupted into a chant of “X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!”

“We would’ve allowed XCW’s Hardcore Championship to be defended under the famous rule, but due to the events of last week, the belt does not have a champion. However, a new champion will be decided in what will now be a Seven-Way match at Endgame! But tonight, there will be a tag team match involving four of the seven participants of that match! And this tag match will start. . .RIGHT NOW! Thank you very much!”

Jon Arbuckle left the ring as Plankton entered it from the other side.

“Well, right now we’re about to find out who will be involved in the Hardcore Championship seven-way match, but Shake, the bigger news is that XCW will be taking part in AWF’s Christmas Supershow!”

“XCW was victorious in CWF’s Supershow. . .what’s gonna happen in this one?” Shake wondered. “I can’t wait!”

Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand as Arbuckle made his way back to the backstage area.

“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!”

Plankton paused as. . .

“Tank!" by The Seatbelts played! Spike Spiegel strode down the ramp with a lit cigarette in his mouth to a mixed reaction. 

“Introducing first. . .from Planet Mars. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

“Spike Spiegel was a former Hardcore Champion and had a memorable Championship match against Claude Speed at XCW’s first-ever pay-per-view!” Early said, as Spike flicked the cigarette butt toward the barricade and walked up the steel steps, entering the ring.

“As a former Hardcore Champion, Spike has an advantage in the seven-way match already.” Shake said. “Who else will be in the match with him?”

All the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly. . .an ambulance siren went off, as the crowd erupted into cheers! “YOU EEEEEEEDIOT!!” came from the titantron, followed by Scott Steiner’s TNA theme, which played throughout the arena, with pyro going off on the stage! Stimpy walked on the stage and down the ramp with Ren right behind him!

“And his partner. . .being accompanied to the ring by Ren. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .STIMPY!!!”

“Ren and Stimpy have come to be masters of using tables as weapons!” Early said, “This makes Stimpy a for-sure favorite in this seven-way match!”

Stimpy entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, with Kenny McCormick looking on from a corner.

“These two are looking to test the waters in singles competition here in XCW!” Shake said. “And there’s no opportunity better than our Hardcore division!”

"Amerika" by Rammstein played as Solid Snake stepped down the ramp towards the ring.

“And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .from The United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

The crowd gave a mixed reaction to Snake, who glared around at the audience members before finally staring Spike and Stimpy down.

“Between the three competitors so far, Snake and Spike have the most experience in the Hardcore division!” Early said.

“Snake is a two-time Hardcore Champion, Spike only winning the title on one occasion.” informed Shake. “With just those two in this match, the arena could turn into a war zone on Sunday!”

“And his partner. . .” Plankton announced right before. . .

“John The Fisherman” by Primus played! Odie ran onto the stage to massive boos from the crowd!

“From Muncie, Indiana. . .ODIE!!!”

“Are you kidding me??” Early cried. “Arbuckle’s henchman is in the Hardcore title match at Endgame???”

“I’m shocked, too, Early!” Shake said. “I’m surprised he recovered from his concussions so quickly!”

“I am too, Shake, and I’m being informed right now that the other three men in the seven-way Hardcore title match at Endgame are Kevin, Kenny McCormick, and Rolf from D-Ed!” Early informed. “And they’ll be facing off against each other in an intergender six-person tag team match later tonight, which will feature Rolf teaming up with Ed and Nazz against Kenny, Kevin and the new Women’s Champion, Peach!”

“That’ll be an interesting match-up, for sure!” Shake said. “But we’ve got a good one about to start right here, right now!”

The bell rang and the match began with Spike facing off against Odie. Spike ran toward Odie and took him down hard with a High Knee! Spike then picked Odie up and nailed him in the face repeatedly with right hand after right hand! Spike then Irish whipped Odie against the ropes, and on the bounceback, Spike nailed him in the gut with a huge kick! Odie then crawled toward the ropes and tagged in Snake. Snake then entered the ring and he and Spike got into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Snake put Spike into a headlock and took him down with a snapmare, then nailed him with a kick to the back. Spike stood up to his feet, selling his back as he turned around to face Snake again. Snake however, Irish whipped Spike toward the ropes, and took him down with a huge elbow to the face on the bounceback! Snake went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spike kicked out! 

Snake brought Spike back up to a standing position, only for Spike to fight back with a right hand to Snake’s face. Spike hit Snake in the face with right hand after right hand until he came up against the ropes behind him. Spike then tagged in Stimpy, who leapt onto the turnbuckle and in front of him and took Snake down with a Flying Crossbody! Stimpy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out! Stimpy picked Snake up to his feet only for Snake to knee Stimpy in the gut and take him down with a Gutbuster! Snake then ran against the ropes behind him and nailed Stimpy with a falling knee to the face! Snake went for the cover again 1. . . 2. . .Stimpy kicked out! Snake then pulled Stimpy up and went for the Sleeper Hold but Stimpy countered it into a side headlock takedown! Stimpy then ran against the ropes behind him and went for the Stimpy Splash but Snake rolled out of the way, sending Stimpy to land face-first onto the mat! Snake then ran toward Stimpy and took him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Snake went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicked out!

“Snake taking it to the former tag team champion!” Early said.

Snake then picked Stimpy back up to his feet and put him in a front face lock. Snake then lifted him up. . .

. . .and took him down with a Texas Piledriver! Snake went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy kicked out! Snake couldn’t believe it!

Snake then lifted Stimpy back up to his feet and locked in the sleeper hold! Stimpy gasped and fought for air but to no avail. Snake brought Stimpy down to one knee, clenching the hold tighter and tighter as the referee asked Stimpy if he wanted to quit. Stimpy shook his head no and reached for the ropes in front of him. . .only to grow fainter and fainter. . .the referee raised Stimpy’s hand once before dropping it. . . .and letting it fall to his sides limply. The referee picked it up and dropped it once more. . .

. . .only for Stimpy to immediately raise it back up and pull himself back up to a standing position with Snake still latching onto the hold! Stimpy elbowed Snake multiple times in the chest before nailing him with an elbow to the temple to finally break the hold! Stimpy kicked Snake in the midsection and took Snake down with a thunderous DDT! Both men were down in the center of the ring and crawling to their corners to make a tag!

“Both men are down! Who’s gonna make the tag first? Stimpy to Spike, or Snake to Odie?” asked Shake, while Snake looked at Odie back in the ring with a look of anger on his face.

“Snake looks like he doesn’t want to tag in Odie, as it’s a guaranteed loss!” Early said. “What will happen?”

Spike slammed his foot down repeatedly on the mat while Odie reached out for a tag. Stimpy extended his hand out. . .and made the tag to Spike! Snake pulled himself up with the ropes once making it to his corner. . .

. . .but Odie made a blind tag in! 

“BUT ODIE MAKES THE TAG ANYWAY, MUCH TO SNAKE’S DISSATISFACTION!” screamed Early, as Odie leapt onto the turnbuckle and jumped off the top rope for a crossbody. . .

. . .ONLY FOR SPIKE TO CLOCK HIM IN THE FACE WITH REAL FOLK BLUES! Spike went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Snake rolled out of the ring while Spike stood up and raised an arm above his head in celebration as the bell rang! 

“Here are your winners. . .the team of STIMPY AND SPIKE SPIEGEL!”

Before the referee could raise Spike’s arm in victory, Snake slid back into the ring. . .

. . .and nailed Spike in the face with a kendo stick! Snake turned around and hit Odie across the back with the kendo stick repeatedly while Stimpy had come to stand right behind him, waiting for him to turn around! Snake eventually turned around, and Stimpy went for the Log Cutter. . .

. . .but Snake shoved Stimpy toward the ropes, and nailed him in the face with the kendo stick! Snake held the kendo stick high above his head with a look of contempt on his face as the crowd hit him with a chorus of boos.

“Spike and Stimpy got the win tonight, but in the end, Solid Snake is the last man standing!” Early said.

“Even in a straight-up tag match, things got ugly!” Shake said, as Snake left the ring with bodies strewn around the mat. “What will happen when seven men fight for the Hardcore title in a match where no holds are barred, and falls count anywhere?” Spike pulled himself up with the ropes and stared Snake down as the show went to the backstage area.

In a training room, Tommy Vercetti sat on a medical bed with a doctor in front of him, and Sora Takenouchi laying on a separate bed next to him.

“You’re good to go for tonight, Tommy.” said the doctor before leaving the room. Tommy nodded in satisfaction, but clenched his abdomen.

“How did you feel after your ribs were bruised?” Tommy asked, turning to Sora.

“Like I was thrown onto a car.” Sora responded with a smile. Tommy narrowed his eyes.

“Oh, ha ha. Very funny.”

Tommy stepped off the bed and turned to Sora. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a match to prepare for.” Tommy turned around and left the room, as Carl Brutanandilewski walked into the room and up to Sora with a microphone in hand.

“Excuse me, Sora Takenouchi, if I may ask, are you and Tai going to AWF’s Christmas Supershow and if so, will you be competing?”

“You know it!” Sora answered assuredly. “As far as competition goes, if I’m medically cleared in time, I will be fighting. If not, at least Tai and I get to see old friends.”

“And that brings me to my next question.” Carl said. “Christmas is an important time in everyone’s lives, but you and Tai have a history around the festive holiday, one that includes a time where you turned him down, and broke his heart. Do you have anything to say about that?” Sora’s smile fell into a stoic look.

“Yes, I do.” Sora answered, before smiling again. “That was then, and this is now, and right now, he and I are together, and we are focused and ready for this Sunday. Peach and I have a history going back to this company’s beginnings. She was and still is a disgrace to the Women’s Championship, and this Sunday, healthy or not, I will show Peach what makes a real champion. And after Endgame, Tai and I will go on become the most dominant champions of our respective divisions in this industry today, and show every company out there that being faces doesn’t make us weak or uninteresting. It makes us better!”

Sora looked at Carl with a stern but confident look on her face as the show went to a commercial break.

As the show came back from a commercial break, "What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd posed on the stage! 

“Up next we have an epic six-man tag team match!” Shake said, as Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following six-man tag team match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .Elmer Fudd. . .Daffy Duck. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Television Champion, Bugs Bunny. . .THE LOONEY TUNES!!!”

“Epic is the right word to describe it, Shake!” Early said as Bugs, Daffy and Elmer walked down the ramp, with Bugs leading the way. “Both teams in this match tonight have a multitude of tag team championships between them!”

Bugs, Daffy and Elmer entered the ring and each posed on a turnbuckle.

“And each team in this match has members that are competing in huge title matches this Sunday at Endgame!” Shake said, as the Looney Tunes stepped back onto the mat and. . .

. . .”What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played! Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski stepped onto the stage, saluting the crowd, who gave them a mixed reaction.

“And their opponents. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .the team of KYLE BROFLOVSKI. . .THE ENFORCER, ERIC CARTMAN. . .AND STAN MARSH!!!”

“While Bugs of the Looney Tunes can add an impressive victory as World Television Champion at Endgame, Stan and Cartman of the South Park Four can add another Tag Team Championship to the list of titles they’ve won over the course of their careers in fiction wrestling, this Sunday when they take on D-Generation Ed!” informed Early.

Stan, Kyle and Cartman ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles.

“Both will be huge matches, for sure!” said Shake. “But both Bugs and the South Park Four better not let their respective opponents this Sunday get in their way of winning this match!”

The bell rang and the match began with Kyle Broflovski facing off against Elmer Fudd. Elmer and Kyle charged toward each other and met up into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Elmer spun around to put Kyle in a waist-lock but Kyle countered it by taking Elmer down with a fireman’s carry. Kyle quickly pulled Elmer back up to his feet and socked him in the face with a series of right hands. Kyle then Irish whipped Elmer toward the ropes behind him. . .only for Elmer to counter with an Irish whip of his own! As Kyle bounced back, Elmer took him down with a kick to the gut! Elmer quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kyle kicked out! Elmer pulled Kyle up to his feet only for Kyle to shove him, then tie him up in a front face lock. Kyle went for a piledriver but Elmer fought out of it and took Kyle down with a back body drop! Elmer then ran against the ropes behind him and took him down with a falling elbow! Elmer went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kyle kicked out! Elmer pulled Kyle up and drug him to the Looney Tunes corner, where he tagged in Daffy. Elmer threw Kyle into the corner and he and Daffy stomped a mudhole into Kyle until he fell into a seated position. 

Daffy pulled Kyle up to his feet and Irish whipped him into the opposite corner, where Stan quickly blind tagged himself in once Kyle hit the corner. Daffy took down Kyle with a clothesline in the corner, before Stan came up from behind him and took him down with a reverse DDT! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Stan pulled Daffy back up to a standing position and tied him up in the center of the ring. Stan put Daffy into a side headlock and took him down with a side headlock takedown, then wrenched onto his neck before going for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Stan pulled Daffy up to his feet and lifted him up for a Back Drop, only for Daffy to fall out of it and take Stan down with a German suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!

“This has been a hard fought six-man tag team match so far!” Early said. “Who will gain the upper hand?”

Stan and Daffy rose up to their feet and charged toward each other and got into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Daffy put Stan in a waist-lock only for Stan to counter it into a waist-lock of his own, and this time, successfully take Daffy down with a Back Drop! Stan pulled Daffy up to his feet, lifted him up and took him down with a Scoop Slam, then picked up him again to take him down with a Northern Lights suplex! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! Stan grabbed Daffy’s legs and went to put him in the Sharpshooter. . .

. . .but Daffy kicked Stan off him, sending him toward the ropes behind him. As Stan bounced back, Daffy picked Stan up and took him down with a Powerslam! Both men were down in the center of the ring, crawling toward their corners for a tag!

“Both of these men are down! Who will make the tag first in this match of prestigious tag teams?” wondered Shake, as Daffy and Stan extended their hands. . .

. . .inched closer to their corners. . .

. . .and successfully tagged in Bugs and Cartman!!! They charged toward each other and got into a tie-up in the center of the ring!

“Bugs Bunny is the current XCW World Television Champion; Eric Cartman the WWT National Champion. Which of these current champions will gain the victory for their team?” asked Early, as Bugs lifted Cartman up for a suplex! Cartman, however, dropped out of it and took Bugs down with a suplex of his own! Cartman then pulled Bugs up and Irish whipped him toward the ropes, and took him down with a Shoulder Block on the bounceback! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out! Cartman stepped off Bugs and taunted for him to get up.

“Cartman may be looking for the South Park Stunner here!” Early exclaimed as Bugs rose up to his feet, and Cartman kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .but Bugs shoved Cartman toward the ropes! As Cartman bounced back, however, he took Bugs down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away on his face with quick right and left hands! Cartman ran against the ropes behind him and landed a falling elbow to his sternum! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!

Cartman stood up to his feet and waited for Bugs to stumble up to his feet. Bugs stood up and Cartman went to kick Bugs in the midsection. . .

. . .but Bugs grabbed Cartman’s leg in time to sweep them out from under him! Bugs then positioned himself in front of a corner, and took Cartman out with a slingshot onto the corner! Cartman stumbled around the ring in a daze until Bugs set him up for a powerbomb. . .

. . .lifted him up. . .

. . .and slammed Cartman down to the mat with the Bunny Bomb! However, a familiar face ran down the ramp toward the ring. . .

“WAIT A MINUTE! IT’S ARTHUR!!!” Early screamed, as Arthur slid into the ring and took Bugs down with a clothesline, forcing the referee to call for the bell!

“Damn it! A great match spoiled by the PBS Kid Arthur!” yelled Early, as Arthur took Bugs down with the Final Chapter! Daffy and Elmer charged into the ring toward the PBS Kid but Arthur took Daffy down with a dropkick, and tackled Elmer out of the ring with a clothesline! Arthur turned around and pushed Cartman out of the ring with a tackle and a clothesline! Stan and Kyle collected Cartman at the ringside area and walked backwards up the ramp. 

“This is bullcrap!” yelled Stan as Arthur continued the assault on Bugs with another Final Chapter! After the attack, Arthur received a microphone from the timekeeper while boos erupted from the crowd.

“You two teams have a lot in common.” Arthur said. “You both have been on the air for a long period of time, and are still going strong even today. You both are two of the most decorated tag teams in the history of this business. And you two come from some of the most violent and obscene television shows of all time! That’s why between you two teams, there shouldn’t have been a winner tonight, and neither of you two deserved a victory!”

Arthur paused as the crowd booed and chanted “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Meanwhile, Bugs rolled out of the ring and stared Arthur down angrily.

“So right now, you all are about to see a match that deserves to be seen, a match that will include a victory that deserves to be had! My victory against a man known as ‘The Harwood Butcher’. . .”

The crowd cheered upon mention of Tommy’s nickname.

“Another man known for acts of violence, theft, and criminal acts that didn’t deserve the title he once held! Just like how you, Bugs, don’t deserve yours. And Bugs, after I defeat Tommy Vercetti tonight, at Endgame I will finally put an end to the era of violence in animation that you started by defeating both you, and Tommy’s partner-in-crime, by becoming the new World Television Champion!”

Arthur threw the microphone out of the ring and waited patiently for Tommy as the show went to the backstage area.

Jon Arbuckle sat at his desk in his office on a cellular phone.

“You’re bringing him, too?” Jon asked, as Claude Speed opened the door and barged up to the desk with an angry look on his face and the Toon WWE Hardcore title around his waist. Jon looked up at Claude with an annoyed look before going back to his phone.

“Great! I can’t wait to see you this Sunday!” Jon said before hanging up the phone.

“What do you want?” snapped Jon, who looked up at Claude with a sneer.

“I want to know why you’re putting my Toon Hardcore Championship on the line 24/7 at the AWF Supershow, that’s what I want to know!” Claude yelled back.

“First of all, Mr. Speed, on a business perspective, since our Hardcore title is vacant until Endgame, we don’t have a Hardcore title to put on the line 24/7! I could only persuade GB to allow me to put that rule on the title for one night only, and there’s no better night than at a Supershow, because XCW gets more publicity and recognition that way!

But on a personal perspective, let me be quite honest with you. I didn’t take too kindly how you had the audacity to put yourself into the World Television Championship match at Endgame, OR make your own match! You think that just because you brought the Toon Hardcore title to XCW, that you can not only call the shots, but also guarantee that you will win the World Heavyweight Championship? You have to go through me first!”

“I earned the right to fight for the TV title by winning this!” Claude said, as he raised the Toon Hardcore title belt up to his head. “Do you have any idea how much blood I lost in my match against Deadpool? I have another transfusion scheduled for this Thursday!”

“Things have changed during your absence, Mr. Speed! I run things around here now, and if anyone defies me, they will suffer the consequences----“

Jon’s eyes suddenly widen as if an idea had just came to mind. He looked up at Claude with a wide, mischievous grin.

“---you know what? Forgive me. You HAVE earned the right to fight for the World Television Championship at Endgame. But to keep your spot, I want you to do something for me. And that is dish out those consequences in tonight’s main event. . .which will feature you in a Hardcore match. . .against the number one contender for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .Tai Kamiya! What do you say to that?”

Claude stands up straight and looks up at the ceiling deep in thought.

“Well. . .it IS a tune-up match for Endgame. . .”

“Excellent!” Jon said. “The match is booked for tonight! I wish you the best of luck!”

Claude looked at Jon with a puzzled look on his face.

“Why are you still standing there? Go prepare for your match! I’m busy.”

Claude reluctantly nodded his head and left the room as the show went to a commercial break.

As the show returned from a commercial break, Early and Shake sat at the announcer’s table at ringside.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, I can’t believe the main event that Arbuckle set up for tonight!” Early said.

“I can believe it, Early!” answered Shake. “It’s such a blockbuster match! Who knows what’ll happen between Tai and Claude in a Hardcore match?”

“I’ll tell you what Jon wants to happen: for Claude to beat the living daylights out of his housepet’s opponent at Endgame!” Early said. “Jon’s setting out to destroy Tai physically and emotionally one last time before he faces Garfield for the World Heavyweight Championship this Sunday, and he’s forcing Claude to be the one to do it!”

“Claude made the decision on his own, Early! Besides, he needs to warm up for the World Television Championship Triple Threat match this Sunday against Bugs Bunny and the man in the ring right now: Arthur!”

Arthur stood in the ring looking down the ramp in anticipation as Plankton made the announcement.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .from Elwood City. . .ARTHUR!!!”

“The Looney Tunes had their six-man tag team match won before the commercial break, but this man, Arthur, interfered and laid out the World Television Champion! And nobody here liked it one damn bit!” Early said.

“He was sending a message to the World Television Champion, Early!” Shake said. “And he’ll send an emphatic message to Claude Speed after defeating his partner-in-crime here tonight!”

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as Tommy Vercetti rode down the ramp inside a Blista Compact car to cheers from the crowd.

“And his opponent. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

Tommy drove the car around the ringside area, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp.

“Tommy Vercetti is not a happy man these days, and that’s putting it mildly!” informed Early. “He would regain XCW’s Hardcore Championship from Odie last week, only for interim commissioner Jon Arbuckle to strip it from him, because Odie was never medically cleared to compete. Arbuckle also put the Harwood Butcher in a one-on-one match at Endgame against a mystery opponent!”

“And now he’s in a match against a red-hot PBS kid!” Shake said, as Tommy Vercetti got out of the car and entered the ring above the bottom rope, immediately charging after Arthur and taking him down with a Lou Thesz Press! Tommy hammered away at Arthur’s face with furious right and left hands as the bell rang and the match began!

“But Tommy is red-hot with anger!” Early declared, as Tommy pulled Arthur up by the shirt collar and threw him face-first into a corner. Tommy grabbed Arthur by the back of his head and rammed his face into the top turnbuckle five times, with the crowd counting along! Tommy went to slam Arthur’s face again, but Arthur surprised Tommy with an elbow to the gut, then took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Arthur stood up and repeatedly kicked Tommy in the gut! Tommy winced in agonizing pain as Arthur brought him up to his feet again, and landed a right hand to Tommy’s face, which sent him reeling against the ropes behind him. Arthur then ran toward Tommy and nailed him with a clothesline that sent him toppling over the ropes and down to the ringside area! Arthur then climbed onto the top turnbuckle. . .waited for Tommy to stand up. . .leapt off the top rope for a moonsault. . .

. . .only for Tommy to catch him and take him down with a Standing Spinebuster! Both men were down on the concrete floor as the referee began the ten count! Tommy rose up to his feet first and lifted Arthur up by his collar. Tommy Irish whipped Arthur, and he slammed against the steel steps with a sickening thud! Tommy then pulled Arthur back up to his feet and rammed him head first into the steel post! 

“The Harwood Butcher beginning to regain his footing and take out his frustrations on the PBS Kid!” Early commented, as Tommy pulled Arthur up and threw him against the announcer’s table! The referee’s count reached to five at this point. Tommy Vercetti then backed up toward the corner and charged toward Arthur, successfully landing a high knee to his face! Arthur flew over the announcer’s table and came in between Early and Shake!

“Good grief! Tommy’s relentless!” Shake said, as Tommy put Arthur in a headlock and pulled him toward the ring apron, just as the referee’s count reached nine. Tommy pushed Arthur back into the ring under the bottom rope and slid in after him. Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out! Tommy grabbed Arthur by the shirt and lifted him up to a standing position. . .only to knock him back down with a massive Clothesline! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur somehow kicked out! Tommy pulled Arthur back up. . .only for Arthur to surprise Tommy with an inside cradle pin attempt! The referee made the count. . .as Arthur hung his feet up on the ropes behind him for leverage! 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out, and shot up to look at Arthur with a malicious glare! Arthur ran toward Tommy and hit him with a high knee, then put him in a front face lock. Arthur went for a DDT but Tommy countered it with a punch to the midsection. Tommy then hooked Arthur’s arms and took Arthur down with a Double Arm DDT! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 Arthur kicked out!!! Tommy couldn’t believe it! He nailed Arthur in the back with a kick then landed another kick to his chest, sending him back down to the mat. Tommy raised a fist above his head, inciting the crowd to cheer. 

“Tommy Vercetti on the verge of putting Arthur away!” declared Early, as Tommy taunted for Arthur to stand up. As Arthur latched onto the ropes and struggled to pull himself up, suddenly. . .

. . .pyro went off on the titantron!

“Wait a minute. . .” Early said, as Tommy looked at the stage in confusion. The pyro continued to go off as if it were in unison to a certain song. . .

“What the hell’s going on here?” wondered Early until the pyro subsided. Tommy looked at the titantron in bewilderment. . .

. . .until Arthur came up from behind Tommy and took him down with the Final Chapter!

“NO! ARTHUR SNUCK UP ON THE HARWOOD BUTCHER!”

Arthur went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

“NO! NOT THIS WAY!”

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Arthur stood up and looked at the crowd, smirking and raising his hands above his head as the bell rang.

“Here is your winner. . .ARTHUR!!!”

“DAMN IT! THE PBS KID STOLE ONE YET AGAIN!” screamed Early as Arthur posed triumphantly in the ring while the crowd erupted into a chorus of boos.

“He didn’t steal one, Early!” Shake said. “Tommy got distracted, and Arthur struck at the right place and time! That’s how the best wrestlers win; they take advantage of opportunity! And we’ll see more of that this Sunday at Endgame, when Arthur becomes the new World Television Champion!”

Arthur left the ring and walked up the ramp, laughing triumphantly as he stared down Tommy, who had pulled himself up to a standing position with the ropes. Tommy stared up at the titantron with an angry grimace.

“My only question now, Early, is this: whose pyro was that?” Shake asked.

“I have no idea, Shake!” answered the play-by-play announcer. “But what I do know is that this Sunday at Endgame, whoever Tommy Vercetti’s facing in a one-on-one match will have a tough test ahead of him. Because an angry Harwood Butcher won’t hold anything back!”

The angry stare never left Tommy’s face as Massacre went to a commercial break.

Alrighty, there’s part one. As always, let me know if there's anything at all I can do to improve my promo writing, or anything, really.

However, allow me to let you guys know a fun fact about me: I work in film and video production, and I’ve been getting a lot of work recently in it! But don’t worry, readers, because my tentative plan is to write at least one match a day, and/or update at least once a week. If there comes a period where I don’t update for longer than that, I’m just very busy. But I am committed to XCW and will update when I can! I have way too many angles and matches that I want to write, and I will find the time to write them and publish new chapters. That is a promise!

Part two will come soon, in the meantime, RATE/REVIEW!!!


	21. XCW Massacre: April Week 4 Part 2

And now, here’s part two! I only own my championships.

As Massacre returned from break, Tommy Vercetti stomped down a hallway scowling at everyone that passed him. He came to Jon Arbuckle’s office door, which was shut. Tommy knocked on the door repeatedly and loudly. 

“ARBUCKLE! OPEN THE DOOR, YOU SON OF A BITCH!” yelled Tommy, as he continued to bang on the door. Suddenly the door opened. . .

. . .only for Garfield to step out with the World Heavyweight Championship belt draped over his shoulder! Tommy looked up at the World Champion with the same angry scowl.

“Well, if it isn’t Arbuckle’s housepet turned World Champion.” Tommy said. “Is your spineless owner in there? I need a word with him.”

Garfield shut the door and looked at Tommy with a menacing stare.

“Oh yeah? What do you want from him?” Garfield asked.

“I want answers!” Tommy answered. “I want to know whose pyro it was that distracted me, I want to know why he cost me my match, and most importantly, I want to know who the hell my mystery opponent is at Endgame!”

Garfield stepped right in front of Tommy, and glared at him square in the face.

“On Jon’s behalf, I’m telling you that you’ll know who your opponent is when he walks onto the stage at Endgame.” Garfield said in a low, menacing tone. “I know everything about him in more ways than one, and you better be ready for this Sunday, because that match is now a Number One Contenders match for what will still be my World Heavyweight Championship.”

Garfield raised the World title belt up to his head. 

“But even if you win that match, Tommy, you’ll have an even bigger challenge waiting for you. Because I showed you last week that I am the most dominant force in this industry today. . .and after I bludgeon Tai at Endgame, I will continue to keep the strangehold I have on my title and this industry for the rest of our careers.”

Garfield stomped away from Tommy, only to stop and turn around.

“But I will give you one big clue about the man you’ll be facing, Tommy.” Garfield said. “He has many abilities that make him. . . a super man.”

Garfield turned back around and walked down the hallway while Tommy looked down at the floor deep in thought until the show went back to the ring, where Plankton stood with a microphone in hand.

“The following six-person intergender tag team match is scheduled for one fall!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” asked Early.

“I sure am, Early!” answered Shake. “Tommy’s opponent at Endgame might be---“

Suddenly, the following phrase came from the titantron as all the lights went off in the arena.

"ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Ed, Rolf, and Nazz jumped onto the stage from below it, Ed with his tag title belt in hand. Raising the title belt above his head toward the fans, Ed strode down the ramp with Rolf and Nazz at his sides.

"Introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .the team of Nazz, Rolf, and one half of the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions, Ed. . .D-GENERATION ED!!!"

Ed and Rolf slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, with Ed raising his title belt above his head toward the fans.

“This Sunday at Endgame, Ed and Edd look to retain their Tag Team Championships against their long time rivals, Stan and Cartman of the South Park Four!” said Early. “But tonight, it’s Ed and Rolf of D-Ed who will be teaming up along with their valet, Nazz!” 

They met in the center of the ring, with Nazz right in front of them, and did the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

“And tonight, D-Ed has a bone to pick with each of their three opponents in this intergender tag team match!” Shake said, as. . .

"The Light That Blinds" by Shadows Fall played as Kevin stepped onto the entranceway and strode down the ramp to boos from the crowd.

“And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .KEVIN!!!”

“I received word earlier tonight that Kevin, along with his D-Ed rival, Rolf, will both be in the seven-way Hardcore Championship match this Sunday at Endgame!” informed Early. “Kevin is looking to carve a niche here in XCW, and there’s no better opportunity than in a Hardcore Championship matchup!”

“Rolf and Kevin may be tag team champions in PCUW, but here in XCW they are bitter rivals! Will it be one of them who walks out of Endgame as the new Hardcore Champion?” Shake asked, as. . .

“What Would Brian Boitano?” by DVDA played! Kenny McCormick ran onto the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“And his partner. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .KENNY MCCORMICK!!!”

“However, this man is in the seven-man, one fall to a finish Hardcore Championship match as well! And being a former CWF Hardcore Champion, he poses a legitimate threat to win the match!” said Early, as Kenny entered the ring and climbed onto a turnbuckle, saluting the fans as D-Ed looked on.

“Kenny’s high-flying ability matches that of Rolf from D-Ed! We could get a preview of the acrobatic stunts they’ll perform on each other really soon!” Shake said, as Kenny stepped off the turnbuckle.

"Brackish" by Kittie played as Peach strutted down the ramp to a chorus of boos. As she walked, she motioned her hands over the Women's title belt around her waist and taunted the crowd.

“And their partner. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .she is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Champion. . .PEACH!!!”

“Peach regained the Women’s Championship last week in very controversial fashion, and Nazz doesn’t like it one damn bit! I bet she’d love to see Sora give Peach the fight that she deserves this Sunday!” Early said.

Peach blew a kiss to the referee as she took off the Women's title belt. She then climbed to the top of a turnbuckle and blew another kiss toward the commentator's booth, with Nazz scowling at her by her corner.

“And Nazz isn’t getting a rematch until sometime after Endgame!” Shake said. “Like she would win one anyway! The greatest champions find a way to win, and that’s exactly what Peach did last week!”

Peach stepped back onto the mat and was immediately taken down by a Lou Thesz Press from Nazz, as the bell rang and the match began! Nazz hammered away at Peach’s face with furious right hands, as the referee tried to separate the two of them. Nazz, however, gave the referee a menacing glare, which caused him to back off. Peach, however, would quickly go for a roll-up pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Nazz emphatically kicked out, and charged toward Peach for a Spear. . .only for Peach to pull down the middle rope, sending Nazz through the ropes and down to the ringside area! Peach then climbed onto the top rope. . .and went for the Peach Press. . .

. . .only for Nazz to roll out of the way, causing the Women’s Champion to land hard on the concrete floor! Nazz and Peach were down at ringside as the referee began the ten count! Nazz became the first to sit up before staggering back up to her feet, with Peach pushing herself up behind her. Nazz slid into the ring first, while Peach climbed onto the ring apron. . .only for Nazz to run against the ropes behind her, and take Peach back down to the ringside floor with a baseball slide! Nazz then tagged in Rolf, forcing Kevin to enter the ring from his corner and face off against his fellow PCUW Tag Team Champion! Meanwhile, on the outside of the ring, Peach favored her thigh.

“While the women’s champion tries to regroup on the outside, inside the ring comes a very intriguing matchup!” Early said, as Rolf and Kevin got into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Rolf put Kevin into a headlock and went for a bulldog but Kevin pushed Rolf toward the ropes. . .only for Rolf to leap onto them and jump back toward Kevin, taking him down with a hurricanrana pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Kevin kicked out! Kevin and Rolf stood back up and Kevin nailed Rolf in the face with a boxer jab! Kevin continued to hit Rolf in the face with punch after punch until he was backed up against a corner. Kevin then hit Rolf with multiple shoulder thrusts until Rolf fell into a seated position. Kevin then backed up against the opposite corner and ran toward Rolf for a punt to the head. . .only for Rolf to dive out of the corner and take Kevin down with a drop toe hold, sending Kevin to hit the bottom corner face and head first! Kevin struggled to get up to his feet only for Rolf to take Kevin back down with a Monkey Flip! Rolf went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kevin kicked out!

Rolf pulled Kevin up to his feet by the collar and slapped him in the chest with a series of chops! Kevin winced in pain as he grabbed onto the top rope behind him. Rolf went for a Tornado DDT, only for Kevin to shove him off once more! Rolf, however landed on his feet and charged toward Kevin again. . .only for Kevin to take Rolf down with a swinging neckbreaker! Kevin went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out! Kevin rolled off Rolf and crawled toward Kenny for a tag, while Rolf crawled towards Ed!

“Both men are down and looking to make a tag!” Early exclaimed. “And it looks like we’ll get the D-Ed leader against South Park’s Extremist!”

Rolf and Kevin each inched closer to their corners. . .

. . .extended their hands out. . .

. . .and successfully made the tags to Kenny and Ed! Ed and Kenny charged toward each other, with Ed taking Kenny down first with a Clothesline! Kenny shot back up to his feet only for Ed to take him back down with a belly-to-belly suplex! Kenny went for a clothesline. . .only for Ed to duck and kick Kenny in the midsection, then slam him down to the mat with a pumphandle slam! Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out! Ed pulled Kenny up to his feet and Irish whipped him toward the ropes. However, on the bounceback, Kenny slid under Ed from between his legs, and bounced off the ropes on the other side of the ring. Kenny then took Ed down with a dropkick to the back, leaving Ed’s head and arms hanging on the middle rope! Kenny then ran toward the ropes, and nailed Ed with the 303!!! Ed stumbled around the ring in a daze as Kenny leapt onto the top rope. Kenny then dove off the rope for a hurricanrana. . .

. . .only for Ed to catch him, sit him on his shoulders, and take him down with the Eledrifier!!! Ed went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Ed stood up and raised his arms above his head in celebration as the bell rang.

“Here are your winners. . .D-GENERATION ED!!!”

The referee raised Ed’s arm above his head in victory as Kenny pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes. Suddenly, Ed’s attention went back to Kenny. Ed picked Kenny back up, put him on his shoulders, and took him down with another Eledrifier!!!

“Good grief! This is heinous!” Shake said.

“Kenny’s the victim of an emphatic message to Stan and Eric from Ed!” Early said. “And that message is: ‘We are ready for this Sunday!’”

Ed raised his tag title belt up high as Rolf entered the ring, charged toward Kenny. . .

. . .AND TOOK KENNY DOWN WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!!! Rolf kicked Kenny’s prone body under the bottom rope, and out of the ring, and turned back to face Ed. . .

. . .only to be met with a Bull Tackle from Kevin!!! Kevin looked down at Rolf with a wide grin on his face. . .until Ed took Kevin down with an Eledrifier!!!

“Ed is like a wild animal tonight!” Early said. “Will this be the scene at Endgame? Will Ed still be one half of the tag team champions???”

“And will D-Ed lay claim to the Hardcore Championship as well?” Shake wondered, as Rolf staggered up to his feet, selling his midsection. 

Ed, Rolf and Nazz climbed onto opposing turnbuckles and saluted the fans as the show went to a commercial break.

As Massacre returned from break, Sora Takenouchi, with her abdomen taped heavily, strode down the ramp and came to a water fountain with an empty bottle in hand. As she filled the bottle up with water, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Peach walk up to her with a slight limp. 

Sora turned to face the Women’s Champion. “Didn’t want to face the fury of the woman you scorned, huh, ‘champ’?”

“Shut your trap, Sora!” Peach snapped. “I need to be at full strength for---”

“---for your upcoming loss?” asked Sora, who was now looking at Peach square in the face. “Peach, I’ve been thinking about our first match at Whiplash all those months ago, and your cheap shot after it still resonates with me, and not in a good way. And the way you won the title last week was the tip of the iceberg. Regardless of whether both of us are at full strength or not, this Sunday, you’re gonna get the beating you deserve!”

Peach narrowed her eyes and took a step back, still facing Sora.

“Oh, no, Sora.” retorted Peach. “Arbuckle and Odie’s attack on you was just the beginning. You’re gonna get the beating you deserve this Sunday, when I take your already battered body, and bend it until it breaks! And if your husband somehow survives the Hardcore match up next, Garfield will give him the beating he’s got coming to him. You believe it’s destiny for you two to be champions together? I say if anything, you two are destined to stay in the same hospital room!”

Peach strode forward, passing Sora, throwing the Women’s title belt over her shoulder. Sora looked on from the water fountain scowling at the Princess as the show went back to the ring, where Plankton stood with a microphone in hand as. . .

. . .pyro exploded on the stage and “No Mercy” by Pharoah Monche played! Claude Speed walked down the ramp with a stern look on his face, a barbed wire 2x4 in hand, and the Toon Hardcore title belt around his waist.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Early, we’re just minutes away from a dream match!” said Shake, as Claude entered the ring above the second rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, raising the Toon Hardcore title belt above his head toward the fans.

“A dream match for most fans, yes.” Early said. “But a nightmare scenario for Claude’s opponent here tonight, the 2012 Majesty of March, and the number one contender for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played as Tai walked onto the stage with a scowl on his face, focusing only on the ring.

“We’ve seen a different side of Tai Kamiya for this past month.” Early said. “Since Arbuckle and company attacked his wife, the former Extreme Team leader has went back to his extremist roots, and has been focusing on nothing but putting Garfield through the same pain Sora went through just two weeks ago!”

The crowd cheered as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles toward the fans.

“Don’t forget the events of last week, when Arbuckle made the World title match this Sunday a no-disqualification match, and Garfield threw him out of the ring like a rag doll!” added Shake. “And the interim commissioner is about to put Tai through one last obstacle: a Hardcore match against the Toon Hardcore Champion!”

“And even Claude’s looking to prepare for his Triple Threat match for the World Television Championship this Sunday! This match has ‘unpredictable’ written all over it!” Early said, as a referee entered the ring and whispered something into Plankton’s ear.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .the following contest is a Hardcore match scheduled for one fall. . .it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event for the evening. . .

. . .and I have just been informed that it is for. . .the TOON WWE HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!”

The crowd erupted into gasps of shock as Claude looked at the referee, screaming “WHAT?” in disbelief!

“Introducing first, the challenger. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .he is the 2012 XCW Majesty of March. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

The crowd cheered as Tai only stared across the ring at Claude with a stoic expression.

“And his opponent. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .he is the Toon WWE Hardcore Champion. . .Liberty City’s Lucifer. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

Claude briefly protested with the referee, but could only shake his head and look back at Tai with his barbed-wire 2x4 cocked back, and ready to strike, until the bell rang and the match began!

Tai and Claude charged toward each other, and Claude immediately swung the bat toward Tai, but Tai took Claude down with a baseball slide to his legs. Tai kicked the 2x4 out of the ring and sat over Claude, nailing him in the face with right hand after right hand! Claude suddenly rolled Tai onto his back and hit him in the face with repeated right hands of his own! Claude rolled out of the ring and lifted up the ring apron, looking for a weapon. Tai, however, leapt over the top rope and took Claude down with a sunset flip pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out! Tai stood up only for Claude to take him back down with a clothesline!

“Now that the Toon Hardcore title is on the line, Claude will do whatever it takes to keep it, even if it means rendering Tai useless come Endgame!” Early said, as Claude looked under the ring and pulled out a garbage can! Tai stood back up to his feet only for Claude to smash the trash can onto his head, knocking him back down!  
Claude threw the trash can down to the floor and resumed looking under the ring to pull out a table and slide it into the ring. Claude looked back under the ring and pulled out a steel chair! Claude turned back around only for Tai to hit him in the chest with the trash can! Tai and Claude brawled at ringside, trading punches near a ring post. Tai, however, suddenly grabbed a hold of the back of Claude’s head and rammed Claude head first into the post! Tai then Irish whipped Claude, sending him back first into the barricade! As Claude stood back up, Tai took him down with a Jumping DDT! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out! 

Tai pulled Claude up to his feet and Irish whipped him all the way down to the timekeeper’s booth, with Claude stopping dead in his tracks before he could topple over it. Claude, however, snatched the ring bell out of the booth as Tai charged toward him. Tai leapt toward Claude for a Clothesline. . .only for Claude to nail him square in the face with the ring bell! Now busted open, Tai tried to shake himself back to reality as he got up to his knees, only for Claude to throw him chest first into the ring apron! Claude then caught Tai, lifted him up and took him down with a forward suplex against the ring apron, sending Tai to fall onto the ringside floor! Claude went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! 

“The Toon Hardcore Champion is giving Tai a beating he won’t forget!” Early said. “And our interim commissioner and World Heavyweight Champion are laughing their asses off as they watch this right now!”

“You got that right!” Shake said. “We all know Claude has nothing against Tai, but he’ll do whatever the hell he can to him in order to remain the Toon Hardcore Champion!”

Claude grabbed Tai by the hair and pulled him up to his feet. He then launched Tai over the announce table, sending him to land back-first against the barricade right in between Shake and Early! Claude then ripped the protective covering off the announce table, then pulled out all the TV monitors. Claude then climbed onto the announce table, and pulled Tai up into a powerbomb position.

“They’re gonna be in stitches once Claude finishes Tai off with this move!” Shake said, as Claude brought Tai up for a powerbomb. . .

. . .only for Tai to counter it into a neckbreaker, crashing Claude right through the table!!! Tai draped his arm over Claude for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!! Tai looked down at Claude with a malicious glare!

“How close did we come to having a new Toon Hardcore Champion??” asked Shake.

“Very close, Shake! But if the extreme beast inside the number one contender wasn’t awake before, it is right now!” Early said, as Tai pulled Claude up by the jacket and slid him back into the ring under the bottom rope, and grabbed a kendo stick from under the ring before sliding back into the ring himself. Tai cocked the kendo stick back, waiting for Claude to get up. Claude staggered up to his feet and Tai immediately hit him in the face with the kendo stick, knocking him down and busting him open! Claude lowered his brow, and his face contorted into a scowl of his own as he shot back up and charged toward Tai in rage, only for Tai to catch him and take him down with an Alabama Slam! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude nailed Tai with a right hand, and pushed him off for the kickout! Tai stood up to his feet as Claude charged toward him and nailed him with a Clothesline! Claude then latched onto the ropes and mudhole stomped Tai repeatedly onto his chest!

“Nothing like the sight of your own blood to put you into a psychotic frenzy!” Shake declared, as Claude Irish whipped Tai against the ropes. On the bounceback, Claude took Tai down with a massive spear! Claude went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TAI KICKED OUT!!! Claude punched the mat in frustration. . .only to turn towards the opposite corner and see the table he brought into the ring earlier!

“Claude couldn’t put the Majesty of March away. . .but perhaps he’ll do that right now!” said Early as Claude stepped over to the table and set it up in the center of the ring. Claude then stood over Tai, taunting for him to get up. Tai got up to his knees only for Claude to pull him up by the hair and throw him face-first into the corner. Claude then lifted Tai up to sit him on the top rope. . .only for Tai to drop out of it and take Claude down with three consecutive German suplexes! Tai then looked over at the table in the center of the ring and stepped toward it, dragging Claude behind him! Tai then set Claude on top of the table before stepping over to the corner closest to the ramp!

“Tai is now about to put Claude away! Will he gain the opportunity to become the first dual champion in XCW history?” wondered Early, as Tai climbed up to the top rope! Suddenly. . .

. . .”Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played!

“Wait a minute!” Early said, as Garfield’s theme music continued to play. . .but Garfield and Arbuckle were nowhere to be found! Tai turned to face the stage, waiting for Garfield in anticipation. . .

. . .while Claude got off the table, climbed up the corner and took Tai down with a Diving Back Drop right through the table!!! Claude went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Claude rolled out of the ring and collected his Hardcore title belt from the timekeeper as the bell rang. Meanwhile, Tai laid on the remains of the now broken table, clutching his chest as he struggled to get up to his feet.

“Here is your winner. . .AND STILL TOON WWE HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

Suddenly, Garfield and Jon Arbuckle strode down the ramp! Tai got up to his knees and scowled at them with more anger than ever before!

“The interim commissioner and the World Heavyweight Champion expected Claude to immobilize Tai tonight, but they had to take matters into their own hands, by distracting Tai!” Shake said as Claude strode around the ringside area and up the ramp, flipping Jon off as he passed them!

“And now they’re gonna finish what Claude essentially started!” Early cried, as Garfield stepped over all three ropes with Arbuckle behind him. Garfield looked down at Tai, who was slowly staggering up to his feet. Meanwhile, Arbuckle stood next to the World Champion with a wide grin on his face and a microphone in hand.

“You may be standing now, Mr. Kamiya. . .” said Arbuckle. “. . .but this Sunday, under these same rules, you’ll be going up against a man who is twice Claude’s size, ten times his ferocity, and a hundred times the strength and power of every man on our roster put together! At Endgame. . .you will be---“

Now in a standing position, Tai suddenly ripped the microphone out of Jon’s hand, struggling to catch his breath, but still looking at Jon and Garfield with the same malice as before.

“What, Arbuckle? I’ll be what? Beaten to kingdom come? Rendered useless? Food in Garfield’s bowl? I’ve heard enough crap about me coming out of your mouth! You and Garfield don’t like me, you’ve made that perfectly clear. But what I don’t fully understand is why. Is it because I’ve done more with my life and career in the past 21 years than you, Mr. Jon Arbuckle, have in yours? I’ve saved the world, won World Championships on four occasions, and got married! You, on the other hand, what have you done? You had a failed career as a cartoonist, tried getting into polka music of all things, and continue to hit on Fatass’s veterinarian despite getting rejected over and over and over again!” 

“And so what do you after all this failure? You take your frustrations out on the world by brainwashing your housepets, turning them into larger than life monsters, got them signed to XCW, and ordered them to wreak havoc! But even that wasn’t enough. You wanted to take over XCW yourself. So you ordered an attack on our first Commissioner, broke his back, and you manipulated our anonymous chairman to make you his replacement. And since then, this company has fallen in the ratings, thanks to your selfish incompetence not only as a businessman. . .but as a human being.”

Jon looked at Tai, seething with anger. Tai’s scowl turned away from Jon, and up at the World Heavyweight Champion, who began to speak in his own microphone.

“Garfield, why you obey this buffoon’s orders, and let him speak for you is beyond me! Hell, you couldn’t even win our match at Doomsday, or that belt you can’t fit around your waist without Jon’s help! Trust me, this Sunday is not only just about the attack on my wife, and your World Heavyweight Championship. As far as I’m concerned, it’s about me kicking your ass, and showing all the fans of XCW and the fans of fiction wrestling that a face can and will be a successful World Champion in this industry!”

Garfield pulled the microphone out of Tai’s hands and began to speak.

“Jon speaks for me because he knows I am the best. . .and I am a man of few words. I can beat you, and I will prove it this Sunday. You claim that I awoke the monster inside of you? Your words only anger me more than your presence. You’ve felt my anger before. . .and at Endgame. . .you will feel it again. Because I will beat you to a pulp, and remain the XCW World Heavyweight Champion!”

Tai and Garfield became engaged in a staredown, their eyes never breaking contact.

“The second chapter of this rivalry has reached personal levels, folks!” Early exclaimed. “What will happen this Sunday at Endgame in a no-disqualification match, when the Majesty of March, Tai Kamiya, takes on Garfield, the World Heavyweight Champion???” 

Garfield raised the World Heavyweight title belt high above his head as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Results

Spike Spiegel and Stimpy defeated Solid Snake and Odie  
Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd defeated Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski via DQ  
Arthur defeated Tommy Vercetti  
Ed, Rolf and Nazz (D-Generation Ed) defeated Kenny McCormick, Kevin and Peach  
Claude Speed defeated Tai Kamiya (retains Toon WWE Hardcore Championship)

XCW Endgame Card:

Kevin vs. Rolf vs. Kenny McCormick vs. Odie vs. Spike Spiegel vs. Stimpy vs. Solid Snake in a Seven-Way One Fall to a Finish match for the vacant XCW Hardcore Championship  
Claude Speed vs. Bugs Bunny (c) vs. Arthur in a Triple Threat Match for the XCW Television Championship  
Tommy Vercetti vs. ???  
Sora Takenouchi vs. Peach (c) for the XCW Women’s Championship  
D-Generation Ed (Ed & Edd) (c) vs. The South Park Four (Stan Marsh & Eric Cartman) for the XCW Tag Team Championship  
Tai Kamiya vs. Garfield (c) in a No-Disqualification Match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship

Alrighty, there’s part two. I’m starting a job in my field immediately after this chapter is published, so expect Endgame part 1 sometime next week. I’m glad to read the reviews and know you’re all excited, but I’m just warming up. In the meantime, the card for Endgame is above this author’s note for your predicting pleasure. Until next time, RATE/REVIEW!!!


	22. XCW Endgame: Part 1

AND NOW. . .DESTINED PRESENTS. . .XCW ENDGAME!!! I only own my championships.

“You’re Going Down” by Sick Puppies played as fireworks went off on the stage and titantron in a large arena, where thousands of fans stood cheering in excitement, holding up many signs of different colors.

“We welcome all of you to Endgame, ladies and gentlemen! We are live from the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, owned by Doug Dimmadome, here in Dimmsdale, California! Every championship is on the line here tonight, in matches that will bring you the best and most extreme animated wrestling action! Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and Shake, I have a feeling that we’re on the verge of an unpredictable night here in Dimmsdale!”

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” agreed Shake. “We have a multitude of fights tonight are between opponents so evenly matched, I have no idea who’s going to win! Tonight can go either way!”

“And so can our first match, a seven-way one fall to the finish match for the vacant XCW Hardcore Championship!” Early added, as Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“Our opening contest. . .is a Seven-Way One Fall to a Finish Hardcore Match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship!!!”

"The Light That Blinds" by Shadows Fall played as Kevin stepped onto the entranceway and strode down the ramp to boos from the crowd, with a 2x4 in hand.

“Introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .KEVIN!!!”

“The current PCUW World Heavyweight Champion is now looking to make his mark in XCW by becoming the new Hardcore Champion!” said Early.

“He has six other men to fight against for it right now, though, and one of them is his fellow PCUW Tag Team Champion!”

X-Pac's DX theme plays as Rolf steps onto the stage to cheers from the crowd!

“Representing D-Generation Ed. . .from Peach Creek by way of The Old Country. . .he is The Son of a Shepherd. . .ROLF!!!”

Rolf does the DX crotch chop three times, with pyro going off in unison to it each time.

“Later on tonight, the leaders of D-Generation Ed will be defending the XCW Tag Team Championships against two members of the South Park Four!” Early said. “But right now, the Son of a Shepherd is looking to bring a singles title to the already decorated stable!”

Rolf runs down the ramp and leaps onto the ring apron, then a top turnbuckle, posing toward the fans.

“A lot of the competitors in this match come from large, prestigious stables!” commented Shake. “Including. . .”

"What Would Brian Boitano?" by DVDA played as Kenny McCormick ran onto the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd with a shovel and steel chair in hand.

“. . .this man!”

“Representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .KENNY MCCORMICK!!!”

“Kenny has brief experience as a Hardcore Champion in his fiction wrestling career, when he won CWF’s Hardcore title in a 10-man challenge!” Early informed as Kenny entered the ring and climbed onto a turnbuckle, saluting the fans as Kevin and Rolf looked on.

“Cruiserweights such as Kevin and Rolf were very prevalent in the Hardcore scene in the original ECW days!” Shake said. “We’ll see tonight if either one of them will resurrect the trend!”

"Tank!" by The Seatbelts played as Spike Spiegel strode down the ramp with a lit cigarette in his mouth to a mixed reaction.

“From Planet Mars. . .SPIKE SPIEGEL!!!”

“Spike Spiegel is a former XCW Hardcore Champion, and my personal pick to win this match here tonight!” Early said as Spike climbed up the steel steps and flicked the cigarette butt against the barricade as he entered the ring, carrying a street sign and a kendo stick.

“He has more experience in XCW’s Hardcore division than everyone else in this match!” Shake said. “Everyone, that is, except for---“

"Amerika" by Rammstein played as Solid Snake stepped down the ramp towards the ring.

“---this man!”

“From The United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

The crowd gave a mixed reaction to Snake, who glared around at the audience members before finally staring his opponents down as he carried a kendo stick and nightstick.

“Snake sent a message to all the participants in this match last week on Monday Night Massacre, by attacking everyone after a tag team match he lost, including his partner!” Shake said.

“Solid Snake is a 2-time XCW Hardcore Champion, and probably the most dangerous man in this match environment, where pinfalls count anywhere, every hold is legal, and everything in the arena can be used as a weapon!” said Early, until all the lights went out in the arena.

Suddenly. . .an ambulance siren went off, as the crowd erupted into cheers! "YOU EEEEEEEDIOT!" came from the titantron, followed by Scott Steiner's TNA theme, which played throughout the arena, with pyro going off on the stage before Stimpy walked on the stage and down the ramp dragging a table behind him.

“From Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .STIMPY!!!”

“Along with his pal Ren, Stimpy is one half of the first-ever XCW Tag Team Champions! But will he be the first of his team to win a singles championship here in XCW?” Early wondered, as Stimpy entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, with Kenny McCormick looking on from a corner.

“I have no idea, Early!” answered Shake. “Stimpy, along with Ren, is known for using a table as a weapon, hell, it won’t even surprise me if he uses a raw chicken again! It’s gonna get that wild in this ring once Odie comes out.”

“John The Fisherman” by Primus played as Odie ran onto the stage to massive boos from the crowd.

“From Muncie, Indiana. . .ODIE!!!”

“I still can’t believe Arbuckle’s henchman still found a way in this match, Shake!” Early said in disgust. “The Hardcore title would’ve never gotten stripped from the Harwood Butcher if Odie never took it from him in the first place!”

“Come on, Early!” Shake pleaded. “He took advantage of the 24/7 rule to win it! Odie’s on the same level as every man in this match!”

Odie entered the ring with every other man in the match staring him down maliciously until the bell rang and the match began! Kevin charged toward Snake for a quick Bull Tackle but Snake dodged it, and whipped him across the back with a kendo stick! Kenny dove toward Stimpy and clocked him in the face with his shovel, while Rolf and Odie brawled in a corner of the ring. Meanwhile, Spike picked Kevin up and socked him in the jaw with an uppercut, only for Snake to nail Spike in the back of the head with the kendo stick! Spike turned around and took Snake down with a clothesline! Meanwhile, Kenny backed Stimpy up into the corner and hammered away at his face with right hand after right hand, until Rolf nailed Kenny in the back with a steel chair! Kenny turned around to face Rolf only for Rolf to hit him right between the eyes with the chair! Rolf went for a cover, 1. . .2. . .Odie broke up the three count with an elbow to Rolf’s back! 

Odie went for a right hand but Rolf caught it and nailed Odie with a right hand of his own! Rolf Irish whipped Odie into the corner face-first, with Odie bouncing hard off the turnbuckles. Odie stumbled back over toward Rolf, who took him down with a monkey flip! Before Rolf could go for a cover, though, Snake whacked him in the face with his kendo stick, knocking him down and busting him open!!! Snake went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kevin stomped on Snake, breaking up the three count! As Kevin pulled Snake up, however, Spike whacked Kevin in the face with a metal pipe! Spike then turned toward Snake and took him back down with the pipe! Spike ran against the ropes behind him and landed a Leg Drop onto Odie! As Spike got up, however, Kenny dove off the second turnbuckle and took him down with a Missile Dropkick! Kenny went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stimpy broke up the three count! 

Kenny stood up and faced Stimpy, who hit him with a clothesline that sent them both toppling over the ropes and down to the ringside floor! Meanwhile, by a corner, Kevin rolled out to the ringside area, spitting blood out of his mouth on the way.

“My God!” yelled Early. “Kevin may have lost a tooth or three at the hands of the bounty hunter, Spike Spiegel!”

“And he’s looking to join the fight on the outside!” Shake added, as Stimpy Irish whipped Kenny into the barricade close to the timekeeper’s booth! Stimpy ran toward Kenny for a clothesline over the barricade, only for Kevin to charge toward him, pick him up and take him down with an Alabama Slam on the concrete floor! Kevin went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Snake landed an Elbow Drop from the top rope to break up the three count!

“Snake may be an old man, but he can still go airborne!” Early said, as Spike slid out of the ring and pulled Snake up to his feet. Spike and Snake traded punches on the outside, with the crowd cheering “YAY!” in unison with Spike’s punches, and “BOO!” in unison with Snake’s. Meanwhile in the ring, Rolf and Odie stood up to their feet, standing at opposite corners. Rolf picked up a steel chair as Odie charged at him. . .

. . .and nailed Odie square in the face with the chair! Rolf then threw Odie’s prone body to the outside of the ring, right next to Kenny and Stimpy, who were standing up to their feet. Rolf then stepped toward a corner. . .ran toward the opposite corner. . . 

. . .AND SOMERSAULTED OVER THE CORNER, TAKING DOWN ALL THE MEN AT RINGSIDE!!! All seven men were down on the concrete floor as the crowd chanted “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” and “X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!!”

“Rolf may be bloodied, but he’s still willing to sacrifice his body even further to be the Hardcore Champion!” Early said, as Rolf crawled over Snake’s body for a pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Snake kicked out!!! Rolf rolled off Snake and staggered up to his feet. Once Snake stood up, Rolf leapt toward him for a Tornado DDT. . .only for Snake to catch him and slam him to the floor with a Scoop Slam! Snake then pulled Rolf up by the hair and threw him face and neck first into the front of the announcer’s table! Odie stood back up and took Snake down with a chop block! Odie then climbed onto the ring apron and raised his arms out from his sides, taunting the crowd, who booed back at him. Odie then jumped off the ring apron and took Snake down with a Missile Dropkick that pushed him back into Rolf, crushing him against the announcer’s table! Meanwhile, Spike grabbed Kenny by his coat hood and rammed him face-first into the edge of the barricade. Stimpy and Kevin rose back up to their feet and traded punches until Kevin blocked one, and countered it with a headbutt! Kevin then Irish whipped Stimpy into the steel steps, with Stimpy hitting them with a sickening thud! Kevin then grabbed the steel steps and crushed Stimpy’s prone body with them!!! Kevin went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Stimpy kicked out!!! Kevin kicked the steel steps forward in frustration, sending them right in front of Snake, Odie and Rolf in a pile in front of the announcer’s table. As Kevin started to stomp a mudhole onto Odie, Spike threw Kenny’s prone body over the barricade and into the crowd before standing over Rolf. Spike pulled Rolf up to his feet by the hair and took him down with another Scoop Slam on the concrete floor. Spike then ripped the protective covering of the annoucer’s table off, and hit Snake in the sternum with it for good measure. Spike then pulled Rolf onto the annoucer’s table, and stood on it with him. Spike nailed Rolf in the face with a punch combo, followed by an uppercut. Rolf reeled a bit until Spike tied up him by his arms. . .and lifted him up for a Full Nelson Slam. . .

. . .ONlY FOR KEVIN TO RUN UP THE STEEL STEPS AND BULL TACKLE SPIKE RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Kevin, Spike, and Rolf were down in the remains of the announcer’s table as the crowd chanted “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

“MY GOD!” yelled Shake. “Kevin knocked over my Battlefield Earth glass!”

“These three men are down on what remains on our announce table! And Kevin looking to capitalize from it all!” screamed Early as Kevin crawled over Rolf for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ROLF KICKED OUT!!! Kevin punched the ground in frustration! Meanwhile, Kenny climbed up onto the barricade above Kevin, who crawled over Spike for another pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 KENNY BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A SENTON BOMB!!! Kenny went for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 SNAKE WHACKED KENNY ACROSS THE BACK WITH A KENDO STICK!!! Snake went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 Odie nailed Snake with a leg drop to the back of Snake’s head! Odie attempted to go for a pin. . .but Stimpy grabbed Odie by the ears and took him down with a Backbreaker! Stimpy stepped toward Spike for a cover. . .but Snake picked him up and took him down with a rolling fireman’s carry slam on the concrete floor! Meanwhile, mini-brawls broke out between Kenny and Rolf, and Kevin and Odie. Snake lumbered over toward Spike and pulled him back up to his feet, then socking him in the jaw with an uppercut. Snake then put Spike onto his shoulders for another rolling fireman’s carry slam. . .but Spike dropped out of it! Snake turned back around. . .

. . .AND WAS IMMEDIATELY HIT BY REAL FOLK BLUES FROM SPIKE!!! Spike went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.999999 STIMPY BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!! Stimpy pulled Spike up and slid him back into the ring, then slid back in behind him. He hurried to the left side of the ring where his table laid, and picked it up while Kenny, Rolf, Kevin and Odie ran back toward the ring, with different weapons in hand. Stimpy successfully leaned the table up against the corner and turned around. . .to get a steel chair shot to the face by Kenny!!! Kenny closed in on a pin attempt. . .only for Spike to nail Kenny in the back with a cookie sheet! Spike then lifted Kenny up and took him down with a back body drop onto a street sign!!! Spike then looked to his side and picked up the same kendo stick Snake had used earlier. Spike nailed every man in sight with the kendo stick until he came to see Stimpy pulling himself up with the ropes, right next to the table in the corner. As Stimpy staggered toward the table, Spike cocked the now-bent kendo stick back. . .

. . .ran toward Stimpy. . .

. . .but Stimpy spun behind Spike! He spun back around, slightly dazed. In the opposite corner, Kevin taunted for Stimpy to turn around by scraping his foot against the mat like a bull. He charged toward Stimpy, who leapt up to give Spike a Log Cutter. . .

. . .BUT KEVIN PUT BOTH STIMPY AND SPIKE THROUGH THE TABLE WITH A BULL TACKLE!!! All three men were in a heap surrounded by broken wood in the corner as the crowd screamed “X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!” once more!!!

“BY GOD! BY GOD! KEVIN BROKE SPIKE AND STIMPY IN HALF, BUT HE MAY HAVE TAKEN HIMSELF OUT IN THE PROCESS!!!” yelled Early, while Odie and Rolf hit each other in the head with a trash can lid and a 2x4, respectively. They continued nailing each other with their weapons under Rolf broke the 2x4 over Odie’s head, sending Odie into a daze!!! Rolf dropped the 2x4 and took advantge of this by taking Odie down with a Jawbreaker! With his bloodied face, Rolf looked to his left to see Kenny staggering up to his feet! Rolf ran toward the corner Kenny faced, ran up it and landed a Whisper of the Wind onto Kenny! Now a house of fire, Rolf looked up at the ceiling and yelled in intensity. . .

. . .ONLY FOR ODIE TO TAKE HIM DOWN WITH THE BACK STABBER!!! Odie went for a cover, hooking the leg. . .

. . .but Kevin had Spike covered in the corner!! The referee made both counts!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99999999998 ROLF KICKED OUT, AND KENNY BROKE UP KEVIN’S PIN ON SPIKE!!!

“My God, all seven of these men have beaten each other senseless here tonight!” Early declared, as Odie stood back up, trying to shake his head back into reality!

“And Odie’s beaten into next week!” added Shake. “Does he have enough left to become the new Hardcore Champion???”

Odie stumbled over to Kenny, taunting for him to get up. Kenny staggered up to his feet as Odie leapt onto his back for another Back Stabber. . .

. . .but Kenny fell backwards, landing Odie onto his head with him!!! Odie clenched the back of his head as he rolled out of the ring. Meanwhile, Kenny stood back up and dodged Rolf’s Clothesline From The Old Country, forcing him to run against the ropes. On the bounceback, Kenny kicked Rolf in the midsection. . .went for the South Park Stunner. . .

. . .but Rolf shoved Kenny toward the ropes!!! As Kenny bounced back, though, he slid under Rolf’s legs, ran against the ropes on the other side of the ring, and dropkicked Rolf in the back, sending Rolf’s head and arms to hang over the middle rope!! Kenny then ran toward the ropes in front of him. . .latched onto them. . .

. . .AND HIT ROLF WITH THE 303!!! With Rolf now down in the center of the ring, Kenny leapt onto the top rope. . .jumped toward Rolf for a moonsault. . .

. . .BUT ROLF SHOT UP IN TIME TO CLOCK KENNY IN THE FACE WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!!!!

“BY GOD!” Early screamed. “THE SON OF A SHEPHERD JUST FLIPPED THE EXTREMIST 360 DEGREES---”

Rolf went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!!

“---ON HIS WAY TO WINNING THE HARDCORE TITLE!!!” finished Early, as Rolf rolled off Kenny and looked up at the ceiling, yelling “THANK YOU!!!” in celebration!

“The winner of the match. . .AND NEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .THE SON OF A SHEPHERD. . .ROLF!!!”

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause as Rolf stood up, and received the Hardcore title belt from the referee!

“Endgame has gotten off to a thunderous start with The Son of a Shepherd, and D-Generation Ed member, Rolf, filling the vacancy of the XCW Hardcore Championship!” Early said, as the referee raised Rolf’s arm in victory!

“What a way to start off this night in Dimmsdale!” Shake said. “Will Ed and Edd have the same luck as their comrade, Rolf, in their tag team title match later tonight?”

Rolf slid out of the ring and stepped backwards up the ramp, raising the Hardcore title belt above his head as the show went to the backstage area.

Nazz strode down a hallway and walked right past the open door to a training room. She stopped in her tracks and backtracked to the training room and looked through the doorway to see Sora Takenouchi sitting on a medical bed, getting her abdomen heavily taped up significantly more so than weeks before by a doctor. 

“Keep taping! One more layer if you can!” Sora demanded.

Nazz stormed into the room looking at Sora with a shocked expression.

“You can’t possibly be serious about going out there tonight!!!” yelled Nazz. Sora looked up at her for a brief second then looked back down as the doctor finished taping up her ribs.

“I have a case for a rematch, you know! Peach stole my championship!” Nazz attested. “Your health is in question, so I feel like I should be allowed to take your place in the Women’s title match tonight.”

Sora stepped off the bed and came face-to-face with Nazz.

“Look, Nazz, you do have a case. You want to get back at Peach as much as I do. But I was medically cleared despite being less than 100 percent. I’ve waited too long for my title shot, and tonight, I’m not gonna let anything stop me from taking it, especially the chokeslam I suffered at the AWF Supershow! But Nazz, I promise you two things. One, you will get another shot at the Women’s title. And two, that it’ll be the toughest challenge of your life!”

Sora strode out of the training room, with Nazz sticking her head out of the doorway looking at her.

“I’m looking forward to that!” Nazz yelled, as the show went back to the arena.

Back in the ring, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is a Triple Threat match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Championship!!!”

The 'Dashing' Cody Rhodes theme played as Arthur stepped onto the stage wearing a yellow hooded vest.

“Introducing first. . .the challengers. First, from Elwood City. . .ARTHUR!!!”

Arthur pushed the hood behind his head, revealing his face to boos from the crowd, before walking down the ramp.

“Arthur claims to be the best Television Champion in this industry, but he hasn’t shown it this past month!” Early informed. “The PBS Kid has ambushed the Television Champion, and cheated his way to victories in his matches!”

Arthur entered the ring above the second rope and came to the center of the ring, scanning the audience, who continued to boo at him.

“He has not, Early!” Shake protested. “Arthur’s done whatever it takes to win his matches! Add to it, he does what he says he does: teach good morals and life lessons! He’ll be a great World Television Champion! Much better than anyone else in this match.”

Suddenly, pyro erupted on the stage, and “No Mercy” by Pharaoh Monche played! Claude Speed walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with a barbed-wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand and the Toon WWE Hardcore title belt around his waist.

“From Liberty City, USA. . .he is Liberty City’s Lucifer. . .and the Toon WWE Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“Claude earned the right to compete for the World Television Championship after defeating Deadpool in one of the bloodiest, most violent matches in the history of this business.” Early informed, as Claude walked around the ring and rested his 2x4 against a ring post. “And now Claude can make XCW history here tonight, by being the first man on our roster to carry two titles at once!”

Claude then entered the ring through the second rope and climbed onto the second turnbuckle, raising the Toon Hardcore title belt above his head toward the fans.

“Yeah, but Claude only has a 33% chance of winning this match tonight!” Shake said. “He has a lot to overcome with the other two men he’ll be facing off with here tonight!”

"What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage, with the World Television title belt around his waist.

“And. . .from Burbank, California. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“Since winning the title earlier this month, Bugs has promised to bring prestige and glory back to the World Television Championship!” Early said. “And with a win in his first title defense here tonight, he’ll do just that!”

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, raising the World Television title belt above his head toward the fans.

“I’ll admit, Bugs does have an edge in this match.” Shake said. “Like Arthur said, he has a history of violence dating all the way to his first cartoon! But that history could come to an end here tonight!” 

Early rolled his eyes as Bugs stepped off the turnbuckle and gave the Television title belt to the referee. However, Arthur charged toward Bugs and took him down with a Clothesline, then hammered away at his face with right hands, as the bell rang and the match began! Arthur stood up only to get nailed in the face with a clothesline from Claude! Claude then stomped a mudhole onto Arthur’s chest until Bugs put Claude in a head lock and pushed him against the ropes. On the bounceback, though, Claude shoved Bugs off of him, sending him against the ropes on the other side of the ring. As Bugs bounced back, Claude took him down with a Lou Thesz Press, and hammered away at his face with thunderous right and left hands! Claude went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!

Claude pulled Bugs up to his feet and hit him with a punch combination. Claude then Irish whipped Bugs toward the ropes but Bugs countered with an Irish whip of his own! As Claude bounced back, Bugs took him down with a kick to the gut! Before he could go for a cover, though, Arthur had gotten up to his feet and hit Bugs with an elbow thrust to the back of the head! Arthur then took Bugs down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Arthur went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out! Arthur pulled the Television Champion up to his feet and hit him with a Throat Thrust. Arthur then ran against the ropes behind him, slid onto his back and slapped Bugs straight across the face before taking him down with a Face Buster! Arthur went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Claude broke up the three count!

Arthur and Claude began to trade right hands until Claude landed a surprise left hand, knocking Arthur back up against the ropes behind him. By this point, Bugs had made it up to his feet. Claude ran against the ropes for a clothesline to Arthur. . .only for Bugs to send Arthur over the ropes and down to the ringside floor with a Dropkick! Claude slid out of the ring and clocked Arthur in the face with a right hand wbile Bugs ran against the ropes behind him. Claude then picked Arthur up and slammed him on the ring apron with a forward suplex, only to immediately get taken down with a baseball slide from Bugs!!! Bugs slid out of the ring and slapped Arthur with a chop to the chest. Bugs continued to hit Arthur with chop after chop until Arthur was backed up to a ring post. Bugs then grabbed Arthur by his shirt and threw him chest first into the ring apron! Arthur sold his abdomen in pain until Bugs picked him up and slammed him down to the concrete floor with a Gutwrench Powerbomb!!! Bugs stood back up only for Claude to shove him face and chest first into the ring post!

“Keep in mind that in this triple threat match, there are no countouts and no disqualifications!” Early said. “And no one in this match knows how to compete under no-disqualification rules better than Liberty City’s Lucifer, Claude Speed!”

Claude then picked Bugs up by the ears and Irish whipped him toward the steel steps on another side of the ring. . .only for Bugs to counter with an Irish whip of his own that slammed Claude right into the steel steps with a sickening thud! Bugs then stepped over to Claude and socked him in the jaw with an uppercut before sliding him into the ring under the second rope. Bugs followed him in afterwards and went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out!!! Bugs pulled Claude back to a standing position only for Claude to shove Bugs toward the ropes. Bugs grabbed onto the ropes on impact, then got into a tie-up. Bugs put Claude in a side headlock and took him down with a side headlock takedown. Bugs wrenched on Claude’s head a bit until Arthur made his way back into the ring, upon which Arthur hit Bugs with a dropkick to the back! Arthur quickly went for the cover on Claude! 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out!!! 

Claude struggled to push himself up to his knees, upon which Arthur proceeded to slap him repeatedly from cheek to cheek, to massive boos from the crowd!

“This young punk Arthur is embarrassing Claude Speed!” Early said, as Claude looked up at Arthur with a menacing scowl. “Arthur’s messing with the bull, and he’s gonna get the horns!”

Claude appeared to be foaming at the mouth with anger as he got up to one knee. Arthur went to hit Claude in the face with a right hand. . .

. . .but Claude grabbed it, blocking it! He clenched onto Arthur’s arm tightly as he finally came back to a standing position. Claude threw Arthur’s arm at his side and landed a right fist right between the eyes! Claude continued to land punch combination after punch combination onto the PBS Kid until he became backed up in the corner! Claude then kicked Arthur repeatedly in the gut until he fell into a seated position, upon which Claude proceeded to stomp a mudhole all over Arthur!!! Claude stepped out of the corner, yelling obscenities a la Stone Cold to the audience from the intensity. . .

. . .BUT FROM OUT OF NOWHERE BUGS WHACKED CLAUDE IN THE FACE WITH A KARATE KICK!!! Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!! Bugs couldn’t believe it!!! 

“How close was Bugs to retaining the TV Championship???” Shake wondered, as Bugs stood up and taunted for Claude to stand up. Claude rose up to his knees. . .as Arthur got out of the corner, picked Bugs up and took him down with a German suplex! Arthur then hit Bugs in the back with a judo kick, then slammed him down to the mat with an Alabama Slam! Arthur went for the cover, using the ropes for leverage!!!

“NO! ARTHUR’S GONNA STEAL ANOTHER ONE!!!” screamed Early, as the referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 THE REFEREE STOPPED THE COUNT UPON SEEING ARTHUR’S FEET ON THE ROPES!!! Arthur stepped off the ropes and argued with the referee, protesting his innocence. The referee threatened to throw Arthur out of the match, and Arthur just turned away from the referee, annoyed. However, he turned right into a kick to the midsection from Bugs!!! Bugs then lifted him up and slammed him down with the Bunny Bomb!!! Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 CLAUDE BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!! All three men were down near a corner of the ring, and they all struggled to get up to their feet!

“ALL THREE MEN ARE DOWN!” Early exclaimed. “WHO’S GONNA BE THE TELEVISION CHAMPION OF THE WORLD???”

Claude pulled himself up with the ropes, while Bugs recollected himself in the corner, while Arthur struggled to push himself up to his right. Claude and Bugs traded punches until Claude surprisingly missed a right hand, upon which Bugs caught Claude and took him down with a Full Nelson Slam!!! The fans were on their feet as the World Television Champion, selling his chest, looked up, and pointed at the corner!

“The Icon of Animation now looking to put Liberty City’s Lucifer away, and retain his Championship!” said Early, as Bugs climbed up to the top rope!!! He pointed his elbow toward Claude. . .slapped it three times. . .

. . .leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .for the ACME Elbow Drop. . .

. . .BUT CLAUDE ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY, CAUSING BUGS TO LAND HARD ON THE MAT!!! Both Claude and Bugs were down in the center of the ring as Arthur crawled toward both of them!!!

“NO! YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!” screamed Early in disbelief, as Arthur draped his arm over Bugs for a pin attempt!!! 1. . .

“NO!!”

2\. . .

“NOT THIS WAY!”

. . .2.99 BUGS KICKED OUT!!! Arthur looked down at him in shock. . .but shook his head as he crawled toward Claude!!!

“ARTHUR’S GONNA TRY HIS LUCK WITH CLAUDE!!” Early yelled, as Arthur went for the cover! 1. . .

“NO!!!”

2\. . .

“PLEASE!!”

. . .2.999 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!! Arthur punched the mat repeatedly in frustration!!! 

“CLAUDE AND BUGS HAVE SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” exclaimed Early, as Arthur rose up to his feet, selling his knee. He taunted for Bugs to rise up to his feet. Bugs rose to one knee, trying to catch his breath. Bugs staggered up to a standing position. . .

. . .ONLY FOR ARTHUR TO GRAB HIS HEAD AND TAKE HIM DOWN WITH THE FINAL CHAPTER!!!

“THE FINAL CHAPTER CONNECTS!!!” Shake yelled in excitement.

“No. . .” said Early, as Arthur went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

“Yes!” said Shake!

2\. . .

“PBS reigns sup---“

. . .Arthur suddenly rose off the cover, as Claude went for a falling elbow to break up the count, causing Claude to land the elbow onto Bugs!!! Bugs clenched his abdomen in pain as he rolled out of the ring. Selling his side, Claude stood up and looked across the ring at Arthur, who had a mischievous look on his face. Claude went for a tie-up but Arthur slipped behind Claude and set him up for the Final Chapter. . .

. . .but Claude countered out of it and took Arthur down with a reverse DDT!!! Claude thought about going for the cover. . .but instead rolled off Arthur and stepped back toward a corner, taunting for Arthur to get up on the way! Arthur rolled onto his chest and pushed himself up with his arms before finally getting up to a standing position. Claude went for the Bicycle Kick. . .

. . .but Arthur caught Claude’s leg just in time!!! Arthur kicked Claude in the gut with a kick to the midsection of his own, then ran against the ropes behind him. Arthur went for a Scissors Kick. . .

. . .but Claude dodged it! Arthur turned back around to face Claude. . .

. . .AND ATE HIS BICYCLE KICK!!!

“THE BICYCLE KICK CONNECTED!!!” Early yelled, as Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“CLAUDE SPEED IS BACK!!!” exclaimed Early, as Claude stood up and pumped his fists into the air in celebration!

“The winner of this match. . .AND NEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

The referee handed Claude the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship and the XCW World Television Championship belt and rose his arm above his head in victory!

“CLAUDE IS STRONG. . .CLAUDE HAS BECOME THE TELEVISION CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!” screamed Early, as Claude climbed onto a top rope and held both titles above his head, still celebrating with the fans, who were in a frenzy!

“The fans are on their feet here in Dimmsdale, because they just witnessed Claude Speed further fulfill his vow to them!” Early declared. “He’s won the World Television title!”

“Yeah, Claude won the match, but he didn’t even pin the former Champion!” Shake informed. “Bugs has a claim for a rematch, for sure!”

Claude stepped off the turnbuckle and rolled out of the ring, raising both titles above his head as he smiled in glory.

“You’re absolutely right about that, Shake!” Early said. “I can’t wait to see that rematch! But for right now, Claude Speed is the XCW Television Champion of the World, and has come one step closer to being a contender for the World Heavyweight title!”

Claude left the stage to go the backstage area as the show cut to Early and Shake sitting at the announcer’s table.

“But tonight, that title is in the hands of the monster, Garfield, and he will put it on the line against the rightful number one contender, Tai Kamiya, in a No Disqualification match! But earlier this week, Tai and Sora were involved in the AWF Christmas Supershow, during which, after Tai’s victory over Masaru Daimon, the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield came out to the ring to make the last move before Endgame!”

“Oh, he made his move, alright!” Shake added. “Not only did he chokeslam Tai, he chokeslammed Sora, too! Now as we saw earlier, Sora is still medically cleared to compete tonight for the XCW Women’s title, but did reaggravate her injured ribs somewhat. But what does Tai have to say about all this? Let’s go live to Carl Brutanandilewski and find out!”

The show went to a hallway, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood outside Tai Kamiya’s locker room with a microphone in hand. He knocked on the door several times, but no one answered the door.

“Tai?” Carl asked, but got no answer. “Tai? Can I get your thoughts about the events of the AWF Supershow, and your final thoughts about the World title match tonight?”

Still no answer. Carl started to walk down the hallway only to run into Tommy Vercetti!

“Trust me, you don’t want to bother him.” Tommy said. “You know how mad I get when I see my own blood? He’s ten times angrier than that right now.”

Carl nodded his head before speaking into the microphone.

“Knowing that, Tommy, up next, you’re in a one-on-one match with a future shot at the XCW World Heavyweight title on the line. However, the twist is, you haven’t known who your opponent is since the match was announced! What’s your mindset going into your match?”

“My mindset tonight,” answered Tommy, “. . .is to go out there and beat him senseless. It doesn’t matter who my opponent is tonight, it could be Bart Simpson, it could be Superman, hell, it may even be Goku for all I know! But whoever I face out there tonight is gonna get a beating that they won’t forget. And as for whoever leaves this arena tonight as the World Heavyweight Champion, the same applies to them, because my name is Tommy Vercetti. . .and I’m here to raise HELL!”

Tommy strode down the hallway, leaving Carl behind as the show went back to the ring, where Plankton stood with a microphone in hand.

“The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the number one contendership of the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as a Haitian Voodoo car rode down the ramp as the crowd erupted into cheers!

"Introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"

“It has been a rough month for the Harwood Butcher.” Early said. “First he lost the March Majesty finals, then lost the Hardcore title not once, but twice, then won it back, only for our interim commissioner to strip him of the title! And now Jon Arbuckle has placed Tommy Vercetti in a one-on-one match to determine the number one contender for the World Heavyweight title, but left Tommy to guess who his opponent is!”

Tommy rode the car around the ringside area, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp, with the hood facing the stage. Tommy stepped out of the car and pumped a fist in the air, saluting the crowd.

“He’s felt the wrath of Jon Arbuckle since invading WWE’s Royal Rumble!” Shake said. “And he’s deserved it, if you ask me! Once a two-bit street thug, always a two-bit street thug!”

“Tommy did all that to help his friend, Claude, Shake, and look how far Claude’s come from it since!” said Early. “And now Tommy is looking to go far in this business too, starting with a win here tonight, against a mystery opponent!”

Tommy slid into the ring under the ropes and raised both fists in the air toward the fans.

“AND HIS OPPONENT. . .”

Tommy looked down the ramp in anticipation. . .until. . .

. . .”Teen Beat Ocean” by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song!!! 

“Wait a minute!” exclaimed Shake, as onto the ramp, walked. . .

MARIO!!!

“I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!!” Shake yelled, as Mario posed on the stage to surprisingly more cheers than boos from the crowd!

“. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .MARIO!!!”

“The first ever XCW World Heavyweight Champion is back in action!!!” Early declared, as Mario ran down the ramp. Tommy stepped back, looking at Mario with surprised excitement.

“The last time we saw Mario, he lost the XCW World Heavyweight Championship to Garfield at March Majesty!” informed Early. “But tonight he returns to XCW looking to regain his ground!”

Mario climbed onto a top rope and saluted the fans with a peace sign. He stepped off the turnbuckle and looked across the ring at Tommy and said “I’m-a back!” before the bell rang and the match began!

Tommy and Mario paced around the ring, their eyes locked onto each other. They charged toward each other and got into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Mario put Tommy into a headlock and took him down with a side-headlock takedown. He wrenched the headlock onto Tommy’s head until Tommy hit Mario in the jaw with a free knee. Tommy stood back onto his feet and nailed Mario in the face with a right hand. Tommy continued to hit Mario in the face with punch combination after punch combination until Mario wrapped his arm around Tommy’s head and kneed him in the gut. Mario attempted a Russian Leg Sweep, only for Tommy to kick Mario in the leg, then lift him up and take him down with an Atomic Drop! Tommy grabbed Mario by the legs and drug him into the center of the ring, then went for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!

Tommy pulled Mario up to his feet but Mario surprised him with an elbow to the face! Mario then put Tommy into a front face lock and lifted him up for a DDT, but Tommy powered out of it with a Back drop of his own, sending Mario down to the mat! Instead of going for the cover, Tommy put Mario into a headlock of his own, then pulled him up to a standing position. Tommy then took Mario back down with a neckbreaker! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out! Before Tommy could pull him up, Mario leapt up to his feet and landed a series of backhanded chops to Tommy’s sternum, which backed him up to a corner. Mario then hit Tommy in the sternum with shoulder thrusts that sent Tommy down to a seated position. Mario then picked Tommy up by the shirt collar, and drug him to the center of the ring. Mario then threw Tommy shoulder first into the corner, driving him to hit the post shoulder-first!

“Wherever Mario’s been doing for the past month, he’s never lost touch with his aggressive side!” Early said. “And he needs it here to match that of the Harwood Butcher.”

Mario pulled Tommy out of the corner and took him down with a DDT! Mario then rolled Tommy face-up on the mat for a cover, hooking the leg!! 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!!! Mario and Tommy shot back up to their feet, with Tommy striking first, taking down Mario with a clothesline! Tommy stalked Mario until he got to his feet, then took him down with another clothesline! Tommy stalked Mario again until he stood up, then took him down with a reverse atomic drop!!! Tommy went for the quick cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!!!

Tommy pulled Mario up to his feet then hit him in the face with another punch combination until Mario became backed up against the ropes. Tommy ran against the ropes behind him, went for a clothesline. . .

. . .but Mario pulled down on the top rope, sending Tommy to fall to the ringside floor! Tommy clutched his head in pain as he struggled to get up to his feet. . .

. . .only for Mario to take Tommy back down with a Diving Leg Drop from the top rope!!! Mario and Tommy were down on the ringside floor as the referee began the ten count! Mario slowly sat up first, while Tommy rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up to his knees. Now standing, Mario ran toward Tommy and knocked him in the chest with a fierce kick! Mario then pulled Tommy back up to his feet and kneed him in the gut, then took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Tommy screamed in agonizing pain from landing on the concrete floor as the referee’s count reached three. Mario then pulled Tommy up to his knees. . .only for Tommy to surprise Mario with a throat thrust! Tommy then Irish whipped Mario hard onto the barricade, with Mario wincing in pain upon making contact with the barricade! Mario then took a couple steps forward. . .only for Tommy to pick him up and take him down with a Scoop Slam! Mario let out a cry of agony before Tommy pulled him up by the arm, while the referee’s count reached five!!! Tommy Irish whipped Mario hard against the ring apron, then slid him back into the ring and landed a hard elbow to Mario’s face! Tommy slid into the ring and went for a pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Mario kicked out!!! Tommy couldn’t believe it! 

“The Harwood Butcher has gained all the momentum in this match, but now comes the tough task of putting Mario away!” commented Early, as Tommy Irish whipped Mario into a corner. Tommy charged toward Mario only to get kicked in the face! Tommy stumbled backward a bit, clenching his jaw, until Mario leapt off the second rope and took Tommy down with a Jumping Tornado DDT! Mario went for the cover 

1\. . .

2\. . .

. . .TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! Mario slapped the mat with his hands in frustration before coming to Tommy’s legs and locking him in the Boston Crab submission hold! Tommy writhed and screamed in agonizing pain as he thrashed his way toward the ropes. The referee knelt down and asked Tommy if he wanted to quit, but Tommy vehemently shook his head no as he inched closer to the ropes. Tommy extended his arm out. . .

. . .wormed closer and closer. . .

. . .and successfully made it to the ropes, forcing Mario to break the hold! Mario then landed a series of kicks to Tommy’s abdomen, and went for a third. . .only for Tommy to spin around and kick Mario’s leg away! Tommy pulled himself up with the ropes as Mario charged toward him for a tackle. . .but Tommy caught him, raised him high and slammed him to the mat with a Standing Spinebuster!!! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 MARIO KICKED OUT!!!! Tommy rolled off Mario, and laid face-up on the mat, trying to catch his breath as the referee began the ten count!

“Both of these men have put on one hell of a show here tonight!” declared Early. “Who will be the number one contender to the World title???”

Tommy and Mario staggered up to their feet and traded right hands in the center of the ring, with the crowd cheering in unison with each man’s punch! They continued to punch each other until Tommy surprised Mario with a left hand! Tommy then kneed Mario in the gut, then took him back down with a Double Arm DDT!!! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 MARIO KICKED OUT!!! Tommy couldn’t believe it!!! Tommy slammed a fist onto the mat before quickly standing back up. Tommy then taunted for Mario to turn around as he watched Mario stagger up to his feet, clenching his head. Tommy grabbed Mario’s arms, tied them up and lifted Mario for the Vercetti Driver. . .

. . .but Mario dropped out of it!!! Tommy turned around and Mario immediately draped his arm over his shoulder, and took him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex!!! Mario went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! Mario looked down at the Harwood Butcher in disbelief!!! Mario then stood up and waited for Tommy to get to his feet, while Tommy sold his lower back in pain.

“All the damage to the lower back has finally gotten to the Harwood Butcher! Will he overcome it all to win a shot at the World Heavyweight title???” Early asked, as Mario went for a Jawbreaker. . .

. . .but Tommy caught Mario with an uppercut!!! Tommy then tackled a dazed Mario and drove him into a corner turnbuckle. Tommy hit Mario with a flurry of punches before draping his arm onto his back. Tommy then lifted Mario onto the top rope, then climbed up to the top rope with him!

“Tommy Vercetti may gain the upper hand here!!!” Early said, as Tommy lifted Mario up for a Superplex. . .

. . .but Mario tried to fight out of it!!! Mario landed right hand after right hand to Tommy’s sore abdomen and chest. . .

. . .until Tommy fell off the top rope, and onto the mat, flat on his back!!! Now perched on the top rope, Mario sized Tommy up. . .leapt off the corner. . .

. . .AND LANDED THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH!!!!

“SUPER MARIO SPLASH CONNECTING!!!” Early screamed, as Mario clutched his ribs from the impact. Mario crawled onto Tommy for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Mario got up as the bell rang and held up a peace sign as he sold his ribs.

“The winner of this match. . .MARIO!!!”

“The fans are on their feet here in Dimmsdale, for they have just witnessed Mario’s emphatic return to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!!!” Early declared, as the referee raised Mario’s arm in victory. Meanwhile, Tommy rolled out of the ring and looked up at Mario, sneering in disgust.

“And things continue to not go in Tommy’s favor!” Shake added. “He didn’t know who his opponent was, had a great wrestling match tonight, but in the end, the Harwood Butcher is on the losing end.”

Mario stood on a top rope, saluting the crowd as they continued to cheer and chant “WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!”

“And the first ever XCW World Heavyweight Champion is on the winning end!” finished Early. “They hated him before, but the fans sure are glad to see him, and I don’t blame them!”

Suddenly the show cut back to Early and Shake sitting at the announcer’s table.

“Mario is a living legend in this business, and he looks to have put his days with the Super Mario Syndicate behind him.” Early said.

“And I’ve got a feeling that tomorrow night on Monday Night Massacre, we’ll find out more about why Mario disappeared, and what he has in store for XCW upon his return!” Shake said.

“A lot could happen that night, but there’s a lot more to come tonight as well!” Early declared. “But switching gears for a moment, ladies and gentlemen, allow us to take the time to congratulate one of our competitors, Peach Creek Ultimate Wrestling, on not only becoming number one in the fiction wrestling ratings, but also for their end-of-the-year pay-per-view, New Day, becoming the highest rated pay-per-view in fiction wrestling history!”

“Yeah, enjoy it, because we’ll be sneaking up on you!” shouted Shake.

“Quiet, Shake!” Early snapped. “And as they move forward to their second year in this business, they’ve gone out and acquired multiple free agents from all over the fictionverse; and two of them are one of our own. These two competitors have won multiple championships in our developmental league, and they have now signed with PCUW and UWE with the intention of making a quick impact in this business! All that being said, let’s take A Closer Look. . .at Ashley Mesnard and Thomas Ambrose!”

A video package began to play, starting with Thomas and Ashley standing with their backs to the camera in the center of a wrestling ring.

“We were outcasts. . .” said Thomas, before brief, flashing images of an empty schoolyard, hallways lined with gray lockers, and a rundown gym were shown.

“We were abandoned. . .” Ashley, before the package cut to a wide black and white shot of a young woman sitting alone on a table, up against a large window in a very long hallway.

“And we were humiliated.” Thomas said over old, worn footage of various sporting events, from football, to basketball to even track and field, each of them showing the opposing team obliterating their opponents by a wide margin.

“But as they made us angry. . .” Thomas continued, as he and Ashley stood in the ring looking up at each other passionately, their foreheads touching.

“. . .we vowed to destroy them.” 

High-definition wrestling footage played out, showing Thomas, a muscular man with buzzed hair bludgeoning a bleeding Max Payne in the head with various weapons, including a trash can, a steel chair bent in half, and a mirror. The ring is littered with a blood-stained mat, and various weapons, some even on fire.

“We became remorseless. . .” said Thomas, as he slugged Max Payne in the jaw with a beer can in the footage. The muscular man then pressed his foot onto Max’s neck, choking him.

“We became fearless. . .” said Ashley, as a long-haired brunette stared at herself in a bathroom mirror with scissors in hand. 

Footage played out of a wrestling match, featuring Ashley, a young woman with super-short brown hair performing the torture rack on Trish (from Devel May Cry), then hammering away at her face with thunderous right and left hands.

Back in the bathroom, long strands of brown hair floated to the floor.

“. . .we strengthened ourselves to our maximum ability. . .” continued Ashley, until more high-def wrestling footage played, showing the couple stomping a mudhole on a jobber, taking down a jobber with a double dropkick, and finally landing a double piledriver on another jobber.

“. . .and we conditioned our anger to be unleashed when necessary.” said Thomas, as he and Ashley stood in the center of the ring, now facing the camera side-by-side, looking into it with emotionless, cold eyes.

“It’s us against the world.” said Ashley.

“And the world will lose.” Thomas finished. “We are. . .your worst nightmare.”

Footage played of Ashley chokeslamming Trish in the center of the ring, before cutting to an extreme black and white close-up of her face, which stared into the camera with a stoic expression.

“I am Ashley Mesnard.”

Quick shots of Thomas holding up a bloodstained title belt, and slamming jobbers down to the mat, through tables, and onto weapons with a package piledriver are shown before cutting to an extreme black and white closeup of his face, which looked into the camera with the same emotionless expression.

“I am. . .Thomas Ambrose.”

The final shot of the video package shows Thomas and Ashley locked into an embrace in the center of the ring, looking into the camera menacingly as the video package faded out.

Alrighty, there’s part one! I thought I’d promote my OC’s in PCUW and UWE with that last video package, but to their owners: if it wasn’t a good idea, let me know and I’ll replace it with a different promo. As always, let me know if there are any character inconsistencies, and I’ll go in and fix them. Part two will come within a week at least, but in two weeks at most. In the meantime, RATE/REVIEW!!!


	23. XCW Endgame: Part 2

Sorry for the long wait. Between my 24th birthday, the return of football, and work on a feature length documentary, and as an assistant editor at an ad agency, life has needed me big time! But as of right now I have plenty of free time on my hands. 

Will Garfield retain the World title, and send a message to the whole fiction wrestling industry, or will Tai Kamiya set a standard for the rest of the XCW roster? Find out right now in part two of XCW Endgame! I only own my championships.

Back in the arena, Master Shake and Early Cuyler sat at their announcer’s table.

“Man, I’ll tell you one thing, I don’t want to cross those two in a back alley, much less in the ring!” Shake said.

“Neither do I, Shake!” Early said in agreement. And joining the co-founders of PCUW, and the current XCW Tag Team Champions, D-Generation Ed, right now, is our backstage announcer, Carl Brutanandilewski.

The show went to a hallway in the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood with a microphone in hand, between Ed and Edd.

“Ed, Double D, congratulations again on PCUW becoming number one in the ratings! What can we expect from your company in year two?” asked Carl.

“Well, Carl. . .” Edd answered, “. . .I’ll admit, the free agents we recently signed to PCUW are very talented, no question. But as the competition gets tough, we plan to get tougher---“

Ed suddenly pulled the microphone away from Edd and began to speak. “You will expect the same thing you’ll see from us in our match against South Park tonight!” Ed guaranteed. “And that is the best in tag team, brawling and straight up wrestling in this industry today! We will continue to be the greatest team of superstars in the history of this business, and if the South Park Four don’t like it, then we’ve got two words for ‘em!!!” Ed went to do the DX crotch chop to the camera but Edd shoved him out of frame.

“That’s great Ed! Let’s go back to training.” Edd hurriedly said, as the show went back to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Championship!!!”

"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine played as Sora Takenouchi ran onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, raising her hands above her head, and towards the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. From Odaiba, Japan. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

“It’s been a rollercoaster ride for Sora Takenouchi since XCW’s debut. She’s gone from becoming the first XCW Women’s Champion only to lose it one month later, and witness her husband receive a beating of his life.” Early said. “She would then see Tai Kamiya win the first-ever March Majesty tournament, only to then be on the receiving end of a vicious assault at the hands of Jon Arbuckle, Odie, and later, Garfield! But now she’s medically cleared, and ready to go, looking to be Women’s Champion for a second time here in XCW!”

Sora gave the crowd high fives as she ran down the ramp, and slid into the ring.

“Well, she shouldn’t be, if you ask me!” Shake said. “Nazz deserves a rematch for the title more than Sora deserves her shot; she’s most likely less than 100%! Nazz is ready to go, why isn’t she taking her place?”

Her ribs still heavily taped up, Sora climbed onto a turnbuckle and posed toward the fans until. . .

“Brackish” by Kittie played as Peach strutted down the ramp to a chorus of boos. As she walked, she motioned her hands over the Women's title belt around her waist and taunted the crowd.

“And her opponent. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .she is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women”s Champion. . .PEACH!!!”

“Sora earned her shot first, Shake! It’s only fair. That being said, I don’t blame Nazz for being angry, either! Peach resorted to dirty tactics in order to win the Women’s title from her two weeks ago on Monday Night Massacre.” reminded Early. “But tonight, the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom squares off against a determined Sora Takenouchi, who still has a bone to pick with the current champion after their first encounter a few months ago at Whiplash!”

Peach blew a kiss to the referee as she took off the Women's title belt. She then climbed to the top of a turnbuckle and blew another kiss toward the commentator's booth.

“And Peach will be picking Sora’s bones by the end of this match!” Shake declared. “Peach will take full advantage of her injury, and show her and all the women in the back that she won’t give up the Women’s Championship as easily as she did at March Majesty!”

The bell rang and the match began with Sora and Peach pacing around the ring, engaged in a staredown. Sora and Peach charged toward each other in the center of the ring, and got into a tie-up. . .only for Peach to land a kick to the midsection, causing Sora to yelp in pain instantly. Peach then lifted Sora up and took her down with a fireman’s carry! Sora clenched her ribs upon hitting the mat, until Peach landed a series of stomps to her chest. Sora winced from the pain as Peach went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! Peach pulled Sora up to her feet and went for another kick to the midsection but Sora kicked Peach’s leg out of the way before slapping her in the chest with numerous chops until she was backed up against the ropes. Sora then Irish whipped Peach against the ropes on the other side of the ring, then took her down with a Monkey Flip! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out!!!

Sora pulled Peach up to her feet only for Peach to surprise her with a thrust to the midsection. Sora winced in pain until Peach took her down with an Inside Cradle pin attempt, which saw Peach grabbing a handful of tights! 1. . .

“Peach is looking to steal one again!” Early cried, as the count reached 2. . .

. . .but Sora kicked out, and rose up to her knees, giving Peach a dirty look and shaking her head slowly.

“And Sora didn’t take kindly to another dirty tactic used by our current Women’s Champion!” said Early, as Sora abruptly stood back up and charged toward Peach, who immediately put her in a tie up and kneed her in the taped up midsection. Peach lifted Sora up for a powerbomb, but Sora dropped out of it and took Peach down with a neckbreaker! Sora went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out! Peach rolled up to her feet and got into a tie-up in the center of the ring with Sora, who put her into a headlock and took her down with a side headlock takedown! Sora wrenched on Peach’s neck until Peach stood up to her feet, with Sora’s headlock still in tact! Peach suddenly elbowed Sora in the chest, just above the injured ribs, then took her down with a clothesline! Peach went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! 

Sora and Peach got into another tie-up, with Sora putting Peach into a front face lock. Peach, however, would shove Sora up against the ropes behind her, and clock her with a clothesline that sent her toppling over the ropes and down to the ringside floor chest and face first! Peach ran against the ropes behind her while Sora clenched her abdomen as she rose up to her feet. . .

. . .only for Peach to nail Sora with a baseball slide that sent her body slamming into the barricade! Now down to her knees, Sora grasped her taped up ribs in pain as she pulled herself up to her feet. Peach however, would slide out of the ring, grab her by the arm and Irish whip her into the steel steps chest first!!! Sora cried in pain as she crumbled to the ringside floor, and the referee began the ten count! Peach would then pull Sora up by the hair and Irish whip her toward the Spanish announcer’s table, with Sora hitting them hard!!! Her face contorted into such physical pain, that she looked like she couldn’t stand it anymore. Peach then charged toward Sora for a bulldog but Sora nailed her in the face with an elbow out of desperation! Breathing heavily, Sora then turned around and pulled Peach up to her feet, and draped her arm over her shoulder. Sora then lifted Peach up for a suplex on the crumbled announcer’s table. . .

. . .but Peach countered it into a suplex of her own, sending Sora to land on her lower back on the concrete floor! She yelled in pain as Peach pulled her back up and slid her body into the ring under the bottom rope; Peach following her just as the referee’s count reached nine! Peach quickly went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SORA KICKED OUT!!! Peach couldn’t believe it!

“Sora’s taken all kinds of damage to the torso, but she still has plenty of life left in her!” said Early, as Peach stomped a mudhole onto Sora’s taped chest!

“This only angered the Women’s Champion even more!” Shake said, as Peach went for the cover again! 1. . .2. . .

. . .2.5 SORA KICKED OUT!!! Peach looked down at her, barely able to hold back frustration! Peach then grabbed Sora by the legs and went to lock her in the Boston Crab. . .but instead slingshot her into the turnbuckle behind her, causing Sora to hit the corner face-first! Sora stumbled out of the corner only for Peach to lift her and take her down with a powerslam!!! Peach again went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SORA KICKED OUT!!! Peach then stood up and profusely argued with the referee, while Sora pushed herself back up to her knees.

“Peach is in so much disbelief, she’s forcing the referee to believe the count was three!” Shake said, as Peach and the referee continued to argue. Peach eventually turned around and stood over Sora, who was pulling herself up to her feet with the ropes. Peach then threw Sora into the corner face first, then grabbed her by the hair and repeatedly rammed her face into the turnbuckle!!! After doing this five times, Peach raised Sora’s head up, and threw it toward the top corner again. . .

. . .but Sora caught the ropes in time, and quickly grabbed a hold of Peach’s head and rammed her face repeatedly into the corner!!!

“Wait a minute! Sora’s fighting back! Somehow, some way, Sora is fighting back!” called Early, as Sora turned Peach around and hit her with thunderous chops that backed Peach up to the corner! Sora then Irish whipped Peach right into the opposite corner, Peach hitting it HARD on impact. As Peach stumbled out of the corner, Sora caught her and took her down with a Powerslam! Sora went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .PEACH KICKED OUT!!! Sora then pulled Peach up to her feet, still selling her ribs. Sora then hit her with a series of chops that backed her up against the ring ropes. Sora then Irish whipped her across the ring. . .only for Peach to counter that with an Irish whip of her own! Sora bounced back, and evaded Peach by sliding under her through her legs. Before Peach could turn around, Sora took her down with a Reverse DDT!!! Sora went for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 PEACH KICKED OUT!!! Sora stood up from the cover and waited for Peach to sit up. Sora then landed a series of kicks to her sternum and back! Sora went for another pin attempt 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Peach kicked out!!! Sora sat up from the cover, visibly frustrated, as she pulled Peach up by the hair. . .only for Peach to shove Sora back toward the ropes. As Sora bounced back, though, she leapt onto the ropes and hit Peach with a Springboard Crossbody!!! Sora, however, rolled off Peach before she could make a cover, grasping her injured ribs from the impact.

“Sora’s been giving it to the current Women’s Champion, but she hurt herself in the process!” Early said, as both Sora and Peach were down on the mat, and the referee started the ten count!

“Sora’s pulling off a good comeback, but she may be on the end of her rope!” Shake said, as Sora and Peach slowly rose to their feet, staring each other down maliciously. 

Sora and Peach then got into a tie-up, with Peach putting Sora in a headlock. Sora, however, would elbow Peach in the abdomen repeatedly, forcing Peach to let go. Sora then put Peach in a front face lock and went for a suplex. . .but Peach dropped out of it, and went for a neckbreaker, only for Sora to counter it with a neckbreaker of her own!! Sora turned to face Peach, only to be immediately met with a dropkick to the ribs, which sent her reeling toward the corner. Peach then ran toward Sora and landed her with a splash in the corner! Sora then stumbled out of the corner. . .only for Peach to lift her up and take her down with a Gutbuster!!! Sora lay in agonizing pain as Peach crawled in for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 Sora kicked out!!! Clenching her abdomen, Sora struggled to her feet, and glared at Peach with a malicious expression. Peach hit Sora in the face with a slap, but Sora hit her back with a huge right hand!! They continued to trade slaps and punches, with the crowd booing in unison to Peach’s slaps, and cheering in unison with Sora’s right hands. They nailed each other with right hand after right hand until Peach surprised Sora with a left hand that knocked her back a bit. Peach then latched onto Sora’s back and lifted her up for a Back Drop. . .but Sora dropped out of it!! Sora quickly shoved Peach toward the ropes, and as she bounced back, Sora leapt up and took her down with a Soracanrana pin attempt!!! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 PEACH KICKED OUT!!! Sora pulled herself up with the ropes and ran toward Peach for a judo kick to the face. . .but Peach spun away from it!!! Peach then hit Sora right in the injured ribs with a throat thrust, then took her down with a Backbreaker!!! Peach went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 SORA KICKED OUT!!! Peach couldn’t believe it!!! 

“Peach has hit Sora in the ribs with everything but the kitchen sink!” Shake said. “How is Sora still in this thing???”

“Sora’s showing a lot of heart, Shake!” Early said, as Peach slid out of the ring with a furious look on her face! “Peach, meanwhile, is showing frustration, and wants to use the kitchen sink to put her away right now!”

Peach stomped toward the timekeeper’s booth and snatched the Women’s Championship belt from the timekeeper as the referee began the ten count. Peach, however, slid back in the ring and cocked the Women’s title belt back behind her head, as Sora was rising to her feet. The referee, however, came up to Peach with the intent to pull the belt from her grasp. . .

. . .BUT PEACH NAILED THE REFEREE IN THE FACE WITH THE TITLE BELT!!! The referee fell to the mat knocked out cold as Peach turned her attention onto Sora!!!

“MY GOD!!” Early cried. “Peach has absolutely lost it! She’ll do ANYTHING to keep the XCW Women’s Championship!!!”

“With a referee that weak, I’m not surprised!” Shake said, as Peach stared at Sora with the crazy eyes!! Still in pain, Sora turned around to face Peach, who immediately charged toward her with the belt. . .

. . .but Sora met her with a kick to the midsection!!! She then latched onto Peach’s waist and took her down with a German suplex!!! Sora pulled Peach back up to a standing position with the waist-lock still in tact, and took her down with another German suplex!!! The crowd on their feet, Sora pulled Peach back up with all the strength she had left. . .and took her down with one more German suplex!!!

“And Sora, injured ribs and all, may have the Champion finally defeated!!!” Early called as Sora rose to her feet, looking down at Peach, then to the still-unconscious referee. “But there’s still no referee!!” Sora then turned around and stepped toward a corner!!!

“Wait a minute. . .” Shake said. “What is Sora doing?” 

Sora climbed up to the top rope and sized Peach up!!!

“And Sora now looking to put the final dagger in Peach’s title reign with the Shooting Star Press!!!” Early said. 

“This is insane!!!” Shake cried. “She’ll hurt Peach, but hurt herself in the process!”

“That’s a risk she’s willing to take—“ Early said, until Sora leapt off the top rope for the Shooting Star Press. . . 

. . .BUT PEACH ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY, FORCING SORA TO LAND RIGHT ONTO THE WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP BELT!!!!! Sora cried in agonizing pain as Peach pulled herself up to the ring with the ropes to her left!

“PEACH THREW A DAMN WEAPON RIGHT INTO SORA’S PATH!” Early screamed as Peach stood over her challenger, grabbing her legs and dragging her to the center of the ring! 

“And this will be all she wrote!” Shake declared, as Peach locked Sora into a Boston Crab Submission Hold!!! Sora yelled in agonizing pain as the referee began to wake up!!!Peach pressed her knee up against Sora’s back, applying even more pressure to the injured ribs!

“Shades of her husband, Mario, the Women’s Champion is now inflicting more punishment onto her challenger and rival, no thanks to the use of her damn championship belt!” Early said, as the referee asked Sora if she wanted to quit. Sora vehemently shook her head no and crawled toward the bottom rope. . .

. . .but Peach pressed her knee up against Sora’s injured lower back, causing Sora to yell even more from all the pain!!! Sora inched closer to the ropes. . .

. . .extended her hand out, her fingertips mere centimeters away. . .

. . .but had to tap out!!! Peach, however, kept the submission hold locked in as the bell rang!!!

“And Peach, once again, steals the win, and the Women’s Championship!!!” Early said in disgust.

“The winner of this match. . .AND STILL THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WOMEN’S CHAMPION. . .PEACH!!!”

The referee ordered Peach to let go of the hold and she eventually did, leaving Sora prone on the mat. The referee shouted in the Champion’s face, but Peach ignored it, snatching the Women’s title belt from his hands and raising it above her head, taunting the fans with it.

“These two put on a wrestling clinic against each other, and you’ve got to give a lot of credit to the challenger, Sora!” Early declared. “She put on a hell of an effort with her injury!”

Peach continued to taunt the fans, unaware that Sora was slowly pulling herself up to her feet behind her, grasping her ribs.

“But even against an injured opponent, Peach had to resort to using a weapon to remain the XCW Women’s Champion! As far as I’m concerned, Sora proved to the fictional wrestling world that she can beat Peach one-on-one!” Early said.

“Oh, come on!” Shake said in dismissal. “If she could beat Peach, she would’ve done it here tonight! But what’s going on here?”

Peach turned around to see Sora standing behind her, completely incensed from all the pain and anger she felt. Sora and Peach got into a staredown in the center of the ring, each woman catching their breath. . .

. . .UNTIL SORA TOOK PEACH DOWN AND LOCKED HER IN THE CROSSFACE!!!

“Sora may not have won the match, but Peach disrespected her, and by God, she’ll disrespect her back!!!”

Sora kept the hold locked in as Peach screamed in agonizing pain!!! 

“My God! This is absolutely unnecessary!” Shake said. “Somebody pull her off Peach!” 

The referee ordered Sora to let go of the hold, but Sora only intensified the hold, seething with absolute fury as three more referees ran down the ramp and into the ring!

“Another level of pure hatred between these two has been reached!” Early said, as the three referees stood around the submission hold in the center of the ring, upon which, Sora let go of the hold and looked down at the Women’s Champion with a look of anger!

“It’s all on Sora’s end, if you ask me!” Shake declared. “She’s nothing but a sore loser!”

Sora left the ring, selling her ribs and back, and storming up the ramp, leaving the Women’s Champion face down in the center of the ring.

“Peach has disrespected her since the beginning of this company!” Early said. “And Peach just got what she deserves: a taste of what she’s given her, AND Nazz for that matter, during her two reigns as champion!”

The referees helped Peach up to her feet as she sold her neck. 

“The rivalry between Peach and Sora has reached a boiling point!” Early announced. “What will happen next between these two?”

Peach shook off what remained of the pain and put the Women’s title belt around her waist, leaving the ring in a huff as the show went to the backstage area. 

In a hallway, Carl Brutanandilewski stood with a microphone in hand next to Rolf, who had a bandage on his hand from being busted open earlier.

“Rolf. . .” Carl said, “. . .up next, D-Generation Ed defends their XCW Tag Team Championship against Stan and Cartman of the South Park Four, but earlier tonight, you won your first singles title in XCW, the Hardcore Championship! What does this victory mean to you?”

“Oh, Rolf is honored to have won this fine piece of broken and bloodstained jewelry!” Rolf said, pulling the Hardcore title belt up to his head. “It harkens back to the trophy Papa won back in the Old Country in a Fastest Chicken Plucking contest. But this not the point, no? The point is that Rolf will defend this Hardcore title proudly and honorably, anytime, any place---“

Suddenly, Kenny McCormick ran down the hallway adjacent to Rolf’s, leapt up, grabbed onto a doorway. . .

. . .AND NAILED ROLF WITH THE 303!!! Kenny muffled a ‘COME ON!’ to someone offscreen and went for a cover!

“Wait a minute! Kenny McCormick from out of nowhere!!” said Early, as a referee came into frame and made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ROLF KICKED OUT!!! Rolf shot up to his feet and began to brawl with Kenny in the hallway!

“It’s complete pandemonium back there between the Extremist of the South Park Four and the Son of a Shepherd!” declared Early.

“Now that there’s a Hardcore Champion, the 24/7 rule is back in effect!” Shake said. “What will these two do to each other???”

Kenny and Rolf continued to brawl down the hallway, until Kenny grabbed Rolf by the hair and slammed his head face-first into the wall, which ripped the bandage off Rolf’s forehead, and restarted the bleeding he suffered in the match earlier. Rolf then surprised Kenny with an elbow to the face, before Irish whipping him into a table on the other side of the hallway. With Kenny dazed, Rolf dashed down the hallway further and further away from the South Park Extremist. . .only for Kenny to shake his head back into reality and chase after the Son of a Shepherd! Kenny eventually came close to Rolf and lunged toward him, taking him down with a tackle, and stripping the Hardcore title belt from his arms. Kenny turned Rolf onto his back and hit him in the face with a flurry of punches. Rolf, however, would throw Kenny off him toward the opposite wall. Rolf stood up and pulled a fire extinguisher from the wall and wait for Kenny to get up. 

“Come on, you coat-wearing oaf!” Rolf screamed as Kenny stood up to his feet. Rolf charged toward him, aiming the extinguisher at his head. . .

. . .but Kenny grabbed onto Rolf’s arms before impact! Kenny then kneed Rolf in the chest, pulled the extinguisher from his grasp, and rammed it into Rolf’s chest! Kenny then grabbed Rolf by the hair and threw him into a wall! Rolf hit the wall hard before landing on a table up against it, and falling to the linoleum floor! Kenny went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 ROLF KICKED OUT!!! Kenny kicked Rolf in the gut in frustration!

“Kenny’s been on most of the offense in this ambush, but Rolf isn’t going down without a fight!” Early declared, as Kenny lifted Rolf up, only for the Hardcore Champion to shove him away. Kenny ran toward Rolf and put him in a tie-up before dragging him up a set of stairs. . .

. . .and onto the entranceway!!! The crowd roared in excitement as Kenny and Rolf traded punches on the stage. Eventually, Kenny took advantage with a surprise left hand. . .and threw Rolf back-first into the barricade on the right side of the stage!! A certain pink-hatted boy’s parents in the crowd looked on at the fight going on next to them. . .

“Ooh! Look, honey!” said the overzealous father, pointing at the brawl to their right. “The fight is coming towards us! I have to snap a photo to show everyone at work, and rub this in the Dinklebergs’ faces! They’ll be so jealous!”

The father pulled out his camera and took a photo of Kenny and Rolf, its flash irritating the Hardcore Champion, whose primal instincts had taken over him! Rolf nailed Kenny in the face with an elbow, until the Son of a Shepherd brought himself back to reality by taking Kenny down with a facebuster! Rolf then picked Kenny up by the coat and aimed him towards Timmy’s dad, who screamed like a little girl and ran down the walkway in front of him, only for Rolf to throw Kenny over the barricade, into the crowd, and right on top him!!! Still dazed, Kenny pushed himself up with the barricade. . .climbed on top of it. . .

. . .AND TOOK ROLF DOWN WITH A DIVING BULLDOG ON THE RAMP!!! Kenny went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 ROLF KICKED OUT!!! Kenny pulled Rolf up by the hair to his feet, only for Rolf to nail him in the face with a headbutt! Rolf then hit The Extremist with a kick to the midsection, then leapt up for a Tornado DDT. . .

. . .but Kenny shoved Rolf off him, and back onto the ramp! Rolf sold his back in pain as Kenny pulled Rolf back up and Irish whipped him all the way down the ramp, toward the ring! Kenny ran after Rolf, who was going to hit the ring apron. . .

. . .but Rolf leapt onto the ring apron and took Kenny down with a Flying Crossbody! Rolf then made his way up the ramp again, until. . .

. . . "Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played!!!

“Now what???” Shake exclaimed, as green pyro went off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Suddenly, running down the ramp with his own referee came. . .

“LUIGI!!!” Early yelled. “Earlier we saw Mario return to XCW, and sure enough, with him comes his brother, and former Television Champion. . .Luigi!”

Rolf charged toward Luigi and they began to brawl on the ramp, until Luigi grabbed Rolf by the hair and threw him back down the ramp toward the ring. By this point, Kenny had staggered back up in time to catch Rolf and with Rolf’s momentum, slide him into the ring under the bottom rope. Kenny went to look under the ring for weapons, only for Luigi to grab Kenny by the coat and go for a right hand, but Kenny caught it in time, and nailed him in the face with a headbutt! Kenny then leapt up and took Luigi down with a Tornado DDT on the concrete floor! Kenny then reached back under the ring and from it, threw a steel chair, a trash can, a table, and a cookie sheet into the ring. Kenny then picked up the steel chair and sized Rolf up, as he struggled to get up to his feet. 

“The Extremist looking to be the first to bring XCW gold to his team tonight!” Early exclaimed, as Rolf turned around. . .

. . .and was hit right between the eyes with the steel chair!!! Kenny stood over Rolf, and stepped toward him for a cover. . .

. . .but he walked toward the table to his right! Kenny set up the table in the center of the ring, and pulled Rolf’s prone body onto the table. Kenny then walked toward a corner, and climbed up the top rope!!!

“Kenny McCormick looking to finally put Rolf away!!!” screamed Early, as Kenny leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .but Rolf slipped off the table. . .

. . .ONLY FOR KENNY TO LAND HIM WITH A HURRICANRANA THAT SENT HIM BETWEEN THE TOP AND MIDDLE ROPES!!! Kenny then ran toward the ropes in front of him. . .latched onto them. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE 303!!! Kenny then leapt onto the top rope. . .

. . .AND LANDED A SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT ONTO ROLF!!! Kenny went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

The bell rang and the referee raised Kenny’s arm in victory!

“The winner of this match. . .AND NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING---“

Before Plankton could finish the announcement, however, Luigi entered the ring and whacked Kenny across the back with a cookie sheet! Selling his back in pain, Kenny turned around to face his new adversary. . .only for Luigi to hit Kenny square in the face with the cookie sheet! Luigi then proceeded to stomp a vicious mudhole onto Kenny’s chest!!! 

“The other Mario Brother is just laying out the new Hardcore Champion!” Early observed, as Luigi pulled Kenny up by his hood and Irish whipped Kenny toward the ropes, then took him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex!!! Luigi stood up and raised a peace sign toward the crowd, who gave him a mixed reaction. Luigi then reached into his pocket, and pulled out. . .

. . .a flower?

“What the hell is Luigi gonna do with that flower?” Early asked. “Is Kenny allergic to it, or something?”

“Wait a minute. . .” Shake said, as Luigi stood in front of the table in the center of the ring. “. . .THAT’S NO ORDINARY FLOWER!!!”

Then with the flower, Luigi threw a green fireball. . .

. . .AND SET THE TABLE ON FIRE!!!

“BY GOD!!!” screamed Early at the sight, while Luigi turned around to face Kenny, who was pulling himself up to his feet with the ropes. Luigi looked at him with a sadistic smile on his face as Kenny turned around, only for the tall plumber to kick him in the midsection. . .

“NO!! LUIGI!!! NO!!!”

He turned around, raised Kenny up. . .

“NOOOOOO!!!!”

. . .AND POWERBOMBED HIM THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!!! Kenny’s body writhed and quivered from the burns!!!!

“OH MY GOOOODDD!!! HE’S ON FIRE!!!” Early yelled, as Luigi looked down satisfied at Kenny’s limp and burnt body, going for a cover! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Luigi stood up and raised his arms above his head triumphantly as the bell rang!

“The winner of this match. . .AND NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .LUIGI!!!”

The referee raised Luigi’s arm in victory before handing him the Hardcore Championship belt.

“The Mario Brothers are back in full force!” declared Early, as Luigi climbed onto a corner turnbuckle and raised up the Hardcore title belt and a peace sign toward the crowd. “First, Mario regained his ground by becoming the number one contender for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .”

“. . .and just weeks after losing the Television Championship, Luigi made a statement with his return by becoming the new XCW Hardcore Champion!!!” Shake said as Kenny continued to lie motionless in the center of the ring, as the show went to the backstage area.

In their locker room, Stan, Kyle and Eric Cartman sat on a couch watching the events in the ring unfold, with the TV still on the image of Kenny’s burnt and limp body. Stan and Kyle looked at the television in disbelief.

“Oh my God!” Stan exclaimed. “He killed Kenny!”

“You bastard!” Kyle yelled angrily at the TV. “I can’t believe those damn Mario Brothers are back to take over. . .AGAIN!!!” Eric Cartman just looked on, with a bag of Cheesy Poofs in one hand, the other hand laced in the orange covering of his favorite cheesy snack.

“Eh, he’ll be back tomorrow, guys, let’s not lose our focus on the Eds.” Cartman said before shoveling another handful of Cheesy Poofs into his mouth.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Cartman’s right, Kyle.” Stan said. “Let’s not think about the Mario Brothers right now. Instead, let’s go out there right now. . .and win the tag team titles for Kenny! And when he comes back tomorrow, we’ll celebrate our title win, and our vengeance!”

“Well, I’m coming out there with you two!” Kyle asserted. “I want to destroy something, and right now, there’s no one better than one or both of the Eds!”

“Well, alright, Kyle. But don’t get us disqualified.” Cartman warned. “Because if you do, I will kill you.”

Stan and Cartman left the locker room, with Kyle walking right behind them.

Back in the arena, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following tag team contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Championship!!!”

“What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played, as Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman walked onto the stage with Kyle Broflovski right behind them saluting the crowd, who gave them a mixed reaction.

“Introducing first. . .the challengers! First, representing the South Park Four. . .being accompanied to the ring by Kyle Broflovski. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .the team of THE ENFORCER, ERIC CARTMAN, AND THE LEADER, STAN MARSH!!!”

“The South Park Four arrived on the XCW scene earlier this month, and made a quick impact! But in recent weeks, the long rivalry between this group of wrestlers and the current XCW Tag Team champions, has became personal!” informed Early, as Stan, Kyle and Cartman ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles.

“There has always been tension between these two teams, but they re-escalated when the South Park Four made fun of the Eds for PCUW getting cancelled!” Shake said. “And since then, the South Park Four have beaten Rolf senseless twice now, if you include that recent ambush by Kenny. They’ve sent the message loud and clear that they are here to reclaim what’s theirs: the Tag Team Championship!”

Stan and Cartman looked down the ramp in anticipation until all of the lights went off in the arena.   
Suddenly. . .the following words came from the titantron.

"ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Ed, Edd, and Nazz jumped onto the stage from below it, their tag title belts in hand. Raising the title belts above their heads toward the fans, Ed and Edd strode down the ramp with Nazz right behind them.

"And their opponents. . .being accompanied to the ring by Nazz. . .from Peach Creek. . .they are the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .Ed and Double D. . .D-GENERATION-ED!"

Ed and Edd slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, raising their title belts above their heads toward the fans.

"However, don’t count D-Generation Ed out, Shake!” Early said. “These two have developed a chip on their shoulder, and we saw that chip come into full view this past Monday night on Monday Night Massacre! It was D-Ed vs. Kenny McCormick, Kevin and Peach in an intergender six-man tag team match, and after D-Ed picked up the victory, Kenny was the victim of the Clothesline From The Old Country as well as not one, but TWO Eledrifiers!”

“D-Ed sent the message right back to the South Park Four last week, and that Monobrowed Monster and former PCUW World Champion Ed has been like a house of fire since the South Park Four insulted them on The Ed Factor just weeks ago!” Shake said, as Ed, Edd and Nazz met in the center of the ring.

They were going to do the DX Crotch chop together. . .but Stan and Cartman jumped the Eds from behind, while Nazz quickly slid out of the ring! 

“But Stan and Cartman don’t want to waste any more time! A twelve-year long rivalry is being renewed right here, right now, with the XCW Tag Team Championships on the line!” Early declared as the lights went up while Stan and Cartman stomped mudholes into Edd and Ed, respectively! The referee, however, came up to them and ordered each team to back up into their respective corners. As Stan and Cartman made it to their corner, however, Ed rose up to his feet and charged toward them, taking them both down to the ringside floor with vicious clotheslines! Ed left the ring over the second rope but the referee ordered him back to his corner, threatening to disqualify him. Ed reluctantly re-entered the ring and stepped to his corner, his eyes locked onto an angry stare at Cartman and Stan. Ed and Edd talked in their corner while Cartman and Stan climbed back up to the ring apron. Ed stepped onto the ring apron while Stan entered the ring, as the bell rang and the match began with Edd facing off with Stan. Edd and Stan charged toward each other and got into a tie-up in the center of the ring, with Edd putting Stan in a side headlock. Stan, however, pushed Edd toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, shoved Edd off of him, and as Edd bounced back, Stan hit Edd with a huge elbow to the face! Stan went for the cover 1. . .Edd kicked out! 

Stan pulled Edd up to his feet and hit him with a punch combination, following it up with a throat thrust. Stan then Irish whipped Edd toward the ropes and took him down with a kick to the gut! Stan went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Edd kicked out!!! Stan then lifted Edd up and picked him up for a Scoop Slam, only for Edd to drop out of it and kicked Stan right in the back! Edd then ran against the ropes and took down The Leader with a clothesline! Edd went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!!! Edd then lifted Stan up to his feet and hit him with an elbow to the face of his own, then a series of chops. Edd then Irish whipped Stan against the ropes, and after the bounceback, Edd took Stan down with a spinning wheel kick! Edd went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!!! Edd then pulled Stan up by the jacket and threw him into his corner, then tagged in Ed!

“And here comes The Monobrowed Monster!!” Early exclaimed as the Tag Team Champions stomped a mudhole onto Stan in the corner. Ed then pulled Stan up to his feet and took him down with a huge belly-to-belly suplex! Stan sold his lower back in pain until Ed stood over him and pulled him up to his feet, only to throw him across the ring like a sandbag!!! 

“The former World Champion giving it to his longtime rival!” declared Early as Ed pulled The Leader up again, only to hit him in the chest with a throat thrust and then a quick headbutt!! Ed then Irish whipped Stan hard into the opposite corner! As Stan hit his own corner, Cartman made the blind tag in! Ed caught Stan and lifted him up into a fireman’s carry position, only for Stan to drop out of it and shove the Lumpy Leader toward Eric, who landed onto him with a Lou Thesz Press!!! Cartman then hammered away on Ed’s face with thunderous right and left hands!!! Cartman then ran against the ropes behind him and nailed Ed in the face with a falling elbow! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ed kicked out!!!

Ed quickly rose up to his feet and put Cartman in a front face lock. Ed lifted him up for a Powerbomb, only for Cartman to drop out of it, grab Ed’s arm, and Irish whip him toward the ropes. Cartman then charged toward Ed and nailed him with a Clothesline that sent him toppling over the ropes and onto the ring apron. Cartman then leapt up and hung Ed’s face against the ropes, sending him off the ring apron and down to the ringside floor! Cartman then climbed out of the ring over the second rope, and took Ed back down with a flying clothesline from the ring apron!!! Cartman quickly rose up to his feet as the referee began the ten count! Cartman hit Ed with a series of kicks to his sternum as he struggled up to his knees. The referee’s count reached two by this point.

“Have you ever seen Ed this vulnerable before, Shake?” Early asked.

“I haven’t, Early!” answered Shake. For someone that’s big-boned, Cartman is giving Ed quite a beating!” 

Cartman then put Ed in a headlock and brought him to a standing position. . .only for Ed to land elbows to Cartman’s gut, and break the hold! Ed then shoved Cartman, sending him HARD into the ring apron! Selling his back, Cartman stumbled back toward the Monobrowed Monster. . .only to be picked up by Ed, who raised him high above his head!

“But look at the strength of D-Ed’s muscle!” Early commented as Ed threw Cartman back into the ring, as the referee’s count reached six! Ed then slid back into the ring and went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Cartman kicked out!!! Ed then grabbed Cartman by his coat and threw him into D-Ed’s corner before tagging in The Sockhead, Edd, who leapt over the ropes and nailed Cartman with a kick to the jaw! Edd then went to take Cartman down with a bulldog out of the corner. . .only for Cartman to shove Edd toward the South Park Four’s corner, upon which Stan took Edd down with a vicious right hand! Edd stumbled up to his feet. . .only for Cartman to catch him and take him down with a Spinebuster! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Edd kicked out!!! 

Cartman pulled Edd up to his knees and tagged in Stan. Stan and Cartman then took down Sockhead with a double suplex! Stan went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Edd kicked out again! Frustrated, Stan grabbed Edd by the legs and went to lock him in the Sharpshooter. . .only for Ed to run into the ring and take down Stan with an Atomic Drop! Cartman then ran into the ring towards Ed, who took him down with a Big Boot! The referee then got into Ed’s face and ordered him back to his corner. Meanwhile, when the referee wasn’t looking, Kyle pulled Edd out of the ring by the leg and quickly threw Edd face-first into the ring post!!!

“And the South Park Four take advantage while the referee’s busy with Ed!” Early commented, as Kyle threw Edd back into the ring before the referee turned around. Stan went for the cover. . .

. . .but Nazz jumped onto the ring apron and distracted the referee!!! Stan stood up from the cover and stepped toward the referee. . .only for Edd to take him down with a School Boy pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .STAN KICKED OUT!!! Edd pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes while Stan rolled toward his corner and tagged in Cartman. Sockhead and Cartman met in the center of the ring and began to trade right hands. Meanwhile, Nazz and Kyle stormed toward each other and got into a shouting match at ringside!!! The referee turned to face them and threatened to eject them both! Meanwhile, Edd and Cartman continued to brawl. . .until Edd blocked one of Cartman’s right hands and surprised him with an elbow to the face! Edd then Irish whipped Cartman toward the ropes, only for Cartman to counter it into an Irish whip of his own! Cartman went for a clothesline but Edd ran under it, bounced off the ropes on the other side of the ring and took down the Big-Boned Boy with Flying Headscissors! With the referee now turned back towards the action in the ring, Edd went for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CARTMAN KICKED OUT!!! Edd rolled off Cartman and crawled toward Ed for a tag, while Cartman did the same toward Stan! 

“The leaders of these teams are eager to get back into this match!!” Early declared. “Who will make the tag first???”

Ed and Stan slapped their hands against the top corners in front of them as their partners crawled closer toward them. Edd and Cartman extended their hands out. . .

. . .reached for their partners hands. . .

. . .and successfully made the tags, with Ed getting tagged in just a second before Stan!!! Ed and Stan ran towards each other and met in the center of the ring, with Ed taking down Stan with a clothesline! Ed taunted for Stan to get up, and took him down with another clothesline!! Ed taunted for Stan to get up again, and took him down with a huge Samoan Drop!!! Ed went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 STAN KICKED OUT!!! Ed couldn’t believe it!!! He looked down at The Leader with his monobrow furrowed, waiting for him to get up. . .unaware that Cartman was running toward him! However, Edd leapt off the top rope and took down Cartman with a Diving Hurricanrana!!! 

“Edd coming in to make the save for his fellow tag team champion!” Early exclaimed, as Cartman rolled out of the ring. Ed then turned back to face Stan and picked him up for an Eledrifier. . .

. . .but Stan dropped out of it, swept Ed’s legs out from under him. . .AND LOCKED HIM INTO THE SHARPSHOOTER!!! 

“THE LEADER OF SOUTH PARK DROPPING OUT OF THE ELEDRIFER, AND LOCKING ED INTO THE SHARPSHOOTER!!! He may have him here!” Early cried as Ed screamed in agonizing pain!!! The referee asked him if he wanted to quit, but Ed shook his head no and used his strength to crawl toward the ropes!!! Ed extended his arm out. . .

. . .brushed the bottom rope with his hand. . .

. . .but Stan pulled Ed toward the center of the ring!!! Ed yelled from all the damage to his lower back. . .while Edd slid back into the ring! Stan screamed “TAP OUT!!” while Edd ran up to the top rope. . .

“Stan’s got Ed trapped in the center of the ring!” Shake cried. “How close are we to having new tag team champ---“

. . .AND BROKE UP THE SUBMISSION HOLD WITH THE WHISPER IN THE WIND!!! 

“THE SOCKHEAD DOUBLE D MAKING THE SAVE FOR HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER!!!” Early screamed as Ed crawled on top of Stan for the cover!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 STAN KICKED OUT!!! Ed rolled off of him and slowly rose to his feet, still selling his back from the Sharpshooter. Ed taunted for Stan to get up while staggering toward his corner, where Edd stood perched on the top rope! Ed tagged in Double D. . .

. . .WHO LEAPT OFF AND LANDED A DIVING EDSAULT ONTO STAN!!! EDD WENT FOR THE COVER 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 CARTMAN PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!!! 

“CARTMAN MAKING THE SAVE FOR HIS TEAM, AND CREATING ABSOLUTE CHAOS IN THE PROCESS!!!” Early screamed, as Edd pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes, while Stan was slow to get up to his knees. Meanwhile, Cartman looked under the ring and pulled out a steel chair!!! He slid it into the ring and went to slide under the bottom rope. . .

. . .but Nazz grabbed onto the Big Boy’s leg!!! Cartman slid back out to the ringside area and stared Nazz down angrily, coming face-to-face with her.

“Cartman’s fed a kid his own parents, and pretended to be a disabled child. . .who knows what evil thoughts could be running through his mind right now???” Shake exclaimed! Cartman grabbed Nazz by the hair. . .

. . .until Ed ran onto the ringside floor and took Cartman down with a massive clothesline!!! 

“And Ed making the save for his friend and manager!!!” Early yelled, before Ed pulled Cartman up to his feet. . . sat him into a standing fireman’s carry position. . .

“ED’S GOT THE CRAZY EYES!!!” Early screamed! “HE’S GONNA TAKE HIS RIVAL OUT OF THE EQUATION!!!” 

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE ELEDRIFIER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!! Meanwhile, in the ring, Edd kicked Stan in the midsection and went for a Twist Of Ed (Twist of Fate). . .

. . .but Stan shoved Edd toward the ropes, picking up the chair as Edd bounced back!!! Edd came back toward Stan. . .

. . .AND WAS HIT RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE CHAIR!!! Meanwhile, on the outside, Ed stood back up and went to enter the ring, scowling at Stan. . .

. . .UNTIL KYLE FROM OUT OF NOWHERE TOOK ED DOWN WITH A SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!! Kyle then pulled the referee up by the shirt and threw him back into the ring under the bottom rope, with Stan kicking the chair out of the ring and going for a cover!!!

“THE REFEREE DIDN’T SEE A DAMN THING!! STAN’S GOT THE COVER!!” 

Nazz ran toward the ring to break up the count. . .but Kyle held Nazz back in a Full Nelson Lock! The referee made the count 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!!!

“IT’S OVER!!! WE’VE GOT NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!” Early cried, as Stan rolled off Edd, looking up at the lights above him with a smile on his face while the bell rang!!

“The winners of this match. . .AND NEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. . .THE ENFORCER, ERIC CARTMAN, AND STAN MARSH. . .OF THE SOUTH PARK FOUR!!!”

“THE BAD BOYS OF COMEDY CENTRAL LIVED UP TO THEIR NAME HERE TONIGHT!!!” Early yelled. “These two men along with Kyle had to gang up on the Eds to get the victory and the XCW Tag Team Championship!”

As Edd rolled out of the ring, Kyle let go of Nazz and pulled Cartman up to his feet at ringside before they entered the ring, Cartman selling his back in pain as the referee handed him and Stan the Tag title belts, and raised their arms in celebration as the crowd gave them a mixed reaction, with more boos than cheers! 

“Despite how they went about it, these guys can put this win, along with their accomplishments in UCW, CWF, WWT on their resume!!” Shake said. “But like Peach and Sora, this heated and storied rivalry may be far from over!”

Stan, Kyle and Cartman posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising their title belts high as Nazz helped Ed get up. 

“You’ve got to wonder, though, how will D-Generation Ed retaliate?” Early wondered as Edd stumbled toward an angry Nazz and Ed. They all looked up at the new Tag Team Champions until the show went to the backstage area.

In a parking lot, Mario, Luigi and Peach were running toward a line of go-karts until Carl Brutanandilewski caught up to them with a microphone in hand.

“Excuse me, Mario!” Carl said, catching the Mario Brothers’ attention. “If I may ask, what brought you back to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, and what did you do while you and Luigi do while you were away?”

“All will be explained tomorrow, Carl!” Mario answered. “Now if you’ll excuse me---”

“But why are you leaving?” asked Carl. “The World Heavyweight Championship match is up next! Are you sure you don’t want to know who you’ll be facing for the World title in the foreseeable future?”

Mario stepped next to Carl and began to speak into the microphone.

“I’m-a not leaving!” Mario answered. “I’m making sure my wife and brother get back to the hotel safely! Peach is still recovering from her match, and Luigi holds a title that he has to defend all day, every day! But mark my words, whoever comes out of that match tonight with the World title by the end of the night, better enjoy his reign while it lasts, because after we fight for my Holy Grail, my opponent will look up and see that the XCW World Heavyweight Champion is-a ME. . .MARIO!!!”

Back in the arena, spotlights swirled around the ring and the crowd, who were watching the titantron.

“Mario explains all tomorrow night on Monday Night Massacre!” announced Shake. “What will he have to say about his absence, return and more?”

“That’s a question on everyone’s mind, Shake!” Early answered. “And I, along with these fans, am eager to find out the answer.”

Suddenly. . .

. . .”This Fire Burns” by Killswitch Engage played, sending the crowd into a frenzy of cheers!!! 

“But right now, Shake, it is time. . .for our main event.”

Tai walked onto the stage with a scowl on his face, focusing only on the ring.

“Since winning the March Majesty Tournament last month, Tai Kamiya has been put through a lot of turmoil at the hands of his opponent tonight, and our interim commissioner, Jon Arbuckle.” Early informed.

The crowd cheered as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles toward the fans.

“Tai Kamiya is normally a happy-go-lucky guy. . .” Shake said. “. . .but when you hurt his loved ones, and try to kick him while he’s down, he becomes an entirely different person!”

“And we’re about to find out if that beast is enough to conquer the behemoth that is our World Heavyweight Champion!”

Tai looked down the ramp, scowling in his state of intensity as. . .

. . .”Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played!!! Garfield stomped down the ramp with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship draped over his shoulder, and an incensed, focused look on his face.

“This man has established himself as one of the most dominant forces in the history of fiction wrestling!” Early said. “There’s no doubt that wherever Garfield goes, carnage follows, and when he leaves a given area, bodies will lie strewn from the destruction he has wrought!”

“And there’s more destruction to follow in this No-Disqualification match!” Shake said, as Garfield stepped over all three ropes and glared around the arena with a look of anger, raising the World Heavyweight title belt high above his head before handing it to the referee.

“The rivalry has reached a boiling point for these two men for the entire month of April.” Early informed. “Garfield hates Tai because he stuck his nose where it didn’t belong, making him less of a man. Tai hates Garfield for all the pain he’s put this locker room, and his wife through since XCW’s inception! All that comes to a head and more tonight, with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line!”

Tai and Garfield stood in opposite corners engaged in a staredown as the bell rang, and Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .the following contest is a No-Disqualification Match scheduled for one fall. . .it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event of the evening. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

The crowd erupted into cheers before Plankton continued with the announcement.

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. From Odaiba, Japan. . .he is the 2012 XCW Majesty of March. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

The crowd exploded into cheers as Tai continued staring down his adversary with a stoic expression. 

“And his opponent. . .”

The crowd erupted into boos as Garfield stood in the opposite corner with the same expression.

“. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .GARFIELD!!!”

The referee raised the World title belt above his head in the center of the ring while Plankton exited the ring. Suddenly the bell rang and the match began, with Tai charging toward Garfield like a house of fire and dropkicking him in the legs, taking him down to his knees!

“And Tai Kamiya not looking to waste any more time as we begin this No-Disqualification matchup for the richest prize in this company!” exclaimed Early, as Tai hit Garfield in the chest and head with a flurry of punches and kicks! Garfield, however, would come to and push Tai back down to the mat like a rag doll! Tai, however, would get right back up and repeatedly hit Garfield with a series of chops, backing him up against the ropes, but Garfield again took him down, this time with a huge headbutt! Tai rose up to his knees immediately, only for Garfield to immediately take him down with a kick to the midsection! Garfield went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Garfield…pulled Tai’s shoulders up?

“Garfield’s not just looking to win this match, he’s looking to punish his adversary!” Early said, as Garfield pulled Tai up to his feet. The World Champion put Tai in a headlock. . .only for Tai to hit Garfield in the chest with a series of elbows! Tai then spun around behind Garfield and swept his legs out from under him. Tai then slid to the ringside area and pulled Garfield out of the ring to the floor with all his might! Tai then Irish whipped Garfield toward the steel steps, only for Garfield to counter it into an Irish whip of his own, sending Tai to collide into the steps with a sickening thud! Garfield then stood over Tai and pulled him up to a standing position by the hair. Garfield then grabbed Tai by the throat, drug him forward a bit, then threw him over the Spanish announcer’s table, and right into the barricade behind it!

“Tai showing a lot of tenacity early on in this match up, but there’s the power of the World Heavyweight Champion!” Early said. “Tossing his opponent around like a bag of paint!”

Garfield stomped over to Tai who lay in between both Spanish commentators folded up like an accordion. Garfield pulled him up by the hair and draped his arm over his shoulder. Garfield lifted him up for a forward suplex through the table. . .but Tai fought out of it with right hands to Garfield’s face! Tai landed onto the table and tackled Garfield back, ramming him back first into the ring apron! Garfield winced in pain a bit only for Tai to grab Garfield’s leg and whip it right into the steel steps next to him! Tai went to do it again. . .only for Garfield grab Tai by the throat with both hands and take him down to the concrete floor with a headbutt! Garfield then stomped onto Tai’s chest and pressed his foot down hard onto his abdomen! Tai screamed and wheezed for air as the World Champion looked down at him with a sadistic smile!

“Garfield is looking to squeeze the life out of Tai!” Shake observed. “And he’s well on his way to doing just that!”

Garfield then stepped off Tai and pulled him back up to his feet before throwing him chest-first into the Spanish announcer’s table. As the commentators stood up and moved away from the table, Garfield grabbed Tai by the sides and lifted him up high above his shoulders in a Military Press. . .but Tai dropped out of it behind the giant cat and took Garfield down with a chop block! Tai then stormed around the table and grabbed a steel chair as Garfield pushed himself back up with the help of the announce table. . .only for Tai to take him back down with a chair shot to the legs!

“The Majesty of March looking to take down the big man methodically! Starting with the legs!” Early said, as Tai continued to hit Garfield in the right leg with the steel chair. He raised the chair again above his head. . .

. . .but with his left leg, Garfield hit Tai with a Big Boot, knocking the chair right into Tai’s face!!!

“OOOOH!!!” cringed Shake as Garfield stood back up, shaking the pain off his right leg. “His brains have been scrambled!”

Garfield kicked the chair off of Tai’s prone body, and pulled him up to his feet before Irish whipping him hard against the barricade, Tai wincing upon impact. Garfield then turned around and stared him down angrily. Roaring the whole way, Garfield charged toward Tai, who rolled out of the way. . .

. . .AND SENT GARFIELD CRASHING THROUGH THE BARRICADE AND INTO THE CROWD!!! 

“MY GOD!” Shake screamed. “He could’ve crushed the fans in front row!!”

The fans looked down at the World Heavyweight Champion at their feet screaming “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” and “X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!” Tai then stood at the feet of his adversary and applied an Indian Deathlock to Garfield’s legs! Garfield roared in agonizing pain as the referee yelled for them both to get back in the ring!

“Tai resorting to speed and submission techniques in order to tame the beast that is the World Heavyweight Champion!” Early said as Tai intensified the hold. . .until Garfield wrapped his arm around Tai’s neck, putting him in a headlock and breaking the hold!

“But Garfield now, using the strength and power that Tai doesn’t have!” Shake exclaimed, as Garfield pulled Tai up to his feet, and threw him deeper into the crowd! Garfield then ran toward the Majesty of March and took him down with a clothesline! Garfield then pulled Tai up again and went for another clothesline, but Tai blocked it and hit the World Champion in the chest with a furious chop! Tai and Garfield continued to brawl through the crowd as they made their way toward the stage, with Garfield slugging Tai in the midsection with a Throat Thrust, then launching him down a walkway, with Tai landing chest and face-first!!! Garfield then stood over Tai, who was in a crumbled heap. Garfield pulled up Tai by the hair and held him high above his shoulders for a Military Press. . .

. . .AND LAUNCHED HIM OVER THE BARRICADE, ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE STAGE!!! Tai grasped his left shoulder upon impact, wincing in pain as Garfield climbed over the barricade, and stepped toward his opponent. Garfield then grabbed Tai by the left arm, causing Tai to scream in more pain as he was pulled up to his feet. Garfield then took Tai down with a Belly-to-Belly suplex, sending Tai even closer to the stage! Garfield then stood behind Tai, who was slow to stand up. Garfield then threw Tai ribs-first into the stage, then rammed an elbow into his face, slamming it against the stage floor! Garfield then pushed Tai onto the stage, forcing him to lay on it face-up. Garfield soon followed, then grabbed Tai by the throat, and pulled him up to a standing position!

“The World Heavyweight Champion having his way with Tai Kamiya up there on the entranceway!” Early exclaimed as Garfield walked toward the edge of the stage, his hand still firmly grasping Tai’s throat!

“And there’s nothing the referee can do about it!” added Shake. “There’s no disqualification!”

Garfield then reached the edge of the stage, pointing right at a spotlight in front of him as the crowd booed!

“Wait a minute. . .what the hell is Garfield doing???” Shake said.

“NO!!! NO, GARFIELD, DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT! YOU’LL KILL HIM!!” screamed Early, as Garfield looked at Tai in his grasp with an intense stare as he lifted him up by the throat. . .

. . .until Tai kneed him square in the face, knocking the Champion back a bit, and forcing him to release his grasp! Tai fell to the stage, on his feet, stopping to catch his breath upon impact. Garfield charged toward Tai once again, only for the challenger to kick him hard in the abdomen, and slap him in the chest with an intense chop!!! Garfield winced in pain as Tai continued hitting him in the chest with furious chop after chop. . .until the fat cat was backed up to the edge of the stage!

“THE BIG MAN IS REELING!” cried Early, as Tai leapt up. . .

. . .AND DROPKICKED GARFIELD OFF THE STAGE!!! Garfield crashed to the floor below, cringing and selling his shoulder and head, now busted open from the impact!

“BAH GAWD!” Early screamed. “THE CHALLENGER JUST SENT GARFIELD FALLING ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!” 

“I think I felt the ground shake!” exclaimed Shake, as Tai looked down at his adversary, who struggled to pull himself up to his knees. 

“And Tai doesn’t look done yet! He has to put the final dagger into the Champion’s back!” said Early, as Tai stared down Garfield. . .

. . .AND LEAPT OFF THE STAGE, TAKING GARFIELD DOWN WITH A LEG LARIAT!!! Tai and Garfield were down on the concrete floor as the crowd chanted “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” to deafening levels!!

“THE CHALLENGER IS DOWN! GARFIELD IS DOWN!!! Who’s gonna win the World Heavyweight Championship in this battle between bitter rivals???” yelled Early from the excitement. Garfield and Tai slowly rose to their feet, Tai pushing himself up with the barricade to his left, with Garfield standing up next to him, selling his lower back. Garfield and Tai turn to face each other, both of them grimacing from the bumps they’ve taken. Tai got up to his feet first and stomped on Garfield’s lower legs, Garfield grimacing in pain as he rolled onto his back. . .and with a free leg, kicked Tai’s legs out from under him in desperation! Tai faltered a bit but pushed himself up with the stage and charged toward the Champion. . .

. . .ONLY FOR GARFIELD TO CATCH HIM AND LET HIM FREE FALL FACE-FIRST ONTO THE STAGE!!! Tai yelped in agonizing pain on impact, selling his jaw and rolling onto his back. Garfield climbed onto the stage and pulled himself up to his feet, picking up Tai by the hair with a massive hand. Garfield slugged Tai in the face with an uppercut, knocking him back down as the crowd booed at the Champion. Garfield then grabbed Tai’s right foot, raised it high above the stage. . .and rammed it back down with a Knee Smash!!! Tai clenched his knee, rolling a bit down the ramp from the pain! Garfield caught back up to him, though, and grabbed his legs, raising him up and spinning him around for a Big Swing!!! Garfield continued to spin him around, until after five spins, upon which he let Tai go. . .

. . .AND SENT TAI FLYING ALL THE WAY TO THE RING APRON!!! Tai collided into the side of the ring with a sickening crash! Tai sold his lower back as Garfield stepped towards him, smirking in satisfaction. Garfield came to Tai’s prone body and nailed him with a kick to the back, knocking him out of the way. The fat cat then grabbed the floor covering the concrete, and ripped a portion off, exposing the concrete!

“And the World Heavyweight Champion looking to do what he did to Space Ghost just a few months ago!” Shake said, as Garfield pulled Tai up by the hair, slugging him in the face with a right hand. Garfield then picked Tai up and draped him over his right shoulder!

“HE’S GOING TO BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY!” Early screamed. “Anything to put Tai away, and this oughta do it!”

Garfield scanned the crowd with a malicious stare, then ran toward the exposed concrete. . .looking to take Tai down with a Pumphandle Slam. . .

. . .but Tai slid off Garfield’s back behind him, sending Garfield face-first into the steel post!!! With Garfield dazed, Tai pulled up the ring apron and pulled out a steel chair! The Majesty of March turned back to face Garfield, who was still shaking his head back into reality. Tai raised the chair. . .

. . .but Garfield grabbed onto it, and pulled it out of Tai’s grasp! Garfield then hit Tai with a MASSIVE unprotected chair shot right to Tai’s head, which knocked him down and busted him wide open!!!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Early screamed somehow intelligibly at the sight. “GARFIELD MAY HAVE KNOCKED TAI OUT COLD!!!”

“And damaged his brain BIG TIME!!!” added Shake, as Garfield shoved Tai’s body under the ropes, back into the ring. Garfield climbed onto the ring apron, and over all three ropes right after him, and kicked Tai onto his back before barely resting a foot on him for a pin attempt!

“This match now FINALLY makes its way back into the ring, where the World Heavyweight Champion, may have inflicted enough pain on Tai to gain the victory!” Early said, before the referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 TAI KICKED OUT!!!! Garfield looked down at Tai, completely flabbergasted!!!

“WHAT????” Shake screamed in disbelief!

“HOW IS TAI EVEN ALIVE???” Early wondered aloud, as Garfield kicked Tai back onto his back before climbing up to the top rope!!!

“Well, if that massive chair shot didn’t put Tai away, this sure will!” Shake declared, as Garfield sized up Tai. . .leapt off the top rope for a Big Splash. . .

. . .but Tai rolled out of the way, causing Garfield to land chest first onto the mat!!! The World Champion winced upon impact before pushing himself up to his knees, while Tai pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes. Garfield rose to his feet and stepped up behind Tai, and lifted him up by his sides. . .

. . .but Tai dropped to his feet, right behind Garfield! Tai shoved the Champion toward the ropes, and slid right under him on the bounceback, running toward the ropes in front of him as Garfield came to the ropes on the other side of the ring. Tai leapt onto the ropes as Garfield bounced back. . .and was nailed by a Springboard Kick from Tai! Garfield, however, was still on his feet, dazed! Tai leapt onto the ropes on another side of the ring. . .AND TOOK DOWN GARFIELD WITH A SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY!!! Tai went for the cover, hooking both legs!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 GARFIELD POWERED OUT!!!! Tai landed on the mat in disbelief, as he pulled himself up with the ropes, the blood trickling down his face as he stared down Garfield with intense eyes!!!

“These two men have fought in the ring, at ringside, in the crowd, on the stage, and even on concrete!!! How much longer will this match go on???” Early questioned, as Tai reached his feet while Garfield got up to his knees. Tai ran toward the ropes on the left side of the ring and leapt toward Garfield for another springboard move. . .but Garfield caught him and locked in the Cathug!!!

“It may be over right here, Early!!!” Shake said in assurance, as Tai gasped and fought for air but to no avail. The referee asked Tai if he wanted to quit but all he could do was wave his arms around and gasp for air!!! Garfield fell down to his knees, taking Tai down with him. Tai continued attempting to elbow out of the hold, but he began to fade out of consciousness, waving his arms slower and slower!

“Many men have been trapped in this hold, and all have fallen to it apart from one man: the man trapped in it right now: Tai Kamiya!” informed Early. “But will he fall victim to it tonight, with the XCW Heavyweight Championship of the World on the line???” Tai’s body went limp as the referee raised his arm up, and dropped it, letting it fall to his side. The referee counted one before raising his arm again! The referee dropped it, letting it fall to Tai’s side again, counting two. The referee raised Tai’s arm once more. . .

. . .dropped it, letting it fall. . .

. . .UNTIL TAI’S ARM SHOT BACK UP!!! 

“THE MAJESTY OF MARCH IS NOT DONE YET!!!” Early screamed, as Tai gained a second life!!! Tai elbowed Garfield repeatedly in the head, and pulled himself back up to a standing position, kicking the Champion in the abdomen on his way! Tai rose up to a complete standing position. . .and with one swift kick to the chest, broke out of Garfield’s grasp, knocking him toward the ropes. As Garfield bounced back, Tai nailed him in the abdomen with another swift boot to the midsection. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A DDT!!! Tai went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.9999 GARFIELD POWERED OUT!!! Tai rolled off of Garfield, facing the mat as he and the Champion tried to catch their breath.

“By God, these two men are going on pure adrenaline at this point! They’re exhausted, they’re hurt, they’re bruised, they’re bloodied! He’s fighting for his wife, for the Heavyweight Championship of the World, that Garfield is fighting for as well!” Early said. “But this monster looks to destroy his adversary and put a strangehold on his holy grail!!!”

Garfield pulled himself up with the ropes, shaking his head back into reality, wiping the blood from his face, with Tai doing the same on the other side of the ring. Garfield and Tai charged toward each other, with Garfield clubbing Tai in the face with a right hand that knocked him toward the ropes. As Tai bounced back, though, he whacked Garfield in the leg with a thunderous kick!!! Tai then, with all his might and adrenaline, wrapped his arms around the Champion and tried to lift him up. . .

. . .but from Garfield’s weight, Tai collapsed with the fat cat on top of him!!! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99999 TAI KICKED OUT!!! Garfield shot up to his knees with an angry stare as he latched onto Tai’s sides with his hands. The World Champion staggered up to his feet, still with his grasp on Tai’s body. . .raised him up, and threw him down hard with an Atomic Drop—

\--but Garfield kept his hold on Tai!!! He raised him up once again and took him back down harder with ANOTHER Atomic Drop—but he still wasn’t through!!! Garfield lifted Tai up one more time and thrust him down feet-first onto the mat with a third and final Atomic Drop!!! Tai crumbled down to the mat, stained red with his and the Champion’s blood as Garfield raised an arm, roaring to the crowd who booed him in return.

“And the World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield, looking to put a giant footnote at the end of this match, and the beginning of his title reign—“ Early said, until running down the ramp behind him came—

“ODIE??” Shake yelled in shock. “What the hell is Odie doing out here?”

“Is he still reeling from the Hardcore title match? What the hell is wrong with him?” Early wondered as Garfield turned around to face his brainless partner. Odie leapt onto the ring apron with a steel chair. . .but Garfield grabbed him by the throat!!!

“AND THE CHAMPION SAYING, ‘HELL NO, I DON’T WANT YOUR HELP!”’ Early exclaimed, as Garfield slammed Odie down on the exposed concrete with a Chokeslam!!! Odie laid on the concrete prone, limp and lifeless!!

“ODIE PAYING FOR HIS INTERFERENCE IN GARFIELD’S BUSINESS!!!” Early yelled, as Garfield stared down his friend with a stoic expression. However, in his distraction, Tai grabbed onto Garfield’s waist. . .and with all the might he had left. . .

. . .TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! Tai immediately let go upon impact with the mat and let out an agonizing scream, selling his torso from the pain!!!

“THE MAJESTY OF MARCH SLAMMING THE CHAMPION DOWN AGAIN!!!” Early screamed as Tai crawled toward Garfield. . .but looked towards a corner instead!

“Wait a minute. . .what’s going through Tai’s mind right now?” Shake wondered, as Tai staggered up to his feet, and stepped toward the corner turnbuckle, climbing up to the top rope!!

“The final dagger, that’s what’s running through his mind!” Early declared, as Tai sized up the champion, until—

“WAIT A MINUTE! IT’S THAT DAMN JON ARBUCKLE!!!” Early screamed as Jon Arbuckle ran down the ramp and climbed onto the ring apron to massive boos from the crowd! Tai turned into his direction. . .and knocked him off the ring apron with a Missile Dropkick!!! Jon collapsed to the concrete floor face and chest-first as Tai pushed himself back up to his feet, looking at the interim commissioner with a look of contempt!!!

“Tai avoiding a repeat from the first encounter at Doomsday—“ Early started to say, until Tai turned around, and was grabbed by the throat by Garfield!!!

“It’s gonna happen anyway, Early!” guaranteed Shake as Garfield stared down Tai with wide, crazed eyes. Turning around to face the center of the ring, he lifted Tai off his feet. . .

. . .AND RECEIVED A BOOT TO THE FACE FROM TAI!!! Garfield dropped Tai to his feet upon impact!!! Tai then grabbed Garfield’s arm and Irish whipped him toward the ropes. As Garfield bounced back, Tai took him down with a drop toe hold, then locked him in the—

“CROSSFACE!!!” Early screamed. “THE CROSSFACE!!! TAI’S GOT IT LOCKED IN! HE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN!!! WE’RE GONNA HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!” Tai intensified the hold with all his might as Garfield screamed in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked Garfield if he wanted to quit, but Garfield shook his head vehemently. Garfield extended his arm toward the bottom rope, and inched a bit closer to it, as Tai screamed “COME ON!!!” at the top of his lungs!!!

“THIS IS FOR SORA! FOR ALL OF GARFIELD’S VICTIMS! FOR THE XCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!!! WILL TAI WIN IT???” Early screamed unintelligibly as Garfield wormed closer. . .

. . .extended his hand out toward the bottom rope. . .

. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIS HANDS ONTO THE MAT, PUSHING HIMSELF UP TO A STANDING POSITION WITH TAI’S CROSSFACE STILL IN TACT!!!

“BUT LOOK AT THE STRENGTH OF THE WORLD CHAMPION!!! TAI’S HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE!!! GARFIELD’S GONNA CRUSH HIM!!!” yelled Early as Tai let go of the Crossface. . .grabbed onto Garfield shoulders. . .

. . .AND TOOK GARFIELD BACK DOWN WITH A REVERSE DDT!!! Garfield and Tai were down in the center of the ring as Tai crumbled to the mat catching his breath!!! In between breaths, Tai looked up at the corner in front of him, and crawled towards it!

“By God, these two men have given their all in this match!” Early declared, as Tai got up to his knees, then his feet, limping over to the corner turnbuckle, slowly climbing up to the second rope!

“And for Tai, he’s had to do just that to tame the beast that is Garfield!” Shake said, as Tai reached the top rope!!! “But Garfield’s countered out of the Crossface, he’s survived a fall off the stage, he’s been busted open. . .is there anything LEFT that can take this cat down???”

Almost delirious from the blood loss, Tai stood up on the turnbuckle. . .

“Perhaps—“

. . .sized Garfield up. . .

“—THE TAI DIVE!!!”

. . .AND LANDED THE TAI DIVE!!! Tai twitched and quivered from the impact to the head!!!

“IT CONNECTS!!! GO FOR IT! GO FOR THE COVER, KID!!!” Early screamed, as Tai crawled in for a pin attempt!

“Does Tai even have a brain LEFT???” questioned Shake, as Tai laid on top of Garfield’s body, hooking the leg with what little strength remained for the cover!!! 1. . .

“THE COUNT—“

. . .

2\. . .

“THE COUNT—“

. . .

. . .3!!!”

The crowd erupted into a massive frenzy as the bell rang!!!

“IT’S OVER! IT’S OVER!!! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!!! TAI IS THE CHAMPION!!!”

Tai rolled off Garfield and buried his face in his hands as Plankton made the announcement!

“The winner of the match. . .AND NEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOORLD. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!!!”

Still lying on the mat, Tai wiped the blood from his face as the referee stepped over to him. 

“THIS SOLD OUT CROWD IN DIMMSDALE HAS ERUPTED!!!” Early said. “BECAUSE THEY HAVE JUST WITNESSED A MATCH FOR THE AGES!!! AN EPIC RETELLING OF DAVID VERSUS GOLIATH!!! AND THAT MAN RIGHT THERE, DAVID HIMSELF, TAI KAMIYA, HAS TAMED THE GOLIATH, GARFIELD, ON HIS WAY TO BECOMING THE NEW XCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!”

Tai raised his head up, looking at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt being handed to him. Tears streamed down his face as the referee laid it in his open arms!

“And look at the emotion on Tai’s face! It has been 11 years since Tai Kamiya last carried a World Title, but on this night, in Dimmsdale, California, Tai now has his feet firmly planted on the top of the fictional wrestling mountain, for he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion!!!”

Tai slowly staggered up to the mat, clenching his abdomen with one free hand, but with the other, raised the World Heavyweight title belt above his head and toward the fans in celebration!!! He turned toward the ringside area and raised it toward more fans. . .until someone came up from behind him and placed a small, gentle hand on his shoulder. Tai turned around, and with his face still cut, he saw with his teary brown eyes, his wife Sora.

“Sora, Tai’s wife, stayed away from this match for her safety. . .” Shake said, as Sora, still selling her ribs, looked up at her bloody husband. . .

. . .and came into a passionate embrace with him, their lips meeting on impact as the crowd erupted into more cheers.

“. . .but who wouldn’t celebrate a title win???” finished the color commentator, as Tai and Sora posed on opposing turnbuckles, with Tai still selling his torso in pain, but raising the World title belt above his head in celebration!

“Tai and Sora gave their all tonight in their respective matches, and while they’re not champions together, one thing is for certain: a standard has been set for those who wish to contend for XCW’s World Heavyweight Championship! Tai Kamiya, ladies and gentlemen, is XCW’s new Heavyweight Champion of the World!”

Tai and Sora continued to celebrate in the ring as XCW Endgame went off the air!

And so ends XCW Endgame. I hope it was worth the wait! But if it wasn’t, trust me, I’m just warming up. Just wait for the next episode of Monday Night Massacre for the fallout and much, much more!

By the way, for this next month, I’m going to have three episodes before Nightfire, the next pay-per-view, instead of the usual four. The reason being that I’m far behind where I would like to be.

Anywho, that’s all I got, so until the next episode, RATE/GRADE/REVIEW, and feel free to check out Destined. It should be up right about…..ehhh…now.

Results

Rolf defeated Kenny McCormick, Solid Snake, Spike Spiegel, Stimpy, Odie, and Kevin in a Seven-Man Hardcore Match (wins XCW Hardcore Championship)  
Claude Speed defeated Bugs Bunny (c) and Arthur in a Triple Threat match to win the XCW World Television Championship  
Mario defeated Tommy Vercetti  
Peach (c) defeated Sora Takenouchi (c) to retain the XCW Women’s Championship  
Kenny McCormick defeated Rolf (c) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion  
Luigi defeated Kenny McCormick (c) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion   
The South Park Four (Stan Marsh & Eric Cartman) defeated D-Generation Ed (Ed and Edd) to become the new XCW Tag Team Champions  
Tai Kamiya defeated Garfield (c) in a No-Disqualification Match to become the new XCW World Heavyweight Champion


	24. XCW Massacre: May Week 1 Part 1

Hey readers! Sorry it’s been two months since my last update. Endgame took a lot out of me, plus wrestling in general has kind of sucked recently, and I got really busy with work in my field. But following a headscratching Hell in a Cell pay-per-view, the biggest screwjob in NFL history, the webseries I work on getting picked up by a web network, and other, more personal matters happening in my life, comes a new episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“We are fresh off the heels of one of the most brutal, the most suspenseful, and the most emotional pay-per-views of the fiction wrestling calendar year! With the beast Garfield conquered, what does Tai Kamiya have in store for XCW as he begins his reign as XCW Heavyweight Champion of the World? Welcome to Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and we are live here from the South Island, and Shake, I’m excited for the fallout of XCW Endgame!”

“I am too, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “Four titles changed hands last night, statements were made, rivals clashed, and I even think there’s still some bad blood between opponents from last night, especially the South Park Four and D-Generation Ed!”

“And speaking of the former XCW tag team champions, they released a Tweet late last night that said, “That was a tough loss to swallow. To a few guys, our news tomorrow night will be even tougher.” Early, we will hear from the former tag team champions tonight, but do you think the Age of Ed is over?”

“I really don’t want to think that, Shake—“ Early started to say, until “This Fire Burns” by Killswitch Engage played!

“—but we start off the night with our new XCW World Heavyweight Champion!”

To thunderous applause, Tai and Sora stepped onto the stage, with Tai raising the World title belt high above his head before striding down the ramp with his wife at his side.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sora Takenouchi. . .and the NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

“Last night, Tai and the former XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield fought all over the arena in a No-Disqualification match!” Early informed. “They fought by our table, in the crowds, by the stage, on the stage, on the ramp, in addition to the squared circle!”

Tai and Sora slid into the ring and posed on opposite turnbuckles, Tai raising the championship toward the fans.

“It was a long, brutal and bloody affair, with Garfield trying absolutely everything to put Tai away!” added Shake. “Chair shots, slams onto concrete, chokeslams, and even his manager and our interim commissioner! But in the end, Tai Kamiya stood alone and tamed the beast, going from the XCW Majesty of March. . .to the XCW World Heavyweight Champion!”

Tai and Sora passionately kissed in the center of the ring before scanning the crowd with smiles on their faces and microphones in hand.

“And right now XCW’s new World Champion, with his wife Sora at his side, will address the crowd!” Early said before Tai, forehead bandaged from the night before, put the microphone up to his mouth, looking around the arena at all the fans who chanted, “TAI! TAI! TAI!”

“Boy, what a difference a year makes, huh?” Tai openly asked. “You all know my personal story. This time last year, I, along with Digimon itself, was irrelevant. I was alone, and on hiatus. A lot of people, myself included, wondered whether or not I had the desire to wrestle anymore.”

“But flash-forward to last night, to Endgame; Garfield had brought me to the breaking point well before the night with his attacks on Sora and I. He tried to beat me to my breaking point physically as well, going so far as to throw me face-first onto concrete, almost chokeslam me through a spotlight, squeeze the life out of my body, bust me open, break my back, and render me useless. But you all know the old saying. ‘It’s not about the size of the dog in the fight. . .it’s about the size of the fight in the dog.”

“And so Garfield was, without a doubt, the biggest opponent I have ever faced in my career. He is a ruthless, monstrous beast. . .but the beast inside me is bigger. And with that beast, and speed, and determination, last night ended with me in a bloody mess. . .but also with Sora by my side. . .and with me holding above my head for the first time here. . .the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

Tai raised the belt above his head once more, with the crowd erupting into cheers and chants of “YOU STILL GOT IT!” Tai smirked at the fans as he draped the World title belt over his shoulder, and continued to speak.

“And I vow to all of you XCW fans, to the roster in the back, and to all the other companies in this business that this World Championship will be defended with pride. This Championship will be defended with honor. And as XCW World Heavyweight Champion, I will set a standard for excellence that this company hasn’t seen since its inception! You see, before last night, all of you would turn on XCW, you would turn on WWE: Animated, you would turn on AWF, CWF, whatever, and notice one thing about each company: their World Heavyweight Champion wasn’t exactly the best of guys. Garfield, Itachi Uchiha, Bart Simpson, Ben Tennyson, and Kouji Minamoto are just a few of these examples. You see, I’ve realized that we have found ourselves in an age of fiction wrestling where world champions become revered by fans for having a reputation as a bad guy. World Champions like the ones we’ve had before kept a standard of excellence from getting set here. But I promise to all of you, as XCW World Heavyweight Champion, I will—“

Tai was abruptly cut off as “Teen Beat Ocean” by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the stage in unison to the first few notes of the song!

“Tai making good promises as he begins his reign as World Heavyweight Champion, but his first challenger has heard enough!” Early said.

“You got that right!” agreed Shake, as Mario ran onto the stage and down the ramp with a microphone in hand. “Mario won the right to face Tai after beating Tommy Vercetti in a return match for the number one contendership of the XCW World title! But where was Mario for the past month, and does he have anything to say to the new World Heavyweight Champion?”

“CUT-A MY MUSIC!!!” Mario yelled. “CUT IT RIGHT NOW!!!” 

The music abruptly stopped as Mario stormed down the ramp, glaring at the fans.

“How dare you spread lies about me!”

The crowd gave Mario a mixed reaction as he entered the ring and stood across from Tai.

“How dare you even insinuate that I am a bad guy! Have you even forgotten who I am??? I am not only the star of this company, but I am the icon of the video gaming industry! I am the icon of the most prolific video game publishing company in the world! And I am the icon of the most successful video game franchise of all time! And in this franchise, I was. . .a good guy. On more than one occasion, I trekked through countless worlds, fought villain after villain, all with one goal in mind: to save the princess and restore order to the Mushroom Kingdom! All that, plus my   
ability to continue my successes into almost every sport imaginable, including fiction wrestling, makes me more than just a good guy. It makes me a great athlete, a role model, and---“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, a Champion of Life! Blah, blah, blah!” interrupted Tai, to cheers from the crowd. Mario only scowled at the World Heavyweight Champion before he continued to speak.

“Thanks for the history lesson, Mario, and I’d like to personally welcome you back to XCW. . .but from the looks of your attitude, more remains to be seen, and more remains to be known! After all, the last time we saw you before last night, you were laying flat on your back in this ring as you lost the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. So what I, Sora, and all these people want to learn know is, where have you been hiding for the last month?”

Mario scowled up at Tai as he put the microphone up to his mouth.

“Well, Tai, you know damn well that even the most successful men in this business have reached a low point. You’ve reached yours on multiple occasions. And the night I lost the XCW World Heavyweight Championship was one of my career’s low points. Before March Majesty, I had single-handedly taken XCW from the realms of obscurity, and made it one of the premiere companies in this business! But then, while I was left staring up at the lights after that fateful night, I had realized that not only did my title reign end, but so did the Super Mario Syndicate.”

“The day after my defeat, I was so ashamed and humiliated, that I didn’t want to show my face in the XCW locker room. My brother Luigi, and my wife Peach would never let me live down the fact that I had forsaken them for a piece of gold. I then decided to take the month off to do some soul-searching, and think about what my next step would be, knowing that everything I built with this company had been destroyed. But for the past month, Tai Kamiya, I watched you. And I watched Garfield attack your wife, throw Tommy Vercetti onto a car, and toss you around like a rag doll. . .but I also saw you fight back. You beat Odie to within an inch of his life, and showed more tenacity and aggression against the behemoth of this company that I had ever seen. And so, by watching you overcome all your past embarrassments, all your failures, and reclaim your spot at the top of the mountain, I realized that if you can do it, so can I.”

Mario came face-to-face with Tai, staring him down.

“And so now, Tai Kamiya, I have returned to XCW to reclaim what is mine, and that is not only the XCW World Heavyweight Championship that currently fits around your waist, but also my place as the star of this company, and rebuild the foundation that I started! And in 20 days, at the Nightfire pay-per-view. . .I will do just that—“

“NOT SO FAST!!!” said an unknown voice from the titantron to loud boos from the crowd. Tai, Mario and Sora turned to look at the titantron, revealing the speaker to be Jon Arbuckle, who was sitting in his office with a malicious look on his face.

“Mario, you may have won the number one contendership match last night, but due to…unfortunate events that took place last night, your contendership for Mr. Kamiya’s World Heavyweight Championship will be on the line, right here, TONIGHT. . .against one angry man. . .a man who is so angry, that all the food here in the South Island couldn’t make him happy. . .a man who wants nothing more than to Chokeslam you all the way to Hell once again. Tonight, Mario, you will be in a Number One Contenders match against XCW’s very own behemoth. . .GARFIELD!!!”

The crowd erupted into boos as Mario raised his eyebrows in fear. 

“And I have my own anger to unleash after the events of last night as well! So tonight, for the very first time, you will see me, the Interim Commissioner of XCW, Jon Arbuckle, compete in a match! And it will be against YOU. . .

Tai and Sora stood in the center of the ring as Jon Arbuckle pointed a finger right at—

“—SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

The crowd erupted into boos as Tai screamed “WHAT????” in disbelief!

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” cried Early.

Sora could only look up at the titantron, her mouth agape in shock as Jon looked down at them with a sadistic sneer.

“And Mr. Kamiya, if you so much as think about interfering in your wife’s match against me, you will be stripped of the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, and promptly FIRED FROM THIS COMPANY!!!”

Tai exploded in a fit of anger, with Sora only staring at the titantron, still in disbelief.

“Good luck to all of you!” Jon said, before signing off from the titantron, and taking Monday Night Massacre to a commercial break.

As Massacre returned from break, Early Cuyler and Master Shake sat at the announcer’s table in disgust.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, we’ve seen Arbuckle do some heinous things since becoming interim commissioner, but now he’s gone too far!” Early said.

“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “Not only is the Number One Contendership for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line again in a match pitting Mario against the former champion, Garfield, but he’s also put himself in a one-on-one match against Tai Kamiya’s wife, Sora Takenouchi, where if Tai interferes, he’ll be stripped of the World title and fired from XCW!”

“And Sora had a grueling match against Peach for the XCW Women’s Championship last night!” added Early. “Who knows if she’s fully recovered from that match, as well as from her injured ribs?”

“Well, we’re just gonna have to wait and see.” Shake said until—

“What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played! Stan Marsh walked onto the ramp with Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman right behind him to a mixed reaction.

“The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Kyle Broflovski and The Enforcer, Eric Cartman. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .he is one half of the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .The Leader. . .STAN MARSH!!!”

“Last night, we saw Stan and Cartman of the South Park Four become the new XCW Tag Team Champions, albeit in a fashion as controversial as the team itself!” Early said, as Stan entered the ring from under the ropes and climbed onto a turnbuckle, raising his Tag title belt above his head.

“They did what no one else has done before in XCW: beaten down D-Ed’s Monobrowed Monster, Ed, by isolating him on the outside of the ring, and picking him apart from body part to body part!” Shake informed. “And by distracting him and the referee in the process, upon which, that man right there, Stan Marsh, nailed the Sockhead, Double D, in the face with a steel chair, and with Kyle keeping Nazz in check at ringside, the South Park Four were able to steal the victory and the Tag Team Championships!”

“And we will hear from the former Tag Champions later tonight, as they address the XCW fans about their loss, and plans for the future! But right now, the South Park Four have a score to settle against our new Hardcore Champion!”

Stan stepped off the turnbuckle and looked down the ramp in anticipation until. . .

. . ."Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage raising a peace sign and the Hardcore title belt above his head, towards the ring.

“And his opponent. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. ..LUIGI!!!”

The crowd gave Luigi a mixed reaction as he strode down the ramp.

“Last night at Endgame, the formerly vacant XCW Hardcore Championship was on the line in a seven-way match, which Rolf from D-Generation Ed won, only for Kenny McCormick of the South Park Four to ambush the Son of a Shepherd in the backstage area!” Early informed. “The fight went all the way to the ring, where South Park’s Extremist would finally defeat Rolf to become the new Hardcore Champion via our 24/7 rule!”

Luigi entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, taunting the fans with the Hardcore title belt.

“But the celebration was short-lived, as Luigi made his return to XCW, ambushing Kenny, and putting him through a flaming table in the process, killing him!” added Shake. “And now The Leader of the South Park Four is looking to enact vengeance on Kenny’s behalf right here, right now in this battle between new champions!”

The bell rang and the match began with Stan and Luigi getting into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Luigi put Stan into a side headlock only for Stan to elbow out of it and spin behind Luigi, elbowing him right in the back of the head before putting him in a waist-lock and taking him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Stan quickly went for the cover 1. . .Luigi kicked out! Luigi rose up to his feet and put Stan in a tie-up, pushing him up against a corner turnbuckle. Luigi whacked the Leader in the chest with chop after chop until Stan managed to block one and throw Luigi into the corner! Stan then hammered away on the Hardcore Champion’s face with furious right hands until Luigi fell into a seated position. Stan then stomped a furious mudhole into the Hardcore Champion until the referee ordered Stan to back off. Stan then pulled Luigi by the leg into the center of the ring and went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out!

Stan pulled Luigi up by his overalls, only for Luigi to nail him in the face with a quick right hand! Luigi then put Stan in a wrist lock and took him down with an arm drag! Keeping his grip on Stan’s arm, Luigi then landed a leg drop onto Stan, and wrenching on his arm with an armbar submission hold locked in! Stan winced in agonizing pain until he rolled toward Luigi and connected with a right hand to his temple, breaking the hold! Luigi and Stan staggered to their feet and got into another tie-up, where Luigi put Stan in a front face lock and took him down with a neckbreaker! Luigi went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!!! Luigi pulled Stan up to his feet and Irish whipped him toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Luigi knocked Stan back with a European uppercut, then slammed him to the mat with a Scoop Slam! Luigi went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan’s foot was on the bottom rope!!!

“The often-forgotten about Mario brother taking it to the South Park Four’s leader!” Early commented. “Will this revenge match be all for naught?”

Luigi pulled Stan up to his feet and hit him in the face with a punch combination before Irish whipping him across the ring. As Stan bounced back, Luigi leapt up for a Crossbody. . .only for Stan to leap up for a Crossbody of his own, causing him and the Hardcore Champion to collide in mid-air!!! Both men were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count!

“And Stan Marsh now looking to get back into this thing! This could be the opening he needed!” called Early as Stan and Luigi pulled themselves up to their feet. They met in the center of the ring and traded back and forth right hands. . .until Stan surprised Luigi with a left hand that sent Luigi careening against the ropes. As Luigi bounced off them, Stan picked him up and took him down with a huge Gutbuster! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out, much to the chagrin of the tag team champion! Stan then grabbed Luigi’s legs and pulled him into the center of ring, looking for the Sharpshooter. . .

. . .but Luigi kicked Stan off of him, and towards the ropes! Luigi rose up to his feet in time to catch Stan on the bounceback and take him down with a Jawbreaker!!! Luigi then flashed a peace sign to the crowd, who booed him in return. As Stan staggered up to his feet behind him, Luigi quickly turned back around to face him. . .and took him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex!!! Luigi went for the cover, hooking the leg. . .

. . .but Eric Cartman was on the ring apron, distracting the referee!!! 

“Wait a minute! The South Park Four are looking to steal yet another win!” Early observed, as Cartman and the referee argued until Luigi got off the cover, well after a potential three count! Luigi charged toward Cartman, who immediately stepped off the apron, raising his hands in protest. Luigi and The Enforcer traded words, until the Hardcore Champion turned around to face Stan. . .

. . .WHO HAD GOTTEN UP AND TOOK LUIGI DOWN WITH THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!! Stan went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And The Leader of the South Park Four gets the victory, but not without help from The Enforcer!” Early said, as Stan got up from the cover and yelled triumphantly in celebration after the bell rang!

“The winner of this match. . .The Leader. . .STAN MARSH!!!”

The referee handed Stan his Tag title belt before raising his arm in victory. As the referee let him go, Cartman and Kyle slid into the ring and began to stomp a mudhole onto the Hardcore Champion! Meanwhile, Stan got in the referee’s face, forcing him to leave the ring!

“And the three remaining members of the South Park Four have taken the ring hostage, and are just beating the holy hell out of Luigi! This is ridiculous!” Early said, as Stan pulled Luigi’s body up and threw it towards Cartman, who landed a Lou Thesz Press, and hammered away on his face with furious right hands! 

“Now that they’re tag team champions, they’ve set out on their second goal of the week: avenge the death of their fallen comrade, and with this beatdown on the Hardcore Champion, they’re doing just that!” Shake declared, as Cartman then threw Luigi toward Kyle, who kicked him in the midsection and took him down with another South Park Stunner! Stan then stood over Luigi and locked him in the Sharpshooter, causing the Green Mario Brother to scream in agonizing pain!

“This is flat-out chaos brought on by our new tag team champions—“ Early said, until—

\--“What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played!!!

“—what the? Wait a minute!” Early said, upon seeing with a referee running at his side down the ramp. . .

“KENNY MCCORMICK!!! Right on cue, and back from the dead comes the South Park Extremist!!!” Early screamed, as Stan draped Luigi’s head and arms over the middle rope!!! Kenny slid into the ring and ran against the ropes on the opposite side! He then bounced back, latched onto the ropes in front of him. . .

. . .AND NAILED LUIGI IN THE FACE WITH THE 303!!! Kenny then leapt onto the top rope. . .AND LANDED A SPLASH ONTO LUIGI IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!! Kenny went for the cover, hooking the leg as the referee made the count, as Stan, Kyle and Cartman looked on! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And the South Park Four now holds the Hardcore title!!!” Early exclaimed while Kenny abruptly stood up and yelled muffled obscenities like a house of fire toward the crowd as the referee gave him the XCW Hardcore title belt, and raised his arm in victory!

“Here is your new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .KENNY MCCORMICK!!!”

The referee left the ring as the South Park Four gave each other high fives in the center of the ring, congratulating each other.

“Like he’s done many times before, Kenny McCormick comes back to life the day after his death, only on this occasion, it’s to take advantage on a weak and beaten down Luigi, and claim the XCW Hardcore Championship as property of the South Park Four!” Early said, as the South Park Four raised their respective titles and arms up in the air, to a very mixed reaction from the crowd.

“Will the former tag team champions, D-Generation Ed, have anything to say about this later tonight when we hear from them later tonight? But what I want to know is, does Mario have anything to say? After all, these four men just manhandled his brother!” Shake wondered.

“Well, Shake, right now, I honestly doubt it because Mario has a tough test tonight, in his second match since returning to XCW after a month-long hiatus! He puts his number one contendership for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line against his will, when he goes one-on-one with one angry cat, the former World Heavyweight Champion, the monster Garfield!” informed Early, 

“And if Tai even thinks about interfering in this match, he’ll be stripped of the World Heavyweight title, and fired on the spot! What’s going through their minds right now?” Shake asked before the show went to a locker room in the backstage area, where Sora sat with a look of anger on her face as Tai finished applying a massive amount of athletic tape to her injured abdomen.

“That’s enough, Tai.” Sora said, but Tai just kept applying more.

“Tai, STOP!” Sora yelled, causing the World Heavyweight Champion to drop the tape, clenching his fists and seething with anger.

“I’m sorry, Sora!” Tai snapped before sitting down next to his wife and placing a hand on her shoulder. “I just. . .with you hurt, and me banned from ringside, who knows what a man like Jon has up his sleeve! He could send Garfield back out on you, make it a no-disqualification match, or worse! And whatever happens to you will hurt me just as much, because I can’t be out there to protect you!”

Sora put her own hand on Tai’s shoulder. 

“You’ll be out there in my heart.” Sora leaned in, resting her forehead on Tai’s.   
“Jon may be scheming and manipulative, but if there’s one thing he isn’t, it’s a wrestler. Win or lose, he’ll be exposed for the spineless coward he is. . .and it won’t be by just a girl. It’ll be by a four time Women’s Champion, the bearer of the Crest of Love. . .and the wife of the XCW World Heavyweight Champion.”

Sora briefly kissed her husband before leaving the locker room, leaving Tai with a reserved but nervous look on his face as Massacre went to a commercial break.

“And now. . .the XCW Smack of the Night, sponsored by Duff Beer! Can’t get enough of that wonderful Duff!”

Last night at Endgame, during the triple threat match for the XCW World Television Championship, Arthur rose up to his feet, selling his knee. He taunted for Bugs to rise up to his feet. Bugs rose to one knee, trying to catch his breath. Bugs staggered up to a standing position. . .

. . .ONLY FOR ARTHUR TO GRAB HIS HEAD AND TAKE HIM DOWN WITH THE FINAL CHAPTER!

"THE FINAL CHAPTER CONNECTS!" Shake yelled in excitement.

"No. . ." said Early, as Arthur went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

"PBS reigns supreme-"

. . .Arthur suddenly rose off the cover, as Claude went for a falling elbow to break up the count, causing Claude to land the elbow onto Bugs! Bugs clenched his abdomen in pain as he rolled out of the ring. 

Claude went for a tie-up but Arthur slipped behind Claude and set him up for the Final Chapter. . .but Claude countered out of it and took Arthur down with a reverse DDT! Claude thought about going for the cover. . .but instead rolled off Arthur and stepped back toward a corner, taunting for Arthur to get up on the way! Arthur rolled onto his chest and pushed himself up with his arms before finally getting up to a standing position. Claude went for the Bicycle Kick. . .

. . .but Arthur caught Claude's leg just in time! Arthur kicked Claude in the gut with a kick to the midsection of his own, then ran against the ropes behind him. Arthur went for a Scissors Kick. . .but Claude dodged it! Arthur turned back around to face Claude. . .AND ATE HIS BICYCLE KICK!

"THE BICYCLE KICK CONNECTED!" Early yelled, as Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"CLAUDE SPEED IS BACK! CLAUDE IS STRONG. . .CLAUDE HAS BECOME THE TELEVISION CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!" " exclaimed Early, as Claude climbed onto a top rope and held both titles above his head, still celebrating with the fans, who were in a frenzy!

As Massacre returned from break, Tommy Vercetti and Claude Speed were walking down a hallway, with Claude carrying a 24-pack of beer. 

“Why’d you go with Fat Tire? I thought we were getting PBR.” Tommy asked.

Claude scoffed. “I like it, but Fat Tire’s perfect for tonight’s occasion. Besides, you made the wrong choice last time.”

Tommy’s mouth contorted in disgust. “Don’t remind me. I’m done with Heineken. F*** that s**t! Pabst Blue--“

“—Ribbon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ve seen Blue Velvet, too, ya know.” Interrupted Claude, until Carl Brutanandilewski came in between them with a microphone in hand.

“Excuse me, guys!” Carl said. “First of all, Claude, congratulations on being the first man on the XCW roster to hold two championships from two different companies at the same time! However, you and Tommy said on Twitter earlier today that you had received an e-mail from Souichi Sagano. If I may ask, what did he ask you two?”

“Well, Carl. . .” Tommy said, “. . .if you must know, Souichi has asked Claude and I on both of our e-mail accounts, many, many times over the past few weeks to become members of the Rookie Revolution, an inter-promotional stable that’s only getting bigger by the day, filled with up-and-comers in this industry that are athletic and promising. . .but they’re also impatient, whiny bitches! Ever since we set foot in this business, I’ve become a six-time Hardcore Champion, and I was a finalist in the March Majesty Tournament!”

“On top of that, I’m a four-time XCW Hardcore Champion, and Souichi—“

Claude looked right into the camera and pointed at his two championship belts.

“--do you see these two belts on my shoulders? They say more than a wristband on me ever will! So no, we will not be joining your “revolution”, because we waited for our chance to shine, and took advantage of it once it came!”

“Well, what about those who had their chance ripped from their own hands???” said an unknown figure, who came up to Tommy and Claude’s left sides, revealing himself to be Hotsuma!

“Ever since fighting in the first fatal four-way match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, while you guys have been winning titles, invading Royal Rumbles, and fighting in interpromotional matches, I have been sitting here in the back twiddling my thumbs! And I couldn’t take it anymore. So if you guys aren’t accepting Souichi’s offer. . .”

Hotsuma raised his arm up, revealing a Rookie Revolution wristband on his wrist!

“. . .I AM!!! And as XCW’s representative in the Rookie Revolution, I’m not challenging you. . .I’M DEMANDING a match against you for the XCW Television Championship of World right here, tonight!”

“You know what, Hotsuma? You’re on! But let me warn you, you’re gonna have a message to send back to Souichi, Taiki and the rest of your revolution. And it’ll tell you loud and clear to stay out of our business!”

“Oh yeah? Well when I become the new Television Champion, you two won’t be drinking to celebrate. You’ll be drinking away your sorrows.”

Hotsuma stormed in between them and strode down the hallway, fuming with anger while Claude and Tommy looked on until the show went back to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!”

"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine played as Sora Takenouchi ran onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, raising her hands above her head, and towards the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, we’ll have an interesting match coming later tonight, as Claude Speed defends his newly-won XCW World Television Championship against XCW’s representative in the Rookie Revolution, Hotsuma! But right now, we will be seeing a matchup that only our sadistic interim commissioner could make! Jon Arbuckle has put himself in this one-on-one match against a less-than-100% Sora Takenouchi, in an act of bitterness toward her husband, the new World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya!”

With her arm grasping her ribs, Sora gave the crowd high fives with her free hand as she ran down the ramp, and slid into the ring.

“And if Tai even thinks about interfering in this match, he’ll be stripped of the World Heavyweight title, and fired on the spot! What’s going through their minds right now?” wondered Shake.

Her ribs heavily taped up, Sora climbed onto a turnbuckle and posed toward the fans until. . .

“This is Extreme” by Harry Slash and the Slashtones played to very, VERY loud boos from the crowd, as Jon Arbuckle stepped down the ramp with his arms extended from his sides, smiling triumphantly and wearing a long, red robe.

“And her opponent. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .he is the Interim Commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .JON ARBUCKLE!!!”

“This man has done some pretty heinous things since taking over as XCW’s Commissioner in February!” Early said in disgust. “But I don’t think any of them come close to the match that we’re about to see right now! He’s about to beat the living daylights out of the World Heavyweight Champion’s wife, all because his client, the monster Garfield, lost the XCW World title to Tai last night!”

Jon entered the ring from above the second rope and taunted the crowd, removing his robe, and revealing him wearing generic wrestling attire. 

“I don’t know where this ranks among Arbuckle’s dastardly deeds, Early!” Shake said. “Sure, he’s brought the South Park Four to XCW, but he ordered the monster Garfield to beat Tai to a bloody pulp, manipulated our anonymous chairman into making him the Interim Commissioner, banned superstars from visiting other shows, and ordered both Garfield AND Odie to hurt Sora until she got injured! But now Arbuckle’s looking to inflict his own form of pain onto Tai Kamiya’s wife, and who knows what we’ll see out of him here tonight!”

The bell rang and the match began with Sora and Jon standing in opposite corners, Jon staring her down with a malicious smile on his face, while Sora looked back with a grimace, but an equally intense, hateful stare on hers.

“Her ribs haven’t fully healed yet, either!” Early added, as Sora and Jon stepped toward each other, with Jon nailing her in the ribs with a huge kick to the abdomen! Sora fell to her knees in pain as Jon pulled her head up by the hair, forcing her to look at him. “Sora is a sitting duck!”

Jon raised a fist up high in the air, staring Sora down with the same sadistic smile. . .until. . .

. . .suddenly. . .

. . .a familiar talk show theme song played from the titantron! Jon and Sora looked at the now dark stage in confusion. . .until. . .

“Ahhhh. . .AHHHH. . .

. . .AHHH-AHHH!!!”

. . .”Hit Single” by Sonny Sharrock played!!!

“Wait a minute. . .what the hell’s going on here???” asked Early, as the crowd erupted into cheers once the guitars played on the song!!!

“Can it be???” Shake wondered, as Jon’s eyes widened in disbelief while Sora looked down the ramp in hopeful surprise as a man came from the backstage area, and stepped onto the stage. The lights went up on the stage, revealing the man to be. . .

. . .

. . .SPACE GHOST!!!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Early screamed. “SPACE GHOST HAS RETURNED TO XCW!!!”

The crowd erupted into a standing ovation as Space Ghost stared Jon Arbuckle down!

“I DON’T BELIEVE IT! HE’S BAAAAACK!!!” Shake cried.

“ARBUCKLE LOOKS LIKE HE’S SEEN A GHOST!!!” yelled Early. “AND I THINK SPACE GHOST HAS HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF ARBUCKLE’S ANTICS AS WE HAVE!”

The music stopped as Space Ghost put the microphone up to his mouth.

“Greetings, everyone!” Space Ghost said, to cheers from the crowd. “I’m Space Ghost! And I am back in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!”

Meanwhile, in the ring, Jon backed up to the center of the ring, rubbing his eyes and looking down the ramp at Space Ghost, completely dumbfounded.

“If you all don’t remember, the last time I was in an XCW arena. . .that man, standing in that ring before you now gave his client an order to beat me senseless. And he did! He chokeslammed me onto solid concrete, which injured my back, and made me incapable of fulfilling my duties as Commissioner of XCW! Well now, I stand before you all completely healthy, and having changed my ways since the inception of this company. I spoke with the anonymous chairman late last night, and he welcomed me back to the company with open arms. So now, it is my duty to inform you, Mr. Arbuckle, that you are RELIEVED OF YOUR DUTIES AS INTERIM COMMISSIONER. . .”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Jon ran around the ring screaming “NO!” repeatedly in a temper tantrum!

“. . .because I, Space Ghost, am now, once again, THE COMMISSIONER OF XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING!!!”

“ALL RIGHT!!!” Early screamed. “THANK GOD!!! WELCOME BACK SPACE GHOST!!!”

The crowd cheered louder than before as Jon continued to throw his tantrum in the ring.

“Oh, don’t worry, Jon! Look on the bright side: you have a lot less on your plate now, because you’re still a part of XCW as Garfield’s manager!” Space Ghost assured, but Jon could only look back at Space Ghost seething with anger and screaming “NO! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!”

“Wait, what’s that?” Space Ghost asked with a sarcastic infliction. “I can’t do this to you? Oh, that’s right! You were in the middle of a match! A match that, to be quite honest, am intrigued to see. But I’ll tell you what I’ll do, Jon. As Commissioner, it’s been both your duty and mine to keep XCW at the top of the ratings and give our fans a quality product. So I’m gonna leave the state of this match up to our fans.”

“Do you guys still want to see Jon Arbuckle go one-on-one with Sora Takenouchi?”

Jon rapidly nodded his head in anticipation, his face contorting into the sadistic smirk from earlier. However, the fans neither cheered nor booed.

“Allow me to rephrase that.” Space Ghost said. “Do you guys want to see Jon Arbuckle GET HIS ASS KICKED by Sora Takenouchi???”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Jon shook his head repeatedly, saying “No, no! Just wait! You’re gonna get what she’s about to receive!”

“So be it!” Space Ghost exclaimed. “Referee, restart this match!”

The bell rang and the match restarted as Jon smiled excitedly, pointing at Space Ghost.

“You’ll see! You’ll see!” Jon assured. . .completely unaware that Sora had snuck behind him! Jon turned around. . .

. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A LOU THESZ PRESS FROM SORA!!!! Sora hammered away on Jon’s face with furious right and left hands as the crowd erupted into cheers!

“AND SORA TAKING DOWN ARBUCKLE AND GIVING HIM WHAT’S COMING TO HIM!!!” Early yelled. “PAYBACK FOR ALL THE BEATDOWNS, THE INSULTS, THE INJURIES, THE SET-UPS AGAINST HER AND TAI!!!”

“My God!” Shake cried as Sora pulled Jon up to his feet. “Arbuckle has no idea what hit him!”

Like a house of fire, Sora Irish whipped Jon hard against the ropes. As Jon bounced back, Sora charged toward him and took him down with a Spear!!!

“I don’t think he knows where he is right now!” Early declared as Sora climbed up to the top rope. . .waited for Jon to stand up. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A DIVING HURRICANRANA!!! Still selling her chest, Sora then crawled toward Jon, turned him onto his chest. . .

. . .and locked him in the Crossface!!! Sora intensified the hold as Jon screamed in agonizing pain!

“And now Sora’s got the Crossface locked in! Arbuckle has nowhere to go!!!” Early cried, as Jon extended his arm. . .

. . .inched closer to the ropes. . .

. . .but tapped out!!! 

“And justice has been served!” Early cried, as Space Ghost looked on from the stage with a wide, satisfied smile on his face. Back in the ring, Sora kept the hold locked in well after the bell rang!

“The winner of this match. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

“And in embarrassing but a fitting fashion, ends Jon Arbuckle’s tenure as the Commissioner of XCW!” Early said as Sora stood up to meet the referee, who raised her hand in victory to cheers from the crowd. Meanwhile, Arbuckle rolled out of the ring, selling his neck as he struggled up to his feet.

“You’re absolutely right!” Shake said in agreement. “Jon was gonna enjoy every second of the pain he planned to inflict on Sora, but then Space Ghost returned to Monday Night Massacre, and not only saved Sora by buying her some time, but he probably saved all of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling by reclaiming his job as Commissioner of XCW!”

Jon stumbled to the backstage area while fans cheered Sora on as she climbed onto a turnbuckle and posed for the fans.

“XCW is already in a three-way tie for number one in the ratings, Shake!” Early said in realization. “With Space Ghost back, and his promise that he has changed his ways, who knows what’s in store for the future of this company?”

Sora continued celebrating with the fans while Arbuckle looked on in disgust from the stage as the show went to a commercial break.

Alrighty, there’s part one. I hope it was worth the wait! As always, let me know if there's anything at all I can do to improve my promo writing, or anything, really. Part two will come soon, in the meantime, RATE/REVIEW!


	25. XCW Massacre: May Week 1 Part 2

Hey fans! Here’s part two! I only own my championships.

As Monday Night Massacre returns from break, Jon Arbuckle stormed down a hallway with his hand on the back of his neck. He reaches his office, where an arena employee is removing the plaque with his name on it from the open door. Garfield stands in the doorway, in front of a multitude of employees boxing up decorations and office supplies.

“There you are!” Jon yelled to Garfield. “Why aren’t you doing anything? Stop them! Grab them by the throat and throw them through a wall!”

“They said they’d fire us both if I did that, Jon!” answered Garfield. “They’re clearing out your office on Space Ghost’s orders!”

Jon let out an annoyed sigh as Tommy Vercetti came up behind them.

“Wow…karma’s a bitch, ain’t it, Arbuckle?” asked Tommy. Jon and Garfield turned around to face him, both of them scowling.

“Excuse me?” Jon asked. Tommy looked back at him with a grin.

“You’re finally paying for all the crap you put XCW through! And if I say so myself, you losing to a girl fits your crimes against me!

Garfield started to stomp toward The Harwood Butcher, with an angrier scowl on his face. “HOW DARE YOU—“

Tommy raised his hands up in protest, one of which had a set of brass knuckles on. “Woah, woah, woah! It’s okay, Lardo! Because Space Ghost just paid a visit to me and Claude, and announced to us that our ban from XCW’s competition has been officially LIFTED!” 

Jon and Garfield’s eyes widened in surprise!

“Claude and I can raise hell all over the fictionverse once again, and there’s nothing you, your injured dog, or your orange tub of lard can do about it!”

“OH, BUT I CAN, TOMMY!” Garfield yelled, getting into Tommy’s face. “Odie tried to help me when I didn’t need it, and last night he paid the price! I could chokeslam you onto this concrete floor and leave you lifeless if I wanted to. But you’ve had quite the losing streak since March Majesty, so as of right now, you personally have nothing to raise hell about!”

“Exactly!” Jon said, stepping up to Garfield’s side.

“It wouldn’t be that way if you guys weren’t screwing me over, along with the rest of this company!” Tommy argued. Garfield backed up, letting Jon get into the Harwood Butcher’s face.

“Well, tonight, we’re gonna shake up this company once again, because after tonight, you’ll still be on a losing streak, while Garfield will be the new number one contender for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. And when he reclaims it at Nightfire, you, Mr. Vercetti, will be the first to feel his wrath!”

Jon and Garfield stormed past Tommy, leaving him alone to look them on.

“I have nothing to raise hell about, huh? Well, that can be fixed!” Tommy said to himself before the show went back to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Television Championship!!!”

"Red Lottery" by Megasus played as the arena became engulfed in red light.

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. Now representing the Rookie Revolution. . .from Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!!!”

The crowd booed at Hotsuma as he walked onto the stage and down the ramp, looking at nothing but the ring.

“Well, we’re back live on Monday Night Massacre, where Space Ghost has already made his mark since returning to his duties as Commissioner of XCW!” Early said.

Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stood on the middle rope in a corner, glaring at the fans.

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “He’s allowed the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, and the XCW World Television Champion, Claude Speed, to visit every company in the business of fiction wrestling! They’ve already wreaked havoc by invading the WWE Royal Rumble and winning the Toon WWE Hardcore title, respectively, but who knows what more they could do!”

Hotsuma stood in the middle of the ring, staring at the stage in anticipation.

“With their words toward the Rookie Revolution and their leader, Shake, I’d say their next objective is very clear! But speaking of the Rookie Revolution, here’s their newest member, Hotsuma, who’s looking to take advantage of opportunity and win the Television Championship of the World against this man!” Early said, right before. . .

. . . pyro erupted on the stage, and "No Mercy" by Pharaoh Monche played! Claude Speed walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with a barbed-wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand, the Toon WWE Hardcore title belt around his waist, and the Televison title belt draped over his shoulder.

“And his opponent. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .he is Liberty City’s Lucifer. . .the Toon WWE Hardcore Champion. . .and the NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“This match came about after Claude and Tommy received an offer from Souichi Sagano to join him in the Rookie Revolution.” Early informed. “This revolution already has an impressive list of wrestlers from all over the fiction wrestling industry: Sagano, Greg and Rowley from WWE: Animated, Jason Krueger and Red Murdock from PCUW, and a man who, in my opinion, is the best out of all of those men, Taiki Kudo, the Z Killer in WWE: Animated, and the current AWF World Heavyweight Champion!”

Claude then entered the ring through the second rope and climbed onto the second turnbuckle, raising the Toon Hardcore title belt and the XCW Television Championship belt above his head toward the fans.

“As far as I’m concerned, the less members of this “Revolution’ XCW has, the better off we’ll be!” Shake said. “Claude and Tommy hit the nail on the head with their response to Animated’s Chris Jericho knockoff: the rookies involved are impatient and whiny, and should wait for their time to shine! And the fact that a World Heavyweight Champion such as Taiki Kudo is already taking part in this revolution is nothing short of insulting! I hope Claude does what he sets out to do right now, and that is send a message to Sagano by beating Hotsuma senseless!”

“He’s done just that since winning the Toon WWE Hardcore title, Shake!” Early said. “Everything’s been going his way. . .but will his good fortune continue tonight?”

The bell rang and the match began with Hotsuma and Claude staring each other down in opposite corners. They then charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring, upon which, Claude kicked Hotsuma in the leg, and nailed him in the face with a right hand. Claude continued to hit Hotsuma in the face with a punch combination that backed him up against the ropes behind him. Claude then grabbed Hotsuma by the arm and Irish whipped him to ropes on the other side of the ring, and on the bounceback, took him down with a massive Clothesline! Claude went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out!!!

Claude pulled Hotsuma up to his feet. . .only for Hotsuma to surprise him with an immediate chop to the sternum. Claude winced in pain as Hotsuma nailed him with another unforgiving chop! Hotsuma hit Claude repeatedly with chop after chop until he was backed into a corner. Hotsuma then latched onto the ropes on both sides of the corner and rammed Claude with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Claude fell into a seated position. Hotsuma then stepped toward the opposite corner, raising his arm above his head, the Rookie Rebellion wristband facing the crowd. They booed back at him as he charged toward the corner, looking for a knee to Claude’s face. . .

. . .but Claude spun out of the way, forcing Hotsuma to hit his foot on the turnbuckle! Hotsuma sold his leg in pain as Claude slid out of the ring from under the bottom rope. Claude then grabbed onto Hotsuma’s legs and pulled him out of the ring, forcing the referee to begin the ten count! Claude pushed Hotsuma up against the ring apron and went for another clothesline, only for Hotsuma to spin out of the way, causing Claude to hit the ring apron chest-first! Hotsuma then grabbed Claude’s back for a back drop. . .only for Claude to drop out of it and Irish whip Hotsuma chest first into the announcer’s table! The referee’s count is at four by this point. 

Claude then nailed Hotsuma right between the eyes with a right hand, then Irish whipped him right into the steel steps, with Hotsuma colliding into them with a sickening thud!!! 

“The Television Champion of the World taking care of Hotsuma in one of the ways he knows how: by implementing his hardcore instincts by using the ring environment as a weapon!” Early said, as Claude grabbed Hotsuma’s foot, pulled it up. . .and rammed his knee against the concrete floor! Claude then pulled Hotsuma up to his feet. . .only for the Rookie Revolution member to surprise him with an eye rake! Hotsuma then slammed the Television Champion’s head against the ring apron as the count reached eight. Hotsuma then forced Claude back into the ring under the bottom rope and followed right behind him. Hotsuma then went into the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out!!! Hotsuma pulled Claude up to his feet only for Claude to meet him with an uppercut! Claude kicked Hotsuma square in the gut before running against the ropes. On the bounceback, Claude went for the Bicycle Kick, but Hotsuma evaded it by running against the ropes behind him! After the bounceback, Hotsuma took him down with a Bulldog! 

“But the newest member of the Rookie Revolution evading the dagger in Claude’s arsenal, and he now finds himself in the driver’s seat in this title match!” Shake observed, as Hotsuma pulled Claude up by his collar, and took him back down with a Scoop Slam. Hotsuma then surprised Claude by landing a quick falling elbow to his sternum! Hotsuma went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out! Hotsuma then knelt down and locked Claude into a chokehold, with Claude gasping and fighting for air. . .

. . .until Claude fought to stand up to his feet, and hit Hotsuma hard in the face with furious elbows, forcing him to break the hold!!! Claude then turned around to face his opponent and hit him in the face with another punch combination, followed by a throat thrust! Claude then took down Hotsuma with a huge DDT! Claude went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out!!! Claude rolled onto his chest and struggled to push himself up to his feet while Hotsuma staggered back up. They met in the center of the ring and traded more right hands, with the crowd cheering in unison with Claude’s punches, while booing along with Hotsuma’s. They continue to hit each other with right hand after right hand until Hotsuma surprised the champion with a quick left hand! With Claude dazed, Hotsuma then took him down with a neckbreaker! Hotsuma quickly got up and turned to face Claude, who was rushing up to a standing position. Claude ran toward him, going for a clothesline. . .

. . .but Hotsuma dodged it, and took down Claude with a Powerslam!!! Hotsuma went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!! Hotsuma couldn’t believe it! 

“For a second there, Shake, I thought we had a new Television Champion!” Early said, as Hotsuma pulled Claude up by the hair. . .

. . .only for the Champion to nail him in the face with a left hand! Claude then took down his challenger with a Reverse DDT! Claude then spun toward a corner and stalked Hotsuma, waiting for him to stand up. 

“And Claude now, regaining the upper hand, as we reach the climax of this one-on-one matchup, with the Television Championship on the line!” Early called, as Hotsuma staggered up to a standing position, upon which Claude ran toward him. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH A SPEAR!!! Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 HOTSUMA’S FOOT WAS ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!! Claude groaned in frustrated disappointment before getting off and stepping to the opposite side of the ring, taunting for Hotsuma to get up by flipping him off! Hotsuma slowly rose up to his feet, as Claude charged toward him. . .

. . .only for Hotsuma to evade the Bicycle Kick yet again, causing Claude to fall over the ropes, and onto the ring apron. Claude pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes, only for Hotsuma to grab him by his jacket collar and pull him back into the ring. . .but leaving his feet on the middle rope—

\--BEFORE TAKING HIM DOWN WITH A HANGMAN’S DDT!!! Hotsuma then did the cut throat taunt as he waited for Claude to stand up.

“Hotsuma is so close to making a big statement not only to his new stable, but also to all of XCW!” Shake commented, as a still groggy Claude got to his feet. Hotsuma then leapt up for the Akujiki. . .

. . .but Claude shoved Hotsuma toward the ropes in front of him! Hotsuma bounced back—

\--AND WAS MET WITH THE BICYCLE KICK FROM CLAUDE!!! The crowd erupted into cheers from the impact!!!

“BUT CLAUDE PUTS AN EXCLAMATION POINT AT THE END OF HIS!!!” Early declared, as Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

Claude stood up and pumped his fists into the air in celebration as the bell rang!

“The winner of this match. . .AND STILL THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

The referee handed Claude the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship and the XCW World Television Championship belt and rose his arm above his head in victory.

“Hotsuma put up a hell of a fight, but it wasn’t enough to win the TV title from Claude!” Early said, as Claude climbed onto a top rope and held both titles above his head.

“You got that right! What a match these two put on here tonight!” Shake said in agreement. “Now what’s Hotsuma gonna say to Sagano and the rest of the Rookie Revolution?”

“I have no idea, Shake! But what’s for sure is that Claude Speed is still the XCW Television Champion of the World, and if you’re looking for a fight against him, his fight will be even bigger!” Early said, until--

“Hey Claude!”

\--Bugs Bunny stepped onto the stage with a microphone in hand! 

“Wait a minute!” Early said, surprised! “It’s Bugs Bunny!”

“What’s he doing out here?” Shake wondered, as Bugs stepped down the ramp and continued to speak.

“Claude, I’m not looking for a fight with you. You know I’m not like that. I’m out here because I wanted to personally congratulate you on your victory last night. Out of all three of us men, you came out on top, and proved yourself then, and tonight that you are one of the best young talents this industry has to offer.”

Claude stepped off the turnbuckle as Bugs entered the ring from above the second rope, standing across from him.

“However, that being said. . .I wasn’t the man you pinned last night to win that title.” Bugs said with a smirk. “And I know I can beat you one-on-one when given the chance. So, Claude, I’m offering you this challenge: you and me, one-on-one for the XCW World Television Championship at Nightfire! What do you say?”

Claude stood surprised, but determined in the center of the ring as Bugs offered him the microphone. He took it and began to speak.

“What do I say? I say that’s a match everybody would want to see! I say that’s a match to remember! I say. . .

. . .YOU’RE ON FOR NIGHTFIRE!!!”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Claude and Bugs shook hands in the ring!

“Well, there you have it, folks! We’ve got a dream match on our hands at Endgame!” Shake declared.

“It’s a match between two men with the utmost respect for each other! A match pitting old school versus new school! Claude Speed will defend the XCW World Television Championship against Bugs Bunny at Nightfire!”

Claude and Bugs stared each other down as the show went to a commercial break.

As Massacre returned from break, Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny stood in their locker room knocking back sodas with Carl Brutanandilewski in between them with a microphone in hand.

“South Park Four, allow me to congratulate you on not only becoming the new XCW Tag Team Champions last night at Endgame, but also on claiming the XCW Hardcore Championship upon the resurrection of the Extremist, Kenny McCormick. What are your plans going forward?”

“Oh, Carl, you have no idea!” Cartman assured. “Now that we’re the tag team champions, we’re gonna make sure that we STAY the tag team champions. And when an Enforcer like me, and a leader like Stan hold these belts, fighting us for them is easier said than done. Whether the situation calls for weapons, fists, or flat-out wrestling, we will come after our opponents from all sides! D-Generation Ed learned this the hard way last night, and look at them now! They’re about to announce their retirement. So, if you’ll excuse us, Carl, me and the Bad Boys of Comedy Central have a lot to celebrate tonight. Bring it in, guys! WE ARE!”

Kenny, Stan and Kyle raised their belts and hands respectively up in the air, against each of them.

“SOUTH PARK!” the rest of the team screamed.

“WE ARE!” Cartman yelled, continuing the war cry.

“SOUTH PARK!” 

“WE ARE!”

“SOUTH PARK!!”

The South Park Four continued their war cry until the show went back to the arena, where Early Cuyler and Master Shake sat at their announcer’s table.

“Well, the South Park Four may be the new XCW Tag Team Champions, but all they said just now shows me that they’re a very conceited bunch!” Shake said.

“You’re absolutely right, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “And we are still slated to hear from the former Tag Team Champions, D-Generation Ed, about what they plan to do next. Shake, there’s no way they’re disbanding now, is there?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Shake said, until the bell rang, and Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall. . .it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event for the evening. . .and it is for the Number One Contendership of the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario posed on the stage to a mixed reaction.

“Introducing first. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .MARIO!!!”

“On the way to the ring right now is the rightful number one contender to the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, the first man to hold the very belt, Mario!” Early informed, as Mario ran down the ramp. 

“You got that right!” Shake said in agreement. “Last night, he won the right to face Tai Kamiya for the belt at Nightfire by defeating Tommy Vercetti in a one-on-one match. However, our now former Commissioner, Jon Arbuckle, in an act of anger, forced Mario to put his contendership on the line, right here, right now, against the former World Heavyweight Champion, and to say he’s one angry cat would be an understatement!”

Mario climbed onto a top rope and the saluted the fans with a peace sign. Mario stepped off the turnbuckle as. . .

. . .”Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played! Garfield stomped down the ramp with Jon Arbuckle at his side, and an incensed, focused look on his face.

“And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“I shudder to think about what Garfield and Jon have planned for Mario here tonight, Shake!” Early said. “Not only did Garfield lose the World Heavyweight title last night to Tai, but Jon Arbuckle lost a one-on-one match against Tai’s wife, Sora Takenouchi, upon Space Ghost’s return to his post as Commissioner!”

Garfield stepped over all three ropes and glared around the arena with a look of anger at all the fans, who showered him with a chorus of boos.

“No doubt, Early!” Shake said. “They’ve got to be fuming with the way things are going for them right now. And when that is the case, Garfield is at his most destructive. I don’t know about you, but I fear for Mario’s safety!”

The bell rang and the match began with Garfield and Mario standing across from each other in the ring. Garfield suddenly charged toward the Champion of Life and threw him down to the mat by latching onto his face and planting him down! Garfield then lifted Mario up and took him down with a Scoop Slam! Garfield then grabbed Mario by the arm, and Irish whipped him hard against the ropes behind him. After Mario bounced back, Garfield slugged him in the face with a massive uppercut, knocking him down to the mat! Garfield went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Garfield. . .pulled Mario’s shoulders up?

“Garfield’s not looking to win this match. . .he’s looking to tear Mario limb from limb!” Early said.

“He did this last night to Tai and it came back to haunt him!” Shake said. “Garfield better think twice!”

Garfield grabbed Mario by the overalls and lifted him high above his head. Garfield then launched Mario out of the ring. . .and right onto the announcer’s table, with Mario bouncing off it like a basketball onto the concrete floor! Mario sold his lower back in pain as Garfield climbed over all three ropes and stepped onto the ringside floor. Garfield then wailed on Mario’s midsection with a massive kick that sent Mario flying back-first into the announcer’s table! Garfield then loomed over his opponent with a look of malice on his face as the referee’s count reached three. Garfield then grabbed onto Mario and pulled him up by the shoulders, lifting him up high above his head for a two-handed chokebomb!

“My God! Mario might be done for!” Early declared, as he stared at Mario with eyes incensed with anger. . .

. . .but Mario fought out of Garfield’s grasp, and wrapped his arms around his neck for dear life, putting the fat cat into a headlock! Garfield faltered a bit, only to grab onto Mario’s sides and pull him off his head. Garfield then slid Mario into the ring under the bottom rope before climbing onto the ring apron and entering the ring, breaking the referee’s count. Garfield went to pick Mario back up again. . .but Mario rolled away, and pushed himself up to his feet. Mario ran toward the fat cat and kicked him in the legs, bringing him down to one knee. Mario then put Garfield into another headlock. . .

. . .and brought him back down to the mat, wrenching on the fat cat’s neck! After a while, however, Garfield would push himself up to his knees, and then back to a standing position. . .with Mario holding on for dear life!!! Garfield then pulled Mario off his head and let him go, sending Mario to freefall face-first onto the mat! Garfield went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out, much to Garfield’s chagrin!!!

“And somehow Mario still has some life left in this matchup!” Early said, as Garfield pulled Mario back up to a standing position, only for Mario to surprise him with a chop to the midsection! Mario continued to slap Garfield in the chest with chop after chop until he was backed up against the ropes. Mario then grabbed Garfield by the hand and Irish whipped him toward the opposite side of the ring, and on the bounceback, Mario dropkicked Garfield in the lower sternum, sending the fat cat crashing on his back to the mat! Mario leapt toward Garfield and whacked him in the face with an elbow before climbing up to the top rope!

“Could Mario be looking at the Super Mario Splash right now???” Shake wondered, as Mario raised a peace sign in the air!

“I have no idea, Shake!” Early said. “What’s left in Mario’s arsenal that he could use against the big man?”

Mario leapt off the top rope. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH!!! Mario went for the cover 1. . .2. . .

. . .GARFIELD POWERED OUT!!! Mario flew in the air, landing toward a corner. Garfield rose up to his feet and lumbered toward the Champion of Life. Garfield grabbed him by the overalls and lifted him up. . .only to take him back down with a sidewalk slam!!! Garfield then stood up and ran against the ropes behind him. . .

. . .leapt for a Big Splash. . .

. . .but Mario rolled out of the way, causing Garfield to land onto the mat face first!!! Garfield roared in pain, selling his head from the injuries suffered the night before. Mario backed up to a corner, waiting for Garfield to stand up. Garfield rose to one knee. . .only for Mario to take him down with a Chop Block! Mario then grabbed the fat cat’s legs and locked him in the Boston Crab submission hold!!! Garfield screamed in pain as the referee asked him if he wanted to quit but he shook his head no, and crawled toward the ropes!

“Mario is now on the verge of retaining his contendership for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!!! Will he tame the beast that is Garfield???” Early wondered, as Garfield writhed in pain for a few more seconds. . .

. . .before tapping out!!! However. . .

. . .Jon Arbuckle had stepped onto the ring apron, distracting the referee!!!

“Damn it! Arbuckle’s gotten desperate!!!” Early cried as Arbuckle and the referee continued arguing!!! Mario let go of the submission hold and ran toward Arbuckle, with a fist cocked back. . .

. . .ONLY FOR ARBUCKLE TO PULL THE REFEREE IN FRONT OF HIM, CAUSING MARIO TO NAIL HIM WITH A PUNCH TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! The referee crumbled to the mat, selling his head as Arbuckle stepped back onto the ringside floor. He threw up his arms, protesting his innocence while Mario stared him down angrily. . .unaware that Garfield had pulled himself up with the ropes!!! Mario turned around to face his opponent. . .

. . .WHO IMMEDIATELY GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT!!! 

“. . .aaand reality sets in.” said a disappointed Shake, as Garfield raised Mario high above his head, and slammed him down with a Chokeslam!!! Garfield kneeled down for a pin attempt. . .

. . .until he heard a chair shot from ringside!!! Garfield looked to the ringside floor nearest the ramp to see that Jon Arbuckle had been knocked down with a chair shot from. . .

“WAIT A MINUTE!!!” Early cried. “IT’S TOMMY VERCETTI!!! WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING OUT HERE???”

Tommy continued to whack Jon Arbuckle in the back with chair shot after chair shot until he saw Garfield walking toward the ropes inside the ring. Tommy then slid into the ring in between the fat cat and the corner, and rammed the chair right into Garfield’s abdomen, before nailing him square in the face with it, knocking him down and re-busting open his wounds from the night before!!! With the crowd in a frenzy, Tommy taunted for Garfield to get up to his feet!!!

“Arbuckle and Garfield said that Tommy had nothing to raise hell about, Early!” Shake said. “And he’s looking to raise it right now!!!”

“Tommy was screwed over at the hands of Arbuckle and company on multiple occasions too, Shake!” Early added. “And now he’s looking for payback!”

Garfield stumbled up to his feet and turned around. . .only for Tommy to lift him off his feet with all his might. . .

. . .AND SLAM HIM ONTO THE CHAIR WITH A STANDING SPINEBUSTER!!! Tommy then grabbed the chair and baseball slid out of the ring, throwing the referee back into the ring before darting to the stage! Meanwhile, Mario crawled toward the fat cat for a pin attempt!!!

“BAH GAWD!!!” Early said. “I think the former World Champion may be out cold!”

Mario climbed on top of Garfield for a cover! The referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“AND MARIO IS STILL THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER!!!” screamed Early, as Mario rolled off Garfield, gasping for breath after the bell rang!

“The winner of this match. . .MARIO!!!”

Jon Arbuckle pushed himself up to his feet at ringside, looking up at the ring to see the referee raise Mario’s arm in victory!!

“It has been a horrible 24 hours for that man, Jon Arbuckle, and his pet, the monster Garfield.” Shake said. “He’s tried to manipulate every outcome in his favor since the World title match last night, and just when he and Garfield think they’ve won, karma sets in!”

“And Arbuckle’s gotten what he’s deserved here tonight, Shake!” Early said, as Jon turned around and started Tommy Vercetti down with a malicious glare. “He’s learned a cold, hard truth: that karma is, indeed, a bitch!” 

“However, Early, I have a feeling that Tommy has started something he may soon regret!”

Tommy stared Jon back down with an equally contemptuous stare as he backed up toward the stage, and back to the backstage area, while Mario climbed onto a top turnbuckle and raised a peace sign high above his head toward the audience.

“Unfortunately, you may be right about that, Early.” Shake said. “But thanks to him, justice was served, and Mario successfully retained his number one contendership for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship! Which means at Nightfire, he will compete for the title he was the first to hold here in XCW against the current champion, Tai Kamiya!”

“And in that matchup, not only is the XCW World title on the line, but so may be Mario’s status as the star of this company! It’s gonna be an epic clash between a legend in this business, and a man who has resurrected his career! I can’t wait!” Shake said excitedly before the show went to the backstage area, where Ed and Edd walked down a hallway with serious looks on their faces.

“Well, Shake, up next we will see D-Generation Ed address the audience about where they go from here after losing the XCW Tag Team titles! Could this be the end of D-Generation Ed?” Early asked before the show went to a commercial break.

As Massacre returned from break, all the lights went off in the arena. Suddenly. . .the following words came from the titantron.

"ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratched on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, Nazz, Rolf, Ed and Edd stepped onto the stage and walked down the ramp, their faces stoic as the crowd continued cheering.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome. . .Ed and Double D. . .D-GENERATION ED!!!”

“Well, right now, we’re seeing an unusually collected and serious entrance from D-Generation Ed here tonight, and I can’t say I blame them, Early!” Shake said, as Rolf and Nazz slid into the ring under the ropes while Ed and Edd climbed up the steel steps.

“Neither can I, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “Last night, they were outnumbered by the South Park Four, up to the point where they couldn’t stop their leader, Stan Marsh, from stealing a victory, and the XCW Tag Team Championships. And now they’re out here to make an announcement of sorts. But Shake, the speculation about what this announcement would be about started late last night, when they posted a Tweet last night from their Twitter account @DGenerationEd, where they said ‘That was a tough loss to swallow. To a few guys, our news tomorrow night will be even tougher.’ Shake, many people believe that this implied the end of D-Generation Ed. Do you believe that to be the case?”

Nazz, Ed, Edd and Rolf stood next to each other in the center of the ring, with the Eds holding microphones in their hands as the lights went up, and the music stopped, the cheers of the crowd dominating the arena.

“I honestly hope not, Early!” answered Shake. “D-Generation Ed was ranked number one on a list of the best tag teams in all of fiction wrestling earlier this year! And if you listen to the crowd, the last thing they want to see is D-Ed bow out like that! Let’s see what they have to say.”

“Boy. . .where to begin?” Edd asked, looking at the crowd with a disappointed look on his face. “It’s safe to say that a common theme of the past couple nights is how the mighty have fallen. Just look at Garfield!”

The crowd erupted into boos upon his mention.

“A month ago, he was the World Heavyweight Champion, only to lose his title last night in one of the best matches this young company has ever seen. And a month ago, his owner, Jon Arbuckle was our Commissioner, only for Space Ghost to return out of nowhere, and take his job back. And now, we come to us.”

“We were the most decorated stable in this company a month ago. Nazz was the Women’s Champion, Rolf was a Hardcore Champion last night, and of course, Ed and I were the XCW Tag Team Champions. But then fate reared its ugly head, and now we stand here in the same position that Garfield is in right now, and Mario was in just a month ago, and last night, we all were uncertain about our future.”

The crowd began to chant “PLEASE DON’T GO! PLEASE DON’T GO!” as Edd lowered his head, trying to collect his bearings. After a beat, Edd looked back up at the fans, confident and determined.

“But you know what else is a common theme of the past few nights? A common theme of the past few nights. . .is CHANGE!!! You see, with all these sudden shifts and changes, Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling is on its way to bigger and better things, and there is no way in hell that D-Generation Ed is going to run away and cower from it because of them! Instead, we will adapt to the changes at the top, and therefore, change along with them! We are going to make ourselves better as the competition gets tougher, not just in the tag team division, but in every singles division this company has to offer!!! So this, my friends, is not the end of D-Generation Ed. This is simply. . .A NEW BEGINNING!!!”

The crowd suddenly became silent, awaiting Edd’s next words.

“So our announcement to all of you right now, right here at the South Island, is that D-Generation Ed. . .has a new leader!!!”

“What?” Early asked in surprise as Edd smiled at the crowd. He then turned to face Ed.

“Ed, will you do the honors?”

“With, pleasure, Double D!” Ed said happily before clenching the microphone, and starts to yell into it with an intense, excited look on his face.

“LLLLLLLLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMEN. . .boys and girls, children of all ages! D-Generation Ed proudly brings to you, the single greatest—FICTIONAL TAG TEAM IN THE WOOOOOOOOORLD. . .”

Ed pointed at Rolf. 

“. . .the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf!”

Ed pointed to Nazz at his right.

“. . .the Assistant With Assets, Nazz!!!”

Ed pointed to Edd right next to him.

“. . .the Sockhead, Double D!”

Ed pointed at himself.  
“. . .the Monobrowed Monster, Ed. . .”

Ed, Edd, Nazz and Rolf then turned to look at the stage, with Ed sticking his arm out toward it.

“. . .AND OUR. . .NEW. . .LEADER!!!”

The arena went silent after a beat. . .until. . .

. . .

. . .”TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!”

“The Game” by Motorhead played!!!

“Wait a minute. . .” Shake said in excitement.

“It can’t be!!!” Early exclaimed, as the arena became engulfed in green light!

“The Cerebral Assassin is in XCW???” Shake asked in complete and utter disbelief!

A figure then walked onto the stage, completely covered in the darkness of the stage, which was the only still-dark section of the arena. Green lights then went up on the stage, revealing the figure to be holding a water bottle, wearing D-Generation Ed merchandise, and looking down at the stage deep in thought. The figure then looked up at the ring, revealing himself to be. . .

“EDDY!!! IT’S EDDY! THE THIRD AND FINAL ED OF THE PEACH CREEK CUL-DE-SAC HAS JOINED XCW!!!” Early screamed, as Eddy poured some of the water onto his head before walking down the ramp, to a standing ovation from the crowd!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Shake exclaimed. “THIS PLACE HAS ERUPTED!!! D-GENERATION ED HAS A NEW LEADER, AND HIS NAME IS MISTER EDDY!!!”

Once Eddy made it to the foot of the ramp, he stopped and looked up at his smiling friends in the ring and smiled back at them. Eddy then took a swig of water and walked to the front side of the ring, and climbed onto the ring apron. 

“I don’t know if I’d call him that anymore, Shake!” Early said. “But regardless, XCW has picked up one of the most popular characters in this industry today!”

Eddy glared at the crowd from the ring apron before looking up at the lights and spitting a huge mist of water up into the air! Eddy then looked down and let out an intense yell of excitement before spitting a smaller mist out, and entering the ring.

“I’ll say! Not only is he the current PCUW World Heavyweight Champion, but he’s also a former PCUW Television Champion, and CWF Champion!” Shake informed while Eddy came to the center of the ring and shook Rolf’s hand, then hugged Nazz.

“However, his reign as CWF Champion was nothing short of controversial, because he had forced his old friends, Ed and Edd, out of CWF beforehand! Why rejoin forces with them now?” Shake wondered, as Eddy turned to look at Ed and Edd.

“That’s a question on everybody’s mind, Shake. But as of right now. . .” Early said. . .

. . .before the Eds met up in a group hug! The crowd cheered once again for the friendly, welcoming gesture.

“. . .EDDY HAS REUNITED WITH HIS FRIENDS, ED AND EDD! EDDY IS A NEW MEMBER OF THE XCW ROSTER! BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, EDDY IS THE NEW LEADER OF D-GENERATION ED!!!”

Eddy then stepped in front of Ed and Edd, with Rolf and Nazz standing on opposite sides of the ring. All five members of D-Generation Ed then did the DX Crotch Chop in the ring, with pyro going off on all four turnbuckles!

“In the span of twenty-four hours, the landscape, and the complexion of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling has been drastically changed!” Early declared. “Tai Kamiya is the new XCW Heavyweight Champion of the World! Space Ghost is the new Commissioner! But most shocking of all, the two-time World Champion Eddy is the new leader of D-Generation Ed!!!”

Eddy did Triple H’s signature poses in the ring, with the Eds, Nazz and Rolf posing triumphantly behind him as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Results 

Stan Marsh defeated Luigi  
Kenny McCormick defeated Luigi (wins XCW Hardcore Championship)  
Sora Takenouchi defeated Jon Arbuckle  
Claude Speed defeated Hotsuma (retains XCW World Television Championship)  
Mario defeated Garfield (retains Number One Contendership for XCW World Heavyweight Championship)

And so concludes another edition of Monday Night Massacre. Let me know if there's anything that doesn't make sense, and how I need to improve my promo writing. Until next time, READ AND REVIEW!!!


	26. XCW Rewind: May Recap

**A/N: Hey fans! Long time, no update! Here’s a recap chapter of the events of the last two weeks of May in XCW! I only own my championships.**

 

The original ECW theme song played in the background as Early Cuyler and Master Shake sat on barstools next to each other in front of a giant HD television inside a locker room.

  
“Hello, folks!” Early said. “Welcome to XCW Rewind, a monthly special show recapping the events of this past month of XCW Monday Night Massacre! You see, due to the Fanfiction Wrestling Awards, and Best in the World hype, the network had no option but to schedule Monday Night Massacre so late at night, not even the crazies could watch it!”

 

“But here we are now, just mere hours away from our next pay-per-view, Nightfire, about to explain to tell all you fans exactly what you missed on our show these last couple weeks. . .starting with D-Generation Ed and The Ed Factor!”

 

Shake and Early turned around to face the TV as Early turned it on, showing footage of the Ed Factor.

 

“On this edition of The Ed Factor, D-Generation Ed welcomed their new leader, Eddy, to their stable and XCW by interviewing him about exactly why he came to XCW, and reunited with them in the first place! This is what Eddy had to say. . .”  


_The show cut to the ring, where Eddy sat on a chair opposite Ed and Edd, with the ring decorated with a red carpet, and a plasma screen TV hanging from a fixture._

_“Well, Sockhead, I’ll tell you why I finally made the jump to XCW. If you and all these fans remember, the last time you all saw me in a CWF ring before my recent return there, I was laid out and knocked unconscious by that asshole Bart Simpson.”_  
  
The crowd booed at Bart’s mention.

_“He bruised me, he broke a few of my bones, and he gave me a massive concussion. . .but I really should’ve thanked Bart, because that beating knocked a whole lot of sense in me. You see, when I was Mr. Eddy, and the leader of Power, Inc., I had forgotten who I was. I let my greed and lust for power go to my head, and I paid the price for it. And while I was recovering in the hospital from my injuries and concussion, I realized that I had lost sight of what was really important, and that was being a friend to you and Lumpy.”_

_The crowd cheered upon Eddy’s statement._

_“So when I finally left the hospital for the last time, I left a new man. But while I still love money, what I love more than that is our friendship, and the brotherhood we’ve shared since infancy. We’ve went to school together, we’ve gone on adventures together, we’ve won tag team championships in multiple companies together, hell, we started our own wrestling company together, and took it from the ground up to a three-way tie for first place in the ratings! So I am here now in XCW, with our camaraderie rekindled, and a stable strengthened. All that’s left is for us to reclaim what is ours, and claim this company in the name of ED!!!”_

_The crowd erupted into cheers, but quickly turned into boos as “What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played! Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick and Eric Cartman walked onto the stage and down the ramp with microphones in hand to massive boos from the fans!_

_“Well, here come the current XCW Tag Team Champions, and Shake, I think they’ve heard enough!” Early said._  
  
“You got that right!” Shake said in agreement, until Stan yelled. . .  
  
“CUT THE DAMN MUSIC!!!” The song abruptly cut off as Stan stared down the Eds as he and the South Park Four reached the ring apron. “I can’t take any more of this bullcrap!”

_“It’s one thing to turn your name into a brand, and paste it all over a bunch of merchandise. But THIS??? This is a new low, even for you guys! You three have been kissing each other’s ass since this show has started, and you all have no reason to!”_

_Eric Cartman stepped forward and put his microphone up to his mouth._  
  
“You three haven’t even come close to our greatness, and if you look at yourselves right now, you’ll know it!” Cartman declared. “We don’t need flashy merchandise, our own wrestling company, or confess our love for each other like you three dorks! We are the epitome of a great tag team!”

_Kyle stepped forward and put their microphones up to their mouths, amidst chants of “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” from the crowd._  
  
“When you talk about a team that has masculinity. . .”

_“. . .mmmpph mmmph mph. . .” muffled Kenny._

_“. . .toughness. . .” Cartman said._

_“. . .and leadership. . .” Stan finished, before letting Kyle finish speaking._

_“. . .look no further than us! And we don’t need to kiss each other’s ass to prove our friendship to each other. Instead, we band together to kick asses! And if you two want a shot at our XCW Tag Team titles, you’re gonna have to go through us first!”_

 

Back in the backstage area, Shake and Early watched the events unfold on the television.

  
“Wow, harsh words from the Submission Specialist, Kyle Broflovski.” commented Shake.

  
“You’re absolutely right, Shake!” Early agreed. “And Eddy would respond to them by challenging Kyle to a one-on-one match right at that second, where if Eddy won, he and a member of D-Ed would face Stan and Cartman for the titles at Endgame! Let’s fast-forward to the exciting conclusion of that matchup!”

 

 _The show cut back to the ring, where Kyle had Eddy locked into the Figure-Four Leg Lock in the center of the ring! Eddy screamed in agonizing pain as he crawled toward the bottom rope!_  
  
“The end is near for D-Generation Ed’s new leader!” Early declared. “Will he tap out???”

_Eddy extended his arm out. . ._

_. . .inched closer and closer. . ._

_. . .and successfully grabbed onto the bottom rope, prompting the referee to order Kyle to break the hold. . .but Kyle didn’t let go!!! The referee made the five count, until Kyle let go at four. Kyle then backed up to the center of the ring, taunting Eddy to get up._

_“The Submission Specialist now looking to put Eddy away with a South Park Stunner!” Early said, as Eddy staggered up to his feet._  
  
“Welcome to XCW, Eddy!” Kyle exclaimed, as Eddy turned around, and Kyle kicked Eddy in the sternum---

_\---NO! Eddy caught Kyle’s leg in time! Eddy then threw Kyle’s leg down and clocked him in the face with a clothesline! Eddy and Kyle then stood up and charged toward each other. . .upon which, Eddy met him with a Facebuster! As Kyle sold the facebuster, Eddy Irish whipped him toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Eddy lifted Kyle up and took him down with an AA Spinebuster!!! Eddy then stood up and gave Kyle the DX crotch chop, taunting for him to stand up!_

_“Eddy now back in control!” Shake exclaimed. “What’s he gonna do here???”_

_Kyle slowly rose to his feet and turned around to face Eddy, who kicked him in the midsection. . ._

_. . .hooked both arms. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK KYLE DOWN WITH THE EDIGREE!!!_

_“PEDIGREE! Eddy got him with the Pedigree!” Shake screamed._

_“It’s not just the Pedigree, Shake!” corrected Early, as Eddy went for the cover, hooking the leg!_

  1. _. .2. . .3!!!_



_Eddy stood up from the cover and did Triple H’s signature pose as the bell rang!_

_“The winner of this match. . .EDDY!!!”_  
  
“If I know Eddy, he calls that the EDIGREE!” Early said. “And with that very move, he solidified his status as a member of the XCW roster, and as D-Generation Ed’s leader!”

_The referee raised Eddy’s arm in victory as Kyle rolled out of the ring, walking up the ramp with Stan and Cartman with malicious looks directed right at the Eds, who were in the ring congratulating Eddy on his win._

Back in the backstage area, Early and Shake watched the events unfold on the television.

 

“And with that victory, the match was made! Eddy and Ed of D-Generation Ed will take on Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman for the XCW Tag Team Championship at Nightfire!” Shake said. “The last match between these two teams had everyone on the edge of their seat. . .I can only imagine what will happen with a two-time World Champion involved now!”

 

“The South Park Four have a lot going on at Nightfire, not only with the Tag Team Championship, but with Kenny McCormick’s XCW Hardcore Championship as well!” Early said. “The Extremist of South Park accompanied Stan and Cartman at ringside to their main event match against Mario and Luigi, who lost the Hardcore title to Kenny the week prior via the 24/7 rule! What resulted was a collision course with wackiness!”

 

_The show cut back to the ring, where Luigi and Stan Marsh traded punches in the center of the ring, until Luigi surprised Stan with a left hand!!! Luigi then Irish whipped Stan across the ring, toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Luigi lifted Stan and took him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex!!! Luigi then charged toward the South Park Four’s corner and nailed Cartman with a huge elbow to the face that knocked him off the ring apron and down to the ringside floor!_

_“Luigi’s like a house of fire!” declared Early. “And now he’s looking to put the final dagger into Stan’s heart, in the form of the Super Mario Splash!!!”_

_Luigi climbed up to the top rope and sized Stan up for the Super Mario Splash. . .only to hear muffling at ringside from. . ._

_. . .Kenny McCormick, who was taunting him with the Hardcore title belt!_  
  
“Wait a minute! What the hell is Kenny McCormick doing?” Early wondered, as Luigi turned to look at Kenny, then back to Stan, then to the referee.

_  
“He’s looking to keep the Mario brothers from winning the match by distracting the legal man! And no better way to do that than with the title he used to hold!”_

_  
Luigi pointed at Kenny while yelling something to the referee, while Mario from the opposite corner screamed “NO! NO! DON’T DO IT!”_

_“Look at Mario! He’s furious! What’s Luigi gonna do???” asked Early. . .until Luigi leapt off the top rope toward Kenny. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR KENNY TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY, CAUSING LUIGI TO LAND FACE-FIRST ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!_

_“BAH GAWD!!!” Early screamed. “Luigi went for the Hardcore title, instead of the victory for him and his brother, and he may be knocked right into next week!”_

_“And Mario’s on his way to give The Extremist a piece of his mind!” Shake declared, as Mario jumped off the ring apron._

Back in the backstage area, Early and Shake watched the footage on TV, which featured Kenny pointing at Luigi and laughing at him, completely unaware that Mario was lumbering toward him at ringside!  


“To say the match ended in chaos was an understatement!” The XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya was doing commentary at the time and even he got involved with his opponent at Nightfire!” Shake informed.

 

“Tempers would flare once again between them the next week, but we’ll show that a little later, Shake!” Early said. “But Tai was keeping an eye on Mario for more than just scouting purposes. Earlier in the night, Tai’s wife, Sora Takenouchi, was in a one-on-one match against Nazz with the number one contendership for the XCW Women’s Championship on the line! But Mario and his wife, the current Women’s Champion, Peach, had other ideas.”  
  
 _The show cut back to the ring, where Nazz slowly pushed herself up to her feet, while Sora pulled herself up with the ropes on the right side of the ring._

_“These two women want nothing more than a shot at the XCW Women’s Championship!” Early declared. “Who’s going to Nightfire???”_

_Sora and Nazz turned around to face each other and got into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Nazz lifted Sora for a fireman’s carry, but Sora dropped out of it, put Nazz in a waist-lock, and took her down with two consecutive German suplexes!!! Sora then pulled Nazz back up. . .went for another German suplex. . ._

_. . .but Nazz surprised Sora with an elbow to the face! Nazz nailed her with one more elbow to force Sora to let go! Nazz then latched Sora into a headlock. . ._

_“NAZZ FOUGHT OUT OF THE TRIO OF SUPLEXES!!!” Early screamed. “NOW GOING FOR ALL THAT---“_  
  
. . .leapt toward the ropes, bouncing off the top rope for All That Nazz. . .

_. . .ONLY FOR SORA TO FIGHT OUT OF IT AND LOCK NAZZ IN THE CROSSFACE ON THE WAY DOWN!!!!_

_“NO! SORA COUNTERED INTO THE CROSSFACE! SHE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN!!!” Early yelled unintelligibly. Nazz screamed in agonizing pain as the referee knelt down and asked her if she wanted to quit. Nazz vigorously shook her head no, letting out an intense shriek as she inched toward the ropes._

_“These two women have put on a wrestling clinic!” Shake declared. “They’re fighting to the bitter end!!!”_

_“And the end is sadly near for D-Ed’s Assistant with Assets, but Sora Takenouchi may get one more shot---WAIT A MINUTE!!!” Early exclaimed, as down the ramp to massive boos came. . ._

_“PEACH!!!” Shake yelled. “What the hell is Peach doing out here???”_

_Peach slid into the ring and broke up the submission hold, forcing the referee to call for the bell to be rang!_

_“DAMN IT!!! SHE DOESN’T WANT TO FACE SORA!!!” Early screamed. “Sora had this match won until Peach came into the picture!”_

_Peach knelt over Sora and hammered away at her face with thunderous slaps and right hands, while Nazz sold her head as she struggled to pull herself up with the ropes. Peach then pulled Sora up to her feet, lifted her up and took her back down with a Gutbuster!!!_

_“And our Women’s Champion may have taken Sora Takenouchi out of the equation!” Early said, as Nazz ran toward Peach. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR PEACH TO RIP THE WOMEN’S TITLE BELT OFF HER WAIST AND CLOCK NAZZ IN THE FACE WITH IT!!! Nazz laid unconscious in the center of the ring as Peach raised the title belt over her head, laughing maniacally to massive boos from the crowd!_

Back in the backstage area, Early and Shake watched the events unfold in disgust.

 

“A great showcase of pure wrestling skill was ruined by our bitch of a Women’s Champion!” Early said angrily.

  
“Now, now, Early!” Shake said. “All was made right, because the next week, Commissioner Space Ghost made the match official: at Nightfire, Peach will be defending the XCW Women’s Championship against BOTH Nazz and Sora Takenouchi in a Triple Threat match!”

 

“This is true.” Early answered calmly. “But Tai Kamiya did not approve of it one bit, and showed it too, when he confronted Mario about it after a commercial break! Mario insisted he had no part of it, because Peach and Sora had had it out for each other even while he was on hiatus! But Mario didn’t take Tai’s accusation well, either, and that led to more tension between the two, and Tai doing commentary during the Mario Brothers/South Park match!”

  
“Lighter tensions have flared for the XCW World Television Championship, as well!” Shake added. “Claude Speed and Bugs Bunny have been in a war of one-upsmanship since Claude won the title from Bugs back at Endgame! First, Claude defeated XCW’s representative in the Rookie Revolution, Hotsuma, in a one-on-one match, after which, Bugs challenged Claude to a one-on-one match for the title at Endgame, and Claude accepted!”  
  
“The next week, Bugs faced Hotsuma, and managed to defeat him quicker than Claude did the week before! Claude was with us doing commentary for the match, and he looked like he thought he had his work cut out for him, if you ask me!”

 

“When you’re weeks away from going one-on-one against a living legend like Bugs, I can imagine that.” Early said. “But Claude Speed is an up-and-coming star in this business, Shake! He’ll be going in ready for a fight! But I can’t say the same thing for his friend, the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti!”   
  
“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “After costing Garfield the number one contendership for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship the week before on Monday Night Massacre, Tommy put himself in even more boiling water with the former Commissioner of XCW, Jon Arbuckle!”  
  
“That he did!” Early said. “And the following week, Arbuckle sent out a Tweet saying that he used ‘one more ace up his sleeve before Space Ghost returned’. We had no clue what he meant, until he called Tommy Vercetti out to the ring before Massacre went off the air.”  
  
 _The show cut back to the ring, where Jon Arbuckle and Tommy Vercetti stood across from each other in the center of the ring, with microphones in hand._

_“Well, Arbuckle, here I am.” Tommy said. “What do you have for me? WAIT! Let me guess! Garfield’s going to attack me from behind????”_

_Tommy turned around slowly in exaggerated fear, to see nothing. He then turned back to face Jon._

_  
“Nope. You didn’t set me up. . .God, what could you have possibly done? Could you have. . .taken back control of XCW??? No, that’s impossible, because he’s still here and walking. So you didn’t send Garfield to tear Space Ghost limb from limb. . .OH!!! You know what, Arbuckle? I got it! I know what you did! Absolutely NOTHING. Because that’s exactly what you amount to! NOTHING. You failed as a cartoonist, you failed as a polka musician, you failed as a commissioner, you’ve failed as a pet owner, hell, you pretty much fail as a human being! And now that you no longer have any power whatsoever here in XCW, there’s no way that you did anything to make my life a living hell! And for wasting my time, and the time of these fans, I just might pull an ace out from under my sleeve and beat your sorry ass back to Muncie, because. . .my name is Tommy Vercetti. . .I am the Harwood Butcher. . .and I’m here to raise HELL!!!”_

_The crowd erupted into cheers. . .but Jon looked at Tommy with a sadistic grin on his face._

_“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong, Mr. Vercetti. Because I do have an ace up my sleeve. Or should I say. . ._ did have an ace up my sleeve. And that ace. . .is your death warrant.” Jon said.  
  
“You see, right after Garfield first won the World Heavyweight Championship at March Majesty, I did everything in my power in making sure that not only he kept it, but that whoever was next in line after that ingrate Tai Kamiya would suffer the same fate that I thought he would. So after March Majesty, I contacted the anonymous chairman, and he etched in stone, a particular concept match at Nightfire, with Garfield as the World Heavyweight Champion, going up against a number one contender that would be decided right after Endgame.”   
  


_“Unfortunately, things didn’t go over so well at Endgame, as you already know. And thanks to you, Garfield won’t be fighting for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, either. But soon after your interference that cost Garfield the match, my disappointment. . .quickly turned. . .to glee. Because in thirteen days at Endgame, he will finally crush the throne in mine and Garfield’s side that you have been for the last two months! At Nightfire. . .you, Mr. Vercetti, will be going one-on-one with the monster. . .GARFIELD!!!”_

_  
Tommy stared at Jon with a blank but calm expression on his face._

_“Ooh, I’m shaking in my sneakers! I fight Garfield at Nightfire! Big whoop. If Tai Kamiya can tame your beast, I can, too. But what’s the concept of this, ‘concept match’, and who’s to say Space Ghost won’t call the anonymous chairman and call the match off?” Tommy wondered._

_“He can’t do a thing, Mr. Vercetti. Everything is ready. The chairman engraved it in stone. . .or. . .should I say. . .steel.”_  
  
Tommy’s eyes narrowed.

_“This concept match will encase you and Garfield inside the ring. . .but you both will be surrounded by a structure that is 25 feet high. . .consisting of six tons of reinforced steel. . .and enough space for Garfield to teach you a lesson in respecting authority!”_  
  
“You know this structure as WWE’s version of Hell. . .in CWF. . .you know this as. . .THE CELL. . .”  
  
The crowd erupted into gasps of shock!  
  
“. . .but in XCW. . .it is known simply AS. . .”

_Tommy’s eyes widened in disbelief!_

_“. . .the CELL OF CHAOS!!!”_  
  
Jon Arbuckle laughed maniacally at Tommy, who only looked up at the ceiling in shock as Massacre went off the air!

“Only a man as sinister as Jon Arbuckle could come up with an idea so sadistic under everyone’s noses!” Shake declared.  
  
“You’re absolutely right, Shake!” Early said. “And things only looked tougher for Tommy because the following week, while Space Ghost was out meeting with a potential free agent, the anonymous chairman was put in charge of the show! And with six days left until Tommy’s epic encounter with Garfield inside the Cell of Chaos, the chairman booked the Harwood Butcher in a Hardcore match against Kenny McCormick!”

 

“It was a brutal and bloody affair that all the fans expected it to be. But no one expected the match to end the way that it did!” Shake said, before the show cut back to the ring.

 

_In the ring, various weapons, some broken, some not, lay strewn about the mat, while Tommy, his face bloody, pushed himself up to his feet while Kenny struggled to climb onto the top rope!_

_“These two men have beaten each other senseless, and the Hardcore title’s not even on the line!” Shake said._

_“It’s exactly what Arbuckle wants, Shake! He wants to make Tommy’s life a living hell, before he goes into it this Sunday!” Early said, as Kenny made it to the top rope. . ._

_. . .sized Tommy up before leaping off the top rope. . ._

_. . .AND GOING FOR A TORNADO DDT, ONLY FOR TOMMY TO CATCH KENNY IN MID-AIR AND SLAM HIM DOWN WITH A STANDING SPINEBUSTER ON A TRASH CAN!!! Tommy went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .KENNY KICKED OUT!!! Tommy rolled off the cover, punching the mat in frustration!_

_“Tommy thought he had the Hardcore Champion beaten. . .but Kenny won’t go down easy!” declared Early._

_“You’ll have to kill this kid to defeat him---WAIT A MINUTE!!” Shake exclaimed, as down the ramp with a referee came. . ._

_“LUIGI!!!” screamed Early, as Luigi pulled a table out from under the ring, and slid it in under the bottom rope! “He’s wanted to win the Hardcore title back from Kenny since losing it two weeks ago, and he thinks now is the perfect time to strike!!!”_

_Luigi slid into the ring and set the table up in the center of the ring. Luigi then pulled Kenny’s prone body up and set it on the table. Luigi then ran toward a corner. . .climbed to the top rope. . ._

_. . .AND LEAPT OFF, DRIVING KENNY THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH!!! Amongst the broken wood, Luigi went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_2\. . ._  
  
. . .3!!!

 __  
“And Luigi is Hardcore Champion once again!” Early said, as Luigi abruptly stood up from the cover, screaming “YES!!” after the bell rang!  
  
 **“Here is the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”**

_Luigi snatched the title belt from the referee, upon seeing Tommy pull himself up to a standing position with the ropes. He slid out of the ring, and escaped through the crowd, while Tommy looked in confusion at Kenny, who lay prone and lifeless in the table wreckage._

 

Back in the backstage area, Early and Shake watched the aftermath of the match on the television.

 

“I think on any other day of the week, Tommy Vercetti would have hunted Luigi down for the Hardcore title!” Shake said. “But after the hard-fought no contest his match turned out to be, and the Cell of Chaos just six days away, I don’t blame Tommy for wanting to catch his breath!”  


“Neither do I, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “But this would not be the last time we would see Tommy Vercetti this week! Because the anonymous chairman also booked his buddy Claude Speed in a one-on-one match against Garfield!”  
  
“That match was meant for the monster to send a direct message to Tommy before the Cell of Chaos match and nothing more!” Shake said. “And Tommy wouldn’t stand for it, and neither would somebody else. . .”

 

_The show cut back to the ring, where Claude pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes selling his abdomen, completely unaware that Garfield was standing right behind him!_

_“This is no longer a match!” Early cried. “This is a one-sided beatdown! Garfield wants to show the world exactly what he plans to do to the Harwood Butcher this Sunday at Nightfire inside the Cell of Chaos!”_

_Claude turned around. . .only for Garfield to catch him and throw him across the ring, sending him crashing onto the mat with a Belly-to-Belly suplex!!! Letting out a roar, Garfield turned back around and extended his arm out, taunting for Claude to get up._

_“The end is near for the Television Champion of the World!” Shake said sadly. . .until down the ramp to cheers from the crowd came. . ._

_“BUGS BUNNY!!!” yelled Early. “He’s been on the receiving end of a beating from Garfield before, and he’s seen his opponent go through enough of it tonight!”_

_Bugs Bunny slid into the ring and ran toward Garfield, taking him down with a chop block!!! Garfield fell to the mat, clenching his leg as the referee called for the bell to be rang!_

_“Bugs knows the significance of his match against Claude this Sunday!” Early said. “And he wants nothing more than Claude at his healthiest!”_  
  
Bugs looked down at Claude, who rolled out of the ring. Bugs nodded, then turned around to face Garfield. . .

_. . .upon which, Garfield grabbed him by the throat!!!_  
  
“Well, he saved Claude from certain doom, and he’ll take part in the dream match this Sunday. . .at the expense of receiving a Chokeslam!” Shake said. . .

_. . .as Garfield lifted Bugs high above his head, and slammed him down with a thunderous Chokeslam. . .completely unaware that Tommy Vercetti was running down the ramp with a steel chair in hand to cheers from the crowd!!!_

_“And now the Harwood Butcher wants a piece of Garfield before this Sunday!” Early cried, as Tommy slid into the ring and nailed Garfield in the back with the steel chair!!! Bugs rolled out of the ring, selling his body from the chokeslam, while Garfield roared from the pain of the chair shot. He turned around to face the Harwood Butcher. . ._

_. . .WHO WHACKED HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH THE CHAIR, KNOCKING HIM DOWN!!! Tommy continued to wail away at Garfield’s body with chair shot after chair shot until it was bent in half!!!_

_“All the months of frustration – stripping him of the Hardcore title, the threats, the mind games, and now this merciless beating of his best friend. . .Tommy’s had enough of Jon and Garfield!” Shake declared, as Tommy threw the dented and broken chair onto the mat behind him, and drug Garfield to the center of the ring!_

__  
“AND HE’S SHOWING ARBUCKLE RIGHT NOW THAT HE’S NOT AFRAID OF HIS MONSTER. . .OR THE CELL OF CHAOS!!!” Early screamed somehow intelligibly, as Tommy grabbed a microphone from the timekeeper’s booth.  
  
“Oh, Arbuckle. Now you’ve done it.” Tommy said, in between gasps for breath. “You can threaten me with suspension, ban me from visiting other companies. . .and order your beast to beat me to a pulp. . .”

_Tommy slid back into the ring and put Garfield in a headlock while staring Jon down with his face still blood-stained from the match earlier!_

_“. . .but when you strip me of my Hardcore title, and put me through mind games, like you have tonight. . .you make me feel. . .a little. . .UNUSUALLY. . .AGGRESSIVE.”_

_  
Tommy lifted Garfield up, and stood him right above the chair!_

__  
“AND GARFIELD. . .WILL HAVE A WHOLE ‘NOTHER BEAST OF A MAN TRAPPED INSIDE THE CELL OF CHAOS WITH HIM!!! THE HARWOOD BUTCHER HAS RETURNED IN FULL FORCE!!!  
  
AND AT NIGHTFIRE. . .HE WILL. . .  
  
. . .RAISE. . .

_. . .HELL!!!”_   
  


_Jon could only watch in fear as Tommy dropped the microphone. . ._   
  


_. . .AND PLANTED GARFIELD WITH A DOUBLE-ARM DDT ON THE CHAIR!!! Garfield laid down in the center of the ring knocked out cold as the crowd erupted into cheers!!!_

Back in the backstage area, Early and Shake watched the aftermath on the television.

“If there’s two things we learned about Nightfire, it’s that Bugs Bunny wants to win the World Television Championship back. . .and give his all to do it!” Shake said.   
  
“But we also learned that inside the Cell of Chaos, it will be a battle of two different beasts: the monster Garfield, and the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti!” added Early. “We all know the destruction that Garfield is capable of, but after Tommy’s display this past Monday night, I shudder to think what will happen between those two men!”

 

“We don’t have to think any more about what will happen between Tai and Mario tonight, though!” Early said. “The main event of last week’s Monday Night Massacre was a six-man tag team match with huge Nightfire implications! It featured Tai Kamiya, and Eddy and Ed of D-Ed going up against Mario and Stan and Cartman of the South Park Four!”  
  
“Everybody wondered if the tag team champions and Mario would be able to co-exist with each other during this match, considering the feud between Mario’s brother Luigi, and Kenny McCormick over the XCW Hardcore Championship!” Shake informed. “But Mario assured them that since a match had been made between the two for the title at Nightfire, all was well between them! However, the truth in Mario’s promise, and even more chaos between D-Ed and South Park, and Tai and Mario would break once again at the conclusion of the night’s main event!”

 

_The show cut back to the ring, where Stan Marsh had the Sharpshooter locked in on Ed in the center of the ring! Ed screamed in agonizing pain as he crawled toward his corner for a tag!!!_

_“The Monobrowed Monster of D-Generation Ed so close to tapping. . .but also to make a tag!! What will he do first???” Early wondered, as Ed extended his arm out. . ._

_. . .inched closer to his corner. . ._

_. . .AND TAGGED IN TAI!!! Tai stormed into the ring and caught Stan into a waist-lock, then took him down with a trifecta of German suplexes, with the third one ending with a pin attempt!!! 1. . .2. . .Cartman broke up the three count!!! Tai and Stan stood up and faced each other in a corner, then got into a tie-up. Tai went for a waist-lock, only for Stan to counter out of it and take Tai down with a Russian Leg Sweep!!! Stan then drug Tai to the center of the ring and ran toward his corner! Stan then climbed up to the top rope. . ._

_. . .only for Mario to. . .blind tag in?_  
  
“And now Mario wants a piece of his opponent this Sunday at Nightfire!!” Early said, as Stan stood still perched on the top rope, completely dumbfounded at what just happened.

_“I think Stan was about to drive the nail in the coffin, Early!” Shake said. “He thought he was gonna have the match won!”_

_“You may be right, Shake! He and Cartman have no idea what just happened! Nevertheless, Mario is now the legal man in the match, and he along with all of us, are about to get a preview of Nightfire’s main event!!!”_

_Mario Irish whipped Tai toward the ropes while Stan stood back on the ring apron with Cartman, who tried to help him refocus. As Tai bounced back, Mario lifted Tai for a rolling suplex. . .only for Tai to drop out of it and take Mario down with a neckbreaker!!! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . ._

_. . .MARIO KICKED OUT!!! Tai pulled Mario up to his feet and slapped him across the chest with a chop! Tai continued to hit Mario in the chest with chop after chop. . .until Mario caught Tai’s arm in time, and clock him in the face with a right hand! Mario then Irish whipped Tai toward a corner. . .only for Tai to counter with an Irish whip of his own! Mario bounced hard out of the corner. . ._

_. . .only to take Tai back down with a clothesline!!! Mario went for the cover 1. . .2. . ._

_. . .Eddy broke up the three count!!! Cartman then charged into the ring and took Eddy down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away at Eddy’s face with furious right and left hands!!! Ed then entered the ring and pulled Cartman off the D-Ed leader! The referee ordered Cartman and the Eds back to their corners, but to no avail, forcing the referee to call for the bell!_

_“Chaos has broken out once again tonight on Monday Night Massacre!” Early declared._  
  
“I can only imagine what these guys will do to each other this Sunday!” Shake said, as Stan entered the ring and brawled with Eddy, while Cartman and Ed came to blows near a corner! Cartman stomped a mudhole into Ed in the corner, while Stan Irish whipped Eddy toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, took the D-Ed leader down with a South Park Stunner!!! 

_Meanwhile, Tai and Mario continued to wrestle on another side of the ring! Mario and Tai traded chop after chop until Tai surprised Mario with a kick to the midsection! Tai then ran against the ropes behind him, and on the bounceback, went for a Tornado DDT. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR EDDY TO COUNTER IT INTO A TRIPLE ROLLING SUPLEX!!! Mario then stood over Tai and taunted him. . ._

_. . .UNTIL STAN KICKED HIM IN THE MIDSECTION AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!!_  
  
“THE SOUTH PARK LEADER GIVING MARIO AN EMPHATIC MESSAGE!!!” Early exclaimed. “And the message is: ‘when you’re in a match with me, leave me in!’”

_Stan stared Mario down maliciously. . .until Ed turned him around to face him and put him on his shoulders!!!_  
  
“. . .BUT FOR SENDING THAT MESSAGE, HE GETS THE ELEDRIFIER!!!” Shake screamed, as Ed slammed Stan down with the Eledrifier!!! Ed got back up. . .

_. . .AND IMMEDIATELY RECEIVED A SOUTH PARK STUNNER FROM CARTMAN!!! Cartman taunted a now prone Ed with a flurry of curse words. . .completely unaware that Tai was perched on the corner right behind him! Cartman turned around. . ._

_. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A DIVING HURRICANRANA FROM TAI!!! As Cartman rolled out of the ring, Mario slowly got onto one knee, selling his head._

_“The XCW World Heavyweight Champion finally clearing the ring from the chaos between D-Ed and the South Park Four. . .” Early said, as Mario came to a standing position! Tai turned to stare him down with intense eyes._  
  
“. . .but from what we saw between Tai and Mario tonight, I’ll guarantee you that the main event will be a slobberknocker! Only one can be the XCW Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .AND the Star of this company? Who will it be after Nightfire???”  
  
Tai and Mario were engaged in a staredown as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Back in the backstage area, Early and Shake turned back around to face the camera.

 

“Early, from what we saw between Mario and Tai unfold in the past couple weeks, I can’t wait to see the wrestling match between the two tonight at Nightfire!” Shake said excitedly.

  
“Neither can I, Shake! It will be a dream match-turned real once that bell rings tonight!” Early said in agreement. “Also on Nightfire’s card tonight we have. . .

 

. . .Claude Speed defending the XCW World Television Championship against Bugs Bunny!”  
  
“A battle of old school versus new school!” Shake said. “The battle of one-upsmanship between these two ends tonight, with the winner taking home the World TV Title!”

 

“We also have Princess Peach Toadstool defending the XCW Women’s Championship in a Triple Threat match against Sora Takenouchi and D-Ed’s Assistant With Assets, Nazz!” informed Early.

 

“Sora and Nazz have had a bone to pick with Peach since March. . .but only one of these three women can walk out of Nightfire the Women’s Champion!” said Shake.

 

“We also have Luigi defending the XCW Hardcore Championship against Kenny McCormick!” Early informed.

 

“Luigi finally won back the Hardcore title after losing it the night after Endgame. . .will Kenny regain it or will Luigi sneak out of town with the belt?” asked Shake.

 

“Also, Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh of the South Park Four will put the XCW Tag Team Championship on the line against Ed and Eddy of D-Generation Ed!” Early said.

 

“Cartman and Stan won the last fight between these two storied teams, but with a new leader in Eddy, will D-Ed regain the gold?” Shake wondered.

 

“Also, announced this past week, Hotsuma will put his Rookie Revolution membership on the line against Arthur!” Early informed.

 

“Yes, after Hotsuma finally won an XCW match against Jimmy this past Monday night on Massacre, Arthur made his XCW return and claimed he deserves to be in the Rookie Revolution moreso than Hotsuma! Arthur issued the challenge, demanding Hotsuma put his membership on the line, and Hotsuma accepted! Hotsuma is deadly in the ring, but Arthur knows how to get out of a tight situation! Should be a great match!” Shake said.

 

“And Hell in a Cell is coming to XCW, in the form of the Cell of Chaos! Inside the 25 foot tall, six-steel-ton structure, the tensions between Garfield and Tommy Vercetti will finally boil over!” Early said.

 

“Garfield is a beast of physicality, while Tommy is a monster on the inside! There will be nothing but pure destruction and carnage when that cell door slams shut, and I can’t wait to see it!” said Shake, excitedly.  
  
“No one else can wait to see that or our main event!” Early said. “Tai Kamiya will make his first title defense as XCW World Heavyweight Champion by going one-on-one against Mario!”

 

“Mario is looking to reclaim the World Heavyweight Championship, while Tai is looking to establish his title reign, and solidify his status as the star of our company! Whoever wins, it will be in a hard-fought contest!”

 

“Well, that’s all the time we have! From all of us at XCW, and for Master Shake, I’m Early Cuyler! Thank you for watching XCW Rewind! We’ll see you at Nightfire in a few hours!”

 

**Alrighty, there’s the recap. Let me know if anything doesn’t make sense, or if anyone’s out of character or anything like that. Nightfire will come soon, but in the meantime, READ AND REVIEW, and under this note is the card for Nightfire for your predicting pleasure! There just might be a contest this time around. . .**

 

XCW Nightfire Card  
  
Kenny McCormick vs. Luigi (c) for the XCW Hardcore Championship  
Hotsuma vs. Arthur (winner joins the Rookie Revolution)  
Nazz vs. Peach (c) vs. Sora Takenouchi in a Triple Threat Match for the XCW Women’s Championship  
D-Generation Ed (Eddy and Ed) vs. The South Park Four (Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman) (c) for the XCW Tag Team Championships  
Claude Speed (c) vs. Bugs Bunny for the XCW World Television Championship

Tommy Vercetti vs. Garfield in the Cell of Chaos

Tai Kamiya (c) vs. Mario for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship


	27. XCW Nightfire: Part 1

And now. . .Chunky Puffs presents. . .XCW NIGHTFIRE!!! I only own my championships.

“Ties That Bind” by Alter Bridge played as fireworks went off on the stage and titantron in a large arena, where thousands of fans stood cheering in excitement, holding up many signs of different colors.

“Welcome to O-Town, and XCW Nightfire, ladies and gentlemen!!! We have a full slate of action for all of you that is sure to feature titles being contested, blood being shed, and the best wrestling this industry has to offer! And there you see hanging high above the ring, the six-tons-of-steel, and twenty-five foot high cell that Tommy Vercetti and Garfield will fight each other inside tonight! They will both enter, but only one will emerge victorious! And hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and Shake, I have no idea what to expect tonight, especially inside the Cell of Chaos!”

“Neither do I, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “All I know is that all of our championships will be decided amongst rivals so bitter, that their tensions will boil over once that bell rings here tonight!”

“And we’re about to kick the night off with the defending of XCW’s Hardcore Championship!” Early said as Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest. . .is a Hardcore match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship!!!”

“What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played as Kenny McCormick ran onto the ramp to boos from the crowd, wheeling a wagon full of weapons behind him.

“Introducing first. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .he is The Extremist. . .KENNY MCCORMICK!!!”

“The animosity between these two men came about at Endgame, when Kenny McCormick won the Hardcore Championship from Rolf! His celebration would be short lived, because as soon as he won it, Luigi returned from a brief hiatus, attacked Kenny from behind, and became the new Hardcore Champion!” Early informed, as Kenny came to the ring apron and threw various weapons out of the wagon, and into the ring.

“It wouldn’t stop there, though, Early!” Shake added. “The next night, Kenny McCormick would come back from the dead like he always does, ambush Luigi, and win back the title, only for Luigi to win it back two weeks later! But now Kenny and Luigi square off against each other right here tonight, to hopefully settle the score!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage raising a peace sign and the Hardcore title belt above his head, towards the ring.

“And his opponent. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .LUIGI!!!”

“These two men aren’t the only ones from their respective stables to come to blows recently!” Early said. “Just last week on Monday Night Massacre, during a six-man tag match, Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman teamed up with Luigi’s brother, Mario. Stan looked to win the match with a move from the top rope, only for Mario to tag himself in and give Tai a piece of his mind, leaving Stan and Cartman dumbfounded!”

Luigi looked under the ring apron and pulled a table, trash can and a steel chair out, and threw them into the ring. . .

“And in retaliation, after the match was called a no contest, what’d Stan Marsh do?” Shake asked rhetorically. “He gave Mario the South Park Stunner! Here’s hoping this match here tonight relieves the remaining tension between these two teams---AND HERE WE GO!!!” 

. . .until Kenny kicked Luigi to the ringside floor with a baseball slide as the bell rang and the match began! Kenny grabbed a baseball bat from under the ring and whacked Luigi across the bat with it as the crowd cheered “X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!!” Kenny raised the bat high above his head, aiming for Luigi’s face, until Luigi sprang to his feet and tackled Kenny, ramming him back first into the ring post, before taking him down with a spinebuster! Luigi went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out! Luigi stood up and slid back into the ring, grabbing the table before sliding back out, next to Kenny. Luigi set the table up and went to reach into his pockets for something. . .

. . .only for Kenny to stand up and nail Luigi with a punch to the face! Kenny landed a three-punch combination onto Luigi, before Irish whipping him right into the steel steps, with the Hardcore Champion hitting them with a sickening thud! Kenny then stood over Luigi and pulled him up to his feet, only for Luigi to nail him in the chest with a chop! Luigi then kicked him in the midsection, and lifted him up. . .then taking him down with a forward suplex onto the ring apron!!! Luigi then went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out!!! Luigi then pulled Kenny up by the coat and slid him back into the ring, under the bottom rope. Luigi then followed him after grabbing a kendo stick from under the apron. Luigi then cocked back the kendo stick, as Kenny pushed him up to his feet. Luigi charged toward The Extremist, swinging the kendo stick, but Kenny speared Luigi, pushing him into the corner! Kenny continued to hit Luigi with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until he fell seated in the corner. Kenny then stomped a mudhole into the Champion’s chest before climbing to the top rope and landing a Moonsault!!! Kenny went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out!!!

“And now Kenny’s finally fighting his way back into this Hardcore title matchup!” Early exclaimed, as Kenny pulled Luigi up to his feet. Kenny hit Luigi with another chop before running against the ropes and dropkicking Luigi in the legs, down to the mat face first! Kenny then grabbed a stop sign, and nailed Luigi with it right in the face! Kenny continued to hammer Luigi’s body with the sign before finally resting it on his chest, with Luigi moaning in agonizing pain. Kenny then raised a fist in the air, taunting the crowd, who booed back as he walked toward a corner!

“Kenny’s got the Hardcore Champion dead to rights now!” Shake said. “And he’s looking to show everyone why he’s the Extremist of South Park!”

Kenny left off the top rope. . .

. . .ONLY FOR LUIGI TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY, SHOVING THE STOP SIGN INTO KENNY’S PATH!!! Kenny landed on the stop sign, upon which, he sold his chest and screamed in agonizing pain! Luigi then picked up the kendo stick and whacked Kenny across the back with it! Luigi continued to hit Kenny with the stick until Kenny pushed himself up to his knees. Luigi cocked the stick back one more time. .. and HIT KENNY WITH IT SQUARE IN THE FACE!!! Luigi went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .KENNY KICKED OUT!!! Luigi couldn’t believe it! Luigi then slid to the ringside floor, where he grabbed the table and slid it into the ring. Luigi slid back in after it. . .

. . .only for Kenny to surprise him with a monkey flip, with Luigi landing right onto the street sign!!! Kenny then pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes and set Luigi’s table up in the center of the ring before wedging a trash can into the opposite corner. Kenny taunted Luigi as he pushed himself up in a corner. Luigi turned around, only to be Irish whipped by Kenny toward the trash can, with the champion crashing into it hard! Kenny then charged toward his adversary for a tackle. . .

. . .but Luigi caught Kenny in time, lifted him up. . .

. . .only for Kenny to counter it with a Hurricanrana, sending toward the ropes! As Luigi’s head and arms came to hit the middle rope! Kenny ran toward the ropes. . .

. . .AND NAILED LUIGI WITH THE 303, sending him careening into the table!

“Kenny McCormick hits the 303! We’re gonna have a new Hardcore Champion!” Early declared, until Kenny suddenly jumped off the top rope, landing in front of them on the mat. 

“Wait a minute. What does the Extremist have up his sleeve?” Shake wondered, before Kenny laid Luigi onto the table face-up! Kenny then grabbed the crumpled trash can and laid it onto Luigi’s chest!

“Kenny’s gonna do something crazy here!!!” Shake declared, as Kenny climbed up to the top rope, raising a peace sign in the air, mocking Luigi!

“My God! My God! Don’t do it, Kenny! You’ll kill yourself!” Early screamed, as Kenny leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED THE TRASH CAN ONTO LUIGI AND DROVE HIM THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH!!!

“BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD!” yelled Early. “THE EXTREMIST OF SOUTH PARK STOLE LUIGI’S FINISHING MANEUVER!!!”

As the crowd screamed, “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” Kenny draped his arms over Luigi, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“AND THE HARDCORE TITLE IS BACK IN THE HANDS OF SOUTH PARK!!!” declared Early, after Kenny rolled off Luigi, catching his breath as the bell rang!

“Here is your winner. . .AND THE NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .KENNY MCCORMICK!!!”

The referee raised Kenny’s arm in victory and rested the Hardcore title belt on Kenny’s chest. He clutched the belt to his chest as he rolled out of the ring.

“Well, if there’s one thing to be learned from this match, it’s that Luigi is not Hardcore material!” Shake said. “It’s one thing to use weapons in a hardcore match, you’ve got to find a way to implement them into your fighting style, and Kenny McCormick did just that here tonight!”

Kenny limped up the ramp, raising the Hardcore title above his head in celebration until he reached the stage.

“You’re absolutely right, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “There’s no doubt that Kenny McCormick taught Luigi that he is The Extremist of South Park for a reason---“

Kenny turned around to walk backstage. . .

. . .ONLY TO BE IMMEDIATELY TAKEN DOWN BY A CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY BY ROLF!!!

“WAIT A MINUTE!!! IT’S ROLF!!!” Early yelled! “BAH GAWD HE TOOK KENNY’S HEAD OFF!!!” 

Rolf knelt over Kenny as a referee ran onto the stage! Rolf hooked the leg 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And just like that, Rolf is the new Hardcore Champion!!!” Shake screamed, as Rolf looked up at the ceiling and screamed “THANK YOU!!!”

“Here is the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .ROLF!!!”

“Well the feud between Luigi and South Park may be over. . .but tensions are running high between them and D-Generation Ed!!!” Early said, as the referee gave Rolf the Hardcore title belt and raised his hand in victory, before Rolf quickly ran to the backstage area!

“And they’ve only reached a boiling point just now, Early!” Shake declared. “I can only imagine what will happen between those two teams when they lock up later on tonight, with the XCW Tag Team titles on the line!”

“Neither can I, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “But over the past couple months, tensions have ran high between the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, and the former XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield. And tonight, everything between those two men will be put to rest when they face each other one on one inside the debuting Cell of Chaos! And Tommy is standing right now with our backstage correspondent, Carl Brutanandilewski!” 

The show went to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood next to Tommy Vercetti with a microphone in hand.

“Tommy. . .” Carl said, “in just a few hours, you will go one-on-one against the monster Garfield inside the Cell of Chaos, a structure that we’ve seen in WWE, CWF, AWF, and now it will make its XCW debut tonight. How have you went about preparing for this match?”

“How have I prepared?” Tommy responded. “I wish I had an answer for you, Carl. Since this past Monday night, I’ve watched countless matches that have taken place inside that Cell, and from those matches, I’ve come to learn one thing: it’s impossible to plan for what’s gonna happen between me and Garfield tonight! I’ve barely slept this past week trying to figure out a strategy, but it was only until I watched the Hell in a Cell match between Taiki and Simon at Anime Mania when I finally threw every plan out the window! I hate Garfield with every fiber of my being, and he hates me back, and you’ve seen me in the ring when there are no rules. You know that I don’t hold anything back when I fight under any and every circumstance. So tonight, with the Cell involved, expect all that and more, because my name is Tommy Vercetti, and I WILL RAISE HELL!!!”

Tommy stormed away from Carl, heading down a hallway as the show went to a commercial break.

As the show returned from break, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand as "Red Lottery" by Megasus played, and the arena became engulfed in red light!

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first. . .representing the Rookie Revolution. . .from Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!!!”

The crowd booed at Hotsuma as he walked onto the stage and down the ramp, looking at nothing but the ring.

“Now, this next match doesn’t have a title on the line, but membership of the Rookie Revolution!” Early said. “This match came about after Claude Speed and Tommy Vercetti straight up rejected Souichi Sagano’s invitation for them to join the Rookie Revolution. But while they rejected it, Hotsuma has joined the stable, but failed to establish himself in the Revolution as a credible member, until he finally won a singles match last week on Massacre against Peach Creek’s whipping boy, Jimmy!”

Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stood on the middle rope in a corner, glaring at the fans.

“And after the match, a member of the XCW roster confronted him, declaring that he deserved to be XCW’s representative of the Rookie Revolution over him.” Shake informed. “He then challenged Hotsuma to put his membership on the line in a one-on-one match tonight, and he accepted! Hotsuma is a fierce, deadly competitor. . .but he doesn’t come close to the resourcefulness and in-ring skill of. . .”

The ‘Dashing Cody Rhodes’ theme played, to massive boos from the crowd!

“. . .this man!” finished Shake, as Arthur stepped onto the stage wearing a yellow hooded vest.

“And his opponent. . .from Elwood City. . .ARTHUR!!!”

Arthur pushed the hood behind his head, revealing his face to more boos from the crowd, before walking down the ramp.

“I don’t even know how you can say that, Shake!” Early said, flabbergasted. “Ever since the PBS Kid Arthur lost a Triple Threat match for the XCW World Television Championship at Endgame, he’s ran like a scalded dog with his tail between his legs, and hasn’t had any in-ring action!”

Arthur entered the ring above the second rope and came to the center of the ring, scanning the audience, who continued to boo him.

“Come on, Early!” Shake protested. “Arthur’s just looking for the right opportunity to make his presence felt in XCW! And there’s no better opportunity than to become a member of the Rookie Revolution right here, right now!”

The bell rang and the match began with Hotsuma and Arthur charging toward each other, and meeting in the center of the ring with a tie-up. Arthur went for a front face lock on Hotsuma, but Hotsuma countered by driving Arthur into the corner. Upon impact, Hotsuma stood up and whacked Arthur in the chest with a massive chop! Hotsuma continued to hit Arthur with sickening chop after chop until Arthur fell into a seated position in the corner. Hotsuma then pressed his foot up against Arthur’s face and neck, choking him! The referee ordered Hotsuma to stop before starting the five count, with Hotsuma letting go upon the count reaching four. Hotsuma then pulled Arthur to the center of the ring and went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out!

Hotsuma pulled Arthur up to his feet, only for Arthur to abruptly shove Hotsuma back a bit. Arthur then tied up Hotsuma in a wrist-lock, wrenching on his arm. Arthur then took Hotsuma down with an armbar, then landed a leg drop onto his shoulder! Arthur then turned Hotsuma onto his front before picking up Hotsuma’s arm and whipping it back onto the mat! Hotsuma sold his arm in pain before Arthur stomped onto his chest! Arthur then pulled Hotsuma back up and Irish whipped him toward the ropes, then slammed him down with a Facebuster on the bounce back! Arthur went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out! Arthur rolled off Hotsuma for the cover, scheming his next move as the crowd chanted “YOU BOTH SUCK! YOU BOTH SUCK!!!”

“These two men may not be fan-favorites, but they’re giving their all here tonight in this one-on-one matchup!” Early said. 

“You got that right!” agreed Shake. “Who’s gonna come out of this one as a member of the Rookie Revolution?”

Arthur stood up to his feet and taunted Hotsuma to get up. Hotsuma got up to his knees as Arthur charged toward him for a boot to the face. . .

. . .but Hotsuma grabbed Arthur’s leg and pushed Arthur down to the mat! Hotsuma then grabbed Arthur’s legs. . . positioned himself behind a corner. . .

. . .and launched Arthur into the corner face-first with a slingshot!!! Arthur stumbled into the center of the ring, only for Hotsuma to take him down with a Powerslam! Hotsuma went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out! Hotsuma pulled Arthur up to his feet by the collar and went for a neckbreaker. . .but Arthur countered out of it and shoved Hotsuma toward the ropes! As Hotsuma bounced back, Arthur took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Both men were down in the center of the ring as the referee started the ten count!

“These two men have fought the hell out of each other tonight. . .who’s gonna come out the winner?” Early wondered.

“Will Hotsuma still be wearing a Rookie Revolution wristband by the end of the night, or will he be finding his way out of the stable???” Shake asked, as Hotsuma and Arthur rose up to their feet and traded right hands, with the crowd booing in unison to Hotsuma’s punches, but the crowd booing LOUDER in unison to Arthur’s punches!

“Listen to these fans, Early!” Shake said. “They hate both of these competitors! Why do they not care who joins the Rookie Revolution?”

“Those last two words answer your own question, Shake!” Early said, as Arthur surprised Hotsuma with a left hand in the ring! “In their short existence, the Rookie Revolution has become one of the most resented interpromotional stables in fiction wrestling! And with the bad reputation of these two men, I don’t blame these fans for being vocal of how they feel. Nevertheless, the PBS Kid Arthur has gained the upper hand in this matchup!”

Arthur then hit a punch combination onto Hotsuma until he was up against the ropes behind him. Arthur then Irish whipped Hotsuma. . .only for Hotsuma to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! As Arthur bounced back, Hotsuma caught Arthur and took him down with a neckbreaker! Hotsuma then ran against the ropes behind him and landed a falling knee to the face of Arthur! Hotsuma then shot up to a standing position, glaring at the booing crowd before turning back down to face Arthur. Hotsuma then grabbed Arthur by the shirt and threw him onto the ring apron. Hotsuma then waited for Arthur to pull himself up with the ropes before nailing him with a fierce elbow! Hotsuma then grabbed Arthur by the head. . .

. . .pulled him back into the ring, with his feet hanging on the top rope. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A HANGMAN’S DDT!!! Hotsuma then did the cut throat taunt, waiting for Arthur to push himself up to his feet.

“Hotsuma has put up a valiant effort to retain his membership in XCW here tonight!” Early said. “And now he’s looking to take Arthur out with the Akujiki!!!”

Arthur staggered up to his feet, as Hotsuma leapt up. . .

. . .but Arthur countered it by grabbing onto Hotsuma’s back. . .

. . .AND TAKING HIM DOWN WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!! Arthur then went for a School boy cover, propping his feet on the ropes for leverage!!!

“WAIT A MINUTE! ARTHUR’S GOT THE ROPES!!!” Early screamed unintelligibly as the referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And just like that, Arthur stole the victory, and membership of the Rookie Revolution!!!”

Arthur immediately rolled off the ropes and onto the mat, pumping his fists into the air as the bell rang!

“Here is your winner. . .ARTHUR!!!”

The referee raised Arthur’s arm in victory after he came to a standing position while Hotsuma laid face down on the mat, dumbfounded and selling his head.

“We know that Arthur believed he was more deserving of being in the Rookie Revolution, but I had no idea he wanted it THAT much!” Early said.

“Come on, Early!” Shake said. “Arthur deserves to be a part of the Revolution based on his ability in the ring alone, and we saw it just now! He saw a way to prevent Hotsuma from hitting the Akujiki, and used the elements around him to his advantage!”

Arthur then stood over Hotsuma and pulled him up to his feet. . .

. . .then took him back down with the Final Chapter!!!

“OH, COME ON NOW!” Early screamed. “IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY???”

“Of course it is, Early!” answered Shake. “Arthur wants to claim the wristband!”

Arthur looked down at Hotsuma with a smug look on his face. He then knelt over him and pulled the Rookie Revolution wristband off Hotsuma’s arm, and put it on his right wrist! Arthur raised his arm triumphantly, with the wristband facing the crowd, who rained thunderous boos toward the new member of the Rookie Revolution!

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing, Shake! Arthur belongs to be in the Rookie Revolution, all right! And you want to know why?” Early asked.

“Why?”

“His attitude fits right in with Souichi and his crew!”

Arthur smiled smugly as he left the ring and walked up the ramp, yelling at the crowd. Hotsuma laid prone on the mat until the show went to a hallway in the backstage area, where Kenny McCormick strode furiously with a referee right behind him.

“MMMPHHH!” Kenny muffled loudly under his coat before passing a table and knocking all the decorations off in anger! “MMPH MPH MPPPH MMPH MPPH-MPFHFH!!!” 

“Well, the former XCW Hardcore Champion seems to be looking for the man who won his title from him just mere minutes ago!” Early said, as Kenny came to the D-Generation Ed locker room and tried opening the door!

“Uh-oh. . .the Extremist going to some very extreme measures to win back his Hardcore title! He’s going into the Lion’s Den!” Shake said, until someone screamed in pain off-screen! Kenny looked to his right to see something green lying at the end of the hallway. Kenny sprinted down the hallway. . .as Rolf came to stand with a shovel in hand over the green man, who was revealed to be Luigi!!! Rolf raised the shovel up above his head. . .only for Kenny to spear Rolf against the wall!!!

“And now we’ve got another war on our hands for the XCW Hardcore title!!” Early screamed, as Kenny planted Rolf with a DDT!!! Kenny went for the cover as the referee caught up to him! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“I think Kenny just won the Hardcore title!” said Early! Before the referee could declare him the champion, however, Luigi grabbed Kenny by the coat and threw him head-first into a wall, then went for the cover on Kenny! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .ROLF HIT LUIGI IN THE BACK WITH A LARGE STEEL PLATE, BREAKING UP THE THREE COUNT!!! Luigi cried in pain while Rolf pulled Kenny up by the coat and nailed him in the face with a right hand, only for Luigi to take down the Son of a Shepherd with a backbreaker!

“BAH GAWD there is absolute chaos in the backstage area!” Early declared.

“Who do you think is gonna come out of that as the Hardcore Champion???” Shake asked as the show went back to the ring, where the audience watched the backstage brawl in excitement!

“Your guess is as good as mine, Shake! I wish we could find out. . .but the show must go on!” 

Back in the ring, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest. . .is a Triple Threat match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Championship!!!”

"T&A" by Jim Johnston played as Nazz strutted onto the entranceway and posed to the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .the challengers. First. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .she is the Assistant With Assets. . .NAZZ!!!”

Nazz strutted down the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“At any rate, ladies and gentlemen, the show goes on with a Triple Threat match for the XCW Women’s Championship! And in this match, Shake, both of the challengers have a major bone to pick with our current Women’s Champion!”

The crowd cheered even more as Nazz climbed up a corner turnbuckle and did the DX crotch chop.

“And even the word ‘major’ is an understatement, Early!” Shake said. “Nazz won the Women’s title from Peach at March Majesty, only for Peach regain it two weeks later by cheating! Nazz has waited a long time for her shot, and she gets it right here tonight!”

"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine played as Sora Takenouchi ran onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, raising her hands above her head, and towards the crowd.

“And her opponent. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

“But she has more than just Peach to focus on, Shake! Sora Takenouchi put on a wrestling clinic against Peach at Endgame, and once again in a number one contender’s match against Nazz two weeks ago on Massacre!” Early said, as Sora climbed onto a turnbuckle and posed toward the fans.

“But Peach has resorted to drastic measures in both matches, Early!” Shake said. “She cheated her way to victory in the match at Endgame, and attacked both Sora and Nazz during their match on Massacre! But that led to this match being made, and I have a feeling that tonight, something will give between either Sora and Peach, or Peach and Nazz!”

"Brackish" by Kittie played as Peach strutted down the ramp to a chorus of boos. As she walked, she motioned her hands over the Women's title belt around her waist and taunted the crowd.

"And their opponent. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .she is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women"s Champion. . .PEACH!"

“There’s no doubt that Peach has demonstrated a disturbing attachment to the XCW Women’s Championship over the course of the past four months.” Early said. “According to her husband, Mario, she’s spent most of her days polishing the belt, sleeping with the belt, only removing the belt from her waist to shower!” Early said before Peach blew a kiss to the referee as she took off the Women's title belt. She then climbed to the top of a turnbuckle and blew another kiss toward the commentator's booth.

“Not to mention using the belt as a weapon, and going so far as to prevent any wrestler here from contending for it!” added Shake. “But like it or not, she’s got two opponents tonight, and these two are looking to not only become the new Women’s Champion, but teach her a lesson of respect and sportsmanship---BUT HERE WE GO!!!”

As soon as Peach stepped off the top turnbuckle, Nazz and Sora charged toward her, with Nazz taking the Women’s Champion down with a Lou Thesz Press before the bell rang and the match began! Nazz hammered away at Peach’s face with punch after punch until Peach rolled Nazz onto her back and thrashed at her face with ferocious slaps and punches! The catfight continued as Nazz spun Peach onto her back once more, only for Sora to kick them both under the bottom rope, sending them off the ring apron and down to the ringside floor! Peach yelped upon impact with the floor as Nazz rolled off of her. Nazz then pulled Peach up to her feet by the hair and slugged her with another punch to the face. . .unaware that Sora was running toward them, still inside the ring! Sora leapt over the top rope. . .

. . .and took down Peach and Nazz with a suicide dive!!! All three women laid strewn on the ringside floor as the crowd screamed “X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!”

“And Sora Takenouchi putting her body and soul on the line like she always does!” Early said, as Sora pushed herself up to a standing position. She strode toward Peach and pulled her up to her feet by the hair, then whacked her across the chest with a ferocious chop! Sora nailed Peach with chop after chop until she was driven up against the ring apron. Sora went for a punch to the face, only for Peach to block it and tackle Sora, driving her back first into the barricade! As Sora slumped down to the floor, Peach turned her attention to Nazz, who ran towards her. . .only for Peach to slug Nazz in the face with an uppercut! Peach then grabbed Nazz by her shirt, and threw her into the ring apron chest first! Peach then pushed Nazz into the ring under the bottom rope. Peach went for the quick cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!!!

Peach pulled Nazz up by the hair, only to take her back down to the mat with a snapmare! Peach then whacked Nazz in the back with a swift kick, then landed a falling elbow to her sternum. Peach went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!!! Peach pulled Nazz up by the hair again, only for Nazz to surprise the Women’s Champion with elbows to the face until she broke free from Peach’s grasp! Nazz then turned around to face the Women’s Champion and tied her up into a waist lock before taking her down with an arm drag! Nazz then ran against the ropes and landed a Leg Drop onto Peach! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out!

“Let’s not forget that even though this triple threat match is for the Women’s Championship, it also goes by the same basic triple threat rules: no countout, and no disqualification!” Early informed, as Nazz knelt over Peach and hammered away at her face with right hands!

“That’s right!” Shake asserted. “These three women can do whatever they want to each other, and there’s nothing the referee can do about it! But you’ve got to think that those rules could bode well in Peach’s favor!”

Nazz continued to punch Peach in the face. . .until Sora slid back into the ring and nailed her in the lower back with a dropkick! The Assistant With Assets sold her back as she stood up, leaving Peach to roll out of the ring to recollect herself. Nazz came face-to-face with Sora as they came into a brief staredown in the ring, with the crowd roaring in anticipation!”

“And now the fans are on their feet, Shake!” Early said in excitement! “These two women alone in the ring is exactly what they want to see, and quite frankly, so do I!”

“It’s a dream match everyone’s wanted to see happen! And we’re gonna see these two lock up on pay-per-view for the first time!” Shake said, before Sora and Nazz charged toward each other and got into a tie-up! Sora put Nazz in a waist-lock only for Nazz to counter out of it and put Sora in a wrist-lock, then maneuver herself behind her and lift her up for a back drop. . .but Sora dropped out of it and took Nazz down with a reverse DDT! Sora went for the quick cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!!! Sora pulled Nazz up to her feet, only for Nazz to drive Sora up against the ropes, and shove her off her on the bounceback. As Sora bounced off the ropes on the other side of the ring, Nazz went for a Tornado DDT. . .only for Sora to counter it with a Suplex!!! Sora pulled Nazz back up and Irish whipped her toward a corner, only for Nazz to bounce out of the corner HARD, and take Sora down with a Clothesline! Nazz taunted for Sora to get up and as she did, Nazz took her down with another clothesline! Sora stood up again. . .only for Nazz to take her down with a Facebuster!!! As Sora stumbled toward the ropes in a daze, Nazz shoved her into a corner, then stood onto the second rope and landed ten punches to her face, with the crowd counting in unison to each punch! Nazz stepped out of the corner after landing the tenth punch. . .upon which, Sora fell into a seated position in the corner!!!

“Oh no. . .” Shake said, as Nazz skipped to the opposite corner excitedly!!!

“This may be a dream encounter. . .” Early said while Nazz gave the DX crotch chop to Sora! “But for Sora, the position she’s in is a nightmare!”

Nazz charged toward Sora. . .

. . .ONLY FOR PEACH TO LEAP OFF FROM ANOTHER CORNER AND TAKE HER DOWN WITH A DIVING TORNADO DDT!!! 

“Wait a minute! The Women’s Champion from out of nowhere has found the right opportunity to strike!” Early said, as Peach went for the pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 NAZZ KICKED OUT!!! Peach couldn’t believe it! Peach then drug Nazz by the legs into the center of the ring. . .and locked her into the Boston Crab! Nazz screamed in agonizing pain as Peach pressed onto Nazz’s back even more with a free knee! The referee asked Nazz if she wanted to quit, but she shook her head no before inching toward the ropes. Peach screamed “TAP OUT, BITCH!!!” to the Assistant With Assets, who crawled closer to the ropes. . .

. . .extended her hand out. . .

. . .UNTIL SORA TOOK PEACH DOWN WITH A SPEAR, BREAKING THE HOLD!!! 

“Sora making the save for Nazz. . .but going for a pin on her!!! We’re gonna have a new Women’s Champion!” Early screamed, as Sora went for the cover on Nazz, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 NAZZ GRABBED ONTO THE ROPES WITH A FREE HAND!!!

“By God, how close was that???” Early asked as Sora rolled off the cover in disbelief! Sora then rolled onto her chest and pushed herself up to her feet while Nazz pulled herself up with the ropes. . .until Peach tied up Sora’s arms and took her down with a Full Nelson Slam! Peach then ran toward Nazz and took her down with a Bulldog!!! Peach then looked up with wide, intense eyes, and a psychotic smile at the crowd, which erupted into boos!

“And now Peach has gained the upper hand in this matchup!” Early declared, as Peach climbed up to the top rope, laughing maniacally the whole way up!

“She thinks she has this match won, and she’s relieved about it! The tough part is almost OVER---“ Shake said, until Peach leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .ONLY FOR SORA TO ROLL OUT OF THE WAY, SENDING PEACH TO LAND HARD ONTO THE MAT!!! Sora then knelt over Peach. . .

. . .AND LOCKED HER IN THE CROSSFACE!!! The crowd erupted into cheers as Sora locked in the submission, and Peach screamed in agonizing pain!!! 

“NO! SORA’S GOT THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN!!! SHE’S GOT THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN ON THE WOMEN’S CHAMPION!!!” Early screamed unintelligibly—

\--until Nazz landed an elbow to Sora, breaking the hold!!! Nazz pushed Peach onto her back for a pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SORA BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!! Sora pulled Peach up to her feet, and landed a chop to her chest. Sora then ran toward the ropes, leaping onto them. . .

. . .and landing a Springboard Dropkick onto Peach, sending her to careen into Nazz and knock her down as well!!! Sora then looked up at the corner next to her and strode towards it. . .only for Nazz to charge toward Sora and take her down with a chop block! Nazz quickly went for a bridge pin attempt! 1. . . 

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SORA KICKED OUT!!! Nazz couldn’t believe it!! Nazz then pulled Sora up by the shirt, and lifted her up for an Atomic Drop, only for Sora to flip out of it behind her, and push her toward the ropes! Nazz bounced back, right into a Monkey Flip from Sora!!! Nazz slowly rose up to her feet and she and Sora charged toward each other, getting into a tie-up near the center of the ring. Sora put Nazz into a wrist-lock only for Nazz to counter it into an Irish whip! As Sora bounced back off the ropes, Nazz lifted her up and took her down with a Pumphandle Slam!!! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 PEACH BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!! All three women were down in the center of the ring as the crowd rose to its feet!!!

“BAH GAWD!!! All three of these women are down! Who’s gonna win the XCW Women’s Championship???” Early wondered, as Nazz pulled herself up to her feet with the ropes, while Sora pulled herself up on another side of the ring, and Peach rolled out of the ring!

“Wait a minute. What’s the Women’s Champion looking to do here?” Shake asked, as Peach stomped to the timekeeper’s booth and grabbed the Women’s title belt!!

“Shades of Endgame! Peach is looking to steal the victory and keep the Women’s title belt in her grasp once again!” Early said, as Peach ran back into the ring with an incensed, psychotic look on her face! Meanwhile, in the ring, Sora and Nazz came to blows, each of them trading right hands until Nazz surprised Sora with an elbow to the face! Nazz then latched onto Sora’s neck with a headlock. . .leapt towards the ropes for All That Nazz. . .

. . .ONLY FOR PEACH TO CLOCK NAZZ IN THE FACE WITH THE TITLE BELT!!! Nazz fell to the mat, knocked completely out cold!!!!

“OH MY GOD!!!” yelled Early! “D-ED’S ASSISTANT WITH ASSETS HAS BEEN LAID OUT THANKS TO OUR PSYCHOTIC WOMEN’S CHAMPION!!!” Peach entered the ring above the second rope and charged toward Sora with the title belt cocked back. . .

. . .but Sora ducked!!! Sora then nailed Peach in the abdomen with a kick, then Irish whipped her toward the ropes. . .

. . .and on the bounceback, took her down with a Soracanrana!!! The fans were on their feet as Sora stood up with a determined look on her face, and strode toward the corner!!!

“SORA NOW KNOWS WHAT’S COMING!!!” Early declared, as Sora climbed to the top rope. “THE FANS KNOW WHAT’S COMING!!!”

“EVERYBODY BUT PEACH!!!” Shake yelled. “SHE PROBABLY DOESN’T KNOW SHE’S GONNA GET WHAT’S COMING TO HER!!!”

Sora sized Peach up. . .leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! Selling her chest, Sora crawled on top of Peach for the cover!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“IT’S OVER!! IT’S OVER!!! WE’VE GOT A NEW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!!!” screamed Early, as Sora rolled off Peach after the bell rang!

“Here is your winner. . .AND THE NEW XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WOMEN’S CHAMPION. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!”

“FOUR MONTHS AGO, SORA BECAME THE FIRST EVER XCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION, AND NOW ON THIS NIGHT, FOUR MONTHS LATER, SORA WILL WEAR THE WOMEN’S TITLE BELT FOR A SECOND TIME!!!” Early screamed somehow intelligibly as the referee raised Sora’s arm in victory, and handed her the title belt!

“It’s been a wave of emotion for Sora in the past few weeks!” Shake said, as Sora held the belt close to her chest, her eyes tearing up. “She gave a valiant effort in her match at Endgame in a losing effort, then she wins the first intergender match in XCW against Jon Arbuckle. . .she wins three awards at the Fiction Wrestling Awards, including Diva of the Year—“

“—and from this night forward, Sora can stand next to her husband, the World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya, as a Champion with him!!!” Early finished while Sora climbed onto the top rope, and raised the Women’s title belt above her head toward the fans in celebration!

Meanwhile, at the foot of the ramp, Peach looked up at Sora, infuriated and in utter disbelief!

“Sora taught Peach a lesson in respect, all right!” Shake said. “But that look tells me that Peach is not through with Sora just yet!”

“You may be right about that, but if there’s one other thing to be sure about, it’s that Sora Takenouchi will represent XCW proud as our new Women’s Champion, and has proven outright that she deserved to win this year’s Diva of the Year award!” Early said, as he and Shake sat at the announcer’s table. 

“But right now, ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to introduce you all to yet another newcomer to the fiction wrestling industry, and Shake, this is someone who could very well challenge for the Diva of the Year award for many years to come!”

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Shake said. “This tough but very attractive female has risen through the ranks in XCW’s developmental league, and has recently been signed to the rosters of Total Championship Wresting, the Women’s Wrestling League, and now she’s applied to wrestle for the 2012 Company of the Year, Ultimate Wrestling Entertainment!”

“Before training with us, she was making a killing as a supermodel! But she’s going from walking down catwalks and modeling lingerie to stepping into the squared circle and remodeling the faces of her opponents! Ladies and gentlemen, we give you A Closer Look. . .at ‘The Jade’, Jessica Wilson!”

A video package began to play, where at an in-ground swimming pool, in front of a massive mansion, the camera slowly pans right, until a small pair of feet are seen hanging off the edge of a red lounge chair.

“It’s so freakin’ good to be me.”

The camera pans right even more, revealing more of Jessica’s long, perfectly formed legs.

“I was born with the perfect body. . .”

A montage of shots from a series of fashion shows played, featuring Jessica walking down a runway modeling lingerie, coats, and other various clothes, all of which came in different colors.

“. . .the perfect hair. . .”

The footage cut to a wide shot of Jessica standing in front of a wooden background. She held her long, dark brown hair up and away from her body, and slowly let it all slip from her fingers, letting it fall to her sides, the ends of her locks brushing the top of her jeans.

“. . .and the perfect life.”

A montage of shots featured the model laying on a large, lavish king-size bed, sitting on a large bag of money in a walk-in safe, with more piles of money to her left and right, and sitting in a hot tub full of bubbles looking up at the largest flat-screen TV ever.

Back at the pool, the camera continued to slowly pan right, up Jessica’s body, revealing her torso, clad in a matching green bra and panties.

“I have everything I could ever want out of life, and the perfect personality to boot.”

Another montage of shots featured Jessica walking down a brightly-lit sidewalk with other girls in killer dresses and nightlife wear, and dancing with them in various nightclubs.

“I see girls in the ring that look like me. . .but they throw one punch, and they break a nail and cry.”*

Back at the pool, the camera panned up Jessica’s body, revealing her neck and face, clad in sunglasses, small golden hoop earrings, and sideswept bangs covering her forehead.

“So people ask me, ‘Jessica, Why are you giving up your modeling career for a wrestling career?’ And I tell them. . .”

Jessica rolls onto her stomach and looks in the camera as she removes her glasses, revealing royal blue eyes.

“So I can be a role model and a supermodel. . .”

Footage played out of Jessica in a wrestling ring practing submission holds and wrestling moves on a personal trainer.

“. . .kick ass and look good doing it!”

High definition wrestling footage played out, showing various shots of Jessica locking various submission holds onto a variety of characters.

“I’m going from modeling clothes to remodeling faces. . .”

More footage of a wrestling match played out in a montage, featuring Jessica planting Meg Griffin down to the mat with the Fameasser, a trio of German suplexes, and even a Gutwrench Powerbomb!

“. . .and if you don’t like me. . .

Back at the pool, Jessica stood up from the chair and wrapped a towel around her body as she walked towards the camera.

“. . .you’re f*cking jaded.”

In the wrestling match, Jessica whacked Meg in the face with a superkick. . .her kicking foot wearing a high heel shoe!

“I am The Jade. . .Jessica Wilson.”

The final shot of the video package shows Jessica standing in the wrestling ring holding a title belt high above her head, with her high-heel clad foot planted firmly on Meg’s chest until the video package faded out to a commercial break.

As the show returned from break, Space Ghost walked down a hallway with his cell phone up to his ear.

“So, we’re set, then?” Space Ghost asked as Claude Speed walked up to him, the Television title and Toon Hardcore title draped over each shoulder. Space Ghost looked up at Claude and smiled, raising one finger.

“Great! I’m looking forward to it, sir! See you then.”

Space Ghost hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket before looking back at Claude.

“Ah! Claude! Our World Television Champion! How are you?” Space Ghost asked.

“Doing pretty awesome, Space Ghost.” answered Claude. I’m more than ready for tonight and Best in the World! What are you so excited about?”

“Well, Claude, you’re one of the reasons why! You see, thanks to your award wins, and the six more awards XCW won at the FWAs this past weekend, things are looking more up for XCW by the minute! Our Diva of the Year is the new Women’s Champion, you’re representing us in the Best in the World tournament, AND I just got done negotiating with an arena, so we are booked for our next pay-per-view, Heatwave!”

“That’s great, Space Ghost!” Claude said excitedly. “Where are we going?”

“. . .Liberty City!”

Claude’s smile immediately fell into a look of disbelief.

“It’s gonna be the best pay-per-view of the summer, and I can’t think of a better place for it to be than your old stomping grounds! Good luck in your match tonight!” Space Ghost said before walking past Claude. Claude was left speechless until the show went back to the ring, where Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following tag team contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Championship!!!”

All the lights in the arena went off. Suddenly. . .the following words came from the titantron.

"ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Eddy, Ed, and Edd jumped onto the stage from below it! Raising their hands above their heads, Ed and Eddy strode down the ramp with Edd right behind them.

"Introducing first, the challengers. Being accompanied to the ring by Double D. . .from Peach Creek. . .Ed and Eddy. . .D-GENERATION-ED!"

Ed and Eddy slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, both of them making the word ‘ED’ with their hands above their heads toward the fans.

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, up next we have a rematch between two of the most storied teams in the history of this business!” Early said. “But this time, the Sockhead Double D is with D-Ed for moral support, because taking his place in the ring tonight is their new leader, and 2-time World Champion, Eddy!”

They met in the center of the ring, with Edd right next to them, and did the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

“D-Generation Ed said the night after they lost the tag titles to their opponents tonight that they were looking to adapt to the times, as well as their competition, and they did it in no better way than by reaching out to their friend and current PCUW Champion Eddy.” Shake informed. “Eddy accepted, and signed with XCW! Based on their combined three reigns as World Champions in this business, to me, they have the upper hand in this match!”

"What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played, as Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman walked onto the stage with Kyle Broflovski right behind them to a chorus of boos from the crowd.

“And their opponents. . .representing the South Park Four. . .being accompanied to the ring by Kyle Broflovski. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .the team of THE ENFORCER, ERIC CARTMAN, AND THE LEADER, STAN MARSH!"

“These three men may have made their mark since debuting in XCW a month ago, but as far as I’m concerned, they’ve lost some of my personal respect!” Early said, as Stan, Kyle and Cartman ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising the belts toward the fans, who only booed back at them.

“Not only did they win the XCW Tag Titles in controversial fashion at Endgame, but they also had the gall to accuse the Eds of kissing each other’s asses, and on top of that, Kenny and Rolf are STILL in the back fighting over the XCW Hardcore Championship! These two teams flat-out HATE each other, and something’s gotta give between them here tonight!” Shake said, until the bell rang and the match began with Ed facing off against Cartman, while Kyle glared at Edd from across the ring at ringside.

Ed and Cartman charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring with a tie-up. Cartman attempted to put Ed in a front face lock, only for the Monobrowed Monster to pull himself up and take Cartman down with a back body drop! Ed then pulled Cartman up to his feet and nailed him in the chest with a hard body punch! Ed continued to hit the Enforcer with body shot after body shot until he was driven against the ropes. Ed then Irish whipped Cartman. . .only for Cartman to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! Ed bounced back and Cartman went for a clothesline. . .only for Ed to knock Cartman down with a massive clothesline of his own! Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Cartman kicked out!

Ed pulled Cartman to a standing position and took him down with a fireman’s carry. Ed then lifted Cartman back to his feet, only for Cartman to surprise him with an eye rake! Cartman then put Ed in a headlock and rammed him in the gut with knee strikes before whipping him into a corner. Cartman then stood on the second turnbuckle, looking to land a series of punches to Ed’s head. . .until Ed grabbed Cartman by the sides and threw him down to the mat face-first!!! Ed pulled Cartman up and took him back down with a belly-to-belly side slam! Ed went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Cartman kicked out!!!

Ed pulled Cartman up by the shirt and pulled him toward his corner before tagging in Eddy, who came into the match to cheers from the crowd! 

“And here comes Eddy for the first time in this match!” Early said while Eddy and Ed kicked a mudhole into Cartman, sending him to fall into a seated position in the corner. Eddy pulled Cartman out of the corner and slugged him in the face with a right hand, only for Cartman to come right back and hit Eddy with a right hand! Cartman then Irish whipped Eddy toward the South Park Four’s corner, only for Eddy to counter it with an Irish whip of his own. As Cartman reached the corner, he made the tag to Stan, who entered the ring to a chorus of boos. Stan charged toward Eddy and they met in a tie-up near the center of the ring. Stan put Eddy in a waist lock and slugged him in the back with a right hand before taking him down with a back drop! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out!

Stan pulled Eddy up to his feet and put him in a headlock and took him down with a side headlock takedown, furiously wrenching on Eddy’s neck! Ed stormed into the ring, stomping on Stan to break the hold! Cartman quickly ran into the ring, only for Ed to return to his place behind the ropes on the apron. Cartman stared Ed down angrily as he stepped behind the ropes in his corner. Meanwhile, Eddy and Stan stood up and got into another tie-up, with Eddy putting Stan in a wrist lock and taking him down with an armbar, then landing a leg drop onto Stan’s shoulder! Eddy went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!!!

“The 2-time World Champion and The Leader of South Park are giving their all to each other right now in this battle of bitter rivals!” Early said, as Eddy pulled Stan up. . .only for Stan to surprise Eddy with a kick to the midsection, then take him down with a Gutbuster! Stan then Irish whipped Eddy toward his corner and tagged in Cartman, who entered the ring and helped The Leader take Eddy down with a double suplex! Cartman then hit Eddy in the gut with a swift kick before running against the ropes and landing a falling elbow to the chest! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out!!! 

Cartman pulled Eddy up to his feet and kicked him in the midsection, went for the South Park Stunner, only for Eddy to push Cartman toward the ropes! On the bounceback, however, Cartman landed a Lou Thesz Press onto Eddy, hammering away at his face with thunderous right and left hands! Cartman then pulled Eddy by the hair to his corner before tagging Stan back in. Stan entered the ring and helped Cartman kick a mudhole into Eddy. Stan then tagged Cartman back in and they continued to wail away onto Eddy’s body with furious stomps! The referee ordered them to stop, and began the five count, with Cartman and Stan easing off when the count reached four. . .only for Cartman to choke Eddy in the corner with his foot!

“This match has turned into an absolute mugging now!” Early declared. “These two are having their way with D-Ed’s new leader!”

“So much for D-Ed having the edge in this matchup!” Shake said. “The Tag Team Champions are just manhandling him!”

Stan took his place behind the ropes in his corner as Cartman finally pulled Eddy out of the corner and Irish whipped him toward the ropes, then whacked him down to the mat with a massive elbow! Cartman then ran against the ropes behind him, and on the bounceback, went for the Big Boy Splash. . .

. . .ONLY FOR EDDY TO SPIN OUT OF THE WAY, CAUSING CARTMAN TO LAND ONTO THE MAT WITH A SICKENING THUD!!! Cartman screamed in pain as Eddy crawled to the ropes, pulling himself up with them. Eddy lumbered toward Cartman and hit him with a right hand after pulling him up. Eddy then Irish whipped Cartman toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, sent him reeling with an inverted atomic drop!!! Cartman stumbled toward his corner looking for a tag. . .

. . .ONLY FOR EDD TO PULL STAN OFF THE RING APRON AND SLUG HIM WITH RIGHT HANDS!!!

“And now the Sockhead Double D keeping the South Park Leader from being able to inflict more pain on Eddy!” Early said, as Kyle charged toward Edd and took him down with a chop block, then locked him in the Figure Four Leg Lock!!!

“But look at the Submission Specialist, Kyle! He’s keeping Double D at bay!” Shake exclaimed, as Edd screamed in agonizing pain at ringside, prompting the referee to walk over to the ringside floor and try to break it up!!! However, Kyle only intensified the hold, causing the referee to eject both Kyle and Edd from ringside!!!

“And just like that, the security for both the South Park Four and D-Ed are out of this match!!!” Early declared, as Kyle let go of Edd and shouted at the referee before striding angrily up the ramp and to the backstage area! The referee slid back into the ring while Stan slowly climbed back onto the ring apron. Back in the ring, Cartman stumbled back toward Eddy, who took him down with a Spinebuster!!! Eddy and Cartman were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count!

“Both of the legal men are down!” Early said. “Who’s gonna make it in first, the South Park Leader, or the 2012 Superstar of the Year???”

Ed and Stan slapped their hands against the top corners in front of them as their partners crawled closer toward them. Eddy and Cartman extended their hands out. . .

. . .reached for their partners hands. . .

. . .and successfully made the tags, with Ed getting tagged in just a second before Stan!

“And here they come!” Early cried, as Ed and Stan entered the ring and charged toward each other, with Ed taking down Stan with a Clothesline! Ed taunted for Stan to get up, and ran toward him again to take him down with another Clothesline!!! Ed then pulled Stan up to his feet, only for Stan to surprise Ed with a chop to the chest! Stan then Irish whipped Ed toward the ropes. . .only for Ed to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! As Stan bounced back, Ed caught him and nailed him with a headbutt before taking him down with a huge belly-to-belly suplex!!! Ed stood up and let out an intense yell before doing Randy Orton’s wake-up taunt!

“And now the Monobrowed Monster Ed is looking to finally put the dagger into this match!” Early said, as Stan slowly pushed himself up to his feet. Stan turned around groggily before Ed lifted him up. . .sat him on his shoulders for the Eledrifier. . .

. . .ONLY FOR STAN TO DROP OUT OF IT AND SWEEP ED’S LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HIM!!! Stan then turned Ed onto his chest and locked him in the Sharpshooter!!! Ed screamed in agonizing pain as Stan intensified the hold!!!

“NO! STAN COUNTERED OUT THE ELEDRIFER ONCE AGAIN!!!” Early screamed as the referee knelt next to Ed and asked him if he wanted to quit. Ed shook his head no as he struggled to push himself toward the ropes!!! 

“He’s got him dead to rights!” Shake exclaimed as Eddy charged into the ring, with Cartman charging right towards him! They got into a tie-up on the right side of the ring until the referee came over to break their fight apart—

\--ONLY FOR CARTMAN TO KNOCK HIM DOWN WITH A PUNCH TO THE FACE!!! 

“BAH GAWD!!!” Early screamed. “THE REFEREE IS DOWN!! NOT THIS AGAIN!” 

As Cartman and Eddy began to trade furies of punches, Stan only intensified the Sharpshooter! Grimacing in pain, Ed inched closer toward the ropes. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .and heard a steel chair shot?

“Wait a minute!!!” Shake exclaimed as Stan looked up at the stage to see Kenny McCormick, with a busted open Luigi charging toward him with a steel chair, and a bloody Rolf laid out on the stage floor! Kenny then sprinted down the ramp with Luigi not far behind him!

“BAH GAWD!! THE THREE WAY BRAWL FOR THE HARDCORE TITLE HAS MADE ITS WAY TO THE ARENA!!!” yelled Early as Eddy kneed Cartman in the gut, hooked his arms. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE EDIGREE!!! As Eddy stepped toward Stan, he let go of the Sharpshooter and turned to face Eddy, completely unaware that Kenny and Luigi were sliding into the ring!!! Stan and Eddy stepped toward each other as Kenny ran in between them! Luigi cocked back the steel chair, aiming for Kenny. . .

. . .ONLY FOR STAN TO GRAB EDDY AND PULL HIM IN HIS PATH!!! LUIGI KNOCKED EDDY OUT COLD WITH THE CHAIR!!!

“BAH GAWD!!! It’s absolute chaos out here!!!” Early yelled, as Kenny slid out of the ring from the other side of the ring and escaped through the crowd while Stan kicked Luigi in the midsection, and took him down with a South Park Stunner!!! 

Stan then kicked Luigi and Eddy out of the ring under the bottom rope, and turned to see that Ed was pulling himself up with the ropes, selling his lower back in pain! With a sadistic smile on his face, Stan then picked up the steel chair. . .

. . .cocked it back, waiting for Ed to turn around. . .

. . .AND HIT ED WITH THE CHAIR, knocking him down and busting him open!!! 

“OOOOH MY GOD! STAN AGAIN USING A DAMN CHAIR!!!” cried Early, as Stan went for the cover, hooking the leg as the referee woke up!

The referee made the count! 1. . .

“NO!”

2\. . .

“NOT THIS WAY!!!”

. . .3!!!

“DAMN IT!”

Stan rolled off Ed and pumped his fists in the air as the bell rang!

“The winners of this match. . .AND STILL XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. . .’THE ENFORCER’, ERIC CARTMAN AND ‘THE LEADER’, STAN MARSH!!!”

“Yeah, Stan Marsh is a real leader, all right!” Early said in disgust as Cartman slid back into the ring and helped Stan up to his feet.

“Early, I’ve got a feeling that it doesn’t matter who’s leading D-Ed, or which D-Ed members the South Park Four face!” Shake said. “There’s too many of them, and they use that to their advantage! When they all get involved at once, they outnumber you, and they don’t care whether it’s legal or not!”

The referee raised Stan and Cartman’s arms in victory and handed them their title belts. Stan and Cartman smiled in satisfaction as they left the ring, looking around the ringside area at Ed and Eddy who were still out cold.

“They outnumber you, don’t play by the rules, they’re dangerous with chairs. . .Shake, they’re outright dangerous as the Tag Team Champions---WAIT A MINUTE!!!” 

Stan and Cartman raised their title belts high above their heads as they turned to walk up the ramp. . .

. . .TO BE KNOCKED DOWN TO THE FLOOR BY A LADDER SHOT FROM EDD!!!

“MY GOD!!! The Sockhead, Double D, just laid out the Tag Team Champions!!!” Early exclaimed, as Double D threw the ladder down and scowled at Stan and Cartman!

“They have no idea what hit them!!!” Shake said.

“Or of what’s woken up inside Double D!!! You’ve got to think Kyle’s incapacitated, too!”

Edd picked up both tag title belts and raised them high above his head!

“Double D just sent an emphatic message to our tag team champions!” Early said. “They’re not giving up until the tag title belts are theirs!”

Edd dropped the tag title belts next to Stan and Cartman, his scowl never leaving his face.

Meanwhile, in a parking lot in the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski and Garfield were walking toward each other.

“Excuse me, Garfield!” Carl asked, with a microphone in hand. “Tonight, you will be facing the Harwood Butcher one-on-one inside the debuting Cell of Chaos. If I may ask, how have you gone about preparing for the match?”

Garfield sneered down at Carl, then let out a low growl before continuing to walk away from Carl.

“Wait! Garfield---“

Garfield continued walking away and ignoring Carl, who sighed and turned away, only to see a limousine pulling into the parking lot!

“Wait a minute! What’s going on here?” Early wondered, as Carl walked to the back of the limo.

“Excuse me!” Carl said, knocking on the back side window of the limousine. “I’m XCW staff! I have a right to know who’s pulling into the arena!”

The window of the limo went down, and Carl’s jaw dropped upon seeing the person inside!

“Oh. . .Oh my God!!! You’re here???”

“What the hell??? Who’s inside the limo?” asked Shake, before the show went to a commercial break.

Alrighty, there’s part one. Sorry if the tag title match was hard to follow. I had a really difficult time trying to figure out an ending for it, because there’s something I want to lead to for the next pay-per-view. What it is. . .you’ll find out soon enough. ;)

As always, let me know if anything doesn’t make sense, and if the characters stayed in-character or not. Part two will come soon. Until then, read and review!


	28. XCW Nightfire: Part 2

Hey XCW fans!!! Following the Royal Rumble match, and less than a week until the Super Bowl comes part two of XCW Nightfire! I only own my championships.

As the show returned from a commercial break, Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Television Championship!!!”

"What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage.

"Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!"

“Well, we’re back live here at Nightfire, and up next we have a matchup pitting old school versus new school! Bugs Bunny looks to reclaim the XCW Television Championship of the World right now against Claude Speed!”

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

“And for the past couple weeks, Bugs initiated a game of one-upsmanship between him and Claude, by defeating Hotsuma in a faster time than Claude did the previous week! It would escalate even later that night when Claude beat Daffy Duck in singles competition. But all the one-upsmanship and hype for this match will be swept under the rug, and by the end of the night, only one of these two men will be the XCW World Television Champion!”

Pyro erupted on the stage, and "No Mercy" by Pharaoh Monche played! Claude Speed walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with a barbed-wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand, the Toon WWE Hardcore title belt around his waist, and the Televison title belt draped over his shoulder.

"And his opponent. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .he is Liberty City's Lucifer. . .the Toon WWE Hardcore Champion. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"

“Now Shake, in my mind, there is no one else in this business who has risen as far to the top of this industry faster than this man, Claude Speed! He’s already a five-time Hardcore Champion, including his current reign as WWE’s Toon Hardcore Champion, and the current XCW World Television Champion!”

Claude then entered the ring through the second rope and climbed onto the second turnbuckle, raising the Toon Hardcore title belt and the XCW Television Championship belt above his head toward the fans.

“But that’s not all, Early!” added Shake. “Not only is Claude representing XCW at this year’s Wrestlemania, he’s also one of the many men who will be fighting in the Best in the World tournament at the Best in the World pay-per-view! And in just a five-month span, Claude has went from a two-bit carjacker to fighting against the legendary Bugs Bunny here tonight! I can’t wait to see these two collide!”

The bell rang and the match began with Bugs and Claude pacing around the ring facing each other, each of them engaged in a staredown. Claude and Bugs then ran toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring in a tie-up. Bugs then put Claude in a waist-lock, only for Claude to nail Bugs in the face with an elbow and put him in a waist-lock of his own! Claude lifted Bugs for a back suplex. . .only for Bugs to drop out of it and shove Claude toward the ropes! As Claude bounced back, he went for the Bicycle Kick. . .but Bugs ducked! Claude hit the ropes in front of him and on the bounceback, ran into a right hand from Bugs! Bugs hit him with a punch combination before Irish whipping him again. . .only for Claude to counter with an Irish whip of his own! As Bugs bounced back, Claude hit him with a right hand of his own! Claude went for another right hand. . .only for Bugs to catch it and kick Claude in the midsection! Bugs then went for a Gutwrench Powerbomb. . .only for Claude to drop out of it and Irish whip Bugs toward the ropes. . .only for Bugs to grab onto the ropes before bouncing back. Bugs then turned around came face-to-face with Claude!

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are at a standoff!” Early declared, as Bugs and Claude exchanged words of one-upsmanship while the crowd applauded!

“You’ve got that right! These two can’t find a weakness in each other!” Shake said, before Bugs and Claude got into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Bugs put Claude in a side headlock, then took him down with a side headlock takedown, wrenching on his neck until Claude took him down with an arm drag! Claude and Bugs charged toward each other and got into another tie-up, only for Bugs to quickly take Claude down with a fireman’s carry. Bugs went for the cover 1. . .Claude kicked out! Bugs pulled the Television Champion up by the collar and hit him in the face with another right hand. Bugs then Irish whipped Claude toward the ropes behind him, causing Claude to fall over them and down to the ringside floor with a thud! Bugs then stepped onto the ring apron over the second rope. . .sized Claude up before leaping off the apron---

\---only for Claude to catch him in mid-air! Claude then charged toward the ring and drove Bugs back-first into the ring apron! Claude let go of the Animation Icon and slid him into the ring under the bottom rope, and followed him back in afterwards. Claude then went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!

“Bugs just learned one thing you never do, and that is bring a match against Claude Speed to the ringside area!” Early said.

“You got that right!” agreed Shake. “Claude has proven time and time again that he is dangerous outside the ring, especially under Hardcore stipulations! But this match has to be won in the ring, and right now in that very ring, Claude Speed is looking to regain control!”  
Claude pulled Bugs up by the ears and went for a right hand. . .only for Bugs to block it and whack Claude in the chest with a chop! Bugs nailed Claude in the chest with chop after chop until he was backed up against the ropes. Bugs then Irish whipped Claude chest-first into a corner. Bugs then turned Claude around and nailed him in the chest with even more chops, with the crowd chanting “WOOO!” in unison with each chop! Bugs then hit Claude in the chin with a high knee. . .put him in a headlock. . .

. . .and went for a bulldog, only for Claude to shove him off, sending Bugs to land hard onto the mat! Claude then charged forward and tackled Bugs into the other corner. Claude then pummeled the Animation Icon with furious right and left hands to his chest and head, then climbed onto the second rope and hit him in the face with ten consecutive punches, with the crowd counting in unison with each punch. Claude brought his arm down for one final punch. . .but Bugs grabbed onto Claude’s sides, and walked out of the corner! 

“NO! Claude was punching a mudhole into Bugs, but Bugs is looking to counter it with the Bunny Bomb!” Early said. . .before Bugs fell backwards, sending Claude face-first into the turnbuckle behind him! Claude sold his face and jaw in pain while Bugs pushed himself up to his feet. Claude stood up and ran toward Bugs, only for Bugs to knock him back down with a clothesline! Bugs then pulled Claude up by his jacket and whacked him in the chest with another chop before picking him up and slamming him down with a Scoop Slam! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Claude kicked out!

Bugs pulled Claude back up only for Claude to hit him with a surprise right hand! Claude then Irish whipped Bugs toward the ropes behind him and took him down with a Lou Thesz Press on the bounceback, then hammered away at his face with more right and left hands! Claude then stood up to cheers from the crowd, and stepped toward a corner. Bugs then pushed himself up to a standing position, selling his head as Claude charged toward him. . .

. . .only for Bugs to spin out of the way and send Claude shoulder first into the corner!!! Bugs then pulled the Television Champion out of the corner and took him down with a Gutwrench Powerbomb! Bugs then ran against the ropes and landed a falling elbow onto Claude’s chest before going for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 Claude kicked out! Bugs couldn’t believe it! 

“One mistake may have given the opening that Bugs needed in this matchup for the Television Championship of the World!” Early said. “Can he capitalize?”

Bugs pulled Claude up and whacked him in the chest with more chops before Irish whipping him across the ring. Bugs went for the Karate Kick. . .

. . .but Claude slid under it! Bugs turned around and went for a Leg Drop, only for Claude to quickly roll up to his feet, pull Bugs up by the ears, and slug him with a huge elbow to the face! Claude then draped Bugs’s arm over his shoulder and took him down with a forward suplex! Claude then looked up to face the crowd, who cheered him on! 

“And Claude now has gained the upper hand! Will he retain the World Television Championship???” Early asked before Claude taunted for Bugs to stand up! Claude then ran against the ropes behind him, going for a spear. . .but Bugs charged at Claude for a spear of his own---

\---AND THEIR HEADS COLLIDED AT THE SAME TIME!!! Both Bugs and Claude were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count, with the crowd chanting “X-C-DUB!” “X-C-DUB!”

“BAH GAWD!” Early cried. “Bugs is down! Claude is down! Who’s gonna win the XCW World Television Championship????”

“These two have put on a clinic against each other!” Shake said. “Whoever gets up first will have the upper hand for the rest of this match!!!”

Claude and Bugs both clenched their heads, selling the impact of their collision as they stumbled up to their feet. Bugs and Claude then traded another set of right hands, with the crowd cheering in unison with each punch! 

“And listen to these fans!” Early said. “They’re on the edge of their seat here in O-Town!”

They continued trading punches until Claude surprised Bugs with a left hand! Claude then hit Bugs with punch after punch until he clenched his head. Claude then Irish whipped Bugs toward the ropes on the other side of the ring. . .only for Bugs to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! Bugs ran toward Claude. . .

. . .ONLY FOR CLAUDE TO CONNECT WITH A SPEAR!!! Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 BUGS KICKED OUT!!! Claude rolled onto his back with a look of disbelief on his face! 

 

“Claude finally connected with the Spear. . .but it isn’t enough to put the wily veteran and animation icon Bugs Bunny away!” Early said, as Claude stood up and taunted for Bugs to stand up!

“But it looks like he’s about to do just that Early!” Shake said as Claude ran toward Bugs, swung his legs for the Bicycle Kick. . .

. . .but Bugs caught Claude’s leg in time! Bugs spun Claude around and put him in a Full Nelson lock. . .only for Claude to kick Bugs in the knee! Claude then put Bugs in a side headlock. . .only for Bugs to push Claude toward the ropes, and shove him off on the bounceback! As Claude bounced off the ropes on the other side, Bugs kicked him in the midsection. . .lifted him up. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED CLAUDE DOWN WITH THE BUNNY BOMB!!!

“AND THE ANIMATION ICON HAS GAINED THE UPPER HAND!!!” Early said. “WE’RE GONNA HAVE A NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!!” Early screamed as Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!! Bugs punched the mat in frustration!!! 

“Bugs has put his heart and soul into the fight he’s given here tonight. . .but he may have to give more to win this match and reclaim the TV title!!!” Shake said, as Bugs pushed himself up to his feet and taunted for Claude to stand up! Claude slowly staggered up to his feet. . .turned around to face Bugs, who went for the Karate Kick---

\---but Claude grabbed Bugs by the foot and took him down with an Inverted Atomic Drop!!! Bugs stumbled around the ring in a daze while Claude ran against the ropes behind him and took him down with an inverted DDT!!! Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 BUGS KICKED OUT!!!!!!!! Claude rolled off Bugs and pulled him up to his feet before throwing him toward the ropes! On the bounceback, Claude went for the Bicycle Kick again, but Bugs ducked! Bugs bounced off the ropes behind Claude, tied Claude’s arms up, and took him down with a Full Nelson Slam!!!

“Bugs isn’t giving up without a fight!!!” Early said. “And now he’s looking to put Liberty City’s Lucifer away with the ACME Elbow Drop!!!”

With the crowd erupting into cheers, Bugs climbed up to the top rope. . .

. . .slapped his elbow three times, before leaping off. . .

. . .AND CONNECTING WITH THE ACME ELBOW DROP!!! Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg!!!

“BUGS HAS GOT HIM!” Early screamed as the referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!!!! Bugs shot up to his knees, staring down Claude with a look of disbelief!!!

“BAH GAWD CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!! CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!!” Early yelled unintelligibly!

“WHAT???” exclaimed Shake! “WHAT???”

“WHAT DOES BUGS HAVE TO DO TO PUT CLAUDE AWAY????” asked Early, while Bugs pulled Claude up to his feet and lifted him up for another Bunny Bomb. . .

. . .but Claude dropped out of it and took Bugs down with a swinging neckbreaker!!! Both men were down in the center of the ring, struggling to pull themselves up to their feet while the crowd chanted “THIS IS AWESOME!!!”

“Both men are down, and I agree with the crowd: this match is awesome!!!” Early said excitedly!

“This match has been so back and forth!” Shake said. “I have no idea who’s gonna win it!!!”

Bugs and Claude stood up to their feet and got into a tie up in the center of the ring! Bugs put Claude in a waist-lock and went for a Full Nelson Slam, but Claude fought out of it and Irish whipped Bugs toward the ropes! Claude charged toward Bugs as he bounced back. . .

. . .AND NAILED HIM WITH THE BICYCLE KICK!!!

“AND CLAUDE FINALLY CONNECTS WITH HIS PATENTED BICYCLE KICK!!!” Early screamed before Claude covered Bugs, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

The crowd erupted into a standing ovation as Claude rolled off Bugs, catching his breath after the bell rang!

“The winner of this match. . .AND STILL XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”

“AND IN THIS BATTLE BETWEEN OLD SCHOOL AND NEW SCHOOL, THE NEW SCHOOL REIGNS SUPREME!!!” Early yelled as Claude slowly rose to his feet. The referee raised his arm in victory before giving him the World TV title belt.

“What a match!” Shake said. “These two gave each other a fight that we’ll never forget, and to be quite honest Early, I’d love to see these two go at it again!”

“Claude has taken another large step towards his goal of becoming World Heavyweight Champion, by defeating the legendary Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny! For Claude, the future only looks brighter and brighter!” Early said, as Bugs slowly got up to his feet and extended his hand toward Claude for a handshake.

“Bugs may not be the World Television Champion, but he’s still one of the best sportsmen in this business!” Shake said, as Claude stepped toward him and accepted the handshake to cheers from the crowd!

“If you pull out a dictionary and look up the word ‘class’, you’ll see a picture of Bugs Bunny! These two put on a hell of a fight tonight, and they have quite the respect for each other for it!” Early said, until. . .

“WAIT A MINUTE!!!!”

. . .ARTHUR SLID INTO THE RING AND TACKLED CLAUDE DOWN TO THE MAT!!!

“YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!” screamed Early as the crowd booed the PBS Kid!!! “WHAT A DISGUSTING ACT BY THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE ROOKIE REVOLUTION!!!”

Arthur then stood up and kicked Bugs hard into the midsection, then ran against the ropes and nailed him with a Scissors Kick!!! Arthur then stood over Claude and pulled him up to a standing position before locking him in a headlock. . .

. . .and took him down with the Final Chapter!!! The crowd filled the arena with a chorus of boos as Arthur stared down the Television Champion with a sadistic smile.

“WHAT A DISGUSTING ACT BY THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE ROOKIE REVOLUTION!!!” Early said as Arthur raised an arm above his head with the Rookie Revolution wristband facing the crowd!

“Well, unlike Hotsuma, Arthur plans to make good use of his membership with the interpromotional stable! And he looks to have made plans to bring the Television Championship of the World to the Rookie Revolution!” commented Shake.

Arthur picked up the World TV title belt and raised it high above his head, yelling insults at the crowd until the show went to the backstage area.

In their locker room, Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny finished off celebratory sodas before leaving it, and walking down a hallway.

“Dude! The Claude versus Bugs match was f*cking epic!” Kyle exclaimed.

“Not as epic as our match, though. Tonight, we proved why we deserve these Tag Team titles!” Stan said.

“Stan, you’re so right! I’m so proud to wear this belt around my waist!” Cartman said.

“I’m surprised it could even FIT around your waist, fatass!”

The kids laughed hysterically as they opened the door to a parking garage. Kenny abruptly stops behind him.

“Mph!” muffled Kenny. “Mphh mmmph mph mmmphh mph mmph!”

“Well go get it, Kenny! We’ll be in the car.” Kyle said before letting the door shut. Kenny quickly ran back to the South Park Four’s locker room and unlocked the door with a key. He grabbed his Hardcore title belt, which was draped over the back of a chair, and left the room, locking the door. . .

. . .UNTIL ROLF BLINDSIDED HIM WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER TO THE FACE!!!!

“BAH GAWD!!!” Early screamed. “D-Ed’s Son of a Shepherd just laid out the South Park Extremist!!!”

Rolf then pulled Kenny’s prone body up and clocked him in the face with the Clothesline From The Old Country!!!! Rolf turned behind him and waved for someone off-screen.

“COME ON!!!” Rolf screamed as a referee ran towards him! Rolf went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And the Hardcore title is back in the hands of D-Generation Ed!!!” Early said as Rolf looked up at the ceiling saying “THANK YOU!!!”

“Congratulations, Rolf, you are the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion!!!” said the referee, before Rolf picked up the Hardcore title belt from the floor.

“Kenny!” Kyle said off-screen. “What’s the holdup?” 

Before the referee could raise his hand in victory, Rolf sprinted down the hallway at breakneck speed, right before Kyle and Stan made their way to their locker room, gasping upon seeing Kenny’s bloody and prone body laying on the floor!

“Oh my God!” Stan exclaimed. “They killed Kenny!”

“You bastards!” Kyle said. “Dammit! D-Ed jumped us again!”

“Hold on a second, Kyle. It’s either them or Luigi. And since we’ve already sent D-Ed to the hospital, we’re gonna find Luigi and give him a piece of our minds!”

“Wait, dude!” Kyle said in protest. “We can’t attack him now! He’s probably helping his brother prepare for the main event tonight!”

“Damn it! You’re right. . .this will have to wait until tomorrow night. Now come on, dude, we’ve got to get to the car.”

Stan and Kyle walked down the hallway, away from Kenny’s lifeless body.

“Hey Stan, don’t you want to say a few words about Kenny?”

“He’ll be back tomorrow. We’ll tell him then.” Stan said before the show went back to the arena.

“The South Park Four suspect the wrong man!” Shake said. “I have a feeling this won’t end well.”

“To borrow a few words from you, Shake, you got that right!” Early said. “But I got a feeling that somebody will be joining D-Ed in the hospital after our next match, which takes place inside the demonic, twenty-five foot high structure hanging high above the ring!”

The massive cell stayed hanging above the ring as Plankton stood in the center with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and for the first time. . .it will be contested inside. . .THE CELL. . .OF CHAOS!!!”

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as Tommy Vercetti walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd. 

“Introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is The Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

Tommy walked down to the ring, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp. He looked up at the cell hanging high above the ring with a focused, stoic look on his face.

“Normally, Tommy Vercetti is always excited to come down to the ring for a fight!” Early said. “But tonight, he’s got all his focus and attention on nothing but Garfield and the Cell of Chaos.”

Tommy slid into the ring under the ropes and raised both fists in the air toward the fans, saluting them.

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “He’s so ready for this match, that he didn’t even ride a car down to the ring! Tommy wants nothing more than to take Garfield down a peg right here tonight.”

"Bad Man" by Jim Johnston played as Garfield stomped down the ramp, focusing only on the ring as the crowd booed him.

“And his opponent. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!!!”

“But that’s a tall order, Shake!” Early said. “Garfield has come close to going on a murderous rampage since losing the XCW World Heavyweight Championship last month. And with Jon Arbuckle planning this match and writing it in stone while he was interim commissioner, Garfield will look to unleash all his pent-up anger on the Harwood Butcher!”

Garfield stepped over all three ropes and glared around the arena with a look of anger.

“And he’s got him dead to rights inside this demonic structure!” Shake said. “Garfield’s thrown people through walls, off stages, choked the life out of his opponents, hell, he even Chokeslammed a man through the mat! Inside the Cell of Chaos, who knows what kind of destruction we’ll see from Garfield???”

Tommy and Garfield stood at opposite corners of the ring, staring each other down until the Cell lowered. . .encasing them both inside the ring!!!

“But let’s not forget, Tommy Vercetti is also a proven Hardcore master! He’s put his opponents through tables, beat them senseless with brass knuckles, and knocked them out with almost every weapon imaginable!” Early said. 

“Tommy is just as dangerous as Garfield, and knowing his background, he’ll look to use every inch of these six tons of steel to his advantage---BUT HERE WE GO!!!” Shake said as the bell rang, upon which, Tommy charged toward Garfield and took him down to one knee with a chop block! Tommy then ran against the ropes behind Garfield, and on the bounceback, took Garfield down with another chop block!

“The Harwood Butcher looking to take down the monster Garfield quickly in this hellacious contest!” Early said, as Tommy slid out of the ring and looked under the apron for a weapon, while Garfield pulled himself together in the ring. Tommy slid back into the ring only to be met by a huge right hand from Garfield that knocked him down onto the mat!

“. . .aaaand reality sets in.” Shake said, as Garfield pulled Tommy up to his feet, only to grab him by the shirt and throw him like a bag of wet cement across the ring in front of a corner! Tommy pulled himself up, selling his lower back in pain until Garfield charged toward him and landed a Splash onto Tommy in the corner! Garfield then pressed Tommy’s head against the top turnbuckle, choking him!!! Tommy gasped and wheezed for air until Garfield finally let him go. . .and slapped him with a massive chop to the chest!!! Tommy clenched his abdomen in pain as he crumbled down to the mat!

“Good grief!” Early cried. “We’re less than five minutes into this match, and Tommy’s already beaten halfway to hell!”

“Just imagine what’s gonna happen when the Cell comes into play!” Shake added as Tommy crawled toward the steel chair in front of him. Tommy grabbed onto the chair as Garfield fisted his shirt! Garfield pulled Tommy up, only to be met with a chair shot to the abdomen from the Harwood Butcher! Garfield let go of Tommy, who landed on his feet and hit the monster in the ribs with another chair shot!!! Garfield clenched his ribs from the pain until Tommy raised the chair high above his head, and whacked Garfield in the back with the chair! Tommy continued to wail onto Garfield’s back with the chair until it was bent in half!!!

“Tommy now doing what he did to Garfield last week on Massacre, and right now, we are seeing the mental monster inside the Harwood Butcher come out!” Early said, as Tommy threw the now-bent-in-half steel chair down to the mat and went for the cover! 1. . .Garfield powered out, sending Tommy flying toward the ropes on the left side of the ring! Garfield stood up, selling his back as he lumbered toward Tommy, grabbing a fistful of his shirt to lift him up! Garfield then Irish whip Tommy hard toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, Tommy leapt up toward Garfield for a Lou Thesz Press. . .but the monster caught him in mid-air! Garfield then slammed the Harwood Butcher down to the mat with a thunderous belly-to-belly side slam before going for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Garfield…pulled Tommy’s shoulders up?

“Oh no. . .” Shake said, worried.

“Oh no is right, Shake! We know what happens when Garfield does that, and it’s never good!” Early assured, as Garfield pulled Tommy up and lifted him high above his shoulders in a military press. . .

. . .THEN THREW TOMMY OUT OF THE RING AND INTO THE STEEL WALL OF THE CELL!!! Tommy landed onto the concrete floor with a sickening thud onto his chest and head! Garfield roared at the crowd, who booed venomously back at him.

“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!” cried Early. “For the first time in this match, the Cell has been used as a weapon, and Tommy was the first to suffer at the hands of it!”

Garfield then climbed over all three ropes and stared down Tommy, who struggled to stand up to his feet. Garfield then leapt off the ropes for a diving double axe handle. . .

. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO NAIL HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH A BARBED-WIRE 2X4!!!!

“BAH GAWD TOMMY JUST NAILED GARFIELD RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH BARBED WIRE!!!” Early screamed. “HE MAY HAVE PUT GARFIELD’S EYES OUT!!”

As Garfield screamed in pain and covered his face, Tommy raised the 2x4 above his head and hit him in the back with it!!! Garfield fell to his knees in pain as Tommy ripped the 2x4 from his back, revealing lacerations!

“He’s a brutal son of a bitch, alright!” Shake said. “That’s the way to be if you want to escape this Satanic structure!”

Garfield slowly pushed himself up to his feet, trying to collect himself against the wall of the cell. He turned around and was immediately met with another shot from the barbed wire 2x4 from Tommy!!! Garfield fell to his knees, covering his face as he screamed in agony! Tommy raised the 2x4 behind his head like a baseball bat, and whacked the monster in the face with it, snapping the 2x4 in half, and knocking Garfield down to the floor! Garfield roared in pain as the blood trickled down his face!

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Garfield this vulnerable before, Shake!” Early said.

“Neither have I, Early!” agreed Shake. “Tommy’s really giving him a beating!”

Tommy pulled Garfield up to his knees and drug him toward the ring apron. Tommy then pulled Garfield’s legs up and slid him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Garfield powered out, sending Tommy flying over the second rope, and back down to the concrete floor below!!! Tommy clenched his side in pain as Garfield slowly pushed himself up to a standing position, wiping the blood from his face as it continued to pour down. Garfield then climbed over all three ropes and stepped down to the floor, looming over Tommy. Garfield then grabbed the Harwood Butcher by the shirt and lifted him off his feet, then threw him back-first into the cell wall before crushing him with a pumphandle slam onto the floor!!! Garfield then lifted Tommy by his arm, then Irish whipped him into the steel steps, with Tommy colliding into them with a sickening thud!!!

Garfield then picked up the barbed wire end of the broken 2x4 and stomped toward Tommy! Garfield then threw Tommy face-first into the cage wall. Grasping onto the cage, Tommy caught his breath before turning around. . .

. . .AND GETTING A FACEFUL OF BARBED WIRE!!! Tommy fell to the ground back-first as he covered his face! Tommy pulled his hand back to see blood!!!

“BAH GAWD!!!” Early cried. “NOW THE HARWOOD BUTCHER CAN SEE HIS OWN BLOOD!”

“And when he’s busted open, the chaotic side of him is unleashed, if it isn’t already!” Shake said, as Tommy charged toward Garfield, taking him down with a low tackle at his legs. Tommy then lifted Garfield’s leg off the ground and slammed it down with a knee smash!!! Tommy then stepped toward the steel steps and picked them up before dragging them toward Garfield’s legs! Tommy then lifted Garfield’s right leg again. . .AND SLAMMED IT ONTO THE STEEL STEPS!!! Garfield clenched his knee in agonizing pain! Tommy then stomped over to the bottom set of steel steps, grabbed and drug them toward Garfield. . .and laid his right knee across them!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Early yelled. “TOMMY’S GONNA CRUSH GARFIELD’S KNEE! THIS COULD END THE MONSTER’S CAREER!”

“It may do that, Early, but it’s great strategy on the part of Tommy!” Shake said, as Tommy grabbed the smaller set of stairs, raised them high above his head, and thrusting them down. . .

. . .ONLY FOR GARFIELD TO ROLL OVER, sliding his leg off the steps just before Tommy could nail Garfield’s knee! Garfield slowly pushed himself up to his knees while Tommy threw the small set of stairs down to the floor. Tommy ran toward the monster, going for another chop block, only for Garfield to spin around and grab the Harwood Butcher by the throat!!! Garfield then threw Tommy back-first against the cell wall next to him, with Tommy landing chest first on the steel steps! Tommy sold his ribs in pain as Garfield lifted him up by the shirt and rammed his face right into the cell wall!! With a slight limp, Garfield then grabbed Tommy by the hair and walked around the ringside floor, dragging Tommy’s face against the cell wall!!!

“DEAR LORD!! The monster Garfield is back up, and now he’s potentially scarring the Harwood Butcher!” Early said, as Garfield made it back to his starting point, and threw Tommy face first into the cell wall in front of him, crumbling to the ground upon impact! Garfield then stood onto Tommy’s torso, with Tommy screaming and wheezing in pain! Garfield stepped off of Tommy’s chest and lifted him off the ground, then launched him toward the other side of the cell! Tommy landed hard on his ass with a sickening thud, screaming in pain upon impact! 

“OOOH!!! He may have broken his tailbone!” Shake said. “Hell, looking at Tommy right now, I don’t even know how he’s still standing!”

“He may not be standing for long, Shake!” Early said upon seeing Garfield size up Tommy, who sold his lower back as he struggled to stand up to his feet! Garfield charged toward him. . .

. . .AND TACKLED TOMMY THROUGH THE CELL DOOR, ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR NEXT TO THE BARRICADE!!!

“BAH GAWD!!!” Early screamed unintelligibly. “BAH GAWD!!! THE MONSTER AND THE HARWOOD BUTCHER HAVE TAKEN THEIR FIGHT TO THE OUTSIDE!!! TOMMY MAY BE BROKEN SMACK DAB IN HALF!!!”

Garfield and Tommy laid on top of the destroyed cell door in a crumbled heap as the crowd shouted “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”

“HE’S BLEEDING EVERYWHERE, HE’S LIMPING, AND HE’S BEEN DRIVEN THROUGH THE CELL. . .HOW MUCH MORE PUNISHMENT WILL TOMMY TAKE???” wondered Shake, as Garfield pulled Tommy up by the hair and knocked him back with a right hand! Tommy stumbled around the ringside floor until Garfield grabbed him by the left arm. . .only for Tommy to nail him in the face with a right hand. . .COVERED IN BRASS KNUCKLES!!!

“And The Harwood Butcher now is somehow back into this hellacious match with the element of surprise! And that element of surprise being his set of brass knuckles!” Early said, as Tommy hit Garfield right between the eyes with the brass knuckled right hand again, knocking the monster back a bit. Tommy then hit Garfield in the chest with right hand after right hand until Garfield had to recollect himself by the barricade. Tommy ran toward him for a brass knuckles shot to the side. . .only for Garfield to come back with a Big Boot!!! Catching his breath, Garfield then loomed over his adversary, spitting out blood before lifting Tommy off the ground!

“Garfield may be bleeding from his face and inside his body, and just as beaten as the Harwood Butcher, but with a desperation move, may have given himself some breathing room!” Early said, as Garfield sat Tommy on his shoulders and slammed him to the floor with a Samoan Drop!!! Garfield then grabbed the Harwood Butcher by the throat, pulled him off the floor and chucked him like a baseball against the barricade closest to the announcer’s table!! Tommy sold his neck and back as he struggled to pull himself up with the barricade. Garfield charged toward Tommy again. . .

. . .AND SENT HIM FLYING OVER THE BARRICADE AND INTO THE CROWD WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!! Garfield roared at the audience in front of him, who insulted and yelled obscenities back at him. Garfield then lumbered over to the announcer’s table and roared at Plankton, who ran off the chair he was sitting on. Garfield then picked up the chair. . .unaware that Tommy was standing up in the crowd behind him! Garfield stood up as Tommy climbed onto the barricade and LEAPT OFF---

\--ONLY FOR GARFIELD TO DROP THE CHAIR AND CATCH HIM IN MID-AIR!!! Garfield then took Tommy down with a fall-away slam, Tommy hitting the cell with his back, and landing face-first onto the floor!!! Tommy rolled onto his back, wincing in pain from the impact!

“The look on Tommy’s face tells the story!” Early exclaimed as Garfield slowly rolled onto his knees, gasping for breath. “All the damage these two have done to each other is taking its toll, but this match can only be won in the ring!”

“And right now, these two look to beat each other senseless all over ringside!” Shake said, as Garfield picked up a steel chair. Tommy pulled himself up with the cage wall behind him, while Garfield raised the steel chair high above his head, swung for Tommy’s head. . .

. . .but Tommy ducked and spun out of the way!!! Tommy then looked up at the cell. . .

. . .AND STARTED CLIMBING UP THE CELL WALL!!! 

The crowd erupted into cheers as Tommy climbed up the wall as fast as he could!!!

“Waaait a MINUTE!!!” Shake exclaimed as Tommy made it halfway up the cell wall as Garfield looked up at him, snarling in anger!

“OH MY GOD!!! TOMMY’S TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM GARFIELD, BUT IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE!!!” Early cried, as Garfield grabbed onto the cell wall with a massive hand, and CLIMBED UP AFTER TOMMY!!!

“THAT’S A TWENTY-FIVE FOOT HIGH CLIMB, BUT IT’S ALSO A TWENTY-FIVE FOOT LONG FALL!” yelled Early as Garfield pulled himself up with each step up! With a few more steps up, Tommy’s arm touched the ceiling of the cell!!! Tommy pushed himself up to the ceiling. . .

. . .ONLY FOR GARFIELD TO GRAB ONTO HIS FOOT!!! Tommy tried to pull himself up anyway but to no avail!!!

“Tommy is so close to sanctuary. . .but there’s a massive roadblock in his way!!!” Early cried, as Garfield GRABBED ONTO TOMMY’S OTHER FOOT!!!!

“Garfield’s not just a roadblock, he’s a ten-car pileup on the interstate!!!” Shake exclaimed as Garfield continued to pull on Tommy’s legs!!! Tommy held onto the ceiling of the cell for dear life. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

“EARLY, LOOK OUT!!!”

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT GARFIELD PULLED HIM OFF THE CELL, SENDING HIM TO CRASH THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE!!!!! 

“BAH GAAWWWD!!! BAH GAWWWD!!!!” Early screamed while Tommy laid motionless in the remains of the destroyed announcer’s table!!! The crowd screamed “HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!!” and “X-C-DUB!! X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!” at deafening levels!!!

“TOMMY VERCETTI JUST FELL 25 FEET RIGHT THROUGH OUR TABLE!!!!” Early exclaimed! “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!”

“YOU DIDN’T EXPECT THIS WITH GARFIELD IN THE MATCH????” asked Shake, as Garfield looked down at Tommy Vercetti with a stoic stare!

“YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!!!! THE HARWOOD BUTCHER HAS BEEN PLANTED BY GARFIELD FROM THE TOP OF THE CELL!!!!”

Plankton ran away from the ringside area and up the ramp as Tommy remained laid out in the remains of the table.

“And Tommy Vercetti has not moved a muscle since taking the fall!” Early said while doctors and EMTs run down the ramp with a stretcher. “And here come the EMTs right now!”

The EMTs and doctors reached the table and knelt down to check on Tommy while Garfield still stood on the ceiling of the cell, roaring at the crowd!!!

“Garfield’s rubbing his actions into this crowd right now, but I think all everyone is concerned about is the condition of Tommy Vercetti.” Shake said.

“You’re absolutely right, Shake.” Early said, as the crowd fell silent, and the EMTs lifted Tommy onto the stretcher. “All we can do now is hope and pray that Tommy Vercetti will pull through.”

“You’ve got to wonder, though. . .we all know Garfield is a physical behemoth. But he’s up there now roaring at the crowd, showing no remorse. What’s going through that monster’s mind, if it’s not sympathy?”

“I have no idea, Shake. . .”

The crowd cheered as the EMTs and doctors pushed the stretcher around the ringside area, reaching the foot of the ramp. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .WHILE GARFIELD CLIMBED DOWN THE CELL WALL!!!!

“. . .but WHAT IS GARFIELD DOING NOW???” asked Early, as Garfield reached the ringside floor AND STOMPED TOWARD THE STRETCHER!!!

“I have no idea, but from the look on his face, he looks like he hasn’t destroyed enough yet!” Shake predicted as Garfield grabbed an EMT by the shirt and knocked him down with an uppercut!!!

“Oh my God, this is uncalled for! This isn’t a fight anymore! Garfield is destroying everything in his path!!!” called Early as Garfield tipped over the stretcher, letting Tommy’s body fall to the ramp!! The remaining doctor and EMTs tried to push Garfield away from Tommy, only to be knocked down with vicious right hands to the head! Garfield then grabbed the last EMT by the throat. . .

. . .AND CHOKESLAMMED HIM THROUGH THE STRETCHER!!! 

“This EMT was trying to help Tommy. . .but he gets a Chokeslam for his trouble!!!” Early said as Garfield turned his attention to Tommy’s body on the floor. Garfield loomed over Tommy. . .AND GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT, AND DRAGGING HIM TOWARD THE CELL!!!

“NO!!! NO!!! BAH GAWD NO!!! TOMMY’S OUT OF IT!! TOMMY IS DOWN AND OUT! HIS CAREER MAY BE THROUGH. . .BUT GARFIELD ISN’T THROUGH WITH HIM JUST YET!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!!” Early cried as Garfield climbed up the cell wall with his right hand while grasping Tommy’s neck with the other!!!

“THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SICK!!” Shake said. “Garfield’s not looking to end Tommy’s career. . .he’s looking to end his life!”

“And Jon Arbuckle has to be laughing his ass off right now, Shake! He made this match completely out of spite for the Harwood Butcher! And to see his housepet turned death machine kill another man in this satanic structure has to be more than satisfying!”

Garfield pulled Tommy’s body onto the cell ceiling before following him onto the top!!! The crowd erupted into thunderous boos as Garfield grasped onto Tommy’s neck, and stared him down maliciously while lifting him off the ground. . .

. . .raising him high above his head. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL TOMMY ELBOWED GARFIELD IN THE FACE, FORCING HIM TO LET GO!!!

“WHAT???” Shake screamed! 

“HOW???” Early yelled. “HOW IN THE HELL IS TOMMY ALIVE?? HOW IS HE STANDING???? HOW IS THE HARWOOD BUTCHER STILL IN THIS MATCH???? GARFIELD CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!!”

“HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S SEEN A GHOST!!!” Shake exclaimed as Garfield looked at Tommy with wide eyes, and mouth agape!!! Tommy charged toward the monster with his brass knuckled right hand. . .

. . .AND CLOCKED GARFIELD IN THE FACE WITH IT!!! Garfield stumbled back in a daze until Tommy charged toward him and landed a punch combination with the brass-knuckled fist. . .THAT SENT GARFIELD REELING ON THE EDGE OF THE CELL!!!

“And now Garfield’s reeling! Garfield’s about to feel Tommy’s pain!!!” Early said, until Tommy kicked Garfield in the chest and took him down with a double arm DDT!!! Tommy and Garfield were down on the top of the cell, with the crowd chanting “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!” and “THIS IS AWESOME!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!”

“These fans are on their feet here at the O-Town Yards!!! Who’s gonna win this match???” wondered Early as Tommy and Garfield were slow to rise to a standing position. 

“A better question is, who’s gonna be the first to fall???” asked Shake, as Tommy and Garfield reached their feet. Tommy went for a clothesline, but Garfield evaded it to face Tommy’s back. Garfield then latched onto Tommy’s sides, lifted him up. . .and while walking toward the center of the ceiling, took him down with an Atomic Drop!!! Continuing to walk, Garfield lifted Tommy up. . .

. . .and took him down with ANOTHER Atomic Drop! Garfield raised Tommy up high for one final Atomic Drop. . .

. . .but Tommy flipped out of it, landing on his feet behind Garfield! Garfield slowly turned around, only for Tommy to lift him up with all his might. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A STANDING SPINEBUSTER THAT BROKE THE CEILING OF THE CELL!!!

TOMMY AND GARFIELD FELL THROUGH THE HOLE IN THE CEILING, BOTH OF THEM CRASHING HARD ONTO THE MAT!!!!

“GOOD GOD! GOOD F*CKING GOD!!!!” Early said. “SOMEBODY STOP THIS MATCH!!!”

“THEY’RE DEAD!!! THEY’VE GOTTA BE DEAD!!!” Shake exclaimed, as Tommy and Garfield laid down and out inside the ring!!!! Meanwhile, the crowd screamed “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” at deafening levels!!

“THIS MATCH HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!” Early yelled. “THESE TWO MEN NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION!!!”

“Stop the match? Are you kidding me, Early?” asked Shake, flabbergasted. “Listen to this crowd! They’re loving it!”

“GARFIELD IS DOWN!!! THE HARWOOD BUTCHER IS DOWN!!! WHO’S GONNA WIN BETWEEN THESE TWO BARBARIANS?????” shouted Early, as Tommy crawled toward Garfield, draping his arm over the monster’s body for a cover!!! The referee made the count 1. . .

. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .2.99 GARFIELD KICKED OUT!!!! Tommy rolled off Garfield, completely exasperated!!!

“THE MONSTER GARFIELD IS BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG THROUGH HIS HEAD AND BACK, HE’S ALMOST HAD HIS EYES PUT OUT, HE’S SURVIVED A TWENTY-FIVE FOOT FALL, AND HE’S STILL ALIVE IN THIS MATCH!!!” Early yelled unintelligibly!

“We’ve seen chairs, barbed wire 2x4s, steel steps, two men bleed all over the mat, and survive a 25-foot fall through the roof of this cage! And one man fell TWICE!!! What else does this cell have to offer us???” Shake asked as Tommy struggled to pull himself up with the ropes, while Garfield pushed himself up with his arms. Garfield and Tommy stumbled toward each other, each of them trading vicious right hands, with the crowd booing in unison with Garfield’s right hands, and cheering in unison with Tommy’s punches! They continued to exchange punches until Garfield hit Tommy in the chest with a throat thrust!!! Garfield then grabbed onto Tommy’s sides, lifted him off his feet. . .and took him down with a Jackknife Powerbomb!!! Garfield went for the cover 1. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .2.99 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! Garfield couldn’t believe it!! 

“TOMMY’S BEEN CHOKED, HE’S BEEN BUSTED OPEN, HIS BRAINS HAVE BEEN SCRAMBLED, HE SURVIVED TWO 25 FOOT FALLS, AND HE’S BEEN POWERBOMBED, AND SOMEHOW HE’S STILL FIGHTING!!! HOW, I ASK YOU? HOW????” Early screamed somehow intelligibly as Garfield pulled Tommy up by the hair and grabbed him by the throat. . .

. . .but Tommy surprised Garfield with a left hand to the ribs!!! Tommy nailed a punch combination that backed the monster up against the ropes. Tommy then Irish whipped Garfield toward the other side of the ring. . .only for Garfield to counter it with an Irish whip of his own!!! On the bounceback, Tommy ran toward a limping Garfield and took him down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away at his face with thunderous right and left hands!!!

“The head of Garfield has to be throbbing like no other right now!” Shake declared as Tommy stood up, raising his right fist up in the air, showing the bloody brass knuckles to the crowd! “But Tommy’s got him right where he wants him! Go for the cover!”

Tommy lowered his fist, and looked around at the crowd deep in thought.

“What. . .what’s Tommy thinking about right now??” Shake wondered, as Tommy taunted for Garfield to stand up!

“I think he’s looking to end it!” Early answered! “And what better way to end this battle of barbarians than with---“

“NO! He can’t do that! Garfield’s too huge! His weight will crush him!”

Garfield rolled toward the ropes and staggered up to a standing position as he pulled himself up with them. Tommy then tied up Garfield’s arms. . .

“No!” Shake exclaimed, as Tommy lifted up Garfield with all his might. . .

“NO WAY!!!”

. . .BUT TOMMY’S BACK GAVE OUT, FORCING HIM TO LET GO OF GARFIELD!!! Tommy stumbled toward the ropes, trying to catch his breath and regain his composure. Tommy then turned back around. . .AND GARFIELD GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT!!!

“And that one attempted feat of strength may have cost the Harwood Butcher!” Early said, as Garfield stared Tommy down maliciously before bringing Tommy right in front of the bent steel chair from earlier!!!

“If his back gave out from lifting Garfield, it’s gonna be broken once he feels THIS!!” Shake exclaimed, as Garfield raised Tommy high above his head. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED HIM ONTO THE CHAIR WITH A THUNDEROUS CHOKESLAM!!! Tommy laid motionless on the mat as Garfield fell onto Tommy for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .3!!!!

“AND MERCILESSLY, THIS MATCH IS FINALLY OVER!!!” Early exclaimed after the bell rang!!!

“The winner of this match. . .GARFIELD!!!”

The referee raised Garfield’s arm in victory and rolled him off Tommy as the crowd erupted into a standing ovation!

“These fans may hate Garfield, and the fact that he won, but ladies and gentlemen, these fans here in O-Town are showing great respect for these two warriors right now!” Early said, as doctors and EMTs made their way down the ramp with stretchers.

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “These two put their bodies on the line to settle the score between them for our amusement, and my God, they gave us a fight we’ll remember for years to come!”

The referee and some EMTs drug Garfield by the arms under the bottom rope and onto the stretcher, strapping him in before wheeling him up the ramp.

“The monster Garfield went to incredible lengths to end Tommy’s career AND his life, first by throwing him from the top of the cell and through our announce table, then attacking the EMTs and doctors trying to help Tommy to the back! He then drug Tommy back up to the cell with him intending to chokeslam him off the cage, and onto the concrete floor below!” Early recapped. “But Tommy somehow, in some way prevailed, and brought the match back to the ring, but in a dangerous way!”

“But despite his efforts and strength, Tommy still couldn’t put the big man away, and after failing the Vercetti Driver, Garfield took advantage, and after a Chokeslam, collapsed onto him from exhaustion! Now I only have one question, Early: where will these two go from here?” Shake wondered.

“That’s a very good question, Shake, and I don’t have an answer for you.” responded Early as the referee drug Tommy toward the ropes. . .

. . .but Tommy stirred, shaking his arm out of the referee’s grasp! He then grabbed onto the rope with his right arm, and struggled to pull himself up with the ropes, to applause from the crowd!

“But what I do know is that Tommy Vercetti put his body and soul on the line like no other in this match!” 

Tommy made it to his feet, and wiped the blood from his face as he limped to the center of the ring as the crowd cheered “YOU’RE HARDCORE!! YOU’RE HARDCORE!!! YOU’RE HARDCORE!!!”

“And even though he lost, you’ve got to give the utmost respect for his efforts!”

Tommy raised his brass-knuckled fist up in the air toward the crowd, until---

\---all the lights went off in the arena!!!

“What the???” Shake exclaimed, as the crowd went silent!

“What the hell’s going on here???” Early wondered, as the ring suddenly became engulfed in blue light! Tommy turned toward the ramp, wincing in pain as he fell to the mat on one knee.

“What the hell???” Early said, until a certain piano riff played, followed by. . .

. . .

. . .”Sell Your Soul” by Hollywood Undead!!!!

“NO---“ Shake exclaimed!

“IT—IT CAN’T BE!!!” Early yelled, as a figure stepped onto the stage! The lights went up, revealing the figure to be. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

“SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!” Early yelled, as the crowd erupted into a loud mix of surprised cheers and hateful boos!!!

“WHAT???”

“IT’S SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!”

“OH MY GOD!!!”

Tommy stayed kneeling in the ring, his mouth open agape and eyebrows raised in disbelief as Spongebob stared him down maliciously from the stage!!!

“SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS IS HERE IN XCW!!!”

“WAS HE THE MAN IN THE LIMOUSINE???”

“HE HAS TO BE, SHAKE!!! THERE’S NO OTHER SUPERSTAR IN THIS BUSINESS THAT’S BIGGER THAN SPONGEBOB!!!”

Spongebob strode down the ramp, scanning the crowd, seeing signs such as “RIP WWT”, “WWT FOREVER”, and “XCW > WWT.” He scowled at the fans as he reached the foot of the ramp!

“Spongebob was the 2011 Superstar of the Year, he’s held multiple Tag Team Championships and World Championships in CWF, WWT, and WWE’s animated division!” Shake informed. “And now he’s here in XCW, looking to do the same thing---“

Spongebob quickly slid in the ring and ran toward Tommy, taking him down with a knee to the face!!! 

“WHAT THE HELL???” Shake exclaimed, as the crowd erupted into thunderous boos! Ignoring them, Spongebob pulled Tommy up by the hair. . .

. . .kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND BROUGHT HIM DOWN WITH THE SPONGY EDGE ONTO THE BENT CHAIR, THE BACK OF HIS HEAD HITTING THE STEEL!!!!

“BAH GAWD!!! TOMMY JUST WENT THROUGH HELL AND BACK, AND NOW THE FORMER SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR MAKES HIS XCW DEBUT BY KNOCKING HIM OUT COLD!!!”

Spongebob stared down Tommy with a malicious glare as the crowd continued to boo him. Spongebob then left the ring above the second rope, leaving the referee and EMTs to slide into the ring and check on Tommy.

Still staring down Tommy, Spongebob walked up the ramp as the referees slid Tommy onto a stretcher and up the ramp.

“After all the pain and suffering Tommy went through with Garfield inside the Cell of Chaos, why did Spongebob not only make his XCW arrival now, but also target Tommy?”

“I—your guess is as good as mine, Shake! I don’t know what Spongebob would have against him!” Early answered, as the referees and EMTs pushed Tommy and the stretcher up the ramp and onto the entranceway. Spongebob stood in the stretcher’s way, forcing the referees and EMTs to stop in their tracks.

“Now what?” Early said, as Spongebob looked down at an unconscious Tommy face-to-face, and said. . .

“Thanks to you, Tommy. . .I’M HERE.”

Spongebob walked to the backstage area, leaving everyone in the arena, including the fans, completely dumbfounded. 

Meanwhile, Space Ghost was in his office watching the events in the ring unfold on a flat-screen television. He sat at his desk with his mouth agape and eyes wide in disbelief as Haruko Haruhara charged into the room with a microphone in hand.

“Commissioner Space Ghost, I’m interviewer-in-training Haruko Haruhara! If I may ask, is Spongebob Squarepants a new member of the XCW roster?” Haruko asked, as Space Ghost quickly shook his head back to reality.

“Wha—what? I’m sorry, Haruko, but I still can’t believe what I just saw out there!” answered the Commissioner.

“Do you have any idea why Spongebob would target Tommy Vercetti upon being signed to XCW?” asked Haruko.

“What? I’m not talking about Spongebob’s arrival!” Space Ghost answered. “I’m talking about what just happened inside the Cell of Chaos! That match was nothing short of extraordinary! And it’s inspired me to make even more plans not only for our next pay-per-view, Heatwave, but for the entire month of June!”

“What do you have planned?” wondered Haruko.

“All of my plans will be announced tomorrow, Ms. Haruhara!” assured Space Ghost. “But the main event is up next! And considering how unpredictable the night has been, I wouldn’t miss it!”

Space Ghost looked back at the television as Haruko left the room.

“More plans for not only Heatwave, but for the next month of XCW programming?” Early said, intrigued.

“I can only imagine what our Commissioner has up his sleeve, especially after the events of tonight!” Shake said excitedly as the show went back to the arena, where. . .

“Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro exploding in unison to the first notes of the song! Mario then walked onto the stage and posed to a mixed reaction.

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve gone from old school versus new school, to the Cell of Chaos, and now we close the night with our main event, pitting Star versus Star!” Early said as Mario ran down the ramp.

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “Ever since Mario’s return to XCW, he’s wanted nothing more than to regain the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, and reassure his status as the Star of this company! Mario looks to do just that right here, right now, but his opponent has the argument to make the same claims as well!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage plays as Tai runs down the stage to cheers from the crowd, focusing only on the ring.

“Tai has a lot to be happy about right now, Shake! Earlier tonight, his wife, Sora Takenouchi, regained the Women’s Championship from Mario’s wife, Peach, in a triple threat match! And you have to wonder with a win here tonight, will Tai Kamiya not only establish himself as the Star of this company, but also establish him and Sora as the power couple of fiction wrestling?”

The crowd cheered as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles, raising the World Heavyweight title belt toward the fans.

“That could very well be the case, Early!” Shake answered. “Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi have made the most of their time in XCW since its inception! But the tensions between Mario and Tai and Sora and Peach have exploded in recent weeks, and neither of them want to back down from their spots as the top man and woman of this company! But our main event tonight will give us a clear idea of where XCW is headed, and who will represent us as our Star for the foreseeable future!”

Tai then stood in the corner opposite Mario, as Plankton came to stand in the center of the now-bloodstained ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event for the evening. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

The crowd cheered as Mario stared down Tai with a focused look on his face.

"Introducing first. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .MARIO!"

Mario raised a peace sign high above his head as the crowd gave him a mixed reaction.

“And his opponent. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Tai continued to stare down Mario until the referee raised the World title belt above his head.

The bell rang and the match began with Tai and Mario pacing around the ring, engaged in a staredown. They met in the center of the ring and got into a tie-up, with Tai putting Mario into a waist-lock, only for Mario to counter out of it with a wrist-lock! Mario then moved behind Tai and lifted him up for a back suplex, only for Tai to drop out of it and dropkick Mario in the back! Mario bounced off the ropes, and on the bounceback, took Tai down with a Clothesline! Mario then taunted for Tai to get up and ran toward him for another Clothesline, only for Tai to catch it in time and put Mario in a wrist-lock, then take him down with an arm drag! Tai then went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out! Tai then pulled Mario up to his feet, only for Mario to shove him toward the ropes behind him. As Tai bounced back, Mario caught Tai and took him down with a side headlock takedown, then wrenched on his neck before going for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!!

Mario then pulled Tai up by the hair and landed a right hand to his face. Mario then hit Tai with a punch combination before Irish whipping him across the ring. As Tai bounced back, Mario kicked him in the abdomen, then landed a falling elbow to his sternum! Mario went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! Mario then Irish whipped Tai over the ropes, only for Tai to hang on for dear life on the ring apron! Tai pulled himself up to a standing position. . .only for Mario to pull Tai’s head onto the ropes, causing Tai to fall off the apron and face-first onto the ringside floor! Mario then sized Tai up before running to the ropes behind him. Tai pushed himself up to his feet. . .

. . .ONLY TO BE TAKEN DOWN BY A SUICIDE DIVE FROM MARIO!!! Both Mario and Tai were down on the ringside floor as the referee began the ten count!

“These two men may have had long careers, but against each other, they haven’t lost a step!” Early said, as the crowd chanted “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”

“You’re absolutely right, Early!” agreed Shake. “A lot of people think Mario and Tai are too old for this business! I can’t disagree more with that statement!”

Mario and Tai stood up to their feet and traded right hands at the ringside floor until Mario caught one of Tai’s right hands and surprised him with a chop to the chest! Tai winced in pain from the chop until Mario slapped him in the chest with chop after chop, then hit him with a shoulder thrust that sent Tai crashing back-first into the barricade behind him! Mario then went to slam Tai’s face into the edge of the barricade. . .only for Tai to elbow Mario in the chest, then drive him back-first into the ring apron! Mario groaned in pain until Tai slid him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Tai followed behind him and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!!!

Tai pulled Mario up to his feet and hit him in the chest with a ferocious chop of his own! The crowd screamed “WOOOO!” in unison with each chop until Tai drove Mario into a corner. Tai then hit Mario in the chest again with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Mario grabbed him by the sides and threw him into the corner! Mario then whacked the World Champion with chop after chop, then clocked him with a knee to the face that sent Tai to fall into a seated position. Mario then grasped onto the top rope and lifted himself up, then hit Tai with another knee to the face! Mario then pulled Tai to the center of the ring and went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!! 

“So far, the Champion of Life is giving the World Heavyweight Champion solid competition!” Early said. “Who will be the Star of XCW by the end of the night?”

Mario pulled Tai up by the hair only for Tai to tackle Mario and drive him toward the ropes! Mario, however, put Tai in a headlock and took him down with a bulldog on the bounceback! Mario then ran against the ropes behind him and landed a running moonsault onto Tai! Mario went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!! Mario then grabbed onto Tai’s legs and attempted to lock him in the Boston Crab submission hold. . .only for Tai to kick Mario in the face, sending him careening to the other side of the ring! As Mario bounced back, Tai picked Mario up and slammed him down with an Alabama Slam! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!!! Tai pulled Mario up to his feet only for Mario to surprise Tai with a right hand! Mario then Irish whipped Tai into a corner and ran toward him, only for Tai to catch Mario and send him flying with a monkey flip! Tai then went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!!!

Tai ran against the ropes to his left and went for a springboard moonsault. . .only for Mario to roll out of the way! Mario then grabbed onto Tai’s legs and successfully locked him into the Boston Crab!!!

“And now Mario taking advantage of a mistake by the World Heavyweight Champion, and looking to put him away with the Boston Crab!” said Early, as Tai screamed in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked Tai if he wanted to quit. Tai shook his head no emphatically as Mario screamed “TAP!!! TAP!!!!” Tai inched closer to the bottom rope as Mario pressed his knee against Tai’s back, applying more pressure!!! Tai wormed closer to the ropes. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .and successfully grabbed onto the bottom rope, forcing Mario to break the hold!!! Mario then pulled Tai back into the center of the ring and went for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!! Mario couldn’t believe it!!! Mario then turned Tai onto his back, attempting to lock him into the Boston Crab again, but Tai fought out of it, spinning up to his feet, selling his lower back! Tai and Mario then charged toward each other and met in a tie-up. Mario put Tai in a front face lock and went for a neckbreaker, only for Tai to counter it into a Russian Leg Sweep! Tai went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .MARIO KICKED OUT!!! Tai rolled off Mario and pulled himself up with the ropes. Tai waited for Mario to get up before putting him in another tie-up. Tai put Mario into a side headlock until Mario hit Tai in the chest with repeated elbow thrusts, forcing Tai to break the hold! Mario then slapped Tai across the chest with another chop before Irish whipping him across the ring. As Tai bounced back, Mario slugged him in the face with an uppercut, then took him down with a DDT! Mario went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .TAI KICKED OUT!!! Mario rolled off Tai, punching the mat in frustration!!! Mario then pulled Tai back up by the hair and put him in a waist-lock. Mario then lifted Tai for an Atomic Drop, but Tai dropped out of it behind him! Tai then shoved Mario toward the ropes, and leapt over him as he bounced back. Tai then ran toward Mario as he bounced back on the other side and leapt up for a crossbody. . .only for Mario to leap up for a crossbody of his own, causing them both to collide into each other at the same time!!! Both men were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count!!!

“What a battle between two very evenly matched competitors, two of the best wrestlers that XCW has to offer!” Early said, as the ten count reached two!

“You got that right! They’re even in wrestling styles, even in prestige, and equal in their desires to be the XCW World Heavyweight Champion!” Shake assured as Tai pushed himself up to his feet while Mario pulled himself up with the ropes behind him. Mario and Tai met in the center of the ring and traded chops, with the crowd booing in unison to Mario’s chops while cheering in unison with Tai’s! Mario and Tai continue to trade chop after chop, each of them increasing in speed until Tai surprised Mario with a swift kick to the midsection! Tai then leapt up and landed a judo kick to the back of Mario’s head! Tai fell to his knees and went for the pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 MARIO KICKED OUT!!! 

Tai then pulled Mario up to his feet and put Mario in a side headlock before going for a neckbreaker. . .only for Mario to shove Tai off him, toward the ropes! As Tai bounced back, Mario caught him and took him down with a Northern Lights suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TAI KICKED OUT!!! Mario spun up to his feet and drove Tai back-first against the ropes before Irish whipping him across the ring. Before Tai could bounce back, however, he leapt onto the ropes and took Mario down with a springboard hurricanrana!!! With the crowd on their feet, Tai looked up at them and strode toward the corner, climbing onto the top rope!

“And the World Heavyweight Champion is looking to end this match on an emphatic note!” Early said as Tai perched onto the top rope. . .

. . .sized Mario up. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDED THE TAI DIVE!!! 

“And that note being the Tai Dive!!!” Shake exclaimed as Tai went for the cover, hooking the leg!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 MARIO KICKED OUT!!! Tai shot up to his knees off the cover in disbelief!!!

“Tai Kamiya thought he had the Champion of Life put away, but it’s gonna take more than just the Tai Dive!” Early said, as Tai pulled Mario up to his feet and hit him with a trio of chops. Tai then put Mario in a wrist lock and attempted to lock Mario in the Crossface. . .

. . .ONLY FOR MARIO TO COUNTER IT INTO AN IRISH WHIP! Tai ran across the ring, and on the bounce back, was taken down by a Tornado DDT by Mario!!! Mario then sprang to his feet, raising the peace sign high above his head as he strode to the corner turnbuckle!

“And now Mario is in the driver’s seat of this World Heavyweight Championship matchup!!!” called Early. “He’s about to not only regain the World title, but also avenge his wife and brother, who each lost their titles earlier tonight!”

Mario climbed up to the top rope. . .

. . .taunted Tai. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDED THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH!!! Mario crawled in for the cover, selling his ribs from the impact of the splash! The referee made the count 1. . .”GAME!!”

2\. . . “SET!!”

. . .

. . .2.99 TAI KICKED OUT!!! Mario rolled off the cover, catching his breath on the mat in disbelief!!!

“Bah gawd, both of these two men are so evenly matched, they’re giving each other fits!!” commented Early, as Mario pushed himself up to his feet, taunting for Tai to stand up. 

“They’ve kicked out of each other’s aerial assaults, they’re both technically sound. . .quite frankly, I don’t know what else you could ask for out of these two men!” Shake said before Mario caught Tai for a jawbreaker!!! Slow to his feet, Tai sold his jaw in pain as Mario caught the World Champion, and lifted him for a suplex. . .only for Tai to drop out of it behind him and take him down with a German suplex!!! Still grasping onto his waist, Tai pulled the Champion of Life up. . .and took him down with ANOTHER German suplex!!! Tai pulled Mario up by the waist one more time. . .and took him down with a German suplex, this one ending with a pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .”GAME!!!”

2\. . .”SET!!!”

. . .

. . .2.99 MARIO GRABBED ONTO THE BOTTOM ROPE!!! Tai let go of him, his face cringing in disappointment as Mario pulled himself up with the ropes in front of him. Tai then sized Mario up and grabbed his arm. . .

. . .only for Mario to pull Tai back in front of him and take him down with a suplex!!! His grip still on Tai, Mario stood back up and lifted Tai. . .and took him down with ANOTHER suplex!!! Mario kept his hold on Tai one more time. . .lifted him up. . .

. . .ONLY FOR TAI TO DROP OUT OF IT BEHIND HIM AND TAKE HIM DOWN, EFFECTIVELY LOCKING IN THE CROSSFACE!!!

“NO!!! MARIO WENT FOR THE TRIPLE ROLLING SUPLEX, BUT TAI FOUND AN OPENING AND HAS THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN!!!” Early yelled unintelligibly as Mario screamed in agonizing pain!!!

“Tai’s got him right where he wants him!!! Will Mario tap???” Shake asked aloud as the referee knelt down and asked Mario if he wanted to quit. Mario shook his head no as he inched toward the ropes, with Tai only applying more pressure with his arms on the hold!!!

“THE WORLD TITLE, VENGEANCE FOR LUIGI AND PEACH’S LOSSES, AND ICON STATUS IN XCW IS AT STAKE!!” Early exclaimed! “WILL MARIO GIVE IT UP???”

Mario crawled toward the ropes, with Tai only intensifying the hold more and more! Mario extended his hand out. . .

. . .brushed the bottom rope with his fingertips. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .but tapped out!!!

“HE TAPS OUT!!!” yelled Early! “TAI KAMIYA IS STILL THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!”

Tai let go of the submission hold as the bell rang!!!

“The winner of this match. . .AND STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOORLD. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!”

“This sold-out crowd has erupted upon witnessing Tai Kamiya put up a great fight against the Icon Mario!!!” Early said. “And now Tai Kamiya reigns supreme not only as XCW World Heavyweight Champion, but also as the Icon, the Star, the face of this young company!”

The referee raised Tai’s arm in victory as Mario rolled out of the ring, selling his head on the ringside floor.

“You’ve got to give a lot of credit to Mario, though, Early!” Shake commented. “He has changed his ways since his hiatus! Neither Luigi nor Peach interfered, and he didn’t resort to trickery! He gave our World Heavyweight Champion a real challenge, but in the end, the World title belt is still around the waist of Tai Kamiya!”

Tai climbed onto a top rope and raised the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt high above his head toward the fans in celebration!

“Well, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve about seen it all tonight.” Early said. “We’ve seen membership of the Rookie Revolution, as well as the Women’s Championship change hands, we’ve seen chaos surround the Hardcore and Tag Team Championships, and you saw along with us a bloody and brutal affair inside the Cell of Chaos.”

“But at the end of it all, we also saw two great straight-up wrestling matches for the World Television Championship, and the World Heavyweight title, and Early, I couldn’t be prouder to have a World Champion like Tai Kamiya.” Shake said, as Tai moved to another corner, and raised the title belt above his head toward the fans.

“Neither can I, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “But you’ve got to wonder; who will challenge Tai Kamiya next for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship?”

“Rest assured, that and more will be answered on the next episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre!” Early assured. “Thank you all for watching XCW Nightfire! For Master Shake, this is Early Cuyler signing off from O-Town!”

Tai Kamiya continued to raise the World title belt above his head toward the fans on different corner turnbuckles as Nightfire went off the air!

Results

Kenny McCormick defeated Luigi (c) to win the XCW Hardcore Championship  
Rolf defeated Kenny McCormick (c) to win the XCW Hardcore Championship  
Arthur defeated Hotsuma to join the Rookie Revolution (Hotsuma is out)  
Kenny McCormick defeated Rolf (c) to win the XCW Hardcore Championship  
Sora Takenouchi defeated Peach (c) and Nazz to win the XCW Women’s Championship  
Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman (c; The South Park Four) defeated Eddy and Ed (D-Generation Ed) to retain the XCW Tag Team Championships  
Claude Speed (c) defeated Bugs Bunny to retain the XCW World Television Championship  
Rolf defeated Kenny McCormick (c) to win the XCW Hardcore Championship  
Garfield defeated Tommy Vercetti in the Cell of Chaos  
Tai Kamiya (c) defeated Mario to retain the XCW World Heavyweight Championship

Phew, there’s part two! I honestly thought I was losing steam as I went on, especially after the Cell of Chaos match, it took a lot out of me. As always, let me know if any of the characters were out of character, and I’ll fix it. 

And congratulations to toonwriter on winning the prediction contest! You’ll get your prize via PM after I post the first half of the next episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre.

But speaking of Monday Night Massacre, after Nightfire, so many questions needed to be answered. What does Commissioner Space Ghost have planned for Heatwave, and the month of June? Why did XCW’s newest free agent acquisition, Spongebob Squarepants, attack Tommy Vercetti? What condition will Tommy and Garfield be in for tomorrow’s episode of Massacre? How will Claude Speed respond to Arthur’s attack on him and Bugs? And more importantly, who will challenge Tai Kamiya next for the World Heavyweight Championship? All that and more will be answered on the next episode of Monday Night Massacre!

Until then, READ, GRADE AND REVIEW!!!


	29. XCW Massacre: June Week 1 Part 1

Hey fans! Here’s the new chapter of XCW Massacre, where every question will be answered: What is Space Ghost’s major announcement? Why did Spongebob attack Tommy Vercetti? And who will be the next contender for Tai Kamiya’s XCW World Heavyweight Championship? Find out now! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“We are fresh off the heels of Nightfire, where we saw two highly contested title matches, and one of the bloodiest, most brutal matches this business has ever seen!!! But a lot of questions were left unanswered! Will we get our answers tonight as we enter the summer months??? Welcome to Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen! We are live tonight on our new home on TNT, from the city of Townsville! And hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake here at ringside, and tonight, Shake, we’ve got a great slate of matches for the people of Townsville!”

“You got that right!” Shake said in agreement. “And our main event tonight is a dream match come true! Husband and wife, the XCW World Heavyweight Champion and the XCW Women’s Champion, Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi will square off against Mario and Peach!!! Power couples will collide in this ring tonight, and I can’t wait!”

“And also tonight, following the hellacious first-ever match inside the Cell of Chaos, we will hear from Tommy Vercetti live via satellite from the O-Town General Hospital, where Tommy himself will address the fans on his condition!” Early informed, until. . .

. . .”Hit Single” by Sonny Sharrock played, to cheers from the crowd!!!

“But we start off this edition of Monday Night Massacre with an announcement from our Commissioner!!!” Early said, as Space Ghost stepped onto the entranceway and walked down the ramp with a wide, excited smile on his face.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .SPACE GHOST!!!”

“Last night, Space Ghost told our interviewer-in-training Haruko Haruhara that he was so inspired and amazed over the Cell of Chaos match, that he has a few plans for XCW in the coming weeks, leading up to our next pay-per-view!” Early said, as Space Ghost walked up the steel steps and entered the ring above the second rope.

“And I can only imagine what he could want to do, Early!” Shake said. “While the Cell of Chaos match had everyone in O-Town on the edge of their seat, there was also blood everywhere, our table was destroyed, the cell door AND ceiling were busted through, and Tommy Vercetti fell twenty-five feet not once, but TWICE, and will live to tell about it! I shudder to think about what Space Ghost was inspired to do after that barbaric display!”

Space Ghost received a microphone from the timekeeper and stepped into the center of the ring.

“Greetings, XCW fans!” said Space Ghost into the microphone to cheers from the crowd! “I’m Commissioner Space Ghost!!!”

The crowd continued to cheer as Space Ghost looked around with a smile at the fans.

“Thank you all for your applause and support! XCW Nightfire was a huge success last night, both in terms of the number of buys and how well it was received. A lot came out of the events from last night, especially from one event in particular. As you all witnessed last night, two brutal but brave souls clashed in this very ring in the first match inside the Cell of Chaos! Now you all know the outcome of that match, and what transpired after it, and I promise that you will hear from both sides of the attack here tonight!”

“But I digress. So what that match did, besides bring more viewership and income to XCW, is that it. . .inspired me. A multitude of sources have called last night’s Cell of Chaos the best match in XCW’s short history! Well, as we approach the summer season, there will be no signs of slowing down! XCW is going to keep on trucking for the entire month of June, with its own ways of beat the heat! So now allow me to make the first of many announcements, and let you all know that for the month of June, we are emphasizing the ‘X’ in XCW!”

“And how are we gonna do that? Well, as you all know by now, XCW’s next pay-per-view is Heatwave, and it will be taking place in the Liberty Memorial Coliseum. . .ten minutes away from XCW Headquarters, in the city of Liberty City, USA! But Heatwave won’t be just like any other pay-per-view. XCW Heatwave will put the ‘Xtreme’ in ‘Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling’, because every match on the card. . .

. . .WILL HAVE AN EXTREME STIPULATION!!!”

“WHAT???” exclaimed Early as the crowd erupted into cheers while Space Ghost grinned confidently at them.

“Every title will be defended, and every match will be fought under extreme circumstances! Last night, we gave you all a match no one will ever forget, and at Heatwave, we’ll give you a whole NIGHT you’ll never forget! But that’s not the only thing planned for XCW during the month of June, heavens no!“

“On the third week of June, Monday Night Massacre will be in Quahog, Rhode Island! But this will not be an ordinary episode of Massacre, either, you see. . .because XCW will be there, but with many more friends, because in two weeks, XCW Monday Night Massacre will be host to. . .the XCW SUMMER SUPERSHOW!!!”

The crowd erupted into more thunderous cheers as Space Ghost looked around the arena at all the excited fans!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Shake exclaimed, before Space Ghost spoke into the microphone again.

“That’s right, all of your favorite wrestlers from not only XCW, but also WWE’s animated division, UWE, AWF, and all over the fiction wrestling business will be here in one arena two weeks from now! I will announce matches that will be on the Supershow card next week, but I am also currently in negotiations with General Managers from the other companies, and am having a tough time putting talent on the card without leaving others off. So from there, I have decided to make the XCW Summer Supershow. . .THREE HOURS LONG!!!”

The crowd continued to cheer.

“Eight matches in one three hour Supershow will feature all your favorite superstars this industry has to offer, and along with the all-extreme XCW Heatwave, I guarantee you, will turn June into your favorite month of the year! Thank you very much!”

As Space Ghost’s music began again, he left the ring above the second rope, with the arena buzzing in excitement, and Early and Shake at the announcer’s table completely flabbergasted!

“What a way to kick off the month of June, and this edition of Monday Night Massacre!” Early exclaimed. “XCW Heatwave will be an extreme-themed pay-per-view, with every match having a stipulation! But Shake, two weeks from now, there will be a three hour Supershow, featuring the best wrestlers this business has to offer, from XCW all the way to UCA!”

“And UWE, and WWE’s animated division, and CCW. . .by God, the possibilities are endless for the XCW Summer Supershow! I can’t wait!” Shake said excitedly.

“The possibilities are endless for Heatwave, too, Shake! And when we come back from commercial break, we’re going to see two men compete to be on the card for Heatwave in a number one contender’s match!” Early said before the show went to a commercial break.

As the show returned from break, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is a number one contender’s match. . .for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Television Championship!!!”

"What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage.

"Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!"

“Last night, this man and the current World Television Champion fought each other with every trick in the book!” Early said. “But in the end, Claude Speed emerged victorious, and added even more to his ever-growing legend status!”

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

“The match was so competitive and exciting, I would love to see them fight again!” Shake said. “Bugs would like nothing more than one more shot at the World Television Championship! But first, he has to defeat one of the most promising up-and-comers in this industry!”

The 'Dashing Cody Rhodes' theme played, to massive boos from the crowd as Arthur stepped onto the stage, wearing a yellow hooded vest.

“And his opponent. . .representing the Rookie Revolution. . .from Elwood City. . .he is The PBS Kid. . .ARTHUR!!!”

Arthur pushed the hood behind his head, revealing his face to more boos from the crowd, before walking down the ramp.

“Arthur is an up-and-comer, all right, but he’s not winning anybody over with how he competes in the ring, and he didn’t last night, either, when he used the ropes for leverage to become a new member of the Rookie Revolution, and kick Hotsuma out!” Early informed as Arthur entered the ring above the second rope and came to the center of the ring, raising an arm high above his head, showing the still-booing crowd his Rookie Revolution wristband.

“Oh come on, Early! Give him a little credit! He’s fought toe-to-toe with the likes of the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, Solid Snake, and Claude and Bugs at the same time! And now that he’s in the Rookie Revolution, he’s looking to make a splash in the newly-formed stable by contending for the World TV title!”

The bell rang and the match began with Bugs and Arthur pacing around the ring, engaged in a staredown until they met in the center for a tie-up. Arthur put Bugs in a waist lock and nailed him in the back with a right hand before turning Bugs around and landing a punch combination to his face that knocked him back first toward the ropes. Arthur then Irish whipped Bugs. . .only for Bugs to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! After Arthur bounced back, Bugs kneed Arthur in the gut then took him down with a neckbreaker! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out!!

Bugs pulled Arthur up to his feet, only for Arthur to surprise him with a thumb to the eye! Arthur then slugged Bugs in the face with a right hand, then a punch combination that sent Bugs flying over the ropes, but Bugs caught the top rope and pulled himself up. . .only for Arthur to hit him with an elbow smash to the face that sent Bugs falling down to the ringside floor! Arthur then stepped onto the ring apron over the ropes. . .and waited for Bugs to stand up before leaping off the ring apron. . .

. . .and took him down with a Diving Leg Drop! Both men were down on the ringside floor as the referee began the ten count! Arthur pulled Bugs up by the ears and Irish whipped him into the steel steps, with Bugs crashing into them with a sickening thud! Arthur then pulled Bugs up and slid him back into the ring, with his head sticking out on the ring apron. . .until Arthur slammed an elbow onto his face!!! Bugs clenched his face in pain while Arthur slid into the ring and went for the cover!

“The PBS Kid Arthur is giving Bugs a beating!” Shake said. “And now he’s close to picking up a huge victory!”

The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!!! Arthur couldn’t believe it! As Bugs turned around to push himself up to his feet, Arthur stood in front of him and slapped him across the face repeatedly, to massive boos from the crowd!

“My God, now he’s embarrassing the Animation Icon! Shake, how can you adore someone who’s disrespectful to the legends of this business like the PBS Kid, Arthur?” Early asked before Arthur picked Bugs up and took him down with a snapmare, then locked him in a chin lock! Bugs squirmed and fought his way toward the ropes but to no avail. The referee asked Bugs if he wanted to quit, but Bugs shook his head no as he wormed closer to the ropes!

“Because he’s quite the fighter, Early!” Shake answered. “Look at him! He may be moments away from not only defeating the Animation Icon Bugs Bunny, he’s about to make him tap out!”

Arthur kept the hold in as Bugs inched desperately closer to the ropes! Bugs yelled in pain. . .until he got to his feet. . .and pushed him up to a standing position, with Arthur still hanging onto the chin lock. . .only for Bugs to elbow Arthur off him and take him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Both men were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count!!!

“And now both men are down!” Early exclaimed. “Who’s gonna win this thing, and face Claude Speed for his World Television Championship?”

Bugs and Arthur remained down until the referee’s count reached four. Bugs and Arthur slowly pushed themselves up to their feet and charged toward each other, getting into a tie-up in the center of the ring! Arthur slid under Bugs and lifted him up for a fireman’s carry, only for Bugs to drop out of it and slap Arthur with a series of chops! Bugs continued to hit Arthur with chop after chop until he was backed up against a corner. Bugs then Irish whipped Arthur toward the opposite corner, with Arthur bouncing off of it HARD. . .and right into an Alabama Slam from Bugs!!! Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out!!!

Bugs pulled Arthur up by the shirt and whacked him in the chest with another furious chop! Bugs then Irish whipped Arthur toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, kneed Arthur in the gut, taking him down over his leg! Bugs then ran against the ropes and landed a leg drop onto Arthur’s sternum! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ARTHUR KICKED OUT!!! Bugs then pulled Arthur up to his feet, raising a fist in the air toward the crowd, who were on their feet!

“And Bugs Bunny now about to put Arthur away, and punch his ticket to Liberty City!” Early declared, as Bugs kicked Arthur in the midsection. . .

. . .lifted him up. . .

. . .but Arthur dropped out of the Bunny Bomb, then took Bugs down with a reverse DDT! Arthur went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 BUGS KICKED OUT!!! Arthur got up and argued with the referee!

“And the Rookie Revolution’s newest member didn’t like the count the referee made!” Shake said, as Bugs staggered up to his feet behind him! Arthur continued to argue with the referee while Bugs charged toward him. . .

. . .only for Arthur to grab Bugs by the back and throw him into the referee, knocking him down in front of the corner! Bugs turned around to face Arthur, who immediately kicked him in the midsection! Arthur ran against the ropes behind him, and went for the Scissors Kick. . .

. . .but missed! Bugs then kicked Arthur in the midsection. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE BUNNY BOMB!!! With the crowd on their feet, Bugs pointed at a corner turnbuckle as he stepped toward it! 

“And Bugs Bunny is about to show Arthur and the Rookie Revolution exactly who’s the boss, with an old but always effective trick!” Early said, as Bugs climbed onto the top rope. . .

. . .slapped his elbow three times. . .

. . .but jumped off the corner and landed on his feet upon seeing Arthur run toward the corner! Arthur ripped off the top turnbuckle’s protective covering as Bugs charged toward him. . .

. . .ONLY TO RUN FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL!!!!

“NOOO!!!!” Early cried! “BUGS GOT A FACEFUL OF STEEL AT THE HANDS OF THE PBS KID!!!”

Bugs stumbled around the ring, selling his head in a daze until Arthur caught him with a headlock. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE FINAL CHAPTER!!!

“Arthur scores with the Final Chapter!” Shake exclaimed, as Arthur went for the cover while the referee woke back up! 1. . .

“NO!!!”

2\. . .

“NOT THIS WAY!!!”

. . .3!!!

Arthur rolled off Bugs and pumped his fists in the air as the bell rang!

“Here is your winner. . .ARTHUR!!!”

“The damn PBS Kid stole his victory yet again, Shake! And now he’s going to Heatwave!” Early said as Arthur stood up to meet the referee, who raised his arm above his head in victory.

“Oh come on, Early!” Shake protested. “It was fair and square to the referee! What the referee sees is what goes! And what he saw was a valiant effort from the PBS Kid here tonight! The Rookie Revolution has added a fine athlete to their ever-growing stable!”

Once the referee let Arthur go, the PBS Kid then pulled Bugs up to his feet. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH ANOTHER FINAL CHAPTER!!!

“OH COME ON!!!” Early screamed as the crowd booed Arthur venomously. “IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY??? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE???”

“He’s making his presence felt, Early!” Shake declared. “He’s making a statement here tonight not only to the World Television Champion, Claude Speed, but also to his fellow Rookie Revolution members! He deserves to be a part of their revolution, and he’ll prove it by winning the World TV Championship!”

“Are you nuts, Shake? He’s facing Claude Speed in a match with an extreme stipulation, in his hometown, nonetheless! The PBS Kid is a sitting duck, and Claude will give him what he deserves at Heatwave!”

Arthur stood up with a smug smile on his face as the crowd continued to boo him until the show went to the backstage area.

In his office, Space Ghost sat at his desk on his cell phone.

“Are you serious? She wants to come, too???” Space Ghost asked before a pause. “But she hasn’t even fought in a match yet—“

Space Ghost looked up to see Claude Speed walking into his office through the doorway.

“—Look, I’ll call you back.” Space Ghost said before hanging up the phone. “Hello, Mr. Speed! What can I do for you?”

“Well, Ghost, you can answer one question. . .ARE YOU F*CKING INSANE???? Out of all the towns you could’ve booked us, we could’ve went to New New York City, we could’ve went to the land of Hyrule, hell, I would rather go to Kirby’s Dreamland!!! But you chose my hometown, Liberty City!!! We’re gonna get eaten alive! I remember Tommy and I went to a CWF house show there a few years back, and after the event, fans were starting a bonfire outside the arena with a mountain of Rojo Bat dolls!”

“Tommy had a lot of fun, but that’s beside the point! My point is the fans there are so rabid, they’ll chant “BORING” if they don’t see someone’s head bust open within thirty seconds!”

“Claude. . .” Space Ghost started to ask, “. . .are you really that worried about the fans, or about your placement at the top of the Liberty City’s Most Wanted list?”

“Don’t worry! I covered it; because you’ll be part of the talent during the show, the LCPD can’t do a thing to you. . .unless you choose to do something insane under unsanctioned circumstances! However. . .you’re worried about the fans when they don’t see blood? Well, Claude, you’ll be the one to give it to them, because at Heatwave, you will be putting the XCW World Television Championship on the line against Arthur. . .

. . .in a FIRST BLOOD MATCH!!!”

A satisfied smile formed on Claude’s face while the crowd cheered in the arena.

“I know about the history between you and Arthur, and want to see the Rookie Revolution be taught first-hand how to break into this industry! And you’re gonna be the one to do it!”

Claude backed away from Space Ghost’s desk and out of the office, nodding and smiling in satisfaction.

“Thanks, Space Ghost.” said Claude as Space Ghost’s cell phone rang.

“No problem!” Space Ghost exclaimed before answering his phone, upon which, Claude left the room.

“Hello?” Space Ghost asked. “Yeah, sorry about that. Now where were we? What? A hedgehog with a God complex? Is he Zeus’s pet, or something?”

Space Ghost paused to listen on the other line until the show went to a hallway, where a pair of feet wearing squeaky black shoes are shown walking down the hallway.

“Well ladies and gentlemen, later tonight we are going to hear from The Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti himself about his current condition following the events of the Cell of Chaos match. But up next, we are going to hear from the man who attacked him after the match, and knocked him out cold! Spongebob Squarepants will explain it all before making his XCW in-ring debut next!” informed Early before the show went to a commercial break.

As the show returned from break, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .the following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!!! Introducing first. . .from Bikini Bottom. . .please welcome. . .the 2011 FWA Superstar of the Year. . .and XCW’s newest free agent acquisition. . .

The crowd erupted into thunderous boos.

“. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!!”

The arena became engulfed in blue light as “Sell Your Soul” by Hollywood Undead played! Spongebob walked onto the stage with security guards behind him as he glared at the fans and walked down the ramp.

“We’re back live here on XCW Monday Night Massacre and Shake, on a night full of answers, I and all of these people can’t wait to hear what this man has to say about his actions last night at Nightfire!” Early said, as Spongebob looked up at the fans, who held up various signs that said “Get Well Soon Tommy” and “OH, SPONGEBOB. . .WHY????”

“Neither can I, Early!” Shake said in agreement. We all know why Spongebob turned his back on the fans while he was in WWT. But now everyone wants to know why he chose XCW as his first destination after WWT folded, and what he has against the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti!”

Spongebob stepped into the ring above the second rope and grabbed the microphone from Plankton’s arms. He strode around the ring still glaring at the fans maliciously before putting the microphone in this ring.

“Wow. . .no matter where I go, whether it be WWT, CWF, or XCW. . .there are always so many fans. And no matter where I go, they look the same. . .hold up the same signs. . .and they’re all pathetic!!!”

The crowd erupted into thunderous boos as Spongebob stopped in his tracks, standing in the center of the ring.

“You XCW fans are just like the fans in WWT, if not worse! Because you buy the pay-per-views. . .you buy tickets to see these guys beat each other senseless with chairs and barbed wire. . .and you continue to watch the show on TV, driving its ratings all the way to the top. . .completely unaware that you’re doing something else while helping XCW succeed. You’re killing all the competition.”

“And this is why WWT had no choice but to fold after Televmania VII. This company resurrected a once-dead era of wrestling. This company features every style of wrestling better than any other! This company won more FWAs in its first year on the air than WWT ever did! This company debuted and became an instant success, while WWT. . .was immediately forgotten. Even after I turned heel, I would hear you idiots in the supermarket, at Goo Lagoon, even the Krustry Krab, you all would go “DUDE! Did you watch Massacre last night? Garfield chokeslammed Sora!” or “OH MY GOD EDDY’S THE NEW D-ED LEADER!” and “Claude Speed holds two titles in two different companies!” The more I heard, the more it made me sick to my stomach!! It’s not only your fault, it’s XCW’s fault that WWT fell in the ratings! It’s XCW’s fault that pay-per-view buys were lower than ever! And it’s XCW’s fault that WWT ended up folding, and leaving WWT superstars like Timmy Turner, Kankuro, and myself unemployed!!”

Spongebob lowered the microphone and glared at the fans in the stands in front of him, who chanted “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

“The only reason I signed a contract here to become XCW’s newest wrestler is because your Commissioner offered me so much money, that if it were for sale, I would buy XCW and burn this company to the ground myself!!!”

The boos continued to rain down onto Spongebob from the crowd.

“But I can’t, and I won’t, because there’s a lot I have to accomplish first. And I crossed one accomplishment off my list last night, when I lifted Tommy’s broken, battered, bloody body high above the ground, dropped him head-first onto a steel chair, knocked him out cold, and sent him to the hospital. My first act upon joining XCW was to destroy Tommy Vercetti, and let me tell you why. That man was the epitome of what XCW stands for! That man was a face of this company! And that man, with his brutality and rebellious attitude, was responsible for the collapse of WWT, and would be the collapse of other companies to follow. But not anymore.”

“I KNOCKED HIM OUT, I SENT HIM TO THE HOSPITAL, AND IF HE’S SMART, I FORCED HIM OUT OF THIS BUSINESS! And that is what you can expect out of me when I face my opponent tonight and every night onwards, until XCW pays for its crime against WWT and the fiction wrestling industry! And if anyone tries to stop me. . .they’ll feel WORSE pain than what Tommy feels now!”

Spongebob threw the microphone down to the mat and glared down the ramp angrily.

“Wow.” was the only Shake could say before. . .

. . .”Amerika” by Rammstein played! Solid Snake stepped down to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

“And his opponent. . .from The United States of America. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

“Early. . .I need help reacting to something.” Shake said. 

Snake glared around at the audience members before finally staring Spongebob down as he carried a kendo stick. He set the stick down against a set of steel steps and slid into the ring.

“We all know Spongebob is a sell out, but even I can’t believe all the hateful things he just said about XCW and Tommy Vercetti! When the Harwood Butcher returns, whenever that may be, I bet he’ll have a few choice things to say, let alone do to the former Superstar of the Year! Meanwhile, Solid Snake, a former two-time XCW Hardcore Champion, is about to go one-on-one with Spongebob, and Shake, because Spongebob is as bitter as he is about WWT folding, I have a bad feeling that Snake won’t last long against him.”

“Unfortunately, Early, you may be right.” Shake agreed sadly, as the bell rang and the match began with Spongebob charging toward Snake and taking him down with a massive clothesline! Spongebob then pulled Snake up to his feet and kicked him in the midsection, then took him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Spongebob then pulled Snake up by the arm and Irish whipped him toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, took him down with a huge elbow smash! Spongebob went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out! Spongebob then Irish whipped Snake hard over the ropes, but Snake caught himself with the top rope to land on the ring apron. . .unaware that Spongebob was running against the ropes on the other side! Snake pulled himself up to stand. . .

. . .ONLY FOR SPONGEBOB TO DROPKICK HIM OFF THE APRON, his head hitting it chin-first as he fell to the ringside floor! Spongebob then dropped down to the floor and nailed Snake in the chest with a chop! Spongebob then Irish whipped Snake toward a ring post, and Snake hit it with a sickening thud head-first, collapsing to the floor! Spongebob then walked over to him and pulled him up by the headband, and ramming him face-first again into the steel post, while the referee’s ten count reached five! Spongebob then slid Snake’s body into the ring, then followed in behind him for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out!!!

“Spongebob’s one angry son of a bitch!” Early commented as Spongebob took Snake down with a backbreaker! “He’s angry at XCW, and he’s taking it all out on Snake right now!”

“Solid Snake is normally a tough-as-nails competitor, but Spongebob is dominating him in every facet!” Shake said, after Spongebob pulled Snake up by the hair. . .only for Snake to surprise him with a punch combination!!! Snake then Irish whipped Spongebob against the ropes. . .only for Spongebob to take him down with a spinning side slam on the bounceback!!! Spongebob went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out!!! Spongebob pulled Snake up, slapping him hard in the face as the crowd chanted “SPONGEBOB SUCKS!!! SPONGEBOB SUCKS!!!”

“And this crowd now letting Spongebob know how they feel about him, just as he did to them before this match even started! And right now, he is humiliating Solid Snake!” Early said as Spongebob lifted Snake and put him on his shoulders. . .but Snake dropped out of it behind him and took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Snake went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spongebob kicked out!!! Spongebob shot up to his knees and glared at Snake angrily. Snake then went to lock Spongebob in the sleeper hold, only for Spongebob to elbow Snake off him. Snake then went for a right hand to Spongebob’s face. . .only for Spongebob to catch his fist in time, then take him down with a T-Bone suplex!!! Spongebob then taunted for Snake to get up, the crowd continuing to boo him. Snake then pulled himself up with the ropes. . .

. . .turned around, and was immediately lifted onto Spongebob’s shoulders! Spongebob then took him down with the Tidal Wave!!! (Wasteland) Spongebob then taunted for Snake to get up!

“And listen to Spongebob now! He really wants to punish Snake like he did to Tommy last night!” Early said in disgust as Spongebob pulled Snake up by his headband, kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE SPONGY EDGE!!! Spongebob went for the cover 1. . .

“GAME!”

2\. . .

“SET!!”

. . .3!!!

“. . .and match.” Early said. Spongebob stood up and looked down at Snake’s prone body angrily as the bell rang!

“Here is your winner. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!”

“Well, with the results of that match, Spongebob Squarepants put a 24 point footnote at the end of his speech!” Early said. “And it says that he’s here to punish XCW for, in his mind, killing WWT!”

The referee raised Spongebob’s arm in victory until he swatted the referee’s arm away. He then looked at the crowd and spelled the letters “W-W-T” with his arms before walking out of the ring and up the ramp.

“Well, if you ask me, it’s flat-out irrational and asinine to blame XCW’s quality product for putting WWT out of business!” Shake said. “We never had anything against WWT when it debuted, and all of us from XCW were sad to see it fold. But Spongebob’s reasoning for his attack on Tommy and his beatdown on Snake tonight are just completely bitter, and tarnish WWT’s legacy!” 

“Well, it was a hell of a statement from Spongebob, it’s been one hell of a night so far here in the city of Townsville, and it’s only gonna get better with our main event! Husband and wife, now World Heavyweight and Women’s Champions respectively, Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi will take on Mario and Peach in a mixed tag team match!” Early said as the show cut to a hospital hallway.

“But up next, you saw him bleed all over O-Town, you saw him survive two twenty-five foot falls, and you saw Spongebob knock him out cold last night in the Cell of Chaos match. We will speak to Tommy Vercetti live about that match and find out more about his condition right after this!” Shake said, until the show faded out to a commercial break.

Alrighty, there’s part one. As always, let me know if there are any character inconsistencies, or if I went a little overboard with anything, particularly with mentioning WWT.

And if you want your company in on the XCW Summer Supershow, please let me know via PM! However, I’m still putting together the card for it, and don’t want to do a typical Supershow, one that features all the World Champions in one match, one with all the mid-card champions in one match, etc. As of right now, I have no idea how many superstars from each company would be on the card, and I have five matches that I for sure want to do, and I’ll let you all know via PM what those are once interest has been expressed.

Part two will come soon, until then, please READ AND REVIEW!


	30. XCW Massacre: June Week 1 Part 2

Hey fans! Here’s part two of this edition of XCW Massacre! I only own my championships.

As Massacre returned from break, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following two-on-one handicap match is scheduled for one fall!”

"What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played to massive boos from the crowd. Eric Cartman walked onto the ramp with Kyle Broflovski and Stan Marsh right behind him.

“Introducing first. . .representing the South Park Four. . .being accompanied to the ring by Kyle Broflovski. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .they are the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .’THE ENFORCER’ ERIC CARTMAN, AND ‘THE LEADER’ STAN MARSH!!!”

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and right now, Shake, I have a feeling that we’re not going to see a wrestling match here. We’re going to see the XCW Tag Team Champions beat an innocent man senseless!” Early said, as Stan, Kyle and Cartman ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising the belts toward the fans, who only booed back at them.

“And it’ll be the second time in two months that he’ll have been mugged senseless at the hands of the South Park Four!” Shake added. “If Luigi hadn’t went after the XCW Hardcore title in the first place, he wouldn’t be asking for it!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage to a mixed reaction from the crowd, raising a peace sign above his head towards the ring.

“And their opponent. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .LUIGI!!!”

“The war between Luigi and the South Park Four began after Luigi returned from a brief hiatus.” informed Early. “He wanted to make a quick impact, and there’s no quicker way to do that in XCW than to win the XCW Hardcore title, which is on the line twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week!”

Luigi entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, raising a peace sign toward the crowd.

“Luigi and Kenny would exchange the Hardcore title on a couple of occasions, with Luigi killing Kenny each time!” Shake added. “However, Kenny would regain the Hardcore title from the less famous Mario Brother last night at Nightfire, only for Rolf to ambush and kill him right before he and the rest of the South Park Four left the arena! But since they had sent D-Generation Ed to the hospital shortly after beating them down with chairs in their tag title match, they automatically assumed that Luigi won back the Hardcore title and killed Kenny once again!”

“Regardless of their mistake, I think the South Park Four are looking to unleash their anger on someone here tonight, and assert their status as the XCW Tag Team Champions!”

Luigi stepped off the turnbuckle. . .only for Stan and Cartman to punch him back-first into the corner, as the bell rang and the match began!!!

“And they sure are!!” confirmed Early, as Stan and Cartman continued to stomp a mudhole into Luigi in the corner, until he fell into a seated position, upon which the referee ordered Stan to a corner. While Stan stepped over the second rope and onto the ring apron next to a corner, Cartman pulled Luigi up and Irish whipped him hard into the opposite corner! Luigi bounced off the corner and right into a double spinebuster from Cartman! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out! Cartman then pulled Luigi up by his overalls then slugged him with a right hand. Cartman hit Luigi in the face with a punch combination, then Irish whipped him toward the ropes, only for Luigi to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! Cartman bounced back, and surprised Luigi with a Lou Thesz Press, hammering away at his face with thunderous right hands! Cartman then got up and ran against the ropes to his right and landed a falling elbow to Luigi’s sternum! Cartman went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out!

Cartman pulled Luigi back up, only for Luigi to surprise him with an uppercut. Luigi then tied Cartman up in a front face lock and lifted him up for a Fireman’s carry, but Cartman dropped out of it and took him down with a belly-to-back slam. Cartman then ran toward Luigi only for Luigi to shove him into his corner. Cartman pulled himself out of the corner, and tagged in Stan. Stan then charged toward Luigi and locked him in a tie-up, pulling him toward the opposite corner. Stan ran up to the second rope and leapt off, taking Luigi down with an arm drag! Stan then pulled Luigi up to his feet and whacked him in the chest with a chop. Stan then kneed him in the abdomen and went for a DDT, but Luigi countered it into a Northern Lights suplex pin attempt! 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out! Luigi pulled Stan up by his shirt and shoved him into a corner, hitting him in the chest with furious chop after chop. Luigi then latched onto the ropes behind him, pulled himself up. . .and landed a falling knee to Stan’s face! Luigi went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Cartman broke up the three count!

“The numbers game is now paying off for the XCW Tag Team Champions!” Early said, as Stan and Cartman both lifted up Luigi and took him down with a double suplex! Stan then grabbed Luigi by his overalls and pulled him up while slapping him across the face! Stan then kicked Luigi into the midsection and ran against the ropes to his left, then took him down with a knee to the face! Stan then ran against the ropes on the other side of the ring, and on the bounceback, landed a falling knee to the face! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out! Stan then grabbed Luigi’s legs and went to put him in the Sharpshooter, only for Luigi to kick Stan off him and toward the ropes in front of him! As Stan bounced back, Luigi stood up and took down the Leader with a powerslam! Luigi then ran against the ropes and landed a leg drop onto Stan! Luigi went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!!!

Luigi then grabbed onto Stan’s legs. . .and locked him in the Boston Crab submission hold!! Stan screamed in agonizing pain as Luigi pressed his knee onto Stan’s back, applying more pressure! 

“Two submission specialists are in the ring right now! Stan’s got the Sharpshooter, Luigi’s got the Boston Crab, and right now, the forgotten Mario Brother has the upper hand against one half of the tag team champions!” Early said.

The referee knelt down and asked Stan if he wanted to quit. Stan was about to shake his head no. . .until Cartman slid into the ring and took Luigi down with a clothesline, breaking the hold! Cartman slid out of the ring while Stan staggered up to his feet, selling his lower back. Luigi pulled himself up with the ropes and charged toward Stan, who took him down with an inverted atomic drop! As Luigi stumbled around the ring in a daze, Stan grasped onto Luigi’s waist and took him down with a back suplex! Stan then taunted for Luigi to stand up, while Luigi slowly staggered up to his feet. . .only to be met with a Lou Thesz Press from Stan!!! Stan then hammered away at Luigi’s face with thunderous right and left hands! Stan then yelled obscenities at fans, who booed back at him while he taunted for Luigi to stand up again. 

“The Leader of the South Park Four telling this capacity crowd what he feels about them, on his way to putting the nail in Luigi’s coffin!” Shake said, as Luigi stumbled up to his feet, and staggered toward Stan, who kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!! Stan crawled onto Luigi for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And the South Park Four gain yet another victory!” Early said before the bell rang.

“Here are your winners. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .Eric Cartman, and Stan Marsh!!!”

Before the referee could raise his arm in victory, Stan pulled Luigi up to his feet and Irish whipped Luigi across the ring while Cartman dropped to the ringside floor and looked under the apron for a weapon. As Luigi bounced back, Stan took down Mario’s brother with another South Park Stunner!!!

“OH COME ON NOW!!!” Early screamed. “You won the damn match! Enough is enough!”

Stan then pulled Luigi back up by the overalls and shoved him toward Cartman, who entered the ring. . .

. . .AND NAILED LUIGI IN THE FACE WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!! Cartman then handed another steel chair to Stan and they took turns hammering away on Luigi’s prone body in the center of the ring! Meanwhile, Kyle grabbed a steel chair from under the ring and joined his comrades on the beatdown!

“Oh dear God!” Early cried. “Our tag team champions are just beating the holy hell out of Luigi!”

“They’re doing this purely out of spite and idiocy, Early!” Shake said. “Luigi is an innocent man!”

Stan then laid his chair across Luigi’s back, while Cartman backed up against the ropes behind him!! Cartman ran toward Luigi for the Big Boy Splash. . .

“NO WAY! CARTMAN’S GONNA CRUSH LUIGI’S CHEST AND THROAT WITH THE CHAIR!!!” Early screamed as Cartman ran toward Luigi for the Big Boy Splash until. . .

“WOAH, hold it Lardo!!!”

Cartman stopped in his tracks and looked up at the titantron along with Stan and Kyle to see Eddy and Ed at a cemetery!

“Surprised to see us?” Eddy asked. “Man, I’ll be honest, you guys are pretty vicious with those chairs. Luigi’s gonna be feeling the effects for weeks! I know that because the chair shot I took that kept us from winning the tag titles still hurts like hell today! What about you, Lumpy? Does yours hurt, too?”

“Popeye the Sailor!” answered Ed.

“See, Monobrow behind me still can’t think straight! Then again, he’s never been able to. . .but that’s not why we’re here. Why we’re here in this cemetery right now is to return something that rightfully belongs. . .”

Eddy stepped to the right, revealing the tombstone they’re standing in front of to be. . .Kenny McCormick’s!!!

“. . .in its grave!”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Stan, Kyle and Cartman flipped out in the ring!!!

“You see,” Eddy continued, “shortly after his death, Kenny came back to life and ran to the hospital we stayed in, with hopes of regaining the Hardcore title that Rolf, NOT Luigi, won back from him last night!! Let’s just say our Son of a Shepherd took good care of him, and now we’re returning him to where he rightfully belongs!” 

Rolf then stepped out of the back of a van, dragging Kenny toward his grave!!!

“He’s more ornery than Rolf’s great-Nano’s pet turkey Olaf!” Rolf said. “He ran without a head for five minutes before finally becoming Thanksgiving dinner—“

Kenny suddenly kicked Rolf in the shin, breaking free! Kenny turned around and traded right hands with Rolf. . .only for Ed to pick Kenny up, sit him on his shoulders. . .

. . .AND TAKE HIM DOWN WITH THE ELEDRIFIER ONTO A HEADSTONE!!! Stan, Kyle and Cartman were hopping mad in the ring as the crowd cheered in shocked excitement!

Ed then drug Kenny’s prone body and threw it toward Eddy, who kicked him in the midsection, and took him down with the Edigree on another headstone!!!

“Boy, Stretch! You weren’t kidding!” Eddy said before throwing Kenny into the giant hole in front of his tombstone! “And now to keep him here for a little while longer. . .come on back, Double D!”

“Oh dear. . .I hate South Park enough to do this. . .I just hope my family never finds out. . .” said Edd. . .from the back of a cement truck!!! 

Kyle, Stan and Cartman continued to flip out until the cement truck backed up right next to Kenny’s grave!!!

“You’re all good Sockhead! Let ‘er rip!” Eddy exclaimed, as Edd came close to pushing a button that said “Release Cement” on it. . .

“WAIT!!!” Stan screamed into a microphone in the arena. The Eds turned to look at Stan in the ring, who had his arm out in protest.

“Please. . .please don’t do it!” Stan pleaded. “We’ll do anything!!!”

“Oh really?” Eddy said. “Will you give us one more match for the tag team titles at Heatwave???”

Stan raised his microphone to speak. . .until Cartman stepped in front of him, looking up at the Titantron with a scowl on his face!

“HELL NO we ain’t gonna give you another title shot!” yelled Cartman, as Stan and Kyle looked at him with wide, shocked eyes! “You got your rematch last night, and you lost! You don’t deserve another shot with us as champions! With that in mind, you will RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!!!”

“DUDE!!! NO!!!” Stan and Kyle yelled inaudibly as Eddy turned to the cement truck. 

“Very well! You leave me no other choice. Double D, will you do the honors?”

“Sure thing, Eddy!” Double D assured, before PUSHING THE BUTTON!!! Wet cement came out of the truck’s back spout, filling Kenny’s grave up to the top with it!!!

“BAH GAWD!!! BAH GAWD!!!” Early screamed as Edd stepped out of the truck and came to Eddy’s side!

“Oh my God! They killed Kenny!” Stan yelled.

“You bastards!” exclaimed Kyle, as Eddy looked into the camera.

“And if you’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for ya!!!”

Edd and Eddy did the DX crotch chop multiple times to the camera, leaving Stan, Kyle and Cartman in the ring looking up at them in total disbelief!!!

“BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!!” Early screamed. “For the second time in as many nights, D-Generation Ed has killed Kenny!”

“Will you relax, Early? He’ll be back next week!” assured Shake.

“Even so, this does not look to sit well with the tag team champions! How will they retaliate???”

Eddy and Edd continued to make fun of the South Park Four while Ed took a whiz behind Kenny’s tombstone until the show went to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in between Mario and Peach with a microphone in hand.

“Mario, Peach. . .” Carl said, “. . .your brother Luigi just now got assaulted by the South Park Four, and this is their second assault on him in the last two months. Do you have anything to say about the matter?”

“Yes, Carl. I do. Due to my preoccupations with reclaiming the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, I was unable to come to my brother’s aid. But not anymore! I want to avenge my brother’s mugging, and I will start as soon as next week, because I’m issuing the face of that faction a challenge. Eric Cartman, I want you in the ring, in a one-on-one match on Massacre! You can bring your friends out with you, that’s okay. . .because I’ll be bringing mine as well! When you mess with one Mario brother, you mess with me, too! And I’ll show you exactly what happens when you fight the Mario Brothers next week, and it won’t be a pretty sight for you!”

“Mario has issued a challenge to The Enforcer, Eric Cartman, to a match next week on Monday Night Massacre! That’ll be a match everyone wants to see on the XCW stage! But another match everyone has wanted to see will finally come to fruition later on tonight, because in our main event, you and Peach will take on the XCW Women’s Champion, Sora Takenouchi, and the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya, in a dream intergender tag team match. However, you both are coming off losses against them last night in singles competition. With that in mind, how do you think your chances are against them tonight?”

“Our chances are even better than they were last night, and let me tell you why. Between the assault on my brother, Peach losing the Women’s Championship, and Tai forcing me to tap out last night, we’re-a so angry, we feel like killing the closest Goomba! But we are now twice as motivated to take our anger and use it on Tai and Sora tonight! They claim they are the examples to follow to become champions? Peach and I have held the Women’s and World titles more times than they ever will, and with our iconic status in the fictionverse, and our decorated history in this business, we are the examples to follow to gain any type of success, not just in fiction wrestling, but in every business known to man! So by the end of the night, Tai and Sora will learn that the best example to follow in XCW. . .is a-me. . .the Champion of Life. . .MARIO!!!”

Mario and Peach strode away from Carl hand-in-hand as the show went to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Early and Shake sat at the announcer’s table. 

“Man, Mario and Peach are fuming! But as they learned last night, beating Tai and Sora is a tall order!” Shake said. “I can’t wait to see the battle between two of the most talked about couples in this industry today.”

“Neither can I, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “But right now, ladies and gentlemen, we’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre on TNT, and joining us right now live via satellite from the O-Town General Hospital, is the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti! Tommy, let’s start with the obvious. . .how do you feel following the events inside the Cell of Chaos last night?”

The show cut to a hospital room, where Tommy Vercetti laid on a hospital bed looking right into the camera.

“Well, Early. . .let’s just say I would’ve expressed my thoughts via Twitter, but because it hurts so much to type, I’ve had to have a doctor send my Tweets for me.” Tommy answered. “I’m sore everywhere, I had to get a blood transfusion, and my head still aches, so I’ll be stuck in this bed for at least another week. But mark my words, I will return to XCW in time for both the Summer Supershow and Heatwave!”

“Gosh, Tommy, sorry to hear you’re in so much pain!” Early said. “You put your body and soul on the line in many ways to tame the monster Garfield last night. You lost a lot of blood, took multiple shots to the head, and fell twenty-five feet twice! Can you describe for us what was going through your mind after you were thrown from the top of the Cell, and through our announce table?”

Deep in thought, Tommy paused before letting out a long sigh.

“All I can tell you is that when I fell, my heart was racing. I thought I would get wasted right then and there. . .and I blacked out once I hit the table. When I woke up, I was on the ramp after Garfield knocked me off the stretcher. That’s how much I remember about the fall. I do remember Garfield dragging me up the cage. . .and the second fall. After that landing, I could’ve sworn I broke my tailbone but all I did was bruise it. Either way, it hurt.”

“Tommy, Spongebob Squarepants had a few choice things to say about his arrival in XCW just now.” Shake said. “He holds XCW responsible for WWT going out of business, and attacked you because you are the epitome of what we stand for. Do you have anything to say in response to Spongebob’s accusations?”

Tommy’s brow furrowed in anger.

“Yes, I do, Shake. I have a lot of things to say about Spongebob. Even though we’re polar opposites at first glance, we do have a few things in common, at least in our wrestling careers. We’re both faces of our respective organizations. We’re both brutal in our own way; I’m brutal with weapons, he’s brutal with his words. But if there’s one thing we don’t have in common as wrestlers, it’s that I don’t go off and blame everyone else for my own mistake! WWT died because Spongebob turned his back on everyone that loved and respected him. For the short term, it worked. Ratings skyrocketed big time, with all the fans wondering why their former hero betrayed them. But when he finally broke it to them that the fans themselves were responsible, they turned around and left outright. They changed the channel to Massacre, Flame or Brawl to watch the best characters in this business beat the snot out of each other because Generation Be A Star’s animation icon was insulting them on WWT’s program week in and week out, and they didn’t want to hear any more of it!”

“And right now, Spongebob, I hope you’re watching this, because I don’t want to hear you brag about how you forced me out of this business, because my foot is still in the door! And when I walk through those doors and down the entranceway, hopefully by next week, I want to hear you give me an answer to my next request.”

“Spongebob. . .I want to welcome you to XCW the only way I can: in a fight! But not just any one-on-one fight, hell no! Spongebob, I want you. . .at Heatwave. . .one-on-one. . .

. . .in a LIBERTY CITY STREET FIGHT!!!”

The crowd went electric until Early spoke again. “Tommy, we’ve seen many variations of street fights over the years, from the straight-up street fight, to the Monster’s Ball match, to even a Christmas-themed street fight! If I may ask, what’s the difference between a street fight and the Liberty City street fight?”

“Well, Early, like any other street fight, it must be won in the ring. The only difference. . .is that the match doesn’t start in the ring. It starts in front of the Burger Shot in Algonquin, each man in the match with a weapon in hand! The fight continues until each man reaches the Liberty Memorial Coliseum! We’ll fight through the ticket check, we’ll fight through the hallways, onto the stage, down the ramp, and into the ring. . . .which will have barbed wire ropes!!!”

The crowd gasped in shock!

“And the fight will go on until there’s a winner!” Tommy finished. “Spongebob knocked me out cold when he debuted. . .well, I’m gonna welcome him to XCW and my old stomping grounds through the most extreme measures! Because my name is Tommy Vercetti. . .and I’m here to raise HELL!!!”

Tommy stared angrily into the camera until the show went to a commercial break.

As the show returned from a commercial break, Space Ghost sat in his office on his cell phone.

“I have no idea. Like I said before, it’s bad publicity. Look, you’ll know when everyone else knows!” Space Ghost said before Carl Brutanandilewski stepped into the room with a microphone in hand.

“Look, I’ll call you back.” Space Ghost said before hanging up the phone, and turning his attention to Carl. “Yes?”

“Commissioner Space Ghost, can you give us any more information about the XCW Summer Supershow?”

“I sure can, Carl!” Space Ghost said excitedly. “However, I will wait until next week instead, because not only do you have to hear the news, but so does everyone in the locker room, and all the people in the stands! What I and the general managers involved have planned for it will make it the greatest supershow this industry’s ever seen! However. . .there’s one thing that I CAN tell you. . .and that is. . .”

Space Ghost stood up and came up next to Carl, grabbing the microphone and putting it up to his mouth.

“Expect. . .chaos.”

The crowd erupted into cheers and gasps of shock as Space Ghost left the office, leaving Carl dumbfounded until the show went back to the arena.

“Oh my God! You don’t think. . .” Shake wondered.

“He can’t mean. . .” Early said, until Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following contest is an intergender tag team match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event of the evening!!!”

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario and Peach ran onto the stage and down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd, both of them raising their hands in a peace sign towards the ring.

“Introducing first. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .the team of PEACH TOADSTOOL AND MARIO!!!”

“Last night these two competed in very physical matchups!” reminded Shake. “Peach defended what used to be her Women’s Championship in a triple threat match, and lost to her long-time XCW adversary, who she’ll see coming up. Meanwhile, her husband Mario, the Champion of Life, fought valiantly in an attempt to regain his status as the Star of XCW, but in the end, Tai Kamiya reigned supreme and retained his XCW World Heavyweight title! But right now, these two look to at least reclaim their status as the best couple in all of fiction wrestling with a win here tonight!”

Mario and Peach entered the ring and climbed on opposite turnbuckles. Peach blew a kiss to the commentators while Mario raised a peace sign high above his head.

“You’re absolutely right, Shake! And right now, these two look to at least reclaim their status as the best couple in all of fiction wrestling with a win here tonight! But I have just received word that Eric Cartman has accepted Mario’s challenge from earlier tonight, so next week on Monday Night Massacre, we will see the Champion of Life, Mario, go one on one with “The Enforcer” Eric Cartman in a one-on-one match! Between that, Tommy’s challenge to Spongebob, and Space Ghost’s news about the Summer Supershow, I am as excited for next week as I am for this match!”

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played as Tai and Sora ran onto the stage and down the ramp to a standing ovation from the crowd!

“And their opponents. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .the team of the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Champion, and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI AND TAI KAMIYA!!!”

“These two have taken the fictionverse by storm since debuting in XCW!” Early said. “And now they walk down the ramp together as husband and wife, hand-in-hand, and XCW World and Women’s Champions!” Early said, as Tai and Sora slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles toward the fans, both of them raising their title belts high above their heads.

“These two have everything going for them, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “But you’ve got to wonder, who will be next to step up and challenge them?”

“Well, if Space Ghost’s words to Carl just now are any indication, I have a feeling his next challenger will be a complex but dangerous individual. But right now, we have an intergender tag team matchup between two of the most iconic couples in all of fiction!”

The bell rang and the match began with Mario and Tai facing off in the center of the ring. They both paced around the ring, staring each other down until they came into a tie-up in the center of the ring. Tai lifted Mario up for a fireman’s carry only for Mario to drop out of it and put Tai into a front face lock, then knee him in the face before turning around to lock him in a waist-lock and rake his back! Mario then dropkicked Tai toward the ropes, and after Tai bounced back, Mario slugged him with an uppercut, then took him down with a Jawbreaker! Mario went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!!

Mario pulled Tai up by the hair and put him in a waist-lock and elbowed him in the back of the head. Mario then went for a German suplex, but Tai dropped out of it, turned Mario around to face him and slapped him across the chest with a series of chops, until Mario was driven into a corner. Tai then hit Mario in the chest with repeated shoulder thrusts until Mario fell into a seated position in the corner. Tai then grabbed Mario by the overalls and pulled him up, then sent him flying with a Monkey Flip! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!!! Tai pulled Mario up to his feet, only for the Champion of Life to grab onto his arm and take him down with an arm drag! Mario then ran toward his cover and tagged in Peach, who entered the ring to boos from the crowd!

“Now in this intergender tag team match, Tai must tag in Sora right now to face Peach, or risk disqualification!” Early informed, as Tai stepped to his corner and tagged in Sora, to massive cheers!

“That’s right!” affirmed Shake. “Tai can’t put his hands on Peach in a sanctioned match, but the new Women’s Champion can!”

Sora charged toward Peach and immediately took her down with a fireman’s carry in the center of the ring, then landed a leg drop onto her shoulder! With her grip still on Peach’s arm, Sora pulled her up and Irish whipped her into a corner, only for Peach to counter it with an Irish whip of her own! Sora hit the corner, and Peach ran toward her, connecting with a huge corner splash! Sora then fell to a seated position in the corner, then Peach began to stomp a mudhole into her! Peach then ran to the opposite corner, raising a peace sign up to boos from the crowd. Peach charged toward Sora for a boot to the face. . .but Sora spun out of the corner, sending Peach to hit the middle turnbuckle!!! Peach sold her foot in pain until Sora took her down with a dragon screw! Sora went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out!

Sora pulled Peach up and went for a chop, only for Peach to block it in time and nail the Women’s Champion in the face with a right hand! Peach then hit a punch combination that sent Sora up against the ring ropes. Peach then Irish whipped Sora across the ring, and after Sora bounced back, Peach took her down with a neckbreaker! Peach then ran against the ropes behind her and landed a falling knee to the face! Peach went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!!! Peach looked down at Sora with a menacing glare, then grabbed her legs and locked her into the Boston Crab submission hold! 

“The Boston Crab submission hold is just as deadly from Peach as it is from Mario and Luigi!” Early said. “And Peach has Sora locked in it, dead to rights!”

Sora winced in agonizing pain while the referee asked her if she wanted to quit. Sora shook her head no as she crawled toward the ring ropes. . .but Peach stepped to the center of the ring, dragging Sora with her! Sora let out a yell as Peach pressed her knee against Sora’s back, applying more pressure!!! Sora inched her way toward the ropes again. . .

. . .until Tai ran into the ring and broke up the submission hold!!! Mario then charged into the ring and dove after Tai, taking him down with a clothesline! Tai and Mario rolled out of the ring and onto the apron, while Sora pulled herself up with the ropes, selling her lower back while Peach slowly stood up to her feet. Peach and Sora then charged toward each other and got into a tie-up in the center of the ring, with Peach putting Sora into a waist-lock and nailing her in the back with a right hand! Sora winced in pain as she turned around to face her adversary, only to be taken down with a DDT! Peach went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SORA KICKED OUT!!! Peach couldn’t believe it!!! 

Peach then grabbed Sora by the hair and pulled her back up. . .only for Sora to surprise Peach with a chop! Sora then grasped Peach’s head in a headlock and drove her against the ropes behind her. . .only for Peach to shove Sora off her on the bounceback! Sora ran against the ropes on the other side of the ring as Peach charged toward her. . .only for Sora to take Peach down with a Soracanrana pin attempt on the bounceback! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 PEACH KICKED OUT!!! Both Sora and Peach were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count!!!

“Both of these bitter rivals are down!” Early called. “Who will make the tag first???”

Sora and Peach each crawled toward their respective corners as the crowd chanted “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!” Tai and Mario slapped their hands repeatedly on the top turnbuckles in front of them in anticipation as Sora and Peach wormed closer to their corners. . .

. . .extended their hands out. . .

. . .and successfully made the tags to Mario and Tai, with Mario getting into the ring a second early! Mario and Tai charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring, with Mario taking down the World Champion with a clothesline! Mario taunted for Tai to get up and went for another Clothesline, only for Tai to duck and avoid it, then spin to face Mario’s back! Tai lifted Mario up for a back drop, only for Mario to drop out of it behind him and take him down with an Atomic Drop! Mario then dropkicked Tai in the back, sending him over the second rope, and onto the ring apron. Mario taunted the crowd with a peace sign high above his head, completely unaware that Tai had pulled himself up with the ropes! Tai leapt onto the top rope. . .

. . .AND TOOK DOWN THE CHAMPION OF LIFE WITH A SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY!!! Tai went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 MARIO KICKED OUT!!! Tai knelt up from the cover in disappointment! Tai then stood back up and waited for Mario to pull himself up with the ropes in front of him. . .

. . .grabbed onto his arm and took him down for the Crossface---

\---NO!!! Mario countered it with an Irish whip!!! Tai bounced off the ropes and right into a kick to the midsection from Mario! Mario then draped Tai’s arm over his shoulder, and took him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex!!! Mario went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 TAI KICKED OUT!!! Mario looked down at his adversary in frustrated anger! 

“And the Champion of Life now looking like he’s getting desperate!” Early declared as Mario stomped toward the top rope! 

“And desperate times call for desperate measures!” added Shake, as Mario climbed to the top rope! “And Mario may end it with a desperate Super Mario Splash!!!”

Mario leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH!!! Mario went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 SORA BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT WITH A FALLING ELBOW!!! Mario gave Sora an angry glare as she went back to her corner. . .

. . .UNTIL PEACH RAN INTO THE RING AND KNOCKED HER DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!! 

“BAH GAWD!!! PEACH MAY HAVE TAKEN SORA OUT OF THE EQUATION IN THIS MATCHUP!!!” Early declared, as Peach climbed up to the top rope. . .sized up Sora, who staggered up to her feet. . .

. . .leapt off the top rope for a flying moonsault. . .

. . .BUT SORA CAUGHT HER AND TOOK HER DOWN WITH A POWERSLAM ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!! Both Sora and Peach were down on the ringside floor, trying to catch their breath! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Mario pulled Tai up by the hair and slapped him in the chest with a chop. Mario went for another chop. . .but Tai grabbed Mario’s arm in time to move behind him. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!! Tai kept his grasp on Mario’s waist and took him down with ANOTHER German suplex!!! Tai pulled Mario up once more. . .and took him down with a final German suplex, this one with a pin attempt!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 MARIO KICKED OUT!!! Tai looked down at Mario in shock before pulling him back up to his feet, hitting him in the face with right hand after right hand. . .only for Mario to catch Tai’s fist and Irish whip him toward the ropes. . .only for Tai to counter it with an Irish whip of his own!!! Meanwhile on the outside of the ring, Peach and Sora had stumbled back up to their feet, exchanging right hands until Sora surprised Peach with a left hand, knocking her back a bit!

Back in the ring, Mario came back toward Tai on the bounceback. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN WITH AN ALABAMA SLAM FROM TAI!!! Sora then threw Peach chest-first into the ring apron before sliding her back into the ring! 

“Both Mario and Peach are down in the center of the ring!!!” Early cried as Tai and Sora each climbed onto opposite turnbuckles!!!

“We all wanted to know who the best couple in XCW is tonight, and right now, Early, we’re getting our answer!!!” Shake declared as Tai and Sora leapt off their top ropes. . .

. . .AND HIT THE TAI DIVE ONTO MARIO, AND THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO PEACH AT THE SAME TIME!!! Sora and Peach both rolled out of the ring, Sora selling her abdomen from the impact as Tai crawled on top of Mario for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

The crowd erupted into applause and cheers as Tai rolled off Mario after the bell rang!!!

“The winners of this match. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI AND TAI KAMIYA!!!”

“Well, Early, all these fans waited for this dream match to happen, and for an answer to the question, ‘Who is the best couple in XCW?’ I have a feeling they’ll go home happy both with the answer and the match itself!”

The referee raised Tai and Sora’s arms in victory before handing them their championship belts.

“I think they will, too, Shake!” Early said in agreement. “And give a lot of credit to Mario and Peach tonight. They gave their all tonight and last night against their XCW rivals, but as of this moment, the top of the XCW mountain is occupied by Sora Takenouchi and Tai Kamiya!”  
Tai and Sora then embraced each other into a passionate kiss in the center of the ring to more cheers from the audience!

“. . .and it will be for years to come.“ Early said. . .

. . .until. . .

. . .”Bad Man” by Jim Johnston played!!!

“What the---?” Shake said as Tai and Sora looked up at the stage to see. . .

. . .GARFIELD!!!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Early screamed. “OH MY GOD!!! IT’S GARFIELD!!!”

His head and back bandaged, Garfield looked down at Tai and Sora from the stage with an angry stare as he stomped down the ramp!!!

“The last time we saw Garfield, he survived a trip to Hell and back with Tommy Vercetti in the Cell of Chaos!!!” Early said. “And he looks to have some unfinished business with the XCW Heavyweight Champion of the World!!!”

Garfield climbed onto the ring apron and stormed toward Sora and Tai; with Sora running toward a side of the ring, while Tai ran toward his most bitter rival. . .

. . .ONLY FOR GARFIELD TO GRAB BOTH OF THEM BY THE THROAT!!!! Garfield then raised Tai and Sora high above his head. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED THEM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A THUNDEROUS DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!!!

Garfield looked down at Tai and Sora with the same malicious stare, then grabbed the XCW World Heavyweight Championship at Tai’s side as his music played again.

Garfield glared up at the crowd with the same hateful sneer as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Results

Space Ghost announced XCW Summer Supershow and XCW Heatwave at Liberty City  
Arthur defeated Bugs Bunny (wins Number One Contendership to XCW World Television Championship)  
Spongebob Squarepants defeated Solid Snake  
Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman defeated Luigi in a Handicap match  
Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi defeated Mario and Peach

Alrighty, there’s part two! As always, As always, let me know if there are any character inconsistencies, or if I went a little overboard with anything, especially with D-Generation Ed in the cemetery. I wanted to do a DX-style prank with them, and thought their acts in the cemetery would make sense considering Kenny dies all the time. XD

But with the answers we got this week, come more questions. With the card all set, what matches and companies will Space Ghost confirm to be at the Supershow? Will Spongebob accept Tommy Vercetti’s challenge at Heatwave? Will Mario avenge Luigi’s assaults at the hands of the South Park Four? And what more destruction will Garfield bring in his quest to regain the XCW World Heavyweight title from Tai Kamiya? All that and more will be answered on the next episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre!

That will come soon, until then, READ AND REVIEW!!!


	31. XCW Massacre: June Week 2 Part 1

Hey fans! Here's the newest chapter of XCW Monday Night Massacre! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

"We are just one week away, seven days, from the XCW Summer Supershow! Superstars from all over the industry will walk the halls, fight in sanctioned matches, and have a good time with us in the XCW locker room! But even more chaos reigns even now as we speak, with the reemergence of the monster Garfield in the life of Tai Kamiya, and the XCW World Heavyweight Championship picture! What will happen between the two tonight here in Stoolbend, Virginia? Hello again everybody! I'm Early Cuyler here with Master Shake at ringside, and tonight, Shake, we've got a match between a Champion of Life, and one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions!"

"We sure do, Early!" Shake said in agreement. "The first XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Mario, looks to avenge the beatdowns his brother Luigi has suffered at the hands of the South Park Four, and he plans to do just that against "The Enforcer" Eric Cartman!"

"And last week on Massacre, Spongebob blamed XCW and Tommy Vercetti for the death of WWT! Tommy responded by challenging Spongebob to a Liberty City Street Fight at Heatwave! Will Spongebob accept? We'll get an answer live here tonight!"

Early and Shake looked up to the ring as. . .

. . ."Hit Single" by Sonny Sharrock played, to thunderous cheers from the crowd!

"But we start off the night once again with a word from our Commissioner!" Early said, as Space Ghost stepped onto the entranceway and walked down the ramp with a wide, excited smile on his face.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .SPACE GHOST!"

"Last week, Space Ghost announced to our fans and the entire fiction wrestling industry that our next pay-per-view Heatwave will not only be summer-themed, but also extreme-themed! That's right, every match on the card will have an extreme stipulation!" Early informed as Space Ghost walked up the steel steps and entered the ring above the second rope.

"And he also announced plans for an XCW Summer Supershow next week here on Monday Night Massacre!" Shake added. "But Space Ghost also told our backstage correspondent, Carl Brutanandilewski, to 'expect chaos' at the Supershow! What he meant by that is anybody's guess, but we're about to find that and a lot more out right now!"

Space Ghost received a microphone from the timekeeper and stepped into the center of the ring.

"Greetings, XCW fans!" said Space Ghost into the microphone to cheers from the crowd! "I'm Commissioner Space Ghost!"

The crowd continued to cheer as Space Ghost looked around with a smile at the fans, who also chanted "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"Now ladies and gentlemen, there is a full slate of action ahead for you all here tonight! For example. . .tonight, you will see D-Generation Ed's 'Assistant With Assets' Nazz, go one-on-one against the former XCW Women's Champion Peach in a number one contender's match for the XCW Women's Championship! But that's not all! You'll also see Spongebob Squarepants compete in this ring tonight, and the 'Champion of Life' Mario will go one-on-one with "The Enforcer" Eric Cartman!"

The crowd cheered upon Space Ghost's announcement.

"Now, with that out of the way, there are a few announcements I have to make regarding both XCW Heatwave and the XCW Summer Supershow in just one week! First off. . .Heatwave. Yes, every match will still require an extreme stipulation. Yes, it will still be in Liberty City. However, last weekend, at a baseball game in the Liberty Memorial Coliseum, where the pay-per-view was originally booked, a riot broke out that was so huge, a rioter blew a hole into the stadium with a rocket launcher, making it unusable for the foreseeable future."

"But fear not, fans, for I acted fast and got Heatwave booked in Liberty City yet again. . .but in a much smaller venue. That's right, XCW Heatwave will be hosted in Liberty City's Bohan suburb, in the old Sprunk Warehouse. . .which I have bought and renamed. . .the XCW Arena!"

"WHAT?" Early cried, as the fans cheered.

"But. . .but that's a former soda factory! Might as well host it in a bingo hall!" Shake exclaimed.

"That's right, 2500 of Liberty City's sickening, twisted fans will scream for the blood of every XCW superstar in the XCW Arena, 20 days from now! But seven days from now, in Quahog, Rhode Island, XCW Monday Night Massacre will host a Summer Supershow, where, for the first time in fiction wrestling history, a Supershow will include the top six companies in the ratings!"

The crowd cheered at Space Ghost's announcement.

"That's right! All you people will get the absolute best for the XCW Summer Supershow, because all the superstars from XCW, WWE's animated division, UCA, UWE, CCW, and PCUW will walk our halls. . .compete against each other in sanctioned matches. . .and drink all my tequila."

The crowd laughed at Space Ghost's statement.

"And allow me to announce that at the Supershow, Claude Speed will defend the Toon Hardcore Championship against Francis from WWE: Animated, XCW's Nazz will team up with UWE's Asui Hikaru to face the Toon Women's Champion, Sailor Moon, and the UCA Women's Champion, Lightning Farron, and in a No-Holds-Barred match, "The Harwood Butcher" Tommy Vercetti, will go one-on-one with "UWE's Worst Nightmare". . .THOMAS AMBROSE!"

The crowd showered the arena in cheers of excitement as Space Ghost looked around at them in astonishment.

"But that's not all to be planned. . .because the PCUW founders, the Erupting Eds, who you know here as D-Generation Ed. . .will have a special summer edition of The Ed Factor. . .and their guests on the show will be none other than. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .TEAM 2D, TOM AND JERRY!"

"OH MY GOD!" Early exclaimed, as the crowd chanted "NON-STOP VIOLENCE! NON-STOP VIOLENCE!" Space Ghost looked at them with a confident smirk.

"Oh, there'll be plenty of that at the Supershow, rest assured! Because there will also be—"

Suddenly, "Bad Man" by Jim Johnston played! Space Ghost turned to the stage to see Garfield staring him down with Jon Arbuckle at his side!

"And the Commissioner of XCW has been interrupted by none other than the former XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Garfield!" said Early, as Garfield and Jon stomped down the ramp to massive boos from the crowd, microphones in hand.

"Last week, after Tai and Sora defeated Mario and Peach in an intergender tag team match, Garfield interrupted the celebration between the World and Women's Champion, by storming down the ramp, and into the ring, chokeslamming both of them, making it very clear that he has unfinished business with Tai Kamiya!"

Garfield climbed over all three ropes and came face-to-face with Space Ghost as Jon Arbuckle entered the ring over the second rope and came to his housepet's side.

"Hello, Space Ghost!" Jon Arbuckle said with a scowl. "Remember me? I'm the man whose job you stole! And the beast right next to me. . .is Garfield!"

The crowd erupted into boos as Garfield looked down at Space Ghost with the same malicious stare.

"And if I may be honest here, I personally believe that if I were still Commissioner of XCW, I would be doing a much better job at putting together Heatwave and the Summer Supershow than you are!"

The crowd then chanted "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" at deafening levels!

"What are you trying to do? Turn XCW into a hospital wing? If I were STILL in your position, I wouldn't put my entire roster in so much danger of hurting themselves, shortening their careers, and ending their lives! Every match at Heatwave will have an extreme stipulation? You've already booked Liberty City's Lucifer in a First Blood match against a PBS Kid. Why don't you just make a 'Pistol on a Pole' match while you're at it?"

"And the XCW Supershow is so much worse! You have so many psychopaths set to walk our hallways and wreak havoc on all our talent! UCA's Crash Bandicoot!"

The crowd cheered upon Crash's mention.

"UWE's Majin Buu!"

The crowd cheered even louder.

"'The Hellview Devil' himself, Charlie Araya!"

The crowd erupted into more cheers!

"And. . .WWE: Animated's "Merc With A Mouth', DEADPOOL!"

The cheers of the crowd reached deafening levels as Jon continued to look at Space Ghost angrily.

"These four men have a reputation for being dangerous inside and outside of the ring! If one of our superstars rubs them the wrong way, they'll be dead on impact, and it'll be all your fault!"

"So I suggest that right now, you change your focus from the XCW Summer Supershow, to the best interests of your current talent, specifically, the best interest of the superstar on the XCW roster. The man who survived a trip to hell and back inside the Cell of Chaos at Nightfire. . .the man who never got a rematch for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship that he deserves. . .the man who just one month into this company's existence, broke your back when he grabbed you by the throat. . .raised you high above his head. . .and chokeslammed you onto solid concrete! And if you don't give this man the rematch that he wants and requires. . .he may take you on a trip to hell and back, and take the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya, along with you!"

Jon and Garfield glared at Space Ghost until—

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played! The crowd stood up and went wild as Tai Kamiya walked onto the stage and down the ramp with the XCW World Heavyweight title belt around his waist, and a microphone in hand.

"And right on cue comes the XCW World Heavyweight Champion!" Early exclaimed, as Tai slid into the ring and came up to Space Ghost's side, giving Jon Arbuckle an incensed look.

"Well, look who it is!" Arbuckle said, until Tai Kamiya raised his microphone and said,

"SHUT THE HELL UP, ARBUCKLE!" to cheers from the crowd! "I don't know if you're the biggest hypocrite in all of XCW, or the biggest hypocrite in all of wrestling! You want to come out here and accuse Space Ghost of endangering us for the sake of ratings? This, coming from the same man who booked matches where his housepet threw a man off a 25-foot cell, and another match where the same monster threw a man into the crowd, up to the stage and back again, only to beat him senseless with a steel chair."

Jon Arbuckle stretched his collar out in front of him as the crowd chanted "HYPOCRITE! HYPOCRITE!"

"But in case you haven't realized it since I last faced your housepet, or watched what he went through inside the Cell of Chaos, but last time I checked, sacrificing your body is a part of this profession! That's what we all signed up for when this company came into existence! And I don't care who's coming here for the Supershow, whether it be Deadpool, Majin Buu, the Sony Saints, hell, bring on BROLY OR ITACHI-"

The crowd exploded into cheers of surprise after their mention.

"—it doesn't matter who UCA, PCUW, WWE: Animated, CCW, or UWE send to the Summer Supershow, because I know for a fact that on that night, we are going to show all our fans exactly why we are the best company in this business right now! And one reason for that, and the reason I'm out here right now, is because I am not only the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, but also I am the BEST World Heavyweight Champion out of all the current men that hold the belt! In an age where we've recently seen World Champions cheat to keep streaks alive, hold men hostage to being a new era, and assault innocents in the street, I have come out to this ring, put my body on the line, and fought my heart out not just for me, or my wife, but to prolong the legacy of this belt, and to represent this business as the model World Heavyweight Champion!"

"And Garfield. . .you did survive a trip to Hell and back. . .you still hold a grudge against me. . .and you made your point loud and clear when you attacked Sora and I last week. Well, allow me to make mine. You want to put me and Sora through our own personal Hell again? You want to rip the XCW World Heavyweight Championship off of my waist? You want a rematch at Heatwave with an extreme stipulation?

. . .

. . .YOU GOT IT!"

The crowd erupted into thunderous cheers as Tai looked up at Garfield, even more incensed with anger than before.

"I risked my life to win this title from you at Endgame, and at Heatwave, I'll do whatever it takes, and even more so to keep you from taking it back!"

Jon Arbuckle raised his microphone and began to speak. . .until Garfield ripped it from his hands, and stared Tai down right in his face!

"I still hold a grudge against you. . .because even though you're the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, you're still a naïve, ignorant daredevil who doesn't know when to shut his mouth! At Heatwave, not only will the XCW World Heavyweight Championship be back in my possession, but I will have torn you limb from limb. . .and beaten you to a pulp so bloody, you'll be in an iron lung for the rest of your life! And as for Sora—"

"LEAVE SORA OUT OF THIS!" Tai screamed, until Space Ghost finally came between them, speaking into his microphone.

"GENTLEMEN, THAT IS ENOUGH!" Space Ghost exclaimed, turning first to Tai, then to Garfield. "The last thing I wanted to start off Monday Night Massacre was a shouting match between you two. But. . .since the main event for Heatwave is almost settled. . .you both need to compete in the Summer Supershow in matches worthy of being main events themselves! First. . .Garfield. . .allow me to announce that your opponent at the Supershow will be quite a challenge. This man has only been a World Champion for a short time. . .but has already made his presence felt in UWE, and promises to do so much more in the industry! Garfield, at the XCW Summer Supershow. . .you will be competing in a one-on-one matchup against. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .not just a man, but. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION" AND UWE OMEGA CHAMPION. . .CHAOS THE HEDGEHOG!"

"WHAT?" Early screamed, as the crowd erupted into cheers!

"OH MY GOD!" exclaimed Shake! In utter disbelief, Garfield and Jon took a step back from Space Ghost, who then turned to face Tai.

"And as for you, Tai Kamiya. . .you say you have set the standard for how to be a true World Heavyweight Champion? You have proved it in XCW since winning our World title. But let's see how you do against a man who is not only a World Champion, but also the self-proclaimed. . .'BEST IN THE UNIVERSE!' Tai Kamiya, at the XCW Summer Supershow, you and the XCW Women's Champion, Sora Takenouchi will compete in an intergender tag team match against. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .THE CCW FEMALES AND MAGNUS CHAMPION. . .GWEN AND BEN TENNYSON!"

An excited smile formed on Tai's face as the crowd exploded into more cheers!

"But. . .the main event for Heatwave may be between you two for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .but there's still the matter of picking the stipulation. You two have fought each other in two of XCW's best matches in its early history, and through those, you two have come to know each other quite well. So the stipulation for your match at Heatwave will be decided later in a 'Pick Your Poison' match! You two each find a Superstar in the back, and they will face each other in tonight's main event. If Tai's pick wins the match, Tai chooses the stipulation! If Garfield's pick wins the match, Garfield picks the stipulation! What do you two think?"

Tai and Garfield nodded, each of them staring each other down.

"Then it's settled! Good luck to both of you tonight, and at the Summer Supershow!"

Space Ghost left the ring above the second rope, leaving Tai and Garfield in the ring staring each other down until the show went to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!"

"Wabbit" by Misshin played as Daffy Duck ran onto the stage.

"Introducing first. . .from New York City, New York. . .DAFFY DUCK!"

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, to say I am excited for the XCW Summer Supershow would be an understatement!" Early said while the crowd cheered as Daffy strode down the ramp and entered the ring.

"You got that right! Not only will Team 2D be guests on The Ed Factor, but Garfield goes one-on-one with a God, and Sora Takenouchi will team with her husband, Tai Kamiya to take on Ben and Gwen Tennyson in an intergender tag team match! I can't wait!" Shake said excitedly as Daffy raised a fist above his head saluting the fans.

"But right now, we're about to see Daffy Duck in singles competition against a man who has brought a lot of attention to XCW since his arrival. . .but for the wrong reasons." Early said, until. . .

. . .the arena became engulfed in blue light as "Sell Your Soul" by Hollywood Undead played! Spongebob stepped onto the stage glaring at the fans as he walked down the ramp to massive boos from the crowd.

"And his opponent. . .from Bikini Bottom. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

"Last week, after winning his first match in an XCW arena, Spongebob Squarepants told us all that he made his way to our company in order to avenge the folding of WWT, which he believes was solely our fault!" Early said, as Spongebob stepped into the ring above the second rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, glaring at the fans maliciously.

"And his first order of business was to render Tommy Vercetti useless!" Shake added. "But Tommy said to us later that night, that he won't back down, and challenged Spongebob to a Liberty City Street Fight at Heatwave! They'll fight all over Liberty City, and make their way to the XCW Arena, fight through the hallways, and into this ring, which will have barbed wire ropes!"

"But that depends, Shake, on whether or not Spongebob accepts Tommy's challenge! But Spongebob will give the Harwood Butcher an answer hear tonight, but right now, he's competing against another fellow legend in this business, Daffy Duck!"

The bell rang and the match began with Spongebob and Daffy staring each other down in the center of the ring before getting into a tie-up. Spongebob put Daffy in a waist-lock and nailed him in the back with a punch. Spongebob then lifted Daffy up for a back suplex, but Daffy dropped out of it and shoved Spongebob toward the ropes in front of him. On the bounceback, Daffy took down Spongebob with an arm drag, then locked him in an armbar!

"And Daffy Duck now with an early advantage on the most hated man in fiction wrestling!" Early said astonished.

"Don't forget, Early: Daffy Duck has had a career as storied as Spongebob's! He was the first ever UCA World Heavyweight Champion, the first UCA Triple Crown winner, and the second ever NWA World Champion!" informed Shake, as Spongebob rolled toward Daffy and surprised him with a left hand to the face, breaking the hold! Spongebob pulled Daffy up and hit him in the face with a punch combination. Spongebob then Irish whipped Daffy toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, took him down with a huge karate chop! Spongebob went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out!

Spongebob pulled Daffy up, only for Daffy to surprise Spongebob with an uppercut! Daffy then hit Spongebob with a punch combination of his own, and Irish whipped Spongebob toward the ropes. . .only for Spongebob to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! As Daffy bounced back, Spongebob hit him in the ribs with a kick, sending him flying onto the mat chest first! As Daffy pushed himself up to his feet, Spongebob knelt next to him and slapped him twice across the face, to massive boos from the crowd!

"Look at Spongebob, now!" Early cried. "Embarrassing a living legend!"

"Daffy may be a legend in this business, but since XCW's inception, he has yet to find his footing!" Shake said.

Spongebob pulled Daffy up to a standing position and slapped him across the chest with a chop, then Irish whipped him into a corner. Spongebob then ran toward the corner and landed a splash onto Daffy! Spongebob pulled Daffy to the center of the ring and went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out!

Spongebob pulled Daffy up to his feet, only for Daffy to surprise him with a kick to the midsection! Daffy then ran against the ropes to his right and on the bounceback, took Spongebob down with a bulldog! Daffy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spongebob kicked out! Daffy pulled Spongebob up and threw him face-first into a corner, then sat him on the top rope! Daffy then grabbed Spongebob by his sides and lifted him up for a super back suplex. . .only for Spongebob to fight out of it with a series of elbows, which sent Daffy falling down to the mat, landing with a crash! The crowd booed Spongebob as leapt off the top rope and landed a Diving Elbow onto Daffy! Spongebob went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out!

With the crowd chanting "SPONGEBOB SUCKS! SPONGEBOB SUCKS!", Spongebob pulled Daffy up by the head and slapped him in the chest with a series of karate chops! Spongebob then Irish whipped Daffy toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, caught him and took him down with a T-Bone suplex! Spongebob then turned around and stalked Daffy, taunting for him to get up. Daffy pulled himself up to his feet and turned around to face Spongebob, who lifted him up for the Tidal Wave. . .

. . .but Daffy fell out of it! Daffy then took Spongebob down with a reverse DDT! Both men were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count!

"Daffy found an opening, and now may have found himself back into this one-on-one matchup!" Early said, as Daffy sat up and brought himself up to his feet, with Spongebob pushing himself to a standing position soon afterwards. Daffy then caught Spongebob by the arms. . .turned him around for the Killswitch. . .

. . .but Spongebob countered out of it and shoved Daffy toward the ropes! On the bounceback, Spongebob caught Daffy, lifted him up. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE TIDAL WAVE! Spongebob covered Daffy, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

Spongebob sat up from the cover, scowling through the ropes at the fans in front of him as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

"And just like that, Spongebob Squarepants gets the victory!" Early said, as the boos continued to rain down from the crowd as the referee raised Spongebob's arm in victory. However, Spongebob pulled his arm out of the referee's grasp and got in the referee's face. As the referee left the ring, Spongebob pulled Daffy back up to his feet!

"Hold on, Early!" Shake cried. "Spongebob doesn't look to be done with Daffy just yet!"

Spongebob then grabbed Daffy by the waist, lifted him high above his head. . .and took him down with the Spongy Edge!

"BAH GAWD!" Early cried. "THIS IS UNNECESSARY! You won the damn match, Spongebob! Enough is enough!"

Spongebob then kicked Daffy under the bottom rope, sending him to fall face-first onto the ringside floor. Spongebob then received a microphone from the timekeeper and stepped back to the center of the ring.

"What you all just saw was not only a victory. . .but a statement." Spongebob said to the crowd, who viciously booed him. "I just defeated a man who once was a living legend. . .a current hall of famer. . .but is now a shell of his former self. And that's exactly what would happen if I faced Tommy Vercetti at Heatwave in a Liberty City Street Fight."

The crowd booed even louder and began to chant "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!"

"You see, when XCW began, the 'Harwood Butcher' Tommy Vercetti was a brutal brawler! A one-of-a-kind competitor! He was a man who fought with no reservations, fear, or mercy. . .until I arrived to XCW. As Tommy was about to leave the ring two weeks ago, he didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. . .he saw me bring the end of the tunnel TO HIM! And when I knocked him out cold with the Spongy Edge. . .I showed him that I had adapted to XCW's environment! Not only did I come here with no reservations, fear, or mercy just like he did, but I also proved that I, MYSELF, can be lethal with a weapon!"

"Tommy felt that the hard way, but it's the only time he will, and let me tell you why! Tommy can guarantee his return all he wants, but even if he does return and comes face-to-face with me, he won't last ten seconds! He'd be facing a living legend in this business that has adapted to the era of hardcore wrestling that he, himself, brought back to life! He will have lost the same number of steps that he has lost matches for the past two months! And he will have become exactly what Daffy Duck is right now. . .a shell of his former self."

"So Tommy wants an answer from me about his challenge for Heatwave? Well, thanks to me, his career ended before it could even begin. His time in the spotlight is up. If I fought against Tommy, I would put him out of his misery. So, sorry Tommy. . .but my answer is-"

Spongebob was suddenly interrupted when. . .

. . ."Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played! The crowd erupted into a standing ovation as down the ramp on an Angel motorcycle came none other than. . .

"TOMMY VERCETTI!" Early screamed. "RIGHT ON CUE, AND TO A STANDING OVATION, COMES THE HARWOOD BUTCHER, TOMMY VERCETTI!"

Tommy rode the bike around the ringside area, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp, with the bike's front facing the stage. Tommy stepped out of the car and pumped a fist in the air, saluting the crowd as he held a microphone with the other hand.

"Spongebob was about to reject him outright, but how surprised is he to see Tommy walking, driving. . .hell, he's just gotta be surprised to see him HERE right now!"

Tommy slid into the ring under the ropes and stepped to the center of the ring, coming face-to-face with Spongebob, whose mouth was open agape!

"What's the matter, Spongebob?" Tommy asked with a smirk. "Surprised to see me?"

Spongebob scowled back at Tommy as the crowd chanted "TOMMY! TOMMY! TOMMY!"

"I would be, too, especially after what I went through two weeks ago inside the Cell of Chaos. . .and what you did right after it. I was so wasted by the end of it, not even the painkillers that my doctor prescribed me could make me feel better. My head and body hurt so much, I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't sit up, hell, I couldn't even Tweet! But I'm here now, I'm healthy, and my hands are A-OK, and Spongebob, they want to do nothing more than knock you down to this mat and beat you to a bloody pulp!"

"Because you know what the most painful thing about my recovery was? The most painful thing about my recovery was being forced to hear crap come out of your mouth that was more annoying than your high-pitched laugh! In case you didn't hear it last week, allow me to tell you what I think about you and WWT to your face! WWT didn't die because XCW was hardcore! It didn't die because we beat it in the ratings week in and week out! WWT died simply because its star of its company turned its back on the organization and its fans! They got tired of being insulted by their former idol, so they jumped ship to XCW to watch guys like Bugs Bunny, Claude, and me! Because we come out to this ring every Monday night and hold absolutely nothing back against our opponents. We put our bodies on the line week in and week out, and became the idols of your former audience! That's why XCW is tied for first in the ratings, why I am a rising star in this company, and this business, and why you went back to the Krusty Krab for a few months!"

"And Spongebob, I may have fallen twice from 25 feet, I did break my tailbone and lose a lot of blood, and you may have knocked me out cold. But despite all that, I'm still standing here, and I'm gonna prove to you that I am as brutal as I was before when I beat down UWE's representative for the Be A Star Campaign! So why don't you want to fight me on the streets of my hometown, Liberty City, at Heatwave, SpongeCog? Are you afraid of having to drive without a license?"

Spongebob scowled at Tommy as he raised his microphone up to his mouth.

"Tommy. . .I don't want to fight you because you're already beaten. Between your injuries, your inability to back up what you say, and your two-month long losing streak, you don't stand a chance against me. I am more than just a cartoon character, I am an icon of today's animation! I have accomplished more in my wrestling career than you ever will, and I'm not even close to retirement! And now that I am a member of the XCW roster, I will only become more dangerous. With my hatred for whoever crosses me, I am as vicious with a weapon now than I ever was in WWT, and more than you ever will be in your career!"

Spongebob stared Tommy down maliciously as the crowd chanted "PROVE IT! PROVE IT! PROVE IT!"

"But you want to return to XCW? You want to stand back up from the beating I put you through? You want to try to fight me up and down the streets of Liberty City at Heatwave?"

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."YOU GOT IT! IT'S ON FOR HEATWAVE!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as a smirk appeared on Tommy's face.

"Because I'm going to finish what I started at Nightfire! I am gonna do more than knock you out. . .I am gonna beat you senseless. . .and at the XCW Arena in Liberty City. . .in front of all your fans, former bosses, and fellow hitmen. . .I am gonna end your career. . .and effectively end. . .YOUR LIFE!"

Spongebob lowered the microphone and stared down Tommy, who raised his microphone.

"Well then. . ." Tommy said slyly, ". . .might as well start now."

Tommy suddenly knocked Spongebob down with his microphone, with the crowd erupting into cheers!

"BAH GAWD!" cried Early. "Tommy doesn't want to wait until Heatwave to fight Spongebob!"

"He's been in a hospital bed for a week, Early!" Shake said. "He's been eager to fight since the Cell of Chaos!"

Spongebob, however, quickly stood up and drove Tommy toward the ropes, and pushed him over the ropes and out of the ring, down to the ringside floor! Spongebob then stepped onto the ring apron and down to the floor to grab Tommy by the hair. . .only for Tommy to slug Spongebob right in the face with a right hand of brass knuckles! Spongebob and Tommy traded right hands until multiple referees ran down the ramp and pulled them both apart!

"It is absolute chaos here at ringside right now!" Early yelled, as Tommy and Spongebob shouted obscenities and insults at each other.

"Just imagine what's gonna happen when these two are unleashed on the streets of Algonquin in Liberty City at Heatwave!" Shake exclaimed, as the referees continued to pull Tommy and Spongebob apart until the show went to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in between Mario and Peach with a microphone in hand.

"Peach, later on tonight, you will go one-on-one against Nazz with the number one contendership for the XCW Women's Championship on the line, but up next, Mario, you will go one-on-one against one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions, "The Enforcer" Eric Cartman. What would it mean for you two if you won both matches tonight?"

"Well, Carl. . ." Mario said, ". . it would mean that the South Park Four have learned their lesson, and that is not to cross one Mario brother-"

Peach suddenly grabbed onto Carl's arm and positioned his microphone up to her mouth.

"It would mean SO MUCH, Carl! Because it brings me one step closer to wearing gold around my waist once again! Sora may have gotten lucky at Nightfire, and she and Tai may have gotten lucky against us last week, but nobody steals from royalty and gets away with it! Nazz will suffer for Sora's crime against me first, and then, at Heatwave, not only will I take back MY XCW Women's Championship, but I will make sure Sora never steals from me EVER AGAIN-"

Mario sharply pulls the microphone back up to his mouth with one arm, and pushes Peach away with the other.

"Peach, darling, please-a calm down!" insisted Mario. "Please forgive my wife. Before she lost the Women's title, she slept with it, polished it every day, and wore it around her waist every time she went out. Now, she's-a gone a little crazy without it. Crazier than I can stand. . .she may need-a therapy. . .but that's beside the point! The point is that after tonight, Peach and I will be one step closer to regaining our footing since Nightfire, and the South Park Four will have learned not to mess with one Mario brother. Because when you do. . .you have to look out for the other one. . .and in this case. . .it's-a me. . .MARIO!"

Mario dashed out of the frame as the show went to a commercial break.

As Massacre returned from break, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!"

"What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played to massive boos from the crowd. Eric Cartman walked onto the ramp with Stan Marsh right behind him.

"Introducing first. . .representing the South Park Four. . .being accompanied to the ring by Stan Marsh. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .he is one half of the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .he is 'The Enforcer'. . .ERIC CARTMAN!"

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and up next, we've got a one-on-one match between two icons, Mario, a video game icon, while Eric Cartman is an icon of adult animation!" Early said, as Cartman and Stan ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising the belts toward the fans, who only booed back at them.

"From what Mario has said about these guys tonight and last week, he can't wait to get his hands on The Enforcer!" Shake said. "And quite frankly, I don't blame him!"

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played, with pyro exploding in unison to the first notes of the song! With Luigi behind him, Mario then walked onto the stage and posed to a mixed reaction.

"And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Luigi. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .MARIO!"

"Because almost a month ago, Stan Marsh and the South Park Four beat the crap out of Mario's brother Luigi, and that resulted in Kenny McCormick regaining the Hardcore title!" Shake informed, as Mario ran down the ramp and climbed onto a turnbuckle, raising a peace sign toward the crowd.

"And just last week, Stan, Eric Cartman, and Kyle Broflovski beat down Luigi again to avenge the death of their friend, Kenny McCormick, which they thought Luigi was responsible for!" Early added. "However, the Bad Boys of Comedy Central were mistaken, and now Mario looks to punish 'The Enforcer' for that mistake right now!"

The bell rang and the match began with Mario charging toward Cartman and putting him in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Mario then drove Cartman toward the ropes and put him in a headlock on the bounceback. . .only for Cartman to shove Mario off him and toward the ropes in front of them! Mario bounced off the ropes and was immediately met with a kick to the ribs from Cartman that flipped him down to the mat face-up! Cartman then ran against the ropes behind him and went for a falling elbow, but Mario rolled out of the way, sending Cartman to hit the canvas! Mario then landed a series of kicks to Cartman's chest before going for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Cartman kicked out!

Mario pulled Cartman up to his feet and slapped him in the chest with a thunderous chop! Mario continued to hit Cartman with chop after chop until he was backed into a corner. Mario then went for a shoulder thrust. . .only for Cartman to surprise Mario with a knee to the face! Cartman then Irish whipped Mario toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, took him down with a Lou Thesz Press, and hammered away at Mario's face with furious right and left hands. Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!

"The Champion of Life and the Big-Boned Boy of South Park aren't holding anything back in this one-on-one matchup!" Early declared, as Cartman pulled Mario up by the overalls and threw him above the second rope, out of the ring and down to the concrete floor! Mario pushed himself up to his knees, selling his face from the fall. . .until Cartman stepped onto the ring apron and took down the Champion of Life with a diving double axe handle! Both men were down on the ringside floor as the referee began the ten count!

Cartman was the first to stir, then he pulled himself up to one knee before pulling Mario back up by the overalls and throwing him into the steel steps, with Mario hitting them chest and face first with a sickening thud! Cartman then stood over Mario and pulled him back up, only to ram his face into the ring apron in front of him! The referee's count is up to four at this point. Cartman then pulled Mario up by the hair and went to slam his face against the apron again. . .only for Mario to elbow out of Cartman's grasp and take him down with a Russian Leg Sweep on the floor! Mario then sat up and got to his feet, sliding into the ring before the referee's count reached seven, with Luigi cheering him on from one side of the ring while Stan ran over to Cartman and pulled him up to his feet. After shaking himself back to reality, Cartman slid into the ring and ran toward Mario, who took him down with Flying Headscissors! Mario went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Cartman kicked out!

Mario then grabbed onto Cartman's legs and went to lock him into the Boston Crab. . .but Cartman kicked Mario toward the ropes! Mario bounced back. . .

. . .and was immediately taken down by a spinebuster from Cartman! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2 . . .Mario kicked out! Cartman rolled off the cover to catch his breath as the referee began the ten count!

"Mario is a multiple time World Heavyweight Champion. . .Cartman is a former WWT National Champion and multiple time Tag Team Champion. . .who will gain the advantage in this battle of icons?" Early wondered, as Mario and Cartman rolled toward opposite sides of the ring and pulled themselves up with the ropes as Luigi and Stan cheered them on!

"This has been a great match so far, Early!" Shake said in excitement. "I've got to think the winner of this match will be the one to hit the first punch!"

Mario and Cartman made it to their feet and charged toward each other in the center of the ring, each of them trading right hands, with the crowd cheering "YAY!" in unison with Mario's punches, and "BOOO!" in unison with Cartman's punches! They continued punching each other in the face until Mario surprised Cartman with a left hand! Mario then hit Cartman with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping him across the ring. . .catching his arm. . .and took him down with a suplex! Keeping his grip on Cartman, Mario pulled him back up over his head. . .and took him down with ANOTHER suplex! Mario lifted Cartman up once more for the final rolling suplex. . .

. . .but Cartman dropped out of it and took Mario down with a neckbreaker! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 MARIO KICKED OUT! Cartman punched the mat repeatedly in frustration! Cartman then stood up to his feet and taunted for Mario to get up. Mario staggered up to his feet and turned around to face Cartman, who kicked him in the midsection, turned around for the South Park Stunner. . .

. . .but Mario caught Cartman's leg in time! Mario whipped Cartman around to face his back, then took him down with a trio of German suplexes, the last one ending with a pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CARTMAN KICKED OUT! Mario looked up at the referee, raising three fingers pleading for a three count, but the referee insisted the count was only two. Mario then strode toward the top rope!

"The legendary Mario now looking to put away South Park's Enforcer with the Super Mario Splash!" called Early, as Mario reached the top rope, raising a peace sign toward the fans. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH! Mario sold his abdomen as he crawled in for the cover. . .

. . .BUT THE REFEREE'S ATTENTION WAS TURNED TOWARD STAN, WHO WAS STANDING ON THE RING APRON!

"WAIT A MINUTE! THE LEADER OF THE SOUTH PARK FOUR IS DISTRACTING THE REFEREE!" Shake exclaimed, until Mario got off of Cartman and yelled for the referee's attention!

"Mario had this match won! You could've went to eleven and he still would've won!" Early cried, as the referee looked back at Mario. Mario then turned around. . .

. . .AND WAS MET WITH A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION BY CARTMAN! Cartman turned around for the South Park Stunner. . .

. . .but Mario quickly shoved him toward the ropes! After Cartman bounced back, Mario caught his legs, swept them out from under him. . .

. . .AND LOCKED HIM IN THE BOSTON CRAB! Cartman screamed in agonizing pain as Mario applied more pressure onto Cartman's back with his knee!

"And The Champion of Life may finally have the more famous half of the South Park Four right where he wants him!" Early cried, as the referee knelt down and asked Cartman if he wanted to quit. Cartman shook his head no as he crawled toward the ropes! Cartman wormed toward the ropes. . .

. . .only for Mario to pull Cartman into the center of the ring, with the Boston Crab still in tact!

"Stan's attempt to swing momentum into the South Park Four's favor was futile!" Shake said. "Mario wanted to teach Cartman a lesson, and he's doing it right now—"

Cartman raised his hand up above the mat while Mario pressed his knee against his back. . .

. . .yelled "TAP OUT!" from the top of his lungs. . .

. . .UNTIL STAN MARSH RAN INTO THE RING AND CLOCKED MARIO IN THE FACE WITH A STEEL CHAIR!

"NO! DAMN IT!" Early yelled in disgust! "THE REFEREE HAS TO CALL FOR THE DISQUALIFICATION!"

Stan stared down Mario with a sly smirk on his face as the bell rang!

"Mario had the match won not once, but twice!" Shake said. "But Stan Marsh wouldn't allow it!"

Cartman then rolled out of the ring to collect himself by the ring apron as Luigi charged into the ring toward Stan! Stan then raised the chair once more. . .

. . .AND HIT LUIGI SQUARE IN THE FACE WITH IT! Cartman then rolled back into the ring with a steel chair in hand, and wailed away on Luigi's prone body with it!

"Mario was about to teach the XCW Tag Team Champions a lesson they wouldn't soon forget, but now the tables have turned, and the South Park Four are having their way with this team of legendary brothers!" Early screamed.

"My God! Somebody stop this!" Shake cried, until down the ramp came. . .

"Wait a minute! HERE COMES D-GENERATION ED!" Early screamed. "They've been on the receiving end of many chair shots from the South Park Four, and they don't want the Mario Brothers to go through the same fate!"

Ed and Eddy slid into the ring and began to brawl with Stan and Cartman, while Edd helped Luigi up. However, in the suddenness of the moment, Luigi nailed Edd with a right hand, and the two began brawling with each other as Kyle Broflovski ran down the ramp, sliding into the ring to begin a fistfight with Mario!

"BAH GAWD! IT IS ABSOLUTE ANARCHY IN THE RING RIGHT NOW!" screamed Early.

"D-Ed and the Mario Brothers have a problem with the South Park Four. . .but now Luigi and the Sockhead Double D are really going at it! Somebody stop this chaos between these three teams!"

Ed then Irish whipped Stan against the ropes, put him on his shoulders after the bounceback for the Eledrifier. . .but Stan dropped out of it! Stan then turned Ed around and took him down with the South Park Stunner! Mario then grabbed Stan by the arm, whipped him around to face him and slugged him with an uppercut. . .only for Cartman to take him down with a South Park Stunner of his own! Suddenly, Luigi Irish whipped Edd into Cartman, taking them both down! All the brawls in the ring continued until. . .

"ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN! THAT IS ENOUGH!"

. . .Space Ghost appeared on the titantron in his office! The Eds, the South Park Four and the Mario brothers all stopped in their tracks and looked up at the titantron, catching their breath.

"There's no doubt in my mind that you three teams are a few of the greatest tag teams not only in XCW, but in all of fiction wrestling! But if there's one thing I've noticed since returning as Commissioner of XCW, its that the tensions between you three have escalated to unprecedented levels! And after what I have just witnessed, I am putting my foot down. Stan and Cartman, you want to defend your Tag Team Championships with steel chairs? Mario and Luigi, you want to bring yourselves back into the XCW spotlight? And D-Ed, you want to regain the XCW Tag Team Championships, and run around with the belts like the degenerates you have proven yourselves to be?"

Everyone in the ring nodded their heads, puzzled by what Space Ghost has said.

"Well, here's what's going to happen. At Heatwave. . .there will be an XCW Tag Team Championship matchup. But not just any ordinary tag team championship matchup, no. . .this XCW Tag Team Championship matchup will involve. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .TABLES. . .LADDERS. . .AND CHAIRS!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as the Eds, the South Park Four, and the Mario Brothers look around at each other in shock!

"WHAT? OH MY GOD!" yelled Early!

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Shake screamed in disbelief!

"That's right, for the first time in XCW history, the XCW Tag Team Championship will be defended in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match! It will be the Mario Brothers versus D-Generation Ed. . .versus Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman of the South Park Four! Good luck to all of you!"

"Space Ghost wasn't kidding when he said Heatwave would be extreme!" Early said. "Tai and Garfield are going to fight for the World Heavyweight Championship with the stipulation to be decided tonight, there's a Liberty City Street Fight between Tommy and Spongebob, and now, the XCW Tag Team titles will be hanging twenty feet high above the ring, and will be defended in a Tables Ladders and Chairs match!" informed Early.

Space Ghost smirked at everyone in the ring, who was still flabbergasted by Space Ghost's announcement!

"My God. . .D-Generation Ed, the South Park Four, and now the Mario Brothers. . .these three teams hate each other enough already, I can only imagine what they'll do to each other in a TLC match, the first ever match in XCW's history!" Shake said before the show went to the backstage area, where Rolf stood next to Carl Brutanandilewski, who had a microphone in hand.

"Rolf," Carl said, ". . .as you just heard, two members of D-Generation Ed will be taking part in XCW's first-ever Tables Ladders and Chairs match, where the XCW Tag Team Championship will be put on the line! As the Hardcore Champion, what will it mean to you if the Eds reclaim the tag team titles for themselves?"

"Oh, Rolf is even more excited for Heatwave now, even moreso than the Old Country's Celebration of the Guardian Pigeon! When we won a tables match earlier this year, buried South Park's coat-wearing oaf last week, and me as the Hardcore Champion, we proved our mastery of weapons! There will be no stopping us in our quest to regain the holy grail that is the XCW Tag-"

Suddenly, Kenny ran up to Rolf from behind and rammed him in the back with a stop sign, bringing Rolf down to his knees!

"WAIT A MINUTE! IT'S KENNY MCCORMICK BACK FROM THE DEAD!" Early screamed, as Kenny raised the stop sign high above his head. . .

. . .but Rolf got up in time to tackle Kenny against the wall, knocking the stop sign out of his hands! Kenny, however, nailed Rolf in the face with a right hand and shoved him face first into the opposite wall!

"Kenny died at the hands of Rolf and D-Ed two nights in a row last week!" Shake said. "And he's risen from the grave looking for nothing but payback and the XCW Hardcore title!"

Kenny then picked the stop sign up and thrust it into Rolf's ribs! Kenny then dropped the sign. . .put Rolf in a headlock. . .

. . .BUT ROLF PICKED KENNY UP AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A DOUBLE ARM HOOKED SUPLEX ON THE STOP SIGN! Rolf then ran down the hallway further away from Kenny, who sold his head in pain as he stumbled up to his feet.

"MMMPHH MPPPH!" Kenny muffled loudly before running after Rolf!

"My God!" Shake cried. "We've seen a brawl break out between Spongebob and Tommy, chaos between three tag teams, and now Kenny and Rolf are going at it in the back for the Hardcore title yet again! If there's a theme for tonight, it's gotta be absolute chaos!"

"You're absolutely right, Shake! What else is gonna happen tonight?" Early wondered before the show went to a commercial break.

Alrighty, there's part one. As always, let me know if there are any character inconsistencies, or if I went a little overboard with anything. Part two will come soon, until then, READ AND REVIEW!


	32. XCW Massacre: June Week 2 Part 2

Hey fans! Sorry for the delay, between wrapping the first season of the webseries I work on, getting future projects lined up, and being generally busy, life has needed me. But without further ado, I give you part two of this episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre! I only own my championships.

As Massacre returned from break, Garfield and Jon Arbuckle were scheming as they strode down a hallway.

"Now just imagine it, Garfield. Imagine you and that urchin Tai Kamiya encased inside the Cell of Chaos at Heatwave! Tai doesn't have the endurance and toughness of Tommy Vercetti! There's no way he can survive a twenty-five foot fall!"

Garfield continued to stomp down the hallway, ignoring his manager.

"Okay, umm…how about the Kennel from Hell? A Triple Cage match? Hell, what about a Gas Chamber match? The possibilities of destruction are endless!" Jon said, until Hotsuma came up to them and stood next to them.

"Hello, Arbuckle." Hotsuma said, as Garfield and Jon stopped in their tracks, their heads snapping forward to face the former Oboro Clan leader.

"Oh, well look who it is." Jon said mockingly. "It's Hotsuma. The man who has accomplished a lot in his already young career! Including main eventing in the first episode of XCW Massacre. . .being in the Rookie Revolution for only a mere month. . .and. . .ummmmmm….."

"Just shut the hell up, Arbuckle!" snapped Hotsuma. "I haven't accomplished enough in this business simply because the man in charge is too ignorant to think I have potential. But I want to show him, and all the people that doubt me in the stands tonight, what I am fully capable of, by being your pick for the main event tonight!"

"Keep dreaming, Hotsuma!" Jon said. "What makes you think you're worthy enough of being Garfield's pick?"

"Do you even remember my efforts in the first XCW World title match? Of course you don't, because you were knocked out cold by a damn rabbit! But if you have seen my few fights since that match, you'd notice that I am as angry a man as you are. And I have been holding my anger back over losing my membership of the Rookie Revolution for far too long. . .and if you let me unleash it tonight, you won't regret it. . .but Kamiya's pick will!"

Jon looked up at Garfield, who nodded slightly. Jon looked back at Hotsuma with a smirk.

"Alright. You want in the main event tonight? You got it! BUT. . .if you lose this for us, and Tai goes on to keep the World Heavyweight Championship. . .Garfield will make YOU regret your idea to come up to us in the first place!"

Hotsuma only gave a cold, blank stare to Jon and Garfield, who sneered back as they walked past him until the show went back to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the Number One Contendership for the XCW Women's Championship!"

"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine played as Sora Takenouchi ran onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, raising the XCW Women's title belt above her head.

"Introducing on commentary. . .she is the XCW Women's Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, we are back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Early, I think I have witnessed a decision worse than McCain's pick for his VP candidate!"

Sora high-fived fans while striding down the ringside floor toward the announcer's table.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, Shake!" Early said. "We haven't seen much of Hotsuma, but when we have, he has proven himself to be a punishing force in the ring! And his losing membership of the Rookie Revolution may have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Here's hoping Tai finds an equally tough opponent."

"And we're about to find out if his wife will have a tough opponent at Heatwave! Because we are joined now by the XCW Women's Champion, Sora Takenouchi on commentary for this next match!" Early said, welcoming Sora, as she put on a set of headphones and sat next to Shake. "Sora, how are you and how do you feel about Space Ghost's announcements regarding the XCW Summer Supershow?"

"I am excited beyond belief!" Sora exclaimed. "Last week, Tai and I proved that we are the power couple of XCW, and next week, we will prove to the world that we are the power couple in all of fiction wrestling!"

"It will be a great matchup, and so will be our next match, which will have the number one contendership for the XCW Women's Championship on the line!" Early said, before. . .

"T&A" by Jim Johnston played! Nazz strutted onto the entranceway and posed to cheers from the crowd.

"Introducing first. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .she is 'The Assistant With Assets". . .NAZZ!"

"Two weeks ago, Sora, you faced Nazz in a triple threat match that ended with you emerging victorious! But you and Nazz had a few brief encounters in that match; what was it like competing against the Assistant With Assets, and another iconic Women's Champion in this industry?"

The crowd cheered even more as Nazz climbed up a corner turnbuckle and did the DX crotch chop toward Sora.

"She's a tough girl, no question about it." answered Sora, looking up at Nazz. "It will be a dream match come to life if we face each other one-on-one at Heatwave, and if it does come to life, we will find out who's the best between us!"

"Brackish" by Kittie played, with Peach strutting down the ramp to a chorus of boos.

"And her opponent. . .from The Mushroom Kingdom. . .PRINCESS PEACH!"

"Meanwhile, Peach was on the losing end of that triple threat match, and tonight, the former Women's Champion is looking to get her rematch for the title, by any means necessary!" Early said, as Peach climbed onto a top turnbuckle, staring Sora down maliciously.

"Peach doesn't know when to quit." Sora commented. "But if she doesn't want to learn how to live without the Women's Championship, I would love to be the one to teach her!"

Peach stepped off the turnbuckle and turned around to face Nazz as the bell rang and the match began. Nazz charged toward Peach and drove her right into the corner, hammering away at her face with quick right hands, until Peach hit her in the face with an elbow, knocking her back. Peach then ran toward Nazz and took her down with a tackle, then wailed onto her face with vicious slaps! Peach continued to hit Nazz until she spun Peach onto her back and hit her with more quick right hands! Nazz then stood over Peach. . .only to land onto her with a leg drop! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .2 . . .Peach kicked out! Nazz pulled Peach up by the hair and went for a snapmare only for Peach to ram an elbow into her stomach! Peach then faced Nazz and took her down with a snapmare of her own, then whacked her with a kick across the back! Peach went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!

Peach pulled Nazz up by the hair and went for a right hand. . .but Nazz caught it in time and surprised Peach in the abdomen with a judo kick that knocked her toward the ropes. As Peach bounced back, Nazz leapt up and took her down with a dropkick! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out! Nazz pulled Peach up to her feet and Irish whipped her into a corner. . .only for Peach to counter it with an Irish whip of her own! Peach ran behind Nazz, who ran toward the corner face-first. . .but Nazz latched onto the ropes in front of her and pulled herself up, sending Peach to hit the corner under her face-first! Nazz then dropped back down to the mat feet first, and grabbing a fistful of hair, slammed Peach's face right into the top turnbuckle! With a firm grip on her hair, Nazz repeatedly slammed Peach face-first into the top turnbuckle, with the crowd counting in unison with each hit!

"D-Ed's Assistant With Assets is fighting like a house of fire on the former XCW Women's Champion right now!" Early said, as Peach collapsed onto the mat face-up.

"And she may have her pinned here! Nazz is going to face Sora at Heatwave!" Shake declared as Nazz went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out! Nazz pulled Peach back up by the hair and Irish whipped her toward the ropes. On the bounceback, Nazz went for an elbow to the face, but Peach spun out of the way and took her down with a swinging neckbreaker! Peach then stood up and planted Nazz with a falling elbow! Peach went for the quick cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out! Peach then grabbed Nazz's legs and swept them out from under her, attempting to lock her in the Boston Crab submission hold. . .but Nazz kept herself on her back! Annoyed, Peach looked down at Nazz. . .

. . .and slingshot her into the corner behind her face-first! Nazz stumbled out of the corner selling her jaw. . .until Peach took her down with a reverse DDT! Peach then went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 NAZZ KICKED OUT! Peach rolled off Nazz and onto her back in frustration as the referee began the ten count!

"Peach and Nazz are down! Who's gonna go on to face Sora Takenouchi for the XCW Women's Championship at Heatwave?" Early wondered, as Peach slowly sat up to her feet!

"This match has been a very competitive contest. . .who do you want to face at Heatwave, Sora?" Shake asked.

"I've fought Peach so many times, I've come to know her like the back of my hand, while a match with Nazz would be a dream match come to life." answered Sora. "But it doesn't matter who I face, because I fought hard to regain the Women's Championship, and no matter what the stipulation is at Heatwave, I'm only going to fight harder!"

Peach staggered up to her feet and pulled Nazz up by the hair before slugging her in the face with a right hand. Peach then hit a punch combination onto the Assistant With Assets before Irish whipping her across the ring. As she bounced off the ropes on the other side of the ring, Peach went for a Jawbreaker. . .but Nazz countered it into a DDT! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 PEACH KICKED OUT! Nazz couldn't believe it!

"How close were we to getting that dream match, Shake?" Early asked.

"Super close!" Shake responded. "With that, Nazz may have regained the upper hand in this number one contenders matchup!"

Nazz then pulled Peach up to her knees with a fistful of hair. . .before Irish whipping her toward the ropes. . .

. . .and on the bounceback, flipping her into the corner with a Monkey Flip! Peach stumbled out of the corner. . .but then staggered back. . .and fell back into the corner in a seated position! Nazz then raised a hand in the air as the crowd erupted into cheers of anticipation before she ran toward the opposite corner!

"Sora, you almost felt the impact of Nazz's next move at Nightfire. . .how glad are you to not be Peach right now?" Early asked, as Nazz ran toward Peach. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE BRONCO BUSTER! NAZZ BOUNCED OFF PEACH REPEATEDLY AS THE CROWD CHEERED!

"I am SO glad to be sitting here right now, Early." Sora responded. "I can already tell you it's more fun to see that move instead of be on the receiving end!"

"Unless you're a desperate guy!" Shake said, to stares from Early and Sora. "What?"

Meanwhile, Nazz pulled Peach by the legs to the center of the ring and went for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 PEACH KICKED OUT! Disappointed, Nazz rolled off Peach and pushed herself up, looked down at her and did the D-X crotch chop!

"At any rate, Nazz is signaling that the end is near for Peach and her quest to regain the XCW Women's Championship!" Early said, as Nazz put Peach in a headlock before pulling her up to her feet. Nazz then ran toward the ropes. . .

. . .bounced off of them, legs first. . .

. . .BUT PEACH GRABBED ONTO NAZZ'S BACK AND TOOK HER DOWN WITH A BACK SUPLEX!

"NO! PEACH COUNTERED ALL THAT NAZZ!" Early cried, as Peach crawled toward a corner! Peach pushed herself up with the ropes, climbed up to the top rope. . .

. . .and heard a steel chair shot?

"Wait a minute!" Sora exclaimed, as onto the stage with weapons in hand and a referee behind them came. . .

"BAH GAWD IT'S KENNY AND ROLF!" Early screamed. "They're taking their fight for the Hardcore title back to the arena once again!"

"But Peach is still going for a cover!" Shake said, as Peach leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .and landed the Peach Press onto Nazz! Peach went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And Peach is going to Heatwave!" exclaimed Early. Peach rolled off Nazz and stood up as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .PRINCESS PEACH!"

Peach strode toward the corner closest to the announcers table and stood on the second rope. She began to yell obscenities at Sora while Rolf and Kenny continued to brawl, fighting their way down the ramp!

"Sadly, Sora, the dream match between you and Nazz is still a dream for now, because at Heatwave, you will be defending the XCW Women's Championship against Princess Peach once again!" Early declared, as Sora just scowled up at Peach as she stood up to her feet, taking off her headphones.

"Meanwhile, Kenny and Rolf are taking their feud all over this arena once again!" Shake said, as the referee left the ring and ran up the ramp! "And the referee is looking to restore order out here!"

The referee ran toward Rolf and Kenny's fight. . .

. . .ONLY TO BE HIT IN THE FACE WITH A STOP SIGN BY KENNY! Rolf then grabbed onto Kenny by the back of his coat and threw him chest first down the ramp, into the ring apron! As Rolf slammed Kenny's face repeatedly into the ring apron, Peach continued to scream "YOU'RE NOT THE MODEL CHAMPION! I AM THE MODEL CHAMPION! COME HEATWAVE, I WILL WEAR MY TITLE AGAIN!" at Sora, who climbed onto the ring apron closest to Peach! Peach then dropped off the corner and met Sora as she entered the ring, and dropped her with a Lou Thesz Press! Peach and Sora got into a catfight on the right side of the ring, while Rolf slid Kenny into the ring under the bottom rope.

"And chaos has once again broken out in the ring tonight on Monday Night Massacre!" Early declared.

"We've got the 24/7 rule for the Hardcore title in effect on one side of the ring, and a catfight on the other side! I don't know what's more exciting!" Shake exclaimed, Rolf entered the ring behind him and extended his right arm out, taunting for Kenny to get up! Meanwhile, Sora rolled Peach onto her back and slugged her repeatedly with a series of right hands!

"Sora and Peach's rivalry dates back to the inception of XCW!" Early informed. "But tonight, it's exploded into new heights!"

"The same can be said for Kenny and Rolf, Early!" Shake said. "They've exchanged the XCW Hardcore title, ambushed and killed each other too many times to count!"

Kenny slowly stumbled up to his feet and turned around. . .

. . .Rolf charged at him with the Clothesline From The Old Country. . .

. . .BUT KENNY DUCKED! Kenny took Rolf down with a drop toe hold, which sent Rolf face and arms first onto the second rope! As Kenny ran against the ropes on the other side of the ring, Sora pulled Peach up to her feet with a fistful of hair and Irish whipped her toward the ropes! Meanwhile, Kenny ran toward Rolf. . .

. . .AND NAILED HIM WITH THE 303! Instead of leaping onto the ropes, however, Kenny let go of the ropes, landing on his feet to the ringside floor. Meanwhile, as Peach bounced back, Sora took her down with a Monkey Flip! Back outside the ring, Kenny pulled out a steel chair from under the ring. . .

. . .climbed onto the ring apron. . .leapt onto the ropes sitting on the chair. . .

. . .AND LANDED A DIVING LEG DROP ONTO THE CHAIR, CRUSHING ROLF RIGHT UNDER IT! Kenny sold his lower body in pain as he crawled in for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

Kenny rose up and collected the Hardcore title belt from the referee who raised his arm in victory.

"Here is the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .KENNY MCCORMICK!"

"And just like that, Kenny McCormick is the XCW Hardcore Champion again!" Early said as Peach looked on. . .as if a light bulb went off above her head.

"It looks like the war for the Hardcore title between these two men will never end. . but what does Peach have on her mind right now?" Shake wondered, as Kenny turned around. . .to see Rolf struggling to push himself up to his feet! Kenny then darted toward the opposite side of the ring, sliding under the ropes before escaping through the crowd! Selling his abdomen, Rolf stumbled out of the ring and climbed into the crowd after him, leaving Sora and Peach with the steel chair on the mat further away from both of them.

Sora ran toward Peach, pulling her up by the hair. . .BUT PEACH HIT SORA BETWEEN THE LEGS WITH A LOW BLOW!

"Whatever it is. . .I reckon it ain't kosher!" Early declared, as Sora crumbled to her knees. With a smile on her face, Peach stepped toward the steel chair. . .and picked it up!

"What the—" was all Shake could say as Peach raised the chair high above her head. . .

. . .AND HIT SORA IN THE HEAD WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!

"BAH GAWD!" Early cried. "PEACH HAS ABSOLUTELY LOST IT!"

The crowd erupted into boos as Peach hit Sora in the chest two more times with the chair, then laid it on top of her. Peach stared her down with an incensed look until she ran toward the ropes. . .

. . .AND LANDED A LEG DROP ONTO THE CHAIR, CRUSHING SORA'S BODY WITH IT!

"Peach is rendering Sora useless two weeks before Heatwave! Peach has cracked!" declared Early, as Peach looked down with a sick smirk on her face at Sora, who was selling her chest and head.

"That was absolutely brutal, especially for a woman!" Shake said while Peach slid out of the ring. "And now I think we're gonna hear more from the former Women's Champion!"

Peach grabbed a microphone from ringside and entered the ring under the bottom rope.

"Well, look at you now, SORA!" Peach yelled in the microphone, to boos from the crowd. "You're in a lot of pain now, aren't you? Well, when you steal from royalty, you PAY THE PRICE!"

Sora rolled onto her chest, still clenching her abdomen, but looking up at Peach with an incensed look of rage.

"But trust me, Sora, this is just the beginning. . .because at Heatwave, I will become the XCW Women's Champion again. You won't be able to prove your worth in our match. . .because the pain you feel now will be worse by the end of Heatwave. Because I always get what I want. . .and I want to face you in a match with no rules. . .no disqualifications. . .and most of all. . .no mercy! Sora, I want you for the XCW Women's Championship at Heatwave. . .IN A HARDCORE MATCH!"

The crowd erupted into gasps of shock as Sora finally came to a standing position.

"WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?"

Still clenching her abdomen, Sora tore the microphone out of Peach's hand and put it up to her mouth.

"I say. . .that I will prove to you that I am the best women's wrestler in this business. I say. . .that our score will be settled once and for all. I say. . .that I will finally shut you up, and beat you under the most dangerous of circumstances, like any Women's Champion should. . .I say, Peach. . .that at Heatwave. . .

. . .YOU'RE ON!"

Sora's arm fell to her side as she dropped the microphone. She and Peach stared each other down until the show went to a commercial break.

As Massacre returned from break, the show went to the backstage area, where Tai stormed down a hallway until. . .

"You okay, Doc?"

. . .he turned around to see Bugs Bunny up against a vending machine!

"Your wife just took a beating out there thanks to Peach, and she's got a Hardcore match at Heatwave, so if you need to vent to somebody—"

"No, Bugs." Tai answered sternly. "Peach and Sora have been going at it since day one of this company, and everything between them will be put to rest at Heatwave. What happens between the two of them in that match is their business, and my wife is tough enough to fight under those circumstances. But right now, I'm concerned about my business. Bugs, you've fought a lot of fights in your career, and have faced Hotsuma before. With your experience and success in this business, and the fact that you still owe me one, I'm gonna ask you right now: would you like to represent me in the main event tonight?"

Tai extends his hand toward Bugs. A wide smile forms on the face of the Animation Icon as he grabs onto his hand for a handshake.

"I thought you'd never ask, Doc!" Bugs said excitedly. "I'll give Hotsuma what for!"

"Thanks, Bugs. See you out there!" Tai said in excited relief before the show went to the ringside area, where Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table.

"Looks like Bugs Bunny will finally return Tai's favor from February!" Shake said.

"You're absolutely right, Shake, and with that, ladies and gentlemen, the main event for tonight is officially set! Bugs Bunny will go one-on-one against Hotsuma in a Pick Your Poison match, Bugs representing the XCW World Champion, Tai Kamiya, and Hotsuma representing Garfield!" informed Early.

"And whoever wins the match will give either Tai or Garfield the right to choose the stipulation for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship match at Heatwave!" Shake informed. "But I have a feeling that no matter what the stipulation is, that another match between those two rivals will be as exciting as their last encounter!"

"I have that feeling, too, Shake!" Early said in agreement. "And I also feel that next week's Monday Night Massacre will be exciting as well, because we will be in Quahog, Rhode Island hosting the XCW Summer Supershow! Let's take a look at what we have in store for next week's epic event!"

"We will have a special edition of The Ed Factor, hosted by D-Generation Ed. . .with their special guests, Tom and Jerry. . .TEAM 2D!" Early informed.

"Non-Stop Violence makes its way to XCW!" Shake said. "What will happen when the UWE Duos Champions and XCW's degenerates meet in the same ring?"

"Also, just announced: the new XCW Hardcore Champion, Kenny McCormick, will defend the XCW Hardcore Championship in a six-way match against Guntep Min of PCUW. . .Dan Kuso of CCW. . .Crash Bandicoot of UCA. . .Deadpool from WWE: Animated, and from UWE, "The Hellview Devil", Charlie Araya!"

"All of these men have proven to be experts in Hardcore matches, but with the 24/7 rule always in effect, I've got a feeling this match won't end inside the ring!" Shake commented.

"But you will also see Claude Speed defend the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship against Francis!"

"The bully from Dimmsdale takes on Liberty City's Lucifer! Will the Toon Hardcore title return to WWE: Animated, or will Claude Speed continue to assert his hardcore dominance on his road to Wrestlemania?" wondered Shake.

"There will also be a six-man tag team match teaming up Asheel Din from PCUW with TD Kennelly of WWE: Animated. . .and Senji Kiyomasa of UCA against Majin Buu of UWE and Mario and Luigi!"

"A cast of characters in one epic tag team match. . .will everybody coexist?" Shake asked.

"Also, I'm getting word that during the commercial break, Spongebob Squarepants went to see Commissioner Space Ghost and said he wanted to prove himself against one of this industry's top talents as a member of the XCW roster, and next week he will do just that, when he issues an open challenge to a one-on-one match against any man on any of the rosters of the six companies in attendance!"

The crowd booed upon mention of Spongebob.

"He wanted to be on the card, and now he's on it!" Shake said. "But who will step up to the plate against the most hated man in all of fiction wrestling?"

"But we will see his opponent at Heatwave, "The Harwood Butcher" Tommy Vercetti, go one on one against "UWE's Worst Nightmare" Thomas Ambrose. . .in a NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH!"

The crowd erupted into chants of "TOMMY! TOMMY! TOMMY!"

"These two have a lot in common, from their first names, to their in-ring brutality and endurance. . .this has the potential to not be a match, but a FIGHT!" Shake said.

"You will also see an all-female tag team match teaming up UWE's Asui Hikaru and XCW's own Nazz against the Toon Women's Champion of WWE: Animated, Sailor Moon. . .and the UCA Women's Champion. . .LIGHTNING FARRON!"

"Four of fiction wrestling's best female fighters will go at it in a tag team match. . .it's sure to be as epic as their Twitter wars!" commented Shake.

"And in a battle of two behemoths. . .the UWE Omega Champion. . .the "God of Destruction" Chaos The Hedgehog. . .will go one on one with the number one contender for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .The Monster. . .GARFIELD!"

"These two men are two of the most dominant forces in this business today!" Shake said. "Will Chaos continue his "Era of Destruction" or will Garfield show us all that Chaos is not a God, but a mortal?"

"And the main event of the XCW Summer Supershow will be a dream match come to life. The match that will determine the power couple of this business!" Early informed.

"You're absolutely right!" Shake said in agreement. "The CCW Women's Champion, and the CCW Magnus Champion, Gwen and Ben Tennyson will compete in an intergender tag team matchup against the XCW Women's Champion, and the XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI AND TAI KAMIYA!"

"For the first time ever, the top six companies in the ratings will be under one roof, and in Quahog, Rhode Island, they will put on a show that none of us will ever forget!" Early said. "But Shake, as we established earlier tonight, a common theme for tonight has been complete and utter chaos! What's gonna happen next week, when all the superstars from WWE: Animated, UCA, UWE, CCW, AND PCUW celebrate the summer season with us?"

"I have no idea, Early!" Shake said. "We've got Charlie Araya, Deadpool, Crash Bandicoot set to be here, a member of the Burning Wolves has said he'll be here. . .hell, we are gonna have THREE matches with an extreme stipulation at the Supershow! I'm even beginning to wonder if men like Tommy and Rolf will even make it to XCW Heatwave!"

"And ladies and gentlemen, don't forget that with so many matches on the card, the XCW Summer Supershow will be a three-hour special, right here on CNT!" Early said before the show went to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in a hallway next to Claude Speed, who was focused on his phone.

"Claude," Carl said, "You were given the night off tonight, but next week on the XCW Summer Supershow, you will defend the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship against a member of the Bullies, Francis. Is there any pressure on you going into the match next week, and what have you been doing with yourself all night?"

"Well, Carl, with my free time tonight, I've been texting the model-turned-wrestler Jessica Wilson, who I reconnected with in New York City for Best in the World. I gotta admit, since NYC, we've been talking up to the point where I guess you can call us a 'thing'. Even though she hasn't debuted yet in UWE, she's excited to be going to the Summer Supershow with their roster, and I'm excited to defend the Toon WWE Hardcore title! Because Francis reminds me a lot of my opponent at Heatwave: Arthur. They're both young. . .they're both posers. . .and they're both members of a stable fighting for a lost cause. And after Heatwave, they'll have one more thing in common: the same hospital room, because that's where I'll be sending both of them after they step into the ring with me! But mark my words, Arthur. . .what you'll get from me in my hometown at Heatwave will be ten times worse than the beating I'm gonna give Francis—"

"Oh, be quiet, Speed!" Arthur suddenly said as he walked into frame and stood face-to-face with Claude to boos from the crowd.

"Well, you're quite the role model, aren't you?" Arthur said. "First you're a two-bit thug with a killing spree, then you beat fellow wrestlers to bloody pulps with weapons. . .and now that you're on top of the fiction wrestling world, you've stolen championships from other companies, drank yourself senseless in celebration of. . .NOTHING. . .and now you're having one-night stands with models! You are a bigger disgrace to the belts you wear, the awards you've won, and the events you're representing this company in! I'm going to show you how to be a true role model, and you'll learn it sooner. . .than later!"

Arthur stared Claude down. . .until Tommy Vercetti came up from behind Arthur and grabbed a fistful of his shirt collar!

"Excuse me, Arthur. . ." Tommy said as the crowd cheered, ". . .I need to beat someone up."

Tommy then threw Arthur back-first up against a wall and hammered away at his face with fast and furious right and left hands!

"Dear God!" Early cried. "Out of nowhere, the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, is beating the crap out of the PBS Kid, Arthur!"

Tommy then kneed Arthur in the gut before lifting him up. . .

. . .AND GUTWRENCH POWERBOMBED HIM ON A SET OF WOODEN PALETTES!

"This is absolutely heinous! He's doing this for no reason!" Shake wondered, as Tommy stomped up to Carl and ripped the microphone from his hand.

"I'm NOT sorry for that." Tommy asserted. "And you want to know why? Because of SpongeBitch SmallPenis, that's why! He whined his damn way onto the Supershow card!"

Tommy looked into the camera incensed with anger as he spoke into the microphone again.

"Spongebob. . .you're pathetic, and let me tell you why. Whether it's a new spatula, money, or ultimate stardom, you've always have to get what you want. . .even if you've had to cry an endless amount of tears for it. As far as I'm concerned, you're no different than Thomas Ambrose! You're both the small children at the playground getting bullied by someone like Francis, crying to somebody for help! Spongebob, I hope you'll watch my match against Ambrose next week, because what I'm gonna do to that pussy is gonna be very similar to what you'll receive on my old playground at Heatwave! And Ambrose, next week. . .you'll be on my playground, too. . .and I'm gonna give you an XCW welcome that you won't soon forget. . .because my name is Tommy Vercetti. . .and I'm here to raise HELL!"

Tommy threw the microphone down and stared into the camera until the show went back to the arena.

"Just when you thought Tommy couldn't hate Spongebob even more. . .then that happens." Early said.

"No kidding!" agreed Shake. "Thomas Ambrose is a very sadistic and deadly competitor, but Tommy is absolutely fuming right now! Their no-disqualification match next week will be one of the most brutal matches on the card."

"And if there's one thing Ambrose is not, it's a crybaby. I don't think he's gonna take kindly to the things the Harwood Butcher said to him just now. . ." Early said, before the show went back to the ring, where Plankton stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is a Pick Your Poison match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling main event of the evening!"

"Red Lottery" by Megasus played as the arena became engulfed in red light.

"Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle and Garfield. . .from Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!"

The crowd booed at Hotsuma as he walked onto the stage and down the ramp with Garfield and Jon Arbuckle behind him, looking at nothing but the ring.

"Hotsuma has been fighting, demanding, and vaguely threatening for an opportunity to fight since XCW's inception." Early informed. "And for the first time since XCW's inception, Hotsuma finds himself in the main event of Monday Night Massacre!"

Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stood on the middle rope in a corner, glaring at the fans.

"And if you ask me, Early, he's gonna come up short once again!" predicted Shake. "He's lost to Tai when a spot in CWF's Supershow was on the line, he lost to Tommy Vercetti in the March Majesty tournament. . .he even lost his membership in the Rookie Revolution to Arthur at Nightfire!"

"But Hotsuma said outright to Jon earlier tonight that he was holding back anger over what he's been through for the past six months, and he wanted to unleash it sooner than later!" Early said. "Losing his role in the Revolution has lit a fire under the Oboro Clan leader, and he looks ready to use it right here, right now!"

"What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage, with Tai right behind him.

"And his opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!"

"Bugs Bunny is in this match to return Tai a favor; a favor which stemmed from an incident many months ago." Early informed. "The Animation Icon was on the verge of being choked to death in an absolute mugging at the hands of the monster Garfield, but Tai Kamiya ran down to the ring, made the save, and won the match for Bugs!"

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

"Yeah, and started his personal rivalry with Garfield in the first place!" Shake added. "Bugs better win this match for Tai's sake, otherwise if Tai loses the title in a match of Garfield's choosing, he and the XCW World Champion won't be friends for much longer!"

"I don't think Tai's thinking about that, Shake. Right now, he's thinking about beating down the monster Garfield, and what kind of match he wants to do it in!" Early said, as Garfield and Tai stared each other down from opposite sides of the ringside floor.

The bell rang and the match began with Bugs and Hotsuma pacing around the ring, engaged in a staredown. Bugs and Hotsuma then charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring, engaging in a tie-up. Bugs then turned around to face Hotsuma's back and put him in a waist-lock until Hotsuma spun behind Bugs and nailed him in the back with a hard right hand! Bugs sold his back in pain as he turned to face Hotsuma, who whacked him across the chest with a huge chop! Bugs winced in pain as Hotsuma continued to slap him with chop after chop until Bugs fell to one knee. Hotsuma then grabbed Bugs by the ears and Irish whipped him hard toward the ropes, and on the bounceback, knocked him to the mat with an uppercut! Hotsuma went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!

Hotsuma grabbed Bugs by the ears and threw him into a corner back-first. Hotsuma charged toward Bugs for a shoulder thrust. . .only for Bugs to slide out of the corner, forcing Hotsuma to stop in his tracks by latching onto the ropes before impact. . .but Bugs kicked him into the corner with a dropkick! As Hotsuma stumbled out of the corner, Bugs took him down with a fireman's carry! Bugs then landed a falling elbow onto Hotsuma's chest before going for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out! Bugs then pulled Hotsuma up to his feet and Irish whipped him toward the ropes, waiting for him to come back, but Hotsuma latched onto the ropes before he could bounce off. Bugs ran toward Hotsuma going for a takedown, but Hotsuma spun out of the way, sending Bugs over the second rope and down to the ringside floor! Bugs pushed himself up to his hands and knees as the referee began the ten count, Hotsuma glaring over him from the ring apron.

"And the leader of the Oboro Clan has gained the upper hand here in our main event!" Early said, as Jon Arbuckle cheered Hotsuma on from the ringside floor. Hotsuma then sized Bugs up. . .

. . .AND TOOK BUGS BACK DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR WITH A DIVING LEG DROP! Hotsuma rolled off Bugs and pushed himself up to his feet, catching his breath at the same time as the referee started over the ten count. Selling his abdomen with one hand, Hotsuma pulled Bugs up by the ears with the other, and Irish whipped him hard into the steps, Bugs colliding into them with a sickening thud! Hotsuma then pulled Bugs up by the ears again. . .and rammed his face into the ring apron repeatedly until the referee's count reached five!

"Dear Lord!" cried Early. "Hotsuma is just mandhandling the Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny! And Jon and Garfield are laughing their asses off about it!"

Hotsuma slid Bugs under the bottom rope and back into the ring as Jon and Garfield cheered Hotsuma on before he went for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out! Hotsuma shot up to his knees, glaring at Bugs!

"Uh-oh. . .you said that Hotsuma was manhandling Bugs. . .well, judging from that look, he's gonna do more than manhandle him now!" Shake said, as Hotsuma pulled Bugs up to his feet and threw him back first into a corner. Hotsuma then charged toward Bugs and this time, successfully connected with a series of shoulder thrusts that sent Bugs to falter into a seated position in the corner. Hotsuma then pulled Bugs by the legs to the center of the ring and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 BUGS KICKED OUT! Teeth clenched, Hotsuma stared Bugs down in frustration!

"No matter what Hotsuma does, he can't put Bugs away!" Early said, as Hotsuma drug Bugs by the ears into a seated position in a corner, then pressed his foot up against Bugs's neck, choking him!

"And he's going to drastic measures to do just that, and give Garfield the stipulation of his choice for the World title match at Heatwave!" Shake said as the referee ran toward the corner and began the five count, with Hotsuma stepping off Bugs once the count reached four. Hotsuma then went to grab Bugs's foot. . .

. . .only for Bugs to knock him with a kick to the sternum! Selling his neck, Bugs sat up and pulled himself up to his feet, then drove Hotsuma into the corner with a tackle before whacking him on the side of his head with an elbow! Bugs then put Hotsuma in a headlock and took him down with a side headlock takedown, then stood up before landing a leg drop across Hotsuma's chest! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out! Bugs then grabbed Hotsuma by his scarf and pulled him up to his feet before whacking him in the chest with chops of his own until Hotsuma was driven up against the ropes. Bugs then Irish whipped Hotsuma across the ring, and after Hotsuma bounced back, Bugs took him down with a neckbreaker! Bugs went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 HOTSUMA KICKED OUT! Bugs caught his breath before rolling onto his chest and pushing himself up to a standing position, taunting for Hotsuma to stand up. Hotsuma slowly got up to one knee before Bugs grabbed onto his back from behind. . .and dropped him with an Atomic Drop! Tai cheered for Bugs at ringside while Hotsuma fell back down to the mat!

"And just like that, Bugs has gained the upper hand! Will he win the match for Tai?" asked Early as Bugs went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 HOTSUMA KICKED OUT! Bugs got to his knees, slapping the mat with disappointment as he stood up. Bugs grabbed Hotsuma by the arms and pulled him up to his feet, draping an arm over his shoulder. . .lifting him for a suplex. . .

. . .but Hotsuma dropped out of it! Hotsuma nailed Bugs in the face with two consecutive right hands before Irish whipping him across the ring. . .

. . .AND TAKING HIM DOWN WITH A POWERSLAM ON THE BOUNCEBACK! Hotsuma went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 BUGS KICKED OUT! Hotsuma rolled onto his back, gasping for air to catch his breath as the referee began the ten count!

"Hotsuma's been the deadly fighter he always is tonight, but Bugs has fought back into this thing!" Early said.

"Bugs wants to win this one for his friend, Tai. . .Hotsuma wants to win this for his career!" Shake said. "There's no telling who's gonna win this match!"

Bugs and Hotsuma slowly staggered up to their feet, facing each other in the center of the ring. They began to trade right hands, with the crowd chanting "BOO!" in unison with Hotsuma's punches, and "YAY!" in unison with Bugs's punches! They continued punching each other until Bugs was able to nail three consecutive punches to Hotsuma's face, which sent him backpedaling toward the ropes! Hotsuma stopped in his tracks, though, and lumbered toward Bugs. . .

. . .only to be met with an inverted Atomic Drop! Hotsuma sold his abdomen in pain until Bugs kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .lifted him above his head for the Bunny Bomb. . .

. . .but Hotsuma dropped out of it, in front of Bugs! Hotsuma surprised the Animation Icon with a throat thrust before pulling him onto the ring apron by the ears! Hotsuma then pulled Bugs back into the ring over the middle rope. . .and planted Bugs with a Hangman's DDT! Hotsuma then slowly rose up to his feet and did the cut throat taunt as Bugs struggled to push himself up to his feet!

"BAH GAWD Hotsuma's gonna do it!" Early cried. "He's gonna defeat the Animation Icon, and that gives Garfield the stipulation for his fight against Tai at Heatwave!"

"He's shown up to fight tonight, and if he uses the Akujiki here, he'll send shockwaves to the fiction wrestling industry!" Shake declared as Bugs shook his head back into reality while standing up to his feet. . .

. . .ONLY FOR HOTSUMA TO LEAP UP—NO! Bugs shoved Hotsuma toward the ropes! Hotsuma bounced back. . .

. . .AND ATE THE KARATE KICK FROM BUGS! Bugs fell to the mat, going for the cover! 1. . .

"HOTSUMA GOT A FACEFUL OF BUGS'S FOOT!" Early screamed!

2\. . .

"AND TAI'S GOT THE MATCH CHOICE AT HEATWAVE—" Shake yelled—

. . .2.99 HOTSUMA KICKED OUT! Bugs rolled onto his chest, clenching his face in frustration!

"NO! HOTSUMA JUST BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!" Early exclaimed as Bugs looked up to see the corner in front of him! "What's going through his mind right now?"

"All the fights he almost won, but lost. . .all the times he came close to winning the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .Bugs has had his heart broken more than once since the beginning of XCW. . ." Shake said, as Hotsuma rolled to his side away from the commentators, Tai and the referee while Bugs stumbled toward the corner, and climbed up to the top rope!

". . .but he's not gonna let Tai down!" Early finished, as Bugs slapped his elbow three times! "He's not gonna let the fans down! He's gonna plant Hotsuma with the Acme Elbow!"

Bugs leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .AND WAS KNOCKED TO THE MAT WITH A FISTFUL OF SPIKED KNUCKLES IN MID-AIR BY HOTSUMA!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Early screamed as the fans gasped from the impact! "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?"

"BUGS IS OUT COLD, BUT HOW?" exclaimed Shake, as Tai AND Garfield looked at Hotsuma and Bugs, mouths agape in shock! Hotsuma then slipped the spiked knuckles off his hand and into a holster on his belt, looking down at a now-bloody Bugs Bunny!

"Did he—did he use spiked knuckles?" Shake asked his broadcast partner.

"HE DID, SHAKE! YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT HE DID! AND IT WAS TOO QUICK FOR THE REFEREE, NOBODY SAW IT COMING!"

Tai jumped up and down at ringside in anger, screaming at the referee while Hotsuma pulled Bugs up to his feet. . .AND PLANTED HIM WITH THE AKUJIKI!

"BUT HE SAW THE AKUJIKI! DAMN IT!" Early yelled in disgust as Hotsuma rolled Bugs onto his back and went for a cover, barely hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

Hotsuma rolled off Bugs, catching his breath as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .HOTSUMA!"

A wide, sadistic grin formed on Jon Arbuckle's face while the referee raised Hotsuma's arm in victory.

"HOTSUMA DEFEATED A LEGEND, AND KEPT HIS CAREER ALIVE THANKS TO AN ACT OF DESPERATION!" Early yelled as Hotsuma rolled out of the ring, selling his head and neck while walking up the ramp with a wide smirk on his face.

"And thanks to that set of brass knuckles, the stipulation for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship match at Heatwave rests in the hands of the monster Garfield!" Shake said, as Tai slid into the ring and got in the referee's face, arguing with him.

"The XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya, is upset with the end of the match, and I don't blame him one bit, Shake!" Early said as the referee insisted that he didn't see a thing!

"Neither do I, Early. . ." Shake said while Tai continued arguing with the referee. . .

". . .but Tai needs to deal with it, and turn the hell around!"

. . .unaware that Garfield had entered the ring, and was standing right behind him holding Bugs by the neck!

Garfield threw Bugs's knocked-out body at the referee, knocking him down! Tai immediately turned around. . .

. . .AND DODGED AN UPPERCUT FROM GARFIELD! Tai stared down the monster with an incensed stare until. . .

"No, no, no, no! Enough is enough, Mr. Kamiya!" Jon Arbuckle stood on the ringside floor, speaking into a microphone. "There's no use fighting over a carpet stain!"

Jon climbed onto the ring apron to massive boos from the crowd and entered the ring above the second rope.

"Now, believe me when I say that I have no idea what Hotsuma had up his sleeve just now, but there's nothing that can be done about it. What happened in the match. . .happened. The outcome of this match is irreversible, and will go down in the books as a victory for the monster. . .GARFIELD!"

Garfield stared down Tai with an angry stare as Jon stood at his side with a smug look.

"And with this victory, Garfield can choose the type of match that he will tear you limb from limb in at Heatwave. . .and after it, he will leave Liberty City as the XCW World Heavyweight Champion once again."

Tai's stare never looked away from Garfield's face as Jon continued speaking.

"And allow me to announce. . .that after he makes the "God of Destruction" Chaos The Hedgehog into a mere mortal next week at the XCW Summer Supershow. . .at Heatwave, Garfield will reclaim the XCW World Heavyweight Championship from you. . .in not just any match. . .but in this match. . .you can only win. . .by being-"

Suddenly, Garfield grabbed onto the microphone and ripped it out of Jon's hand! Garfield took a few steps forward, coming face-to-face with Tai before putting the microphone up to his mouth. . .and saying. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."LAST MAN STANDING!"

Garfield threw the microphone down to the mat as the crowd gasped in shock and excitement!

The crowd still electric, Garfield and Tai continued to stare each other down as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Results

Spongebob Squarepants defeated Daffy Duck  
Mario defeated Eric Cartman via disqualification  
Peach defeated Nazz (wins number one contendership for XCW Women's Championship)  
Kenny McCormick defeated Rolf (won XCW Hardcore Championship)  
Hotsuma defeated Bugs Bunny (Garfield won choice of stipulation for XCW World Heavyweight Championship match at Heatwave)

XCW Summer Supershow Card:

The Ed Factor with special guests Team 2D (UWE)  
Kenny McCormick (XCW) vs. Charlie Araya (UWE) vs. Guntep Min (PCUW) vs. Crash Bandicoot (UCA) vs. Deadpool (WWE: Animated) vs. Dan Kuso (CCW) in a six-way match for the XCW Hardcore Championship  
Claude Speed (XCW)(c) vs. Francis (WWE: Animated) in a Hardcore match for the Toon Hardcore Championship  
Asheel Din (PCUW) and TD Kennelly (WWE: Animated) and Senji Kiyomasa (UCA) vs. Mario and Luigi (XCW) and Majin Buu (UWE)  
Asui Hikaru (UWE) and Nazz (XCW) vs. Sailor Moon (WWE: Animated) and Lightning Farron (UCA)  
Tommy Vercetti (XCW) vs. Thomas Ambrose (UWE) in a No-Disqualification match  
Spongebob Squarepants (XCW) issuing an open challenge  
Chaos The Hedgehog (UWE) vs. Garfield (XCW)  
Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi (XCW) vs. Ben and Gwen Tennyson (CCW)

Alrighty, there's part two! I hope it was worth the wait. As always, let me know if there are any character inconsistencies, if I went a little overboard with anything, or if something didn't make sense, and I'll go in and correct it.

Up next. . .is part one of the XCW Summer Supershow! That will come soon, until then, READ AND REVIEW!


	33. XCW Summer Supershow: Part 1

Hey fans! I got tired of going so long without an update, so without further ado, here’s the first chapter of the XCW Summer Supershow, containing the first segment! I still plan on submitting the first three matches of the Supershow in the next chapter. I only own my championships.

FYI: The Supershow takes place before UWE Barely Legal, PCUW’s most recent chapter, and after Animated March Week 2.

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“We welcome you all live to the Hydrox Arena in Quahog, Rhode Island! Where right here tonight, your favorite wrestlers and characters from not only XCW, but also WWE: Animated, UWE, UCA, PCUW and CCW will interact with each other, converse with each other, and of course, compete against each other in the name of good sportsmanship! Welcome to a special summer edition of XCW Monday Night Massacre, which will go by tonight, as the XCW Summer Supershow! Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and Shake, we’ve got an epic slate of epic matches for this epic Supershow!”

“You got that right!” Shake said in agreement. “I’ve been looking forward to this night for weeks! Because not only will Spongebob Squarepants host an open challenge, but The Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, will go one-on-one against UWE’s Worst Nightmare, Thomas Ambrose, in a no-disqualification match, but the God of Destruction, Chaos The Hedgehog, will take on Garfield, Claude Speed will put the Toon Hardcore title on the line against Francis of WWE: Animated, and in our main event, the XCW World Heavyweight Champion and his wife, the XCW Women’s Champion, Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi will compete in an intergender tag team match against the CCW Magnus and Females Champions, Ben and Gwen Tennyson! We’re gonna find out who the Best Wrestling Couple in the Universe is right here tonight! I can’t wait!”

“Neither can I, Shake!” Early said in excitement. “But we start off the night with a special summer edition of The Ed Factor!”

The show went to the ring, which was decorated with a red carpet, two long barstools and a plasma screen TV hanging from a fixture. Suddenly. . .all the lights went off in the arena. . .before the following words came from the titantron.

"ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratched on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro explodes on the stage and Ed, Edd, Rolf and Eddy jumped onto the stage from below it. Ed and Edd are clad in shirts and hats (Edd in his traditional sock hat) with the word "ED" on it.

"Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome the hosts of The Ed Factor. . .D-GENERATION ED!”

Raising multiple title belts above their heads, Eddy and Edd strode down the ramp next to Ed and Rolf.

“Last week on PCUW, Ed was reduced to tears upon learning his good friend, Asheel Din, would be leaving PCUW for a higher-paying contract with Total Championship Wrestling, while Eddy was left wondering who his challenger would be for the PCUW World Championship at Summerfest.” informed Early. “But on XCW, the Eds learned that in less than two weeks at XCW Heatwave in Liberty City, they will be competing in XCW’s first ever Tables, Ladders and Chairs match for the XCW Tag Team titles!”

Edd and Eddy slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, raising their title belts above their heads. They met in the center of the ring, with Rolf and Ed next to them, and did the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

“And they regained the CWF Tag Team titles at CWF Wrestleversary!” Shake added while Eddy received a microphone from the timekeeper. “Between their work in CWF, XCW, WWE: Animated, PCUW, XCF and TCW, the Eds are some of the busiest men in fiction wrestling! They have a lot going for them right now, and a lot coming to them in the near future!”

“WHAAAAAT IS UP, QUAHOG????” Eddy asked loudly, to massive cheers from the crowd.

“I’ll tell you one thing, there is a lot up with us! First off, I don’t know if you can notice, but we’re wearing a lot more than just our D-Ed merchandise right now. 

Eddy took the PCUW World Heavyweight Championship belt off his waist and draped it over his other shoulder as he stepped to Edd’s side.

“Not only is Sockhead here the current PCUW X-Division Champion, and has been since New Day, and until last Saturday night on WWE: Animated, he was the first of us Eds to be a dual champion in two companies, when he held the X-Division Championship and the Toon WWE Cruiserweight Championship!”

Eddy strode over to Ed’s side and put his arm around his shoulder. “And Lumpy here isn’t stretching a wide smile because there’s a monster movie marathon! Not only is Ed the FWA Superstar of the Year. . .but at CWF Wrestleversary, he and I defeated six other teams in a Tag Team Turmoil match to become the NEW CWF Tag Team Champions!!!”

The crowd cheered as Ed and Eddy raised their tag title belts above their heads. Eddy then stepped in front of Ed and Edd, taking the PCUW World title belt off his shoulder.

“As for me. . .I am the other half of the CWF Tag Team Champions. . .the leader of D-Generation Ed, one half of the future XCW Tag Team Champions. . .AND THE CURRENT. . .PCUW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!”

The crowd erupted into applause as Eddy raised the PCUW World title belt high above his head, as the crowd chanted “D-ED! D-ED! D-ED!”

“And we may have a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match against the South Park Four and the Mario Brothers at Heatwave. . .but a tag team as great as us doesn’t have to worry about that right now. So right now, we are going to get down to brass tacks. Right now, we are going to open the XCW Summer Supershow with the single greatest talk show in the entire fiction wrestling universe. . .THE ED FACTOR!!!”

The crowd cheered once again.

“And that brings us to our guests tonight! They are currently one of the most popular tag teams in Ultimate Wrestling Entertainment, and the Universal Character Association. . .and the FWA Tag Team of the Year, ladies and gentlemen, please join us in welcoming. . .the UWE Duos Champions. . .TEAM 2D, TOM AND JERRY!!!”

“Light It Up” by Rev Theory played as Tom and Jerry strode onto opposing sides of the ramp with the UWE Duos title belts draped over their shoulders. They raised a “V” sign with their hands toward the fans, who loudly chanted “NON-STOP VIOLENCE!!! NON-STOP VIOLENCE!!!”

“Well, Shake, the crowd is chanting what we’re expecting tonight, but right now, we’re about to see a tag team that embodies non-stop violence!” Early said. “Tom and Jerry were bitter rivals in their past cartoons, but now they have became friends, tag team partners, and multiple time tag team champions!”

Tom and Jerry ran down the ramp and slid into the ring, posing on opposing turnbuckles and raising the “V” symbol with their hands toward the fans.

“No kidding, Early!” Shake said in agreement. “They are seven time tag team champions in UCA, three-time ECW Tag Team Champions, and six–time tag team champions in UWE, including their current reign! And right now, they’re coming face-to-face with a team that is as prestigious and iconic as themselves! I can only imagine what will happen now, when Non-Stop Violence comes onto The Ed Factor!”

With microphones in hand, Tom and Jerry sat down on the chairs in front of the plasma screen TV as the Eds stood next to them.

“Tom, Jerry. . .” Eddy said with a smirk, “. . .allow me to be the first to welcome you both to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, and the XCW Summer Supershow! Now, the first question I gotta ask you guys is easy. I have to know. . .how does it feel to be here on XCW turf right now?”

Tom put the microphone up to his mouth. “Well, Eddy, it feels great to finally meet our competition in person, and we were happy to meet Commissioner Space Ghost in the back before the show started. You guys have a lot of good things going and you’ll only get better.”

“That being said. . .” Tom continued, “. . .we would prefer to be on a show ranked a little higher than sixth in the ratings. Hell, the ratings for UWE and UCA combined blow yours and even CCW’s out of the water!”

The crowd gave Tom a mixed reaction while Eddy’s grin faltered.

“Not to mention a talk show that has actually won a Fiction Wrestling Award!” Jerry added. “Tom and I have been tag team champions a record sixteen times! A team like us deserves a talk show fit for us!”

Ed strode up to Eddy’s side with his brow lowered, only for Eddy to extend his arm out, keeping Ed from going any further.

“Okay, then. . .let me ask you this. . .considering we’ve won tag team championships at least once everywhere we’ve went, from CWF, WWE: Animated, TCW, and of course, XCW, and have done and will continue to do more in singles competition than you ever will, I gotta know. . .how does it feel to be on a talk show hosted by the single greatest team in fictional wrestling history?”

Tom furrowed his brow as he put his microphone up to his mouth.

“Hey now, just because we haven’t done our own thing doesn’t mean we’re not as decorated as you guys!” Tom answered. “We’ve been to places you never have, and have gone through more punishment than you three can ever dream of! You want to rattle off a list of accolades and championships you’ve won? Well let us give you a history lesson about us, kid!”

Tom stood up from his chair and looked at Eddy right in the face. “You see, many years ago when ECW was still around, and Jerry and I started teaming up, nobody believed in us. The fans and our critics said ‘It’s one thing for a cat and a mouse to team up…but Tom and Jerry coexisting is flat-out impossible.’ And I didn’t fault them. When Jerry and I met all those years ago, all I saw out of him was an insect…a pest…and ultimately, my dinner. So I chase him around houses, amusement parks, beaches, boats, you name it, every time I tried to eat the little bastard, I failed, and got hurt almost every single time. But one time we were chasing each other like normal, and then it hit us both: we had something in common, after all…and that was a lust for violence.”

“Tom’s right!” Jerry said, as he stepped off his chair and came to Tom’s side. “You guys may have been able to forgive and forget MISTER Eddy running you guys out of CWF, but Tom wanted to kill me! He tried to eat me too many times to count, but I did what I had to do to stay alive, I threw knives at him, I sent him falling down elevator shafts, I’ve even gotten him electrocuted him to save my own tail! But one day, he saw me, and instead of chasing me once again, he came by my hole in the wall, told me he realized we have more in common than we thought, and he even offered to bury the hatchet. Was I skeptical at first? Sure. But I accepted his sincere offer, and our hatred for each other turned into a friendship…and then into a tag team partnership in ECW, then UCA and UWE today! We overcame an epic hatred for each other, and that’s an obstacle you guys have never had to overcome, and certainly tougher than fighting against two other teams in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match!!”

“And the physical pain you two will face in that match is nothing compared to what we’ve endured in our days as a tag team!” Tom added. “We’ve been dropped on our heads, we’ve bled all over arenas, we’ve been set on fire, hell, I’ve even been nailed in my private parts with a SINGAPORE CANE!!! But with all that risk came reward, from disdain came mutual respect, and sure enough, since then, we have become fifteen-time tag team champions, and the current Duos Champions in UWE!!!”

“So to answer your question, MISTER Eddy…it feels pretty great to be on a talk show with the greatest tag team in fictional wrestling history…because WE ARE THE GREATEST TAG TEAM IN FICTIONAL WRESTLING HISTORY!!!”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Tom backed away from Eddy, who looked up at him with a scowl. “Okay.” Eddy said. “You want to go there? You’ve gone there. Sockhead, Lumpy and I have been neighbors and friends since birth, and not even my stint as the leader of Power, Inc. could ever break the bond I have with them!”

Edd and Ed stepped up to Eddy’s side as he continued. “And we know the Tables, Ladders and Chairs match will be grueling, we know there’ll be carnage, and you know what else we know? We know that if we think we can beat them, we WILL beat them. Plus, we know both of our opponents like the back of our hands!”

“Look! A freckle!” Ed said behind Eddy.

“And I know we WILL beat them because we are as dangerous as a team as we are on our own, and after Heatwave, the force that is D-Generation Ed will be known as the NEW XCW Tag Team Champions!”

The crowd cheered once again.

“But now, Tom, Jerry…let me ask you one more question. Clearly we’ve been through a lot in our personal lives, and our careers. Our friendship has been tested, you guys had to put your animosity for each other to rest. We’ve won as many championships as you have, and we each have a great reputation, us as degenerates, and you two as violent maniacs…so my question to you right now, is how would you like to find out who IS the greatest tag team in fictional wrestling history, right here, in Quahog, at the XCW Summer Supershow???”

The crowd erupted into cheers of surprise as Tom’s eyes widened in surprise from the challenge! Tom and Jerry looked around at the fans as they chanted “NON-STOP VIOLENCE!!!/D-GEN-ED!!! NON-STOP VIOLENCE!!!/D-GEN-ED!!!” Tom and Jerry then faced the Eds with a confident stare.

“What do we say to that???” Tom asked. “We say—“

Tom was suddenly cut off as…

…”What Would Brian Boitano Do?” by DVDA played!!! The crowd erupted into boos as Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman stepped onto the stage with their XCW Tag title belts draped over their shoulders and microphones in hand.

“Well, here come the current XCW Tag Team Champions, and it looks like they have something to say about each team’s claim to being the greatest team in fictional wrestling!” Early said, as Stan and Cartman stepped down the ramp.

“You got that right, Early!” Shake agreed. “Although their recent methods of victory haven’t been the most admirable since their XCW debut, The South Park Four have just as big a claim to being the greatest tag team in fictional wrestling history as D-Generation Ed and Team 2D!”

Stan and Cartman entered the ring above the second rope and glared at Tom and Eddy, as Ed, Edd and Jerry scowled at them from afar.

“Hold up! Hold up! Hold up, hold up, hold up!” Stan said with the microphone up to his mouth. “You guys are really gonna go through with this? GIVE ME A F*CKING BREAK!!!” Because you seemed to have forgotten to factor in somebody else! The team that has beaten the “high-and-mighty” D-Generation Ed on more than one occasion….the team that currently holds the XCW Tag Team Championships, and the team that will be inducted into the UCA Hall of Fame at this year’s Final Clash!”

“Not to mention…” Cartman said, stepping to Stan’s side. “…that will be the team that rises 20 feet above D-Ed and the Mario Brothers at Heatwave, and claim the XCW Tag Team title belts as theirs, and only theirs! We ruled the tag team division in UCW, we ruled it in UCA, and we rule it here in XCW!!! Now, Tom, Jerry, I suggest you get a good look at our belts, because they are a symbol of our AUTHORITAH!!!”

“That’s right! So if you want to face any tag team at this Supershow, ignore the veteran plumber brothers, ignore the tween-age sellouts hosting this talk show, and look no further than the XCW Tag Team Champions!” Stan finished, as they stared Tom and Jerry down with smug smiles and their hands extended forward, holding their belts.

Tom put the microphone up to his mouth. “So let me get this straight…you want us to slap D-Generation Ed in the face by ignoring their challenge, answering yours instead, and not only embarrass you guys, but your company as well, by painting the ring red with your blood???”

Jerry put the microphone up to his mouth. “YOU GOT IT!!!”

The crowd erupted into cheers as Stan and Cartman’s smirks extend into smiles. 

“We’ll see you both in the ring later tonight!” Tom said before dropping the mic. 

Ed and Eddy stand in front of their set, mouths agape in disbelief, while Edd could only scowl at the South Park Four. Tom and Jerry could only stare down the South Park Four until the show went to a commercial break.

As the show returned from break, Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're back live on the XCW Summer Supershow, which got off to a wild start with the Ed Factor!" Early said.

"You got that right!" Shake agreed. "Team 2D, Tom and Jerry, were about to challenge D-Generation Ed to a match here tonight, but then the South Park Four came out and declared themselves better than both of them! So the UWE Duos Champions put their match against D-Ed on hold, and accepted the challenge issued by the XCW Tag Team Champions for later on tonight! This Supershow just got even more loaded, and the first match hasn't even began!"

"You're absolutely right, Shake! We'll see the non-stop violence of Tom and Jerry in the ring later tonight! But fret no more, because the first match is about to start now, and in it, Shake, I have a feeling we'll see an omen for the rest of the show!" Early predicted, as Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .it is a six-way Hardcore match for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship!"

The Iron Sheik's WWE theme played as Guntep Min came out smirking at the crowd, who booed him.

"Introducing first. . .representing PCUW. . .from Egypt. . .GUNTEP MIN!"

Guntep strode down the ramp carrying a kendo stick and a metal pipe.

"You may be right, Early!" Shake said. "And with the likes of this man, Guntep Min, a former PCUW Hardcore Champion, the chaos could spill from the ring to the streets of Quahog very easily!"

Guntep rested the kendo stick and metal pipe on the ring apron before looking under the ring and pulling out a table!

"There's no doubt that Guntep Min is a tough competitor in matches under hardcore rules. Before losing the title to Kenny Smith at PCUW New Day, he held onto it for six consecutive months!" Early informed. "But we haven't seen head or tail of him on PCUW since New Day! Maybe tonight, he'll regain his footing by winning our Hardcore title and taking it back with him to the indie sensation that is Peach Creek Ultimate Wrestling!"

"Becoming The Bull" by Atreyu played as Dan Kuso came out and posed on the stage wearing the CCW Universal Championship around his waist.

"Representing CCW. . .from Santa Monica, California. . .he is the CCW Universal Champion. . .DAN KUSO!"

Dan high-fived the cheering fans sitting on the other side of the barricade as he strode down the ramp.

"The last thing I want to see is someone from another company leave tonight with the XCW Hardcore Championship. . .but in the case of this man, I'll make an exception!" Early said, as Dan grabbed a steel chair from under the ring before sliding into the ring and climbing onto a corner, raising the Universal title belt above his head toward the fans.

"This kid has been on one hell of a rollercoaster in recent months!" Shake said. "He's broken Animated's Royal Rumble record for eliminations, he's the current CCW Universal Champion after defeating his rival Tom Brady for it at CCW Jackpot, and very soon, he'll be facing Broly one-on-one at Wrestlemania! Winning the XCW Hardcore Championship would add to the ever-growing list of accomplishments for this kid!"

The lights flickered between black and red as. . .

"Du Hast" By Rammstein played! Raising Darline into the air, Charlie Araya stomped onto the entranceway with a stoic expression on his face as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"Representing UWE. . .from Hellview, New York. . .he is "St. Blood". . .CHARLIE ARAYA!"

Charlie strode down the ramp carrying Darline, ignoring the fans as he focused only on the ring.

"This man has had a long career in wrestling, and has a long list of accomplishments along with it. . .but he has a lot of scars to show from it, too!" Early said. "Charlie Araya is a brutal son of a bitch! If he goes through any pain or suffering in a match, he won't stop fighting until he puts his opponents through the same physical torture!"

Charlie entered the ring and glared around the ring at Dan and Guntep.

"This man has been all business since his career began in UWE, having won the Omega Championship a whopping ten times, and scarring his body in many ways while doing so!" Shake added. "He looks to do even more of that here, just days before his Buried Alive match at Barely Legal against Michael Armington! But that could very easily be for the XCW Hardcore title after tonight."

"No More Words" by EndeverAfteR played as the crowd erupted into cheers! Crash Bandicoot spun onto the stage in a flurry before leaping into the air, with pyro erupting on all sides of the stage upon landing.

"Representing UCA. . .from Wumpa Island. . .CRASH BANDICOOT!"

Crash dashed down the ramp in a frenzy, throwing the ring apron up before ripping out a trash can full of weapons.

"My God, this match is starting to look less like a wrestling match and more like the ward of a mental asylum!" Shake said. "Crash Bandicoot is a madman tonight!"

Crash threw the trash can and weapons over the ropes, and into the ring before pulling out a kendo stick. He then leapt onto the ring apron, flipped over all three ropes and landed feet-first onto the mat before leaping onto a corner and rocking out to his theme song toward the fans.

"He's as psychotic as Charlie Araya, and as destructive as the monster Garfield!" Early said. "But unlike the rest of the men in the ring right now, Crash Bandicoot has had experience with XCW talent, winning a match against Claude Speed in the Best of the Best tournament at the Best in the World pay-per-view! Now Crash is here on XCW turf! Will he defy the odds once again and gain another victory against XCW, and take the XCW Hardcore Championship away from-"

"What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played!

"—this man?" finished Early, as Plankton made the next introduction.

"Representing XCW and the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .he is "The Extremist". . .KENNY MCCORMICK!"

The crowd gave Kenny a mixed reaction as the lights went up on the stage. . .but Kenny was nowhere to be found!

"Since arriving to XCW, The Extremist of South Park, Kenny McCormick has died as many times as he has been the XCW Hardcore Champion! Kenny is already a five-time Hardcore Champion, and faces five of the most brutal, psychotic, and destructive forces right here, right now. . .but where the hell is he?" Early wondered, as Guntep, Charlie, Crash and Dan looked up the ramp in anticipation.

"I have no idea, Early! Do you think he died during the commercial break?" asked Shake, until the show cut to a hallway in the backstage area. . .

. . .WHERE DEADPOOL WAS STANDING OUTSIDE THE SOUTH PARK FOUR'S LOCKER ROOM DOOR!

"Hey, Kenny!" Deadpool exclaimed in excitement while knocking on the door obnoxiously. "Hey, Kenny! It's Deadpool! You know, one of the five men in the Hardcore title match that you're going to lose! It's time for you to go out there!"

Deadpool stopped knocking and stood outside the door, tapping his foot against the linoleum floor repeatedly.

"Come on, Kenny! If you come out, I'll let you live to see Heatwave! At most, you'll squirm out of here. . .maybe crawl if you still have an arm. . .but you'll still be alive!...probably."

Deadpool paused again, only to hear complete silence.

"Okay! Then I'll huff, and I'll puff…and I'll shoot my way in!" Deadpool said, before unsheathing his pistol. . .

. . .AND BLASTING THE DOOR OPEN! Deadpool entered the room to see Kenny backed into a corner, holding the Hardcore title belt in front of him like a shield!

"There you are!" Deadpool yelled, as Kenny suddenly charged out of the corner, cocking the Hardcore title belt back behind his head as he let out a muffled scream. . .

. . .but Deadpool grabbed Kenny by the hand and spun around him. . .

. . .AND PISTOL WHIPPED KENNY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!

"DEAR GOD! The match hasn't started yet, and WWE's Merc With A Mouth already has the XCW Hardcore Champion incapacitated!" Early cried, as Deadpool gripped Kenny by the coat and drug him out of the locker room and down the hallway!

"He's got him dead to rights!" Shake said. "Why isn't Deadpool going for the cover?"

"I'm not taking the easy way out, Shake!" Deadpool answered to the camera. "I waited two months too long for this episode!"

Deadpool continued walking only to stop in his tracks upon seeing a wheelbarrow up against the left wall!

"Well, Shake, you heard the man!" Early said. "Deadpool wants the show to go on, and by God, this Hardcore title match is gonna start, whether the South Park Extremist knows it or not!"

Deadpool then threw Kenny onto the wheelbarrow, laying him in it face up.

"I know we were supposed to expect chaos from this match, but if what's happening right now is any indication, Kenny's about to go on a bumpy ride!" Shake said, as Deadpool lifted the wheelbarrow's handles and continued forward until he reached the arena to cheers from the crowd! Deadpool then backed up to the edge of the entranceway before sprinting forward. . .

. . .AND LAUNCHING THE WHEELBARROW DOWN THE RAMP WITH KENNY STILL IN IT! Deadpool raised an arm and waved at Kenny as the wheelbarrow sped down the ramp at breakneck speed!

"I'll see you on the other side, Kenneth! OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE!" screamed Deadpool as the wheelbarrow crashed into the ring apron, sending Kenny flying into the ring above the top rope! Kenny's prone body landed with a sickening thud as Dan stood over Kenny for a cover. . .only for Charlie to clock him in the face with a series of right hands! Guntep then swung the lead pipe toward Crash's face. . .but with quick reflexes, Crash grabbed onto Guntep's arm and threw him across the ring with an Irish whip. As Guntep bounced back, Crash took him down with a drop toe hold. . .face first onto a stop sign! Kenny was still lying prone on the mat as Deadpool stood on the stage confused.

"Really? Plankton's not gonna introduce me? Guess I'm a Kennedy tonight!" Deadpool said before he looked up at the ceiling as a small microphone on a string fell from the rafters to dangle in front of his face. Deadpool cleared his throat loudly, setting off feedback from the microphone, causing all the men in the ring to look at him in confusion.

"LLLLLLLADIES AND GENTLEMEN. . ." Deadpool bellowed in his best Michael Buffer impression, ". . .REPRESENTING WWE'S ANIMATED DIVISION. . .THE FUTURE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .THE FUTURE WWE TOON WORLD CHAMPION. . .THE MERC WITH A MOUTH. . .AND THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD. . ."

". . .DEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LLLLLLL!"

Deadpool walked down the ramp, still holding the microphone as its super-long string followed right behind him. Deadpool stood right in front of the ring apron, put the microphone up to his mouth. . .

"DEEEEADPOOOOL-"

. . .AND WAS KNOCKED DOWN TO THE FLOOR BY A SUICIDE DIVE FROM CHARLIE! The bell rang and the match finally began with Dan and Crash trading right hands in the rings while Guntep dashed toward the still-prone Kenny for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Dan broke up the three count with an elbow! Guntep rolled up to his feet and charged toward Crash, pushing him over the second rope and down to the ringside floor! Meanwhile, Dan pulled Kenny up to his feet only to take him back down with a scoop slam! Dan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kenny somehow kicked out!

"And the South Park Extremist and current XCW Hardcore Champion has awaken just in time to keep the title on him, but who knows for how much longer?" Early wondered as Kenny leapt up to his feet and dropkicked Dan in the legs, bringing him to his knees. Meanwhile, on the outside, Charlie pulled Deadpool up by the back of his uniform and chucked him toward the steel steps, with Deadpool hitting them head-first with a sickening thud! While Deadpool saw birds flying around his head, Charlie looked under the ring for a weapon and pulled out a razor-blade table! He set it up on the floor by the other corner and pulled Deadpool up to his feet before slugging him with a right hand.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Guntep and Crash traded right hands, until Crash caught Guntep's fist in time, spun around to face his back and take him down with a Reverse DDT! Crash then reached into the ring from under the bottom rope and grabbed the kendo stick! Crash then raised the kendo stick high above his head and rammed it right into Guntep's face, splitting his head and busting him open! Crash whacked him in the head repeatedly with the kendo stick, completely unaware that Kenny was behind him on the top rope! Kenny leapt off the turnbuckle. . .

. . .AND TOOK CRASH DOWN WITH A HURRICANRANA! Kenny went for the cover 1. . .2 .. .Crash kicked out! Kenny pulled Crash up to his feet, only for Crash to drive Kenny against the ring apron back-first! Crash then lifted Kenny up and slammed him onto the covered floor with an Alabama Slam! Crash picked up the kendo stick and held it under him while running toward Kenny. . .and nailed a leg drop on the kendo stick, crushing Kenny right under it! Instead of going for the cover, Crash pulled Kenny up by the coat. . .

. . .ONLY FOR DAN KUSO TO LEAP OFF A TOP ROPE AND KNOCK BOTH OF THEM DOWN WITH A TRIANGLE PLANCHA! Dan rolled onto his back upon making impact with the floor, catching his breath!

"Bah gawd it's been an aerial assault early on in this XCW Hardcore Championship matchup!" Early declared, as Charlie Irish whipped Deadpool toward the table. . .but Deadpool countered it into an Irish whip of his own. . .but Charlie stopped in his tracks right before hitting the table! Deadpool went to lock Charlie in a sleeper hold, but Charlie caught him with an elbow to the face! While Deadpool stumbled back toward the steps behind him, Charlie pulled a steel chair out from under the ring and raised it high above his head. . .

. . .and nailed Deadpool right in the face with it! Charlie went for a cover on the outside 1. . .2. . .Deadpool kicked out!

Charlie pulled Deadpool up and threw him toward the razor-blade table-but Deadpool spun around and collided into it back-first, barely missing the impact of the blades! Charlie charged toward him for a clothesline, but Deadpool surprised St. Blood with a swift kick to the jaw! Deadpool then threw Charlie into the ring apron chest-first before Irish whipping him toward the ramp, with Charlie stopping in his tracks upon reaching the foot of it…only for Deadpool to tackle Charlie down to the ramp! Deadpool went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Charlie kicked out!

"Damn indestructible…whose mind did you come from, anyway?" Deadpool shouted to Charlie, who responded by socking him in the face with a right hand! Charlie then rose up to his feet and Irish whipped Deadpool toward the edge of the ramp, with Deadpool falling off it and landing right into the crowd!

Meanwhile, back at ringside, Guntep slid a multitude of weapons into the ring from under the bottom rope, including a barbed wire 2x4, a cookie sheet, a stop sign, and the table he brought to the ring. Guntep then turned his attention back to Kenny…who nailed him in the face with a steel chair! Guntep turned away from Kenny, selling his head in pain…until Kenny dropped the chair and threw Guntep head first into the ring post! Guntep clenched his head in pain as he fell to his knees while Kenny grabbed the steel chair. Guntep wiped some blood from his face as he staggered up to his feet…

…ONLY FOR KENNY TO DIVE OFF THE BARRICADE AND DROPKICK THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO GUNTEP'S FACE! Guntep fell onto the floor in a crumbled heap while Kenny landed on his chest!

"OOOOOOH!" Early cringed. "Good God almighty! The Extremist of South Park showing some of our competition why he's our current Hardcore Champion!"

Kenny then crawled toward Guntep and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Dan Kuso dove toward Kenny and broke up the three count with a double axe handle! Meanwhile, Crash stood back up and nailed Dan in the face with a baking sheet, then rammed Kenny with a dropkick, the back of his head colliding into the ring apron! Crash then went for the cover on Guntep 1. . .2. . .Guntep kicked out!

Crash pulled Guntep up to his feet, only for Dan to knee him in the gut, and take him down with a White Russian Leg Sweep, with a kendo stick against Crash's neck! Dan stomped on Crash's body repeatedly before landing a falling elbow onto his sternum! Dan went for a quick cover 1. . .2. . .Crash kicked out! Meanwhile, Guntep and Kenny continued to brawl near a ring post, until Guntep surprised Kenny with a left hand, then rammed him face-first into the ring post! Guntep then shoved a dazed Kenny back into the ring under the bottom rope and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out! Guntep then stepped over to the weapons he brought into the ring…and picked up the stop sign! Guntep then raised the stop sign and sized up Kenny, who staggered up to his feet…

…AND SURPRISED GUNTEP WITH A DROPKICK, PLANTING THE STOP SIGN INTO HIS FACE! But Kenny landed on the mat face and head-first, forcing him to clench his head upon impact! Meanwhile, outside the ring, Dan speared Crash against a barricade before throwing him chest first into the ring apron! Dan then slid Crash back into the ring under the bottom rope. . .while Kenny crawled on top of Guntep for a cover! 1. . .2. . .DAN BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!

"It's a four-way fight in the ring, but Charlie and Deadpool are still over by the ramp! What's going on over there?" Early wondered as the match cut back to the ramp, as Charlie lumbered toward the barricade…

…WHERE DEADPOOL NAILED CHARLIE IN THE FACE WITH A BEER CAN! Charlie stumbled a bit, selling his head while Deadpool climbed onto the barricade in front of him, and turning around.

"Thanks for the beer, Joe!" Deadpool shouted, before looking in front of him, leaping off the barricade…

…AND SPEARING CHARLIE ONTO THE RAMP FLOOR! Deadpool went for the cover 1. . .2. . .CHARLIE KICKED OUT! pulled Charlie up and Irish whipped him up the ramp, sending him onto the entranceway! Deadpool ran toward him from behind and went for a Bulldog…only for Charlie to catch him and take him down with a Back Suplex! Charlie went for the cover 1. . .2. . .DEADPOOL KICKED OUT! Charlie pulled Deadpool up and slapped him in the chest with a massive chop! Charlie continued to nail the Merc With A Mouth with chop after chop…until he was backed up to the edge of the stage!

"Deadpool is reeling! Deadpool is reeling! He can see the end of the world from here!" Early cried, as Charlie pulled a small lead pipe out of his pants pocket! He swung it toward Deadpool's face…

…but Deadpool ducked! Deadpool then lifted Charlie's legs up from under him…

…AND GAVE HIM A BACK BODY DROP FROM THE STAGE ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR BELOW! Charlie landed flat on his back with a sickening thud, screaming in agonizing pain from the impact!

"BAH GAWD SAINT BLOOD CHARLIE ARAYA MAY BE INCAPACITATED ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!" Early exclaimed, as Deadpool raised his arms high above his head, taunting Charlie while backing up to the back of the stage!

"And now what's Deadpool doing?" Shake wondered. "Charlie's back may be split in half! Enough is enough!"

Charlie slowly rose to his feet, selling his back as he finally came to a standing position….while Deadpool bent forward and got into a three-point stance! "Check-80! One-20! BRADY SUCKS! BRADY SUCKS! HIKE!"

Deadpool then sprinted toward the edge of the stage….leapt off the stage…

…AND LANDED THE DEAD SHOT ON CHARLIE, PLANTING HIM HEAD-FIRST ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR, AND BUSTING HIM OPEN!

"OH MY GOD!" Early screamed. "That may be all she wrote! Deadpool may have knocked Charlie Araya out cold!"

Deadpool then weakly turned Charlie onto his back and went for the cover!

"That damn Merc is gonna steal the XCW Hardcore title!" Shake exclaimed before the referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CHARLIE ARAYA BIT DEADPOOL'S CHEEK! Deadpool rolled off Charlie suddenly, clenching his face!

"OW!" Deadpool cried. "You almost bit through the nylon! Who are you, Hank McCoy?" Deadpool then stood up and looked down to see Charlie…staring him down with the crazy eyes!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Early yelled. "What's going on with St. Blood?"

"I don't think he's St. Blood anymore, Early!" Shake declared, as Charlie shot up to his feet and charged toward Deadpool…

"I think he's become…THE HELLVIEW DEVIL!"

…AND TACKLED HIM THROUGH THE BARRICADE, BACK INTO THE CROWD! All the fans around them pointed down at Deadpool and Charlie in a crumbled heap and chanted "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"…until Charlie pulled Deadpool up, ripped a fan's seat out from under him and whacked Deadpool across the back with it! They continued fighting through the crowd until they came across a certain old man…

"The fight's coming my way!" said the old man. "It'd be heaven if Henry Wong were out here! Mmmmm…."

…AND CHARLIE TOOK MR. HERBERT'S WALKER AND REPEATEDLY WAILED IT ACROSS DEADPOOL'S BODY! Deadpool could only manage a quick kick to the leg, causing "The Hellview Devil" to drop the walker and falter a bit. Deadpool hit Charlie in the face with a couple right hands, then went for a clothesline…only for Charlie to counter with a kick to the midsection…AND GIVE HIM A PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR IN THE CROWD! Charlie went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 DEADPOOL KICKED OUT! Charlie couldn't believe it!

"The Merc With A Mouth and The Hellview Devil are beating the holy hell out of each other, and the fans are getting an up close and personal look at them!" Early said.

"Deadpool's folded up like an accordion!" Shake commented. "But what's going on in the ring?"

The match went back to the ring, where Crash pulled Dan up and nailed him in the ribs with a series of kicks! Crash then ran against the ropes behind him and sprinted toward Dan, slid under him and sent him flying onto the stop sign with a Monkey Flip! Dan winced in pain until Crash charged toward him, and brought him to his feet…only for Dan to shove him back a bit! Dan and Crash then got into a tie-up, with Dan putting Crash in a headlock and driving him toward the ropes…and taking him down with a bulldog on the stop sign after the bounceback! Crash clenched his head in pain until Dan went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CRASH KICKED OUT! Dan punched the mat repeatedly in frustration before pulling Crash back up to his feet and Irish whipping him into a corner near the ramp…but Crash latched onto the ropes and leapt onto the top rope, causing Dan to hit the top turnbuckle face-first! Dan stumbled out of the corner selling his face…

…UNTIL CRASH TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE CRASH AND BURN! Crash went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 DAN KICKED OUT! Crash screamed to the heavens in anger before striding over to the steel chair laying on the mat and picking it up, then wedging it in between the top and middle turnbuckles of the corner nearest the ramp. Crash then pulled Dan up by the hair and threw him face-first toward the corner…

…ONLY FOR DAN TO COUNTER WITH AN IRISH WHIP OF HIS OWN….

…but Crash leapt onto the top rope again! Crash remained perched on the top rope…only for Dan to sprint toward the corner before Crash could leap off again! Dan could only get to the second rope before Crash grabbed him by the hair and hit him in the forehead with a right hand! Dan, however, gripped Crash by the arm and pulled himself onto the middle rope!

"My God, Crash and Dan Kuso are fighting for dear life up on the top turnbuckle!" Early said.

"It's a short climb, but a long fall!" added Shake. "Who will be the first to take the plunge?"

Meanwhile, back on the mat, Kenny pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes, while Guntep pushed himself up to his knees. Kenny stepped toward Guntep and pulled him up by the back of his shirt, and threw him back-first into the opposite corner of Dan and Crash! Kenny then picked up the barbed-wire 2x4 Guntep brought into the ring and ran toward the corner, about to throw the 2x4 like a spear…but Guntep surprised Kenny with a drop toe hold, sending Kenny's face to hit the middle turnbuckle…AND THE BARBED-WIRE 2x4 FACE FIRST! Kenny covered his face with his hands as he rolled around the ring, letting out muffled screams of pain!

"OH MY GOD!" Early cried. "OUR HARDCORE CHAMPION MAY HAVE PUT HIS OWN EYES OUT, COLLIDING WITH HIS OWN BARBED-WIRE 2x4 AND THE TURNBUCKLE AT ONCE!"

Guntep then grabbed the barbed-wire 2x4 and pulled Kenny into the center of the ring…before locking Kenny into a Camel Clutch…WITH THE BARBED-WIRE 2x4 DIGGING INTO HIS FACE!

"AND THE TORTURE JUST CONTINUES!" Early screamed, as more blood streamed down Kenny's face! Kenny screamed in agonizing pain as the referee asked him if he wanted to quit. Kenny shook his head no as he tried to inch toward the ropes, but to no avail!

"THE PAIN MUST BE EXCRUCIATING!" said Shake. "Kenny's died many times while holding the XCW Hardcore title, but he will not die tonight, not at the XCW Summer Supershow!"

Kenny inched toward the ropes as Guntep pressed the barbed-wire 2x4 harder against his face…

…ONLY FOR DAN TO THROW CRASH OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH AN ARM DRAG, FORCING HIM TO LAND RIGHT ONTO GUNTEP, BREAKING THE HOLD!

Dan, Crash, Guntep and Kenny were all on top of each other in a crumbled heap in the center of the ring, as Charlie and Deadpool continued to fight in the crowd, close to the barricade nearest the ring!

"KUSO IS DOWN! CRASH IS DOWN! GUNTEP IS DOWN! THE CHAMPION IS DOWN, AND THE HELLVIEW DEVIL AND DEADPOOL ARE FINDING THEMSELVES BACK INTO THE THICK OF THINGS IN THIS HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHUP!" Early yelled unintelligibly as Charlie lifted Deadpool up onto his shoulders, ran toward the barricade…

…AND THREW DEADPOOL OVER THE BARRICADE, INTO THE RING APRON! Deadpool collided head-first into the apron with a sickening thud! Deadpool then cracked his neck…obnoxiously…before seeing Charlie climbing over the barricade! Charlie charged toward Deadpool, looking to punt him in the head…

…but Deadpool rolled out of the way! Charlie sold his foot in pain after it hit the ring apron, until Deadpool took down The Hellview Devil with a neckbreaker! Deadpool and Charlie were down on the ringside floor while Kenny, Guntep, Crash and Dan staggered up to their feet in the ring!

"My God, it looks like a car wreck out here!" Early observed. "There's weapons, the barricade has been destroyed, and there are six men in and around the ring beating the holy hell out of each other just to become the XCW Hardcore Champion!"

Kenny and Crash came to blows first, each of them trading right hands…until Crash surprised Kenny with a spinning wheel kick, knocking Kenny toward the ropes! As Kenny bounced back, Crash caught his head and planted him with a DDT! Crash went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 GUNTEP BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT WITH A KENDO STICK TO THE BACK OF CRASH! Crash winced in pain…before flipping back up to his feet, putting Guntep in a headlock, and taking him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Crash then shot back up to a standing position, and screamed toward the heavens, upon which the crowd's cheers rose to a deafening volume…while Crash stepped toward the corner with the chair wedged into it and climbed to the top rope!

"CRASH BANDICOOT MAY GAIN A SECOND VICTORY OVER XCW IN HIS CAREER HERE!" Early screamed! "HE'S LOOKING TO PUT THIS MATCH AWAY WITH THE WUMPA TWIST!"

"He can't get there from here!" Shake said. "He's way on the other side of the ring!"

Crash sized Guntep up…

…only for Dan to sprint up to the top rope again, and slug Crash with an uppercut!

"Crash was that close to a victory over all five companies here tonight, but the CCW Universal Champion has other ideas!"

Dan then climbed up one more step to the top rope…

…WITH THE RAZOR-BLADE TABLE BELOW THEM ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!

"…AND HIS IDEA MAY TAKE CRASH OUT OF THE EQUATION IN THIS MATCH!" Shake exclaimed, as Dan slugged Crash with an elbow to the face!

"Oh my God….no…no, come on, Dan!" Early bargained, as Dan latched onto Crash's side!

"NO!" Shake screamed…as Crash—GRAPSED ONTO DAN'S SIDE!

"Don't do it….DON'T DO IT…." Early said…until Crash and Dan leapt off the top rope…

"OH MY-GOD!"

….

….

….

….AND GAVE EACH OTHER SIDE EFFECTS THROUGH THE RAZOR BLADE TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE! CRASH AND DAN WERE SCREAMING IN AGONIZING PAIN, TWITCHING AND SQUIRMING FROM THE IMPACT!

"MAH GAWD SHAKE! CRASH AND DAN ARE DOWN AND OUT, LYING IN THE REMAINS OF THE RAZOR-BLADE TABLE!" Early exclaimed, as Crash turned to lay on his back…REVEALING A RAZOR BLADE STUCK INSIDE HIS LEG!

"MY GOD! This Supershow was given a TV-MA rating, and for good f*cking reason!" Shake exclaimed as Deadpool rolled up and slid into the ring, with Charlie Araya looking under the ring for a weapon. Deadpool then stood up and walked toward Kenny and pulled him up to his feet…until Guntep turned him around to face him, and clocked him in the face with a fist wrapped in a chain! Deadpool stumbled around the ring as Guntep charged toward him with another chain-wrapped fist…but Deadpool caught it, pulled an end of Guntep's chain, swung him around with the chain. . .until finally letting him go, sending him careening toward a corner…

…AND HIS HEAD COLLIDED RIGHT INTO THE STEEL CHAIR WEDGED IN BETWEEN THE TOP AND MIDDLE TURNBUCKLES OF THE CORNER!

"OH MY GOD!" Early interjected. "Guntep's got to have a massive concussion by now!"

Guntep stumbled around the ring in a daze, clenching his head as he tried shaking the cobwebs away…

…UNTIL DEADPOOL PISTOL WHIPPED HIM IN THE TEMPLE!

"AND GUNTEP IS OUT LIKE A LIGHT!" Shake exclaimed. "After being taken around the arena, and through the crowd, the Merc With A Mouth is back in control of this match!"

"AMERICA! F*CK YEAH!" screamed Deadpool as he went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99999 CHARLIE ARAYA BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER TO DEADPOOL'S BACK! Deadpool winced in pain as he rolled off Guntep! Charlie then went in for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.9999 KENNY BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT! Charlie rose up to his feet and stared down the South Park Extremist with a wide-eyed, psychotic stare!

"And the XCW Hardcore Champion may have angered The Hellview Devil at the wrong place AND wrong time!" Early said, as Charlie kneed Kenny in the face before Irish whipping him across the ring! As Kenny bounced back, Charlie picked up the sledgehammer…held it behind him like a baseball bat…

"STRIKE THREE!" Deadpool exclaimed from the top rope…

…BEFORE LEAPING OFF AND PLANTING CHARLIE WITH ANOTHER DEAD SHOT! Charlie rolled out of the ring before Deadpool could even attempt a cover! Deadpool then rose up and caught Kenny after he bounced off the ropes from another side of the ring, taking him down with an Alabama Slam onto a steel chair!

"WOOOOO!" Deadpool exclaimed to a mix of cheers and boos from the crowd…BEFORE PULLING HIS PISTOL OUT!

"And Deadpool is back in control once again!" Early exclaimed, as the Merc With A Mouth stalked the South Park Extremist, who slowly crawled toward the ropes. With his small hand, Kenny grasped onto the bottom rope, and pulled himself up to one knee with what little strength he had left. Kenny then reached up for the second rope until Deadpool came up right behind him…struggled to make it back to his feet in a daze—

"OH, CAN THE THEATRICS, AUTHOR!" Deadpool screamed toward the camera. "I GET IT, AND THE VIEWER GETS IT! HE'S WEAK AND I'M ABOUT TO BECOME THE HARDCORE CHAMPION! All it takes is a swing of my—"

-but then suddenly, Kenny took advantage of a distracted Deadpool, hitting him with an Inverted Atomic Drop that sent him careening toward the ropes…AND HIS HEAD AND ARMS DRAPED OVER THE MIDDLE ROPE! The XCW fans were on its feet as Kenny charged toward the ropes…

…AND NAILED DEADPOOL WITH THE 303! With Deadpool lying in the center of the ring, Kenny then leapt onto the top rope for a Flying Headbutt…

….

…

…

…UNTIL CHARLIE ARAYA CAME BACK INTO THE RING AND NAILED KENNY IN THE HEAD WITH DARLINE, KNOCKING HIM OUT COLD!

"OH MY GOD!" Early screamed. "HE KILLED KENNY!"

"YOU BASTARD!" Shake exclaimed, as Charlie dropped Darline and fell on top of Kenny for a cover! 1. . .

"The XCW Hardcore Championship…" Early began…

. . .

2\. . .

". . .rests in the hands of…."

. . .

. . . . .2.99999999999 CRASH BANDICOOT FROM OUT OF NOWHERE LANDED THE CRASH LANDING ONTO CHARLIE!

"WAIT A MINUTE! CRASH BANDICOOT! BAH GAWD WHERE THE HELL DID HE COME FROM?" Early wondered unintelligibly as Charlie rolled out of the ring, clenching his back in pain! Meanwhile, Crash crawled on top of Kenny for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!

The crowd erupted into a standing ovation as Crash Bandicoot shot up to a standing position after the bell rang!

"The winner of this match…AND THE NEW….XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HARDCORE CHAMPION…CRASH BANDICOOT!"

"AND CRASH BANDICOOT IS SOMEHOW THE NEW XCW HARDCORE CHAMPION!" Early screamed as the referee gave Crash the XCW Hardcore Championship belt, and raised his arm above his head in victory!

"My God! What a way to kick off the in-ring competition of this Supershow!" Shake said. "We saw a barricade get destroyed, two men go through a razor-blade table, Kenny McCormick get a faceful of barbed wire in mid-air, and Crash Bandicoot gains a second victory over XCW talent in his career!"

Crash started to stride over to a corner to raise the XCW Hardcore title above his head in celebration. . .

. . .UNTIL DEADPOOL STOOD UP TO HIS FEET RIGHT BEHIND HIM!

"Oh no you don't!" Deadpool said, grabbing onto Crash's arm! "We still have two and a half hours left in the show!"

Deadpool then raised his pistol for a pistol whip…

. . .but Crash socked the Merc With A Mouth in the midsection with a swift kick, then took him down with the Aftershock! Crash then spun out of the ring in a whirlwind as Deadpool, Charlie Araya, and Guntep Min charged after him, while Dan Kuso limped after the crowd, while Kenny's lifeless body laid in the center of the ring.

"And the 24/7 rule of XCW's Hardcore Championship is in effect, as it has ever since XCW's inception!" Early said. "Crash may have won the match, but will he survive the night?"

Crash leapt over the barricade, with Deadpool, Charlie and Guntep following after him, with Dan lagging far behind, with a razor-blade lodged in his back!

"We just saw a chaotic and destructive match…I shudder to think what will happen in the hallways of this arena with our XCW Hardcore title on the line 24/7, and our guests as psychotic as they are!" Shake commented, as Crash, Deadpool, Charlie and Guntep disappeared into the crowd until the show went to the backstage area, where Space Ghost held a large margarita.

"So, gentlemen…" Space Ghost said, turning to Force The Fox, GB, Zack Watkins, Commissioner Gordon, and Rugal. "The fight for the XCW Hardcore Championship has now made its way to the backstage area! Place your bets now on which company will hold the title by the end of the night!"

"I have $200 on Crash Bandicoot keeping the Hardcore title with UCA!" said Force, who placed a check in a bowl on Space Ghost's desk.

"Yeah right!" Zack said. "Guntep or Kenny Smith will be taking that title all the way to Peach Creek!"

"We're number one in the ratings for a reason." Commissioner Gordon said. "Having the XCW Hardcore title would keep us there!"

"You extreme assholes stole our Hardcore title!" GB said, finishing a shot of vodka. "Bringing the XCW Hardcore title to Animated would be nothing more than a fitting revenge!"

"Oh, please." Rugal scoffed before taking a sip of his margarita. "Have you people even watched UWE? Our roster will tear this place to the ground for the chance at being the XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"Yeah, speaking of that, Space Ghost, there are a lot of crazies with us here tonight." Force commented as he stepped toward the XCW Commissioner. "What will happen if things get so chaotic, that damage comes to the building? Adam West will kill you!"

Space Ghost looked down at his friend with a confident smirk. "Force, we've got a TV-MA rating, the building is secure, I'm the commissioner of XCW, and all of us are celebrating success with alcohol together. What will happen, Force? Tonight…chaos reigns!"

Space Ghost confidently looked toward something off-screen until the show went to a commercial break.

As the Summer Supershow returned from break, Tai and Sora stood in a hallway with Mario, who had the UCA World Heavyweight Championship belt draped over his shoulder. To a mixed reaction from the crowd, Mario lifted the UCA World title and held it into Tai's face.

"Hey Tai! You may be XCW's World Heavyweight Champion…but check-a THIS out! I'm-a the UCA World Heavyweight Champion, and have been for the past year! I've-a been the Greatest Champion Ever before this company even existed!"

"Congratulations." Tai said in a monotone voice.

"I know! And the six-man tag team match is next, so now TD Kennelly, Senji Kiyomasa, AND Asheel Din will learn that the Greatest Champion Ever and the Champion of Life….is-a ME…MAAARIOOOO!"

Mario strode confidently out of frame, leaving Tai and Sora annoyed, until Carl Brutanandilewski came up to them with a microphone in hand.

"Tai, Sora," Carl said, "tonight, you two square off against Ben and Gwen Tennyson in a battle that will determine who is the dominant male-female team in all of fictional wrestling. With thousands of fans in attendance, watching from home, and the top six companies in the ratings walking the XCW hallways, I have to ask you two, is there any pressure going into this match?"

"Well, Carl," Sora said, "…considering the matches we have lined up for us at Heatwave, and how historic this night is, Tai and I do feel a little pressure. But that's outweighed by our desire to give Ben and Gwen the beatings they deserve! Gwen and Ben have implied that the only reason we're back at the top of the wrestling mountain is because of our highly publicized marriage, when we regained our footing and resurrected our careers for one simple reason: training harder than we ever have before to become the BEST wrestlers in this company, AND this business! Gwen…you've said that we'll pay the price for crossing you and the "Best in the Universe?" Well, when we lock up in the center of the ring tonight, I will come at you with everything I have, and at the end of it all, the Alpha Female in this business will be standing over you, and you'll go from the Alpha Bitch…to JUST a BITCH!"

"Ben…" Tai said with the microphone up to his mouth, "…ever since you won the CCW Magnus Championship, you've revealed yourself for who you really are: an egomaniacal, insecure PUNK with no respect for anyone without your last name!If there's anyone that needs to snap back to reality, it's you and Gwen! You two think you are the best in the universe, and gods and goddesses of wrestling, but what you've really done is move hell over high water to cover up your imperfections! Your speech to Chaos was nice, I will give you that…but it's not going to make us forget about running over Autolycus, or your road rage incident. But there's one thing you two won't be able to cover up, and that will be your loss to Sora and I! We will beat you in the only way we know how, and by the end of the night, we will become the TRUE 'Best in the Universe!'"

Tai and Sora stared into the camera confidently until the show cut back to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is a six-man tag team match scheduled for one fall!"

"Just Close Your Eyes" by Waterproof Blonde played to a mix of cheers and boos from the crowd as Asheel Din stepped onto the stage.

"Introducing first. . .representing PCUW. . .from Peach Creek. . .he is "The Extreme Icon". . .ASHEEL DIN!"

Asheel walked to the ring with his fists up in the air until he slid into the ring under the bottom rope.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, up next we have a six-man tag team match featuring at least one man from five of the six companies here tonight, but Shake, we came close to not having this kid, Asheel Din, on the card!" Early said, as Asheel climbed onto a turnbuckle and screamed "Forget XCW, BRING ON TCW!" at the fans.

"That's right! Asheel Din's contract with Peach Creek Ultimate Wrestling is just days away from expiring, and despite making a vow to stay with PCUW until the very end, he's jumping ship to Total Championship Wrestling, TCW, for a million dollar contract! If you ask me, the Din family has enough money, and it's flat-out ridiculous for the Extreme Enigma to sell himself out like he's doing right now!"

"And this week's edition of PCUW will be his final appearance in Peach Creek!" Early added. "But right now, the former PCUW Television Champion, Hardcore Champion, and two-time X-Division Champion, will make his first appearance in an XCW ring, teaming up against two rising stars in this industry, starting with. . ."

"AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NOW!"

". . .this kid!" finished Early, as the "Ain't No Stoppin' Me" remix by Jim Johnston played! TD Kennelly walked onto the stage to massive cheers from the crowd.

"And his tag team partner. . .representing WWE: Animated. . .from Wagstaff City, Arizona. . .TD KENNELLY!"

TD walked down the ramp with an aura of confidence as he looked around the fans in the arena.

"Like Asheel Din, TD Kennelly has made a name for himself in his first year in this business." Early said. "He's a former Toon Intercontinental Champion, he's represented WWE's animated division at Best in the World, and at Wrestlemania, he's going to be one of the eight competitors in the Money in the Bank ladder match!"

TD climbed onto a turnbuckle and raised a fist above his head, saluting the fans.

"And another one of the competitors in that ladder match is none other than the "Best in the Universe", Ben Tennyson!" Shake added. "Tensions have ran high between the two of them in recent weeks, and who knows what'll happen between them as Wrestlemania gets closer!"

"And who knows what'll happen tonight, as TD and Asheel partner up with a man people call the most brutal human being in this business!" Early said, as. . .

"Bring It" by Trapt played! With the UCA Hardcore title belt over his shoulder, Senji Kiyomasa stepped onto the entranceway smirking as the arena became engulfed in red light.

"And their tag team partner. . .representing UCA. . .from Deadman Wonderland. . .he is the UCA Hardcore Champion. . ."The Crow". . .SENJI KIYOMASA!"

"Senji is one of the fiercest, most violent men not only in UCA, but in the whole industry of fiction wrestling!" Early said. "He's held the UCA Hardcore Championship for five months now, and he's demonstrated complete and utter destruction in every title defense!"

"Everybody's clamoring for a match between Senji and the current Toon Hardcore Champion, Claude Speed, but right now, Senji and two other men with extreme tendencies will face off against three other men who have to take equally extreme measures in their respective careers!" Shake said, as. . .

. . ."Blooddrunk" by Children of Bodom played! Kid Buu stomped onto the stage to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

"And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .representing UWE. . .from the Depths of Hell. . ."The Maniacal Destroyer". . .KID BUU!"

Kid Buu beat his chest with quick repeated fists and shot an Assault Rain blast into the air. It landed in front of him, sending small pink pyrotechnic explosions to surround the stage. . .but Buu walked through them, shrieking with intensity!

"And when you bring up extreme tendencies, look no further than the Deadly Games tournament winner, and former UWE High Flyin' Champion, Kid Buu!" Early said. "Like TD Kennelly, he's risen through the ranks of the UWE roster, and has made a splash in his career as a fiction wrestler!"

Kid Buu leapt onto the apron and shook the top rope so hard, he almost pulled it off a corner! Buu then climbed onto a top rope and screamed at the fans.

"But unlike TD, he's joined the Rookie Revolution and blown up the earth!" Shake added. "And he has shown no regard for his physical well-being! He's dove off ladders, turnbuckles, hell, he's flown off the top of a fifteen foot cage not once. . .BUT TWICE! Maniacal doesn't even begin to describe this kid, he'll do what he has to do to put his opponent away, and with the likes of Senji in this match, I shudder to think about what we'll see happen from Kid Buu here tonight!"

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song. Mario and Luigi ran onto the stage and down the ramp to boos from the crowd, with Luigi raising a hand in a peace sign towards the ring, while Mario wore the UCA World title belt around his waist.

"And his tag team partners. . .representing UWE. . .and UCA. . .AND XCW. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .the team of Luigi. . .and the UCA Heavyweight Champion of the World. . ."Super" Mario. . .THE MARIO BROTHERS!"

Mario and Luigi strode down the ramp, with Mario taking the UCA World title belt off and showing it off at the fans booing him along the ramp.

"These two men have done it all in every wrestling company here tonight, save for CCW and PCUW." Early said. "But right now, they have tough challenges on their horizon, starting with UCA Last Stand!"

Mario and Luigi entered the ring under the bottom rope and climbed onto opposite turnbuckles. Mario raised the UCA World title belt high above his head screaming "I'M THE GREATEST CHAMPION EVER! THE CHAMPION OF LIFE!" while Luigi raised a peace sign above his head.

"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "Mario is fresh off yet another successful World title defense at Royal Reckoning, only to have to defend it at UCA Final Clash in an Elimination Chamber match! But the 'Greatest Champion Ever' has it a little bit easier in UWE, where he will be the final entrant in their Rumble Royale! But that's nothing compared to the test he and his brother face at XCW Heatwave in Liberty City, where they will face D-Generation Ed and the South Park Four in XCW's first-ever Tables, Ladders and Chairs match with the XCW Tag Team titles on the line! They cemented their legacy in fiction wrestling long ago in WWE's animated division and in CWF, but tonight, they square off against three of the brightest young stars in this business, and team with one as well!"

The bell rang and the match began with Luigi facing off against TD Kennelly. Luigi and TD ran toward each other and met in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Luigi spun around behind TD and put him in a waist-lock before going for a back suplex, but TD dropped out of it and dropkicked Luigi in the back, sending him stumbling toward the ropes! As Luigi bounced back, TD bent down, going for a back body drop, only for Luigi to surprise him with a kick to the face! Luigi then grabbed onto TD's arm and Irish whipped him across the ring, taking him down with a Jawbreaker on the bounceback! Luigi went for the cover 1. . .2. . .TD kicked out! Luigi pulled TD up, only for TD to surprise him with a right hand! TD then hit Luigi with another punch combination before Irish whipping him toward the ropes. On the bounceback, TD took Luigi down with a neckbreaker! TD went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out!

TD pulled Luigi up to his feet, only for Luigi to surprise him with an eye rake! Luigi then slapped TD in the chest with a chop! Luigi continued slapping TD with chop after chop until he was backed into a corner. Luigi then Irish whipped TD toward the opposite corner, charged toward him and took him down with a huge clothesline! Luigi then ran against the ropes behind him and landed a running knee to TD's face before going for the cover! 1. . .2. . .TD kicked out! Luigi then pulled TD up to his feet and raised him high, before slamming him down with a scoop slam! Luigi went for another pin attempt 1. . .2. . .TD kicked out! Luigi then pulled TD up, drug him into his team's corner and tagged in Kid Buu!

"And here comes the psychotic, death-defying being that is Kid Buu!" Early said, as Majin Buu leapt over all three ropes, whipped TD HARD out of the corner toward the ropes and planted him down with a massive dropkick! Buu pulled TD up and Irish whipped him into his team's corner, with Asheel making the blind tag on impact. Asheel leapt over the ropes to a mix of cheers and boos from the crowd, and ran toward Buu, the two high-flyers getting into a tie-up in the center of the ring! Buu then spun around behind Asheel and raked his back, then took him down with a huge Full Nelson Slam! Kid Buu went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Asheel kicked out! Buu pulled Asheel up to his feet and took him back down with a back suplex! Buu then pulled Asheel up…only for Asheel to rake Buu in the eyes! Asheel then kicked Buu in the leg, and locked him in a front face lock before taking him down with a snapmare, then dropkicking him in the back! Asheel went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Buu kicked out!

"The Maniacal Destroyer" and "The Extreme Icon" are going at it in what has now become a battle between high-flyers!" Early said, as Asheel pulled Buu up to his feet…only for Buu to shove him into a corner! Buu then charged toward the corner and rammed Asheel with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Asheel fell into a seated position. Buu then backed up to the opposite corner and stomped onto the mat a few times…before charging back toward Asheel for a punt to the head!...

…but Asheel spun out of the corner, causing Buu's foot to collide into the center turnbuckle! Buu sold his foot in pain until Asheel leapt onto the ropes in front of him, and took down Buu with a Springboard Flying Forearm Smash! Asheel went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Buu kicked out! Asheel sighed before pulling Buu back up to a standing position…

…ONLY FOR BUU TO SWEEP ASHEEL'S LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HIM, AND SLINGSHOT HIM INTO THE CORNER BEHIND HIM! Asheel then stumbled out of the corner, selling his jaw, until Buu kicked him in the midsection…

…ran against the ropes…

…AND CONNECTED WITH A SCISSORS KICK! Buu went for the cover again 1. . .2. . .Asheel kicked out! Buu repeatedly punched the mat with thunderous fists in frustration!

"Buu thought he had The Extreme Icon put away with the Scissors Kick, but a victory there was not meant to be!" Early said, as Buu lifted Asheel to his knees!

"The victory might be his after this move, Early!" Shake predicted, as Buu charged toward Asheel, lifted his leg for a Shining Wizard…

….but Asheel ducked! Buu whiffed on the kick, spinning until he came to face Asheel, who leapt up…

…AND CLOCKED HIM WITH A PELE KICK! Both Buu and Asheel were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count, and they crawled toward their respective corners for a tag!

"It's been a hell of a match so far between these stars of fictional wrestling!" Early said, as Senji repeatedly slapped his hand on the top turnbuckle in front of him in anticipation for a tag!

"But which team will gain the advantage?" wondered Shake, as Mario stared down Senji and extended his hand out toward Buu for a tag! Asheel and Buu inched closer and closer toward their corners…

…extended their hands out…

…and successfully made the tags to Senji and Mario respectively! Senji and Mario entered the ring above the middle rope and charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring, and trading right hands!

"And here comes Senji Kiyomasa, getting into a fistfight with UCA's "Greatest Champion Ever" and XCW's Champion of Life, Mario!" Early exclaimed, as Senji and Mario continued to punch each other in the face until Senji surprised Mario with a left hand, knocking the Champion of Life back a bit! Senji then kicked Mario in the midsection before lifting him up and taking him down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Senji went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out! Senji pulled Mario up to his feet…only for Mario to slug him with an uppercut! Mario then pulled Senji's feet out from under him…AND LOCKED HIM IN THE BOSTON CRAB! Senji screamed in agonizing pain as the Champion of Life intensified the hold!

"And just like that, a fight between UCA rivals has gone in favor of their Greatest Champion Ever!" Early declared, as Senji inched toward the ropes…only for Mario to step toward the center of the ring, keeping the hold locked in! The referee knelt down and asked Senji if he wanted to quit, but the 'Crow' shook his head no, as he tried to squirm toward the ropes…

…extended his hand out…

…ONLY FOR TD TO RUN INTO THE RING AND BREAK THE HOLD WITH A SAVATE KICK TO MARIO'S HEAD! Mario fell to the mat face-first while Senji sold his back in pain…until Kid Buu charged into the ring and took down TD with a HUGE SPEAR! Buu looked down at TD with an angry stare…

…UNTIL ASHEEL DIN TOOK DOWN KID BUU WITH THE OMEGA EXTREME FROM THE TOP ROPE! Asheel raised his arms out at his sides and looked at the crowd, who gave him a mixed reaction as he spelled the letters T-C-W…

…UNTIL MARIO LIFTED HIM OFF HIS FEET AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE NINTENDOZER!

"The Nintendozer to Asheel Din!" Early cried, as Asheel rolled out of the ring. "How's that for an exit from PCUW?"

"It's the exit that he deserves!" Shake added, as Mario turned back around to face Senji…

…WHO WAS STANDING UP AND TOOK DOWN MARIO WITH AN STO! Senji went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 LUIGI BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT! Luigi rolled out of the ring before the referee could order him back to his corner! At ringside, Luigi cheered on his brother…UNTIL TD TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A FAMEASSER ONTO THE COVERED CONCRETE!

"OOOOOH!" Early screamed. "And the man they call 'Green Mischief' just got the living daylights knocked out of him by the rising star TD Kennelly!"

Meanwhile, back in the ring, Mario pulled Senji up and Irish whipped him toward the ropes! On the bounceback, Mario caught Senji and lifted him up for a Scoop Slam…

…but Senji dropped out of it behind Mario! Mario then turned around and ran back toward Senji…who grabbed onto Mario's arm…

…AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE WONDERLAND WHIP! Senji went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 MARIO KICKED OUT! Senji couldn't believe it! Senji then pulled Mario up by the overalls and threw him into a corner. Senji nailed him in the face with right hand after right hand until he fell into a seated position. Senji then pulled Mario up again and hooked both of his arms…

…only for Mario to kick Senji in the abdomen, breaking his grip! Mario then draped Senji's arm over his shoulder…lifted him up…

…and took him down with a Triple Rolling Suplex! Mario quickly went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SENJI KICKED OUT! Mario shot up from the cover, raising three fingers toward the referee, who insisted that the count was only two! Mario shook his head in disappointment as he strode toward the corner, and climbed up to the top rope!

"The Champion of Life may not have picked up the victory there, but by God, he may get it here!" Early said, as Mario raised his hand in a peace sign above his head, as the crowd gave him a mixed reaction.

"Mario's about to show Senji why he's the Greatest Champion Ever, by beating him on this Supershow…with the SUPER MARIO SPLASH!" Shake exclaimed before Mario screamed "CHAMPION OF LIFE!"….

….leapt off the ropes for the Super Mario Splash….

…ONLY FOR SENJI TO RISE UP AND CATCH HIM IN MID-AIR! SENJI THEN PLANTED MARIO WITH INVISIBLE BLACK!

"OH MY GOD!" Early screamed! "INVISIBLE BLACK IN MID-AIR! UCA'S HARDCORE CHAMPION SURPRISED THE GREATEST CHAMPION EVER…"

Senji rolled Mario onto his back and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"…ON HIS WAY TO PICKING UP THE VICTORY FOR HIS TEAM!" finished Early, as Senji stood up and screamed "YEAH!" after the bell rang!

"The winners of this match…the team of ASHEEL DIN...TD KENNELLY…AND SENJI KIYOMASA!"

TD and Asheel slid into the ring and came on both sides of Senji before the referee raised their arms in victory!

"In this battle between all sorts of stars in fictional wrestling, this slapped together team of Asheel Din, TD Kennelly and Senji Kiyomasa got the job done!" Early said, as the referee left the ring while Senji, TD and Asheel shook each other's hands…

"You're absolutely right, Early!" agreed Shake. "These three men are on the rise in their respective careers, and I have a feeling that even more good will come to them sooner, rather than later—"

…UNTIL KID BUU TOOK ALL THREE MEN DOWN WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY FROM THE TOP ROPE!

"-WAIT A MINUTE!" Shake exclaimed upon seeing the carnage! Kid Buu stood up from knocking the winning team down with a sadistic grin on his face!

"MY GOD THE MANIACAL DESTROYER LIVED UP TO HIS NAME WITH THAT SAVAGE RUSH!" Early screamed somehow intelligibly, as Kid Buu's theme song played all over the arena! Buu looked up at the fans with the same sadistic grin as they gave him a mixed reaction.

"No kidding, Early!" agreed Shake. "Kid Buu went through hell to not only a shot at the UWE Omega Championship, but also just to be here! Perhaps this is a message he is sending directly to Chaos The Hedgehog about their match at Barely Legal!"

Buu leapt onto a top rope and screamed "BUU WILL BE CHAMPION! BUU WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING!" repeatedly until the show went to a parking garage in the backstage area…

…WHERE CRASH BANDICOOT AND CHARLIE ARAYA WERE BRAWLING!

"Wait a minute!" Early screamed. "Less than fifteen minutes ago, Crash Bandicoot won the XCW Hardcore Championship, but our new champion is already learning the effects of the 24/7 rule that comes along with it!"

Crash and Charlie traded right hands until Crash surprised The Hellview Devil with a spinning wheel kick, knocking him up against the back of an ambulance. After hitting the ambulance, Charlie let out a scream of intensity as he charged toward Crash…

…WHO WAS SUDDENLY TACKLED DOWN BY TIDUS!

"Oh my God!" Shake exclaimed! "TIDUS? WHERE THE HELL DID HE COME FROM?"

Tidus then stood up and came face-to-face with Charlie, who lifted him up and took him down with a massive back-breaker! Tidus crumbled to the floor as Charlie lumbered over to Crash…

…ONLY FOR LIU KANG TO LEAP OUT OF NOWHERE AND LAND THE FLAWLESS VICTORY ONTO CHARLIE!

"AND LIU KANG OF CCW NOW, HAS ENTERED HIMSELF INTO THE FRAY!" yelled Early, as Liu Kang strode over to Crash, lifted him up to his feet…

…AND TOOK HIM DOWN ONTO THE CONCRETE WITH THE SHAOLIN BOMB! Liu Kang went for the cover, screaming "COME ON!" before a referee came into frame! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

Liu Kang stood up, and screamed in excitement!

"And now our Hardcore Championship is in the hands of Character Championship Wrestling's Liu Kang!" Early declared, as the referee raised Liu Kang's arm in victory…

"Congratulations, Liu Kang! You are the new XCW Hardcore—"

…ONLY FOR TIDUS TO SURPRISE HIM WITH THE BLITZ KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!

"NOOOO!" Early interjected, as Liu Kang fell to the floor chest and face-first, while Tidus crawled toward him selling his back for the cover!

"MAKE THE COUNT!" Tidus exclaimed, before the referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

Tidus stood up abruptly, briefly wincing from the pain in his back while the referee handed him the XCW Hardcore title belt.

"Congratulations, Tidus! You are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

The referee raised Tidus's arm in victory…until Charlie began to stir behind them! Tidus's eyes widened and his eyebrows rose in fear until he sprinted out of the room!

"That was easier than expected!" Tidus said while opening the door and dashing away.

Meanwhile, Charlie slowly rose up to his feet, looking around for the XCW Hardcore Champion, who was nowhere to be found!

"DAMN IT!" Charlie screamed, before stomping over to Crash…lifting him high above his head…

…AND THROWING HIM LIKE A DART INTO THE BACK OF THE AMBULANCE, WITH CRASH BUSTING THROUGH THE DOORS!

"DEAR GOD!" Early screamed. "Somebody get Crash some help back there!"

"Somebody get Charlie a straight jacket, too!" added Shake!

The referee ran toward the ambulance, where Crash laid prone inside until the show went to a commercial break.

As the Supershow returned from break, the camera remained focused on a shot of a woman's feet walking down a hallway in a pair of high-heel shoes. The camera tilted up her body and ended on a shot of her blue-eyed face, revealing her to be Jessica Wilson. She stood in a hallway next to Haruko Haruhara, who had a microphone in hand.

"Interviewer-in-training Haruko Harahara here, currently joined by Jessica Wilson, world-famous model, and now one of the many up-and-coming stars in the fiction-wrestling industry, here tonight representing UWE! Now Jessica, you are signed not only to UWE, but also to TCW, NGW, and WWL, but you have yet to compete in a sanctioned match in fictional wrestling. But there's been a lot of buzz about you in UWE's developmental territory, and NGW, so I have to ask you, how does it feel to be here at the XCW Summer Supershow, and why go from modeling your body to putting it on the line as a wrestler?"

"It feels great to be here, Haruko!" Jessica answered. "The superstars from UWE that I traveled with are nothing short of awesome, and XCW has been very supportive in welcoming us to Quahog, and to me in fictional wrestling. But I've made the transition from modeling to wrestling because not only is it in my blood, but also because the women's division has to make a change for the better. One night I was watching RAW with my father, the legendary James "The Jaguar" Wilson, and we both agreed that the female "wrestlers" we saw fighting were Barbie dolls and nothing more. Hell, they couldn't fight their way out of a box of tampons if they tried-"

At this time, Johnny Bravo came into frame and zipped to Jessica's side, sticking his face right into Jessica's.

"Hey…baby!" Johnny said while flexing his muscles. "You say wrestling is in your blood? You and I must have the same blood type: type S for Sexaaay. Heck, we're both good wrestlers, we're good-looking, and we have great hair! We're a perfect match! Hoo-hah—wah!"

Johnny jumped into a few karate-style poses, to an eye-roll from Jessica.

"In your dreams, Bravo!" Jessica said. "I'm beautiful, but I am so much more than that. And when I do make my debut in fictional wrestling, I plan to prove one thing: that a woman can be both beautiful AND a dangerous fighter at once! I've been trained in submission and technical wrestling, what fighting style are you a master of, dare I ask?"

Johnny looked at Jessica with a blank stare. "Looking good?"

SMACK!

Johnny fell to the ground with a small red handprint on his right cheek.

"My boyfriend kills people for a living, you know!" Jessica said. "And if he weren't defending his title in the next match, you'd get a lot worse than that!"

Jessica stormed off down the hallway, her very long, brown hair flying behind her, until Johnny rose up to his feet, rubbing his face with his massive hand.

"Hmmm…I'll show her! I am a wrestling master! I'm a former Toon European Champion…and….ummmm….uhhhh…"

"YUNA? Yuna, where are you? It's me, Tidus!"

Tidus suddenly came into frame behind Johnny as he strode down the hallway. Johnny's eyebrow rose upon seeing the XCW Hardcore Championship draped over his shoulder.

"By God, that's it! I'm gonna fight that tween-age surfer boy and become the XCW Hardcore Champion! That ought-a show the hot model that I'm a hardcore master! She better like it that way, too…hoo-woo-hah!"

Johnny snapped into various karate poses before running after Tidus, who had already disappeared from his field of vision as the show went back to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is a Hardcore match. . .for the TOON WWE HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!"

"We Are One" by 12 Stones played to massive boos all over the arena as Francis strode down the ramp with an angry look on his face, ignoring the fans while he carried a trash can full of weapons to the ring.

"Introducing first. . .representing WWE's Animated division. . .and the Bullies. . .from Dimmsdale, California. . .FRANCIS!"

"We're back live here on the XCW Summer Supershow, and Shake, I have a feeling this next match could be as brutal and destructive as the earlier match for the XCW Hardcore Championship!" Early said, as Francis slid into the ring under the bottom rope and set the trash can full of weapons down in a corner, before glaring around the arena at the fans.

"I shudder to think that, Early, but you may be right!" Shake agreed. "Francis has had a major beef with Claude Speed ever since he won the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship against Deadpool after the Royal Rumble! But when we were able to get a word with the Grey Bully earlier tonight, Francis had this to say about Liberty City's Lucifer…"

The show transitioned to a video clip, where Francis stood in front of a blue background, staring angrily into the camera.

"Claude. . .months ago, when you stole the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship from WWE's animated division, you started a war for yourself that you couldn't afford to have. You angered me, you angered our boss, and you angered all the men who won the Toon Hardcore title belt long before you. Mark my words: tonight, all of their anger and mine will be unleashed onto you. Along with that of a mutual acquaintance of ours, you will feel my wrath, the Bullies' wrath, and you will feel all of our pain, and you will be left broken and beaten, as we bring the Toon Hardcore title back to Animated, and restore the legacy of the championship that you tainted!"

The show cut back to the ring as Francis looked down the ramp in anticipation.

"Harsh, brutal words from the Grey Bully, Francis!" Early said.

"No kidding!" Shake agreed. "I have a feeling that Claude will react not with words, but with weapons!"

Pyro erupted on the stage, and "No Mercy" by Pharaoh Monche played! Claude Speed walked down the ramp to cheers from the crowd with a barbed-wire wrapped 2x4 in his hand, the Toon WWE Hardcore title belt around his waist, and the Televison title belt draped over his shoulder.

"And his opponent. . .representing XCW. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .he is Liberty City's Lucifer. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .and the Toon WWE Hardcore Champion. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"

"He'll react with weapons, all right, Shake!" Early said. "Because ever since Claude "stole" the Toon Hardcore title from Animated, his momentum has only increased to higher levels in this industry! He's also the current XCW Television Champion of the World, he's set to defend the Toon Hardcore title at WWE's Wrestlemania, AND according to the tabloids, he has a new beau in the form of model-turned-wrestler, Jessica Wilson!"

Claude then entered the ring through the second rope and climbed onto the second turnbuckle, raising the Toon Hardcore title belt and the XCW Television Championship belt above his head toward the fans.

"You're forgetting one other thing, Early!" Shake said. "He was eliminated from the Best of the Best tournament at the Best in the World pay-per-view in the first round! If you ask me, his downfall may be coming sooner than later!"

Claue then stepped off the turnbuckle. . .

"I wouldn't be so cynical, Shake! Claude's a brutal son of a bitch—"

. . .AND CHARGED TOWARD FRANCIS, WHO RAN TOWARD HIM WITH A CHAIN AROUND HIS RIGHT FIST!

"—AND HE'S ABOUT TO SHOW IT RIGHT NOW!" finished Early, as Claude took down Francis with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away at his face with thunderous right and left hands while the bell rang and the match began! Claude then threw Francis hard into the corner, caught him as he stumbled out, and slammed him down to the mat with a Scoop Slam! Claude then landed a falling elbow onto Francis before going for an early cover! 1. . .2. . .Francis kicked out! Claude grabbed Francis by the hair and pulled him up to his feet before slugging him in the face with an uppercut that sent Francis toward the ropes. . .only for Francis to surprise Claude with a clothesline on the bounceback! Francis then stomped a mudhole onto Claude before going for a cover of his own! 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out!

Francis then strode over to the trash can full of weapons and pulled out a kendo stick, raising it high above his head as he stepped back over to Claude. Francis then thrust down the kendo stick, only for Claude to roll out of the way, and rise up to his knees. Claude then dashed toward Francis and tackled him into the the corner behind him, nailing him in the abdoment with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Francis fell into a seated position. Claude pulled Francis back up by the arm, only for Francis to surprise him with a punch to the midsection with the chain-wrapped fist! Francis then nailed Claude in the temple with the chain-wrapped fist before throwing him over the middle rope and down to the ringside floor! Claude struggled to push himself up to his feet as Francis stood on the ring apron. . .sized him up. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A GUILLOTINE LEG DROP! Claude and Francis were both down on the ringside floor as the referee left the ring and moved to the outside!

"This match is only minutes old, and these two are already beating the hell out of each other!" Early cried, as Francis rose up to one knee. Francis then stood back up and pulled Claude up, Irish whipped him toward the steel steps. . .

. . .but Claude countered it into an Irish whip of his own, with Francis ramming into them with a sickening thud! Claude then strode toward Francis and pulled him up by the hair, then draped his arm over his shoulder. . .lifted him up. . .and slammed him onto the barricade ribs-first with a forward suplex! Francis clenched his gut in pain as he crumbled to the ringside floor, only for Claude to grab the end of the chain wrapped around Francis's fist, pull it to the left. . .and send Francis flying back first into the barricade! The chain fell loosely off Francis's hand as he made impact with the barricade, while Claude stormed over to his side and kneed him in the face, his head bouncing off the barricade behind him!

"Just like I told you Shake, Claude is a brutal competitor!" Early said. "Never underestimate how dangerous he can be in any match type!"

Claude then pulled Francis up and Irish whipped him into the announcer's table, Francis making impact with it abdomen-first!

"He's a danger to everyone around him!" Shake said. "I wouldn't believe what the tabloids say, how a two-bit thug like Claude Speed can have a model for a girlfriend is beyond me!"

Claude grabbed Francis by the hair and went to slam him face-first onto the announcer's table…only for Francis to surprise him with an elbow to the face! Francis then poked him with a thumb to the eye before slugging him in the side of the head with a right hand! Francis then pushed Plankton off a steel chair, then picked it up before striding toward Claude. He raised the chair high above his head. . .only for Claude to kick Francis's legs out from under him, and send him falling to the floor on his side! Claude then pushed himself up to his feet with the ring apron before picking up the steel chair and whacking Francis across the back with it!

"He may be dangerous, but he's also a man!" Early said. "And right now Claude Speed is proving his manhood by schooling the Grey Bully, Francis, in XCW's yard!"

Claude nailed Francis in the back with chair shot after chair shot. . .until Francis caught the chair in an act of desperation! Francis managed to wrestle the chair out of Claude's grasp and into his hands. . .and hitting Claude in the face with it! Francis then slowly pulled himself up to his feet and rammed the chair into Claude's ribs, before dropping it to the floor in front of him. Francis then picked up Liberty City's Lucifer. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A SCOOP SLAM ON THE STEEL CHAIR!

"My God, would you look at the strength of Bully Francis!" Early said before Francis went for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out, much to the chagrin of Francis!

Francis then pulled Claude up by his collar and threw him chest-first into the ring apron! Francis then picked up the chair again and nailed Claude square in the back with it, Claude screaming in agonizing pain! Francis raised the chair again. . .but Claude kicked Francis in the leg in time, then dropped him onto the covered concrete with a Russian Leg Sweep! Both Claude and Francis were down on the ringside floor!

"Weapons have been used in this Hardcore title match, Shake, but I got a feeling that these two men simply want to fight!" Early observed, as Claude and Francis staggered up to their feet. Claude and Francis met in a tie-up, only for Francis to rake Claude's eyes, and slug him back toward the ring post with an uppercut! Francis then lifted Claude up. . .slammed him spine-first into the ring post in front of him. . .

. . .and sent him flying onto the covered concrete floor with a fall-away slam! Francis went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CLAUDE KICKED OUT! Francis grimaced in anger upon standing up. . .and striding toward his chain!

"And Francis now going back to his weapon of choice!" Early called, as Francis picked up the chain and drug it behind him while walking back to Claude. . .

. . .AND WHIPPED HIM ACROSS THE BACK WITH THE CHAIN! Claude let out a scream of pain as Francis raised the chain again. . .and continued to whip Claude's back with it!

"Good grief!" Early cringed. "The Grey Bully Francis has gained the upper hand in this match, and in a big way!"

"He said Claude would pay for stealing the Toon Hardcore title from Animated, and he's getting it right now in the form of Francis's chain!" Shake added, as Francis whipped Claude with the chain three more times before turning Claude onto his back for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 CLAUDE KICKED OUT! Francis couldn't believe it!

"But it takes a lot to put the Toon Hardcore Champion down!" Early declared, as Francis pulled Claude up by his collar and threw him into the ring under the bottom rope. Francis then followed into the ring behind him, with the chain still in hand. Francis then grabbed the chain with his free hand. . .AND WRAPPED IT AROUND HIS RIGHT HAND WHILE CLAUDE. . .was reaching for something against the ring post?

"And Francis may have Claude dead to rights with that chain-wrapped fist of his!" Early called, as Claude pulled himself up in the corner. . .while Francis raised his fist!

"We're gonna have a new Toon Hardcore Champion—" Shake said, until Francis ran toward Claude. . .

. . .ONLY FOR CLAUDE TO HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH HIS BARBED-WIRE 2x4! Francis covered his face upon impact, only for Claude to kick him in the midsection and slug him with the barbed-wire 2x4 again, knocking him down and busting him open!

"And the dangerous Claude Speed has regained possession of his trusty 2x4!" Early said, as Claude quickly went for a cover! 1. . .

"…on his way…"

2\. . .

"…to retaining…"

. . .2.5 FRANCIS SLUGGED CLAUDE IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIN-WRAPPED FIST! Claude fell to his back before struggling to stand up. . .until Francis mounted Claude and hammered away at his face repeatedly with the chain-wrapped fist, busting the Toon Hardcore Champion open!

"Oh no. . ." Shake said, as Claude's eyes widened open sight of his blood!

"Francis may be beating Claude senseless.. . . .but he's also awoken his primal side!" Early declared, as Claude nailed Francis in the face with a headbutt! Claude then kicked Francis in the leg before nailing him in the face with a punch combination! Claude then Irish whipped Francis toward the ropes. . .

. . .ONLY FOR FRANCIS TO CATCH CLAUDE AND TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Francis struggled to pull himself up with the ropes on one side of the ring, while Claude staggered up to his feet on the opposite side!

"My God, this match has been back and forth!" Early declared, as Francis and Claude met in the center of the ring. . .

. . .ONLY FOR FRANCIS TO LIFT CLAUDE UP FOR THE GREYSCALE. . .

. . .but Claude dropped out of it, behind Francis and shoved him toward the ropes! As Francis bounced back, Claude charged toward him. . . .

. . .AND TACKLED HIM DOWN WITH A MASSIVE SPEAR! Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 FRANCIS KICKED OUT! Claude punched the mat in frustration before standing up and backing up a bit, taunting for Francis to get up!

"And Claude's looking to put the final dagger into Francis, and keep the Toon WWE Hardcore Championship in XCW!" Early said, as the crowd…began to boo?

"Claude may have finally won me over, Early!" Shake said. "All it takes now is the impact of his Bicycle Kick, and this match belongs to—"

"HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!" Early screamed upon seeing someone running down the ramp. He slid into the ring behind Claude, revealing himself to be-

"ARTHUR! THE PBS KID ARTHUR! WHAT THE HELL?"

Arthur suddenly put Claude in a head lock. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE FINAL CHAPTER!

"NOOOO! THE PBS KID AND ROOKIE REVOLUTION MEMBER ARTHUR JUST BLINDSIDED CLAUDE!" Early screamed unintelligibly as the rest of the Rookie Revolution, including Taiki Kudo, Johnny Cage, and their leader, Souichi Sagano, ran onto the entranceway and down the ramp to deafening boos from the crowd!

"And here comes the rest of the Rookie Revolution! DAMN IT!" cursed Early. "They're finishing what their buddy Arthur started!"

All the Rookie Revolution members ran into the ring and each of them stomped a mudhole into Claude!

"This is absolutely disgusting!" Early cried. "This is payback for rejecting their invitation, another act of rebellion! Add to it, they're weakening Claude for his match against Arthur at Heatwave!"

"No, they're not, Early! They're fighting for Francis's cause!" Shake said. "Claude stole Animated's title, and they want to set things right!"

Early stammered in disbelief of the comments from his broadcast partner as Arthur pulled Claude's prone body, upon which, Souichi grabbed Claude's head. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM WITH THE MAX DRIVE!

"MAX DRIVE CONNECTED! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!" Early screamed.

"Nobody can do a thing, Early! It's no disqualification!" Shake responded, as Arthur pulled Claude back up. . .AND INTO A T-KU-DO FROM TAIKI!

"THIS IS TOO MUCH! THIS DAMN REVOLUTION HAS GONE TOO FAR!" Early exclaimed, as Arthur pulled Claude up one more time. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM BACK DOWN WITH ANOTHER FINAL CHAPTER!

Arthur looked down at his Heatwave opponent with a smug smile as he and the rest of the Rookie Revolution slid out of the ring and ran back up the ramp!

"YOU'RE COWARDS! YOU'RE COWARDS, THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!" Early yelled. . .as Francis crawled toward Claude!

"No. . .the Rookie Revolution has laid Claude out! He may be out cold!" Early said, as Francis pulled Claude onto his shoulders. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE GREYSCALE!

"NOOOO!" screamed Early, as Francis draped his arms over Claude's body for a cover! 1. . .

"NO!" Early screamed!

2\. . . .

"NOT THIS WAY!"

. . .3!

"DAMN IT! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" Early shouted as Francis rolled off Claude after the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .AND THE NEEEEEEEW TOON WWE HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .FRAAAAAAANCIIIIIIIIISSSS!"

"THANKS TO THE ROOKIE GODDAMN REVOLUTION, CLAUDE SPEED IS NO LONGER THE TOON WWE HARDCORE CHAMPION!" Early yelled, as Francis let out a few laughs before the referee pulled him up and gave him the Toon WWE Hardcore title!

"And that belt is back right where it belongs in WWE's animated division!" Shake added, as the referee raised Francis's arm in victory, the crowd's boos reaching deafening levels! "I don't know if the Bullies have formed an alliance with the Rookie Revolution, but what I do know is that Francis will represent them well as their Toon Hardcore Champion!"

Francis left the ring, wiping the blood from the gash on his head as he strode up the ramp, passing Arthur with a blank stare at the entranceway before going backstage. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Claude began to stir, and slowly pulled himself up with the ropes!

"The damn Revolution may have even left Claude on the outside looking in at Wrestlemania!" Early said. "Who knows if Liberty City's Lucifer will still have a place in the multi-man Hardcore title match at The Grandest Stage of Them All?"

"I'm sure he will." Shake said, as Claude finally staggered up to his feet and turned toward the ramp, seeing Arthur standing at the entranceway. "His feud with Francis looks to be far from over, and he's had a spot in the match since winning the Toon Hardcore title. However, now that he's no longer champion, I don't think he deserves to go to Wrestlemania!"

Claude sneered at Arthur with a hateful, angry stare, while Arthur looked back at him with the same smug smile.

"Well, I disagree with you about that, Shake. . ." Early said. ". . .but there's one other thing I do know. . .at Heatwave, in Claude's hometown of Liberty City, with the XCW World Television Championship on the line. . .there will not just be First Blood. . .there will be BAD blood, and Claude looks like he plans to paint the walls of the XCW Arena with Arthur's!"

"Oh god. . ." Shake cringed. ". . .or the walls of the Hydrox Arena tonight!"

Claude stared down Arthur with a look of pure hatred until the show went to the backstage area, where Tidus ran down a hallway.

"YUNA!" Tidus called. "Yuna! Where are you?"

Suddenly, one of the locker room doors opened, and Yuna stepped into the hallway in her Final Fantasy X-2 attire!

"TIDUS!" Yuna exclaimed as she held her arms out while walking toward her friend. "It's so good to see you again!"

"It's good to see you, too!" Tidus said back, as he and Yuna held each other in their arms for a hug. Once letting go, Tidus stepped back to look at her, from top to bottom. "You look really pretty tonight!"

Yuna blushed. "Thanks! I always wear this to the ring—" Yuna suddenly gasped and pointed at the XCW Hardcore title belt draped over Tidus's shoulder.

"Oh my God! Are—are you the XCW Hardcore Champion?"

Tidus nodded before Yuna broke out into a smile. "Oh my God! This is exciting! If you hold onto it for the entire night, you could pull double-duty in UCA AND XCW! We'd be on the same roster! Come into my dressing room, I'll keep you safe for the night!"

Yuna opened the door to her room as Tidus's face lit up at Yuna's idea. "I KNOW! It'd be exciting, but Yuna…there's…something I want to tell you."

Yuna stopped in her tracks and shut the door, gazing into Tidus's eyes, wondering what he had to say. "What—what is it?"

Tidus looked down at Yuna, unsure of what to say next. "Well. . .you see. . .God, how do I put this—"

Tidus fumbled with his words until Yuna rested her tiny hand on his. "It's okay, Tidus. You can tell me!"

Tidus chuckled and cleared his throat, as the door of the dressing room behind him opened quickly from the inside…

"Yuna. . .I—"

. . .AND SOMETHING WHACKED TIDUS IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD, HIS FACE LANDING INTO YUNA'S CLEAVAGE BEFORE FALLING DOWN TO THE FLOOR!

Yuna looked down at her knocked-out friend, eyes wide and her hands covering her bust in embarrassment. Yuna entered her dressing room, slamming the door…while the man in the dressing room behind him stepped out from behind the door, with a baseball bat next to him, and his Pop-It in hand, revealing himself to be. . .

. . .SACKBOY!

"I don't believe it!" Early said in astonishment. "The underdog of UWE has not only robbed Tidus of his chances with Yuna. . ."

Then Sackboy pushed Tidus onto his back, and went for a cover, waving his hand toward a passing referee! The referee stopped in his tracks and made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

". . .he's also won the XCW Hardcore Championship!" Shake finished, as Sackboy jumped for joy, and the referee raised his arm in victory!

"Congratulations, Sackboy, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

The referee handed Sackboy the Hardcore title belt, and he posed triumphantly toward the camera!

"And with the sheer luck of being in the right place at the right time, Sackboy became the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion!" said the LittleBig Planet Narrator.

"All was well, until-"

-JIMMY NEUTRON SUDDENLY SLAMMED SACKBOY TO THE GROUND WITH THE ATOM SPLIT!

"OOOOH!" cringed Shake, as Jimmy pulled a now-groggy Sackboy up to his feet.

"I would apologize for squashing your chimera of surviving this night as the XCW Hardcore Champion. . ." Jimmy said, grasping Sackboy by the shoulder and looking into his eyes, ". . .but I cannot ignore the chance to possess that appellation!" Jimmy said, before knocking Sackboy down to the tile floor with the Brain Blast! Jimmy then went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And just like that, the XCW Hardcore Championship is back in the hands of CCW!" Early said, as Jimmy Neutron jumped up and down in celebration!

"Congratulations, Jimmy Neutron, you are the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion!" said the referee as he handed Jimmy the belt.

"Thank you. . .but upon first glance, this decoration requires an obscene amount of maintenance…" Jimmy said upon looking at the broken centerpiece of the belt, held together only by duct tape. However…

"NOT SO FAST, GIANT CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM CONE!" someone screamed off-screen, jolting Jimmy's focus away from the belt! Jimmy then turned around and sprinted down the hallway, with Johnny Bravo not far behind him!

"That's my belt you're holding, Soft Serve!" screamed Johnny as he continued to chase Jimmy off-screen!

"The chaos surrounding the XCW Hardcore Championship continues to grow as the night goes on!" Early declared.

"You're right!" Shake said. "I just hope it's still with us by the end of the night!"

Tidus and Sackboy laid prone on the hallway floor until the show went to a commercial break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, there's the first set of matches! As always, please let me know if there's anything I can do to improve my promo writing, or if anyone was written out of character, and I will go in and correct it! In the next chapter, Asui Hikaru and Nazz team up to face Sailor Moon and Lightning Farron, Spongebob has an open challenge, and Tommy Vercetti squares off against Thomas Ambrose! Who will win, what will happen, and how will the XCW Hardcore title change hands? Find out in the next chapter!
> 
> Until then, please READ AND REVIEW!


	34. XCW Summer Supershow: Part 2

Hey fans! Thank you all for the positive feedback on the last chapter. You guys rock! Here, Spongebob issues an open challenge, Asui Hikaru and Nazz take on Sailor Moon and Lightning Farron in a tag team match, and Tommy Vercetti squares off against Thomas Ambrose in the second part of the XCW Summer Supershow! I only own my championships.

A commercial begins on a closeup shot of black dress shoes standing on a sidewalk.

"I'm a lean, mean, green machine!"

The camera tilts up the man's body, revealing his legs wearing yellow dress pants.

"Got a hyperactive mayhem gene!"

The camera continues tilting up to the man's torso, revealing a white dress shirt and black tie under a yellow suit jacket.

"XCW's ratings have gone down the tubes…"

The camera continues tilting up the man's body, revealing his neck. . .

"With a guy like me, they will not lose!"

. . .until it finally ends on the man's head, with a fancy yellow hat on top of a green latex head, revealing the man to be The Mask!

"XCW claims to be extreme?"

Footage plays of The Mask running down the entrance ramp with Ace Ventura.

"They'll be just that with me on the scene!"

Footage plays of The Mask dodging punches and countering grapple holds.

"Doesn't matter the match I'm in, I put on one hell of a show!"

Footage is shown of The Mask bludgeoning his opponents with various weapons, including an anvil, a plexiglass window, and his signature mallet!

"Who am I, do you really have to ask?"

The Mask gave a jobber The Smokin' Finish (The Mic Check)!

"When you see my face, you'll know. . ."

A title card appears on screen that says in green lettering: "THE MASK: COMING SOON TO XCW!"

". . .I AM. . .THE MASK!"

The Mask suddenly appeared in front of the title card, looking right into the camera with his trademark green face and yellow hat.

"SSSSSSMOKIN'!"

As the Supershow returned from break, Claude Speed stormed down a hallway with a bandage on his head, his barbed-wire 2x4 in hand, and a look of pure hatred on his face.

"ARTHUR!" Claude screamed. "ARTHUR! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH?"

"Well, we're back live here on the XCW Summer Supershow, and ladies and gentlemen, Claude Speed is IRATE about the events that transpired before the commercial break!" Early informed, as Claude continued to storm down the hallway, sharply inhaling and exhaling in an attempt to control his anger.

"No kidding, really?" Shake asked sarcastically as Claude stomped down the hallway, saw Linus Van Pelt walking past him...

"Claude! Have you seen the Great Pumpk-" Linus asked. . .

. . .ONLY FOR CLAUDE TO GRAB LINUS'S BLANKET, LIFT HIM OFF THE GROUND AND SEND HIM FLYING INTO THE WALL! Linus crumbled back down to the ground in a heap, clenching his head and muttering "Ow…" as Claude continued his march down the hallway. . .

"DEAR LORD!" Early cried. "Claude has gone berserk!"

Claude strode toward a table with trays of food and other decorations on it. . .AND PICKED THE TABLE UP FROM ITS LEGS AND TOPPLED IT OVER!

"Good God!" Shake said. "That food was for our guests!"

Claude kicked a pie at his feet, causing it to slide across the floor while Jimmy Neutron stumbled toward him, covered in sweat and gasping for breath.

"Please. . ." Jimmy said, falling to his knees, heaving for air. ". . .please. . .I've. . .been. . .through. . .so. . .much—"

Claude suddenly pulled Jimmy up by the shirt. . .AND TOSSED HIM INTO A CLOSED DOOR, KNOCKING IT OFF ITS HINGES, AND SCARING SPIN THE HEDGEHOG INSIDE THE ROOM! Claude stormed off, mumbling obscenities under his breath, while Spin glanced at Jimmy, then at the mess of tacos he dropped on the floor.

"MY TACOOOOOS!" Spin screamed before pointing at Jimmy. "YOU WILL PAY!"

Spin then shot out of the chair, pulled Jimmy up to his feet. . .AND SLAMMED HIM TO THE FLOOR WITH THE PAIN BRINGER! Spin went for the cover, screaming "HEY!" at a referee passing by the room! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

Spin stood up immediately and picked the XCW Hardcore title belt up with a wide, psychotic grin on his face.

"Congratulations, Spin The Hedgehog, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

The referee raised Spin's arm in victory. Spin then shouted "YEAAAHHH!" right into the referee's face before running through the wall of his locker room and sprinting down the hallway.

"Well, whether we like it or not, Claude Speed just fed the XCW Hardcore Championship to Spin The Hedgehog!" Early said, as the referee stood alone in the completely wrecked locker room until the show went to the ringside area, where Early and Shake sat at the commentator's table. "And who knows what ELSE he'll eat, and what will happen with him as our champion!"

"You got that right. . ." Shake agreed. "But Claude's still the XCW World Television Champion! If you ask me, he's only crying over spilt milk!"

"The man just got robbed of the Toon Hardcore title, and possibly his spot at Wrestlemania, Shake!" insisted Early. "I don't blame him for being angry! Who knows if his spot in the Toon Hardcore Championship match at Wrestlemania will remain his!"

The show then cut back to the ring, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is an open challenge scheduled for one fall!"

The arena became engulfed in blue light as "Sell Your Soul" by Hollywood Undead played. Spongebob stepped onto the stage glaring at the fans as he walked down the ramp to massive boos from the crowd.

"Introducing first. . .representing XCW. . .from Bikini Bottom. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

"Spongebob Squarepants may be an icon of fictional wrestling, but if there's one thing that hasn't been iconic about him since his debut in XCW, it's been his attitude!" Early said. "He's blamed Tommy Vercetti for the demise of his former employer, World Wrestling Television! But while WWT is back on the air, Spongebob is still bitter that it went under to begin with!"

Spongebob stepped into the ring above the second rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, glaring at the fans maliciously.

"You're absolutely right, Early!" Shake said. "Spongebob is a multiple-time WWT World Champion, CWF Champion and Tag Team Champion, their current Hardcore Champion, and even a former UCA World Heavyweight Champion, winning the Royal Rumble match at Royal Reckoning '94 in his rookie year! But for Spongebob to have the same success here in XCW, he's gotta change his attitude, if you ask me!"

"And he'll be fighting with that angry attitude at Heatwave in less than two weeks from now in Liberty City, when he takes on Tommy Vercetti in a Liberty City street fight!" Early added. "But right now, Spongebob will compete in an open challenge that he issued against any member of the rosters of every company invited to the XCW Summer Supershow! Let's see what he has to say about his challenger!"

Spongebob stepped off the turnbuckle and looked around the arena as he put a microphone up to his mouth.

"Well, well, well. Here I am at the XCW Summer Supershow. . .in Quahog, Rhode Island! If you ask me, they could've picked a better place to host a Supershow than this landfill by the sea!"

The crowd booed at Spongebob's comment before he could continue speaking. "I mean, really! There's nothing interesting about it at all! Sure, it's had its moments, like a man fighting a chicken, a tank destroying a superstore, a chase for a greased-up deaf guy, and a robot made out of handicapped men…but when it happens every single day, like Squidward always failing in his clarinet career, it just becomes boring and sad to see!"

The crowd began to chant "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" at Spongebob.

"And you all wonder why I wanted this open challenge here tonight? Because as far as I'm concerned, I'm the only thing here at this Supershow that is considered 'super'! I look around at all the World Heavyweight Champions that are here tonight, and I see the gold they wear around their waist, and I think to myself that their gold looks better around one person's waist…and that's MINE!"

"Starting with the obvious…Eddy, the PCUW World Heavyweight Champion! You may be the leader of the Erupting Eds in CWF and PCUW, and the leader of D-Generation Ed here, but nobody's ever gonna forget about Power, Inc. and your run as Mister Eddy! I know that deep down, you'll always be a greedy, selfish prick, even worse than Mr. Krabs!"

"Then we go to Ben Tennyson, the CCW Magnus Champion. The kid's got an ego the size of Mount Doom, a cousin that craves TD Kennelly along with all the power in the world. . .and more insecurities than Jon Arbuckle! Even HE wouldn't run over the man who beat him for his own title, or make excuses for every time he loses fair and square!"

"Next, we have Chaos The Hedgehog, the UWE Omega Champion. A hedgehog. . .that thinks he's a God. Nothing more needs to be said."

"We've also got the legendary Mario, who is the current UCA World Heavyweight Champion, and the self-proclaimed "Greatest Champion Ever." As everyone here knows, the "Greatest Champion Ever" is standing in this ring right now, while Mario's looking more and more like Hulk Hogan every day! I've got more gas in the tank of my career, while the only gas Mario has…is the kind he gets from eating too many mushrooms."

"There's also the Toon WWE World Heavyweight Champion, Itachi Uchiha. He's beaten if he were to answer my challenge because he can't win without finding an easy way out! Handcuffing a man to the ropes in a Texas Gauntlet match? The Akatsuki and his challengers rivals interfering? Reversed bad calls? He's nowhere near super, and even HE knows it! He's so insecure to face me and put his undefeated streak on the line tonight, he didn't even show up to the arena!"

"And then. . .there's our current XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .Tai Kamiya. The one thing he's done here besides become XCW World Champion, is become defined. . .by his wife. That's all we know him for here…when we should know him for something else. If Tai wasn't main eventing against the Tennysons tonight, I would've loved to tell him that myself…with a fist to his face!"

"But that's not gonna happen. . .but it's no big deal. Because all I have said tonight says one thing. . .since the original demise of WWT, and I have built up a lot of anger over the so-called "icons" of this industry, so before I drag Tommy up and down the streets of his old stomping ground at Heatwave, I'm gonna dish all my anger out against anyone who dares to cross me! So if anyone icon in the back wants to come toe-to-toe against me, the Showstoppin' Sponge, the 2011 Superstar of the Year, and the SOLE ICON in this industry-"

Suddenly, the following came from the titantron. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."GET OVER HERE!"

The crowd erupted into thunderous cheers as. . .

. . ."Walk Away From The Sun" by Seether played!

"HOLY SHIT!" exclaimed Shake, as Spongebob stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening as he looked up the ramp!

"OH MY! YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Early screamed, as the lights flickered blood red and yellow! Spongebob looked up the ramp…and saw someone wearing yellow on the entranceway. The man nodded down at him before staring Spongebob dead in the face. . .revealing himself to be—

"SCORPION! SCORPION!" Early yelled unintelligibly. "THE ICON OF UWE IS HERE, AND HE'S ANSWERING SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS'S OPEN CHALLENGE!"

"OH MY GOD!" Shake exclaimed, as Scorpion raised his fists into the air, forcing pyro to go off behind him! He then strode down the ramp, his white, soulless eyes never looking away from Spongebob, who took a few steps forward in excitement!

"And his opponent. . ." Plankton announced, ". . .representing UWE. . .from the Netherrealm. . ."The Icon of UWE". . .SCORPION!"

"SCORPION MAY BE A MEMBER OF THE XCW ROSTER, BUT HE'S KNOWN MOST AS THE ICON OF UWE!" Early shouted from the excitement. "He won the UWE Rumble Royale as its number one entry, held the UWE Duos title and UWE Omega title at the same time, and was UWE's first-ever Grand Slam Champion!"

Scorpion entered the ring above the second rope, glaring at Spongebob until he climbed onto a turnbuckle and raised his fists above his head, looking around at the fans cheering for him!

"You got all that right!" Shake agreed. "And he's not missing the opportunity to make himself known in an XCW arena by answering Spongebob's open challenge! But keep in mind that Scorpion suffered a horrific neck injury many years ago after winning the Omega Title at Wrestlenation. Here's hoping Scorpion is at 100% here tonight!"

"And I'm willing to bet that Spongebob is more than ready and eager to fight now, because he'll have the opportunity to finally defeat his long-time UWE rival!" Early added. "In 1998, Spongebob declared he was better than Scorpion and deserved to be on the main event card, resulting in a long feud between the two. . .and Scorpion coming out of it undefeated against the Showstoppin' Sponge! Scorpion sees Spongebob's open challenge as not only an easy victory, but also as a way of telling our Commissioner Space Ghost that he deserves a better look in XCW!"

Scorpion stepped off the turnbuckle and turned around to face Spongebob, who raised his fists up with apprehension as the bell rang and the match began! Scorpion charged toward Spongebob and tackled him down to the mat before bludgeoning him with furious right hands! Scorpion then pulled Spongebob up, the crowd still on its feet, and threw him into the corner before ramming him in the sternum with a shoulder thrust! Scorpion then Irish whipped Spongebob HARD toward the opposite corner. Spongebob bounced out of it. . .only to receive a HUGE clothesline from Scorpion! Scorpion then went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Spongebob kicked out!

Scorpion grabbed Spongebob and pulled him up to his feet…only for Spongebob to whack him in the chest with a karate chop! The crowd booed in unison with each chop as Spongebob continued slapping Scorpion in the chest until he was backed up against the ropes. Spongebob went for a clothesline. . .but Scorpion ducked, causing Spongebob to fly over the top rope and onto the ring apron! Spongebob landed onto the apron on his two feet…

…ONLY FOR SCORPION TO SHOULDER TACKLE SPONGEBOB OFF THE APRON! Spongebob landed on the protected concrete floor with a sickening thud, selling his shoulder in pain! Scorpion then climbed onto the top rope. . .waited for Spongebob to stand up. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM BACK DOWN WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY! Scorpion rolled off "The Showstoppin' Sponge" and caught his breath while the referee began the ten count!

"It's not that often you see Scorpion go high-risk, but when he does, it shows that he means business! And business has picked up in his match against Spongebob Squarepants!"

Scorpion slowly rose up to his feet and pulled Spongebob up to his feet before slugging him in the chest with a throat thrust. Scorpion then threw Spongebob back toward the ring…only for him to collide face-first into the ring post! Scorpion then grabbed the back of his head and rammed his face into the ring post a second time. . .AND THEN A THIRD, BUSTING HIM OPEN! As the referee's count reached five, Scorpion slid Spongebob into the ring under the bottom rope, and followed in after him before going for a cover! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .SPONGEBOB PUNCHED SCORPION IN THE FACE!

"Spongebob's bleeding already in this battle of icons, but quickly retaliated with that right hand!" Early said, as Spongebob rose back up to his feet…and viciously slapped Scorpion in the face, to massive boos from the crowd!

"And he's gonna need that attitude when he fights Tommy Vercetti on the streets of his hometown at Heatwave!" Shake added, as Spongebob pulled Scorpion up and put him in a headlock while the crowd chanted "SPONGEBOB SUCKS! SPONGEBOB SUCKS!" Spongebob then dove forward and took Scorpion down with a bulldog! Spongebob then pulled Scorpion's head up, only to slug him right in the cheek with a right hand! Spongebob then drug Scorpion toward a corner and pulled him up, then rammed him face-first into the top rope! Spongebob continued to slam Scorpion face-first into the turnbuckle padding…for not two, not three…but FIVE TIMES, Scorpion falling to the mat upon the final impact! Spongebob then ran against the ropes behind him and landed a Leg Drop onto the UWE Icon! Spongebob then went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Scorpion kicked out!

Spongebob pulled Scorpion up to his feet…only for Scorpion to surprise Spongebob with an uppercut, sending the "Showstoppin' Sponge" backwards a bit. Scorpion then leapt toward Spongebob, going for a Headlock Driver…but Spongebob caught him in time to take him down with a Flapjack, Scorpion's face nailing the top turnbuckle in front of him! Scorpion sold his head and neck in pain…until Spongebob took Scorpion down with a swinging neckbreaker! Scorpion held his neck in pain while Spongebob went for another cover! 1. . .2. . .Scorpion kicked out!

"Dear Lord! Now Spongebob is going after Scorpion's surgically repaired neck! It took thirteen years for it to heal, and Spongebob wants it to snap again!" Early cried, as Spongebob began to choke Scorpion out! The referee dashed toward Spongebob and ordered him to stop, but to no avail! The referee began the five count, with Spongebob finally stopping once it reached four. Spongebob then stomped on the back of Scorpion's neck before standing over him and locking in a camel clutch! Scorpion roared in pain under his mask as Spongebob intensified the hold!

"And Spongebob now using his old rival's favorite XCW submission move against him in this open challenge!" Early observed.

"He could very well break his neck here, Early!" Shake suggested as the referee knelt down and asked Scorpion if he wanted to quit. The Icon of UWE shook his head no as he wormed closer to the ropes…

…AND ROLLED ONTO HIS SIDE, FORCING SPONGEBOB TO BREAK THE HOLD! Spongebob then crawled toward Scorpion and rolled him onto his back for a pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SCORPION KICKED OUT! Spongebob couldn't believe it!

"And despite all the damage to the neck, Scorpion is STILL in this thing!" Early declared, as Spongebob pulled Scorpion up to his feet with a look of fury on his face!

"He returned to UWE with a vengeance, and he looks to make his mark in XCW by any means necessary!" Shake said, as Spongebob whacked Scorpion with a series of karate chops! Spongebob then Irish whipped Scorpion against the ropes. . .only for Scorpion to knock Spongebob down with a shoulder block on the bounceback! Scorpion then ran against the ropes and landed a rolling elbow to Spongebob's sternum! Scorpion then went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SPONGEBOB'S FOOT WAS ON THE ROPES! Scorpion rose up from the cover, looking up at the ceiling with disappointment. Scorpion then pulled Spongebob up to his feet and nailed him in the chest with another throat thrust, then draped his arm over his back. . .and took him down with a vertical suplex! After a few angry stomps, Scorpion ran against the ropes to his left. . .and on the bounceback, went for a rolling senton. . .

. . .but Spongebob rolled out of the way, causing Scorpion to land HARD on the mat! Scorpion sold his back in pain as Spongebob pulled him up to his feet. . .but Scorpion fought out of Spongebob's grip! Scorpion slugged Spongebob with a right hand. . .but Spongebob came right back with a karate chop! Scorpion followed with another right hand, but Spongebob surprised him with another karate chop! Scorpion and Spongebob continued hitting each other, with the crowd cheering "YAY!" in unison with Scorpion's punches, and "BOO!" in unison with Spongebob's chops! They continued punching each other until Scorpion finally blocked one of Spongebob's chops, then kicked him in the midsection and took him down with a DDT! Scorpion went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT! Scorpion couldn't believe it! Scorpion pulled Spongebob up to his feet. . .only for Spongebob to suddenly rake Scorpion's eyes! As the crowd jeered Spongebob's move, Spongebob kneed Scorpion in the face before putting him in a headlock. . .and taking him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Spongebob then rammed a falling elbow into Scorpion's sternum before going for a cover, with his feet on the ropes for leverage! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SCORPION KICKED OUT! Scorpion suddenly shot up to his knees, staring down Spongebob with his white, soulless eyes!

"And the Icon of UWE did not like that maneuver one bit!" Early observed, as Scorpion leapt up toward Spongebob, only for Spongebob to spin out of the way, causing the UWE Icon to land face-first into the corner! Scorpion sold his face in pain until Spongebob shoved him back into the corner, and threw him out of it with a T-Bone suplex! Spongebob went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SCORPION KICKED OUT! Spongebob glared at Scorpion with furious eyes!

"Spongebob is visibly frustrated!" Shake said. "He's tried almost everything to take down the UWE Icon Scorpion!"

Spongebob then grabbed Scorpion's legs. . .

"They've fought around the ringside area, Spongebob's tried cheating, and he's still fighting him to the bitter end! But what's the Showstoppin' Sponge gonna do here?" wondered Early. . .

. . .AS SPONGEBOB LOCKED IN THE SCORPION DEATH LOCK! Scorpion screamed in agonizing pain under his mask as Spongebob intensified the Sharpshooter!

"BAH GAWD!" screamed Early. "SPONGEBOB IS USING SCORPION'S OWN ICONIC SUBMISSION MOVE AGAINST HIM! HE'LL DO ANYTHING TO DEFEAT HIS LONG-TIME RIVAL!"

The referee knelt down and asked Scorpion if he wanted to quit. Scorpion shook his head no as he crawled toward the ropes. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .BUT SPONGEBOB WALKED INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING, KEEPING THE HOLD ONTO SCORPION!

"So close, but yet, so far!" Early declared. "Will Scorpion tap out to his own finishing move?"

"How embarrassing would it be if the Icon of UWE tapped out to his own finishing move?" wondered Shake. "He'll wish he didn't answer Spongebob's challenge!"

Spongebob screamed "I KNOW I CAN BEAT YOU!" while Scorpion roared in agonizing pain as he tried to worm toward the ropes, but to no avail! Scorpion collapsed onto the mat. . .almost unresponsive. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL HIS LEGS FOUGHT OUT OF SPONGEBOB'S GRASP! With his footing restored, Scorpion then swept Spongebob's feet out from under him. . .

. . .AND LOCKED HIM INTO THE SCORPION DEATH LOCK!

"Nobody in this business knows that move better than Scorpion!" Early declared. "He made that opening, and now finds himself back in control in this one-on-one matchup!"

Scorpion intensified the hold while Spongebob screamed in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked Spongebob if he wanted to quit, while the Showstoppin' Sponge responded with a quick "F*CK YOU!" Spongebob inched his way toward the ropes. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .

. . .wormed closer. . .

. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY GRABBED A HOLD OF THE BOTTOM ROPE!...BUT SCORPION DIDN'T LET GO OF THE HOLD!

"Spongebob's given Scorpion hell over the years in UWE, and now he's looking to punish him for stealing his finishing submission maneuver!" Early observed, as Scorpion roared under his mask while the referee began the five count! Scorpion finally let go once the count reached four, and pulled Spongebob up to his feet in the center of the ring, and Irish whipped him HARD into a corner. . .before taking him down with the Stinger Splash! Spongebob stumbled out of the corner in a daze. . .

. . .UNTIL SCORPION TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A STANDING SHIRANUI! Scorpion went for the cover 1. . .

"And that may be all she wrote. . ."

2\. . .

"For the Showstoppin'. . ."

. . .2.9999999 SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT! Scorpion looked down at his adversary with the same angry, white eyes before grabbing the back of his head and pulling him up to stare him down face-to-face. . .

. . .before putting him in position for the Scorpion Death Drop. . .

. . .BUT SPONGEBOB SURPRISED HIM WITH A LOW BLOW! The referee never saw it!

"AND SPONGEBOB GODDAMN SQUAREPANTS AVOIDS THE SCORPION DEATH DROP WITH THE DIRTIEST OF TACTICS!" Early yelled, before Spongebob hooked Scorpion's leg and head. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM BACK DOWN TO THE MAT WITH ANOTHER T-BONE SUPLEX, DROPPING HIM RIGHT ONTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! Scorpion sold it in excruciating pain!

"And Spongebob is taking advantage once more on the surgically repaired neck!" exclaimed Early before Spongebob looked at the crowd and screamed "WWT FOREVER!" to massive boos from the audience! Spongebob then pulled Scorpion up. . .rested him on his shoulders. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE TIDAL WAVE! Spongebob then fell down for a cover! 1. . .

"That's gotta be it here!"

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.9999999999 SCORPION KICKED OUT! Spongebob looked down at his adversary, his left eye twitching in frustration!

"And Spongebob to have had just about enough of the Icon of UWE!" Early declared, as Spongebob stepped toward the referee and shouted at him. The referee insisted that the count was only two. . .

. . .ONLY TO RECEIVE A PUNCH TO THE FACE BY SPONGEBOB!

"OH COME ON!" Early cried, as the referee fell to the mat. "That's completely unnecessary!"

"Yeah! The referee should've counted to three instead of 2.99!" Shake insisted, as Spongebob rolled out of the ring and picked up a steel chair from the ringside area!

"Spongebob has claimed to have adopted XCW's extreme attitude!" Early said. "But if you ask me, he's nothing more than an extreme asshole!"

Spongebob then slid back into the ring and rested the steel chair under Scorpion's head, then pulled him up to his feet before kicking him in the midsection!

"And he's about to do away with Scorpion in the same way he established himself in XCW!" Shake called, while the crowd began to cheer upon recognizing someone running down the ramp.

"NO! BAH GAWD WHO KNOWS WHAT KIND OF DAMAGE THAT'LL DO TO HIS NECK? DON'T DO IT, SPONGEBOB!" screamed Early, before Spongebob lifted Scorpion up. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND RECEIVED A CHAIR SHOT TO THE BACK FROM TOMMY VERCETTI!

"Wait a minute! It's Tommy Vercetti!" Early cried. "What the hell is he doing out here?"

Spongebob let out a scream of pain, selling his back while dropping Scorpion to his feet. Tommy quickly slid out of the ring, taunting Spongebob, who yelled obscenities at him.

"I think he's had enough of Spongebob trying to steal a win from Scorpion, and of his lies about him and every World Champion here, Early!" Shake assumed. "And he wants to make Spongebob look like a fool in front of all these people!"

Spongebob and Tommy continued their war of words until Spongebob turned around. . .

. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A MASSIVE SPEAR FROM SCORPION!

"AND SCORPION TAKES DOWN THE SHOWSTOPPIN' SPONGE WITH A SPEAR!" Early screamed unintelligibly as Scorpion shot back up to his feet! With the referee slowly rising up, and the crowd on its feet, Scorpion took a few steps back. . .and screamed. . ."GET OVER HERE!"

"And Scorpion telling Spongebob that the end is near!" Early declared, as Spongebob rolled onto his chest and struggled to pull himself up with the ropes! Scorpion stalked Spongebob, who grabbed onto a rope. . .slowly pulled himself up to his feet. . .and turned around to face his opponent. Spongebob charged toward Scorpion to drive him against the ropes. . .

. . .but Scorpion met him with a kick to the midsection. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM WITH THE FATALITY!

"THE FATALITY CONNECTS!" screamed Early, as Scorpion went for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!

Scorpion got up from the cover and raised a fist high in the air as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .SCORPION!"

"AND THAT FATALITY PUTS A FOOTNOTE ON A FLAWLESS VICTORY FOR SCORPION!" Early declared, as the referee raised Scorpion's arm above his head in victory, while Spongebob stirred and came back to consciousness.

"This was anything but flawless, Early!" Shake said. "If Tommy Vercetti hadn't interfered and distracted Spongebob, Scorpion would be done for right now!"

While Scorpion celebrated in the ring, Spongebob looked through the ropes up the ramp to see Tommy Vercetti with a wide, satisfied grin on his face.

"Tommy wanted to make Spongebob look like a fool tonight on the XCW Summer Supershow, and by God, he succeeded, and helped Scorpion when he was on the verge of not only getting knocked out, but could've jeopardized his surgically repaired neck!" Early said. "But Scorpion proved himself to be in top physical condition with a victory against the Showstoppin' Sponge! What will happen to Scorpion when he returns to UWE?"

"And what will happen when Spongebob and Tommy are let loose on the streets of Liberty City in the Liberty City Street Fight at Heatwave?" wondered Shake, while Spongebob stared Tommy down with an angry glare until the show cut to the backstage area.

In a hallway, Garfield and Jon Arbuckle stood next to Carl Brutanandilewski, who had a microphone in hand.

"Garfield, Jon Arbuckle. . ." Carl said, ". . .at Heatwave, you get a rematch for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship against Tai Kamiya in a Last Man Standing match, but tonight, you will square off against the current UWE Omega Champion, Chaos The Hedgehog. He likes to call himself the "God of Destruction", do you have anything to say about him and his claim?"

Jon Arbuckle pulled the microphone out of Carl's grasp and spoke into it, with Garfield staring menacingly above him.

"Chaos. . .is a common theme for this night. Chaos reigns in this city of Quahog, these hallways, in our locker rooms, and it certainly will when he and Chaos clash. There is no doubt that he's one of the best World Champions in this company. He defeats his opponents with no mercy. . .just like Garfield. He has an appetite for destruction, just like Garfield. And everywhere he goes. . .is left in ruins after he leaves. . .just like Garfield. So the Monster of XCW you see above me right now knows exactly who he's facing."

"But if there is one thing that he is NOT facing. . .is a God. You see, in the history of battles between Gods and Monsters, the Gods have always came out on top in the most mythical of ways, an example being the battle between Zeus and Typhon. Zeus and the Gods had to turn into a variety of animals to hide from Typhon while he was on his path of annihilation. Zeus and Typhon would eventually fight in a battle that cost Zeus his arms and legs…but only for a brief moment, as his allies came to his aid, returned him his limbs and tendons, and Zeus was able to press Typhon under a volcano. It is said to this day that Typhon is the source of the fire and lava of said volcano…but that is a mere myth, like Chaos's asinine claim to be a God!"

"If Chaos has any mythical powers of the sort, they will not be enough to tame XCW's own Hercules! He doesn't have the abilities of the Greek Gods before him. . .and he certainly doesn't have the allies that Zeus had to aid him in times of anguish! Tonight, Garfield will exploit it all, to all of Quahog, to all the companies in this business, and to the entire fictionverse, and reveal the "God of Destruction" for who he really is: a mere MORTAL! And once he does this, he will go on to squash the urchin Tai Kamiya, and reclaim his prize of the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, and prove himself to be more than just a monster. . .Garfield will prove himself. . .to be a TRUE. . .GOD!"

Jon Arbuckle and Garfield stared angrily into the camera until the show cut to a different part of the backstage area, where Spin the Hedgehog ran down the hallway, his face darting in every direction, until he came across a buffet full of food. Spin darted toward the buffet and began shoveling every tray of food into his mouth until Johnny Bravo, with a referee at his side, stomped toward him.

"Hey, Spinny!" Johnny said. Spin just ignored him, completely focused on stuffing his face.

"All that food looks pretty appetizing…" Johnny said, glancing at the buffet. "But you know what it's missing?"

Johnny turned to look at Spin, who was still eating.

"A side dish of PAIN!"

Johnny then karate kicked Spin in midsection before putting him in a powerbomb position. . .raising him high above his head. . .

. . .AND HITTING HIM WITH THE BRAVO BOMB (Celtic Cross) ONTO THE FLOOR! Johnny then went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And the XCW Hardcore Championship is back in the hands of XCW!" Early said, as the referee handed Johnny Bravo the Hardcore title belt!

"Congratulations, Johnny Bravo, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"Wiggy!" Johnny said before the referee raised his arm in victory. "Now I gotta find that model and show her Imma master. . .not of parkour. . .but of hardcore! Hoo-woo-hah-"

Johnny snapped into a few karate-style poses. . .

. . .UNTIL CHARLIE ARAYA GRABBED HIM FROM BEHIND AND SLAMMED HIM DOWN WITH A FULL NELSON SLAM THROUGH THE BUFFET! Johnny shouted in pain until Charlie grabbed Johnny by the hair and pulled him up to his feet!

"No…no…not the hair! Not the hair! It's perfect—" Johnny pleaded, until Charlie set up a hot buffet tray of food under him. . .

. . .AND HIT HIM WITH WELCOME TO HELLVIEW, SENDING JOHNNY FACE-FIRST INTO THE BURNING TRAY!

"OHHHH MY GOD!" Early screamed! "HIS FACE IS ON FIRE!"

Johnny screamed in agonizing pain from the molten liquid and hot food burning his face until Charlie went for the cover, screaming "COUNT IT!" to the referee. The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

Charlie stood up and snatched the Hardcore title belt from the ground, as the referee looked at him with eyes wide in fear.

"Charlie Araya. . .you're the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

The referee then turned around and sprinted away in fear of Araya, who set the XCW Hardcore title on his shoulder, inhaling and exhaling sharply in intensity!

"Shake. . ." Early said, as Charlie strode down the hallway, his face still bleeding from the six-man Hardcore title match earlier.

"Yeah, Early?"

"NOW I'm scared."

"I am too!" Shake said. "You said Claude was dangerous? Well. . .I'd stay away from Charlie, too!"

Charlie stepped down the hallway with a stoic expression on his face, leaving Johnny Bravo and Spin lying prone in the hallway until the show went to a commercial break.

As the Supershow returned from break, Jessica Wilson stepped down a hallway until she caught sight of Trixie Tang conversing with Haruhi Suzumiya.

"Trixie!" Jessica called, catching Trixie's attention. "I love your hair! You take really good care of it!"

Trixie looked back at Jessica, her eyelids lowered in disinterest. "I know."

Nose high in the air, Trixie and Haruhi stepped away from Jessica, leaving her alone with a frown.

"What's her problem?" Jessica asked aloud.

"You're her problem." a female voice said. Jessica turned around to face the woman behind her. The crowd erupted into boos upon seeing. . .

"Peach?" Jessica said, surprised. "What do you mean I'm the problem?"

"You're all the same, you model types." Peach answered. "You come in here, acting all high and mighty, while you're nothing but a spoiled rotten, talentless, two-faced c*nt!"

The crowd booed even louder as Jessica lowered her brow and clenched her teeth in anger. "…Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Peach snapped, staring Jessica dead in the face.

Jessica pushed up one sleeve of her shirt, raising a fist. "I may have been born into a rich family, but like my father, I worked my ass off to be this beautiful, this athletic, AND this talented! And I feel like doing a little work on you, you psychotic damsel in distress!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you!" Peach said in a condescending tone. "You wouldn't want to make yourself look bad before you even have a match, would you?"

Jessica lowered her fist, still staring angrily at Peach.

"That's right. I wouldn't try to fight me, either. I'm in a Hardcore match to reclaim my Women's Championship at Heatwave, so now I'm a less merciful fighter, and I'd break more than just a few of your nails. But all I have to do is look at you to know that you're not worth fighting. I've won more Women's Championships than you ever will, and I. . .am ROYALTY! Face it, "Jewel", as long as I'm in this business, and as long as I'm fighting for a championship, you will never SMELL the ring, let alone look at it!"

A smug and evil smile formed on Peach's face before she turned away from Jessica and strutted down the hallway, leaving Jessica fuming with anger until the show went back to the ring, where Plankton stood with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is a women's tag team match scheduled for one fall!"

"Cult of Personality" by Living Colour played to thunderous cheers from the crowd, as Asui Hikaru stepped onto the stage with a dead serious look on her face before kneeling and looked at her wrist.

"Introducing first. . .representing UWE. . .from Westopolis. . .she is "The Ice Queen". . .ASUI HIKARU!"

She then leapt up and looked high above her, screaming "UWE FOREVER!" before striding down the ramp, focusing only on the ring.

"We're back live here on the XCW Summer Supershow, and right now, Shake, I am excited for this next matchup, a tag team match showcasing four of the best female wrestlers in this industry, and Asui Hikaru of UWE is a legend among them!" said Early, while Asui leapt onto the ring apron and jumped over the top rope before climbing onto a turnbuckle and pumping her fists up above her head.

"You got that right!" Shake said in agreement. "Not only is Asui Hikaru a multiple time UWE Queen's Champion, but she's also won the UWE Galaxy Championship on one occasion, and will be headlining UWE's Hall of Fame class in 2013! Asui Hikaru revolutionized women's wrestling, and will continue to do so as she looks to regain the Queens Championship this Sunday at UWE Barely Legal!"

"T&A" by Jim Johnston played as Nazz strutted onto the entranceway and posed to the crowd.

"And her tag team partner. . .representing XCW. . .from Peach Creek. . .she is D-Generation Ed's 'Assistant With Assets'. . .NAZZ!"

"Nazz has also had an eventful career in fiction wrestling." Early informed. "Not only is Nazz a former XCW Women's Champion, but she is also the longest-reigning Women's Champion in PCUW's short history!"

Nazz strutted down the ramp to cheers from the crowd until she climbed up a corner turnbuckle and did the DX crotch chop.

"You're absolutely right, Early! But not only is she a member of the XCW and PCUW rosters, she is also a backstage interviewer in AWE! Nazz is a girl that can do it all, and she'll look to show it off along with Asui. . .against two of the most prominent figures in women's fictional wrestling today!"

A hip-hop remix of the Sailor Moon theme played as Sailor Moon walked onto the stage wearing her blackened Senshi outfit. She then flipped the hood off her costume and raised the Toon Women's Championship belt high above her head to boos from the crowd.

"And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .representing WWE's Animated division. . .from Tokyo, Japan. . .she is the current Toon WWE Women's Champion. . .SAILOR MOON!"

"Sailor Moon has had a long and storied career in fictional wrestling!" Early said. "She played a huge part in the Anime Dynasty during the 1990s, she's a five-time and the current Toon WWE Women's Champion, and at Wrestlemania, she'll be inducted into the WWE Toon Hall of Fame!"

Sailor Moon entered the ring and raised the Toon Women's title belt high above her head, before giving Asui the death glare. The Ice Queen stared down the Toon Women's Champion while she strode to her corner.

"Yeah, but she has had some criticism about how she started her legacy, especially from her "Best In The World" opponent, and adversary here tonight. But she has the accolades and the toughness to back it all up! She plans to do just that when she faces Gwen Tennyson at Wrestlemania, and here tonight against Asui and Nazz!"

Sailor Moon stared Asui down until. . .

. . ."Playing The Saint" by Digital Summer played as Lightning Farron came onto the stage to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

"And her tag team partner. . .representing UCA. . .and the Rookie Revolution. . .from Bodhum, Cocoon. . .she is the current UCA Women's Champion. . .LIGHTNING FARRON!"

Lightning turned around and pointed at the Rookie Revolution logo on the back of her jacket while raising the UCA Women's title belt high above her head, taunting everyone in the ring.

"If you want to talk about someone with critics, Shake, look no further than Sailor Moon's tag team partner here tonight!" Early said. "Lightning Farron is not only going into her fourth month as the reigning UCA Women's Champion, but she is also one of the most prominent figures in the Rookie Revolution!"

Lightning slid into the ring under the bottom rope and raised the UCA Women's title belt up again as she strode to her corner, while Asui and Nazz stared each of them down.

"If there's one common enemy Nazz and Asui have, it's the Rookie Revolution!" Shake said. "But despite her allegiance with them, Lightning has proven time and time again that she won't go down easily, and that spells trouble for her opponents in the six-pack challenge for her championship at UCA Final Clash, and Asui and Nazz here tonight!"

The bell rang and the match began with Asui and Lightning facing off. They stared each other down until they met in the center of the ring for a tie-up. Lightning grabbed Asui by the arm and twisted it as she spun behind her, only for Asui to back up and drive her into the corner. Asui then spun around to face her and slapped her in the chest with a chop! Asui continued to repeatedly nail Lightning in the chest with chop after chop until Lightning blocked one, and hit her back with a right fist! Lightning then Irish whipped Asui toward the opposite corner. . .only for Asui to counter it with an Irish whip of her own! Lightning bounced hard out of the corner, and right into a swinging neckbreaker! Asui went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Lightning kicked out!

Asui pulled Lightning up to her feet, only for the UCA Women's Champion to surprise her with an eye rake! Lightning then hit the Ice Queen with a punch combination before Irish whipping her across the ring, and taking her down with a shoulder block on the bounceback! Lightning then lifted Asui onto her feet. . .and took her down with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex! Lightning went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Asui kicked out! Asui then slowly rose up to her feet. . .only for Lightning to plant her onto the mat with a reverse DDT! Lightning went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Asui kicked out!

"So far the UCA Women's Champion has the number of UWE's Ice Queen!" Early observed. "Will Asui regain the advantage?"

Lightning then pulled Asui up and Irish whipped her into a corner. Lightning leapt toward her for a clothesline, but Asui surprised her with a kick to the jaw! Asui then pulled herself onto the middle rope. . .and leapt toward the UCA Women's Champion, taking her down with a Jumping Tornado DDT! Asui went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Lightning kicked out! Asui then drug Lightning to their corner by the hair, and tagged in Nazz. Nazz then entered the ring above the second rope and slugged Lightning with a right hand! Nazz then hit Lightning with a punch combination before tying her up in a wrist-lock. . .and taking her down with an arm drag before locking her in an armbar! Lightning winced in pain as she tried to fight out of the hold. . .and successfully slugging Nazz in the chest with her free hand! Lightning then wrestled her other arm out of Nazz's grip before pulling her by the hair and taking her down with a snapmare! Lightning then locked in an abdominal stretch. . .only for Nazz to pull herself up to her feet-with the stretch still locked in! Nazz then spun around to face Lightning and took her down with a Jawbreaker! As Lightning stumbled around the ring selling her chin, Nazz ran against the ropes behind her and took her down with a Monkey Flip on the bounceback! Nazz went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Lightning kicked out!

Nazz pulled Lightning up by the hair and whacked her with a chop. . .or would have, if Lightning hadn't blocked it! Lightning then kicked Nazz in the midsection before taking her down with a scoop slam! Lightning then strode toward her corner and tagged in Sailor Moon, who entered the ring to boos from the crowd!

"And here comes the Toon WWE Women's Champion, Sailor Moon, who after the events of last Saturday's episode of Animated, hasn't exactly won over any new fans!" Early commented as Sailor Moon entered the ring and hit Nazz with a series of stomps!

"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "She beat older Gwen Tennyson to a bloody pulp, knocking her out cold and made her status for Wrestlemania unknown! And it looks as though Sailor Moon wants to continue to tell herself that she'll still be Toon Women's Champion after the Granddaddy of 'Em All!"

Sailor Moon then pulled Nazz up to her feet by a fistful of hair and whacked her with a kick to the face that sent her reeling toward the ropes. After she bounced back, Nazz was taken down again by a dropkick from Sailor Moon! The Sailor Scout then pulled Nazz back up and hit her with a swift kick to the midsection before taking her down with a neckbreaker. Sailor Moon went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!

Sailor Moon then pulled Nazz up and Irish whipped her into a corner face-first. She then charged toward D-Ed's Assistant With Assets. . .only for Nazz to surprise her with an elbow to the face! Nazz then grabbed Sailor Moon by the back of her shirt and went for an Atomic Drop. . .but Sailor Moon dropped out of it behind her, and shoved her back into the corner! Sailor then repeatedly kicked Nazz in the sternum with kick after kick until she fell into a seated position, upon which the Sailor Scout rammed her foot into Nazz's abdomen with furious mudhole stomps! With the fight right in front of her, Asui cheered her partner on and went for a blind tag. . .ONLY FOR SAILOR MOON TO SLAP ASUI ACROSS THE FACE, AND KICK HER IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD, DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Early cried. "There's still bad blood between Asui and Sailor Moon, even after their match at Best In The World!"

Asui sold her head as she rose back up to her knees, looking up at Sailor Moon with a look of pure hatred while Sailor Moon set Nazz up in the Tree of Woe and continued to hit her chest and abdomen with a series of kicks!

"You kidding me?" Shake asked his broadcast partner. "These two have bickered back and forth with each other on Twitter so much, they might as well start an animated version of The View!"

"Still, this did more harm than good for Sailor, because Asui wants to get her hands on Sailor Moon more than when she did before the match began!"

Asui pulled herself onto the ring apron. . .just as Sailor pulled Nazz out of the corner and toward the center of the ring! Asui seethed with anger while Sailor Moon went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 NAZZ KICKED OUT! Sailor Moon couldn't believe it! Sailor Moon then pulled Nazz up to her feet before slugging her with a right hand! Sailor Moon then hit Nazz in the head and chest with a series of swift kicks before lifting her up and taking her down with a sidewalk slam! Sailor Moon then went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ASUI BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT! The Sailor Scout looked up at Asui. . .who backed up to her corner, still scowling at the Toon Women's Champion. Sailor paid it no mind and pulled Nazz back up, grabbing a fistful of hair…only for Nazz to surprise Sailor Mood with a kick to her leg! Sailor Moon let go and sold her leg on impact, with Nazz immediately taking her down with a Lou Thesz Press and hammering away on her face with thunderous right hands!

"And XCW's Assistant With Assets made an opening against the Toon Women's Champion!" Early said.

Nazz then pulled Sailor Moon up to her feet and Irish whipped her toward a corner, only for Sailor Moon to counter it with an Irish whip of her own! Nazz hit the corner while Sailor Moon charged toward her. . .only for Nazz to catch the Toon Women's Champion off-guard with a kick to the jaw! Nazz then put Sailor Moon in a waist lock. . .and took her down with a German suplex! Sailor Moon then pulled herself up with the ropes behind her. . .until Nazz nailed the Sailor Scout with a Savate Kick to the face! In a daze. . .Sailor Moon sold her head. . .

. . .AND DROPPED TO A SEATED POSITION IN THE CORNER! The crowd began to cheer as Nazz ran to the opposite corner!

"Ohhhh nooooo….." Shake foreboded before Nazz glared at Sailor Moon. . .and gave her the DX crotch chop!

"The leader of the Sailor Scouts is in a bad position right now!" Early declared, as Nazz charged toward Sailor Moon. . .

. . .AND HIT HER WITH THE BRONCO BUSTER!

"OOOOHHHH!" Early screamed. "The Toon Women's Champion getting what I believe she's had coming to her!"

"Dear God!" Shake cringed. "Nothing's gonna taste good after that…but look at Asui! She doesn't think Sailor's been punished enough!"

Nazz pulled Sailor into the center of the ring by her legs and almost went for the cover. . .but saw Asui in the corner with her arm extended out, BEGGING for a tag!

"Asui's wanted her hands on Sailor Moon all night, and it looks like she's gonna get her wish!" Shake presumed, as Nazz stepped toward the corner. . .

. . .AND TAGGED IN ASUI! Asui then leapt onto the top rope in front of her. . .

. . .AND LANDED A MOONSAULT ONTO SAILOR MOON! Instead of going for the cover, Asui pulled Sailor Moon up and slugged her in the face with a punch combination before Irish whipping her across the ring and taking her down with an arm-trap swinging neckbreaker! Asui went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SAILOR KICKED OUT! Asui cringed in frustration as she pulled Sailor Moon up to her feet and slapped her in the chest with a chop! Asui went to hit her with another chop only for Sailor Moon to block it and put the Ice Queen into a wrist-lock! Sailor Moon then spun around to face Asui's back, then lifted her up for a back suplex. . .but Asui dropped out of it and shoved Sailor Moon toward the ropes! Sailor Moon bounced back. . .

. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE BY ASUI! Asui went for the cover again 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SAILOR KICKED OUT! Asui punched the mat in frustration!

"Asui may be beating some sense into the Sailor Scout leader, but she'll have to do more than that to put away her inter-company rival!" Early declared, as Asui pulled Sailor Moon up, only for Sailor to give her a thumb to the eye! While Asui staggered back a bit, Sailor Moon lifted Asui up. . .and took her down with a Scoop Slam! Sailor then leapt up and landed a Leg Drop onto the Ice Queen before running against the ropes and landing a double knee drop onto her! Sailor Moon then went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 ASUI KICKED OUT! Sailor sat up from the cover visibly annoyed. . .until she strode to her corner. . .and stomped onto the mat with her kicking foot!

"And Sailor Moon, fed up with the Ice Queen, is looking to finally put her away. . ." Early said, as Sailor charged forward. . .

. . .raised her leg. . .

. . .BUT ASUI CAUGHT THE SENSHI BOOT IN TIME! Asui swung Sailor around so she could face her back. . .and took her down with a German suplex! Sailor Moon slowly pulled herself up to her feet in the corner. . .

. . .UNTIL ASUI HIT SAILOR WITH A HIGH KNEE, THEN TOOK HER DOWN WITH A RUNNING BULLDOG! Asui went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 SAILOR MOON KICKED OUT!

"BY GOD how close was that?" wondered Early, as Asui stood up to her feet. . .

. . .slapped her hands together. . .and rested her head on them, doing the GTS taunt!

"We all know what's coming now from the UWE 2013 Hall of Fame class headliner!" Early said, as Asui pulled Sailor Moon up. . .

"This could be a huge win for Asui going into Barely Legal!" Early declared. . .

. . .WHILE ASUI RESTED SAILOR MOON ON HER SHOULDERS. . .

. . .but Sailor Moon tried fighting off Asui, sending her staggering toward Sailor's corner! Asui regained control of Moon. . .BUT NOT BEFORE SAILOR MOON MADE THE BLIND TAG TO LIGHTNING!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Early screamed. "What just happened?"

"I. . .I think Lightning may have saved Sailor Moon's skin!" Shake said, as Asui kept her grip on Moon while stepping to the center of the ring. . .

. . .AND TAKING MOON DOWN WITH THE GO TO SLEEP! Asui went for the cover. . .but the referee didn't make the count!

"SAILOR MOON'S NOT THE LEGAL WOMAN!" Early screamed, as Asui stood up from the cover and shouted at the referee!

"I don't think Asui has any idea that Sailor tagged in Lightning!" Shake assumed. . . "—or that Lightning's coming right toward her!"

Asui continued arguing with the referee. . .

. . .UNTIL LIGHTNING TOOK HER DOWN WITH THE LIGHTNING FLASH FROM THE RING APRON! Asui fell right in front of her corner, upon which she extended her arm out. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY TAGGED IN NAZZ IN TIME! Nazz climbed onto the top rope and leapt off. . .

. . .ONLY FOR LIGHTNING TO CATCH HER IN MID-AIR AND DROP HER WITH THE LIGHTNING STRIKES!

"AND THE POWER IS OUT FOR D-ED'S ASSISTANT WITH ASSETS!" Early yelled, as Lightning went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"While the storm rages on for Lightning and the Rookie Revolution!" finished Early, as Lightning stood up from the cover and the bell rang!

"The winners of this match. . .SAILOR MOON AND LIGHTNING FARRON!"

"Just like the Best in the World pay-per-view, the Rookie Revolution stands tall once again!" Shake observed, as the referee raised Lightning's arm in victory. "They're on a roll as of late, and it looks like it's not going to stop any time soon!"

Lightning then raised her arms high above her head, showing off both the UCA Women's Championship and the Rookie Revolution wristband while leaving the ring!

"And Lightning Farron is going into her six-pack challenge at UCA Last Stand on a wave of momentum. . .but what's she gonna do here?" Early wondered. . .

. . .until she grabbed a steel chair from ringside!

"OH MY GOD! Are you kidding me?" Early exclaimed. "You won the damn match! There's nothing else left to prove!"

"She's committed to the cause of her Revolution, Early!" Shake said, as Lightning entered the ring and stood over Asui! "Asui may be headlining the UWE Hall of Fame, but to the UCA Women's Champion, she's just hogging the spotlight!"

Lightning raised the steel chair high above her head. . .

. . .UNTIL ASUI KICKED HER IN THE MIDSECTION! Lightning dropped the chair on impact before Asui lifted her onto her shoulders. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HER WITH THE GO TO SLEEP!

"BUT ASUI HIKARU MAKES THE LAST STATEMENT!" Early shouted, as Asui stared down the Rookie Revolution general with a scowl!

"Asui may have beaten the sense into Sailor Moon like she wanted, but she had one last thing to say about the Rookie Revolution!" Shake said.

"You're absolutely right, Shake!" agreed Early. "Asui is one cat I wouldn't want to cross paths with, especially if I am a member of the Rookie Revolution. I fear for Rukia Kuchiki's title reign and life at Barely Legal!"

Asui looked up at the fans and screamed "UWE FOREVER!" until the show went to the backstage area, where with their CCW Magnus and Females titles over their shoulders, Ben and Gwen Tennyson stood around Carl Brutanandilewski, who had a microphone in hand.

"Ben and Gwen Tennyson, tonight, in the Supershow's main event, you two square off against XCW's World and Women's Champions, the "Crest Couple" as you like to call them…Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi. Earlier tonight, Tai and Sora called you two insecure, egotistical, and declared that they will become the true 'Best In The Universe' by the end of the match tonight. Do you two have anything to say in response to them?"

Ben Tennyson scoffs at the query and says, "Tai and Sora want to give the two of us 'what we deserve', huh? They want to go toe-to-toe with the most DOMINANT pair of cousins ever to lace up a pair of boots…and they claim they can top us? Let me tell you exactly why they CAN'T and won't be doing that tonight. You see, the two of them and the two of us, despite what they may say and think, are, in a single way, very similar. We share one commonality, and that commonality is as follows: when you look at the two of them, you think of a ring—a nice, shiny, who-cares-karat ring that they wear on their fingers. That's their calling card. It took a WEDDING for those two to get anything close to the attention we've gotten all our careers. Otherwise, they would have floundered like trout in the sand. Now, when you think of us, you ALSO think of a ring, only this is the ring that actually matters—the WRESTLING ring. That's OUR domain. That's where WE do what we do best: end dreams, break spirits, and immortalize ourselves every freaking day. And what I said to Chaos—you think you were supposed to FORGET running over the insipid King of Thieves? You think you were supposed to FORGET my 'incident' from which I was DECLARED INNOCENT by the way…? No, that all happened and I don't regret a damn bit of it. I DON'T respect a lot of people, and you know what? You're pretty close to the top of my disrespect list! I'm a slimy, rotten, smarmy human being, but I'm the best slimy, rotten, smarmy human being there is! But more than any of that…I'm a HERO, Tai Kamiya, and nothing's going to change that. At the end of the day, this ENTIRE universe still owes its life to me, and for that reason, NO ONE is going to tell me how to be a Champion, especially not you! And nobody, especially not you and your wife, is going to stack up to the Best Wrestler in the Universe…and his historical cousin, the goddess of the sport itself…the young, the 10-year-old, the incomparable Gwen Tennyson."

Gwen takes the microphone forcefully and speaks her own mind: "Sora Takenouichi…the wife of the XCW Heavyweight Champion… Notice that I didn't say 'Sora Takenouichi, XCW Women's Champion'; I said 'Sora Takenouichi, wife of the XCW Heavyweight Champion'. You're Tai's little girl, he's your man, and you're both Champions, but there's one VERY big difference between the two of us. You're caught in a pod; when people think of one, you just HAVE TO think of the other. You're the married Digidestined! Every time you hear Sora's name, Tai's name isn't too far behind. But I, on the other hand, don't need to be all over Ben Tennyson, snuggling close to his body to make myself a superstar! He's made himself a legend on his own, and I've been doing the very same! You say you had to redefine your career and elevate yourself to Championship status, but the fact of the matter is I've ALWAYS BEEN at Championship status since CCW opened its doors. I'm the FIRST and ONLY CCW Females Champion. NOBODY has made more history in CCW than me! Nobody has CHANGED the flow of time in wrestling more than I have! I singlehandedly REWROTE the CCW books and expunged a career from existence! I WON the first-ever Women's Hell in a Cell Match against TWO Hall of Famers! ME! That was ME! On my own—no husband required! And yet you want to DISPUTE my title as a wrestling GODDESS?! I assure you, there won't be any dispute once the two of us exchange blows. I'm the Alpha Bitch for a reason, and it's not because it sounds cool or looks cool when painted on a t-shirt; it's because that's what I am! ALPHA – NO ONE COMPARES TO THE LIKES OF ME! BITCH – I'M THE BADDEST ONE THERE IS IN THE INDUSTRY TODAY, NOT TO MENTION THE MOST SUCCESSFUL! And tonight…each of you is going to be left with a permanent reminder that we are and always will be BETTER than you." Gwen holds up her CCW Females Championship as these words sink in.

"Best in the Universe, baby!" Ben adds before grabbing Gwen by the hand and walking away with her until the show cut to a different part of the backstage area, where Claude Speed strode down a hallway, his teeth clenched in anger.

"Well, there's Claude Speed!" Shake observed. "Do you think he's still mad?"

Claude continued stomping until Edward Cullen passed him.

"It could be worse. . .you could sparkle in the sun." Edward brooded in a monotone voice and facial expression. Claude stopped in his tracks, staring Edward in face with his eyes wide in disbelief.

"It's a horrible curse-" Edward said. . .

. . .UNTIL CLAUDE GRABBED HIM BY THE SHIRT AND THREW HIM BACK-FIRST THROUGH A WINDOW!

"JEEZ!" Shake cringed, as Claude turned a corner. He froze in his tracks, looking at something off-screen in recognition.

"You've picked the WRONG time to run into me!" Claude shouted.

"Are you kidding?" said the man, off-screen. "Now is the BEST time."

Claude picked up a 2x4 leaned up against the wall to his left. "In that case. . .with open arms. . .and a 2x4. . .I welcome you to XCW. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .CHARLIE!"

The camera panned left, revealing Charlie Araya on another side of the hallway with a referee behind him, the Hardcore title belt on his shoulder, and Darline in his opposite hand.

Charlie looked at Claude with a wide grin. "WELCOME TO HELLVIEW, CLAUDE SPEED!"

Charlie shouted as he charged toward Claude, with Claude sprinting toward Charlie on the other side of the hallway!

"OH MY GOD!" Shake screamed.

"CLAUDE SPEED AND CHARLIE ARAYA ARE GOING AT IT IN THE BACK!" Early yelled, as Charlie and Claude met in the center of the hallway and traded right hands!

"I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I'M SEEING!" Early cried, as they continued brawling with fast and fierce right hands!

"THAT'S IT!" Shake screamed. "THE ARENA'S GONNA COLLAPSE HERE, I KNOW IT!"

Claude and Charlie continued punching each other in the face until Charlie suddenly swung Darline at Claude's face. . .but Claude raised his 2x4. . .

. . .ONLY FOR DARLINE TO SNAP CLAUDE'S 2x4 IN HALF! Claude suddenly ducked and charged toward Charlie, taking him down with a Lou Thesz Press, and hammering away at his face with right and left hands! Claude then pulled Charlie up and put him in a headlock, hitting him with a right hand. . .

. . .UNTIL CHARLIE LIFTED CLAUDE UP AND SLAMMED HIM ONTO THE FLOOR WITH AN ATOMIC DROP! Before Claude could crumble to the ground, Charlie whacked him in the back with Darline! Claude screamed in pain until Charlie raised Darline high above his head. . .thrust it down toward Claude's face. . .

. . .ONLY FOR CLAUDE TO NAIL CHARLIE IN THE FAMILY JEWELS! Charlie shouted in pain, covering his private area while falling to his knees and dropping Darline!

"OOOH!" Early cringed. "Charlie better be lucky he has a family, because he won't be able to make kids any time soon!"

Claude then grabbed Darline before rising up to one knee. . .and slapping Charlie across the face with Darline!

"OH MY GOD!" Early screamed. "Liberty City's Lucifer just used Charlie's signature weapon against him!"

"This is heinous!" Shake said, as Charlie spat blood out of his mouth before staring up at Claude with a sadistic smile, his face dripping with blood!

"And he's smiling!" Early said in astonishment. "The Hellview Devil has absolutely lost it!"

"Did he even have it to begin with?" Shake wondered as Charlie shot up to his feet and slugged Claude with a right hand before grabbing him by the hair. . .AND SLAMMING HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE WALL! Charlie then pulled Claude's face up, looking to ram him into the wall again. . .

. . .but Claude surprised Charlie with an elbow to the face! Charlie stumbled back a bit while Claude turned around. . .

. . .AND SPEARED CHARLIE THROUGH A WALL!

"OH DEAR GOD-MY GOD!" Early cried, as Claude and Charlie laid in the wreckage of the wall, gasping for breath!

"AHHHHHHH! THAT'S GOTTA BE FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS IN DAMAGES!" Shake screamed, until Claude draped his arm over Charlie for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And just like that, Claude Speed is a dual champion again!" Early called, as the referee handed Claude the XCW Hardcore Championship!

"Congratulations, Claude Speed, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

Claude took the belt from the referee, but before he could raise his arm in victory, Claude knelt down and lifted Charlie's head up by the chin so he could stare him in the face.

"WELCOME. . .TO. . .HELL."

Claude let Charlie's head drop down to the floor before stepping out of the room, through the large hole in the wall. Claude strode down the hallway, away from the camera with the same look of anger on his face!

"Claude has become a five-time XCW Hardcore Champion after his brief encounter with The Hellview Devil!" Early said. "But I don't think he's done with his path of destruction yet!"

The camera then panned back to the locker room, showing Charlie through the hole in the wall. . .

. . .AND HIS EYES OPENED WIDE!

"And I don't think Charlie's done, either!" Shake declared.

Charlie laid in the crumbled heap until the Supershow went to a commercial break.

As the Supershow returned from break, Carl Brutanandilewski stood next to Tommy Vercetti with a microphone in hand.

"Tommy Vercetti, tonight, you square off against "UWE's Worst Nightmare" Thomas Ambrose in a No-Disqualification match, but earlier, you cost Spongebob Squarepants a victory against the icon of UWE, Scorpion!" Carl said. "If I may ask, why did you interfere in the match, and do you have anything to say about your opponent here tonight?"

"Carl, a lot of crap has came from Spongebob's mouth about me and my career since he was signed to this company." Tommy informed. "He's blamed me for the death of WWT, he's called me a shell of my former self, and he's said that I'll never compete for a World title like him. Honestly, with those words running through my head, I didn't want to wait until Heatwave to send my message: that if you lie about me, the Harwood Butcher, you pay one hell of a price, and Spongebob's price was another loss against the Icon, Scorpion."

Tommy took a swig of beer before continuing to speak. "But what I did to him tonight was just a scratch on the surface. He claims that he's adapted to the extreme fighting style we employ here in XCW? At Heatwave, I'll teach him how to be extreme. At Heatwave, I'm gonna drag him up and down the streets of my old stomping ground, Liberty City, string him up with the barbed wire ropes, once we make it to the XCW Arena, and make him my BITCH. And expect the same tonight when I face Thomas Ambrose, because he IS a bitch! I used to see a lot of me when I watched him fight. He was a guy who's angered at the sight of his blood, and a real destructive machine. But now, he's been at home, taking care of his injured chemo patient girlfriend!"

Suddenly, a man stepped out from a locker room door behind Tommy. He stared at him with a stoic expression, and blue eyes, revealing himself to be. . .

. . .THOMAS AMBROSE! Carl saw him and pointed at him in fear!

"Uh, Tommy?"

Tommy continued speaking, oblivious to Thomas stepping toward him.

"Seriously, I mean, what the hell does he see in Ashley Mesnard? She has no hair! Then again, I guess there's someone for everyone. . .even the emo, brooding, silent kids who cut their wrists in the back corner of their high school classroom!"

Thomas Ambrose stepped even closer to Tommy, Carl trembling in fear.

"Tommy—"

"'UWE's Dumbest Daydream' lost one match, vanished off the face of the earth, and now all of a sudden, he thinks he can stand toe-to-toe with me, the Harwood Butcher, in a No-Disqualification match inside an XCW arena? I said I would welcome Spongebob to Liberty City at Heatwave, well, pretty soon, Thomas is gonna get a big welcome to my playground here in XCW, and he'll be left with more than just dirt in his hair and scabs on his body!"

Thomas stopped right behind Tommy, literally breathing down his neck, staring him down with wide, angry eyes!

Carl pointed at Thomas again. "TOMMY!"

Tommy grinned. "What?"

Thomas suddenly grabbed Tommy by his collar. . .

. . .AND RAMMED HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE WALL NEXT TO HIM!

"OH MY GOD!" Shake screamed, as Thomas kept his grip on Tommy's shirt, and threw him into the wall again, bashing his face into it and busting him open!

"AND TOMMY VERCETTI IS GETTING THE CRAP KNOCKED OUT OF HIM BY THOMAS AMBROSE!" Early cried, before Thomas nailed Tommy in the head with a headbutt, then kneed him in the midsection. . .put him in a powerbomb position. . .

. . .AND GUTWRENCH POWERBOMBED HIM THROUGH THE TABLE AGAINST THE OPPOSITE WALL!

Thomas knelt down, getting right into Tommy's bloody face.

"Welcome to YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!" Thomas yelled, before standing back up and storming forward down the hallway. . .until Tommy sat up and staggered up to his feet!

"Oh no, you don't—" Tommy said before charging in Thomas's direction!

"Oh dear lord! And now Tommy Vercetti's looking to start his match before it's even began!" Early said.

"He doesn't know when to quit, or to shut up, as we just saw!" Shake said. "I have a bad feeling about this next match. . ."

Carl looked on at Tommy running off-screen until the show cut to a different part of the backstage area, where Claude Speed stormed down the hallway, kicking and knocking over every object in sight, with the XCW Hardcore title around his waist. . .

. . .AS DEADPOOL WALKED INTO HIS VIEW! The Merc With A Mouth extended his arms out and looked through his mask at Claude with a look of recognition.

"CLAUDE!" Deadpool shouted, with a referee behind him. "It's been too long! XCW's a great host, with the liquor, the fighting. . .and the liquor. . .GIMME A HUG, 'OL BUDDY, 'OL PAL!"

Claude ignored him while charging toward him, with Deadpool stopping in his tracks. . .

"Boy, you look aaaangry—"

. . .AND GETTING TACKLED TO THE FLOOR BY CLAUDE! Claude hammered away at Deadpool's face with right and left hands before pulling him up to his feet. . .

. . .ONLY TO TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A NECKBREAKER SO MASSIVE, DEADPOOL'S HEAD DETACHED FROM HIS BODY! Claude then kicked Deadpool's head down the hallway, making it slide until it came to a stop near the feet of his referee. Meanwhile, Claude took down Deadpool's body again with an armbreaker!

"YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, CLAUDE!" shouted Deadpool before looking up at his referee. "He's occupied right now, man!" whispered the Merc With A Mouth. "Go hide in his dressing room while I pull myself together. I'll be there quicker than The Flash on speed pills while riding the Road Runner on Moo Moo Mountain!"

Deadpool cringed as Claude hammered away at Deadpool's sides! "Ooh…there go my kidneys. . .this could take a while. . ."

The referee ran away from Deadpool as Claude stormed away in the opposite direction, leaving Deadpool's severed head, arm and body prone on the floor.

Deadpool's head turned toward the camera. "And now, here's something we hope you'll really like!"

Suddenly, the show cut to a different part of the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood next to Chaos The Hedgehog with a microphone in hand.

"Chaos. . ." Carl said, ". . .tonight, you will face the monster Garfield in a non-title match that is being called a battle of Biblical proportions. Earlier, Jon Arbuckle claimed that you are a false deity, and went so far as to say that Garfield would ascend to God-like status with a victory against you. Do you have anything to say in response to his comments?"

"These two...they want to doubt my status as a God? They want to doubt the power I hold within me? Well that is a mistake that will cost them greatly. I have proven myself a God for over the past ten years in UWE, leaving paths of destruction in my wake as I take down any who stand in my way! I don't need mythical powers to take down my foes, I don't need to be like the Greek God, and I certainly don't need allies...all I need are my two fists and my own strength to show why I am the God of Destruction. And it's something that has led me to make UWE my realm. I have defeated the best of the best in UWE in Sweet Tooth, Nightmare, PaRappa, Araya, Ichigo, Araya and more, all through my own damn power and will! No help, mythical powers, or cheating required! THAT is what makes me a God! Because only a God could have defeated all of those names like I have!"

"Jon Arbuckle says this will be a battle of Biblical proportions...no, it will be MUCH bigger than that! Because the battles of the Bible WON'T COMPARE to what me and Garfield will go out there and do to each other! I know Garfield is a monster, I know he is a rampaging giant, I know he is out for blood, but I have defeated monsters and giants before, and this time will be no different! Arbuckle says we have many similarities, but there is also a glaring difference...I'm a better World Champion then Garfield ever was! I have made more of an impact in my one month as Omega Champion then Garfield could even have HOPED to achieve in his one month reign as XCW World Champion! His reign was forgettable...while my reign will be remembered for a LOOONNNGGG time!"

"Garfield...Arbuckle...I am on a damn mission to prove myself the REAL World Champion of Fiction Wrestling, and if that means going through you two to do so, then I have no problem adding you to the list of being I have destroyed! And once I do destroy the Monster known as Garfield, I will walk into Barely Legal and go straight to hell with perhaps my greatest UWE rival, Kid Buu, for the title on my shoulder! And unlike your little kitty kat at Heatwave, Arbuckle...I am going to be walking out of Barely Legal THE LAST MAN STANDING! But tonight...you are going to be forced to watch as Garfield becomes the next victim in the Era of Destruction! You're going to find out what a God is all about!"

Chaos raises his Omega Championship high in front of the camera with a sneer before walking away as the show cut to another part of the backstage area.

In another hallway, Claude turned a corner, draping the XCW Hardcore title belt onto his shoulder, while Jessica Wilson strode down the same hallway toward him, grumbling under her breath until they met face-to-face in front of Claude's dressing room door.

"WHAT ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT?" Claude asked his sort-of girlfriend.

"ME? OH, WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?" Jessica shouted. "Between getting flirted on by morons and verbally abused by other divas, I've had a GREAT time visiting XCW!"

Jessica looked at Liberty City's Lucifer with tight lips, her angry gaze burning into Claude's.

"WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?" yelled Claude. "I was robbed of the Toon Hardcore Championship, AND I might not be going to Wrestlemania! Knowing you're not happy doesn't cheer me up, either!"

Claude and Jessica turned away from each other for a beat, until Claude raised his head and quickly inhaled a smell passing through his nose.

"WHAT'S THAT SMELL? IS THAT YOUR HAIR?" asked Claude, turning to "The Jewel".

"NO. . .IT'S MY PERFUME."

"Well, it SMELLS NICE!" Claude shouted, unable to calm down.

"THANK YOU!" Jessica snapped back.

They looked away from each other again until Claude shouted, "So, what do you suppose we do to make tonight a little better?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" answered Jessica, still shouting. "I'm really getting tired of yelling about it…"

"And beating people to a pulp hasn't helped…" added Claude.

They sharply turned around to face each other once more.

"WANT TO HAVE ANGRY SEX?" Jessica exclaimed.

"YES!" accepted Claude, upon which his mouth crashed against Jessica's. They opened the door to his dressing room and slammed it shut.

"Wait a minute, Early. . .Deadpool's referee is in there!" reminded Shake!

"Oh no. . .I got a feeling they're on a collision course with wackiness!" Early declared, while the camera stayed focused on the door with the sign "CLAUDE SPEED" in the center of the shot until the show went back to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is a no-disqualification match scheduled for one fall!"

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played to thunderous cheers from the crowd.

"Introducing first. . .representing XCW. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is "The Harwood Butcher". . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"

"This will be Tommy Vercetti's first wrestling match since his Cell of Chaos match at Nightfire!" Early informed. "Here's hoping the Harwood Butcher is healthy enough to withstand the brutality he'll face against Thomas Ambrose here tonight!"

"He's putting himself through challenge after challenge before his Liberty City Street Fight against Spongebob at Heatwave. . .but where the hell is he?" wondered Shake, as Tommy was nowhere to be found on the stage!

"Oh dear lord, Shake!" Early cried. "You don't suppose—"

Suddenly, the show cut to a parking garage in the backstage area, where Tommy Vercetti and Thomas Ambrose were brawling!

"BAH GAWD!" Early screamed. "Tommy and Thomas are STILL beating the holy hell out of each other, and their match hasn't even begun!"

"Tommy brought this on himself, Early!" Shake declared. "He didn't know when to shut his mouth!"

Tommy and Thomas continued to trade right hands until Thomas surprised Tommy with a throat thrust. . .then grabbed him by the hair and rammed him face-first into a van behind them! Thomas then rubbed Tommy's face into the metal, his blood staining the van!

"DEAR GOD, THOMAS HAS LOST IT!" Early observed, as Thomas pulled Tommy's head up. . .

"HE'S NEVER HAD IT, EARLY! THIS GUY'S PSYCHOTIC!" Shake screamed, as Tommy surprised Thomas with an elbow to the sternum! Tommy then draped his arm over Thomas's shoulders. . .and took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep onto the concrete! Tommy then opened the back doors of the van before glancing briefly at Ambrose.

"Come on, Ambrose! You've got an ass waiting to be kicked!" Tommy said before tossing Thomas Ambrose into the back of the van and slamming the doors! Nodding his head in reassurance, Tommy then entered the van from the driver's side door, started it and sped off!

"Tommy Vercetti has UWE's Worst Nightmare in captivity!" Early said. "They better be on their way out here!"

"I honestly hope not, Early!" dissented Shake. "After what we just saw these two go through in the back, I wouldn't feel safe if the match officially started!"

Suddenly, the van sped through the entranceway and down the ramp. . .

. . .UNTIL IT HIT THE RING APRON HEAD-ON!

"DEAR LORD!" Early said. "IS TOMMY DRUNK?"

"Drunk with hatred, probably!" retorted Shake. "I hope Ambrose is still alive back there!"

Grabbing a tire iron from his passenger seat first, Tommy got out of the van and stormed over to the back of the van. He opened the double doors. . .

. . .AND THOMAS AMBROSE DOVE OUT, TACKLING HIM WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS! Thomas Ambrose then hammered away at Tommy with thunderous right hands!

"THOMAS AMBROSE IS ALIVE AND WELL, much to the dissatisfaction of Tommy Vercetti!" Early declared, as Tommy suddenly headbutted Ambrose, and drove him back-first against the ring apron! Ambrose screamed in pain before nailing Tommy with a headbutt of his own!

"These two are going crazy on each other, and this match hasn't even officially started yet!" Shake said before Ambrose threw Tommy into the ring under the bottom rope. Ambrose followed until a referee pushed him into a corner, insisting that the introductions be finished. Thomas raised a fist above the referee, but the referee threatened to call the match if he struck him! Thomas Ambrose complied, nodding his head while wiping the blood from his face.

"AND HIS OPPONENT. . ." Plankton finally announced, ". . .representing UWE. . .from Parts Unknown. . .he is "UWE's Worst Nightmare". . .THOMAS AMBROSE!"

Thomas beat his chest like a gorilla until the bell rang and the match officially began! Tommy and Ambrose charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring, trading fast and furious right hands, with Tommy's hand wearing a set of brass knuckles! They continued punching each other until Thomas finally faltered a bit, upon which Tommy slugged him with a huge uppercut that knocked him down to the mat! Tommy went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ambrose kicked out! Tommy grabbed Ambrose by the shoulder and pulled him up to a standing position. . .only for Ambrose to surprise him with another headbutt! Ambrose then Irish whipped Tommy hard across the ring, and the bounceback, took him down with ANOTHER headbutt! Ambrose then went for a cover of his own! 1. . 2. . .Tommy kicked out!

"This match isn't a minute old, and Ambrose is using his own head as a weapon!" observed Early.

Shake nodded in agreement. "Now that's what I call—"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Early demanded while Ambrose pulled Tommy up to his feet and punched him with a left hand! Tommy went for a left hand of his own, only for Ambrose to catch it and whack him with another headbutt before slamming him down to the ground with a belly-to-belly suplex! Tommy rolled out of the ring and looked under the apron for a weapon while Ambrose stared down his adversary with blood still trickling down his face. Meanwhile, Tommy came out of the ring apron with a trash can in hand! He raised it above his head to slide it into the ring under the bottom rope. . .only for Ambrose to leap off the ring apron. . .

. . .AND SMASH THE TRASH CAN INTO TOMMY'S FACE WITH A DOUBLE AXE HANDLE! Tommy laid prone on the covered concrete floor while Ambrose stared him down seething with anger! Ambrose then grabbed Tommy by his shirt and lifted him off the ground before throwing him back-first into the steel post! Tommy let out a yell of pain until Ambrose lifted him up and dropped him, his face landing right on the edge of the barricade! Tommy clenched his jaw upon crumbling to the floor until Ambrose pulled him back up and threw him face-first into the ring post! Tommy sunk down to his knees, holding onto the ring post to regain his composure. . .

. . .ONLY FOR AMBROSE TO GRAB HIM BY THE HAIR, PULL HIM UP AND SLAM HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE POST AGAIN!

"DEAR GOD!" So far, Thomas Ambrose is having his way with the Harwood Butcher!" Early cried, as Ambrose pulled Tommy back. . .AND SLAMMED HIS FACE INTO THE STEEL POST AGAIN!

"The brains of these two men might as well be scrambled eggs right about now!" Shake screamed. "They were psychos before this match, who knows what they'll be capable of by the time this night is over!"

Ambrose then pulled Tommy's head away from the post. . .thrust it toward the steel post again. . .

. . .but Tommy turned around and slugged Ambrose in the side of the head with a brass-knuckled fist! Thomas fell to the ground upon the impact, with Tommy standing behind him with a smirk.

"And now Tommy Vercetti is back in control of this match!" Early declared, while Tommy looked under the ring for a weapon and pulled out a steel chair. . .WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE!

"DEAR GOD!" Shake cried while Tommy grinned upon snatching the chair! "We all knew Tommy was sadistic, but this is RIDICULOUS!"

"He can do whatever he wants, Shake!" Early reminded. "It's no-disqualification!"

Tommy then raised the barbed-wire steel chair high above his head. . .

. . .AND SLAPPED IT ACROSS THE BACK OF THOMAS AMBROSE! Ambrose screamed in agonizing pain upon collapsing back onto the covered concrete floor!

"Tommy said he would welcome Ambrose to his XCW playground, and by God, he's doing it!" Early declared, as Tommy raised the chair up again and hit Thomas's back with it again! Tommy continued to repeatedly hit Thomas's back with the barbed-wire steel chair as more and more lacerations ripped Ambrose's bare flesh!

"This is absolutely brutal! This is absolutely destructive! But did you really expect anything less from Tommy Vercetti in his first match back after that grueling Cell of Chaos match at Nightfire?" asked Early, as Tommy continued to shred Ambrose's back with the barbed-wire chair. . .while Ambrose. . .started to laugh?

"I certainly didn't expect Thomas Ambrose to be a masochist!" Shake answered. "My God! He really has lost it!"

"Thomas Ambrose has been through so much personal turmoil in his life. . .that physical pain is enjoyable to him! He feeds off of it! He's-HE'S ON HIS WAY BACK UP!" Early called as Tommy raised the chair above his head. . .

. . .ONLY FOR AMBROSE TO PUSH HIMSELF UP TO HIS KNEES! Tommy's jaw dropped open in disbelief as Ambrose turned around to face him with a sadistic, wide grin. . .

. . .UNTIL TOMMY HIT HIM RIGHT IN THE HEAD WITH A MASSIVE UNPROTECTED CHAIR SHOT! Ambrose fell to the ground, his face colored red with his own blood!

"Thomas Ambrose is wearing the proverbial crimson mask, Shake!" Early declared. "And he looks like he doesn't want to take it off!"

Thomas Ambrose looked up at the announcer's table, his mouth wide with laughter!

"He's ENJOYING THIS!" Shake said in shock. "EARLY…I'm scared."

Tommy slid the chair into the ring under the bottom rope before pulling Ambrose up by the tights and going for a right hand. . .

. . .BUT AMBROSE CAUGHT IT AGAIN AND HEADBUTTED TOMMY ONCE MORE, HIS BLOOD RUBBING ONTO TOMMY'S FACE! Tommy wiped his face. . .until Thomas Ambrose took advantage of the distraction and took him down with a Spear! Ambrose then pulled Tommy up to his feet and hit him right between the eyes with a series of boxer jabs!

"I think Tommy's starting to realize that by running his mouth, he's created a monster bigger than Ambrose himself! He didn't know what he was up against until now!" Early observed, as Ambrose lifted Tommy up and dropped him closer to the announcer's table with a vertical suplex! Ambrose then grabbed the top of the announcer's table and began tearing it apart!

"And now 'UWE's Worst Nightmare is destroying our table!" Early observed. "Ambrose now has some evil intentions for The Harwood Butcher!"

"OH GOD I gotta get out of here!" Shake screamed as he and Early stood up from their seats, with their headsets still on.

Ambrose then strode over to a corner of the ring and picked up the top set of steel steps! Ambrose turned around and stepped back toward the announcer's table. . .

. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO SURPRISE AMBROSE WITH A 2x4 TO THE FACE! Ambrose dropped the steel steps while selling his face until Tommy put Ambrose in a headlock and took him back down to the floor with a swinging neckbreaker! Tommy then pulled Ambrose up to a standing position. . .draped his arm over his back while lifting him up. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A FORWARD SUPLEX ON THE RING APRON! Ambrose finally crumbled down to the ringside floor while Tommy looked at the crowd and beat his chest like a gorilla, mocking Ambrose!

"Tommy knows what he's up against, but he still feels like he's got Ambrose in the bag!" Early said, as Tommy picked up the steel steps and set him right in front of the announcer's table!

"And he may have him there if he does what I think he's gonna do, Early!" Shake added, as Tommy grabbed Ambrose by the shoulder. . .AND DRUG HIM UP THE STEEL STEPS!

"Ambrose has had barbed wire rip his skin to shreds, he's taken fistfuls of brass knuckles. . .could Tommy Vercetti finally have him here?"

At the foot of the stairs, Tommy put Ambrose in a headlock. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A DOUBLE-ARM DDT THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE! The crowd screamed "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" as Tommy and Ambrose were both down in the wreckage of the table!

"BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD TOMMY JUST PUT AMBROSE RIGHT THROUGH OUR TABLE WITH THAT DDT!" Early screamed unintelligibly.

"But although the match is no-disqualification, the match must be won inside the ring!" Shake informed. "And it looks like these two psychos are down for the count!"

Tommy and Thomas laid in the wreckage of the table. . .until Tommy stirred! Tommy slowly sat up and pulled himself up to his feet with the barricade behind him. Tommy then stood over Ambrose with a wide grin on his face before pulling him by the shoulders and sliding him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Tommy slid in after him and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 AMBROSE KICKED OUT! Tommy looked down at his opponent in shock!

"HOW IS THOMAS AMBROSE STILL IN THIS THING?" Early screamed while Tommy stomped onto Thomas's chest with furious angry stomps!

"The guy can't be human!" Shake declared. "He's an absolute freak of nature!"

Tommy stomped on Ambrose's chest a few more times before giving him a swift kick to the head for good measure! Tommy then went for another cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 THOMAS KICKED OUT! Tommy looked down at Ambrose with frustration!

"For all he's concerned, Tommy has his lookalike beaten!" Early said. "What's he got going through his mind now?"

Tommy slid out of the ring with an annoyed grimace on his face and looked under the ring apron for a weapon! Tommy grinned in satisfaction as he pulled out a table from under the ring and slid it into the ring under the bottom rope before looking back under the ring for more weapons!

"Tommy's pulling out all the stops now to put "UWE's Worst Nightmare" to bed once and for all!" Shake declared, as Tommy slid a stop sign, another barbed-wire wrapped chair, and a kendo stick into the ring. Tommy then slid back into the ring and picked up the kendo stick, taunting for Ambrose to stand up! Ambrose slowly rose up to his knees as Tommy cocked the shovel back before swinging it right at Ambrose's head. . .

. . .but Thomas caught the stick and pulled it out of Tommy's grasp before throwing it into a corner! Thomas then stood up and charged toward the Harwood Butcher, putting him into a tie-up. Thomas then put Tommy back into a waist-lock and lifted him up. . .and slammed him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Tommy pulled himself up with the ropes as he tried to catch his breath in the corner. . .only for Ambrose to hit him with thunderous shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Tommy fell to a seated position! Ambrose then drug Tommy into the center of the ring and went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT! With blood covering his face, Ambrose stared down at Tommy and yelled right into his face in anger! Thomas pulled Tommy up to his feet and slugged him with a Throat Thrust that sent him reeling backwards toward the ropes! Tommy bounced back. . .and Ambrose took him down with a Powerslam onto the stop sign! Ambrose went for another cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT ONCE AGAIN! Ambrose stood up and stomped onto the mat repeatedly in frustration!

"Ambrose wants nothing more than to put his recent bully Tommy Vercetti down for good!" Early declared before Ambrose grabbed a kendo stick. . .

. . .pulled Tommy up to his feet. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP, WITH THE KENDO STICK AGAINST TOMMY'S NECK! Thomas then knelt back up. . .

. . .and locked Tommy into a rear-naked chokehold!

"He may suffocate him here, Early! That chokehold is in good and tight!" Shake said as Ambrose continued to squeeze the life out of Tommy Vercetti! Tommy tried to squirm and claw his way out of the hold, but to no avail! Thomas looked around the arena as the fans chanted "TOMMY!" TOMMY! TOMMY!"

"These fans are on their feet cheering for XCW's Harwood Butcher!" Early said. "Will Tommy get out of this predicament, or will he tap out?"

"There's a lot of similarities between him and Ambrose, Early!" Shake said. "For all we know, he could lose consciousness and never quit!"

The referee knelt down and asked Tommy if he wanted to quit. Tommy weakly shook his head no as he slowly started to fade!

"Tommy's fading, Early!" Shake cried. "He might be having a nightmare of Ambrose right now as we speak!"

The referee then raised Tommy's right arm and let it go, only for it to land limply at his side. The referee counted one before raising Tommy's arm again. . .and letting it go. . .

. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO RAISE HIS ARM BACK UP, AND ELBOW AMBROSE IN THE FACE! With Ambrose's hold still intact, Tommy planted his feet back on the mat and pushed himself up, elbowing Ambrose in the face the whole way. . .until he finally broke free with a right hand to Ambrose's face with the fistful of brass knuckles! With Ambrose staggering back a bit, Tommy Irish whipped Thomas across the ring. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A STANDING SPINEBUSTER ON THE BOUNCEBACK! Tommy fell on top of Ambrose for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 THOMAS KICKED OUT! Tommy rolled off Ambrose in disbelief, and tried to catch his breath! Both men were down in the center of the ring as the referee began the ten count!

"VERCETTI IS DOWN! AMBROSE IS DOWN! BAH GAWD, WHO'S GONNA WIN THIS THING?" Early screamed unintelligibly as Tommy and Ambrose slowly staggered up to their feet, trading right hands upon facing each other! The crowd cheered "YAY!" in unison with Tommy's punches and "BOO!" in unison with Thomas Ambrose's punches until Tommy surprised "UWE's Worst Nightmare" with a kick to the midsection. . .then turned him around and hooked his arms for the Vercetti Driver!

"TOMMY IS LOOKING TO PUT AMBROSE AWAY!" Early cried as Tommy lifted Ambrose off the ground. . .

. . .but Ambrose dropped out of it behind Tommy, and took him down with an inverted DDT! Ambrose went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 TOMMY KICKED OUT! Ambrose stared down Tommy with a glare full of contempt!

"Ambrose thought he had the Harwood Butcher dead to rights there, but it's gonna take more than that to put Tommy Vercetti away!" Shake said as Ambrose slid out of the ring and looked under the apron for a weapon while Tommy pulled himself up with the ropes in front of him! Ambrose pulled a square piece of wood out from under the apron and slid back into the ring. . .to a kendo stick shot from Tommy! Tommy raised the kendo stick high above his head again and thrust it toward Ambrose again. . .

. . .but Ambrose caught it in time! Ambrose kept his grip on the kendo stick as he pulled himself up to his feet. . .AND BROKE IT AGAINST HIS KNEE!

"Ohhh God….HE'S ANGRY!" Shake said as Ambrose lunged toward Tommy and put him in a tie-up before Irish whipping Tommy across the ring! On the bounceback, Ambrose took Tommy down with a drop toe hold. . .

. . .THAT SENT HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE BARBED-WIRE WRAPPED STEEL CHAIR!

"GOOD GRIEF!" Early shouted toward his broadcast partner. "These two men have torn each other to shreds! They may not look the same after this match, the way it continues to go!"

Tommy clenched his face in pain as Ambrose grabbed him by his shirt and kneed him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB! Ambrose went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99999999 TOMMY KICKED OUT! Ambrose looked up at the ceiling and roared in frustration!

"Tommy's face is shredded, he's bleeding everywhere, and he's been hit in the head too many times to count. . .but by God, if he isn't the toughest SOB in XCW, I don't know who is!" Early said, as Tommy rolled onto his chest and pushed himself slowly up to his knees! Ambrose went for a boot to his face. . .

. . .but Tommy dodged it in time! Tommy staggered up to his feet, only to receive another kick to the midsection! Ambrose then put him in position for the Death Driver. . .

. . .but with what little strength he had left, Tommy countered it with a back body drop, sending Ambrose to land on the mat face-up! Ambrose staggered up to his feet while Tommy dashed against the ropes to his right. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS! Tommy then hammered away at Ambrose's face with thunderous and fast right and left hands before standing up and looking around at the raucous crowd, his face literally covered in blood!

"He may be wearing the crimson mask, but Tommy's still eager to fight!" Early commented before Tommy picked up the stop sign. . .ran toward Ambrose. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A LEG DROP, CRUSHING THE STOP SIGN ONTO AMBROSE'S BODY! Tommy shoved the stop sign under the bottom rope and onto the ringside floor before going for a pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99999 THOMAS AMBROSE KICKED OUT! Tommy punched the mat repeatedly in frustration!

"What is going through Tommy Vercetti's mind right now?" Shake wondered. "What does he have to do to put away this sick freak?"

Tommy looked around the ring. . .and saw the table near a corner!

"Perhaps the answer lies with that table!" Early said, as Tommy stumbled over to the corner and grabbed the table! Tommy then set the table up in the center of the ring and pulled Ambrose's face up so he could look right into his blood-stained face!

"My God! For Tommy, this has got to be like looking in a mirror!" Early said.

"Or into the future!" Shake added, as Tommy shouted to Ambrose. . .

"WELCOME. . .TO MY NIGHTMARE—"

. . .UNTIL SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH A CANISTER!

"WAIT A MINUTE! IT'S SPONGEBOB WITH A CANISTER SHOT TO THE HEAD! DAMN IT! DAMN THAT SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

Ambrose faltered a bit into a seated position in the corner while Spongebob thrust the unlabeled canister into Tommy Vercetti's blood-covered face.

"YOU THINK I'M NOT EXTREME?" Spongebob yelled. "I AM EXTREME!"

Spongebob then stomped toward the table. . .turned the canister upside-down. . .

. . .AND DOUSED THE TABLE WITH LIGHTER FLUID!

"Spongebob's not doing this to help Ambrose! He's out for payback against Tommy for saving Scorpion!" Early exclaimed at the sight, while Thomas Ambrose staggered up to his feet in the corner!

"And to prove that he is capable of destruction!" Shake added. "But you don't think he's really gonna-"

Suddenly, Spongebob pulled a small book of matches out. . .

. . .AND SET THE TABLE ON FIRE!

"NOOOO WAY!" Shake screamed, as Spongebob slid out of the ring while Thomas pulled Tommy up by the shirt. . .AND CLIMBED UP TO THE TOP ROPE!

"BY GOD! NOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Early yelled, until Thomas Ambrose set Tommy up. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE, TAKING TOMMY DOWN WITH THE DEATH DRIVER THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!

BOTH MEN WERE DOWN IN THE CENTER OF THE RING, WRITHING AND SHAKING UPON IMPACT WITH THE FLAMES!

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOODDDD!" Early shouted at the top of his lungs! "BOTH MEN ARE ON FIRE!"

With what little strength he had left, Thomas Ambrose crawled toward Tommy, and draped his arm over his body for a cover! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"MERCILESSLY, THIS MATCH IS FINALLY OVER!" Shake screamed as the bell rang, and "Isopropanol" by Aphex Twin played in the arena!

"The winner of this match. . ."UWE's Worst Nightmare". . .THOMAS AMBROSE!"

The referee raised Thomas's arm in victory and immediately waved for something off-screen.

"Ladies and gentlemen, what you just saw were two very evenly-matched men taking each other to their limit!" Early said. "Tommy Vercetti promised to welcome Ambrose to XCW, while Ambrose welcomed Tommy to HIS nightmare, but in the end, thanks to that damn sponge, Tommy Vercetti is still without a victory since April!"

Tommy Vercetti stirred and slowly pushed himself up to his knees, holding onto the second rope while staring down Spongebob, who stood on the stage chanting "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" to boos from the crowd!

"No kidding! Tommy returned to XCW with a huge bang despite the losing effort! Still, I don't know what Tommy will see in his nightmares more tonight, Ambrose or Spongebob!" Shake commented, as a stretcher made its way down the ramp, and EMTs slid in to check on Thomas Ambrose. "But who's to say Thomas Ambrose doesn't want to fight some more?" Shake asked while the EMTs slid Thomas Ambrose onto a stretcher and pushed it up the ramp, while a wide, sadistic grin formed on Thomas's face!

"I wish I knew, Shake." answered Early. "Whenever he makes his return to UWE, I wouldn't want to cross him in a back alley! All I know is that Tommy Vercetti will walk into Heatwave with the same intensity he showed tonight cranked up to eleven million! He looks like he wants to not only shut Spongebob up. . .but render him lifeless! I have a feeling that with his showing here tonight, and Spongebob claiming to be extreme, who's to say that the streets of Liberty City could turn into a warzone once the Liberty City Street Fight begins?"

Tommy Vercetti glared at Spongebob with the same malicious stare, until he collapsed onto the mat.

Suddenly, the show cut back to Claude's dressing room in the backstage area, where Claude and Jessica laid on an air mattress, their naked bodies covered by a sheet and blanket.

"This was the best idea ever." Claude said, completely relaxed.

"The sex, or the air mattress?" asked Jessica.

Claude looked into Jessica's eyes. "Both."

They shared a brief kiss before Jessica snuggled up against Claude. . .with her arm draped over his torso. . .

. . .AND THE REFEREE HIDING IN A CLOSET, RECOGNIZING IT AS A PIN ATTEMPT!

The referee crawled toward the bed and silently made the count! 1. ..

"WHAT THE—" Early shouted!

2\. . .

"WAIT A MINUTE!" yelled Shake, completely befuddled. . .

. . .3!

. . .as the referee sat the XCW Hardcore title belt next to Jessica's side of the air mattress!

"What just happened?" Early asked aghast, while the referee picked up Jessica's arm to raise it in victory, only for Jessica to sharply turn toward him, shooting her eyes open and screaming bloody murder!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Claude and Jessica shouted, with Jessica covering her body with the sheet before standing up out of bed, with Claude covering himself with the blanket, angrily staring at the referee!

"WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING, MAN?"

The referee put his arms up in protest! "Jessica Wilson, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"WHAT?" was all Jessica could scream!

Claude scoffed, and his mouth hung open agape as he looked in disbelief at his girlfriend! "YOU—YOU SLEPT WITH ME FOR THE HARDCORE TITLE?"

"NO!" Jessica insisted as she backed up against a wall. "NO! I SWEAR, I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE THE CHAMPION!"

"BULLSHIT! YOU'RE REALLY THAT DESPERATE?"

Jessica stood against the wall next to the door, shaking her head in protest. However, under their shouting, the doorknob shook. . ..

"NO! CLAUDE, I LOVE—"

. . .AND DEADPOOL SWUNG THE DOOR OPEN FROM THE OUTSIDE, NAILING JESSICA RIGHT IN THE HEAD!

"HONEY! I'M HOOOOOME!" Deadpool looked around the room and saw the referee, a blanket-covered Claude, and Jessica Wilson out cold on the floor face-up!

"It's been a long, hard day, losing the XCW Hardcore title match, getting dissembled, destroying the fourth wall. . .but now, I'm ready for my REVENGE! You stole my Hardcore title after the Royal Rumble, and now I'm going to steal yours!" Deadpool said, pulling out his pistol and stepping toward Claude.

"You want it?" Claude shouted. "YOU GOT IT! I need some fucking air. . ."

Claude gathered his clothes while Deadpool stepped over to Jessica. "She's the Hardcore Champion?"

Claude looked at Deadpool, visibly annoyed. "YES!"

Deadpool's eyes widened at Claude, "This set of BEWBS is the XCW Hardcore Champion?"

"YES!"

Deadpool looked at Claude with a blank stare under his mask. "I love you."

While Claude stormed out of the room, Deadpool went for a cover on Jessica, hooking the leg! 1. . .

"I would do so much to you that's not in the Kama Sutra….starting with this! I call it. . ."

2\. . .

". . .the TITLE WIN!"

. . .3!

Deadpool stood up from the cover as the referee handed him the Hardcore title belt!

"Congratulations, Deadpool, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

The referee raised Deadpool's arm in victory before looking back at the Merc With A Mouth.

"YEAH! THE CHAMP IS HERE!" Deadpool shouted before leaving the room with his referee.

"Thank you, random referee! Just out of interest, how were they on a scale from 1 to 10?" Deadpool asked his referee, leaving Jessica knocked out cold on the floor until the show went to a commercial break.

Alrighty, there's the second part of the show! Special thanks to Cato and ForceWalker for writing the promos for Ben/Gwen and Chaos, respectively. As always, please let me know if there's anything I can do to improve my promo writing, or if anyone's characters were written out of character, and I will go in and correct it! For the final chapter of the Supershow, it's main event time! Garfield will square off against Chaos The Hedgehog, Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh will take on Team 2D, and Tai and Sora will face Ben and Gwen Tennyson! Who will win, what will happen, and will the XCW Hardcore Championship be back in the hands of XCW by the end of the night? Find out in the final part of the Supershow!

Until then, please READ AND REVIEW!


	35. XCW Summer Supershow: Part 3

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a long time coming, but now I come bearing the thrilling conclusion to the XCW Summer Supershow! I only own my championships!

As the Summer Supershow returned from break, Deadpool raised the XCW Hardcore Championship high above his head as he stomped down the hallway.

"…NO TIME FOR LOSERS, 'CAUSE WE ARE THE CHAAAAMPIOOOONS…." sang Deadpool until his eyes widened in recognition.

"Woah! Wait a minute…am I crazy—well, the answer to that is yes. . .but is that really. . ." Deadpool said, briefly before turning back to look ahead of him to see. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."SANDY CHEEKS!" Deadpool exclaimed, to narrowed eyes from the fur-covered figure standing in front of him.

"Oh, come on, you friendly, furry lunatic! I just wanted to psyche out the audience. The author's long rows of ellipses never fail to keep them on the edge of their seat! I know it's you. . .CONKER!"

The camera panned right to reveal Conker standing in front of the Merc With A Mouth!

"It's all right, Wade. I know you're a kidder! Now give me a hug, fellow fourth-wall breaker!"

"Gladly! I love you, bro, no homo!" Deadpool and Conker hug in the center of the hallway before letting go and facing each other. "So what brings you to the XCW Summer Supershow?" Deadpool asked.

"Oh, I've been training!" answered Conker. "I'm fixin' to come back to UWE soon, and I gotta get back into top physical form!"

"Oh, that's right!" Deadpool exclaimed. "You answer Bennet Curse's challenge at Barely Legal!"

Conker's eyes widened. "WADE! You just spoiled part of UWE's next pay-per-view to the XCW audience!"

"They already know, man!" insisted Deadpool. "Barely Legal's on a commercial break right now! In fact, let me tell them what else happens. We could start a whole new Monday Night War!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T, WILSON!" Conker retorted, clenching his teeth in building anger. "The creator of XCW specifically said that this Supershow takes place before Barely Legal!"

"Who cares about what the author said?" Deadpool asked. "He doesn't own the companies we're a part of! Even with that in mind, the way our universes work is as illogical as my thought process and yours!"

Conker's eye twitched. "How's THIS FOR ILLOGICAL?"

Conker then screamed at Deadpool before charging toward him. . .

. . .AND TAKING HIM DOWN WITH A SPEAR! Conker hammered away at Deadpool's face with swift right and left hand before standing above him. . .reaching into his pocket. . .

. . .AND CLOCKING DEADPOOL IN THE FACE TWICE WITH A FRYING PAN! Deadpool fell to the ground as a referee walked past Conker!

"Hey zebra!" Conker said to the referee, who stopped in his tracks and turned around to step toward him!

"Make the count, would ya?" Conker asked before laying on top of Deadpool for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And everyone's favorite foul-mouthed squirrel has become the XCW Hardcore Champion!" Early said, as the referee handed Conker the XCW Hardcore title belt!

"Congratulations, Conker, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"FUCK YEAH!" Conker screamed as the referee raised his arm in victory. He looked down at his newly-won title belt, draping it over his shoulder before walking back down the hallway with the referee striding far behind him.

"My comeback is off to a fucking great start! Who knows what'll happen when I bring this baby to UWE?" Conker wondered to himself. . .

". . .I DO!"

. . .UNTIL THE TRIX RABBIT CAME FROM OUT OF NOWHERE AND SHATTERED A GLASS CEREAL BOWL OVER CONKER'S HEAD!

"Wait a minute!" Shake exclaimed. "What's the damn Trix Rabbit doing here?"

"That was supposed to be full of delicious TRIX!" screamed the Trix Rabbit. "But since I can't get any from those damn kids. . .I'll settle on a title. . .YOURS!"

The Trix Rabbit then pulled Conker up to his feet before slamming him face-first into the wall to his right. . .then lifted him up. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM WITH THE TRIXBUSTER ONTO THE GLASS FROM THE SHATTERED BOWL!

"GOOD GRIEF!" Early cringed. "The Trixbuster onto that shattered glass! And by God, I don't think this is how Conker wanted to return to fiction wrestling!"

"MINE! It's mine!" The Trix Rabbit exclaimed before going for a cover! The referee made the count 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.999999999999999999999 THE TRIX RABBIT GETS KNOCKED OUT WITH A PUNT KICK TO THE HEAD! The Trix Rabbit and Conker were down on the concrete floor as an unknown man's pair of cleats stood next to Conker's head.

"Silly Rabbit. . ." said the unknown man. . .with the camera panning up. . .revealing the man to be. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .". . .titles are for champions!"

. . .TOM BRADY!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Shake screamed, as Tom Brady went for a cover of his own! The referee made the count 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"And the hometown hero has become the XCW Hardcore Champion!" Early said, as Tom Brady (as he appeared on Family Guy) stood up from the cover and received the Hardcore title belt from the referee!

"Congratulations, Tom Brady! You are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"YEAH! WOO!" Tom hollered before looking down at the belt. "It won't look great next to my MVP trophies, but on me. . .it looks. . ."

Tom Brady then fastened the Hardcore title belt around his waist before smirking toward the camera.

". . .awesome!"

Tom Brady walked past the camera and down the hallway with a sly grin until the show went back to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!"

The crowd cheered until. . .

. . ."Bad Man" by Jim Johnston played! Garfield stomped down the ramp to a chorus of boos from the crowd with Jon Arbuckle at his side, and an incensed, focused look on his face.

"Introducing first. . .being accompanied to the ring by Jon Arbuckle. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .GARFIELD!"

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, right now we're about to start the first of three dream matches in the making!" Early said. "Starting with a battle that has been called a modern day fight between Zeus and Hercules, the latter, in this case, taking form of the monster of XCW, and former XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .Garfield!"

Garfield stepped over all three ropes and glared around the arena with a look of anger.

"He'd certainly be our personal Hercules if he weren't so sadistic, Early!" Shake contested. "This cat is an absolute beast of an animal! He's a former XCW World Heavyweight Champion, won the first-ever match inside the Cell of Chaos, and plans to reclaim the XCW World Heavyweight Championship as his own in a Last Man Standing match for the title against Tai Kamiya at Heatwave in Liberty City! But before that, the monster Garfield has to do what his manager Jon Arbuckle has said he would do all week…defeat a God."

Garfield stared up the ramp in anticipation until the lights began to flicker on and off…

…and "King of Kings" by Motorhead played! Purple lightning struck the stage as Chaos The Hedgehog stepped onto the entranceway with his arms extended and raised high about his head, and the UWE Omega Championship belt around his waist.

"And his opponent. . .representing UWE. . .from Parts Unknown. . .he is the UWE Omega Champion. . .and the "God of Destruction". . .CHAOS THE HEDGEHOG!"

Beating his chest like a gorilla, Chaos strode down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

"Chaos The Hedgehog looks to be all business here tonight. . .the business of brutality, that is!" Early said. "And his track record shows the same reputation! Ever since his debut in UWE, Chaos has never lost a match by submission, knockout or referee stoppage, while most of his victories were decided by referee stoppage! Chaos The Hedgehog is one of the most destructive forces not only in this business, but also in this universe!"

Chaos entered the ring and climbed onto a turnbuckle before taking the UWE Omega title belt off his waist and motioning for the fans to bow down before him.

"For that reason, he's even been calling himself the 'God of Destruction.'" Shake added. "If you ask me, Chaos is nothing more than a hedgehog with a God complex, and Garfield will exploit that here tonight!"

"I wouldn't be so cynical, Shake!" Early insisted. "Just look at what he did to Disco Kid at the CCW/UWE Supershow many weeks ago, or the night he won the Omega title at UWE Bad Blood. Chaos is a brutal force of nature, and is capable of torturing his opponents and everyone he crosses! But tonight, he's crossing the monster Garfield, who, along with his manager, Jon Arbuckle, has said time and time again that this match that we're about to see right now is a fight of Biblical proportions! We're about to find out what happens when XCW's behemoth and the God of Destruction butt heads!"

The bell rang and the match began with Chaos and Garfield charging toward each other from opposite sides of the ring and meeting in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Garfield quickly rammed his head against Chaos's with a massive headbutt, then Irish whipped him across the ring. Garfield went for another headbutt, but Chaos held onto the ropes before he could bounce back! With Garfield caught off-guard, Chaos charged toward Garfield and slugged him with an uppercut, then kicked him in the midsection before putting him in a headlock. . .only for Garfield to lift the God of Destruction up. . .and slam him down to the mat with a suplex! Garfield went for the cover 1. . .2 . . .Chaos kicked out!

Garfield pulled Chaos up to his feet…only for Chaos to whack Garfield with an elbow before knocking him back a bit with a clothesline! Chaos then slugged Garfield in the chest with a throat thrust and nailed him in the face with a right hand punch combination! Garfield stumbled forward a bit toward a corner. . .until Chaos grabbed him by the back and shoved him face-first in between the top two corners. . .only for Garfield to grab the ropes before making impact! Garfield turned around to face Chaos…who took him down with a Big Boot to the chin! Chaos quickly went for the cover 1. . .Garfield powered out! Chaos then landed a series of angry stomps onto Garfield's chest and face before going for another cover 1. . .2. . .Garfield powered out, sending Chaos flying onto the ring apron above the second rope! Chaos pulled himself back up to his feet with the ropes as Garfield charged toward him for a Shoulder Block…

. . .only for Chaos to surprise him with a Shoulder Thrust! Garfield faltered back a bit as Chaos reentered the ring over the second rope and slugged Garfield with another throat thrust! Chaos then Irish whipped Garfield hard toward the ropes, but Garfield latched onto the ropes before he could bounce back. . .

. . .until Chaos clotheslined him HARD, sending the XCW Monster over the ropes and down to the covered concrete floor, Garfield landing onto it with a sickening thud!

"I think I heard the ground shake, Early!" Shake declared, while Chaos stared down his non-believer from inside the ring! Garfield rose up to a standing position, gathering his bearings while Chaos ran against the ropes behind him. . .

. . .charged toward Garfield. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE DESCENT FROM HELL! Chaos and Garfield were down at the foot of the ramp as the crowd chanted "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"So far, Chaos the Hedgehog is proving himself worthy of his God-like status against the monster Garfield!" Early said. "What does the UWE Omega Champion plan to do now?"

As the referee began the ten-count, Chaos became the first to rise to his feet, upon which, he pulled Garfield up by the head and nailed him in the face with a right hand combination. . .only for Garfield to come right back with a knee to the gut! Garfield then turned Chaos around and lifted him onto his shoulders! Garfield ran toward the ring for a pumphandle slam. . .until Chaos dropped out of Garfield's grasp behind him and shoved Garfield chest-first into the ring apron! Garfield winced in pain from the impact until Chaos grabbed Garfield by the arm and Irish whipped him right into the steel steps, Garfield colliding into them with a sickening thud, forcing them to crash against the barricade!

"BAH GAWD Shake! Chaos is just tossing Garfield around like a rag doll!" Early declared.

"We haven't seen anyone do this to Garfield since XCW's inception!" Shake added, as Chaos pulled Garfield up by the head and slid him back into the ring under the bottom rope, right as the referee's count reached nine! Chaos went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Garfield powered out! Chaos landed on the mat, looking at Garfield in complete and utter disbelief!

"Chaos may have the strength to throw Garfield's weight around, but the number one contender for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship won't go down that easily!" Early said, as Garfield rose up to his feet and pulled Chaos up by the quills before tossing him into a corner, with Chaos landing into it back-first! Chaos winced on impact until Garfield charged toward the "God of Destruction". . .

. . .AND SMOTHERED HIM IN THE CORNER WITH A SPLASH! Chaos slumped forward trying to regain his breath until Garfield grabbed him by the throat and pushed him back into the corner, pressing his face against the corner! The referee ran toward Garfield and ordered him to stop choking Chaos. . .only for Jon Arbuckle to step onto the ring apron and distract the referee! Garfield continued choking Chaos in the corner. . .until Chaos nailed Garfield with a kick to the shin!

"OOOOH!" Shake cringed. "And that's why you always have your pets spayed or neutered!"

Garfield held his leg until Chaos threw Garfield shoulder-first into the corner while Jon pointed toward Chaos screaming "KICK TO THE GROIN! KICK TO THE GROIN! SEE WHAT HE DID?"

"Chaos didn't hit him in the groin, Shake! But Arbuckle's trying to get him disqualified as if he did!" Early said.

Chaos sneered at Jon Arbuckle with an annoyed look until he grabbed Garfield by the back. . .

. . .and threw him right into the referee AND Jon Arbuckle! The referee hit Arbuckle head-on, knocking him off the ring apron and down to the ringside floor face and chest-first while the referee crumbled to the mat, down and out!

"OH MY GOD!" Early screamed. "Jon Arbuckle is out, but so is the referee!"

"Now these two monsters can do whatever the hell they want to each other!" Shake added. "There's no order in this battle anymore!"

Garfield turned around to face Chaos, who charged toward him. . .but Garfield met him with a headbutt! Garfield then threw Chaos back into the corner and held him down with one massive paw! Garfield then looked around at the crowd, and put one finger against his mouth, telling the fans to quiet down. . .

. . .BEFORE SLAPPING CHAOS IN THE CHEST WITH A MASSIVE CHOP! Chaos let out a cry of pain only for Garfield to lift Chaos high above his head in a Military Press formation. . .

. . .but Chaos dropped out of it and took down the XCW Monster with a Russian Leg Sweep! Chaos then pulled Garfield up to a standing position, slugged him with a headbutt of his own that sent Garfield stumbling toward the ropes in a daze. . .then took him down with a bulldog!

"Chaos is putting another beat down onto Garfield in this match, but what good will it do if there's no referee?" Early wondered as Chaos stepped toward the referee and knelt down to wake him up. . .

. . .but Garfield suddenly sat up and lumbered toward Chaos! Garfield grabbed Chaos from behind and took him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Garfield then backed up to the ropes behind him, kicking the referee out of the ring under the second rope before turning around and lifting Chaos high above his head in a Military Press!

"By God, look at the strength of Garfield!" Early cried just before Garfield launched Chaos out of the ring. . .and onto the ruins of Early and Shake's announcer's table!

"Good grief!" Shake exclaimed. "He just threw the so-called God of Destruction out here where we are! If he can do that, I can only imagine what he'll do to Tai in two weeks at Heatwave in a Last Man Standing match!"

Garfield climbed over all three ropes, roaring upon stepping onto the ring apron to boos from the crowd. Garfield stepped down to the ringside floor, stood over Chaos and pulled him up to his feet…but Chaos surprised him with another headbutt, forcing Garfield to drop him. Once Chaos landed on his feet, he ran toward Garfield and speared him against the announcer's table behind him! As Garfield sold his abdomen in pain, Chaos caught Garfield. . .lifted him up with all his might. . .

. . .AND BROUGHT HIM DOWN WITH AN AA SPINEBUSTER ON THE RUINS OF THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE! Chaos rolled off Garfield, gasping for breath while Garfield was laid out in front of Shake and Early!

"Chaos The Hedgehog may be a God of Destruction, but lifting Garfield off of his feet is a challenge in and of itself!" Early declared, as Chaos staggered up to his knees, gathering his bearings. Chaos then backed up to the ring apron, and waited for Garfield to stagger up to his knees. Chaos then charged toward Garfield, kicked both legs. . .

. . .BUT GARFIELD CAUGHT CHAOS'S FOOT BEFORE HE COULD LAND THE BICYCLE KICK! Garfield threw Chaos's leg around, forcing him to spin while Garfield stood up to his feet. . .and took him down with a Samoan Drop on the covered concrete floor!

"Jeez!" Early cringed. "All of Garfield's size and weight may have just suffocated the UWE Omega Champion!"

"And Garfield's still not through!" Shake observed, as Garfield lifted Chaos up with a massive hand, then draped his arm over his shoulder. He lifted him high above his head for a Forward Suplex. . .but Chaos dropped out of it behind Garfield, and took him down with a huge neckbreaker slam!

"One minute, Garfield's in control, but the next, Chaos finds a way back into this thing!" Early said. "This God and XCW's monster are very evenly-matched!"

"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "What's going through their minds right now?"

Chaos rolled onto his chest and pushed himself up to his knees, pondering his next move…until Garfield put him in a waist-lock and took him down with a back suplex! Garfield then looked down at his opponent with a fierce, angry stare…as he raised his foot and pressed it up against Chaos's chest, choking him!

"DEAR GOD!" Garfield's using all of his body weight as a weapon! And Chaos the Hedgehog is fighting for his life right now!" Early observed.

"I thought Gods couldn't feel pain!" Shake scoffed. "Chaos is gonna wish he never called himself a God of Destruction in the first place!"

Garfield finally stepped off of Chaos. . .and toward the Spanish announcer's table, where he removed the protective covering!

"OH MY GOD!" Early screamed. "Garfield's looking to turn this into more than just a battle…he's looking to make it into a WAR!",

Garfield ripped every TV monitor out of the table and threw each of them to the ground, save for the last one…which he threw towards Chaos's head!...but Chaos spun out of the way just in time! Lowering his brow in anger, Chaos pushed himself up to his feet and charged toward Garfield. . .

. . .who caught him in mid-air and sent him flying into the crowd with a belly-to-belly suplex! Garfield then turned around and climbed over the barricade. . .before grabbing a steel chair from ringside! Garfield raised the chair high above his head while Chaos staggered up to his feet. . .

. . .AND NAILED CHAOS BETWEEN THE EYES WITH A MASSIVE UNPROTECTED CHAIR SHOT! The crowd around them cringed upon hearing the sick impact of the metal chair against Chaos's head after Chaos fell to the ground. Garfield then dropped the steel chair and reached down to pick up Chaos. . .

. . .but Chaos took down the monster with a drop toe hold, his face colliding into the steel chair!

"WHAT THE HELL?" screamed Shake. "Chaos just got his brains scrambled, and now all of a sudden, he's back in control!"

"Garfield's taken Chaos to hell and back, but Chaos keeps getting back up. . .with that stamina and fortitude, you gotta start to wonder, Shake. . .what if he IS a God?" wondered Early, while Chaos pulled Garfield up by the head and nailed him across the face with a right hand. Chaos then pulled Garfield up to his feet and Irish whipped him hard toward the barricade, with Garfield crashing against it back-first! Garfield winced in pain while Chaos charged toward him. . .

. . .AND HIT HIM WITH A BICYCLE KICK TO THE FACE! Garfield held onto the barricade with one hand, struggling to keep himself upright! As the fans around them chanted "LET'S GO CHAOS!" "GARFIELD!" "LET'S GO CHAOS!" "GARFIELD!", Chaos picked Garfield up by the legs. . .and sent him toppling over the barricade, back onto the ringside floor! Shaking his head back into reality, Chaos stood on the barricade with the steel chair under him. . .

. . .AND CRUSHED THE CHAIR AGAINST GARFIELD'S TORSO WITH A LEG DROP! Chaos rolled off Garfield, gasping for breath on the ringside floor while the fans chanted "THAT WAS SICK! THAT WAS SICK!" Both men were down on the ringside floor. . .

. . .until Garfield turned onto his chest and pushed himself up to his knees!

"Just back and forth! Back and forth fighting between these two larger-than-life beings!" Early called, as Garfield staggered up to a standing position. . .and extended his right arm out, taunting for Chaos to stand up! Chaos finally sat up and turned around as he stood up. . .

. . .walked toward Garfield's grasp. . .

. . .AND CAUGHT GARFIELD'S FIST IN TIME! Chaos then whipped Garfield right into the announcer's table abdomen first! Before Garfield could roar in pain, Chaos put Garfield into a waist-lock. . .and took him down with a single German suplex, sending Garfield to land onto his shoulders facing the ring!

"The monster Garfield is folded like an accordion!" Early observed. "Chaos the Hedgehog is finding his footing against XCW's behemoth!"

Chaos then lifted Garfield up for a Fireman's carry position. . .but Garfield dropped down and landed on his feet in time to put Chaos into a waist-lock of his own and take him down with a back drop onto the concrete floor! Selling his left shoulder, Garfield sat up, slowly bringing himself up to his knees before grabbing Chaos by the back and forcing him up to his feet before chucking him toward the announcer's table, with his torso colliding into it with a sickening thud! Chaos sold his abdomen on impact before pausing to collect himself. . .until Garfield lifted Chaos off his feet, squeezed him against his body. . .but Chaos fought out of it and kept a headlock locked onto Garfield's neck! Chaos landed onto his feet, still holding onto Garfield until he lifted him up. . .and took him down with a forward suplex on the floor! Garfield roared in pain as Chaos kept the headlock onto his adversary!

"Will you look at the strength of Chaos the Hedgehog?" Early called. "Lifting a monster the size of Garfield is no easy task, but Chaos is doing it with almost the greatest of ease! But what's he doing now?

Chaos then pulled Garfield up, and draped his arms and torso over the Spanish announcer's table! Chaos then lifted his legs, and set Garfield face-up onto the announcer's table before climbing onto it with him!

"No way!" Shake said as he watched Chaos pull Garfield up to his feet and lift him up. . .

. . .INTO A FIREMAN'S CARRY POSITION!

"Wait…but…Chaos can't do it again! He's lifted Garfield off his feet twice now!" Early yelled as Chaos took one step forward. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND PUT GARFIELD THROUGH THE TABLE WITH RAGNAROK!

BOTH CHAOS AND GARFIELD LAID IN THE REMAINS OF THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER'S TABLE AS THE CROWD CHANTED "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

"BAH GAWD SHAKE! BAH GAWD CHAOS JUST PUT GARFIELD RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE! AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!" Early screamed somehow intelligibly.

"GARFIELD'S WEIGHT HAD TO HAVE CRUSHED HIM! IF CHAOS GETS UP FROM THIS, I WON'T EVEN QUESTION THE FACT HE IS A GOD!" declared Shake, as the monstrous beings still laid motionless on the wreckage of the Spanish announcer's table. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL GARFIELD STIRRED!

"Oh my God…." Shake foreboded, as Garfield slowly turned around to try to pull himself up to his knees.

"And despite being put through a table, despite taking a bicycle kick to the face, despite being lifted off his feet and slammed to the concrete over and over again, this monster Garfield still won't go down!" Early called!

"Good Lord! Does Garfield get off on pain, too?" Shake wondered while Garfield staggered up to his feet and pulled Chaos up by the arm. . .and Irish whipped him HARD toward the ring post, with Chaos hitting it face-first before falling to the floor!

"Lifting the massive weight of Garfield is starting to take its toll on the God of Destruction!" Shake observed. "It looks as though putting him through that table did more bad than good."

Garfield then pulled Chaos up and against the ring apron before clubbing him in the face with a massive right arm! After giving Chaos a huge three-punch combination, Garfield stepped over to the ringside area, grabbed the steel chair he used earlier, then shoved Chaos back into the ring before climbing onto the ring apron. Garfield climbed over all three ropes and roared, taunting for Chaos to stand up. Chaos crawled toward the ropes and struggled to pull himself up to his feet while Garfield stood in the center of the ring, salivating with a wide, sadistic grin on his face!

"Why does Garfield need a weapon to begin with against Chaos?" Shake asked. "He's enough of a handful on his own!"

"The look on Garfield's face says it all…he wants to do everything necessary to prove Chaos is a mortal, and if he does that, his quest to regain the XCW World Heavyweight Championship will get that much easier!" Early declared, as Chaos slowly rose up to his feet. . .

. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY ANOTHER UNPROTECTED CHAIR SHOT BY GARFIELD! Garfield threw the chair down to the mat before pulling Chaos back up to his feet. . .and taking him down with a belly-to-belly side slam onto the steel chair! Garfield stood up and looked out of the ring. . .

. . .to see the referee rising up to his feet! Garfield pulled Chaos back up before kicking the steel chair under the bottom rope and out of the ring!

"Look at Garfield taking after his owner by hiding the evidence!" Early said in disgust, before Garfield turned Chaos over. . .and planted him down with a Fallaway Slam! The referee turned around while Garfield went for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 CHAOS KICKED OUT! Garfield shot up to his knees in disbelief!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Shake asked aloud!

"HOW DID CHAOS KICK OUT?" Early screamed unintelligibly, as the crowd went wild! Garfield sneered down at the God of Destruction before he pulled him back up to a standing position and hit him in the abdomen with a throat thrust! Chaos clenched his torso in pain before Garfield put him in position for a Powerbomb! Garfield picked Chaos up. . .

. . .raised him high above his shoulders. . .

. . .but Chaos dropped out of it, landing right behind him! With Garfield too slow to react quickly, Chaos turned right around and took Garfield down to the mat with a Falling Inverted DDT! Chaos went for the cover 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 GARFIELD KICKED OUT! Chaos sat up to his knees, cringing in agonizing disappointment! Favoring his abdomen, Chaos rose to his feet and backed up toward a corner while Garfield rolled onto his chest, trying to push himself up to his knees! Chaos then ran out of the corner. . .

. . .cocked his right leg back. . .

. . .BUT GARFIELD CAUGHT CHAOS BEFORE HE COULD PUNT HIM IN THE HEAD! GARFIELD CRUSHED CHAOS AGAINST HIS CHEST FOR THE CATHUG!

"NOOOO!" Early screamed. "Chaos went for the knockout punt, but Garfield caught him in time to suffocate Chaos with the Cathug! And by God, Shake, he may have Chaos where he wants him here, completely dead to rights!"

Chaos gasped and fought for air, even tried to elbow out of Garfield's grasp, but to no avail. The referee knelt down and asked Chaos if he wanted to quit. Chaos shook his head no while waving his arms around and gasping for air! Garfield fell down to his knees, taking Chaos with him. Chaos continued attempting to elbow out of the hold, but he began to fade out of consciousness, his arms beginning to move slower and slower!

"No God can fight out of the Cathug, Early!" Shake said! This is more proof that Chaos is nothing but all talk and no action!"

Chaos's body went limp as the referee raised his arm up, and dropped it, letting it fall to his side. The referee counted one before raising his arm again!

"In this battle of destructive forces. . ." Early said,

The referee dropped it, letting it fall to Garfield's side again, counting two!

The referee raised Chaos's arm once more. . .

"XCW's Hercules has conquered Hades—"

. . .dropped it, and let it fall to his side. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL CHAOS'S ARM SHOT BACK UP!

"—OR MAYBE NOT!" Early screamed, as the crowd rose to their feet again! Gaining a second breath, Chaos planted his feet back onto the mat and with all the strength he had left, pushed himself back up to a standing position, but Garfield still had the hold locked in! Sneering at his opponent with a look of fury, Chaos nailed Garfield right between the eyes with a headbutt, but Garfield wouldn't let him go! Chaos hit him in the face with another headbutt, with the hold still locked in, but Garfield's grip beginning to loosen…Chaos nailed him with one more headbutt, and finally broke free of the Cathug! Landing on his feet, Chaos hit Garfield with a punch combination that brought Garfield up against the ropes! Chaos then lifted Garfield up with what strength he had left. . .went for Snake Eyes. . .

. . .but Chaos faltered a bit, causing Garfield to drop down next to him! Garfield then lifted Chaos off the ground and took him down with a Sidewalk Slam! Garfield went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 CHAOS KICKED OUT! Garfield punched the mat repeatedly in frustration!

"WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO PUT CHAOS AWAY?" wondered Shake, as Garfield pushed himself up to his feet, yelling "COME ON!" to Chaos, taunting him to get up! Chaos sat up and somehow made it to a standing position, cringing in pain as he pulled himself up with the ropes! Chaos turned around to face Garfield. . .

. . .WHO GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT! Garfield went to lift Chaos up in the air for a Chokeslam. .

. . .but Chaos kicked Garfield in the shin, and drove him into the corner back-first with a tackle! Garfield went to latch onto Chaos's neck again with his massive hand. . .but Chaos stomped on Garfield's foot, causing Garfield to scream in pain and break the hold! Chaos then leapt up and whacked Garfield in the face with a high knee! Chaos backed up to the center of the ring while Garfield stumbled out of the corner. . .

. . .RIGHT INTO IMPENDING JUDGMENT!

"IMPENDING JUDGMENT CONNECTS!" Early shouted!

"I THINK THE RING JUST SHOOK!" said Shake, while Chaos crawled on top of Garfield for the cover, just barely able to hook the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 GARFIELD POWERED OUT! Chaos landed on the mat, stomping in anger!

"So close, but yet so far!" Early said, as Chaos pushed himself up to a standing position while holding onto a rope next to him. "The UWE Omega Champion is giving Garfield everything he has! But how much more does he have left?"

Chaos stepped toward the center of the ring while Garfield struggled to get up to his knees. Seeing Garfield in this position, Chaos put Garfield in a powerbomb position!

"OH MY GOD!" Early exclaimed! "With this move. . .there WILL be destruction, all right!"

"And Chaos will have finished Garfield off for sure!" added Shake, right before Chaos lifted Garfield up. . .

. . .but Chaos collapsed to his knees under Garfield's weight! Garfield landed on his feet. . .while Chaos, selling his back, turned away from Garfield. . .

. . .WHO GRIPPED ONTO CHAOS'S SIDES. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH AN ATOMIC DROP! But Garfield kept his grip onto Chaos. . .raised him up again. . .and brought him down with ANOTHER ATOMIC DROP! But he STILL wasn't through, for Garfield lifted Chaos up once more and thrust him down feet-first onto the mat with a third and final Atomic Drop!

"THAT'S IT! GARFIELD MAY HAVE DONE IT!" Early shouted while Garfield collapsed to the ground, covering Chaos! The referee made the count 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.9999999999999999 CHAOS GOT THE SHOULDER UP!

"NOOOOOO! NO! WHAT THE HELL?" Early screamed!

Garfield rolled off Chaos while the referee began the ten count! (1!)

"By God, both of these men have beaten the living hell out of each other!" Early said! (2!) They've fought in the crowd, destroyed the Spanish announcer's table, there's a chair with a massive dent in it, Jon Arbuckle is still down—" (3!)

Chaos crawled toward the ropes, trying to pull himself back up. . .

(4!) ". . .and there's a hedgehog and a housepet-turned-death machine inside that very ring who are seemingly indestructible! (5!) Shake added. "What if these two tear the arena down?" (6!)

. . .while Garfield sat up, selling his back! The referee's count reached seven as Garfield became the first to reach his feet, while Chaos was finally able to make it to his feet. Chaos turned around to the center of the ring. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO GARFIELD'S GRIP! Garfield had Chaos by the throat. . .

. . .until Chaos fought out of it by grabbing Garfield's arm and wrenching it! Garfield roared in agonizing pain until Chaos was able to catch Garfield in a headlock and take him down with a DDT! Chaos then rolled back onto his feet, clenching his chest while gasping for breath as he walked towards Garfield, who was rising up. . .until Chaos hooked both of his arms. . .

. . .lifted him up with every muscle in his body, wincing in increasing amounts of pain. . .

. . .UNTIL HE BROUGHT GARFIELD DOWN WITH THE FALL OF CHAOS!

"GARFIELD WENT ON THE FALL OF CHAOS! AND THIS COULD BE THE BEGINNING OF HIS DOWNFALL HERE!" Early cried, as Chaos went for the cover! 1. . .

"As the God of Destruction. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

". . .tames the beast. . ."

. . .

. . .2.99999999999999999 GARFIELD POWERED OUT!

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Early yelled! "HOW! HOW! HOW, I ASK YOU, HOW?"

"I. . .I don't even know, Early!" answered Shake, as the crowd stood on their feet chanting "THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!"

"But I agree with these fans here in the Hydrox Arena in Quahog, Rhode Island! This. . .IS. . .AWESOME!"

Chaos laid curled up in the center of the ring, clenching his torso in fatigue while Garfield crawled toward the ropes on the opposite side of the ring, scratching and clawing his way back up to his feet!

"You are right, Shake, this is a fantastic match between two larger than life individuals, but what will it take for one of them to put the other away?" wondered Early, as Garfield stepped toward Chaos with a limp, while Chaos managed to send Garfield stumbling back a bit with an uppercut! With a little more time to stand up, Chaos rose to a standing position while Garfield limped toward him once again! Chaos went for a kick to Garfield's midsection. . .

. . .but Garfield caught it and spun Chaos around so he could face his back! Garfield then shoved Chaos toward the ropes in front of him, waited for him to bounce back. . .

. . .AND GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT! Chaos fought for air as Garfield gripped tighter. . .

. . .turned around, raised Chaos high above his head. . .

. . .AND FINALLY TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A CHOKESLAM!

"BAH GAWD THAT'S GOTTA BE IT!" Early exclaimed as Garfield fell to his knees before smothering Chaos with a cover! 1. . .

"THE MONSTER GARFIELD. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

"HAS ENDED THE ERA OF-"

. . .2.9999999999999999999999999999 CHAOS KICKED OUT! Garfield looked down at Chaos, eyes wide and incensed with fury!

"WHAT IN THE HELL ARE WE SEEING?" Early shouted in disbelief while the crowd was in a frenzy!

"NOBODY'S EVER KICKED OUT OF GARFIELD'S CHOKESLAM!" Shake informed! "HOW IN THE HELL IS CHAOS STILL ABLE TO GO ON?"

Still limping a bit, Garfield rose up to his feet. . .and grabbed Chaos by the throat!

"Well, if one didn't do it, two will certainly finish the job!" Early said, as Garfield lifted Chaos off of the mat and glared right into his face with a hateful stare. . . .

. . .UNTIL CHAOS GRABBED GARFIELD BY THE THROAT FOR A CHOKESLAM OF HIS OWN!

"BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD SHAKE SOMETHING'S ABOUT TO GIVE BETWEEN THESE TWO MEN! WHO WILL TAKE THE PLUNGE BETWEEN THIS GOD AND THIS MONSTER?" Early unintelligibly shouted as Garfield drove Chaos back-first into a corner! His grip still on Chaos's neck, Garfield lifted Chaos onto the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .ONLY FOR CHAOS TO BLINDSIDE GARFIELD WITH A KICK TO THE TEMPLE! Garfield stumbled backwards a bit, clenching the side of his head while Chaos stepped off the top rope, his breathing labored as he limped toward Garfield. . .

"Garfield was about to chokeslam Chaos off the top rope, but the God of Destruction found an opening!" Early said. "But by God, what kind of destruction does Chaos have in mind right now? He's done just about EVERYTHING!"

Chaos stepped right in front of a dazed Garfield. . .kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND PUT HIM IN POSITION FOR A POWERBOMB!

"He's done everything. . .but take Chaos for a RIDE!" Shake hinted, as the fans rose to their feet! Chaos lifted Garfield up. . .

"Not just any ride, Shake. . ."

. . .stumbled back a bit. . .

". . .Chaos is finally putting Garfield. . ."

. . .RAISED HIM HIGH ABOVE HIS HEAD, ROARING IN PURE ADRENALINE. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

". . .ON A RIDE TO HELL!"

. . .AND SLAMMED HIM DOWN WITH THE RIDE TO HELL! Chaos fell to the mat, barely draping his arm onto Garfield's chest for a cover! 1. . .

"HE'S BEATEN BEN TENNYSON. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

"BUT AT THE XCW SUMMER SUPERSHOW. . ."

. . .

". . .CHAOS REIGNS. . ."

. . .2.999999999999999999999999999999 GARFIELD KICKED OUT!

BOTH MEN WERE DOWN IN THE CENTER OF THE RING AS THE CROWD CHEERED AT DEAFENING LEVELS, WITH THE REFEREE'S TEN COUNT BEGINNING!

"THIS MATCH HAS BEEN BACK AND FORTH FROM THE BEGINNING TILL NOW!" Early shouted. (1!) "THESE TWO BEINGS ARE BATTERED, HURT, AND BRUISED! THEY'VE USED EVERYTHING IN THEIR ARSENAL TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER! BUT WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR THIS GOD TO TAME XCW'S MONSTER?" (2!)

"Or what will it take for the Monster to dethrone the God?" Shake wondered, as the referee's count reached three! Back in the ring, Garfield rolled onto his side, then his chest while Chaos still laid motionless! (4!)

"These two men are larger than life, and this has been a larger-than-life match, but with a match like this, we've got to have a winner!" declared Early. (5!)

Chaos got onto his hands and knees and slowly began to crawl toward the ropes, faltering after every two steps! Meanwhile, the referee's count reached six!

"We may not get one, Early!" Shake said while Garfield pushed himself up with his arms. . .only to collapse back onto the mat! (7!) "These guys have literally fought each other until they can't go anymore!"

Chaos successfully made it to the ropes and draped his arm onto the lower rope, gasping for breath while the referee's count reached eight!

"As much as they need it, THEY CAN'T RELAX!" Early shouted. "THE MATCH IS AT STAKE!"

Chaos reached for the second rope. . .while Garfield got onto his hands and knees and crawled toward the ropes on his side of the ring. . .ONLY FOR THE REFEREE'S COUNT TO REACH NINE!

"CHAOS IS SO CLOSE! HE'S SO CLOSE TO REACHING HIS FEET!" Early yelled, as Chaos tried to pull himself up to his feet. . .

. . .while Garfield weakly grasped onto the second rope above him. . .

. . .

. . .BUT THE REFEREE'S COUNT REACHED TEN! Chaos fell to his hands and knees as the bell rang!

"NOOOOO! THE REFEREE CALLED FOR THE BELL!" Early shouted, as Chaos got onto one knee, and the fans were immediately silenced while Jon Arbuckle finally came back to consciousness on another side of the ring!

"Ladies and gentlemen. . ." Plankton announced, "Neither of the competitors were able to get back up to their feet before the count reached ten. . .therefore this match. . .is a DRAW!"

The crowd's massive groans of disappointment quickly turned into thunderous applause and mixed cheers toward both Chaos and Garfield!

"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight, for the first time, you have witnessed a match in an XCW arena that resulted in a draw!" Early informed. "But both of these beings, Chaos The Hedgehog and Garfield, proved themselves worthy of being in the positions that they are in right now!"

Jon Arbuckle slid into the ring to check on Garfield while the referee handed Chaos The Hedgehog his UWE Omega Championship belt.

"They sure are, Early!" agreed Shake. "But think of it this way: Garfield couldn't prove Chaos wasn't a God. . .but not even the God of Destruction could defeat XCW's monster! What that says about each man, I have no idea!"

"Well, I'll tell you what it says, Shake." Early said, as Chaos rolled out of the ring and stomped up the ramp, putting the UWE Omega title belt around his waist. "These two men are two of the most dominant and destructive forces in fictional wrestling today! And when you put a God against a monster, no matter what the outcome, chaos reigns supreme! And Chaos will reign big time in UWE, come Barely Legal, where Chaos The Hedgehog will defend the UWE Omega Championship in a Last Man Standing match against Kid Buu, who earlier tonight vowed to become champion, and destroy everything! I have a feeling that everything will be destroyed when those two finally collide!"

Jon Arbuckle helped Garfield up to his knees, upon which they looked up the ramp at Chaos, who stood on the stage raising his Omega title belt high above his head!

"Meanwhile, Garfield's going into XCW Heatwave in a Last Man Standing Match of his own for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!" added Shake. "He didn't defeat a God of Destruction tonight. . .but at the same time. . .he kept him from winning! I can't think of anybody else who can make that claim. . .so I have a feeling that both of these men will lead more paths of destruction as their careers move forward!"

Garfield and Jon Arbuckle glared angrily at Chaos The Hedgehog, who glared back at them from the stage!

"You're absolutely right, Shake! Where both these men go, carnage will follow! What will happen to them in the future, and what else will happen tonight on the XCW Summer Supershow?"

Chaos raised the UWE Omega title high above his head until the show went to the backstage area, where Bugs Bunny stood in a hallway with Yakko, Wakko and Dot.

"So, Doc, you and your siblings are guests of honor, huh?" Bugs asked the Warner siblings.

"Sure are!" Yakko answered. "We probably wouldn't have gotten invited if it wasn't for our Toon WWE Hall of Fame induction coming up!"

"Faboo!" Wakko said. "This place is cool. . ."

"So Bugs," Dot said, ". . .who's the best guy to annoy in XCW?"

". . .not me. Bugs knows that personally." An unknown voice bellowed. The Warner siblings turned around in the voice's direction, and saw that the man who interrupted them was none other than. . .

"Oh! Hello….eeeeeehhh. . .who exactly are you, Mister Ninja-Batman ripoff guy?" Yakko asked to. . .

"Hotsuma. Former leader of the Oboro Clan, former member of the Rookie Revolution, and FUTURE XCW World Heavyweight Champion!"

"So what are you now?" Wakko asked.

"From the looks of his four-eyed visor, he must be blind!" answered Dot.

Hotsuma seethed in anger. "Listen you little brats, I have to talk to Bugs about a grown-up matter, so stay out of our business, or else I'll devour your soul!"

Yakko looked on unafraid as Hotsuma unsheated his Akujiki sword. Wakko and Dot stepped back a bit in fear until Bugs stepped through them and came face-to-face with Hotsuma!

"Hey Doc, you can't threaten my friends! They may be legends in this business, but they're still children!" Bugs asked his former opponent.

"Those kids? Legends? I believe I can, now that I've beaten you and have established myself as a dangerous competitor here in XCW." retorted Hotsuma.

"Eh, I hate to break this to ya, Doc, but. . ." Bugs said. ". . .you used spiked knuckles to beat me! Tai saw it, Garfield saw it, the fans saw it, heck, I saw it AND felt it! You haven't proved anything here until you've beaten a legend like me fair and square!"

"Well, Bugs. . .it's a good thing that fair and square won't apply at Heatwave, because every match has to feature a weapon. So I suggest that instead of throwing out weapons, we throw out the rulebook, and fight each other in a table match. What do you think about that?"

"What do I think?" Bugs asked. "I think YOU'RE ON!...and that your shoe's untied!"

Hotsuma looked down at his boots. . .only for Dot to surprise him with a big, sloppy kiss on the lips! Dot dropped back down, landing on her feet and running up to Wakko's side.

"Heh, ain't I a stinker?" Bugs asked the audience before walking out of the room with the Warner siblings behind him, leaving Hotsuma alone. He wiped his face with an annoyed grimace until the show went to a commercial break.

As the Supershow returned from break, Tom Brady walked down a hallway with the XCW Hardcore title belt around his waist, and a cocky grin, until he saw Colt Anderson passing him, wearing a blue shirt and his floor-length robe.

"Hey, Brady." Colt said with a smirk. "I see you're the XCW Hardcore Champion. What, are you so disappointed in yourself for losing to me, that you had to take the easy route to a title?"

Tom's eyes narrowed. "That was a fluke and you know it, Anderson! It doesn't matter if the title I hold is the XCW Hardcore title, the CCW Universal Championship, or a fourth MVP trophy, the fact of the matter is that you may have wear the Internet title now, but from titles in CCW, to fourth-quarter comebacks, to my three Super Bowl rings, I have won more titles and championships than you will ever hope to win in your entire lifetime!"

The crowd popped into cheers as Colt stepped closer to Tom!

"You may have more titles than me, but you don't have as many fans!" Colt snapped back. "I am a God to the Internet Wrestling Community, while the fanbases of every NFL team outside of New England hate your fucking guts!"

"You have your fair share of haters, too, you know!" Tom answered. "They hate that Best in the World was made to be all about YOU, your gimmick, and your stupid entrance!"

"Look who's talking, Brady!" retorted Colt. "You weren't on the card until you came from out of nowhere to win the belt you wear now! What does that sound like to me?"

"It sounds a little like. . .THIS!" Tom yelled, before nailing Colt in the face with a right hand!

"Oh my God!" screamed Shake, as Tom Brady and Colt Anderson hit each other with right hands in the hallway!

"And Tom Brady and Colt Anderson have come to blows in the backstage area!" Early said, as Tom Brady surprised Colt with a knee to the face that sent Colt reeling. Tom then grabbed Colt's robe and swung him face-first into the wall! Colt stumbled away from Brady in a daze, until Tom put him in a sleeper hold and went for the Personal Foul. . .

. . .but Colt nailed him in the family jewels with a kick to the groin!

"OOOOOH!" Early cringed. "Giselle won't be getting any action tonight!"

Colt slightly limped into another room while Tom fell to the ground, holding his private parts in pain. Tom struggled to regain his composure as he rose up to his feet. . .

. . .ONLY FOR COLT TO CHARGE BACK INTO THE HALLWAY AND TAKE TOM DOWN WITH A LADDER SHOT TO THE HEAD!

"DEAR GOD!" Shake cried. "Shades of Best in the World!"

Colt then threw down the ladder and yelled at a passing referee. "HEY! MAKE THIS COUNT!"

The referee ran toward Colt, who laid on top of Tom for the cover! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And PCUW finally gets a piece of the XCW Hardcore Championship!" Early said, as Colt rose up to his feet.

"YEAH! WOOOOO!" Colt screamed as the referee raised his arm in victory.

"Unfortunately, it also goes to Colt Anderson!" added Shake, as the referee picked up the XCW Hardcore title belt.

"Congratulations, Colt Anderson, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"Damn right I am!" Colt said, snatching the title belt from the referee. "This may look like shit, but it'll look great on me!"

Colt fastened the XCW Hardcore title belt around his waist, above the Internet Championship before striding down the hallway, until Sarge passed behind him, stepping on his robe.

"Hey, watch the robe, man! This was tailor-made!" Colt barked.

"Oh yeah?" asked the leader of the Reds. "The only thing made for you is the hospital bed you'll be sleeping on after Johnny Cage beats you to a pulp at Last Stand, champ!"

"For the record, SARGE, I heard what you said about me this week on Monday Night Flame. You called me a coward, I call myself an opportunist. And you better use this time right now to admit that you were wrong, and acknowledge me for my talents and all-around superiority to not only Johnny Cage, but to everyone on the UCA roster!"

"I'll do you one better, you dirty Blue!" Sarge responded. . .

. . .BEFORE SLUGGING COLT IN THE FACE WITH A RIGHT HAND!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Shake exclaimed as Sarge surprised Colt with two more right hands!

"And now Sarge is giving Colt Anderson a piece of his mind!" Early said, until Colt Anderson came right back with a kick to the midsection. Colt then grabbed Sarge and pulled him head-first toward the wall in front of him. . .

. . .but Sarge skidded to a stop and nailed Colt with an elbow! With Colt dazed, Sarge then picked up a tire iron. . .

. . .AND WHACKED COLT IN THE FACE WITH IT! Sarge then covered Colt for a cover! 1. . .

"Wait a minute!" Shake screamed!

2\. . .

"NO WAY!"

. . .3!

"I don't believe it!" Early exclaimed as Sarge stood up and raised his arms above his head triumphantly!

"Congratulations Sarge, you are the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion!"

The referee handed the XCW Hardcore title belt to Sarge, who draped it over his shoulder before looking down at Colt Anderson.

"Colt Anderson. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .YOU JUST GOT SARGE'D!"

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, the XCW Hardcore title is now on the shoulders of a commentator!" Early said.

Sarge stood back upright before stepping over Colt's body and walking down the hallway.

"If he can do it, I can do it! I want him one-on-one for the belt!" Shake demanded.

"YEAH! WOOOOO!" hollered Sarge, leaving Colt prone on the floor as the show went back to the ringside area, where Early and Shake sat at the commentator's table.

"Let's do it! Commentator-versus-commentator right here, RIGHT NOW! I'm gonna be the one to bring the belt back to XCW, just watch me!" Shake screamed angrily.

"Come on, Shake, you ornery ijit! The next match is about to start! Unless you can be in two places at once, you're staying here!" Early insisted. All Shake could do was grumble under his breath before the show cut back to the ring, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!"

"Light It Up" by Rev Theory played, to massive cheers from the crowd as Tom and Jerry stepped onto the entranceway, ran to opposite sides of the stage, each of them gazing at the crowd before running back to the center of the ring and high-fiving each other, immediately setting off pyro on the stage in front of them!

"Introducing first. . .representing UWE. . .from New York City, New York. . .they are the current UWE Duos Champions. . .TOM. . .AND JERRY. . .TEAM 2D!"

Tom and Jerry walked down the ramp with their title bets draped over their shoulders as the crowd began to yell "NON-STOP VIOLENCE! NON-STOP VIOLENCE!"

"The chants from the crowd say it all about these two men!" Early said. "As Team 2D, Tom and Jerry's careers in UWE and UCA have been storied. . .but violent, almost as violent as their past, if not more!"

Tom and Jerry entered the ring and climbed up opposing turnbuckles, both of them making a 'V' sign with their hands and raising it toward the fans, screaming "NON-STOP VIOLENCE!" at the top of their lungs!

"No kidding, Early!" Shake agreed. "When these two were at each other's throats, they came at each other with knives, fell down elevator shafts, and even resorted to electrocution! But their lust for violence would bring them together as a team, and from there, they went onto ECW, UWE and UCA, and became a record sixteen-time tag team champions, certainly unprecedented in tag team competition!"

Tom and Jerry stepped off their corners and met in the center of the ring, looking up the ramp, eagerly waiting for their opponents.

"And the current UWE Duos Champions have competed in almost every match type: from cage matches to ladder matches, even at Barely Legal, they're defending their Duos titles against Noob and Saibot, Team Korruption! But tonight, they're in a dream match against the current XCW Tag Team Champions, who for my money, can be just as destructive as Team 2D!"

Tom and Jerry's faces fell into scowls as. . .

. . ."What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played! Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman walked onto the stage to a chorus of boos from the crowd.

"And their opponents. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .they are the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .the team of THE ENFORCER, ERIC CARTMAN, AND THE LEADER, STAN MARSH!"

"This match came about earlier tonight when Tom and Jerry appeared as guests on The Ed Factor, hosted by the South Park Four's opponents at Heatwave; Ed, Edd and Eddy." Early informed. "D-Generation Ed issued Tom and Jerry a challenge to a match later on in the night, but the South Park Four interrupted, claiming they deserved to fight the Duos Champions on this historic night more than the Eds. Team 2D accepted South Park's challenge, and here we are now! The Bad Boys of Comedy Central are about to take on Team 2D!"

Stan and Cartman ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising the belts toward the fans, who only booed back at them.

"But how do you think D-Generation Ed feels right now?" Shake asked. "These two little assholes and long time rivals interrupted their show, and wiped their opportunity to face this legendary tag team out from under them! After the Ed Factor earlier tonight, I have a feeling the Eds don't want to wait until their Tables, Ladders and Chairs match at Heatwave to get a piece of these guys!"

"You're probably right about that, Shake. . .but whether they like it or not, this dream match between future UCA Hall of Famers is officially underway!" Early said, right before the bell rang and the match began with Tom facing off against Stan Marsh.

Tom and Stan immediately charged into the center of the ring, meeting in a tie-up, until Stan put Tom in a headlock. . .only for Tom to shove Stan up against the ropes to their left, then broke free of the headlock and Irish whipped Stan across the ring. After Stan bounced back, Tom bent down and sent Stan flying over him with a Back Body Drop. . .but Stan landed on his feet right behind him, then took him down with a neckbreaker before landing a series of angry stomps to Tom's chest. Stan then ran against the ropes behind him. . .and nailed Tom with a boot to the head! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tom kicked out!

Stan pulled Tom up to his feet only for Tom to shove Stan with authority against the ropes behind him. Stan bounced back toward the center of the ring. . .and right into a throat thrust from Tom! Tom then lifted the South Park Leader up for a gutwrench powerbomb. . .but Stan latched onto Tom's neck for a headlock, countering out of it! Stan went for a DDT. . .only for Tom to keep Stan off his feet and take him down with a Suplex! Tom then ran against the ropes to his left and landed a leg drop onto Stan's sternum! Tom went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!

"The powerhouse of Team 2D looking to gain the upper hand against the leader of the South Park Four!" Early said. "How will Tom follow up?"

Tom pulled Stan back up to his feet and Irish whipped him toward his corner. . .but Stan caught himself with the ropes before he could hit the corner. . .and slugged Jerry right off the ring apron with a right hand!

"Oh come on!" Early cried from ringside. "Was THAT really necessary?"

Stan then turned around. . .only for Tom to smother him with a corner splash! Tom then pulled Stan back up and shoved him back-first into the corner before ramming him in the chest with a series of thunderous shoulder thrusts that sent the South Park Leader sliding down to a seated position in the corner. Tom then pulled Stan up and tagged in Jerry, who had made his way back up to the ring apron with a scowl on his face directed at Stan. Tom and Jerry then pulled Stan out of the corner and took him down with a Double Hip Toss! Jerry quickly went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out! Jerry pulled Stan to a standing position before hammering away at his body with a punch combination, following that up with a judo kick. . .until Stan caught Jerry's leg right before impact and whipped it to the right, causing Jerry to spin around. . .

. . .and get taken down by a DDT from Stan! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Jerry kicked out! Stan pulled Jerry up to his feet and drug him toward his corner before tagging in Cartman, who entered the ring to boos from the crowd. Stan shoved Jerry into his corner before he and Cartman viciously stomped a mudhole into Jerry's body! Cartman then pulled Jerry back up to his feet as Stan stepped over the second rope and stood on the ring apron, watching Cartman send Jerry flying across the ring with a Belly-to-Belly suplex! Cartman then stomped over to Jerry and brought him back to a standing position, only to take him back down with a standing spinebuster! Cartman then pulled Jerry by the legs back into the center of the ring for a pin attempt! Cartman went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Jerry kicked out!

"The powerhouse of the South Park Four is just manhandling Jerry!" Early said. "With his strength and Stan's technical prowess, the XCW Tag Team Champions have gained the advantage!"

Cartman then grabbed Jerry by the arm and Irish whipped him hard across the ring. . .only for Jerry to leap off the ropes and take down Cartman with a springboard dropkick! Cartman rose up to his feet only for Jerry to take him back down with a hip toss, then hit him in the sternum with a falling elbow. Jerry quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Cartman powered out, sending Jerry to fly off the South Park Enforcer, and hit the mat face-first! Cartman rose up to a standing position and kicked Jerry out of the ring and under the bottom rope! Jerry hit the ringside floor, selling his abdomen on impact while Cartman stepped off the ring apron with a sly smirk forming on his face as the referee began the ten count!

Cartman grabbed Jerry's arm and pulled him up to his feet before Irish whipping him hard into the steel steps, with Jerry colliding into them with a sickening thud! Cartman then pulled Jerry back up and rammed his face right into the ring apron, then into the steel post!

"Good God Almighty!" Early cringed. "The South Park Enforcer is having his way with poor Jerry!"

Cartman then shoved Jerry back into the ring under the second rope as the referee's count reached four. Cartman went to follow Jerry back into the ring. . .

. . .without seeing Tom step off the ring apron and stomp toward him! Tom grabbed Cartman by the leg and pulled him back out to the ringside floor, starting another ten count from the referee! Tom turned Cartman to face him and slugged him in the face with a right hand! Cartman fired back with another right hand, and he and Tom began to brawl outside of the ring! Cartman and Tom continued punching each other. . .while Jerry had regained his bearings inside the ring!

"The two powerhouses of these iconic tag teams are going at it outside the ring!" Shake observed, as Tom and Cartman nailed each other with powerful right hands. . .

. . .UNTIL JERRY LEAPT OVER THE ROPES AND TOOK DOWN CARTMAN WITH AN ELBOW SUICIDA! Jerry and Cartman both lay in a crumbled heap against the barricade as the referee restarted the ten count!

"And the high-flyer Jerry just gave the Enforcer Eric Cartman a little payback!" Early said, as Tom helped Jerry back up to his feet and into the ring, then slid a prone Cartman back into the ring under the bottom rope, just as Stan Marsh ran around the ring and took Tom down with a Lou Thesz Press! Back in the ring, Jerry covered Cartman, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Cartman powered out! Meanwhile, Stan Irish whipped Tom against another set of steel steps, catching the attention of the referee, who looked down at Tom and Stan from the ring and ordered back to their corners. With the referee's back turned, Cartman Irish whipped Jerry into his corner, then smothered him with a Corner Splash that sent him reeling to a seated position in the corner. . .then Cartman pressed Jerry's head against the corner turnbuckle with his foot, choking him!

"Since their XCW debut, the South Park Four have won their matches thanks to underhanded tactics like this!" Early said.

"And the referee's too busy to do anything about it!" added Shake, until the referee finally turned back around, upon which, Cartman pulled Jerry back into the center of the ring and went for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Jerry kicked out! Cartman couldn't believe it! Cartman then pulled Jerry up to his feet and Irish whipped him back into his corner before tagging Stan back in, who helped Cartman lift Jerry up. . .and plant him down to the mat with a double spinebuster! Stan then pulled Jerry back up. . .only to take him down with a Scoop Slam! Stan ran against the ropes and went for a falling knee to the face on the bounceback. . .but Jerry managed to roll out of the way! Jerry pushed himself up to his knees as Stan charged toward him. . .

. . .and took Stan down with a drop toe hold! Jerry then pulled Stan's leg up off the mat. . .and slammed it back down to the mat with a Knee Smash! Jerry then grabbed Stan's legs and pulled them up. . .before slingshotting Stan right into the corner behind him! Stan stumbled around the ring in a daze. . .and right into a Fireman's Carry Backbreaker by Jerry! Jerry went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!

"BAH GAWD Shake, somehow, in some way, Jerry's found his way back into this thing for him and Tom!" Early called as Jerry Irish whipped Stan face-first into his corner, then tagged in Tom, who put Stan in a waist-lock and lifted him up, with Jerry latching onto the South Park Leader's neck. . .

. . .and planted him down with a Back Suplex/Neckbreaker Combo! Tom went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out! Tom grabbed Stan by the shirt and lifted him up, hitting him in the face with a punch combination before knocking him down with a Lariat! Tom then pulled Stan back up to his feet and Irish whipped him across the ring, then went for a Big Boot as he bounced back. . .but Stan caught Tom's foot in time! Stan then threw his foot down to the mat then took him down with a Clothesline! Stan then grabbed Tom's legs and pulled them up to go for the Sharpshooter. . .

. . .but Tom kicked Stan back toward the ropes! Stan bounced back. . .and right into a Flapjack from Tom! Tom went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out! Tom then pulled Stan up by the collar and threw him into his corner before tagging Jerry back in! Tom and Jerry stomped a mudhole into the South Park Leader before pulling him into the center of the ring and then landing a Rolling Leg Drop/Rolling Senton combo! Jerry pulled Stan up to his knees and hit him with a flurry of punches before hitting him with a jumping knee to the face! Jerry quickly went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!

Jerry then pulled Stan up and Irish whipped him across the ring, then leapt onto his back for the Mouse Trap. . .

. . .but Stan slid onto his chest, sending Jerry to sail way over him, and land right in front of him on his shoulders!

"OOOOH!" cringed Early. Jerry went for the Mouse Trap, but now he's folded like an accordion right in front of the South Park Leader!"

Stan smirked at his opportunity to strike, and sure enough, landed a swift kick to Jerry's ribs, then pulled him up only to take him back down with a backbreaker! Stan went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Jerry kicked out! Stan, visibly irritated, pulled Jerry back up to his feet only to take him down with a Gutbuster! Stan then ran against the ropes behind him and this time successfully landed a knee to Jerry's face! Stan went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Jerry kicked out! Stan pulled Jerry to a standing position and slapped him in the chest with a swift chop! Stan continued hitting Jerry with chop after chop until Jerry managed to block one, then slug Stan in the face with a right hand of his own! Jerry then surprised Stan with a kick to the midsection then took him down with a Jawbreaker! Jerry went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!

Jerry pulled Stan back up and set the South Park Leader on his shoulders in a fireman's carry position. Jerry ran forward to take Stan down with a fireman's carry backbreaker. . .but Stan dropped out of it behind him, then latched onto his waist before lifting him up and taking him down with a single German suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Jerry kicked out!

"Jerry showing nothing but absolute resilency going against the leader and one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions, Stan Marsh!" Early said, as Stan looked down at Jerry with a smug look.

"But from the look on his face, Early, I got a feeling that he's got something dangerous up his sleeve!" Shake foreboded, as Stan turned Jerry onto his chest. . .

. . .grabbed his legs. . .

. . .AND LOCKED IN THE SHARPSHOOTER!

"You guessed correctly Shake!" Early called. "Because now Stan Marsh has got the Sharpshooter locked in on the high-flyer Jerry!"

Jerry screamed in agonizing pain as Stan intensified the hold! The referee knelt down and asked Jerry if he wanted to quit. Jerry shook his head no as he inched toward the bottom rope! Jerry wormed closer and closer to the bottom rope. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .reached closer and closer for the bottom rope. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT STAN WALKED INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING, TAKING JERRY WITH HIM, AND KEEPING THE HOLD LOCKED IN!

"But Stan Marsh, the veteran, with great ring presence, has Jerry dead to rights in the center of the ring with that Sharpshooter!" Early called, as Jerry continued wailing in agony!

"The pain must be excruciating!" Shake exclaimed, as Stan kept the hold locked in. . .

. . .and saw Edd walk onto the stage?

"Wait a minute!" Early called, as Edd stepped onto the stage to cheers from the crowd before setting up a steel chair and sat on them, watching the match intently!

"It seems that the brains of D-Generation Ed wants to get a close look not only at his stable's inter-promotional competition, but also its opponents at Heatwave!" Shake said, as Stan looked up the ramp at the Edd with a look of anger, while Edd glared back at him with the same feeling. Loosening the hold from the distraction, Stan's eyes narrowed at Edd. . .

. . .UNTIL JERRY TOOK DOWN STAN WITH AN INVERTED DDT! Jerry draped his arm over Stan's body for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 STAN KICKED OUT!

"Jerry took advantage of the distraction and now he's desperately looking to make a tag here!" Shake said, as both Stan and Jerry were down in the center of the ring, crawling to their respective corners!

"Both men have fought each other to the point of exhaustion, and now we're about to see the two powerhouses of Team 2D and the South Park Four come back into the match!" Early called with excitement, as Tom slapped the turnbuckle in front of him in anticipation for a tag, while Cartman stood in his corner with his arm extended out toward Stan!

"They fought each other at ringside and tried to beat each other senseless, I have no idea what Tom and Cartman will do to each other when they finally get their hands on each other in that very ring!" Shake said with fear as Jerry and Stan crawled closer to their corners. . .

. . .extended their arms out. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY TAGGED IN TOM AND CARTMAN! Tom and Cartman charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring, with Tom taking down Cartman with a Clothesline! Cartman strafed up to his feet and ran toward Tom. . .only to be met with ANOTHER clothesline! Cartman rose up to his feet again. . .only for Tom to take him down with a Samoan Drop! Tom went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CARTMAN KICKED OUT! Tom quickly pulled Cartman up to his feet and hit him with one more right hand before taking him down with a neckbreaker slam! Instead of going for the cover, though, Tom pulled up Cartman. . .only for Cartman to rake Tom's eyes and bring him down with a clothesline of his own! Cartman then ran against the ropes while Tom strafed back up to his feet. . .only for Cartman to take Tom back down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away at his face with swift right and left hands! Cartman stood up and strode toward the ropes, yelling obscenities at the crowd, who booed back at them. Cartman ran against the ropes. . .and landed the Big Boy Splash onto Tom on the bounceback!

"OH GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!" Early cried. "The weight and mass of the Enforcer, Eric Cartman, may have flattened and suffocated Tom!"

Cartman stayed on top of Tom for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TOM KICKED OUT! Cartman couldn't believe it! Cartman went for a stomp to Tom's head. . .but Tom caught it in time and rose up to his feet before slapping Cartman with a few chops, then lifting him up for the Argentine Rack! Cartman screamed in agonizing pain as Tom kept the torture rack locked in. . .until Tom dropped Cartman with a falling powerbomb! Tom went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 STAN BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT! Tom looked up at Stan with a fierce glare as he stepped back to his corner. Tom looked back down at Cartman and pulled him up to his feet, Irish whipping him into his corner. . .only for Cartman to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! Tom hit the corner before Cartman rammed into Tom with a Shoulder Thrust, then pulled him out of the corner to take him down with a swinging neckbreaker in the center of the ring! Cartman went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 JERRY BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT! Cartman clenched his teeth in anger as the wily mouse stepped back to his corner.

"Tensions are boiling over between these two legendary tag teams once again!" Early observed. "What's gonna happen if or when they finally explode?"

Cartman looked back down at Tom and pulled him up to his feet before kicking him in the midsection. . .

. . .turning around for the South Park Stunner. . .

. . .but Tom shoved Cartman toward the ropes! Tom kicked Cartman in the midsection after he bounced back. . .hooked his arms. . .

. . .and took him down with a huge Double Arm DDT! But Tom wasn't finished. . .he pulled Cartman up to his feet, hooked both his arms as he stood behind him. . .and planted him with a Full Nelson Slam! Tom finally went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 STAN BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT WITH A FALLING ELBOW! Tom stood up and strode toward the South Park Leader. . .

. . .UNTIL CARTMAN CAUGHT TOM IN A SLEEPER HOLD!

"THE ENFORCER WITH A SLEEPER HOLD!" Early yelled. "HE MAY HAVE TEAM 2D BEATEN HERE!"

Cartman brought Tom to the center of the ring and applied more pressure to his head and neck! Tom waved his arms around and tried to elbow Cartman, attempting to fight out of the hold but to no avail. The referee asked Tom if he wanted to quit but he shook his head no. Tom's body started to go limp, as Cartman brought Tom closer to the mat, still keeping his grip on the hold. . .

. . .ONLY FOR JERRY TO LEAP OFF THE TOP ROPE AND HIT CARTMAN WITH A FLYING CLOTHESLINE, BREAKING THE HOLD!

"But the Wily Mouse Jerry went high-risk to save the match for himself and his tag team partner!" Early called, as Stan suddenly entered the ring and tackled Jerry to the mat, until the referee pulled the South Park Leader off of Jerry, and ordered him back to his corner.

"The referee's trying to restore order in this matchup. . ." Early said, before Jerry leapt up to his feet and lunged toward Stan for a clothesline. . .

. . .BUT STAN PULLED THE REFEREE INTO THE LINE OF FIRE, CAUSING JERRY TO KNOCK HIM DOWN!

"BUT THE REFEREE'S PAYING THE PRICE FOR DOING HIS JOB!" Early cried. "And now there's no order in this matchup of iconic tag teams!"

"And that's just how Tom and Jerry like it!" Shake declared, as Jerry stood up. . .

. . .and was taken down by an Atomic Drop from Stan! Jerry crumbled down to the mat while Cartman and Tom brawled on another side of the ring, trading right hands until Cartman went for a lariat but missed. Tom then hooked Cartman's arms behind him. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM DOWN WITH A FULL NELSON BOMB! Tom stood up and strode over to help Jerry up. . .but received a kick to the midsection. . .

. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY STAN WITH A SOUTH PARK STUNNER! Stan grinned down at Tom and Jerry as he left the ring, while Cartman rolled out of the ring, following him to the ringside area. . .

. . .AND EACH OF THEM GRABBED A STEEL CHAIR!

"With the referee incapacitated, and the UWE Duos Champions down, the South Park Four look to do to Tom and Jerry exactly what they've done to D-Generation Ed!" Early said, as Stan and Cartman slid into the ring.

"And what they PLAN to do to D-Ed and the Mario Brothers at Heatwave!" added Shake as Cartman, with his chair in hand, taunted for Tom to stand up, while Stan did the same next to Jerry. The XCW Tag Team Champions raised their chairs high above their heads, glaring directly at Edd, who still sat on the stage. . .

. . .UNTIL ED AND EDDY RAN THROUGH THE CROWD WITH STEEL CHAIRS OF THEIR OWN, AND LEAPT OVER THE BARRICADE TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Shake screamed, as Ed and Eddy slid into the ring and nailed Stan and Cartman in the back with their chairs to thunderous cheers from the crowd. . .while Double D set up a ladder outside the ring!

"And D-Generation Ed has made the save for Team 2D!" Early called, as Edd ran down the ramp now and looked under the ring apron for a weapon!

"The Eds got involved in the match after all?" asked Shake. "They really couldn't deal with sitting in the back!"

"They're getting payback for South Park interrupting the Ed Factor, and stealing their opportunity for this dream match, Shake!" Early answered. "And they're getting it in the form of steel chairs. . .BUT WAIT A MINUTE!"

Ed continued hammering away on Stan's body with the chair, while Eddy pulled Cartman up and shoved him toward the other side of the ring. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO DOUBLE D, WHO DOVE OFF THE LADDER AND TOOK CARTMAN DOWN WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY BLOCK!

"THE SOCKHEAD DOUBLE D JUST FLEW INTO THE RING FROM THE TOP OF THAT LADDER JUST TO BLINDSIDE ERIC CARTMAN!" Early yelled as the crowd chanted "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" Meanwhile, Double D rolled out of the ring, trying to collect his bearings, but back in the ring, Ed threw Stan over the ropes and down to the ringside floor, and Eddy brought Cartman down with an Edigree on the steel chair! Eddy stood up while Ed turned around. . .

. . .AND SAW TOM AND JERRY STAND BACK UP! Ed and Eddy stepped toward the legendary tag team, as did Team 2D. . .and they met in a staredown right in the center of the ring as the crowd began to cheer!

"The crowd knows what's coming, Shake!" foreboded Early. "And after what transpired during the Ed Factor tonight, I'm glad they get to see it with us!"

"The Eds had to resort to fighting to come face-to-face with Team 2D, but now I'm glad they did!" Shake said. "So many championships. . .so many awards. . ."

Tom and Jerry stared Ed and Eddy down, the two teams exchanging a few words. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE TOM AND JERRY STRUCK FIRST WITH RIGHT HANDS TO THE FACE! Ed and Eddy fired back with more right hands as a brawl broke out between the two tag teams!

"AND ONE BIG RIVALRY!" Shake added, as the crowd's cheers reached deafening levels! Ed and Tom continued trading punches while Eddy and Jerry brawled next to them, until Jerry surprised Eddy with a left hand that sent him reeling. Jerry then Irish whipped Eddy across the ring, then sent him over the top rope with a dropkick! Meanwhile, Ed and Tom continued brawling until Ed caught one of Tom's punches, then lifted the powerhouse cat onto his shoulders!

"ED'S ABOUT TO GIVE TOM THE ELEDRIFIER!" Early screamed. . .but Tom dropped out of it in front of him, then slammed Ed down with a Cutter! Ed sold his head as he rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope, while Tom and Jerry high-fived in the center of the ring. . .

. . .WHILE CARTMAN ROSE UP TO HIS FEET BEHIND THEM!

"BUT THEY'RE STILL IN A MATCH WITH THE SOUTH PARK FOUR!" Early yelled, while the referee woke back up to consciousness! Tom turned around. . .

. . .TO A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION FROM CARTMAN. . .

. . .

. . .NO! TOM CAUGHT THE LEG IN TIME! Tom then spun Cartman around to face his back, then shoved him against the ropes. . .

. . .while Jerry maneuvered behind his tag team partner. . .

. . .AND TOOK DOWN CARTMAN WITH THE NON-STOP VIOLENCE, TO CHEERS FROM THE CROWD! Jerry slid out of the ring while Tom went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"And Team 2D has taken down the XCW Tag Team Champions!" Early called after the bell rang!

"The winners of this match. . .TOM. . .AND JERRY. . .TEAM 2D!"

Tom rolled off Cartman before Jerry pulled him up by the arm, bringing his ally up to his feet. The referee handed them their UWE Duos title belts before raising their arms in victory while Cartman rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope, out like a light!

"No matter how you spin it, Shake, whether they faced D-Generation Ed or the South Park Four, Team 2D was going into a match against an iconic tag team tonight. And what we saw just now was a great dream match come to life!" Early said, as Stan and Cartman laid on opposite sides of the ringside floor, while Eddy helped Ed up to his feet at the foot of the ramp.

"You got that right, Early!" agreed Shake. "We saw a great match between two of the greatest tag teams in history of this business! With this victory, Tom and Jerry are going into Barely Legal and Last Stand with a big load of momentum and confidence on their side!"

Tom and Jerry looked to the foot of the ramp, where Eddy and Ed stood, staring down the UWE Duos Champions, who stared back at them until Jerry gave Tom another high-five!

"They certainly do, Shake. . ." Early said. "But from the looks on the faces of D-Generation Ed, I have a feeling that a match against this sixteen-time tag team champion, Team 2D, will come their way sooner than later! But for now, you've got to bet that Stan and Cartman will have something iconic planned for revenge against D-Ed when they square off at Heatwave in their Tables, Ladders and Chairs match!"

The Eds continued glaring at Tom and Jerry, who climbed onto opposing turnbuckles in the ring, raising their Duos title belts high above their heads until the show went to a parking garage in the backstage area, where Sarge stood next to his referee in a circle around Jeremy from CCW, Vegeta from WWE: Animated, Demetri from PCUW, and Drake Parker from UWE.

"Hey guys! Check THIS out. . .I have something you don't have!" bragged Sarge as he raised the XCW Hardcore Championship above his head. "I'm a champion in wrestling, BROS!"

"Woah. . ." Demetri said in awe. "I wish our company's Hardcore title had a 24/7 rule!"

"Give me a break, Lancer!" Vegeta bellowed. "Your company doesn't have the money to pay for the chaos that comes with it!"

"Psh, that's nothing, Sarge." Drake answered. "Wake me up when you've won an FWA for Best Commentary Team!"

"Or when you actually have a contract with a wrestling promotion!" Jeremy added, coming face-to-face with Sarge. "I can win that title faster than you ever did!"

"In your dreams, Ellis!" Sarge snapped. "By the time you debut as a wrestler in this business, I'll STILL be XCW Hardcore Champion!"

Jeremy came face-to-face with the Red Leader. . . "No, you won't. . .hey. . .is that a Red over there?"

Jeremy pointed behind Sarge, who turned around for a brief second, before turning back to face Jeremy.

"There's nobody—" Sarge said. . .

. . .UNTIL JEREMY SURPRISED HIM WITH THE NECROTIZER!

"OH MY GOD!" Shake exclaimed as the rest of the commentators in the room backed away while Jeremy went for a cover!

"Make the count, man!" Jeremy said to the referee, who did just that! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And just like that, the XCW Hardcore title has found its way into the arms of the Black Mamba, Jeremy Ellis!" Early said.

"Oh come on!" expressed Shake. "He has a contract with UWE, and he works for CCW! He doesn't need our belt!"

The referee came to Jeremy's side and handed him the Hardcore title belt!

"Congratulations, Jeremy Ellis! You are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"YEAH!" Jeremy screamed before looking down at Sarge and shouting, "YOU JUST GOT JEREMY'D!"

"AW, FORGET THIS!" Vegeta yelled as he charged toward Jeremy! "Animated's going back with TWO Hardcore title belts!"

"No way, man!" Demetri interrupted! "TCW's gonna be jealous when they see US with it!"

"With its rules, that belt BELONGS in UWE!" Drake said before charging into the crowd of commentators, right as multiple fist-fights broke out between all five of them!

"Good grief!" Early cried. "A massive brawl has broken out between all the play-by-play men in the back!"

"They're all fighting for superiority between their brands. . ." Shake said. "Little do they know that the best commentators aren't even in the fight!"

All the commentators continued brawling against each other. . .

. . .until from high above them on a rafter. . .

. . .LEAPT SLADE FOR A SUICIDE DIVE ONTO THE COMMENTATORS! All six men were down on the concrete floor in a crumbled heap!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Early screamed. "BAH GAWD IT'S SLADE FROM PCUW!"

"He looks like he's fed up with all the carnage!" Shake observed, as Slade stood up and observed the destruction.

"Hrm. . ." Slade muttered under his mask. "The title will be safe from you all. Kept in good hands." Slade then went for the cover, gesturing the referee to make the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And just like that, Slade has won the Hardcore Championship!" Early declared, as Slade stood up, picking up the Hardcore title belt from the floor with him.

"Congratulations, Slade! You are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!" said the referee, right before. . .

"OH NO, HE AIN'T!"

. . .RILEY AND HUEY FREEMAN CHARGED TOWARD HIM AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A LADDER!

"MY GOD!" Shake screamed. "They used that ladder like a battering ram!"

"And now the Freeman brothers are involved!" Early said. "The numbers game is too much for Slade!" The Freeman Boiz then dropped the ladder and hammered away on Slade with swift right and left hands, overwhelming The Dark Guardian. With Slade now dazed, Huey pulled The Dark Guardian back up. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE BLACK-BREAKER! As Huey turned Slade to lay on his chest, Riley backed up before running forward. . .

. . .AND CRUSHING SLADE'S FACE INTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR WITH THE CURB STOMP! Huey turned Slade onto his back before going for the cover!

"COUNT IT, MAN!" Huey snapped at the referee, before he made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

Huey Freeman jumped up for joy as the referee handed him the XCW Hardcore title belt!

"Congratulations, Huey Freeman! You are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"YEEEEAAAHHH! I'm the best, BITCH!" Huey shouted, while Riley glared at his brother with a look of annoyance.

"You know man, I finished him off. I should be the Hardcore Champion!" Riley insisted.

"Like that even matters now, Riley!" Huey snapped back. "We've got a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match at 'Mania. With this, we gon' prove that we ARE hardcore!"

"You know somethin' Huey. . .you're right!" Riley agreed. "Come on, let's get outta here!"

Huey and Riley Freeman then ran out of the room at breakneck speed!

"And now the XCW Hardcore Championship is indeed on its way back to WWE: Animated!" Early said.

"I can't believe this!" Shake exclaimed. "There's got to be somebody to stop them from taking our title! The show's almost over!"

Slade and all the commentators were left down and out on the floor until the show cut to a different part of the backstage area, where Claude Speed walked down a hallway with a stoic look on his face.

"Oh boy. . ." Shake said.

"Yep, Shake, if I were Claude, I would want to make this an early night." Early said, as Claude strode toward the front door of the arena. . .until he came across Gordon Freeman and Chell! Claude stopped in his tracks and walked up to Gordon and Chell, who looked back at him with the same silent stare. Claude glared back at Gordon with an equally menacing glare. . .

. . .until Wheatley, in Chell's arms, began to speak. "Oh! Staring contests are a very fun way to pass the time, but they're not a good method of meeting people. Claude, do you already know Gordon and Chell?"

Claude ignored Wheatley, his gaze still focused on Gordon and Chell, who let go of her manager and stepped away from the pair to shoot a blue portal on the floor with her Portal gun.

"Well, allow me to inform you that Chell is one of the premiere female talents in CCW, not Cartoon Championship Wrestling, that is now defunct, but Character Championship Wrestling, the company ranked first in this business's ratings! Now, granted, the audience for each company is different, so I won't be one to brag about being a member of the CCW roster, but. . ."

While Chell shot an orange portal on the ceiling, directly above the blue portal, Claude grabbed Wheatley!

"Hey, now! Take it easy, Claude! I meant no offense with those remarks! XCW is an exquisite company, and has hosted quite the supershow so far! Space Ghost is a wonderful host, and your roster is unique from the rest of our competition-"

Claude then stepped above the blue portal. . .

. . .AND THREW WHEATLEY DOWN IT, SENDING HIM THROUGH AN INFINITE LOOP OF PORTALS! Wheatley screamed as he passed through each portal, while Claude turned to Gordon and Chell, nodding at them before walking toward the front door. . .

"CLAUDE! WAIT!"

. . .until Jessica came to his side behind him!

"Claude! Don't leave! Please! I have something to tell you!" Jessica pleaded. Claude stopped in his tracks, not turning around to face his sort-of girlfriend.

"Listen, what happened in your dressing room just now. . .happened. I don't know how it did, and I can't believe it did either, but it happened. But please. . .don't walk out on me. I swear it was an accident, and nothing more. I care too much about you to want to take anything from you. To me, you're what makes a man. . .a man. You're tough, you're smart, you're fantastic in bed, but above all, I feel protected when I'm around you."

Claude finally turned around to face Jessica, while Chell shot a blue portal at the wall in front of her, sending Wheatley through it, and crashing into the wall in front of him! Jessica looked up at Liberty City's Lucifer with fearful eyes.

"Like everything's going to be okay, no matter what happens, and I think there's more to you than meets the eye. If you leave me, what else do you have? Your guns? Beer? Tommy? If you leave me, you're right back where you started! A bitter, psychotic two-bit thug. I make you more than just that, Claude. I make you look good. I make you look like somebody worth a damn. Because that's what you are, someone worth-

Claude suddenly moved forward. . .

. . .and crashed his lips against Jessica's, kissing her passionately, with the crowd cheering in surprise! Claude broke the kiss, gazing into Jessica's eyes and saying,

"You're too hot to be single."

Jessica blushed as she smiled back at Claude, who took her hand and walked her to the front door. . .

. . .

. . .until the hallway lights began to flicker?

"Wait a minute. . ." foreboded Early, "What the hell's going on here?"

"It's gotta be the faulty wiring in this arena!" Shake said. "Claude and Charlie almost destroyed the place earlier tonight!"

The lights shut completely off in the hallway before coming back on. . .

. . .revealing a spray-painted message on the front door, right in front of Claude and Jessica! Jessica let out a shriek while Claude reached for the Uzi in his pants pocket upon seeing the message, which read. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .WHY SO SERIOUS?

"Oh my God. . ." Early said with fear in his voice!

The camera lingered on the sign on the door until the show went to a commercial break.

As the Supershow returned from break, Space Ghost, Rugal, Force The Fox, GB, Commissioner Gordon and Zack Watkins stood in Space Ghost's office, visibly intoxicated. Space Ghost held a half-full margarita glass and handed it to Rugal, who accidentally dropped it, leading the carpet to be stained with margarita mix.

"NOOOO! DAMN IT, RUGAL!" Space Ghost shouted. "That was the last of my mix!"

"Oh, can it, you has-been talk show host!" Rugal bellowed. "My company's won more matches than yours tonight! I think you can deal with your margarita mix being dry!"

"Not only that, but I believe Huey Freeman is the current XCW Hardcore Champion." GB added. "So you know what that means. . .PAY UP, GUYS!"

"I don't think so, GB!" Zack protested. "The night is still young!"

"He's right!" agreed Commissioner Gordon. "The main event is up next! And who knows, we may go out to the Drunken Clam afterwards! Just saying, anything can happen!"

"And anything WILL happen, Gordon!" Space Ghost assured. "Because the Supershow's not over until the fireworks go off."

"Fireworks?" asked Force. "Let me guess, Gwen and Korra are arguing again?"

"No, my friend." answered Space Ghost. "You see, you can't have a Summer Supershow without a fireworks show, so at the conclusion of the main event, the retractable roof of this arena will open, and 400 pounds of fireworks will be shot off into the sky for the XCW superstars and fans alike to see! The Supershow may be coming to an end, but rest assured, we're going out with a bang!"

Space Ghost looked confident at his fellow general managers until the show cut back to the arena.

"A fireworks ceremony?" Early asked aloud.

"This Supershow has everything!" Shake declared.

"You've got that right, Shake. . ." Early said until. . .

. . ."Hero" by Skillet played!

"But right now it is time. . .for the main event!"

The crowd erupted into a chorus of boos as Ben and Gwen Tennyson stepped onto the stage with their respective title belts around their waists. Ben struck a Legend Killer pose while Gwen looked right into the camera and said "The Crest Couple ain't got shit on US!"

"Ever since it was announced that Tai and Sora would face these two cousins from Bellwood, both teams have been involved in a war of words with each other. As unheard of as it is for the Crest Couple to trash talk, it's not surprising that these two are the ones to start it!" Early said, as Ben and Gwen walked down the ramp, with green pyro raining onto the stage behind them!

"You're absolutely right, Early!" Shake agreed. "These two have a lot in common as cousins; their name, their accolades, they're the current CCW Magnus and Females Champions, respectively. . .and their egos are the same massive size! They've done some despicable things to cover up every loss since CCW's inception, and declare themselves the "Best In The Universe" despite them!"

Ben and Gwen slid into the ring under the bottom rope, and Ben climbed onto a top rope, raising the CCW Magnus title belt above his head while Gwen stood in the center of the ring and raised the CCW Females title belt above his head, mouthing the words "Alpha Bitch" to the fans!

"Ben's ran over Autolycus just to get the title vacated, Gwen's wiped a Females title reign from existence to preserve her legacy as the "First and Only" Females Champion, not to mention Ben's recent legal troubles. . .but tonight, the most publicized relatives in fictional wrestling go head-to-head against this business's most publicized couple!"

Ben and Gwen met in their corner, staring down the ramp as. . .

. . ."This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played! The crowd erupted into deafening cheers as Tai and Sora ran onto the stage and down the ramp!

"Earlier tonight, Ben and Gwen said that Tai and Sora have been defined by their marriage and only their marriage ever since Tai and Sora got married before getting signed to XCW!" informed Early. "If you ask me, Shake, that couldn't be further from the truth!"

Tai and Sora slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles toward the fans, both of them raising their title belts high above their heads.

"They have been inseparable since the birth of XCW, I'll give you that!" Shake agreed. "But ever since they've came to this company, they've proven that they can fight in their own matches, without each other in their corner, and fight valiantly, they have! These are two of the best technical wrestlers in their respective divisions today, and they look to not only teach Ben and Gwen a thing or two about humility, but they also look to become the Best Couple in the Universe!"

Tai and Sora stepped over to their corner and shared a brief kiss on the lips while Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen. . .the following contest. . .is an intergender tag team match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling main event of the evening!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as Ben and Gwen Tennyson stared Tai and Sora down from their corner.

"Introducing first. . .representing Character Championship Wrestling. . .from Bellwood, Illinois. . .they are the current Character Championship Wrestling Females and Magnus Champions. . ."The Alpha Bitch" and "The Best In The Universe". . .GWEN AND BEN TENNYSON!

The crowd erupted into boos as Ben and Gwen turned around and shouted various obscenities and insults toward the fans.

Tai and Sora looked on at Ben and Gwen in disgust from their corner.

"And their opponents. . .representing Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .the team of the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI AND TAI KAMIYA!"

The crowd exploded into more cheers for the Crest Couple as Sora and Gwen stepped behind the ropes and onto the ring apron while Tai and Ben stepped toward the center of the ring!

"It looks like we're going to start this star-studded main event off with the bearer of the Crest of Courage and the Best in the Universe!" Early declared, as the bell rang and the match began!

Tai and Ben were engaged in a stare down, the two of the them pacing around the ring facing each other. . .until they charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Tai fought out of it by putting Ben in a wrist-lock, wrenching onto his right arm until Ben spun to face Tai and lift him into a fireman's carry position. . .only for the XCW World Champion to drop out of it behind him and shove Ben toward the ropes before leaping up for a dropkick. .but Ben held onto the ropes before bouncing back, causing Tai to whiff on the kick! Ben charged toward Tai only for Tai to Irish whip him across the ring and toward the ropes, with Tai bouncing off the ropes on the opposite side! Ben slid onto his chest, forcing Tai to leap over him and bounce off the ropes in front of him! After he bounced back, Tai took down Ben with a quick arm drag, only for Ben to get right back up and take him down with an arm drag of his own! Tai and Ben dove toward each other for dropkicks, each of them missing their targets. . .leaving Tai and Ben to rise up to their knees and freeze in their actions!

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are at a standoff!" Early declared, as the crowd began to cheer.

"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "These two men are very evenly matched!"

Tai and Ben stepped toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring and getting into another tie-up. Tai put Ben into a waist-lock only for Ben to counter into a waist-lock of his own and punch Tai right in the back of the head! Tai stepped forward, clenching the back of his head in pain until Ben turned Tai around to face him and knocked him back with a right hand. Ben continued to hit the Crest Bearer of Courage with punch after punch until Tai was backed up against the ropes. Ben then Irish whipped Tai across the ring and took him down with a dropkick on the bounceback! Ben quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!

Ben grabbed a fistful of Tai's hair and pulled him up to his feet, only for Tai to nail the Best in the Universe with an uppercut that broke his grip. As Ben stepped back a bit, Tai nailed him in the chest with a chop, the crowd "WOOO"ing in unison with the slap against Ben's body. Tai continued to hit Ben with chop after chop until he was backed up against the ropes on a different side of the ring. Tai then Irish whipped Ben across the ring and took him down with a drop toe hold, then went to apply an STF, but Ben put Tai into a side headlock and took down the XCW Champion with a hip toss! Ben stood back up only to fall back down for an elbow to the sternum, but Tai rolled out of the way, causing Ben to hit the canvas! Tai then bounced off the ropes behind him and landed a Leg Drop onto Ben! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ben kicked out! Tai pulled Ben up to a standing position. . .only for Ben to rake his eyes! Tai covered his face in pain until Ben ran toward him. . .and took him down with a chop block right in front of Sora!

"We've seen very few offensive moves so far in this main event matchup, but Ben Tennyson looks to have gained the upper hand in the fashion that is to be expected from him!" Early said, as Ben pulled Tai up by the hair, looking right at Sora with a devilish grin. . .until Tai elbowed him in the face and took him down with a Side Headlock Takedown, then wrenched on his neck before standing up and kicking him three times in the ribs! Tai then rolled Ben back into the center of the ring and went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ben kicked out! Once Tai pulled Ben up to his feet, Ben surprised him with a punch to the kidney, then put him in a waist-lock and brought him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Ben went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!

Ben pulled Tai up to a standing position and drug him by the hair to his corner. . .and tagged in Gwen Tennyson, who entered the ring to massive boos from the crowd!

"And for the first time in this match, we're going to see the female halves of each team fight each other, starting with the "Alpha Bitch" Gwen Tennyson!" Early said, as Gwen looked at the fans and yelled "FIRST AND ONLY!" before joining Ben in mudhole stomping Tai in the corner!

"Gwen may be the legal woman, but Tai has to leave the ring!" Shake said, as the referee ordered Gwen to back off of Tai, but Gwen ignored it, and continued mudhole stomping Tai with her cousin!

"The Alpha Bitch and the Best in the Universe want to savor this beatdown!" Early said. "And by God, they're more than just kicking the snot out of the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, they're humiliating him!"

Gwen and Ben continued mudhole stomping into Tai's body in the corner. . .

. . .UNTIL SORA GRABBED GWEN FROM BEHIND AND TOOK HER DOWN WITH AN INVERTED DDT! Sora went for the quick cover 1. . .2. . .Gwen kicked out!

"But Sora Takenouchi, Tai Kamiya's better half, has seen enough of it! And now we're about to see the second and first-ranked females in fictional wrestling square off in that very ring!" Shake said, as Sora pulled Gwen up to her feet and put her in a collar-and-elbow tie up. . . only for Gwen to shove Sora against the ropes behind her, and on the bounceback, go for a bulldog. . .only for Sora to shove her off of her grip, and send her toward the ropes in front of her! Gwen bounced back and right into a clothesline from Sora! Sora then ran against the ropes and went for a jumping moonsault. . .but Gwen rolled out of the way, causing Sora to hit the mat! Gwen then bounced off the ropes next to her and nailed her with a sliding dropkick! Gwen went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

Gwen pulled Sora up to her feet and whacked her across the face with a vicious slap! Sora snapped her head back to face Gwen and furiously locked her in a tie-up, then put her in a front face lock and nailed her in the back of the head with an elbow before spinning around to face her back and go for a neckbreaker. . .

. . .but Gwen countered out of it, spinning around to face Sora's back, and then gave her a back rake! Sora winced in pain until Gwen put Sora in a front face lock. . ..raised her up, and took her down with a Northern Lights suplex pin attempt! Gwen went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! Gwen slapped the mat in frustration before pulling Sora up by the hair and throwing her into the corner. Gwen thrust her shoulder into Sora's torso, then stepped back and ran toward her again, ramming her shoulder into Sora's body again! Gwen then ran to the opposite corner, raised a hand before yelling "FIRST AND ONLY!" to boos from the crowd. . .and charged out of the corner. . .

. . .only for Sora to spin out of the way, causing Gwen to hit the steel post shoulder-first! Gwen slowly pulled herself out of the corner. . .and right into a Monkey Flip from Sora! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Gwen kicked out! Sora pulled Gwen up to her feet and went for a chop, but Gwen blocked it and slapped Sora right across the face, to massive boos from the crowd!

"So far, Sora and Gwen are putting on a fight to be expected from the two top-ranked wrestlers according to the FWC character rankings, and it looks like the tensions between these two females are only going to escalate!" Early said, as Sora, incensed with anger, put Gwen in a collar-and-elbow tie-up and drove her toward the ropes!

"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "Their completely opposite personalities could make this a barn-burner!"

Sora attempted to push Gwen back-first into her corner. . .

. . .but Gwen nailed Sora in the abdomen with a high knee! Sora faltered a bit, allowing Gwen to take Sora down with a drop toe hold, causing her to land neck-first onto the middle rope! Sora clenched her throat as she crumbled to the mat, gasping for breath. . .until Gwen stepped back a bit, ran toward Sora, and kicked her right into the ribs, sending her to roll under the bottom rope and land onto the ringside floor! Gwen looked over the ropes at the Crest-bearer of Love with a sly smirk before stepping over the middle rope. . .sizing Sora up from the ring apron. . .

. . .AND TAKING HER DOWN WITH A DIVING LEG DROP! Gwen leapt back up to her feet as the referee began the ten count!

"And Gwen Tennyson is just having her way with the XCW Women's Champion!" Early said, as Gwen grabbed Sora by the hair and drug her toward the steel steps.

"No kidding! Sora's gotta be prepared for brutality like this, because she's defending her Women's Championship against Princess Peach at Heatwave in a Hardcore match!"

Gwen pulled Sora's head up. . .AND RAMMED HER FACE INTO THE STEEL STEPS! Ben looked on from his corner, cheering his cousin on while Tai looked on in shock from his corner, while still giving Sora cheers of encouragement. Meanwhile, Gwen pulled Sora's head up again. . .AND SMASHED HER FACE INTO THE STEEL STEPS AGAIN!

"Good grief! The Alpha Bitch could be disfiguring the pretty face of Sora Takenouchi!" Early called, as the referee's count reached five. Gwen raised Sora's head once again. . .

. . .THRUST IT AGAINST THE STEEL STEPS. . .

. . .only for Sora to nail Gwen in the shin with a kick! Sora then put the CCW Females Champion in a headlock, drug her toward the ring apron, and smashed her face against it! Sora pulled Gwen up by the hair again and rammed her face into the ring apron two more times before sliding her into the ring under the bottom rope. Sora stepped onto the ring apron behind her before climbing up to the top rope. . .sizing Gwen up. . .

. . .AND KNOCKING GWEN INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK! Sora crawled toward Gwen and went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Gwen kicked out! Sora rolled off Gwen and crawled toward her corner, where Tai stood slapping his hand on the top turnbuckle in front of him, while Ben stood in the opposite corner extending his arm out toward Gwen for a tag!

"The XCW Women's and CCW Female's Champions finally got their hands on each other, but now they're desperate for a tag to their significant others!" Early observed as Sora and Gwen crawled ever closer to Tai and Ben. . .

. . .until Gwen successfully made the tag to Ben first! Sora inched closer to Tai. . .until Ben charged toward the XCW World Champion and hit him with a European uppercut that knocked him off the ring apron and down to the ringside floor!

"OH COME ON! You're gonna face him anyway! What was the point of that?" Early asked in disgust while the crowd booed at the "Best in the Universe". Ben looked on at Tai from the ring, mocking him and laughing at him!

"He felt like throwing more of his weight around as the "Best in the Universe". Tai and Sora saved the universe too, but it never went to their heads!" Shake said, as Tai clenched his forehead while glaring up at Ben from the ringside floor! Tai growled under his breath before rising up to his feet and charging toward the ring, making the tag with Sora right before sliding under the bottom rope and driving Ben against the ropes behind him! As Ben and Tai bounced back, Tai Irish whipped him across the ring and took him down with a clothesline! Ben rolled up to his feet only for Tai to take him down with another clothesline! Ben strafed back up to a standing position until Tai took him back down with a neckbreaker! Tai quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ben kicked out!

Tai pulled Ben up by the collar, only for Ben to surprise him with a right hand to the face, knocking Tai back a bit. Ben then slugged Tai in the face with another right hand before picking him up by the waist and slamming him down with a Shin Breaker! Ben then ran against the ropes behind him and slammed Tai down to the mat face-first with a bulldog! Ben went for another cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! Ben muttered "DAMN IT" under his breath in frustration while pulling Tai back up by the hair. Ben went for another tie-up. . .only for Tai to kick Ben in the midsection and plant him with a Facebuster! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ben kicked out!

Tai rolled Ben onto his chest and proceeded to grab his arm to lock it in an armbar submission maneuver. . .only for Ben to roll onto Tai's chest and nail him in the face with a series of right hands!

"Ben countered out of the XCW World Heavyweight Champion's attempted submission maneuver, and now, by God, he's keeping the upper hand!" Early said, as Ben pulled Tai back up to his feet and threw him back-first into a corner before nailing him in the ribs with a kick! Ben followed up with a three-punch combination that left Tai dazed. . .as Ben backed up to the opposite corner. . .

. . .went for a corner splash. . .

. . .but Tai spun out of the corner in time, causing Ben to hit the top turnbuckle face-first! Ben stumbled around the ring in a daze. . .

. . .and right into a Snap Suplex from Tai! Tai quickly went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Ben kicked out! Tai couldn't believe it! Tai then pulled Ben up to his feet and slapped him across the chest with a swift backhanded chop! Tai continued to hit Ben with chop after chop until he was backed up into the corner. Tai hammered away at Ben's body with various chops, kicks and punches that culminated with a judo kick to the back of Ben's head! Ben collapsed onto the mat face-first while Tai climbed up to the top rope!

"And just like that, Tai Kamiya is back in control of this main event matchup, and is now looking to go high-risk!" Early said, while Ben pushed himself up to his knees. . .only to fall face-up onto the mat, clenching the back of his head! Tai reached the top rope. . .

. . .sized Ben up. . .

. . .but Gwen stepped onto the second rope behind Tai and shoved him off the ropes, down to the mat!

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Early screamed as Sora looked on, mouth agape in disgust.

"The Alpha Bitch is certainly living up to her nickname right now!" Shake declared, as Ben grabbed Tai's leg. . .lifted it up. . .and slammed his knee down to the mat with a Knee Smash! Tai sold his knee in pain until Ben pulled Tai back up to a standing position. . .Irish whipped him into a corner, following right behind him. . .

. . .and landing a running corner dropkick right into Tai's sternum! Ben pulled Tai by the leg back into the center of the ring and landed a knee drop right to Tai's chest! Ben then went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! Ben stood up to his knees, furrowing his brow in anger!

"The resiliency of our World Champion is starting to get on the nerves of Ben Tennyson!" Early said, as Ben drug Tai toward his corner. . .

. . .but Tai grabbed onto Ben's arm, and pulled himself back up to a standing position before keeping Ben in a wrist-lock! Tai maneuvered over to Ben's backside, then latched onto his waist. . .and brought him down with a Back Suplex! Tai then ran toward the ropes behind him and landed a springboard elbow to the Best in the Universe! Tai went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Ben kicked out!

"BAH GAWD, Shake, these two World Champions are giving it all they've got right now!" Early said.

"You got that right, Early!" Shake agreed. "Gwen's stuck her nose in the men's fight, but Tai and Ben are still neck-and-neck! And now it appears they're looking to make a tag to their significant others!"

Tai crawled up to his knees while Ben sat up, selling his abdomen as he stood up and stepped toward Gwen, successfully making the tag right as Tai managed to tag in Sora, who climbed up to the top rope and leapt toward Gwen as she entered the ring. . .

. . .but Gwen caught Sora's attempt at a Diving Crossbody and went for a small package! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! The XCW Women's Champion strafed up to her feet, glaring at her adversary as she met her in the center of the ring with a collar-and-elbow tie-up! Sora put Gwen in a front face lock only for Gwen to surprise Sora with a soccer kick to the midsection, breaking her grip. After a series of soccer kicks, Gwen then pulled Sora down with a snapmare, then hit her with a dropkick to the back! Gwen then ran against the ropes behind her and landed a leg drop onto Sora's chest! Gwen then went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

Gwen grabbed Sora by the hair and pulled her up, then swung her leg forward for another soccer kick. . .but Sora caught it in time and took her down with a Dragon Screw! With a grip still on Gwen's legs, Sora stood back up. . .and slingshot Gwen face first into a corner turnbuckle! Gwen ambled around the ring in a daze until Sora took her down with a Jawbreaker! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Gwen grabbed onto the bottom rope with her hand! Sora then pulled Gwen into the center of the ring, then turned her onto her chest. . .and put her in a Mexican Surfboard submission hold! Gwen shrieked in agonizing pain as the referee asked the Alpha Bitch if she wanted to quit. Gwen violently shook her head no as Sora intensified the hold!

"The Mexican Surfboard is a deadly submission maneuver! Could Sora have Gwen beaten here?" Early wondered as Gwen winced in pain. . .

. . .until Ben slid into the ring and baseball slid right into Sora, breaking up the hold!

"But the Best in the Universe makes the save for his cousin!" Shake called, as Ben stood up with a smirk. . .

. . .ONLY TO BE MET WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY FROM TAI! Tai and Ben rolled out of the ring while Gwen laid prone from the damage done by the Mexican Surfboard as Sora went for another cover! 1. . .2. . .Gwen kicked out! Sora looked down at Gwen in disbelief before pulling her up to her feet and Irish whipping her into the corner.

Meanwhile, on the ringside floor, Tai and Ben stood up and charged toward each other, with Ben grabbing Tai's arm and Irish whipping him right into the ring post near the commentator's area, with Tai's head colliding into it with a sickening clang! Back in the ring, Sora hit Gwen in the chest with backhanded chop after chop until Gwen fell to one knee, selling her body. Sora then backed up to the opposing corner, raised a fist above her head toward the fans before running back toward Gwen. . .

. . .WHO SURPRISED SORA WITH A BOOT TO THE FACE! Sora careened backwards, selling her face until she turned around. . .

. . .AND RECEIVED A LOU THESZ PRESS FROM GWEN! While Gwen hammered away at Sora's face with furious right hands, the referee saw Tai and Ben brawling near the commentator's area and headed in their direction! Gwen stood back up and posed for the fans, who returned with a chorus of boos back at her. Gwen's eyes narrowed at the raucous crowd as she turned back around. . .and was taken down by a swinging neckbreaker by Sora!

Back outside the ring, Ben pulled Tai up by the hair and went to slam his face into the barricade. . .but the referee made it in time to order Ben and Tai back to their respective corners! They reluctantly did so, but stared each other down the whole way!

"Tempers are flaring even more between Tai and Ben Tennyson!" Early observed.

"No kidding!" agreed Shake. "I have a feeling that when these two men are tagged back in, they'll burn the house down!"

While the referee was still out of the ring, Sora pulled Gwen back up and put her in a waist-lock. . .

. . .BUT GWEN NAILED SORA WITH A BACK KICK LOW BLOW! Sora fell to the mat, clenching her groin in pain as the crowd's boos reached deafening levels!

"AND THE ALPHA BITCH JUST TOOK SORA DOWN WITH A DAMN LOW BLOW! THE REFEREE NEVER SAW IT!" Early screamed in disgust while Gwen wrapped Sora in a waist-lock, slammed her back down with a belly-to-back side slam. . .and locked in a Hammerlock just as the referee came back into the ring!

"And thanks to a bitch move from the Alpha Bitch, Gwen Tennyson's got Sora Takenouchi right where she wants her in that Hammerlock submission maneuver!" Early said, as Sora cried in agonizing pain while inching toward the ropes!

"Sora's a fine high-flyer, but with that move locked in, there's no way she'll get off the ground!" added Shake while the referee knelt down and asked Sora if she wanted to quit. Sora violently shook her head no while worming her way toward her corner. . .with Tai extending his hand out for a tag!

"Sora's fighting her way toward her husband for a tag! Will she make it?" Early called as Sora inched closer toward her corner. . .

. . .extended her hand out. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT GWEN PULLED SORA BY THE LEGS BACK INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING!

"BUT GWEN DOESN'T WANT ANY OF THAT HAPPENING HERE TONIGHT!" Shake declared, as Gwen reapplied the hold, with the ropes too far for Sora to reach!

The referee asked Sora once again if she wanted to quit, but Sora once again shook her head no. . .before intensifying the hold. . .

. . .AND ADDING AN STF FOR GOOD MEASURE!

"The Tennysons have the CCW Magnus and Female's titles, the number one rankings in the FWC polls, and now they may have the numbers of Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi!" said Early, while Sora tried inching toward the ropes but to no avail. Putting more pressure on the STF than the Hammerlock, Gwen continued wrenching on Sora's neck, screaming "TAP OUT, BITCH!" Sora's face contorted into a look of anger as Gwen kept the STF hold applied. . .while Sora inched once more toward the ropes. . .but could only get so far. With a swift burst of adrenaline, Sora planted her hands flat onto the mat. . .and tried to push herself up! Gwen continued applying the STF as Sora got onto one knee. . .and hit Gwen in the chest with an elbow! Gwen's grip on Sora's neck began to loosen as Sora got to her second knee. . .and elbowed Gwen once again! With the fans on their feet, Gwen could only let go of the STF hold as Sora finally came back to a standing position. . .

. . .and take Gwen down with the Youngblood Neckbreaker! Sora draped her arm over Gwen's body for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 GWEN KICKED OUT! Sora rolled off Gwen for the cover, looking up at the ceiling catching her breath as the referee began the ten count!

"Gwen Tennyson had Sora dead to rights with the Hammerlock/STF combination, but the XCW Women's Champion fought her way out of it!" Early said. "And now things are neck-and-neck between the two champions once again!"

"The last thing we want is another tie to end the night!" Shake called. "Come on, girls! Get up and beat the crap out of each other!"

Sora and Gwen slowly rose up to their feet. . .met in the center of the ring. . .and began trading right hands, with the crowd cheering "YAY!" in unison with Sora's punches, and chanting "BOOO!" in unison with Gwen's punches. They continued hitting each other with right hand after right hand until Sora surprised Gwen with a left hand instead of a right! Sora began to dominate Gwen with thunderous right hands that backed her up against the ropes. Sora then Irish whipped Gwen across the ring, and took her down with an Alabama Slam on the bounceback before following up with another falling elbow! Sora went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 GWEN KICKED OUT! Sora grimaced as she pulled Gwen back up by the hair. . .until the Alpha Bitch surprised the Crestbearer of Love with a headbutt! Sora sold her head in pain until Gwen whacked Sora in the abdomen with another soccer kick! Gwen hit Sora with another soccer kick before backing up against the ropes and running toward her, taking her down with a Shin Breaker of her own! Gwen then backed up toward her corner. . .climbed up the top rope. . .and successfully landed a Diving Stomp onto Sora's abdomen! Gwen went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SORA KICKED OUT! Gwen rolled her eyes in annoyance before grabbing Sora with a fistful of hair, only for Sora to nail her between the eyes with an elbow. With Gwen dazed momentarily, Sora lifted the Alpha Bitch up in a fireman's carry position, ran forward for a rolling fireman's carry slam. . .only for Gwen to drop out of it and shove Sora toward the ropes in front of her. Sora bounced back. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO THE KNEECAPITATION FROM GWEN! Gwen went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SORA KICKED OUT! Gwen couldn't believe it! Gwen then stood up and grabbed Sora's legs in an attempt to put her in an Argentine leglock. . .but Sora kicked Gwen toward the ropes! After the bounceback, Sora leapt up. . .

. . .and took down Gwen with a Tornado DDT! Sora went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

2\. . .

. . ..2.75 GWEN KICKED OUT! Sora hit Gwen with two swift kicks to the abdomen after pulling her back up, then took her back down with a Spinning Wheel Kick! Sora then strode toward a corner turnbuckle, and began to climb up as the fans rose to their feet again!

"And now Sora Takenouchi, looking to go high-risk!" Early declared, as Gwen stumbled up to her feet, selling her jaw!

"Sora's in the driver's seat—" Shake said as Sora sized Gwen up. . .

. . .leapt off the top rope for a Crossbody. . .

. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO A COMPLETE SHOT FROM GWEN!

"NOOOOO!" Early screamed. "GWEN CAUGHT SORA IN MID-AIR WITH THE COMPLETE SHOT! COULD THAT BE ALL SHE WROTE?"

Gwen rolled on top of Sora for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SORA KICKED OUT! Gwen looked up at the referee with eyes wide, and mouth agape in disbelief!

"OH MAH GAWD, HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?" Early yelled as Gwen stood up and began arguing with the referee, violently screaming in his face!

"And now Gwen's throwing a temper tantrum right at the referee!" called Shake, as the fans began to chant "PMS! PMS! PMS!" Gwen looked around at all the fans, now enraged with anger before finally directing her attention to Sora, who had pulled herself up with the ropes. Gwen then darted back toward the XCW Women's Champion. . .leapt up for a running armbreaker. . .

. . .but Sora caught her at the right moment and set her on her shoulders in a fireman's carry! Sora then ran forward. . .

. . .AND FINALLY PLANTED GWEN WITH A ROLLING FIREMAN'S CARRY SLAM! Sora strafed back up, ran toward the ropes in front of her. . .

. . .and connected with a springboard moonsault! Sora went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. ..

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.99 GWEN KICKED OUT, SHOVING SORA RIGHT OFF HER! Gwen rose up to her feet, heavily catching her breath as she stared down Sora. Gwen charged toward the XCW Women's Champion and put her in a tie-up, shoving her toward the ropes, but Sora hit Gwen's arm with an elbow and Irish whipped her across the ring. . .only for Gwen to counter with an Irish whip of her own! Sora bounced off the ropes. . .and Gwen took her down with an Arm Drag! Sora strafed back up to her feet. . .only for Gwen to take her down with another Arm Drag! Gwen then backed up against the ropes, almost foaming at the mouth taunting for Sora to stand back up! Sora then slowly staggered back up to her feet. . .

. . .UNTIL GWEN TOOK HER DOWN WITH THE MAGIC BACKBREAKER! Selling her torso from the fight, Gwen turned Sora onto her back and went for a cover of her own in the center of the ring, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.99 SORA KICKED OUT! Gwen rolled off Sora, literally kicking and screaming in the center of the ring!

"The Alpha Bitch is almost near tears over the fact she just can't get her way!" Shake said, as Gwen rolled onto her chest and began to crawl toward Ben!

"But she's looking to tag in the 'Best in the Universe'!" Early called, as Sora began inching toward Tai, who stood in his corner extending his arm out for a tag!

"And the XCW World Heavyweight Champion wants nothing more than to get one more piece of the Best in the Universe!" Shake added, as both girls came closer to their corners! Sora and Gwen wormed closer to their Tai and Ben. . .

. . .extended their arms out. . .

. . .moved ever closer. . .their fingertips almost brushing. . .

. . .

. . .

.. .AND SUCCESSFULLY MADE THE TAGS IN TO TAI AND BEN!

"AND THE ROOF IS ON FIRE HERE IN THE HYDROX ARENA, AS THE XCW WORLD CHAMPION AND THE CCW MAGNUS CHAMPION ARE BACK IN THE RING!" Early screamed, as Tai and Ben entered the ring from their corners and charged toward each other, meeting in a tie-up in the center of the ring! Ben put Tai in a front face-lock before taking him down with a Snapmare, then ran against the ropes behind him for a dropkick to the head. . .but Tai spun out of the way! After Ben landed on his back, Tai landed a series of stomps to his chest before pulling him back up to his feet and whacking him in the chest with a series of backhanded chops! Tai continued slapping Ben's chest with chop after chop until Ben managed to block one, kick Tai in the midsection. . .

. . .only for Tai to catch his foot before the impact! Tai threw Ben's foot back down and picked him up for an Alabama Slam. . .but Ben slipped out of it behind Tai. . .and took him down with a pumphandle gutbuster! Ben went for the cover on Tai, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TAI KICKED OUT! Ben punched the mat in frustration before pulling Tai back up by the hair. . .only for Tai to grab Ben's wrist and wrench on his arm before Irish whipping him across the ring, then taking him down with an armbreaker on the bounceback! Tai then grabbed Ben's arm again, pulling him back up to his feet and maneuvering behind him before lifting him up. . .and taking him down with a back suplex! Tai went for a cover of his own 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 BEN KICKED OUT! Tai stood back up to his feet, waiting for Ben to stand back up. Ben managed to stagger up to his feet right before Tai grabbed Ben by the arm, draped it over his shoulder. . .lifted him up for a suplex. . .

. . .but Ben dropped out of it behind him and slugged Tai with a punch to the kidney! Ben then put Tai in a headlock, set him up for Rear Chancery. . .

. . .but Tai spun out of it and put Ben into a waist-lock. . .only for Ben to drive Tai backwards against the ropes behind him! Tai quickly shoved Ben off him, sending him across the ring! As Ben bounced back, Tai charged toward him for a knee to the gut. . .

. . .ONLY TO EAT A SPEAR FROM BEN! Ben sneered in satisfaction as he went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 TAI KICKED OUT! Ben couldn't believe it, raising three fingers up to the referee, insisting that the count was three!

"Ben Tennyson truly thought he had Tai beat there, but it's gonna take a little more than that!" Early said, as Ben furrowed his brow in anger, then pulled Tai back up by the hair to slap him in the chest with a backhanded chop of his own! Ben hit Tai in the chest with a flurry of chops before finishing off the strikes with a right hand to the face, knocking Tai for a loop. Ben then caught Tai in a waist-lock. . .

. . .THEN CONNECTED WITH THE BKT! Ben then lifted Tai back up again for another waist-lock. . .but Tai hit him with an elbow to the ribs in desperation! Tai spun around to face his adversary then nailed him in the face with a right hand of his own, then took him down with a reverse DDT! Instead of going for the cover, Tai instead pulled Ben back up. . .draped his arm over his shoulder. . .lifted him up. . .

. . .AND BROUGHT HIM DOWN WITH A DRAGON SUPLEX! Tai quickly went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 BEN KICKED OUT! Tai rolled off Ben from the cover in disbelief! Tai staggered up to a knee, catching his breath while Ben pushed himself up to his knees.

"Both men are visibly fatigued. . .who's gonna leave the XCW Summer Supershow a winner?" Early wondered, as Tai and Ben charged into another tie-up. Tai maneuvered under Ben and took him down with a Fireman's Carry only for Ben to strafe back up upon hitting the mat. Tai then Irish whipped Ben hard toward the ropes on the left side of the ring, then leapt over him as he bounced back. Tai went for a kick right to his face, but Ben slid right under it, then swept Tai's legs out from under him, knocking him down to the mat face-down! Ben then grabbed Tai's legs and pulled them up to put him in the Boston Crab. . .but Tai fought out of it, and kicked Ben against the ropes behind him! With a burst of adrenaline, Tai flipped back up to his feet and dove toward Ben for a crossbody block. . .

. . .ONLY FOR BEN TO HIT TAI WITH A CROSSBODY BLOCK OF HIS OWN, WITH BEN AND TAI COLLIDING INTO EACH OTHER AT THE SAME TIME! Both men were down in the center of the ring as the crowd rose back up to their feet, applauding and chanting "THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!"

"TAI IS DOWN! BEN IS DOWN! WHO'S GONNA WIN THIS MAIN EVENT MATCHUP?" Early screamed unintelligibly as Tai and Ben slowly rose up to their feet, the two World Champions gasping for breath their entire way up. Tai and Ben began trading right hands in the center of the ring, and continued to do so until Ben managed to block a punch from Tai and come back with a kick to the midsection! Ben then put Tai into a wrist-lock and Irish whipped him across the ring. . .

. . .BUT TAI LEAPT OFF THE ROPES IN FRONT OF HIM AND TOOK BEN DOWN WITH A SPRINGBOARD HURRICANRANA PIN ATTEMPT! The referee made the count 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.99 BEN KICKED OUT! Ben turned around to face Tai and slugged him with a hard uppercut that sent Tai reeling against the ropes behind him! Ben rose up to his feet. . .

. . .AND CAUGHT TAI WITH A POWERSLAM AS HE BOUNCED BACK! Ben staggered back up to his feet, staring Tai down with a sly glare as he pulled Tai back up to his feet. . .

. . .AND PUT HIM IN A FIREMAN'S CARRY POSITION ON HIS SHOULDERS!

"This might be it! Tennyson may have our champion cornered-" Shake exclaimed as Ben went for the AA. . .

. . .but Tai slid out of it, landing behind Ben and shoving him toward the ropes! Ben caught himself upon impact before Tai charged toward the Best in the Universe for a clothesline. . .

. . .but Ben pulled the top rope down, sending Tai flying over the ropes. . .until he grabbed onto the middle rope just in time! Tai pulled himself up to the ring apron and re-entered the ring. . .

. . .or, he would have if Ben didn't nail him in the chest with a shoulder thrust! Tai faltered back a bit, selling his chest in pain until Ben nailed him with a right hand to the midsection. . .before putting him in a headlock and pulling him back into the ring above the middle rope, with his feet resting on the rope!

"OH NO!" Shake screamed as Ben looked around at the XCW fans with a sly grin forming on his face. . .

. . .BEFORE PLANTING TAI ONTO THE MAT WITH A HANGMAN'S DDT! Ben then went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.99 TAI'S FOOT RESTED ON THE ROPES! Ben looked down at Tai with eyes wide, seething with anger as he stood up from the cover!

"THE CCW MAGNUS CHAMPION'S GOT THE CRAZY EYES!" Early yelled. "HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S GONNA DO TO WIN THIS MATCH!"

"GET UP, CHAMP!" Ben taunted, as he watched Tai pull himself up to his feet with the ropes. Tai then staggered around to face Ben. . .

. . .WHO LEAPT UP. . .

"I THINK HE'S GONNA GO ON A TRIP THAT'S INTERGALATIC—"

. . .BUT TAI GRABBED ONTO HIS WAIST AND PLANTED HIM DOWN WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! But Tai kept his grip on Ben's waist as he pulled him back up to his feet. . .and took him down with ANOTHER German Suplex!

"MAYBE NOT, SHAKE!" Early screamed! "TAI STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!"

Tai continued gripping Ben's waist as he staggered back up to a standing position. . .lifted him up. . .and dropped him with a THIRD AND FINAL GERMAN SUPLEX! Tai draped his body over Ben's for a cover! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

"IT'S OVER—"

. . .

. . .2.9999999999999999999 GWEN PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Early shouted at a deafening level!

"AND GWEN TENNYSON, LIKE HER COUSIN WOULD FOR HER, HAS RESORTED TO DESPERATE MEASURES TO ENSURE A VICTORY FOR BEN—WAIT A MINUTE!" Shake exclaimed. . .

. . .UNTIL SORA LEAPT OFF A NEARBY CORNER AND TOOK GWEN DOWN WITH A DIVING SPEAR!

"BAH GAWD IT'S DISSOLVED TO CHAOS OUT HERE BETWEEN THE ALPHA BITCH AND THE XCW WOMEN'S CHAMPION!" Early screamed, as Tai limped toward a corner and climbed up to the top rope!

"BUT BACK IN THE RING, TAI'S ABOUT TO WIN IT FOR HIM AND SORA!" Shake yelled as Tai posed on the corner. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO THE INTERGALACTIC FROM BEN!

"OHHHHH MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD!" Shake shrieked as Tai and Ben lay prone in the center of the ring!

"AN INTERGALACTIC IN MID-AIR! BEN CAUGHT TAI WITH THE INTERGALACTIC IN MID-AIR! AND NOW BEN'S IN POSITION TO PICK UP THE VICTORY!" Early bellowed as Gwen pulled the referee up and shoved him back into the ring under the bottom rope, right before getting tackled to the ringside floor by Sora! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Ben pushed Tai onto his back for the cover!

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Early cried!

"WELL, BELIEVE IT, EARLY!" Shake said, as the referee made the count! "BECAUSE TONIGHT. . ."

1\. . .

". . .THE XCW SUMMER SUPERSHOW. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

"IS ALL ABOUT THE TENNYSONS—"

. . .2.9999999999999999999999999 TAI KICKED OUT!

"CAN YOU BELIEVE THE RESILENCY AND THE FORTITUDE OF TAI KAMIYA?" Early screamed, as Ben kneeled up from the cover, his eye twitching in disbelief!

"BEN SURE CAN'T!" answered Shake. "HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE!"

Ben then stood up, looked down at the referee. . .AND NAILED HIM WITH A PUNT TO THE HEAD!

"AND HE JUST DID ON THE REFEREE!" Early called. "THAT DAMN TENNYSON CAN'T WIN A FAIR FIGHT!"

Ben then staggered out of the ring and lumbered to the ringside area, where he grabbed Tai's XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt!

"And now he's planning on knocking Tai out with his own title belt!" Shake observed as Ben slid back into the ring, but not before looking at Gwen headbutt Sora at ringside and saying "You've got her, cuz!"

"Gwen receiving her cousin's seal of approval for the beating she's about to put on Sora!" Early said, as Gwen set Sora's head between her legs for a piledriver. . .

. . .BUT SORA DROVE GWEN AGAINST THE RING APRON! Gwen screamed in agonizing pain, selling her back. Sora then leapt up. . .

. . .AND TOOK GWEN DOWN WITH A SORACANRANA ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!

Back in the ring, Tai had pulled himself up to his knees with the ring ropes next to him as Ben cocked back the XCW World title belt behind his head. . .

. . .BUT TAI DUCKED THE BELT SHOT! Ben turned in Tai's direction and received a kick to the midsection, forcing the Best in the Universe to drop the belt! Tai then draped Ben's arm over his shoulder. . .

. . .raised him high in the air. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A BRAINBUSTER!

"TAI KAMIYA WITH A BRAINBUSTER!" Early yelled. "TAI ADDED A NEW MOVE TO HIS REPERTOIRE!"

Tai then pointed back at a corner, to cheers from the crowd as he began to step toward it!

"But he's going back to using his old favorite weapon: his head!" Shake said while Tai climbed up to the top rope!

Meanwhile, Sora made her way back onto the ring apron near her corner. . .unaware that Gwen was slowly making her way back up from the ringside floor!

Back in the ring, Tai sized Ben up. . .

". . .in the form of. . ."

. . .

. . .

. . .leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

". . .the TAI DIVE!"

. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE TAI DIVE!

Tai fidgeted and squirmed upon making impact before crawling on top of Ben for a cover as the referee regains consciousness!

"TAI WITH THE COVER! THE REFEREE IS BACK UP!"

The referee made the count! 1. . .

"TAI AND SORA. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

"ARE THE DOMINANT COUPLE. . ."

. . .

. . .2.99999999999999 GWEN BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT WITH AN ELBOW DROP!

". . .IN THIS BUSIN—NOOOOOOOOO! THE ALPHA BITCH BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!" Early shouted as Gwen kicked the referee out of the ring, while Sora entered the ring and charged toward Gwen. . .ran toward Sora. . .

. . .who entered the ring and tackled Gwen down to the mat, with the two redheads hitting each other in the face with various punches and slaps!

"CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!" Shake screamed in excitement as Sora and Gwen rolled out of the ring from under the bottom rope, down to the ringside floor!

"The top ranked female wrestlers in this business are certainly going at it as fierce as we expected, Shake!" Early said. "And so are Ben and Tai—"

In the ring, Tai had risen to his feet and stood right over Ben. . .went to lock in the Crossface-

"LOOK AT TAI! GOING FOR THE CROSSFACE—"

-BUT BEN NAILED TAI IN BETWEEN THE LEGS WITH A LOW BLOW!

"NOOOOO! BEN RESORTING TO A DRASTIC MEASURE TO KEEP HIMSELF IN THIS MATCHUP!" Early screamed, before Ben took Tai down. . .AND LOCKED IN THE CLOVERLEAF QUASAR!

"AND NOW TAI'S TRAPPED IN THE QUASAR!" Early shouted. "HE'S GOT IT LOCKED IN! THE BEST IN THE UNIVERSE HAS GOT THE CLOVERLEAF LOCKED IN!"

Tai screamed in agonizing pain as Ben intensified the hold with all his might!

"TAI'S SO CLOSE TO THE ROPES!" Early cried!

"BUT THE REFEREE IS DOWN AND OUT! THERE'S NO REFEREE!" Shake informed as Tai inched closer and closer to the ropes. . .

. . .AS A SECOND REFEREE RAN DOWN THE RAMP TOWARD THE RING!

"Ask and you shall receive, Shake! CAN TAI HOLD OUT FOR JUST A LITTLE LONGER?" Early wondered as Tai inched closer to the ropes. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .AND MADE IT TO THE ROPE—NO! GWEN PULLED THE ROPE FURTHER AWAY FROM TAI'S GRASP BEFORE THE NEW REFEREE COULD ENTER THE RING!

"TAI WOULD'VE REACHED THE ROPES, BUT THE DAMN ALPHA BITCH OF CCW IS DOING EVERYTHING SHE CAN TO ASSURE VICTORY FOR HER FAMILY!" Shake screamed in disgust while Ben moved Tai into the center of the ring, and reapplied the Cloverleaf Quasar!

"TAI'S BACK IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! COME ON, KID! GET TO THE ROPES!" Early cried.

"GWEN'S WATCHING THE ROPES LIKE WHITE ON RICE! THERE'S NOWHERE FOR TAI TO GO!" Shake countered, as the referee asked Tai if he wanted to quit. Tai shook his head no. . .only for Ben to intensify the hold!

"BEST IN THE UNIVERSE!" Ben shouted at the top of his lungs, as Tai tried to inch closer to the ropes, but to no avail! He kept his arm raised high above the mat as he wormed as close as he could to the ropes. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . . .

. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL SORA BROKE UP THE HOLD WITH A DIVING MOONSAULT!

"And Sora Takenouchi has made the save for Tai! For the Crest Couple! For XCW!" Early screamed unintelligibly as Gwen came onto the ring apron, and tried to enter the ring over the second rope. . .

. . .but Sora took Gwen out with a baseball slide that knocked her back down to the ringside floor!

With the referee yelling at Sora to leave the ring, Sora strode over to a corner turnbuckle. . .

. . .AND CLIMBED UP THE TOP ROPE!

"Ben and Tai are incapacitated yet again, and the referee wants Sora out of the ring!" Early said, as Sora stood on the top rope, looking down at Gwen with a scowl. . .

"He's gonna get his wish, and so is everybody in this arena!" Shake declared! "Sora said earlier tonight that she wants to put Gwen in her place, and she's about to do so. . ."

. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .

. . .

". . .WITH THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS-"

. . .

. . .AND HITTING GWEN WITH THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR! Sora sold her chest upon impact, as she and Gwen laid in front of the destroyed announcer's tables in a crumbled heap!

"BAH GAWD SORA IS DOWN! GWEN IS DOWN! TAI IS DOWN! BEN IS GETTING UP, AND LOOKING TO PUT THE FINAL DAGGER INTO THE SOUL OF TAI KAMIYA!" Early yelled, as Ben grabbed another fistful of Tai's hair and pulled him up to his feet. . .

. . .BEFORE LEAPING UP FOR ANOTHER INTERGALACTIC-

-BUT TAI CAUGHT HIM AND SLAMMED HIM DOWN TO THE MAT FACE-FIRST, THEN APPLIED THE CROSSFACE!

"WAIT A MINUTE! TAI COUNTERED THE INTERGALACTIC! THE CROSSFACE! TAI'S GOT THE CROSSFACE!"

The fans erupted into cheers as Tai wrenched onto the hold, and Ben screamed in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked Ben if he wanted to quit. Ben shook his head no as Tai let out a scream of intensity!

"BEN HAS NOWHERE TO GO! WILL HE TAP?" Early cried as Ben inched closer to the ropes, with Tai only intensifying the hold more and more! Ben extended his hand out. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .kept his arm raised high in the air. . .

. . .

. ..

. . .wormed closer to the ropes. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .but had to tap out!

"AND HE TAPS OUT!" Early screamed as the bell rang! "TAI AND SORA HAVE BEATEN THE TENNYSONS!"

Tai rolled off of Ben, collecting himself as the entire arena roared in a standing ovation!

"The winners of this match. . .the team of SORA TAKENOUCHI. . .AND TAI KAMIYA!"

"THIS SELLOUT CROWD HAS ERUPTED, AND THEY HAVE EVERY REASON TO, SHAKE! BECAUSE TAI AND SORA DID WHAT THEY PROMISED TO DO, AND DEFEATED BEN AND GWEN TENNYSON!" Early screamed, while Sora slid into the ring and helped Tai up to his feet.

"What a match!" Shake said in astonishment. "It was back and forth between the Kamiyas and the Tennysons, and it dissolved into pure chaos, just like Ben and Gwen wanted, but in the end, Tai and Sora fought as hard as they always do, and prevailed, solidifying themselves as the dominant couple in fiction wrestling!"

The referee stood in between Sora and Tai, and raised their arms above their heads in victory, as the fans continued to chant "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"What a match. . .what a NIGHT!" Early exclaimed, as the roof of the arena began to open!

"And it's not over yet, Early!" Shake said, as the roof of the arena began to open! "We have a firework ceremony to watch!"

The roof of the arena opened completely, revealing the entire night sky while the show cut to an area outside the arena, where Huey and Riley Freeman ran in an exterior parking lot.

"Well, there's Huey Freeman, hightailing it out of here with his brother Riley with our Hardcore Championship!" Early observed.

"They don't want to see the fireworks! They want to bring our title to Animated!" Shake said, as Huey and Riley saw their car in front of them.

"Yo, hurry up, man! Our ride to the hotel is here! Get in!" Riley said in a rush before he opened the back door to their car and stepped into the backseat.

"I'm right behind you, bro!" Huey said right behind him as he reached the car. . .but stopped to turn around and look at the Hydrox Arena.

Huey smiled as he raised the XCW Hardcore title belt above his head.

"XCW AIN'T GOT SHIT ON DA FREEMAN BOIZ—"

"—but ROLF does!"

Suddenly Huey was blindsided. . .

. . .BY A SHOVEL SHOT TO THE HEAD FROM ROLF!

"WAIT A MINUTE! IT'S ROLF!" Shake screamed, while Riley tried to leave the backseat of the car. . .opening the door from the inside. . .

. . .ONLY FOR ROLF TO SLAM THE CAR DOOR RIGHT ONTO RILEY'S HAND! Riley screamed in agonizing pain, falling backward onto the car seat holding his hand.

"And XCW's Son of a Shepherd is stopping his and Ed's Wrestlemania opponents from stealing the Hardcore title!" Early called, as a referee came into the scene. Rolf threw the shovel down to the grass below him. . .

. . .taunted for Huey to stand up. . .

. . .AND CLOCKED HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY! Rolf went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.999999999999999 KENNY MCCORMICK LEAPT OFF THE TOP OF THE FREEMAN BOIZ'S CAR AND LANDED A SENTON BOMB ONTO ROLF!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Early yelled, as Rolf rolled off the cover, selling his back while Kenny McCormick muffled under his breath as he crawled on top of Huey for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And the XCW Hardcore Championship is back in the hands of XCW, and the South Park Extremist!" Early said, as the referee handed him the XCW Hardcore title belt!

"Congratulations, Kenny McCormick! You are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"He came back from the dead to bring this Hardcore title chase full circle!" Shake declared, as Kenny raised the title belt above his head and jumped for joy. . .

"Don't think Rolf hasn't forgotten about you, you COAT-WEARING OAF!" roared Rolf, as he charged toward Kenny! Kenny ran at breakneck speed away from Rolf and the car, where Riley Freeman slid out of the backseat, clenching his hand and chasing Kenny, with Huey stumbling far behind him!

"The XCW Summer Supershow may be coming to a close, but the chaos for the XCW Hardcore title rages on!" Early called, as Kenny managed to out-sprint Rolf and the Freeman Boiz. . .

. . .but trip over a series of electrical wires! Kenny struggled to untangle himself out of them, only to get more and more tangled!

"Kenny's got himself in a sticky situation here, Early!" Shake said, as Rolf, Huey and Riley skidded to a stop far behind Kenny, and began to back away.

"You're right, Shake!" said someone off-screen. "It is a sticky situation. . ."

Kenny continued trying his best to get out of the wires. . .only to run into a box. . .

. . .LABELED 'BOTTLE ROCKETS'! The camera then panned toward the source of the voice. . .

. . .REVEALING DEADPOOL TO BE STANDING NEXT TO A FIREWORK DETONATOR!

". . .TURNED EXPLOSIVE!" said the Merc With A Mouth. "Warner siblings, are you ready?"

"We sure are, Wade!" Yakko said from afar, as he, Wakko, and Dot each stood in front of another firework detonator!

"My favorite part of the show. . .I GET TO BLOW THINGS UP!" screamed Deadpool, as he and the Warner Brothers pushed down on the levers, setting off the fireworks!

"OH MY GOD!" Early foreboded, as Kenny stood tangled in the electrical wires. . .

. . .UNTIL ALL 400 POUNDS OF FIREWORKS WENT OFF, TAKING KENNY UP TO THE SKY WITH THEM!

"Ooooh! Ahhhhh!" The Warners said in astonishment as the first fireworks lit up the sky!

Numerous fireworks of all different colors and sizes continued to explode in the sky as the show cut back to the arena, where all the fans inside the arena saw them while Tai and Sora met in the center of the ring for a passionate kiss!

"Space Ghost wasn't kidding! The best way for this Supershow to go out is with a bang!" Shake said.

"It certainly deserves to, Shake!" Early added. "We've seen it all here tonight. We've seen one of the most brutal hardcore matches in this company's short history, followed by one of the craziest chases for the XCW Hardcore Championship, which changed hands a record 18 times in one night!"

"We also saw the Toon Hardcore Championship return to WWE: Animated!" Shake said.

"Scorpion answered Spongebob's open challenge tonight, and wrote another chapter in their historic rivalry. . .with Spongebob losing. . .AGAIN." informed Early.

"And we saw Tommy Vercetti learn an important lesson about underestimating your opponent!" Shake added.

"Tonight, a monster clashed with a God, and they fought each other until they couldn't anymore!" Early said.

"And it all ended with Tai and Sora, the Crest Couple, the DigiDestined, defeating the Best in the Universe, and solidifying themselves as the dominant couple in fiction wrestling!" finished Shake. "But just think, Early. . .we're only 13 days away from Heatwave!"

"You're absolutely right, Shake!" But for my money, this has been the greatest Supershow of the year!" Early said, before more pyro went off on the stage while the fireworks continued to explode outside the arena as Tai and Sora posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising their championship belts above their heads.

"Thank you PCUW, CCW, UWE, UCA, WWE: Animated, and all the fans here in the arena and watching at home for being a part of this historic night! We'll see you all next week on Monday Night Massacre. Good night everybody from Quahog!"

Tai and Sora continued celebrating until the XCW Summer Supershow went off the air!

Results:

Crash Bandicoot (UCA) defeated Kenny McCormick (c, XCW), Guntep Min (PCUW), Dan Kuso (CCW), Deadpool (Animated) and Charlie Araya (UWE) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Asheel Din (PCUW), TD Kennelly (Animated), and Senji Kiyomasa (UCA) defeated Mario (XCW), Luigi (XCW), and Kid Buu (UWE)

Liu Kang (CCW) defeated Crash Bandicoot (UCA) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Tidus (UCA) defeated Liu Kang (CCW) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Francis (Animated) defeated Claude Speed (XCW) to become the new Toon WWE Hardcore Champion

Sackboy (UWE) defeated Tidus (UCA) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Jimmy Neutron (CCW) defeated Sackboy (UWE) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Spin The Hedgehog (UWE) defeated Jimmy Neutron (CCW) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Scorpion (UWE) defeated Spongebob Squarepants (XCW) in an Open Challenge

Johnny Bravo (XCW) defeated Spin The Hedgehog (UWE) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Charlie Araya (UWE) defeated Johnny Bravo (XCW) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Lightning Farron (UCA) and Sailor Moon (Animated) defeated Asui Hikaru (UWE) and Nazz (XCW)

Claude Speed (XCW) defeated Charlie Araya (UWE) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Thomas Ambrose (UWE) defeated Tommy Vercetti (XCW) in a No-Disqualification match

Jessica Wilson (UWE) defeated Claude Speed (XCW) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Deadpool (Animated) defeated Jessica Wilson (UWE) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Conker (UWE) defeated Deadpool (Animated) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Tom Brady (CCW) defeated Conker (UWE) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Chaos The Hedgehog (UWE) and Garfield (XCW) fought to a draw

Colt Anderson (PCUW) defeated Tom Brady (CCW) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Sarge (UCA) defeated Colt Anderson (PCUW) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Team 2D (Tom and Jerry)(UWE/UCA) defeated Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh (XCW)

Jeremy Ellis (CCW/UWE) defeated Sarge (UCA) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Slade (PCUW) defeated Jeremy Ellis (CCW/UWE) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Huey Freeman (Animated) defeated Slade (PCUW) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Kenny McCormick (XCW) defeated Huey Freeman (Animated) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Tai Kamiya and Sora Takenouchi (XCW) defeated Ben and Gwen Tennyson (CCW)

And with this chapter, the XCW Summer Supershow is FINISHED! FINITO! TERMINADO! COMPLETED! SO MANY THANK YOUS GO OUT TO WWE-PG-HATER, FORCEWALKER, DANDJOHNMLOVER, SUPAH TOON, NINJA CATO (bonus thanks for the jump start in writing! XD), UNKNOWN NEMESIS, ASHEEL, DAVID THE SHINING ICE, AND EVERYONE IN THE FICTION WRESTLING MULTIVERSE FOR HELPING ME AND LETTING ME USE THEIR OCS, AND MEMBERS OF THEIR COMPANIES FOR THIS! Thanks to my incredibly busy lifestyle, it took almost NINE MONTHS to finally complete this beast, but I finally did, and couldn't have done it without your help! Thank you all so much!

The next chapter. . .is your regularly scheduled XCW Monday Night Massacre! Will Garfield and Tai Kamiya have anything to say (or DO?) to each other before their Last Man Standing match at Heatwave? Will Peach and Sora come to blows again? How will Claude strike back against Arthur and the Rookie Revolution? Will tensions rise between the South Park Four, D-Generation Ed, and the Mario brothers yet again? All that and more will be answered on the next episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre!

That will come soon, but until then, RATE/GRADE/REVIEW THE XCW SUMMER SUPERSHOW!


	36. XCW Massacre: June Week 4 Part 1

Hey fans! Following the success of the XCW Summer Supershow is the go-home episode before Heatwave! I only own my championships.

The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

"Fresh off the heels of a very successful Summer Supershow, we are now just six nights away from Heatwave in Liberty City, where for one night only, every match will be contested under an extreme stipulation! But what will happen now that the dust has settled from the Supershow, and every man and woman on the card has their eyes on their prizes within this company? Welcome to XCW Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, where we are live tonight from Sunnydale! And hello again, everybody! I'm Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and Shake, after the chaos that reigned over the XCW Summer Supershow, I'm confident we're in for one wild night, with our summer-themed pay-per-view on the horizon!"

"I'm right there with you, Early!" Shake agreed. "We have a lot on tap for this episode of Monday Night Massacre! First, the leader of D-Generation Ed, Eddy himself, teams up with the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, to take on the XCW Hardcore Champion, Kenny McCormick, and one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions, "The Enforcer" Eric Cartman!"

"Don't forget our main event tonight, Shake!" Early said. "We have a big six-man tag team matchup with even bigger implications for Heatwave! The XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya, Bugs Bunny, and Ed of D-Generation Ed will team up to take on Spongebob Squarepants, Hotsuma, and the Champion of Life, Mario! That'll be one to watch for sure!" Shake said, right before. . .

. . ."This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played!

". . .but we start off with a word from the XCW Heavyweight Champion of the World!" finished Early, as the crowd erupted into massive cheers!

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .TAI KAMIYA!"

"Last week, during the main event of the XCW Summer Supershow, Tai Kamiya, along with his wife, Sora Takenouchi, put on an intergender tag team match for the ages against Ben and Gwen Tennyson!"

To thunderous applause, Tai Kamiya stepped onto the stage, raising the World title belt high above his head before striding down the ramp.

"You're absolutely right, Early!" agreed Shake. "It was a back-and-forth, very competitive fight between two of the most iconic units in fiction wrestling! Ben and Gwen tried to steal the win, but in the end, Sora kept Gwen away with a Shooting Star Press to the ringside floor, while Tai locked Ben in the Crossface for the submission victory! It was an instant classic of a night that will be remembered for years to come!"

Tai slid into the ring under the bottom rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, raising the World title belt toward the fans.

"And in just six days at Heatwave in Liberty City, Tai has an even bigger match in scale and in opponent, when he takes on the monster Garfield in a Last Man Standing match with his XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line! I have a feeling he'll have a lot to say about that, and last week's Supershow right here, right now!"

Tai stepped off the turnbuckle and into the center of the ring with a microphone in hand, as he gazed around the arena at the fans chanting "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"I love hearing that chant. . ." Tai said in the microphone, to more cheers from the crowd. "Last week, this company put on one hell of a show. . .and we couldn't have done it without the companies that responded , the superstars that participated, and most importantly, all of you fans that attended!"

The crowd cheered and began to chant "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" even louder.

"I'm glad to know that you guys went home happy!" Tai said. "Rest assured, you'll be even happier after Heatwave!"

The crowd cheered even more as Tai raised the XCW World Heavyweight title high above his head.

"I'm gonna get to this Sunday in a little bit, but there's been something eating away at me since last week. . ." Tai said, draping the XCW World title over his shoulder. ". . .and that's the fact that one company, Character Championship Wrestling, left the XCW Summer Supershow last week without a win in any of the matches they were involved in. . .one of those matches featured Sora and I defeating the CCW Females Champion and the Magnus Champion, Gwen and Ben Tennyson. I know what you all think of them. . .but this needs to be said."

Tai looked right into the camera with a very confident but restrained expression.

"Ben. . .you fight with passion not only for your claim as the 'Best in the Universe', but also with an unparalleled passion for this business, just like everyone else on the CCW roster. I just wish our company recognized that while booking the show. . .You're a very tough competitor, but I know that without your cousin at your side, you're even tougher. I'd certainly love to face you again, with no wives or relatives, just YOU and ME inside the squared circle. . .and mark my words, if XCW's path crosses with CCW's again, I guarantee you that our bookers, our management, and our wrestlers will recognize the passion that you and all of CCW have for this business!"

As the crowd cheered, Tai turned away from the camera, looking back around the arena.

"But there's one man here in XCW that I know doesn't fight with passion, but with hatred. And that. . .

. . .

. . .is Garfield."

The crowd booed upon Garfield's mention.

"Ever since Garfield made his debut in this company, he's ran on pure hatred of everyone and everything that either crosses him or pisses him off! Months ago, he was about to kill Bugs Bunny in this ring, right in front of all of you. . .but it just didn't sit well with him that I made the save at the expense of his victory. . .and it certainly didn't sit well with me when he left me a bloody mess inside the mat soon after, and eventually assaulted my wife, along with his tag team partner and manager!"

"I thought it ended when I left Endgame with the XCW World title. . .but when Garfield chokeslammed Sora and I a couple weeks ago, and made our World Heavyweight title match a Last Man Standing match. . .I realized what Garfield's plans were. He wants to reclaim this belt as his, and he won't stop fighting for it until I am DEAD. Now, I know that tonight, he won't be in a good mood not only because it's Monday. . .but also because he failed to defeat "The God of Destruction" Chaos The Hedgehog last week. Well, I've got news for him. . .whether he comes for me tonight for it or not, I'll be ready for him!"

"Garfield may have been on a path of destruction thanks to me for the past four months.. .and while on that path, he's been through the Cell of Chaos, reigned as XCW World Heavyweight Champion, and hospitalized numerous men and women all under the orders of his power-hungry manager. . .but in Liberty City, his path reaches a DEAD END! Sora, Matt, TK, Kari, the rest of the DigiDestined and I may have resurrected our careers at Wrestlemania, but as far as I'm concerned, my XCW career won't be legitimized until Garfield is put down once and for all! This Sunday in Liberty City, we will collide one last time, and THIS time, we're going to be fighting with more intensity and fire than our fight at Endgame, because in this version of David versus Goliath, this time, it's DAVID who's walking into the arena as the World Heavyweight Champion! And this Sunday at Heatwave, the score WILL be settled. . .blood WILL be shed. . .and bones WILL be broken. . .but in the end. . .

. . .

. . .I WILL BE THE LAST MAN STANDING!"

Tai lowered his microphone as the crowd began to cheer, and Tai's entrance music began once again until the show went to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table.

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, and Shake, I gotta tell ya, I'm more excited than ever for this Sunday, and the Last Man Standing match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!"

"I am too, Early. . ." Shake said in agreement. ". . .but Tai basically just called the Monster Garfield out! Now, he and Jon Arbuckle have yet to arrive to the arena tonight, but Tai's right: Garfield will be angry, hell, he'll be FUMING over the fact that he didn't win against Chaos last week at the XCW Summer Supershow! Not only that but Garfield may not have won, but he kept a GOD from winning, as well! Tai shouldn't be underestimating his Heatwave opponent just six days before the pay-per-view!"

"I don't think he's underestimating him, Shake, he's confident and ready for him! He's beaten him once, and believes he can beat him again, even in a Last Man Standing match. We'll find out more once Garfield and Jon Arbuckle get here. . .but right now, it is time for some one-on-one action!" Early called before the show cut back to the ring, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!"

"I Am Perfection" by Downstait played to a mix of cheers and boos from the crowd as Johnny Bravo stepped onto the stage and strode down the ramp.

"Introducing first. . .from Aron City. . .JOHNNY BRAVO!"

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, right now we're about to see Johnny Bravo in action!" Early said, as Johnny Bravo entered the ring above the second rope and posed on a turnbuckle.

"Johnny Bravo was a former Toon WWE European Champion back in the 90s…" Early said. "…but he hasn't done a whole lot since then, save for a brief stint as the XCW Hardcore Champion last week during the XCW Summer Supershow. But since he re-signed to TCW, he believes he's prime for a comeback!"

Johnny Bravo stood in the center of the ring and posed for the fans, who continued giving him a mixed reaction.

"Oh, please. This guy would rather spend his time chasing a model than chasing a title!" Shake said. "If he wants to prove that he's ready to fight in an XCW ring, he's gonna have to do a lot more than just pose in front of a mirror!"

Johnny stood in the center of the ring, looking up at the ramp in anticipation. . .

. . .until pyro went off on the stage. . .

. . .

. . .AND "NO MERCY" BY PHARAOH MONCHE PLAYED!

"Oh no. . ." Early foreboded, as Johnny backed up against a corner. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND CLAUDE SPEED WALKED ONTO THE STAGE, WITH HIS BARBED-WIRE 2x4 IN HAND!

"Uhhh….Johnny? I think you better run. . ." Shake said, before Plankton made the announcement.

"And their opponent. . .from Liberty City. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .'Liberty City's Lucifer'. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"

"Claude still doesn't look none too happy about the events that transpired during last week's XCW Summer Supershow, and quite frankly, I don't blame him! Claude about had his Toon Hardcore title match against Francis won, but the Rookie Revolution interfered, not to favor Francis per se, but more so just to screw Claude over, weeks before his fight against one of their Generals, Arthur Read, at Heatwave!"

Claude rested his barbed-wire 2x4 against a ring post. . .

"And his World Television title match against Arthur is a FIRST BLOOD match! Meaning the first man to bleed in the match loses!" Shake added. "But right now, Claude looks to be in the mood to spill blood, and he'd love nothing more than to spill the blood of the first man he sees in a wrestling ring—"

. . .AND RAN INTO THE RING, IMMEDIATELY TAKING DOWN JOHNNY WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS!

"—AND HERE WE GO!" Early interrupted, as the bell rang and the match began while Claude hammered away at Johnny's face with thunderous right and left hands! Claude then pulled Johnny up to his feet only to nail him in the face with a three-punch combination, then Irish whip him across the ring. Once Johnny bounced back, Claude took him down with a massive clothesline, then wrapped his hands around Johnny's neck, choking him!

"My God!" Shake exclaimed. "This is heinous!"

The referee stepped next to Claude and started a five-count, with Claude finally letting go of Johnny when the count reached four. Claude pulled Johnny back up to his feet and Irish whipped him over the ropes and down to the ringside floor with authority. Claude then stepped over the ropes and off the ring apron, then pulled Johnny up to his feet. . .only to Irish whip him into the steel steps, with Johnny colliding into them with a sickening thud! Claude then pulled Johnny back up. . .grabbed by the back of the head. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL STEPS! Claude pulled Johnny back up. . .AND RAMMED HIS FACE INTO THE STEEL STEPS AGAIN. . .AND AGAIN. . .AND AGAIN. . .

"GOOD GRIEF!" Early screamed. "It's a bad time to be anywhere near the squared circle with Liberty City's Lucifer!"

"And a bad time to be Johnny Bravo!" added Shake, while Claude pulled up Johnny's face once more. . .

. . .AND NAILED HIM WITH A HEADBUTT! Claude then quickly lifted Johnny up. . .and slammed him chest-first onto the barricade with a forward suplex! Claude let go of Johnny, letting him crumble to the ringside floor as he backed up to a ring post. Johnny finally made it back to a standing position. . .until Claude ran toward him and took him down with a massive SPEAR! As the referee's count reached five, Claude pulled Johnny up by the hair. . .and RAMMED HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE RING APRON BEFORE CLOCKING HIS FACE AGAINST THE RING POST! Claude then slid Johnny back into the ring under the bottom rope, finally ending the referee's ten count. Claude followed Johnny back into the ring and Irish whipped him hard into the corner, then viciously rammed him in the chest with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until he fell into a seated position, upon which Claude trampled Johnny's prone body with swfit and powerful mudhole stomps!

"STOP! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!" Shake screamed. "JOHNNY'S PROBABLY DEAD!"

"This is NOT how he pictured his comeback to go at all. . ." Early said, while Claude stepped backward, screaming obscenities, practically ordering for Johnny to stand up. . .

. . .until Johnny finally reached his feet. . .

. . .ONLY TO RECEIVE A BICYCLE KICK FROM CLAUDE! Johnny fell to the mat, knocked out cold in the center of the ring! Claude then stepped over Johnny and went for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And Claude Speed just DEMOLISHES Johnny!" Early said, while Claude rose up to his knees, seething with more anger after the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"

The referee raised Claude's arm in victory. . .only for Claude to shake the referee's grip off of him and roll out of the ring under the bottom rope!

"Claude won the match, and took some much-needed frustration out on his opponents here tonight. . ." Early said, ". . .but what's he gonna do here?"

Claude strode around the ring. . .until he picked up his barbed wire 2x4!

"Oh no. . ." foreboded Shake. "I have a feeling Claude's not through with unleashing his anger. . ."

Johnny stumbled up to his feet, still dazed from Claude's Bicycle Kick, while Claude slid back into the ring. . .

. . .AND NAILED JOHNNY IN THE FACE WITH THE BARBED-WIRE 2X4!

"OHHHH MY GOD! MY GOD!" Early cried, as the crowd popped into loud cheers! "MY GOD, CLAUDE JUST WELCOMED JOHNNY BRAVO TO XCW WITH A FACEFUL OF BARBED WIRE!"

"HE WON THE MATCH!" Shake shouted. "MY GOD CLAUDE, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"

Claude then ran against the ropes behind him. . .aimed the barbed-wire 2x4 down. . .

. . .AND DROPPED TO THE MAT, GRATING JOHNNY'S FACE WITH THE BARBED WIRE AGAIN, BUSTING HIM WIDE OPEN!

"JOHNNY'S FACE HAS BEEN LACERATED!" Early yelled. "AND CLAUDE RIGHT NOW LOOKS RELENTLESS!"

"THE REFEREE EVEN LEFT THE RING!" observed Shake. "HE RAN FOR HIS LIFE!"

With a hand still gripping Johnny's hair, Claude drug him up to his feet. . .

. . .BEFORE PRESSING THE BARBED-WIRE 2X4 INTO JOHNNY'S FACE AGAIN! The barbed-wire dug into Johnny's face while he screamed in agonizing pain. . .his own blood trickling down his face. . .

. . .UNTIL CLAUDE TOOK DOWN JOHNNY WITH A WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP, WITH THE 2X4 AGAINST JOHNNY'S NECK! Claude rolled up to his feet, looking down at Johnny Bravo with an intense look on his face as he breathed heavily.

"Claude wasn't just out for a victory tonight, Shake. . ." Early said, ". . .he was out for blood, and by God, he'll be out for blood against Arthur this Sunday at Heatwave!"

Claude raised the barbed-wire 2x4 over his head to cheers from the crowd before stepping out of the ring over the second rope, leaving Johnny Bravo in a bloody mess.

"My God. . .he took out Johnny Bravo with authority tonight. . ." Shake said, ". . .I think it's safe to say that when Claude gets his hands on Arthur in his hometown of Liberty City. . .in the FIRST BLOOD match. . .Arthur will look just like Johnny Bravo. . .if not WORSE."

Claude strode up the ramp with a look of sadistic anger on his face until the show went to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood next to D-Generation Ed with a microphone in hand.

"D-Generation Ed. . ." Carl said, ". . .later tonight, Eddy and Rolf take on the XCW Hardcore Champion, Kenny McCormick, and one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions, Eric Cartman, but this Sunday, Ed and Double D will be fighting to reclaim the XCW Tag Team Championships in their Tables, Ladders and Chairs match for D-Generation Ed. Eddy, you are the leader of the stable, but you're sitting the match out! Why are you giving up a spot on the card for Heatwave in Liberty City?"

"Well, Carl. . ." Edd said, stepping forward. ". . .we argued long and hard over who would fight for the titles at Heatwave, and we each had our own cases for being in the match. But in the end, we agreed that it would be Ed and I representing our team, because Stan and Cartman fought us first, and at Heatwave, our rivalry with them will come full-circle, climaxing with us becoming the XCW Tag Team Champions once again!"

Eddy took the microphone from Carl's grip. "Sockhead's right! Besides, when I face Eric Cartman up next, I'll have beaten and bruised him so hard, that come Heatwave, he'll be f**ked up beyond any recognition!"

"Are you MAD, Eddy?" Edd said with wide eyes. "We're back to regular programming! You may have angered the network censors!"

"Can you blame me for getting the point across, Double D?" Eddy retorted. "I'm fired up! The South Park Four's done some pretty low things to us over the years, but discrediting us in front of Team 2D was the last straw! This Sunday, Ed and Double D are gonna put them BOTH through Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. . .but while they're training for the main event tonight, I'll be doing my part to ensure that the XCW Tag Team Championship returns to D-Generation Ed, by making sure that 'The Fatass' Eric Cartman doesn't MAKE it to Liberty City, and if they don't like that. . .then we've got TWO WORDS FOR 'EM. . ."

Eddy pointed to Ed, who looked into the camera with an oblivious stare.

"PEPPER GRAVY!"

Double D facepalmed while Eddy slid in front of the camera, giving it the DX crotch chop!

". . .SUCK IT!"

Eddy looked into the camera with a confident grin until the show went to a commercial break.

As the show returned from break, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!"

"What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played all over the arena to boos from the crowd.

"Introducing first. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .they are the team of the XCW Hardcore Champion. . .and one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions. . ."The Extremist" Kenny McCormick. . .and "The Enforcer". . .ERIC CARTMAN!"

"Last week, these two men made their own history at the XCW Summer Supershow!" Early informed. "With his fellow XCW Tag Team Champion, 'The Enforcer' Eric Cartman took part in a dream match come to life against Team 2D, Tom and Jerry! It was a very competitive matchup Stan and Cartman tried to steal the victory with steel chairs while the referee was incapacitated! But right on cue came D-Generation Ed, and they saved the UWE Duos Champions, and cost the XCW Tag Team Champions a victory!"

Kenny and Cartman ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising the belts toward the fans, who only booed back at them.

"But that wasn't the only incident the South Park Four found themselves involved in last week, Early!" Shake said. "Kenny McCormick was the XCW Hardcore Champion going into the XCW Summer Supershow, and he left the show as the XCW Hardcore Champion, but not before his title changed hands a record eighteen times, going to superstars such as Crash Bandicoot, Conker, Liu Kang, Riley Freeman, Slade, heck, even Sarge and Jessica Wilson! Amidst all the chaos, though, the South Park Extremist literally came out of nowhere to keep the title under XCW's proverbial roof! But he has one more challenger for his Hardcore title at Heatwave, in the form of. . ."

Kenny and Cartman looked up the ramp in anticipation until. . .

"IT'S ROLF! (It's Rolf!)"

". . .this man!"

. . .X-Pac's DX theme played to cheers from the crowd as Rolf stepped onto the stage!

"And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .he is the Son of a Shepherd. . .ROLF!"

Rolf did the DX crotch chop three times, with pyro going off on the stage behind him in unison to it each time.

"Rolf has been a thorn in Kenny's side for the past couple months in the same way the Eds have to Stan and Cartman!" Early said. "The Son of a Shepherd and the South Park Extremist have ambushed each other time and time again for the XCW Hardcore title on a number of occasions since April!"

Rolf ran down the ramp and posed toward the fans once he got to the foot of the ramp.

"But everything between those two high-flyers will come to a head this Sunday, because Kenny McCormick will put the XCW Hardcore Championship on the line against Rolf in a Falls Count Anywhere match at Heatwave!" Shake added. "But I have a feeling these two would like nothing more than to get their hands on each other here tonight!"

"And I have a feeling that the final man in this match can't wait to get his piece of the South Park Four in this tag team match!" Early predicted while Rolf glared up at Kenny and Cartman until. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."The Game" by Motorhead played!

Eddy walked onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, completely covered in the darkness of the stage, until green lights went up on it, revealing him to be holding a water bottle. Eddy then poured water over his head before looking up at the ring and walking down the ramp towards it.

"And his tag team partner. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .EDDY!"

"Out of every man in D-Generation Ed, their leader, Eddy has certainly been the most vocal about the events of last week." Early said. "He's said to be angrier than ever before at the South Park Four for costing them their fight against Team 2D, and even after briefly brawling with the UWE Duos Champions during their match at the XCW Summer Supershow, he's said he won't rest until he gets a match with Tom and Jerry!"

Once Eddy made it to the foot of the ramp, he took a swig of water and walked to the front side of the ring, and climbed onto the ring apron.

"Well, he's getting a rest whether he likes it or not, because it'll be Ed and Double D fighting for the XCW Tag Team Championship in the Tables, Ladders and Chairs match against the Mario Brothers and Stan and Cartman!" informed Shake. "But D-Ed's leader is looking to get his own piece of "The Enforcer" Eric Cartman, here tonight—"

Eddy glared at the crowd from the ring apron before looking up at the lights and spitting a huge mist of water up into the air!

Eddy then looked down and let out an intense yell of excitement before spitting a smaller mist out, and entering the ring. . .

. . .ONLY TO RECEIVE A CLOTHESLINE FROM ERIC CARTMAN!

"-BUT CARTMAN WANTS A BIGGER PIECE OF EDDY!" Shake shouted, as Cartman and Kenny began to stomp a mudhole into Eddy's torso! Cartman pulled Eddy up only to sock him with an uppercut, then for Kenny to take him down with a drop toe hold! The referee tried to push Cartman and Kenny back toward their corner, but Cartman got in his face, shouting "RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!" at the top of his lungs. . .

. . .UNTIL ROLF TOOK BOTH CARTMAN AND KENNY DOWN WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY BLOCK!

"And D-Ed's Son of a Shepherd makes the save for his stable's leader!" Early shouted, as all four men laid in a crumbled heap near the bottom right corner, until the referee ordered both teams to move to their respective corners. Eddy rolled himself up to his feet while Rolf zipped back up to a standing position, reluctantly backing up toward their corner, while Cartman and Kenny pulled themselves up and re-gathered their bearings before stepping toward their corner, glaring and Eddy and Rolf back the entire way. Cartman stepped onto the ring apron over the second rope, while Rolf did the same at the opposite corner. Once the bell rang, the match started with Eddy facing off against Kenny.

"And NOW the match is officially underway, with Eddy squaring off against Kenny!" Early said before Eddy and Kenny charged toward each other, getting into a tie-up in the center of the ring. . .but Kenny leapt over Eddy, and took him down with a surprise neckbreaker! Kenny went for a quick cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out! Kenny pulled Eddy up by all three of his hairs. . .only for Eddy to surprise Kenny with a quick knee to the gut! With the South Park Extremist now in a headlock, Eddy took down Kenny with a hip toss, then wrenched on Kenny's neck with the headlock still in tact, slamming Kenny's face repeatedly into the mat! Eddy went for a quick cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Cartman broke up the three count! Eddy shot up to his knees from the cover, giving the South Park Enforcer a death glare, with Cartman glaring back as he stepped back to his corner. Eddy shook his head back into reality before looking down at Kenny. . .

. . .who surprised him with a slap to the face! Kenny then flipped up to a standing position and sent Eddy reeling backward with an uppercut, then Irish whipped him toward the ropes. . .only to send him flying with a Monkey Flip! Kenny then rolled back up and charged toward Eddy. . .but Eddy sent Kenny flying over the top rope and down to the ringside floor, right in front of the annoucner's table! Eddy then stepped onto the ring apron and onto the ringside floor, pulled Kenny up to his feet by his coat hood. . .

. . .ONLY FOR CARTMAN TO HAVE STEPPED OFF THE RING APRON AND SURPRISED EDDY WITH A RIGHT HAND!

"And the South Park Enforcer is enforcing a lot of hurt onto the leader of D-Generation Ed!" Early cried, as Cartman knocked Eddy down to his knees with another swift right hand, until the referee shouted at him from inside the ring, and even threatened to disqualify his team. Cartman sneered at the referee in response before reluctantly stepping back onto the ring apron and watching Kenny regain his bearings while standing back up. Kenny then pulled Eddy up to his feet before slapping him right across the face again. . .

. . .AND SLAMMING HIS FACE ONTO THE RING APRON! Kenny then pulled Eddy's head back up by the hair. . .AND SLAMMED HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO THE RING APRON AGAIN! As the referee's count reached five, Kenny shoved Eddy toward the steel steps and pulled his head back up to hover above the steel steps. . .

. . .but Eddy caught Kenny by surprise with an elbow to the sternum, then Irish whipped him chest first into the steel steps! Eddy then grabbed Kenny by the coat. . and rammed him chest-first into the ring apron! As Kenny cringed in pain, the referee's count reached seven. . .until Eddy slid Kenny back into the ring under the bottom rope, and slid in after him! Eddy then waited for Kenny to push himself up to his knees. . .and took him down with a hard high knee! Eddy pulled Kenny back into the center of the ring and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out!

Eddy pulled Kenny back up and drug him into his corner before tagging in Rolf. Once Rolf leapt over all three ropes and entered the ring, Eddy Irish whipped Kenny into the opposing corner, then Irish whipped Rolf toward Kenny. . .

. . .WHO RECEIVED A BLIND TAG FROM CARTMAN! Cartman quickly entered the ring as Rolf reached the South Park Four's corner. . .only for Cartman to take him down with a Samoan Drop! Cartman then ran against the ropes behind him, and after the bounceback, successfully landed a leg drop onto Rolf! Cartman went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!

"And the Enforcer of South Park has bailed his tag team partner out of a beating from his personal rival!" Early said.

"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "And in battles between a powerhouse like Cartman, and a cruiserweight like Rolf, the big man looks to keep the high-flyer grounded!"

Cartman pulled Rolf up to his feet and slapped him across the chest with a chop, with the crowd chanting "WOOOOO!" in unison with it. Cartman continued to nail Rolf with chop after chop until he was backed up into a corner. Cartman then began to stomp a mudhole into Rolf's torso, and continued to wail away on his body as he fell into a seated position! With Rolf down now, Cartman then backed up to the center of the ring. . .charged toward Rolf's corner. . .

. . .but Rolf caught the South Park Enforcer off-guard with a kick to the chin in desperation! As Cartman reeled around the ring, with his back to the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf pulled himself up with a rope next to him and ran toward Cartman. . .who caught him and took him down with a Sidewalk Slam!

"Rolf thought he could gain the advantage, but Cartman saw him coming!" Early said before Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!

"But Rolf STILL won't go down!" Shake exclaimed, as Cartman rolled off the cover and glared at Rolf in frustration. Cartman then grabbed Rolf by the hair and pulled him toward another corner, then rammed him face-first onto the top turnbuckle one time. . .then a second time. . .then a THIRD TIME. . .

"The fatter half of the XCW Tag Team Champions wants to render Rolf useless!" Early observed, as Cartman rammed Rolf's face into the top turnbuckle for a SIXTH TIME!

"Good grief!" Shake cringed. "At this rate, Rolf won't even MAKE IT to Heatwave!"

After pulling Rolf out of the corner, Cartman Irish whipped Rolf into the South Park Four's corner, then grasped onto Rolf's hair before tagging in Kenny. Kenny then leapt onto the top rope while Cartman lifted Rolf up. . .and sat him on his shoulders in an electric chair!

"Kenny and Cartman are about to demonstrate a little teamwork!" Early called as Kenny leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .AND TOOK ROLF DOWN WITH A SPEAR, SENDING ROLF OFF CARTMAN'S SHOULDERS AND DOWN TO THE MAT! Upon making impact with the mat, Kenny rolled onto Rolf for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ROLF KICKED OUT! Kenny couldn't believe it!

"Rolf's been through all kinds of punishment in this match, but he's so resilient!" Early said.

"My God!" Shake cried. "At this rate, Kenny might not want to wait till this Sunday to beat Rolf's brains out with a weapon! What does he have to do to put Rolf away?"

Kenny grabbed Rolf by the hair and pulled him up to his feet before slugging him in the chest with a throat thrust. Kenny then ran against the ropes and upon reaching Rolf, took him down with a Spinning Arm Drag! Kenny then taunted for Rolf to stand up, while the Son of a Shepherd reached for a rope in front of him, and pulled himself up to a standing position. Rolf then turned around to face Kenny, who leapt up for a Hurricanrana. . .

. . .BUT ROLF CAUGHT KENNY IN TIME AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Rolf went for a quick cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 KENNY KICKED OUT!

"But with a perfectly timed counter, Rolf found an opening, and may have put himself into this match!" Early said, as Rolf pulled Kenny up by the coat and hit him in the face with a series of swift punches, then a back elbow smash right to the face, which sent Kenny reeling backwards. As Kenny stepped forward in a daze, Rolf draped his arm over his back. . .and took him down with a quick Snap Suplex! Rolf went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 KENNY KICKED OUT! Rolf punched the mat in frustration before pulling Kenny back up by the hood of his coat. . .until Kenny kicked him in the shin by surprise, then took him down with a neckbreaker! Kenny rolled onto his chest and slowly pushed himself up to his feet and ran against the ropes. . .somersaulted on the mat. . .and successfully landed Rolling Thunder onto Rolf's torso! Kenny then went for another cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 ROLF KICKED OUT! Kenny couldn't believe it!

"These two are going back and forth on each other, and even with Rolling Thunder, Rolf STILL won't go down!" Early said, while Rolf and Kenny slowly rolled up to their feet and met in the center of the ring, each of them trading right hands, with the crowd cheering "YAY!" in unison with Rolf's punches, and "BOO!" in unison with Kenny's punches. They continued trading right hands until Rolf managed to duck one punch, and knock Kenny back with a spinning wheel kick! Kenny bounced off the ropes behind him and stumbled toward Rolf. . .who took him down with a Jumping Tornado DDT! Rolf went for the cover, 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.99 KENNY KICKED OUT! Rolf rolled off Kenny, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to regain his bearings. . .while Eddy and Cartman each extended their hands out from their corners, begging for a tag!

"The two cruiserweights on these respective teams have beaten the hell out of each other just days before their Falls Count Anywhere match for the XCW Hardcore Championship at Heatwave!" Early said, "And now the Leader of D-Ed, and the South Park Enforcer are ready and waiting to make the last move, and gain momentum for their respective teams before this Sunday!"

"The rivalry these teams have for each other has bled into two divisions here in XCW!" supported Shake, while Eddy jumped up and down at his corner, practically begging for a tag! "And Eddy's just DYING to get his last word in before Ed and Double D do the fighting at Heatwave!"

Rolf and Kenny inched closer and closer toward their respective corners. . .

. . .extended their arms out. . .

. . .and successfully made the tags to Eddy and Cartman! Eddy and Cartman stepped into the ring from their respective corners and charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring, immediately trading right hands! Their brawl continued Cartman catching Eddy by surprise with a throat thrust, then a vicious clothesline that brought the D-Ed leader down! Cartman then pulled Eddy up by the hair. . .only for Eddy to surprise him with an elbow to the sternum before taking him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Eddy then stomped on Cartman's chest a few times and followed it up with a falling elbow before going for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 CARTMAN KICKED OUT! Eddy quickly pulled the South Park Enforcer up to his feet. . .only for Cartman to drive Eddy against the ropes with a tackle, then Irish whip him HARD across the ring. After Eddy bounced back, Cartman took him down with a massive back elbow that sent Eddy reeling. . .back into a belly-to-belly suplex! Cartman went for a quick cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 EDDY KICKED OUT! Cartman shouted an obscenity before pulling Eddy back up to his feet and shoved him into the corner, ramming him with vicious shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust before pulling him out of the corner in a Full Nelson hold. . .and slamming him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Cartman went for another cover, 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 EDDY KICKED OUT! Cartman sat up from the cover, grimacing in frustration.

"South Park's Big Boy's keeping Eddy from getting ANYTHING in!" Shake said. "But man, he looks angry!"

"He sure does, Shake!" agreed Early. "But he won't be satisfied until D-Ed's leader is incapacitated, and with his next move, he may flatten him like a pancake!"

Cartman stepped back up to his feet, running against the ropes behind him. . .

. . .leapt for the Big Boy Splash. . .

. . .BUT EDDY ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY, CAUSING CARTMAN TO HIT THE CANVAS!

"NO! Eddy still has signs of life!" Early called, as Cartman let out a scream of pain while Eddy pushed himself up to a standing position. Once up, Eddy grabbed Cartman by the chin and nailed him in the face with a right hand before Irish whipping him across the ring. . .and nailed him with an Inverted Atomic Drop! Cartman stumbled around the ring in a daze before reeling toward Eddy. . .

. . .who planted him with an AA Spinebuster! Eddy went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 CARTMAN KICKED OUT!

Eddy stood up from the cover with a confident smirk on his face as he came around to the front of Cartman, taunting him to get up while the South Park Enforcer staggered up to his feet. . .while Kenny stepped onto the ringside floor from his corner!

"Eddy's looking to put the final dagger into Eric Cartman, and give D-Ed one final burst of momentum before Heatwave!" Early said, as Eddy kicked Cartman into the midsection. . .

. . .while Kenny pulled Rolf off the ring apron and clocked him in the face with a right hand!

"Wait a minute! But Kenny McCormick is attacking Rolf with his back turned!" Shake shouted before Kenny shoved Rolf against the steps, grabbed him by the hair. . .and slammed him face-first into the ring post, prompting the referee to leave the ring and try to break up the fight!

Meanwhile, in the ring, Eddy rested Cartman's head between his legs for the Edigree. . .

. . .BUT CARTMAN SLIPPED OUT OF IT AND GAVE EDDY A LOW BLOW!

"NOOO!" Early shouted. "Cartman nailed him in the jewels while the referee had his back turned!"

"Well, Eddy's getting his final word in after all, Early!" Shake said. "And it's 'OWWWW!'"

While the referee managed to pull Kenny and Rolf apart on the ringside floor, Cartman then pulled Eddy back up by all three of his hairs, flipped him the bird. . .

. . .kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER!

"DAMN IT!" Early shouted, as the referee slid back into the ring while Cartman went for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"The South Park Four have stolen another one!" Early yelled after the bell rang!

"The winners of this match. . .the team of KENNY MCCORMICK AND ERIC CARTMAN!"

"The South Park Four just CAN'T play fair, not when it comes to D-Generation Ed!" Early said in disgust. "And with Tables, Ladders and Chairs on the horizon, I shudder to think about what these two stables are going to do to each other!"

The referee raised Cartman's chubby arm in victory, only for Cartman to snap his arm out of his grasp and shout "KENNY! THROW ME THE CHAIR!"

"I have a feeling that we're going to get a sneak preview, Early! Look!" Shake called while Kenny threw a steel chair into the ring above the ropes, with Cartman catching it as Kenny slid into the ring with a steel chair of his own!

"It does not look good for the D-Ed leader! Somebody stop this!" Early exclaimed, while Eddy staggered up to his knees.

"His partners-in-crime are training for the main event right now, Early!" Shake shouted. "They have no idea what's happening!"

Cartman and Kenny then raised their chairs high above their heads. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND WERE TAKEN DOWN BY A LADDER SHOT FROM ROLF!

"BUT RIGHT ON CUE COMES THE SON OF A SHEPHERD!" Early screamed as Rolf threw down the ladder and picked up a chair on the mat!

"Rolf slid into the ring from behind to make the save for his tag team partner!" Shake said, as Rolf raised the steel chair high. . .

. . .AND NAILED KENNY IN THE FACE WITH IT! Rolf then turned to face Cartman and nailed him in the ribs with the chair before dropping it. Rolf then put Cartman in a headlock and went for a Tornado DDT on the chair. . .

. . .BUT KENNY GRABBED ROLF FROM BEHIND AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A BACK STABBER!

"Rolf saved Eddy from certain doom, but got a Back Stabber from the XCW Hardcore Champion for his troubles!" Early said, while Cartman slowly regained his bearings…

. . .UNTIL EDDY KICKED CARTMAN IN THE MIDSECTION AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH AN EDIGREE ON THE STEEL CHAIR!

"AND EDDY FINALLY TAKES CARTMAN DOWN WITH THE EDIGREE!" Early screamed as Eddy ran toward Kenny. . .but Kenny slid out of the ring before he could get to him, pulling Cartman out with him by the feet!

"The South Park Four may have stolen yet another victory tonight, but Rolf made the save for the D-Ed Leader, and Eddy got the last word before Rolf takes on Kenny for the XCW Hardcore Championship in a Falls Count Anywhere match while Ed and Double D take on Cartman and Stan for the Tag Team titles this Sunday!"

Eddy helped Rolf up to his feet and glared down at Kenny and Cartman, who was still dazed, but with Kenny, glared back at them as they stepped up the ramp.

"You're absolutely right, Early! But it's going to be an all-out war as D-Generation Ed and the Mario Brothers look to take the XCW Tag Team Championship from the South Park Four in their Tables, Ladders and Chairs match at Heatwave!" Shake said.

"It will be one of seven wars in the extreme summer-themed pay-per-view at Liberty City, Shake!" Early added before the show went to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood next to Spongebob Squarepants with a microphone in hand.

"Spongebob Squarepants," Carl asked, "Tonight, you're involved in a huge six-man tag team match main event, but last week, at the XCW Summer Supershow, your old rival from UWE, Scorpion, answered your open challenge and defeated you. . .yet again. How do you feel about the events of last week, and-"

"Let me stop you right there, Carl." Spongebob said, with a scowl on his face. "Scorpion DIDN'T beat me. He didn't even come close to it, whatsoever. If it wasn't for Tommy Vercetti sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. . .in MY BUSINESS, I would've FINALLY defeated that damn Kombatant. But, Tommy. . .I know why you did it. I know why you cost me the victory against Scorpion, and I know why you killed WWT.

You did it all because. . .you're jealous of me. You're jealous of my success in this industry because you know you'll never achieve it. You won't win a Royal Rumble in your rookie year, you won't win a Superstar of the Year award, and you won't become a multiple-time World Heavyweight Champion, hell, you won't even SNIFF a World title belt, YOU WON'T EVEN WIN ANOTHER MATCH! And you definitely won't win your match against me this Sunday. You'll be calling yourself the Harwood Butcher, and the man who puts the X in XCW before our referee signals that our Street Fight has begun in front of the Algonquin Cluckin' Bell this Sunday, but when we've made it to the arena, and when your drinking buddies and former one night stands see you looking up at the lights in a bloody pulp at the center of a ring with barbed-wire ropes. . .the last thing you see before you drift into unconsciousness will be the face of the NEW extreme face of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling."

Spongebob shoved the microphone back against Carl's chest before storming off. Carl put the microphone up to his mouth. . .

. . .UNAWARE THAT GARFIELD HAD STORMED THROUGH THE DOORS BEHIND HIM!

"Coming up after the commercial break, you will hear—" Carl said,

. . .BEFORE GARFIELD GRABBED HIM BY THE HEAD AND SHOVED HIM AGAINST THE WALL NEXT TO HIM!

"OH MY GOD!" Early cried. "The Monster Garfield has arrived, and sure enough. . .HE'S ANGRY!"

Garfield then pulled Carl back up to his feet before grabbing him by the throat. . .

. . .AND CHOKESLAMMING HIM ON THE LINOLEUM FLOOR!

"GOOD GRIEF!" Shake shouted. "That's the second backstage announcer he's taken out in four months!"

Garfield went to stomp on Carl's prone body. . .until TEN security guards came into the interview area and held Garfield back. . .

. . .but to no avail, as Garfield threw three of them over his head, with two of them hitting the wall in front of him, while the third went through a snack machine! Yet more and more security guards filed into the room, each of them attempting to hold Garfield back while Jon Arbuckle stepped into the room, his eyes wide and mouth agape in disbelief!

"THERE YOU ARE, ARBUCKLE!" shouted a security guard. "DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR CAT!"

Arbuckle just watched as Garfield threw three more security guards onto the linoleum floor!

"I. . .I can't."

Garfield then stomped on one prone security guard on the floor while grabbing another one. . .

. . .AND CHOKESLAMMED HIM ONTO THE FLOOR! More security guards and even XCW WRESTLERS ran into the fight and began hitting Garfield with a flurry of punches. . .but Garfield shoved them all down! The Monster then looked forward. . .AT THE CAMERAMAN!

"OH MY GOD!" Early cried. "Garfield is LITERALLY OUT OF CONTROL!"

"TIEING WITH CHAOS THE HEDGEHOG LAST WEEK HAD A BIGGER EFFECT ON HIM THAN WE ALL THOUGHT! THERE'S NOTHING ARBUCKLE CAN DO!" Shake yelled as Garfield strode toward the cameraman, while he backed up to a corner in the room!

"Tai said earlier tonight that he's ready for Garfield. . ." Early said, as the cameraman slouched down, pointing the camera up at Garfield for mercy! ". . .but I don't know if he's ready for THIS!"

Garfield stared into the camera, seething and foaming at the mouth with anger at the audience. . .BEFORE GRABBING THE CAMERAMAN BY THE THROAT. . .LIFTING HIM UP. . .

. . .causing the cameraman to drop the camera, which broke on impact upon hitting the floor!

Static engulfed the image until the show abruptly went immediately to a commercial break.

Alrighty, there's part one for now. As always, let me know if something didn't make any sense, or if anyone was out of character. Part two will come soon, until then, please READ AND REVIEW!


	37. XCW Massacre: June Week 4 Part 2

Hey fans! Here's part two of the go-home episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre right before Heatwave! I only own my championships.

A commercial begins on a closeup shot of black dress shoes standing on a sidewalk.

"I'm a lean, mean, green machine!"

The camera tilts up the man's body, revealing his legs wearing yellow dress pants.

"Got a hyperactive mayhem gene!"

The camera continues tilting up to the man's torso, revealing a white dress shirt and black tie under a yellow suit jacket.

"XCW's ratings have gone down the tubes…"

The camera continues tilting up the man's body, revealing his neck. . .

"With a guy like me, they will not lose!"

. . .until it finally ends on the man's head, with a fancy yellow hat on top of a green latex head, revealing the man to be The Mask!

"XCW claims to be extreme?"

Footage plays of The Mask running down the entrance ramp with Ace Ventura.

"They'll be just that with me on the scene!"

Footage plays of The Mask dodging punches and countering grapple holds.

"Doesn't matter the match I'm in, I put on one hell of a show!"

Footage is shown of The Mask bludgeoning his opponents with various weapons, including an anvil, a plexiglass window, and his signature mallet!

"Who am I, do you really have to ask?"

The Mask gave a jobber The Smokin' End (The Mic Check)!

"When you see my face, you'll know. . ."

A title card appears on screen that says in green lettering: "THE MASK: COMING SOON TO XCW!"

". . .I AM. . .THE MASK!"

The Mask suddenly appeared in front of the title card, looking right into the camera with his trademark green face and yellow hat.

"SSSSSSMOKIN'!"

As the show returned from break, Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table looking stunned in disbelief.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, but Shake, after what just transpired, I'm afraid for my life."

"I am too, Early!" agreed Shake. "In case you're just joining us, Garfield finally arrived to the arena after Carl Brutanandilewski interviewed Spongebob Squarepants, and decimated not only Carl, but a multitude of the arena's security guards, and one of our cameramen!"

"Tai Kamiya appeared confident about Heatwave and even went so far as to say he was ready for Garfield tonight, but you have to wonder if he's expecting this!" Early said. All I can say is, if they do collide tonight, business will pick up to an unprecedented level!"

"You're absolutely right, Early! There could be another battle between those two rivals tonight, but this Sunday, it's going to be an all-out war as Tai Kamiya and Garfield look to knock each other out for the count with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship in their Last Man Standing match at Heatwave!" Shake said.

"It will be one of seven wars in the extreme summer-themed pay-per-view at Liberty City, Shake!" Early added. "But switching gears for the moment, ladies and gentlemen, earlier tonight, Tai Kamiya said a few words about Character Championship Wrestling, and Ben Tennyson. But what he didn't mention were recent developments following the XCW Summer Supershow. . .and joining us now live via satellite, for the first time ever, on XCW programming, to explain those developments and make an announcement about them, as well as the future of XCW, is the anonymous chairman. . .of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling."

Suddenly, the video on the Titantron cut to a closeup shot of a man covered in dark shadows sitting at a desk in an undisclosed location.

"Greetings, XCW fans and employees alike." The man said in a deep, distorted voice. "I am the founder, chairman and owner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. I prefer to keep my identity a secret, hence the distortion in my voice, and the darkness of my office. I make my television debut here tonight because I have news. . .and an announcement to deliver to each and every one of you."

"The news itself is quite disheartening. . .especially one week after what many have called the best Supershow of the year. But two of the companies that participated in the XCW Summer Supershow: Character Championship Wrestling and Ultimate Wrestling Entertainment. . .have been pulled from the Fanfiction Television Network."

The crowd booed loudly as the anonymous chairman finished the announcement.

"The network cancelled both CCW and UWE, for reasons that they have failed to explain. Now, both companies are fortunate to have found a new network in such a short amount of time, but with the network acting as it is toward the fiction wrestling business, now comes the question. . .what does this mean for Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling? This means that while XCW will be staying on the Fanfiction Television Network. . .but after Heatwave. . .it will be simulcast at the same time. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .on A03."

The crowd gasped from surprise but cheered upon hearing the news.

"AO3 is the new home of UWE and CCW, and we are going to join them on that network, because as you all saw last week, they are more than just our competition. . .they're our allies, and like any army, allies stick together no matter the obstacle.

BUT. . .since we're apparently still on the Fanfiction Television Network this week, allow me to personally thank you all who are in Sunnydale right now watching XCW Monday Night Massacre live, and thank the millions of fans watching at home around the fictionverse. You HAVE to be a fan of fiction wrestling to watch this show, because only God knows that the Fanfiction Television Network hasn't put out a single commercial or press release to let you know that we, Animated, UCA, and all the other companies are still here, but that's their scheme of things.

And allow me to be even MORE frank about this issue, ladies and gentlemen, by giving you the full truth. XCW HATES this network. We hate this network for betraying fiction wrestling, we hate this network for not welcoming us after twelve years of service, and we hate their guts for not having the common decency to tell us if we're breaking a rule. Well, mark my words. . .until our deal expires at the end of Animania I in December. . .XCW is going to STAY on this network, and go about our business as we have been, until you throw XCW off the air!

The anonymous chairman leaned forward, his shadow-covered face looking right into the lens of the camera.

"Fanfiction Television Network. . ." he bellowed, "You may have won the battle with UWE and CCW. . .but I assure you, network. . .that THE WAR. . .

. . .

. . .has only JUST BEGUN."

The anonymous chairman stared menacingly into the camera until the show faded out for a commercial break.

As the show returned from break, Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table while the audience was still in excited shock from the chairman's announcement!

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're back live on Monday Night Massacre in Sunnydale, and Shake, I'm just as shocked as these people are over what we just heard from our anonymous chairman!"

"I am too, Early!" Shake said in agreement. "The anonymous chairman ripped this network a new one, and announced that we will be simulcast on both Fanfiction TV AND AO3!"

"And we will be joining our good friends, Ultimate Wrestling Entertainment, Character Championship Wrestling, Universal Character Association, and a new company, WND: Wrestling Next Door on AO3 right after Heatwave!" Early added. "But right now, it is time for intergender tag team action!"

The show cut back to the ring, where Plankton stood in the center of it with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is an intergender tag team match scheduled for one fall!"

"Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi and Peach ran onto the stage and down the ramp to a mixed reaction from the crowd, both of them raising their hands in a peace sign towards the ring.

"Introducing first. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .the team of PEACH TOADSTOOL AND LUIGI!"

"Last week, Peach only made a brief appearance on the XCW Summer Supershow, but two weeks ago on Monday Night Massacre, she not only attacked the XCW Women's Champion, Sora Takenouchi, after winning the number one contendership for said title in a one-on-one match against Nazz, but she laid her out with a steel chair, and made their Women's Championship match at Heatwave a Hardcore match!"

Luigi and Peach entered the ring and climbed on opposite turnbuckles. Peach blew a kiss to the commentators while Luigi raised a peace sign high above his head.

"Peach has been obsessed with regaining the XCW Women's Championship since losing it at Nightfire, and she's looking to do anything and everything to regain it, even if it means beating Sora Takenouchi until Tai won't be able to recognize her!"

"What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage!

"And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!"

"Speaking of unrecognizable, Bugs Bunny could've looked unrecognizable two weeks ago, after he got a faceful of Hotsuma's spiked knuckles at the end of a Pick Your Poison match!"

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

"He sure could've, Early!" Shake said in agreement. "But the Animation Icon wouldn't live that down, and last week at the XCW Summer Supershow, told the Leader of the Oboro Clan that he isn't a true player in this industry until he wins fair and square! And when Bugs and Hotsuma face off at Heatwave, the only way to win fair and square is to put your opponent through a table!"

"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine played as Sora Takenouchi ran onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, raising the XCW Women's title belt above her head.

"And his tag team partner. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .she is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"

"Meanwhile, in the Hardcore match for the XCW Women's Championship this Sunday at Heatwave, you can win by pinfall or submission." Early informed. "But with the hate that these two women have for each other, coupled with Peach's obsession with the Women's title, and Sora's determination to keep it around her waist, I have a feeling that those two women are going to want to knock each other out for the count!"

Sora took the Women's title belt off her waist, raising it above her head after high-fiving fans as she ran down the ramp.

"And let's not forget the experiences these women have in Hardcore matches!" Shake added. "Sora is 10-3 in matches of the hardcore variety, one of those wins being the Falls Count Anywhere match against Misty that served as the main event for a late-90s episode of Monday Night Raw! On the other side, Peach had a long, heated rivalry with Kitana in UCA, which culminated in a No Holds Barred match in 1999, and even a Steel Cage match in 2000! But Sora's a different beast of a wrestler now, and Peach has the uncontrollable urge to tear Sora limb from limb!"

"They face off at Heatwave with no rules, disqualifications, or holds barred. . ." Early said, as Sora slid into the ring under the bottom rope. . .

. . .and was immediately met by a series of stomps from Peach!

". . .but like a vulture, Peach is all over the Women's Champion before this match has even begun!" Early called as Peach continued stomping a mudhole on the XCW Women's Champion until Luigi drug Peach back to their corner, while Bugs helped Sora up to her feet and walked her toward theirs, as the bell rang and the match began with Bugs facing off against Luigi.

Bugs and Luigi paced around the ring, both of them engaged in a staredown until they met in a tie-up at the center of the ring. Luigi put Bugs in a waist-lock only for Bugs to counter out of that with an elbow to the face, then put Luigi in a headlock and took him down to the mat with a side headlock takedown! Bugs then wrenched onto Luigi's neck before landing a falling fist to Luigi's face! Bugs quickly went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out! Bugs then pulled Luigi up to his feet by the overalls and hit him in the chest with a swift chop! Bugs continued to hit Luigi's torso with chop after chop until he was backed into a corner! The Animation Icon then Irish whipped Luigi across the ring into the opposing corner, then charged after him before successfully taking him down with a corner dropkick! Bugs went for the cover 1. . 2. . .Luigi kicked out!

Bugs pulled Luigi up by the overalls again. . .only for Luigi to slug Bugs in the face with a right hand! Luigi then landed a series of his own chops to Bugs's sternum until he was backed against the ropes. Luigi then Irish whipped Bugs across the ring, and on the bounceback, took him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Luigi went for a cover 1. . .2. . Bugs kicked out! Luigi grabbed Bugs by the ears and nailed him in the chest with a throat thrust before picking him up. . .and taking him back down with a Gutwrench Powerbomb! Luigi went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!

"Both of these men have huge matches in six days, and are showing no signs of letting up against each other right now!" Early commented as Luigi Irish whipped Bugs into his corner and stomped a mudhole into his body until he fell into a seated position, until. . .

"Me! Me! My turn!" Peach shouted to her husband's brother before glaring at Sora in the opposing corner. Luigi reluctantly tagged Peach in to an eruption of boos from the crowd!

"And here comes Peach, but now she and Luigi HAVE to allow Bugs to tag Sora in, or risk being disqualified!" Early informed as Luigi pulled Bugs up, and along with Peach, Irish whipped him hard into his corner. . .but Bugs caught the ropes before making impact and tagged in the XCW Women's Champion! Sora ran into the ring, and Peach charged toward her, with the two meeting in the center of the ring in a tie-up! Sora put Peach in a front-face lock. . .but Peach drove Sora backward, with Sora breaking the hold upon hitting the ropes. Peach then Irish whipped Sora across the ring, and on the bounceback, went for a kick to the midsection, but Sora managed to catch Peach's foot and take her down with a Dragon Screw! Now in a standing position, Sora grabbed Peach's arm and set it so the palm of her right hand was pressed against the mat, her elbow sticking straight up in the air. . .until Sora stomped HARD onto the elbow, causing Peach to scream in agonizing pain!

"Sora Takenouchi is picking her opponent apart just days before her Hardcore match in Liberty City!" Early said.

"She's picking her apart and then some, Early!" added Shake, as Sora pulled Peach up to her feet with a wrist-lock applied, and Irish whipped her across the ring after wrenching onto her right arm. As Peach bounced back, Sora bent down for a back body drop. . .but Peach skidded to a stop in front of her and slapped her hard across the face with a left hand before nailing her with a three-punch combination with her right hand, then followed up with an uppercut that put Sora in a bit of a daze. Peach then kicked Sora in the midsection before taking her down with a neckbreaker! Peach went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

Peach pulled Sora up by the hair and nailed her with another right hand before Irish whipping her into a corner, then following up with a corner splash! Peach then hammered onto Sora's body with a series of kicks to the chest! Peach then pulled Sora back out of the corner and went for a clothesline. . .but Sora blocked it and put Peach in a tie-up, then maneuvered to her back and put her in a front-face lock before taking her down with a hip toss! Sora then put Peach in a headlock and pulled her back up to a standing position before taking her back down with a Suplex! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out!

"These two women meet in a match under Hardcore rules at Heatwave, but tonight they're putting on another solid fight in this intergender tag team matchup!" Early said, as Sora pulled Peach up to her feet. . .only for the Mushroom Kingdom Princess to poke her in the eye! With Sora temporarily disengaged, Peach struck her right in the temple with a fierce elbow smash, then caught her in a waist-lock and took her down with a belly-to-back side slam! Peach then stood up and hit Sora right in the ribs with a series of swift kicks before running against the ropes behind her. . .and baseball sliding right into Sora's body! Peach went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

Peach rose up from the cover, grimacing in annoyance as she pulled Sora up by the hair and took her down with an Arm Drag! Sora rose up to her feet. . .only for Peach to hit her with a dropkick that sent her falling down to the ringside floor! Peach then stepped over the second rope and down to the ringside floor, pulling Sora up by the hair again as the referee began the ten-count. Peach hit Sora with an elbow to the back of the head before Irish whipping her toward the steel steps. . .only for Sora to counter it with an Irish whip of her own, with the Mushroom Kingdom Princess running into them with a sickening thud!

"OOOOH!" Shake cringed. "Peach better not have forgotten that Sora's just as dangerous outside the ring as she is!"

Sora then pulled Peach up by the hair, and raised her head above the ring apron. . .but Peach gripped the bottom rope and back kicked Sora in the shin as the referee's count reached four, right before her face could make impact with the apron! As Sora sold her leg in pain, Peach put Sora in a headlock. . .and took her down with a Russian Leg Sweep on the ringside floor! Peach then pulled Sora back up and rolled her into the ring under the bottom rope, and followed suit just as the ten-count reached six! Peach quickly crawled in for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SORA KICKED OUT! Peach rose to her knees from the cover, incensed with anger!

"Peach did all she could do to Sora outside the ring under the rules of a standard match!" Early said. "But she only wants to do MORE!"

Seething with anger through her teeth, Peach gripped Sora by the hair once more before putting her into another headlock. . .but Sora hit Peach with hard elbows to the gut! Sora kept ramming her arm into Peach's abdomen. . .and on the third elbow, successfully broke free from the hold! With Peach surprised at the moment, Sora capitalized with a series of chops, then took her down with a quick DDT! Not satisfied yet, Sora threw Peach toward the ropes in front of her before running against the ropes behind her! Peach and Sora ran toward each other on the bounceback. . .

. . .

. . .AND SORA TOOK PEACH DOWN WITH A RUNNING SOMERSAULT NECKBREAKER!

"SORA SURPRISING HER XCW RIVAL WITH A NEW MOVE IN HER ARSENAL!" Early called as Sora crawled on top of Peach for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 PEACH KICKED OUT! Sora rolled off Peach, catching her breath as she and Peach were down in the center of the ring, with both Bugs and Luigi extending their arms out for the cover!

"These two women have given their all against each other, as they always have since their rivalry began six months ago!" Early called.

"But now they're looking to make a tag! For their sake, let's hope they even MAKE it to Heatwave!" Shake quipped as Sora rolled onto her chest, slowly but surely regaining her bearings while Peach crawled closer to Luigi! Both Sora and Peach inched even closer to their respective corners. . .

. . .extended their arms out. . .

. . . .and successfully made the tags into Bugs and Luigi! Bugs and Luigi charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring, with Bugs taking down the Other Mario brother with a clothesline! Luigi rolled up to his feet, only for Bugs to take him down with another clothesline! Luigi staggered up to his feet, only for Bugs to lift him up. . .and take him back down once more with a snap suplex! Bugs went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 LUIGI KICKED OUT!

"Bugs had a brief rivalry with the Mario brothers when XCW began. . ." Early informed, ". . .and Luigi is proving to be as resilient as he was back then!"

Bugs pulled Luigi up to his feet by the overalls, only for Luigi to surprise him with an uppercut that knocked him back toward the ropes. As Bugs recollected himself against the ropes, Luigi ran toward a nearby corner, leapt up to the top rope, and took Bugs down with a Missile Dropkick! Luigi then pulled the Animation Icon back into the center of the ring for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 BUGS KICKED OUT! Luigi couldn't believe it!

"But the wily veteran has never been easy to put away!" Shake called, as Luigi sat up from the corner, and stalked his opponent, taunting for him to stand up! Bugs slowly but surely staggered up to his feet and turned around, and immediately received a kick to the midsection from Luigi! Luigi then lifted Bugs up. . .and took him down with a suplex! But Luigi kept his grip on the Animation Icon, pulling him back up and lifting him high above the mat. . .and taking him down with ANOTHER suplex! Luigi STILL kept his hold on Bugs, and lifted him up for one final suplex. . .

. . .

. . .but Bugs squirmed and fought out of it, successfully landing on his feet behind the Other Mario Brother! Luigi spun around to face Bugs. . .

. . .AND GOT A KARATE KICK FOR HIS TROUBLES!

"AND THE ANIMATION ICON CONNECTS WITH THE KARATE KICK!" Early exclaimed before Bugs went for a cover. . .

. . .BUT PEACH DISTRACTED THE REFEREE!

"Wait a minute!" Early shouted. "Peach has got the referee distracted!"

Bugs stood up from the corner, striding toward the referee, trying to get his attention. . .but Peach began yelling in HIS face. . .

. . .while Luigi staggered up to his feet!

"Bugs may have won the match for him and his ally's wife, but Peach will do anything to get to Sora!" Shake said, as Peach flashed a sly glare toward Sora! The XCW Women's Champion growled under her breath in anger before stepping down to the ringside floor while Bugs kept trying to break up the argument between Peach and the referee. . .

. . .UNTIL LUIGI TOOK HIM DOWN WITH AN ATOMIC DROP!

"AND THANKS TO PEACH, THE OTHER MARIO BROTHER'S BACK INTO THIS THING!" Early shouted, as Bugs stumbled forward, until Luigi turned him around. . .kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE GORY BOB-OMB!

"NOOOO!" Early yelled. "Luigi planted him with the Gory Bob-Omb!"

Luigi turned Bugs onto his back and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 BUGS SOMEHOW KICKED OUT! Luigi sat up from the cover in disbelief!

"HOW IN THE HELL DID BUGS KICK OUT?" Shake wondered, completely incredulous!

"Luigi wants the answer to that question as well, Shake!" Early answered, as Peach looked on from her corner, screaming "NOOOO! NOOO!" in anger. . .

. . .UNTIL SORA GRABBED HER BY THE LEG AND PULLED HER BACK DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!

"BUT SORA'S GETTING BACK AT PEACH FOR NOT PLAYING FAIR!" Early shouted unintelligibly as Sora hit Peach with a three-punch combination while Luigi strode toward a corner and climbed up to the top rope!

"Meanwhile, Luigi's about to drive the knife into Bugs's hopes of gaining momentum before his Tables match with Hotsuma this Sunday!" Shake said, as Luigi dove off the top rope. . .

. . .RIGHT INTO A SPINNING WHEEL KICK FROM BUGS!

"NO, WAIT! BUGS CAUGHT HIM AT THE LAST SECOND!" Early yelled as Luigi crumbled to the mat! Luigi clenched his midsection, yelling in pain as he slowly stumbled up to his knees. . .

. . .and Bugs kicked him in the midsection. . .lifted him high above the mat. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM WITH THE BUNNY BOMB!

"AND THE BUNNY BOMB CONNECTS!" Early called, while Sora and Peach kept brawling at ringside as Bugs went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And Bugs Bunny gets the victory for himself and the Women's Champion!" Early exclaimed, as Bugs rolled off of the cover after the bell rang!

"Here are your winners. . .the team of Sora Takenouchi. . .and Bugs Bunny!"

"Despite Peach trying to steal the victory out of spite for the XCW Women's Champion, Bugs Bunny prevailed, and now has gained some much needed momentum leading into Heatwave!" Early said, as the referee quickly raised Bugs's arm in victory before striding over to the ringside area!

"Meanwhile, it's up to Mario to swing the TLC momentum for him and his brother back in their favor later tonight in the six-man tag team main event," Shake said, "…and it's up to the referee to keep Sora and Peach from clawing each other's faces off!"

The referee stood in between Sora and Peach, who had slid into the ring and began trading punches until Peach surprised Sora with a knee to the chest, then took her down with a drop toe hold, sending Sora's head right onto the second rope!

"With the match now over, Peach wants to do whatever she can to render Sora immobile, even WITH Heatwave on the horizon!" Early said, as Sora coughed and gasped for air while Peach rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope. . .and grabbed the XCW Women's title belt from ringside!

"Wait a minute! Peach has got the belt!" Early called, before Peach looked at the belt as she stepped into the ring and said "Together again at last. . ." with a sadistic smirk!

"Uhhh. . .Early? I think Peach has lost it. . ." Shake foreboded, as Peach rolled into the ring, hugging the belt. . .

. . .BEFORE NAILING THE REFEREE SQUARE IN THE FACE WITH IT!

"YOU'RE PRETTY RIGHT ABOUT THAT, SHAKE!" Early shouted as Peach charged toward Sora with her own belt cocked back behind her head. . .

. . .BUT SORA DUCKED THE BELT SHOT AND TOOK PEACH DOWN WITH A SPEAR, THEN HAMMERED AWAY AT HER FACE WITH FURIOUS RIGHT HANDS!

"…BUT SORA'S NOT BACKING DOWN!" Early exclaimed, as Peach rolled Sora onto her back and began slapping and clawing at her face with both hands!

"These two bitter rivals have met time and time again for the past six months, and tonight, the tensions between them have reached record levels!" Early said, as Sora rolled Peach onto her back and slugged her with a hard right hand before pulling her up by the hair!

"They've escalated into another catfight, Early!" Shake added before Sora shoved Peach toward the ropes. . .

. . .AND TOOK HER DOWN WITH A SORACANRANA ON THE BOUNCEBACK!

"And Sora Takenouchi just let Peach know that she doesn't have the Women's Championship just yet!" Early said, as Sora picked up the belt and left the ring over the second rope!

"But Peach let Sora know just how far she was willing to go for it!" Shake said, as Peach pulled herself up, wiping her mouth with her hand before staring down Sora with a malicious glare, while Sora matched it as she walked backwards up the ramp with Bugs, raising the Women's title belt above her head!

"And with their match at Heatwave having a Hardcore stipulation, I have a feeling that these two bitter rivals are going to go farther than any of us can even think of!" Early predicted.

"You're probably right, Early!" agreed Shake. "I can't wait for the last catfight between these two!"

Sora and Peach continued glaring at each other with angry stares until the show went to a parking lot in the backstage area, where Arthur strode toward a taxi pulling a bag of luggage behind him.

"Excuse me, Arthur Read?" Haruko Haruhara called behind him, with Arthur stopping right behind the taxi and stuffing his suitcase in the open trunk before turning around to face her.

"Arthur," Haruko said, with a microphone in hand, "If you don't mind me asking. . .why are you leaving? The main event is coming up next! I hope Claude's beatdown of Johnny Bravo didn't scare you out of the building."

"Me? Scared?" Arthur asked, completely incredulous before shutting the trunk of the cab. "I'm not the kind to get scared! I'm just. . .that much more eager to fly out to Liberty City and adapt to its atmosphere! That's what any role model like myself would do before a match of the scale and caliber of my First Blood match! Another thing that a role model would do is exactly what I did last week. Claude didn't deserve to hold two belts from two companies at once because he is and always will be a thug! A violent thug! A terrible, horrible, no-good, two-bit thug! After rejecting our offers, putting us down on live television, and disgracing this business as a whole with his gruesome presence and fighting style, the Rookie Revolution and I had to take matters into our own hands! But this Sunday. . .for the first time in my life, there will be blood on my hands. . .but it will belong to the soon-to-be FORMER XCW World Television Champion, because whether Claude likes it or not. . .the Revolution. . .will be televised!"

Arthur flashed a sly smile before getting into the back of the taxi, which sped away until the show went to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Claude Speed was stuffing a duffel bag full of his clothes, video games, and weapons while Haruko Haruhara stepped into the room with a microphone in hand.

"Hey, Claude Speed?" asked Haruko. "This is interviewer-in-training Haruko Haruhara-"

Haruko was suddenly cut off when Claude ripped the microphone out of her hands!

"Let me guess. . .you want to get my last words about the First Blood match against Arthur? Well, I have more than just that….I'll tell you not only what you're going to see. . .but what Arthur's going to see. This Sunday, before our fight, Arthur will see one pissed off man standing across from him, and twenty five hundred of the most sickening, twisted wrestling fans in the world, screaming for blood, screaming for violence. . .

. . .he'll see all that. . .and . . .when all is said and done. . .when Arthur's lying in the center of the ring, looking up at the lights. . .he'll see me standing above him as the XCW World Television Champion. . .smell nothing but the piss and shit running down his legs. . .feel the worst aches and pains all over his body. . .taste his own blood as it drips down his forehead, into his mouth. . .and he'll finally realize that the "First PBS Kid" has become the LAST PBS Kid. . .when he realizes that the crowd is still chanting the same four words they chanted since the match began. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .'CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU.'"

Claude angrily stared into the camera until the show went back to the ringside area, where Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table.

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, and Shake. . .I hope Arthur left early to make his funeral arrangements."

"Aw come on, Early!" dismissed Shake. "Claude's unreasonably bitter! His anger will come back to haunt him, and Arthur will exploit it on his way to becoming the new XCW World Television Champion!"

"We'll certainly see about that this Sunday at Heatwave in Liberty City, and a lot of other things in this summer-themed pay-per-view, where every match will have an extreme situation!" Early said. "At this time, let's take a look at what we're in store for in "The City Where Lunatics Prosper!"

"Let's do it!" Shake said with excitement.

"Kenny McCormick will put the XCW Hardcore Championship on the line against "The Son of A Shepherd" Rolf in a Falls Count Anywhere match!" Early informed.

"These two men have been the biggest players in the XCW Hardcore title picture ever since the South Park Four's rivalry with D-Generation Ed bled into the Hardcore title scene. . .will Kenny survive Heatwave with the XCW Hardcore Championship, or will it have changed hands for the nineteenth time in two weeks?"

"We also have "The Animation Icon" Bugs Bunny facing off against Hotsuma in a Tables match!" Early added.

"Bugs Bunny wants Hotsuma to prove himself. . .but The Animation Icon is a wily veteran. But while the Oboro Clan Leader has a set of spiked knuckles, who knows what tricks Bugs will use to put him through a table?"

"Claude Speed puts the XCW Television Championship of the World on the line in a First Blood match against the "First PBS Kid", Arthur Read!" Early said.

"Arthur Read cost Claude Speed the Toon Hardcore Championship two weeks ago, and Claude wants nothing more than to give Liberty City's Red Light District a fresh coat of paint! But Arthur has bigger things in mind!"

"And the XCW Women's Championship will be defended in a Hardcore match when Sora Takenouchi takes on Princess Peach Toadstool!" added Early.

"These two women have been going at it since XCW began six months ago!" Shake said. "And the tensions between those two women look to boil over once their match officially begins!"

"XCW Heatwave will also feature XCW's first-ever Tables, Ladders and Chairs match, where Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman's Tag Team Championship belts will be hung twenty feet above the ring for them, Ed and Double D, and the Mario Brothers to retrieve!"

"The TLC match at Wrestlemania has been dubbed, "The Most Violent Match in WWE History. . ." Shake foreboded, "But with the rivalries these three prolific teams have for each other, I expect bodies to fly and bones to break!"

"And the hate Tommy Vercetti and Spongebob Squarepants have for each other will make its way from the Liberty City suburb of Algonquin, all the way to the XCW Arena in Broker, in a Liberty City Street Fight!"

"Tommy and Spongebob will fight all the way to the arena, then make their way to the ring, where the ropes will be replaced by barbed wire. . .Spongebob blamed Tommy for the demise of WWT, and ridiculed him earlier tonight, I have a feeling Tommy will have a LOT to prove wrong to the 'Showstoppin' Sponge' in his old stomping grounds!

"And finally, Tai Kamiya and Garfield look to settle their score in a Last Man Standing match, with Tai's XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line!" finished Early.

"Tai said that the resurrection of his career won't be complete without a victory at Heatwave, while Garfield's quest for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship won't end until Tai is rendered motionless! A man and a monster will walk into the ring. . .but when it's all said and done, only one will be the Last Man Standing, and the XCW World Heavyweight Champion."

"XCW Heatwave is brought to you by Cluckin' Bell: Suffering Never Tasted So Good! Only on pay-per-view!" Early exclaimed.

"I can hardly wait, Early-" Shake said, until. . .

. . ."Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band played!

". . .but right now, it is time for our main event!" Shake finished, before Mario stepped onto the stage and posed to a mixed reaction after pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song!

"The following contest is a six-man tag team match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event of the evening! Introducing first. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the "Champion of Life". . .MARIO!"

"Earlier tonight, Mario's brother, Luigi, was on the receiving end of a pinfall loss to Bugs Bunny in an intergender tag team match, so right now, the Champion of Life would like nothing more than to bring more momentum to his team, AND his name just six days before Heatwave!"

Mario ran down the ramp, raising a hand in a peace sign high before he slid into the ring, stood in the center of it, raising the peace sign above his head to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

"Oh, please. . .with Mario being the Champion of Life that he is, he doesn't need to worry about momentum!" Shake said. "With the rivalry between the South Park Four and D-Generation Ed getting as heated as it is, look for Mario and Luigi to let those two teams beat the hell out of each other, then sneak away with the victory, and leave Liberty City as the XCW Tag Team Champions!"

"I wish I could agree with you Shake." Early retorted. "Mario can try to sneak away with a victory, but in the environment created by a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match, there will be too much carnage, destruction and violence for there to be any running or hiding! And he certainly won't be able to run from D-Ed when he stands across the ring from them here tonight!"

"Red Lottery" by Megasus played as the arena became engulfed in red light.

"And his tag team partner. . .from Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!"

The crowd booed at Hotsuma as he walked onto the stage and down the ramp, looking at nothing but the ring.

"This man hasn't been featured very prominently on XCW Monday Night Massacre ever since appearing in the first-ever match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, but he has, or he at least believes he made his presence felt in this company after defeating the Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny, in a one-on-one matchup two weeks ago on Monday Night Massacre!"

Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stood on the middle rope in a corner, glaring at the fans.

"Yeah, but he couldn't win without using a set of spiked knuckles!" Shake said. "Hotsuma's tried everything to find his niche in XCW, from fighting in the March Majesty tournament, to even joining the Rookie Revolution. . .only to get kicked out! So now, the only way Hotsuma can make any kind of presence felt not only in XCW, but in this business as a whole, is by putting Bugs through a table in his tables match against the Animation Icon at Heatwave!"

The arena became engulfed in blue light as "Sell Your Soul" by Hollywood Undead played. Spongebob stepped onto the stage glaring at the fans as he walked down the ramp to massive boos from the crowd.

"And their tag team partner. . .from Bikini Bottom. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

"This man hasn't been in XCW for an entire month, and he's already made an impact, in addition to pissing off almost every single XCW fan!" Early said. "Over the past month, Spongebob has blamed one of the faces of this company, Tommy Vercetti, for the brief demise of WWT, knocked him out cold, cost him a much-needed victory against Thomas Ambrose last week at the XCW Summer Supershow, and earlier tonight, made everything between the two of them that much more personal when he said that Tommy killed WWT because he knows that he'll NEVER win another match, let alone a World title!"

Spongebob stepped into the ring above the second rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, glaring at the fans maliciously.

"He threatened to not only embarrass Tommy, but beat him to a bloody pulp in front of all his old friends in Liberty City!" added Shake. "But I don't doubt that he will, because ever since his debut here in XCW, he's shown a more aggressive and extreme style of fighting, specifically when he knocked the Harwood Butcher out at XCW Nightfire, and last week at the XCW Summer Supershow, when he attacked Tommy from behind, and set a table on fire, prompting "UWE's Worst Nightmare" to drive him through the flaming table with a Death Driver from the top rope! With Tommy's reputation, and knowledge of Liberty City, as well as Spongebob's new aggressive method of wrestling, their Liberty City Street Fight is going to be nothing short of barbaric, bloody, and brutal."

Spongebob stepped off the turnbuckle and continued glaring around at the fans until the following words came from the titantron. . .

. . ."ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Ed and Edd jumped onto the stage from below it! Raising their hands above their heads, Ed and Edd strode down the ramp.

"And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .Ed and Edd. . .D-GENERATION-ED!"

Ed and Edd slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, both of them making the word 'ED' with their hands above their heads toward the fans.

"But if you want to talk about a barbaric, bloody, and brutal match, look no further than this Sunday's Tag Team Championship match!" Early said. "We've mentioned the three-way Tables, Ladders and Chairs match more than one on this program here tonight, but we're not kidding when we say that it's going to be nothing short of chaotic! And if there's one thing D-Generation Ed knows about, it's creating chaos!"

They met in the center of the ring and did the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

"You got that right!" Shake agreed. "And tonight will be their first look at one of their opponents in that match, Mario! Who knows what kind of chaos will come out of the first encounter between one of these degenerates and "The Champion of Life"?

Ed and Edd stared across the ring at Mario until. . .

. . ."This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played, as Tai runs down the stage to cheers from the crowd, focusing only on the ring.

"And their tag team partner. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .TAI KAMIYA!"

"Earlier tonight, Tai Kamiya said that not only would he love to fight Ben Tennyson again, but also that the resurrection of his career won't be complete until he defeats the monster Garfield this Sunday in their Last Man Standing Match with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line!"

The crowd cheered as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles, raising the World Heavyweight title belt toward the fans.

"And now, that will be easier said than done!" Shake said. "Because Garfield's going on a full-scale rampage over the fact that he didn't defeat Chaos The Hedgehog last week at the XCW Summer Supershow! Couple that with the fact that he kept the God of Destruction from winning as well. . .and Tai's has one dangerous rival to put down this Sunday at Heatwave!"

Tai stepped off the turnbuckle and onto the ring apron as the bell rang and the match began with Edd facing off against Hotsuma. Hotsuma and Edd charged toward each other, the two of them meeting in the center of the ring for a tie-up, which Hotsuma quickly turned into a wrist-lock. Hotsuma wrenched on Double D's arm before nailing it with a swift elbow, then Irish whipped Double D across the ring. Double D bounced back. . .right into a massive elbow smash from the former Oboro Clan Leader! Knocked backward by the hit, Double D sold his jaw in pain, until Hotsuma came up from behind Double D and took him down with a Gutbuster! Hotsuma went for a quick cover 1. . .2. . .Double D kicked out!

Hotsuma pulled Double D up by the sock on his head, then slapped him in the chest with a vicious chop, causing Double D to clench his chest in pain. Hotsuma nailed him in the chest with chop after chop until he was backed up against the ropes, then Hotsuma slapped Double D with a swift right hand that sent him down to one knee. Hotsuma then pulled Double D back up and Irish whipped him hard into a corner. Hotsuma immediately ran toward him. . .but Double D spun out of the way, causing Hotsuma to hit the corner face-first! Double D then caught Hotsuma, who was in a daze. . .and sent him flying with a Monkey Flip! Double D then ran toward the Oboro Clan Leader and landed a Leg Drop onto his chest before going for a cover 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma powered out!

"Double D found an opening with his quickness, but Hotsuma won't go down that easy!" Early said, as Hotsuma rose to his feet, only for Double D to put him in a headlock. . .but Hotsuma drove him right into his corner! Hotsuma quickly tagged in Spongebob, who entered the ring to a chorus of boos while Hotsuma hit Double D with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until he faltered down to a seated position in the corner! Hotsuma began to stomp a mudhole into Double D's body until the referee strode to his side and began the five count, with Hotsuma finally letting up and stepping over the ropes near his corner. Spongebob then pulled Double D back up to a standing position and Irish whipped him into his corner, with Double D hitting it with big impact! Spongebob charged toward the Sockhead, only to be met with a quick kick, buying him time to tag in Ed! Ed stepped over all three ropes and charged toward Spongebob before taking him down with a huge clothesline! Ed went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Spongebob kicked out!

"The last two FWA Superstars of the Year are currently duking it out now for the first time in an XCW ring right here in this main-event matchup!" Early said, as the Monobrowed Monster pulled Spongebob up, only to receive a fist to the face for his troubles! Spongebob fired another right hand at Ed's face, but Ed caught it in time and surprised the Showstoppin' Sponge with a headbutt. . .then lifted him on his shoulders for a fireman's carry. . .only for Spongebob to drop out of it, catch Ed in a waist-lock and take him down with a German suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Ed kicked out! Ed rolled up to his feet as Spongebob stepped toward him. . .and took him down with a belly-to-belly side slam! Ed then stomped onto Spongebob's chest a few times before running against the ropes and leaping up for a falling headbutt. . .but Spongebob rolled out of the way, causing Ed to hit the canvas! Ed screamed in pain while clenching his head as Spongebob stood over him, pulling him up by the shirt and slapping him right across the face with a vicious slap, to massive boos from the crowd, before taking him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Spongebob went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ed kicked out!

"Spongebob can disrespect Ed and beat him senseless all he wants, but the Monobrowed Monster of D-Generation Ed still won't go down!" Early said, as Ed abruptly sat up before Spongebob could land a running stomp to his head! Ed rolled up to his feet and shoved Spongebob with authority against the ropes behind him, then took him down with a back body drop! As Spongebob pushed himself up to his feet, Ed charged toward him and went for a lariat, but Spongebob ducked under it, then raked his back before lifting him into a Fireman's Carry position, going for the Tidal Wave. . .but Ed dropped out of it in front of Spongebob and took him down with a Jawbreaker! Ed went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 Spongebob kicked out!

"These two men are giving their all against each other!" Shake said. "Who will gain the upper hand?"

Ed pulled Spongebob up to his feet. . .only for Spongebob to surprise him with an eye rake. . .then take him down with an inverted DDT! Spongebob went for one more cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ED KICKED OUT! Spongebob punched the mat in frustration before standing up to his feet. . .

. . .but Ed took him down with a Drop Toe Hold! With his grip still on Spongebob's foot, Ed lifted it off the ground. . .and slammed it back down with a Knee Smash! Ed then grabbed Spongebob's other leg. . .positioned himself behind his corner. . .

. . .AND CATAPULTED SPONGEBOB TOWARD HIS CORNER!

. . .but Spongebob landed right onto the middle rope before his face could make impact, and immediately tagged in Mario! Mario sprinted toward Ed, who was running toward Spongebob in the corner, but Mario took him down with a clothesline!

"And Mario gets his first look at D-Generation Ed, just six days before TLC at Heatwave!" Early called, as Mario pulled Ed up to his feet and slapped him in the chest with three chops, then Irish whipped him across the ring. . .only to get kicked in the head with a big boot from Ed! Ed ran against the ropes next to him, leapt up. . .and landed a falling headbutt onto the Champion of Life! Ed went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 MARIO KICKED OUT! Ed grabbed Mario by the overalls and tossed him into his corner, his shoulder colliding right into the ring post!

"OOOOH!" Shake cringed. "Ed's just manhandling the Champion of Life! Just imagine what will happen between these two men when tables, ladders and chairs are involved!"

Ed then pulled Mario out of the corner. . .lifted him up. . .and took him down with a trio of scoop slams! Ed then backed up against his corner, swinging his arm around, taunting for Mario to stand up! Mario eventually staggered up to his feet, and Ed charged toward Mario with his arm out for a meathook clothesline. . .

. . .but Mario ducked, causing Ed to whiff on the attempt! As Ed swirled back around to face the Champion of Life, Mario kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .and took him down with a swinging neckbreaker! After nailing Ed's chest with a falling elbow, Mario knelt down and put Ed in another headlock before lifting him up off his feet, above his body. . .and taking him down with a forward suplex! Mario went for a cover of his own, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ED KICKED OUT! Mario stomped on the mat in frustration before rising to his feet!

"The Champion of Life thought he had Ed finished right there!" Early said while Mario strode over to a corner and climbed the top rope!

"But he may finish him right here, Early!" Shake foreboded, as Mario raised a peace sign above his head to a mixed reaction from the crowd. . .

. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .

. . .AND BEING CAUGHT IN MID-AIR BY ED, THEN SLAMMED DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A FLAPJACK! Both Ed and Mario were down near opposite corners in the ring as they crawled toward their corners for a cover!

"Both men are down! Who's gonna make the tag first, and give their team the upper hand?" Early wondered, as Tai slapped the top turnbuckle repeatedly in anticipation for a tag, while Hotsuma extended his arm out for a tag in his team's corner!

With both men coming closer to their corners, Ed and Mario wormed closer to their Tai and Hotsuma. . .

. . .extended their arms out. . .

. . .

. . .

.. .AND BOTH MEN SUCCESSFULLY MADE THE TAG! Tai and Hotsuma charged toward each other, the two of them hitting each other with furious right hands upon meeting in the center of the ring! They continued trading punches until Hotsuma surprised Tai with a left hand instead of a right, knocking him backwards. As Tai bounced off the ropes behind him, Hotsuma went for a Big Boot. . .but Tai caught Hotsuma's leg in time and took him down with a Dragon Screw! Going on pure adrenaline, Tai ran against the ropes in front of him and landed a falling elbow of his own to the chest of the Oboro Clan Leader before going for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 HOTSUMA KICKED OUT! Tai pulled Hotsuma up to his feet. . .only for Hotsuma to shove him backward, then take him down with a High Knee! Hotsuma then pulled Tai up by the hair and slugged him with a three-punch combination and an uppercut for good measure before Irish whipping him across the ring, and taking him down with a powerslam on the bounceback! After landing a Leg Drop of his own across Tai's chest, Hotsuma went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TAI KICKED OUT! Hotsuma couldn't believe it, punching the mat in frustration! Hotsuma then stood up, and waited with open arms for Tai to stand up to his feet before going for a swift chop to the chest. . .but Tai caught it in time before nailing Hotsuma in the chest with a chop of his own! After three more chops, Tai hit Hotsuma with a kick to the midsection before lifting Hotsuma up for a brainbuster. . .but the Oboro Clan Leader fought out of it, falling behind Tai before going for a neckbreaker, but Tai countered out of it and shoved Hotsuma toward the ropes! Hotsuma latched onto the top rope before making impact, though, and spun around just in time to dodge a clothesline from Tai by pulling down on the top rope, sending Tai onto the ring apron! Tai turned around to go back into the ring. . .but Hotsuma put Tai in a headlock, and pulled him back into the ring over the middle rope. . .with his feet resting on the rope!

"Hotsuma's looking to plant the XCW World Heavyweight Champion with a Hangman's DDT!" Early called, as Hotsuma seethed with fury. . .

. . .until Double D ran into the ring and took Hotsuma down with a chop block! Tai recollected himself on the ring apron and stepped toward a corner while Hotsuma fell to the mat inside the ring, and Double D slid out onto the other side of the ringside area. . .

. . .ONLY FOR MARIO TO DIVE OFF THE RING APRON AND TAKE DOUBLE D DOWN WITH A DIVING DOUBLE AXE HANDLE!

"Double D saved Tai from Hotsuma's deadly DDT, but Mario wants to get another piece of D-Ed before Sunday!" Shake called while Hotsuma strode to a corner as he gathered his bearings. . .and slipped on his pair of spiked knuckles!

"Look at him, Shake!" Early said. "Hotsuma's going for those damn spiked knuckles!"

"Taking the coward's way out once again-but wait! The referee saw it this time!" Shake observed as the referee stepped toward the Oboro Clan Leader, and pulled the spiked knuckles off of Hotsuma. . .

. . . WHO IMMEDIATELY TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE AKUJIKI!

"OH MY GOD!" Early shouted. "Hotsuma just took out the referee, while chaos is starting to break out at ringside!"

On the ringside floor, Mario and Spongebob were beating on Edd until Mario hit Edd with a knee to the torso before throwing him right into the steel steps nearest the ring apron! As Spongebob entered the ring, Mario stepped toward the side of the ring facing the stage, and slid Edd back into the ring before looking under the ring for a weapon while Hotsuma strode toward his spiked knuckles, about to pick them up. . .

. . .UNTIL TAI LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A FLYING CROSSBODY!

"The XCW World Heavyweight Champion just made a statement to the Oboro Clan Leader!" Shake said, as Tai looked at all the fans in the stands in front of him and raised a fist toward them, with the crowd cheering back. . .

. . .UNTIL SPONGEBOB LIFTED TAI ONTO HIS SHOULDERS IN A FIREMAN'S CARRY POSITION FROM BEHIND. . .

. . .BUT ED MADE THE SAVE, TAKING SPONGEBOB DOWN WITH A DIVING SHOULDER BLOCK!

"But the Monobrowed Monster, Ed, saves the champion!" Early yelled, as Mario came out of the ring apron with a table!

"But Mario's looking to drop Double D through a table!" Shake called, as Mario set up the table right next to the ring on the ringside floor! Mario then slid into the ring and pulled Double D up by the sock, only for Ed to charge toward him and take him down with a massive clothesline! Ed then stood over the Champion of Life, seething with fury before pulling him up by the overalls, and setting him on his shoulders!

"And now Ed wants to give Mario a taste of what's to come when the Tag Team titles are on the line at Heatwave!" Shake shouted as Ed stood next to the table. . .

. . .AND HAD HIS LEGS SWEPT OUT FROM UNDER HIM BY LUIGI!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Early screamed. "WHERE THE HELL DID LUIGI COME FROM?"

"HE WANTS A PIECE OF THE EDS TOO, EARLY!" Shake answered while Luigi grabbed Ed by the leg. . .

. . .ONLY FOR DOUBLE D TO TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A TORNADO DDT! Meanwhile, Tai had recollected himself and stood back up to his feet before brawling with Spongebob! Mario rose up to his knees before crawling toward the spiked knuckles…

. . .and slipping them on?

"WAIT A—LOOK AT MARIO!" Early cried. "HE'S GOT HOTSUMA'S SPIKED KNUCKLES!"

Mario then pushed himself up to his feet and charged toward Ed, who was slow to his feet. . .

. . .AND NAILED HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE SPIKED-KNUCKLED FIST, KNOCKING HIM DOWN AND BUSTING HIM OPEN!

"OOOOOH!" Early cringed! "MARIO JUST LAID OUT THE MONOBROWED MONSTER OF D-ED!"

"HE MAY BE THE DIFFERENCE MAKER COME SUNDAY, EARLY!" Shake shouted as Mario slipped the spiked knuckles into his overalls pocket before raising another peace sign toward the crowd, who booed back. . .

. . .UNTIL STAN MARSH KICKED MARIO IN THE CHEST AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A SOUTH PARK STUNNER, AS CARTMAN SET A TABLE NEXT TO THE ONE MARIO SET UP BEFORE ENTERING THE RING BEHIND STAN!

"AND NOW THE SOUTH PARK FOUR HAVE MADE THEIR PRESENCE FELT!" Early shouted.

"IT IS ABSOLUTE CHAOS AND ANARCHY OUT HERE, EARLY, AND THAT'S WHAT WE"LL SEE THIS SUNDAY IN LIBERTY CITY!" Shake yelled unintelligibly as Stan and Edd began to brawl, while Cartman traded punches with Mario, Ed pulled himself up with the ropes as Luigi hammered onto his body with right hands, and Spongebob and Tai were brawling near an opposite corner!

"THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION AND THE SHOWSTOPPIN' SPONGE ARE COMING TO BLOWS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AN XCW RING!" Early yelled unintelligibly as Tai took Spongebob down with a surprise drop toe hold, and went to lock in the Crossface. . .

. . .but Spongebob elbowed Tai off his back, then grabbed him by the hair and slapped him VICIOUSLY across the face to boos from the crowd before putting him in position for a powerbomb!

"THIS IS WHAT'S COMING TO YA, TOMMY!" Spongebob shouted into the camera before he lifted him up for the Spongy Edge. . .

. . .UNTIL TOMMY VERCETTI RAN DOWN THE RAMP WITH A CHAIR IN HAND!

"AND RIGHT ON CUE COMES THE HARWOOD BUTCHER!" Early screamed, as Spongebob let Tai go and stared Tommy down!

"TOMMY VERCETTI'S MAKING A BEELINE TOWARD SPONGEBOB!" Shake shouted, as Spongebob let Tai go before stepping toward Tommy and beginning to brawl with him! Meanwhile, Hotsuma slid back into the ring with a chair in hand, only for Tai to dropkick the chair into his chest, sending Hotsuma into the corner! Hotsuma glared at Tai with an angry stare before striding toward him, only to receive a kick to the midsection. . .

. . .AND FOR TAI TO TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A BRAINBUSTER ON THE CHAIR!

"SO MUCH HATRED. . .SO MUCH ADRENALINE RUNNING IN THE RING RIGHT NOW BETWEEN ALL TEN OF THESE MEN! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN THIS SUNDAY WHEN XCW ARRIVES IN LIBERTY CITY?" Early wondered aloud, as all the brawls continued while Tai rose back up to his feet. . .

. . .

. . .and heard. . .

. . .

. . ."BAD MAN" BY JIM JOHNSTON!

"Oh no. . ." Shake foreboded. . .

. . .AS GARFIELD STOMPED DOWN THE RAMP!

"AND HERE COMES THE MONSTER, GARFIELD! HE'S BEEN TEARING THROUGH THE BACKSTAGE AREA ALL NIGHT AFTER HIS TIE AGAINST CHAOS THE HEDGEHOG LAST WEEK!" Early cried, as Garfield strode down the ramp seething with anger until Tai slid out of the ring and charged toward him!

"BUT RIGHT NOW HE'S LOOKING TO SEND TAI KAMIYA AND THE REST OF THE MEN IN THE RING RIGHT NOW TO AN EARLY GRAVE…BUT TAI WON'T STAND FOR IT!" Early shouted as Tai met Garfield in the center of the ramp and began hitting him with a flurry of right and left hands!

"HE MAY BE SENDING HIMSELF TO AN EARLY GRAVE!" Shake shouted as Garfield fired back with a headbutt! Garfield and Tai continued brawling down the ramp, making their way back to the ring! Tai slugged Garfield in the face with an uppercut. . .but Garfield responded by slamming his face HARD into the ring apron. . .but Tai grabbed the chair Hotsuma brought into the ring from under the bottom rope, and nailed Garfield in the chest with it, causing Garfield to falter a bit!

"TAI'S GIVING GARFIELD A TASTE OF WHAT'S COMING TO HIM THIS SUNDAY AT HEATWAVE!" Early screamed!

"HE'LL HAVE TO DO MORE THAN USE A CHAIR TO BE THE LAST MAN STANDING, EARLY!" Shake shouted before Tai raised the chair high above his head and swung it toward Garfield's head. . .

. . .BUT GARFIELD PUNCHED IT RIGHT OUT OF TAI'S HANDS. . .

. . .AND GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT!

"Uh-oh. . ." feared Shake, as Garfield raised Tai high above his head. . .

. . .AND PUT TAI THROUGH BOTH TABLES NEXT TO THEM ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR WITH A CHOKESLAM!

"BUT THE CHAMPION'S BEEN DRIVEN THROUGH A TABLE!" Early yelled unintelligibly as Garfield looked up at the chaos in the ring, then back down to Tai Kamiya, who was left lying in the crumbled remains of the table.

"WILL THIS BE THE SCENE AT THE END OF XCW HEATWAVE IN LIBERTY CITY?" Early cried. "WILL WE HAVE A NEW XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, OR WILL TAI KAMIYA BE THE LAST MAN STANDING?"

Garfield let out a roar of intensity as Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

Results

Claude Speed defeated Johnny Bravo  
Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick defeated Eddy and Rolf  
Bugs Bunny and Sora Takenouchi defeated Luigi and Peach  
Tai Kamiya, Ed and Edd fought to a no-contest against Spongebob Squarepants, Hotsuma and Mario

XCW Heatwave Card:

Rolf versus Kenny (c) in a Falls Count Anywhere match for the XCW Hardcore Championship  
Bugs Bunny versus Hotsuma in a Tables match  
Claude Speed (c) versus Arthur in a First Blood match for the XCW World Television Championship  
Sora Takenouchi (c) versus Peach in a Hardcore match for the XCW Women's Championship  
D-Generation Ed (Ed and Ed) versus The South Park Four (Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman, c) versus The Mario Brothers (Mario and Luigi) in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match for the XCW Tag Team Championship  
Tommy Vercetti versus Spongebob Squarepants in a Liberty City Street Fight  
Tai Kamiya (c) versus Garfield in a Last Man Standing match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship

And so concludes another episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre! As always, let me know if something didn't make any sense, or if anyone was out of character. Also, special thanks to Emmanuelle for suggesting some new moves for Tai and Sora! They will come in handy. . .thanks again, dude! Now get an account and join us in the Multiverse forum! :D

XCW Heatwave will come sometime after the holiday, but predict the pay-per-view until then! There MIGHT be a prize for the winner of the contest. . .not for certain, but you never know. ;D

Until the beginning of Heatwave, please READ/PREDICT/REVIEW, and Happy Thanksgiving!


	38. XCW Heatwave: Part 1

And now. . .Cluckin' Bell presents. . .XCW HEATWAVE! I only own my championships.

"Good Feeling" by Flo Rida played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which thousands of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

"Welcome to Liberty City: A terrible place for a holiday! Tonight is not for the squeamish, or the weak of heart, because it is about to get extreme here in the XCW Arena, where twenty-five hundred of the smarkiest of fiction wrestling fans have come to see their favorite XCW superstars beat the holy hell out of each other in only the deadliest of match types, for every match on the card here tonight has an extreme stipulation! Blood is guaranteed to be shed, destruction is guaranteed to ensue, and you are guaranteed to be watching the best of the best! Welcome to XCW Heatwave, ladies and gentlemen! I'm Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside! We are live inside the XCW Arena in the crime-riddled metropolis known as Liberty City, and Shake, I can't think of a city more fitting for an all-extreme pay-per-view than the self-proclaimed 'Worst City On Earth.'"

"I can name two hundred, Early!" Shake said in disgust as the show cut to the announcer's table. "Why'd we book Heatwave in this dump? We could've easily seated more fans in a city like Toontown or New New York City!"

"We're here because Space Ghost wanted an extreme-themed pay-per-view, and what better way to create an extreme environment than to host it in a former Sprunk soda factory, and in 'The City Where Lunatics Prosper'?" answered Early. "But the superstars that we'll see in action tonight look to prosper in big ways here tonight, starting with our first match!"

The show cut to the ring, where Plankton stood with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest. . .is a Falls Count Anywhere match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship!"

"IT'S ROLF! (It's Rolf!)"

X-Pac's DX theme played to cheers from the crowd as Rolf stepped onto the stage with a wheelbarrow full of weapons, then did the DX crotch chop three times, with pyro going off in unison each time. Once the pyro settled, the Son of a Shepherd pushed the wheelbarrow down the ramp.

"Introducing first. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . . .from Peach Creek. . .he is the Son of a Shepherd. . .ROLF!"

"Since the arrival of the South Park Four into XCW, the rivalry between them and D-Generation Ed has been nothing short of intense!" Early said. "Later on in the night, Ed and Double D from D-Ed look to regain the tag team titles from Stan and Cartman in XCW's first-ever Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. . .but right now, 'The Son of a Shepherd", Rolf, looks to bring even more gold back to his table in the form of the XCW Hardcore Championship!"

Once Rolf made it to the foot of the ramp, he leapt onto the ring apron, then a top turnbuckle, and posed toward the fans.

"The rivalry between the two stables has spread from XCW's tag team division to the Hardcore division, and these two men have been major players in that division since April!" Shake added. "But tonight, everything between these two stables comes to a head, starting with a match where falls count anywhere in the building!"

Rolf stepped off the ring apron and looked up the ramp in anticipation until. . .

. . ."What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played to boos from the crowd while Kenny McCormick stepped onto the stage and strode down the ramp with a steel chair in hand.

"And his opponent. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .he is "The Extremist". . .KENNY MCCORMICK!"

"Before signing to XCW, Kenny McCormick only had a brief stint as a Hardcore Champion in CWF." Early informed. "But since his debut in XCW, including his current reign, he's a six-time XCW Hardcore Champion!"

"And after the title changed hands a record EIGHTEEN TIMES at the XCW Summer Supershow, Kenny still emerged from that night as the Hardcore Champion!" added Shake. "But with the tempers flaring as high as they are between the South Park Four and D-Ed stipulation, I have a feeling this will be a tougher challenge than the Champion thinks."

"You may be right about that, Shake-" Early agreed, while Kenny reached the foot of the ramp. . .

. . .BEFORE ROLF LEAPT OVER THE ROPES AND TOOK KENNY DOWN ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR WITH A SUICIDE DIVE! Both men were down at the foot of the ramp as the bell rang and the match began!

"BUT THE SON OF A SHEPHERD FIRES THE FIRST SHOT IN THIS MATCHUP, AND THIS HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP FIGHT IS OFFICIALLY UNDERWAY!" shouted Early while Rolf slowly but surely gathered his bearings, reached his feet, and strode toward his wheelbarrow, rummaging through it to look for a weapon.

"And Rolf ain't looking to waste any time! Look at him go for a weapon!" Shake observed, as Rolf pulled his signature shovel out of the wheelbarrow and strode back toward Kenny, who surprised him with a drop toe hold, causing Rolf to land face-first onto his own weapon! Kenny then stepped toward the wheelbarrow and rummaged through its contents before pulling out a chain and wrapping it around his fist! Kenny then charged toward Rolf with his fist cocked back. . .only for Rolf to surprise Kenny with a monkey flip that sent the South Park Extremist over the barricade and into the crowd!

"The South Park Extremist wanted to give Rolf a faceful of steel, but the Son of a Shepherd sent the Hardcore Champion flying into this sellout crowd!" Early said, as Rolf ran toward the barricade, jumped onto it. . .sized Kenny up as he slowly rose to his feet. . .

. . .THEN LEAPT OFF THE BARRICADE AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A SPINNING HEADSCISSORS! Both Rolf and Kenny were down on the concrete floor, surrounded by fans as they chanted "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"BAH GAWD, SHAKE!" Early screamed. "This match is only minutes old, but already it's made its way into the audience!"

"I told ya, Early!" Shake declared. "These two men hate each other! The entire arena can't contain the hatred between D-Ed and the South Park Four!"

Rolf was the first man to stir, and slowly push Kenny onto his back for a cover! The referee made the count upon climbing over the barricade 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out! Rolf pulled Kenny up to his feet and slugged him with a throat thrust before Irish whipping him even further into the crowd. . .until Kenny countered it with an Irish whip of his own that sent Rolf face-first into a crowd of fans, who immediately pushed him back toward Kenny. . .who caught Rolf and took him down with a Snap Suplex! Kenny went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!

Kenny got up from the cover and strode toward the chain he left lying on the ground close to the barricade. After he picked up one end of the chain, he drug it toward Rolf, who was quick to roll up to his feet and surprise Kenny with an elbow smash to the face, then an Inverted Atomic Drop! Rolf stepped toward Kenny intending to go for a cover, but stopped as he heard the fans behind him chanting, "WE BROUGHT WEAPONS! WE BROUGHT WEAPONS!" Rolf turned around to face the group of chanting and clapping fans, the five of them respectively holding a coffee pot, a baseball bat, a pizza stone, a cheese grater, and a toaster. Rolf pondered for a bit as Kenny regained his bearings by the barricade behind him. . .ran toward his adversary, and went for a Back Stabber. . .

. . .BUT ROLF TURNED AROUND IN TIME TO NAIL KENNY IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH THE TOASTER!

"GOOD GRIEF!" Early cringed. "I never thought I'd live to see a toaster used like that!"

"I kind of did, Early!" Shake quipped. "Liberty City's full of nothing but sociopaths! The fans here in attendance are barbarians!"

Rolf then smashed the toaster onto Kenny's face a few more times until he dented it, then gave it back to the fan before going for a cover 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out! Rolf then pulled Kenny up by his coat hood and slugged him with another uppercut that sent him reeling around. . .and right into a pumphandle slam from Rolf! With Kenny dazed for the time being, The Son of a Shepherd then caught a glimpse of the chain sticking out of Kenny's coat pocket before pulling an end of the chain out of his pocket. . .AND TYING IT TO KENNY'S ARM!

"Ohhhh noooo. . ." Shake foreboded. "Rolf's gonna treat him like one of his farm animals!"

"Damn right, Shake! The Son of a Shepherd is in total control not only of this match, but literally of the Hardcore Champion himself!" Early said, as Rolf finished tying the chain around Kenny's arm. "He's got the South Park Extremist right where he wants him!"

"COME ON, YOU COAT-WEARING OAF!" Rolf shouted, tugging on the chain hard enough to pull Kenny back up to his knees, and whipped him right into the hall of a walkway head-first! Rolf then pulled on the chain, bringing Kenny right into his face until Rolf knocked him down with a clothesline! Rolf quickly went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out! Rolf groaned in annoyance before pulling Kenny back up by the chain, spinning him around. . .then letting him go. . .

. . .CAUSING HIM TO CRASH THROUGH THE DOUBLE DOORS INTO A BACKSTAGE HALLWAY! Kenny landed face-first on the linoleum floor of the hallway before Rolf stepped in to go for another cover! 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out! Rolf then pulled Kenny back up to his feet by the chain and ran forward before swinging it to the left. . .and crashing Kenny face-first right into a wall! Kenny reeled out of the hole he made in the wall, but it wasn't long before Rolf swung the chain in the other direction. . .and sent Kenny face-first into the opposite wall!

"The Son of a Shepherd, Rolf is certainly resourceful!" Early informed. Not only is he in control of Kenny, and this match by using the chain as a weapon, but he's using the environment as a weapon as well!"

Rolf then pulled a very dazed Kenny toward him by the chain, until they were face-to-face, then Rolf lifted Kenny up and took him down with a Dragon Suplex! Rolf quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out! With authority Rolf pulled Kenny up by the chain once more, swung it to the left. . .

. . . .AND SENT KENNY CRASHING THROUGH D-ED'S LOCKER ROOM DOOR!

"Rolf is just having his way with poor Kenny, and so will the rest of D-Ed!" Shake cried, before adding "Well, that is, if they're even here!" as Rolf slugged Kenny with an uppercut, then took him down with a scoop slam!

"They're getting ready for the Tables, Ladders and Chairs match later tonight, Shake!" Early said. "Right now, it's just Rolf, Kenny. . .and Jonny 2x4!"

Kenny struggled to push himself up from the floor, as a startled Jonny 2x4 looked on, sitting at a table with a Parcheesi board game across from Plank.

"RANGER JONNY!" Rolf shouted as he grabbed Plank from his seat. "No time to explain! Rolf requires the assistance of your silent wooden friend!"

"HEY!" Jonny shouted to no avail as Rolf pulled Kenny back up to his feet with the chain. . .

. . .AND NAILED HIM IN THE FACE WITH PLANK! Kenny reeled towards a row of lockers. . .before Rolf nailed him in the back of the head with Plank, ramming his face right into a locker door!

"As long as he's got Kenny by the chain, Rolf looks to be in the driver's seat of this Hardcore Championship matchup!" Early said.

"I'll say!" Shake quipped. "Those splinters are gonna be bitches to pull out!"

Rolf threw Plank back in Jonny's direction before going for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out!

"But despite it all, the Hardcore Champion STILL isn't through!" Early called, as Rolf pulled Kenny up to his feet and put him in a headlock before pulling his head up and thrusting it toward the closed locker door. . .

. . .but Kenny kicked Rolf in the nuts with a low blow! The Son of a Shepherd fell to his knees, clutching his groin in pain as Jonny 2x4 charged toward Kenny. . .only for Kenny to stop him in his tracks by opening the locker door and hiding behind it, nailing Jonny right in the face with it! Kenny quickly grabbed Rolf by the back of the shirt, drug him toward the now open locker. . .AND SLAMMED THE DOOR INTO ROLF'S HEAD!

"OH MY GOD! The South Park Extremist is living up to his moniker with the use of that door!" Early screamed, as Kenny slammed the door into Rolf's head over and over and over again until he was finally busted wide open!

"He's the Hardcore Champion for a damn good reason, Early!" Shake said. "And now he's back in control of this match!"

Rolf rolled onto his side, trying to wipe the blood from his face until Kenny went for a quick cover! 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out! Kenny punched the locker in front of him in frustration before pulling himself back up to his feet. . .pulling the knot Rolf made with the chain around his arm. . .AND UNTIED IT, SETTING HIMSELF FREE!

"And he's back in control of himself, after breaking out of the grasp of Rolf's chain!" Early added before Kenny kicked Rolf in the gut repeatedly, then nailed him in the face with a swift boot. Kenny then grabbed Rolf by the hair and hit him in the face with a right hand, then in the left kidney with a left hand! As Rolf sold his abdomen in pain, Kenny hooked Rolf's arms. . .lifted him up. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED HIM THROUGH THE TABLE WITH AN UNDERHOOK SUPLEX!

"OH MY GOD!" Early shouted, as both Kenny and Rolf laid in the remains of the table, and the Parcheesi game board! "KENNY'S GONNA RETAIN THE TITLE!"

Kenny became the first to stir as he rolled on top of Rolf for a cover! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ROLF KICKED OUT! Kenny couldn't believe it!

"HOW THE HELL DID ROLF KICK OUT?!" Shake screamed, as Kenny rose up from the cover and strode toward the chain to pick it up. Kenny then raised the chain high above his head. . .

. . .AND BEGAN WHIPPING ROLF IN THE BACK WITH THE CHAIN! Rolf yelped in agonizing pain as Kenny beat Rolf's back with the chain over and over until it was bruised and lacerated!

"GOOD GRIEF!" Early cringed. "Kenny's treating Rolf like the Shepherd's own pet pig!"

Kenny then wound the chain around his hand while Rolf reached for a folding chair in front of him, trying to catch his breath. Kenny finished wrapping the chain around his fist before backing up to a locker. As Rolf pushed himself up and took a heavy breath, Kenny charged toward Rolf. . .

. . .WHO TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A DROP TOE HOLD, SENDING KENNY TO HIT AND BREAK THE CHAIR FACE-FIRST, AND BUST HIM OPEN! Rolf pushed Kenny onto his back for a quick pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . ..2.5 KENNY KICKED OUT! Both men were down on the floor of the locker room as they tried to regain their bearings. . .until Kenny was the first to push himself up to a standing position while Rolf could only get to his knees. Facing his back, Kenny grabbed Rolf by the hair and forced him up to a standing position before slugging him in the face with an uppercut that sent the Son of a Shepherd reeling backward a bit. Kenny then grabbed a hold of Rolf's pants from their waistband before chucking him forward. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO A FINALLY STANDING JONNY 2x4! Rolf and Jonny laid on the locker room floor in a crumbled heap until Kenny pulled Rolf up by the arm and Irish whipped him out of the locker room, and into the hallway! With the door still open, Kenny dashed toward the hallway, leaping up and grabbing onto the locker room's doorway. . .

. . .AND SWINGING INTO THE HALLWAY BEFORE TAKING ROLF DOWN WITH A CROSSBODY BLOCK! Kenny went for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 ROLF KICKED OUT! Kenny couldn't believe it!

"And now Kenny, the Hardcore Champion, tried taking a page out of Rolf's book by using the environment to his advantage!" Early said. "And by God, he almost had Rolf pinned right there!"

Kenny pulled Rolf up by the hair again, and led him down the hallway to the front lobby of the arena, where fans were scattering to their seats, and stood in various concession stand lines, cheering on Rolf and Kenny as they passed by. Kenny drug Rolf down the hallway, and bashed him face-first into a wastebasket! Kenny then went to Irish whip Rolf toward the concession stand. . .but Rolf countered it into an Irish whip of his own that sent Kenny to hit the concession stand chest-first! Rolf then strode over to Kenny, picked his legs up and set them on the concession counter. . .and slid him down the counter! Kenny ran into numerous trays of food, hot dogs, and drinks, knocking them onto the floor, and himself. . .

. . .until he crashed head and face-first into the wall of the stand! Rolf then draped Kenny's arm over his back. . lifted him up. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED HIM ONTO THE CONCESSION COUNTER WITH A FORWARD SUPLEX! Kenny fell forward onto the floor of the mezzanine area before Rolf knelt down and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . . .2.75 KENNY KICKED OUT! Rolf kicked the concession counter in frustration!

"Rolf thought he had the title won!" Early called. "But what's he gonna do next?"

"He's gotta go for the kill, Early!" Shake answered, as Rolf pulled Kenny back up to a standing position before slugging him in the face with a right hand, then threw Kenny head-first into a wall. . .

. . .but Kenny skidded to a stop just before making impact, backpedaled, and took Rolf down with a back elbow smash! Kenny slowly pushed himself up to his feet as he grabbed Rolf by the hair and turned a corner to another hallway, which had a long ramp and a long staircase in the center of the room, each of them with railings dividing them, and ending in the same hallway at the bottom. Kenny pulled Rolf up and hit him with a throat thrust before throwing him forward. . .right into a sign that said "Keep Loading Bay Clear"! The impact knocked the large sign off its pole, and sent Rolf down to the concrete! Kenny then set the sign across Rolf's chest. . .and landed a Falling Knee Drop onto the sign, crushing it against Rolf's torso! Kenny went for another cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 ROLF KICKED OUT!

"NO! The Son of a Shepherd won't give up!" Early cried. "Not even after all he's been through!"

"These two cruiserweights are using everything in their path!" Shake said. "What the hell else are they gonna do to each other?"

Kenny gave Rolf's face an angry stomp in anger, before looking ahead of him. . .and seeing the staircase.

"Uh-oh. . ." Shake foreboded. . .as Kenny pulled Rolf up by the hair once more and drug him toward the staircase!

"The South Park Extremist is about to resort to what might be the extremist of measures in this Falls Count Anywhere match-up!" Early said, as Rolf went for a punch to Kenny's face. . .but Kenny caught it in time, and hit Rolf in the abdomen with a soccer kick! Kenny quickly put Rolf in position for a Belly-to-Belly Suplex. . .

. . .lifted him up. . .

. . .

. . .BUT ROLF NAILED KENNY IN THE TEMPLE WITH A SWIFT ELBOW SMASH! Kenny let go of him, selling his head while Rolf dropped to his feet in front of Kenny. Rolf then hit Kenny with a kick to the midsection. . .

Early shouted, "WAIT A MINUTE!"

. . .lifted him up in a Crucifix Powerbomb position. . .

Shake screamed, "WHAT'S ROLF GOING TO DO?"

. . .AND SPUN HIM AROUND. . .

Shake foreboded, "OH SHIIIIIT-"

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE ROLF THREW KENNY DOWN THE SET OF STAIRS WITH A SPINNING CRUCIFIX TOSS!

"OH MY GOD!" Early yelled, as Kenny landed on the middle of the staircase before rolling down it, all the way to the concrete floor!

"BAH GAWD, SHAKE! THE XCW HARDCORE CHAMPION MAY BE BROKEN SMACK-DAB IN HALF!" Early cried unintelligibly while Rolf smirked at Kenny's demise, his blood still trickling down his face. . .but Rolf turned around, strode toward the Loading Bay sign, and picked it up!

"ROLF MAY BE ONE OF THE STRONGEST CRUISERWEIGHTS I'VE EVER SEEN, EARLY!" Shake yelled. "But NOW what's he looking to do?"

At the bottom of the staircase, Kenny slowly rolled onto his chest, and struggled to pull himself up to his feet as he crawled away from the staircase and toward the end of the ramp. . .while Rolf stared him down from the top of the staircase. . .

. . .before holding the large sign in front of him. . .

. . .

. . .then running toward the ramp's center railing. . .

. . .

. . . .leaping forward. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND GRINDING DOWN THE RAMP'S CENTER RAILING ON THE GIANT SIGN!

"LOOK AT THIS!" Shake screamed, as Rolf grinded all the way down the ramp's railing before leaping toward a now-standing Kenny. . .

. . .

. . .AND TAKING HIM DOWN WITH A JUMPING TORNADO DDT!

"ROLF CHANNELING HIS INNER EXTREMIST, GRINDING DOWN TO MEET KENNY WITH A TORNADO DDT!" Early yelled. "WE'RE GONNA HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!"

Rolf crawled onto Kenny for a pin attempt! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.999999999999999 KENNY KICKED OUT! ROLF ROLLED OFF OF THE COVER, TRYING TO CATCH HIS BREATH WHILE THE CROWD CHEERED THEM ON FROM THE ARENA, CHANTING "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" AND "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"THESE TWO MEN HAVE BEEN EVERYWHERE, SHAKE!" Early shouted. "THEY'VE FOUGHT IN THE CROWD, IN HALLWAYS, IN A LOCKER ROOM, AND THIS LOADING BAY! WHERE ELSE ARE THESE TWO GONNA TAKE EACH OTHER JUST TO WIN THE XCW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP?"

"A BETTER QUESTION IS WHAT ARE THESE TWO GOING TO DO NEXT?" Shake wondered. "THEY'VE USED EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK ON EACH OTHER!"

Rolf slowly staggered up to his feet, pulling Kenny's prone body up by the hood of his coat and drug him down the long loading dock, until they finally made it outside the arena, and into a parking lot! Keeping his grip on Kenny's hood, Rolf drug Kenny toward a stone barricade. . .and rammed his face into it before Irish whipping him further into the parking lot, and chest-first into a large equipment case! Rolf quickly stepped closer to him. . .tied up his arms in a Full-Nelson lock. . .

. . .but Kenny kicked Rolf in the midsection just as he being lifted up! Rolf let go of Kenny before he faltered, selling his ribs in pain until Kenny tackled Rolf up against a nearby forklift! After ramming his face into the side of the forklift, Kenny turned Rolf around to face him, then whacked him with a spinning wheel kick that sent the Son of a Shepherd into a daze. Kenny then grabbed Rolf by the hair and drug him in between the raised forks of the forklift before slamming his bleeding face right into the forklift again. . .then leapt up and nailed Rolf with a jumping kick to the back of his head that sent Rolf careening. . .

. . .AND HIS HEAD AND ARMS DRAPED OVER THE FORK!

"WAIT A MINUTE…." Early foreboded, while Kenny raised a fist and backed up to stand next to the front of the forklift! Kenny then ran forward. . .leapt up and grabbed the mast of the forklift. . .

. . .AND NAILED ROLF WITH THE 303! Rolf was knocked sharply backward in such a daze, he fell over the forklift's second fork behind him!

"BAH GAWD KENNY JUST NAILED ROLF WITH A FORKLIFT ASSISTED 303!" Early shouted unintelligibly while Kenny leapt onto the fork closest to Rolf. . .

. . .sized him up before leaping off. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A GUILLOTINE LEG DROP!

"BAH GAWD WHAT AN IMPACT!" Early screamed, while Kenny went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

"THE SOUTH PARK EXTREMIST LIVING UP TO HIS NAME. . ."

2\. . .

. . .

". . .AND STATUS AS THE HARDCORE-"

. . .2.999999999999999999 ROLF BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP! KENNY SHOT UP FROM THE COVER, EYES WIDE IN DISBELIEF!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shake shouted. "ROLF STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!"

"AND KENNY MCCORMICK DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW!" Early added, as Kenny got in the face of the referee, who insisted that the count was only two! Kenny shook his head back into reality, wiping the blood from his face. . .and seeing an eighteen-wheeler semi-truck next to the metal equipment case from earlier! Without hesitation, Kenny grabbed Rolf by the hair and drug him toward the semi-truck. . .

. . .BUT ROLF STOPPED KENNY IN HIS TRACKS WITH AN ELBOW TO THE STERNUM!

"Kenny's got one last thing in mind. . .but Rolf has another idea!" Early cried, as Rolf continued driving his elbow into Kenny's sternum until he finally broke free! With Kenny faltering a bit, Rolf grabbed Kenny by the arm and Irish whipped him chest-first into the equipment case, then nailed him in the back of the head with a back elbow smash that sent Kenny head and face-first into the case! Rolf then grabbed Kenny by the coat and stepped onto the equipment case, pulling the South Park Extremist up with him. Rolf hit Kenny with a series of chops before charging for a spear against the eighteen-wheeler behind him. . .

. . .but Kenny leapt over Rolf! The Son of a Shepherd stopped in his tracks before he could hit the back of the eighteen-wheeler. . .

. . .BUT NOT BEFORE KENNY CAUGHT ROLF WITH AN INVERTED HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER!

"AND THERE WAS THE MISTAKE BY THE SON OF A SHEPHERD!" Early cried, as Kenny turned to face the back of the eighteen-wheeler in front of him. . .specifically eyeing the ladder along its door. Kenny grabbed Rolf by the hair just one more time. . .

. . .AND PULLED ROLF UP THE LADDER!

"KENNY MCCORMICK IS LOOKING FOR THE FINAL DAGGER INTO THE CHEST OF HIS XCW RIVAL, SHAKE! AND HE MAY FIND IT ON THE TOP OF THAT SEMI TRUCK!" Early exclaimed, as the crowd began chanting "PLEASE DON'T DIE! PLEASE DON'T DIE!"

"For the first time tonight, I agree with this capacity crowd! They can see the end of the world from up there!" Shake cried, as Kenny pulled Rolf onto the top of the semi truck! Kenny pulled Rolf up to his feet and hit him with a right hand. . .only to receive one right back from Rolf! Rolf and Kenny continued trading punches on the truck until Kenny surprised Rolf with a swift kick to the midsection. . .WENT FOR THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER. . .

. . .BUT ROLF SHOVED KENNY TOWARD THE EDGE OF THE TRUCK!. . .

. . .but Kenny was quick to stop in his tracks before falling off the edge!

"Oh, thank goodness. . ." Shake said with relief.

"The XCW Hardcore Champion almost saw his life flash before his eyes. . ." Early added.

Kenny turned back around to face his adversary. . .

. . .ONLY FOR ROLF TO CLOCK HIM IN THE FACE, AND OFF THE TRUCK WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!

"OH MY GOD! MY GOD! MY GOD!" Early yelled unintelligibly. "THE SON OF A SHEPHERD JUST FLIPPED KENNY THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY DEGREES, AND OFF THE TRUCK WITH HIS COC!"

"THAT HAD TO BE A TWENTY-FOOT FALL, EARLY!" Shake said, as Rolf. . .looked up to the sky? "BUT NOW WHAT'S ROLF GOING TO DO?"

"I have NO idea, Shake. . ." Early added, as Rolf prayed under his breath, "Please ask Rolf's family and livestock to remember the Son of a Shepherd."

Rolf then looked down at the ground. . .

. . .AND DID THE DX CROTCH CHOP IN KENNY'S DIRECTION!

"OH NO…." Shake foreboded.

"NO, DON'T DO IT, ROLF! YOU'LL REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" Early screamed, before Rolf splayed his arms out. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND LANDED A SENTON BOMB ONTO KENNY FROM THE TOP OF THE TRUCK!

"OH MY GOD!" EARLY YELLED UNINTELLIGIBLY, AS ROLF AND KENNY LAID ON THE STONE GROUND OF THE PARKING LOT IN A CRUMBLED HEAP, WHILE THE FANS SCREAMED "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" AND "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"THE SON OF A SHEPHERD ROLF JUST PLANTED KENNY FROM TWENTY-FIVE FEET HIGH!" Shake cried, as Rolf draped his arm over Kenny's body for the cover! 1. . .

. . .

"ON HIS WAY. . ."

2\. . .

. . .

"TO REGAINING. . ."

. . . .3!

". . .THE XCW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!" Early finished, as the crowd exploded into cheers as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .AND THE NEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HARDCORE CHAMPION. . .THE SON OF A SHEPHERD. . .ROLF!"

"We knew that tensions between these two cruiserweights and their respective tag teams have boiled over, Shake. . .but they boiled to the point where they spilled from the arena, to the backstage area, all the way to the parking lot!" Early said. "They fought everywhere BUT THE RING!"

Rolf slowly rose to his knees, as the referee raised his arm in victory and handed him the XCW Hardcore Championship belt, while Rolf looked up to the sky and shouted. . ."THANK YOU!"

"They used the environment to their advantage too, Early!" Shake added. "They ran each other into signs, into walls, Rolf even grinded down a staircase, and Kenny used a forklift to do the 303! But in the end, it was the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, with a death-defying dive that solidified the victory, and his status as the new XCW Hardcore Champion!"

Rolf took the Hardcore Championship from the referee before limping away from the parking lot. . .and towards a nearby sidewalk, raising an arm!

"But NOW where's Rolf going?" Shake wondered, as a taxi pulled up to the sidewalk!

"He's getting out of dodge, Shake!" Early answered. "After a match like that, he's vulnerable, and doesn't want to deal with the chaos that surrounds the XCW Hardcore Championship with its 24/7 rule!"

"I don't blame him, Early! He needs a ride to the hospital!" Shake said. "But what's gonna happen when his D-Ed teammates face Cartman and Stan later in Tables, Ladders and Chairs for the XCW Tag Team titles? Hell, what else are we gonna see tonight? We've only just started!"

"I have no idea, Shake. . ." answered Early. "But let's find out from our interview correspondent, Haruko Haruhara, who is standing by with the Commissioner of XCW!"

Rolf got into the taxi, which sped away as the show went to the backstage area, where Space Ghost stood next to Haruko Haruhara, who had a microphone in hand.

"Interviewer-in-training Haruko Haruhara here, with the Commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, Space Ghost!" Haruko said, as Space Ghost came into frame with a confident grin. "Space Ghost, we just saw the XCW Hardcore Championship change hands in a chaotic Falls Count Anywhere match, if I may ask. . .what else are we in store for tonight?"

"Well Ms. Haruhara, from the looks of the match that you, and all the XCW fans saw just now, I'd say everyone here in this building tonight and watching from home are in for one hell of a night here in Liberty City! And allow me to be the first to announce to you all, that XCW is only going to get even better from here, not only tonight, but for all XCW programming going forward. So tomorrow night on XCW Monday Night Massacre, which will be our first simulcast on AO3 and the Fanfiction Wrestling Network, we are going to usher in. . .a NEW ERA! We're bringing in new superstars, new backstage personnel, and even a new theme, to stay up to date with the rest of the competition. So Haruko, to go back to your question, you and the XCW fans are in store for more than just the most extreme night in XCW's short history. . .you are all in store for the dawning. . .of a NEW ERA!"

Space Ghost looked into the camera confidently until the show transitioned to Hotsuma's locker room, where Hotsuma brooded as he unsheathed his Akujiki sword, and started shining it.

"I won't prove anything until I've beaten a legend fair and square. . .so says a rabbit that's past his prime. I should've gave him a fistful of my spikes in our first encounter. . .in the first match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. That should've sent the message that this company needed to hear. . .that I am not one to ignore. But tonight, I'm going to send that message again. Bugs should've thought twice before he made this a Table match. . .because I'm going to do more than put him through a table. . .I'm going to put him through HELL. . ."

Hotsuma sheathed his Akujiki sword as the show faded to a commercial break.

As Heatwave returned from break, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest. . .is a Tables match! There are no pinfalls, or submissions. . .in order to win, you must be the first man to put your opponent through a table!"

"What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage!

"Introducing first. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!"

"Well ladies and gentlemen, our next match tonight features a legend going up against one of fiction wrestling's newcomers!" Early informed. "How this all came about stemmed from an incident two weeks ago on Monday Night Massacre, when Bugs Bunny represented Tai Kamiya in a Pick Your Poison match, while Hotsuma, his opponent here tonight, represented Garfield. Bugs was about to seal the victory with the Acme Elbow Drop, but Hotsuma surprised the Animation Icon with a fist clad with spiked knuckles! Bugs didn't take a liking to that one bit!"

Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle.

"And that's an understatement, Early!" Shake added. "Bugs is a living legend in this business, and to lose in that fashion is more than just a cheap shot to the Animation Icon, it's a sign of disrespect, which Bugs doesn't deserve. He was UCA's first two-time World Heavyweight Champion, a former Toon WWE Champion, a two-time Toon Intercontinental Champion, and went down in history by defeating Mickey Mouse in the first-ever match in the history of fiction wrestling! Bugs has done enough in this business to have earned the respect of everyone in this business, and after tonight, he hopes to teach Hotsuma a thing or two about just that!"

"Red Lottery" by Megasus played as the arena became engulfed in red light.

"And his opponent. . .from Tokyo, Japan. . .HOTSUMA!"

The crowd booed at Hotsuma as he walked onto the stage and down the ramp, his focus on nothing but the ring.

"For the most part, Hotsuma has been absent from an XCW ring for the first six months of this company's inception." Early informed. "He's been in the March Majesty tournament, a member of the Rookie Revolution, and was one of the four men in XCW's first match for the World Heavyweight Championship, along with his opponent here tonight, and while Bugs calls the fistd he received from the Oboro Clan Leader a sign of disrespect. . .Hotsuma calls a sign of 'making his presence felt.'

Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stood on the middle rope in a corner, glaring at the fans.

"Well, Hotsuma has shown a deadly and destructive presence in each of his few appearances in XCW." Shake said. "But it takes more than a set of spiked knuckles to establish yourself in this business, and beating the Animation Icon in a match like this, on a night like this will certainly be enough to back up his claims!"

"And last week on Monday Night Massacre, during a six-man tag team match, Hotsuma had his spiked knuckles slipped off his hand, and taken by the Champion of Life, Mario!" Early reminded. "So tonight, we will find out first-hand if Hotsuma is as deadly as he says he is!"

The bell rang and the match began with Bugs and Hotsuma circling the ring and staring each other down until they met in a tie-up in the center of the ring. Bugs put Hotsuma in a side headlock, only for Hotsuma to drive Bugs toward the ropes on the left side of the ring, break out of the headlock and Irish whip Bugs hard across the ring! Bugs bounced back, and right into a huge elbow smash from the Oboro Clan Leader that knocked him down to the mat! Hotsuma then grabbed Bugs by the ears and hit him in the face with a fierce punch combination, then as Bugs reeled, Hotsuma picked him up and took him down with a Back Suplex before finally leaving the ring above all three ropes, and looking under the ring apron for a table!

"With Bugs down for the moment, Hotsuma's looking to capitalize, and sure enough, he's out here going for a table!" Early said, as Hotsuma pulled a table out from under the apron and slid it into the ring under the bottom rope. Hotsuma climbed onto the ring apron, and then back into the ring over the ropes and started to set up the table. . .until Bugs came up behind him and turned him around to face him. Bugs then slapped Hotsuma in the chest with a knife-edged chop, with the crowd cheering "WOOOO!" in unison with it. Bugs continued to slap Hotsuma with chop after chop until he was backed up against the ropes, then Irish whipped him into a corner. Bugs ran toward Hotsuma and nailed him in the corner with a clothesline! Bugs then landed a pointed elbow drop onto Hotsuma's chest before standing back up and setting up the table that Hotsuma brought into the ring into a corner.

Bugs pulled Hotsuma up to his feet. . .only to be shoved backward by the Oboro Clan Leader! Hotsuma hit Bugs with a massive chop to the chest of his own, then hit him with a couple more chops before Irish whipping him into the corner opposite from the table. Hotsuma charged toward the corner and hammered away at Bugs's chest with several massive shoulder thrusts that forced Bugs to fall into a seated position in the corner. Hotsuma then began to stomp a mudhole into the Animation Icon, then pressed his boot into Bugs's head, choking him against the bottom turnbuckle!

"Dear God!" Early cringed. "Hotsuma is just having his way with the Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny! And all the referee can do is watch!"

"You got that right!" Shake agreed. "This table match has no disqualifications, and Hotsuma's using that to every advantage!"

Satisfied, Hotsuma stopped choking Bugs against the turnbuckle, and Irish whipped him HARD toward the table in the opposite corner! Bugs hit the table face and body-first. . .but skidded to a stop fast enough to not break through it. Bugs caught his breath against the table while Hotsuma ran toward him. . .

. . .only for Bugs to stop Hotsuma in his tracks with a back elbow of his own! Hotsuma stumbled backwards a bit until Bugs pulled him into the center of the ring and took him down with an arm drag. Hotsuma rose up to his feet only for Bugs to take him back down with a quick hip toss! Bugs then left the ring above the middle rope and stepped onto the ringside floor before looking under the apron for another table. . .unaware that Hotsuma was up and striding out of the ring himself! Bugs was pulling out another table from under the apron. . .

. . .until Hotsuma took him down with a flying knee to the face from the ring apron! Hotsuma quickly stood back up and gave Bugs a glare while the fans in the arena chanted "BENCHWARMER! BENCHWARMER!" at Hotsuma!"

"This sell-out crowd is telling Hotsuma exactly how they feel about him!" Early said. "And the Oboro Clan Leader doesn't like it one damn bit!"

"I don't either, Early!" Shake said. "These smarks need to shut the hell up and watch the match!"

Hotsuma glared at the fans through his visor before glancing down at Bugs and pulling him up to his feet by the ears, only to ram him face-first into the barricade, then stride toward the announcer's table. . .dragging Bugs's face along the barricade with every step!

"OH MY GOD! Hotsuma is putting the Animation Icon through a world of hurt right now!" Early exclaimed, as Hotsuma made it to a corner of the ringside area, and pulled Bugs up to face him before slugging him with a right hand, then an uppercut, and then went for a clothesline, but Bugs somehow ducked out of the way and kicked Hotsuma in the midsection! Bugs then went for a hangman's neckbreaker on the floor. . .but Hotsuma nailed Bugs in the side with a hard elbow repeatedly, breaking out of the hold! Hotsuma then tackled Bugs against the barricade closest to the announcer's table before backpedaling. . .only to run forward. . .and clock Bugs right in the face with a Big Boot that knocked Bugs over the barricade and into the crowd!

Hotsuma reached over the barricade and grabbed Bugs by the ears before dragging him along the barricade behind both announcer's tables, literally ordering Early, Shake, and the Spanish announcers to move out of the way as he walked behind the Spanish announcer's table!

"Hotsuma's relentless!" Early cried. "He's hellbent on just punishing the Animation Icon!"

"He wants to prove a point, Early!" Shake said. "And he's not just doing that, he's making a statement, and here's hoping Space Ghost and XCW management are watching this match, and watching it closely!"

Hotsuma then let go of Bugs before turning around, and ripping the protective covering off the announcer's table, then pulling out all the TV monitors! Hotsuma then turned back around. . .

. . .ONLY FOR BUGS TO LEAP OFF THE BARRICADE AND TAKE HOTSUMA DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR WITH A DIVING SPEAR! The crowd erupted into chants of "WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!"

"These fans here in Liberty City may be more vocal about their opinions than fans, but they all agree with the fact that Bugs Bunny is a living legend in animation, and the business of fiction wrestling!"

"And he somehow, miraculously still has something left in the tank!" Shake added. "But how much gas did he lose after that Diving Spear?"

Bugs then pulled Hotsuma up to his feet and slapped him in the chest with a furious chop before draping his arm over his back. . .lifting him up. . .and dropping him onto the ringside floor with a vertical suplex! Bugs then pulled Hotsuma by the scarf toward the Spanish announcer's table!

"And the Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny could put Hotsuma in his place here by putting him through the Spanish announcer's table!" Early called, as Bugs threw Hotsuma back-first against the announcer's table and slugged him in the temple with a right hand.

"Bugs has got a taste for the destructive tonight!" Shake said. "He's about to turn Speedy Gonzalez and Slowpoke Rodriguez's table into rubble! It's so unlike him!"

"He has to do what he has to do in order to win this match, Shake!" Early responded, as Bugs kicked Hotsuma in the midsection, and put him in position for a powerbomb!

"And he might be about to do it right here!" Early added, as Bugs lifted Hotsuma up for the Bunny Bomb. . .

. . .but Hotsuma dropped out of it behind him, and took Bugs down with an inverted DDT on the floor!

"OOOOOH!" Early cringed. "A move of that power and magnitude had to hurt on that concrete floor!"

Hotsuma slowly rose to his feet and pulled Bugs up by the ears. . .only for Bugs to nail Hotsuma with two fierce elbows to the gut, breaking him out of his grasp! Bugs then grabbed Hotsuma by the back of his head and rammed him face first into the ring apron before sliding him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Favoring his back as he slid into the ring after him, Bugs pulled Hotsuma up to his feet and went for another Bunny Bomb through the wooden table in the center of the ring, but Hotsuma dropped out of it, and smashed Bugs's face against the table once. . .twice. . .three times. . .four times. . .and raised his head up by the ears to ram it into the table one more time. . .

. . .but Bugs caught the edge of the table before his face could make impact once more, and fought himself out of Hotsuma's grasp with a back kick to his shin! Hotsuma sold his leg in pain until Bugs Irish whipped him into a corner and charged toward it, nailing Hotsuma with a corner splash! Hotsuma reeled out of the corner until Bugs grabbed him by the scarf and threw him chest-first into the table. Hotsuma stumbled backwards, selling his chest upon impact. . .and right into an Atomic Drop from Bugs! With the crowd chanting "YOU STILL GOT IT! YOU STILL GOT IT!", Bugs pulled Hotsuma up by the scarf, and drug him onto the table before going up with him!

"The Animation Icon is in the driver's seat once more!" Early shouted, as Bugs hooked Hotsuma's arms in a full nelson lock! "And he is about to teach Hotsuma the most important lesson about respect!"

Bugs lifted Hotsuma up for a Full Nelson Slam—NO! Hotsuma managed to hit Bugs in the temple with a trio of swift back elbows, breaking himself free of the hold. Hotsuma then draped his arm over Bugs's shoulders. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP OFF THE TABLE, AND DOWN TO THE MAT!

"BOTH MEN ARE DOWN ONCE AGAIN!" Early cried. "Both of our announcer's tables are still in tact, and so are the wooden tables in the center of the ring and the far corner!"

"But SOMEBODY'S gotta go through one of them to win this match, Early!" Shake said. "These two are putting up a hell of a wrestling match, but they have to give the other a mouth full of wood in order to pick up the victory!"

Bugs and Hotsuma slowly rose to their feet, with the Animation Icon immediately eating a spinning heel kick from his adversary. Bugs turned around in a daze, with his back facing Hotsuma, who lifted him up and ran toward the table in the center of the ring for a Pumphandle Slam through the table. . .

. . .but Bugs dropped out of it behind him! Hotsuma quickly turned around. . .

. . .AND WAS NAILED IN THE FACE WITH THE KARATE KICK-NO! Hotsuma caught it in time, dropped Bugs's foot, and threw Bugs across the ring with a Belly-To-Belly Suplex that sent him flying toward the wooden table propped up in the corner! Bugs staggered up to his feet, selling his back in pain. . .while Hotsuma moved the table out of the center of the ring, and into the right side of the ring, before backing up to the corner opposite of Bugs!

"Uh-oh. . .this isn't the best position for Bugs Bunny to be in right now, Early!" Shake foreboded, as Hotsuma charged toward Bugs. . .

. . .BUT BUGS CHARGED INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A SPEAR OF HIS OWN! BUGS AND HOTSUMA COLLIDED INTO EACH OTHER HEAD AND FACE-FIRST, AND COLLAPSED INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING!

"OH MY GOD!" Early cringed. "BUGS AND HOTSUMA MAY HAVE KNOCKED EACH OTHER OUT COLD!"

The fans chanted "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" as Bugs tried to catch his breath while rolling onto his back, revealing his face to be busted open!

"Not quite, Early! But Bugs is busted open!" Shake observed. "If the extreme side of Bugs Bunny wasn't unleashed before, it's gotta be right now!"

"The last time the Animation Icon saw his own blood, he was in a Steel Cage match at Doomsday!" Early informed. "Bugs has been nothing but a showman. . .but Hotsuma is hellbent on rendering Bugs unrecognizable, just to make his presence known and felt in XCW!"

Hotsuma and Bugs rolled toward opposing side of the ring; Hotsuma using the ropes on the corner of the ring closest to the ramp to pull himself up. While Bugs pushed himself up with the table near the ropes in front of the announcer's tables, Hotsuma ripped the protective padding off the top turnbuckle in his corner, before turning around and stepping toward the center of the ring. Bugs did the same on the other side, and the two of them began trading right hands, with the crowd booing in unison with Hotsuma's strikes, but cheering along with Bugs's right hands! The two of them continued trading right hands until Hotsuma knocked Bugs back toward the table behind him with an uppercut! With Bugs dazed, Hotsuma Irish whipped Bugs across the ring, and took him down with a scoop powerslam on the bounceback! Hotsuma stood up, looking down at Bugs with a look of incensed rage. . .before grabbing him by the ears and throwing him into the nearest corner, then dragging the table back into the center of the ring!

"Hotsuma's had evil intentions running through his mind since the first bell rang in this contest, but his new idea might net him the all-important victory!" Early said, as Hotsuma pulled Bugs up to his feet. . .only to sit him on the top rope!

"I'll say!" Shake agreed. "These two men have put each other through a world of hurt, but they've failed to put each other through a table. . .but Hotsuma's about to finally do it right here!"

Hotsuma climbed up to the top rope, and struck Bugs with another harsh series of punches to his temple, before putting him in a front facelock. . .draping his arm over his back. . .

. . .and lifted him up for a brainbuster—

-NO! Bugs struck Hotsuma in the chest with strikes of his own!

"But Bugs Bunny has a never-say-die attitude, even in matches under hardcore circumstances!" Early said, as Bugs continued hitting Hotsuma with right hands to his sternum. . .until he FINALLY knocked Hotsuma off the turnbuckle. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .and onto the mat, his head barely missing the edge of the table!

"Bugs is up top by himself!" Early cried, as the fans rose to their feet in anticipation!

"The Animation Icon's about to fly!" Shake shouted, as Bugs took in all the cheers and encouragement from the fans in attendance. With blood still trickling down his face, Bugs stood on the top rope, glancing down at a slow-to-stand Hotsuma. . .sizing him up for a Diving Clothesline. . .

. . .but Hotsuma charged toward the corner and pulled one of Bugs's feet out from under him. . .

. . .CAUSING THE ANIMATION ICON TO FALL ONTO THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE BETWEEN HIS LEGS! Bugs let out a scream of agonizing pain, as the crowd groaned along with him!

"NOOOOO! HOTSUMA WAS TOO QUICK!" Early yelled. "And now Bugs is in a WORLD of HURT!"

"YIKES! After that, Bugs and Lola won't be multiplying like the rabbits they are anymore!" Shake cried, as Bugs faltered on the top rope in pain. . .until Hotsuma caught Bugs in a headlock and pulled him forward until his feet were barely hanging on the top rope!

"THIS. . .IS MY TIME!" Hotsuma shouted. . .

. . .BEFORE PLANTING BUGS HARD ON THE MAT WITH A ROPE-HUNG DDT!

"AND HOTSUMA JUST ADDED INSULT AND INJURY TO WHAT MIGHT BE MULTIPLE INJURIES TO THE ANIMATION ICON!" Early cried, as Hotsuma shot up to his feet, seething with anticipation as he set a table up in a slanted position right in front of Bugs, who was slow to get up to his feet. Hotsuma then watched Bugs try to stagger up to his feet. . .

. . .and did the cut throat taunt!

"Hotsuma's got time for one more insult, Early. . ." Shake foreboded, as Bugs slowly but surely rose to his feet. . .only for Hotsuma to leap up. . .

". . .before giving Bugs the ultimate INJURY-"

. . .AND GET PUSHED TOWARD THE ROPES IN FRONT OF HIM BY BUGS!

"NO! BUGS IS STILL ALIVE!" Early shouted, as Bugs jumped over the slanted table in front of him, and ran toward Hotsuma as he bounced back. . .

. . .THEN TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A HIGH KNEE! The fans were on their feet chanting "WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!" while Bugs taunted for Hotsuma to stand up to his feet. . .and knocked him back down with a swinging neckbreaker!

"BUGS BUNNY IS A HOUSE OF FIRE, EARLY!" Shake yelled. "HE'S NOT GONNA QUIT UNTIL HE'S PUT THROUGH THE SAME AMOUNT OF PAIN HOTSUMA PUT HIM THROUGH!"

With a second wind, Bugs stomped his right foot on the mat in anticipation, as he waited for Hotsuma to stand up. The Oboro Clan Leader slowly but surely staggered up to his feet, selling his neck from the neckbreaker from earlier. . .

. . .UNTIL BUGS NAILED HIM IN THE FACE WITH A KARATE KICK! Hotsuma fell to the mat to cheers from the crowd while Bugs pulled the slanted table into the center of the ring and set it upright before setting Hotsuma onto it face up!

"THE KARATE KICK CONNECTS!" Early shouted. "THEY'RE ON THEIR FEET HERE IN LIBERTY CITY FOR THE WASCALLY WABBIT! THE LIVING LEGEND! THE ANIMATION ICON, BUGS BUNNY!"

"These smarks may have graduated on the bottom 5% of their high school class, but if there's one thing they know, it's that Bugs is deserving of their respect!" Shake said, as Bugs stepped toward a corner. . .and climbed up to the top rope!

"Weeks ago, Bugs went for the Acme Elbow against Hotsuma, and got a faceful of spiked knuckles for his troubles. . .but now the Animation Icon is not only about to get his payback. . ." Early said.

Bugs stood onto the top rope, admiring all the cheers from the fans. . .

". . .but also teach Hotsuma about respect, with none other. . ."

. . .slapped his elbow three times. . .

". . .than the old but timeless move. . .that is the Acme Elb-"

. . .AND LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE, HITTING THE ACME ELB—

"—OHHHHHHHHHH!"

-HOTSUMA LEAPT UP AND DROVE BUGS THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE AKUJIKI IN MID-AIR!

"OH MY GOOOOODDDD!" Shake screamed in disbelief!

Hotsuma and Bugs were down in a crumbled heap of wood in the center of the ring as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .HOTSUMA!"

"THIS SELLOUT CROWD CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY JUST WITNESSED, SHAKE!" Early screamed unintelligibly. "THE AKUJIKI CAME OUT OF NOWHERE TO PUT BUGS THROUGH THE TABLE, AND NET HOTSUMA A SECOND VICTORY OVER THE ANIMATION ICON!"

The referee raised Hotsuma's arm in victory as he slowly but surely staggered up to his feet.

"Damn right it did, Early!" agreed Shake. "It was a brutal showing from the Oboro Clan Leader, but Bugs Bunny put up as big a fight! But Hotsuma was hungry to establish himself in this business, and I have a feeling that he did just that! There's no telling where he'll go from here in XCW!"

Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stepped down to the ringside floor, glaring around the arena at all the fans with a stoic stare.

"But you've also got to wonder what Bugs is thinking about right now too, Shake." Early said. "He's fought for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship time and time again since the birth of this company only to fall short, and he now has two losses to Hotsuma on top of that!"

Still selling his abdomen, Bugs managed to rise to his feet and raise a fist toward the crowd, who began to chant "WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!"

"I think that answers your question, Early!" Shake said. "Bugs is a living legend, and always will be, no matter what obstacle comes into his path!"

Hotsuma walked up the ramp, staring down Bugs Bunny the entire way with the same blank stare.

"You're absolutely right, Shake!" Early agreed. "But whatever comes in front of Hotsuma next will be met with sheer determination. . .and utter destruction!"

Hotsuma and Bugs stared each other down until the show cut to the announcer's table, where Early and Shake sat.

"And Heatwave has certainly been a night full of utter destruction just two matches into it, Shake!" continued Early.

"No kidding! Bugs and Hotsuma just put on a clinic, and the XCW Hardcore Championship has already changed hands! I can only imagine what's gonna happen next!" Shake said with excitement.

"Well, imagine no longer, Shake, because up next is a match that won't be for the weak of heart! The Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti returns to his old stomping ground of Liberty City to take on Spongebob Squarepants in a Liberty City Street Fight!"

"Oh my God, Early. . .Spongebob and Tommy have engaged in a war of epic words and screwjobs ever since the Showstoppin' Sponge arrived in XCW." Informed Shake. "Spongebob blamed Tommy for the demise of WWT, but even though it's back on the air now, Spongebob's STILL bitter!"

"And Tommy's hellbent on avenging the attack at Nightfire that he suffered at the hands of the multiple-time World Champion, as well as the harsh words that Spongebob dropped about the Harwood Butcher last week on Monday Night Massacre. . .please take a listen." Early said, before the show transitioned to a replay of Spongebob's interview on the last episode of Monday Night Massacre.

"Tommy. . .I know why you did it. I know why you cost me the victory against Scorpion, and I know why you killed WWT." Spongebob said.

"You did it all because. . .you're jealous of me. You're jealous of my success in this industry because you know you'll never achieve it. You won't win a Royal Rumble in your rookie year, you won't win a Superstar of the Year award, and you won't become a multiple-time World Heavyweight Champion, hell, you won't even SNIFF a World title belt, YOU WON'T EVEN WIN ANOTHER MATCH! And you definitely won't win your match against me this Sunday. You'll be calling yourself the Harwood Butcher, and the man who puts the X in XCW before our referee signals that our Street Fight has begun in front of the Algonquin Cluckin' Bell this Sunday, but when we've made it to the arena, and when your drinking buddies and former one night stands see you looking up at the lights in a bloody pulp at the center of a ring with barbed-wire ropes. . .the last thing you see before you drift into unconsciousness will be the face of the NEW extreme face of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling."

The show transitioned back to the ringside area, where Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table.

"And Tommy Vercetti has NOT been a happy camper since Spongebob said that, Shake!" Early added.

"Spongebob spoke the truth, if you ask me!" Shake said. "Tommy's been on a losing streak dating back to the end of the March Majesty tournament! All of these fans hold The Harwood Butcher in such high esteem, when he can't wrestle his way out of an IV bag!"

"I wouldn't go that far, Shake!" Early argued. "Tommy fights with a destructive and intense spirit, especially in matches under hardcore circumstances. But look for the Harwood Butcher to ramp that intensity up to eleven as he tries to end his two-month long losing streak, and defeat the Showstoppin' Sponge in front of his hometown crowd here in this Liberty City Street Fight! And it is a street fight unlike any other, ladies and gentlemen, because it starts in front of the Cluckin' Bell on Star Junction in the Liberty City suburb of Algonquin, and it doesn't end until a pinfall or submission takes place inside the ring. And right now, the ropes are still your normal and straightforward ropes, but once the combatants make it to the arena, they will be replaced with barbed wire until a winner is decided! It's gonna be a brutal, bloody affair between two men who just flat-out HATE each other. . .and at this time, allow us to welcome our special guest ring announcer for this match, Liberty City's favorite radio personality, Lazlow Jones!"

The show suddenly cut to the exterior of Star Junction in Liberty City, where Lazlow Jones stood in front of a referee with a microphone in hand.

"Thanks, Early!" Lazlow greeted. "It certainly is an honor to be involved in XCW Heatwave, and I'm excited to introduce this match!. . .and to receive the generous paycheck. . ."

Lazlow cleared his throat before stepping backwards, revealing Tommy Vercetti and Spongebob Squarepants standing across from each other with a referee explaining the rules between them.

"The following contest. . .is a Liberty City Street Fight scheduled for one fall!"

The crowd in the arena erupted into cheers as they watched the events on Star Junction on the titantron, while Tommy and Spongebob stared each other down with malicious glares in front of the restaurant.

"Introducing first. . .from Bikini Bottom. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

The crowd booed as Spongebob punched an open palm, taunting Tommy with a malicious glare.

"And his opponent. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .by way of Liberty City. . .he is the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"

The crowd in the arena erupted into cheers for Tommy, who was only glaring at Spongebob with an angry, hateful scowl.

The referee then stepped backwards, away from Tommy and Spongebob. . .

. . .AND SIGNALED THE MATCH TO BEGIN, UPON WHICH, TOMMY AND SPONGEBOB MET ON THE SIDEWALK, THE TWO OF THEM TRADING VICIOUS RIGHT HANDS!

"AND HERE WE GO!" Early shouted, as Tommy and Spongebob punched each other in the face, until Tommy surprised Spongebob with a knee to the face, then locked him in a headlock. . .but Spongebob hit Tommy in the gut with hard elbows, finally breaking out of the hold before nailing Tommy in the chest with a karate chop! Tommy stepped backwards a bit, only for Spongebob to grab him, lift him up and take him down with a Northern Lights Suplex on the sidewalk, then pulled him back up by his shirt collar and whacked him in the back with karate chop after karate chop. . .BEFORE SLAPPING HIM VICIOUSLY ACROSS THE FACE! Tommy grimaced in pain and anger upon impact!

"Tommy did not like that ONE BIT!" Early said, as Tommy turned back to face his adversary and lunged toward him for a Lou Thesz Press, but Spongebob charged forward and caught his arm before Irish whipping him RIGHT INTO THE EXTERIOR WALL OF THE RESTAURANT! Spongebob then grabbed Tommy by the back of his head. . .rammed his face back into the front of the restaurant. . .and proceeded to rub his face against the wall until he was busted open!

"AND TOMMY VERCETTI IS BUSTED OPEN ALREADY, SHAKE!" Early cried. "SPONGEBOB IS LIKE A HOUSE OF FIRE EARLY ON IN THIS UNIQUE MATCHUP!"

"Not only a unique match, but it was Tommy's idea in the first place!" Shake added. "Just goes to show you, Tommy doesn't know how to wrestle OR create a match!"

Spongebob then drug Tommy's face along the wall of the restaurant, his own blood staining the wall the whole way. . .until Spongebob saw a dumpster against the wall of an alley. Spongebob smirked as he Irish whipped Tommy toward the dumpster, in an attempt to throw him into it. . .but Tommy countered it with an Irish whip of his own, and forced Spongebob to hit the dumpster back-first! Spongebob sold his back in pain until Tommy charged toward him, and hit him square in the face with a high knee that rammed the back of Spongebob's head into the dumpster!

"OOOOH! Spongebob has gotta have one massive headache after that!" Early said. "But now Tommy Vercetti has gained the upper hand in this literal street fight!"

Tommy then looked into the dumpster, and began rummaging through it, looking for a weapon!

"EEEEW!" Shake cringed with disgust. "Look at how desperate Tommy is to end his losing streak! The only thing he'll find in there are homeless people and garbage, just like him!"

Spongebob rubbed the back of his head as he stepped toward Tommy, who came out of the dumpster with a large rusty baking sheet. . .and nailed Spongebob across the back with it!

"They say one man's trash is another man's treasure, Shake, and that baking sheet is doing wonders for the Harwood Butcher!" Early said, as Tommy rammed the baking sheet across Spongebob's back, before grabbing his arm and whipping him around to face him. . .

. . .AND NAILING SPONGEBOB RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH A CORNER OF THE BAKING SHEET, KNOCKING HIM DOWN TO THE CONCRETE AND BUSTING HIM OPEN!

"AND NOW SPONGEBOB IS BUSTED OPEN! MY GOD, TOMMY HAS LOST IT!" Shake cried, as Tommy laid the baking sheet across Spongebob's chest. . .and snapped it in two against his body as he landed a leg drop onto Spongebob's chest! Tommy then pulled Spongebob up to his feet and slugged him out of the alley, and onto the sidewalk with a European uppercut, before charging toward him and taking him down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away at his face with thunderous right and left hands! Tommy then stood up and shouted obscenities out of intensity, before turning back around. . .

. . .AND GETTING TACKLED AGAINST A PARKED WHITE BRONCO BY SPONGEBOB!

"And THAT'S what happens when you run your mouth like Tommy just did right there!" Shake said, as Spongebob hit Tommy with a series of karate chops before pulling him back onto the sidewalk, lifting him up. . .and taking him down with a scoop slam right on the pavement! Tommy screamed in agonizing pain upon impact until Spongebob nailed him in the side of the head with a right hand, then on his left temple with a karate chop! Spongebob went for a cover. . .but the referee shouted "NO!"

"Keep in mind pinfalls and submissions won't count until both participants have made it to the ring inside the XCW Arena here in the Liberty City suburb of Bohan!"

"That's right! But Tommy and Spongebob are all the way in Algonquin!" Shake added. "Who knows what these two will do to each other as they make their way over here?"

Spongebob pulled Tommy up to his feet so his back could face him, then threw him face-first toward the passenger side car window. . .

. . .but Tommy stopped before making impact, then leapt backward, successfully taking Spongebob back down with a hard back elbow! Tommy stood up, and raised Spongebob's leg. . .before ramming his knee against the concrete with a Knee Smash! Spongebob let out of a cry of pain as Tommy stood over him and yelled, "I'M JEALOUS, HUH?"

"Tommy reminding Spongebob of the harsh accusation he made against him last week on Monday Night Massacre. . .Spongebob's gotta be regretting those words right about now!" Early said, as Tommy nailed Spongebob in the chest with a kick before pulling him up to his feet, chucking him forward. . .

. . .RIGHT INTO A HOT DOG CART! The vendor of the stand ran away from the scene as Tommy grabbed Spongebob by the back of the head. . .raised him up. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE HOT DOG CART!

"DEAR GOD! TOMMY'S RELENTLESS!" Shake cried, as Tommy raised Spongebob up again. . .as Spongebob grabbed some sort of handle. . .

. . .AND NAILED TOMMY IN THE FACE WITH THE GREASEPAN OF THE HOT DOG CART! Tommy sold his face in pain as he fell back onto the sidewalk!

"BAH GAWD, SHAKE! IF SPONGEBOB DUMPED THAT GREASE ONTO TOMMY, HE WOULD'VE BEEN DONE FOR!" Shake shouted, as Spongebob stood over Tommy with a devilish smirk. . .and raised the greasecatcher above his head!

"DON'T GIVE HIM ANY IDEAS, SHAKE!" Early shouted. "BUT THE SELF-PROCLAIMED 'EXTREME SPONGE' GOT THE IDEA ANYWAY! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIVE TO SEE SPONGEBOB DO THIS-"

Spongebob DUMPED THE GREASE OUT OF THE PAN. . .

. . .BUT TOMMY ROLLED TOWARD THE RESTAURANT, AND OUT OF THE WAY AS THE BURNING GREASE HIT THE PAVEMENT!

"Tommy Vercetti narrowly avoided certain doom, and major third degree burns as Spongebob dumped all the grease out!" Early cried. "But what is he gonna do next?"

Spongebob threw the greasepan at Tommy, successfully hitting him in the temple with a sickening clang! Spongebob grabbed Tommy by the shirt and pulled him up. . .only for Tommy to hit him in the face with a headbutt, and break himself out of his grasp! Tommy then grabbed Spongebob's hand and Irish whipped him into the street. . .only for Spongebob to counter it with an Irish whip of his own that sent Tommy into the street. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO THE PASSENGER SIDE OF AN ONCOMING CAR! Tommy fell backwards upon making impact with the automobile, the brakes of which screeched suddenly as the car came to a stop!

"GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! SPONGEBOB ALMOST KILLED THE HARWOOD BUTCHER!" Early shouted unintelligibly as Spongebob pulled Tommy up into a seated position, and nailed him in the back of the head with a right hand, until Tommy nailed Spongebob in the mouth with another hard elbow, then Irish whipped him into the stopped vehicle in the street, with Spongebob colliding chest-first into the trunk! The passengers of the car got out and ran for their lives away from the scene as Tommy lifted Spongebob up. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO THE TRUNK OF THE CAR! Spongebob's blood stained the back of the car as Tommy stood over him and began punching a mudhole into Spongebob's face. . .

. . .until Spongebob kneed Tommy in the balls with a low blow! Tommy clenched his groin in agonizing pain as Spongebob stumbled up to his feet and took Tommy down with another scoop slam before making a mad dash for the parked car in the street!

"Spongebob has escaped the wrath of the Harwood Butcher. . .but where the hell's he going now?" Early wondered, as Spongebob opened the front driver's seat of the car. . .and shut the door before STARTING IT!

"SPONGEBOB IS LOOKING TO HIGHTAIL IT OUT OF HERE!" Early shouted somehow intelligibly. "I DON'T BELIEVE IT! SPONGEBOB'S A COWARD!"

"HE CAN'T EVEN DRIVE, EARLY!" reminded Shake. "HE DOESN'T HAVE A LICENSE!"

Tommy slowly rose to his feet, grimacing in pain as he saw Spongebob pulling away!

"OH NO YOU FUCKIN' DON'T!" Tommy yelled. "YOU AIN'T GETTING AWAY THAT EASILY, SPONGEBOB!"

"Tommy isn't finished with Spongebob, not by a long shot!" Early yelled.

"But how's he gonna catch up to him?" Shake wondered, as Tommy strode toward the parked white Bronco Spongebob tackled him against earlier. . .AND SHATTERED THE FRONT DRIVER'S SIDE WINDOW!

"OH MY GOD!" Early screamed. "HE'S JACKING THAT WHITE BRONCO!"

Tommy got into the car and hotwired it to make it start before rolling down the passenger side window and shouting "GET THE FUCK IN!" to the referee!

"At least he's smart enough to not leave without the referee!" Shake said, as the referee got into the front passenger seat before Tommy floored the gas pedal. . .

. . .AND BEGAN CHASING SPONGEBOB!

"AND A CHASE HAS ENSUED BETWEEN TOMMY VERCETTI AND SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ON LIBERTY CITY'S STAR JUNCTION!" Early shouted, as Tommy sped away from the scene as the show cut back to the arena, where all the fans erupted into cheers, applause, and chants of "TOMMY! TOMMY! TOMMY!"

"UNBELIEVABLE!" Early shouted. "I am absolutely speechless right now! When was the last time you saw a car chase break out at a wrestling pay-per-view?"

"Not in this universe, Early!" Shake answered, "From the brutality that Liberty City Street Fight devolved into, I have NO idea how this match is gonna end!"

"And we will update you on the whereabouts of Tommy and Spongebob as the night goes on, but for now, we must press on with our next match. . .and Shake, I have a feeling. . .that it's gonna get ugly." Early foreboded, as Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest. . .is a First Blood match. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Television Championship!"

The crowd erupted into cheers. . .but turned into MASSIVE boos as "The 'Dashing Cody Rhodes' theme played! Arthur then stepped onto the stage wearing a yellow hooded vest.

"Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .representing the Rookie Revolution. . .from Elwood City. . .he is The First PBS Kid. . .ARTHUR READ!"

Arthur pushed the hood behind his head, revealing a confident grin on his face to more boos from the crowd. As he walked down the ramp, the crowd's boos turned into loud chants of "CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU! CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU!"

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, Arthur Read may be the first PBS Kid to join this business, but after tonight, he may be the last PBS Kid to ever fight for this company! After costing Claude Speed the Toon Hardcore Championship at the XCW Summer Supershow, Arthur's had a great big target on his head, and tonight, Claude's gonna hit that target over and over again, until Arthur is busted open, or worse!" Early informed as Arthur entered the ring above the second rope and came to the center of the ring, raising an arm high above his head, showing the still-booing crowd his Rookie Revolution wristband.

"No he's not, Early!" Shake insisted. "You said it yourself, Arthur's the First PBS Kid! And as the First PBS Kid, he was teaching Claude a life lesson about respecting competition! And tonight, he wants nothing more than for Claude to learn that you can't judge a book by it's cover, and in the case of Arthur Read, he's tougher than Claude, and all these fans think he is!"

Arthur looked around the arena as the fans continued chanting "CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU! CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU!" at deafening levels!

"Well, the XCW fans here in Liberty City certainly do think A LOT of things about Arthur…and NONE of them are good." Early replied. "The First PBS Kid may be a two-time XCW Hardcore Champion, but in order to win the XCW World Television Championship here tonight, Arthur has to bust open a very angry Claude Speed in front of this hostile crowd in his hometown of Liberty City, and that, Shake, is easier said than done!"

Arthur looked up the ramp in anticipation. . .

. . .

. . .until "No Mercy" by Pharaoh Monche played, to deafening cheers from the crowd. . .but Claude was nowhere to be found!

"And Claude's getting a standing ovation from this sell-out hometown crowd as expected. . .but where the hell is he?" Early wondered.

"I have no idea, Early!" Shake said. "As expected, Claude's six-star wanted level had to have returned since he stepped off the plane here. . .somehow, getting arrested before the start of the show tonight wouldn't surprise me—OH MY GOD. . ."

…

. . .AND SAW CLAUDE DRIVING A BLACK PICK-UP TRUCK DOWN THE RAMP!

"AND HERE COMES LIBERTY CITY'S LUCIFER!" Early shouted. "The roof has exploded here in the XCW arena in Liberty City, because Claude Speed has come home, and he's looking to give Arthur a beating that he and these fans will never forget!"

"And his opponent. . .from Liberty City. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .Liberty City's Lucifer. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"

Claude slowed the dented truck full of bullet holes down, eventually coming to a stop right in front of the ring, while Arthur grit his teeth together and looked up at Claude with fury in his eyes!

"From the looks of that truck, Claude HAS had a run-in or two with the Liberty City Police Department. . ." Shake said, as Claude stared Arthur down from the inside of the truck with a malicious glare! ". . .but from the looks of him and Arthur, they're both ready to fight!"

"You're absolutely right, Shake!" Early said, as Claude got out of the truck, while Arthur baseball slid out of the ring and ran toward Claude. . .

. . .WHO NAILED ARTHUR IN THE FACE WITH A SERIES OF RIGHT HANDS! The crowd erupted into cheers of excitement as the bell rang and the match began!

"AND HERE WE GO!" Early yelled. "THE BELL HAS RUNG! FIRST BLOOD BETWEEN LIBERTY CITY'S LUCIFER AND THE FIRST PBS KID, WITH THE XCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP ON THE LINE!"

Claude and Arthur traded right hands on the ringside floor in front of the ramp, as the chants of "CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU!" resumed, but Arthur remained focused on hitting Claude with furious right hand after right hand, until Claude surprised Arthur with a left hand, knocking him back a bit. Claude then grabbed Arthur by the arm, and Irish whipped him forward. . .right into the steel steps, face-first!

"And Claude's not looking to waste any time!" Early observed. "He's going for Arthur's blood, and going for it right here, right now!"

Claude then pulled Arthur up by the shirt and rammed Arthur's face hard into the steel post in front of him! Claude continued slamming Arthur head first into the pole, until Arthur was able to surprise Claude with an elbow to the face that sent Liberty City's Lucifer reeling back a bit. After shaking his head back to reality, Arthur charged toward Claude for a tackle against the pickup truck behind him. . .but Claude caught him in time and knocked him down with a high knee to the face! Claude then pulled Arthur up by his shirt collar. . .and chucked him into the steel barricade, Arthur hitting it head and face first to cheers from the crowd! Claude then pulled Arthur back up, set him on his shoulders in a fireman's carry position. . .and dropped him face-first onto the edge of the barricade!. . .Claude watched Arthur roll onto his back. . .and saw that he wasn't bleeding.

"Claude is just having his way with the First PBS Kid, Shake!" Early said. "And we didn't expect anything different from Liberty City's Lucifer. . .but what's he gonna do here?"

With Arthur down for the moment, Claude reached into his coat. . .and slipped on a pair of brass knuckles on his right hand, to cheers from the crowd as they continued to chant "CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU!"

"From the looks of those brass knucks, it isn't anything good, Early!" Shake said, as Claude taunted for Arthur to stand up, with his brass-knuckle clad fist ready to strike. Arthur rose up to his feet, and Claude ran forward, and nailed Arthur right in the face with the-

-NO! Arthur spun out of the way, causing Claude's fist to hit the ring post! Claude screamed in agonizing pain as he clenched his wrist!

"OOOOOH!" Arthur saw Claude's fist of death coming, and rolled out of the way!" Early cringed.

"Come on, kid!" Shake cheered. "Now you've got an opening against this thug!"

As Claude sold his hand, Arthur was quick to grab Claude's bad arm, and took him down with an armbreaker! Arthur then stood back up. . .AND STOMPED ON CLAUDE'S BAD HAND! Claude let out a cry of pain as Arthur continued hammering away at Claude's hand!

"Great strategy and awareness by the First PBS Kid!" Shake said. "He's going to work on Claude's punching hand, and will until Claude's favorite weapon is rendered useless!"

"Arthur is a smart kid, I'll give you that. . ." Early agreed, ". . .but he's gotta bust Claude open! That's the only way he'll be able to win this match, and the XCW Television Championship!"

After a tenth stomp, Arthur smiled with satisfaction before pulling Claude up and hitting him with a three-punch combination, then Irish whipping him down the ringside floor, sending Liberty City's Lucifer to hit a barricade next to the announcer's table. While Claude shook his right hand, attempting to feel something in it, Arthur charged toward him from behind and took him down with a chop block! Arthur then looked under the ring for a weapon and pulled out. . .a clarinet?

"Arthur's going for blood now, Early!" Shake called, "And he's gonna do it with a—"

"—clarinet?" Early asked, completely befuddled. "You've gotta be kidding me, Shake! There's chairs, there's trash cans, there's all sorts of weapons under that ring, and you're telling me he's gonna bust Claude open with a clarinet?"

"He's not just gonna bust him open with a clarinet, Early! He's going to bust him open. . .with a music lesson!" Shake said, as Arthur turned around and taunted for Claude to stand up, while the crowd chanted "PBS SUCKS!" and clapped five times, before chanting "PBS SUCKS!" again!

"Listen to these fans, Shake!" Early said. "They HATE the First PBS Kid!"

"Yeah? Well, they better get used to him because after this shot, Claude will be seeing stars-" Shake said, until Claude finally stood up to his feet. . .

. . .ONLY FOR ARTHUR TO HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE CLARINET! Claude fell back down to the floor. . .but he wasn't bleeding! Claude sat up against the barricade for a quick breather. . .until Arthur nailed Claude in the face with the clarinet again! Arthur continued hitting Claude with the clarinet over and over again. . .

. . .until Claude caught the clarinet! With the instrument in his grip, and the crowd behind him going nuts with cheers, Claude pulled himself up to his feet. . .and nailed Arthur with a headbutt, forcing him to let go of the clarinet! Claude stared Arthur down angrily with a vicious glare as he raised the clarinet with both hands. . .and broke it in half over his knee! Hurriedly, Arthur looked under the ring apron for a weapon. . .while Claude slipped his brass knuckles on his LEFT hand!

"I don't believe this! Is Claude ambidextrous?" Shake wondered.

"I don't know about that, Shake, but he'll do anything to give the beating that Arthur deserves!" Early answered.

Arthur pulled a steel chair out from under the ring. . .

. . .UNTIL CLAUDE CLOCKED HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES! Claude turned Arthur around. . .

. . .but he STILL wasn't bleeding!

"That shot with brass knuckles may have scrambled Arthur's brain, but it did NOT bust him open!" Early said, as Claude pulled Arthur up and slid him into the ring, along with the steel chair that Arthur got from the ring apron. Claude slid into the ring after him, then saw Arthur trying to crawl away in an attempt to find safety. . .AND PICKED HIM UP BY THE SHIRT COLLAR, BEFORE HITTING HIM IN THE FACE AGAIN WITH THE BRASS KNUCKLES! Claude glared down at Arthur. . .and saw that he STILL wasn't bleeding! Claude grumbled an obscenity under his breath as he stepped toward a turnbuckle and ripped the protective padding off of it, and threw it into the crowd, which was STILL chanting "CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU! CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU!"

"WILL THIS CROWD SHUT UP ALREADY?" Shake yelled. "They're getting on my nerves!"

"They're one hundred percent into this match, Shake!" Early answered. "And they're one hundred percent behind their hometown hero!"

Claude pulled Arthur up to his feet and Irish whipped Arthur toward the exposed turnbuckle. . .but Arthur caught the ropes in time before making impact! Arthur then spun out of the corner and took Claude down with a discus clothesline! Arthur then pulled up Liberty City's Lucifer and positioned him above the chair for the Final Chapter. . .but Claude fought out of it with fierce elbows to Arthur's temples, then took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep on the chair! Claude then rolled out of the ring and looked under the ring apron again for a weapon. . .and pulled out a trash can full of various weapons before sliding it into the ring under the bottom rope. Claude slid back in after it and pulled Arthur back up to his feet. . .only to nail him between the eyes and knock him down with a brass-knuckled fist. . .

. . .

. . .but Arthur STILL wouldn't bleed! Seething with rage now, Claude grabbed the trash can and turned it over, dumping its contents onto the mat, which were a small street sign, a baking sheet, a coffee pot, a sledgehammer. . .and his lucky barbed-wire 2x4! With a smirk, Claude picked up the trash can. . .and set it over Arthur's body, putting the First PBS Kid into the dark!

"Oh no. . .Arthur's been bullied before, but this is ridiculous!" Shake said, as Claude grabbed Arthur by the waistband of his pants. . .

. . .AND CHUCKED HIM INTO A CORNER, ARTHUR AND THE TRASH CAN GETTING WEDGED INTO IT FACE FIRST! Arthur tried to pull himself out of the trash can. . .only for Claude to push Arthur back into it, step onto the ring apron. . .and kick the trash can out of the corner, sending Arthur reeling backwards until he landed on his rear end HARD, screaming in agonizing pain upon impact with the mat!

"And Claude Speed has knocked the First PBS Kid right onto his ass!" Early said, as Arthur stumbled up to his feet. . .until Claude NAILED Arthur in the back of the trash can with a street sign, which sent him down to the mat face-first! While Arthur tried to roll himself out of the trash can, Claude dropped the street sign. . .

. . .

. . .AND PICKED UP THE SLEDGEHAMMER!

"It may be ridiculous, Shake. . .but Claude may seal the victory, and open up a nasty wound on Arthur's face!" Early yelled, as the crowd STILL chanted "CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU! CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU!" Claude then pulled Arthur up to his feet by the waistband. . .and cocked the sledgehammer behind him!

Arthur then stumbled around in a daze. . .

. . .before turning around. . .

. . . .AND GETTING HIT BY CLAUDE'S SLEDGEHAMMER RIGHT IN THE FACE, AND DENTING A HOLE IN THE TRASH CAN! Arthur fell back down to the mat, rolling around in pain as Claude gazed at Arthur with a sick, sadistic smile!

"DEAR GOD, EARLY!" Shake screamed. "CLAUDE HAS LOST IT! CLAUDE HAS GONE BERSERK! HE'S JUST PUNISHING THE FIRST PBS KID, AND THESE PSYCHOPATHS CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT!"

"ARTHUR DESERVES IT, SHAKE!" Early yelled back. "AFTER SCREWING CLAUDE OUT OF THE TOON HARDCORE TITLE, AND BEING A GENERAL THORN IN HIS SIDE FOR THE PAST COUPLE MONTHS, ARTHUR'S BEEN ASKING FOR A RUDE AWAKENING!"

Claude then pulled the trash can off of Arthur's body. . .revealing his face. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .which WASN'T BLEEDING! Claude stood back up, looking down at Arthur with a furious scowl, as he dropped the sledgehammer. . .AND PICKED UP HIS BARBED WIRE 2x4, to MORE cheers and chants from the crowd. . .but Arthur rolled out of the ring!

"That 2x4 has never let Liberty City's Lucifer down since his debut in XCW. . .will it seal the victory for him here?" Early wondered, as Claude taunted for Arthur to stand up. . .but turned around to see Arthur out of the ring!

"Wait a minute! Arthur needs a breather!" Shake said, as Claude stepped toward the ropes and looked down at Arthur, who was on the ringside floor tying his shoe.

"Really, Shake? The ingrate's just tying his shoe!" Early protested, while Claude rolled out of the ring, under the bottom rope!

"You can't wrestle with an untied shoe, Early! You'll break your neck or worse!" Shake insisted as Arthur stood up and turned around. . .

. . .AND ATE A FACEFUL OF BRASS KNUCKLES FROM CLAUDE!

"BUT THE FIRST PBS KID GETS A BRASS FIST FOR HIS TROUBLES!" Early cried, as Claude followed up the brass punch with a left hand to the temple before sliding him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Claude let go of his 2x4, letting it fall to the mat before waiting for Arthur to stand up to his feet. . .

. . .BEFORE GOING FOR THE BICYCLE KICK. . .

. . .but Arthur caught it in time, swung Claude's leg around so that his back was facing him. . .and took him down with a straightjacket neckbreaker! Arthur then grabbed Claude by the hair, and pulled him up to a standing position above a steel chair! Arthur then grabbed Claude's face, and pulled it right into his, forcing Claude to look into his eyes, and hear him say, "You're going to bleed. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .DEFINITELY."

Arthur then put Claude in a side headlock. . .

. . .leapt up. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM ON THE STEEL CHAIR WITH A JUMPING DDT!

"BAH GAWD THAT DDT MAY HAVE KNOCKED CLAUDE OUT COLD!" Early shouted, as Arthur looked down at Claude with a confident glare!

"Did it bust Claude open?" Shake asked, as Arthur turned Claude onto his back. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND SAW HE WASN'T BLEEDING!

"Claude is a tougher son of a gun than Arthur thinks he is!" Early cried. "It'll take more than that to make him bleed!"

Arthur then stood up, pulling Claude up to a standing position by the hair with him. . .and set him up above the chair for another Final Chapter. . .but Claude drove Arthur against the ropes behind him, and ran forward, shaking himself free from Arthur's grasp before grabbing his wrist and Irish whipping him hard across the ring! Arthur ran toward the center of the ring on the rebound. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO A LOU THESZ PRESS FROM CLAUDE! Claude took Arthur down with the press before hammering away on his face with thunderous right and left hands. . .his right hand STILL clad with brass knuckles!

"And Claude Speed is going to town on the face of Arthur Read!" Early cried. "He may have him here!"

"And Arthur may have a concussion by now!" Shake cringed in horror, as Claude looked down at Arthur's face. . .

. . .AND SAW HE WASN'T BLEEDING!

"He may be knocked senseless, but he's not busted open!" Early said. "And that's what Claude has to do to win this match!"

"But Arthur's too tough, Early!" Shake said. "His skin's not gonna give, no matter what Claude does!"

Claude breathed heavily as he looked around the ring. . .

. . .and saw his truck at the end of the ramp!

". . .UNLESS CLAUDE DOES WHAT THE FANS WANT HIM TO DO!" Early screamed, while Claude smirked at the sight of his vehicle to cheers from the crowd!

"Oh no. . .no, Claude, don't do this! He's just a BOY!" Shake cried, as Claude pulled Arthur up to a standing position and slugged him with a right hand before Irish whipping him HARD across the ring, waited for Arthur to bounce back, bent over for a Back Body Drop. . .

. . .BUT ARTHUR STOPPED IN HIS TRACKS AND KICKED CLAUDE IN THE MIDSECTION! Claude reeled back a bit upon receiving the kick, before Arthur kicked him again, and took him down with a sit-out facebuster! Claude struggled to rise to his feet, while Arthur ran against the ropes behind him, went for the Scissors Kick. . .

. . .but Claude spun out of the way in time! Arthur whiffed on the kick. . .

. . .BEFORE CLAUDE CAME UP FROM BEHIND HIM AND LOCKED HIM IN A REAR-NAKED CHOKE HOLD WITH THE SLEDGEHAMMER AGAINST HIS NECK!

"CLAUDE'S GOT ARTHUR IN THE CENTER OF THE RING! HE MAY HAVE HIM HERE!" Early shouted, as the crowd erupted into chants of "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" and "CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU!"

"Give me a break, Early!" dismissed Shake. "There's no submissions in this match! Arthur HAS to bleed-"

"But he can bleed FROM THE MOUTH, TOO, SHAKE!" retorted Early. "And Claude has that sledgehammer pressed up against Arthur's neck so hard, it could crush his throat, and force him to bleed internally! And with no disqualifications come no rope breaks! The First PBS Kid is a sitting duck!"

"NO!" Shake pleaded. "COME ON, ARTHUR! YOU CAN FIGHT OUT OF THIS!"

Arthur gasped and wheezed for breath, but to no avail, as Claude only pressed the sledgehammer against his neck even harder while dropping to his knees, taking Arthur down with him. Arthur tried to elbow and squirm out of Claude's grasp, but Claude kept his grip on Arthur's neck tight! Arthur waved his arms around in a desperation maneuver. . .until they slowly but surely began to fall!

"The First PBS Kid may be out cold, and in the worst possible position for him to be in, but in the best one for Liberty City's Lucifer!" Early said, as Claude wrenched on Arthur's neck once more, until Arthur's body went limp. Claude finally let go of Arthur, letting him and the sledgehammer fall to the mat. Claude then stepped toward his barbed-wire 2x4, and picked it up to raucous cheers from the crowd, who began to chant "WE WANT BLOOD! WE WANT BLOOD!"

"This crowd wants nothing but the blood of an innocent PBS Kid, and this sick, sadistic maniac is gonna spill it! I can't watch!" Shake shouted, as Claude raised the 2x4. . .cocked it back. . .

. . .charged toward Arthur. . .

. . .AND WAS MET WITH A LOW BLOW OUT OF DESPERATION FROM ARTHUR!

"HOW ABOUT THAT? ARTHUR PLAYED POSSUM!" Shake declared, as Claude fell to his knees, clenching his groin in agonizing pain, while Arthur slowly rose to his feet, stepping on a steel chair and sliding it under Claude's head!

"PLAYED POSSUM, MY ASS!" Early said. "Claude almost had Arthur beaten!"

"He's too smart for the thug, Early! And that's why Claude and Jessica aren't gonna have any children any time soon!" Shake said. "But now what's the First PBS Kid gonna do here?"

Claude struggled to rise to his feet while Arthur gasped for breath as he staggered back to a standing position before running against the ropes behind him. . .charging back towards Claude. . .

. . .AND NAILING HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A SCISSORS KICK THAT SENT CLAUDE FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL CHAIR!

"AND ARTHUR NAILED CLAUDE IN THE HEAD WITH HIS HEEL, CONNECTING WITH THE SCISSORS KICK!" Early screamed unintelligibly, as Arthur knelt down and pulled Claude up by the hair. . .

. . .only to find out he wasn't bleeding! Arthur grit his teeth. . .

. . .AND SLAPPED CLAUDE RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE, TO MASSIVE BOOS FROM THE FANS!

"ARTHUR MAY BE THE FIRST PBS KID, BUT HE SURE DIDN'T ACT LIKE ONE! EMBARRASSING CLAUDE IN FRONT OF HIS HOMETOWN CROWD!" Early said with disgust as Arthur pulled Claude's head back up. . .only to receive a huge slug to the face from Claude that knocked him back down to the mat! Both Claude and Arthur were down on the mat in the center of the ring as the crowd began to chant "CLAUDE'S GONNA KILL YOU!" and "X-C-DUB!"

"Bah Gawd, Shake! These two rising stars have beaten the holy hell out of each other, just trying to bust each other open! Who's gonna fuckin' win this thing?" Early wondered, as Claude sold his head in pain as he slowly rolled up to a standing position while Arthur pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes. Arthur turned around and met Claude in the center of the ring with a right hand. . .but Claude fired back with a swift right hand of his own! From there, Arthur and Claude traded right hands, with the crowd chanting "DIE!" in unison with Arthur's punches, and "YEAH!" in unison with Claude's punches! Claude and Arthur continued hitting each other with punch after punch. . .until Claude faltered a bit, favoring his injured right hand!

"And the XCW Television Champion has given Arthur hell, at the expense of his injured punching hand!" Early said, just as Arthur hit Claude with two hard right hands, to louder chants of "DIE!" while Arthur fired another fist toward Claude's temple. . .

"These fans want Arthur DEAD, but the joke's on them, Early!" Shake declared. "Arthur's in the driver's seat-"

. . .ONLY FOR CLAUDE TO NAIL ARTHUR IN THE FACE WITH A LEFT HAND CLAD IN BRASS KNUCKLES!

"NO! ARTHUR'S NOW ON HIS SEAT, THANKS TO CLAUDE TAKING HIM DOWN WITH THE GOOD HAND!" Early screamed, as Arthur fell back down to the mat, covering his face!

"AND I THINK-YES! CLAUDE MAY HAVE GAINED THE VICTORY!" Early shouted, as the referee looked at Arthur, who lowered his hand, revealing his face. . .

. . .WHICH WASN'T BLEEDING!

"NO HE DIDN'T!" Shake snapped back, while Arthur turned to face Claude. . .

"THE FIRST PBS KID IS STILL IN THIS THING-"

. . .AND ATE THE BICYCLE KICK-NO!

ARTHUR DUCKED AT THE LAST SECOND! Claude turned around to look for Arthur, and saw him leap onto the ropes on the adjacent side of the ring. . .

. . .BEFORE TAKING HIM DOWN WITH A DISASTER KICK!

"OHHH! ARTHUR WITH THE DISASTER KICK!" Early cried. "He may have knocked Claude's lights out. . ."

Claude sat up from the blow to his face, rubbing his forehead in pain. . .

. . .

. . .AND SAW BLOOD ON HIS HAND!

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Early shouted. "CLAUDE'S BLEEDING!"

"OH MY GOD!" Shake yelled. "HE DID IT! HE DID IT! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!"

ARTHUR ROLLED INTO A CORNER, SITTING THERE WITH HIS KNEES AGAINST HIS CHEST WHILE CLAUDE SAT UP, HIS MOUTH AGAPE IN DISBELIEF AS THE REFEREE CALLED FOR THE BELL!

"The winner of this match. . .AND THE NEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION OF THE WORLD. . .ARTHUR READ!"

"BUT. . .WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! HOW DID HE DO IT?" Early shouted while the bell rang!

Arthur raised a fist high in the air, screaming "YEAH!" before the referee helped him up to a standing position, and raised his arm in victory before handing Arthur the World Television Championship belt!

"HE DID IT WITH SMARTS, EARLY!" Shake answered. "BECAUSE HE'S THE FIRST PBS KID! HE DIDN'T NEED A WEAPON TO WIN, AND THAT MAKES HIM A GREAT CHAMPION ALREADY!"

"THAT'S BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT, SHAKE!" Early yelled unintelligibly. "HOW DID ARTHUR BUST CLAUDE OPEN?"

Arthur then looked down, and saw that his shoe was untied. Arthur sat down in the center of the ring, and raised his shoe up so its bottom was facing the camera. . .

. . .revealing that his shoes weren't just shoes. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT GOLF CLEATS!

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Early shouted. "THE FIRST PBS KID WASN'T JUST TYING HIS SHOE, HE SWAPPED HIS SNEAKERS FOR GOLF CLEATS, AND GAVE CLAUDE A FACEFUL OF THEM WITH THAT DISASTER KICK!"

The crowd erupted into shouts of disbelief and chants of "BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!" while Arthur stood back up, and raised the title high above his head as he climbed onto a top rope, showing off his World Television title belt. . .while just barely dodging a beer bottle thrown by an angry fan!

"IT'S JUST LIKE I SAID, EARLY! HE WON WITH CLEATS, AND SMARTS! BUT HE DIDN'T JUST BECOME THE XCW TELEVISION CHAMPION TONIGHT, HE TAUGHT CLAUDE A LIFELONG LESSON THAT HE'LL NEVER FORGET!" Shake said. "Tonight. . .Arthur televised the Revolution!"

"And who knows what he'll televise tomorrow night on Monday Night Massacre as the new XCW World Television Champion?" Early wondered, as Claude slowly rose to his feet!

"He'll teach his next opponent, and all of his challengers the same good moral that he taught Claude here tonight!" Shake said, as Arthur got off the top rope. . .

. . .and ran right into Claude in the center of the ring! Arthur looked Claude right in the eye, and raised the Television title next to his head, and with a confident smile, said, "Now the Television title is in the hands of a role model!"

"Uh-oh. . ." Early foreboded, "Claude looks angry. . .and I don't blame him. . ."

Claude just stared Arthur right in the face, seething with uncontrollable anger. . .

. . .as an Albanian man in the front row began to chant one word. . .

"RAMPAGE. . .RAMPAGE. . ."

The crowd around the Albanian man began to chant "RAMPAGE. . .RAMPAGE. . ." with him, and before too long, THE ENTIRE ARENA WAS CHANTING "RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE!" at deafening levels!

"Listen to this crowd, Shake!" Early said. "They know what's coming. . .and so does Arthur!"

Arthur's smile fell into a look of fear as Claude seethed with anger while breathing heavily, and stepping toward the First PBS Kid, forcing him to back up into the corner with no top turnbuckle padding!

"Arthur's the new champion, Early!" Shake said. "He'll throw the book at him, and these fans!"

With Arthur backed up against the corner as far as he could go, Claude stared Arthur down, blood still trickling down his face, as he raised his blood covered fist clad in brass knuckles. . .

. . .while the crowd chanted "RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE! RAMPAGE!" at a fast tempo and high volume. . .

. . .BUT THEY ERUPTED INTO DEAFENING CHEERS AS CLAUDE HAMMERED AWAY AT ARTHUR'S FACE AND BODY WITH RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS!

"AND CLAUDE SPEED IS BEATING THE HOLY HELL OUT OF THE NEW XCW TELEVISION CHAMPION!" Early cried, as Claude hit Arthur in the face with the brass knuckled fist over and over and over again. . .until his glasses shattered!

"DEAR GOD! THIS IS HEINOUS!" Shake screamed. "SOMEBODY STOP THIS! CLAUDE HAS LOST IT!"

Claude then swiped Arthur's glasses off his face before turning him around to face the corner. . .

. . .AND SLAMMING HIS FACE REPEATEDLY INTO THE UNCOVERED TURNBUCKLE! THE CROWD COUNTED ALONG AS CLAUDE RAMMED ARTHUR'S FACE INTO THE CORNER TWICE. . .THREE TIMES. . .FOUR TIMES. . .FIVE TIMES. . .FINALLY STOPPING AFTER THE TENTH TIME, UPON WHICH ARTHUR WAS BUSTED WIDE OPEN!

"AND NOW ARTHUR'S BUSTED OPEN!" Early cried. "CLAUDE MAY HAVE LOST, BUT THEY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED IN THE END!"

"HE SHOULD'VE DONE THAT DURING THE MATCH IN THE FIRST PLACE, EARLY!" Shake shouted. "Claude's nothing but a sore loser!"

Claude backed up, and watched Arthur stumble along the ropes, trying to figure out where he was without his glasses. . .

. . .BEFORE NAILING HIM WITH A BICYCLE KICK THAT KNOCKED HIM OUT OF THE RING AND DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR! Claude then looked around the ring and grabbed his barbed-wire 2x4 and a set of handcuffs before sliding out of the ring, and stepping toward his pick-up truck, where Arthur tried to find the ramp. . .but to no avail, as Claude turned Arthur around to face him. . .AND KNOCKED HIM DOWN WITH A BARBED WIRE 2x4 SHOT TO THE FACE!

"OOOOH!" Early cringed. "Arthur's sight may be bad now, but after getting barbed wire right to the face, there's no telling if it did any MORE damage to his eyes!"

"CLAUDE'S ON A MURDEROUS RAMPAGE, EARLY! HOW CAN THESE FANS LOVE IT? HOW BLOODTHIRSTY ARE THEY?" Shake wondered, as Claude NAILED Arthur in the face with a Superkick that sent Arthur reeling against the ring apron before raising the handcuffs, to more cheers from the crowd!

"NOW WHAT'S CLAUDE GONNA DO?" Shake exclaimed, while Claude grabbed Arthur's hand. . .

. . .AND HANDCUFFED IT TO THE BOTTOM ROPE!

"He's got Arthur right where he wants him, Shake!" Early yelled. "Arthur Read is a sitting duck!"

Blood pouring down his face, Claude walked around to the driver's side door of his truck. . .stepped inside. . .

. . .AND TURNED IT ON!

"NO! NO! NO! CLAUDE, DON'T DO IT!" Early screamed unintelligibly. "YOU BEAT ARTHUR TO WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE! DON'T KILL HIM!"

"HE'S JUST A BOY!" Shake yelled back. "CLAUDE'S GONE TOO FAR! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!"

Claude backed the truck up the ramp, and put it back into overdrive before SLAMMING THE GAS PEDAL-

"NOOO! NOOOO!" Shake screamed. "NOOO! WE'VE GOTTA STOP THIS! SOMEBODY PLEASE. . ."

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL A POLICE SIREN WENT OFF IN THE ARENA!

A PLETHORA OF POLICE CARS, SWAT TRUCKS, FBI CARS, FBI AGENTS, THREE SWAT TEAMS, AND MANY POLICEMEN MADE THEIR WAY FROM THE BACKSTAGE AREA, ONTO THE FLOOR BELOW THE STAGE AND DOWN THE RAMP!

Claude slammed on the brakes of the truck upon hearing the police siren! Claude let out an annoyed sigh as a multitude of policemen ran up to the driver's side of the truck, all of them screaming, "ALL RIGHT, DROP DOWN!"

"Leave it to the Liberty City Police Department to save the day!" Shake exclaimed in relief. "And save the life of the First PBS Kid!"

"And there's nothing Claude can do! The police have him surrounded!" Early said, as Claude reluctantly got out of the truck. . .only to be slammed against it face-first by a cop, who read him his Miranda rights as he was being cuffed!

"YEAH! WHAT'D I TELL YOU, EARLY? ONCE A THUG, ALWAYS A THUG!" Shake exclaimed, as Claude said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. . ." to the cops, who pulled him away, to a police car!

"He gave Arthur such a beating, the law enforcement got involved!" Early said. "And now Claude's going to jail!"

"Right where he belongs!" Shake added, as the cops shoved Claude into the back of the police car before slamming the door!

"Claude may be on his way to prison now, but sooner or later, he WILL be bailed out, and back on the streets once again. You have to think that Arthur Read will STILL be number one on his hit list!" Early said, as another police officer released Arthur from the handcuffs, and caught him before he could fall to the ground.

"And as the new XCW World Television Champion, Arthur Read has to do something to keep Claude out of his sights! Get a bodyguard, a restraining order, or SOMETHING!" Shake said. "Claude's a sociopath, and a two-bit psychopath at that!"

"Claude may be a sociopath. . .but he's also an angry, angry man. . ." Early said with fear.

The police car pulled out of the arena while Claude stared Arthur down with a malicious glare as the show went to a commercial break.

A commercial begins on a closeup shot of black dress shoes standing on a sidewalk.

"I'm a lean, mean, green machine!"

The camera tilts up the man's body, revealing his legs wearing yellow dress pants.

"Got a hyperactive mayhem gene!"

The camera continues tilting up to the man's torso, revealing a white dress shirt and black tie under a yellow suit jacket.

"XCW's ratings have gone down the tubes…"

The camera continues tilting up the man's body, revealing his neck. . .

"With a guy like me, they will not lose!"

. . .until it finally ends on the man's head, with a fancy yellow hat on top of a green latex head, revealing the man to be The Mask!

"XCW claims to be extreme?"

Footage plays of The Mask running down the entrance ramp with Ace Ventura.

"They'll be just that with me on the scene!"

Footage plays of The Mask dodging punches and countering grapple holds.

"Doesn't matter the match I'm in, I put on one hell of a show!"

Footage is shown of The Mask bludgeoning his opponents with various weapons, including an anvil, a plexiglass window, and his signature mallet!

"Who am I, do you really have to ask?"

The Mask gave a jobber The Smokin' End (The Mic Check)!

"When you see my face, you'll know. . ."

A title card appears on screen that says in green lettering: "THE MASK: COMING SOON TO XCW!"

". . .I AM. . .THE MASK!"

The Mask suddenly appeared in front of the title card, looking right into the camera with his trademark green face and yellow hat.

"SSSSSSMOKIN'!"

As the show returned from break, Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table looking stunned in disbelief.

"We're back live on XCW Heatwave, ladies and gentlemen, and I can't believe what we just witnessed!" Early said.

"I can, Early!" Shake quipped. "Arthur Read busted Claude Speed open, won the XCW World Television Championship from Claude Speed, and what did he get in return? He got beaten to within an inch of his life, literally! That two-bit thug would've KILLED the First PBS Kid with his truck if the police didn't step in! I hope he goes to jail, and stays in jail for a long, LONG time."

"And whether you like him or not, you have to congratulate Arthur on his title win. . .but when Claude gets out of jail, he's a dead kid walking unless he finds some protection!" Early added.

"Protection? He should get a restraining order!" Shake said with disgust.

"Well, he needs to get something, all right. . .but switching gears for a moment, ladies and gentlemen, later on tonight, the South Park Four put the XCW Tag Team Championship on the line in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. And we take you to our backstage area live, our temporary backstage correspondent, Haruko Haruhara, stands with Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman to ask them about the match and the events that transpired earlier between their Extremist, Kenny McCormick.

The show cut to the backstage area, where Haruko Haruhara stood next to Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman with a microphone in hand.

"Stan, Cartman. . ." Haruko said, ". . .tonight, you two defend the XCW Tag Team titles against D-Generation Ed and the Mario Brothers in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match, the first match of its kind in XCW history. But earlier tonight, your friend and stable-mate, Kenny McCormick, lost the XCW Hardcore Championship to D-Ed's Son of a Shepherd, Rolf! What does that do to your focus?"

"It does absolutely nothing to it, Haruko, and let me tell you why!" Stan asserted. "Because all Rolf did was add more fuel to the fire by killing Kenny, and winning back the Hardcore title, because when you mess with one of us, you mess with all four of us! He's learned the hard way in the past what happens when you screw with the South Park Four, and since he decided to pussy out and leave the arena before the TLC match, Ed and Double D won't just learn it in his place. . .they're gonna get a rude awakening!"

Cartman stepped forward and took the microphone out of Haruko's hand.

"When it comes to us and D-Generation Ed, things have been taken to a personal level since we debuted in XCW." Cartman said. "But losing the Hardcore title only gives us more incentive to beat them down harder than ever before, and in a match under THESE circumstances, with tables, ladders and OUR chairs surrounding the ring, and OUR titles twenty feet above us, we're only gonna take things from a personal level. . .to a destructive level!

And the Mario Brothers? They're looking to place our gold on their OVERCROWDED mantle. . .well, by the end of the night, they won't be able to think twice about sticking their noses in our business because their brains will be knocked out of their skulls courtesy of The Leader. . .AND The Enforcer of the South Park Four!"

Stan stepped forward and took the microphone from Cartman. "We've summed it up well enough, Haruko. . .our focus hasn't changed one bit. . .because we're amped and ready to avenge Kenny's loss. . .protect our titles. . .and teach the Eds and Mario brother that WE are not only the most dominant tag team in XCW. . ."

Stan handed the microphone back to Cartman, who raised it high above his head.

". . .but we are XCW's AUTHORITAH, which by the end of the night, everybody's gonna respect. . .AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, 'CAUSE THE SOUTH PARK FOUR SAID SO!"

Stan and Cartman strode away from the interview area confidently as the show faded back to the ringside area, where Early and Shake sat at their announcer's table.

"The South Park Four may have lost the Hardcore Championship earlier tonight to Rolf of D-Generation Ed, but they're still as confident as they always have been, and look to even and perhaps settle the score between their longtime rivals here tonight with the Tag Team championship belts hanging high above the ring, which will be surrounded by tables, ladders, and chairs!" Shake said.

"It'll certainly be a destructive affair between the Eds, the South Park Four, and the Mario Brothers, as will our-wait, hold on just a minute, ladies and gentlemen!" Early exclaimed. I'm getting word that our special guest correspondent, Lazlow Jones, has located Tommy Vercetti and Spongebob Squarepants! Lazlow, can you tell us what's happening between the two men?"

"Even better, Early! I can show you!" Lazlow exclaimed, as the show cut to a birds-eye shot of a blue four-door sedan CLEARLY driving towards oncoming traffic at breakneck speed. . .

. . .while Tommy's white Bronco sped behind it. . .

. . .WITH A MULTITUDE OF POLICE CARS WERE ON TOMMY'S TRAIL!

"As you can see, a car chase of unbelievable proportions has broken out in the suburb of Algonquin, and—OH MY GOD!" Lazlow screamed. . .AS BULLETS WERE FIRED FROM TOMMY'S WHITE BRONCO!

"Tommy Vercetti has began to shoot a firearm at Spongebob's vehicle! I believe he is attempting to blow out his tires with each gunshot, but his wanted level is only going to get higher, and. . ." Lazlow paused, as the cops continued chasing Tommy's white Bronco, which was chasing Spongebob's sedan. ". . .yes, I believe I hear a police chopper in the distance! It's only going to get uglier as Tommy and Spongebob only become more and more off-course. Back to you, Early!"

"Thank you, Lazlow. . ." Early said. "My God. . .not only has Tommy's pursuit of Spongebob Squarepants drove the two men off-course, and further away from the XCW arena, which is the only place their Liberty City Street Fight can end, but also the police have gotten involved!"

"'My God' is right, Early!" Shake agreed. "We're not even halfway through the night, and we've seen a match go all the way into the parking lot, we saw Claude Speed get arrested, and the Liberty City Street Fight has turned into an episode of World's Wildest Police Videos! What ELSE is gonna happen here tonight?"

"Well, we can only find out by pressing forward with our slate of extreme matches, and it continues with our next contest for the XCW Women's Championship!" Early said, before the show cut back to the ring, where Plankton stood with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is a Hardcore match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Championship!"

"Brackish" by Kittie played as Peach strutted down the ramp to a chorus of boos. As she walked, she motioned her hands over her waist and taunted the crowd, shouting "TONIGHT IS MY NIGHT!"

"Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .PRINCESS PEACH TOADSTOOL!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, what we are about to see is the first Hardcore match in XCW's history to be contested between female wrestlers! And considering the way the rivalry between these two women has escalated in recent weeks, I have a feeling that even this match will not be for the weak of heart!"

Peach blew a kiss to the referee as she entered the ring. She then climbed to the top of a turnbuckle and blew another kiss toward the commentator's booth, as the fans began chanting "YOU'RE A CRACK WHORE! YOU'RE A CRACK WHORE!"

"I have a feeling these idiots in the stands are gonna be disappointed, Early!" Shake said. "Because Peach is NOT a crack whore! She is a woman of royalty, a fiction wrestling legend, and even a two-time XCW Women's Champion! Not to metion the fact that she has experience in matches of the extreme variety; fighting in No Holds Barred matches and even Steel Cage matches against Kitana in UCA!"

"Those may have been twelve years ago, Shake, but relevant nonetheless." Early retorted. "Plus, Peach went so far as to hug the belt when she got a hold of it last week on Monday Night Massacre! Considering how obsessed Princess Peach has become with regaining the XCW Women's Championship, look for her to show unrelenting fury! But you can't count out the determination of her opponent!"

"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine plays as Sora runs onto the stage with a briefcase in one hand to cheers from the crowd, and raising the Women's Championship belt above her head and towards the crowd with the other hand.

"And her opponent. . .from Odaiba, Japan, she is the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"

"Sora Takenouchi has her fair share of experience in hardcore matches, too, Shake!" Early said. "During her tenure in WWE's Animated division, she's built a 10-3 record in matches with falls count anywhere rules, with victories over Rogue, Misty, and even the WWE Hall of Famer, Sailor Moon! And ever since regaining the XCW Women's Championship at Nightfire last month, Sora has set a standard for women's wrestling here in XCW, and is determined to keep herself in the discussion about the best female wrestlers in this industry, and I have a feeling that whatever's in that briefcase will play a part in that!"

Sora strode down the ramp and slid the briefcase under the ring apron before climbing onto a turnbuckle and posing, raising the Women's title belt towards the fans.

"I don't give a damn what's in that briefcase! If you ask me, she's due for a rude awakening, Early!" Shake said. "Sora may be the Women's Champion here in XCW, but she's not royalty! Peach earned her way in this match, got her way when she made the match stipulation, and will send Sora crying home to Tai just by breaking her nail!"

". . .did you even listen to a word I just said?" Early asked his broadcast partner.

"I heard what I wanted to hear." admitted Shake, while Sora stepped off the turnbuckle and charged toward Peach, who was running toward her, and the two met in the center of the ring trading right hands as the bell rang and the match began!

"And these two rivals aren't looking to waste any time, and this Hardcore match for the Women's Championship is officially underway!" Early said while Sora and Peach continued punching each other until Sora managed to catch a right hand, and whack Peach in the chest with a fierce knife-edged chop! With Peach vulnerable, Sora locked Peach into a collar-and-elbow tie-up before taking her down with a hip toss! Sora pulled Peach back up and took her down with another hip toss, then ran against the ropes behind her, only for Peach to take her down with a drop toe hold, forcing Sora to hit the mat face-first! Peach pulled Sora up by the hair and put her in a tie-up of her own and charged toward the corner, tackling the XCW Women's Champion right into it. Peach hammered away at Sora's body with right and left hands, culminating with a throat thrust before leaping up for a spinning wheel kick, but Sora ducked, and shoved Peach toward the opposing corner. Peach hit the corner back-first. . .and was met with a lariat to the face from Sora! Sora went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out!

Sora pulled Peach up to her feet and went for another chop, but Peach parried it in time with her right arm, then slapped Sora across the face before taking her down with a Snapmare, then locking her in a chin-lock! Sora winced in pain as Peach intensified the hold. . .but Sora managed to get a grip on Peach's arms and pull herself up to her feet before hitting Peach in the sternum with a series of elbows to the gut that finally broke her free! Sora Irish whipped Peach across the ring. . .but Peach countered that with an Irish whip of her own, then took Sora down with an arm drag on the bounce back! Peach went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

Peach pulled Sora up to her feet. . .and was immediately met with another knife-edged chop! Sora continued to hit Peach with chop after chop until she was backed up against the ropes, then Irish whipped her across the ring. As Peach bounced back, Sora leapt up for a Monkey Flip, but Peach dropped her with a choke bomb to the mat, then leapt onto her with a splash, and proceeded to hammer away at Sora's face with vicious punches and slaps!

"Peach saw the Monkey Flip coming a mile away, and now she's wailing away at the face of the current Women's Champion!" Early said, as the fans began to chant "CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!"

"And turned on this raucous crowd, by the sound of things!" Shake added. "They want nothing more than breasts and blood tonight!"

Peach continued punching and slapping Sora in the catfight, but Sora fought back with strikes of her own as they rolled toward the ring apron! Sora and Peach would trade slaps and pull each other's hair until they rolled under the bottom rope and fell to the ringside floor, with Sora landing back-first on the concrete! Peach didn't stop clawing and scratching Sora's face. . .until Sora fought back with a headbutt to Peach's face! Peach pulled herself up with the barricade while Sora slowly sat up and rose to a standing position, then Irish whipped her into the ring apron chest-first! Sora then went for a spinning heel kick to Peach's back, but with her grip on the bottom rope, Peach leapt up and landed behind Sora, then put her in a waist-lock before lifting her up for a Reverse Gutwrench Takedown. . .but Sora fought out of it with a Back Body Drop! Sora waited for Peach to stand up, then drove her against the barricade with a tackle! Sora then Irish whipped Peach into the nearest set of steel steps, and Peach collided into them with a sickening thud! Sora quickly went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out!

"Sora's got a fire in her eyes tonight, Shake!" Early said, as Sora stood up and looked under the ring apron for a weapon.

"She's even the first one to bring a weapon into this match!" Shake said. "She wants to put Peach away once and for all!"

Sora came out of the ring apron with a steel chair in hand. . .and nailed Peach across the back with it-or would have, if Peach didn't roll out of the way. Peach rose up to her feet and hit Sora in the side with a soccer kick before throwing her into the ring post, her head whacking into it with a clang!

"GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THAT SOUNDED LIKE IT HURT!" Early cried, as Peach pulled Sora up by the hair and went to ram her face back into the post. . .but Sora fought out of it with back elbows to Peach's head and face! With Peach reeling backwards a bit, Sora went for a kick to the midsection, but Peach was able to regain her composure, catch it in time and take Sora down to the floor with a Dragon Screw! Peach went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

"Peach may have regained some much needed momentum in her quest to reclaim "her" prize. . ." Early said, ". . .but even under these Hardcore circumstances, Sora won't go down that easily!"

Peach stood up from the cover, pulled Sora up by the hair and slid her back into the ring under the bottom rope before looking under the ring apron for a weapon of her own, while Sora ran across the ring. . .and baseball slid right into Peach, causing the Mushroom Kingdom Princess to collide right into the barricade behind her! Sora picked the chair up and this time, managed to nail Peach across the chest with it! Sora raised the chair above her head again. . .but Peach kicked Sora in the lower leg, causing her to falter a bit, and drop the chair. Peach sat up, then rose to her feet before chucking Sora right into the barricade next to the ramp! Peach pulled Sora up to a standing position by the hair once more and slapped her viciously across the face, then back down to the floor with a boot to the face as the crowd began to chant "TROPHY WIFE! TROPHY WIFE! TROPHY WIFE!"

"This capacity crowd doesn't take a liking to Princess Peach, so they're telling the challenger exactly how they feel about her!" Early said, as Peach turned to the fans in front of her and shouted "SHUT UP!"

"They're being completely disrespectful, if you ask me! Peach is far from a trophy wife; she's a multiple-time Women's Champion in multiple companies, AND she's royalty!" Shake said. "These fans need to leave Peach alone!"

Peach continued screaming at the fans. . .

. . .until Sora took Peach down with a school boy pin attempt! 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out!

"And they just about cost Peach the match! Can you believe that, Early?" Shake said, disgusted, as Peach rolled up to her knees, scowling at Sora with a fierce look of anger.

"Sora took advantage of Peach's distraction and got a near-fall, but Peach looks about as vicious as a coyote right now!" Early said.

Peach stood up and charged toward the Crestbearer of Love, meeting her in a tie-up at the foot of the ramp. Peach drug Sora up the ramp until she got a knee to the face from Sora, but Peach stopped Sora's comeback before it began by spinning Sora around by the hair. . .and swung her down to the ramp, causing Sora to hit it face-first! Sora clenched her jaw in pain until Peach rolled her onto her back for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

Peach pulled Sora up to her feet by the arm and went for a reverse DDT, but Sora countered out of it, spinning around to face Peach. Sora then hit Peach with a knee to the gut, then draped her arm over her back before lifting her up. . .and taking her down with a Snap Suplex onto the ramp! Sora went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

"So far, nary a weapon has been used in this Women's title matchup under hardcore rules. . ." Early said, ". . .but the Women's Champion, and her biggest rival to date in XCW are using the environment to wear each other down in the meantime!"

Sora pulled Peach up to her feet and Irish whipped her. . .until Peach countered it into an Irish whip of her own that sent Sora back-first into the ring apron! Peach ran down the ramp and went for a discus lariat to Sora's head. . .only for Sora to surprise Peach with a kick to her jaw! With Peach dazed, Sora stepped onto the ring apron behind her. . .and sized Peach up. . .as the crowd began to chant "SORATO'S CANON! SORATO'S CANON!"

"Now, THAT chant hits pretty close to home for the XCW Women's Champion!" Early said, as Sora widened her eyes in shock upon hearing the chant. . .then her face turned bright red, with a huge blush.

"WOW….I would be SO embarrassed. . ." Shake called.

Sora shook her head back into reality before looking back down at Peach, who was still laying on the ringside floor. Sora then leapt off the ring apron. . .and landed a diving leg drop onto Peach!

"BAH GAWD, SORA JUST TOOK PEACH DOWN FACE-FIRST ONTO THE FLOOR WITH THAT LEG DROP! AND SHE MAY HAVE HER HERE!" Early called, as Sora went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out! Sora then strode to the ring apron and looked under it for a weapon. . .then came out of it with a 2x4, another steel chair, and the briefcase from earlier. With her grip on the briefcase, Sora waited for Peach to rise to her knees before charging forward with the case cocked back. . .

. . .but Peach spun out of the way! Sora whiffed on the briefcase shot before Peach grabbed a hold of her. . .and this time, took her down with a reverse DDT! Peach went for a cover of her own 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

Peach pulled Sora up to her feet and slid her back into the ring under the bottom rope as the Mushroom Kingdom Princess slid both steel chairs, the 2x4, and Sora's briefcase into the ring behind her, then looked under the ring apron for more weapons. . .and this time, came out with a giant circular mirror! Peach gazed into the mirror with wide eyes and an even wider grin before sliding it into the ring, and walking into the ring after it!

"Uh-oh. . ." Early foreboded. "From the look on Peach's face, I can't help but shudder to think about what's going through her mind at this very moment!"

"I can, Early!" Shake said. "She was making sure she looked okay! A fight under these circumstances could do irreparable damage to a woman's incredibly good looks, and Peach can't afford that! She's a freakin' hottie, if you ask me!"

Peach picked up one of the steel chairs and raised it high above her head as she stared down Sora. . .until Sora managed to kick Peach's feet out from under her! Sora then slowly rose up to her feet. . .grabbed a hold of Peach's legs. . .and catapulted her face-first into a nearby corner! Peach reeled around the ring in a daze until Sora caught her. . .and took her down with a Northern Lights Suplex on the chair! Sora then pushed Peach off the chair and went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Peach kicked out! Sora then grabbed a fistful of Peach's hair before pulling her up. . .only for Peach to fight out of her grip, and slug her in the chest with a throat thrust. Sora sold her ribs in pain while Peach stepped toward the other chair and picked it up. . .before ramming its top edge right into Sora's sternum! Sora fell to her knees. . .clenching her torso in pain. . .until Peach whacked Sora across the back with the chair three more times! Peach then dropped the chair and watched Sora sell her lower back in pain as she rose up to her knees. . .until Peach ran against the ropes behind Sora, and on the bounceback, took her back down with a bulldog! Peach went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!

"Both Sora and Peach have gotten their fair share of offense and weapons in since returning to the ring!" Early said, as Peach stood up from the cover and picked up the mirror before beginning to argue with the referee, insisting that the count was three, but the referee asserted that the count was only two. . .but Peach didn't let up, screeching in the referee's face until he was backed into a corner. Meanwhile, Sora slowly rose up to her feet. . .and grabbed the steel chair by her side!

"Peach is one angry woman, and I don't blame her!" Shake said. "She's been wronged all night by these fans, by Sora, and now the referee! And Sora may weasel her way back into this thing!"

Sora then charged toward Peach. . .raised the chair. . .

. . .BUT PEACH SPUN OUT OF THE WAY, LEAVING THE REFEREE RIGHT INTO SORA'S PATH! Sora nailed the referee square in the face with the steel chair, knocking him down! Sora looked down at the referee in concern. . .while Peach picked up the mirror!

"Oh no!" Early exclaimed, as Sora turned around. . .

"Sora just. . .took out the-OHHHH!"

. . .AND GOT HIT SQUARE IN THE FACE WITH THE MIRROR BY PEACH!

"SHE HIT HER IN THE FACE!" Shake screamed while the fans erupted into a frenzy of boos, as Peach raised the now-cracked mirror high above her head, with wide eyes and a sadistic smile!

"MY GOD, PRINCESS PEACH JUST NAILED SORA RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A MIRROR! THAT'S A GLASS MIRROR RIGHT TO ANOTHER PRETTY WOMAN'S FACE!" Early screamed, as Sora laid prone on the mat, covering her face with a free hand until Peach laid the mirror across her face!

"TAI, IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS, CHANGE THE CHANNEL! COVER YOUR EYES! DO ANYTHING BUT WATCH THIS THING!" Shake cried, as Peach ran against the ropes behind her. . .

"NO, PEACH! THE TITLE'S NOT WORTH THIS!" Early shouted, as Peach bounced back. . .

. . .AND SHATTERED THE MIRROR RIGHT INTO SORA"S FACE AGAIN WITH A LEG DROP! Peach then picked the mirror up, and stared down Sora, who was prone on the mat, and busted wide open, with blood flowing down her face like a geyser!

"PEACH HAS LOST IT! PEACH HAS ABSOLUTELY BY GAWD LOST IT! AND SORA MAY HAVE CUT AN ARTERY!" Early screamed unintelligibly, while the fans chanted, "YOU SICK BITCH! YOU SICK BITCH! YOU SICK BITCH!"

"PEACH HASN'T LOST IT, EARLY! THIS IS A HARDCORE MATCH! SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS, AND THAT INCLUDES BUSTING SORA OPEN!"

Peach's mouth stretched out to a wide, sick grin as she laid the now-incredibly shattered mirror across Sora's torso. . .ran against the ropes in front of her. . .bounced off them before leaping up. . .

. . .AND SMASHING THE MIRROR INTO SORA'S CHEST WITH A JUMPING FOOT STOMP!

"BAH GAWD, THIS. . .THIS MATCH MAY BE OVER!" Early cried. . .as Peach went for a cover, hooking the leg. . .while the referee slowly rose to his knees, crawling toward the pin attempt!

"YES! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!" Shake shouted, before the referee counted 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SORA KICKED OUT! Peach shot up from the cover, eyes incensed with rage!

"NO! SORA KICKED OUT! SOME HOW, IN SOME WAY, SORA TAKENOUCHI KICKED OUT!" Early shouted unintelligibly.

"BUT SHE'S LOSING BLOOD BY THE BUCKETLOADS, EARLY!" Shake said. "Peach'll dispose of her faster than Mario disposes of Goombas!"

Peach then drug Sora by the hair under the bottom rope. . .and stomped on the back of the referee's head for good measure, knocking him out!

"OH COME ON! WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?" Early shouted with disgust.

"The referee didn't do his job, Early!" Shake answered. "Not by Peach's standards!"

Peach then strode back to Sora, who was lying under the bottom rope. . .until Peach hit her in the ribs with a soccer kick that sent her tumbling down to the ringside floor, causing her to hit it with a thunk! Peach stepped out of the ring over the second rope and skipped onto the floor with a cheerful smile on her face. . .as she ripped the protective covering off of the Spanish announcer's table!

"Peach is tearing the Spanish announcer's table apart just as fiercely as she did to the pretty face of Sora Takenouchi!" Early called, as Sora pushed herself up to her feet while Peach pulled all of the television monitors out of the table. Peach then strode back toward Sora and pulled back a fist for a punch to her temple. . .but Sora was quick to strike with a boxer jab to her jaw!

"Sora's still going! How the hell is this possible?" Shake wondered, as Sora kickboxed Peach with a high kick to the face that sent Peach reeling backward a bit.

"Sora's fighting not only with the drive to shut Peach's trap, but also with the desire to keep the XCW Women's Championship! That shows that Sora has the heart of a fighting champion!" Early said, as Sora went for a lariat. . .

. . .but Peach managed to duck it, wait for Sora to turn around to face her. . .and tackled her against the Spanish announcer's table!

"She may have that kind of drive, but look where that's got her now!" Shake said. "Peach has the right state of mind to drive her through Slowpoke and Speedy's announcer's table!"

Peach then turned Sora around and rammed her head and face-first into the announcer's table before lifting her legs and sliding her full body onto the table before stepping onto it herself while a small mouse wearing a sombrero carried a lanky mouse on his back as he zipped across the floor.

"The Spanish commentators are hightailing it out of here, and I don't blame 'em!" Early screamed. "Peach has cracked! She's demented! She's forcing Sora to bleed all over their table, and she's about to break her body through it, all just to regain the XCW Women's Championship!" Early cried, as Peach pulled Sora up. . .and nailed her in the face with a European uppercut. . .before putting her in position for a powerbomb!

"She can do WHATEVER SHE WANTS, Early! There's no disqualification!" Shake cried, as Peach lifted Sora up-

-or would have, if Sora didn't ram a back elbow into Peach's temple!

"NO! SORA'S STILL ALIVE, ALBEIT NOT WELL!" Early yelled, as Sora continued squirming in Peach's powerbomb position, as the Mushroom Kingdom Princess tried to lift her up. . .

. . .BUT SORA ROSE BACK UP TO A STANDING POSITION WITH A BACK BODY DROP THAT SENT PEACH FLYING OFF THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER'S TABLE, AND RIGHT THROUGH SHAKE AND EARLY'S ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!

"OH MY GOD! SORA TAKENOUCHI COUNTERED OUT OF CERTAIN DOOM, AND SENT PEACH FROM THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER'S TABLE, AND RIGHT THROUGH OURS! AND SORA LOOKS LIKE A HOUSE OF FIRE RIGHT NOW!" Early shouted unintelligibly as she stepped off the announcer's table, her teeth grit and eyes wide with intensity as the crowd chanted "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"MORE LIKE A PIG IN A BUTCHER SHOP, EARLY! SHE'S A MESS!" Shake cried, as the referee slowly drug himself out of the ring, coming back to consciousness. Sora pulled Peach up by the hair. . .only to take her back down onto the remains of the table with an STO! After the referee made it to the ringside floor, Sora crawled on top of Peach for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 PEACH HIT SORA WITH A PUNCH TO THE TEMPLE AS SHE KICKED OUT! Sora was knocked backward off the cover upon impact, and laid with Peach on the rubble of the table in a crumbled heap as the fans continued chanting "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" Peach slowly rolled onto her chest, and pushed herself up to her feet, still cringing in pain while Sora wiped the blood from her face, but to no avail as more trickled down her face, and onto the remains of the table!

"My God, it looks like a car wreck out here! Our table has been destroyed, Peach is in excruciating pain, and Sora Takenouchi is bleeding like a stuck pig!" Early cried. "The way this match is going, I shudder to think that one or both of these women could very well leave the XCW Arena in a body bag!"

Peach eventually came to a standing position, and scanned the ringside area for a weapon, only to pull Sora up by the hair. . .tilt her chin up to force her to look into her eyes. . .

. . .AND SLAPPED HER VICIOUSLY ACROSS THE FACE! The crowd erupted into a chorus of boos as Sora fell face-down to the floor, until Peach rolled her onto her back and went for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .SORA KICKED OUT! Peach pulled Sora back up to her knees. . .AND SLAPPED HER ACROSS THE FACE ON THE OTHER CHEEK! As Sora collapsed to the ringside floor once again, Peach looked down at her hand. . .saw Sora's blood on it. . .

. . .AND WIPED IT ALL OVER HER FACE!

"Oh. . .my. . .God. . ." Early stammered in disbelief! "Shake, disrespecting the champion is one thing. . .but Peach is REVELING in this! She's ENJOYING all the pain she's putting Sora through here tonight!"

"And she isn't through, Early! Not by a long shot! This next one may slap more than the taste of blood out of Sora's mouth. . .it may knock her COMPLETELY out!" Shake called, as Peach grabbed Sora by the arm. . .went for one more slap. . .

. . .BUT SORA BLOCKED IT IN TIME, AND TOOK PEACH DOWN WITH A LARIAT! Slowly rising to her feet, Sora stepped around the ringside area, and picked up one of the TV monitors lying on the ground. Sora waited for Peach to stand up, as she sold her face in pain. . .turned around to face the Women's Champion. . .

. . .AND SORA HIT HER RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE TV MONITOR! Peach fell to the ground, her face busted open upon impact! Sora threw the monitor down to the floor before going for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 PEACH KICKED OUT!

"THE WOMEN'S CHAMPION JUST GAVE PEACH A TASTE OF HER OWN MEDICINE, BUT IT DIDN'T PUT HER AWAY!" Early shouted.

Sora grimaced with frustration as she pulled Peach up by the hair and slid her back into the ring under the bottom rope before stumbling around the ringside area, eventually coming to the side of the ring nearest the ramp. Sora knelt down, rummaged under the ring apron, and pulled out her briefcase!

"There's that briefcase Sora came out with when this match began. . .I don't know how she made it to the other side of the ring, let alone remembered it was still there!" Shake said, as Sora slid into the ring with the briefcase in hand!

"As badly as Peach wants to regain the XCW Women's Championship, Sora wants to keep it just as much, Shake! I don't know what's in that briefcase, but I have a feeling that it's gonna be exactly what Sora needs to finally put Peach away!" Early said, as Sora saw Peach pulling herself up with the ropes across from her, and set her briefcase down in a corner. Sora then charged toward Peach. . .leapt up for a rolling somersault neckbreaker. . .

. . .but Peach caught her in mid-air! Peach set her on her shoulders, turned around and dashed forward. . .before crushing Sora onto a steel chair with a pumphandle slam!

"NOOOO! SORA'S BACK MAY BE BROKEN AFTER THAT CRUSHING IMPACT AGAINST THE STEEL CHAIR!" Early shouted, as Peach went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SORA KICKED OUT! Peach rose up from the cover, her eye twitching. . .until another sly smirk formed on her face as she rolled out of the ring.

"Sora's 'never say die' attitude may be getting on Peach's last nerve. . .but now what's she going for?" Early wondered, as Peach pulled out. . .a burlap sack?"

"There's all kinds of weapons in that very ring, Early. . .Peach may be pulling out HER OWN EQUALIZER!" Shake declared, as Peach rolled back into the ring, and stared Sora down as she rose to her feet. . .

. . .dumped out the bag's contents onto the mat. . .

. . .REVEALING THEM TO BE THUMBTACKS!

"AWWWWW YEEEEEAAAAH…" Shake exclaimed, as the crowd erupted into chants of "PSYCHO! PSYCHO! PSYCHO!"

"Thumbtacks! My God. . .this crowd is RIGHT to chant that towards this woman. . .but let's not forget that there's a curse associated with this weapon!" Early informed. "Emmy tried using them against Gwen Tennyson months ago in an "I Quit" match, only for them to be used in the Alpha Bitch's favor, and eventually HER victory, and Randy Orton tried using them against Mick Foley in a Hardcore match. . .only to land on them himself!"

"Give me a break, Early! Peach is in the driver's seat, and has been tearing Sora Takenouchi to shreds. . .LITERALLY since the start of this match! And after that pumphandle slam, this match is CLEARLY in the favor of the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom!"

Peach taunted for Sora to stand up, while the Women's Champion staggered up to her feet, more blood dripping from the gash on her forehead, onto the mat of the wrestling ring. Sora reached for the second rope in front of her, but fell back onto her face from exhaustion. . .only to keep crawling toward the ropes!

"The blood staining the mat tells the story. . ." Early foreboded. "Sora Takenouchi has lost a lot of it since Peach shattered a glass mirror onto her face. . .but some how, in some way, Sora continues to use her drive, her will, all of the spirit that she has to fight back!"

"But everything comes to an end, Early!" Shake said. "And Peach looks poised to end Sora's comeback before it starts, end her reign as XCW Women's Champion, and end this blood soaked contest!

Sora managed to pull herself up with the ropes, and turned around to face Peach. . .

. . .who draped her leg over Sora's chest. . .

. . .but Sora managed to knock her off with a couple back elbows! Sora turned around to face Peach's back, put her in a waist-lock. . .and took her down with a German suplex! With the waist-lock still applied, Sora pulled Peach back up. . .and took her down with ANOTHER German suplex! Sora kept her grip on Peach's waist as she rose up to her feet, wincing as she fought back her fatigue. . .

. . .BUT PEACH KICKED SORA IN THE SHIN! Sora faltered down to one knee, selling her leg in pain!

"And there goes the momentum Sora had. . ." Early said, as Peach pulled Sora back a bit. . .

. . .draped her leg over Sora's chest. . .

. . .AND TOOK HER DOWN WITH AN INVERTED OVERDRIVE ONTO THE THUMBTACKS!

"OHHHHHH MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD!" Early screamed unintelligibly, as Sora screamed in agonizing pain with a multitude of thumbtacks stuck in multiple places in her back!

"THE CURSE IS BROKEN! THE CURSE IS FINALLY BROKEN!" Shake yelled, as blood trickled down Sora's back through a few holes in her back made by the thumbtacks. Sora let out another screech as Peach crawled toward her, shoving her shoulders down onto the mat for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

"SORA'S BACK MAY EVEN BE BROKEN. . .

2\. . .

". . .AT THE HANDS OF. . ."

. . .2.75 SORA SOMEHOW KICKED OUT!

". . .THE NEW WOMEN'S CHAM-NOOOOOOOOO!" Early shouted, as Peach sat up from the cover in disbelief! Quickly, she grabbed Sora by the hair and lifted her back up, then Irish whipped her across the ring, and waited for her as she bounced back. . .

. . .BEFORE TAKING HER DOWN WITH A ROLLING SUPLEX! Peach rolled onto her back, and lifted Sora up for another suplex. . .but Sora somehow countered out of it, landing on her feet behind Peach, and clubbing her in the back of the head with a swift right hand! Peach sold her head in pain while Sora stumbled forward and picked up a 2x4 at her feet. As Peach slowly stepped toward Sora's briefcase, Sora came up to Peach from behind. . .

. . .AND TOOK HER DOWN WITH A WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP, WITH THE 2x4 AGAINST PEACH'S NECK!

"CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW IN THE HELL SORA CAN MUSTER THE STRENGTH TO DO THIS? IT'S SUPERHUMAN!" Shake screamed unintelligibly.

"SHE'S PULLING OUT ALL THE STOPS, SHAKE! SHE'S WEARING THE PROVERBIAL CRIMSON MASK, BUT IT COULD COME WITH THE WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP AROUND HER WAIST!" Early shouted, as Sora crawled toward her briefcase in the corner, and opened it!

"Sora's FINALLY going inside her briefcase. . .but what the hell could she have up her sleeve, of all people?" Early wondered. . .as Peach staggered up to her feet, clenching her neck as blood of her own ran down her face from her forehead. Shrieking, Peach ran toward Sora, aiming low for a chop block. . .

. . .but Sora rolled out of the way, causing Peach to run right into the corner, her shoulder colliding right into the ring post! Peach screamed in excruciating pain as she struggled to pull herself out of the corner. . .then turned around to face Sora. . .

. . .WHO TOOK HER DOWN WITH A HEADBUTT, CLAD IN HER LUCKY BLUE HAT!

"HER HAT! HER LUCKY HAT! SORA RESURRECTED HER FAVORITE WEAPON DURING THE ATTITUDE ERA OF WWE'S ANIMATED DIVISION!" Early yelled unintelligibly, as Sora slipped the hat off her head before collapsing on top of Peach for a cover! 1. . .

". . .ON HER WAY. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

". . .TO RETAINING. . ."

. . .2.75 PEACH KICKED OUT!

"OH MY GOD, HOW IN THE HELL DID PEACH KICK OUT?" Early wondered aloud while Sora let out a groan as she rolled off the cover, lying face-up on the mat!

Both women were down in the center of the ring, with weapons surrounding each of them as the crowd began to chant "THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!"

"BAH GAWD, SHAKE. . .THESE TWO WOMEN HAVE BEATEN THE HOLY HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER!" Early yelled. "THEY'RE BATTERED, THEY'RE HURT, THEY'RE BRUISED. . .THEY'RE WEARING THE PROVERBIAL CRIMSON MASK. . .WHO THE HELL IS GONNA WALK OUT OF HERE AS THE XCW WOMEN'S CHAMPION?"

"I HAVE NO IDEA, EARLY!" Shake answered, as Sora and Peach rolled toward opposite sides of the ring and pulled themselves up with the ropes. "THESE TWO WOMEN HAVE DONE EVERYTHING BUT BROKE EACH OTHER'S NAILS, AND SOMEHOW, THEY'RE NOT ONLY STILL ALIVE, BUT THEY'RE STILL FIGHTING!"

Sora and Peach managed to make it back to their feet, and they met in the center of the ring and began trading punches, but significantly slower than earlier in the match, due to the fatigue of each woman. Peach gazed at Sora with a sadistic smirk on her face, covered in Sora's blood as well as her own. . .while Sora stumbled as she stared at Peach across the ring, her eyes wide with intensity as blood covered her face, chest, AND back, still pierced with thumbtacks. . .but Sora STILL managed to nail Peach in the face with a right hand, with the crowd cheering in unison with it. . .only for Peach to fire back with a punch of her own, which the crowd booed in unison with. . .both women continued trading right hands, until Sora caught Peach by surprise with a left hand, finally giving her the upper hand! Sora continued to hit Peach in the face with more right hands until she was backed up against the ropes. Sora then Irish whipped her across the ring. . .ran toward Peach as she bounced back. . .

. . .AND TOOK HER DOWN WITH A ROLLING SOMERSAULT NECKBREAKER!

"AND SORA TAKENOUCHI FINALLY CONNECTED WITH THE SOMERSAULT NECKBREAKER THAT SHE LIKES TO CALL 'THE HEARTSTOPPER!'" Early cried, as Sora went for a cover! 1. . .

. . .

"BUT SORA'S HEART WILL BEAT ON. . ."

2\. . .

". . .AS WILL HER REIGN. . ."

. . .

. . . . . .2.9999999999999999 PEACH KICKED OUT!

". . .AS WOMEN"S CHAM-NOOOOOO! BAH GAWD, PEACH KICKED OUT!" Early screamed unintelligibly, as Sora rose to her knees, breathing laboriously as she thought about what to do next.

"SORA TAKENOUCHI'S PUT PEACH THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE, HEADBUTTED HER WITH HER LUCKY HAT, AND SLAMMED HER ONTO A CHAIR. . .BUT PEACH IS UNRELENTING! WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO?" Early asked aloud while Sora knelt on top of Peach's back. . .

. . .AND LOCKED IN THE CROSSFACE!

"THE CROSSFACE! THE CHAMPION'S GOT THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN!" Early cried.

"COME ON, PEACH! YOU'RE ROYALTY, YOU GOTTA FIGHT OUT OF THIS THING!" Shake cheered, as the referee knelt down and asked Peach if she wanted to quit. Peach violently shook her head no as she reached for the bottom rope in front of her, but to no avail, as Sora only intensified the hold. . .

. . .but Peach rolled to her right, taking Sora with her. . .

. . .AND LANDING HER BACK-FIRST INTO THE THUMBTACKS AGAIN! Sora yelped in unprecedented pain as she let go of the hold, and Peach limped up to her feet before grabbing Sora by the foot. . .dragging her into the center of the ring. . .and laying a steel chair across her torso!

"Peach using the thumbtacks to her advantage yet again. . .but now what's she doing?" Early wondered. . .as Peach stepped toward a corner, and climbed up to the top rope. Peach then sized Sora up, staring her down and motioning her hands over her waist from the top rope with the same wide grin as the crowd began chanting, "PEACH SUCKS DICK! PEACH SUCKS DICK!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?" Shake exclaimed, as Peach turned around and screamed "SHUT UUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP!" to the fans in the stands, who only continued chanting "PEACH SUCKS DICK!" at a deafening level!

"THEY DON'T WANT PEACH TO WIN, SHAKE. . ." Early said. . .AS PEACH LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE. . .

". . .BUT THIS COULD BE IT-"

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND BENT THE STEEL CHAIR IN HALF AS SHE CRUSHED IT AGAINST SORA'S BODY WITH THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH!

"PRINCESS PEACH TOADSTOOL TOOK A PAGE OUT OF HER HUSBAND MARIO'S PLAYBOOK!" Early cried, as Peach threw the chair toward another side of the ring and went for a cover! 1. . .

"AND IT'S HELPED HER BECOME. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

". . .THE WOMEN"S CHAMPION. . ."

. . .

. . .2.9999999999 SORA KICKED OUT!

". . .FOR THE THIRD TIME-OR MAYBE NOT!" Early shouted, as the crowd erupted into cheers of shock and awe! Peach slapped the mat repeatedly in frustration. . .before yelling and whining in a temper tantrum!

"SORA KICKED OUT YET AGAIN. . .AND PEACH HAS HAD ENOUGH OF IT!" Shake declared.

"THE PRINCESS OF THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM HAS REDUCED HERSELF TO A LITTLE INFANT GIRL BECAUSE SHE JUST CAN'T PUT SORA AWAY!" Early cried, while Peach seethed in anger and tugged hard enough at her hair to pull out a clump or two. . .

. . .until she broke out into high-pitched laughter?

"Uhhh…what's on Peach's mind? A funny comic strip?" Shake wondered, as Peach's laughter. . progressed into maniacal cackling as she rolled out of the ring and looked under the ring apron. . .

"I don't think I want to know, Shake. . .Peach looks like she's lost EVERYTHING, from blood to her sanity-"

. . .AND PULLED OUT A TABLE AND A CANISTER OF LIGHTER FLUID!

"—AND SHE DAMN WELL HAS!" Early shouted, as Peach slid the table into the ring under the bottom rope, cackling maniacally as she slid back into the ring and set the table up in the center of it. Sora managed to slowly pull herself up to her feet with the ropes next to her. . .but Peach took her back down by nailing her in the face with the lighter fluid canister!

"How Mario can tolerate this woman, Shake, I have no cotton-pickin' idea!" Early shouted. "Peach has gone psychotic! She's absolutely berserk!"

"And she's about to become the XCW Women's Champion for a third time, Early! So what does that tell ya?" Shake replied, as Peach stood in front of the table in the center of the ring. . .raised the canister. . .and doused the table in lighter fluid until the canister was empty!

"That tells me that XCW's entire women's division is in for a nightmare, Shake!" Early answered. "Peach will rule with an iron fist, and inflict the same amount of pain on every woman that challenges her that she's put Sora through here tonight. . .if not more!"

Peach then pulled out a matchbook. . .lit a match. . .

. . .AND SET THE TABLE ON FIRE!

"OH MY GOD….." Early exclaimed, as Peach gazed at the flames with a sadistic smirk until she wiped the blood from her face, and turned around to face Sora, who was catching her breath in the corner. Sora kicked Peach in the midsection, only for Peach to fire right back with a clothesline in the corner! Peach then grabbed Sora by the hair. . .AND PULLED HER UP TO THE TOP ROPE!

"NO….." Early shouted. . .AS PEACH CLIMBED UP TO THE TOP ROPE BEHIND HER!

"THIS IS IT! THE NAIL IN SORA'S COFFIN IS A NAIL ON FIRE!" Shake declared, as Peach put Sora in position for a powerbomb!

"NO…NO…." Early foreboded. . .as Peach raised Sora up. . .

. . .LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE. . .

. . .

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . . . . .BUT SORA COUNTERED THE POWERBOMB IN MID-AIR INTO A SORACANRANA THAT PUT PEACH THROUGH THE TABLE FIRST!

THE CROWD ERUPTED INTO CHEERS AND GASPS OF DISBELIEF WHILE SORA AND PEACH WERE BOTH DOWN IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" EARLY SHOUTED, AS PEACH QUIVERED AND ROLLED AROUND THE RING, TRYING TO PUT OUT THE FIRE ON HER DRESS AND HAIR!

"SHE'S ON FIRE! SOMEBODY PUT HER OUT!" Shake cried, as Sora wormed closer to Peach, whose flames died down. . .

. . .and draped both arms over her chest for a cover! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .3!

"BAH GAWD, THIS MATCH IS FINALLY OVER!" Early yelled, as Sora and Peach laid motionless in the ring while the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .AND STILL THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING WOMEN'S CHAMPION. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"

"SHAKE, I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST WITNESSED! THIS SELLOUT CAPACITY CROWD CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT THEY JUST WITNESSED! THEY JUST SAW TWO WOMEN IN ONE OF THE FIERCEST RIVALRIES IN THIS BUSINESS TAKE EACH OTHER TO THEIR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL LIMIT, AND THEN SOME! SORA IS DOWN, PEACH IS DOWN. . .WILL BOTH WOMEN EVER BE THE SAME AFTER WHAT JUST TRANSPIRED BETWEEN THEM HERE TONIGHT?"

The referee bent down and raised Sora's arm above her head in victory before resting the XCW Women's Championship

"I HAVE NO IDEA, EARLY!" Shake cried. "I don't know if we can TAKE another match like this! Look at this, there's blood all over ringside, our table is ancient history, there's bits of ANOTHER table in the ring smoldering, and Peach's skin and hair may be burnt to a crisp!"

A multitude of EMTs ran down the ramp with gurneys as they slid into the ring and checked the pulses of both Sora and Peach.

"Don't forget about the champion, Shake. . .Peach cut an artery on Sora's forehead when she used that mirror. . .who knows how much blood Sora lost during this contest. . .but despite that, despite getting slammed onto chairs, thumbtacks, and the concrete floor, Sora Takenouchi persevered through it all, and in the end, will be leaving this arena with the XCW Women's Championship around her waist!"

The EMTs slid Peach onto a stretcher, and out of the ring, onto a gurney before pushing it back up the ramp. Another group of EMTs started to load Sora onto a stretcher. . .

. . .but Sora weakly pushed them off, as she managed to get up onto one knee, while the fans began chanting "SHE'S HARDCORE! SHE'S HARDCORE! SHE'S HARDCORE!"

"I blame these idiot fans for what happened between these two women tonight!" Shake yelled. "These barbarians wanted blood, they wanted fire, they jeered the hell out of Peach for no apparent reason. . .who's to say what would happen if these fans weren't so bloodthirsty?"

Sora wiped the blood from her face, but to no avail as more seeped from the gash on her head. . .and smiled at the fans. . .before raising the Women's title belt high above her head and letting out a triumphant scream!

"You call them bloodthirsty barbarians, Shake. . .I call them passionate!" Early said, admiring the chant of the fans. "They admire Sora for putting her body on the line like she and Peach did here tonight, and they delivered with one hell of a fight. . .and after tonight, for my money, Sora Takenouchi should DEFINITELY be in the discussion regarding the best pure wrestler in this industry!"

Sora fell back down to one knee, upon which the EMTs loaded her onto a stretcher, and onto a gurney outside the ring.

"But who knows if her sanity is still intact, Early?" Shake asked. "Who knows who will challenge for her place atop the women's division of XCW? Hell, who even knows if she'll recover in enough time, if at all, to even defend the title?"

As the referees and EMTs pushed Sora's gurney up the ramp. . .Sora raised the XCW Women's title belt up one more time, to more cheers from the crowd, and chants of "SHE'S HARDCORE! SHE'S HARDCORE!"

"There's no doubt in my mind that she'll be back, Shake!" Early replied. "Just as there's no doubt in my mind that Sora Takenouchi has set the bar high for female wrestlers not only in XCW, but this business entirely!"

The EMTs pushed Sora's gurney through the entranceway, and into the backstage area as the show faded to a video package.

The video package began with a shot of Mario standing in the ring across from Bugs Bunny with a microphone up to his mouth.

"I'M A CHAMPION OF LIFE!"

The package dissolved to an image of Mario leaping off the top rope and landing the Super Mario Splash onto Bugs in the center of the ring.

"MARIO IS XCW'S FIRST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!" Early shouted, as the package faded to an image of Mario raising the XCW World Heavyweight Championship high above his head, and pointing up at the ceiling as red and blue confetti fell all over the ringside area.

"Mario has all that and more-" Shake said, as the video package faded to a shot of Mario raising a peace sign high above his head, with the XCW World title draped over his shoulder while he strode down the ramp. . .until static began to cut sporadically into the image before blanketing the image completely in it.

Suddenly. . .

. . .the image cut to an interior shot of a dimly-lit warehouse, with the lone ceiling light flickering on and off, and a water pipe dripping onto the floor from the ceiling. In the center of the image sat a large tool shelf, and the camera zoomed in closer to it. . .while faint screaming and crying for help could be heard in the distance.

"If the government becomes the lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law." said a gravelly male voice. "It invites every man to become a law unto himself. . .it invites. . .ANARCHY."

The image's zoom-in ended on a close-up shot of the contents on the tray of tools; revealing them to be. . .a large red wrench, a gasoline canister, a car battery with jumper cables, a set of pliers, and a full syringe.

The screaming in the background grow louder and louder. . .until the package cut to black, until a singular word appeared on screen before the video package ended. . .

ECHO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, there's part one! I hope it was worth the wait. As always, let me know if there's anything I need to improve with my match writing, or if anyone did something out of character.
> 
> As far as that promo at the end of the chapter. . .if you know whose appearance it was teasing, PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL IT! The build toward this is going to be fun for the next series of chapters, promise!
> 
> Anyway, the next part of Heatwave will come soon, until then, please READ AND REVIEW!


	39. XCW Heatwave: Part 2

Hey guys! No time to explain where I've been and what I've done…just read the next chapter! I only own my championships.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

As XCW Heatwave returned from commercial break, Kenny McCormick strode down a hallway until Haruko Haruhara came up to his side with a microphone in hand.

"Kenny McCormick," Haruko asked, stopping Kenny in his tracks. "Up next, Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh will defend the XCW Tag Team Championships in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match against D-Generation Ed and the Mario Brothers. Should they successfully retain the titles tonight, will it be satisfying for you, despite losing the XCW Hardcore Championship earlier tonight to Rolf?"

"MPPH! Mph mpph mph mmhmm mph MPH!" Kenny muffled under his coat unintelligibly, his brow furrowed in anger. . ."Mmppph mph mpph mph mpphmmh mmphm mphm! Mmppph mph mpph mph mpphmmh mmphm mphm mpm Mmppph mph mpph mph mpphmmh mmphm mphm! Mphm mphm mpph mppph mph mpph mph mpphmmh mmphm mphm-"

. . .UNTIL A WHITE BRONCO CRASHED THROUGH THE WALL BEHIND HIM!

"OH MY GOD!" Early shouted. "THEY KILLED KENNY!"

"YOU BASTARD!" Shake screamed. "WHO IS THIS GUY, SOME ALCOHOLIC?"

Smoke billowed out from under the hood of the car as Haruko slowly stepped towards it, cautiously stepping over Kenny's dead body before watching someone open the front driver's door of the car from the inside, and stick his head out, revealing himself to be-

"TOMMY VERCETTI!" Early cried.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Shake exclaimed. "TOMMY ACTUALLY MADE IT!"

"Oh my God, they're here…." Haruko said, before unlatching a walkie-talkie from the waistband of her pants and speaking into it. "This is Haruko…Tommy and Spongebob are here, switch the ropes NOW! I repeat, SWITCH THE ROPES!"

Haruko ran away from the scene as Tommy coughed laboriously with blood still trickling down his face from earlier. He also had a gash on his cheek, his shirt was torn and soaked in seawater, and a small piece of dragon-printed wallpaper was stuck to his back.

"My God, Tommy's in bad shape, Early!" Shake observed. "He and Spongebob were gone forever. . .what do you think took them so long to get here?"

"I have no dadgum idea, Shake. . .but it'll make for one hell of a story!" Early said, as Tommy stumbled out of the white Bronco and stepped back outside. . .

. . .to see Spongebob's car collide into another portion of the wall! Spongebob rolled down his window, and shouted "YEAH! I MADE IT!", as a pufferfish expanded to a massive side from his front passenger side seat.

"OH SPONGEBOB….WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?" the pufferfish wailed, while Tommy limped toward Spongebob's car.

"BECAUSE I AM THE GREATEST, MOST EXTREME WRESTLER ALIVE…." Spongebob answered, getting out of the car. . .and facing Tommy!

"…AND WWT'S END MUST BE AVENGED!" Spongebob screamed as he charged toward Tommy. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A HIGH KNEE! Tommy collapsed onto the grass, only for Spongebob to pull him back up by the hair, and whack him in the chest with a karate chop! Spongebob raised his arm for another karate chop. . .but Tommy blocked it with his arm, then nailed Spongebob in the face with a headbutt before Irish whipping him back towards his car! Spongebob hit the hood of his car chest and ribs first before Tommy came up from behind him and nailed him with a high knee to the back! Tommy then pulled Spongebob's face up from the car window. . .and thrust it back down. . .

. . .but Spongebob caught Tommy by surprise; putting him in a headlock and dropping him with a Russian leg sweep! With Tommy down, Spongebob then opened the driver's side door of his still-running car and flipped a switch, popping open the car's hood. Spongebob then strode to the front of the car, pulling the hood wide open before pulling Tommy up to his feet and chucking him right into the side of the hood, with Tommy hitting the car HARD ribs-first. After an elbow to the back of his head, Spongebob grabbed onto the raised hood of the car. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED IT REPEATEDLY AGAINST THE BACK OF TOMMY'S HEAD!

"OH DEAR LORD!" Early cringed. "SPONGEBOB IS GOING TO TOWN ON THE BACK OF THE HARWOOD BUTCHER'S HEAD!"

Spongebob continued to smash the hood of the car against Tommy's head….until he nailed it into his head so hard….

…IT KNOCKED HIS FACE INTO THE RUNNING ENGINE! Tommy screamed in agonizing pain as the car machinery burned him!

"BAH GAWD, SHAKE!" Early shouted, as Tommy fell limply down to the ground with his right cheek burnt, while Spongebob finally let go of the car hood, letting it stay open. "SPONGEBOB MAY HAVE BURNT TOMMY'S FACE OFF!"

"Come on, Early! It's only second-degree!" Shake insisted. "If anything, Spongebob needs to go FARTHER! Keep him under there!"

Spongebob then pulled Tommy back up to his feet and away from the car, staring him down with intense, wide eyes before Irish whipping him toward the driver's side door. . .but Tommy countered it into a drop toe hold, smashing Spongebob's face right through the driver's side window!

"Spongebob was about to drive the final spike into the chest of Tommy Vercetti, but instead he got his face driven right into the glass of that car window!" Early said, as Tommy sat up against the car, catching his breath while Spongebob fell forward, laying in the front seat of the car in a crumbled heap, until Tommy finally came to one knee and struggled to rise up to his feet.

"My God Early, I don't know how much more energy these two men have here!" Shake observed. "They've gotta be running on fumes after their fight on Star Junction, after their car chase all across Liberty City…they might not even make it to the ring at this rate!"

"Tommy wants to end his two-month long losing streak, Spongebob wants to avenge the end of WWT. . .with their motivations clear-cut, Shake, there's no way they're not in this till the end!" Early declared.

Tommy finally came to a standing position and opened the front door of the car, immediately grabbing Spongebob's leg and pulling him out of the car, but leaving his face to rest on the floormat of the driver's seat. Tommy then bent down and gripped the back of Spongebob's head, ramming it into the bottom edge of the seat before resting his other hand on the car door. . .letting go of Spongebob's head. . .

. . .AND SHUT THE CAR DOOR ONTO SPONGEBOB'S THROAT! Tommy continued to slam the car door down onto Spongebob's throat, with Spongebob struggling to get out of the door's path, but to no avail, as he started coughing up blood!

"JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST!" Shake shouted. "He's gonna break Spongebob's voice box!"

"Can you blame him, Shake?" Early questioned. "Spongebob's spread nothing but a bunch of crap about Tommy since his arrival to XCW! If there's one thing the Harwood Butcher hates about the Showstoppin' Sponge, that's also annoying to everyone else, it's his voice!"

Tommy finally left the car door open, letting Spongebob slide out of the car, and onto the sidewalk, bleeding from the mouth. Tommy then looked down at Spongebob, screaming "TOLD YOU I'D SHUT YOU UP! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE…" as he grabbed onto the back of Spongebob's head….and pulled him onto the trunk of the car!

"What the hell is Tommy gonna do here?" Shake wondered, as Tommy kept his grip on Spongebob. . .AND PULLED HIM ONTO THE ROOF OF THE CAR!

"Whatever it is. . .it looks to be the literal nail in Spongebob's coffin!" Early cried, as Tommy nailed Spongebob in the face with a three-punch combination clad in brass knuckles! Spongebob was left in a daze until Tommy tied up Spongebob's arms. . .

. . .lifted him up for the Vercetti Driver. . .

. . .but Spongebob fell out of it behind Tommy, then clubbed him in the back with a punch before whipping him around by the arm to face him, lifting him up and taking him down with a scoop slam on the roof of the car!

"Spongebob almost saw his whole life flash before his eyes, but found a way to cheat death!" Early said, as Spongebob slowly staggered up to his feet, then pulled Tommy up to a standing position. . .

". . .now what does the Showstoppin' Sponge have in mind?" Shake wondered, as Spongebob picked Tommy up. . .set him on his shoulders. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM OFF THE CAR AND DOWN TO THE CONCRETE BELOW WITH THE TIDAL WAVE!

"OH MY GOD!" Early screamed unintelligibly. "TOMMY VERCETTI MAY BE BROKEN SMACK-DAB IN HALF!"

"HIS BACK MAY BE HISTORY, EARLY!" Shake declared, before Spongebob let out a weak laugh. . .AND JUMPED OFF THE CAR, LANDING ONTO TOMMY WITH A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP!

"SO MUCH PAIN AND HATRED IS BEING EXPRESSED IN THIS MATCH….WILL IT EVER GET TO THE ARENA?" Shake shouted, as Spongebob rolled forward after making impact with Tommy's torso. . .and looked up to see the main doors of the arena in the distance. Spongebob grinned upon their sight, revealing bloody teeth, then rose up to one knee and grabbed Tommy the shirt collar, dragging his chest and face against the concrete.

"Wait no more, Shake!" Early said, "Because the cavalry is coming. . .but from the look of that bloody grin on Spongebob's face. . .he's got a trick up his sleeve. . .but nevertheless, these two men are, and HAVE BEEN, in a dangerous situation here. . ."

Spongebob finally stepped onto the sidewalk and came to the arena's front doors. . .until Tommy stopped him in his tracks with a brass-knuckled punch to his kidney. Spongebob winced in pain as he pulled Tommy up into a headlock, then continued stepping toward the arena's entrance. . .only to receive ANOTHER kidney punch from Tommy! Spongebob turned around and went for an uppercut to Tommy's face. . .but Tommy slugged him in the face with a brass-knuckled fist before taking him down with a backbreaker against his knee! Tommy staggered up to a standing position before pulling Spongebob up by his pants and chucking him face-first into a column! Spongebob left a massive blood stain on the stone of the column as he reeled away from it. . .

. . .AND GOT CAUGHT INTO A STANDING SPINEBUST—

-NO! SPONGEBOB DROPPED OUT OF IT BEHIND TOMMY AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A NECKBREAKER!

"SPONGEBOB MAY BE BLEEDING OUT OF HIS FACE AND MOUTH, BUT HE STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!" Early cried, as Spongebob forced himself up to his feet, grabbed Tommy by the collar and drug him ever closer to the large glass windows of the arena. Spongebob then stood in front of the glass window. . .raised Tommy's leg. . .

. . .gripped his sides. . .

. . .AND T-BONE SUPLEXED HIM RIGHT THROUGH THE GLASS WINDOW! The crowd screamed in shock as Tommy hit the linoleum floor of the arena's lobby before beginning to chant "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"OH MY GOD! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!" Early screamed. "SPONGEBOB JUST DROVE TOMMY VERCETTI RIGHT THROUGH THAT GLASS!"

"THAT'S IT! HE'S DEAD!" Shake declared, watching Tommy lie on the glass-covered floor. "AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S BEEN THROUGH, HE'S GOTTA BE DEAD!"

Spongebob then stepped through the shattered window, pulled Tommy up to his feet. . .gripped his sides again. . .

. . .AND T-BONE SUPLEXED HIM THROUGH ANOTHER GLASS WINDOW! The crowd continued to shout in disbelief as Tommy landed HARD on his left shoulder AND more glass on the sidewalk!

"Good grief…." Early said. "Spongebob is just having a FIELD DAY as he keeps putting Tommy through those massive glass windows of the XCW Arena!"

"And there's a pretty good reason why, Early!" Shake said. "As you mentioned earlier, this used to be a soda factory! Those windows are flimsy and cheap, but sharp nevertheless-"

As Shake spoke, Spongebob pulled Tommy up by his left arm, causing Tommy to wince in pain from the impact his left shoulder just went through. Spongebob then gripped Tommy's sides. . .

. . .

. . .hooked Tommy's leg. . .

. . .

. . .BUT TOMMY HEADBUTTED SPONGEBOB OFF HIM! Tommy quickly grabbed Spongebob's arm. . .

. . .

. . .AND IRISH WHIPPED HIM THROUGH ANOTHER GLASS WINDOW!

"OH MY GOD!" Shake screamed, as Spongebob landed on the linoleum floor of the arena lobby, while Tommy collapsed to his knees on the outside, hitting more glass shards with his right shoulder!

"AND SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS HAS JUST RECEIVED A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE, GOING HEAD AND FACE FIRST RIGHT THROUGH THE GLASS! " Early screamed, as Tommy staggered up to his feet, clenching his right shoulder, which had started bleeding, while Spongebob rolled onto his chest, revealing glass shards sticking out of his back, and tried to crawl away from Tommy.

"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" Tommy shouted toward Spongebob, who tried to push himself up to his knees and crawl faster, but Tommy jogged up to him, and nailed him with a kick to the back, then another kick to his sternum! Tommy then grabbed Spongebob by the pants and tried dragging him across the floor. . .but in weakness, fell forward and landed on the ground!

"Tommy can't even stand up anymore, Early!" Shake observed. "Might as well stop this match! Both of these guys are incapacitated!"

"I told you earlier Shake, these two may be down, but that's not going to stop them from finishing this damn thing!" Early said, as Spongebob wheezed for breath while Tommy did the same, rolling onto his chest and looking up to see a stagehand pulling a large flatbed wagon full of musical equipment. "HEY! HEY MAN!" Tommy shouted, slowly rising to one knee and grabbing the attention of the stagehand, who reeled backward in shock of seeing Tommy's blood covered face and body, prompting Tommy to charge toward him in a frenzy! The stagehand then quickly ran away from the scene, leaving the pull cart full of equipment unattended! Tommy limped toward the pull cart with a sadistic smirk before reaching onto it and removing a bungee cord keeping the equipment off the cart and putting it into his pocket. Tommy then reached one of the instruments off the top. . .while Spongebob managed to finally rise to his feet and come up from behind him!

"Tommy may have found a weapon to bludgeon Spongebob with, but the Showstoppin' Sponge may have him cornered!" Early cried, as Spongebob went to latch a full nelson lock onto Tommy from behind. . .but Tommy nailed him in the face with a back elbow, then took him down with a vicious running clothesline! Tommy then stepped back to the pull cart and pulled a case off the top, then unzipped it, and pulled out its content. . .

. . .AN ELECTRIC GUITAR!

"Where the hell did that come from?" Shake wondered. "Is Love Fist on a reunion tour?"

"Maybe so, Shake. . ." answered Early, as Tommy raised the guitar, holding it like a baseball bat. . .

. . .while Spongebob staggered up to his feet and stepped forward in a daze. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO A GUITAR SHOT TO THE FACE FROM TOMMY!

". . .but maybe that did enough damage to satisfy Tommy Vercetti!" Early added, as Tommy lifted Spongebob back onto his feet and drug him toward a nearby hallway, which had a sign that said "ARENA ENTRANCE IS THAT-A-WAY!" with an arrow pointing forward. Tommy went to ram Spongebob's face into a nearby wall, but Spongebob nailed Tommy in the nads with a low blow! Tommy wailed in agonizing pain as he clenched his groin area and fell down to his knees. . .

. . .or, he would have if Spongebob hadn't pulled him by the collar, gripped the back of his head, and smashed it right into the opposite wall. . .

. . .THEN DRAGGING IT FORWARD ALONG THE WALL, LEAVING A LONG TRAIL OF BLOOD ON THE WALL BEHIND THEM!

"Early. . .I don't know how much more of this I can take. . ." Shake cringed.

"Tommy Vercetti promised to paint Liberty City red with Spongebob's blood. . ." reminded Early, ". . .but the last thing he wanted was for Spongebob to do it for him!"

Spongebob continued dragging Tommy against the wall until another stagehand drove by in a golf cart. . .

. . .UPON WHICH, HE TOSSED TOMMY IN FRONT OF THE GOLF CART-

"OH NO-"

. . .but the cart's driver slammed the brakes on it just in time before it could hit Tommy head-on!

"OH THANK GOD! Tommy Vercetti may have seen his life flash before his eyes as that golf cart came to a stop!" Early cried.

"I'm surprised he hasn't seen them since the beginning of this match, honestly. . ." Shake quipped, as Spongebob kicked Tommy in the chest before striding toward the driver's side of the golf cart, until the stagehand ran off it screaming, "IT'S YOURS! IT'S YOURS!" and sprinting away from the scene!

"Even our stagehands don't want to get caught in the crosshairs of these two, Shake!" Early observed. "They're so focused on tearing each other limb from limb, and they've lost so much blood, that they've entered a rabid state! They're unpredictable!"

"Unpredictable is right, Early!" Shake agreed, as Spongebob turned around to face Tommy. . .

. . .WHO SPAT RIGHT INTO HIS FACE!

"AND I BET SPONGEBOB DIDN'T PREDICT THAT!" Shake continued, as Spongebob reeled backward, wiping the loogie from his face!

"Spongebob hit Tommy with a cheap shot below his belt earlier, Shake. . .Tommy thought it was about time to resort to the same measures!" Early said, as Tommy staggered up to his feet and slugged Spongebob with an uppercut before taking him down with a double-arm DDT right onto the concrete floor!

"BAH GAWD, SPONGEBOB MAY HAVE LOST IQ POINTS AS TOMMY DROVE HIS HEAD INTO THE EXPOSED CONCRETE!" Early cried, as Tommy nailed his sternum with a falling elbow before standing back up, and pondering his next move.

"He's a sadistic son of a bitch, Early. . .but now what's he gonna do?" Shake wondered, until Tommy snapped his fingers in realization. . .reached into his pocket. . .and pulled out the bungee cord from earlier. . .

. . .AND TIED IT AROUND SPONGEBOB'S LEGS, BEFORE HOOKING IT TO THE BACK OF THE GOLF CART!

"Oh. . .NO. . ." foreboded Shake!

"Spongebob has nowhere to go. . .except for WHEREVER TOMMY'S GOING. . ." Early cried, as Tommy sat in the driver's seat of the golf cart. . .

. . .AND BEGAN ACCELERATING IT, DRIVING THE CART WHILE DRAGGING SPONGEBOB DOWN THE HALLWAY BY THE LEGS, HIS FACE AND BODY RUBBING AGAINST THE CONCRETE BELOW, LEAVING AN EVEN LONGER TRAIL OF BLOOD ON THE FLOOR!

"Well, if anybody's wondering where Tommy and Spongebob are off to now, they're pretty easy to find!" Early shouted, as Shake could be heard groaning in sickness in the background!

"For Spongebob's sake, it better be a short trip. . .but that doesn't look to be the case, judging by that smile across Tommy's face!" Shake commented, as Tommy drug Spongebob down the hallway with the golf cart. . .

. . .until he turned a corner. . .

. . .AND DROVE THE GOLF CART ONTO THE STAGE IN THE ARENA! All the fans cheered with excitement as Tommy finally made it to the arena with Spongebob in tow!

"It may have been a long trip, but these fans here in the XCW Arena are glad to see Tommy back in their presence in Liberty City!" Early said, as Tommy looked forward at the barbed wire ropes surrounding the ring. . .and flashing another sadistic smile.

"I don't know what he could be more happy about, Early. . .the fact that he's finally arrived to see all these fans. . .or that the ring has barbed-wire ropes!" Shake said, as Tommy slammed his foot on the gas pedal of the golf cart, dragging Spongebob down the ramp. . .until he reached the foot of the ramp, upon which, he made a sharp right hand turn. . .

. . .AND WHIPPED SPONGEBOB BACK-FIRST AGAINST THE STEEL STEPS, TO MASSIVE CHEERS FROM THE CROWD! Tommy then finally stepped out of the golf cart and unhooked the bungee cord from the car, but keeping it around Spongebob's neck as he walked toward him. . .

. . .only for Spongebob to strike him in the abdomen with a throat thrust that sent Tommy down to one knee. Spongebob then slowly rose to his feet. . .and slapped Tommy viciously across the face to massive boos from the crowd!

"SPONGEBOB SUCKS! SPONGEBOB SUCKS!" chanted the fans, as Spongebob grabbed Tommy by the collar, and rammed his face right into a steel pole before taking him down with a snapmare, then hit him in the back of the head with a boot to the face! Spongebob then pulled Tommy up by the head again and slid him into the ring under the bottom rope!

"Just minutes ago, these two men finally made it to the XCW arena. . .and now, despite being pulled like a trailer on a truck down a hallway, and the ramp, Spongebob Squarepants has regained control in this matchup, and has Tommy in the ring, where pinfalls and submissions can finally be counted!" Early informed. "And after everything we've seen from these two men tonight, and after everywhere they've been, I have a feeling that the end of this match may be in sight!"

"And if Tommy doesn't recover in the next minute, the end of his two-month long losing streak may NEVER BE in sight." Shake added, as Spongebob climbed onto the steel steps. . .AND THEN UP THE TOP ROPE!

"Meanwhile, Spongebob Squarepants is going airborne!" Early observed, as Spongebob sized Tommy up. . .

"SPONGEBOB IS GOING HIGH RISK—"

. . .leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDED THE HEADSPRING! Spongebob winced and twitched in the ring upon making impact with Tommy's head!

"AND BOTH BLOODIED HEADS OF TOMMY AND SPONGEBOB HAVE COLLIDED IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!" Early shouted, as Spongebob went for the cover! "AND THAT MIGHT BE ALL SHE WROTE!"

The referee made the count, 1. . .

"BECAUSE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

". . .HAS PROVEN HIMSELF AS—"

. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT!

"NOOOOOOOO! TOMMY KICKED OUT! TOMMY KICKED OUT!" screamed Early, unintelligibly. "AFTER A CAR CHASE, AFTER GETTING THE TIDAL WAVE FROM THE TOP OF A CAR, AFTER GETTING HIS FACE BURNED AGAINST A RUNNING CAR ENGINE, THE HARWOOD BUTCHER, TOMMY VERCETTI, IS SOMEHOW, SOME WAY STILL ALIVE IN THIS THING!"

Spongebob shot up from the cover in complete and utter shock! Grinding his teeth (what was left of them, anyway), with all the strength he had, Spongebob pulled Tommy up to his feet, and chucked him into a nearby corner. . .

"He might not be for long, Early!" Shake declared. "Because he may be the first man to taste the barbed wire ropes—"

. . .BUT TOMMY BASEBALL SLID ONTO HIS BACK, JUST BARELY MISSING THE BARBED WIRE!

"But Tommy Vercetti, the man who came up with the idea for this crazy match in the first place, wisely avoids contact with the barbed wire, thanks to great ring awareness!" Early said, as Spongebob backed himself up against the opposite corner. . .

. . .

". . .but he's not aware of Spongebob right now, Early!" Shake said. "He's about to blindside him!"

. . .screamed, "WWT FOREVER…."

. . .then charged toward Tommy, who turned around. . .

. . .RIGHT INTO A GORE FROM SPONGEBOB THAT SENT TOMMY BACK FIRST INTO THE CORNER OF BARBED WIRE!

"GORE! GORE! GORE!" Shake yelled. "SPONGEBOB MAY HAVE MADE TOMMY REGRET MAKING THIS MATCH AFTER GORING HIM INTO HIS OWN BARBED WIRE ROPES!"

Spongebob pulled himself out of the corner, his right shoulder now bleeding after coming into contact with the barbed wire. . .but Tommy's back was a bloody mess, leaving another bloody trail as Spongebob pulled him back into the center of the ring!

"I don't think that was just a regular Gore, Shake. . ." Early said, ". . .but no matter what kind of Gore it was, Tommy Vercetti's shirt is torn, and his back is shredded! By God, this HAS to be over. . ."

Spongebob went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT! Spongebob punched the mat in utter frustration!

"NOOOO! SOMEHOW, TOMMY VERCETTI STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!" Early cried. "TOMMY VERCETTI IS GOING ON NOTHING BUT INSTINCT AND PURE ADRENALINE RIGHT NOW!"

"MEANWHILE, SPONGEBOB IS INCENSED!" Shake observed as Spongebob rose to his feet, stomping on Tommy's chest repeatedly before pulling Tommy back up by the shirt, eventually ripping part of it off, then Irish whipping Tommy toward the barbed-wire ropes-

-but Tommy leapt backwards before making impact with the ropes and nailing Spongebob in the face with a back elbow! Both Tommy and Spongebob were down in the center of the ring. . .while Tommy crawled toward a corner!

"Both of these men are hurt, they're battered, they're bruised, they're bloodied as hell, they've shortened their careers, and probably their lives. . .but they're still going at it! Who will capitalize in this first-ever Liberty City Street Fight?" Early wondered, as Tommy made it to the corner he was tossed into earlier. . .and began pulling at a loose strand of barbed wire!

"And what the hell is Tommy DOING?" Shake asked, as Tommy continued pulling at the barbed wire, and cutting his hands open as he wrapped it around his left hand! "My God, he's mutilating his hands!"

"His head and back are shredded, and his hands are even moreso now. . .but despite all that, the Harwood Butcher has to know what he's doing, as the creator of this match!" Early said, as Spongebob slowly rose up to his feet, shaking what cobwebs he could shake off before turning around to face Tommy. . .

. . .WHO NAILED HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH HIS BARBED-WIRE WRAPPED FIST!

"AND SPONGEBOB'S FACE JUST GOT A LITTLE LESS RECOGNIZABLE!" Early said, as Tommy backed up to the corner and slipped his brass knuckles onto his right hand before charging toward Spongebob, who had stepped back into the center of the ring. . .

. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS! Tommy hit him in the face over and over again with vicious and swift right and left hands. . .WITH HIS RIGHT HAND CLAD IN BRASS KNUCKLES, AND HIS LEFT HAND WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE!

"DEAR LORD!" Early cried. "And I thought he was mutilated earlier, but after THIS. . .Spongebob's own mother may not recognize him!"

"DOES SPONGEBOB EVEN HAVE ANY SKIN LEFT? THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD THAT I CAN'T TELL ANYMORE!" Shake shouted, as Tommy FINALLY stopped punching Spongebob after a THIRTIETH right hand. . .then went for a cover! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.5 SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT!

"HE MAY NOT HAVE ANY SKIN LEFT, BUT HE'S GOT A SHRED OF LIFE LEFT IN HIM!" Early replied, as Tommy stood up from the cover and struggled to step toward the corner. . .before ripping not only the top protective covering off. . .

. . .but the bottom and middle protective covering as well!

"Oh man…between the barbed wire in that corner and the now unprotected metal coverings of each turnbuckle, Tommy's just about to put Spongebob through ANOTHER world of hurt!" Shake said, as Tommy turned around and stepped toward Spongebob and nailed him across the face with another barbed-wire wrapped fist before chucking him into the covering-free corner. . .

. . .AND FORCING HIM TO HIT THE TOP TURNBUCKLE FACE FIRST! Spongebob clenched his bloody face in pain as he reeled back into the center of the ring. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO A STANDING SPINEBUSTER FROM TOMMY! Tommy rolled onto his chest and slowly pushed himself up to his feet, raising a bloody fist in the air to cheers from the crowd!

"And The Harwood Butcher has somehow gained a second wind, as well as all the momentum in this street fight!" Early cried. ". . .but why isn't he going for the cover?"

"Tommy's used EVERYTHING he can get his hands on as a weapon. . .what is he thinking of now?" Shake wondered, as Tommy looked at the unprotected turnbuckle. . .and pointed at the top rope, to more cheers from the crowd!

"Uhhh….is Tommy going to do what I think he's going to do?" Shake asked, as Tommy stepped toward the unprotected corner. . .and climbed up to the top rope. . .while Spongebob slowly rose to his feet!

"You're damn right he is, Shake!" Early replied. "Tommy Vercetti never goes for high-risk maneuvers. . .but this could be a great note to end his two-month losing streak on!"

Tommy kept his balance on the top rope. . .

. . .as he sized Spongebob up. . .

. . .but Spongebob dashed to Tommy's corner. . .

. . .AND SWEPT A LEG OUT FROM UNDER TOMMY, CROTCHING HIM RIGHT ONTO THE UNPROTECTED TOP TURNBUCKLE!

"OOOOOOOOOH!" Shake cringed, as Tommy wailed in agonizing pain, clenching his lower regions!

"Well, I hope Tommy didn't plan to have any kids any time soon. . .getting a low blow is one thing, but THAT. . .had to be more painful than anything that Tommy has been through in this entire match!" Early said, as Spongebob stepped onto the top rope. . .

"And now what's Spongebob gonna do-OH NO…" Early foreboded, after Spongebob hooked Tommy's leg. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A T-BONE SUPERPLEX!

"A T-BONE SUPERPLEX!" Shake called. "SPONGEBOB PLANTED TOMMY WITH A T-BONE SUPERPLEX!"

"Tommy felt that move as he went through two glass windows of this arena. . .but the third one might be the charm for the Showstoppin' Sponge!" Early said, as Spongebob crawled toward Tommy. . .and draped his arm over Tommy's body for a cover! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 TOMMY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!

"BUT TOMMY SOMEHOW WILL NOT DIE!" Early shouted, as Spongebob stared down at Tommy, his eyes wide in anger, smoke coming out of his ears, and his face drenched in his own blood!

"Spongebob Squarepants is wearing the proverbial crimson mask, and his eyes are about to bug out of his head! What could be going through his mind, as he tries to avenge the end of WWT?" Early wondered, as Spongebob rolled out of the ring and looked under the apron for a weapon, then came out with. . .a large wooden board!

"Spongebob hasn't really been a King of Extreme, but he's certainly proving that he's capable of fighting in matches of this type!" Shake said. "And with that platform, there are a multitude of things he can do that can put the Harwood Butcher away!"

Spongebob slid back into the ring. . .

. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO BASEBALL SLIDE THE PLATFORM RIGHT INTO SPONGEBOB'S FACE!

"BUT THERE'S MORE THAT TOMMY CAN DO WHEN SPONGEBOB IS DISTRACTED!" Early added, as Tommy slid out of the ring under the bottom rope and picked up the wooden platform, sliding it into the ring, then grabbing Spongebob by the back of his head and pulling him into the ring before sliding in after him. With Spongebob dazed, Tommy pulled him up to his feet and Irish whipped him. . .RIGHT INTO THE BARBED WIRE ROPES ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE RING, COLLIDING INTO THEM CHEST-FIRST!

"AND NOW SPONGEBOB TASTES THE BARBED WIRE!" Spongebob cried in pain, gushing out more tears as he tried to step backward, out of the ropes. . .but with three lacerations across his chest! Spongebob slowly turned around, clenching his chest in pain. . .

. . .until Tommy Irish whipped him right into the unprotected corner! Spongebob reeled backwards from the impact, completely dazed. . .until Tommy caught him with a drop toe hold that sent him head-first into the bottom corner! With Spongebob still incapacitated, Tommy opened Spongebob's mouth and placed his top and bottom front teeth around the bottom turnbuckle. Tommy then backpedaled to the opposite corner. . .

. . .charged toward Spongebob. . .

. . .AND CURB STOMPED HIS FACE AND OPEN MOUTH RIGHT INTO THE EXPOSED METAL TURNBUCKLE!

"BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Early shouted unintelligibly. "TOMMY MAY HAVE RENDERED SPONGEBOB TOOTHLESS! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN ALL OF AMERICAN HISTORY, SHAKE!...Shake?"

Shake could only vomit as he saw Spongebob rolling around the ring, bleeding from his mouth, head, chest, and…..everywhere….as Tommy pulled Spongebob back into the center of the mat, and went for a cover! 1. . .

. . .

"GOODBYE, SPONGEBOB. . ."

2\. . .

"GOODBYE, TWO-MONTH LOSING STREAK. . ."

. . .

. . .2.75 SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT!

"NOOOOOO! SOMEHOW, SPONGEBOB WANTS TO CONTINUE THIS GODDAMNED THING!" Early shouted, as Tommy's eyes began to twitch!

"The Harwood Butcher wants to END this match, END Spongebob's trash talk, but most importantly, END his two-month losing streak!" Early said. "But WHAT ELSE DOES HE HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO DO IT?"

"I don't even want to know, Early. . .because it's gonna make me sick." Shake answered, as Tommy pulled Spongebob up to his feet. . .and hooked his arms!

"Wait a minute! Tommy's going for the Hocus Po-uhhhh, I mean the Vercetti Driver! He's looking to put Spongebob away with the Vercetti Driver!" Early cried, as Tommy lifted Spongebob up. . .

. . .stood on top of the wooden platform. . .

. . .BUT SPONGEBOB DROPPED OUT OF IT BEHIND HIM AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A SITOUT SIDE SLAM ON THE PLATFORM!

"AND SPONGEBOB DRIVES TOMMY RIGHT ONTO THE WOOD!" Early shouted. "And by God, that HAS to be it. . ."

". . .but knowing Spongebob. . .it ISN'T." Shake finished, as Spongebob flashed a grin while the crowd's chorus of boos rained onto him. Spongebob then pulled Tommy up to his feet. . .AND PUT HIM IN A POWERBOMB POSITION!

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT ISN'T. . .because Spongebob's been driven over the EDGE. . ." Early said, as Tommy hit Spongebob in the chest repeatedly with a brass-knuckled fist. . .only for Spongebob to fire right back with a knee to his gut. . .

". . .and he's about to give Tommy a taste. . .of the SPONGY EDGE. . ."

. . .lifted him high above his head. . .

. . .STEPPED TOWARD THE ROPES ON THE NORTH SIDE OF THE RING. . .

". . .and on the NORTH EDGE OF THE RING, NO LESS. . .OH MY GOD-"

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH THE SPONGY EDGE ONTO ALL THREE BARBED WIRE ROPES!

THE NORTHWEST AND NORTHEAST CORNERS OF THE RING CURVED INWARD AS TOMMY'S BODY KNOCKED MOST OF THE BARBED WIRE STRANDS OFF THE CORNERS WITH HIS IMPACT, BEFORE HE FELL FACE-FIRST ONTO THE COVERED CONCRETE FLOOR!

"BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD SHAKE THAT'S IT! HE'S DEAD! TOMMY VERCETTI HAS TO BE WASTED!" Early shouted, as Tommy laid face-down on the concrete, completely motionless. . .with a strand of barbed wire stuck inside his back!

"THE RING IS PRACTICALLY DESTROYED! THE HATRED THESE TWO MEN HAVE FOR EACH OTHER HAS DESTROYED PART OF THE RING! IT HAS DESTROYED SPONGEBOB'S BODY! AND IT HAS DESTROYED TOMMY VERCETTI'S CAREER, AND HIS LIFE!" Shake screamed, as Spongebob stepped over the collapsed ropes, and onto the ringside floor before pulling Tommy's prone body up, and sliding it back into the ring, over the collapsed ropes. Spongebob then pushed Tommy into the center of the ring before stepping into it himself, and soaking in all the boos from the crowd.

"Well, Early…I gotta tell you, a month into his debut, Spongebob Squarepants has left a mark in XCW." Shake said. "He's destroyed Tommy Vercetti in his hometown, he's excelled under extreme circumstances. . .and he's avenged the premature end of World Wrestling Television."

"That he has, Shake. . ." Early agreed.

Spongebob knelt down, then laid over Tommy's body for a cover, hooking the leg. 1. . .

"Meanwhile, Tommy's legacy. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

". . .ends with a two-month losing streak. . ."

. . .2.9999999999 TOMMY KICKED OUT!

"-WHAT DID WE JUST SEE?" EARLY YELLED, AS THE ENTIRE ARENA EXPLODED WITH CHEERS! Spongebob, meanwhile, threw a temper tantrum in the center of the ring!

"WHAT DID WE JUST SEE?" Early screamed.

"TOMMY'S NOT HUMAN!" Shake cried. "HOW ON EARTH IS TOMMY EVEN BREATHING?"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT THE ROOF HAS BLOWN OFF OF THIS PLACE!" Early shouted. "THEY'RE ECSTATIC! THEIR HOMETOWN HERO STILL HAS SOMETHING LEFT INSIDE HIM, WHILE SPONGEBOB IS CARRYING ON LIKE A TWO-MONTH OLD BABY!"

Spongebob continued thrashing away like a child. . .as Tommy slowly but surely rose to his feet. . .and tore the bottom half of his Hawaiian shirt off, leaving only a small part of the middle, and the sleeves. . .and revealing large bloody lacerations on his chest and back.

"TOMMY VERCETTI HAS BEEN TO HELL AND BACK IN THIS MATCH. . .HE'S BEEN THROUGH HIS OWN PERSONAL HELL IN A TWO-MONTH LONG LOSING STREAK. . .HE WANTS TO END IT ALL. . .HE WANTS TO END SPONGEBOB. . .AND HE'S SHOWING ALL THAT AND A FORM OF INTENSITY AND DURABILITY THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN IN THIS INDUSTRY!" Early yelled unintelligibly, as Spongebob rose up to his feet. . .and got a barbed-wire fist for his troubles, then a brass-knuckled fist, then another barbed-wire fist. . .then as Spongebob reeled, having his back facing Tommy, the Harwood Butcher then chucked Spongebob toward the unprotected corner, but Spongebob leapt onto the middle rope in time. . .

. . .took a few MASSIVE gasps of breath, in trying to shake off fatigue. . .

. . .then went for a desperation crossbody. . .but could barely get the jump off. . .

. . .THEN GOT CAUGHT INTO TOMMY'S ARMS, AND TAKEN DOWN WITH A STANDING SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE WOODEN PLATFORM!

"Everything that Spongebob has been put through in this match is taking its toll once again. . ." Early foreboded, ". . .fatigue has set in for both of these men on more than one occasion, and as big a clinic Spongebob has put on, Tommy used his exhaustion to his advantage by catching him into a standing spinebuster!"

As Early spoke, Tommy stepped out of the ring over the collapsed ropes, looked under the apron for a weapon, and pulled out a steel chair. . .

. . .WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE!

"And now he's using the match stipulation to his advantage!" Shake added, as Tommy raised the barbed-wire wrapped chair to massive cheers from the crowd before stepping back into the ring and laying the chair down on the mat.

"Wait, but. . .why bring the chair in if you're not gonna use it?" Shake wondered, as Tommy pulled Spongebob up to his feet. . .

. . .AND TIED UP HIS ARMS!

"Oh, he's gonna use it, Shake. . ." Early predicted, as Tommy lifted Spongebob up. . .

. . .stepped over the barbed-wire wrapped chair. . .

. . .AND PLANTED SPONGEBOB WITH THE VERCETTI DRIVER ON THE BARBED-WIRE CHAIR!

"THE VERCETTI DRIVER CONNECTS ON THE CHAIR!" Early screamed, as the fans exploded into more cheers! Tommy quickly went for the cover, hooking the leg!

"THIS IS IT!" Early cried, before the referee made the count! 1. . .

"TOMMY'S LOSING STREAK. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

". . .HAS BEEN VINDICATED. . ."

. . .

. . .2.9999999999999 SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT! THE CROWD ERUPTED INTO GASPS OF SHOCK AS TOMMY ROLLED OFF THE COVER, GAZING UP AT THE CEILING IN DISBELIEF!

"AND ERADI-NOOOOOOO! SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT! SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT!" Early called, as the fans chanted "TOMMY! TOMMY! TOMMY!"

"ONE WIN…THAT ONE SIGNATURE WIN FOR TOMMY VERCETTI IS SO CLOSE, BUT SO FAR AWAY. . .WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO TO GET IT? WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO JUST TO WIN AGAINST THIS GENERATION'S ICON OF ANIMATION?" Shake screamed.

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW, SHAKE…." Early said, as Tommy rolled onto his chest, crawling on all fours to the outside of the ring, where he looked under the ring apron for another weapon. . .

. . .and pulled out a table!

"Tommy thinks a table's gonna do the trick, huh?" Shake asked. "He's got the platform in there, too. . .why not just use that?"

Tommy then slid the table into the ring, and climbed back into the ring after it. Tommy then set the table up in the center of the ring, before stepping toward the side of the ring. . .grabbing onto the nearly destroyed barbed-wire ropes. . .

. . .AND WITH ALL HIS MIGHT, TEARING THEM FROM THE CORNERS! Tommy kept a firm grasp on the barbed wire, blood seeping from his hands as the wires dug into his skin as he ripped them from both sides of their corners. . .

. . .AND WRAPPED THEM AROUND THE TABLE IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!

"You said it yourself, Shake. . .in a match of HIS creation, Tommy Vercetti has a trick up his sleeve. . ." reminded Early, as Tommy continued wrapping barbed wire around the table until it was completely covered in barbed wire. Tommy then limped toward the wooden platform. . .and set it on a top rope!

". . .and now what's Tommy doing. . .?" Shake wondered as Tommy grabbed hold of the bloody back of Spongebob's head. . . "Using that wood as a floor. . ."

. . .pulled him up to the top rope, and sat him on the platform. . .

"Tommy's using that wood as a platform. . ."

. . .then climbed onto the platform after him. . .

. . .AND HOOKED HIS ARMS. . .

". . .from which, to SUPLEX SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

. . .LIFTED HIM UP. . .

"OH NO. . ." Early screamed, before Tommy LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

"IT'S THE VERCETTI DRIVER!"

. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROVE HIM THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE WRAPPED TABLE WITH THE VERCETTI DRIVER OFF THE TOP ROPE!

"THE VERCETTI DRIVER OFF THE TOP ROPE…." Early yelled, as Tommy weakly pushed Spongebob off the wreckage, and onto the mat before draping his body over Spongebob's for a cover! 1. . .

". . .MAY HAVE SIGNALED THE END. . ."

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

". . .OF THIS LIBERTY CITY STREET FIGHT. . ."

. . .

. . .

. . .3!

". . .AND THE END OF TOMMY'S LOSING STREAK!"

The crowd erupted into a slate of cheers while Tommy and Spongebob laid in a crumbled heap in the center of the ring as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"

"THIS SOLD OUT CROWD CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY HAVE JUST WITNESSED!" Early shouted, as the referee slid into the ring and raised Tommy's hand in victory, and let it go. . .upon which, it immediately fell limply onto Tommy's lap. "THE HARWOOD BUTCHER HAS FINALLY WON A MATCH! THE HARWOOD BUTCHER HAS FINALLY EARNED A SIGNATURE VICTORY! AND THE HARWOOD BUTCHER, TOMMY VERCETTI, HAS BEATEN SPONGEBOB TO HOLY HELL IN HIS HOMETOWN OF LIBERTY CITY!"

The referee turned toward a nearby camera and motioned for help, upon which, a multitude of medics and EMTs ran down the ramp with gurneys and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, checking Spongebob's pulse.

"My God….Early, I still can't believe what just transpired. . ." Shake said. "I'm beside myself, I really am. Tommy Vercetti not only earned a victory tonight, he earned the right to be in the discussion over who is the most destructive, most inventive, most hardcore wrestlers in this industry! Tommy used anything and EVERYTHING he could get his hands on in this match, which is the first of its kind, and hopefully, the LAST of it's kind. . ."

The EMTs loaded Spongebob onto a gurney and slid him out of the ring, pushing his gurney up the ramp and to the backstage area as another EMT crew ran down the ramp and entered the ring to check on Tommy.

"BOTH of these men used everything they found against each other. . .and may have shortened their careers. . .especially the Showstoppin' Sponge himself. Spongebob put on one hell of a show here tonight, but fatigue set in for him the more he tried to destroy Tommy. . .who knows how much he's got left—"

The EMTs checked Tommy's pulse. . .

. . .AND TOMMY STIRRED, PUSHING THE EMTS AWAY, TO MASSIVE CHEERS FROM THE CROWD!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Shake screamed, as Tommy rose up to a standing position!

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT, SHAKE….." Early said in shock! "Despite travelling through God-knows-where….despite getting his face burnt against a car engine, despite getting thrown into a car, despite getting powerbombed onto a full set of barbed wire ropes….Tommy Vercetti is still alive, and Tommy Vercetti is still standing!"

Tommy looked around the arena, smiling in astonishment at all the fans cheering for him and chanting, "HE'S HARDCORE! HE'S HARDCORE! HE'S HARDCORE!" Tommy then shoved the EMTs and referees away as he stepped out of the ring, over the destroyed barbed-wire ropes and onto the ringside floor!

"His face is drenched in blood, his shirt is all but gone, his back and chest are shredded like lettuce, but if Tommy overcame all the pain he suffered tonight, and STILL manages to walk out of here under his own power. . .I don't know what will be able to stop him from doing anything else in this industry!" Shake said, as Tommy limped up the ramp, waving to the Liberty City faithful.

"Tommy has certainly been a unique presence in the XCW locker room since this company's inception, Shake. . .but after gaining this victory against an icon like Spongebob, his first in two months, I have a feeling that Tommy's career has nowhere to go. . .but up."

Tommy reached the stage and looked out at the crowd as he raised a bloody fist high above his head, then disappearing through the curtains behind the stage before the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Tai Kamiya stood in a hallway with a scowl on his face, and the XCW World Heavyweight Championship draped over his shoulder as Haruko Haruhara came to his side with a microphone in hand.

"Tai Kamiya, we just saw your wife, Sora Takenouchi, survive a grueling Hardcore match, and retain the XCW Women's Championship, but our doctors have told us that she lost nearly a fourth of her blood supply in doing so, and will be taken to a nearby medical facility, where she will receive a blood transfusion. Will her condition be a distraction as your Last Man Standing match against Garfield draws near?"

Tai sighed before finally beginning to speak. "Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Haruko. . .yes, I am concerned for Sora's well-being after everything that happened to her in the last match. . .but just because we're married doesn't mean what happens to one of us affects the other! Sora and I are on separate career paths, and just now, she legitimized her career in XCW. . .and now, I am about to do the same in mine, because what's at stake against Garfield here tonight is too important for me to lose sight of! Garfield went on a non-stop rampage last week, and it won't stop until I'm defeated...and I won't let that happen, because when he was champion, he and his owner, Arbuckle could've corrupted this company. They've hated me since the beginning. . .but tonight, everything's coming to a head, in this third and final retelling of David versus Goliath, and as David, I WILL strike again! Because as the leader of the DigiDestined, and the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, I have to stop the monster Garfield's path of destruction, I have to legitimize my career, and in order to do that….I have to, and I WILL…be the last man standing!"

Tai stormed away from the interview area as the show went to a commercial break.

As Heatwave returned from break, Early and Shake sat at their announcer's table.

"We're back live here on Heatwave, ladies and gentlemen, and Shake, Tai Kamiya's focus is surprisingly not dettered from the main event tonight, where he takes on the monster Garfield in a Last Man Standing match with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line." Early said. "I'm getting word that his wife, Sora Takenouchi lost a quarter of her blood supply in her successful retention of the XCW Women's title against Princess Peach. She is apparently getting a blood transfusion at a nearby medical facility…but Shake, that had to be one of the most brutal women's matches I've ever seen in my short career as a broadcaster!"

"You got that right!" Shake agreed. "Peach and Sora fought tooth and nail for that title, but Sora. . .she fought like a woman possessed! She let her extreme side out just now, and if she stays in that mindset with the level of determination she displayed, I have a feeling we're going to see the XCW Women's Championship around Sora's waist for a long, long time. . ."

"We just might, Shake, just as we might see the XCW Tag Team titles change hands in our next match, where they will be contested between three teams, and hanging twenty feet high above the ring!" Early said as the show cut to the ring, where Plankton stood inside it with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest. . .IS. . .the TABLES. . .LADDERS. . .AND CHAIRS MATCH. . .FOR THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!"

The crowd cheered after Plankton's announcement, until the following words came from the titantron. . .

. . ."ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into more cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Ed and Edd jumped onto the stage from below it! Raising their hands above their heads, Ed and Edd strode down the ramp.

"Introducing first. . .the challengers. From Peach Creek. . .Ed and Edd. . .D-GENERATION ED!"

Ed and Edd slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, both of them making the word 'ED' with their hands above their heads toward the fans.

"After that brutal Liberty City Street Fight, our fabulous ring crew has put the regular ropes back on each corner, changed the mat and put the corners back in their places, but Shake, I have a bad feeling that it was all four naught, because a massive hatred has brewed between the current XCW Tag Team Champions and this team right here, D-Generation Ed, over the past few months."

They met in the center of the ring and did the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "The South Park Four won the XCW Tag Team titles from Ed and Edd two months ago at Endgame, and they came close to regaining them last month at Nightfire with their leader, Eddy, a part of the team, but Stan and Cartman got away with a series of chair shots! Now tonight, the South Park Four may be able to use chairs to their advantage legally, but the Eds can use those and so much more in this tables, ladders and chairs match, and everything that these teams have put each other through from CWF to CWA, all the way to XCW, is going to come to a head here tonight!"

Ed and Edd stared across the ring at the entranceway until. . .

. . ."Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson And His Computer Band played as pyro exploded in unison to the first notes of the song! Mario and Luigi ran onto the stage and down the ramp to boos from the crowd, with both Mario brothers raising peace signs towards the ring.

"And their opponents . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .the team of Mario and Luigi. . .THE MARIO BROTHERS!"

Mario and Luigi strode down the ramp, with Mario screaming "I'M A CHAMPION OF LIFE!" toward the fans booing him along the ramp as he and Luigi walked.

"But another team has entered the chaos between these two teams, and that is the legendary Mario brothers, who have a bone to pick with the South Park Four as well, Shake!" Early informed. "Stan and Cartman mistakenly thought Luigi was the man who ambushed their friend, Kenny McCormick, and won the XCW Hardcore title from him at Nightfire. But after a series of attacks on the Other Mario Brother, Mario stepped in and took matters into his own hands! Now Luigi and the Champion of Life can make personal history for themselves by winning yet another tag team championship in yet another company!"

Mario and Luigi entered the ring under the bottom rope and climbed onto opposite turnbuckles, both of them raising peace signs above their heads.

"Mario and Luigi have won tag team gold everywhere they've fought in this industry. . .and even held the tag team titles in UCA until the night after Ragnarok a few months ago!" informed Shake. "But can these veterans, despite their age, stand toe-to-toe against two other teams in a heated rivalry in a match under these circumstances? It's going to be chaotic, that's for sure!"

Mario and Luigi stepped off the turnbuckles right before. . .

. . ."What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played! Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman walked onto the stage to a chorus of boos from the crowd.

"And their opponents. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .they are the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .the team of THE ENFORCER, ERIC CARTMAN, AND THE LEADER, STAN MARSH!"

"And here come the XCW Tag Team Champions!" Early said. "The target on the backs of Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman has gotten bigger and bigger with every week they've been champions, thanks to their punk attitudes and sneaky ways of winning."

Stan and Cartman ran down the ramp to boos from the crowd, raising their fists toward them regardless. As Stan slid into the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, Cartman grabbed a ladder and charged into the ring.

"No kidding, Early! Everything they've used to win before is legal in this match….but the Mario brothers and D-Ed don't want to let Stan and Cartman come even ten feet away from grabbing those tag title belts, let alone ten inches! XCW's first-ever TLC match could be one for the ages, as well as one to remember…for all the wrong, destructive reasons-" Shake said. . .

. . .BEFORE CARTMAN KNOCKED ED DOWN WITH A LADDER SHOT TO THE FACE!

"-AND THE CURRENT XCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS AREN'T LOOKING TO WASTE ANY TIME!" Early cried, as the bell rang and the match began with all three teams charging toward each other and meeting in the center of the ring, with Cartman pulling Ed up to his feet and hitting him with a three-punch combination, Edd and Mario punching each other, and Stan and Luigi engaging in a tie-up, until Stan forced Luigi into a collar-and-elbow tie-up, then took him down to the mat with a headlock takedown before kicking him in the back of the head! Meanwhile, after taking Ed back down with a drop toe hold, then a falling elbow to Ed's head, Cartman grabbed the ladder and used it as a battering ram to knock Edd and Mario down!

"The Enforcer, Eric Cartman, is enforcing all kinds of pain with that ladder!" Early said, as Cartman ran toward Luigi and nailed him square in the face with the ladder! Stan then pulled Luigi up by the overalls and Irish whipped him over all three ropes and down to the ringside floor, only for Edd to rise back up to his feet behind Stan and chuck him out of the ring over the second rope! Edd slid out of the ring behind him and began brawling with the South Park Leader, while Cartman set up the ladder in the center of the ring, until Ed took Cartman down with a massive clothesline! Ed then stood Cartman back up and lifted him up for a Scoop Slam, but Mario had risen back up to his feet, then grabbed onto Ed's legs and lifted them, toppling both Ed AND Cartman out of the ring above the top rope! Mario quickly scanned the ring, realized he was the only man in it while the rest of the competitors brawled at ringside. . .and began climbing up the ladder!

"And the Champion of Life, Mario, is the first man to go for the gold!" Early shouted. "Will the first-ever XCW World Heavyweight Champion become a Tag Team champion?"

Mario reached the middle steps of the ladder. . .

. . .but Edd slid back into the ring under the bottom rope, grabbed Mario by the leg, and pulled him off the ladder! Once Mario landed onto the mat, Edd whacked him in the chest with a series of chops, then Irish whip him across the ring. As Mario bounced back, Double D leapt up for a Hurricanrana, but Mario ducked under the Sockhead's jump, and hit the ropes behind him. . .only for Stan to nail him in the back with a steel chair shot from the ring apron! Stan then charged back into the center of the ring and swung the chair at Double D's head, but Double D ducked under it, causing Stan's chair to hit the ladder! Stan turned around to face Double D. . .only for Edd to leap up and knock him back a bit with a spinning wheel kick! Edd then Irish whipped Stan against the ropes, and took him down with a Monkey Flip! Edd then kicked Stan under the bottom rope and out of the ring, before looking up at the titles high above the ring. . .and climbing up the ladder!

"And The Sockhead, Double D, a man on his own personal role in different companies across this industry, stands alone in the ring, and climbs alone toward another tag team championship reign!" Early cried, as Double D reached the top steps of the ladder. . .reached up for the titles. . .

. . .but Cartman and Luigi entered the ring on opposite sides of Edd, and set up ladders on both sides of him!

"But the war is on its way back into the ring, Early!" Shake observed, as Cartman and Luigi tried punching Double D off his ladder. . .

. . .UNTIL ED CLIMBED UP CARTMAN'S LADDER, MARIO CLIMBED UP EDD'S LADDER, AND STAN CLIMBED UP LUIGI'S LADDER, AND ALL THREE TEAMS BEGAN BRAWLING HIGH ABOVE THE RING!

"And now all three full teams are back in the ring, and twenty feet high above the ring! Who's gonna grab the titles first?" Early wondered, as the brawls continued on each of the three ladders. . .until Stan nailed Luigi with an uppercut that sent him reeling off the ladder and down to the mat! As Luigi rolled out of the ring, and onto the ringside floor to collect himself, Edd kept reaching up for the title belts. . .until Mario grabbed his arm and pulled it down, pulling Edd off the top ladder step, over the top rope and down to the ringside floor, then swiftly hitting Stan right between the eyes with a right hand, sending HIM to fall from the top of his ladder! With Mario on the top step of his ladder, Cartman tried stepping onto Mario's side of the ladder next to him. . .only for Ed to ram him in the face with a headbutt, knocking HIM off the ladder!

"All of these men are dropping like flies off their ladders!" Early declared.

"But only Ed and Mario are left!" Shake added, as Ed stepped onto Mario's ladder, took an extra step. . .

"Ed's freakish height gives him the advantage, Early!" Shake called. "He's about to claim the gold in the name of D-Ed!"

. . .reached for the belts, his fingertips brushing against the gold of the titles. . .

. . .BUT MARIO NAILED ED IN THE CHEST WITH A FISTFUL OF SPIKED KNUCKLES!

"But the Champion of Life has other ideas, and he may have the upper hand in this match, now that Hotsuma's spiked knuckles, which he stole last week on Monday Night Massacre, are ON his hand!" Early said, as Mario slipped the knuckles back off and put them in his overalls pocket. With Ed faltered a bit and clenching his chest in pain. . .Mario draped Ed's arm over his back. . .

"Now what's Mario about to do?" Shake wondered, as Mario lifted Ed up. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER!

"OOOOOH!" Early cringed. "Mario just lifted the Monobrowed Colossus off his feet and took him for a twenty-foot drop off that ladder!"

"But there's three other guys to keep at bay, Early!" Shake said. "There's more Mario can use in addition to those ladders and his spiked knuckles! Or, should I say….HOTSUMA'S spiked knuckles…"

Mario slowly rose to his feet, shook the cobwebs off his head and left the ring, quickly grabbing one of the tables on the ringside floor and sliding it into the ring under the bottom rope!

"LUIGI! Get a-the tables!" Mario shouted across the ring while grabbing another table and stepping toward the foot of the ramp, as Luigi grabbed a table next to him on his side of the ringside floor and met Mario at the foot of the ramp, and set his table up right next to Mario's! The Mario Brothers quickly worked together to grab two more tables. . .and set them up on top of the other two tables they set up!

"When they work together, the experience of the Mario brothers can be deadly, and right now, they're looking to build something deadly with those tables!" Early said.

"They sure are, Early!" Shake agreed. "Whoever goes through those might never get back up!"

Mario and Luigi then grabbed chairs as they ran back into the ring, with Mario standing above Cartman, and Luigi standing above Ed. Both of the Mario brothers raised their chairs high above their heads. . .and smashed them right against the skulls and chests of Cartman and Ed, respectively!

"The Mario Brothers are unrelenting with those chairs!" Early said. "They're working together to weaken their opposition before making another go up the ladder!"

"Great strategy by the veterans. . .but not so great for their opposition!" Shake added, as Mario and Luigi continued hammering away at the chests of Cartman and Ed, until Stan and Edd came back into the ring with chairs of their own, and whacked the Mario brothers across the back! Mario and Luigi fell to their knees in pain before dragging Cartman and Ed out of the ring with them while Stan and Edd stared across the ring at each other. . .before running forward and swinging their chairs at each other. . .but both of their chairs ended up hitting each other!

"Stan and Double D engaging in a duel of steel chairs. . .who will prevail?" wondered Early, as Edd and Stan swung their chairs at each other again. . .only for their chairs to clang against each other again! Stan then tried to drive his chair into Edd's gut, but Edd sidestepped it and nailed Stan across the back with a chair shot! Meanwhile, Luigi and Ed fought on another side of the ring, with Luigi raising his chair, then hitting Ed with it. . .

. . .or, he would have, if Ed didn't catch it before it could make impact! Ed then wrestled the chair into his grip before nailing Luigi right in the head with it, knocking him down and bending the chair in half!

"BAH GAWD WHAT FORCE ED USED TO SMASH THE CHAIR OVER THE OTHER MARIO BROTHER'S HEAD!" Early screamed, as Ed dropped the chair and whipped Luigi into a nearby corner while Mario set up a table on the outside of the ring. Ed then picked up a ladder from earlier and stuffed it into the corner, trapping Luigi behind it. Ed then turned around to face Edd, who set his chair up in front of him, put Stan in a headlock. . .and drove his head right through the open steel chair, to massive cringes from the crowd! Edd then pulled Stan out of the chair in a headlock, only to hear Ed scream, "I AM OPEN, DOUBLE D!" Edd nodded in response before Irish whipping Stan toward the Monobrowed Colossus. . .

. . .upon which, Ed caught Stan. . .

. . .AND FLAPJACKED HIM ONTO THE LADDER, CRUSHING IT AGAINST LUIGI! Both Stan and Luigi crumbled to the mat as Ed and Edd high-fived each other in the center of the ring. . .before setting up a ladder and climbing it toward the tag titles!

"The momentum has shifted back in favor of those degenerates from Peach Creek!" Early called. "And now they're close to becoming tag team champions once again!"

Ed and Edd reached for the belts. . .

. . .grabbed onto them. . .

. . .but Mario slid into the ring behind them! Mario grabbed the legs of the ladder on Edd's side. . .lifted them up. . .

. . .and sent Ed falling to the mat, while Edd fell over all three ropes, and crashed through the table Mario set up on the ringside floor!

"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! DOUBLE D IS FOLDED UP LIKE AN ACCORDION IN THE REMAINS OF THAT TABLE, THANKS TO THE CHAMPION OF LIFE!" Early screamed, before Mario grabbed a table laying on the mat and setting it up in the corner. Meanwhile, Luigi was still laying under a ladder in the corner until Mario grabbed the ladder and set it up in the center of the ring, then pulled Luigi out of the corner, and up to his feet. The Mario brothers then turned around, unaware that Stan was pulling himself up with the ropes! Mario and Luigi stepped toward the ladder and began to climb up it. . .while Stan set up a steel chair behind their ladder and backpedaled against the ropes. . .

. . .before running toward the seated chair. . .leaping onto it. . .

. . .AND TACKLING LUIGI OFF THE LADDER! Stan quickly set up another ladder next to Mario. . .who was inches away from grabbing onto the belts. . .

. . .but Stan swept Mario's legs out from under him and drug his legs in his direction, forcing him to lay face down on both ladders. Stan then twisted Mario's legs. . .AND LOCKED HIM IN THE SHARPSHOOTER ON TOP OF BOTH LADDERS! Mario screamed in agonizing pain as he tapped out…but to no avail!

"Now The South Park Leader, Stan Marsh, somehow, has got the Sharpshooter locked in, twenty feet high above the ring!" Early screamed. "Tap outs don't count here; Mario should know he's gotta grab the titles that are dangling just a few inches higher than his body!"

"I think he knows that, Early!" Shake insisted. "He just wants Stan Marsh to make it stop! But he won't stop because those are HIS tag team championships he wants to keep around his and Cartman's waist!"

Luigi slowly rose to his feet and climbed up the ladder while Stan kept the hold on Mario locked in high above the ring. . .

. . .until Luigi shoved Stan by the back off his ladder. . .and face first into a top turnbuckle!

"Stan Marsh may have gotten his bell rung, and then some!" Shake declared, as Luigi helped Mario back up to a step on their ladder before reaching for both of the tag title belts. . .as Eric Cartman came back into the ring below them, picking up a chair, with Ed rising up to his feet nearby, and striding toward him with a chair of his own! Mario and Luigi took notice of the brawl below them, watching as Ed raised his steel chair. . .but Cartman nailed him in his exposed ribs with his chair! Ed slumped to his knees writhing in pain as Cartman threw his chair down to the mat. . .and took Ed down with a Lou Thesz Press, hammering away at him with thunderous right hands!

"The Mario brothers are this close to winning it, Early! Why aren't they going for the tag titles?" Shake wondered, as Mario flashed a smirk toward Luigi, who nodded and. . .stepped onto the ladder next to them?

"I have no idea. . .but something tells me that the Mario brothers have a trick up their sleeve. . .as well as up above the South Park Enforcer!" Early foreboded, as Mario and Luigi waited for Cartman to roll off Ed. . .

. . .and sized both men up as they leapt off their respective ladders. . .

. . .AND EACH LANDED ONTO CARTMAN AND ED WITH THEIR OWN SUPER MARIO SPLASH!

"OH MY GOD! THE VETERANS, MARIO AND LUIGI, TAKING THEIR OPPOSITION OUT BY SURPRISE WITH THEIR PATENTED SUPER MARIO SPLASH!" Early shouted, as Edd stumbled into the ring, clenching his ribs with one arm, and swatting a ladder down to the mat with the other, while Stan slowly staggered up to his feet, selling his jaw.

"They took out both a member of the South Park Four, AND D-Generation Ed, but they may have taken themselves out in the process!" Shake said. "But here come Double D and Stan Marsh back in the match, looking worse for wear after what they've been put through!"

Stan and Edd began trading right hands near the ropes in the ring until Edd surprised Stan with a kick to his midsection, then Irish whipped him face-first into the wooden table propped up in a corner, with Stan hitting it hard face-first! Edd then charged toward Stan, going for a spear through the table. . .

. . .but Stan caught Edd in time with a Lou Thesz Press, and hit him repeatedly with punches right in his jaw! As Edd tried to stagger up to his feet, selling his jaw, Stan quickly slid under the ladder in the center of the ring, bounced off the ropes in front of him. . .

. . .AND SHOVED THE LADDER RIGHT INTO EDD, WITH THE SPREADER HITTING HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE, AND BUSTING HIM OPEN!

"OHH! What a shot from the South Park Leader—and now Double D has been busted wide open!" Early called, as Double D tried to push himself up to his knees, but to no avail!

"Oh God, please…no more blood….but it looks like Stan Marsh is about to keep the titles in the name of himself and Cartman!" said Shake, as Stan made his way up to the ladder, while the crowd looked toward the stage, and erupted into cheers. . .

. . .AS EDDY RAN DOWN THE RAMP WITH A TABLE!

"WAIT A MINUTE! There's Eddy! Eddy's coming down to the ring!" Early shouted!

"And he's got a table!" Shake added. "He just couldn't resist getting involved in this match!"

"After what the South Park Four put him through last week on Monday Night Massacre, I don't blame him, Shake!" Early said, as Eddy slid the table into the ring and set it up right next to Stan's ladder before climbing onto it, and pulling Stan off the ladder, and onto the table!

"Eddy's got the South Park Leader. . ." Early cried, as Eddy kicked him in the midsection. . .hooked both his arms. . .

. . .AND DROVE STAN THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE EDIGREE!

". . .and he just drove him through the table!" finished Early, before Eddy stepped over to Edd and helped him up to his feet, then tapped him in the direction of the ladder in the center of the ring, until Cartman rose up to his feet from behind Eddy, then whipped him around to face him, and hit him with a right hand. Cartman went for another fierce punch, but Eddy fired right back with a three-punch combination of his own, then Irish whipped Cartman across the ring and took him down with an AA Spinebuster!

"Eddy is a house of fire, as well as a big help to his friends in D-Generation-Ed!" Early said while Edd slowly climbed up the ladder. . .as the crowd looked to the stage, and erupted into boos. . .

. . .as Kyle Broflovski ran down the ramp with a steel chair!

"And now the cavalry is coming for the South Park Four!" Early yelled, as Kyle slid into the ring. . .tossed the chair into Eddy's hands. . .

. . .AND DROPKICKED IT RIGHT INTO EDDY'S FACE!

"The South Park Submitter evening the odds for the XCW Tag Team Champions!" Early shouted, as Kyle grabbed Eddy's legs. . .and locked in the Figure Four Leg Lock! Meanwhile, Edd continued to climb slowly up the ladder in the center of the ring. . .but Mario and Luigi had came back into the ring with a ladder of their own! While Mario set up his ladder next to Edd's, Luigi climbed onto the opposite side of Edd's ladder, and reached the top just as Edd grabbed onto the titles. . .

"But Double D is about to win the titles for him and Ed!" Early exclaimed. "He's about to do it-"

. . .but Luigi reached up and nailed Double D with a right hand!

"NO! Luigi caught The Sockhead by surprise! Will he unhook the belts from the ceiling?" Shake cried, as Ed stepped back into the ring and set up a table before climbing up Mario's ladder while Luigi looked up and reached for the belts. . .but Edd hit him with a three-punch combination, then smashed his face against the top step of the ladder! With Luigi resting his head on the top step, trying to regain his composure, Edd reached for the belts. . .just as Mario reached the top of his ladder. . .only for Ed to knock him off it and down to the mat with a headbutt!

"The Eds have had the most opportunities to pull the titles from that hook on the ceiling so far in this matchup…will this time finally be the charm?" Early called, as Edd reached up for the belts. . .but saw Luigi trying to pull himself back up. Edd turned to face Ed on the opposite ladder. . .and gave him a nod?

"Somehow, I don't think so, Early. . ." Shake said. "Everybody's gone off a ladder at least once in this match. . .and the Eds look like they have a plan! What is Double D pulling out of his hat?"

After hitting Luigi with another right hand, Edd draped Luigi's arm over his back. . .raised him high above his head. . .and screamed-

"WINTER IS COMING!"

"What the—what does Double D mean by that?" Early wondered, as Ed hit Luigi with a boot to the back of his head. . .then fell right on top of Kyle and Eddy, finally breaking up Kyle's Figure Four! Back at the top of the ladder, Double D fell backward, his grip still on Luigi. . .

. . .AND DROVE HIM THROUGH THE TABLE ED SET UP WITH A BRAINBUSTER!

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" Early screamed unintelligibly. "D-Generation Ed isn't chasing the tag team titles anymore, they're chasing the dragon. . .as well as destruction!"

"Seems to me that they were chasing something else. . ." Shake said until he trailed off. . .to see Stan and Cartman rising back up to their feet, and climbing up the ladder in the center of the ring!

"Nevertheless, Stan and Cartman of the South Park Four are FINALLY making their way up the ladders by themselves in this matchup!" Early said. "They've had a target on their back all match, but now the titles are THEIRS for the taking!"

Stan and Cartman finally made it to the top of the ladder. . .

. . .reached for the title belts. . .

. . .came MILLIMETERS away from pulling them off the hook. . .

. . .BUT EDDY PUSHED THE LADDER'S LEGS OUT FROM UNDER THEM! Stan and Cartman fell off the falling ladder in the direction of where the announcer's tables USED to be. . .and Stan landed on the mat in front of a nearby corner. . .

. . .WHILE CARTMAN CRASHED THROUGH THE TABLE IN THE OTHER CORNER! Cartman laid in a crumbled heap in the corner as Eddy pulled Ed up to his feet and helped him set the ladder back up in the center of the ring! Ed then climbed up the ladder, with Eddy climbing up the other side. . .

. . .until Mario socked him in the face with a fistful of spiked knuckles!

"NO! Ed's lookout at the top of the ladder just got his lights knocked out by Mario and his set of spiked knuckles!" Early shouted, as Ed took notice of Mario striding toward Edd, who was rising to his feet. . .

. . .but then, Mario knocked him down with the spiked knuckles!

"The Champion of Life is just taking ALL of D-Generation Ed down in his line of vision!" Early said, as Mario looked at the ladder in the center of the ring. . .and saw that Ed wasn't on it?

"Ed was on the climb for tag title gold a second ago. . .where'd he run off to?" Early wondered.

"Some idiot here probably brought a chicken to the arena, and Ed took notice of it. Somehow, I'm not surprised!" Shake assumed, as Mario looked around the ring, saw Ed charging toward him. . .then raised his brass knuckled fist-

"Mario found Ed! And he's gonna knock him out with those damn spiked knuckles—"

-ONLY FOR ED TO NAIL HIS FIST WITH A STEEL CHAIR AND DRIVE THE KNUCKLES INTO MARIO'S FACE, KNOCKING HIM DOWN AND BUSTING HIM OPEN!

"OH MY GOD! MY GOD, MARIO'S SECRET WEAPON JUST BACKFIRED ON HIM!" Early yelled. "MARIO IS DOWN AND BLEEDING FROM HIS HEAD!" Meanwhile, the crowd chanted, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"This match just gets more and more brutal with every minute, Early!" Shake commented. "These teams don't want the titles, they want to maim each other!"

Ed then stepped back toward the ladder in the center of the ring. . .but saw Stan and Cartman slowly stagger up to their feet! Furrowing his brow in anger, Ed dropped his chair and grabbed the ladder, holding it like a battering ram, charging toward the Leader and the Enforcer. . .

. . .but Stan and Cartman took Ed down with a double drop toe hold, causing Ed to land on his ladder face and chest-first! Ed screamed in agonizing pain until Cartman pulled Ed up to his feet. . .only to pick him up off the mat. . .and take him down with a Scoop Slam on the down ladder! Ed wailed upon making impact with the ladder. . .while Stan grabbed a chair lying on the mat. . .and climbed up to a top turnbuckle while Cartman backpedaled against the ropes behind him. . .just waiting and watching as Stan positioned his chair under his rear. . .

. . .leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .AND CRUSHED ED INTO THE LADDER WITH A DIVING LEG DROP ABOVE HIS STEEL CHAIR! Ed wheezed and writhed in pain while Stan left the chair to lay across Ed's body as Cartman charged toward Ed for a Big Boy Splash, but with another wind, Edd ran into his path and took him down with a jumping crossbody block! Stan then grabbed Ed by his jacket and started to pull him up, until Eddy charged toward him and nailed Stan in the face with a steel chair, knocking him out! With the South Park Leader down, Eddy left the ring and looked for a couple tables. . .while back in the ring, Edd stood up, clenching his sides as he stepped toward a ladder, trying to pick it up. . .

. . .only for Kyle to kick him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A SOUTH PARK STUNNER!

"SOUTH PARK STUNNER FROM KYLE! THE BAD BLOOD BETWEEN THE EDS AND THE SOUTH PARK FOUR HAS BOILED OVER HERE TONIGHT!" Early shouted unintelligibly, as Kyle stepped toward Cartman, shouting, "GET UP, FAT ASS!" as he pulled him up by his arms.

"AY! I'M NOT FAT!" Cartman insisted. "SHUT UP AND HELP ME!"

"It appears there's a minor spat between Kyle and Cartman. . ." Early foreboded. "They're in a stable with the tag titles in their name; now isn't the time for this!"

"No kidding, Early!" Shake agreed, as Kyle and Cartman set up two ladders in the center of the ring. "Then again, these two NEVER got along. . .but they're working together all the same. . ."

Kyle and Cartman then left the ring, grabbing a table from ringside. . .while Luigi and Mario slowly rose to their feet. . .and stepped toward the ladders in the center of the ring, Luigi toward the left ladder, and Mario toward the right ladder!

"Whatever it is that Kyle and Cartman are doing, they better be quick about it!" Early said. "Because the Mario brothers, despite all they've been through, are somehow back up, and going for the tag team titles!"

Cartman and Kyle slid themselves and their table into the ring, then kept their grip on the table. . .as they climbed up the ladders, Kyle on the left, and Cartman on the right, carrying their table to the top!

"Now….what in the HELL ARE THESE TWO KIDS THINKING ABOUT WITH THAT TABLE?" Shake asked aloud.

"They're creating a bridge to the titles, Shake. . ." Early answered. "The tag titles will be right under it! With the target on their backs as big as it is, they're looking for an easy route to victory, and this is the closest thing to it!"

"Kyle may not get along with Cartman, but as his stablemate, he's willing to help him!" Early said, as Ed and Edd staggered up to their feet. . .and stepped toward the ladders, climbing up them right behind Kyle and Cartman! Meanwhile, Eddy set up a couple of tables on the outside of the ring, kicking away the steel steps to make room for them next to a nearby corner of the ring. Satisfied, Eddy slid into the ring under the bottom rope and rammed Stan in the gut with a high knee. . .before pulling him up the corner, and onto the top rope. . .

. . .WITH BOTH TABLES ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING RIGHT UNDER THEM!

"Eddy gave Ed and Edd an assist earlier by driving Stan through a table. . .but THIS may knock Stan's lights out for good!" predicted Early, as Eddy put Stan in position for a powerbomb. . .

"Oh my God. . .this is TOO MUCH!" Shake cried, as Eddy hooked Stan's arms. . .

. . .LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE. . .

. . .AND DROVE STAN THROUGH BOTH TABLES BELOW HIM WITH AN EDIGREE! Stan was down on the ringside floor amongst the rubble of the tables. . .while Eddy struggled to his feet, selling his knees as he slid back into the ring!

"THE SOUTH PARK LEADER IS DOWN AND OUT, THANKS TO THAT PEACH CREEK PLUNGE FROM EDDY!" Early shouted unintelligibly. "AND SOMEHOW, THE D-ED LEADER IS LOOKING TO ASSIST HIS TEAMMATES ONE LAST TIME TOWARD THE TAG TEAM TITLES!"

"Every man is twenty feet high above the ring, Early! Shake said, as Kyle and Cartman successfully laid the table across both ladders, and stepped onto it, just walking toward the titles from opposite sides of the table to boos from the crowd. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL ED HIT KYLE IN THE BACK WITH A STEEL CHAIR, SENDING KYLE TO FALL RIGHT INTO CARTMAN, KNOCKING BOTH OF THEM DOWN!

"WAIT A MINUTE! ED! THE MONOBROWED MONSTER MADE IT TO THE TOP! Kyle and Cartman are cornered!" Early screamed, as Eddy made his way to the left ladder, climbing up its empty side, and meeting Luigi at the top to brawl with him, while Edd and Mario traded right hands on the right ladder!

"My God, those men better be careful up there! One misstep could send the table flying off the ladder!" Shake cried, as Kyle charged forward, grabbing onto the belts. . .

. . .BUT ED SMASHED THE STEEL CHAIR AGAINST HIS HEAD, KNOCKING KYLE OFF THE BELTS AND DOWN TO THE MAT BELOW, THE LADDERS AND TABLE SHAKING WITH KYLE'S THUD!

"KYLE BROFLOVSKI JUST WENT FLYING, AND THAT STRUCTURE DOESN'T LOOK STABLE ENOUGH!" Early shouted, as Ed raised the chair high above his head. . .but Cartman wrestled it out of his grasp!

"JUST GO FOR THE TITLES, ED! THEY'RE RIGHT THERE!" Shake yelled.

"But so is Eric Cartman!" Early snapped back, as Cartman rammed the top edge of the chair into Ed's ribs, then against his back! Ed let out a cry of pain as Cartman threw the chair off the table and down to the mat!

"So much hatred between these two teams. . .from the original UCW, to CWF, to CWA, and now to XCW. . .these two men want to add another page to this historic rivalry!" Early cried.

"They're about to make history, all right. . ." Shake foreboded. ". . .because if one of them goes down. . .EVERYONE GOES DOWN!"

Cartman quickly pulled Ed up to his feet. . .then kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .LEAPT UP. . .

. . .AND DROPPED ED WITH THE SOUTH PARK STUNN—NO!

Ed grabbed Cartman by his sides as the Enforcer made the jump!

"ED SAVING HIMSELF, AND EVERYBODY ELSE FROM CERTAIN DOOM, KEEPING THE BIG BOY OFF HIS FEET…." Early yelled unintelligibly as Ed stepped into the center of the table. . .keeping his grip on Cartman. . .

. . .AND SETTING HIM ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!

"OH NO. . .ED'S GOT THE CRAZY EYES!" Shake expressed, as Ed looked out at the crowd with wide, incensed eyes!

"MY GOD. . .NO, ED! DON'T DO IT!" Early shouted, as the crowd erupted into cheers as Ed spun Cartman off his shoulders-

"DON'T DO IT!"

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!"

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPED CARTMAN THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE ELEDRIFIER. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .SENDING CARTMAN AND HIMSELF CRASHING DOWN TO THE MAT. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .ED'S IMPACT CAUSING THE RIGHT LADDER TO TIP OVER. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .WHICH ACCIDENTALLY SENT EDD AND MARIO CRASHING HARD ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR IN FRONT OF EARLY AND SHAKE. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .WHILE CARTMAN'S IMPACT KNOCKED OVER THE LEFT LADDER. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROVE EDDY AND LUIGI THROUGH ALL FOUR TABLES AT THE FOOT OF THE RAMP!

EVERY SINGLE MAN IN THE MATCH WAS DOWN AND OUT IN AND AROUND THE RING AS THE FANS IN THE ARENA SHOUTED "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" AT DEAFENING LEVELS!

"GOOD GOD! GOOD FUCKING GOD, SHAKE! AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST WITNESSED!" Early shouted unintelligibly. "THANKS TO ONE ELEDRIFIER. . .THE EDS ARE DOWN! CARTMAN IS DOWN! KYLE IS DOWN! THE MARIO BROTHERS ARE DOWN! THE RINGSIDE AREA LOOKS LIKE A TEN CAR PILEUP, AND THE RING ITSELF DOESN'T LOOK THAT MUCH BETTER!"

"THE TITLES WERE SO CLOSE! BUT PURE, OLD-FASHIONED HATRED FUELS THESE TEAMS! THEY WANTED TO DESTROY EACH OTHER BEFORE GOING FOR THE GOLD!" Shake screamed. "NOW WHO'S GOING TO WIN THE XCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS?"

Absolutely NOBODY moved. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .until. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .STAN MARSH PULLED HIMSELF INTO THE RING!

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Early shouted. "STAN MARSH! THE SOUTH PARK LEADER, THE CONSTANT OF THE SOUTH PARK FOUR. . .HE'S BEEN EDIGREED THROUGH THREE TABLES….HE'S BEEN THROUGH AS MUCH HELL AS EACH MAN IN THIS MATCH….BUT HE'S DOING WHAT HE CAN TO ACHIEVE VICTORY!"

Stan limped toward a ladder and set it up in the center of the ring before slowly climbing up it, clenching his ribs in pain.

"HE'S USING EVERY LITTLE PIECE OF ADRENALINE THAT HE HAS LEFT, EARLY! HE'S JUST A FEW STEPS CLOSER….." Shake cried, as the crowd began to boo the South Park Leader, who cringed and groaned in pain with every remaining step. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .WHILE ED STAGGERED UP TO HIS FEET BELOW HIM!

"BUT THE MONOBROWED MONSTER, ED, IS BACK UP, AS WELL! BUT HE'S AS WORSE FOR WEAR AS STAN IS!" Early yelled, as Ed struggled to climb up the ladder on the opposite side, while Stan managed to make it to the top step!

"THIS IS UNREAL!" Shake cried, as Stan reached up for the titles. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .barely brushed them with his fingertips. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .while Ed reached a middle step. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."ONLY THE LADDER IS REAL, SHAKE. . ." Early said. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .as Stan pulled himself ever closer. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .grabbed onto the belts. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."THE CLIMB IS ALL THERE IS. . ."

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND UNHOOKED THEM FROM THE CEILING!

". . .AND STAN MARSH JUST CONQUERED IT FOR THE SOUTH PARK FOUR!" Early shouted, as the crowd groaned in disappointment of the South Park Four winning. . .but quickly turning to a standing ovation!

Stan clenched both title belts against his chest, falling off the ladder and landing on his back down to the mat as the bell rang!

"The winners of this match. . .AND STILL. . .THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. . .ERIC CARTMAN AND STAN MARSH. . .THE SOUTH PARK FOUR!"

"This sold-out crowd may not like the South Park Four, but they admire the effort that Stan, Cartman, Ed, Eddy, and all of these men just put themselves through, Shake!" Early said. "So much hate between these three teams created so much destruction, MUCH of the hate going toward the South Park Four. . .but they persevered through it all, and The Enforcer, Eric Cartman, and The Leader, Stan Marsh, are STILL the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions!"

The referee raised Stan's arm in victory before he took one of the belts, and laid it across Cartman's body, then raised his arm in victory before waving for EMTs and medics to come down the ramp.

"My God. . .chairs were broken, tables were destroyed, ladders were used as weapons. . .this match was full of non-stop CARNAGE. . .and despite it all, the South Park Four STILL come through it all with the tag team titles! Chaos reigned between these three teams just now in the first-ever TLC match in XCW's history. . .and Early, if there's a second one, it's gonna be really hard for the competitors in that match to top this one."

Stan and Cartman crawled toward each other, meeting near the ropes closest to the ramp before sliding out of the ring, and limping toward the ramp, past the medics, who checked on the Eds and the Mario brothers. Throughout all this, the fans continued to cheer "THAT WAS AWESOME! THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"And these XCW fans here in Liberty City agree with you, Shake!" Early added. "And it's gonna be even harder for the next challengers for the XCW Tag Team titles to put these two kids down!"

Kyle, Cartman and Stan stood at the foot of the ramp, raising the XCW Tag Team Championship belts high above their head until the show went to a commercial break.

The commercial begins with a black-and-white montage of various clips of XCW's most famous moments. . .with the Fanfiction Wrestling Network logo in the corner of the screen.

"After Heatwave. . .

. . .and with a new era on the way. . ."

The camera moves backward, revealing that XCW is being played on a television screen.

". . .XCW is going to get. . .

ARCHIVED!"

Suddenly, the AO3 logo flies in and shatters the image, revealing a color montage of more of XCW's famous moments.

"Tomorrow night, Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debuts on the AO3 Network, preceded by an all-night, all-day marathon of every single episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre AND pay-per-view!"

"New Era. . .New Network. . .New Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!"

The final graphic is of the XCW logo above the Archive of Our Own logo, and text that says, "The New Era Begins. . .Monday, 9pm EST/8pm CST"

"The simulcast of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling on the Fanfiction Wrestling Network AND AO3 begins tomorrow night at 8pm central time! Be there, or-"

Suddenly, Tommy Vercetti broke through the television, and looked right into the camera.

"—BE COMPOST!"

As Heatwave returned from break, Hotsuma was sharpening his sword until Haruko Haruhara came to his side with a microphone in hand.

"Hotsuma. . ." Haruko asked, ". . .earlier tonight, you defeated Bugs Bunny decisively in a tables match. Now that you've succeeded in sending your message, as you called it earlier. . .what do you intend to do once Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling enters its 'New Era'?"

Hotsuma looked up from his sword, and stared at Haruko with narrowed, hateful eyes.

"'Enters' it's New Era?" Hotsuma asked Haruko, before. . .darkly chuckling? "Oh, Haruko. . .I've already ushered in the New Era. And tomorrow night. . .I'm going to be a big part of it. . .whether XCW likes it. . .OR NOT."

Haruko stepped back in fear while Hotsuma went back to sharpening his sword until the show went back to the arena.

"…ooookaaaay….." Shake said. "What the hell do you think THAT was about, Early?"

"I have no earthly idea, Shake. . .but we can't fret about it now. . ." Early said, before. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."Bad Man" by Jim Johnston played!

". . .because NOW, it is time for our main event!"

Garfield stomped down the ramp to a chorus of boos from the crowd with an incensed, focused look on his face.

"To say Garfield has been on a rampage of destruction in recent weeks would be a gross understatement." Early informed. "Ever since defeating Tommy Vercetti in the first-ever Cell of Chaos match at Nightfire, he's been dead-set on regaining the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, and has been untamable backstage, even by his owner and manager, Jon Arbuckle!"

Garfield stepped over all three ropes and glared around the arena with a look of anger.

"You got that right. . .after the events of the XCW Summer Supershow, where he came SO close, but SO far from gaining a victory against the God of Destruction, Chaos The Hedgehog, he's been annihilating everything in his path just because he didn't win the match! Couple that, along with everything he and his opponent have been through since XCW's inception, and I have a feeling that this last man standing match is going to be an absolute war."

Garfield stared up the ramp, snarling in anticipation until. . .

. . ."This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played, as Tai Kamiya ran down the stage to cheers from the crowd, focusing only on the ring.

"If you ask me, I can't think of a better match stipulation for this rivalry to boil over on than Last Man Standing, Shake!" Early said. "If this man, Tai Kamiya, knocks Garfield out for the ten count, and ends his path of destruction, he will have saved XCW from utter annihilation at the hands of the monster Garfield, and put a perfect footnote on this retelling of the hero David versus the monster Goliath!"

The crowd cheered as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles, raising the World Heavyweight title belt above his head and toward the fans.

"These two men have each won a match against each other, tied at one a piece." Shake informed. "This could go either way for the current XCW World Heavyweight Champion, because earlier tonight, he assured that he was focused solely on defeating the monster Garfield, and being the last man standing! Now there have been major health concerns about his right knee since his match at Wrestlemania, but considering what's at stake here in this match tonight, considering all the destruction Garfield's put XCW through, and Tai's hatred for the monster, I believe that Tai will go through whatever he has to, in order to defeat Garfield, retain the XCW World Heavyweight title, and be the last man standing!"

Tai then stood in the corner opposite Garfield, as Plankton came to stand in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen. . .the following contest. . .is. . .the Last Man Standing match. . .scheduled for one fall. . .it is your main event for the evening. . .and it is for. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!"

The crowd cheered as Garfield stared down Tai with a hateful look on his face.

"Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .from Muncie, Indiana. . .he is 'The Monster'. . .GARFIELD!"

Garfield could only snarl at Tai with hatred, and continue giving him the same sinister glare as the crowd erupted into boos.

"And his opponent. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .he is the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .TAI KAMIYA!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as Tai continued to stare down Garfield until the referee raised the World title belt above his head. . .then signaled for the bell to ring. . .

. . .and the match officially began with Tai charging toward Garfield's legs. . .but Garfield took him down with a massive big boot!

"The monster saw Tai coming before the match even began!" Early said. "And now Garfield is in early control of the XCW World Heavyweight Champion!"

With Tai still down, Garfield kicked him in the ribs, and picked him up by his right foot. . .and drove his knee right into the mat with a knee smash! Tai writhed in pain as Garfield began to stomp away on Tai's knee repeatedly until he finally backed off, waiting for the referee to start counting! 1. . .2. . .3. . .but Tai pulled himself up with the ropes and made it back to his feet once the count reached three! Tai quickly charged toward Garfield and managed to dropkick one of Garfield's legs out from under him with his right leg, bringing him down to one knee, but aggravated his right knee in the process!

"Tai still suffering the effects of all the pain and suffering his rival Davis Motomiya put his right knee through in their Throw in the Towel match at Wrestlemania!" Early said. "Garfield's already taken advantage of it, and Tai's offense is limited!"

"That's an understatement, Early!" Shake added. "His aerial attacks and technical maneuvers will be impossible to do without going through a small about of pain! What's Tai going to do next?"

Tai wormed toward the ropes and pulled himself up to his feet, then jogged toward Garfield. . .and nailed him in the face with an Enziguri, striking Garfield with his LEFT foot!

"And the World Heavyweight Champion showing off a form of ambidexterity!" (1!) Early said. "He may have knocked Garfield's lights out!" (2!)

Garfield laid on the mat with his shoulders down as the referee counted to 3. . .

. . .but Garfield managed to sit up and rise to his feet. . .until Tai swept his legs out from under him with a spinning kick to his heels! Garfield toppled back onto the mat back-first, as Tai stepped nimbly toward a nearby corner. . .and climbed up to the top rope!

"Tai Kamiya taking risks like he always has, despite only having one good leg!" Early said.

"You HAVE to take risks to defeat Garfield, Early!" Shake said. "That's why I have a bad feeling that Tai may be missing a LEG in addition to the World Heavyweight title after this match. . ."

Tai sized Garfield up. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .

. . .and landing a diving elbow drop to the heart of Garfield! Garfield stayed down on the mat, clenching his chest in pain as the referee made the count! 1. . .2. . .3. . .

. . .Garfield reached a standing position at the ref's count of four! Garfield then turned to his left and saw Tai pulling himself up with the ropes. . .then stomped toward him and clotheslined him HARD over the ropes and down to the ringside floor, with Tai hitting it face and body-first! Garfield climbed over all three ropes before stepping off the ring apron and picking up Tai's right leg. . .AND SMASHING HIS KNEE AGAINST THE COVERED CONCRETE! Tai cried in pain, grasping his knee as the referee began the ten count, but Garfield grabbed Tai by the hair and. . .pulled him up to his feet?

"Uh-oh. . .the XCW World Heavyweight Champion may be in for a WORLD of hurt. . ." Early foreboded.

"Garfield doesn't want the referee to count to ten until he knows he's down and out for HIMSELF!" Shake said, as Garfield slugged Tai in the face, then gripped him by the back of his head. . .and rammed it into the edge of the barricade! As Tai fell backward in a daze, Garfield caught him in his arms, Irish whipped him forward. . .and sent him right into the steel steps, Tai colliding into them and knocking them out of place with a sickening thud! Garfield then pulled Tai up by the hair again and and smashed it against the ring post-

-or, he would have, if Tai didn't back kick him with his good leg! Now free, Tai turned around to face his adversary. . .and slap Garfield in the chest with a chop! Garfield winced in pain as Tai continued to hit him in the chest with chop after chop until he was backed up against the barricade. Tai then backed up to the ring apron, ran toward Garfield. . .and nailed him in the face with a high knee from the good leg! Garfield stumbled around the ringside floor in a daze before falling down to all fours. Garfield tried shaking his head back into reality, until Tai came around to his front. . .gripped him in a headlock. . .and took him down with a DDT on the floor!

"And Tai Kamiya is back in control of this Last Man Standing match!" (1!) Early said, as the referee started a ten count! (2!) His count reached three. . .

. . .as Tai grabbed onto Garfield by the fur and pulled him toward the steel post with all his might!

"Tai knows it'll take more than just a DDT to put Garfield down for the count!" Early said. "It looks as if the Crestbearer of Courage is bringing out his big ideas already!"

Tai reached the steel post and let Garfield go, resting his head on the bottom set of steel steps. Tai then stepped toward the top set of stairs, which were lying in front of the remains of the Spanish commentator's table. . .and picked them up, to cheers from the crowd!

"Oh no. . .we all know Tai hates Garfield, and vice versa. . .but this could be the most sadistic thing I've ever seen Tai Kamiya do to anything and ANYONE!" Shake foreboded.

"It may not be kosher, but Tai knows he has to do it in order to defeat Garfield, and end his rampage once and for all!" Early said, as Tai stepped toward Garfield. . .raised the small steel steps. . .

. . .AND CRUSHED GARFIELD'S HEAD WITH THEM AGAINST THE BOTTOM STEEL STEPS!

"OH MY GOD! Garfield's brains may be scrambled!" Early shouted, as Tai raised the steps again. . .AND HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH THEM AGAIN!

"You said it yourself, Early!" reminded Shake. "Tai knows he has to do anything and EVERYTHING to put the monster down!"

Tai smashed Garfield's face into the bottom steel steps with the small steel steps once more. . .

. . .then TWICE more. . .

. . .then THREE more times. . .

. . .until he finally threw the steps down to the ringside floor and kicked Garfield off the bottom steps, letting him fall onto the floor front-side up, prompting the referee to begin the ten-count! 1. . .

2\. . .

3\. . .

4\. . .

5\. . .

6\. . .

. . .Garfield made it to his feet at the count of seven, glaring menacingly at Tai, as he charged toward the Crestbearer of Courage. . .and took him down with a massive battering ram headbutt! After Tai hit the floor hard, he sat up from the impact, wincing in pain and wiping what he thought was sweat from his face. . .

. . .but it was actually blood. . .but Tai looked up at Garfield, who was standing above him. . .bleeding from the forehead!

"All those shots with the steel steps did a lot of damage to the monster Garfield, but it may come back to haunt him, because Garfield is busted open. . .and in more of a rabid state than since the beginning of this match!" Early said, as Garfield pulled Tai up by the hair and Irish whipped him. . .only to keep his grip on Tai's wrist, pull him back toward him, and take him down with a massive clothesline! Tai made impact on the ringside floor again, only for Garfield to pull him up by the shoulders. . .lift him off the ground. . .and throw him down the ringside floor! Tai landed on his neck and shoulders in front of the remains of the Spanish announcer's table in a crumbled heap!

"Tai Kamiya's folded up like an accordion, Shake! And now the monster Garfield is on his way back over here!" Early said, as the referee began the ten count, and Garfield stepped toward Tai.

"The referee's not gonna be counting for long, Early!" Shake said, as Garfield pulled Tai up by the hair and drug him toward a brown wooden table that Early and Shake were using as a makeshift announcer's table.

"Both of our announcer's tables were destroyed earlier in the night, so we're doing our best to make do with what we have. . .but the action's coming to our neck of the proverbial woods yet again!" Early cried, as he ran for dear life, ripping off his headphones!

"HOLY CRAP! I'm outta here too, Early!" Shake screamed as he bolted from the announcer's table. Meanwhile, Garfield Irish whipped Tai toward the nearest set of steel steps in front of the announcer's table. . .and Tai collided into them so hard, the top set landed in the front row of the crowd! Tai cringed in agonizing pain on the ringside floor until Garfield pulled him back up to a standing position. . .draped his arm over his back. . .

. . .lifted him up for a Forward Suplex through the wooden announcer's table. . .

. . .but Tai dropped out of it behind him, and took Garfield down with a swinging neckbreaker! Tai then pulled Garfield by the shoulders toward the table with all his might and draped him face-down over the table. Tai then climbed onto the ring apron and sized Garfield up. . .

. . .leapt off the ring apron. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO GARFIELD'S ARMS, BEFORE GETTING SMASHED THROUGH THE TABLE WITH A PUMPHANDLE SLAM! Both Tai and Garfield were down by the ringside area as the referee began a ten-count!

As the crowd went wild with chants of, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!", Early and Shake returned to their seats behind the remains of their now-second announcer's table. (1!)

"We're back at ringside, ladies and gentlemen, and Tai Kamiya and Garfield are down and out!" Early said, as the referee's count reached two! "Tai went for a moonsault, but Garfield caught him in mid-air and drove him through our table!"

"GOD DAMN IT!" Shake screamed. (3!) "That's now THREE announcer's tables that have been destroyed tonight!" (4!) "Can't we call a match in PEACE?" (5!)

"On a night like this, Shake. . .the answer is no!" Early said, as the referee's count reached six! The referee counted to seven. . . "Now, in a last man standing match, if both men are counted out, then this match ends in a draw. . ."

. . .as Tai successfully made it up to his feet, selling his back in pain. . .

". . .but this match isn't over yet!" finished Early. "Tai Kamiya, is back up-"

. . .BUT GARFIELD LIFTED HIM UP IN A MILITARY PRESS!

". . .or at least he WAS. . ." Shake added, as Garfield tossed him into the ring with a Military Press Slam, sending him flying above all three ropes. . .and landing onto his face and knees first! Tai cried in pain as he clenched his right knee while the referee began a ten count, and Garfield stepped toward the barricade, reached into the first row of fans. . .and pulled out the small set of steel stairs that flew into the stands earlier! (1!)

"Garfield's already a monster. . .but with a weapon in hand, he can do all kinds of destruction!" Early said. (2!) "This does not bode well for the XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . ." (3!)

"The referee's counting Tai down, while Garfield's planning to initiate more destruction!" Shake said. (4!)

Garfield roared at the fans in front row, to more boos from fans and leaving children in tears before throwing the small set of stairs into the ring, then picking up the larger set of stairs on the ringside floor and throwing THOSE into the ring over all three ropes, as the referee's count reached five! Garfield then looked under the ring apron and slid two steel chairs into the ring under the bottom rope, then as the referee's count reached six, Garfield pulled out a barbed-wire board and rested one end of it on the ring apron, and the other end on the barricade. Garfield then stepped onto the ring apron, then climbed over all three ropes as the referee's count reached seven. . .but Garfield saw Tai lying in the corner. . .charged toward him. . .

. . .but Tai raised his knees up, nailing Garfield in the face with them! With Garfield dazed temporarily, Tai then pulled himself up to the top rope. . .and took Garfield down with a diving bulldog, causing Garfield to hit one of the steel chairs face first! Tai rose to his feet as the referee started the ten count!

"Tai Kamiya finally getting some offense after Garfield brought some artillery into the ring!" Early said. (1!)

"Garfield should just let the referee make the count!" Shake said. (2!) "But he wants nothing more than to murder Tai in cold blood!" (3!) And with all these weapons in the ring right now, Tai could use them to his advantage on his way to ending Garfield's warpath!" (4!)

Tai backpedaled to a nearby corner with a steel chair in hand as the referee's count reached five. . .

. . .six. . .

. . .seven. . .

. . .but a dazed Garfield had pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes once the referee's count reached eight! Garfield turned to face Tai, who ran right out of the corner. . .

"The monster Garfield is back up, but still reeling!" Early said. "And Tai's got an opening with that steel chair—"

. . .and NAILED Garfield in the face with a steel chair! Garfield fell down to his back, clenching his head in pain, until Tai hammered him in the chest and back repeatedly, eventually bending the chair in half!

"The big man is down, and the champion is going off on him!" Early cried. "After everything this monster's done to him, his wife, and this company, Tai looks hellbent on taming Garfield, and leaving him down for the count!"

After striking Garfield for a TWENTIETH time, Tai threw the chair down to the mat seething with hatred, looking down at Garfield as the referee counted to one. . .

. . .two. . .

. . .three. . .

. . .four. . .

. . .five. . .

. . .six. . .

. . .seven. . .

. . .but Garfield pushed himself up to his feet at eight! Tai then charged toward Garfield again, putting Garfield in a waist-lock before trying to lift him up. . .

. . .but Garfield's weight was too much on Tai's knee, causing Tai to collapse!

"OOOH! Tai bit off more than he can chew right there!" Early said.

With Tai down, Garfield stumbled toward a steel chair and picked it up. . .then raised it high above his head. . .and smashed it against Tai's injured knee! Tai screamed in agonizing pain as Garfield him in the knee with the steel chair again. . .then let the referee begin his ten count as he set it up around Tai's knee. . .AND CLIMBING UP THE TOP ROPE!

"NO! NO! (1!) Tai's knee has gotta be hanging by a thread right now! (2!) THIS IS GONNA DESTROY HIM!" Early screamed. (3!)

"Tai went into this match already injured! He brought it on himself!" Shake shouted, as Garfield reached the top rope! (4!)

"THE BIG MAN IS ABOUT TO GO FLYING…." Shake yelled! (5!)

"…AND TAI'S ABOUT TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL-" (6!) Early exclaimed, as Garfield sized Tai up. . .

. . .LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE FOR A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT TAI ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY! Garfield hit the mat, landing on his feet a little awkwardly while Tai pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes, causing the referee to stop his count at seven. Grimacing in pain, Garfield sold his foot, until Tai took him down with a chop block! As the referee began another ten-count, Tai climbed up to the top rope with the bent steel chair in hand. . .

. . .waited for Garfield to rise up to his feet. . .

. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .and nailing him square in the face with the steel chair, knocking him down and starting another ten count! 1. . .

2\. . .

3\. . .

4\. . .

5\. . .

6\. . .

7\. . .

. . .GARFIELD MADE IT TO HIS FEET AT EIGHT!

"NO! Tai almost had Garfield out cold!" Early said, as Tai backpedaled to a corner, pulled himself up to the top rope. . .

. . .leapt off for a flying crossbody block. . .

. . .but Garfield caught him in mid-air, locking him in the Cathug!

"Now the monster Garfield's got Tai locked in the Cathug!" Early cried. "The pain must be excruciating!"

Tai wheezed and gagged while fighting for air but to no avail! Garfield fell down to his knees, taking Tai down with him. Tai continued attempting to elbow out of the hold, but he began to fade out of consciousness, waving his arms slower and slower. . . .

"Tai may be down for another ten-count here. . ." foreboded Early. . .

. . .

. . .but Tai gained a second life, hitting Garfield in the temple with a right hand! Getting fed up with him, Garfield pulled himself back up to his feet, slowly stepping toward a nearby corner, perching Tai onto it, but not before slugging him hard in the temple with a right hand. With Tai dazed on the top rope, Garfield picked up a steel chair. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .hit Tai with a MASSIVE unprotected chair shot, that sent Tai falling off the top rope. . .

. . .AND FACE AND CHEST-FIRST RIGHT THROUGH THE BARBED-WIRE BOARD! The crowd groaned and cringed in pain as Tai winced and wailed in agony as he rolled off the board, with his chest and face now busted open! Tai laid on the ringside floor as the referee began the ten count!

"GOOD GOD! THE CHAMPION IS BUSTED OPEN!" Early screamed unintelligibly. (1!) "Garfield left that barbed-wire board there for safe-keeping, and sure enough, it went into good use for him, but not for Tai Kamiya!" (2!)

"Between that and the Cathug, Tai's gotta be out!" Shake said. (3!) "We're gonna have a new World Heavyweight Champion!" (4!)

Tai stirred as the referee's count reached five. . .

. . .grabbed onto the barricade at six. . .

. . .pulled himself up with all his might at seven. . .

. . .accidentally put too much pressure on his right knee, causing him to falter a bit at eight. . .

. . .but successfully pushed himself up with his left leg, successfully making it to a standing position as the referee's count reached nine!

"TAI KAMIYA IS FIGHTING THROUGH IT ALL, SUCCESSFULLY REACHING HIS FEET!" Early cried, as Tai looked under the ring apron for weapons. . .and came out with a kendo stick and a fluorescent light tube.

"Tai's coming back into the ring with a vengeance. . .and with those weapons, he could conquer this beast once and for all!" Shake said, as Tai slid back into the ring, charging toward Garfield. . .and whacking him in the chest with the kendo stick! Garfield roared in pain, selling his chest until Tai swung the kendo stick again. . .and nailed Garfield in his foot with it!

"Tai taking advantage of the foot Garfield may have tweaked earlier!" Early said.

"And like a tamer at a circus, Tai Kamiya is taming this monster!" added Shake, as Tai swung the stick at Garfield's foot again, then his chest, successfully bringing Garfield down to the mat back-first! Tai went for one more swing of the kendo stick, driving it right into his face. . .

. . .or, he WOULD have, if Garfield didn't grab onto it before it could make impact. . .pull himself up to his feet with it. . .and wrestled it out of Tai's grasp. . .then raised it high above his head. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT TAI WHACKED GARFIELD IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH THE FLOURESCENT LIGHT TUBE, SHATTERING IT! Garfield fell face-down onto the mat to the deafening sound of the crowd chanting "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" as the referee began the ten count!

"OH MY GOD! TAI MAY JUST GAVE THE MONSTER GARFIELD A FACEFUL OF GLASS!" yelled Early. (1!) "THAT FLOURESCENT LIGHT HAD TO HAVE KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD!" (2!)

"AND IT HAD TO HAVE GIVEN HIM MERCURY POISONING ON TOP OF IT!" added Shake. (3!)

Tai backpedaled against a corner as the referee counted to four. . .

. . .while Garfield grabbed onto the bottom rope at five. . .

. . .reached his knees at six. . .

. . .pulled himself up at seven. . .

. . .grabbed onto the top rope at eight. . .

. . .and successfully made it to a standing position at nine. . .

. . .ONLY FOR TAI TO DIVE OFF THE TOP ROPE AND TAKE GARFIELD BACK DOWN WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK! Garfield fell back down to the mat while Tai backed up to a set of ropes as the referee began a ten count!

"Tai Kamiya succeeding in keeping the big man off his feet, and face-down onto the mat!" Early said. (1!)

"And he's on the ball again, Early!" Shake observed. (2!) "He's ready if the monster even DARES to stand back up!" (3!)

Tai watched Garfield lie on the mat as the referee's count reached four. . .

. . .but Garfield grabbed onto the middle rope at five. . .

. . .reached his knees at six. . .

. . .pulled himself up at seven. . .

. . .grabbed onto the top rope at eight. . .

. . .and successfully made it to a standing position at nine. . .

. . .as Tai leapt off the ropes for a springboard leg drop, with Garfield's face below a set of steel steps. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT GARFIELD NAILED TAI IN THE FACE WITH A SAVATE KICK! Tai fell to the mat, completely laid out as the referee began another ten count!

"OHHHHHHHHH!" Early cringed. (1!) "SHADES OF YOKOZUNA! HOW GARFIELD GOT THAT QUICK, I'LL NEVER KNOW, BUT HE ABOUT KNOCKED TAI'S HEAD OFF WITH THAT MASSIVE KICK!" (2!)

"YOKO-WHATS-HIS-NAME WOULD BE PROUD, EARLY!" agreed Shake. (3!) "This HAS to be it!" (4!)

Tai rolled onto his side, squirming toward the ropes at five. . .

. . .the referee counted to six, as Garfield. . .

. . .stepped toward a corner?

"Wait a minute. . .what the hell is Garfield doing?" Early wondered. (7!)

"He's got the match won. . .but Tai's on his way back up!" Shake observed, as Tai had pulled himself up with the ropes, and broken the ten count! Turning toward the corner, Tai charged up each turnbuckle. . .

. . .kneed Garfield in the kidney. . .

. . .AND GRIPPED HIM INTO A WAIST-LOCK!

"Tai Kamiya—oh NO…" Shake foreboded!

"WOAH WOAH! IS TAI ABOUT TO DO WHAT I THINK HE'S ABOUT TO DO?" Early asked, as Tai rested his left foot on the top rope. . .

"GARFIELD'S A BIG MAN, EARLY!" Shake yelled. "THIS IS GONNA BE ONE HUGE SUPERPLEX!"

"IT'S NOT JUST A SUPERPLEX, SHAKE. . ." Early shouted. . .

. . .as Tai lifted Garfield off the top rope. . .

"IT'S A GERMAN SUPERPLEX!"…

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND TOOK GARFIELD DOWN WITH A GERMAN SUPERPLEX THAT CAUSED THE LEFT SIDE OF THE RING TO IMPLODE AND COLLAPSE WITH GARFIELD'S IMPACT!

"OH MY GOD!" Early screamed unintelligibly!

"WHAT THE HELL?" Shake shouted, as the fans chanted "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!", while the referee began the ten count!

"THE RING JUST IMPLODED! (1!) THE HATRED TAI AND GARFIELD JUST BLEW UP THE RING! (2!) AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!" Early shouted, as the referee's count reached three!

"THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY MOTIONLESS, EARLY!" Shake said. (4!) THIS MATCH HAS GOTTA BE OVER, AND JUST LIKE CHAOS BEFORE HIM, GARFIELD FAILED TO GET THE WIN!

The referee's count reached five. . .as Garfield and Tai each rolled to opposite sides of the ring!

"AND TAI WOULD FAIL TO END GARFIELD'S RAMPAGE!" Shake said, as Tai and Garfield grabbed onto their respective ropes at the count of six. . .

"BUT BOTH MEN NOT ONLY WANT TO WIN, BOTH MEN WANT TO END EACH OTHER!" Early shouted, as Garfield and Tai pulled themselves up at seven. . .

"THIS MATCH HAS TO END SOMETIME, EARLY!" Shake said, as the referee's count reached eight. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .as Garfield and Tai were reeling on opposite sides of the ring as the referee's count reached nine. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT MADE IT TO THEIR FEET BEFORE THE REFEREE COULD COUNT TO TEN!

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT, SHAKE! I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Early yelled. "These two men have busted each other open, they've bruised each other, one of them probably poisoned the other, they've destroyed the ring, but their hatred for one another is FUELING THEM! IT'S FUELING THEM, SHAKE! And they won't stop until one of them has defeated the other, and is wearing the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!"

Tai and Garfield turned to face each other and stepped toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring. . .and began trading punches, with Garfield nailing Tai in the face with a right hand, with the crowd chanting "BOOO!" in unison with his punches, but Tai bounced off the ropes behind him and struck Garfield in the face with a right hand of his own to cheers of "YAY!" from the fans! Garfield and Tai continued hitting each other with right hands, until Tai surprised Garfield with a chop to the chest! Tai continued driving Garfield backward with chop after chop until Garfield slipped onto his back, thanks to the slanted ring!

"The right hand and chop combination plus the slanted ring have caught the monster off-guard, and now Tai Kamiya has Garfield right where he wants him!" Early cried, as Tai looked around the ring and saw a collapsed corner on the left side the ring. . .with the top turnbuckle loose?

"Tai can't be thinking high-risk here. . .that corner is DONE FOR!" Shake said, as Tai stepped toward the corner, ripped off the protective covering. . .

"I don't think Tai's thinking about going up top, Shake. . ." Early foreboded, as Tai pried the corner loose. . .

. . .pulled it toward Garfield with the ropes loose, but still attached. . .

. . .wrapped the ropes around Garfield's neck. . .

. . .AND LOCKED HIM INTO THE CROSSFACE WITH THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE UP AGAINST GARFIELD'S FACE! The crowd erupted into cheers as Tai applied MORE pressure to the hold, with the ropes still around Garfield's neck! Garfield gasped and wheezed for air, but to no avail, as Tai let out a scream of intensity!

"THE CROSSFACE! THE CROSSFACE! TAI'S GOT THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN!" Early screamed unintelligibly!

"GARFIELD'S GOT NOWHERE TO GO, EARLY! TAI'S GOT THE MATCH WELL IN HAND!" shouted Shake, as Tai pressed the corner harder into his face, causing it to dig deeper and deeper into Garfield's open wound, while Garfield thrashed and squirmed with all his strength, trying to break free. . .but his arms began to move slower and slower!

"HE'S FADING! THE MONSTER IS FADING!" Early yelled, as Garfield's eyes began to roll back into his head. . .

. . .and he came close to falling into unconsciousness. . .

. . .as Tai kept his grip on the Crossface. . .

. . .

. . ."TAI'S VICTORY IS ALMOST ASSURED—"

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT JON ARBUCKLE SLID INTO THE RING FROM BEHIND TAI AND NAILED HIM IN THE BACK OF HIS RIGHT KNEE WITH A STEEL CHAIR!

"—OH, NOW WAIT A DAMN MINUTE! WHERE THE HELL DID ARBUCKLE COME FROM?" Early yelled in disgust as Tai let go of Garfield, wailing in pain as he rolled onto his back, while Garfield took MASSIVE gasps of breath!

"HE CAME IN THROUGH THE CROWD, EARLY!" Shake answered. "Tai never saw him coming!"

"He never saw that chair shot coming, and now Tai's knee has got to be obliterated—" Early said. . .before Jon Arbuckle hit Tai's right kneecap with the chair again! Tai rolled onto his chest, letting out cries of pain as he pulled himself up to his left knee. . .

. . .ONLY FOR ARBUCKLE TO HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH THE CHAIR, LAYING TAI OUT ON THE MAT! Jon Arbuckle glared down at Tai with a sadistic smirk before throwing the chair down to the mat, and leaving the ring over the second rope and striding up the ramp. . .while the referee began the ten count!

"Jon Arbuckle, Garfield's owner and manager is as hungry for power as Garfield is for lasagna!" Early said. (1!) "And that was a sickening display in what has otherwise been a remarkable and amazing Last Man Standing match!" (2!)

Garfield staggered up to his knees, still gasping for breath as the referee's count reached three. . .

. . .then grabbed onto the ring ropes at four. . .

. . .started pulling himself up once the count reached five. . .

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! TAI HAD THE MATCHUP WON, UNTIL THAT DAMN ARBUCKLE BAILED OUT HIS CLIENT!" Early shouted, as Garfield reached his feet, still catching his breath at the count of six. . .

. . .WHILE TAI GRIPPED ONTO THE ROPES BEHIND HIM!

"—BUT TAI'S STILL IN IT! TAI STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!" (7!) Shake screamed, as Tai pulled himself up with the ropes as the referee's count reached eight. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .Tai grabbed onto the top rope at NINE. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND REACHED HIS FEET AT 9.75! The crowd erupted into cheers as they began chanting "TAI! TAI! TAI!"

"THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION IS UP! HE'S UP! HE MADE IT TO HIS FEET!" Early screamed unintelligibly while Garfield turned around. . .and stood frozen in shock upon seeing Tai taunt at him, shouting "COME ON!"

"TAI'S IN THE FIGHTING SPIRIT DESPITE EVERYTHING HE'S BEEN PUT THROUGH!" Shake shouted. "AND HE WANTS GARFIELD TO GIVE HIM HIS BEST SHOT!"

Garfield snarled as he charged toward Tai upward on the slanted mat. . .

. . .but Tai dropkicked Garfield in his bad ankle, causing the big man to fall face-down onto the mat! Tai then backed up against the ring ropes behind him. . .ran forward. . .and baseball slid into Garfield's torso, knocking him under the bottom rope and down to the ringside floor! Garfield sold his head in pain after it hit the ringside floor on impact, then rose up to his knees. . .

. . .then came to a standing position. . .

. . .ONLY FOR TAI TO CHUCK THE SMALL SET OF STEEL STAIRS OVER THE ROPES AND RIGHT INTO GARFIELD'S FACE! Garfield fell down face-up, laid out on the ringside floor as the referee began the ten-count while Tai waited on the far side of the ring!

"Tai just threw that small set of steel steps like a shotput!" Early screamed. (1!)

"Try saying that five times fast, Early!" Shake quipped. (2!)

"I'll do that later, Shake. . ." Early answered, as Garfield rose to his knees, clenching his head in pain. (3!) ". . .once we have a winner in this Last Man Standing match! (4!) And right now, Tai Kamiya may have finally knocked the monster Garfield out for the count!" (5!)

Garfield crawled for a few steps as the referee's count reached six. . .

. . .rose up to kneel at the count of seven. . .

. . .got onto his good foot at eight. . .

. . .pushed himself up at nine. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND MADE IT TO A STANDING POSITION AT 9.75!

"THE MONSTER GARFIELD IS STILL STANDING! DESPITE BLOWING UP THE RING, DESPITE HIS FACE GETTING CRUSHED LIKE A GRAPE AGAINST TWO SETS OF STEEL STEPS, DESPITE ALMOST GETTING THE LIFE CHOKED OUT OF HIM, IS STILL STANDING!" Early shouted unintelligibly as Tai charged toward him. . .

"WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR TAI TO PUT DOWN THIS BEAST?" Shake screamed, as Tai leapt over the collapsed ring ropes. . .

"PERHAPS THIS HIGH-RISK MANEUVER—" Early shouted, as Tai leapt off the ring apron for a flying forearm . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO GARFIELD'S ARMS!

"OH NO! TAI IS CAUGHT—" Early yelled, as Garfield kept his grip on Tai. . .

. . .AND SENT HIM FLYING UP THE RAMP WITH A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Tai hit the metal ramp with a sickening crash, and laid out on it as the referee began a ten-count!

"GARFIELD JUST THREW TAI LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES UP THAT RAMP!" Early cried. (1!) "HOW HE'S STILL GOT THE STRENGTH TO THROW EVEN THAT, I DON'T KNOW, BUT HE USED IT TO SHATTER TAI'S TAILBONE!" (2!)

"These guys have to be running on FUMES at this point, Early!" Shake said. (3!) "That's gotta be it for Tai. . ." (4!)

"Don't underestimate the man's heart, Shake!" (5!) Early said, as Tai slowly rolled onto his chest. . .and tried pushing himself up. . .but collapsed due to exhaustion!

"I'm not underestimating his heart…but he's gotta be done! There's no way!" Shake said, as the referee's count reached six. . .while Tai tried pushing himself up again!

"THERE'S TOO MUCH AT STAKE, SHAKE!" Early insisted. "THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE, THE STATE OF THE COMPANY, AND THE LEGITIMIZATION OF TAI'S CAREER RIDE ON THIS MATCH!"

The referee's count reached seven while Tai reached his knees. . .

. . .then got to one foot at eight. . .

. . .pushed himself up. . .but Garfield came up from behind him, just WAITING FOR HIM TO STAND UP AT NINE. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND TAI SUCCESSFULLY MADE IT TO HIS FEET AT 9.9999999!

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS—" Early shouted, as Tai exhaled in relief. . .until Garfield grabbed onto his sides!

"—YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT FOR MUCH LONGER, EARLY!" Shake screamed, as Garfield lifted Tai up high above his head. . .

. . .BUT TAI DROPPED OUT OF IT, LANDING ON ONE FOOT RIGHT BEHIND GARFIELD! Tai dropped to a knee as Garfield turned around to face him. . .

. . .raised a foot for a Big Boot to Tai's face. . .

. . .but Tai grabbed onto it before the boot could connect!

"That super-sized foot could've knocked Tai out for good, Shake!" Early said, as Tai pulled himself up to his feet, his grip still on Garfield's leg. . .

. . .and took him down with a Dragon Screw! Tai then grabbed onto Garfield's shoulders and pulled him up with all his might. . .

. . .Irish whipped him up the ramp. . .

. . .AND THREW GARFIELD RIGHT INTO A STEEL STRUCTURE OF THE XCW LOGO! Garfield knocked it over, and fell onto the stage in a crumbled heap as the referee began the ten-count!

"THESE TWO MEN ARE DESTROYING EVERYTHING, SHAKE! RINGSIDE, THE RING, AND NOW OUR STAGE!" Early shouted. (1!)

"THEY'LL DESTROY ALL OF LIBERTY CITY AT THIS RATE, EARLY!" Shake said. (2!) "I have a bad feeling this place will never welcome us back, thanks to these two!" (3!)

"If that's what it took to leave Garfield down for the ten count, it was worth it, Shake!" (4!) Early answered. "DID TAI DO IT? IS TAI STILL THE CHAMPION?!" (5!)

Tai watched as Garfield pressed his palms against the steel floor of the stage at six. . .

. . .then push himself to his knees at seven. . .

. . .plant a foot on the ground at eight. . .

. . .stagger up at nine. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY MAKE IT TO HIS FEET AT 9.999999!

"NO! THE BIG MAN STILL WON'T GO DOWN! WHAT DOES TAI HAVE TO DO TO KNOCK GARFIELD OUT?" Early shouted, as Tai charged toward his adversary for a clothesline. . .

. . .but Garfield slugged him down to the stage with a vicious uppercut; Tai's back hitting the stage with a sickening thud!

"Just like that, Garfield fought back into this thing with ONE RIGHT HAND!" Shake said, as Garfield stood over Tai, gripped him by the hair. . .and pulled him up to his feet before the referee could start the ten count!

"Garfield's had to watch Tai Kamiya stand up from blow after blow. . .but now he's looking to end this match. . ." Early said, as Garfield turned Tai around. . .

. . .lifted him up by his sides. . .

. . .AND THRUST HIM BACK DOWN ON THE STAGE WITH AN ATOMIC DROP! Tai grimaced in pain as his legs hit the steel stage, putting more pressure onto his injured knee!

". . .and he'll do it with every atomic drop he hits on the Crestbearer of Courage!" Shake said. "His knee has GOTTA be shredded!"

Garfield kept his grip on Tai's sides as he lifted him up again. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED HIM ONTO THE STAGE WITH ANOTHER ATOMIC DROP!

"THAT STEEL IS AS UNFORGIVING AS GARFIELD HIMSELF!" Early cried, as Garfield lifted Tai up one more time. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM BACK DOWN WITH ONE LAST ATOMIC DROP! Garfield finally let go of Tai, letting him fall face-first onto the stage. Tai clenched his knee in agonizing pain as Garfield raised his right hand high above his head, and roared toward the crowd, who booed back at him!

"The monster Garfield is signaling that the end is near to this match, AND to Tai Kamiya!" Early said, as Garfield extended his arm out from his side. . .

. . .waited for Tai to push himself up to his knees. . .

. . .AND GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT!

"You're damn right the end is almost near, Early!" Shake agreed. "Nobody's ever gotten up from Garfield's Chokeslam!"

Garfield then pulled Tai up to his feet. . .

"Tai's gotten up from a lot of things tonight. . ."

. . .raised him HIGH above his head. . .

". . .but this is the end of the line—"

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .but Tai kicked Garfield in the face, causing him to reel backward, and run into a large piece of scaffolding behind him! Garfield winced upon making impact, causing him to let go of Tai! Tai landed onto his good foot first in front of him. . .slowly but surely pushed himself up to a standing position and backpedaled against a nearby large air filter as Garfield stumbled toward him. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .RIGHT INTO A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION FROM TAI'S GOOD LEG! Garfield bent forward, selling his ribs. . .as Tai pulled him onto the top of the air filter with every bit of strength he had!

"The monster Garfield's ribs and chest have taken a beating tonight…EVERY BIT OF GARFIELD'S BODY has taken a beating tonight—" Early said, as Tai draped Garfield's arm over his back. . .

"—and so has Tai's—wait a minute, what the hell is Tai thinking here?" Early wondered, as Tai exhaled. . .

. . .AND TRIED PULLING GARFIELD UP ABOVE HIS HEAD!

"OH MY GOD—OH MY GOD!" Early shouted, as Tai kept Garfield up off his feet. . .

"DOES TAI HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH LEFT?" Shake asked, as Tai shrieked with intensity. . .

"THIS HAS TO BE THE LAST OF IT-"

. . .BEFORE FALLING BACKWARD. . .

"-OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD-"

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND DRIVING GARFIELD THROUGH THE STAGE BELOW WITH A BRAINBUSTER, AS HE IMMEDIATELY COLLASPED TO THE FLOOR OF THE AIR FILTER!

"OH MY GOD!" SCREAMED EARLY, AS TAI LAID DOWN ON THE STAGE, WITH GARFIELD IN A HOLE UNDER IT! TAI GASPED FOR BREATH WHILE THE ENTIRE ARENA SCREAMED "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" AND "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!", AS THE REFEREE BEGAN THE TEN COUNT!

"TAI KAMIYA JUST USED THE LAST BIT OF STRENGTH THAT HE HAD TO DRIVE GARFIELD RIGHT THROUGH THE STAGE! AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!" Early shouted unintelligibly. (1!)

"THEY'RE BOTH LAID OUT, EARLY!" Shake called. (2!) "THIS IS IT! WHOEVER GETS UP FIRST IS THE WINNER!" (3!)

"NO ONE CAN GET UP FROM THAT, SHAKE!" (4!) "NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE!" Early said, while the referee's count reached five. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AS TAI PLANTED HIS FEET ONTO THE AIR FILTER!

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. . .I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Early screamed. "TAI IS AWAKE! TAI IS STILL ALIVE! TAI IS STILL TRYING TO MAKE IT UP TO HIS FEET!"

"HE'S NOT HUMAN! HE CAN'T BE HUMAN! SORA IS MARRIED TO A BIONIC MAN!" Shake cried, as Tai struggled to bring himself to his feet. . .while the referee's count reached SIX!

"TAI VOWED TO BE THE LAST MAN STANDING! HE PROMISED TO BE THE LAST MAN STANDING! HE WON'T STOP AT NOTHING TO BE THE LAST MAN STANDING!"

Tai reached one knee as the referee's count reached SEVEN!

"THAT WILL. . .THAT HEART. . .THAT DETERMINATION. . .HE'S USING EVERYTHING HE HAS LEFT! GET UP, TAI! COMPLETE THE RESURRECTION!"

Tai pushed himself up with his good leg at EIGHT. . .

"COMPLETE THE COMEBACK, TAI. . ."

. . .FALTERED FORWARD TOWARD THE EDGE OF THE AIR FILTER AT NINE. . .

"BE THE LAST MAN STANDING. . ."

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND TAI KEPT HIS BALANCE ONCE THE REFEREE'S COUNT REACHED TEN!

"AND BE THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!" Early finished, as the referee called for the bell! Tai fell backward, landing onto his rear as the bell officially rang!

"THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH. . .AND STILL. . .THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOORLD…..TAI KAMIYA!"

"THIS SOLD-OUT CROWD HERE IN LIBERTY CITY HAS ERUPTED, SHAKE! THEY CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY JUST SAW! BECAUSE DESPITE EVERYTHING THAT HIS KNEE WENT THROUGH, EVERYTHING ARBUCKLE TRIED TO PUT HIM THROUGH, EVERYTHING THAT GARFIELD PUT HIM THROUGH, TAI KAMIYA PERSEVERED THROUGH IT ALL TO REMAIN THE LAST MAN STANDING!" Early screamed unintelligibly, as the referee handed Tai the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt!

"My God. . .what a match!" Shake said. "Tai FINALLY tamed the beast Garfield, saved XCW from any more destruction. . .and completed his resurrection! All while remaining the XCW Heavyweight Champion of this world!"

Tai scooted to the edge of the air filter, slowly and carefully pushing himself off it, Tai's feet gently landing onto the stage. Tai then stumbled toward the center of the entranceway, and scanned the arena with his bloody face, listening to the fans chanting "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"

"Oh, he legitimized his resurrection, all right! Tai Kamiya is on cloud nine! Tai Kamiya is the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, and Tai Kamiya has cemented himself as the star of this company, and once again, as one of the brightest stars in this business!" Early stated. "Like everyone else who fought here tonight, Tai gave everything he had for these rabid fans, and I can proudly predict that they are all going home happy!"

"You said it, Early!" Shake agreed. "They've gotta be going home excited, too, because tomorrow night is the start of XCW's 'New Era'! I don't know who will rise to challenge Tai for the XCW World title tomorrow, but I DO know that whoever it is will have to be ready for a FIGHT."

Tai raised the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt high above his head, to more cheers from the crowd!

"They certainly will, Shake. . ." Early agreed. "For those at home who want to see Tai's resurrection in XCW from the beginning, feel free to tune to AO3, because a marathon of the first six months of XCW's history is about to begin, culminating with the simulcast of a brand-new episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre on the Fanfiction Wrestling Network, and our new home, on AO3! Until then, ladies and gentlemen, for Master Shake, I am Early Cuyler!"

Tai remained standing on the stage as pyro went off on the ramp in front of him!

"THANK YOU for being a part of XCW Heatwave! Good night, everybody. . .from Liberty City!"

After the pyro died, Tai fell to his knees, still holding the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt as XCW Heatwave went off the air!

Results

Rolf defeated Kenny McCormick (c) in a Falls Count Anywhere match to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion  
Hotsuma defeated Bugs Bunny in a Tables match  
Arthur defeated Claude Speed (c) in a First Blood match to become the new XCW World Television Champion  
Sora Takenouchi (c) defeated Peach Toadstool in a Hardcore match to retain the XCW Women's Championship  
Tommy Vercetti defeated Spongebob Squarepants in a Liberty City Street Fight  
The South Park Four (Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman) (c) defeated D-Generation Ed (Ed and Edd) and the Mario Brothers (Mario and Luigi) in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match to retain the XCW Tag Team Championships  
Tai Kamiya (c) defeated Garfield in a Last Man Standing match to retain the XCW World Heavyweight Championship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And like that. . .
> 
> . . .poof. . .
> 
> . . .IT'S DONE! I would like to thank everyone who gave me help and feedback along the way as I wrote this pay-per-view! It means so much, and I am forever grateful!
> 
> Also...the winner of the prediction contest IS...CATO! Congrats, bro! Expect a PM from me about your prize!
> 
> My goal was to get this chapter done BEFORE the month of August, because my real life is going to get hectic by then because of my job. But rest assured that I will be working on XCW whenever I can, because I know you guys love reading it as much as I love writing it.
> 
> On the next episode of Monday Night Massacre. . .there will be fallout from the events of Heatwave, and the New Era officially begins! New superstars, new theme song, new rivalries. . .what will happen? Anything and everything!
> 
> All that will come soon, until then, ladies and gentlemen, please READ, REACT, REVIEW, AND GRADE XCW HEATWAVE!


	40. XCW Massacre: July Week 1 Part 1

And so it begins. . .a brand new chapter. . .and THE NEW ERA OF XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING!!! I only own my championships.

“In Two” by Nine Inch Nails played as and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

“Out with the old, and in with the new is the theme for tonight, because we are fresh off the heels of the bloodiest, most brutal, most extreme pay-per-view in XCW’s early history, and moving forward into a new era, with a new theme, new rivalries, and new opportunities for the XCW roster! Who knows what will come their way on the first night of this new era? Hello again, everybody! I’m Early Cuyler, with Master Shake at ringside, and Shake, I am excited to find out what we’re all in store for right here tonight in Edge City!”

“I am too, Early!” Shake agreed. “But last night was a defining night in the history of this company…..the critical acclaim and buyrates Heatwave received were through the roof! But Space Ghost promised last night that XCW would only get better from here. . .so there’s gotta be something more to this ‘New Era’ than just a new theme and new opportunities! I’ve got a feeling that Space Ghost has more than a few surprises in store for us, and the XCW fanbase here in Edge City tonight!”

“In your own words, Shake. . .you got that right!” Early said, until. . .

. . .”Hit Single” by Sonny Sharrock played, to cheers from the crowd!

“. . .and sure enough, we’re starting the night off with a word from our Commissioner!” Early said, as Space Ghost stepped onto the entranceway and walked down the ramp with a wide, excited smile on his face.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .SPACE GHOST!!!”

“Space Ghost sure has done a stand-up job ever since regaining his position as Commissioner of XCW in May.” Early said, as Space Ghost walked up the steel steps and entered the ring above the second rope. “He’s booked a stellar Summer Supershow, signed former World Champions Eddy and Spongebob, and now he’s put together an instant classic of a pay-per-view in last night’s Heatwave!”

“He sure has, Early!” said Shake. “But even last night when he announced that XCW would be entering a ‘New Era’, he was nothing short of cryptic. . .it’s time the XCW staff, and these XCW fans here in Edge City got some answers from the Commissioner, and we better hear Space Ghost explain it all right now!”

Space Ghost received a microphone from the timekeeper and stepped into the center of the ring, looking around at all the fans chanting “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!” with a smile on his face.

“Greetings, XCW fans! I’m your commissioner, Space Ghost!!!” Space Ghost said, to more cheers from the crowd. “And let me be the first to tell you all from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for attending XCW Heatwave, for ordering it on pay-per-view and watching it at home. Each and every one of you tuning into Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling every single week for the past six months has built this company into what it is today, and for that, I am forever grateful. The overwhelmingly positive reception, and massive buyrates for last night’s pay-per-view has only assured more success for XCW right now, and for the foreseeable future.”

“A lot of people have called XCW Heatwave to be the bloodiest, most brutal event in the history of this company, and they’re probably right. One particular review our extreme-themed pay-per-view even called Heatwave our “magnum opus.” But let me promise you all. . .that the best is yet to come, and it starts right here, right now. . .in the dawning of XCW’s NEW ERA!!!”

Space Ghost paused to let the fans continue chanting “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”

“And allow me to explain how. . .” Space Ghost continued. “First of all, this episode is the first of many to be simulcast on not only the Fanfiction Television Network. . .but on a brand spankin’ new network that I am very happy for XCW to be apart of. . .AO3! That’s right, XCW has joined The Archive, and our first night on The Archive will be a night I, our roster, and you fans will never forget.”

“And with a new home on a new network, comes new EVERYTHING! We’ll be debuting new backstage personnel, new rivalries, we even got a new theme, thank you Trent Reznor and Nine Inch Nails. . .and most importantly. . .new wrestlers! And you’ll see a couple new faces in our Diva’s division when we begin a three-week tournament to determine the number one contender for Sora Takenouchi’s XCW Women’s Championship, right here, TONIGHT!!!”

The fans erupted into more cheers as Space Ghost paused once again. 

“And the winner of this tournament will go on to face Sora for the title in a one-on-one match at Silver Lining, our next pay-per-view! That will be a special night in and of itself as well. . .I’ll get to the reason why later, but first, I’d like to also announce that following his victory in a Last Man Standing match against the monster Garfield, Tai Kamiya will put the XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line in our main event tonight, a one-on-one match against. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .”The Animation Icon”. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!”

“WOAH!!!” Shake exclaimed, as the crowd began to cheer once more, and chant “X-C-DUB!!!”

“The World Heavyweight Championship is on the line tonight on Monday Night Massacre!” Early said, before Space Ghost put the microphone up to his mouth again. 

“And now. . .that brings me back to Silver Lining.” Space Ghost said. “Silver Lining will be a special night because on that night, live in King’s Landing. . .XCW will debut a concept for a ladder match, which isn’t quite new. . .but it’s a first for this company. WWE refers to it as. . .”Money in the Bank”. . .’

The crowd erupted into cheers as Space Ghost paused.

“. . .you win a “Brass Ring” from it in UWE. . .

. . .but in XCW. . .this match is called. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .THE SILVER LINING LADDER MATCH!!!”

The crowd exploded into thunderous cheers and applause as Space Ghost looked around the arena with a smirk.

“OH MY GOD!!!” Shake shouted.

“ALL RIGHT!!!” Early said. “Money in the Bank is finally debuting in XCW as the Silver Lining Ladder Match!”

“You will see eight men fight to climb up a ladder, try to retrieve the briefcase hanging twenty feet high above the ring, and earn himself a contract that gives him a shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship at any time, and at any place! And tonight you will see the first of four qualifying matches for the Silver Lining Ladder Match, and these qualifying matches will take place over the course of the next two weeks! Four men will earn the right to be in the match. . .but the other four men in the match have already been decided. And joining me right now from the backstage area to announce the four out of eight men in the Silver Lining Ladder match, is our new backstage interviewer. . .”The Crestbearer of Sincerity”, MIMI TACHIKAWA!!!”

The titantron cut to a shot of Mimi standing backstage, pink cowgirl hat and all, in the interview area with a microphone, giggling before putting her microphone up to her mouth.

“Thanks, Space Ghost!” Mimi said with a smile. “The first four men in the first-ever Silver Lining Ladder Match are. . .

“The South Park Extremist. . .KENNY MCCORMICK!!!”

The crowd gave a mixed reaction to the first announcement.

“The Champion of Life. . .MARIO!!!” 

The crowd gave another mixed reaction to Mimi’s announcement.

“The self-proclaimed TRUE Animation Icon. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!”

The crowd erupted into boos upon hearing the third announcement.

“And. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .’Liberty City’s Lucifer. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!’”

The crowd erupted into massive cheers, then began chanting “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!”

“Thank you, Mimi!” Space Ghost said back in the ring. “The other four participants in the Silver Lining Ladder match will be determined by four qualifying matches. . .and you will see “The Harwood Butcher” himself, Tommy Vercetti fight in the first one right here, TONIGHT!!! Thank you all very much!”

Space Ghost’s entrance music kicked on as the crowd buzzed with excitement, chanting “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!” The XCW Commissioner stepped out of the ring and walked up the ramp with a confident smile on his face as the show faded to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Early and Shake sat at their announcer’s table.

“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, we’re only ten minutes into the new era of XCW. . .and I like it already! A tournament begins tonight to determine Sora’s next opponent, the first of four qualifying matches for the Silver Lining Ladder match is tonight, AND most important of all, the XCW World Heavyweight Championship is on the line in our main event, with Tai Kamiya clashing with the Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny!” Early said.

“I’m not excited at all, Early. . .in fact, I’m horrified!” Shake said. “After everything they gave last night, Space Ghost is making Tommy Vercetti AND Tai compete in matches with SOMETHING on the line, without barely a break! Spongebob and Sora got nights off. . .what is our commissioner thinking?”

“Tai and Tommy were declared well enough to compete well after the conclusion of Heatwave last night, Shake!” Early answered. “Not only that, but both our champion and the Harwood Butcher have been well aware of the bumps and bruises that come with this industry, and know how to play with the pain! So Space Ghost is simply thinking about the fans and our new era! And the first match in our new era is about to start right here, right now!” 

The show cut back to the ring, where Plankton stood in the center of it with a microphone in hand.

“The following diva’s contest is scheduled for one fall!”

"T&A" by Jim Johnston played as Nazz strutted onto the entranceway and posed to the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .she is D-Generation Ed’s ‘Assistant With Assets’. . .NAZZ!!!”

“And this match is the first of four in the first round of a tournament to determine the next number one contender for the XCW Women’s Championship! Last night at Heatwave, Princess Peach Toadstool and Sora Takenouchi fought in a Hardcore match for the ages with the XCW Women’s title up for grabs. And there was no crying over broken nails in this match, folks! Blood was spilt, glass was shattered, and tables were destroyed, but in the end, the Crestbearer of Love prevailed, settled the score and left Liberty City as the XCW Women’s Champion!” Early said, as Nazz strutted down the ramp to cheers from the crowd until she climbed up a corner turnbuckle and did the DX crotch chop.

“But at a heavy price, Early!” Shake added. “According to our doctors, Sora had lost a quarter of her blood supply by the end of that match! However, she received a successful blood transfusion at a nearby medical facility, and will return to Monday Night Massacre next week! Peach, on the other hand, is a different story. . .she suffered a plethora of injuries, and will be out of action in XCW for an indefinite amount of time. . .so with the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom away from the ring, it’s time for us to learn who will be the next woman in the XCW locker room to contend for our Women’s Championship!”

Nazz stood in the center of the ring, looking up the ramp with anticipation until. .  
. . .

. . .

. . .”Eruption” by Van Halen played?

“What the—who the hell is this???” Shake wondered. . .as a skinny female body stepped onto the stage, playing the most EPIC of guitar solos with an electric guitar, but the center light was down, veiling her identity.

“One of XCW’s newest acquisitions, Shake! And the first character from her franchise to appear in a fiction wrestling ring!” Early said, as the lights on the stage went up, revealing the woman on the stage to be. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

“And her opponent. . .making her Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .she is “The Goddess Of Rock”. . .CASEY LYNCH!!!”

As Casey finished the guitar solo, “Cliffs of Dover” by Eric Johnson played all over the arena, and Casey strode down the ramp with a confident smirk across her face, and her electric Gibson guitar in hand, until she rested it against a ring post upon reaching the ring.

“There’s not much that we know about Casey Lynch, apart from her experience in our developmental territory in Liberty City, appropriately named Liberty City Wrestling!” Early informed. “There, Casey worked her way up our developmental roster, and would come to win the LCW Female’s Championship on two occasions!”’

Casey entered the ring and raised her right arm high in the air, flashing the “Rock On!” hand sign to the fans, who were giving her a mixed reaction as Nazz looked on and studied her opponent.

“Well, this woman’s about to learn that there’s a BIG difference between our developmental territory and the big leagues, Early!” Shake said. “She may have made it as a rock star, but against Nazz, a former XCW Women’s Champion? Might as well not even have the match! The Assistant With Assets is gonna put this rookie down faster than you can say Coheed and Cambria!”

The bell rang and the match began with Casey and Nazz charging toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring in a tie-up. Nazz put Casey in a headlock, but Casey charged forward, driving Nazz up against the ropes. As the two bounced back, Casey tried putting her arm around Nazz’s neck to go for a bulldog, but Nazz shoved Casey forward, into the ropes on the other side of the ring. Nazz went for a clothesline as Casey bounced back, but Casey ducked under it and bounced off the ropes in front of her. Nazz turned around to face her. . .but Casey took her down with a spinning heel kick! Casey went for a quick cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out! Casey pulled Nazz up by the hair and slugged her in the face with a series of right hands that sent her reeling against the ropes behind her, then right into another heel kick! Casey went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!!!

Casey went to pull Nazz up by the hair again, but Nazz kicked Casey in the shin, breaking her grip. Nazz then put Casey in a headlock and took her down with a snapmare, then nailed her in the back with a dropkick! Nazz went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Casey kicked out! Nazz then pulled Casey up by the arm and Irish whipped her into a corner, then went for a flying clothesline. . .only for Casey to spin out of the way, causing Nazz to hit the top rope face first! Nazz reeled out of the corner in a daze. . .and right into a sit-out facebuster from Casey! Casey went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Nazz kicked out!!!

“The newcomer Casey Lynch has been in total control since the beginning of this one-on-one contest!” Early said, as Casey pulled Nazz up to her feet. . .only for Nazz to slap her across the chest with a chop!

“But the former Women’s Champion, Nazz, may have finally found an opening!” Shake observed, as Nazz continued to whack Casey in the chest with chop after chop until she was backed up against a corner. Nazz followed it up with a high knee to Casey’s chin, sending her to fall into a seated position in the corner! 

“She’s found an opening, all right. . .and may have Casey right where she wants her!” Early said, as Nazz backed up to the opposing corner! 

“Nazz has a hot ass. . .and Casey’s gonna get a faceful of it, because here comes the Bronco Buster!!!” Shake exclaimed, as Nazz charged toward Casey. . .

. . .WHO LEAPT OUT OF THE CORNER AND TOOK NAZZ DOWN WITH A HEADBANGER (Suicide Dive)!!!! 

“OOOOOOOH!!!! The rookie just took Nazz by surprise with that aerial maneuver!” Early cried, as Casey went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Nazz kicked out at 2.5!!!

“GOOD GRIEF!!! I don’t even know how Nazz was able to kick out of that! She looked down for the count!!!” Shake cringed, as Casey pulled Nazz up by the hair and slugged her with a serious of right hands before knocking her back down with a clothesline. Nazz stumbled up to her feet. . .only for Casey to knock her back down with a high knee! But Casey didn’t stop there, quickly pulling Nazz up by the hair and Irish whipping her against the ropes, but Nazz managed to counter it with an Irish whip of her own! As Casey bounced back, Nazz kicked her in the midsection and put her in a headlock, then ran toward the ropes for All That Nazz. . .

. . .but Casey gripped Nazz by her sides and dropped her with a Full Nelson Bomb!!!

“Nazz looked desperate going for All That Nazz, and she paid the price with a brutal counter from the self-proclaimed Goddess of Rock!” Early shouted, as Casey rose up to her feet, taunting for Nazz to get up!

“Casey’s just relentless, Early! She’s DYING to end this match!” Shake said, as Nazz rose up to her feet, until Casey lifted her up. . .

. . .rested her on her shoulders, face-up. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HER ON HER HEAD WITH THE CURTAIN CALL (Reverse Death Valley)!!!!

“And with that inverted Death Valley Driver, Casey Lynch has sent a message to XCW’s diva’s division. . .” Early said, as Casey went for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!! 

“. . .and has advanced in this tournament!!!” finished Early, while Casey rose to her knees, and stared down Nazz with an angry stare as the bell rang!

“The winner of this match. . .the ‘Goddess of Rock’. . .CASEY LYNCH!!!”

Casey rose to a standing position, upon which the referee raised her arm in victory, until Casey. . .ripped her arm out of the referee’s grasp?

“Casey Lynch put on one hell of a showing in her fiction wrestling debut, ladies and gentlemen!” Early said. “She displayed a massive amount of physical prowess and sheer brutality, something that our diva’s division has been sorely lacking!”

“And she made fighting a former Women’s Champion look like a cakewalk!” Shake added, as Casey stepped out of the ring, and strode toward a ring post while Nazz slowly stumbled up to her feet. “But what’s Casey doing now?”

“I have no idea. . .” Early said, as Casey grabbed her electric guitar by the neck from up against the ring post and slid into the ring. Meanwhile, the referee was checking on Nazz, who slowly but surely came to her senses. . .

. . .UNTIL CASEY NAILED HER IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH HER ELECTRIC GUITAR!!!!

“OH COME ON!!!” Early screamed. “What was that about????”

To boos from the crowd, Casey lowered the guitar, staring down at Nazz with a satisfied smirk as the referee ordered her to back off.

“That was about sending a more emphatic message to the rest of the women in this tournament, Early!” Shake said. “Casey Lynch may new to XCW and fiction wrestling, but she’s not gonna play around, OR play nice, for that matter! She’s gonna fight with the utmost intensity, and whoever she fights next better be ready for her!”

“She has quite the strength and tenacity. . .AND quite the attitude, on top of it. . .” Early said with disgust, as Casey slid out of the ring and stepped up the ramp, looking at a dazed Nazz from the foot of the ramp until the show went to the backstage area, where a VERY heavily bandaged Tommy Vercetti strode down a hallway until he reached Space Ghost’s office and stepped in the doorway, watching the XCW Commissioner talk on his cell phone while sitting at his desk. 

“I shouldn’t have to pay for that, sir! Her possession was beyond my control—look, let me call you back.” Space Ghost said into his cell phone before hanging it up, and looking up at Tommy. “Hello, Mr. Vercetti! What can I do for—“

“Well, Space Ghost, I got a question for ya…” Tommy said, stepping up to Space Ghost’s desk and looking at him dead in the eye. “Why is it that I gotta fight tonight to qualify for the Silver Lining ladder match? Do you SEE these bandages? Hell, I STILL feel a burn wound on my face!”

“Wow, Tommy. . .I never thought I’d live to hear you complain. . .I thought you were better than that.” Space Ghost replied. “But. . .I booked you in a qualifying match tonight because I believe you’re well enough to compete. . .you were put through every kind of pain imaginable, and yet you STILL walked out of the building under your own power! The crowd loved it, and so did I. It was so admirable, and so will be fighting tonight!”

“Then why’d you give nights off to SpongeCog, Garfield, and Mario—“ Tommy started to ask, until Space Ghost cut him off.

“Thanks to YOU, Spongebob is only in stable condition in a Liberty City hospital; Garfield suffered a concussion that will put him out of action for an indefinite period of time, and Mario is tending to Peach, who is also out indefinitely. If you want to prove yourself as the most tenacious warrior amongst tenacious warriors in this company, and stay admired by those people, you’ll go out there tonight and FIGHT!”

“As you wish. . .” Tommy said, scoffing as he made his way back to the doorway of Space Ghost’s office.

“You know else you need to do, Tommy?” Space Ghost asked, causing Tommy to stop in his tracks.

“You need to be more like Claude. . .he does what he’s told. . .and keeps his mouth shut.”

Tommy grumbled under his breath upon hearing Space Ghost’s words, and stomped out of the office and back down the hallway as the show faded to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Tai Kamiya stood in a hallway in a conversation with Bugs Bunny.

“—anyway, I just wanted to tell you good luck, and may the best man win tonight!” Tai said, extending his arm for a handshake.

“Thanks, Doc!” Bugs said, accepting Tai’s handshake. “It’s gonna be a great fight! We’re gonna blow the roof off this place—“

“TAAAI!!!!” someone shouted off-screen, causing Tai and Bugs’s ears to perk as the sound of footsteps rapidly came closer and closer to the scene, until. . .

. . .Mimi Tachikawa tackled Tai into a massive hug!

“It’s so great to see you!!! I can’t believe this is happening!!! We’re in the same backstage area of the same arena, and in the same company!!! It’s almost like old times!!! Isn’t this great???” Mimi asked, not letting go of her good friend and fellow DigiDestined.

Meanwhile, Bugs looked on, his eyes wide. “I’ll. . .see ya in the ring, Mac. . .” he said before walking off.

“Yes, Mimi, this is great. . .can you please let me go before my lungs collapse?” Tai responded, before Mimi finally let go of Tai.

“I’m sorry, Tai. . .” Mimi said. “I’m just so excited! The new era of XCW has started, and with it, comes my new job! I’m so happy to be here!” 

“I can tell. . .but I’m happy you’re here, too!” Tai replied. “I just wish Sora was here for this, too. . .but she’ll be back really soon!” 

“Tell her I said get well soon—“ Mimi said, before gasping. “Sorry Tai, I just remembered I have to interview the South Park Four right now! We’ll talk soon, and good luck tonight!” 

“Thanks, Mimi!” Tai said as Mimi continued stepping down the hallway, eventually reaching the South Park Four’s locker room. . .and seeing the lock was busted?

“Huh?” Mimi slowly pushed open the door. . .

. . .and shrieked as she saw Cartman, Stan, and Kyle bruised, beaten and bloodied on their locker room floor in a crumbled heap, with Kenny lying next to them decapitated, and his spine completely ripped out!!!

“OH MY GOD!!!” Early screamed. “The South Park Four have been brutally assaulted! Who could have done this???”

“Whoever did it. . .THEY KILLED KENNY! Those bastards!” Shake exclaimed, as Mimi ran away from the scene, screaming, “Somebody help them!” while the camera stayed focused on the beaten bodies of the XCW Tag Team Champions.

“They’re more than just bastards, Shake. . .they had to be out for their blood to want to attack all four of them at the same time!” Early said, as the show cut back to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone. 

“Unfortunately, ladies and gentlemen, we must move on to our next match of the night, but we will keep you updated on the condition of the South Park Four as the night continues!”

“The following contest is a qualifying match for the Silver Lining Ladder Match, set for one fall!”

"Wayfarer" by Kavinsky played as a Haitian Voodoo car rode down the ramp as the crowd erupted into cheers!

"Introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"

“Last night, Tommy Vercetti and Spongebob Squarepants fought not only all over Liberty City, but quite possibly all over the entire fictionverse!” Early informed. “Their Liberty City Street Fight started at the Cluckin’ Bell in downtown Algonquin, and it quickly devolved into a car chase! XCW insiders claim they spotted the two bitter rivals fighting in Spongebob’s hometown of Bikini Bottom, Philadelphia, and even outer space! But Tommy and Spongebob eventually made their way to the XCW Arena in the suburb of Bohan, where after numerous acts of violence, and an emphatic Vercetti Driver off the top rope through a barbed-wire table, Tommy Vercetti defeated the “Extreme Sponge”, and effectively ended his two-month long losing streak!”

Tommy rode the car around the ringside area, coming to a stop at the foot of the ramp, with the hood facing the stage. Tommy stepped out of the car and pumped a fist in the air, saluting the crowd.

“But now Tommy’s complaining about being ran ragged!” Shake said. “If you ask me, he shouldn’t have created the Liberty City Street Fight in the first place! That way, he wouldn’t have put himself through so much pain, or sounded like a whiny little crybaby to Commissioner Space Ghost! And on top of that, he was right to tell the Harwood Butcher that he needed to be more like Claude; Tommy’s got a bad attitude, and needs to be put in his place!”  
Tommy slid into the ring under the ropes and raised both fists in the air toward the fans.

“Claude’s not that innocent himself, and you know it, Shake; he got arrested last night! And while I don’t deny that Tommy has a point. . . a victory here tonight, in his current condition, could only reinforce what we saw last night, and prove even further that he is one of the most durable and tenacious superstars in this company, and arguably in this industry!” 

Tommy looked down the ramp in anticipation. . .

. . .until “Teen Beat Ocean” by Jackson And His Computer Band played, with pyro going off on the titantron in unison to the first notes of the song. Luigi ran onto the stage raising a peace sign towards the ring.

“And his opponent. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. ..LUIGI!!!”

“I don’t know Early, you say Claude’s not innocent, hell, they’re both two-bit thugs, Tommy could’ve killed Spongebob on the streets of Liberty City, and Claude was an inch away from taking Arthur’s life live on pay-per-view, but I say Claude’s a better wrestler than the Harwood Butcher!” Shake insisted. “He can use his fists and use weapons, but he can also WRESTLE. Tommy’s just some backyard brawler that fights with weapons and nothing else! Until he breaks out of that shell, he’ll always be in Claude’s shadow—“

The crowd gave Luigi a mixed reaction as he strode down the ramp, while Tommy turned toward the commentator’s table and shouted, “How about you WATCH THE F***ING MATCH BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY QUICK JUDGMENTS???”

Luigi entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, taunting the fans with his peace sign.

“Well, you made a bold statement, Shake. . .but you also heard the Harwood Butcher! His opponent tonight is also coming off a match that took a physical toll—Luigi was one of six people to fall from twenty feet high above the ring during the Tables, Ladders and Chairs match for the XCW Tag Team Championships; two men landed on the mat, which knocked over two ladders, one of which sent Luigi and Double D crashing through not one, but FOUR tables set up at the foot of the ramp! He and his brother Mario went through hell last night, but while the Champion of Life isn’t here tonight, Luigi is, and with a win could join his brother Mario in the Silver Lining Ladder match!” 

“It’s not that quick if you ask me. . .all we’ve seen Tommy do for the past six months is win the Hardcore championship six times! We haven’t seen him WRESTLE!” Shake said. “Claude HAS! And if Tommy were so tough, he wouldn’t care about what I have to say!”

Tommy kept sneering at the commentator’s table. . .

. . .while Luigi took Tommy down with a chop block, sending him down to the mat as the bell rang and the match began!

“Tommy went through a LOT last night during the Liberty City match, so his temper may still be on the lethal side. . .but it’s yet to make its presence in this match, as Luigi has gained an early advantage over the Harwood Butcher!” Early said, as Luigi backed up and kicked Tommy right in the temple! Luigi then kicked Tommy out of the ring from under the bottom rope, sending him to fall to the covered concrete floor. Luigi stepped out the ring and down to the floor, charging toward Tommy for another kick to his bandaged head, but Tommy caught Luigi by surprise with a drop toe hold, sending Luigi face-first into the steel steps! Tommy then pulled Luigi up to his feet by the overalls and chucked him toward another set of steel steps, sending Luigi to collide into them face and chest first, sending them flying into the barricade while the referee’s count reached four. 

Tommy lumbered toward Luigi and pulled him up by the overalls before sliding him back into the ring under the bottom rope as the referee’s count reached four, and followed into the ring after him. Tommy then pulled Luigi back up to his feet and slugged him with a European uppercut that sent the Other Mario Brother reeling backward against the ropes behind him. Luigi bounced back, right into a massive clothesline from Tommy! Tommy went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out! Tommy pulled Luigi back up and kicked him in the midsection before elbowing him in the back of the head, hitting him in the face with a three punch combination, then taking him down once more with a high knee! Tommy went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out!!!

“Tommy Vercetti is using his lethal temper to his advantage, and sure enough, he’s back in the driver’s seat in this qualifying match!” Early said.

“Did you see him use the steel steps just now, Early? That only proves my earlier point! He just can’t fight without any form of weaponry!” Shake shouted.

Tommy pulled Luigi up to his feet and went for another right hand, only for Luigi to catch it in time and whack him in the chest with a knife-edged chop, with the crowd chanting “WOOO!” in unison with it. Luigi kept hitting Tommy repeatedly with chop after chop until Tommy was backed up against the ropes. Luigi went for a lariat, but Tommy ducked under it, lifted Luigi up and took him down with an Atomic Drop! With Luigi still down, Tommy gripped onto his foot, lifted up his leg and rammed his knee against the mat with a Knee Smash! Tommy went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Luigi kicked out!!!

“Tommy’s fighting like a house of fire right now, but Luigi is as resilient as his brother!” Early said, while Tommy knelt down and went for a sleeper hold, but Luigi countered it into a headlock of his own and took the Harwood Butcher down with a hip toss! Luigi then ran against the ropes behind him and landed a dropkick against Tommy’s bandaged head! Tommy screamed in agonizing pain as Luigi ran against the ropes in front of him and landed a knee drop onto Tommy’s chest! Luigi went for a cover of his own 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out! Luigi pulled Tommy up to his feet and kicked him in the midsection, then took him down with a Northern Lights Suplex pin attempt! Luigi went for another quick cover 1. . .2. . .Tommy kicked out!!! Luigi then rolled Tommy onto his chest and locked him in an STF!!!

“But now Luigi’s back in control! And with Tommy’s head as banged up as it is, there’s no way this backyard brawler is gonna get out of it! The Silver Lining ladder match is all Luigi’s!” Shake declared, as the referee knelt down and asked Tommy if he wanted to quit. But Tommy shook his head no, and fought for dear life to get to the ropes! He waved his arms around and tried to elbow Luigi, attempting to fight out of the hold but to no avail. All he could do was inch closer and closer to the bottom rope as Luigi intensified the hold. . .until he started to fade!

“Tommy’s fading into unconsciousness, Early!” Shake shouted. “I knew he wasn’t that tough!”

Tommy’s body went limp as the referee raised his arm up, and dropped it, letting it fall to his side. The referee counted one before raising his arm again! The referee dropped it, letting it fall to Tommy’s side again, counting two. The referee raised Tommy’s arm once more. . .

. . .dropped it, letting it fall. . .

. . .UNTIL TOMMY’S ARM SHOT BACK UP!!! 

“Well, you thought wrong, Shake, because Tommy is alive and well, and feeling like he’s gonna fight outta this thing!” Early yelled, as Tommy’s eyes opened wide, his brow furrowed with an incensed fury as he went for numerous elbows to Luigi’s temple while pushing himself closer to the ropes. . .

. . .and FINALLY draped his arm over the bottom rope, forcing Luigi to break the hold! Both men were down on the mat as the referee started a ten count!

“That STF took a lot out of Tommy, but all the energy Luigi used to incapacitate the Harwood Butcher was all for naught!” Early said. “Who’s gonna win this thing, and earn the right to compete in the Silver Lining Ladder match???”

Tommy slowly but surely pulled himself up with the ropes on the left side of the ring while Luigi staggered up to a standing position on the adjacent side of the ring. Both men stumbled toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring and trading right hands, with the crowd cheering “YAY!” in unison with Tommy’s right hands, and “BOO!” in unison with Luigi’s punches! Both men continued punching each other until Luigi caught Tommy by surprise with a left hand instead of a right hand, knocking him back toward a corner. Luigi dove toward the corner and nailed Tommy in the face with a corner clothesline, sending him reeling out of the corner in a daze. . .until Luigi caught him and took him down with a rolling suplex! With his grip still tight, Luigi lifted Tommy up. . .and took him down with ANOTHER rolling suplex! Luigi kept his grip on the Harwood Butcher. . .lifted him up once more. . .

. . .or, tried to, but Tommy wrapped his leg around Luigi’s, keeping him on the ground! Tommy glared into the eyes of his opponent, then nailed him right between the eyes with a headbutt, ripping off his bandage but breaking Luigi’s grasp! Luigi stumbled against the ropes, selling his head in pain. . .until Tommy lifted Luigi up and slammed him down to the mat with a Standing Spinebuster!!! Tommy went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 LUIGI KICKED OUT!!! Tommy punched the mat in disbelief! 

“How close was that??? Tommy ALMOST had him there!” Early said, as Tommy pulled Luigi up by the overalls. . .but fell to his knees, selling his head with exhaustion. 

“Well, almost doesn’t cut it, Early!” Shake retorted. “And from the looks of the Harwood Butcher now, he doesn’t have much left…hell, he hasn’t had a lot left since he made it to the XCW Arena last night!”

Luigi slugged Tommy in the side of the head with a right hand, then sent him reeling around the ring again with a Jawbreaker. Tommy sold his jaw in pain as Luigi ran against the ropes behind him, leaping toward Tommy. . .

. . .and dropping him to the mat with a Tornado DDT!!! Luigi went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!!! Luigi rolled off Tommy, looking up at the lights in shock!

“The Other Mario Brother nearly had him there!!!” Early cried!

“BULLSHIT!!! He dropped Tommy on his head! How the hell did he kick out???” Shake wondered, as Luigi rose up to his feet. . .and taunted for Tommy to stand up!!!

“Through fierce tenacity, Shake! Nothing but fierce tenacity, that’s all I can tell ya! But Luigi could end Tommy’s streak before it begins right here!” Early foreboded, as Tommy slowly but surely staggered up to his feet, and turned to face Luigi, who kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .lifted him up for the Gory Bob-Omb. . .

. . .but Tommy dropped out of it behind him! Tommy quickly turned around and shoved Luigi toward the ropes in front of him. . .

. . .waited for him to bounce back. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS, AND HAMMERED AWAY AT HIS FACE WITH SWIFT RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS!!! The crowd erupted into cheers as Tommy punched a mudhole into Luigi’s face! With the crowd alive, Tommy stood up, shouting a flurry of obscenities!

“The Harwood Butcher gained a second rush of adrenaline, Shake! And now the ball is in Tommy’s court!!!” Early shouted.

Tommy taunted Luigi to rise up to his feet. Luigi slowly pushed himself up to his knees, until Tommy pulled up the Other Mario Brother to his feet. . .

. . .hooked his arms. . .

. . .lifted him up. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH THE VERCETTI DRIVER!!!!

“And the Vercetti Driver connects!” Early shouted, as Tommy went for the cover, hooking both legs as the referee made the count! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And Tommy Vercetti is going to Silver Lining!!!” Early announced, while Tommy rolled off Luigi, slowly but surely rose up to his feet under his own power as the bell rang!!!

“The winner of this match. . .’The Harwood Butcher’. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

“Well, it’s safe to say that NOW the Harwood Butcher deserves a break!” Early said. “Tommy’s now been in two hard fought matches in less than twenty-four hours, and displayed the same amount of intensity and adrenaline tonight as he did last night in Liberty City! And now Tommy Vercetti is starting to build a winning streak of his own and now has earned the right to compete in the Silver Lining Ladder match in four weeks at Silver Lining in King’s Landing!”

The referee raised Tommy’s arm in victory as Tommy regained his bearings and caught his breath.

“He may have earned the right to fight at Silver Lining, but he still hasn’t earned my respect!” Shake said. “He still used the steel steps to his advantage at the beginning of the match, and survived this match by the skin of his teeth! Where do his adrenaline rushes COME FROM??? WHERE, I ASK YOU??”

Tommy stepped toward a corner and climbed up to the second rope, raising a fist above his head toward the crowd.

“His adrenaline and drive to win go hand-in-hand, if you ask me, Shake!” Early answered. “With both of those, and his tenaciousness in the ring, I don’t see Tommy’s luck running out any time soon! He’s got a week’s rest on the horizon, and a two-match winning streak under his belt, and as a hardcore specialist, he’ll thrive in that Ladder match!”

Tommy stepped off the second rope of his corner and stepped toward the opposite corner to climb up it. . .until. . .

“Apart from his best friend Claude, there is NOBODY else in that match that’s JUST AS psychotic as ‘The Harwood Butcher’, Tommy—“

“IT’S PARTY TIME!!!”

“Wait a minute….” Early said, as Tommy turned around to face the ramp as. . .

. . .the special mix of ”Cuban Pete” by Jim Carrey played?

“What the hell? What’s going on here?” Shake wondered, as Tommy raised an eyebrow, staring up the ramp with utter confusion. . .

. . .until an extremely long limousine made its way down the ramp?

“Who the hell is in the limo?” Early asked in observation of the limousine.

“Whoever it is. . .he must be doing well!” Shake answered, as the limousine came to a stop at the foot of the ramp. . .and the sunroof opened. . .

. . .allowing a tall man with a green face and yellow suit to jump out of it, and land on the roof of his car, revealing himself to be—

“THE MASK!!!” Early shouted. “THE MASK IS HERE!!!”  
“WHAT??? ANOTHER HAS-BEEN???” Shake screamed. “WHAT IS HE DOING HERE???”

“I have no idea, Shake, but I’m glad to see him! After winning the WCW Tag Team Championship with Ace Ventura multiple times, Stanley Ipkiss hasn’t been seen much, but I have a feeling he’s about to make his presence felt right here, right now in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!” Early said, as The Mask leapt off the roof of his limousine and did a 450 flip over the ropes into the ring, right in front of Tommy!

“. . .and I have a bad feeling this man is going to get on every single one of my damn nerves.” Shake said, as The Mask pulled a microphone out of his ear, and looked around at the crowd cheering for him, before putting the microphone up to his mouth. . .

. . .and shouting. . .

“. . .SSSSSSMOKIN’!!!!”

The crowd erupted into more cheers while Tommy furrowed his brow in disgust at the sight of the green-faced man. “Who the hell are YOU?”

The Mask’s grin comically fell to a frown. “Aw, c’mon, Tommy! You should know! I’ve taken you on adventures for 19 months against your will until this day came! But don’t fret. . .” The Mask said, grinning again. “I can be WHOEVER you want me to be!”

The Mask then spun around in a vortex, and re-emerged as a man with a familiar yellow shirt, and thinning blonde hair.

“I CAN BE THE HULKSTER, AND RUN WILD ON YOU, BROTHER!!!” The Mask shouted, ripping his shirt off with ease, revealing cartoonishly large muscles before spinning around in another vortex. . .

. . .and emerging from it wearing the body armor of a certain Helghast colonel. . .

“. . .or I can be the most evil, serious, completely no-nonsense individual in the entire universe.” The Mask continued, in a deep, monotone, serious voice. “Pet a single kitten. . .and I will KILL YOU.”

Tommy rolled his eyes while the crowd laughed as The Mask spun around in another vortex, this time coming out of it wearing a pink hat and holding a goldfish bowl. 

“OR….I can be a ten-year-old boy with a short attention span and magical ffffffffff………falafel recipes!” The Mask said, before spinning in a vortex and emerging from it in his traditional suit, then stepping up to Tommy’s face.

“But. . .I’ll stay within this company’s rules, and just be your good friend, Stanley Ipkiss. . .otherwise known as THE MASK!!!”

Tommy wiped his face of saliva that flew from Stanley’s mouth before putting the microphone up to his mouth. “You picked the wrong man to annoy tonight, Mask. . .”

“Aw, come on, Tommy! Turn that frown upside down!” The Mask said, pinching both of Tommy’s cheeks, pulling them comically high and letting them snap back, sending Tommy into a fury.

“KEEP PUSHING IT, STANLEY. . .AND I’LL SLAP THE GREEN OFF YOUR FACE!!!” Tommy shouted into his microphone. “Why are you even here, anyway?“

“That’s one of life’s many unanswered questions, isn’t it, Sir Thomas? Why are we here? Who built the pyramids? How can there be a Taken 3? But your question CAN be answered. I haven’t wrestled in so long. . .but when I did, I was a five-time. . .FIVE-TIME. . .FIVE-TIME. . .FIVE-TIME. . .FIVE-TIME. . .WCW TAG TEAM CHAMPION! And like Bugs, and Tai, and Arthur, and Spongebob, and Mario—nah, he just wants more money—I am returning to the big leagues to get a fresh start, to revitalize my career! And upon my arrival in XCW, I intend to rise up the ranks of the roster. . .qualify and win the Silver Lining Ladder Match. . .AND BECOME XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. . .but first. . .”

The Mask then grabbed Tommy’s waistband. . .

. . .gave him a MASSIVE wedgie, pulling his underwear over his eyes. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM ON HIS FACE WITH THE SMOKIN’ END (Mic Check)!!! The Mask stood up, raised the microphone up to his mouth and screamed. . .

. . .”SOMEBODY STOP ME!!!” 

The Mask then climbed up to a corner as his theme music began to play, to cheers from the crowd!

“Early. . .what the hell are we in for with Stanley Ipkiss on the XCW roster?” Shake asked with a monotone inflection.

“From the sounds of what The Mask said just now, he’s throwing his hat into contention for the Silver Lining ladder match!” Early answered. “And I have no doubt in my mind that if The Mask qualifies for that very ladder match, it’s gonna get a lot more unpredictable!”

“WHO WANTS A GLAZED HAM????” The Mask shouted, pulling out a T-shirt cannon and aiming it into the crowd. . .but firing a glazed ham out of it toward someone in the cheap seats.

“Well, make all the references and jokes you want, but the only thing that’ll get The Mask anywhere in this company is a win! We don’t know if he still has what it takes to wrestle! He’s all talk and no action!”

“I’m quite confident that we’ll learn for ourselves soon enough, Shake. . .plus, he’s a man of ONE action: he gave Tommy Vercetti a bigger headache tonight!” 

Tommy had rolled out of the ring, and was currently standing at the foot of the ramp. He snarled in disgust at The Mask, who was still standing at the top rope shouting “YOU LIKE ME! YOU REALLY LIKE ME!” toward the cheering fans until the show faded to a video package. 

The video package began with a shot of Eddy doing Triple H’s signature poses in the center of the ring with Edd, Rolf, Ed, and Nazz posing triumphantly behind him.

“EDDY IS THE NEW LEADER OF D-GENERATION ED!!!” Early shouted, until the package dissolved to a brief montage of Eddy cashing in the Golden Opportunity briefcase, and winning the CWF Championship. 

“Eddy has shocked the CWF world!!!” Iroh said, until the show dissolved to a brief montage of Eddy hitting Kevin with the Suckerbreaker, and holding the PCUW World Championship with tears in his eyes.

“. . ,AND THE NEEEEW PCUW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. . .EDDY!!!” TW announced, as the package dissolved to an image of Eddy dropping Kyle Broflovski with the Edigree in the center of the ring. . .until static began to cut sporadically into the image before blanketing the image completely. 

Suddenly. . .

. . .the image cut to a shot of a road surrounded by a very, very long tunnel. The camera slowly moved down the tunnel. . .while a faint police radio and sirens go off in the distance. 

“We anarchists do not want to emancipate the people. . .” said a gravelly male voice. “. . .we want the people to emancipate themselves.”

The police radio and sirens grow louder and louder in volume. . .until the package cut to black, with a singular word fading up on screen. . .

MILANO.

All right, there’s part one for now. I hope it was worth the wait! Part two will come soon, until then, please READ AND REVIEW!!!


	41. XCW Massacre: July Week 1 Part 2

And now, here’s part TWO of XCW’s first episode in The New Era! I only own my championships.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Mimi Tachikawa stood in a hallway with a microphone in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome. . .the NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion. . .ARTHUR READ!!!”

The camera panned right, revealing Arthur Read standing next to Mimi with the XCW World Television Championship belt around his waist and a confident smile on his face, as the crowd erupted into boos upon seeing him.

 “Arthur. . .last night, you became the new XCW Television Champion of the World after busting Claude open with golf cleats in the First Blood match. . .but Claude didn’t take the loss lightly—“

“Sorry, Mimi, but I have to stop you right there. . .I remember what Claude did to me last night all too well. . .I may have recovered from his assault, but the mental scars still remain. I’m afraid for my life as long as Claude is on our roster. . .which is why I want to send Claude a personal message from me to him while he’s watching this from his prison cell. . .”

Arthur looked right into the camera with a confident smile as he took the TV title belt off his waist and held it up to his shoulders.

“Claude. . .your attack on my life was nothing short of uncalled for. I beat you fair and square last night. I earned the right to be XCW World Television Champion OUTRIGHT, and you deserved to be arrested and thrown in jail like the two-bit thug you are. But I know that your special someone is going to bail you out of jail, and when you’re let out, you’re going to come after me and try to beat me within an inch of my life again. But allow me to warn you. . .that I won’t be that easily broken EVER AGAIN, and I’m going to introduce you to the reasons why. . .Claude Speed, meet my newest friends, and branchmates in the Rookie Revolution. . .”

Suddenly, two doors on opposite sides of the hallway open behind Arthur, and a short raccoon and a tall blue jay walk down the hallway and stand at Arthur’s sides, revealing themselves to be. . .

“. . .MORDECAI AND RIGBY!!!” 

The crowd erupted into gasps of shock as Mordecai and Rigby crossed their arms in front of their chests, and Arthur continued staring into the camera confidently while handing the microphone to Mordecai.

“Thanks for the intro, dude!” Mordecai said, gripping the microphone, and looking into the camera. “We’ve been by Arthur’s side since we signed to XCW’s developmental territory, LCW, where we won the tag team titles twice. We’ve fought together in UEPW, CAWF, CXWE. . .and even now, we’re the current NXT Tag Team Champions as the Regular Show. But here in XCW, we are known as. . .’The Wild Dudes!’”

“Yeah, man!” Rigby agreed. “And AS the Wild Dudes, we’re gonna do MORE in this company than we’ve done anywhere else! We’re gonna finally win a tag team championship in the big leagues, we’re gonna take down all the legends stealing our spotlight, and we’re gonna keep the World Television Championship around Arthur Read’s waist. . .and we’re gonna do ALL OF THAT. . .while televising the Revolution!”

“Mordecai and Rigby speak the truth, Claude. . .” Arthur said. “I am the XCW World Television Champion now. . .and the Wild Dudes and I are the future of this company, AND this business! Try and stop us if you like. . .just know that if you even THINK about challenging me again for this championship. . .”

Mordecai and Rigby stepped forward, looking into the camera, as Mordecai said, “. . .you’re gonna have to go through US. . .”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’ve heard this crap before!!!” Eddy said off-screen, as he stepped into frame and came face-to-face with XCW’s Rookie Revolution branch. “You two can’t claim you’re a force until you’ve proven your worth in the ring! You two may have been developmental tag team champions everywhere you’ve been, but these are the big leagues! And I’ve probably made the same claims you’re making more than once, but I learned my lesson the hard way in the end. . .just keep shoving your way into the spotlight, and you will, too!”

“Oh really, dude? You wanna back those words up right here, right now?” Mordecai said, with Rigby coming up to his side.

“Yeah man! I don’t see your teammates anywhere. . .so be ready to eat your words YET AGAIN!” Rigby said, hamboning as he stepped closer to Eddy. . .until Arthur put his hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

“No, Rigby. . .this glory-hogging veteran is just bitter his stable doesn’t have the tag team championship. . .” Arthur said. “. . .he’ll get his wake-up call when it’s an even fight. . .or maybe sooner than that. . .”

Eddy seethed under his teeth. “Oh, we’re GETTING it soon! Because you know what I’m gonna do? I’m issuing a challenge! You and me in the ring for THAT belt next week! I wanna do MORE than just beat you, and prove my words. . .I want to SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!! What do you say to that, PBS Kid?”

“I say. . . .” Arthur said, before pondering. . .and eventually responding with. . .

“. . .I’ll think about it.”

Arthur left the scene with a smug and confident look on his face with Mordecai and Rigby following behind him, leaving an incensed Eddy standing alone with an angry expression on his face until the show faded to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Mimi Tachikawa stood alone in a hallway with a microphone in hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Crestbearer of Courage, the current XCW World Heavyweight Champion, and my good friend. . .Tai Kamiya!” 

The camera panned right to a shot of Tai Kamiya standing confidently with the XCW World title belt around his waist as he turned to face Mimi.

“It’s not every day you’re interviewed by a friend, is it, Tai?” Mimi asked, with an excited smile on her face.

“No, Mimi, it isn’t. . .” Tai answered. “. . .but it IS every day when you’re hugged to death by one. . .” 

Mimi giggled. “Now then, we couldn’t touch on this earlier, but tonight, you take on your good friend and fiction wrestling legend Bugs Bunny in a match for your XCW World Heavyweight Championship. However, you’re barely a day removed from the Last Man Standing match, and your knee is STILL in shambles, heck, your wounds have barely had time to heal! Do you think you’re being overworked, and you can compete in your condition?”

“Mimi, you should know by now that I’m a very brash leader. . .I like to take action instead of plan ahead, and while that has led to a few missteps here and there throughout my life, I’ve always came out of it all in one piece in the end because I know what to do when the odds aren’t against me. It’s what won me this title in the first place. And as this company’s current World Champion, I’ve set a standard for the roster, gave all the people out there a role model to look up to, and I’m expected to give nothing but my all every time I walk out to the ring. And on this night, where XCW is ushering in a new era, there is no other option. I’ve been a model champion since winning this title, and I will continue to do so. My title must be defended, and it will be defended with honor. . .and that brings me to Bugs Bunny. Bugs has had a long, storied, legendary career, and he will always be my friend. . .but tonight, he’s gonna continue his quest for the XCW World Championship. He’s a crafty wrestler, a wonderful showman, and knows every trick in the book. . .so there’s no way I’m not going to give him all I’ve got. He deserves that, and the XCW fans deserve that. I rush to make decisions, but I’m certain of this. . .tonight, Bugs and I are gonna do more than just give all the fans a title match. . .we’re gonna give them a match for the ages. And I will usher in XCW’s New Era. . .as its World Heavyweight Champion.”

Tai looked into the camera with a confident stare until the show transitioned back into the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

“The following diva’s contest is scheduled for one fall!”

“Simple and Clean” by Utada Hikaru played as Yuna strutted onto the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

“Introducing first. . .from Besaid. . .she is ‘The Cosmos Summoner’. . .YUNA!!!”

“The last time we saw Yuna, she was messed up beyond any recognition at the hands of the then-XCW Women’s Champion, Peach, at Doomsday four months ago. But tonight, Yuna makes her return to the main roster here in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling looking to prove that she can go toe-to-toe with Sora, and the rest of the women on XCW’s roster, and winning this number one contender’s tournament to face Sora Takenouchi for the Women’s Championship at Silver Lining will do just that!” Early informed, as Yuna entered the ring above the second rope and stepped on a top rope in a corner, waving toward the fans.

“She was demoted in the first place for a reason, Early!” Shake said with dismissal. “She tapped out to the abdominal stretch, for cryin’ out loud! Of course she was a two-time LCW Women’s Champion, because everyone down there is still green and has no experience! She’s looking to prove she belongs at the top of this division? She can try all she wants, but she’s in for a rude awakening.”

“Party Tonight” by Mordecai and the Rigbys played as Margaret strutted onto the stage to a mixed reaction.

“And her opponent. . .making her Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .representing the Rookie Revolution. . .from The City. . .she is ‘The Regular Robin’. . .MARGARET!!!”

The crowd erupted into boos upon hearing Plankton announce the Rookie Revolution, but Margaret kept her composure and strutted down the ramp.

“Yet another fresh face in our women’s division is making her debut tonight, and this young lady may be from the Rookie Revolution, but she still impressed in Liberty City Wrestling, winning the LCW Women’s Championship from Yuna a month ago! Now these two former developmental rivals are about to go at it one-on-one as members of XCW’s main roster, with a spot in the semifinals of this tournament on the line!” Early said, as Margaret stepped into the ring above the second rope, waving toward the fans despite unrelenting boos.

“Yeah, and with the crowd CLEARLY on the wrong side. . .” Shake said. “Margaret’s also here managing the Wild Dudes, who after announcing their arrival on the side of Arthur Read, are in for a very bright future as long as they stick with him! And I have a feeling this alliance will rub off on Margaret, and assure her a victory for the Rookie Revolution in this matchup!” 

Margaret turned around to face Yuna, who was standing in the opposite corner, and the two combatants engaged in a staredown.

“And speaking of the Wild Dudes, I’m getting word that Arthur Read has just accepted Eddy’s challenge, and next week, Mordecai and Rigby will accompany the First PBS Kid at ringside when he puts the XCW World Television Championship on the line for the first time against Eddy!” Early announced. 

“Are you serious??? Eddy better hope his teammates are there for him next week, because they ain’t here now, and Arthur’s on a non-stop roll! But who am I kidding, they could end up attacked and beaten like the South Park Four were a while ago. For all we know, their attackers are still at large!” Shake said.

“Well, Shake, I’m getting an update right now, and I’m being told the South Park Four have been taken to a nearby medical facility and being treated, so their likelihood of appearing on next week’s Monday Night Massacre on Knowhere is very high. . .as said earlier, ladies and gentlemen, we will keep you informed on the condition of the South Park Four, and their attackers, once they’ve been apprehended! But right now, it’s time for one-on-one action in our women’s division!” Early said, as the bell rang and the match began! 

Yuna and Margaret stepped toward the center of the ring and met in a tie-up. Margaret put Yuna in a wrist-lock and Irish whipped her across the ring, then cocked back a fist for an uppercut, but Yuna baseball slid Margaret’s legs out from under her, knocking her face down to the mat. Yuna then pulls Margaret up to her knees and takes her down with a hip toss, only to pull her back up and take her down with a second hip toss! Yuna went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Margaret kicked out! 

Yuna quickly pulled Margaret up to her feet and slugged her in the face with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping Margaret across the ring, and taking her down with an armbreaker! Yuna went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Margaret kicked out!!!

Yuna pulled Margaret up to her feet, only to get nailed in a face with a surprise elbow! Margaret then shoved Yuna toward the ropes in front of her, then took her down with a dropkick! Margaret then pulled Yuna back up to her feet and hit her in the face with a three-punch combination that drove the Cosmos Summoner against a corner. Margaret charged toward the corner and hammered away at Yuna’s face with elbow smash after elbow smash until Yuna fell face-down out of the corner and onto the mat! Margaret quickly went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out! Margaret pulled Yuna back up to a standing position. . .only to take her back down with a scoop slam! Margaret went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out!

“So far these two women are proving to be very evenly matched!” Early said, as Margaret pulled Yuna back up to her feet. . .but Yuna gripped Margaret’s wrist upon standing and Irish whipped her hard across the ring. Margaret bounced back. . .and right into a gutbuster from Yuna! As Margaret started to rise up to her feet, Yuna ran against the ropes in front of her, bounced back. . .

. . .and took Margaret back down with a wheelbarrow bulldog!!!

“Yuna’s coming back to the main roster with a few new moves in her arsenal! And she may be about to put Margaret away!” Early said, as Yuna went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . 

2\. . .

. . .2.5 Margaret kicked out!!!

“How close was that???” Early asked aloud, as Yuna sat up from the cover, exasperated. 

“Not close enough, Early!” Shake answered. “Yuna’s gonna have to do more than that to get anywhere in this tournament, AND this company!”

Yuna rose up to her feet and turned around to see Margaret slowly sitting up from the canvas. Yuna quickly sprinted toward the ropes in front of her, and on the bounceback, raised her right foot, going for the Shining Wizard. . .

. . .but Margaret ducked under the kick, grabbed onto Yuna’s leg and swept it out from under her, knocking her down to the mat and putting her in an Ankle Lock!!! 

“Haha! See? She even looked into her old bag of tricks, and paid for it!” Shake called, as Yuna screamed in agonizing pain while Margaret continued bending Yuna’s ankle in places it couldn’t. The referee knelt down and asked Yuna if she wanted to quit. But Yuna violently shook her head no, as she tried to reach for the ropes with her free arms!

“Yuna’s showing more of a fighting spirit than she ever has with XCW, but she’s not where she wants to be right now!” Early said, as Yuna continued to crawl toward the ropes, pulling Margaret with her. She inched closer and closer to the ropes. . .

. . .reached out for the bottom rope. . .

. . .but Margaret pulled her back into the center of the ring!!! Yuna faltered onto her left shoulder, wincing and crying in pain as Margaret kept her grip on the Ankle Lock!

“The Regular Robin’s not gonna let Yuna get off that easy!” Shake said. “This match is well in Margaret’s hands!” 

Margaret continued wrenching onto Yuna’s ankle, while Yuna kept her hand raised just above the mat, trying to reach for the ropes despite their distance. . .

. . .until Yuna planted her hands back onto the mat. . .

. . .rolled onto her back. . .

. . .and with her good leg, kicked Margaret in the abdomen repeatedly until her grip on the hold was broken! 

“And Yuna’s finally free from Margaret’s grasp!” Early said, before Yuna kicked Margaret in the chest again. Yuna then slowly but surely rose up to her feet, but her leg faltered a bit from the Ankle Lock suffered earlier. Yuna pulled herself up to one knee. . .

. . .only for Margaret to take her down with Robin’s Egg Blue (Sitout Facebuster)!!! 

“It was all for naught, Early! The damage has been done!” Shake said, as Margaret went for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 Yuna kicked out!!! Margaret couldn’t believe it! She rose to her feet. . .strode toward a corner. . .and climbed up the top rope!

“The Regular Robin, Margaret is about to do something not-so-regular. . .she’s gonna go high-risk!” Early said, as Margaret reached the top rope. . .

. . .leapt off the top rope for a diving moonsault. . .

. . .but Yuna lifted her knees up right before Margaret’s moonsault made impact!!! Margaret clenched her chest in pain while Yuna slowly rose up to her feet. . .ran gingerly toward Margaret. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE SHINING WIZARD BY USING HER GOOD LEG!!!!

“And Yuna connects with her trademark Shining Wizard!!!” Early cried, as Yuna went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 MARGARET KICKED OUT!!!! Yuna rolled off the cover, exhausted and exasperated as the referee began a ten-count!

“These two women became rivals in LCW, and it’s bled over to XCW in fantastic fashion, because Yuna and Margaret are putting on quite a show! Who’s gonna win this match, and advance in this tournament???” Early asked, as Yuna crawled toward the ropes to her right, while Margaret slowly pushed herself up to her feet. Yuna charged toward Margaret and met her in the center of the ring, and backed her up against the ropes with a three-punch combination. Yuna then Irish whipped Margaret across the ring, then went for a clothesline on the bounceback. . .but Margaret ducked behind it and slugged Yuna in the chest with an uppercut, then took her by surprise with the Venti Breaker (Snap Neckbreaker)!!! Margaret went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 YUNA KICKED OUT!!! Margaret punched the mat repeatedly in frustration, and even let out an exasperated “UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH…..” before rising to her feet and taunting for Yuna to stand up!!!

“Margaret’s came close to winning, but Yuna just won’t stay down!” Shake said. “But from the look of annoyance on the Regular Robin’s face, she wants to put the pesky Cosmos Summoner away once and for all!”

“Margaret’s about to keep the Rookie Revolution on a roll in her XCW debut, as well as advance in this tournament!” Early said, as Yuna staggered up to her feet. . .and right into a wrist-lock from Margaret! 

Margaret then pulled Yuna closer. . .

. . .pressed her foot against Yuna’s chin for the Cardinal Rule (Eat Defeet)---

\--or, she WOULD HAVE if Yuna didn’t catch Margaret’s foot before it could hit her chin! Yuna then whipped Margaret’s leg to the side, causing Margaret to spin around and face the ropes in front of her, before putting her in a headlock. . .

. . .running not only toward the ropes. . .

. . .BUT UP THE ROPES. . .AND PLANTED MARGARET WITH THE GRAND SUMMON (Sliced Bread)!!!!

“AND YUNA, BAD ANKLE AND ALL, JUST TOOK OUT MARGARET WITH A NEW MOVE IN HER ARSENAL!!!” Early cried, as Yuna went for a cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!!!

“And the Cosmos Summoner has advanced in this tournament!!!” Early said, as Yuna rose up from the cover while the bell rang!

“The winner of this match. . .YUNA!!!” 

Yuna rose to her feet and the referee raised her arm in victory as the crowd cheered for the Cosmos Summoner!

“It wasn’t easy, but by God, Yuna fought her heart out here tonight!” Early said. “She braved through a bad ankle following an Ankle Lock, added a few new moves to her moveset, and appeared stronger tonight than she did just five months ago! You’ve got to believe that Yuna looks like a favorite to win this tournament!”

“Hmph……beginner’s luck. . .” Shake mumbled, as Yuna strode out of the ring and began high-fiving fans in the front row.

“Well, Shake might not. . .” Early said, “. . .but nevertheless, following this match and Casey Lynch’s debut, I’m more than certain that the Women’s Division for Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling is only going to get more and more competitive!”

Yuna continued waving to and high-fiving the fans as she made her way up the ramp until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Nazz strode down a hallway clenching her jaw as Mimi Tachikawa came to her side with a microphone in hand.

“Excuse me, Nazz?” Mimi greeted. “Earlier tonight, you fought Casey Lynch in a losing effort in the first match of the tournament to determine the next number one contender for Sora Takenouchi’s XCW Women’s Championship, and you were also hit hard in the jaw by a NASTY guitar shot from the Goddess Of Rock! If I may ask, how are you holding up, and will you miss any time?”

“It still hurts like hell. . .but it’s nothing that’ll make me miss any wrestling time!” Nazz assured. “But rest assured. . .if Casey Lynch keeps up that attitude of hers, she’ll get what she has coming to her sooner than later! But if it isn’t any time soon. . .you can BET that it’ll be from me.”

“You really feel strongly about Casey, Nazz. . .but I don’t blame you! That guitar shot looked like it HURT. . .by the way, Ed and Edd have been mysteriously absent from tonight’s episode of Monday Night Massacre; are they still recovering from that painful fall from last night’s TLC match?”

“You bet they are. . .” Nazz answered, as the two women reached the D-Generation Ed locker room. “Double D and Ed stayed in the Liberty City General Hospital overnight, but they’ll be back next week for whatever comes in their path!”

Nazz opened the door to her stable’s locker room. . .”And Rolf’s been here all night, lying in wait for anyone to challenge for his Hardcore---OH MY GOD!!!”

. . .AND SAW ROLF BLOODIED, BEATEN AND BURIED UNDER A PLETHORA OF FURNITURE!!! The room looked like it had been ransacked; with lockers dented and knocked over, all the benches broken in half, holes in walls, and Rolf lying under chairs, split 2x4s, and barbed wire. . .WITHOUT HIS HARDCORE TITLE!!!

“ROLF!!! Oh my God, Rolf!!!” Nazz shouted. “Speak to me!!!”

“Not again!!!” Mimi said, as she left the room. “I’ll go get help!”

“What happened here, Rolf??? Who won your Hardcore title??? Who did this to you????” Nazz screamed.

“Savages……” Rolf squeaked out. “Savages, the whole lot of them…..they assault Rolf, win Rolf’s title…….destroy everything……”

“WHO???” Nazz shouted one more time. . .but Rolf faded into unconsciousness as the show faded to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, The Mask strutted down the hallway singing a song to himself. 

“Singin’ off the top of maaaah head. . .” The Mask sang, “. . .generic lyrics with no meaning or subtext to be read. . .”

“Enjoying the new era of XCW, so far Stanley?” Space Ghost said, leaning against a wall as The Mask passed him.

“Ooooh, Ghosty…..VERRRRRY MUCH SO!!!” answered The Mask, taking one giant step toward Space Ghost and stepping toward him. “Now that I’m here, I’ve got soooo many questions that need answered. . .”

“Such as. . .?” asked Space Ghost, raising an eyebrow under his mask.

“Well, for one thing. . .who is the anonymous chairman? Who am I fighting in my debut match? Who built the pyramids? Who attacked the South Park Four and Rolf? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? And why is it that commercial breaks here go on and on and on for months at a time?”

“One at a time, Stanley. . .” Space Ghost said, almost in a daze. “And besides, even I don’t know the answer to most of those questions. . .but what I can tell you is that our security is still on the lookout for their attackers, it takes three-hundred and sixty four licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. . .and your first match next week will be against Daffy Duck. . .with a spot in the Silver Lining Ladder match on the line!”

“SSSSSSMOKIN’!!! Tonight. . .I arrived to XCW. . .NEXT WEEK. . .my WRESTLING COMEBACK BEGIIIINS!!!! I’m gonna win that match. . .AND qualify for Silver Lining. . .and I’m going to look GOOD.” The Mask said with a grin, turning to the camera as he finished his last line.

“I’m glad you’re confident. . .” Space Ghost said, before hearing a sound from his cell phone. “All right! It’s time for the main event! To put a cap on this historic night, other XCW personnel and I are gathering to watch it in my office, Stanley! Would you be interested?”

The Mask grinned. “I wouldn’t be interested at all. . .I’d be DELIGHTED!!! I’m ready to get crunk!!! Rock out!!! CRACK THE BUBBLY!!!!. . .but first. . .”

Hurriedly, The Mask stretched his arms toward something to the right off-screen, and pulled it toward him. 

“BINGO!!!” The Mask screamed with an insanely wide grin, as he pulled a wide shot of the arena over his current scene, and transitioned the show back to the arena.

“Well, The Mask is certainly a man of the eccentric type. . .” Early said, sweatdropping. 

“You got that right!” agreed Shake. “I don’t know whether to be happy he got a match, or scared of what that maniac will DO!”

“Nevertheless, Shake, he and Space Ghost are right. . .” Early said, as. . .

. . ."What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron! 

The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage!

“. . .because it is time for our main event!” finished Early. “Space Ghost is correct to say that this has been a historic night for Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, because we’ve witnessed the first of four qualifying matches for the first-ever Silver Lining Ladder match in four weeks, we’ve seen the debut of a new tag team in the Wild Dudes, a new diva in Casey Lynch, and even a new male singles star in The Mask! And we’re capping it all off with a defense of the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!” 

Bugs entered the ring above the second rope and posed on a turnbuckle. 

“And this match could have a historic end as well, Early!” Shake added. “Bugs Bunny has been in the hunt for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship ever since XCW’s inception, and has fought time and time again for that title, only to come up short in the end. And sure, Bugs is coming off a loss to Hotsuma in a tables match last night at Heatwave. But with this night being as historical as it is for this company. . .and Bugs’s never-say-die attitude, I have a feeling that tonight. . .is gonna be Bugs Bunny’s night!”

Bugs stared up the ramp in anticipation until. . .

. . .”This Fire Burns” by Killswitch Engage played!!! The crowd erupted into cheers as Tai ran down the stage, focusing only on the ring.  
“It wouldn’t surprise me either, Shake! Because while Tai Kamiya is coming off a huge victory against the monster Garfield in a Last Man Standing match, he’s looking worse for wear. He took a beating unlike any champion I’ve ever seen; he went through a barbed-wire board, he was slammed through one of our announce tables, he was tossed around the ring like a rag doll, and suffered even more damage to his injured knee. But we’ve doubted Tai Kamiya before, and he’s proven us wrong. . .and he’s the man with the gold around his waist, and he has and he will keep fighting as hard as he does to keep it!”  
The crowd cheered as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles, raising the World Heavyweight title belt toward the fans.  
“You got that right, Early!” agreed Shake. “These two friends have had long, storied, and decorated careers. . .but tonight, they all come to a head in a match for the ages, with the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship on the line, and I gotta feeling that we’re about to see a match that will be talked about for years to come.”  
Tai then stood in the corner opposite Bugs Bunny, as Plankton came to stand in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.  
“Ladies and gentlemen. . .the following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .it is your main event of the evening. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

The crowd cheered as Bugs Bunny stared Tai down.

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. From Burbank, California. . .he is ‘The Animation Icon’. . .BUGS BUNNY!!!!”

The crowd erupted into more cheers for Bugs, who waved back at the fans while Tai looked on at his adversary from his corner.

“And his opponent. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .he is ‘The Crestbearer of Courage’. . .and the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOORLD. . .TAI KAMIYA!!!!”

Tai waved toward the fans briefly before looking back at Bugs, until the bell rang and the match began, upon which, Tai and Bugs stepped toward each other and met in the center of the ring for a handshake!

“And the two friends and opponents here tonight showing good sportsmanship and respect for one another before coming to inevitable blows! Even if you somehow don’t like one of these two men, you can’t deny their class!”

Once they let go of each other’s hands, Tai and Bugs quickly engaged in a tie-up, and Tai emerged from it with Bugs in a wrist-lock, but Bugs quickly countered it into an Irish whip of his own, only for Tai to slide under Bugs on the bounceback. Tai went for a spinning wheel kick, but Bugs ducked under it and went for a clothesline. . .only for Tai to spin behind Bugs and lift him up for a back drop. . .but Bugs dropped out of it behind him and shoved him toward the ropes. Tai bounced back and Bugs bent over to take Tai up for a back body drop, but Tai surprised him and kicked Bugs in the chest! Tai then went for a knife-edged chop, but Bugs caught it and went for a right hand. . .but Tai was going for a left-handed punch, causing the two men to stop in their tracks, and the crowd to cheer for the stand-off!

“We knew this match was going to be a sight to see, and if this standoff is an indication, it’ll exceed our expectations!” Early said, as Tai and Bugs both chuckled at each other over their predicament, before getting back into another tie-up. Bugs put Tai in a front-face lock and went for a suplex, but Tai countered it with a snap suplex of his own! Tai stepped toward Bugs and pulled him up to his feet, but Bugs countered it with a knee to the gut, then Irish whipped him across the ring and took him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Bugs went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!! Bugs pulled Tai up by the hair and went for a knife-edged chop of his own, but Tai blocked it with his arm and took him down with a Jawbreaker! Tai went for a cover of his own 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!

“There’s barely been any offense so far in this match!” Shake observed. “Neither one of these men can get an opening; that’s how well these two know each other’s fighting styles!”

Tai pulled Bugs back up to his feet, and THIS time, managed to whack Bugs in the chest with a knife-edged chop, with the crowd chanting “WOOOO!” in unison with it! Tai continued to hit Bugs with chop after chop until he was driven into a corner. Tai backed up to the center of the ring and charged toward Bugs, rearing his arm back for a running elbow smash. . .but Bugs rolled out of the way, causing Tai to hit the top rope face first! Tai stumbled out of the corner. . .and right into a knife-edged chop from Bugs!!! The crowd cheered for Bugs in unison with each strike as Bugs continued whacking the champion in the chest with chop after chop until he was driven into a corner. Bugs quickly Irish whipped Tai across the ring into another corner turnbuckle, then charged toward him. . .and took him down with a corner clothesline! Bugs then pulled Tai back into the center of the ring and went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!!

Bugs pulled Tai up to his feet by the hair and nailed Tai with an uppercut that sent him reeling backward, but Tai caught the ropes before he could bounce off of them. Bugs quickly charged toward Tai for a clothesline. . .but Tai charged toward Bugs and took him down with a Schoolboy rollup pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!!! Tai and Bugs quickly shot up to their feet and engaged in another tie-up, with Tai putting Bugs in a headlock and quickly taking him down with a hip toss, then wrenched on his neck with the headlock still locked in firmly, until Tai pulled Bugs up one more time and took him down with another hip toss! Tai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!!!

“Both men are slowly but surely getting offensive maneuvers in!” Early said. “This World Heavyweight Championship bout is getting more and more physical!”

Tai pulled Bugs up to his feet and whacked him in the chest with three more knife-edged chops before spinning around to face his back and lock him in a sleeper hold. . .but Bugs elbowed Tai out of his grip and lifted him up for a fireman’s carry. . .but Tai dropped out of it and pulled Bugs up. . .and THIS time, was able to take him down with a Back Suplex! Tai went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!!! Tai knelt down and attempted to lock Bugs in a Figure-Four Leg Lock. . .but Bugs kicked Tai right in the face and knocked him down to the mat! Bugs then ran against the ropes behind him, and on the bounceback, knocked Tai back down with a running dropkick! Bugs went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!!

Bugs pulled Tai up to his feet, only for Tai to surprise Bugs with a chop, then take him down to the mat with an arm drag! But instead of going for a cover, Tai lunged toward Bugs and hit him in the face with a falling double axe handle! Tai went for another pin attempt 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!!! Tai grimaced a bit in dissatisfaction before pulling Bugs back up to his feet. . .and taking him back down with an Alabama Slam! Tai went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out! 

“And from out of nowhere, Tai’s like a house of fire on Bugs!” Early said. “You have to wonder what’s going through his mind right now!”

“When you’re in a match as even as this one, you’ve gotta go for any fighting strategy!” Shake answered. “Right now, Tai’s just going for a non-stop attack, overwhelm his opponent before he can have any chance to fight back!”

Tai then pulled Bugs back up to his feet, and draped his arm around Bugs’ shoulders in hopes of going for a Russian Leg Sweep. . .but Bugs elbowed his way out of Tai’s grip!!! Bugs then gripped onto Tai’s left arm. . .and took him down with an Armbreaker!!! Tai sold his arm in pain, cringing from all the soreness that carried over from the night before as Bugs stepped over to Tai’s legs. . .gripped onto and raised Tai’s right leg by the foot. . .

. . .AND RAMMED HIS KNEE AGAINST THE MAT WITH A KNEE SMASH!!! Tai wailed and screamed in agonizing pain as he rolled onto his back while Bugs knelt over him.

“You left me open for it, Doc. . .ain’t nothin’ personal.” Bugs insisted before going for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TAI KICKED OUT!!!! Bugs couldn’t believe it!!! He rolled off the cover and pulled Tai back up to his feet, then set him up for a hangman’s neckbreaker. . .

. . .but Tai spun out of it, gripped the Animation Icon into a waist-lock. . .

. . .and took him down with a German suplex!!!! Still grasping onto his waist, Tai pulled the Animation Icon up. . .and took him down with ANOTHER German suplex!!! Tai pulled Bugs up by the waist one more time. . .and took him down with a third and final German suplex!!! Instead of going for the cover, Tai rose up to his feet. . .

. . .and jumped up a bit, extending his arms out at his sides upon landing, and screamed, “I AM DESTINED!!!” at the top of his lungs to cheers from the crowd!!!

“What the—is this a new taunt from Tai?” Shake asked. “What’s he so happy about?”

“He’s signaling for the end, Shake! His method calling for a non-stop attack is paying off, and he’s about to go for---wait a minute. . .” Early said, as Tai continued giving his signature taunt, while turning to look at the ramp. . .

. . .to see Hotsuma standing on the stage?

“Well, there’s Hotsuma. . .but what the hell could he possibly want?” Early wondered. . .as Tai lifted Bugs up for the brainbuster, only for Bugs to grip onto Tai and stay on the mat! Bugs then quickly kicked Tai in the midsection. . .but saw Hotsuma slowly walking down the ramp. . .but tried to pay no mind to it as he lifted Tai up off the mat!

“If he wanted to give Bugs a beating, he’d be a little more eager to get to the ring. . .” Shake said, as Tai dropped out of the Bunny Bomb behind Bugs and took him down with a neckbreaker. . .

. . .as SWEET TOOTH and Solid Snake walked through the audience on the west side of the stands, with the XCW Hardcore title belt draped over Snake’s shoulder!!!

“Wait a minute, and now there’s Solid Snake and Sweet Tooth!!! We haven’t seen these two men in XCW for a long time!” Early said, as Tai and Bugs took notice of the two wrestlers in the stands. . .and started to trade right hands as if nothing was happening. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .while SUB-ZERO AND SCORPION WALKED THROUGH THE AUDIENCE ON THE EAST SECTION OF THE STANDS!!!

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE??? Scorpion and Sub-Zero are here, too????” Early gasped.

“You say that like they’re not part of the roster!!! The last time we saw Scorpion and Sub-Zero was after the March Majesty tournament!!! But what do they, Sweet Tooth, Solid Snake and Hotsuma want with Tai and Bugs???”

Hotsuma made it to the foot of the ramp just as Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Sweet Tooth and Solid Snake climbed over the barricades on their respective sides of the arena while Tai and Bugs stopped fighting, looked around at their adversaries outside the ring. . .

. . .as they slid into the ring and surrounded them!!! Bugs and Tai raised their fists, prepared for a fight---until Hotsuma nailed Bugs with a right hand that knocked him down, and Scorpion nailed the referee with an uppercut, knocking him out!!!

“My God. . .now Tai’s all alone. . .what the hell do these men want with Tai???” Early asked, as Tai stared all six men down. . .

. . .and charged toward Hotsuma, hitting him with furious right hands, only for Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Solid Snake and Sweet Tooth to swarm Tai!!!

“BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!! Tai went after Hotsuma, but his allies fought right back!!! It’s FIVE-ON-ONE!!!!” Early screamed, as all five men continued to punch, kick, claw and pull at Tai’s body as they pushed him into a corner!

“THIS IS HEINOUS!!! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!!! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP TAI!!!!” Shake yelled, as Hotsuma and Sub-Zero pushed Tai out of the corner and back down to the mat as they, Scorpion, Sweet Tooth and Solid Snake continued brawling and hammering away at Tai’s body AND legs. . .all Tai could do was reach his hand out toward the announcer’s table and scream “HELP ME!!!” at the top of his lungs.

“THEY’RE GOING AFTER THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION LIKE A PACK OF WOLVES ON A STEAK!!!” Early screamed. “IT IS ABSOLUTE CHAOS OUT HERE, SHAKE!!! UNRELENTING CHAOS!!!”

“They’ve caused so much destruction already, Early! So much, that I don’t need to suspect these guys of attacking the South Park Four and Rolf. . .I KNOW it was them!!!” Shake said, while Hotsuma said something to the rest of his clan, which Scorpion, Solid Snake, Sub-Zero and Sweet Tooth nodded in compliance with. . .and made their way out of the ring toward the ringside area!

“I absolutely agree with you, Shake! These five men are the culprits! But what do they want with the South Park Four??? What do they want with Rolf??? Or Tai--- Early started to say. . .

. . .BEFORE SCORPION KNOCKED HIM OUT OF HIS SEAT WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!!!

“EARLY!!! OH MY GOD, EARLY—“ Shake screamed, UNTIL SWEET TOOTH PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE, THEN CLOTHESLINED HIM OVER THE STAGE INTO THE CROWD!!!

Sweet Tooth stomped toward Scorpion’s side of the announcers table while Scorpion continued hammering Early with a flurry of unforgiving strikes. . .until he shoved Early’s prone body into Sweet Tooth’s direction. . .and Sweet Tooth immediately grabbed him by the throat, raised him high into the air. . .and drove him right through the announcer’s table, destroying it!!!

Meanwhile, Scorpion charged toward the timekeeper’s booth so hard, that it knocked the door off its hinges, on his way to plucking Plankton from his seat and tossing him onto the ringside floor before pulling the timekeeper off his seat. . .and planting him on the ringside floor with a standing shiranui!!! Elsewhere, Bugs Bunny had gotten up and strode toward Hotsuma and his clan, and raised a steel chair above his head toward Solid Snake. . .

. . .but Solid Snake strafed behind Bugs and wrapped his arms around his neck, locking him into a sleeper hold! Bugs gasped for air and tried to fight out of it, but to no avail, as Solid Snake kept the sleeper hold locked in until Bugs faded into unconsciousness. Scorpion then grabbed the ring bell and tossed it right toward the timekeeper’s prone body while Plankton ran for his life out of the arena. . .

. . .or, he would have. . .

. . .IF SUB-ZERO DIDN’T SQUASH HIM LIKE A BUG WITH HIS FOOT!!!! Meanwhile, Scorpion pulled onto the ring apron until it literally ripped out from under the mat, while Hotsuma and Solid Snake pulled the top and middle ropes out of their sockets on the right side of the ring, as Sweet Tooth tore the protective covering of the concrete floor clean off the ground. 

Too weak and sore to move, Tai could only watch in horror as Scorpion ripped the ring’s protective canvas clean off the mat and pulled it out of the ring. . .before turning around and knocking a cameraman off his feet with a throat thrust, then chucked him into the steel steps, causing the cameraman to collide into them with a sickening thud, and send the stairs flying across the ringside area! Back in the ring, Hotsuma, Solid Snake, Sub-Zero and Sweet Tooth finished ripping the apron and ropes off the ring, leaving it completely bare.

Tai planted the palms of his hands onto the unprotected mat and slowly struggled to push himself up to a standing position, and after a minute or so, staggered up to his feet. Dazed, he stumbled toward Hotsuma. . .but the Oboro Clan Leader and his comrades surrounded the Crestbearer of Courage, staring him down with menacing glares. 

Tai raised a fist high, and ran toward Hotsuma. . .

. . .WHO TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE AKUJIKI ON THE UNPROTECTED MAT!!!! Tai laid motionless in the ring until Hotsuma grabbed a fistful of his hair and threw him over to Solid Snake. . .who put him in a front face lock. . .

. . .leapt up. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A JUMPING PILEDRIVER!!! The crowd could only watch in horror and shock as the XCW World Heavyweight Champion was picked apart and beaten down before their very eyes!!!. . .but Solid Snake wasn’t through. . .he pulled Tai back up to a standing position, and threw him like a rag doll toward Sweet Tooth. . .who grabbed him by the throat. . .

. . .raised him HIGH above the mat. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!! Tai laid on the mat, completely knocked out cold as Hotsuma and his clan turned to face Sub-Zero. . .and nodded at him, signaling that it was his turn. Sub-Zero then strode toward a corner. . .climbed up to the top rope. . .

. . .AND LANDED A MOONSAULT SENTON ONTO TAI!!! Tai didn’t move a muscle as Sub-Zero stood up. . .pulled Tai up by the hair. . .and chucked him toward Scorpion. . .

. . .WHO LEAPT UP AND TOOK HIM BACK DOWN WITH THE FATALITY!!!! The crowd could only watch with their mouths agape as Tai laid motionless on the unprotected mat. . .until Hotsuma stepped toward him. . .pulled him up to force him to gaze into his visor. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM WITH A SECOND AKUJIKI!!!! The crowd gasped and cringed as Tai made impact with the unprotected mat, as Hotsuma, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Solid Snake and Sweet Tooth looked down at Tai. . .and nodded with satisfaction before stepping out of the ring over the ropes, and walking back up the ramp to the backstage area.

Tai was left alone in the ring, down and out, and could barely move a muscle, while Bugs Bunny laid prone and unconscious on the destroyed ringside floor as the crowd looked on at him in complete and utter silence. Some children were in the stands crying, female fans looked at the scene afraid, other fans just stood still, eyes still wide in shock. The scene was grim. . .

. . .until the fans cheered as two groups of EMTs and medics ran down the ramp with gurneys. One group of EMTs reached the foot of the ramp and slid the gurneys under the bottom rope before tending to Tai while the other group wheeled the gurney next to Bugs and checking his vital signs.

The medics put braces on Tai’s and Bugs’ neck, and TRIPLE-BRACED Tai’s injured knee before raising both men up and resting them onto their respective stretchers. Two medics slid Tai out of the ring and rested him on a gurney while other EMTs lifted Bugs’ stretcher up and rested it onto a gurney and pushed him up the ramp, with the other medics soon following with Tai, as the XCW fans looked on forlorn and fearful.

But as the medics wheeled both men onto the stage. . .Bugs and Tai. . .

. . .slowly raised their hands up, and gave weak high-fives to the crowd, who cheered upon seeing the two assure the fans they were alive. Battered and beaten, but alive. 

The medics and EMTs wheeled Bugs and Tai through the entranceway and to the backstage area as Monday Night Massacre went off the air.

Results

Casey Lynch defeated Nazz (advances in Number One Contendership Tournament for the XCW Women’s Championship)  
Tommy Vercetti defeated Luigi (qualifies for the Silver Lining Ladder Match)  
Yuna defeated Margaret (advances in Number One Contendership Tournament for the XCW Women’s Championship)  
Tai Kamiya (c) and Bugs Bunny fought to a No-Contest for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship

And like that. . .

*poof*

. . .IT’S DONE!!!! I hope it was worth the wait! 

Also, in case he missed it on the last chapter of Heatwave, the winner of the Heatwave prediction contest waaaaaas. . . . . .NINJA CATO!!! Congratulations, my friend! You WILL be getting a prize in the form of a PM very, very soon. XD

The New Era of XCW has indeed begun. . .but why did Hotsuma destroy Tai Kamiya, Bugs Bunny, the ring, the commentators, AND the entire arena? Why are Sub-Zero, Solid Snake, Sweet Tooth, and the Icon of UWE, Scorpion, on his side? Who will be the next to qualify for the Silver Lining Ladder match? Who will debut next in the number one contender’s tournament for the Women’s Championship?

Mask: And most importantly. . .who will get the last Capri Sun, me. . .or TOMMY???

Where’d you come from? .___. Anyway, all those questions and more will be answered in the next chapter of XCW! That will come soon. . .until then, READ AND REVIEW!!!


	42. XCW Massacre: July Week 2 Part 1

Hey fans! It's been too long since an update, so I'm just gonna get right to it. Without further ado, here's the NEW EPISODE of Monday Night Massacre! I only own my championships.

The lights went up in the arena. . .

. . .and Hotsuma stood alone in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand, glaring at the crowd, who erupted into massive boos upon seeing him. Through his visor, the Oboro Clan Leader scanned the fans in the stands with a look of disgust as he put the microphone up to his mouth.

"For those of you that don't know who I am…I am the one they call….Hotsuma." Hotsuma said, to more boos from the crowd. "I fought in the very first main event in XCW's history. . .in a Fatal Four-Way for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .but of course, NONE of you would remember that, not only because you are of below average intelligence…."

The crowd booed even louder upon hearing Hotsuma's words, until he began to speak again, "….but also because you were barely given the opportunity to see me fight ever since that fateful night. I've competed in the March Majesty tournament…..was a member of the Rookie Revolution…..went after the World Television Championship….but those opportunities to compete in this industry have been few and far in between…..

…..until the events of last week."

The crowd began to chant, "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" at Hotsuma until he continued to speak.

"Last week….was the beginning of a New Era in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .and it came. . .in the form of annihilation. It came. . .in the form of an onslaught. It came. . .in the form. . .of a NEW clan. . .a clan known as. . .

. . .The Knighthood. . .of Assassins.

With members such as Solid Snake. . .Sweet Tooth. . .the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster, Sub-Zero. . .the Icon of UWE, Scorpion. . .and myself. . .the former Oboro Clan Leader. . .we took center stage during the main event of XCW's New Era. . .and made it a night every single one of you will never forget. Not only have we cemented our place in this company's history. . .we've MADE SURE…that XCW management will NEVER DOUBT US EVER AGAIN!"

The crowd just continued to boo as Hotsuma stood confidently and angrily in the center of the ring.

"And this is the SAME XCW management…that has ORDERED all of us to come out here, and stand before you ALL….to explain ourselves. . .and ultimately apologize. . .for our actions. . .with that in mind. . .would EACH MEMBER of the Knighthood please. . .come out here…RIGHT NOW."

Hotsuma paused and scanned the arena as the crowd continued to boo at Hotsuma and chant, "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!"…

…only to draw back in their seats as Scorpion and Sub-Zero walked down the steps on the left side of the arena. The Lin-Kuei Grandmaster and the Icon of UWE made their way through the crowd, passing fans that ranged from shivering in fear to just ignoring their presence. As they reached the foot of the stairs and climbed over the barricade, Sweet Tooth and Solid Snake made their way through the crowd on the opposite side of the arena, with the fans flashing the same anxious and hateful expressions toward Snake and Sweet Tooth until they climbed over the barricade and met Hotsuma, Scorpion and Sub-Zero in the center of the ring.

Upon entering the ring and standing side-by-side, Hotsuma stepped next to Solid Snake and said in his microphone. "Solid Snake. . .apologize."

"Absolutely NOT." Solid Snake said into a microphone. "I would do it again….and again….and again."

Hotsuma stepped past Solid Snake and raised the microphone up to Sweet Tooth's mouth. "Sweet Tooth….apologize."

All Sweet Tooth did was turn to look at Hotsuma and say into the microphone, "….do I look like the apologetic type?"

Hotsuma stepped past Sweet Tooth, came up to Sub-Zero and said, "Sub-Zero…..are you willing to apologize?"

"I have…..no….remorse." Sub-Zero replied, to which Hotsuma stepped past the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster. . .and finally came to the Icon of UWE. . .Scorpion.

"And Hanzo Hisashi himself, please, Scorpion. . .apologize." Hotsuma said, putting the microphone up to Scorpion. . .who snatched it away from the Oboro Clan Leader, and began to speak.

"Apologize?" Scorpion shouted. "We have NO reason to apologize for what we did last week, because it was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. I knew it was necessary the minute Hotsuma came to me. . .explained his plan. . .and offered me to be one of his Knights. And for the past week, I'M the one that's gotten criticism after criticism. . .and asked question after question about our actions last Monday night. . .so let ME explain why I did it. . .and why Sweet Tooth, Solid Snake, and Sub-Zero followed suit.

You see, a lot of you people know me as the Icon of UWE. . .I've won a multitude of championships. . .accomplished many feats. . .and fought a number of classic matches. UWE is where my life lies, and there, I will win many more matches and accolades in the years to come. . .

. . .but here, in XCW. . .Space Ghost continued to gloss over me. Why? 'To protect exclusivity,' he said. 'We have nothing FOR you,' he said. 'We're working on it,' he said. . .I am a LEGEND in this business….so I don't demand attention…..I demand HONESTY AND RESPECT…I watched Tai and Garfield fight each other over…and OVER….AND OVER again….I watched Bugs Bunny fail to win the World title over AND OVER AND OVER again…..and I watched the South Park Four and D-Generation Ed fight each other for the tag team titles over and over AND OVER AGAIN until I came close to ordering Space Ghost to buy out my contract. . .

. . .until Hotsuma came to me last week. . .told his story. . .and explained his plan to attack. There was no way I could refuse. . .not only because he was going through the same disrespect I was. . .but also because. . .I saw a lot of myself in him. The same fierce tenacity. . .the same appetite for destruction. . .the same method of picking apart and PUNISHING our opponents. . .so the absolute LAST thing I will do is apologize. . .because Hotsuma. . .AND the Knights are the FUTURE of this company. . .and I will side with his word EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. . .whether you LIKE IT. . .OR NOT."

Scorpion handed the microphone back to Hotsuma as the crowd gave Scorpion a very loud, but mixed reaction.

"Very well said, Hanzo. . .very well said." Hotsuma said. "The key word in ALL of this…is RESPECT. These men behind me DESERVE IT. . .and someone like me, who is as METHODICAL and DESTRUCTIVE as they are DESERVES IT. And it's time that XCW management gives us what we deserve. . .starting by giving Scorpion and Sub-Zero a shot at the XCW Tag Team Championship. . .and MYSELF a shot. . .at the ultimate prize. . .the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. We left Tai Kamiya broken, bruised and battered in this ring once. . .and at Silver Lining. . .I will do it AGAIN. And if the anonymous chairman DOESN'T COME OUT RIGHT AWAY, AND MEET OUR DEMANDS. . .the events of last week. . .were just the beginning."

The crowd booed as Hotsuma, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Sweet Tooth and Solid Snake stood in the center of the ring glaring at the fans. . .

. . .until "Hit Single" by Sonny Sharrock played, to massive cheers from the crowd, as Space Ghost walked onto the stage with a microphone in hand.

"CUT MY MUSIC! Cut it!" Space Ghost yelled, as his theme song abruptly cut off, and stood at the top of the ramp, looking at The Knighthood of Assassins in disgust.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Space Ghost shouted. "How DARE you all even THINK to stand in that ring after what you've done, and after what you've said! I would expect nothing less of this from you, Hotsuma. . .but I never would have thought you would gain any allies, especially allies on Scorpion's level! I have a DAMN good reason for why you had nothing to do. . .and Scorpion already mentioned it.

As the General Manager of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, it's my job not only to produce a stellar product, and keep our ratings on the up and up. . .but also to make us stand out amongst the rest of our competition. And in order to do that. . .I had to form a roster. . .made up of wrestlers that have LONGEVITY. . .wrestlers that are UNIQUE. . .and wrestlers that have talents EXCLUSIVE to their respective company. We wanted to find a way that Solid Snake, Sweet Tooth, Sub-Zero…and YOU, Scorpion, could differentiate yourselves from your iconic personas in UWE, CWA and the like. . .but our creative team and I, for the life of us, struggled to come up with anything. . .hence, why I told you we had nothing for you. . .that we were working on it. . .and we wanted to protect exclusivity, because it's TRUE, Scorpion. We wanted to respect the status and legacy you, Sub-Zero, and Sweet Tooth have formed for yourselves in UWE. . .by keeping it in UWE."

Scorpion, Sub-Zero, and Sweet Tooth looked on with intrigue, but their eyes narrowed in skepticism.

". . .and as for you, Hotsuma. . .the reason why we've barely had anything for you creatively since the first fight for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, despite your talent. . .and uniqueness. . .

. . .is your outright HORRIBLE attitude, and that's putting it lightly!" Space Ghost bluntly announced, to cheers from the crowd, and a glare from the Oboro Clan Leader. "I've kept you as far away from the ring because all I've watched you do backstage is BROOD to yourself, push everyone around. . .make threats to our guests. . .I would've demoted you to Liberty City Wrestling if Bugs didn't want to fight you again at Heatwave!"

"I had every reason to act that way. . .because of the incompetence of you, AND your anonymous chairman." Hotsuma replied. "If you want me to change my ways. . .and call off your impending annihilation. . .you'll give me what's rightfully mine. . .a shot at Tai Kamiya. . .and his World Heavyweight Championship."

"Indeed. . .if you want to respect our legacies. . .you know what you have to do. . ." seethed Scorpion. "Give Sub-Zero and I a shot at the XCW Tag Team titles. . .and abide by Hotsuma's terms. . .or else this arena will BURN in HELLFIRE."

"I DON'T THINK SO!" Space Ghost responded, to more explosive cheers from the crowd. "Last week, you tried to END the careers of Tai and Bugs! You injured our ring announcer AND play-by-play commentator to the point where they requested to be released! You DESTROYED an arena, scaring hundreds of fans and children in attendance! You five effectively RUINED the beginning of XCW's new era by thinking you could fight your way into it. . .but not only CAN'T you fight into it. . .but you'll NEVER fight in an XCW ring AGAIN. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .because YOU'RE F-"

Suddenly. . .

. . ."This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played, to thunderous cheers from the fans in the stands, and Tai Kamiya stepped out onto the stage with his own microphone in hand! Incensed with fury, the XCW World Heavyweight Champion stood next to his boss and began to speak.

"Hold on for a second, Space Ghost!" Tai said, as he came to Space Ghost's side, bad leg and all, with the microphone up to his mouth. "Don't even THINK about doing that. . .because I have MORE than a few questions AND words of my own for them."

"Tai! Do you remember what they did to you?" Space Ghost asked, incredulous.

"Yes, Tai. . .do you REMEMBER what WE did to you and Bugs last week?" Hotsuma said. "Because if you don't accept my demand for a shot at YOUR World Heavyweight Championship. . .you WILL get a refresher course."

"Oh, I remember what you five did last week!" assured Tai. "You did more than destroy the ring, attack our ringside personnel, and try to end the careers of Bugs and I. . .you tried to destroy this company, and take it hostage! Well, if you think I'm gonna let you five tear anyone else limb from limb, or Space Ghost fire you without giving you the beating of a lifetime, and the punishment that you deserve, you've got another thing coming! So, Hotsuma. . .you want THIS? You want to try to take over this company with your group, and rule with an iron fist? You want a shot at my XCW World Heavyweight Championship at Silver Lining?...

…..YOU GOT IT!"

"Wait, WHAT?" Space Ghost shouted, under massive cheers to the crowd before Tai began to speak again!

"Now that I've resurrected my wrestling career, I'm keeping to the promise I made last week. . .I said that I would set a standard for all the World Champions in this industry, and I'm going to do it by stopping your rampage BEFORE it goes any further!"

"On ONE good leg?" Sweet Tooth chuckled, grabbing Hotsuma's microphone. "In the years I've known you, Kamiya. . .I've never doubted your naivety."

"And all this brings me to YOU, Needles. . ." Tai said, turning his attention to Sweet Tooth. "Of all the people to ambush me, YOU were the LAST person I would ever expect! Outside this company and UWE, you're close friends with me, Sora, Mimi, TK, Kari, and the rest of the DigiDestined. . .so why the HELL did you join Hotsuma's brotherhood?"

Sweet Tooth looked on at his former friend under his mask and raised the microphone up to his mouth. "Oh, Tai. . .if only you listened to us earlier. . .my plight echoes that of Scorpion." he answered. "I've carved a legacy for myself in UWE. . .therefore, I deserve the SAME RESPECT. . .and the SAME RIGHT to make another with Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. So in order to get what I deserve. . .I had to charge like a bull through everything in my path. . .and you were right in the crosshairs. So I'm sorry, Tai. . .but I'm NOT SORRY, because. . .it's STRICTLY BUSINESS."

"Oh no. . ." Tai deflected, shaking his head. ". . .as far as I'm concerned, it's MY business to give you all the punishment you five deserve. . .and I feel like starting with YOU! So what do you say, Kane? You and me. . .one-on-one. . .right here, later tonight?"

The crowd cheered as Sweet Tooth looked on at the XCW World Heavyweight Champion.

"I can't think of anything better. CONSIDER IT DONE…." Sweet Tooth said, to a confident smile from the XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .until Sweet Tooth began to speak again.

"…and consider…YOU…DONE."

Sweet Tooth dropped his microphone, and stared Tai down through his mask with Hotsuma, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, and Solid Snake looking on at the former allies until the show faded to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Master Shake sat at the commentator's table.

"Hello, assholes!" Shake greeted. . .in his own words. "Welcome back to Monday Night Massacre, and if you're just tuning in, I gotta tell you that since Hotsuma's ambush last week, this company is well on the highway to hell! Not only did Hotsuma, Scorpion and the rest of the Knights hold XCW hostage, make ASININE demands, and threaten to beat more people senseless, our World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya, kept Commissioner Space Ghost from doing his job, and FIRING the clan, but he ACCEPTED Hotsuma's demand for a World title shot at Silver Lining, and even went so far as to challenge his old buddy SWEET TOOTH to a match that will take place later on tonight, and I'm outright APPALLED that Commissioner Space Ghost let this brat go over his authority! He's only got ONE good leg! And Sweet Tooth'll break 'em BOTH tonight, and if not him, then one of the other guys in this clan will! They tore everything apart last week; Tai, Bugs, the timekeeper's booth, they broke every bone in Plankton's body, rendering him unable to work, and as you can see, my normal broadcast partner, Early Cuyler, isn't here thanks to that horrific rampage! As Space Ghost mentioned before the break, they beat him so senseless, he requested for his release from the company! The ONLY bright side to that rampage is that as the sole survivor, I'm in charge of commentary! That's right, 'The Drizzle' himself, Master Shake, is the sole play-by-play AND color commentator here in XCW! And I guarantee that I am the right man for the job. . ."

Master Shake's monologue was suddenly cut off when. . .

. . .the Aqua Unit Patrol Squad theme played, and Carl Brutanandilewski walked down the ramp!

"Now what the hell is Carl doing out here?" Shake wondered. "He's a backstage guy here, and my next-door neighbor in Queens, but he's never had any freakin' business in a wrestling ring before!"

Carl stepped into the ring and looked around at the fans before putting the microphone up to his mouth and beginning to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen. . .you may know me as a backstage interviewer, but lemme just say that after that big rampage that put Plankton outta action, somebody had to fill in. . .so allow to announce, pun intended. . .that as of this minute, I am XCW's brand f*ckin' new ring announcer!"

The crowd gave a mixed reaction to Carl's announcement.

"Well, ALL RIGHT! I can get behind that!" Shake said with excitement. "That broad Mimi can take your workload backstage. . .welcome to ringside-"

"But before I announce my first match, and the first match of the evening. . .my first OFFICIAL announcement. . .is of a brand new hire." Carl continued, to a 'Huh?' from Shake.

"Space Ghost's got this Knighthood or whatever on his hands, so at this time, please allow me to welcome. . .the NEW play-by-play commentator of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .the one and only. . .the New Voice of XCW. . .FRYLOCK!"

"WHAAAAT?" was all Shake could scream while the crowd burst into cheers. . .

. . .and the Hyper Ultra Movie Edition of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force theme played, upon which, Frylock floated onto the stage and down the ramp, toward the ringside area!

"OHHHHH NO!" Shake yelled. "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! HELL NO! F*CK NO! HELL TO THE F*CKIN' NO! I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN!"

Frylock took his place at the play-by-play seat and put his headphones on.

"Well, this is a welcome change of pace! Hello, everyone!" greeted Frylock.

"NO! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP AND GET OUT OF MY SEAT! THIS IS NOT FAIR!" Shake ranted.

"….and you haven't changed one bit, Shake." Frylock deadpanned. "Even though you came with this, I'm happy and proud to be the new play-by-play commentator here, and will give XCW the voice of reason that it needed!"

"The only voice it needs is MINE! I didn't even get a damn say in this! I would rather go outside, fire a rocket launcher into space and blow up the ozone layer, if it meant that I didn't have to work with YOU!" whined Shake.

"Grow up, Shake! XCW needed a play-by-play man, and I was available, and you BETTER get used to it, because the next match is about to get underway!" Frylock said before the show cut back to the ring, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following diva's contest is scheduled for one fall!"

"And this match is set to be a quarterfinal in the tournament that will determine the number one contender to the XCW Women's Championship!" Frylock said, as the lights flickered on and off. . .

. . .and "Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie played! Shenhua came onto the stage with a smirk on her face as the stage lights turned green.

"Introducing first. . .making her Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .from Roanapur, Thailand. . .she is 'The Taiwanese Assassin'. . .SHENHUA!" Carl announced, as Shenhua placed a hand on her hip and leaned forward, looking tauntingly at the ring and crowd before she stood up straight and made her way down the ramp.

"And here comes the one and only Shenhua!" Frylock said. "She's making her XCW debut here tonight not only as the Taiwanese Assassin, but she's also the first of XCW's six picks from the first-ever FWM Draft that took place months ago! She gained the majority of her wrestling experience from fighting in independently owned companies, like the animated divisions in New Japan Pro Wrestling and SHIMMER, where she won the SHIMMER Championship on two occasions! But tonight, she's finally making her debut in the big leagues, and Shake, how huge would it be for this deadly diva to gain a victory tonight, and become only one step closer to earning a shot at the XCW Women's Championship?"

Shenhua got on the apron, and gave a mocking glance to the crowd before leaping over the ropes and into the ring.

"It'd be pretty damn huge, all right!" Shake answered. "On top of that thing you said, this girl's from Roanapur, and it's a bigger cesspool of scum and villainy than the city of Harlem! She learned how to be destructive only from the deadliest of villains, and she'll show us all exactly what she's capable of tonight, right here in the ring! Come to think of it, I got a thing for Asian chicks. . .show me what you're capable of in bed, Shenmue!"

"Thank you for that irrelevant information, Shake. . ." Frylock deadpanned, before asking, "But who will cross the path of the Taiwanese Assassin fight here tonight?"

Shenhua stood in the middle of the ring, hand on her hip as she waited with a dangerous glint in her eye. . .

. . .until. . .

. . ."Paradise City" by Guns 'n Roses played, to THUNDEROUS cheers from the crowd!

"NO WAY!" Frylock exclaimed.

"WHAT THE HELL?" screamed Shake, as the crowd continued cheering. . .

. . .AS WASP STRUTTED ONTO THE STAGE!

"IT IS HER! IT'S WASP! WASP IS HERE!" Frylock yelled with excitement. "WASP HAS RETURNED TO FICTION WRESTLING!"

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Shake shouted, as Wasp waved to the fans on both sides of the stage with a single tear forming in one of her eyes while Shenhua looked on with her arms crossed and a raised eyebrow.

"And her opponent. . .making her Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .and her return to fiction wrestling. . .from Cresskill, New Jersey. . .she is 'The Original Avenger'. . .WAAAAAAAASP!"

Wasp walked down the ramp with a spring in her step, high-fiving fans lined up along the barricade along the way.

"This crowd is going absolutely nuts for the return of Wasp to fiction wrestling!" Frylock said. "The last time Wasp fought in a ring was at WCW Souled Out in 1998, where she suffered a severe neck injury at the hands of Granny Goodness. Everyone, even Wasp herself thought her career was over. But Tony Stark, Hank Pym and other expert doctors gave Ms. Van Dyne a few successful surgeries in 2005, and 9 years of training and rehab later, Wasp is primed and ready to make a comeback to fiction wrestling in CEW, and now in XCW!"

Wasp slid into the ring under the bottom rope and posed on a turnbuckle.

"Give me a freakin' break, Frylock!" Shake scoffed. "Who in their right mind would even think about returning to wrestling after suffering a devastating injury like the one Wasp suffered? Only an idiot, that's who! I saw Wasp's injury happen before my very eyes, and I watched it again, and again, and AGAIN, and NOBODY gets up from that! NOBODY! You, this audience and even the Original Avenger herself are gonna see Wasp crumble before your very eyes! Wasp is a sitting f*cking duck!"

"I wouldn't be so cynical about this, Shake!" Frylock said. "Wasp has been itching to begin her comeback for months now! She was originally selected by the Interdimensional Wrestling Federation in the first round of the FWM Draft, and was all set to start her comeback there. . .but then, out of the blue, IWF unfortunately folded. But her contract was put up for auction along with the rest of the IWF roster, and XCW bid enough money to earn her contract, and give her a spot on the XCW roster! And I have the utmost confidence that Wasp will make the most of this opportunity!"

Wasp stepped off the turnbuckle and stared down Shenhua, who glared back at her with narrowed eyes until the bell rang and the match began with Wasp and Shenhua engaging in a staredown in the center of the ring as the crowd chanted, "WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!"

Wasp and Shenhua quickly engaged in a tie-up, with Wasp coming out of it with a side headlock onto Shenhua, only for Shenhua to drive Wasp against the ropes, then quickly Irish whip Wasp across the ring! Wasp bounced back toward Shenhua, who bent over for a Back Body Drop. . .but Wasp leapt over the Taiwanese Assassin, then ran a little slower against the ropes behind her! But Shenhua turned around to face the Original Avenger. . .

. . .only for Wasp to take her down with an arm drag! Wasp waited for Shenhua to stand up. . .before taking her down with a clothesline! Shenhua reeled up to her feet, only for Wasp to take her down with a three-punch combination that culminated in another clothesline! Wasp quickly went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Shenhua kicked out! Wasp pulled Shenhua up to her feet and slugged her with an uppercut before lifting her up and taking her down with a Scoop Slam! Wasp went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Shenhua kicked out!

"So far, Wasp is looking good in her return match!" Frylock said, as Wasp grabbed Shenhua's arm and pulled her up to her feet. . .only for Shenhua to blind side Wasp with a swift right hand right between the eyes! Shenhua then slapped Wasp in the chest with a karate chop! Shenhua then followed it up with karate chop after karate chop until she backed Wasp up into a corner, then Irish whipped the Original Avenger across the ring toward another corner, with Wasp running RIGHT into it face first!

"What's that, Frylock?" Shake asked. "Wasp has got a little ring rust? You're damn right she does!"

Wasp then reeled backwards in a daze. . .before eating a spinning heel kick to the face of Wasp! Shenhua went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Wasp kicked out! Shenhua pulled Wasp up to her feet by the hair before lifting her up. . .and taking her back down with a wrist-clutch exploder suplex! Shenhua then rolled back up to a standing position. . .and landed a somersault leg drop onto Wasp! Shenhua went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Wasp kicked out! Shenhua then pulled Wasp up by the hair again and Irish whipped her toward the ropes. . .then sent her flying across the ring with flying headscissors! Shenhua stepped over toward Wasp and pulled her up high before resting her on her shoulders in a Torture Rack position. . .

. . .and dropped her with a Torture Rack neckbreaker! Shenhua went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Wasp kicked out!

"Wasp may be rusty, but she still has a lot of fight left in her!" Frylock said. "But unfortunately, so does Shenhua!"

Shenhua Irish whipped Wasp back into a nearby corner, and the Taiwanese Assassin charged toward the corner for a shoulder thrust. . .

. . .but with a burst of energy, Wasp caught her by surprise with a high knee to the face! Shenhua stumbled back toward the center of the ring in a daze until Wasp came up to her from behind. . .and locked her in a sleeper hold!

"And now the Original Avenger is back into this thing with one of the first original submission maneuvers: the sleeper hold!" declared Frylock. "Will it get her the victory?"

Wasp kept wrenching on the sleeper hold tightly while the referee asked Shenhua if she wanted to quit, but the Taiwanese Assassin shook her head no, and hit Wasp with several huge back elbows into her chest, eventually breaking free from her grasp! Wasp stepped backwards, clenching her chest in pain until Shenhua bounced against the ropes behind her. . .ran toward Wasp. . .

. . .and took her down with the Throwing Knives! Shenhua went for a cover, 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 WASP KICKED OUT! Shenhua couldn't believe it! Exasperated, Shenhua rolled off Wasp, and along with her opponent crawled toward opposite sides of the ring, trying to return to a standing position while the referee began the ten count!

"Both of these women are putting on a hell of a fight in their debut match here in XCW!" Frylock said. "Wasp beginning her comeback, and Shenhua wanting to make an impact! Who's gonna win this thing, and advance in the number one contenders tournament?"

Wasp and Shenhua eventually made it to their feet and stumbled to the center of the ring, meeting in another tie-up. Shenhua came out of it with Wasp in a headlock, punching her in the top of the head with swift right hands! The Taiwanese Assassin then leapt up for a standing shiranui. . .

. . .but Wasp gained a grip onto Shenhua's waist, then dropped her with an Atomic Drop! Shenhua sold her lower back in pain as she turned back around to face Wasp. . .

. . .only to get hit in the chest with a furious chop from Wasp! The Original Avenger then slapped Shenhua with chop after chop until she was driven up against a corner. Wasp then Irish whipped Shenhua into the opposing corner, then waited for her to step out of it. . .before charging toward her. . .

. . .and taking her down with a jumping crossbody block! Wasp went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SHENHUA KICKED OUT! Wasp couldn't believe it!

"Oh my God, how close was that?" Frylock exclaimed. "Wasp almost sealed the victory!"

Wasp punched the mat in frustration before standing up and stepping toward a corner. . .then climbed up to the top rope!

"Wait a minute. . .Wasp is looking to go high-risk!" Frylock said, astonished.

"Did Granny Goodness give her a head injury, too?" asked Shake. "One wrong move up there, and Wasp's neck is as good as broken again!"

To cheers from the crowd, Wasp waited for Shenhua to stagger up to her feet. . .

. . .

. . .sized her up. . .

. . .

. . .leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .

. . .RIGHT INTO A GAMENGIRI FROM SHENHUA!

"OOOOOOH!" Frylock cringed. "Wasp just got blindsided by that Gamengiri!"

"That HAD to have knocked a couple discs loose!" Shake called. "Shenhua's got this in the bag!"

Shenhua went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 WASP KICKED OUT! Shenhua shot up to her knees from the cover, eyebrows raised in shock!

"WHAT? GIVE ME A BREAK!" Shake shouted in disbelief.

"Wasp kicked out! Wasp still has signs of life!" Frylock cried, as Shenhua pulled Wasp up to her feet by the mask and slapped her in the chest with vicious chop after chop, then went for a high kick to Wasp's temple. . .but Wasp ducked before it could make impact, then spun around to face Shenhua's back. . .

. . .and took her down with a sit-out rear mat slam! Wasp went for a quick cover, 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 SHENHUA KICKED OUT!

"NOOOO! SHENHUA JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!" Frylock screamed, as Wasp sat up from the cover and briefly pondered her next move. . .before rising to her feet and pulling Shenhua up with her. Wasp then tied up Shenhua's arms. . .

. . .turned her around. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HER WITH THE WASP STING—NO!

Shenhua spun out of Wasp's grasp, and shoved her toward the ring ropes! Wasp bounced back toward Shenhua. . .who leapt onto the ropes behind her. . .

. . .quickly leapt forward. . .

. . .AND TOOK DOWN WASP WITH A DRAGONRANA!

"WOW! WHAT ATHLETIC ABILITY!" Frylock called. "As unforgiving as Shenhua can be, you can't doubt her athleticism, can you, Shake?"

All Shake could respond with was, ". . .I just came."

"…oooof course you did." Frylock rushed. . .WHILE SHENHUA WENT FOR A COVER! 1. . .

. . .

2\. . .

. . .

. . .2.99 WASP KICKED OUT! Shenhua groaned audibly as she got up from the cover, and taunted for Wasp to stand up!

"And now Shenhua has the upper hand! She looks like she's ready to put Wasp away!" Frylock foreboded, as Wasp slowly but eventually staggered up to her feet while Shenhua stared her down with incensed eyes. Once Wasp finally made it to a standing position, Shenhua charged toward Wasp. . .

. . .raised her right leg. . .

. . .went to grip her left arm. . .

. . .

. . .BUT WASP GRIPPED ONTO SHENHUA'S LEG! Wasp then quickly turned Shenhua over onto her chest. . .

. . .AND PUT HER IN THE BIO-ELECTRIC LOCK!

"WASP COUNTERED! WASP COUNTERED! THE BIO-ELECTRIC LOCK IS LOCKED IN!" Frylock screamed, as the crowd erupted into a frenzy as the submission maneuver was locked in the center of the ring!

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" scoffed Shake. "How was she able to do that?"

Wasp intensified the hold with all the strength she had left as Shenhua screamed in agonizing pain, and tried inching toward the ropes! The referee knelt down and asked the Taiwanese Assassin if she wanted to quit. All Shenhua could do was scream as she tried to worm closer to the bottom rope. . .

. . .extended her hand out. . .

. . .but had to tap out!

"Shenhua taps out! Wasp picks up the victory!" call Frylock, while Wasp let go of the hold as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .WASP!"

"And what an XCW debut, and fiction wrestling return for the Original Avenger!" Frylock said. "Shenhua wanted this victory as much as her, but in the end, Wasp was able to shake off some ring rust and gain the submission victory! All in all, it was an emphatic debut for Wasp, and one that has advanced her into the next round of this number one contender's tournament!"

The referee raised Wasp's arm in victory as the fans cheered and chanted, "YOU STILL GOT IT! YOU STILL GOT IT!"

"Oh, give me a break, Early! Shenhua let up at the last minute out of pity for the Original Avenger. Wasp got off lucky at the expense of a rookie mistake and nothing more! Whoever she faces next in this tournament will give her the rude awakening that she's in for!" Shake dismissed, while Wasp climbed onto a turnbuckle and posed toward the fans, who were still ecstatic.

"Well, while I can confirm that Wasp will be facing Casey Lynch in the semifinals of this tournament next week, I can't see your opinion as fact, Shake." Frylock retorted. "Shenhua fought with just as much will to win as the Original Avenger, and she has an equally bright future! But considering how hard Wasp's road to recovery was from her injury, she came into this match in the same mindset and drive she had in WCW. So Casey Lynch better be ready next week, because she's going up against a legend whose comeback is already off to a great start!"

Wasp continued celebrating her victory with the fans as the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Casey Lynch sat in a dressing room watching Wasp celebrate on an HDTV.

"Oh, I'll be ready. . ." Casey said to herself, absent-mindedly strumming an acoustic guitar. . .

. . .until The Mask's head popped out of the guitar's sound hole singing, "AAAAAND THIS BIIIIRD YOU CANNOT CHAAANGE!"

Casey screamed bloody murder as she raised the guitar. . .

. . .and SMASHED IT against the concrete floor into a million pieces!

"OWWWW…." Cringed The Mask, before looking down at his body, which was contorted in a bizarre and impossible-looking position. "Ain't it amazing what many months of acupuncture and yoga can do for your body, Tommy?"

"Get the hell OFF of me, Stanley…." Tommy muffled, crushed under The Mask.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Casey seethed, as The Mask shot back up to a standing position.

"Oh, don't mind me, Casey, I'm just in a good mood. . .the beginning of my comeback is mere paragraphs away, and my WCW buddy just began hers! Just promise me one thing. . ." The Mask said.

Casey raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms with an exasperated sigh. "I promise, I won't forget to DVR The Young and the Restless."

"NO! NOT THAT—well, yeah, for later so I can watch it when Conker comes over—but MOST IMPORTANTLY. . .if you win next week, please don't nail Wasp in the face with your guitar. She only just got here! YOU'LL RUIN THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM! PLEASE! PLEEEEASE!" screamed The Mask, literally millimeters away from Casey's face.

"Geez, what's your problem, Stanley? Are you in love with her, or something?" Casey asked, to a blank stare from The Mask.

One awkward pause later, The Mask speaks up. "I think I hear the ring announcer calling me. TOODLES!" he said, before zipping out of the room, leaving Tommy and Casey with annoyed grimaces on their faces.

"At least it's never a dull moment. . ." Casey said, before turning to face Tommy. "So, how's Claude doing?"

". . .what do you mean?" Tommy asked.

"Well, he hasn't been around since Heatwave—" Casey began, only for Tommy to interrupt her.

"Why do you care? Am I his keeper all of a sudden?" snapped the Harwood Butcher.

Casey stepped back, astonished. "What? No! What are you talking about—"

Tommy just ignored his kinda-sorta girlfriend and stepped out of the room, shaking his head, leaving an angry yet worried Casey behind.

"Tommy! Come back!" she shouted, before The Mask zipped back into the room.

"Casey, I forgot my jock strap with the yellow smiley face on it—" The Mask asked aloud, until he saw Casey. "-what happened?"

". . .Tommy's ALWAYS had a temper since I signed to developmental, but he's never stormed out on me. . .what's wrong with him?"

". . .I have absolutely no idea. . ." The Mask said. ". . .a moment like this could use a slow fade to black. . ."

The Mask and Casey looked toward the doorway with concern as the show slowly faded to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Mimi Tachikawa stood in a hallway next to D-Generation Ed with a microphone in hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome the team of Ed, Edd 'n Eddy; D-Generation Ed!"

Ed gave the DX crotch chop toward the camera and yelled, "SUCK IT!". . .to a nudge in the side from Eddy.

"Ed. . .not NOW, you idiot. . ." Eddy said under his breath, before Mimi turned around to face the less-than-intelligent trio.

"Eddy. . ." Mimi said, ". . .last week, you issued a challenge to Arthur Read for his XCW World Television Championship, and he accepted, but the Wild Dudes will be in his corner. From the looks of it, Ed and Double D will accompany you to the ring tonight, but considering Mordecai and Rigby haven't made their in-ring debut in XCW yet, do you feel ready for the current NXT Tag Team Champions?"

"Let me give you the skinny, Mimi. . ." Eddy said, flicking up his sunglasses. ". . .those two clowns don't know the first thing about fighting in the big leagues. They may have been tag team champions in NXT and our developmental territory, LCW, but me and the boys? We've been EVERYWHERE, and won titles there, too. These guys may think they're all that and great bodyguards to boot, but until they talk OUR talk, and walk OUR walk, they'll be easier to go through than Lumpy and a box of Chunky Puffs! And once we go through them. . .Arthur's gonna learn a life lesson of his own that he's been asking for. . .you earn your place. . .after you KNOW your place."

"Eddy, are you saying what I think you're saying and guaranteeing a title win for yourself and your stable tonight?" asked Mimi.

"Well, I'm not gonna go that far, babe, but I will tell you AND Arthur this. . ." responded Eddy, before looking into the camera. ". . .I'm willing to sweeten the pot a little in our match tonight. . .so let's make it double or nothin'. The winner tonight not only goes home with the XCW World Television Championship. . .but with a spot in the Silver Lining ladder match!"

Double D stepped forward, eyes wide in fear as he tapped Eddy on the shoulder. "Eddy! Can you even COMPREHEND what you're saying?"

"Come on, Sockhead! Why not go for it all? These guys are nothing but posers and we're gonna prove it to everyone! Might as well do it and get more than just a title out of it. . .but a shot to be the first man in XCW history to win the Silver Lining contract! And if Arthur and the Wild Dudes don't like that. . .we got TWO WORDS FOR 'EM. . ."

"MASHED POTATOES!" Ed said while doing the DX crotch chop. . .to a facepalm from Eddy.

". . .lovable oaf. . ." Double D said while he and the Eds walked off-screen until the show transitioned back to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest. . .is a Silver Lining qualifying match scheduled for one fall!"

"Wabbit" by Misshin played as Daffy Duck ran onto the stage to a mixed reaction.

"Introducing first. . .from New York City, New York. . .DAFFY DUCK!"

"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, Eddy is certainly confident in himself and his friends as they gear up for the World Television championship match later on tonight. . .but right now, Daffy Duck is looking to enter himself into the Silver Lining ladder match, and all it'll take is a victory in this qualifier!" Frylock said while the crowd gave Daffy a mix of cheers and boos while he strode down the ramp and entered the ring.

"You got that right! This man is a UCA and WWE Hall of Famer, and has as many accolades and accomplishments to his name as his rival, Bugs Bunny! He's one of the greatest bad guys to ever fight in this industry, and right now, he's due for a stroke of good luck." Shake said as Daffy raised a fist above his head while jumping around the ring, pumping himself up. . .

. . .

. . .until. . .

. . .

. . ."IT'S PARTY TIME!"

. . .the special mix of "Cuban Pete" by Jim Carrey played!

"Aw great. . .THIS idiot again. . ." facepalmed Shake, as an extremely long limousine made its way down the ramp, stopping right at the foot of it. The sunroof of the limo eventually opens. . .

. . .and The Mask leapt out of it, landing on the roof of the limousine to massive cheers from the crowd!

"And his opponent. . .making his Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .from Edge City. . .Stanley Ipkiss. . .THE MAAAAAAASK!"

The Mask leapt off the limousine, doing a 450 flip over the ropes, and landing right in front of Daffy in an assemblé ballerina position.

"Who the hell does this guy think he is?" Shake dismissed. "He thought he was SO funny when he pulled Tommy's underwear over his face and knocked him out cold! This buffoon, Stanley Ipkiss, didn't get the picture that being a terrible comedian doesn't get you anywhere in this industry when he was in WCW, and he's about to get that same reality check right here tonight!"

The Mask pulled a t-shirt cannon from behind his back, then climbed up a top rope, upon which he shot several glazed hams into the audience, screaming, "AND YOU GET A GLAZED HAM! AND YOU GET A GLAZED HAM! AND YOU GET A GLAZED HAM!"

"I wouldn't dismiss The Mask right away, Shake!" insisted Frylock. "His background has been primarily in tag team competition; having won the WCW Tag Team titles with Ace Ventura on five occasions! But with a comeback comes a new challenge. This is Stanley's first match in almost 17 years, give or take, and his first SINGLES match in who knows how long. . .but his presence provided a breath of fresh air to XCW in its new era, and as his unpredictable personality proved last week, he knows how to put on a show. . .so I have the confidence that he will live by the promise that he made last week, and qualify for the Silver Lining ladder match!"

The Mask stepped off the turnbuckle. . .

. . .and was immediately taken down by a clothesline from Daffy! Daffy pulled The Mask up to his feet and shoved him in the corner, hammering away with right hands as the bell rang and the match began!

"But Daffy Duck's not looking to waste any time!" Frylock said. "He's going to TOWN on Stanley Ipkiss!"

"And you thought The Mask could put on a show!" quipped Shake. "Looks to me like he's getting his ass HANDED to 'im!"

Daffy continued to bludgeon The Mask with right hands. . .even when he tried to scream, "Time Out". . .until he was able to find an opening and kick Daffy in the midsection! The Mask quickly slapped Daffy back with a chop to the chest, to the crowd chanting "WOOO!" in unison with it. The Mask continued hitting Daffy with chop after chop, even screaming "WOOO!" in unison to the last one himself. . .before Irish whipping Daffy across the ring into a corner, only for Daffy to bounce out of it. . .right into a snap suplex from The Mask! The Mask went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out! The Mask quickly pulled Daffy up to his feet and nailed him in the chest with an elbow before putting him in a headlock. . .giving him a noogie. . .then taking him back down with a Russian Leg Sweep! The Mask went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Daffy kicked out!

The Mask pulled Daffy up again by the back of his head, only for Daffy to elbow The Mask in the face, then slug him right between the eyes with a right hand before taking him down with a jawbreaker! Before he even THOUGHT about going for the cover, Daffy ran against the ropes and nailed The Mask in the face with a swift kick before landing on him with a falling elbow! Daffy went for a quick cover 1. . .2. . .The Mask kicked out! Daffy knelt down and put The Mask in an abdominal stretch before leaping up and dropkicking him in the back of the head before landing on him again with a leg drop! Daffy went for another cover 1. . .2. . .The Mask kicked out!

"These two men have gotten their fair share of licks on each other. . .but right now, Daffy Duck has the upper hand!" Frylock said as Daffy tried locking an armbar on Stanley Ipkiss. . .but Stanley slugged Daffy in the face with his free hand, then flipped back up to his feet and drove Daffy in the corner. The Mask backed up for a shoulder thrust, then ran toward Daffy. . .

. . .who surprised him with a jumping kick to the face! The Mask stumbled around the ring in a daze until Daffy drug him toward the corner and pulled him up to the top rope. . .

"And now he's keeping a STRANGLEHOLD on The Mask in this match once he goes high-risk!" Shake added as Daffy wrapped his right arm around The Mask's back for a super back drop. . .

. . .but The Mask grabbed Daffy by the left arm. . .

. . .and punched Daffy in the face with it!

"STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!" The Mask chanted, as he kept ramming Daffy's fist into his own face over and over and over. . .

. . .until Daffy let go of The Mask and fell face-up onto the mat!

"Are you KIDDING me?" Shake shouted in disgust. "How does The Mask get away with something like THAT?"

"That's his showman-like strategy paying off in spades, Shake! And now THE MASK is looking to go high-risk!" Frylock foreboded as The Mask splayed his arms high at his sides before looking down at Daffy. . .

. . .shouting, "YODEL-AY-EEE-OOOOO!". . .

. . .AND LANDING THE HI-DE-HO (Senton Bomb) ONTO DAFFY!

"THE HI-DE-HO CONNECTS!" Frylock called, as The Mask crawled on top of Daffy for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .DAFFY SURPRISED THE MASK WITH A THUMB TO THE EYE! The Mask shouted, "BULLSHIIIINKLYWINKLES!" as he punched the mat.

"That's not even a word and I can see his frustration!" Frylock said. "But Daffy's been known to resort to drastic measures when in this position! And sure enough, he's found a way back into this thing right now!"

Daffy rose up to his feet, selling his abdomen along the way until he stepped toward The Mask and put him in a waist-lock. . .then took him down with a back suplex! Daffy then grabbed The Mask by the legs. . .

. . .AND PUT HIM IN A FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK! The Mask writhed and screamed in pain while the referee knelt down in front of him and asked if he wanted to quit. All The Mask could scream was. . ."I CAN'T FEEL MY LEEEEEGS!"

"Dramatics won't get you outta the figure four, Stanley!" Shake quipped. "Put up a fight or shut up!"

The Mask kept his shoulders off the mat, wincing in agonizing pain as he struggled to inch toward the ropes! The Mask wormed ever closer. . .

. . .rolled onto his left side. . .

. . .then onto his right side. . .

. . .then back to the left. . .

. . .AND WAS ABLE TO TURN DAFFY OVER AND REVERSE THE FIGURE FOUR!

"HE'S DOING JUST THAT, SHAKE! NOW DAFFY'S FEELING THE PAIN OF HIS OWN FIGURE FOUR!" yelled Frylock, as Daffy screamed in agonizing pain and squirmed toward the ropes while The Mask. . .was. . .reading War and Peace?

"SHHHHH! I'm at the good part!" The Mask said directly into the camera. . .before Daffy finally draped his arm over the bottom rope, forcing The Mask to break the hold! Both men were down on the mat slowly pulling themselves up to their feet while the referee began the ten count!

"Both of these wily veterans have put each other through hell here tonight. . .who's gonna win this thing and join Claude, Tommy, Kenny, Mario, and Spongebob in the Silver Lining ladder match?" Frylock called, as The Mask pulled himself up with the ropes on the left side of the ring while Daffy pulled himself up with the ropes on the opposite side.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were listing off the cast of a sitcom. . ." said Shake, as Daffy and The Mask finally made it to a standing position and stepped toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring as Daffy nailed The Mask with a right hand, with the crowd chanting "BOO!" in unison with it. The Mask reeled for a bit, but regained his composure and fired back with a right hand of his own, with the crowd chanting "YAY!" in unison with it! Daffy and The Mask kept firing back with punch after punch until The Mask pointed toward the stage and said, "LOOK! A WOLF!" Daffy quickly turned around. . .

. . .only to get punched in the back of the head! Daffy slowly turned around, selling his head in pain. . .

. . .AND GOT TAKEN DOWN WITH A SHIN BREAKER! The Mask went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 DAFFY KICKED OUT! The Mask couldn't believe it!

"This calls for some. . .SCHTRATEEGERY!" The Mask, looking into the camera, before pulling Daffy up to his feet. . .

. . .turning him around so he could face his back. . .

. . .reached for his waistband. . .

. . .but Daffy caught him off-guard with an elbow to the face! The Mask reeled backward until Daffy charged toward him and slugged him with an uppercut that knocked him against the ropes. Daffy ran toward him again, going for a clothesline, but The Mask leapt forward and hit him in the face with a high knee! As Daffy stumbled across the ring, The Mask put him in a waist-lock. . .

. . .but Daffy spun around out of it and took The Mask down with a reverse DDT! Daffy went for a cover, using the ropes for leverage! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 THE MASK KICKED OUT!

"Daffy's getting desperate, but even cheating didn't get him the victory there!" Frylock said, as Daffy pulled The Mask up to a standing position and Irish whipped him across the ring, and on the bounceback, charged toward him and leapt up for the Duck Splash (Diving Splash). . .

. . .but The Mask slid under it, causing Daffy to land on the mat face and chest-first! The Mask then staggered up to his feet and stepped toward Daffy. . .

. . .grabbed onto his legs and looked down at him as he seethed, "It's about time for the. . .SPIN CYCLE!"

. . .AND BEGAN SWINGING DAFFY AROUND WITH THE GREEN CYCLONE (Big Swing)! The crowd counted aloud as The Mask spun Daffy off the mat, counting aloud to himself, saying, "One. . .MISSISSIPPI! Two. . .MISSISSIPPI! THREE. . .MISSISSIPPI!"

"The Mask was able to evade the Duck Splash, and now is giving Daffy a ride he'll never forget. . .for all the wrong reasons. . ." Frylock foreboded.

"What's he trying to do? Get him SICK?" scoffed Shake, before The Mask finally made it to TEN. . .Mississippi. . .before throwing Daffy into a corner! Daffy just laid in the bottom of the turnbuckle, completely and utterly dazed. . .

. . .until The Mask pulled him into the center of the ring and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 DAFFY KICKED OUT!

"NOOOO!" Frylock shouted. "With what little strength he had left, Daffy was able to kick out!"

The Mask quickly stood up. . .

. . .and cartoonishly flexed every muscle in his body, eventually ripping off his entire suit!

"Good GOD. . .and I thought WOLVERINE was huge. . ." Shake cringed.

"Aaaand with THAT impossible feat of strength, I think The Mask is signaling that the end is near!" Frylock declared, as The Mask pulled Daffy up to a standing position. . .drug him toward a corner. . .

. . .but Daffy was able to latch onto the back of The Mask's head and ram it into the top turnbuckle! The Mask reeled backward as his muscles receded. . .

. . .then Daffy stepped toward him. . .lifted him off his feet. . .

. . .and slammed him onto the mat with the Duck Amuck (Standing Spinebuster)!

"Daffy played possum! And sure enough, it paid off with the Duck Amuck!" Shake called, as Daffy fell on top of The Mask for a cover! The referee made the count 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 THE MASK KICKED OUT! Daffy screamed with frustration as he repeatedly punched the mat. . .

. . .then slowly but surely rose to his feet, practically BEGGING for The Mask to reach his feet!

"And Daffy Duck now is in the best position he's been in all night; he could win this thing and earn a spot in the Silver Lining ladder match with his next move!" Frylock said, as Daffy bent down in a three-point football stance while The Mask staggered up to his feet. Daffy quickly charged toward The Mask. . .

. . .tied up his arms. . .

. . .turned him around for the Killswitch. . .

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH IT—NO!

The Mask moved forward, pushing Daffy toward the ropes! As Daffy hit the ropes, The Mask shoved Daffy backward toward the ropes on the other side of the ring, breaking the hold! Daffy bounced back, upon which The Mask hit him with a knee to the gut in the center of the ring. . .

. . .then pulled his underwear over his head in an EPIC wedgie. . .

. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE SMOKIN' END!

"THE SMOKIN' END HAS COME! GOOD NIGHT DAFFY!" Frylock called, as The Mask hooked the leg for the cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And The Mask is going to Silver Lining!" Frylock called, as the crowd erupted into cheers while the bell rang, and Stanley yelled, "SSSMOKIN'!"

"The winner of this match. . .STANLEY IPKISS. . .THE MAAAAAASK!"

"Well, it didn't come easily, but The Mask returned to fiction wrestling with an emphatic victory tonight! Eccentricities aside, The Mask remained true to his promise, debuted in XCW with a victory, and now he finds himself in the Silver Lining ladder match, and with the opportunity to become the first man to win the Silver Lining contract!" Frylock said, while The Mask rose up to a standing position and the referee raised his arm in victory while the crowd began to chant, "YOU STILL GOT IT! YOU STILL GOT IT!"

"What you call eccentric, I call annoying, Frylock!" Shake said. "The Mask may still have a full tank of gas, but Daffy Duck has won multiple world titles for a reason. He knows that the ring is a place to fight, not crack jokes! That's something that this buffoon needs to learn sooner than later, or else he'll be falling from grace while falling off a ladder!"

The Mask climbed up a corner turnbuckle and pulled out a Slammy award, and shouted toward them, "YOU LOVE ME! YOU REALLY LOVE ME!"

"Well, Shake, if The Mask's performance in his return match didn't impress you, I don't know what will, because both of these fiction wrestling veterans came to fight, and they delivered on all fronts, but in the end, The Mask was able to use both his athleticism and showmanship to gain the victory! And I can't wait to see this man fight again!" Frylock said, as the show transitioned to the commentator's table, where he and Shake sat.

"Well, I can't wait for someone to pry that damn mask off his face and shut him up once and for goddamn all!" Shake snapped.

"I could say the same about you, Shake. . ." quipped Frylock. . .before suddenly changing to a chipper tone. "But on another note, ladies and gentlemen, if you're just joining us, earlier tonight, Hotsuma, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Sweet Tooth and the XCW Hardcore Champion, Solid Snake, revealed themselves as the Knighthood of Assassins, and explained why they assaulted Tai, Bugs Bunny, the ring, and literally ALL of the ringside personnel. . .as well as the South Park Four, and the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, who until last Monday night, had won the XCW Hardcore title at Heatwave! But we are joined live via satellite from a hospital in Peach Creek, where Rolf is staying right now, Rolf, if I may ask. . .has your condition improved since the events of last week?"

The show transitioned to a shot of Rolf lying in a hospital bed.

"Rolf has made a full recovery, strange talking box of potato strips!" Rolf answered. "Everything they bruised and broken has been repaired and taken care of thanks to my great nana's holistic remedies! Rolf is indeed alive. . .yet not well. . .Rolf's body shakes with anger upon sight of that cursed Knighthood. . ."

". . .uhhhh. . .we can understand why, Rolf. . ." sweatdropped Frylock, ". . .because last week, all five men blindsided you before our cameras could get to them, meaning you lost the XCW Hardcore Championship to Solid Snake, and nobody could see it. How did that make you feel, considering you had won the title just hours beforehand?"

Rolf looked straight into the camera, an oddly serious look overcoming his face.

"It awakens Rolf at the dead of night just thinking about it," he responded. "Rolf fought tooth, nail and back hair for that piece of duct-taped and blood-stained jewelry. . .Rolf grinded down a stairwell, leapt off a truck, pulled a coat-wearing oaf all over the XCW Arena. . .and thanks to the cursed 24/7 rule. . .it all disappeared like Rolf's chickens! NO TITLE FOR ROLF! The rule should be ABOLISHED, I SAY! It made Rolf's hard work all for nothing! But that's for another night, yes?"

". . .where is this kid from, again?" Shake asked his broadcast partner, who just ignored him.

"Yes, it is a talk for another night, it's probably one of the many things on Space Ghost's mind right now. . .but we'll get you out of here on this, Rolf. . .how soon will we see you back on Monday Night Massacre, and what can we expect out of you upon your return?"

A smile formed on Rolf's face.

"You will get nothing but the absolute best from the Son of a Shepherd, because Rolf will return with his eyes on the prize, no? YES!" Rolf answered. "And MORE than just that, fellow commentators. . .the Son of a Shepherd will return with a VENGEANCE for a duel against Solid Snake after his act of brutal thievery. . .he will learn that stealing from the likes of Rolf is an act of dishonor. . .and when you dishonor the Son of a Shepherd. . .you will suffer a fate WORSE THAN THE FATE YOU BESTOWED UPON HIM! So you can expect that Solid Snake and his Knighthood. . .will receive the Hat of Discipline. . .AND THEN SOME. . .and once Rolf becomes the XCW Hardcore Champion yet again. . .then, and ONLY THEN. . .all will be forgiven."

"Thank you for joining us, Rolf!" Frylock said, while Rolf looked confidently into the camera until the show faded to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Tommy Vercetti was stomping down a hallway grumbling to himself in between swigs from a flask until Space Ghost came up to him.

"Greetings, uh. . .Tommy. . ." Space Ghost said in a friendly yet apprehensive tone. ". . .do you have a minute?"

Tommy sighed. "Whatever. . ."

"Good. . .well, listen. . ." Space Ghost said, ". . .I wanted to commend you for going out there last week and putting up a hell of a fight under your circumstances. I know you'll make the Silver Lining ladder match a fight to remember!"

Tommy took a LONG swig of his flask. "Whatever…"

Space Ghost's smile fell into a look of concern. "Also. . .as the Commissioner of XCW, when a member of the roster gets angry at me to my face. . .I get annoyed really easily. . .it's something I still have to work on, I have to admit. . .and so, I wanted to apologize to you if I said—"

"Oh, will you CAN it already, Space Ghost?" someone said, interrupting the Commissioner, who turned around to see it was. . .

". . .Spongebob. . ." Space Ghost said, to boos from the crowd. "Can you meet me in my office later? I'm in the middle of something—"

"Don't give me that!" Spongebob said. "You want to talk about apologies? The only person you owe an apology to is ME. I make my return to XCW after a street fight against. . .THAT guy. . ." he said, pointing at Tommy, ". . .and I'm not even on the card this week? I'm the Extreme Sponge! The TRUE Animation Icon! I want to remind all the people in those stands that only a wrestler with MY showmanship, MY expertise, and MY legend will claim that briefcase as his, and if anybody's going to win the Silver Lining ladder match in two weeks, it's gonna be ME."

Space Ghost sighed. "YOU KNOW WHAT, Spongebob—" he said, raising his voice, before stopping in his tracks and calming down. ". . .all right. You've got a match. . .not tonight. . .but next week. And your opponent. . .will be the RETURNING. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .Claude Speed."

The crowd erupted into cheers upon hearing Space Ghost make the announcement. "So be ready. . .because HE will."

Space Ghost kept giving Spongebob a look of confidence until the 'Extreme Sponge' left the scene. Space Ghost then turned around. . ."Anyway, where were we, Tommy—"

. . .and seeing that Tommy had disappeared from the scene.

"-Tommy? Aw, great. . ."

Space Ghost glanced around the hallway looking for any sign of Tommy, but to no avail until the show transitioned back to the arena.

"Well, how about THAT for a return match, Shake? Next week on Monday Night Massacre, Claude Speed returns to XCW to take on The Extreme Sponge, Spongebob Squarepants!" Frylock said.

"A two-bit thug versus an overconfident sponge. . .I can hardly wait." deadpanned Shake, before the show cut to the ring, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .it is a Silver Lining qualifying match. . .and it is for. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Television Championship!"

"The Game" by Motorhead played as the arena became engulfed in green light, and Eddy walked onto the stage holding a water bottle, with Ed and Double D standing behind him.

"Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .being accompanied to the ring by Ed and Double D. . .from Peach Creek. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . .EDDY!"

Eddy poured some of the water over his head before stepping down the ramp to an ovation from the crowd. Ed and Edd stood at the foot of the ramp while Eddy took a swig of water and walked to the front side of the ring, and climbed onto the ring apron.

"Well, earlier tonight, Eddy all but guaranteed a victory here in this match. . .and didn't even want to stop with the XCW World Television title!" Frylock said. "He outright challenged Arthur to up the stakes in this match, and sure enough, during the commercial break, Arthur agreed to the new terms of the match! D-Ed appears to be ready to fight, and their confidence could very well earn them, and their leader the World Television Championship!"

Eddy glared at the crowd from the ring apron before looking up at the lights and spitting a huge mist of water up into the air! Eddy then looked down and let out an intense yell of excitement before spitting a smaller mist out, and entering the ring.

"Oh, give me a break, Frylock!" dismissed Shake. "These three idiots left their brains at home! They haven't been active since Heatwave, and even then, neither one of them has won a match since Eddy's first match in XCW. If you ask me, this team of dumb degenerates needs to hand over the reigns to a team LIKE the Wild Dudes, because they are the FUTURE of this business. . .just as stars like Arthur are the FUTURE of this company!"

The crowd's cheers for Eddy turned into MASSIVE boos when. . .

. . .The 'Dashing Cody Rhodes' theme played! Arthur stepped onto the stage wearing a yellow hooded vest, and the XCW World Television Championship belt around his waist with Mordecai and Rigby walking onto the stage behind him.

"And his opponent. . .representing the Rookie Revolution. . .being accompanied to the ring by The Wild Dudes, Mordecai and Rigby. . .from Elwood City. . .he is the 'First PBS Kid'. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .ARTHUR READ!"

Arthur pushed the hood behind his head, revealing a confident grin on his face to more boos from the crowd before striding down the ramp with Mordecai and Rigby behind him.

"I wouldn't put the First PBS Kid on such a high pedestal, Shake!" Frylock said. "Not only is this Arthur's first title defense, but he hasn't exactly been the kind of kid to practice what he preaches on his way to winning the title. This match here tonight will give us a glimpse into just the kind of champion Arthur will be, as well as the kind of tag team that the Wild Dudes will be!"

Arthur entered the ring above the second rope and came to the center of the ring, raising an arm high above his head, showing the still-booing crowd his Rookie Revolution wristband.

"And these guys won't disappoint, Early!" Shake said. "Arthur has said time and time again that as champion, he'll teach good morals and important life lessons, and the lesson he'll teach Eddy tonight is to never count your chickens before they hatch. . .because they could DIE on ya. . .just like Eddy's chances!"

". . .how morbid of you, Shake. . ." deadpanned Frylock, before continuing, ". . .and the Wild Dudes are acting as Arthur's bodyguards here tonight, while Ed and Double D are out here as Eddy's moral support. . .the teams are even, and with a lot to prove, as the XCW World Television title is on the line. . .RIGHT NOW!"

The bell rang and the match began with Arthur and Eddy pacing around the ring, eventually meeting in the center of it in a tie-up. Eddy came out of it by putting Arthur in a waist-lock, then clubbing him in the back with a right hand! Arthur winced in pain as he turned around. . .and was taken down by a clothesline from Eddy! Eddy went for a cover, 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out! Eddy pulled Arthur up to his feet and slapped him in the chest with a thunderous chop! Eddy kept hitting Arthur with chop after chop until he was baked up against the ropes. Eddy then Irish whipped Arthur across the ring, and after he bounced back, took him down with a swift kick to the ribcage! Eddy went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out!

Eddy pulled Arthur up to a standing position. . .only for Arthur to surprise Eddy with a punch right between the eyes! Arthur then nailed Eddy in the chest with three chops of his own, before Irish whipping the D-Ed Leader into a corner. Arthur charged toward Eddy and drove him back into the corner with a tackle, before taking him down with a side headlock takedown! Arthur went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out! Arthur stood up and ran against the ropes behind him and on the bounceback, nailed Eddy in the side of the head with a swift kick to the temple! Arthur went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out!

"Both of these two men getting are getting decent first licks in this World Television title matchup!" Frylock said. "It's only a matter of time before this match gets heated!"

Arthur pulled Eddy up by all three of his hairs then Irish whipped him over the ropes. . .but Eddy countered it with an Irish whip of his own that sent Arthur toppling over the top rope. . .but Arthur held onto the middle rope before he could make impact on the floor. Arthur pulled himself onto the ring apron. . .only for Eddy to knock him off it with a running elbow, causing Arthur to land HARD on the ringside floor! Eddy stepped over the second rope and then to the floor while the referee began the ten count. Arthur clenched his shoulder in pain, selling the impact. . .until Eddy Irish whipped Arthur down the floor, and into the steel steps, forcing the First PBS Kid to make impact with a sickening thud as Ed looked on from another corner.

"You're a real go-getter, Eddy!" cheered Ed, while Rigby looked on at the Monobrowed Colossus with an annoyed grimace. Meanwhile, Eddy pulled Arthur up to his feet while the referee's count reached three, then kneed him in the gut before putting him in a headlock. . .but Arthur hit Eddy with an elbow to the gut of his own! Arthur then put Eddy in another headlock, and took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep on the floor as the referee's count reached five! As Arthur pulled Eddy back up to his feet, Rigby stepped toward the two. . .until he saw Double D stride in his direction, upon which Arthur just slid Eddy back into the ring under the bottom rope, then followed in behind him, breaking the referee's ten-count.

"Rigby had mischief on the mind. . .but Double D saw it coming!" Frylock said. "And Rigby doesn't like it one bit!"

"Don't just assume he was going to attack Eddy, Frylock! He was just making sure Arthur was okay, and sure enough, he knows Arthur has the upper hand!" Shake insisted, before Arthur went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out! Arthur quickly pulled Eddy up by the hair and slugged him in the face with a right hand before taking him down with a swinging neckbreaker! Arthur went for one more cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out!

"It's gonna take more than just a drop to the ringside floor to take down a multiple time World Heavyweight Champion!" Frylock said, as Arthur pulled Eddy up to his knees. . .

. . .and slapped him VICIOUSLY across the face to boos from the crowd!

"Oh my God. . .that's CLASSLESS. Some role model Arthur turned out to be!" said Frylock, while Mordecai and Rigby cheered on the First PBS Kid from ringside!

"Arthur's TOTALLY a role model, Frylock!" Shake insisted. "He's picking apart Eddy body part by body part! He's attacked the torso, and now he's going for the head. Now that's what I call a strategy!"

". . .do you even HEAR yourself when you talk, Shake?" deadpanned Frylock, while Arthur pulled Eddy up to a standing position. . .only for Eddy to knock Arthur's arm out of its grip and slap him in the chest with a chop, to more chants of, "WOOO!" from the crowd. Eddy slapped Arthur with chop after chop until he was backed up against a corner, then Eddy began kicking Arthur repeatedly in the chest until he fell to a seated position, upon which, Eddy's kicks turned into stomps!

"And now Eddy is giving Arthur a crash course in what happens when you disrespect the D-Ed leader!" Frylock declared until Arthur slid out of the corner face-up, almost out like a light. Eddy then laid on top of the First PBS Kid for a cover, hooking a leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .ARTHUR'S FOOT WAS ON THE BOTTOM ROPE! Eddy looked at the rope in disbelief. . .and saw Mordecai stride to a different side of the ring!

"Wait a minute. . .Mordecai! The blue jay of the Wild Dudes just bailed out the First PBS Kid!" shouted Frylock, as Eddy seethed with anger under his teeth. . .until Arthur slugged him in the face with a right hand! Arthur pulled himself up to his feet, put Eddy in a headlock, and took him down with a snapmare. Arthur then went for a chin lock. . .but Eddy was able to grip Arthur's wrists! Eddy fought hard to pull himself up to his feet, keeping his grasp on Arthur's hands the whole way, before taking him down with an armbar, and landing onto his shoulder with a leg drop! Eddy stood up, foregoing a pin attempt. . .and locking Arthur in an Inverted Indian Deathlock!

"Eddy's got Arthur trapped with nowhere to go in the Inverted Indian Deathlock!" Frylock called. "We're gonna have a new World Television Champion!"

"Come on, Arthur! You can find a way out of this! Use your smarts!" rooted Shake, as the referee knelt down and asked Arthur if he wanted to quit. Arthur shook his head no as he wormed closer to the ropes. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .came oh so close to the ropes. . .

. . .AND HAD TO TAP OUT!

"HE'S TAPPING! HE'S TAPPING! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION—WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock screamed unintelligibly. . .

. . .BUT THE REFEREE WAS DISTRACTED BY RIGBY, WHO WAS STANDING ON THE RING APRON!

"And now RIGBY'S getting involved!" yelled Frylock. "Eddy had this match won, DAMMIT!"

"Now THAT'S teamwork!" Shake said, as Eddy let go of the hold and stepped toward the referee and yelled in his direction, trying to get his attention. The referee turned around to face the D-Ed Leader. . .

. . .while Double D pulled Rigby off the ring apron!

"And look at Double D!" Frylock said, as he hit Rigby in the face with a right hand. . .before taking him down with an Inverted Atomic Drop! "The Sockhead, Double D, is evening the odds for his leader and friend!"

"Oh, and you wanna condemn the Wild Dudes for 'cheating'?" snapped Shake. "The Eds are just as guilty, if not even more so!"

Back in the ring, Eddy pulled Arthur up to his feet and kicked him in the midsection. . .or, he would have if Arthur didn't catch his foot before it made impact! Arthur swung Eddy's leg to the left, spinning him around to face the opposite direction, then dropped him with a reverse DDT! Arthur went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 EDDY KICKED OUT! Arthur couldn't believe it! Meanwhile on the ringside floor, Ed saw Double D taking care of Rigby from another side of the ring, and stepped toward him. . .

. . .until Mordecai knocked him to the floor from behind with a chop block!

"And now Mordecai took down the Monobrowed Monster from out of nowhere! This is starting to get out of hand!" Frylock exclaimed.

"The referee didn't see it, Early! He was making the count!" said Shake, while back in the ring, Arthur backed up against the ropes while Eddy staggered up to a standing position. . .then ran toward him before going for a Scissors Kick. . .

. . .but Eddy evaded it just in time before it could make impact! Arthur turned around to face the D-Ed Leader. . .

. . .WHO TOOK HIM DOWN WITH AN AA SPINEBUSTER!

"BUT HE SAW THAT SPINEBUSTER CONNECT! EDDY'S GOING FOR THE COVER!" Frylock exclaimed, as Eddy went for the cover, 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 MORDECAI PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Frylock yelled. "MORDECAI PULLED THE REFEREE OUT!"

"And he pulled the rug out from under the D-Ed leader, too!" added Shake, as Eddy screamed some obscenities at Mordecai from the ring. . .

. . .BEFORE GETTING HIT WITH A LOW BLOW FROM ARTHUR!

"OOOOOOH! Eddy ain't gonna be having kids any time soon!" cringed Shake, as Eddy fell to his knees, clenching his nether regions in pain. Meanwhile, on the ringside floor, Double D charged toward Mordecai. . .

. . .but Mordecai leapt up, caught Double D. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH THE YEAHUH (Zig-Zag)! Mordecai hurriedly slid the referee back into the ring under the bottom rope while Arthur put Eddy in a headlock. . .

. . .AND PLANTED HIM WITH THE FINAL CHAPTER!

"ARTHUR GOT THE FINAL CHAPTER! DAMMIT! THE WILD DUDES HAVE SCREWED EDDY OUT OF SILVER LINING!" Frylock screamed, as Arthur went for a cover inside the ring! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"AND ARTHUR RETAINS THE WORLD TELEVISION TITLE, AND GETS TO GO TO SILVER LINING. . .AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO THE DAMN WILD DUDES!" shouted Frylock as the bell rang, and Ed strode into Mordecai's direction!

"The winner of this match. . .AND STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .ARTHUR READ!"

The referee raised Arthur's arm in victory and handed him his World Television Championship belt. . .upon which, Arthur dropped the belt onto the mat. . .pulled Eddy back up in a headlock. . .

. . .and took him down with ANOTHER Final Chapter, this time on the World Television title belt!

"OH COME ON! YOU DIDN'T DESERVE TO WIN THE DAMN MATCH, AND EDDY SURE DIDN'T DESERVE THAT!" yelled Frylock in disgust, as Arthur kicked Eddy out of the ring from under the bottom rope. Meanwhile, Ed charged toward Mordecai for a meathook clothesline. . .

. . .only for Rigby to leap off the ring apron and hit Ed in the face with the Death Punch (Superman Punch)! Ed stumbled around the floor completely and utterly dazed. . .

. . .UNTIL MORDECAI TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A PUNCHIE (Clothesline From Hell)!

"Mordecai and Rigby have conquered the Monobrowed Monster with what they call the Death Punchies!" Shake informed. "These guys are proving they're here for the long haul tonight!"

"This isn't how you earn respect in this industry, Shake! This isn't how you make a name for yourself in this company! The only thing the Wild Dudes are proving is that they're on the same moral level as Arthur himself!" Frylock said, as Mordecai and Rigby pulled Eddy up. . .and took him down on the ringside floor with a double DDT!

"Somebody has to stop this-WAIT A MINUTE!" screamed Frylock. "LOOK AT DOUBLE D!"

Arthur stood in the ring, nodding in satisfaction as he watched the Wild Dudes beat Ed and Eddy senseless. . .

. . .UNTIL DOUBLE D LEAPT OFF A TOP ROPE AND SURPRISED ARTHUR WITH AN EDDICANRANA (Dragonrana)!

"DOUBLE D IS UP, AND HE'S HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF THIS!" Frylock exclaimed, as Double D scowled angrily at the First PBS Kid while pulling him up to a standing position. . .

. . .until Mordecai and Rigby slid into the ring from behind Double D! They charged toward the Sockhead. . .

. . .but Double D Irish whipped Arthur into the Wild Dudes, knocking everyone down! Double D baseball slid out of the ring, rushed to and checked on his teammates.

"From that scowl on Double D's face, he did not like what transpired tonight one bit!" Frylock declared, as Ed slowly but surely made it up to his feet in a daze, while Double D tended to Eddy. "He knows for a fact that Arthur is an undeserving champion, that he doesn't deserve to be in the Silver Lining ladder match, and that all these people know it, too!"

Ed came around to Eddy's other side and lifted him up by the arm while Arthur and the Wild Dudes shouted more than a few words to D-Generation Ed.

"Well, he and these people are idiots, Frylock!" Shake snapped. "Arthur and the Wild Dudes not only established great teamwork here tonight, they delivered a message of their own to D-Generation Ed. . .that they're here to compete, and that they mean business! And Arthur's gonna get down to business two weeks from now in the Silver Lining ladder match at Silver Lining!"

Ed and Double D said nothing back to Arthur and the Wild Dudes. . .only scowling at them as they made their way up the ramp.

"He may get what he has coming to him, as well Shake, because he may not remember. . .that CLAUDE SPEED will be waiting for him in that very match," informed Frylock. "And after the chaos that just transpired. . .you can count on D-Generation Ed wanting to get another crack at Mordecai and Rigby, as well as the XCW World Television Championship!"

Ed and Double D backed up the ramp, dragging Eddy in front of them by the arms while they angrily stared down Arthur Read, Mordecai and Rigby, both teams holding their staredown until the show faded to a video package.

The video package began with a shot of Claude Speed nailing Tommy Vercetti in the face with his barbed-wire 2x4, breaking it, then cutting to a shot of Claude walking up the ramp with the XCW Hardcore title high above his head.

"Claude Speed emerges from it all as our first Hardcore Champion!" Shake said, until the package faded to a shot of Claude Speed cutting a promo in the backstage area.

"There will be no holds barred, no count-outs, and most of all, no mercy!" Claude said, with a microphone up to his mouth, until the package faded to a shot of Claude Speed hitting Bugs Bunny with his Bicycle Kick, then raising the XCW World Television Championship high above his head.

"Claude is back. . .Claude is strong. . .Claude has become the XCW World Television Champion!" Early yelled, as the package faded to a shot of Claude driving Deadpool through a window. . .until static began to cut sporadically into the image before blanketing the image completely.

Suddenly. . .

. . .the image cut to a shot of a two-story house completely engulfed in flames, as a multitude of trucks and large propane tanks are scattered around the area, some of them on fire, others close to the fire. The camera slowly moved in closer to the two-story house as the roaring sound of the flames burning into the sky dominated the shot.

"Freedom will be possible when people understand and desire it — for man can only rule where others subserviently obey." said a gravelly male voice. "Where none obey, none have power to rule."

A truck and a large propane tank suddenly exploded while the sound of the roaring flames grow louder and louder in volume. . .until the package cut to black, with a singular word appearing on screen. . .

PADOVA.

\---

And like that. . .

. . .it's DONE! I'm slowly but surely getting my groove back, and it feels GOOD. XD

Two parts of this episode are down, with one more to go! That will come soon, until then. . .READ AND REVIEW!


	43. XCW Massacre: July Week 2 Part 2

And now. . .the EXCITING CONCLUSION. . .TO THE FINAL PART. . .OF THIS WEEK'S EPISODE. . .of XCW Monday Night Massacre. I only own my championships.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Mimi Tachikawa stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion. . .and my best friend. . .Sora Takenouchi!"

The camera panned left revealing Sora standing next to her with the XCW Women's title belt over her shoulder.

"Sora. . ." Mimi said before giggling. ". . .sorry, I'm just so excited! I interviewed Tai last week, and tonight, I'm interviewing you! Two friends in a row! How is he, by the way, while we're on the topic?"

". . .he's still preparing. . .bad leg and all. . ." Sora said. "I need to go talk more sense into him. . ."

"Well, before you go, can I ask you. . .you've been out of competition since your title defense in a Hardcore match at Heatwave, but you've seen all the matches in the number one contender's tournament for your title, with one more coming up next. With all this new competition in XCW's women's division, who do you want to face at Silver Lining the most?"

Sora chuckled. "Oh, I couldn't possibly pick an ideal opponent, Mimi. I'm just happy and eager to see more competition emerge in our women's division. As fun as it was to settle the score against Peach, I wanted to look across the ring at someone else for a change. . .and for the past two weeks, the talent, both old and new has been nothing short of impressive. All I can say is that no matter who wins this tournament, I'll be healthy, ready to defend this belt with honor, and give them a fight that they'll never forget—"

"Oh my GOD, you're giving me diabetes. . ." someone said off-screen, interrupting Sora, who looked to her side and saw Casey Lynch step into frame, and look Sora right in her eyes.

"Seriously. . .you and Tai can't be more alike. You're both so naïve, you might as well be living in another world," Casey said. "Well, let me tell you one thing right here, and right now. . .I've already beaten one former XCW Women's Champion in this tournament. . .Wasp will be back in the hospital when I'm done with her next week. . .then after the finals. . .you're gonna be facing ME for your championship at Silver Lining. . .and before I claim that title as mine, rest assured I'll give you one HELL of an encore!"

"Oh really? What are you gonna play for me, 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot'? Or something original, like 'I Tapped Out' or 'Spoke Too Soon'? asked Sora.

"Wow, you're quick tonight. . .you must want Silver Lining to come early. . .I can and WILL make that happen. . ." Casey said, raising a fist.

". . .don't you have a boyfriend to find. . .?" Sora asked, raising an eyebrow.

Casey lowered her arm, scowling at Sora. ". . .don't you have to pull yours from the main event? We may argue a little more. . .but we're not as joined at the hip as you two, and we damn sure don't use our relationship to define us! The only thing that I will use to define ME. . .is winning this tournament, and winning THAT title."

Casey pressed her finger right against the front of Sora's title belt, nodding her head. "I'll see you around. . ."

Casey left the interview area, leaving Sora and Mimi behind.

". . .you and Tai are past all that, aren't you, Sora?" asked Mimi.

"We are. . ." Sora said, scowling in Casey's direction. ". . .Mimi?"

"Yeah?"

". . .I think I can answer your question now. . ." stated Sora, before the show transitioned back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following diva's contest is scheduled for one fall!"

"Sweet Dreams Are Made of These" by Marilyn Manson played as Lee Kanker walked down the ramp and into the ring to boos from the crowd.

"Introducing first. . .representing the Kanker Sisters. . .from Peach Creek. . .LEE KANKER!"

"Well, Casey Lynch just made a bold statement to Sora Takenouchi. . .but right now, Lee Kanker is looking to make one of her own in the final match of the first round in this number one contender's tournament for the XCW Women's Championship!" Frylock said, as Lee Kanker slid into the ring from under the bottom rope, raising a fist up in the air while shouting something unintelligible toward the fans.

"She's a former PCUW Women's Tag Team Champion and a former CWF Women's Champion, holding it with both her sisters at the same time." informed Shake. "But Lee Kanker has been looking to make a name for herself as a singles star in XCW, and a win tonight will do just that! Of course, it's just a question of who her opponent is going to be. . ."

Lee stood in a corner of the ring, jumping from side to side, pumping herself up, until. . .

. . .all the lights went off in the arena?

"What the hell?" Frylock said. "What's going on here?"

". . .Lee's gonna die tonight, isn't she?" asked Shake, before. . .

. . ."Pins and Needles" by The Birthday Massacre played. . .?

"Woah. . .this is blowing my mind. . ." Shake said, as a white spotlight shone onto the stage, illuminating a black-haired woman standing on it. She stepped down the ramp clutching a bouquet of flowers against her chest. . .and wearing a bloody wedding dress.

"And her opponent. . .making her Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .from Blackfield Asylum. . .she is. . .BLOODY MARY!"

"Oh my God. . ." Frylock exclaimed. "The last time Bloody Mary did ANYTHING in fiction wrestling, she was a Queen's Champion in UWE! She won the title from Gum in 2001, and held onto it for seven months before eventually losing the title. But now she's here in XCW. . .and from the look on her face, and her unstable demeanor. . .she hasn't changed a bit."

Bloody Mary stepped into the ring above the second rope, a blank stare on her face, and trembling limbs. . .barely keeping her insanity in check.

"You got that right. . ." agreed Shake. ". . .this woman looks like she's gonna explode any damn SECOND now. . .that's bad for EVERYONE. . .except for her!"

The bell rang and the match began with the lights going up, and both women standing in opposite corners. Lee Kanker charged toward Bloody Mary and drove her into a corner, hitting her with vicious right and left hands, and followed them up with a high knee!

"So far Lee Kanker's on the rabid offensive!" Frylock said. "She's not afraid of Bloody Mary, not ONE BIT!"

Lee Kanker pulled Bloody Mary out of the corner and Irish whipped her toward the ropes. Lee charged toward Bloody Mary as she bounced back. . .

. . .but Bloody Mary caught her, tossed her up into the air. . .

. . .AND TOOK HER DOWN AS SHE WAS FALLING WITH A POWERFUL EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!

"OOOOOOH! That spun Lee 360 degrees!" Shake cringed.

". . .oooh dear. . .I spoke too soon. . ." foreboded Frylock, before Bloody Mary pulled Lee Kanker up by the hair as she was seething with anger. . .then raised her HIGH above her shoulders. . .and took her down with a Military Press Gutbuster! Lee tried kicking Bloody Mary as she rose up to her feet. . .but Bloody Mary caught her leg, spun Lee around so she was facing her back. . .

. . .then PLANTED her back down to the mat with a Full Nelson Slam. . .but she kept her full nelson hold locked in! Bloody Mary quickly pulled Lee up to a standing position. . .and threw her into a nearby corner with a fall away slam! Lee tried to pull herself up with the ropes in the corner. . .until Bloody Mary stepped toward her. . .gripped her by the back of her head. . .

. . .AND RAMMED HER HEAD AND FACE FIRST INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! Lee Kanker stumbled out of the corner in a daze. . .until Bloody Mary gripped her by the back of her head again. . .and rammed her face first into the top turnbuckle for a second time. . .then a third time. . .and over and over and over again until she made it to TEN!

"By God, Bloody Mary's come unhinged, Shake!" Frylock declared. "She's going to town on Lee Kanker!"

Once Lee made impact for the TENTH time, Bloody Mary FINALLY let go of Lee, who reeled around the ring. . .

. . .UNTIL BLOODY MARY TOOK HER DOWN WITH A BULLDOG THAT RAMMED HER HEAD INTO THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE!

"GEEZ. . .I thought Lee was in danger, but THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" Shake cringed, as Bloody Mary pulled Lee up by the hair again. . .

. . .put her in a headlock and turned her around as she ran forward. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HER WITH THE SILVER SIXPENCE (Straightjacket Neckbreaker)! Bloody Mary rose up to her feet, staring with a malicious expression on her face toward Lee Kanker, who just laid motionless in the center of the ring.

"Does Bloody Mary even WANT to go for a cover?" exclaimed Frylock, as Bloody Mary taunted Lee Kanker, practically BEGGING for her to get up. Slowly but surely. . .Lee stumbled up to her feet. . .staggering and struggling to keep her balance. . .

. . .until Bloody Mary clubbed her in the abdomen with a throat thrust. . .

. . .put her in a front face lock. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HER ON HER HEAD WITH THE FINAL VOW (Package Piledriver)!

"PACKAGE PILEDRIVER! BAH GAWD, THAT'S GOTTA BE OVER!" yelled Frylock, as Bloody Mary FINALLY went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"And this match is FINALLY over. . ." Frylock said, while Bloody Mary sat up from the cover with a malicious smile on her face as the bell rang!

"The winner of this match. . .BLOODY MARY!"

"Well, Shake. . .Bloody Mary won the match and advanced in the tournament. . .at the expense of everyone else. . ." Frylock said. "Casey Lynch's debut was impressive last week, but THIS. . .this was a remorseless and sadistic act of DESTRUCTION. She may have broken every bone in Lee's body. . .needless to say, I feel sympathy for Lee Kanker. . .as well as whoever has to cross this woman NEXT in the tournament. . ."

The referee raised Bloody Mary's arm in victory as Bloody Mary rose up to her feet, glaring at the fans with the same malicious stare, even as she stepped out of the ring, passing the EMTs on their way down the ramp.

"You don't have to wait for TOO much longer, Frylock. . .because I've just gotten word that next week, in the second round of this tournament, Casey Lynch will fight Wasp, while Bloody Mary will square off. . .against 'The Cosmos Summoner,' YUNA!" Shake informed. "As good of a showing Yuna had last week against Margaret. . .her streak of good luck just might come to an end at the hands of this psychopath!"

Lee Kanker laid in the center of the ring with EMTs checking on her until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Tai sat on a training bed with Sora and Space Ghost standing on opposite sides of him.

". . .Tai. . .you CAN'T do this!" Sora insisted. "Your leg isn't strong enough!"

"I'm inclined to agree with Sora. . ." said Space Ghost. "I let you make the challenge, and I regret not stepping in until now. . .but as the Commissioner of XCW, I can't let you go out there, Tai! After the events of last week, you NEED a break!"

"I'll take a break once I've knocked some sense into Sweet Tooth. . ." Tai said, stepping out of the bed, gingerly putting light pressure on his casted leg as he walked out of the room. "Someone needs to stand up against these guys. . .and with Hotsuma on my radar at Silver Lining, I HAVE to be ready for him, as well as anything the Knighthood tries to pull beforehand! And tonight. . .I'm fighting someone that knows me too well. . .Needles will pull out all the stops. . .so I have to do the same to him. . .and I have to do it. . .ALONE. . ."

"Come on, Tai, don't do this! He'll bring the rest of the Knighthood out with him! It's TOO dangerous!" Sora insisted, following Tai out of the room.

"I'll give you anything, Tai! I'll push back the World title match until after Silver Lining! You can take a break whenever you like! A VACATION! PLEASE, TAI! BE REASONABLE!" Space Ghost screamed, following Sora and Tai from behind, leaving the training room empty.

"Tai Kamiya squares off against Sweet Tooth. . .NEXT!" Frylock said, before the show faded to a commercial break.

As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, The Mask strutted down a hallway with a sly grin on his face.

"JUICE BY TAPPY! JUICE BY TAPPY! JUICE BY TAPPY!" The Mask sang, not noticing Mario with his arms crossed as he passed him, "OOOOOOOH, TAPPY'S GOT JUICE! OOOOOOOOH, TAPPY'S GOT JUICE! OOOOOOOOOH…'"

"I have a-to ask one thing. . .Stanley. . .have you gotten less annoying in a-the last nineteen a-years?" Mario asked, upon which, The Mask spun around and saw the Champion of Life.

"MARIOOOO!" The Mask exclaimed. "Nah, not really. . .but you. . .you've changed quite a bit in nineteen years, haven't ya? Going from rescuing princesses for Nintendo. . .to kidnapping them in UCA! There's SO much irony in that, I can't help but laugh!"

"Can a-we PLEASE keep a-that where it a-belongs, Stanley? Here, I'm a-the Champion of Life, and you WON'T be a-laughing when I reach a-top of the ladder in the Silver Lining ladder match, and win a-the contract for myself! I was the first-ever XCW World Heavyweight Champion, and should still be the face of this company!"

"Well, you've got a point. . .you do go out of your way to make yourself look great. Look at the merchandise you're putting out! You're selling Mario-themed coffee mugs, Mario t-shirts, Mario themed lunchboxes, Mario themed placemats, Mario themed paperweights. . .are you saving the Mario themed shaving cream and air fresheners for after Silver Lining? The kids will LOOOVE those!"

"I am a man in HIGH demand, Stanley!" Mario yelled. "My business endeavors are just that. . .MY BUSINESS. So get out of it!"

"Ohhhh, I don't think so. . .because your talents have parameters. . .we all saw you get your own spiked knuckles to the face at Heatwave. . .we always see you throw Luigi in front of the bus when the chips are down. . .and do I even need to mention the Mario brothers movie? No wonder you passed on Wreck-It-Ralph. . ."

"WE NEVER TALK ABOUT A-THAT! IT A-NEVER HAPPENED!" snapped Mario, his eye twitching with anger.

"Like your rip-off of Dance Dance Revolution?" grinned The Mask.

"ENOUGH! You want to doubt a-the talents of the Champion of Life? Why don't a-you face me and a-Luigi next week in a handicap a-match, and then we'll see who thinks a-they're the best!"

"A handicap match. . .I could use a bit of a challenge come Silver Lining. . .well, Mac, ya got yourself a match!" The Mask said with a grin, before pointing at Mario's shoe. "And you also got yourself an untied shoe!"

"I'm a-NOT falling for your antics, Stanley!" Mario said as he stomped down the hallway, going completely off-screen. . .

"MAMMA MIIIIA!"

. . .before he tripped on his untied shoelaces, to a concerned look from The Mask. . .until he looked into the camera.

"You didn't think I was really gonna plant him with The Smokin' End, did you? I'm not THAT one-note. . ." The Mask said, looking back at Mario for a bit. . .before facing the camera one more time with a wide grin.

"And now, here's something we hope you'll REALLY like!" exclaimed The Mask, before reaching off-screen to the right, and pulling a wide shot of the arena over his current scene, transitioning the show back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"The following contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling main event for the evening!"

The crowd cheered with excitement until. . .

"This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played! The crowd erupted into even more cheers as Tai ran down the stage, focusing only on the ring.

"Introducing first. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . . he is 'The Crestbearer of Courage'. . .and the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOORLD. . .TAI KAMIYA!"

"Well, bad leg and all, Tai Kamiya, the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, is on his way out here to square off against a former UWE X-Treme Champion, Sweet Tooth." Frylock said. "Outside XCW, the two are known to be good friends, but that was until Sweet Tooth revealed himself as a member of the Knighthood of Assassins last week, and helped Hotsuma, Scorpion, Sub-Zero and Solid Snake destroy the ringside area AND the ring, as well as assault not only Tai, but Bugs Bunny, Plankton, our former ring announcer, and Early Cuyler, XCW's former play-by-play commentator. And while I am grateful for the opportunity to fill his position, I wish it didn't happen in the way that it did."

The crowd cheered as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles, raising the World Heavyweight title belt toward the fans.

". . .I wish it didn't happen AT ALL. . ." Shake quipped, ". . .but that's beside the point. The point is, that Tai Kamiya is a DEAD MAN WALKING tonight. Not only is he wrestling tonight with an injured leg, but Sweet Tooth's gonna have Hotsuma, Solid Snake, Scorpion AND Sub-Zero out at ringside with him! Tai may think he's doing the right thing by standing up to the Knighthood of Assassins, but to me, he's asking for a repeat of the massacre last week! Tai is a SITTING DUCK, as far as I'm concerned."

Tai stood in a corner, looking up the ramp with anticipation, until. . .

"Paint It Black" by The Rolling Stones played! The crowd erupted into a chorus of boos while Sweet Tooth walked onto the stage with Hotsuma, Scorpion, Sub-Zero and Solid Snake stepping onto it behind him.

"And his opponent. . .representing the Knighthood of Assassins. . .being accompanied to the ring by Hotsuma, Solid Snake, Scorpion and Sub-Zero. . .from Blackfield Asylum. . .he is Needles. . .'Sweet Tooth'. . .KAAAAANE!"

"As a UWE original, Sweet Tooth has had a storied and decorated career, especially as a hardcore wrestler." Frylock informed. "He won the X-Treme Championship on six occasions, and with all that came a knowledge on how to make a weapon out of ANYTHING he can get his hands on, as well as an huge appetite for destruction, He's taken all that with him on his way to XCW, and unfortunately, for the rest of our roster, it's helped him fit right in with Hotsuma and the Knighthood of Assassins."

Sweet Tooth climbed over all three ropes and entered the ring, glaring at all the fans around the arena before staring Tai down right in the eyes through his mask.

"Gee, ya think so?" Shake snapped. "If you ask me, he fit right in with them once XCW debuted, because he fought in the first-ever match for the XCW Hardcore Championship, only for Space Ghost to never think about giving him a match SINCE that night! He, Scorpion and Hotsuma said this was not about attention, it was about RESPECT. . .and if he gave them just that, this company's new era wouldn't be in complete disarray, and Tai would be resting instead of gimping around like the Black Knight with a flesh wound! But Sweet Tooth is gonna make sure loud and clear tonight that if the Knighthood doesn't get the respect that they deserve, they will give Tai a taste tonight of what will happen to him two weeks from now at Silver Lining, when the Knighthood Leader, Hotsuma takes him on for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!"

The bell rang and the match began with Tai Kamiya and Sweet Tooth standing in opposite corners, then staring each other down as they paced around the ring, eventually meeting in a tie-up. Tai was able to put Sweet Tooth in a waist-lock. . .

. . .UNTIL SWEET TOOTH STEPPED ON HIS BAD FOOT! Tai screamed in agonizing pain as Sweet Tooth turned around to face the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, and drove him into the corner with a shoulder block! Sweet Tooth then backed up, only to charge forward, and hit Tai with repeated shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust, causing Tai to slide down to a seated position in the corner. . .and Sweet Tooth to hit Tai in the chest with vicious mudhole stomp after mudhole stomp! Sweet Tooth pulled Tai into the center of the ring for a cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! Sweet Tooth pulled Tai up to his feet and hit him in the face with a lariat that knocked the World Heavyweight Champion against the ropes behind him. Tai bounced back. . .and right into a big boot from Sweet Tooth! Sweet Tooth went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!

Sweet Tooth pulled Tai up to his feet by the hair. . .only for Tai to kick him in the shin with his good leg. . .then slap him in the chest with a furious chop, the crowd chanting "WOOO!" in unison with it. Tai continued to slap Sweet Tooth with chop after chop until he was driven against the ropes. Tai then Irish whipped Sweet Tooth across the ring, and on the bounceback, took him down with a side headlock takedown, then landed a leg drop across his chest and face! Tai went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Sweet Tooth kicked out! Tai kept hammering away at Sweet Tooth's chest with swift kick after swift kick as he tried to get up, then dropkicked him against the ropes behind him. Tai then charged toward Sweet Tooth for a clothesline. . .only for the Twisted Metal Mascot to duck and send him flying over the ropes and down to the ringside floor, where Tai landed on his back with a painful thud!

"OOOOOOH! The pain must be excruciating!" cringed Frylock, as Sweet Tooth climbed over all three ropes and stepped back down to the ringside floor, gripping Tai by the hair and causing the referee to begin a ten count. Sweet Tooth glared into Tai's eyes before chucking him toward the steel pole, causing Tai to collide into it head and face first with a sickening crash! Tai stumbled around the ringside floor, clenching his forehead in pain. . .until Sweet Tooth picked Tai up, held him above his shoulders. . .and dropped him over the barricade, causing Tai to hit it face first!

"GEEZ! Tai thought GARFIELD was a challenge. . .but this is SOMETHING else!" Shake observed, as Sweet Tooth drove Tai back first into the ring apron behind him!

"Sweet Tooth knows how to use the environment as a weapon, even in matches with disqualification!" Frylock informed. "And with that right now, he clearly has the upper hand!"

Sweet Tooth slid Tai into the ring under the bottom rope, then climbed over the ropes behind him, breaking the referee's ten-count. Sweet Tooth quickly fell on top of Tai for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out! Sweet Tooth rose up from the cover. . .but not without kicking Tai in the ribs! Sweet Tooth then gripped Tai's bad leg. . .lifted it high off the mat. . .

. . .AND SLAMMED IT BACK DOWN WITH A KNEE SMASH!

"GOOD GRIEF!" screamed Frylock. "HOW THE HELL CAN TAI STILL USE HIS LEG, LET ALONE WALK ON IT?"

Tai wailed in excruciating pain as he clenched his casted leg until Sweet Tooth grabbed Tai by the throat. . .

. . .pulled him off the mat, into a front face lock. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH A GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB!

"YOU'RE TELLING ME, EARLY! But after this, Tai's GOTTA be out!" Shake said, before Sweet Tooth went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Sweet Tooth—pulled Tai's shoulders off the mat?

"You've got to be kidding me. . ." Frylock said. "Sweet Tooth wants to CONTINUE this onslaught!"

"Tai ASKED for this, Frylock! He HAD IT COMING!" Shake exclaimed, as Sweet Tooth hit Tai right between the eyes with a right hand that sent him reeling against the ropes behind him. Tai stumbled forward. . .

. . .AND RIGHT INTO A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER FROM SWEET TOOTH! Sweet Tooth went for one more cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 TAI KICKED OUT! Sweet Tooth couldn't believe it!

"Even after THAT, Tai kicked out!" Frylock said. "If Tai's asking for it, he knows how to take it!"

Sweet Tooth gripped Tai by the hair, and lifted him up to his feet. . .

. . .BUT TAI RAMMED AN ELBOW INTO SWEET TOOTH'S GUT! Tai then gripped a wrist-lock onto Sweet Tooth's right arm. . .

. . .and took him down with an Armbreaker!

"Tai is fighting back! Somehow, in some way, Tai is FIGHTING BACK!" called Frylock, as Tai staggered up to his feet. . .waited for Sweet Tooth to rise to his knees. . .and planted him on his head with a Jumping Tornado DDT! Tai went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .Sweet Tooth powered out! The Twisted Metal Mascot then IMMEDIATELY sat up, and rose to a standing position. Sweet Tooth stepped toward the Crestbearer of Courage, looming over him as he reached down to grab him by the hair. . .

. . .but Tai hit him in the chest with a soccer kick from his good leg! Sweet Tooth winced in pain. . .while Tai nailed him in the chest with ANOTHER soccer kick! Sweet Tooth cringed even harder as Tai continued to strike him with soccer kick after soccer kick until Sweet Tooth fell against the ropes behind him! Sweet Tooth gently bounced back. . .

. . .RIGHT INTO AN ALABAMA SLAM FROM TAI!

"TAI TOOK DOWN SWEET TOOTH WITH AN ALABAMA SLAM! HE'S GOT THE COVER!" Frylock screamed unintelligibly as Tai knelt down then went for a pin attempt! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.5 SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT!

"NO! How close was that?" Frylock asked, as both men were down in the center of the ring while the referee began a ten-count!

"These two men, once former allies, have done a number on each other here tonight in our main event!" Frylock said. "But will Tai Kamiya avenge the Knighthood's attack on XCW last week, or will Sweet Tooth continue their rampage?"

The referee's count reached four by the time Tai and Sweet Tooth had pulled themselves up to their feet with the ropes on opposite sides of the ring. The two allies-turned-rivals charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring, with Tai nailing Sweet Tooth with a chop to the chest—

-UNTIL SWEET TOOTH HIT HIM WITH A THROAT THRUST! Tai faltered to his knees until Sweet Tooth pulled him up by the arm. . .and sent him flying across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex! Tai sat up in a daze as he struggled to shake himself back into reality. . .until Sweet Tooth took him down with a scoop slam! Sweet Tooth went for a cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 TAI SOMEHOW GOT THE SHOULDER UP! Sweet Tooth shot up from the cover in disbelief!

"I don't know how Tai finds the strength, but it's confounding Sweet Tooth!" Frylock said. "How will Tai follow it up?"

"A BETTER question is, why hasn't Hotsuma, Scorpion. . .or any other members of the Knighthood gotten involved?" wondered Shake, as Hotsuma, Scorpion, Solid Snake and Sub-Zero looked on from opposite corners of the ringside floor. "They caused all that destruction last week, yet won't move in NOW? What's their deal?"

Sweet Tooth pulled Tai up to a standing position. . .until Tai surprised Sweet Tooth with a high knee from his good leg! Tai hurriedly drove Sweet Tooth against the ropes, then on the bounceback, took him down with a Dragon Screw! Tai then sized the Twisted Metal mascot up as he slowly rose up to a standing position. . .

. . .THEN TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! Tai quickly rolled on top of Sweet Tooth for the cover 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .2.75 SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT! Tai rose up from the cover, completely exasperated. . .

. . .BUT GRIPPED SWEET TOOTH IN A WAIST-LOCK!

"That waist-lock can only mean one thing when Tai does it. . .but can he get the big man up?" wondered Frylock, as Tai slowly but surely pulled Sweet Tooth up to a standing position and kept the waist-lock in his grip. . .but not without wincing in pain with EVERY STEP he took on his bad leg!

"Tai DID get Sweet Tooth up. . .but at what price?!" Shake scoffed, as Tai lifted Sweet Tooth up for a German suplex. . .

. . .BUT SWEET TOOTH HIT HIM IN THE BAD LEG WITH A BACK KICK! Tai faltered to one knee in pain, clenching his leg. . .

. . .until Sweet Tooth grabbed him by the throat. . .

. . .lifted him HIGH into the air. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH A CHOKESLAM! Sweet Tooth went for a cover! 1. . .

2\. . .

. . .3!

"MAH GAWD, SHAKE!" Frylock yelled unintelligibly after the bell rang. "Sweet Tooth took advantage of Tai's bad knee, and got himself and the Knighthood their first victory in XCW!"

"The winner of this match. . .Needles 'Sweet Tooth' KAAAAAAANE!"

Sweet Tooth rose up from the cover and the referee raised his arm in victory. . .

. . .OR, HE WOULD HAVE IF SWEET TOOTH DIDN'T TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A VICIOUS CLOTHESLINE!

"OH MY GOD! Sweet Tooth is at it again. . ." shouted Frylock. . .

. . .BEFORE HOTSUMA, SCORPION, SUB-ZERO AND SOLID SNAKE CHARGED INTO THE RING!

"And now the Knighthood of Assassins is joining in!" added Shake. "It's déjà vu all over again for Tai, AND for XCW!"

Hotsuma slugged Tai Kamiya with an uppercut as Sweet Tooth brought him up to his feet. . .then Scorpion hit him in the chest with a throat thrust. . .then Sub-Zero whacked him with a swift kick to the torso. . .then Solid Snake nailed him between the eyes with a headbutt. . .until FINALLY Sweet Tooth took him down with a VICIOUS clothesline!

"The Knighthood of Assassins don't want a victory tonight. . .they just want to pick apart Tai Kamiya until there's nothing left of him come Silver Lining!" Frylock said.

"At this rate, Tai won't even MAKE it to Silver Lining!" Shake added. "Hotsuma started a uprising with this Knighthood, and if you ask me, winning the XCW World Heavyweight title is becoming a VERY likely outcome once Silver Lining is a done deal!"

Tai just REELED around the ring, COMPLETELY surrounded by the Knighthood of Assassins. . .

. . .UNTIL SWEET TOOTH GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT. . .

. . .AND BROUGHT HIM DOWN WITH A CHOKESLAM!

"SWEET TOOTH HIT A CHOKESLAM! DAMMIT! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!" Frylock yelled unintelligibly, as Sweet Tooth pulled Tai up by the hair. . .and tossed him into Hotsuma's direction.

"There's nobody that CAN help him, Frylock!" insisted Shake. "Tai is DONE for—"

Hotsuma glared into Tai's eyes through his visor. . .then turned around for the Akujiki until. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . ."WHAT WOULD BRIAN BOITANO DO?" BY DVDA PLAYED!

"WAIT A MINUTE…." Frylock shouted, as the crowd ERUPTED into massive cheers! Hotsuma stopped in his tracks and looked up the ramp. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND THE SOUTH PARK FOUR RAN ONTO THE STAGE, ALL OF THEM (save for Cartman…) SPRINTING DOWN THE RAMP!

"THE SOUTH PARK FOUR! STAN, KYLE, CARTMAN AND KENNY HAVE RECOVERED FROM THEIR ASSAULT LAST WEEK! AND NOW THEY'RE LOOKING FOR REVENGE, AND TO SAVE TAI!" yelled Frylock unintelligibly, as the Knighthood of Assassins ran out of the ring and met the South Park Four at the foot of the ramp, with Hotsuma brawling with Stan Marsh, Sweet Tooth and Solid Snake double-teaming Kenny McCormick, Scorpion fighting Eric Cartman, and Sub-Zero exchanging blows with Kyle Broflovski!

"THE XCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS AND THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS ARE DUKING IT OUT AT RINGSIDE!" screamed Frylock, while Tai remained knelt in the center of the ring, catching his breath and regaining his bearings. "AND TAI KAMIYA WENT FROM BEING IN THE WORST POSITION IN THE WORLD. . .TO THE SAFEST PLACE IN THE ARENA RIGHT NOW!"

"IT IS ABSOLUTE PANDEMONIUM OUT HERE, FRYLOCK!" Shake exclaimed. "THESE TWO STABLES ARE GOING TO WAR ON EACH OTHER!"

The two teams kept brawling. . .until Kenny McCormick clocked Solid Snake in the face with a chain-wrapped hand, only for Sweet Tooth to drop him with a full nelson slam on the ringside floor! Sub-Zero grabbed a hold of Kyle Broflovski. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE BED OF ICE (Michinoku Driver) ON THE FLOOR!

"But even THE SOUTH PARK FOUR ISN'T ENOUGH! THERE'S TOO MANY OF THESE DAMN KNIGHTS!" Frylock added, until. . .

. . ."BUGGIN'" BY BUGS BUNNY PLAYED!

"NOW WHAT?" asked Shake, as the crowd just ROARED with thunderous cheers. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .WHILE BUGS BUNNY RAN DOWN THE RAMP!

"AND BUGS BUNNY IS BACK! THE ANIMATION ICON IS ENTERING HIMSELF INTO THIS CHAOTIC FRAY!" Frylock shouted, as Bugs Bunny charged down the ramp, his eyes incensed with fury until he charged toward Sub-Zero. . .

. . .AND DROVE HIM AGAINST THE RING APRON! Bugs hammered away at Sub-Zero with swift right and left hands!

"BUGS NOT ONLY HAS A BONE TO PICK WITH THE KNIGHTHOOD, BUT HE'S NOT ABOUT TO LET THEM ASSAULT HIS GOOD FRIEND TAI KAMIYA YET AGAIN!" yelled Frylock, as Bugs Irish whipped Sub-Zero toward Eric Cartman, who kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER!

"The Lin-Kuei Grandmaster just got planted with the South Park Stunner!" Frylock shouted, as Sweet Tooth charged toward the South Park Enforcer. . .

. . .BUT BUGS CLOCKED HIM IN THE FACE WITH A KARATE KICK! Sweet Tooth stumbled toward the ramp in a daze, while Hotsuma leapt up for the Akujiki on Stan Marsh. . .

. . .but the South Park Leader shoved him into Scorpion! With time to spare, the South Park Four and Bugs Bunny slid into the ring under the bottom rope, and they all checked on Tai.

"And now concern turns toward the XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . ." said Frylock, while Bugs asked Tai if he was alright, upon which, Tai nodded, 'yes', and sat up on his knees, while the Knighthood of Assassins stood on the ringside floor, looking up at the South Park Four, Bugs and Tai, engaging them in a staredown.

"Shake, if their return is any indication, I would think that Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman have ACCEPTED Scorpion and Sub-Zero's demands from earlier tonight for a shot at the XCW Tag Team titles!" Frylock said. "The Knighthood wanted to destroy Monday Night Massacre again, but there was no way the South Park Four OR Bugs Bunny were gonna take that sitting down after last week!"

"Well, Bugs and the South Park Four may have came to the aide of the World Heavyweight Champion, but in two weeks at Silver Lining, there won't be anyone to help Tai when he puts his title on the line against Hotsuma!" Shake said. "Tai's got his work REALLY cut out for 'im!"

Tai struggled to a standing position, the XCW World title belt draped over his shoulder as he and Hotsuma stared each other down with malicious scowls until Monday Night Massacre went off the air!

\-------------

Results

Wasp defeated Shenhua (advances in Number One Contendership tournament for the XCW Women's Championship)  
The Mask defeated Daffy Duck (qualifies for the Silver Lining ladder match at XCW Silver Lining)  
Arthur Read (c) defeated Eddy (retains XCW World Television Championship AND qualifies for the Silver Lining ladder match at XCW Silver Lining)  
Bloody Mary defeated Lee Kanker (advances in Number One Contendership tournament for the XCW Women's Championship)  
Sweet Tooth defeated Tai Kamiya

\-------------

FINALLY! For the first time since the FWAs, I have FINISHED an episode of XCW! I hope it was worth the wait! As always, PLEASE let me know if you feel like I have written something that seemed out of character for someone to do, or if anything doesn't make logical sense, and I will go in and correct it.

Also, I have to give a VERY special thanks to Ninja Cato for coming up with the name for Hotsuma's super stable. It was his prize from the Heatwave prediction contest to choose the name for the deadly troupe, and 'Knighthood of Assassins' fits them to a T. Thanks again, man! XD

With battle lines officially drawn, what is Tai's next move against the Knighthood of Assassins as his match with Hotsuma at Silver Lining draws closer? What role will the South Park Four play in it? Who will be the last man to qualify for the Silver Lining ladder match? What the hell is Tommy so uptight about? Who will advance in the semifinals of the Women's title number one contender's tournament? Who will The Mask piss off next? All these questions and more will be answered on the next episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre!

That will come soon, but until then. . .READ AND REVIEW!


	44. XCW Massacre: July Week 3 Showcap

“In Two” by Nine Inch Nails played in the background as Frylock and Master Shake sat on barstools next to each other in front of a giant HD television inside a locker room.

 

“Welcome to another edition of XCW Rewind, ladies and gentlemen!” greeted Frylock. “I’m Frylock with Master Shake here backstage about to recap the last two weeks of Monday Night Massacre in the month of July!”

 

“We would have two full episodes to show ya, but some dumbass intern dropped the hard drive they were on, nearly destroying all the raw video!” informed Shake. “All we got for ya are segments and parts of matches at low resolution. . .all thanks to a damn amateur.”

 

“But rest assured, what we have is everything you need to know before tomorrow night’s historic pay-per-view, Silver Lining!” said Frylock. “And we will start by covering the rivalry between D-Generation Ed, and Arthur and the Wild Dudes. After the World Television Championship match that ended with chaos and Arthur retaining the title and qualifying for the Silver Lining ladder match, Double D responded to it all in an interview with Mimi Tachikawa the following week on Monday Night Massacre in St. Canard. . .”

 

_The show cut to the backstage area, where Double D stood next to Mimi Tachikawa, who had a microphone in hand._

_“Double D. . .” Mimi asked, “Last week, your friend Eddy came close to winning the World Television Championship, but the Wild Dudes interfered and Arthur came away with the victory. Do you have anything to say on the matter?”_

_“Yes, Mimi. . .I have a plethora of things to say.” answered Double D. “First of all, there is no doubt in my mind that EDDY deserves to be the World Television Champion at this moment. Instead, he and Ed elected to give themselves a break tonight, while Arthur and the Wild Dudes gloat about their stolen victory! But another thing I’m here to say tonight. . .is that they won’t be gloating for long. . .because not only do Ed and Eddy wish to challenge Mordecai and Rigby to a tag team match at Silver Lining. . .but also, at this moment, I am challenging, nay, I am DEMANDING that Arthur Read defends his championship at Silver Lining. . .against ME!!! Because after what transpired last week, I know just the kind of champion that Arthur Read is, and he is NOT deserving of the glory he currently holds! He claimed to teach Eddy that he was the next big name in this company. . .but if there’s one thing his actions last week demonstrated. . .it’s that he is nothing more than a despicable, disrespectful rapscallion! Somebody had to halt his disgraceful attack on the three of us, and rest assured, if Arthur accepts my challenge. . .at Silver Lining. . .I will see to it that his reign as XCW World Television Champion comes to an abrupt END!”_

 

Back in the backstage area, Shake and Frylock watched Double D’s promo conclude on the television.

 

“His challenge would unfortunately fall onto deaf ears, however. . .when Arthur addressed the fans about the Silver Lining ladder match, and Double D’s challenge with Mordecai and Rigby by his side in the ring.” Frylock said. “Little did they know that Double D would have an ace up his sleeve. . .”

 

The show cut to the ring, where Arthur, Mordecai and Rigby stood, each of them holding a microphone.

 

_“Earlier tonight, D-Generation Ed’s own Sockhead, Double D, challenged me to a match for my World Television Championship at Silver Lining.” Arthur said. “He also claimed that I am. . .in his own words, a despicable, disrespectful rapscallion. . .as well as an undeserving champion. Well to that, and to his challenge, I say. . .no. He is WRONG on every claim. Last week, the Wild Dudes and I were only doing what we do best. . .and that’s teaching life lessons. And the lesson that we taught D-Generation Ed. . .was not to bite off more that you can chew._

_The Eds have won tag team championships everywhere. . .Eddy and Ed have been world champions in CWF and PCUW, respectively. . .they OWN A DARN COMPANY. . but when Eddy challenged me two weeks ago for the World Television Championship, he was ASKING for the Final Chapter! Because this isn’t just the World Television Championship of XCW. . .this is the World Television Championship. . .of the ROOKIE REVOLUTION!!!”_

_The crowd erupted into boos while Mordecai and Rigby nodded along in agreement with Arthur._

_“Eddy asked for too much when he challenged me for this belt because the Rookie Revolution, the Wild Dudes and I. . .are the FUTURE of this business, and the FUTURE of this company! While other wrestlers fight with strength. . .we fight with strategy! They use brawn. . .we use teamwork! And when the Eds talk about their experience as if it matters. . .they neglect to use smarts. And Double D isn’t thinking smart by challenging me to a match at Silver Lining. . .because if he didn’t learn the lesson I taught Eddy last week. . .he doesn’t have the intelligence to—“_

_“HEY!!! ARTHUR!”_

_“What the…? What’s going on?” Shake wondered, while Arthur, Mordecai and Rigby looked around the arena for the source of the voice._

_“UP HERE, GENIUS!!!” shouted the voice, as Arthur, Mordecai and Rigby looked up at the Titantron. . ._

_. . .and saw Ed and Eddy!_

_“You think you’re SOOOO smart, yet you can’t find us?” taunted Eddy. “Double D’s right, you DON’T practice what you preach. And Mordecai and Rigby? You guys haven’t even made your wrestling debut in XCW! Are you slackers really just gonna coast on Arthur’s coattails without even getting into a fight?”_

_“In your dreams, dude!” Mordecai shouted into a microphone. “We’re just waiting for a worthy opponent!”_

_  
“Yeah, man!” Rigby insisted. “We put you in your place last week! We’re more smarter, and more stronger than you!”_

_Eddy just BURST into laughter. “That’s quite some grammar you know there! Did you forget your dictionary at home? I think we can find it for you. . .considering. . .”_

_. . .the camera pulled out. . ._

_“. . .WE’RE ALREADY HERE!!!”_

_. . .REVEALING ED AND EDDY STANDING IN FRONT OF POPS’ HOUSE IN THE PARK!!!_

_“Waaaait a minute. . .” Frylock said, while Mordecai and Rigby looked at each other quizzically, then back at the Titantron._

_“Uhhhhh……dude….what are you doing there?” asked Mordecai, stammering._

_“Yeah, man!” said Rigby. “Double D said you were on a break!”_

_“Oh, you can say we’re on a break, all right. . .” Eddy said, before reaching into his pocket. “But we’ll be on our way. . .if you and Rigby change your minds. . .and accept OUR challenge to a tag team match at Silver Lining!”_

_“Keep dreaming, dude!” rejected Mordecai. “We beat you so senseless last week, it’s not worth doing again!”_

_  
“Yeah! And there’s NOTHING you can do to change our minds!” said Rigby._

_“Suit yourselves. . .oh, Eeeeeed. . .” sing-songed Eddy, as he pulled something out of his pocket. . ._

_“That is me!” Ed said with an oblivious grin. . .until his face fell into a look of fear. . ._

_. . .and saw BROCCOLI in Eddy’s hand!!!_

_“BROCCOLI!!!!” Ed shouted, his eyes practically BUGGING out of his head, before charging forward. . ._

_. . .and SHATTERING through the park’s fountain, with Eddy running after him!_

_“OH MY GOD!!” Frylock shouted. “ED JUST DESTROYED THE PARK’S FOUNTAIN!!!”_

_“This is ridiculous! What the hell is Eddy thinking?” Shake wondered, as Eddy continued chasing Ed around the park. . .while Mordecai and Rigby just watched what transpired on the Titantron in shock!_

_“He’s thinking about hitting the Wild Dudes where it HURTS, Shake!” Frylock answered. “Their boss at the Park is going to be FUMING when he sees this! And even if he’s not. . .Mordecai and Rigby have ONE HELL OF A MESS to clean up later!”_

_Eddy continued chasing Ed around the park until they reached the snack bar, where a certain goat with orange fur stood with his hand against his cheek. . ._

_. . .UNTIL ED STEAMROLLED THROUGH THE SNACK BAR COUNTER, TACKLING THOMAS TO THE GROUND!!!_

_“OOOOOOOOH!!! That looked like it HURT!!!” cringed Frylock, while Ed stumbled up to his feet in a daze. . ._

_. . .and saw a hand holding the stalk of broccoli stick out of the rubble!_

_“BROCCOLI!!!!” Ed screamed, before charging THROUGH the back wall of the snack bar, with Eddy leaping out of the rubble and running behind him._

_“EAT IT UP, ED!!!!!” insisted Eddy, with a grin. “IT’S GOOD FOR YOU!!!”_

_Mordecai looked on in horrified dismay while Rigby was tearing at a top turnbuckle in anger back in the arena!_

_“These two idiots are RELENTLESS!!!” Shake said. “And Mordecai and Rigby can’t do a damn thing about it! THEY’RE HELPLESS!!! These dorks need to stop!”_

_“I don’t think they’re GOING to stop, Shake. . .not until they get what they want, and that’s a match at Silver Lining!” Frylock said. . .as Eddy chased Ed all throughout the park, leaving deep trails of dirt and mud in the grass on their way to Pops’ House!_

_“GET IT AWAY FROM ME, EDDY!!!” Ed screamed, BREAKING down the front door of the house. “KEEP IT AWAY!!!!”_

_“OH, COME ON, ED. . .YOU KNOW YOU WANNA!!!” seethed Eddy. . .who was looking around the commons room of the house while Ed sprinted upstairs._

_“Hmmm…..this could be useful. . .” he said to himself. . ._

_. . .BEFORE PULLING MORDECAI AND RIGBY’S GAMING SYSTEM FROM THE WALL!!!_

_“Oh NO. . .it’s the Wild Dudes’ most prized possession!!! What the hell are they going to do with it???” wondered Shake._

_  
“You tell me, Shake!” replied Frylock. “eBay? A pawn shop??? Whatever they do, it’s gonna stab Mordecai and Rigby in the heart!”_

_“DUDE!!!! STOP!!! PUT THAT BACK!!!! PUT IT BACK RIGHT NOW!!!!” Mordecai pleaded into a microphone, while Rigby fell onto his knees and started PRAYING. . ._

_. . .as Eddy made his way up the stairs of Pops’ House, stuffing the broccoli back into his pants pocket in the process. . .then he climbed out of a window. . ._

_. . .AND STOOD ON THE ROOF OF POPS’ HOUSE, HOLDING THEIR GAMING SYSTEM OVER THE EDGE!!!!”_

_“Yeah, MAN!!! A drop like that is gonna break it!!!” Rigby yelled._

_“Then give US what we want. . .” Eddy said. “. . .FIGHT ME AND ED AT SILVER LINING!!!”_

_Eddy held the old-school gaming system over the edge. . ._

_. . .it slowly started to slide out of his hands. . ._

_. . .until. . ._

_“. . .YOU GOT IT!!! YOU GOT IT, DUDE!!! YOU GOT US AT SILVER LINING!!!!” Mordecai shouted, to cheers of excitement from the crowd. “We’d have to debut in a match at some point. . .and after we do, you’re gonna WISH you never scared us!”_

_“Yeah man. . .” agreed Rigby. “Now put down our gaming system!”_

_Eddy looked at Mordecai and Rigby with a wide grin on his face._  
  
“Ooooooooh. . .wrong choice of words, Rig. . .ED!!! THINK FAST!!!” he said, tossing the gaming system into his arms. . .

_. . .WITH THE STALK OF BROCCOLI ON TOP OF IT!!!_

_  
“OH NO. . .” Shake exclaimed. . ._

_as Ed’s eyes bugged out of his head while he shouted, “BE GONE, GREEN AND EVIL TORMENTOR!!!”. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TOSSED THE GAMING SYSTEM LIKE A FOOTBALL OFF THE ROOF!!!!_

_“OHHHHHHH MY GOD!!!!” screamed Frylock, as the gaming system SHATTERED into a million pieces upon making impact with a sidewalk!!!_

_“They accepted the match, Shake. . .but D-Ed destroyed their gaming system anyway!!!” observed Frylock._

_“I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! THEY GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED, YOU IDIOT DEGENERATES!!!!” yelled Shake. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???”_

_“NO!!!! NO!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” screamed Rigby at the top of his lungs, practically WALLOWING on the mat in agony, too weak to do anything else._

_“WHAT THE H, DUDE!!!!!” Mordecai shouted into his microphone. “WE ACCEPTED YOUR MATCH!!! WHY????”_

_“Oh, YOU accepted OUR challenge. . .but there’s one outstanding request from us to you. . .specifically. . ._

_. . .your FIRST PBS KID, ARTHUR. . .” Eddy said. “You WILL accept Double D’s challenge for your World Television title in two weeks at Silver Lining. . .if not now. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .then when you turn around. . .”_

_Arthur looked on at Eddy in confusion. . .before turning around. . ._

_. . .AND GETTING HIT WITH AN EDDICANRANA FROM DOUBLE D THAT SENT ARTHUR SLIDING OUT OF THE RING!!!!_

_“DOUBLE D WITH AN EDDICANRANA!!!” screamed Frylock. “BAH GAWD, where the hell did he come from???”_

_“I don’t know, but this can’t get anymore heinous!” Shake said with disgust. “These degenerates have gone TOO far!”_

_Double D quickly rolled up to his feet and nailed Rigby with a discus running elbow, before taking out Mordecai with a Northern Lights suplex!!! Mordecai slid out of the ring while Double D pulled Rigby up by the fur on his head. . .and tossed him out of the ring over the top rope, causing him to land HARD on the ringside floor. Hurriedly, Double D then slid out of the ring toward Arthur, who was still slow to get up in a daze. . ._

_. . .and slid him BACK into the ring, then followed him in to lock in the Lebell Lock!!!_

_“Now Double D’s got a triangle choke locked in on the champion!” Shake said. “And these dorks call HIM despicable!”_

_“I’m getting word that he calls that The Ed Lock, Shake!!!” Frylock corrected. “But Ed and Eddy had to incredible lengths to get what they deserve. . .and Double D’s close to getting HIS!”_

_“ACCEPT MY CHALLENGE!!!!” Double D screamed, intensifying the submission maneuver. . ._

_. . .until Arthur began tapping out, and screaming, “OKAY!!!! OKAY!!! I ACCEPT!!! WE’RE ON AT SILVER LINING!!! UNCLE!!! UNCLE!!! UNCLE!!!”_

_“And by God, Double D has a title shot!” Frylock said, as Double D let go of the hold, staring down Mordecai and Rigby, who looked on from the foot of the ramp in anger at Double D, before turning to look at the Titantron._

_“And if you don’t like that. . .WE GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA. . .” Eddy exclaimed. . .before doing the DX crotch chop with Ed on the top of the roof, while Double D did it himself toward Mordecai and Rigby in the ring!_

_“Well, they pushed the envelope, but I can’t say it wasn’t effective!” Frylock declared. “D-Generation Ed hit Mordecai, Rigby AND Arthur where it hurts tonight. . .the Wild Dudes at their own home, and Arthur in the head and neck area, and sure enough, they got matches at Silver Lining out of it!”_

_Arthur staggered toward Mordecai and Rigby and met them at the foot of the ramp, glaring with disgust at Double D._

_“Effective my ass. . .it was uncalled for, is what it was!” Shake said with disgust. “That was the most juvenile and mean-spirited display I’ve ever seen from these dorks! Someone tell them to put a stop to it and grow up. . .and it BETTER be Arthur at Silver Lining. . .”_

_Double D stared down Arthur and the Wild Dudes. . .before standing onto a turnbuckle and raising his arms over his head in celebration with the fans._

_“I wouldn’t be too sure about that, Shake. . .” Frylock said, “. . .because if what we just saw is any indication, and if Double D applies that new submission maneuver to the First PBS Kid. . .we may have a new Television Champion of the World after Silver Lining!”_

Arthur continued to shake his head in annoyance at Double D until the show transitioned back to the backstage area.

 

“Just like that, battle lines were drawn, and Double D will stand toe-to-toe with Arthur Read at Silver Lining with the XCW World Television Championship on the line, while Mordecai and Rigby will make their XCW in-ring debut against Ed and Eddy!” Frylock informed.

 

“And all three of the Eds have bitten off more than they can chew, JUST like Arthur proved before those dorks decimated the Park and Pops’ House!” Shake said. “They’re messing with the WRONG dudes. . .and they’ll get a refresher course on Arthur’s teachings at Silver Lining!”

 

“Speaking of refreshers, two weeks ago, The Mask got one when he made his return to fiction wrestling with a victory against Daffy Duck in a qualifying match for the upcoming Silver Lining ladder match!” Frylock informed. “But he was quick to annoy the Champion of Life, Mario. . .which isn’t THAT hard to do. . .but he annoyed him to the point where he challenged The Mask to a handicap match against him and his brother, Luigi! Not only did The Mask escape, but he also put on a hell of a show the next week, even though the Mario brothers tried putting him through hell themselves. . .”

 

_The show cut back to the arena, where Mario and Luigi charged toward The Mask. . .and took him down with a double clothesline!!! Luigi slid out of the ring while Mario went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .The Mask kicked out!!!_

_“The Mario brothers have been double-teaming the veteran Mask all throughout this match, but Stanley Ipkiss is hanging in there!” Frylock declared while The Mask inched toward the ropes. “Will he find a way back into this thing?”_

_“Fat chance! He’d rather crack a joke than throw a punch!” snapped Shake, as The Mask gripped the middle rope. . .pulled himself up. . ._

_. . .and successfully made it to a standing position! The Mask then turned around to face the Mario brothers, raising fisticuffs up to his face and jumping from side to side, taunting the Mario brothers! Mario and Luigi charged toward The Mask, who slid under them (by doing the splits, of all things), only to shoot back up, grip Mario in a waist-lock and take him down with a back suplex! The Mask rose up to his feet as Luigi charged toward him, only for The Mask to throw him up in the air with a back body drop!!! The Mask turned around to face Mario. . .only to be surprised with an eye rake! The Mask sold his face in pain before Mario rose up to his feet and slugged The Mask in the face with another right hand! Mario then went for a kick to the midsection. . ._

_. . .only for The Mask to catch the kick before it made impact! The Mask then threw Mario’s leg down to the mat, before lifting him up. . ._

_. . .and taking him down with a Shin Breaker!!! The Mask went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 LUIGI BROKE UP THE COUNT!!!_

_“Luigi made the save for him and his brother!” Frylock said._

_The Mask rose up to his feet, selling the middle of his back in pain, until Luigi dropped him with a Jawbreaker! The Other Mario Brother then hit The Mask with a three-punch combination, then a high kick to the chin! The Mask then reeled backward against the ropes behind him until Luigi gripped him by the sides. . ._

_. . .and dropped him with an Atomic Drop. . .but kept his grip on him and lifted him up. . ._

_. . .and slammed him to the mat with a spinning side slam!!! Luigi went for the cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 THE MASK KICKED OUT!!! The Mario brothers couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“A devastating combo from Luigi wasn’t enough to put the crazy man down!” Frylock said. “What’s going to happen next in this handicap matchup?”_

_“The Mario brothers better swarm the idiot and put him away!” snapped Shake. “The odds are in their favor!”_

_Mario and Luigi pulled The Mask up to his feet and drove him into a corner, the two of them mudhole kicking the crap out of the wily veteran. . .until The Mask caught Luigi’s leg and spun it around, causing Luigi’s back to face The Mask. But Mario still went for a kick to The Mask’s midsection. . .but The Mask caught it, dropped it, and took down the Champion of Life with a DDT! The Mask then Irish whipped Mario into the opposite corner before tossing Luigi out of the ring over the ropes. . .then stared down Mario. . ._

_. . .and stomped on the mat?_

_“Wait a minute. . .” Frylock said, as the crowd watched on with anticipation. . .while The Mask stomped on the mat AGAIN. . ._

_“. . .is The Mask going for. . .what I think he’s going for?” wondered Frylock._

_“If he nails THIS. . .there’s no way he’s not a frontrunner for the Silver Lining ladder match!!!” Shake screamed, as The Mask stomped on the mat ONE MORE TIME. . ._

_“. . .the band is TUNED UP. . .” Frylock declared, as Mario rose up to his feet, selling his head. . ._

_. . .while The Mask charged toward the center of the ring. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED MARIO WITH A HARD. . .boot to the shin?_

_“. . .you have GOT to be kidding me.” Shake deadpanned, as Mario sold his shin in pain, fearing a stinger. . .until The Mask nailed him with a spinning roundhouse kick to the head!!! The Mask went for another cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 LUIGI BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A FALLING ELBOW!!!_

_“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO CRACK JOKES, DUMBASS!!!” Shake shouted in The Mask’s direction, while Luigi pulled The Mask up from the cover, putting him in a standing position. “Now whaddaya gonna do???”_

_“He’s an ENTERTAINER, Shake, for God’s sakes!” Frylock insisted. “He knows how to fight and put on a show all at once. . .but now he’s in quite a predicament here. . .”_

_Luigi then tossed The Mask toward Mario, who caught him in his arms. The Champion of Life then kicked him in the midsection. . .lifted him up. . ._

_. . .and took him down with a rolling suplex!!! But Mario didn’t stop there, as he kept his grip onto The Mask, pulling him up, then lifting him high above his shoulders. . .and taking him down with ANOTHER rolling suplex!!! But the Champion of Life was relentless, as he pulled The Mask back up once more. . .lifted him up. . ._

_. . .AND COMPLETED THE 3-UP (Triple Rolling Suplex)!!!_

_“Mario perfects the 3-Up suplex!” Frylock called. “And he may have The Mask out for the count here!!!” Mario went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 THE MASK SOMEHOW KICKED OUT!!! Mario sat up from the cover in disbelief!_

_“NOOOO!!! THE MASK HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” Frylock screamed, as Mario looked down at The Mask, limping toward the corner from the stinger he suffered earlier._

_“That Sweet. . .er. . .SHIN music that hit Mario earlier did more damage than it appeared to. . .” Frylock observed, as Luigi pulled The Mask up to his feet, Irish whipping him toward his brother. . ._

_. . .but The Mask surprised the Champion of Life with a tackle into the corner!!! The Mask then gripped Mario by the waistband. . ._

_. . .started to pull his underwear over his head. . ._

_. . .but Mario put The Mask in a headlock and was able to buy some time with a Russian leg sweep!!! Mario clenched the ropes in front of him, catching his breath and selling his shin in pain while Luigi ran toward The Mask, pulling him up to his feet. . .but The Mask put Luigi in a headlock, then charged toward Mario, putting him in a headlock of his own. . ._

_“Now what’s Stanley going to do?” Shake wondered._

_. . .AND TOOK THEM BOTH DOWN WITH A DOUBLE BULLDOG, WITH MARIO’S HEAD LANDING ON THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE!!!! Luigi rolled onto his back, while Mario rolled out of the ring, selling his head in pain!!!_  
  


_“OOOOOOOOOH!!!!” cringed Frylock. “NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL USING YOUR HEAD!!!”_

_“Can’t blame Mario for rolling out there. . .that bulldog looked like it HURT. . .” Shake winced, while Luigi stumbled up to his feet, turning around to face The Mask. . ._

_. . .who swept his legs out from under him. . ._

_. . .AND BEGAN SPINNING HIM AROUND WITH THE GREEN CYCLONE!!!_

_“Oh no. . .” Frylock foreboded. “Luigi’s going for a ride!!!”_

_The crowd counted aloud as The Mask spun Luigi off the mat, counting aloud to himself, saying, "One. . .MISSISSIPPI! Two. . .MISSISSIPPI! THREE. . .MISSISSIPPI!”. . ._

_  
“I hope Luigi’s got a barf bag with him. . .” Shake foreboded, until_ _The Mask finally made it to TEN. . .Mississippi. . .before throwing Luigi into a corner! The Other Mario Brother just laid in the bottom of the turnbuckle, completely and utterly dazed. . ._

_. . .until The Mask grabbed Luigi by the overalls. . .and climbed up the top rope!!!_

_“And now what’s The Mask doing???” Frylock wondered._

_“Wherever he’s going. . .there’s nowhere to go but DOWN!!!” Shake declared._

_With the fans on their feet, The Mask then reached the top rope on a turnbuckle. . .rested Luigi onto his shoulders. . ._

_. . .and shouted “STELLAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”. . ._

_. . .before leaping off the top rope. . ._

_. . .AND PLANTING LUIGI ONTO THE MAT WITH THE EDGE CITY PLUNGE (Green Bay Plunge)!!!!_

_“THERE’S THE EDGE CITY PLUNGE!!!” Frylock called, as The Mask went for a cover, barely hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .3!!!!_

_“And The Mask has gotten the victory!” Frylock said, while The Mask pumped a fist into the air, shouting “SSSSMOKIN’!!!” as the bell rang!_

_  
**“The winner of this match. . .Stanley Ipkiss. . .THE MAAAAAAASK!!!!”**_

_The referee raised The Mask’s arm in victory after he stood up to his feet, while the crowd erupted into cheers!_

_“Well, the Mario brothers had him outnumbered on more than one occasion, but through fighting like the showman and entertainer that he is, The Mask found a way out of it, gaining the victory and much-needed momentum going into Silver Lining!”_

_Luigi laid motionless, out like a light on the mat while Mario looked up from the ringside floor, selling his head while staring down The Mask with an annoyed and angered glare._

_“He may have won tonight, but from the look on Mario’s face, he’s not out of the woods yet!” Shake declared. “The Champion of Life’s head may have been knocked into next week thanks to that turnbuckle bulldog, but there must be something that Mario can do to finally put this clown in his place!”_

The Mask stood on a top rope with a grin, shooting cooked turkeys into the crowd with a T-shirt cannon until the show transitioned back to the backstage area.

“The Mask, a WCW Original, gained the victory against the Mario brothers in a handicap match. . .” informed Frylock, “. . .meanwhile, another WCW Original, the Original Avenger herself, Wasp, got a refresher course in wrestling when she made her XCW debut, and return to fiction wrestling a few weeks ago, by defeating Shenhua to advance to the semifinals in the number one contendership tournament for the XCW Women’s Championship!” informed Frylock. “But two weeks ago, she had to face Casey Lynch for the right to advance to the finals, and well. . .the result speaks for itself. . .”

 

_The show cut back to the arena, where Casey Lynch and Wasp were down in the center of the ring, both of them struggling to pull themselves up to their feet._

_“What a match this has been so far. . .it’s a classic case of Old School against the New School. . .Wasp and Casey Lynch. . .who will advance to the finals in this number one contenders tournament?” wondered Frylock._

_Casey and Wasp finally made it to a standing position and stepped toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring as Casey slugged Wasp in the face with a right hand, with the crowd yelling, “BOO!!!” in unison with it. Wasp reeled for a bit, but regained her composure and fired back with a right hand of her own, with the crowd chanting “YAY!” in unison with it! Casey and Wasp kept firing back with punch after punch until Wasp caught Casey off-guard with a chop instead! Wasp continued hitting Casey with chop after chop until Casey was backed up against the ropes. Wasp then Irish whipped Casey across the ring. . .waited for her to bounce back. . ._

_. . .BUT GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A HEADBANGER FROM CASEY!!!_  
  
“OOOOOOH that jumping headbutt from the Goddess Of Rock looked like it HURT LIKE HELL!!!!” cringed Frylock, as Casey clenched her head in pain while crawling on top of Wasp for a cover! 1. . .

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 WASP KICKED OUT!!! Casey couldn’t believe it!_

_“How close was THAT???” Frylock shouted. “And Casey’s still reeling!”_

_  
“That’s what you get for using your head!” Shake quipped, while Casey stumbled up to her feet, still selling her head. . ._

_. . .until Wasp took her down with a clothesline! Wasp waited for Casey to rise up to her knees. . .before taking her down with ANOTHER clothesline! Wasp stepped toward a corner, climbing up the top rope while Casey staggered up to her feet. . ._

_. . .and took her back down with a flying crossbody!!! Wasp rolled Casey in for the cover, hooking both legs! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 CASEY KICKED OUT!!!! Wasp rolled off the Goddess Of Rock, pondering what to do next. . .before pulling her up by the arms. . ._

_. . .and locking her in a sleeper hold!!!_

_  
“SLEEPER HOLD!!! Wasp has the sleeper hold locked in!” called Frylock. “With Casey as dazed as she is, Wasp may have the victory in hand here!”_

_Wasp pulled Casey into the center of the ring, wrenching as hard as she could on the sleeper hold, while the referee asked the Goddess of Rock wanted to quit. Casey shook her head no. . .only to slowly start fading. . ._

_. . .as Wasp pushed Casey down to her knees. . .refusing to let up on the hold! The referee raised Casey’s arm up, and dropped it, letting it fall to her side. The referee counted one before raising her arm again! The referee dropped it, letting it fall to Casey’s side again, counting two. . ._

_. . .but Casey rammed an elbow into Wasp’s midsection, showing signs of life!_

_“Casey’s a tough f*ckin’ bitch, Frylock!” Shake swore. “There ain’t NO way she’s going down that easy!”_

_Casey pulled herself with all the strength she had in her legs, thrusting her elbow into Wasp’s ribcage again and again the whole way up. . .until she was able to put Wasp in a headlock. . .and take her down with an inverted leg drop bulldog!!! Casey then ran against the ropes behind her. . .and landed a leg drop across Wasp’s sternum! Casey went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 WASP KICKED OUT!!! Casey punched the mat in frustration!_

_“Casey fought hard to get out of that sleeper hold, but the veteran had enough strength to kick out!!!” Frylock said, as Casey pulled Wasp up to her feet. “But now what does the Goddess of Rock have in mind?”_

_“She’s gotta be going for the Curtain Call here!!! Put this match away!” Shake implored, as Casey Irish whipped Wasp into a corner face-first._

_“Actually Shake, I think she’s calling that the Ultimate Encore now. . .” informed Frylock. “But regardless of that, it’s what’s gonna advance her to the finals if it connects!”_

_Casey rammed Wasp’s face into the top turnbuckle before lifting her up and sitting her on the top rope. Casey then gripped Wasp by the top of her shoulders. . ._

_. . .and lifted Wasp up, resting her on her back. . ._

_. . .or, she WOULD HAVE, if Wasp didn’t have her legs wrapped around the corner pole!_

_“Wasp is keeping her grip on the ring pole, Shake!” Frylock observed. “She knows her surroundings, and how to use them!”_

_Casey seethed with anger under her breath before she climbed up to the top rope, nailing her in the sides with right hand after vicious right hand. . ._

_. . .but the Original Avenger nailed her in the face with a back elbow! Wasp continued hitting Casey with back elbow after back elbow. . .but the Goddess of Rock was unrelenting with right hands to her sides and back. . ._

_. . .until Wasp hit Casey in the face with an emphatic haymaker that sent the Goddess of Rock to fall down to the mat!!!!_

_“WASP KNOCKED CASEY DOWN!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as Wasp stepped up to the top rope, as the fans got up and started cheering!_

_“The fans are on their feet here in St. Canard!” Frylock declared. “Because they know what’s coming from the Original Avenger!”_

_Wasp rose to a standing position. . ._

_. . .sized Casey up. . ._

_. . .leapt off the top rope. . ._

_. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDED A MOONSAULT ONTO CASEY!!!_

_“THE MOONSAULT CONNECTS!!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as the crowd erupted into cheers! Wasp clenched her chest in pain before falling on top of Casey for the cover!!! The referee made the count 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 CASEY KICKED OUT!!!!_

_  
“SHE’S GOT HER---NO!!!! CASEY KICKED OUT!!!” shouted Frylock, as Wasp rose up from the cover, exasperated. “And Wasp is in disbelief!”_

_“Whatever Wasp has to do to win, she better think of it REAL quick. . .” Shake said, as Wasp stood up to her feet. . .pulling Casey up by the arms with her! Wasp then tied up her arms. . ._

_“And she’s about to do just that, Shake!” observed Frylock. “She’s gonna end it all here with the Wasp Sting!!!”_

_. . .turned around. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED CASEY WITH THE WASP STI---NO!!!!_

_Casey countered out of it and turned around before shoving Wasp toward the ropes in front of her! Wasp bounced back toward her. . ._

_. . .and Casey leapt up. . ._

_. . .AND BROUGHT WASP DOWN TO THE CENTER OF THE MAT, LOCKING HER IN THE HAMMER-ON AND PULL-OFF (Cross Armbreaker)!!!_

_“NOOO!!!! CASEY COUNTERED OUT OF IT!!! AND NOW SHE’S GOT THE ORIGINAL AVENGER IN WHAT SHE CALLS THE HAMMER ON AND PULL OFF!!!” screamed Frylock._

_“Now THAT’S a finisher name if I’ve ever heard one!” quipped Shake, as Casey intensified the hold with all the strength she had left! Wasp screamed in agonizing pain, and tried inching toward the ropes! The referee knelt down and asked the Original Avenger if she wanted to quit. All Wasp could do was scream as she tried to worm closer to the bottom rope. . ._

_. . .extended her hand out. . ._

_. . .but had to tap out!_

_"Wasp tapped out! Casey Lynch advances to the finals!" called Frylock, while Casey kept the hold locked in after the bell rang!_

**_“The winner of this match. . .the ‘Goddess of Rock’. . .CASEY LYNCH!!!”_ **

_The referee knelt down and ordered Casey to break the hold, but the Goddess of Rock refused to comply, only INTENSIFYING THE HOLD, as Wasp shrieked in pain!_

_“You won the damn match, Casey! Enough is enough!” Frylock demanded. “This is nothing short of disrespectful to a legend like Wasp!”_

_“She might break her arm with the same force that broke Wasp’s neck all those years ago! I love her tenacity!” Shake said, as the referee literally got into Casey’s FACE, threatening to reverse the decision and disqualify her in order to get her to stop. . ._

_. . .upon which, the Goddess of Rock FINALLY complied, and let go of the Hammer-On and Pull-Off. The referee didn’t even bother to raise her arm in victory after what he just witnessed, but Casey just shrugged her shoulders and yelled toward the crowd, “BRING ON THE FINALS, BABY!!!!”, who booed in response._

_“Somehow, I’m not surprised you would condone such an action. . .but I don’t think Wasp took a liking to that one bit. . .provided of course, that her arm is still intact. . .” Frylock said, as the referee checked on Wasp, asking if she was okay. Sure enough, the Original Avenger sat up, clenching her arm, and stared down Casey Lynch with a glare of disgust as the Goddess of Rock left the ring._

_“Oh come on, Frylock! She looks okay, but she doesn’t look happy. . .well if she didn’t like how the match ended, she needed to fight better!” Shake replied. “Casey Lynch sent the same message to Wasp that she did two weeks ago. . .that she won’t play nice, or play around! And with the finals of this tournament coming up next week, I have a feeling whoever she fights will suffer the same fate!”_

_Casey Lynch backed up the ramp, gloating toward the fans with her arms raised above her head, with the occasional smirk toward Wasp until the show transitioned to a match later in the night, where Yuna and Bloody Mary were down on the mat, both of them struggling to get to their feet._

“And Casey Lynch WOULD find out who she would face in the finals of the number one contenders tournament later on that night, as Yuna and Bloody Mary fought in the second and final semifinal match!” Shake narrated from the backstage area.

“It was BRUTAL at first, because Bloody Mary took Yuna out of the ring and tossed her into almost EVERYTHING on the ringside floor!” added Frylock from the backstage area. “But Yuna’s heart and determination had prevailed up to this point in the match, but would it be enough to win her a trip to the finals? Let’s find out!”

_Yuna clenched her ribs in agonizing pain while inching toward the ropes as the referee’s ten-count reached three! Meanwhile, Bloody Mary was pulling herself up with the ropes on the adjacent side of the ring._

_“Bloody Mary has been dominant throughout this match up, but bless Yuna’s heart, she WILL NOT give up!” Frylock said from the announce table. “She’s hanging in there, that’s for sure!”_

_“Yeah, well, sappy shit like that ain’t gonna earn her a victory; it’s more FIGHTING that she needs to do!” Shake dismissed. “And Bloody Mary’s up already to do exactly that!”_

_Bloody Mary grabbed Yuna by the hair and pulled her up to her feet, then nailed the Cosmos Summoner in the chest with a throat thrust before shoving her into a corner. Bloody Mary then charged toward Yuna, ramming her repeatedly with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Yuna fell into a seated position in the corner. Bloody Mary then grabbed Yuna by the foot and pulled her back into the center of the ring before lifting her knee high off the mat. . ._

_. . .and RAMMED IT BACK AGAINST THE MAT WITH A KNEE SMASH!!! Bloody Mary knelt down and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 YUNA KICKED OUT!!! Bloody Mary couldn’t believe it while the crowd erupted into cheers of surprise!!!_

_“YUNA KICKED OUT!!! Bloody Mary is in disbelief, but the crowd is loving it!” Frylock said._

_“GIVE ME A BREAK!!!” shouted Shake. “Is this summoner a glutton for punishment? What’s wrong with her???”_

_Bloody Mary groaned with anger before pulling Yuna up by the hair. . ._

_. . .but Yuna caught Bloody Mary by surprise with a swift elbow to the face! Bloody Mary reeled backward before Yuna staggered closer to Bloody Mary. . .and punched her between the eyes with a right hand! Yuna then charged toward Bloody Mary with all the speed she had. . .and took her down with an armbreaker!!! Yuna went for a quick cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 BLOODY MARY KICKED OUT!!! Yuna rolled off the cover, exasperated, before stumbling up to her feet._

_“Yuna WILL NOT QUIT. . .not until she’s won this thing and advanced to the finals. . .but what kind of damage has she suffered at the hands of Bloody Mary, and how can she do the same?” Frylock wondered, as Yuna clenched her ribs in pain, waiting for Bloody Mary to rise to her knees._

_“Yuna’s drive will come back to kick her in the ass. . .” Shake said, as Bloody Mary eventually rose to a kneeling position. . ._

_. . .upon which, Yuna charged toward Bloody Mary. . ._

_“. . .not if she kicks Mary’s head off—“ Frylock said, as Yuna went for the Shining Wizard. . ._

_. . .but Bloody Mary was able to duck under the kick! The whiff caused Yuna to reel around, so her back was facing her adversary. Bloody Mary then rose up to her feet. . .clenched Yuna’s arms. . .turned her around. . ._

_. . .and PLANTED HER with the SILVER SIXPENCE!!!_

_“SEE!!! WHAT’D I TELL YA???” Shake gloated. “Yuna’s as good as GONE!”_

_Bloody Mary then went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 YUNA GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!_

_“I like the sound of a Casey-Mary—WHAAAAT????” screamed Shake, as the crowd erupted into more cheers!_

_“MAH GAWD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT???” shouted Frylock, as Bloody Mary stared down Yuna, breathing HEAVILY as if to control her anger. “And Bloody Mary’s not very happy about that. . .”_

_Bloody Mary then pulled Yuna up by the hair once more, before slugging her HARD in the face with a European uppercut that sent her reeling backward. Bloody Mary then grabbed Yuna by the back of her hair once more, then charged toward a nearby corner for a bulldog. . ._

_. . .but Yuna shoved Bloody Mary forward, causing her to break her grip!!! Bloody Mary was left running right for the top rope. . ._

_. . .but caught the ropes on both sides of the turnbuckle before she could make impact. Bloody Mary then turned around to face Yuna—_

_\--who lifted her up, straining the whole way. . ._

_. . .AND SLAMMED BLOODY MARY DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A GUTBUSTER!!!_

_“GUTBUSTER FROM YUNA!!! AND THAT MAY BE ALL YUNA HAS LEFT!!!” Frylock shouted, before Yuna fell on top of Bloody Mary for the cover, 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 BLOODY MARY KICKED OUT!!!! Yuna rolled off the cover and onto the mat, looking up at the lights while trying to catch her breath._

_“How much more does Yuna have to give just to advance to the finals of this tournament???” wondered Frylock. Because she’s been taken around our entire ringside area, her ribs have taken SO much punishment. . .and she’s practically STRAINING just to find an opening!”_

_“You know that song ‘This Is The End’ by The Doors?” asked Shake. “They’ll be playing that here in DUE TIME. . .because Yuna’s fighting herself to DEATH here against this cold, sadistic PSYCHOPATH!!!”_

_Yuna struggled to pull herself up to her feet as she stood in a position as if to summon a creature. . .but she waited for Bloody Mary to stand up!_

_“I think she’s going for the last possible thing that she can do, Shake!” declared Frylock. “She’s going for the Grand Summon!”_

_Bloody Mary eventually staggered up to her feet, pulling herself up with the ropes in front of her. . ._

_. . .then Yuna ran toward her. . ._

_. . .gripped her in a headlock. . ._

_. . .AND PLANTED HER WITH SLICED BREA---NO!!!_

_BLOODY MARY GRIPPED ONTO YUNA’S SIDES AND SLAMMED HER DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A VICIOUS FULL NELSON SLAM!!!!_

_“OOOOOOOOOH!!!! Bloody Mary with a POWERFUL counter!” cringed Frylock. “And THERE was the mistake from Yuna. . .”_

_“And a costly one at THAT. . .” added Shake. “Hate to break it to the fans in the audience, but their darling is on the outs in this tournament. . .it’s been fun while it lasted. . .”_

_Bloody Mary then grabbed a handful of Yuna’s hair and pulled her up SWIFTLY to her feet. . ._

_. . .put her in position for a piledriver. . ._

_. . .and lifted her up. . ._

_. . .BUT YUNA COUNTERED THE POWERBOMB HOLD WITH A HURRICANRANA PIN ATTEMPT!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!! YUNA COUNTERED WITH A HURRICANRANA!!!” yelled Frylock, astonished. “THERE’S A COVER!! SHOULDERS ARE DOWN….”_

_The referee made the count 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .3!!!_

_“WHAAAAT?????” screamed Shake, as the crowd erupted into cheers!_

_“AND IT’S OVER!!! IT’S OVER!!! YUNA WINS!!! YUNA ADVANCES!!!” Frylock screamed, while Yuna abruptly broke the pin as the bell rang!_

**_“The winner of this match. . .’The Cosmos Summoner’. . .YUNA!!!”_ **

_Yuna rolled out of the ring, clenching her ribs in pain as the referee raised her arm in victory, while Bloody Mary rose up to her knees, mouth agape at what just happened!_

_“Bloody Mary went for the Final Vow. . .but Yuna found a way to counter out of it to her advantage!” Frylock informed. “And that resourcefulness and quick thinking gave Yuna the victory, and the right to go to the finals in this number one contenders tournament!”_

_Yuna backed up the ramp, catching her breath and holding her sides. . .while Bloody Mary’s look of shock transitioned to a stoic glare, RIGHT in the eyes of the Cosmos Summoner._

_“NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! I CALL BULLSHIT ON THIS!!!! ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT!!!” yelled Shake. “BLOODY MARY WAS ROBBED!!! HER SHOULDERS WEREN’T DOWN!!! YUNA HAD THE TIGHTS!!! YUNA USED A SPELL!!! SHE WENT THROUGH TOO MUCH PAIN TO BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THIS MATCH!!! HOW THE F*CK DID THIS HAPPEN???”_

_“Bloody Mary looks just like YOU right now, Shake. . .” Frylock observed. “But no matter how angry you get about it, at the end of the day, Yuna found an opening that she needed, she got the three count fair and square, and now will face Casey Lynch next week on Monday Night Massacre with a shot at the XCW Women’s Championship at Silver Lining on the line!”_

_Yuna stood on the entranceway, doing her traditional summoner’s pose while Bloody Mary continued giving her the same blank, yet angry stare from the ring until the show transitioned to the backstage area._

“So, it would be Yuna versus Casey Lynch the next week on the go-home episode of Monday Night Massacre before the Silver Lining pay-per-view.” Informed Frylock. “And no matter what kind of shape she would be in, I was confident that Yuna would put on a solid technical performance, while Casey would bring the brawn—“

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Frylock! What are ya, a kid that ordered 20 hookers for a bachelor party?” snapped Shake. “Tell ‘em about what Tommy Vercetti put me through!”

“I will, Shake. . .” Frylock said, narrowing his eyes. “. . .also, on this 3rd week of July in XCW, Liberty City’s Lucifer, Claude Speed made his return to XCW after losing his XCW World Television Championship to Arthur at Heatwave, but also after winning against The Joker in a Gas Chamber match at Pride and Glory! And his first match back would be against one of his eight opponents in the Silver Lining match, none other than the now self-proclaimed, “Sponge Suplex Machine”, Spongebob Squarepants. The match itself was an exciting affair between one of the shining stars in this industry and a legend. . .but Tommy Vercetti came out to ringside to provide commentary with us, and IMAGINE THIS. . .he and Master Shake got pretty heated on this one. . .”

_The show cut to the ringside floor, where Tommy Vercetti stepped toward the announcer’s table, sitting next to Master Shake._

_“And for this next matchup, we will be joined by none other than the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti!” Frylock said, as Tommy Vercetti put on a set of headphones. “How are you tonight, Tommy?”_

_“Doing well as can be expected, Frylock. . .” replied Tommy. “. . .I’ve got a LOT of interest in this match. . .”_

_“Why’s that, Tommy?” Shake asked. “Do you get some kind of sick pleasure watching Spongebob fail?”_

_“. . .something like that. . .” Tommy said, as Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand._

**_“The following contest. . .is scheduled for ONE fall!”_ **

_The arena became engulfed in blue light as "Sell Your Soul" by Hollywood Undead played. Spongebob stepped onto the stage glaring at the fans as he walked down the ramp to massive boos from the crowd._

_"Introducing first. . .representing XCW. . .from Bikini Bottom. . .he is the self-proclaimed ‘Sponge Suplex Machine’. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"_

_“Spongebob appears to be a man of many nicknames nowadays. . .” Frylock said. “Just last week, he told you, personally, Tommy, that he was ‘The Extreme Sponge’, but now he’s calling himself ‘The Sponge Suplex Machine’! What the hell is he trying to do?”_

_Spongebob stepped into the ring above the second rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, glaring at the fans maliciously._

_“He’s trying desperately to call himself something he’s not!” Tommy replied. “He thought he could call himself extreme just from SURVIVING the Liberty City Street Fight against me at Heatwave. . .and I’m willing to bet that he doesn’t know how to execute a good suplex, either! Just because your T-Bone suplexes hurt, doesn’t mean that you can call yourself a suplex machine. . .Spongebob is just DESPERATE to keep himself relevant.”_

_“That sounds like someone else we know. . .” quipped Shake, to narrowed eyes from Tommy. . .but he paid no mind, and watched Spongebob step off the turnbuckle and look around the arena with the same malicious glare. . ._

_. . .until pyro went off. . ._

_. . .before “No Mercy” by Pharaoh Monche played. . ._

_. . .AND CLAUDE SPEED WALKED ONTO THE STAGE, TO THUNDEROUS CHEERS FROM THE CROWD!!!_

_“And his opponent. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .he is Liberty City’s Lucifer. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”_

_“The fans are on their feet here in St. Canard, and deservedly so for Claude Speed!” Frylock said. “Ever since getting arrested after losing the XCW World Television Championship to Arthur at Heatwave, Claude has still kept himself busy by making it to the finals in WWE: Animated’s tournament to crown the new ECW Animation World Champion, and last Sunday at Pride and Glory, he defeated The Joker in his own Gas Chamber match, effectively ending his feud with the Clown Prince of Crime!”_

_Tommy perked up. “Huh…?”_

_“But now Claude is back in XCW, and now you have to wonder what he’s more focused on; winning the Silver Lining ladder match, or defeating Arthur Read to get his World Television title back!” finished Frylock, while_ _Claude Speed stepped down the ramp with a barbed-wire 2x4 in hand to cheers from the crowd, as well as chants of “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”_

_“If he’s smart, he’d be thinking about Silver Lining!” Shake said. “The XCW World Television title has moved out of his reach, and as much as I don’t wanna see it, Arthur’s going to be IN the ladder match regardless! But no matter what he does, these fans are gonna eat it up. . .LISTEN TO THEM!!! That chant’s gonna haunt me in my dreams. . .”_

_Claude then entered the ring through the second rope and climbed onto the second turnbuckle, raising the Toon Hardcore title belt and the XCW Television Championship belt above his head toward the fans, who were chanting, “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!”_

_“Now, wait a second. . .Claude WON against The Joker. . .?” asked Tommy._

_Shake chuckled. “OF COURSE HE DID!!! Where the hell were you, chain smoking while crying into a beer?”_

_“No, I was trying to win the Toon Hardcore title from Riley Goddamn Freeman, what the hell were you doing?” snapped Tommy._

_“I was doing my JOB. . .and that’s what YOU should do right now, bucko, the match is about to start. . .” Shake said._

_The bell rang and the match began with Claude and Spongebob meeting in the center of the ring, slugging it out with swift right hands to each other’s temples, to cheers from the crowd! The brawl continued until Spongebob surprised Claude with a left hand instead of a right, knocking him back a bit. Spongebob then nailed Claude in the face with a three-punch combination that sent him reeling back-first into the corner, upon which, Spongebob lifted Claude up, turning around. . .and slamming him to the mat with a scoop slam!!! Spongebob went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out!!! Spongebob then pulled Claude up to a standing position by his jacket before lifting him up. . .and dropping him back down with a vertical suplex! Spongebob went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out!!!_

_Spongebob began to pull Claude up by the hair, but Liberty City’s Lucifer slugged Spongebob in the chin with an uppercut!!! Claude then rose to a standing position and hit Spongebob between the eyes with another right hand, before putting Spongebob in a headlock and dropping him with a side headlock takedown! Claude wrenched on Spongebob’s neck for a bit before standing back up, running against the ropes, and landing a falling elbow into Spongebob’s sternum! Claude went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Spongebob kicked out!!! Claude pulled Spongebob up to his feet, and picked him up for a suplex. . .but Spongebob dropped out of it and went for a neckbreaker. . .but Claude countered out of it, putting Spongebob into a wrist-lock before taking him down with an armbreaker! Claude went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Spongebob kicked out!!!_

_“So far, Claude hasn’t lost a step and Spongebob actually has a couple suplexes to his name!” Frylock said. “But what’s Claude gonna do now?”_

_Claude pulled the Sponge Suplex Machine up to his feet and slugged him with a right hand. . ._

_. . .or, he WOULD have, if Spongebob didn’t catch it, and nail him in the head with a right hand of his own! Spongebob then Irish whipped Claude toward the ropes, and Liberty City’s Lucifer fell over the top rope. . .but held onto the middle rope, pulling himself up with it so he could stand on the ring apron. . ._

_. . .until Spongebob clotheslined Claude, knocking him off the ring apron and down to the ringside floor!!! Claude winced in pain, selling his shoulder, until Spongebob leapt off the ring apron and landed a diving elbow onto Claude! Spongebob rolled onto his back and pushed himself up to his feet as the referee began the ten count!_

_“Ah, HERE we go. . .” Tommy said with a grin._

_“Spongebob just made the biggest mistake of his life!” Frylock declared. “Claude’s a master at fighting outside the ring. . .put him near the vicinity of a weapon, and it’s over just like that!”_

_Spongebob pulled Claude up to his feet and slugged him between the eyes with a right hand. Spongebob then picked Claude up for a scoop slam. . .only to drop him face-first onto the barricade with snake eyes!!! Claude fell back down to the ringside floor in a crumbled heap as the referee’s count reached three. Spongebob pulled Claude back up by his collar and pulled him toward a corner pole. Spongebob then gripped the back of Claude’s head. . .pulled it backward. . ._

_. . .and THRUST Claude’s head right into the pole—no!!! Claude was able to grab onto the pole before his head could make impact! Spongebob tried to push onto Claude’s head to no avail. . .until Claude elbowed Spongebob in the side of the head, breaking his grip while the referee’s count reached five! Claude quickly grabbed onto Spongebob’s hand and Irish whipped him toward the adjacent corner. . .and the Sponge Suplex Machine collided into the steel steps with a sickening thud!!! Spongebob screamed in agonizing pain while Claude stepped toward him, pulled him up to his feet, and slid him into the ring under the bottom rope just as the referee’s count reached seven, then slid in after him. Claude then stalked Spongebob as he staggered up to his feet. . .and took him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Claude quickly went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Spongebob kicked out!!! Claude then went for a Rear-Naked Chokehold on the Sponge Suplex Machine. . .but Spongebob elbowed Claude off of him, then staggered up to a standing position before gripping Claude. . .and dropping him with a reverse DDT!!! Spongebob then turned Claude onto his chest. . ._

_. . .and locked him into the Krabby Lock (STF)!!!_

_“Spongebob has added a submission maneuver to his repertoire!” Frylock observed. “Will Claude fight his way out of it???”_

_“Not if Spongebob has anything to say about it!” Shake said. “He’s out to prove he’s still relevant, and a win before the Silver Lining ladder match against an accomplished Claude Speed will do just that!”_

_Spongebob wrenched onto the hold, and Claude screamed in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked Claude if he wanted to quit. Claude shook his head no as Spongebob let out a scream of intensity! Liberty City’s Lucifer inched closer to the ropes, with Spongebob only intensifying the hold more and more! Claude extended his hand out. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .kept his arm raised high in the air. . ._

_. . ._

_. .._

_. . .wormed closer to the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and SUCCESSFULLY made it to the ropes for a rope break!!!. . ._

_. . .but Spongebob kept the hold locked in! The referee shouted for Spongebob to break the hold, but the Sponge Suplex Machine ignored him, only intensifying the hold! The referee then began the five-count, with Spongebob FINALLY breaking the hold once the count reached four._

_“Claude was FINALLY able to get the rope break, while Spongebob FINALLY let go of the Krabby Lock!” Frylock said. “But Liberty City’s Lucifer is still in a rough spot!”_

_Spongebob then pulled Claude by the feet to the center of the ring and went for a cover of his own! 1. . .2. . .CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!! Spongebob couldn’t believe it!!_

_Spongebob pulled Claude up to his feet, and lifted him up for a German suplex. . ._

_“AY! There’s a suplex from the Sponge!” quipped Tommy. “He’s FINALLY living up to his name. . .”_

_. . .until Claude dropped out of it behind him! He quickly ran against the ropes behind him while Spongebob turned around. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN IN THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A SITOUT FACEBUSTER!!!_

_“. . .and his age. . .” continued Tommy, with a chuckle._

_But instead of going for a cover, Claude rolled onto his back, coughing for breath while Spongebob sold his sternum in pain as the referee began the ten count!_

_“Both of these men have rang each other’s bells since the beginning of this match!” Frylock said. “It’s safe to say that whoever gets up first will not only have the upper hand, but will gain the victory and much-needed momentum going into Silver Lining!”_

_“So Spongebob is gonna ?” quipped Shake, before turning to look at Tommy. “Speaking of which, Tommy. . .how does it feel knowing that you and Claude will be in the same ladder match? You two won’t have any targets on each other’s backs, will ya?”_

_“I can’t imagine why we would. . .” Tommy deadpanned, as Claude slowly rolled up to his knees, while Spongebob had to pull himself up with the ropes on another side of the ring. Claude and Spongebob eventually made their way to a standing position, meeting in the center of the ring for another brawl!_

_“Well, do you see Claude getting in another cross-company match any time soon?” wondered Shake. “He pisses people off everywhere he goes, so I figure—“_

_“That’s IRRELEVANT to what’s happening right now.” Tommy interrupted. “Can you PLEASE just do your job and watch the freakin’ match?”_

_“You’re the guest, so WHATEEEEVER you say. . .” Shake quipped._

_Claude hit Spongebob right between the eyes with a right hand, with the crowd yelling, “YAY!!!” in unison with it. Spongebob reeled for a bit, but regained his composure and fired back with a right fist of his own, with the crowd booing in unison with it! Claude and Spongebob kept firing back with right hand after right hand until Spongebob caught Claude off-guard with a VICIOUS slap to the face instead, to massive boos from the crowd!_

_“OOOOOOOOOH you have to figure that Claude did not like that ONE BIT, and neither do these people!” Frylock expressed, as the fans began chanting, “SPONGEBOB SUCKS!!! SPONGEBOB SUCKS!!!”_

_“Yeah, I can SEE that.” Tommy said, DRIPPING with sarcasm, to narrowed eyes from Frylock._

_Back in the ring, Spongebob slapped Claude right across the face again, to more thunderous boos! Spongebob then held Claude closer. . .before taking him down with a belly-to-belly suplex!!! Spongebob went for a cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!!_

_“NO!!! CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!!” Frylock said. “What has to be going through his mind?”_

_“Oh, I can tell ya EXACTLY why, Frylock. . .” predicted Shake, while Spongebob pulled Claude up by the hair. . .but Claude surprised Spongebob with a headbutt!!! Spongebob reeled backwards a bit before running toward Liberty City’s Lucifer. . ._

_. . .only for Claude to lift him up and FLAPJACK HIM INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE BEHIND HIM!!!_

_“OH MY GOD!!! That looked like it hurt!!!” cringed Frylock._

_“. . .because now he’s not picturing Spongebob in the ring with him right now, he’s picturing ARTHUR!!!” continued Shake. “After almost KILLING him at Heatwave, what the hell is gonna happen once he and the World Television Champion see each other across the ring two Sundays from now?”_

_“It’ll be the exact same thing that happens to you if you don’t SHUT THE HELL UP. . .” Tommy threatened, while Claude went for a cover! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT!!! Claude rolled off the cover and rose to his feet, contemplating what to do next._

_“ALL RIGHT, THAT’S IT!!! What the hell is wrong with you, Tommy???” yelled Shake._

_“Shake, PLEASE, just call the match—“ implored Frylock, before he was interrupted._

_“NO!! I wanna get to the bottom of this!” replied Shake. “You’ve been SOOOO uptight the last few weeks, Tommy, and I wanna know WHY!”_

_Claude then turned around to face Spongebob, before backing up against the ropes. . ._

_. . .running forward for the Bicycle Kick. . ._

_. . .but Spongebob spun out of the way!!! Claude quickly turned around to face Spongebob. . .who lifted him onto his shoulders. . ._

_. . .and dropped him with the Tidal Wave!!!_

_“THE TIDAL WAVE CONNECTS!!!” Frylock exclaimed. “SPONGEBOB IS GOING FOR THE COVER, GENTLEMEN!!!.....gentlemen?”_

_“…it’s none of your business…” deflected Tommy._

_“I’d say after ditching your girlfriend AND Space Ghost last week in the middle of a conversation---LIVE ON TELEVISION, I MIGHT ADD---it’s EVERYBODY’S BUSINESS!!!” screamed Shake._

_“SHE’S N—AW, WHAT THE HELL???“ Tommy yelled while Spongebob went for a cover! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!! Spongebob couldn’t believe it!_

_“Spongebob landed his signature move. . .but it wasn’t enough to put Claude away!” Frylock said._

_“And YELLING at this ASSHOLE isn’t enough to get a straight answer outta him!” shouted Shake. “Let me ask you this. . .are you even PROUD of Claude?”_

_“What kind of question is THAT…?” Tommy snapped, before muttering,_ _“…can I go anywhere without being compared to goddamn Claude…?”_

_“What was that, Tommy? Did I touch a nerve?” interrogated Shake._

_“Shake….STOP. CALL THE MATCH.” Frylock demanded, while Spongebob pulled Claude up by the hair. . .then put him in position for a suplex! Spongebob lifted Claude up. . ._

_. . .hooked his leg. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX—NO!!!_

_Claude dropped out of it in front of Spongebob, and hit him in the chest with a throat thrust! Liberty City’s Lucifer ran against the ropes behind him while Spongebob rose up. . ._

_. . .and Claude took Spongebob down with a massive SPEAR!!! Claude went for another cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT!!!_

_“Claude almost had this match won!!!” Frylock said. “What’s he gotta do to keep him down?”_

_“What do I have to do to get the TRUTH out of the Peanut Gallery over here?” Shake snapped. . .until—_

_“HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT I’VE MADE MY OWN MARK IN THIS COMPANY???” Tommy erupted. “I EXIST TOO, YA KNOW!!!”_

_Back in the ring, Claude stood in a corner, taunting for Spongebob to get up, while the crowd chanted, “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!”_

_“The crowd begs to differ on that, Tommy. . .so just KEEP DREAMIN’.” Shake said. . .to an eye twitch from Tommy. . ._

_. . .who simply RIPPED the headphones off his head and storming away from the announcer’s table._

_Claude looked away from Spongebob for a brief second, saw Tommy walking up the ramp to the backstage area, and looked on in confusion. . ._

_. . .but refocused on the match at hand. . .by running toward Spongebob. . ._

_. . .but Spongebob knocked him down with a high knee!!!_

_“OOOOOOH!!! THAT DISTRACTION MAY HAVE COST CLAUDE THE MATCH!!!” Frylock declared, as Spongebob pulled Claude up. . ._

_. . .hooked his leg. . ._

_. . .AND THREW HIM ACROSS THE RING WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!!!_

_“No kidding! What the hell was up with THAT hissy fit? That was UNCALLED for. . .” Shake said, to narrow eyes from Frylock, before Spongebob went for a cover! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.99 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!! Spongebob punched the mat in frustration!_

_“What?...OH, COME ON!!! You can’t POSSIBLY be blaming ME for what just happened—“ Shake defended._

_“You know what? NO. We’re talking about that LATER. . .right now, let’s FOCUS ON THE MATCH…” ordered Frylock, while Spongebob pulled Claude back up by his collar, and put him in a position for a powerbomb!!! Spongebob then held Claude up. . ._

_. . .ran forward for the Spongy Edge. . ._

_. . .but Claude dropped out of it behind him!!! Claude then ran against the ropes in front of him. . .bounced back. . ._

_. . .AND KNOCKED OUT SPONGEBOB WITH THE BICYCLE KICK!!!!_

_“CLAUDE’S BICYCLE KICK CONNECTS!!!” shouted Frylock. “And that’s a move that XCW fans have wanted to see for a LONG time!”_

_Claude fell on top of Spongebob for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .3!!!!_

_“And Claude Speed returns to XCW with a victory!!!” Frylock stated, as Liberty City’s Lucifer stood up while the bell rang!_

**_“The winner of this match. . .’Liberty City’s Lucifer’. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!”_ **

_“Well, I wish I could tell you that it was an easy match for Liberty City’s Lucifer to win, but between Spongebob’s legendary status, and putting up with two nine-year-olds on commentary, I can tell you that it certainly wasn’t!”_

_The referee raised his arm in victory while the crowd cheered for Claude, chanting “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!” and “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!”_

_“You can’t blame me, Frylock!” Shake insisted. “The thug refused to answer questions, he had a punk attitude, he threatened me. . .Tommy’s changed since that barbaric street fight at Heatwave. . .and not for the better!”_

_Claude grabbed his barbed-wire 2x4, which was leaning against a pole, and climbed up a corner turnbuckle, raising it high above his head toward the fans._

_“Well, all I can say is that I hope he gets better in time for Silver Lining,” Frylock said. “Because there’s gonna be seven other men fighting for that briefcase with a shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship in that ladder match, and they’re all foaming at the mouth for it. But I’m willing to bet that the surefire frontrunner to unhook that briefcase from the rafters is right there in the ring at this moment!”_

Claude stood on the top rope, raising his barbed-wire 2x4 high above his head until the show went back to the backstage area.

 

“Claude WOULD eventually confront Tommy about why he stormed away from ringside on the next edition of Monday Night Massacre. . .but that will be covered when we recap that very episode after the break.” Informed Frylock.

 

“If Claude were smart, he would have done it right then and there. . .” muttered Shake. “F*ckin’ asshole. . .”

 

“Well, Tommy had left by that point, so he couldn’t. . .” added Frylock, before turning back to look into the camera. “But staying on topic with week 3. . .the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya, was given this particular week off after what he went through the previous week against Sweet Tooth, and after getting ambushed by Tom Brady after his victory with Matt Ishida at Pride and Glory. But Space Ghost wanted to give Tai a little bit more time off before Silver Lining, so with Sora Takenouchi in the office with him, he called the anonymous chairman himself to figure something out. Needless to say. . .well. . .just see for yourself. . .”

 

_The show transitioned to Space Ghost’s office, where Space Ghost sat at his desk, with Sora Takenouchi sitting in a chair on the other side of it as Space Ghost dialed a number on his cell phone._

_“Here we go. . .” Space Ghost said, putting the phone to his ear, waiting for a bit until he heard something from the other line._

_“Hello. . .is this a bad time?” Space Ghost asked, pausing for the response. “Okay, great. . .listen. . .Tai Kamiya’s wife is here, and she wondered if it was feasible for him to have next week off as well? She doesn’t think that his leg is well enough to—“_

_Suddenly, a LOUD muffled noise came from the other end of the phone, with Sora looking on in concern while Space Ghost remained paused in his tracks._

_“---but it’s no better now than it was a week ago! Did you see Pride and Glory? Brady, Manziel and Tebow undid all the healing after last—“_

_Space Ghost paused. . .his eyes widening with disbelief. “. . .yes, I know, but I would rather have a healthy World Champion going into Silver Lining than NO World Champion. . .”_

_Another loud but muffled noise burst from the other end of the phone, with Space Ghost’s fist clenched hard atop his desk._

_“Listen. . .if you go through with that---“ Space Ghost said, only to be interrupted again by the voice on the other end. “---I….I understand….yes…..thank you for your time…”_

_Space Ghost hung up the phone, dejected, while Sora leaned forward. “What happened, Space Ghost???” she said, concerned._

_Space Ghost turned around with a fearful look on his face. “. . .Tai not only has to be present on the next episode of Monday Night Massacre next week in Alberquerque, New Mexico. . .but he also has a match. . .a six-man tag team match. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .against the Knighthood of Assassins.”_

_Sora gasped while the crowd erupted into screams of shock. “Are---are you SERIOUS??? Why didn’t he give—“_

_“---he said that as the current XCW World Heavyweight Champion, he has the obligation to appear at EVERY televised XCW event,” replied Space Ghost. “He said that if he can walk, then he can FIGHT. . .but this isn’t over, Sora. I’m going to fight this until Tai gets the time off that he deserves, even if he DOES retain after Silver Lining. . .but for now. . .tell Tai the bad news. . .I’m sorry I couldn’t reason with him. . .”_

_“No, no. . .it’s not your fault. . .” Sora assured, leaning back in her chair. “It’s just that. . .who the hell IS our chairman. . .?”_

_Space Ghost and Sora looked on deep in thought until the show transitioned back to the backstage area._

“That’s a question I’d like the answer to, myself.” Frylock said. “The anonymous chairman just wants to run Tai ragged until he drops! What kind of a man is this person???”

“Is our chairman even a MAN???” Shake asked. “He could be an alien, a robot, a Mooninite, a lizard, a sponge, a toaster, an animal. . .he could even be a used POPSICLE STICK!!! Whatever our anonymous chairman is, it’s off its rocker.”

“Another man that’s off his rocker is the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, who, three weeks ago, said that he would give Solid Snake the Hat of Discipline, among other things, for stealing the XCW Hardcore title from him, and robbing him of all the hard work he put into winning the belt in the first place.” Frylock informed. “Well, sure enough, on week three’s episode of Monday Night Massacre, Solid Snake was there, and there WOULD indeed be a form of a confrontation. . .”

_The show transitioned to the backstage area, where Solid Snake and Sweet Tooth were walking down a hallway._

_“Okay, so remind me. . .why don’t you want me to come out to the ring with you tonight for your match against Bugs?” Solid Snake wondered._

_“Remember what Hotsuma commanded. . .” replied Sweet Tooth. “. . .he said that the Knighthood of Assassins, like the Oboro Clan. . .fight with a code. . .and that is to win our singular battles on our own. Our assault in the beginning was one we accomplished TOGETHER. . .but in a one-on-one fight, we must fight alone. . .and leave our adversaries as disfigured as they would be if we were TOGETHER. Fight alone. . .but with the strength and tenacity of the ENTIRE Knighthood. . .and with that, I WILL earn the final entry in the Silver Lining ladder match. . .and leave Bugs in disarray._

_“I understand.” Snake smirked, before turning a corner. “Listen, I’ve gotta grab something from our locker room. . .I’ll meet up with you later.”_

_“Sounds good, brother. . .” Sweet Tooth nodded, as Solid Snake went down a different hallway and entered the Knighthood’s locker room. He shut the door behind him, then stepped up to his locker. . ._

_. . .and realized it was cracked open. . ._

_“What the….?”_

_. . .BUT THEN ROLF BURST OUT OF THE LOCKER AND NAILED SOLID SNAKE IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL!!!_

_“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!” screamed Frylock. “IT’S ROLF!!! THE SON OF A SHEPHERD JUST CAME OUTTA NOWHERE!!!”_

_Rolf stood on the bench in front of the row of lockers wearing a singlet made of. . .hair from an unknown creature. . .and stared down Solid Snake._

_“YOU HAVE DISRESPECTED THE SON OF A SHEPHERD!!!” shouted Rolf, while the referee stepped out of the same locker, trying to shake his leg awake. “YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE AND THIEVERY!!!”_

_Solid Snake rose up to his feet, selling his head. . ._

_. . .BUT THEN ROLF DOVE OFF THE BENCH AND CLOCKED SOLID SNAKE WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!!!_

_“ROLF SMACKED SOLID SNAKE TO THE FLOOR WITH HIS COC!!!” shouted Shake. “HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!!”_

_Frylock could BARELY chuckle under his breath. . .while Rolf went for a cover on the locker room floor, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .3!!!_

_Rolf stood up from the cover, upon which, the referee handed him the Hardcore title belt!_

**_“Congratulations, Rolf, you are the new XCW Hardcore Champion!”_ **

_Rolf accepted the belt, and the referee raised his arm in victory!_

_“All is forgiven. . .for, this plaque of broken and bloodstained jewelry is back around the waist of Rolf, thanks to the luck of Papa’s singlet made from the finest yak hair—“_

_Rolf stopped in his tracks upon hearing a voice from afar._

_“—but there’s no time to talk, yes? NO!! Away from this place, I say!” shouted Rolf, before he and his referee bolted out of the locker room, leaving Solid Snake alone and unconscious!_

_“Rolf is BACK. . .and so is his possession of the XCW Hardcore Championship!” Frylock said._

_“He may be champion now, but he may have just started a war against the Knighthood that he CAN’T afford. . .” foreboded Shake._

Snake continued to lay unconscious on the floor of the locker room until the show transitioned back to the backstage area.

“Man, Solid Snake is of the destructive type. . .while Rolf is the eccentric type, isn’t he?” Shake asked.

“THAT’S an understatement, Shake. . .” replied Frylock. “But another team that’s already in a war with the Knighthood of Assassins is the South Park Four. They were beaten up by their hand at the beginning of XCW’s New Era, and established that they weren’t going to take that lightly, not only by saving Tai Kamiya from getting picked apart yet again, but also by accepting Scorpion and Sub-Zero’s challenge for the XCW Tag Team titles at Silver Lining! On the third week of July’s edition of Monday Night Massacre, Mimi Tachikawa caught up with them to ask how they felt about their upcoming match. . .”

_The show transitioned to an interview area backstage, where Mimi Tachikawa stood with Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh with a microphone in hand._

_“Stan. . .Cartman. . .” Mimi said, “. . .last week, you saved my good friend and fellow DigiDestined Tai Kamiya from another vicious assault from the Knighthood of Assassins. . .and you also accepted Scorpion and Sub-Zero’s challenge for the XCW Tag Team titles at Silver Lining! What are your thoughts about the match?_

_“Oh, we have PLENTY of thoughts about the match, Mimi,” Stan responded. “The first thought being that it WILL be brutal. . .we discovered that early on, when they ambushed us the night after Heatwave. Scorpion and Sub-Zero may be legends, but they’ve had a rocky, love-hate friendship over the years in UWE. Cartman, Kyle, Kenny and I? We’ve been kings in the tag team division since we first came to this industry, and despite what some might think, we have never ONCE thought about betraying one another! Second of all, so many people have come up to us since last week and have said, “Hello there, children! Why’d you save Tai Kamiya? Aren’t you the rebellious type, too?” And we are, no question. . .but you what I told them? I told them. . .that I learned something that day. It doesn’t matter how you align in this business, as long as someone in need is facing the wrath of a familiar foe. After all. . .the enemy of our enemy. . .is our friend.”_

_The crowd cheered as Eric Cartman took the microphone from Stan._

_“Y’know, I’ve heard talk from this Knighthood of Assassins that they demanded honesty, respect and a chance at the titles that they deserve. . .and while they do have their methods of picking men apart, they also have the attitude of a bunch of WHINY, ANGRY HIPPIES!!! You don’t bully your way up the ladder, you don’t bully your way into this industry, and you SURE AS HELL don’t bully your way up this tag team division! Well, I’m guaranteeing Scorpion, Sub-Zero, and the ENTIRE Knighthood will realize what they’ve done by the end of Silver Lining. . .because we are. . .the most decorated wrestling stable in this business. . .WE ARE. . .the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .WE ARE. . .GOING TO FIGHT WITH THE RAGE AND FEROCITY OF A THOUSAND SONS. . .AND WE ARE GOING TO FIGHT THEM ALL SO HARD, THAT THEY WILL HAVE LEARNED TO RESPECT OUR AUTHORITAH!!!”_

_Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman posed with their belts held high until the show transitioned to the backstage area._

_“Confident bunch of kiddos. . .” Shake said. “I like their experience, but the size and power of the Knighthood of Assassins DWARF that. . .”_

“The Knighthood gained the upper hand in their war against XCW on this night. . .because after that promo. . .came the main event of this week, where the Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny and Sweet Tooth, one of the members of the Knighthood of Assassins, would compete for the final spot in the Silver Lining ladder match.” Frylock informed. “With Tai taking a break from wrestling until Pride and Glory, Bugs would have had no one to assist him if Hotsuma and his clan tried to attack him, so Space Ghost banned them from ringside during the match! Bugs and Sweet Tooth would have a fair, one on one fight. . .at least until the end. . .”

 

_The show cut to the arena, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand._

_“The following contest is a Silver Lining ladder match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling main event of the evening!”_

_"What's Up, Doc?" came from the titantron. The crowd cheered as "Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny began to play, then Bugs Bunny posed on the stage!_

_"Introducing first. . .from Burbank, California. . .BUGS BUNNY!"_

_Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle._

_"Paint It Black" by The Rolling Stones played! The crowd erupted into a chorus of boos while Sweet Tooth walked onto the stage, cracking his neck with anticipation for the oncoming fight._

_"And his opponent. . .representing the Knighthood of Assassins. . . .from Blackfield Asylum. . .he is Needles. . .'Sweet Tooth'. . .KAAAAANE!"_

_Sweet Tooth climbed over all three ropes and entered the ring, glaring at all the fans around the arena before staring Bugs down right in the eyes through his mask._

_The bell rang and the match began with Bugs and Sweet Tooth standing in opposite corners. . .then charging into the center of the ring, both of them going for right hands. . .but Sweet Tooth struck first with an uppercut, knocking the Animation Icon down! Sweet Tooth then stomped his foot onto Bugs repeatedly before pulling him up by the ears and Irish whipping him HARD into a corner! Bugs winced in pain, selling his chest until Sweet Tooth charged into the corner, hitting the Animation Icon with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Bugs fell to a seated position in the corner, upon which the Twisted Metal Mascot kneed and mudhole stomped Bugs repeatedly! Sweet Tooth then pulled Bugs into the center of the ring and went for a cover! 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!!! Sweet Tooth pulled Bugs up by the ears, held him closer and tossed him across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex!!! Sweet Tooth went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Bugs kicked out!!!_

_“Good GOD ALMIGHTY Bugs Bunny is getting the HELL beaten out of him in the early goings of this qualifying match!” Frylock said._

_“Did ya EXPECT anything less from ‘em, Frylock?” asked Shake. “These two guys are RELENTLESS in their destruction, and Hotsuma and his clan can’t get enough of it!”_

_Sweet Tooth pulled Bugs up to his feet. . .but the Animation Icon slapped Sweet Tooth in the chest with a swift chop! Sweet Tooth winced in pain, but Bugs wasted NO time in hitting Sweet Tooth in the chest with chop after chop until he was backed up against the ropes._ _Bugs then backed up a bit. . ._

_. . .before dropkicking Sweet Tooth over the ropes, causing the Twisted Metal mascot to topple over the ropes and land on the ringside floor, wincing in pain upon making impact! Sweet Tooth sat up. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR BUGS TO KNOCK HIM BACK DOWN WITH A DIVING MISSILE DROPKICK!!!_

_“MY GOD!!! Bugs went airborne with a dropkick!!!” called Frylock. “After fifty years of wrestling, he’s STILL willing to go high-risk!!!”_

_Bugs slowly pushed himself up to his feet while the referee began the ten-count. The Animation Icon then pulled Sweet Tooth up, and slapped him in the chest with another chop before Irish whipping him toward a nearby ring pole. . ._

_. . .only for Sweet Tooth to counter with an Irish whip of his own, causing Bugs to run into the steel pole face-first with a sickening thud!!!_  
  


_“GEEEEZ!!!!!” cringed Frylock. “You could hear that all the way in the cheap seats!”_

_“And Bugs is in the worst possible place he could be in right now!” added Shake, as Sweet Tooth loomed over Bugs, pulling him up by the ears. . ._

_. . .AND CHUCKED HIM HEAD, FACE AND CHEST-FIRST INTO NEARBY STEEL STEPS!!! Bugs wailed in agonizing pain as the referee’s count reached four, until Sweet Tooth pulled him up ONCE MORE. . .AND FRONT SUPLEXED HIM ONTO THE BARRICADE!!!_

_“God Almighty. . .” called Frylock. “. . .I’m convinced Sweet Tooth doesn’t even WANT to fight in the Silver Lining ladder match. . .he just wants to tear Bugs limb from limb!”_

_Sweet Tooth slid Bugs into the ring under the bottom rope when the referee’s count reached seven. . .but not before ramming his elbow into Bugs’s head and face first! Sweet Tooth then stepped onto the ring apron and climbed over all three ropes. . .then kicked Bugs HARD in the midsection, before running against the ropes. . ._

_. . .and landed a MASSIVE LEG DROP across Bugs’s chest!!! Finally satisfied, Sweet Tooth went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .BUGS KICKED OUT!!! Sweet Tooth shot up from the cover in disbelief!_

_  
“Sweet Tooth’s been dominant throughout this entire matchup, but Bugs isn’t giving up!” Frylock said. “He WILL NOT quit!”_

_Sweet Tooth pulled Bugs up to his feet by the ears and slugged him with a three-punch combination before picking him back up. . ._

_. . .and taking Bugs down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!!! Sweet Tooth went for one more cover 1. . .2. . ._

_. . .2.5 BUGS KICKED OUT!!!_

_Sweet Tooth punched the mat with frustration before kneeling next to Bugs. . .and locking him in a dragon sleeper!!!_

_  
“What’s going on inside the mind of Sweet Tooth?” asked Frylock. “If he can’t beat him senseless, he’ll CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF HIM!!!”_

_Bugs coughed and wheezed in pain as he squirmed and writhed for a way out of the hold, but to no avail! The referee knelt down and asked Bugs if he wanted to quit. Bugs slowly shook his head no as he tried to elbow out of it. . .but Sweet Tooth only wrenched HARDER on the dragon sleeper!!!_

_“Bugs has had a relentless fighting spirit in his fifty-plus year wrestling career. . .” Shake said. “But THIS. . .it’s just HARD watching him fade. . .”_

_The fans in the crowd began chanting, “LET’S GO, BUGS!!! LET’S GO BUGS!!!” . . ._

_. . .but_ _Bugs’s body went limp. . .the referee raised his arm up, and dropped it, letting it fall to his side, upon which, he counted one. The referee then raised his arm again. . .then dropped it, letting it fall to Bugs’s side again, counting two. The referee raised Bugs’s arm once more. . ._

_. . .dropped it, letting it fall. . ._

_. . .and counted three. . ._

_. . .or, he WOULD HAVE, IF BUGS’S ARM DIDN’T SHOOT BACK UP!_

_“NOOO!!!! HE’S NOT OUT!!! BUGS HAS LIFE!!! BUGS HAS LIFE!!!” Frylock screamed, as Sweet Tooth kept the dragon sleeper locked in. . .but Bugs slugged Sweet Tooth with a right hand to his temple!!! Sweet Tooth pulled Bugs up to a standing position with the hold still locked him. . .but Bugs didn’t let up. . .hitting Sweet Tooth in the side of the head with ANOTHER right hand!!! Bugs punched the Twisted Metal mascot once more. . ._

_. . .and the third time was the charm, because it FINALLY broke the hold!!!_

_“BUGS IS FREE!!! AND HE’S FIGHTING BACK!!!” called Frylock. “SOMEHOW, IN SOME WAY, BUGS BUNNY IS FIGHTING BACK!!!”_

_Bugs turned around to face Sweet Tooth. . .and taunted for him to come get some! Sweet Tooth charged toward Bugs, going for a tie-up. . .but Bugs leapt forward and connected with a high knee!!! Sweet Tooth reeled backward into a nearby corner and bounced out of it. . .upon which, Bugs put Sweet Tooth in a headlock. . .and dropped him with a swinging neckbreaker!!! Bugs went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT!!!_

_Bugs pulled Sweet Tooth up to a standing position, only for Sweet Tooth to power out of it and shove Bugs toward the ropes. . ._

_. . .but on the bounceback, Bugs leapt up. . .and planted Sweet Tooth down with a Tornado DDT!!!! Bugs then rose up to a standing position, taking Sweet Tooth up with him, and draped his arm over his shoulder. . .lifting him up with all his might. . ._

_. . .and successfully planting the Twisted Metal mascot with a Vertical Suplex!!!_

_  
“THE VERTICAL SUPLEX CONNECTS!!! IS BUGS GOING TO SILVER LINING???” shouted Frylock, as Bugs draped his arm over Sweet Tooth for a cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT!!!_

_  
“NOOOO!!! SWEET TOOTH STILL GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!! AND BUGS LOOKS WINDED!!!” Frylock declared, as Bugs slowly turned onto his chest, struggling to push himself up to his feet, gasping for breath._

_“Sweet Tooth ain’t Garfield, but he’s a BIIIIG man in his own right. . .” Shake said. “. . .that vertical suplex took a lot out of the Animation Icon! How will he recover???”_

_“The same way he always has, Shake! With determination and will power!” replied Frylock. “This is about more than just going to the Silver Lining ladder match for Bugs! It’s about standing up for Tai, for XCW, and putting the Knighthood in their place!”_

_Bugs crawled toward the ropes, pulling himself up for dear life, while Sweet Tooth pulled himself up with the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. Both men turned around and stepped to the center of the ring. . .upon which, Bugs ducked. . .and took down Sweet Tooth with a drop toe hold!!! With the Twisted Metal mascot down, Bugs staggered toward the corner turnbuckle behind him. . .and climbed up to the top rope!_

_“Bugs went airborne earlier this match. . .” Frylock said. “Will THIS be the move that puts Sweet Tooth away????”_

_Bugs stood on the top rope. . .and waited for Sweet Tooth to get up and turn around. . ._

_. . .before leaping off the top rope. . ._

_. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDING A DIVING SPEAR!!!_

_“OH MY GOD!!! DIVING SPEAR!!! BUGS TOOK DOWN NEEDLES KANE WITH A DIVING SPEAR!!!” Frylock yelled unintelligibly, while Bugs went for a cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT!!! Bugs rolled off of the cover, exasperated!!_

_“How much more does Bugs have left??? How much more can he possibly do to Sweet Tooth???” wondered Frylock, as the referee began the ten-count!!!_

_“Bugs’s comeback has been remarkable, but it might be all for naught if Sweet Tooth’s the first man up!” yelled Shake, as Sweet Tooth was the first to get up to his knees, while Bugs remained on his back, looking up at the lights. Sweet Tooth eventually rose up to his feet. . .pulled him up by the ears. . ._

_. . .THEN GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT!!!_

_“Oh no. . .Sweet Tooth is about to take Bugs for a ride. . .” foreboded Frylock._

_“Well. . .it WAS all for naught. . .” declared Shake, as Sweet Tooth pulled Bugs up. . ._

_. . .BUT BUGS CAUGHT SWEET TOOTH OFF-GUARD WITH A KICK TO THE FACE!!! Sweet Tooth sold the hit, dropping Bugs out of his grasp!!!_  
  


_“NO!!! THE ANIMATION ICON FOUND A WAY OUT OF IT!!!” shouted Frylock, as Bugs waited for Sweet Tooth to stumble toward him. . ._

_. . .BEFORE CONNECTING WITH THE KARATE KICK!!!_

_“KARATE KICK!!! KARATE KICK!!! BAH GAWD, IT’S GOTTA BE OVER!!!!” Frylock yelled, as Bugs fell onto Sweet Tooth for the cover!!! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“OH MY GOD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT????” yelled Frylock, before Bugs punched the mat with frustration as he rolled off of the cover. . .then slowly staggered while he pushed himself up to his feet, wavering a bit as he stood up. . .while Sweet Tooth pulled onto the ropes with one hand, stumbling up to a standing position himself. Sweet Tooth turned around. . ._

_. . .AND WAS IMMEDIATELY MET WITH A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION FROM BUGS, THEN PUT INTO A POWERBOMB POSITION!!!_

_“Oh my God. . .OH MY GOD!!!” Frylock exclaimed. “If nothing else in Bugs’s repertoire could put away Sweet Tooth, slamming him down with this sure will!!!”_

_“Does he have the strength left???” Shake asked, as Bugs raised a fist above his head. . ._

_. . .before lifting Sweet Tooth up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and just HAD to let him go, his weight CRUMBLING over him. . ._

_“. . .well, that answers THAT. . .” Shake said, as Bugs remained kneeling, catching his breath. . ._

_“After the beating he’s taken, all the energy he’s used, and all the fight he’s put up. . .Bugs just didn’t have enough left to put him away. . .”_

_. . .until Sweet Tooth grabbed him by the throat. . ._

_. . .lifted him off the mat. . .and HIGH above his head. . ._

_. . .AND PLANTED HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!!_

_“. . .but Sweet Tooth sure did!” Frylock finished. “What a Chokeslam!”_

_“That did it. . .” predicted Shake, as Sweet Tooth went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .3!!!_

_“And it’s over. . .the Knighthood of Assassins has one of their own in the Silver Lining ladder match. . .” Frylock said, before the bell rang, and while Sweet Tooth rose up to his feet._

_“The winner of this match. . .Needles ‘Sweet Tooth’. . .KAAAAAAAAANE!!!!”_

_“It was a valiant effort from Bugs. . .but it wasn’t enough, because the destructive force and power of Sweet Tooth was just too much—“ Frylock said while the referee raised Sweet Tooth’s arm in victory. . ._

_. . .BEFORE HE WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A CHOKESLAM HIMSELF!!!!_

_“Now WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???” screamed Frylock, as Sweet Tooth looked down at Bugs. . .and knelt down before beating him in the face with BRUTAL mounted punches!!!_

_“WINNING THE MATCH WASN’T ENOUGH FOR MISTER KANE!” Shake yelled. “He wants to render Bugs USELESS!!! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!!!”_

_Sweet Tooth continued to nail Bugs with punch after punch. . ._

_. . .until Bugs finally CAUGHT one of them. . ._

_. . .and KNEED him in the midsection!!! Sweet Tooth rolled off of Bugs, selling the pain, while the Animation Icon slowly rose up to his feet, pulling Sweet Tooth up. . .only to get an uppercut for his troubles!!! The two of them kept brawling in the ring until. . ._

_“. . .WAIT A MINUTE!!!! IS THAT DAFFY DUCK???” Frylock screamed. . ._

_. . .upon seeing DAFFY DUCK stormed down to the ring, with a steel chair in hand!!!_

_  
“IT IS!!! Daffy Duck’s here! His XCW ally is coming to the aid of his fellow Looney Tune!!!” Shake cheered, as Daffy Duck slid into the ring under the bottom rope._

_“GET ‘IM, DAFFY!!!” called Frylock. “Show 'im that when you mess with one Looney Tune, you mess with all the Looney Tunes!”_

_Daffy raised the chair. . ._

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_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED BUGS IN THE HEAD WITH THE STEEL CHAIR, BUSTING HIM WIDE OPEN!!!!!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!!!” yelled Frylock. “What……..what……..”_

_“WHAT THE HELL JUST F*CKING HAPPENED?????” cried Shake._

_THE CROWD ERUPTED INTO GASPS OF DISBELIEF AS DAFFY STARED DOWN BUGS WITH THE MOST MALICIOUS OF STARES…._

_…..WHILE HAMMERING AWAY AT BUGS’S PRONE BODY WITH THE CHAIR OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!!_

_“I DON’T BELIEVE THIS. . .I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!!!!!” shouted Frylock. “I THOUGHT THE TWO OF THEM BURIED THE HATCHET LONG AGO!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE???”_

_“THIS IS F*CKING HEINOUS, FRYLOCK!!!! WHY IS HE DOING THIS????” screamed Shake, while Daffy pulled Bugs up to his feet. . .and looked over at Sweet Tooth. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .who NODDED in his direction before leaving the ring!_

_“Is---did he…..NEEDLES ‘SWEET TOOTH’ KANE JUST ACKNOWLEDGED DAFFY!!!!” Frylock yelled. “WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN???”_

_“HE—HE CAN’T BE……HE SHOULDN’T BE. . .” Shake denied. . .while Daffy tied up Bugs’s arms. . ._

_. . .turned him around. . ._

_.. . .AND DROPPED HIM ON THE CHAIR WITH THE KILLSWITCH!!!!!_

_  
“GOOD GOD THAT KNOCKED BUGS OUT COLD!!!!” Frylock screamed. “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS???”_

_Daffy stared angrily at Bugs, pushing him toward the apron with his foot, taunting him in the ring. . .until he turned around. . ._

_. . .and saw HOTSUMA striding down the ramp, to MASSIVE boos from the crowd._

_“Here comes Hotsuma. . .what the HELL could he possibly want???” shouted Shake._

_“Oh no. . .” foreboded Frylock. . . “Don’t tell me. . .”_

_Hotsuma stepped onto the ring apron in front of the ramp, climbing over all three ropes. He then stared down Daffy Duck, who was still standing in front of him in the center of the ring. . .before clenching the staff of Akujiki. . ._

_. . .and unsheathing it?_

_“What. . .what the hell is going on here?” wondered Shake, as Daffy knelt down. . ._

_. . .AND HOTSUMA TAPPED THE FLAT SIDE OF AKUJIKI ONTO DAFFY’S SHOULDERS, KNIGHTING HIM!!!_

_“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!” Frylock screamed, as the crowd just ROARED with boos! “FICTION WRESTLING’S FIRST-EVER HEEL HAS JUST BEEN KNIGHTED INTO THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS!!!!”_

_“If the odds weren’t stacked against Tai BEFORE last week. . .they are NOW. . .” Shake declared, as Hotsuma pulled Daffy up to his feet, raising his arm in celebration, to MORE boos from the crowd! “Why the hell did he DO IT???”_

_“I would like to know that as well, Shake. . .but Hotsuma has a World title shot. . .Scorpion and Sub-Zero are fighting for the Tag titles. . .SWEET TOOTH is now in the Silver Lining ladder match. . .and now DAFFY DUCK IS ONE OF THEM.” Frylock said. “WHAT ELSE IS GONNA HAPPEN BEFORE SILVER LINING???”_

Hotsuma raised Akujiki high above his head with his other hand, keeping Daffy’s arm raised in the other while the crowd just NEVER let up with their boos as the show transitioned back to the backstage area.

 

“So, Daffy Duck assaulted Bugs Bunny, upon which, Hotsuma knighted him into the Knighthood of Assassins.” Frylock informed. “Why did he do it, and what is his role among them? Find out all that and more when we come back to breakdown the go-home episode of Monday Night Massacre before tomorrow’s Silver Lining pay-per-view. . .RIGHT AFTER THIS!”

 

Frylock and Shake sat in the interview area backstage, looking into the camera until the show faded to a commercial break.

The video package began with a shot from an introductory promo of the South Park Four, where Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick stood in the middle of the ring, with Kyle holding up four fingers like the Four Horsemen symbol as Cartman laughed with intensity.

 

Early screamed, "THE SOUTH PARK FOUR ARE COMING TO XCW!", until the package faded to a shot from XCW Endgame, where Stan, Kyle and Cartman posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising their newly-won title belts high. . .

 

"IT'S OVER! WE'VE GOT NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!" Early shouted, until the package faded to a shot from XCW Heatwave, where Stan Marsh unhooked the tag title belts from the ceiling while on a ladder.

“. . .AND STILL. . .THE XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. . .ERIC CARTMAN AND STAN MARSH. . .” shouted the ring announcer. . .until static began to cut sporadically into the image before blanketing the image completely.

Suddenly. . .

. . .the image cut to a wide shot of a junkyard, with derailed empty train cars covered with graffiti on the left and right side of the frame, with the camera slowly zooming toward a wrecked cockpit of a plane and the detached back wing of another plane in front of it, while the sound of a chainsaw running and being revved up can be heard.

“The ending is nearer than you think, and it is already written. . .” said a gravelly male voice. “. . .all that we have left to choose is the correct moment to begin.”

The chainsaw running grew louder and louder in volume along with the sound of a man SCREAMING. . .until the package cut to black, with a singular word appearing on screen. . .

**INDIA.**

**_Hey fans! Sorry it’s been so long since I last updated. But you know me, when duty calls, duty calls. But business seems to be starting to slow down, so I’ll have time to write some more. The next chapter will come soon, until then, READ, REACT AND REVIEW!!!!_ **

****


	45. XCW Massacre: July Week 4 Showcap

**No time for talk! Here’s the newest chapter! I only own my championships.**

 

As XCW Rewind returned from break, Frylock and Master Shake sat on barstools next to each other in front of a giant HD television inside an interview area backstage.

 

“Welcome back from the break!” Frylock announced. “Earlier, we recapped what happened on last week’s episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre, now Shake and I will detail what happened in Alberquerque, New Mexico during the go-home episode of the show before tomorrow night’s Silver Lining pay-per-view!”

 

“By ‘Shake and I’, you meant just you, right?” Shake asked, leaning back in his seat and drinking tequila out of a highball glass with a crazy straw.

 

Frylock narrowed his eyes before looking into the camera. “NOW. . .we will start right where the episode itself began. . .with Hotsuma in tow, the Knighthood’s newest Assassin, Daffy Duck, came out to the ring to explain why he assaulted Bugs Bunny, and joined the Knighthood of Assassins. Bugs Bunny was not in Alberquerque for this episode, but SOMEONE had more than a few choice words for Daffy, Hotsuma, and the Knighthood. . .

 

_The show cut to the ring, where Daffy Duck and Hotsuma stood in the center of the ring, both of them with microphones in hand as the arena was FLOODED with boos._

_“Well. . .here we are again. . .” Hotsuma said into his microphone. “It wasn’t but two weeks ago, when I stood in the center of this ring. . .heard a large amount of hostility in my direction. . .and I ultimately explained my motives for forming the Knighthood of Assassins. . .and ambushing your beloved Bugs Bunny. . .and the XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .Tai Kamiya.”_

_Hotsuma paused before the crowd erupted into boos, refusing to let up until Hotsuma put the microphone up to his mouth again._

_“And flash forward to tonight. . .I’m standing in the center of this ring. . .and I hear the same hostility. . .only THIS time. . .we are six days away from Silver Lining, the night that the Knighthood of Assassins will emerge from. . .with all but ONE of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling’s heavyweight championships. . .and THIS time, tonight. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .I’m not alone.”_

_The camera tilted down to Daffy, who was standing next to Hotsuma with a scowl on his face._

_“And instead of hearing ME explain why I knighted this man. . .the legend, Daffy Duck, into the Knighthood of Assassins. . .you will hear it from the Knighthood’s new strategist himself. . .”_

_Hotsuma then gave Daffy the microphone, as the fans’ boos only grew LOUDER._

_“Oooooof course, if there’s one reaction I EVER get, it’s a chorus of BOOS. . .I’ve heard ‘em all my life, and throughout my career. . .I heard ‘em even when I was doing commentary with the dang BUNNY in WWE’s animated division. . .the only time they ever stopped was when Bugs and I ‘buried the hatchet’ in Universal Character Association. . ._

_. . .and then I came to XCW. I joined Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling because like many others, Space Ghost and the anonymous chairman told me that they believed I had more gas in the proverbial tank. . .and then they told me someone close to me had already signed with them. . .my long-time rival turned friend at the time. . .BUGS BUNNY. . .”_

_The crowd cheered upon hearing Bugs’ name dropped until Daffy spoke again._

_“. . .and then I decided to recharge my batteries, return to fiction wrestling, and join this company because if Bugs had more to prove. . .then I do, too._ _We entered the company as allies, and I stood up for him when he fought the Super Mario Syndicate. . .when he held the World Television title. . .when he fought over and over and over again for the World title. . .when he walked out to a standing ovation night in and night out. . ._

_. . .meanwhile I heard crickets chirp. And when you people did cheer for me, you were too stupid to know how to feel about it! Meanwhile, XCW management was too stupid to know what to do with me. . .so instead of fighting the good fight against the Mario brothers WITH Bugs. . .I'm losing against monsters like Garfield. . .and clowns like The Mask...but most weeks...I didn't fight at all. And you know what I thought about THAT???. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .it was DETHPICABLE. . ._

_. . ._ BECAUSE I AM THE FIRST EVER UCA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! A FORMER NWA INK CHAMPION!!! THE FIRST EVER TOON WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION THAT YOU PEOPLE LOVED TO HATE!!! I DESERVE AS MUCH OF AN OPPORTUNITY AS YOUR BELOVED RABBIT!!! But I never got 'em, and never would. . .unless I joined the Knighthood. . .and DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT! So, once Hotsuma came to me a week after he lead the assault on Bugs and his NEW best friend, Tai Kamiya. . .and MINUTES after he explained his cause. . .there was NO way I could refuse his offer. . .because we share the same affliction. . .and in the Knighthood of Assassins, we will CURE that affliction this Sunday!!! As a member of the Knighthood. . .I will work alongside Hotsuma. . .as the Knighthood's official Strategist. I will draw up our courses of action on our path to the takeover of this company. . .I will assure that EVERYONE in this universe knows about us. . .but most of all. . .I will will make sure NOBODY gets in Hotsumas path to winning the World Heavyweight Championship at Silver Lining!”

 

Daffy scowled at the crowd, who erupted with boos, while handing the microphone back to Hotsuma.

 

_“Well put, Daffy. . .VERY well put. . .but allow me to add to it. . .” Hotsuma said. “. . .because someone with a career as prestigious as yours....is worth rewarding a few perks. First. . .as the Knighthood’s Strategist. . .you are EXEMPT from the Knighthood's code of combat. . .you will speak for all of us when none of us can. . .and as your first official act as the Knighthood Strategist. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .YOU WILL BE IN MY CORNER AT SILVER LINING!!!”_

 

_“WHAT???” shouted Shake, while the crowd flooded the arena with MORE boos for the pair, until Hotsuma started to speak once more, glaring at the crowd._

_  
“_ _With this Union. . .the Knighthood of Assassins has only grown stronger. . .and the timing couldn't be better. . .because this Sunday. . .we will be poised to claim the XCW Tag Team Championships. . .he Silver Lining briefcase. . .and the World Heavyweight title. . .and there's absolutely nothing---_

 

_Suddenly, Hotsuma was cut off—_

_\--BY “This Fire Burns” BY KILL SWITCH ENGAGE!!!! The crowd exploded into cheers. . ._

_. . .as TAI KAMIYA stepped onto the stage, and down the ramp!!!_

_“And here comes Tai Kamiya!” Frylock said. “If I were him, I would NOT be happy about this development one bit!!!”_

_Tai Kamiya climbed onto the ring apron with the World Heavyweight title belt around his waist, a microphone in hand, and a scowl on his face._

_  
“He sure doesn’t look like it, that’s for DAMN sure.” Shake stated. “But I don’t care if he’s had a week-long break, or a YEAR-LONG break, he better know what he’s doing. . .or else he’ll risk injuring his leg even FURTHER. . .and with the anonymous chairman refusing to give him a break to rest, that’s the last thing any of us wants to see!”_

_Tai stepped right into Hotsuma’s face and put the microphone up to his mouth._

_“THERE IS NO!!! DAMN!!! WAY!!! NO DAMN WAY THAT I’M GOING TO STAND FOR THIS!!!” Tai shouted. “Daffy. . .I should’ve seen your betrayal of Bugs coming, but NOT for it to lead to you joining the Knighthood! What you did was INEXCUSABLE. . .and if I were healthy enough last week, I would have been there to keep it from happening! But your clan won’t expand any further, Hotsuma. . .and I want to even the odds before they get even worse. So, if YOU’RE going to have Daffy in your corner this Sunday for the main event of Silver Lining. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .THEN I WANT BUGS IN MINE!!!”_

_The crowd erupted with cheers upon hearing this development, while Daffy only stood with his arms crossed, and Hotsuma’s glare never left Tai’s eyes._

_“Thanks to YOU, Daffy, BUGS has more of a stake in this match. . .and he knows EVERYTHING about you. . .your fighting style. . .your dirty tactics. . .and if you’re exempt from the Knighthood’s code as Hotsuma claims. . .you WILL find a way to get yourself involved in the match. . .and I can’t imagine anyone MORE fitting to put you in your place than the Animation Icon! SO WHAT DO YOU SAY???”_

_Daffy eyes were lowered with impatience until Tai finished speaking. “…..you know something, Tai. . .? I AGREE to that! And you wanna know why? Because right now. . .Bugs is as broken as your right knee. Sweet Tooth beat him until he couldn’t fight anymore. . .his age is catching up to ‘im, the old sucker. After what HE went through for the first seven months of this company’s existence. . .while I SUFFERED since episode one. . .I’d LOVE to assault him again. I’d even do it again tonight. . .but the darn rabbit wasn’t well enough to show up! Can you believe it, Hotsuma??? He FINALLY took a left turn at Alberquerque. . .on the way to the HOSPITAL!!! HAHAHAHA!!! HOO HOOO!!! HOO HOO HOOOO HOOOO!!!!”_

_  
Daffy cackled while Hotsuma chuckled under his visor. “Now THAT’S funny. . .about as funny as YOUR current suffering, Kamiya. . .you have a broken rabbit in your corner this Sunday when you defend your World title at Silver Lining. . .AND the anonymous chairman is refusing to give you a break. . .needless to say. . .I’m going to ENJOY ripping that leg out of your socket---“_

_“---NOT SO FAST, HOTSUMA!!!” someone exclaimed from the Titantron, to a massive pop from the crowd! Hotsuma, Daffy, and Tai turned to look up at the Titantron. . ._

_. . .and saw SPACE GHOST sitting at the desk in his office!_

_“Greetings, Tai, Daffy. . .” Space Ghost said. “. . .not only am I here to stop this madness before it goes any further than it will later tonight. . .but allow me to CORRECT your statement, Hotsuma. . .over the course of the week, I spoke with the anonymous chairman on MORE than one occasion. . .and as of last night, I can assure you. . .that the chairman HAS agreed to give you a MONTH-LONG break from competition. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .IF and ONLY IF. . .you can defeat Hotsuma this Sunday.”_

_  
The crowd erupted into gasps of shock and positive surprise while Tai looked up at the Titantron with a confident smirk as Space Ghost continued._

_“He believes that you will have EARNED an even longer rest if you can pull off a hard-fought victory against your opponent at Silver Lining. . .as well as a victory against Hotsuma, Scorpion, and Daffy Duck later tonight. . .with Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman as your tag team partners.”_

_The crowd popped upon hearing Stan and Cartman’s names mentioned, before Space Ghost started to speak again. “Given your week off last week, I STILL HAVE to ask. . .are you still feeling up for the task at hand?”_

_Tai nodded with his trademark lopsided but confident grin. “I sure am, Space Ghost. . .”_

_The crowd popped again as Tai turned around to face Hotsuma and Daffy Duck. “. . .I SURE am. . .”_

Tai dropped the microphone onto the mat as he and Hotsuma continued staring each other down until the show transitioned back to the backstage area.

 

“The odds may still be against Tai at Silver Lining given the state of his knee, but he’ll at least have someone in his corner for the main event at Silver Lining!” Frylock said. “With Bugs at ringside, he’ll keep Daffy from trying anything funny!”

 

“Yeah, and after last week, he’s almost as broken as Tai!” added Shake. “I don’t know what the Crestbearer of Courage is thinking. . .does he even WANT to be World Heavyweight Champion after Silver Lining???”

 

“He has faith that his friend will be healthy and eager to keep an eye on Daffy and the Knighthood of Assassins as Tai’s personal enforcer!” Frylock replied. “And I’m confident he will. . .but right after that confrontation, two other members of the Knighthood, Solid Snake and Sub-Zero, squared off against Ed and the new XCW Hardcore Champion, Rolf, of D-Generation Ed in a tag team matchup! Snake wanted nothing more than to get revenge on the Son of a Shepherd after ambushing him the week before, and there was plenty of it to go around in what would be a hard-fought and competitive tag team matchup between two of the brightest stables in XCW. . .until another team couldn’t mind its own business. . .

 

_The show transitioned back to the ring, where Rolf stood in the center of the ring, sizing up Solid Snake for a tie-up._

_“And the Son of a Shepherd looking to gain the upper hand against Solid Snake!” Frylock declared, as Rolf lifted Solid Snake up. . ._

_. . .and dropped him with an Inverted Atomic Drop!!! Solid Snake reeled backward in pain until he stumbled toward Rolf. . .and surprised him with a knee to the gut, then took him down with a Northern Lights suplex pin attempt!!! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .ROLF KICKED OUT!!!_

_  
“Rolf didn’t see that counter coming!” Frylock said. “But he managed to kick out!”_

_Solid Snake pulled Rolf up by the hair, then slugged him with an uppercut before hitting him with a three-punch combination! Solid Snake then nailed him in the chest with a throat thrust, before going for a DDT. . ._

_. . .but Rolf caught Solid Snake off guard with a knee to the gut of his own! Rolf then Irish whipped Snake across the ring. . .then took him down with a hurricanrana pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .SNAKE KICKED OUT!!! Rolf rolled off Snake while the referee began the ten-count. . .and Snake began to crawl toward his corner for a tag!_

_“Both of these men are down, and have done a number on each other!” observed Frylock. “Who’s gonna make the tag first???”_

_Rolf wormed toward his corner, where Ed was standing, slapping the top turnbuckle with one hand while extending his hand out for a tag, while the fans were chanting, “WE WANT ED!!! WE WANT ED!!!”_

_“This crowd is practically_ _begging for the Lovable Oaf, Ed. . .” Shake said. “But Snake is relentless in his pursuit for a tag!”_

_Rolf and Snake extended their hands out. . ._

_. . .reached for their partners hands. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tags, with Ed getting tagged in just a second before Sub-Zero!_

_“And here comes the Monobrowed Monster!” Frylock called, as Ed and Sub-Zero charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring. . ._

_. . .with Ed taking down Sub-Zero with a clothesline, to cheers from the crowd! Ed turned around, waited for Sub-Zero to rise to his feet. . .before taking him down with ANOTHER clothesline! Ed turned around while Sub-Zero staggered up to one knee. . .only for Ed to take him down with a THIRD clothesline!!! The Monobrowed Monster then pulled Sub-Zero up to his feet. . .and tossed him across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex!_

_“Ed is like a house of fire right now, and these people can’t get enough of their fan favorite!” Frylock declared, as Ed laid on top of Sub-Zero for the cover! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 SUB-ZERO KICKED OUT!!! Ed couldn’t believe it!_

_“Oh my God, how close was that???” Frylock asked, while Ed rolled off the cover and pulled Sub-Zero up to his feet. . ._

_. . .but the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster hit the Monobrowed Monster in the chin with a boxer jab, knocking him back a bit. Ed tried to fight back with another clothesline. . .but Sub-Zero ducked under it, and ran behind Ed, putting him in a waist-lock. . .but Ed elbowed Sub-Zero in the face before slowly turning around to put him in a waist-lock of his own! Ed then went for a Russian Leg Sweep. . .but the Lin Kuei Grandmaster slid down to the mat. . .then spun around Ed with a wheelbarrow bodyscissors. . ._

_. . .before planting him onto the mat with a bulldog!!! Sub-Zero went for the cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 ED KICKED OUT!!!! Sub-Zero punched the mat in frustration!_

_“The Lin Kuei Grandmaster almost got the victory for himself and the Knighthood of Assassins, but the Monobrowed Monster won’t be taken down that easy!” Frylock declared._

_“If there’s anybody that CAN, it’s this god-forsaken Knighthood. . .” added Shake, as Sub-Zero pulled Ed up to a standing position before leaping up and knocking him against the ropes with a dropkick! Ed bounced back toward Sub-Zero. . .who leapt up for a Frankensteiner. . ._

_. . .but Ed gripped Sub-Zero’s sides as he made his way up! Ed then stepped back into the center of the ring. . ._

_. . .and planted Sub-Zero on the mat with a powerbomb. . ._

_. . .but Ed never let Sub-Zero go!!! The Monobrowed Colossus then lifted up Sub-Zero again. . .and took him back down to the mat with ANOTHER powerbomb!!!_

_“A DOUBLE POWERBOMB FROM ED!!!” screamed Frylock. “And bah gawd, that’s gotta be it!!!!”_

_Ed went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 SOLID SNAKE BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!!_

_“NOOOOO!!! SOLID SNAKE BROKE UP THE COUNT!” cried Frylock, as Rolf charged into the ring and took Snake down with a clothesline!!!_

_“So much for having a code, right, Frylock?” Shake quipped with disgust. “Sweet Tooth told him the Knighthood had a code of honor last week, yet Solid Snake got involved anyway!”_

_“The code only applies to outside interference, Shake!” Frylock replied. “If they’re partners in a tag team match, an Assassin can assist his fellow Knight. . .but Rolf’s in there to even the odds!”_

_Rolf pulled Snake up to his feet and Irish whipped him toward the ropes. . .but Snake countered the Irish whip with one of his own, sending Rolf over the ropes and down to the ringside floor in front of the announce table!!! Snake then slid out of the ring while Ed staggered up to his feet, selling his lower back in pain while Sub-Zero pulled himself up. Ed then lifted Sub-Zero’s head. . ._

_. . .nailed him with a headbutt. . ._

_. . .then lifted him up in a Gorilla Press. . ._

_. . .but Snake fell out of it, landing on his feet behind Ed, then shoved him toward the ropes! The Monobrowed Monster bounced back. . ._

_. . .and ended up on the shoulders of the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster!!!_

_“Wait a minute. . .what’s Sub-Zero about to do???” Frylock exclaimed._

_“How is he that strong???” wondered Shake. “Is he going for HIS OWN ELEDRIFIER???”_

_Sub-Zero stepped forward. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED ED ONTO THE MAT WITH A DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!!!_

_“NOOOOO!!! HE CONNECTED WITH THE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!!!” cried Frylock, as Sub-Zero went for a cover!!! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 ED POWERED OUT!!!_

_“ED POWERS OUT!!! But how much strength does he have left???” Frylock wondered while Sub-Zero landed on the mat, selling his ribs in pain while Ed staggered up with the ropes. Ed went for a kick to Sub-Zero’s midsection, but Sub-Zero caught it before it could make impact, then leapt up and nailed Ed with the Glacier Breaker! The Monobrowed Monster fell onto the mat face-up while Sub-Zero marched toward a top turnbuckle!_

_“Sub-Zero’s going up top. . .while business is picking up over where we are!” shouted Frylock, while Rolf and Snake were brawling in front of the announcer’s table!_

_“No matter who they face or where they go, carnage follows the Knighthood of Assassins!” yelled Shake, as Snake grabbed Rolf by the hair and rammed him face-first into the announcer’s table! Snake then pulled Rolf up and Irish whipped him toward the steel steps. . ._

_. . .but Rolf countered with an Irish whip of his own, causing Solid Snake to collide into the steel steps with a sickening thud, prompting the referee to leave the ring and try to break up the fight, ordering both men to go back to their corners!_

_“The referee’s FINALLY about to do something!” declared Shake. “But Sub-Zero’s looking to land a high risk maneuver—“_

_Sub-Zero reached the top rope. . ._

_. . .and leapt off for a Blizzard Bomb. . ._

_. . .BUT ED ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY, CAUSING SUB-ZERO TO LAND HARD ON THE MAT!!!!_

_“OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!! ED WAS ABLE TO SURVIVE THE BLIZZARD BOMB!!!! AND THAT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT!!!!” shouted Frylock, while Sub-Zero cringed and shouted in agonizing pain as he sold his back and glutes. Meanwhile, Ed pulled Sub-Zero up to his feet. . ._

_. . .sat him on his shoulders. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE ELEDRIFIER!!!...._

_….or, he WOULD HAVE, if Mordecai didn’t run into the ring!!!_

_“WHAT A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES!!! IT’S MORDECAI FROM THE WILD DUDES!!!” Shake screamed, while Ed let go of Sub-Zero, going for a clothesline on Mordecai. . ._

_. . .BUT MORDECAI LEAPT UP AND PLANTED ED TO THE MAT WITH THE YEAHUH!!!_

_“NOOOOO!!!! MORDECAI DROPPED HIM WITH THE YEAHUH!!! DAMMIT!!!” Frylock yelled unintelligibly. “THIS IS NOTHING BUT PAYBACK FOR LAST WEEK!!! AND THE REFEREE NEVER SAW IT!!!”_

_Mordecai left the ring while Solid Snake and Rolf stepped to their corners. . .with Rolf rushing toward Mordecai, but Mordecai escaped through the crowd before he could grab him! Meanwhile, in the ring, Sub-Zero had stumbled up to a standing position. . ._

_. . .staggered up to the top rope once more. . ._

_. . .AND THIS TIME, CONNECTED WITH THE MOONSAULT SENTON!!!_

_“NOW THE MOONSAULT SENTON CONNECTS!!!!” Frylock shouted with disgust, while Sub-Zero sold his tailbone in pain as he crawled on top of Ed for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .3!!!_

_“THE DAMN KNIGHTHOOD GETS THE VICTORY….” Frylock seethed, as Sub-Zero rose onto his knees while the bell rang!_

**_“The winners of this match. . .Solid Snake and Sub-Zero. . .the KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS!!!!”_ **

_Sub-Zero stood up and the referee raised his arm in victory. . .but Sub-Zero ordered the referee to stay in the ring before continuing to stomp the life out of Ed’s body!_

_“OH COME ON!!! You won the match!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!” Frylock yelled, as Sub-Zero pulled Ed up while Solid Snake knocked Rolf out of the ring and onto the ringside floor with a clothesline!!! The referee ordered Sub-Zero to stop. . .but Solid Snake put the referee in a light sleeper hold!_

_“THIS IS ABSOULTELY HEINOUS!!! WHY ISN’T ANYBODY STOPPING THIS???” shouted Frylock._  
  


_“Do ya think anyone would WANT to after the way the Knighthood came into this company??? This assault is all about SENDING A MESSAGE to Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman. . .Sub-Zero is gonna be ready to FIGHT this Sunday at Silver Lining!” Shake said, while Solid Snake helped Sub-Zero lift Ed up. . ._

_. . .and put him in position for a Double Piledriver. . ._

_. . .BUT ROLF LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE AND TOOK DOWN SUB-ZERO WITH A CHAIR-AIDED MISSILE DROPKICK!!!_

_“BUT HERE COMES THE SON OF A SHEPHERD TO MAKE THE SAVE!!!” shouted Frylock, before Rolf stood up nailed Snake in the back with the steel chair as well!!!_

_  
“Rolf is like a house of fire on the Knighthood!” Shake shouted. “He’s standing up for his friend, and telling them EXACTLY what he feels about ‘em!”_

_Rolf then hit Solid Snake in the back with the steel chair once more before dropping it and backing up, rotating his arm with anticipation!_

_“And Rolf is gearing up to give Sub-Zero a taste of his COC. . .” Shake declared. . .to chuckles from Frylock. . ._

_. . .as Rolf bounced off the ropes toward Solid Snake. . ._

_. . .BUT SUB-ZERO TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A SAVATE KICK!!!!_

_“NOOOOOOO!!! SUB-ZERO DAMN NEAR TOOK ROLF’S HEAD OFF!!!!” shouted Frylock, while Sub-Zero pulled Rolf up by the hair, and chucked the Son of a Shepherd into the arms of Solid Snake! The Metal Gear protagonist then set Rolf in position for a powerbomb. . ._

_. . .then lifted him, holding him up for a few seconds or so. . ._

_. . .BEFORE LEAPING UP AND TAKING HIM DOWN WITH A JUMPING PILEDRIVER!!!!_

_“AND THERE’S THE JUMPING PILEDRIVER!!! DAMMIT!!!” Frylock shouted, as Solid Snake laid on top of Rolf for a pin attempt, and shouted at the referee, ORDERING him to make the count! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .3!!!_

_“I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!!! SOLID SNAKE JUST WON BACK THE HARDCORE TITLE!!!” Frylock yelled, as the bell rang, and the referee immediately ran out of the ring to collect Rolf’s Hardcore title belt._

**_“Here is the NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”_ **

_“The referee doesn’t want to deal with the Knighthood of Assassins more than he already has to. . .they practically HURT him into staying in the ring just so they can regain the Hardcore Championship!” Frylock said with disgust, as the referee slid back into the ring to give Snake the Hardcore title belt, only to quickly leave the ring once more._

_“And Rolf’s not gonna like this one bit. . .D-ED’s not gonna like this one bit. . .” added Shake. “But I know one thing’s for sure. . .after this match, and this assault. . .I can’t help but worry that the Knighthood of Assassins will have the Tag Team Championship claimed in addition to the Hardcore title after Silver Lining this Sunday. . .”_

_Solid Snake raised the Hardcore title belt above his head while Sub-Zero shouted something unintelligible to the fans until the show transitioned back to the backstage area._

_“And as a result of that post-match brawl, Space Ghost made another match official for Silver Lining: Solid Snake would defend his newly-regained XCW Hardcore Championship against Rolf in a Hardcore match! The two had won the Hardcore title from each other since Heatwave, and it was time for the two of them to settle their score!” Frylock said. “But back to Monday Night Massacre, even after that ambush, the Wild Dudes weren’t finished with D-Generation Ed in the slightest. . .”_

_“Damn right they weren’t!” Shake interrupted. “Ed was just the beginning of the revenge that they deserved after what D-Generation Ed did to their possessions in The Park last week! Sure, assaulting Ed gave the damn Knighthood the victory, but it was what the Monobrowed Monster deserved! And when they finally found Eddy, the results were MORE than satisfying. . .”_

_The show transitioned to the backstage area, where Mordecai and Rigby were striding down a hallway._

_“Dude. . .there’s one down. . .and TWO to go. . .” Mordecai said, rubbing his hands….er, wings together._

_“Yeah, man! Those Eds are gonna PAY for what they did to us last week. . .” agreed Rigby, before he started hamboning._

_“UGH, are you really gonna start doing THAT in this company? You’re making us look bad.” Cringed Mordecai._

_“Come on, Mordecai! Hamboning pumps me UP!!!!” Rigby insisted, before letting out a scream of intensity. . ._

_. . .before---_

_“YOU LOOKIN’ FOR US, WILD DORKS???”_

_\---EDDY STORMED DOWN THE HALLWAY TOWARD MORDECAI AND RIGBY!!!_

_“US????” Rigby responded, with a laugh. “Did you forget your glasses at home? There’s TWO of us and one of you!”_

_“Yeah, DUDE….” Snapped Mordecai. “Where’s the nerdiest of the three of ya?”_

_“He’s preparing to win the Television title this Sunday. . .” Eddy answered. “But there’s one big lug that you COULDN’T put away. . .”_

_Mordecai and Rigby turned around. . ._

_. . .AND RIGBY WAS CLOTHESLINED DOWN TO THE GROUND BY ED!!!_

_“THE MONOBROWED MONSTER ED STILL HAS SOME LIFE LEFT IN HIM!!!” exclaimed Frylock, as Ed pulled Rigby back up and started brawling with him, while Mordecai charged toward Eddy and began trading right hands with him!!!_

_“IT’S ABSOLUTE ANARCHY BACK THERE, FRYLOCK!!! I LOVE IT!!!” shouted Shake, before Ed Irish whipped Rigby toward a wall and stepped toward Mordecai, putting him in a Full Nelson Lock. . ._

_. . .but Mordecai hit Ed in the groin with a low blow!!! While Rigby charged toward Eddy, Mordecai then started hammering away on Ed’s head with vicious right hands before ramming HIS head and face first into a wall. . ._

_. . .then PLANTING him onto the concrete floor with The YEAHUH!!!!_

_“OH NO, MAH GAWD, THE YEAHUH ON THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!!” Frylock cringed, while Eddy kneed Rigby in the chest, then hooked his legs for the Edigree. . ._

_. . .but Rigby countered out of it with punches to Eddy’s abdomen!!! Rigby then raked Eddy’s eyes. . .before pulling him over to a stack of wooden palettes. . ._

_. . .AND PLANTING HIM HEAD FIRST ONTO THE PALETTES WITH A TEMP CHECK (STO)!!!!!_

_“GOOD LORD!!! AND NOW A TEMP CHECK TO THE D-ED LEADER!!!!” Frylock shouted. “THIS HAS BECOME ONE-SIDED!!!!”_

_“And the RIGHT side is winning, if you ask me, Frylock!” Shake said, as Mordecai pulled a staggering Ed up to his feet. . .Irish whipped him toward Rigby. . ._

_. . .WHO SENT HIM REELING WITH THE DEATH PUNCH!!! Ed stumbled around the area in a daze. . ._

_. . .UNTIL MORDECAI CLOCKED HIM WITH A PUNCHIE THAT SENT HIM FALLING ONTO EDDY AND THE WOODEN PALETTES!!!_

_“GEEZ!!!! ED AND EDDY ARE BOTH DOWN AND OUT ON THE PALETTES!!!” cringed Frylock, as Mordecai and Rigby stood over them. . .and high-fived each other._

_“How’s THAT for a first fight???” Rigby taunted. “There’s PLENTY more where that came from. . .”_

_“Looks like there’s no Silver Lining for YOU this Sunday. . .” Mordecai said, before he and Rigby chanted, “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”, leaving Ed and Eddy in a crumbled heap on the wooden palettes!_

_“That was an absolute VICIOUS and UNCALLED FOR ASSAULT from the Wild Dudes! Mordecai and Rigby are damn sure sick!” Frylock said with disgust._

_“They wanted revenge, and they got it, Frylock!” Shake replied. “Even with the element of surprise, D-Generation Ed met their match!”_

_“It seems that way TONIGHT, but will Mordecai and Rigby resort to the same kind of tactics this Sunday in their first-ever sanctioned match on the XCW roster against Ed and Eddy at Silver Lining?”_

Ed and Eddy remained knocked out on the palettes until the show transitioned back to the interview area, where Frylock and Shake sat on stools in front of a high-definition television.

 

“Mordecai and Rigby were ALL OVER D-Generation Ed last week on Monday Night Massacre. . .but will that be the scene tomorrow night in King’s Landing when the two finally fight in the squared circle?” Frylock asked.

 

“Of COURSE it will, Frylock!” answered Shake. “In this battle of old-school versus new-school, Mordecai and Rigby have been on the attack, while the Eds are not taking them seriously, resorting to tired acts of juvenile delinquency! The Wild Dudes have this in the bag…”

 

“I’m honestly surprised you know what ‘delinquency’ means, Shake. . .” Frylock quipped, before turning to look into the camera. “. . .but last week’s Monday Night Massacre brought not only all that chaos, but also the final match of the number one contender’s tournament for the XCW Women’s Championship, where Yuna and Casey Lynch would square off for the right to face Sora Takenouchi for her Women’s title at Silver Lining! Both women earned the right to fight in this match through a hard-fought tournament, and our backstage interviewer, Mimi Tachikawa spoke with both of them before the match! Let’s hear what Yuna had to say. . .”

_The show transitioned to the backstage area, where Mimi Tachikawa stood next to Yuna with a microphone in hand._

_“Yuna, tonight, you’re facing Casey Lynch in the final match in this number one contender’s tournament. . .but you’re fighting with taped ribs. Does this affect your strategy going into the match?” asked Mimi, before handing the microphone over to Yuna._

_“This doesn’t affect my strategy, Mimi, more so, it affects my motivation. . .by now, you’ve probably heard my story from a second party. . .but I want all these people to hear it from me. . .” responded Yuna. “You see. . ._ right after Doomsday a few months ago in XCW time. . .I was demoted to our company's developmental league. I went through a mess of mixed emotions and feelings. . .that the higher-ups didn't know how to book me. . .saw nothing in me. . .didn't care about me. . .and none of those feel great, let me tell you. But instead of complaining about it, I worked to improve myself every day in LCW. . .because I wanted to be what they saw in me when I first signed to XCW, and now that they’ve given me a second chance, I’ve had no intention of taking it for granted. . .and that’s going to continue into the tournament finals! Casey Lynch will come at me with the same tenacity she’s had since debuting in this company. But she’s reckless in underestimating me and claiming that our match is over before it even begins. . .so as far as I’m concerned, she can do her WORST. . .because tonight. . .I’m going to give her my BEST.”

 

Yuna stared confidently into the camera until the show transitioned to the backstage area.

 

“One commercial break later, Mimi caught up with Casey Lynch, who had. . .quite a few things to say, not only about Yuna, but the XCW Women’s Champion herself. . .” Frylock said, as the show transitioned to the interview area, where Mimi Tachikawa stood next to Casey Lynch with a microphone in hand.

 

“Casey Lynch, up next, you fight Yuna in the final match of this tournament, but in your first three weeks on the XCW roster, you’ve gained a reputation as a girl who plays by her own rules, and it stems from what you do to opponents after you defeat them. . .if I may ask, why do you do such a thing?” asked Mimi.

 

_“What’s the matter, Mimi?” replied Casey. “Afraid of what I’ll do to Sora this Sunday? It wouldn’t surprise me if she put you up to asking that question. . .she hasn’t fought in a match in so long, she needs someone to investigate her competition.”_

_“EXCUSE ME??? I’ll have you know that I’m doing my job! You know, this is the SECOND time you’ve taken over an interview with a cheap jab toward Sora! Just….who do you think you are, anyway?” exclaimed Mimi, astonished._

_“I’m the Goddess of Rock, sister.” Casey responded. “I talk smack as hard as I rock. . .but to answer your question. . .I knock my opponents out with a guitar after I beat ‘em for one reason, and one reason only. . .to assure that once I’ve beaten them, they’ll NEVER reach my level ever again. Like in music before XCW, I’m a star on the rise. . .and this tournament has been all about my ascension to the top of XCW’s women’s division. . .if making a legend like WASP tap out last week wasn’t proof, a victory tonight WILL. Yuna can talk all she wants about her past and trying to redeem herself and other crap from an inspirational quote poster. . .but the fact of the matter is that no one in this tournament has been more tenacious than me. . .more energetic than me. . .or more versatile than me. This is MY tournament to win, and Silver Lining is MY time to shine. . .so a win tonight, and this Sunday against Sora Takenouchi. . .will be nothing more than. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .RIGHTEOUS!!!”_

_Casey stared into the camera with a confident glare until the show transitioned to the arena._

 

“And then came the match itself. . .it was a hard-fought, knockdown, drag ‘em out affair, with a hell of a finish!” Frylock said, as Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

**_“The following diva’s contest is scheduled for one fall!”_ **

_"Simple and Clean" by Utada Hikaru played as Yuna strutted onto the ramp to cheers from the crowd._

_"Introducing first. . .from Besaid. . .she is 'The Cosmos Summoner'. . .YUNA!"_

_“The fans are behind this young woman here tonight, and I can’t disagree with them, Shake! Earlier tonight, we heard from Yuna herself about all the trials and stresses she felt and went through after being demoted to our developmental company in March, and how she used them as motivation to strive to be a better fighter and performer. All that is behind her now, and it’s gotten her all the way to the finals of this number one contender’s tournament; and after tonight, it’ll earn her the right to face Sora Takenouchi at Silver Lining for the XCW Women’s Championship!” Frylock informed, as Yuna entered the ring above the second rope and stepped on a top rope in a corner, waving toward the fans._

_“Gimme a break, Frylock!” Shake snapped. “This girl is nothing more than a Plain Jane! She has as much personality now as she did BEFORE she was demoted to developmental! And have all these people FORGOTTEN that she tapped out to the freakin’ abdominal stretch back in February??? The girl’s got heart, I’ll give her that, but in this tournament, she’s had one clean win against Margaret, and barely won against Bloody Mary by the skin of her teeth, and she even got the SHIT beaten out of her so hard, she’s fighting with taped up ribs tonight! The Cosmos Summoner’s luck is about to run out.”_

_Yuna stood in the center of the ring, looking up the ramp with anticipation until. ._

_. . .Eruption" by Van Halen played, with Casey Lynch stepping onto the stage, playing the most EPIC of guitar solos with an electric guitar with the center light down. The lights on the stage went up, revealing Casey on the stage to a mixed reaction from the crowd._

_"And her opponent.. . .she is "The Goddess Of Rock". . .CASEY LYNCH!!!”_

_As Casey finished the guitar solo, "Youth Without Youth" by Metric played all over the arena, and Casey strode down the ramp with a confident smirk across her face, and her electric Gibson guitar in hand, until she rested it against a ring post upon reaching the ring._

_“This woman may be your type, Shake, because she’s got a VERY attractive personality. . .” quipped Frylock with sarcasm. “She’s been proclaiming herself a star on the rise, and beating everyone in her path senseless to prove it! She thinks rules were made to be broken, she plays by her own, has got something to prove and nothing to lose. . .she’s a grade-A loose cannon, and has even gone so far as to talk trash to Sora Takenouchi’s face! She’s certainly proved that she’s as tenacious as they come in XCW and an impressive fighter in her versatility, but her attitude leaves a lot to be desired, especially from a competitor in this tournament!”_

_Casey entered the ring and raised her right arm high in the air, flashing the "Rock On!" hand sign to the fans, who were still giving her a mixed reaction as Yuna looked on, her arms up ready for a fight._

_“Well aren’t you a good Samaritan?” asked Shake. “Hate to break it to ya, but ever since her debut, Casey’s been focused on one thing and one thing only: winning this tournament. Our women’s division has been middling at best, and women like Casey are giving it a MUCH needed breath of fresh air. We don’t need walking clichés like Yuna competing for the Women’s title, we need badass rockers like the Goddess of Rock to win this tournament! Between the state of Yuna’s ribs, and Casey’s no-restraints fighting style, the winner of this match, Sora’s next opponent, and the new XCW Women’s Champion after Silver Lining are clear-cut. . .and it’s the Goddess of Rock.”_

_The bell rang and the match began with both women in opposite corners, until they began pacing around the ring in a circle, staring each other down. Eventually they met in the center of the ring, with Yuna putting Casey in a tie-up. . .but Casey Lynch fought out of it and put Yuna in a headlock, then took her down with a side headlock takedown! Casey then wrenched on Yuna’s neck for a bit before pulling her back up and taking her down with a hip toss! Casey went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out!!! Casey quickly pulled Yuna up by the hair and went for a right hand. . .but Yuna caught it in time to give Casey a right hand of her own! Yuna then hit Casey with a three-punch combination before taking her down with an armbar, then landing a leg drop onto her shoulder! Yuna went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Casey kicked out!!!_

_Yuna then pulled Casey up by the hair and went for a chop. . .but Casey blocked it and Irish whipped Yuna into a corner, then took her down with a shoulder thrust before hitting her in the chest with several mudhole kicks!!! Casey then pulled Yuna by the leg to the center of the ring and landed a falling elbow to Yuna’s sternum! Casey went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out!!! Casey pulled Yuna up to her feet and went for an uppercut, only for Yuna to grip her arm, put her in a wrist-lock and take her down with an Armbreaker! Yuna went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Casey kicked out!!!_

_“So far, both of these women are proving to be very evenly matched, despite contrasting fighting styles!” Frylock said. “Who will be the first to gain the upper hand?”_

_Yuna pulled Casey up to a standing position and went for a clothesline. . .only for Casey to spin out of the way and nail Yuna in the back of the head with an elbow. With Yuna temporarily dazed, the Goddess of Rock then Irish whipped Yuna across the ring, and once the Cosmos Summoner hit the ropes, Casey leapt up and launched Yuna over the ropes and down to the ringside floor with a jumping dropkick! Yuna landed hard on her ribs, and sold them in pain while she slowly rose up to her feet. . ._

_. . .while back in the ring, Casey ran against the ropes behind her. . ._

_. . .then charged toward Yuna. . ._

_. . .AND LEAPT OVER THE ROPES, TAKING YUNA BACK DOWN WITH A HEADBANGER!!!_

_“OH MY GOD!!!” Frylock screamed, as the crowd erupted into chants of, “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” Meanwhle, Casey and Yuna were both down on the ringside floor near the ramp as the referee began the ten-count!_

_“Casey Lynch damn near went FLYING with that Headbanger!” Shake shouted. “She’s got the clear advantage right now!”_

_Casey became the first to make it up to her feet, upon which, she pulled Yuna up by the hair and rammed her face-first onto the ring apron, then Irish whipped her against the steel steps, with the Cosmos Summoner colliding into them ribs-first with a sickening thud!!! Yuna wailed in agonizing pain while the referee’s count reached four. Casey then pulled Yuna back up and lifted her up for a scoop slam. . ._

_. . .but Yuna dropped out of it behind Casey, and shoved her head-first into the ring post!!! Casey sold her head in pain while Yuna had fallen to one knee, trying to catch her breath after the collision earlier._

_“OOOOOOOH!!!! Casey’s head must be ringing right now! But can Yuna capitalize?” Frylock wondered, as the referee’s count reached six. Yuna rose to a standing position and stepped toward Casey, pulling her up by the hair. . ._

_. . .or, she would have, if Casey didn’t blindside her with a kick to the temple! Casey then pulled herself up with the ring pole before sliding Yuna under the bottom rope into the ring, but then nailing her right between the eyes with an elbow to the face! Casey then climbed onto the apron and entered the ring above the second rope, breaking the referee’s count after it reached eight. Casey then went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna somehow kicked out!!! Casey couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“Yuna still has signs of life, much to the chagrin of the Goddess of Rock!” Frylock said, as Casey pulled Yuna back up. . .but Yuna surprised Casey with a right hand! Yuna then hit Casey with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping her across the ring. . .and after Casey bounced back, Yuna took her down with a wheelbarrow bulldog!!! Yuna went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Casey kicked out!!! Yuna rose up from the cover, deep in thought about what to do next. Yuna then put Casey in a headlock, then ran toward the corner, going for the Grand Summon. . ._

_. . .but Casey kept her grip on Yuna’s sides and took her down with a back suplex!!!_  
  
“Yuna’s folded up like an accordion after going for the Grand Summon! Now what’s Casey gonna do?” Frylock wondered.

_“Something that’ll put the Cosmos Summoner in her place, that’s for sure!” quipped Shake. “Going for the kill that early is a death sentence to Yuna’s hopes and dreams. . .AND her ribs!”_

_With Yuna still down, Casey taunted for Yuna to get up, in a ‘COME ON!’ motion. The Cosmos Summoner eventually staggered up to her feet with a hand on her ribs. Casey then charged toward Yuna, going for a boot to her face. . .but Yuna spun out of the way, causing Casey to run into the ropes chest-first. Yuna then put Casey in a waist-lock and took her down with a German suplex, then went for a prawn hold pin attempt!!! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .CASEY COUNTERED OUT OF IT BY LOCKING YUNA IN THE HAMMER-ON AND PULL OFF!!!!_

_“CASEY COUNTERED!!! SHE COUNTERED A PIN INTO HER CROSS ARMBREAKER!!!” called Frylock, as Casey pulled Yuna’s arm with all her might while Yuna screamed in agonizing pain!_

_“How’s THAT for a counter?” Shake asked. “Casey knows how to be technically sound! And Yuna can’t defend against it!!!”_

_Yuna wailed with growing pain while the referee knelt down and asked the Cosmos Summoner if she wanted to quit. Yuna shook her head no but she reached for the bottom rope behind her with her free arm, while Casey was SCREAMING, “TAP OUT, BITCH!!! Meanwhile, Yuna inched closer to the ropes, with Casey only intensifying the hold more and more! Yuna extended her hand out. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .kept her arm raised high in the air. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .wormed as close as she could to the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and SUCCESSFULLY draped her arm over the bottom rope for a rope break!. . ._

_. . .but Casey kept the hold locked in! The referee shouted for Casey to break the hold, but the Goddess of Rock ignored him, instead STRENGTHENING the hold! The referee then began the five-count, with Casey FINALLY breaking the hold once the count reached four._

_“Yuna managed to break the hold, but Casey sure didn’t want to!” Frylock shouted. “Yuna’s back in the match. . .but what kind of shape is she in?”_

_“Not in any fighting shape, Frylock!” Shake dismissed. “_

_Casey then pulled Yuna into the center of the ring. . .and landed another leg drop onto her ailing shoulder!!! Casey then went for a cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .YUNA KICKED OUT!!! The crowd cheered as Casey shot up from the cover, mouthing, “What the HELL…?”_

_“NOOOOO!!!! Yuna got the shoulder up!!!” Frylock shouted, as Casey stood up, pondering what to do to next. . .then looked up at the top rope. . .and started climbing up it!_

_“We know Casey is a ruthless competitor, but she’s never gone high-risk!” Frylock said. “If Casey lands this, it’ll do all kinds of damage to Yuna’s midsection!”_

_Casey then leapt off the top rope for a diving elbow. . ._

_. . .BUT YUNA ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY, CAUSING CASEY TO LAND RIGHT ONTO THE MAT!!!!_

_“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! CASEY WENT FOR A DIVING ELBOW, BUT YUNA ROLLED OUT OF HER PATH!!! AND NOW CASEY IS LOOKING WORSE FOR WEAR!!!!” screamed Frylock, while Casey screamed in agonizing pain, clenching her elbow._

_“HOW THE F*CK DID SHE SEE THAT COMING??? THIS IS A BUNCH OF CRAP!!!” spewed Shake, while the referee began the ten-count!!!_

_“BOTH WOMEN ARE DOWN ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE RING!!!” Frylock shouted. “Yuna’s shoulder and ribs have been through all kinds of turmoil, but that right elbow has to be a weak spot for Casey Lynch now! Who’s gonna win this match??? WHO’S GONNA WIN THE RIGHT TO FACE SORA TAKENOUCHI FOR THE XCW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP AT SILVER LINING???”_

_Yuna drug herself toward the ropes and pulled herself up with one hand while Casey staggered toward the ropes near her side of the ring and pulled herself up to a standing position until the referee’s count broke at five. Casey and Yuna then turned toward each other and staggered toward the center of the ring, with Yuna meeting Casey there with a right hand, to cheers of “YAY!!!” from the crowd in unison with it. Casey reeled backward in a daze. . .only to strike back with a punch of her own to Yuna’s temple, with the crowd yelling, “BOO!!!” in unison with it. Casey winced in pain after the impact, for she was using the same arm that made impact with the mat earlier. Regardless, she and Yuna continued trading right hands as the fans cheered along with them, standing up in anticipation!_

_“The fans are on their feet here in Alberquerque!” called Frylock. “They can’t get enough of this exciting tournament final!”_

_Yuna hit Casey with another right hand. . ._

_. . .before Casey took her by suprise with a LEFT hand that gained her the upper hand!!! Casey continued slugging Yuna with left hand after left hand before knocking her onto her back with a swift European uppercut!!! Casey then taunted for Yuna to stand up to her feet. Yuna eventually staggered up to a standing position, using the ropes. . ._

_. . .until Casey dropped her with a Full Nelson Bomb!!! Casey drug Yuna into the center of the ring and went for a cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 YUNA KICKED OUT!!! Casey couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“HOW CLOSE WAS THAT???” Frylock shouted, while Casey rose to her feet, seething under her breath._

_“Too far for Casey, Frylock!” Shake said. “She looks like she’s out to kill at this point!”_

_  
Casey then grabbed a fistful of Yuna’s hair and slugged her with another uppercut that sent the Cosmos Summoner reeling. Casey then put Yuna in another full nelson lock. . .but Yuna kicked the Goddess of Rock in the shin, causing her to break the hold!!! Yuna then turned around to face Casey, and lifted her up with all her might. . ._

_. . .and RAMMED her against her knee with a Gutbuster!!!_

_“GUTBUSTER TO CASEY!!! SOMEHOW, WITH HER AILING ARM, YUNA CONNECTED WITH A GUTBUSTER TO CASEY!!!” called Frylock, as Yuna fell on top of Casey for a pin attempt!!! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 CASEY KICKED OUT!!!! Yuna rolled off the cover and onto her back, exasperated, looking up at the lights, contemplating what to do next. Yuna rolled onto her chest, and pushed herself up, swerving as she made it to her feet. Yuna waited for Casey Lynch to rise up to her knees before stepping toward the corner. . .and climbing up to the middle rope!!!_

_“And now Yuna’s looking to go high-risk. . .will she nail this attempt, or will she know Casey’s pain?” Frylock wondered, as Casey successfully made it to her a standing position. . ._

_. . .upon which, Yuna leapt off the middle rope. . ._

_. . .and caught Casey for a Diving Tornado DDT—NO!!!_

_Casey kept Yuna in her grasp on her shoulders and dropped her with a forward suplex!!!! Yuna clenched her ribs upon impact while Casey pulled Yuna up to her feet, pressing her back against her chest. . ._

_. . .before lifting her leg, pressing it against her chest. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING YUNA ONTO THE MAT WITH THE CURTAIN CALL (Inverted Leg Drop Bulldog)!!!!_

_“THERE’S THE CURTAIN CALL!!! AND NOW, THAT’S GOTTA BE ALL SHE WROTE FOR YUNA!!!” Shake declared, as Casey fell to her knees before going for the cover!!! The referee made the count 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 YUNA KICKED OUT!!!! Casey punched the mat with frustration!!!_  
  
“HOW IN THE F*CK DID YUNA KICK OUT????” shouted Frylock, while the fans erupted with cheers!!!

_“I don’t know how, but the crowd can’t get enough of it!!!” Frylock said, as they started to cheer, “LET’S GO YUNA!!!” and clap five times before shouting, “LET’S GO YUNA!!!”, while Casey just seethed with anger until she gripped Yuna by the hair again and pulled her up. . ._

_. . .only for Yuna to nail Casey right between the eyes with a boxer jab!!! Yuna continued to hit Casey in the face with jab after jab until Casey was backed up in the corner. Yuna then Irish whipped Casey across the ring into another corner, and the Goddess of Rock bounced off it, wincing in pain from the impact. . .until Yuna dropped her leapt up. . ._

_. . .and THIS time, connected with a jumping tornado DDT!!!! Casey sold her head in pain as she rose up to her knees. . ._

_. . .but little did she know that Yuna had ran against the ropes in front of her! Yuna geared up as she bounced back. . ._

_. . .AND WHACKED HER IN THE HEAD WITH THE SHINING WIZARD!!!!_

_“THE SHINING WIZARD!!!! YUNA CAME INTO THIS COMPANY WITH THAT MOVE, AND IT MAY HAVE EARNED HER THE MATCH AT SILVER LINING!!!” Frylock shouted, as Yuna went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 CASEY KICKED OUT!!!! Yuna rolled off the cover, laying on the mat face down in disbelief!!!_

_“NOOOOOOOO!!!!” yelled Frylock. “SO CLOSE, YET SO FAR AWAY….YUNA ALMOST HAD THE TOURNAMENT WON….”_

_“Now what’s Yuna gonna do? Cry about it? IS SHE CRYING??? THERE’S NO CRYING IN WRESTLING!!!!” shouted Shake, before Yuna pulled herself up to her knees, then staggered up to her feet, looking down at Casey, who was struggling up to a kneeling position herself, selling her head after the kick she just received. Yuna put Casey in a headlock and pulled her up to a standing position, pointing at the corner, to cheers from the crowd!_  
  


_“She’s gonna signal for the end of the match, Shake!” Frylock declared. “Because the timing couldn’t be better for Yuna. . .”_

_Yuna then charged toward the corner, with the headlock still intact. . ._

_“. . .to call for the Grand Summon—“_

_. . .but Casey hooked her leg over Yuna’s, stopping her in her tracks!!! Casey then lifted up the Cosmos Summoner. . .and planted her back onto her feet with an Atomic Drop!!! Casey then lifted Yuna back up. . .and this time, took her down with a Spinning Side Slam!!!_

_“NO!!! Casey threw in a stop to Yuna, and now the Goddess of Rock is in the driver’s seat!” called Frylock, while Yuna stumbled toward the ropes, pulling herself up to a standing position. . ._

_. . .until Casey came up to her from behind. . ._

_. . .tied up her arms. . ._

_. . .lifted her up. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED YUNA ON HER HEAD WITH THE VERTEBREAKER!!!!_

_“HOT DAMN THAT VERTEBREAKER WAS SOUL-CRUSHINGLY AWESOME!!!” cheered Shake. “Where do ya think she got that from?”_

_“I don’t have a lot of ideas, Shake…” said Frylock, while Casey pulled Yuna back to the center of the ring and went for the cover, hooking the leg! “But with that move. . .”_

  1. _. ._



_“. . .the Goddess of Rock. . .”_

  1. _. ._



_“. . .is well on her way. . .”_

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999999999 YUNA SOMEHOW KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“—to Silver Lining—OR MAYBE NOT!!!!” shouted Frylock, as the crowd erupted ONCE AGAIN in massive cheers!!!!_

_“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!” shouted Shake. “HOW THE F*CK DOES YUNA STILL HAVE STRENGTH, LET ALONE CONSCIOUSNESS????”_

_“I HAVE NO IDEA, SHAKE, AND NEITHER DOES CASEY!!!!! SHE’S ABOUT TO GO BERSERK!!!!!” Frylock replied, while Casey rose up to her feet, pulling her hair in angered frustration!_

_“If she were smart, she would go for her guitar that she loves so much!” Shake said, as Casey Lynch stared down the Cosmos Summoner. . .before grabbing a fistful of Yuna’s hair. . .and pulling her up to a standing position!_

_“Casey knows that this is neither the time or the place for that, Shake. . .” Frylock said. “. . .but what’s she going to do here?”_

_Casey then drug Yuna toward a corner. . .and sat her down on it!_

_“Uh-oh. . .Casey’s finished her set list. . .and now she’s about to give Yuna the Ultimate Encore. . .” Frylock foreboded, as Casey lifted Yuna up. . .and sat her onto her shoulders, facing up so she was looking up at the lights. . ._

_. . .ran forward. . ._

_. . .AND YUNA SLIPPED OFF OF CASEY, LANDING BEHIND HER!!!!_

_“—OR MAYBE NOT!!!!” shouted Frylock, as Casey turned around to face the Cosmos Summoner. . ._

_. . .WHO LEAPT UP AND NAILED HER IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH TROUBLE IN PARADISE!!!!_

_“TROUBLE IN PARADISE!!! YUNA JUST KNOCKED CASEY INTO NEXT WEEK WITH TROUBLE IN PARADISE!!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd popped with excitement!_

_“THAT’S BULLSHIT!!!! SHE STOLE THAT MOVE FROM SOMEBODY!!! WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS CRAP?????” screamed Shake, as Yuna fell to her knees then went for the cover!!!!_

_“Say what you will about it, Shake. . .” Frylock said, before the referee made the count 1. . ._

_“. . .but Yuna saved it for a rainy day. . .”_

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_“. . .and it’s earned her the right. . .”_

_. . ._

_. . .2.999999999999999999 CASEY BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!! THE CROWD GROANED IN SURPRISE WHILE YUNA ROSE UP TO HER KNEES, LOOKING DOWN AT CASEY WITH EXASPERATION!!!_

_“. . .to go to Silver—NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! CASEY KICKED OUT!!!! BAH GAWD, CASEY KICKED OUT!!!!! AND YUNA’S BESIDE HERSELF!!!!” Frylock declared, as Yuna pulled Casey up by the jacket. . ._

_. . .put her in a headlock. . ._

_“Yuna’s about to go for the Grand Summon once more!!!” shouted Frylock. . ._

_. . .but Casey elbowed Yuna in the sternum to break free, and put her in an inverted fireman’s carry position!!!_

_“NO!!! CASEY WITH A COUNTER!!! AND THE COSMOS SUMMONER IS IN NO MAN’S LAND!!!” called Frylock, as Casey ran forward. . .but Yuna dropped out of it, and put the Goddess of Rock in a waist-lock. . .but Casey drove Yuna backwards into a corner, and put Yuna in a wrist-lock. . ._

_“COUNTER AFTER COUNTER!!! These two women are using every last bit of remaining energy they have to get in the right position for their finishing maneuver!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as Casey wrenched on Yuna’s arm. . ._

_. . .until Yuna gripped onto Casey’s arm and Irish whipped her into the corner behind them! Casey reeled out of it. . ._

_. . .and into a headlock from Yuna!!! Yuna then charged forward. . ._

_. . .ran up the corner. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE CASEY FACE-FIRST ONTO THE MAT WITH THE GRAND SUMMON!!!!_

_“AND THE THIRD TIME IS THE PROVERBIAL CHARM!!!!” shouted Frylock. “YUNA CONNECTS WITH THE GRAND SUMMON….”_

_Yuna rolled Casey onto her back and went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_“…..ON HER WAY….”_

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_“….TO SILVER LINING….”_

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!!_

_“….AS THE WINNER OF THIS TOURNAMENT!!!!”_

_The crowd EXPLODED with cheers as Yuna rolled off Casey while the bell rang!!!_

**_“The winner of this match. . .’The Cosmos Summoner’. . . . . .YUNA!!!!!!”_ **

_“The fans here in Alberquerque have ERUPTED for Yuna, and deservedly so!!!” Frylock declared. “Yuna has emerged not only as the winner of this match, but also the winner of this number one contender’s tournament! She vowed that she would give nothing but the best tonight, and she followed through on that promise, prevailing through every challenge, every bump, and every submission maneuver, on her way to her shot at the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Championship in just six days at Silver Lining!”_

Yuna rose to her feet and the referee raised her arm in victory as the crowd cheered for the Cosmos Summoner!

_“I’m STILL not buying it for one second, Frylock. . .” Shake said. “As great of a performance that was, it’s even harder to replicate! And if you think I believe that Yuna’s going to be able to fight at that level against Sora Take-f*cking-nouchi, think again.”_

“You are REALLY hard to please, Shake. . .regardless, in my mind, Yuna is one of the brightest young talents in XCW’s ever-growing women’s division, and will rise up to the challenge this Sunday!” Frylock said, as Yuna strode out of the ring and began high-fiving fans in the front row, stepping toward the ramp. . .

 

. . .until Sora Takenouchi stepped onto the stage.

 

“And right there is Yuna’s ultimate obstacle. . .” Shake declared, as Sora Takenouchi raised the Women’s title belt high above her head.

 

“Sora Takenouchi is healthy, rested and ready for a competition. . .but Yuna has fought TOO hard throughout this tournament to let up now!” Frylock said. “Which of these two women will walk out of King’s Landing this Sunday as the XCW Women’s Champion?”

 

Yuna stared Sora down from the foot of the ramp until the show transitioned back to the backstage area, where Frylock and Master Shake sat on stools in front of a high-definition television.

 

“And with that victory, Yuna earned herself the right to face Sora Takenouchi for the XCW Women’s Championship tomorrow night at Silver Lining! Will Yuna vindicate herself and silence her critics, or will Sora Takenouchi make her wrestling return to XCW with a bang?”

 

“Oh, she’ll return with a BANG, all right. . .” Shake quipped. “Yuna’s fought so hard, she can barely stand! Sora’s healthy and ready to fight! This match is over before it’s even began!”

 

“…..I agree to disagree, Shake……” Frylock deadpanned, before turning back to face the camera. “….but if there’s one thing we DO agree on, it’s that the Knighthood of Assassins need to be put in their place…..and that brings us to the six-man tag team match that resulted from the confrontation at the beginning of the night, which would pit XCW World Heavyweight Champion Tai Kamiya and XCW World Tag Team Champions Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman against Hotsuma, Scorpion, and the Knighthood’s newest member, Daffy Duck. With the Knighthood in this match, it was as brutal as brutal can get, right down to the bitter end. . .

 

_The show transitioned back to the arena, where Eric Cartman and Daffy Duck were brawling in the ring._

_  
“So far, Cartman’s been relentless against the Knighthood’s newest member, but Daffy’s always been the sneaky type!” Frylock said. “You can NEVER count him out, no matter what position he’s in!”_

_The two men continued trading punches until Cartman surprised Daffy with a kick to the midsection, then he leapt up for the South Park Stunner, but Daffy shoved him toward the ropes! The South Park Enforcer then bounced back. . ._

_. . .and right into the Duck Amuck Spinebuster from Daffy! Daffy quickly went for the cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .CARTMAN KICKED OUT!!!! Daffy rolled off the cover, punching the mat in anger before he started crawling toward his corner for a tag, while Cartman did the same, with Tai Kamiya slapping the top turnbuckle with one hand, and extending his other hand out toward Cartman!_

_“Both of these teams have done a number on each other, but there’s no one that wants a piece of the Knighthood more than the World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya!” Frylock declared. “But even now, I’m not sure if that’s the best thing for him!”_

_“Yet like an idiot, he’s gonna charge in there like XCW’s knight in shining armor anyway, and hurt his leg in the process! Will we have to pull a Commander Duke and suspend him just to teach him a lesson?” Shake wondered._

_“Somehow, I don’t think the anonymous chairman will allow even THAT. . .Space Ghost is doing his best to fight for Tai, bless his heart. . .but whether it’s enough to make the chairman budge remains to be seen. . .but what ELSE remains to be seen, pardon the segue. . .is who will make the tag first???” Frylock asked, as Cartman and Daffy Duck extended their hands out. . ._

_. . .reached for their partners hands. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tags, with Hotsuma getting tagged in just a second before Tai!_

_“THE TAGS ARE MADE, AND HERE COMES TAI AND SCORPION!!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as Tai and Scorpion charged toward each other, with Tai leaping toward Scorpion and taking him down with a Clothesline, only for the Icon of UWE to immediately roll up and take Tai down with a clothesline of his own!!! Scorpion then lifted his foot off the mat. . .and STOMPED hard on Tai’s inured leg, causing Tai to scream in agonizing pain. Scorpion then pulled Tai up by the hair and Irish whipped him across the ring, then took him down with a THUNDEROUS spear!!! Scorpion went for the cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 TAI KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“Scorpion took advantage of Tai’s injured leg, but the World Heavyweight Champion is resilient!” Frylock declared. “What’s Tai thinking now?”_

_“He’s gotta be thinking about a turtle on a skateboard, Frylock!” Shake quipped. “He’s STUPID to keep on fighting!”_

_Scorpion pulled Tai up by the hair. . .but the Crestbearer of Courage surprised Scorpion with an elbow to the face, breaking his grip! Tai then gripped Scorpion in a tie-up, before turning around to face his back and put him in a waist-lock, then lifted him up. . ._

_. . .but the pressure he was putting on his injured leg forced Tai to let him go!!! But Scorpion turned around. . ._

_. . .right into a jumping dropkick from Tai, causing Scorpion to stagger toward the ropes behind him! Tai winced as he rose up to his feet from the impact his leg took from his own dropkick before stepping backwards onto the middle rope of a corner. Meanwhile, Scorpion bounced back. . ._

_. . .right into a jumping tornado DDT from Tai!!!_

_“JUMPING TORNADO DDT!!! TAI’S TAKEN DOWN SCORPION!!! WILL IT BE ENOUGH???” Frylock wondered, as Tai went for the cover!!! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 SCORPION KICKED OUT!!! Tai couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“How the hell did Tai even leap off the middle rope???” Shake wondered. “His leg has to be killing him. . .”_

_“He used his LEFT leg to jump with, Shake!” answered Frylock. “He’s resorting to EVERYTHING he can to use his right leg as little as possible!”_

_Tai stepped toward the Icon of UWE and pulled him up to his feet. . ._

_. . .only for Scorpion to rip his arm out of its grasp and ram him in the chest with a throat thrust!!! Scorpion then lifted Tai up for a Standing Shiranui. . .but Tai dropped out of it behind Scorpion on his left leg first. . .only for Scorpion to turn around. . .pick him up. . .and drop him onto the mat with a Sidewalk Slam!!! Scorpion then gripped Tai by the hair and pulled him up. . .sat him on his shoulders. . ._

_. . .and THIS TIME, connected with the Standing Shiranui!!! Scorpion went for the cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 STAN BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!!_

_“Stan Marsh coming to the aid of the World Heavyweight Champion!” Frylock said, as Scorpion shot up from the cover, staring Stan Marsh in the face with a menacing expression. “And Scorpion did NOT like that one bit….”_

_“He looked like he was about to KILL the South Park Leader. . .” foreboded Shake, as Scorpion turned his attention back to the World Heavyweight Champion. . ._

_. . .who flipped him onto the mat with a knee to the face!!! Tai then pushed himself up to his knees and landed a leg drop across his chest with the good leg! Tai then pulled the Icon of UWE up to his feet and Irish whipped him into a corner! Tai then charged toward the corner, and kneed Scorpion in the chin again. . .before running toward the center of the ring and planting him face-first with a bulldog!_

_“Tai suddenly gained a burst of energy!!! Go for the cover, Tai!!!” called Frylock. . .but Tai instead gripped Scorpion by his bandana. . .and pulled him up to his feet. . ._

_. . .before putting him in a waist-lock. . ._

_. . .and by using the pressure on his left leg, lifted Scorpion up. . ._

_. . .and THIS time, connected with the German suplex!!! But Tai wasn’t finished._ _Still grasping onto his waist, Tai pulled the Animation Icon up. . .and took him down with ANOTHER German suplex! Tai pulled Bugs up by the waist one more time. . .and took him down with a third and final German suplex!_

_“TAI PERFECTED THE TRIFECTA WITH ONLY ONE GOOD LEG!!!” Frylock declared, as Tai crawled on top of Scorpion for a cover!!! “And with what little strength he has left, Tai could pick up the victory!!!”_

_The referee made the count 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 HOTSUMA PUNTED TAI IN THE MIDSECTION, BREAKING UP THE THREE COUNT!!!!_

_“AND HOTSUMA SAVES THE LOSS FOR THE KNIGHTHOOD!!! DAMMIT!!!” cursed Frylock. . .until Stan and Cartman charged into the ring!!!_

_“BUT HERE COMES THE CAVALRY, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake called, as Stan Marsh went for a Clothesline on the Knighthood Leader. . .but Hotsuma caught him and took him down with a swift Powerslam! Hotsuma rose from the slam. . ._

_. . .only to get a kick to the midsection from Cartman---_

_\--but Hotsuma shoved the South Park Enforcer toward the ropes, while Daffy grabbed him by the feet from the outside of the ring, swept him onto the mat, and slid him onto the ringside floor!!! Meanwhile, back in the ring, the referee demanded that Hotsuma went back to his corner. . .only for Stan to get back up and ram Hotsuma face-first into a top turnbuckle!!! While the referee stepped toward them beginning a five-count, Stan went to ram Hotsuma’s head into the top turnbuckle once more. . ._

_. . .but Hotsuma hit Stan in the gut with an elbow!!! Hotsuma kept ramming his elbow into Stan’s abdomen until he Irish whipped the South Park Leader over the ropes. . .and knocked him onto the ringside floor in front of the announcer’s tables with a shoulder block!!!_

_“IT IS ABSOLUTE ANARCHY IN ALBERQUERQUE RIGHT NOW, SHAKE!!!” Frylock called. “The animosity between the South Park Four and the Knighthood of Assassins has come to a head here tonight!!!”_

_“They’ve barely confronted each other since the Knighthood ambushed the South Park Four, Frylock!” Shake added. “That’s given them PLENTY of time to let everything fester!!!”_

_As Hotsuma left the ring, the referee turned back to the action. . ._

_. . .and saw Tai hooking Scorpion’s legs. . .lifting him up for a double underhook suplex. . ._

_. . .but Scorpion hit Tai in the ribs with a knee to the gut, breaking the hold!!! Tai winced in pain as he backed up a bit, clenching his gut. . ._

_. . .until Scorpion took him down with a FIERCE clothesline!!! Scorpion then pulled Tai up and pressed his back against his chest. . .and crossed his arm against it, ready for the Scorpion Death Drop. . ._

_. . .but Tai backpedaled, sending Scorpion to hit a corner back-first!!! Scorpion winced with pain until Tai lifted Scorpion up. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM ONTO THE CENTER OF THE MAT WITH THE ALABAMA SLAM!!!_

_“And THIS time, Tai connects with the Alabama Slam!!!” Frylock called, as Tai pointed toward a corner. . .and climbed up the top rope, to cheers from the crowd!!!_

_“Injured knee and all, Tai is going up top!!!” Frylock declared, while Hotsuma and Stan were brawling in front of the announcer’s table!!!_  
  


_“I wish I had your eyesight, Frylock!!! THIS GODDAMN ASSHOLE IS IN MY WAY!!!!” yelled Shake, referring of course, to Hotsuma’s tall stature. The Knighthood Leader then GLARED at the outspoken color commentator. . ._

_. . .upon which, Stan Marsh took Hotsuma down with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away at his face with thunderous right hands!!!_

_  
“THERE YA GO!!!!” cheered Shake, while Tai stood on the top rope. . ._

_. . .sized Scorpion up. . ._

_. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDED THE TAI DIVE ONTO SCORPION!!!_

_  
“THE TAI DIVE CONNECTS!!!!” shouted Frylock, while Daffy Duck Irish whipped Cartman HARD into the steel steps on the ringside floor, causing the South Park Enforcer to collide into them with a sickening thud, and the steps to go flying!!! Meanwhile, Daffy saw Tai go for a cover in the ring!!! 1. . ._

_Daffy charged toward the apron. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .sliding into the ring. . ._

_. . .3!!!!_

_“DAFFY DIDN’T MAKE IT IN TIME!!!” Frylock declared, as he looked down at the mat while the bell rang!!!_

**_“The winners of this match. . .the team of STAN MARSH. . .ERIC CARTMAN, AND TAI KAMIYA!!!!”_ **

****

_“HAHAHA!!! So much for a strategist!!!” Shake scoffed, while Hotsuma charged into the ring after Tai. . .but Stan Marsh followed back into the ring behind him, holding the Knighthood leader in a Full Nelson lock in Tai’s direction while Daffy staggered up toward the XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .but Tai rolled out of the ring as Cartman slid into it, leaving the tag team champions surrounding Hotsuma, Daffy, and a rising Scorpion!!!_

_“Tai getting out of there before the Knighthood can get to him. . .while the South Park Four are ready for a FIGHT!!!!” Frylock declared, as the two teams stared each other down!!!_

_“Do the tag team champions have a DEATH WISH???” Shake wondered, as Kyle Broflovski ran past Tai Kamiya down the ramp and into the ring while the World Heavyweight Champion backed up the ramp. “Here comes Kyle Broflovski now to even the odds. . .how much did these kids stew???”_

_“They did enough to drive themselves, Shake. . .” Frylock said, as the three men stared each other down. . ._

_. . .until Kyle charged toward Hotsuma, only for the Knighthood Leader to take him down with the Akujiki!!!!_

_“And Kyle gets an Akujiki for his troubles!!!” Frylock exclaimed, before Scorpion and Daffy Duck brawled with Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman, while Hotsuma stepped away from the carnage, instead climbing onto a top rope. . .and staring down Tai Kamiya._

_“BUSINESS IS PICKING UP NOW!!!” Frylock shouted, while Scorpion was able to block a punch from Stan and nail him with a headbutt before Irish whipping him across the ring. . ._

_. . .charging toward him as he bounced back. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK DOWN THE SOUTH PARK LEADER WITH THE FATALITY!!!_

_“SCORPION LANDS THE FATALITY!!!” called Frylock, as Scorpion stood up. . ._

_. . .only to be kicked in the midsection. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED ONTO THE MAT WITH A SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!!!_

_  
“LOOK OUT!!!” yelled Shake, as Cartman stood up and looked down at Scorpion, shouting “RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!!!”_

_  
“Cartman fired BACK with the South Park Stunner!!! What a quick retaliation—“ Frylock said. . ._

_. . .until Daffy kicked Cartman in the midsection!_

_“—BUT LOOK AT DAFFY!!!” Frylock finished, as Daffy tied up Cartman’s arms. . ._

_. . .turned him around. . ._

_. . .BUT STAN TACKLED DAFFY DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS, BREAKING UP THE KILLSWITCH!!!!_

_“THANK GOD!!!! STAN SAVED CARTMAN FROM THE KILLSWITCH!!!” Frylock called, as Scorpion rose up to his feet, and clotheslined Stan and Cartman out of the ring!!!!_

_“Tai got the win, but tensions have damn near boiled over between the South Park Four and the Knighthood tonight. . .” Frylock stated, “. . .while the Knighthood Leader has his eyes set on what he wants in six days in the main event of Silver Lining. . .with Daffy in his corner! Bugs in Tai’s corner. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship on the line!”_

_While Stan and Cartman traded obscenities with Scorpion and Daffy, Tai raised the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt high above his head, never looking away from Hotsuma, who never stopped glaring daggers at him until the show transitioned back to the backstage area._

“So much chaos occurred during and after that six-man tag team match. . .” Frylock said. “. . .but what’s gonna happen when Sub-Zero enters the mix, and Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman put the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team titles on the line against the Knighthood of Assassins?”

 

“If the events of last Monday night were any indication, Frylock, it ain’t gonna be a wrestling match between those two teams. . .it’s gonna be a FIGHT.” Shake declared. “And when Bugs stands in Tai’s corner, he’ll have all his focus on Daffy. . .while Hotsuma and Tai will have one thing on their minds. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship.”

 

“You would think that a confrontation like that ended the last episode of Monday Night Massacre. . .but it didn’t.” Frylock said, as he turned to look into the camera. “That distinction goes to the eight-man tag team match that pitted Claude Speed, Tommy Vercetti, The Mask, and Kenny McCormick against Spongebob Squarepants, Mario, Sweet Tooth and Arthur Read! There was a lot of build up to that and the first-ever Silver Lining ladder match this Sunday, starting with Mimi Tachikawa catching up with Tommy Vercetti, who explained why he stormed away from the announcer’s table during Claude’s match against Spongebob the week before. . .

 

The show transitioned to Tommy and Claude’s dressing room, where Mimi Tachikawa stood in the doorway with a microphone in hand, and Claude was sitting in a chair listening to music.

_“Excuse me, Tommy Vercetti?” Mimi asked._

_“…what the hell do you want…?” Tommy wondered, stepping toward Mimi._

_“Uhhhh…….I just….wondered….why you left the announcer’s table during Claude’s match…..last…..week?” peeped Mimi, sweatdropping in fear._

_“Oh, I can answer that for ya….” Tommy replied, snatching the microphone out of Mimi’s hands. “….I left in a huff last week because……..I had BETTER things to do than listen to Master Shake spout off a bunch of shit that isn’t true. He implied that I haven’t done anything in this company that was memorable, or worth talking about enough to warrant any possibility of myself winning the Silver Lining ladder match this Sunday. . .well, I’m about to tell you. . .I’m a six-time XCW Hardcore Champion. I was a finalist in the first-ever March Majesty tournament. . .I won the 2014 Brawler of the Year award at the FWAs. . .and just last month. . .I took the legend of Spongebob Squarepants. . .and painted the streets of Liberty City with his blood, REVOLUTIONIZING THE STREET FIGHT AS WE KNOW IT! There is NO ONE in this company more tenacious than me, there is NO ONE more dangerous with a weapon than me. . .and there is NO ONE. . .that anyone should watch out for THIS SUNDAY. . .than me. . .ESPECIALLY Sweet Tooth. . .I’ve got a REAL bone to pick with him. . .”_

_“R—really?” Mimi asked. “M—may I ask why---“_

_“—you wanna talk about ladder matches? A long, LONG time ago, Sweet Tooth wanted NOTHING more than to fight in the ladder match for Riley Freeman’s Toon Hardcore Championship at Pride and Glory. . .so imagine my surprise when I find out that he PULLED OUT OF IT.” Tommy, said, turning away from Mimi to look into the camera. “What’s the matter, Needles? You didn’t wanna be a Hardcore Hero? Not the asskicker you used to be? Then again, that wouldn’t be surprising considering you’ve sold yourself out to Hotsuma, of all people. Answer me whenever you want to. . .and I’ll be ready to make you REGRET that decision. I’ll make EVERYONE regret crossing the likes of me after I’ve pulled that Silver Lining briefcase down from the rafters. . .and won the contract for that title shot. . .because MY NAME IS TOMMY VERCETTI. . .”_

_Tommy turned to look at Mimi Tachikawa, looking right into her wide, fearful eyes._

_“. . .and I’m here. . .to raise HELL.”_

_Tommy stepped out of the room, leaving Mimi alone with Claude. The Crestbearer of Sincerity then stepped toward Claude, tapping him on the shoulder._

_“Hey, Claude Speed. . .” Mimi said, before Claude took out his ear buds._

_“What’s up, Mimi?” Claude asked._

_“. . .do you have anything to say about why Tommy left ringside during your match last week, and with the Silver Lining ladder match only six days away, do you have anything you’d like to say about the match to anybody in the match?” Mimi asked. “And. . .most importantly, do you think you and Tommy will be able to co-exist?”_

_“Damn right we will!” Claude replied, standing up. “We’ve already talked about what happened last week, he said the same thing to me that he said to you. . .and we did wish each other good luck this Sunday, said may the better man win, and all that shit. . .but there IS one thing that I’d like to say. . .to ONE person in particular. . .”_

_Claude turned to look into the camera, staring into it with a menacing expression._

_“Arthur Read. . .”_

_The crowd ERUPTED into cheers upon hearing Claude say those two words._

_“. . .in case you haven’t noticed. . . . . .I’m BACK. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN about you. . .”_

_Claude stared angrily into the camera as the crowd began chanting, “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!” until the show transitioned to another part of the backstage area, where Mimi stood next to Arthur Read with a microphone in hand._

 

“Claude Speed and Tommy Vercetti weren’t the only wrestlers Mimi caught up with that were also in the Silver Lining ladder match.” Frylock narrated. “Mimi also interviewed the XCW World Television Champion, Arthur Read about his predicament for this coming Sunday. . .and I’m not just talking about the target on his back. . .”

_“Arthur Read. . .” Mimi said, “Tonight, you’re competing in an eight-man tag team match with all of the competitors in the Silver Lining ladder match this Sunday, but that ladder match is just one of the TWO matches you’re take part in at Silver Lining; you’re also defending the XCW World Television Championship against Double D! Do you think you’ll be able to survive the night?”_

_“What kind of question is that, Ms. Tachikawa?” Arthur responded. “I KNOW I’m going to last the night, and let me tell you why. . .through SMARTS. It’s how I got signed to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling in the first place, it’s how I became a General of the Rookie Revolution, and most importantly, it’s how I became the World Television Champion. Double D can put me down as much as he wants. . .but if you take a look at his career, he’s better off sticking to the tag team division. . .because if he wins any singles championship. . .he’ll let it get stolen! He won’t survive outside of his comfort zone, and he’ll suffer the same fate as the rest of his dork buddies against the Wild Dudes! As a role model. . .I take care of my championships. . .I fight fair and square. . .and I teach life lessons. The only lesson that Double D has ever taught. . .is how to SWINDLE unsuspecting children out of their money! He’s assisted with building crude stands that take advantage of their customers. . .and he and his friends resort to juvenile tactics to get what they want! But mark my words. . .Double D won’t get what he wants this Sunday. . .just as every competitor won’t get that briefcase in the ladder match. . .because I’ve proven I can survive outside of MY comfort zone. Because I didn’t win the First Blood match at Heatwave with WEAPONS. . .I won it with something that Double D doesn’t have. . .SMARTS. And it’s smarts that will keep this title around my waist. . .that will earn me the Silver Lining briefcase. . .and it’s smarts that will assure that this Sunday at Silver Lining, the Revolution. . .WILL be televised!”_

_Mimi chuckled. “It’s funny that you bring up the First Blood match at Heatwave. . .because Claude Speed IS in the Silver Lining ladder match. . .”_

_  
Arthur’s eyes widened as high as they could, while the crowd’s chants of “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!” could be heard in the background!_

_  
“. . .and earlier tonight, he said that he’s back, and that he hasn’t forgotten about you. . .do you have any response to that?”_

_Arthur stammered before finally saying, “. . .I think I left my headlights on. . .I gotta go!”_

_Arthur dashed out of the interview area, leaving Mimi behind._

_“Okay, bye, Arthur!!!” Mimi said, before furrowing her brow in confusion. “Wait a minute. . .is he old enough to drive?”_

_Mimi left the interview area until the show transitioned to the arena, where Tommy Vercetti, The Mask, and Claude Speed stood on the ring apron at one corner, while Spongebob, Sweet Tooth, and Arthur Read stood on the ring apron near the opposite corner. Mario stood in the ring near his team, while Kenny McCormick entered the ring and climbed on the top rope of a turnbuckle, raising a fist above his head._

“And that brings us to the main event of this week, the eight-man tag team match pitting Claude Speed, Tommy Vercetti, The Mask and Kenny McCormick against Arthur Read, Sweet Tooth, Mario and Spongebob Squarepants!” Frylock narrated. “This match didn’t devolve into chaos. . .there’s absolutely NO way. . .”

_The bell rang and the match began with Kenny McCormick and Mario standing across from each other in the ring, until they began pacing around the ring in a circle, never taking their eyes off each other. Eventually they met in the center of the ring and went for a tie-up, but Mario came out of it by putting Kenny in a waist-lock and taking him down with a belly-to-back takedown! Mario then slugged Kenny in the back of the head. . .before Kenny put Mario in a headlock and rammed his face into the mat! Kenny then pulled Mario up to his feet by the overalls and slugged him with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping him across the ring, then sliding under his legs as he bounced back, then leaping up as the Champion of Life bounced off the ropes in front of him. . .then took him down with a hurricanrana pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!!! Kenny then pulled Mario back up to his feet and Irish whipped him into a corner. . .only for Mario to counter it with an Irish whip of his own, sending Kenny into the corner. . .and right into the 3-Up Suplex!!! Mario went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out!!!_

_Mario pulled Kenny up by his coat hood and slapped him in the chest with a furious chop!!! Mario hit Kenny in the chest with chop after chop until he was driven against the ropes. Mario then backpedaled a bit before charging toward Kenny for a clothesline. . .but Kenny ducked under it and leapt up, knocking Mario onto the ring apron with a jumping dropkick!!! The Champion of Life then stumbled back into the ring over the second rope. . .only for Kenny to take him down with a crossbody block!!! Kenny went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!!! Kenny pulled Mario up. . .and received an eye rake for his troubles! Kenny stumbled around the ring in pain. . .until Mario Irish whipped him into his team’s corner. . .then charged toward him. . .and landed a running cannonball senton onto Kenny!!! Mario went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out!!! Mario groaned in disappointment before pulling Kenny up and tagging in Spongebob Squarepants._

_“And now Mario makes the first tag of the match, bringing in the self-proclaimed, ‘Sponge Suplex Machine’, Spongebob Squarepants!!!” Frylock said, as Mario stepped onto the ring apron while Spongebob hooked Kenny’s leg. . ._

_. . .and sent him FLYING across the ring with a T-Bone Suplex!!!_

_“Fantastic! We go from a washed-up wrestling icon past his prime to. . .a washed-up wrestling icon past his prime. Great strategy!” Shake said, dripping with sarcasm before Kenny sat up from the impact in a daze, and stumbled over to his corner, tagging in The Mask, to cheers from the crowd!!!_

_“. . .and an even BETTER strategy. . .bring in the untalented clowns who just want to crack jokes instead of wrestle. . .” cringed Shake, as The Mask screamed, “SSSSSMOKIN’!!!!” while hopping over all three ropes and charging toward Spongebob, hitting the Sponge Suplex Machine with a right hand before Irish whipping him across the ring, and taking him down with a swinging neckbreaker!!! The Mask then pulled Spongebob up to his feet before putting him in a headlock. . .giving him a noogie. . ._

_. . .but Spongebob elbowed him in the gut repeatedly to break the hold!!! Spongebob then slapped The Mask in the chest with a series of karate chops until he Irish whipped The Mask into a corner face-first. Spongebob then grabbed The Mask by the sides. . .and took him down with a back suplex!!! Spongebob then pulled The Mask back up, lifted him high above his head. . .and dropped him with a vertical suplex! Spongebob went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .The Mask kicked out!!!_

_“It’s good that the self-proclaimed TRUE Animation Icon has another moniker that he can finally live up to. . .but will it earn his team the win?” Frylock wondered, as Spongebob pulled The Mask up. . .and tossed him back-first into a corner. Spongebob dominated him with a barrage of karate chops before sitting him on the top rope._

_“Well, THIS is a suplex that may do just that!” declared Frylock, as Spongebob climbed up to the top rope. . ._

_. . .draped The Mask’s arm over his back. . ._

_. . .and lifted him up. . ._

_. . .or, he would have, if The Mask wasn’t relentlessly punching him in the chest!!!_

_“The Mask isn’t going down without a fight!” Frylock said, as The Mask continued hitting Spongebob. . .until he struck him with a European uppercut. . ._

_. . .that sent Spongebob falling off the corner, and hitting the mat face-up!!! The crowd began to cheer as The Mask sized Spongebob up while rising to a standing position. . ._

_. . .leaping off the top rope. . ._

_. . .singing, “IIIIIIIIII just wanna FLY. . .”_

_. . .AND LANDING THE HI-DE-HO ONTO SPONGEBOB’S STERNUM!!!_

_  
“AND THE MASK LANDED THE HI-DE-HO!!! WILL IT BE ENOUGH???” Frylock called, as The Mask went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .Spongebob kicked out!!! The Mask punched the mat in disappointment before pulling Spongebob up. . .and quickly dropping him to the mat with a snap suplex! But The Mask WASN’T through, as he pulled Spongebob up to a standing position. . ._

_. . .lifted him up. . ._

_. . .and dropped Spongebob on his legs with the Shin Breaker. . ._

_. . .or, he WOULD have, if Spongebob didn’t drop out of it behind him, landing on his feet! Spongebob then lifted The Mask onto his shoulders. . ._

_. . .and PLANTED HIM onto the mat with the Tidal Wave!!! Spongebob went for the cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .The Mask kicked out!!! Spongebob’s eye twitched with frustration!_

_“Spongebob landed the Tidal Wave onto The Mask, but it wasn’t enough! How will Spongebob put away Stanley “The Mask” Ipkiss in this meeting of two veterans?” Frylock wondered, as Spongebob pulled himself up to his feet, taunting The Mask to get up. Eventually, The Mask pulled himself up to his knees. . ._

_. . .upon which, Spongebob pulled him up for the Spongy Edge. . ._

_. . .but The Mask dropped out of it behind him! The Mask then tapped on Spongebob’s shoulder, prompting him to turn around. . ._

_. . .and The Mask swept his feet out from under him, then grabbed onto his legs!!!_

_  
“Oh no….not THIS again….” cringed Shake, while The Mask pointed at Mario, as if to say, “This is gonna be YOOOOOOOOU!!!!”….._

_. . .then spun Spongebob around with the Green Cyclone!!!_

_The crowd counted aloud as The Mask spun Spongebob off the mat, counting aloud to himself, saying, "One. . .MISSISSIPPI! Two. . .MISSISSIPPI! THREE. . .MISSISSIPPI!"_

_"The Mask wants Mario to get a good look at this Green Cyclone. . .because he’ll be on the receiving end of it at Silver Lining!” Frylock declared._

_"For Mario’s sake, I hope not. . .Mario’s ABOVE moves like this!!!" said Shake, as The Mask finally made it to TEN. . .Mississippi. . .before throwing Spongebob into his corner! The TRUE Animation Icon then stumbled up to his feet, and tagged in Sweet Tooth, who climbed over all three ropes, and stomped toward The Mask, who turned to look into a nearby camera._

_“Boy. . .he looks ANGRY. . .” The Mask said to the audience. . .before diving toward his corner and tagging in Tommy!!!_

_“TAG!!! YOU’RE IT!!!” cheered The Mask as he stepped onto the ring apron while Tommy cracked his knuckles and entered the ring._

_“And here comes the Harwood Butcher. . .” Frylock said. “Tommy’s been known to run his mouth at the wrong place and the wrong time. . .here’s hoping he can back up his words about himself and Sweet Tooth here tonight!”_

_Tommy and Sweet Tooth charged toward the center of the ring, the two of them trading a series of strikes before Sweet Tooth followed up one right hand with a MASSIVE clothesline that knocked Tommy down to the mat!_

_“Well, he’s off to a good start…” Frylock quipped. “He couldn’t back himself up last week at the announcer’s table, and he’s not gonna back himself up right now!”_

_Sweet Tooth then gripped Tommy by the collar before shouting, “I SOLD OUT, HUH???” right into his face. Sweet Tooth then pulled Tommy up to a standing position and tossed him into a nearby corner. The Twisted Metal mascot then charged toward Tommy and rammed into him with vicious shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Tommy fell to a seated position, then Sweet Tooth stood up and kicked the life out of it with several mudhole stomps!!! Sweet Tooth then pulled Tommy by the leg back to the center of the ring and lifted his leg up high. . .then rammed it down to the mat with a knee smash!!!! Tommy yelled in agonizing pain as he rolled onto his back, clenching his knee while Sweet Tooth chuckled. “Just like Kamiya…” he said, within earshot of Tommy. . ._

_. . .and the Harwood Butcher’s eye twitched while he pulled himself up to his feet, limped toward the Twisted Metal mascot, and slugged him upside the head with a THUNDEROUS right hand!!! Tommy then Irish whipped Sweet Tooth across the ring. . .waited for him to bounce back. . .and took him down with a Lou Thesz Press, and hammered away at his temples and face with VICIOUS right and left hands!!!_

_“And the Harwood Butcher, from out of nowhere, comes to life and is just beating the HELL out of the Twisted Metal mascot!!!” Frylock declared, as Tommy stood up with the fans on their feet, shouting obscenity after obscenity toward the fans, Sweet Tooth, Master Shake. . .and ANYONE within his field of vision. The Harwood Butcher then pulled Sweet Tooth up and slugged him with another right hand that sent Sweet Tooth reeling backward. Tommy then stepped toward him, looking for a tie-up. . ._

_. . .but Sweet Tooth CLOCKED Tommy in the face with a Big Boot!!!!_

_“BAH GAWD SHAKE THAT DAMN WELL NEARLY TOOK TOMMY’S HEAD OFF!!!” cringed Frylock, before Sweet Tooth went for the cover on Tommy! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!!! Sweet Tooth punched the mat in anger!_

_“Did it kick Tommy’s mouth off, by any chance?” Shake asked, while Sweet Tooth pulled Tommy up to a standing position by his collar, lifted him up. . .and took him down with the snake eyes on a nearby corner—no!!!_

_Tommy dropped out of it behind Sweet Tooth, causing the Twisted Metal mascot to hit the corner face-first!!! Sweet Tooth gathered his bearings as he turned around, stepped out of the corner. . ._

_. . .AND RIGHT INTO A STANDING SPINEBUSTER FROM TOMMY!!!_

_“SPINEBUSTER CONNECTS!!!! THE HARWOOD BUTCHER IS GOING FOR THE COVER!!!” Frylock shouted, as Tommy knelt down for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 SWEET TOOTH POWERED OUT!!! Tommy went FLYING off the cover, and hit the mat head and face-first while Sweet Tooth made it up to one knee!_

_“Sweet Tooth has more life than Tommy wanted him to. . .and now the Harwood Butcher better regroup FAST!!!” called Frylock, as Sweet Tooth pulled Tommy up by the hair, and grabbed him by the throat with both hands. . .but Tommy kicked him in the shin, breaking his grasp!!! Tommy then hit Sweet Tooth with a kick to the midsection. . .hooked his arms. . ._

_. . .and PLANTED HIM WITH THE DOUBLE ARM DDT!!! Tommy then gripped Sweet Tooth by the arm, pulling him over to a nearby corner._

_“Tommy knows it’s gonna take more than that to knock out the multiple time UWE X-Treme Champion. . .” Frylock informed. “But if there’s anyone that’ll do ANYTHING to win, it’s the Harwood Butcher!”_

_Tommy then rested Sweet Tooth’s masked face against the bottom turnbuckle. The Harwood Butcher then backpedaled to the opposite corner, raised a fist above his head. . ._

_. . .sprinted forward. . ._

_. . .and WENT for the Curb Stomp, but Sweet Tooth rolled out of the way, causing Tommy’s foot to collide into the bottom rung of the turnbuckle!!! Tommy clenched his foot in agonizing pain as he turned around. . ._

_. . .AND WAS LIFTED UP AND PLANTED ONTO THE MAT WITH A RUNNING PUMPHANDLE SLAM FROM SWEET TOOTH!!!!_

_“Tommy whiffed on the Curb Stomp, but Sweet Tooth capitalized with a pumphandle slam!!!” Frylock called, as both men were down in the center of the ring while the referee began a ten-count!!!_

_“Both men haven’t been in this match for very long, but they pulled out all the stops against each other. . .” Frylock said, as Sweet Tooth drug himself toward his corner, while Tommy staggered toward his corner, with Claude extending his arm out, hoping for a tag! “. . .and I know that I want to see them fight each other again, very, VERY soon!”_

_“There’s plenty more where that came from, and you’ll see it in the Silver Lining ladder match.” Shake assured. “But what you WON’T see is Tommy gain the victory. . .”_

_Tommy drug himself EVER closer to his corner. . .while the fans started chanting, “LET’S GO CLAUDE, LET’S GO!!!” and “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!”. . .stopping Tommy in his tracks. . ._

_“Wait a minute. . .what the hell is Tommy doing???” Frylock wondered, as Tommy seethed under his teeth. . .the growing frustrations of his stature inside Claude’s shadow rearing their ugly head. . ._

_“That face right there is the face of JEALOUSY, Frylock. . .” Shake declared, as Tommy’s expression grew more and more FERAL. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until Tommy shook his head back into reality, while Claude extended his hand out. . ._

_. . .reached for Tommy’s hand. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tag!!!_

_  
“AND HERE COMES LIBERTY CITY’S LUCIFER!!!” Frylock shouted, as the fans in the stands erupted into cheers!!!_

_“Claude Speed is ready to claim another soul and kick another ass!” Shake said, as Claude stepped into the ring while Sweet Tooth made the tag in his corner. . ._

_. . .TO ARTHUR READ!!!!_

_“OHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…..” foreboded Shake, while the crowd EXPLODED into gasps of excitement, and MORE chants of “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!!”….while Arthur looked on at Claude like he was about to get sick!_

_“I think Arthur sees his whole life flashing before his eyes right now. . .Claude’s gonna FINALLY get his hands on the boy who conned him out of the World Television Championship, and SCREWED him out of the Toon Hardcore Championship!!!” Frylock said, as Arthur slowly stepped into the ring. . ._

_“No he’s not, Frylock! Arthur has a GREAT strategy for this encounter! Just watch!” Shake said, as Arthur stepped in the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and IMMEDIATELY tagged Spongebob back in._

_  
“OH, COME ON!!!!” Frylock shouted with disgust, as Spongebob entered the ring, mouthing, “What the heck?”…while Arthur slid under the bottom rope and ran toward the timekeeper’s booth!_

_“YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!! ARTHUR READ IS RUNNING AWAY SCARED!!!” Frylock said, while Claude could do nothing but stare Arthur down with a scowl of disgust._

_“No he’s not, Frylock!” insisted Shake. “He doesn’t want to give away his strategy of fighting Claude at Silver Lining! He’s keeping everybody in that ring guessing! It’s just like Arthur said, he fights with SMARTS!”_

_“He’s fighting with COWARDICE if you ask me. . .SOME CHAMPION YOU ARE!!!” Frylock shouted in Arthur’s direction, as he collected his championship belt from the timekeeper. Meanwhile, Claude stared Arthur down. . ._

_. . .until Spongebob charged toward Claude, and took him down with a clothesline!!!_

_  
“AND SPONGEBOB FROM OUTTA NOWHERE TAKES CLAUDE DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!! HE NEVER SAW IT COMING!!!!” called Frylock._

_“What do you want the referee to do, Frylock? Call timeout?” Shake quipped, as he made his way up the ramp to MASSIVE boos from the crowd. . ._

_. . .until someone with a sock on his head got up from a seat and LEAPT onto the barricade!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!!” Frylock shouted, as he recognized the sock-headed man as. . ._

_“DOUBLE D!!! IT’S DOUBLE D!!!!” he yelled. “DOUBLE D IS STANDING UP FOR HIS FALLEN FRIENDS TONIGHT!!!”_

_Double D then leapt off the barricade. . .AND TOOK ARTHUR DOWN WITH A DIVING SPEAR!!!_

_“That’s the second time in as many weeks that the Sockhead, Double D has ambushed Arthur!!!” Frylock informed, as Double D kept hammering away on Arthur’s head and face with right hands!!! “If he keeps up the surprises, we’re gonna have a new World Television Champion after Silver Lining!!!”_

_“WHAT THE HELL IS DOUBLE D THINKING??? THIS IS UNSPORTSMANLIKE!!!” Shake yelled in disgust while Double D grabbed a prone Arthur by the shirt and pulled him up before leaping up himself. . ._

_. . .AND SENDING HIM DOWN THE RAMP WITH A FRANKENSTEINER!!!! Arthur rolled down the ramp. . .UNTIL HE ENDED UP LAYING AGAINST THE RING APRON FACING THE RAMP IN A CRUMBLED HEAP!!!_

_“THIS NEEDS TO STOP!!!! HE’S INCAPACITATED!!!” Shake pleaded, while Double D stepped back to the backstage area, nodding in satisfaction. Meanwhile, in the ring, Spongebob had the Krabby Lock locked in on Claude in the center of the ring!!!_

_  
“This is the second time in as many weeks that Claude has found himself in this precarious position. . .” Frylock informed. “. . .will he fight his way out of it again, or will the TRUE Animation Icon gain the victory this time around?”_

_Spongebob wrenched onto the hold, and Claude screamed in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked Claude if he wanted to quit. Claude shook his head no as Spongebob let out a scream of intensity! Liberty City’s Lucifer inched closer to the ropes, with Spongebob only intensifying the hold more and more! Claude extended his hand out. . .inched closer to the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until The Mask entered the ring and broke up the submission hold with a kick to Spongebob’s face!_

_“And The Mask saves his fellow anti-hero!” Frylock said, as The Mask returned to the ring apron, while Spongebob pulled himself up with the ropes, stared down The Mask with an intimidating glare (by Spongebob’s standards, anyway…), and turned around to face Claude. . ._

_. . .WHO TOOK HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A VICIOUS SPEAR!!!_

_“GOOD LORD THAT SPEAR MAY HAVE TORN SPONGEBOB IN HALF!!!” Frylock cringed, as Claude crawled on top of Spongebob for the cover, barely hooking the leg 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 MARIO BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!!! Claude rose up from the cover but couldn’t get to Mario before he made it back to the apron. Claude then turned around to face Spongebob. . .who literally SLAPPED the taste out of his mouth, to MASSIVE boos from the crowd!!!_

_  
“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!! THAT WAS NOTHING BUT DISRESPECTFUL!!!” cringed Frylock, as Spongebob slapped Claude across the face on his other cheek, before pressing his chest against his. . ._

_. . .and sending him FLYING across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex!!! Spongebob then pulled Claude by the arms back to the center of the ring before going for another cover!!! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.75 KENNY MCCORMICK BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT WITH A SENTON BOMB!!!_

_“The South Park Extremist lives up to his moniker by breaking up the three-count with that high-risk maneuver!” Frylock called, as Spongebob charged toward Kenny, going for a waist-lock. . .but Kenny knocked Spongebob into next week with a spinning back kick!!! Spongebob reeled toward Claude in a daze. . ._

_. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN TO THE MAT BY A GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB FROM LIBERTY CITY’S LUCIFER!!!!_

_“With the assist from Kenny McCormick, Claude Speed is back in the driver’s seat of this tag team matchup!!!” Frylock said, as Claude went for the cover! “Will it be enough???”_

_  
The referee made the count 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.9999999999999999 SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT!!!! Claude couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“OH MY GOD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT???” Frylock shouted, as Claude sat from the cover, then made his way up to a standing position. . ._

_. . .and backed into a corner, waiting for Spongebob to get up!!!_

_“And Claude is signaling that the end is near. . .” Frylock declared, as the Sponge Suplex Machine staggered up to his knees. . .then slowly rose to a standing position. . .upon which, Claude charged toward Spongebob. . ._

_. . .moved his legs in a bicycle motion. . ._

_. . .but Spongebob spun out of the way, evading the Bicycle Kick!!! Claude stopped as he went too far. . .and received a back rake for his troubles!!! Claude winced in pain until Spongebob Irish whipped him toward his corner. . ._

_. . .upon which, Claude accidentally knocked Kenny off the ring apron, his head COLLIDING into the barricade!!!!_

_“OOOOOOOH!!!! KENNY TOOK A BAD SPILL!!!” cringed Frylock. “THAT had to hurt!!!”_

_Claude then stumbled back around to face Spongebob. . ._

_. . .who lifted him onto his shoulders. . ._

_. . .and took HIM down to the mat with the Tidal Wave!!!_

_“This time, Claude feels the effects of the Tidal Wave!!!” Frylock called. “Will Spongebob earn the victory???” Spongebob fell on top of Claude for the cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.99999999999999 CLAUDE BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!! Spongebob repeatedly punched the mat out of so much pent-up frustration. . ._

_. . .until he gripped Claude by the hair. . ._

_. . .and pulled Liberty City’s Lucifer up to a standing position._

_“From the look on Spongebob’s face. . .he wants nothing more than to end this match.” Frylock declared. “Spongebob is thinking that the end is near for this fight, and for Claude!”_

_Spongebob then kicked Claude HARD in the midsection. . ._

_. . .turned him around. . .and ran across the mat, going for the Spongy Edge. . ._

_. . .but Claude slipped out of it, landing behind Spongebob and running toward the opposing team’s corner!!! Spongebob turned around, following Claude, going for a clothesline. . ._

_. . .but Claude spun out of the way, causing Spongebob to hit Sweet Tooth and knock him off the apron, onto the ringside floor below!!!_

_“DOWN GOES SWEET TOOTH!!! CLAUDE PLAYED A TRICK ON SPONGEBOB!!!” Frylock shouted, as Spongebob turned around. . ._

_. . .AND ATE THE BICYCLE KICK FROM CLAUDE!!!_

_  
“AND THE BICYCLE KICK CONNECTS!!!!” Frylock called, as Claude pulled Spongebob back into the center of the ring for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .3!!!!_

_  
“AND CLAUDE GAINS THE VICTORY FOR HIMSELF AND HIS TEAM!!!” Frylock shouted, as the bell rang!_

**_“The winners of this match. . .the team of Kenny McCormick. . .Stanley Ipkiss; The Mask. . .Tommy Vercetti. . .and CLAUDE SPEED!!!!”_ **

****

_The referee raised Claude’s arm in victory as he stood up to his feet._

_“What a victory for Claude, Tommy, Stanley and—WAIT A MINUTE!!! LOOK AT KENNY!!!” Frylock yelled. . ._

_. . .BEFORE KENNY MCCORMICK LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE BEHIND CLAUDE AND DROPKICKED HIM IN THE BACK!!!_

_“The South Park Extremist just betrayed his team member!!!” Frylock yelled._

_“With the match over, they don’t have to be teammates anymore!” Shake said. “Now it’s every man for himself, just as it’ll be this Sunday!!!”_

_Claude reeled forward, hitting the ropes. . ._

_. . .CAUSING HIS HEAD AND ARMS TO DRAPE OVER THE MIDDLE ROPE!!!_

_  
“Oh no. . .oh my God!!!” screamed Frylock, as Kenny raised a fist above his head. . ._

_. . .while running toward a pole. . .gripping onto it. . ._

_. . .AND NAILING CLAUDE IN THE FACE WITH THE 303!!!_

_“THE 303 CONNECTS!!! KENNY MCCORMICK JUST HIT THE 303 ON CLAUDE!!!” Frylock yelled, as Claude fell onto his back in the center of the ring. Kenny then leapt onto the top rope. . ._

_. . .jumped off it toward Claude for a springboard splash. . ._

_“Eh, everybody’s doing it. . .” The Mask said. . ._

_. . .BEFORE MEETING KENNY WITH A KNEE TO THE GUT!!!_

_“AND NOW THE MASK IS GETTING INTO THE MIX!!!” Frylock yelled, while The Mask pulled Kenny up to his feet. . ._

_. . . gripped Kenny’s waistband. . .pulled his Mr. Hanky themed underwear over his head. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH THE SMOKIN’ END!!!_

_“OOOOOOOOH KENNY GOT A TASTE OF THE SMOKIN’ END!!!” screamed Frylock, while The Mask said, “Smoooooooooooth. . .”_

_. . .until Spongebob kicked him in the midsection. . .lifted him up. . ._

_. . .ran forward. . ._

_. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE SPONGY EDGE!!!!_

_“AND NOW THE SPONGY EDGE!!!” called Frylock. “IT IS ABSOLUTE PANDEMONIUM HERE IN ALBERQUERQUE!!!”_

_Spongebob glared down at The Mask. . .until Tommy nailed Spongebob in the face with a right hand, but the Sponge Suplex Machine retaliated with a right hand of his own!!! While the two of them were brawling, Mario climbed up to the top rope. . ._

_. . .sized The Mask up. . .then leapt off the top rope. . ._

_. . .AND STUCK THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH!!!_

_“In recent weeks, The Mask has been on Mario’s last nerve. . .but tonight, Mario got the last word in their rivalry before the pay-per-view. . .meanwhile Tommy and Spongebob are at each other’s throats yet again!!!” Frylock shouted._

_Mario rose up from the Super Mario Splash, selling his ribs while screaming “YOU WON’T A-WIN A-THAT BRIEFCASE WITH ME IN THIS A-RING THIS A-SUNDAY!!! I’M A-THE CHAMPION OF LIFE—“_

_\--UNTIL SUDDENLY, CLAUDE SPEED TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS, THEN HAMMERED AWAY AT HIS FACE WITH RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS!!! Meanwhile, Spongebob and Tommy were still trading vicious right hands. . ._

_. . .until Tommy caught Spongebob off-guard with a surprise LEFT hand, sending Spongebob reeling backward from all the impacts and bumps he had received throughout the match. Spongebob then stumbled toward Tommy. . ._

_. . .who hooked his arms. . ._

_. . .lifted him up. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH THE VERCETTI DRIVER, TO A MASSIVE POP FROM THE FANS!!!!_

_“VERCETTI DRIVER TO SPONGEBOB!!!! THE TRUE ANIMATION ICON STILL HASN’T FORGOTTEN HOW THAT FELT!!!” Frylock declared as Spongebob rolled out of the ring, while Claude pulled Mario up to his feet by the overalls and went for a right hand. . .but Mario caught it and kneed Claude in the midsection! Mario then pulled Claude up for a rolling suplex. . ._

_. . .but Claude dropped out of it behind the Champion of Life!!! Claude shoved Mario across the ring. . .waited for him to bounce back. . ._

_. . .AND KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD WITH THE BICYCLE KICK TO AN EVEN BIGGER POP FROM THE FANS!!!_

_“BICYCLE KICK AGAIN, THIS TIME TO THE CHAMPION OF LIFE!!!” called Frylock. “These two men are putting on one hell of a show, and they’ll create even MORE chaos with ladders in the equation at Silver Lining!!!”_

_Tommy observed Claude hit the Bicycle Kick. . .and watched Mario roll out of the ring as he looked his best friend in the eye, bewildered, while the fans chanted, “FIGHT CLAUDE FIGHT!!!! FIGHT CLAUDE FIGHT!!!!”_

_“Tommy looks like he’s about to throw up!” Shake mocked. “What’s the matter, buddy? Feel insecure???”_

_“I wish I knew what to tell you, Shake. . .” Frylock said, as Tommy looked around the ringside area. . .and saw Arthur struggling to pull himself up to his feet from the beating he took from Double D!_

_“Wait a minute. . .ARTHUR’S still out here!!! He’s gonna give ‘im to Claude. . .and deliver the First PBS Kid the punishment that he deserves!!!” Frylock declared, as Tommy pulled Arthur by the arms under the bottom rope. . .and INTO the ring!!! Tommy then stared Arthur into his glasses. . .before hooking HIS arms. . ._

_. . .lifting him up. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH THE VERCETTI DRIVER, TO A HUGE POP FROM THE FANS!!!_

_“Well. . .THAT works, too. . .” Frylock said, as Claude turned to look at his friend, with a little bit of confusion._

_  
“GIMME A BREAK!!! THE WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION DIDN’T DESERVE THAT!!! WE ALL KNOW TOMMY DID THAT JUST TO TRY TO ONE-UP CLAUDE!!!!” Shake yelled unintelligibly, as Claude and Tommy stepped to the center of the ring, having an inaudible conversation._

_“I wish I knew what to think about this situation, Shake. . .” Frylock said, as Claude took Tommy’s hand. . ._

_. . .and raised his arm up above his head, to cheers from the crowd!_

_“. . .but if Claude thinks everything’s okay. . .it’s okay!” finished Frylock, as Claude’s music hit, dominating the entire arena._

_“Claude said earlier tonight that he and Tommy Vercetti if there would be any hard feelings about what happens during the Silver Lining ladder match this Sunday, and by God, he’s standing by it!” Frylock declared. “He trusts Tommy more than anyone else in this company. . .with the same tenacity, aggression, and lust for violence, there’s nobody else like these two in XCW, and I have a feeling it will be one of these two men. . .Liberty City’s Lucifer, or The Harwood Butcher, to leave King’s Landing with the Silver Lining briefcase this Sunday!”_

_“Have you FORGOTTEN the temper Tommy has, Frylock???” Shake shouted. “He almost bit my head off last week on commentary. . .I’d be AFRAID of the Harwood Butcher if I were anybody in that ladder match this Sunday---“_

_Claude and Tommy still celebrated with the fans in front of them from the ring. . ._

_. . .BUT WERE UNAWARE THAT SWEET TOOTH HAD COME BACK INTO THE RING, AND WAS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND THEM!!!_

_“---EXCEPT FOR THAT GUY!!!!” finished Shake, as Sweet Tooth waited for Claude and Tommy to turn around. . ._

_. . .BEFORE HE GRABBED THEM BY THE THROAT!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!! SWEET TOOTH CAME BACK UP!!! SWEET TOOTH IS ABOUT TO TAKE THEM FOR A RIDE—“ Frylock cried, as Sweet Tooth glared into the eyes of Claude and Tommy. . ._

_. . .before lifting them up. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING THEM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!!!!_

_“CLAUDE AND TOMMY WERE JUST CHOKESLAMMED ALL THE WAY TO HELL!!!!” yelled Frylock, as Sweet Tooth glared at the crowd, with a sadistic expression behind his mask._

_“Good God!” Shake interjected. “If there’s one person they CAN’T count out. . .it’s SWEET TOOTH!”_

_Sweet Tooth pointed up at the Silver Lining briefcase hanging high above the ring, while staring down the booing fans._

_“Or will THIS be the scene this Sunday??? Will the Knighthood of Assassins take over Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling?” Frylock wondered. “Will Sweet Tooth be the first man to win the Silver Lining briefcase???”_

_Sweet Tooth stared into the camera, his glare never letting up until the show transitioned back to the backstage area._

“And so, the go-home episode of Monday Night Massacre before Silver Lining ended on a sour note for Claude Speed and Tommy Vercetti, and on a high note for the Knighthood of Assassins. . .but even then, Shake, after what went down after that hellacious tag team match, I have no idea what to expect in the first-ever Silver Lining ladder match this Sunday!”

 

“Neither do I, Frylock!” agreed Shake. “All eight men did a number on each other! Mario still has a beef to settle with The Mask, while the clown wants to put him through the Green Cyclone. . .Claude and Tommy are….somehow…STILL on good terms, Sweet Tooth wants to win the briefcase for the Knighthood while helping them wipe out the South Park Four and Kenny McCormick, Arthur doesn’t want to run into Claude, Spongebob still wants to live up to his new nicknames. . .there’s A LOT going on in this match. . .and all I know is that I can’t wait for it all to go down!”

 

“The same can be said for the entire pay-per-view, Shake. . .so without further ado, let’s take a look at what we’re in store for this Sunday at Silver Lining!” Frylock said, as the show transitioned to a series of graphics of each competitor in each pay-per-view match. “FIRST, we have the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, fighting for the XCW Hardcore Championship against Solid Snake.”

 

“Solid Snake has taken the Hardcore Championship from Rolf to put it in possession of the Knighthood of Assassins. . .” Shake said. “Will it remain with the destructive stable, or will the Son of a Shepherd regain and be able to bring SOME form of prestige to the Hardcore Championship?”

 

“We also have Mordecai and Rigby of the Wild Dudes squaring off in their debut match against Ed and Eddy of D-Generation Ed!” Frylock said.

 

“There’s a LOT of bad blood between these teams already. . .and Mordecai and Rigby haven’t even had their debut match yet!” Shake informed. “Needless to say, what these two teams will do to each other is STILL unpredictable!”

 

“’The First PBS Kid, Arthur Read, puts the XCW World Television Championship on the line against Double D!” Frylock said.

 

“Arthur Read may have gotten a beating during the last episode, but Double D is gonna get what he deserves for all his ambushes this Sunday when the title is on the line, because the Revolution will be televised!” Shake declared.

  
“And the XCW Women’s Championship will be defended, as Sora Takenouchi squares off against the number one contender’s tournament winner, Yuna!” Frylock informed.

 

“Yuna’s gotten off by the skin of teeth throughout this entire tournament. . .” Shake dismissed. “But will she FINALLY prove me wrong, or will Sora Takenouchi prove to be too big of a challenge for the Cosmos Summoner?”

 

“Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh of the South Park Four will also put their Tag Team titles on the line against Scorpion and Sub-Zero of the Knighthood of Assassins!” Frylock said.

 

“After they were ambushed at the beginning of this month, the South Park Four have had a bone to pick with the Knighthood. . .” foreboded Shake. “Will Stan and Cartman defend their belts like they always have, or will Scorpion and Sub-Zero be too powerful to overcome?”

 

“XCW Silver Lining will also feature Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling’s first-ever Silver Lining ladder match! Claude Speed, Tommy Vercetti, The Mask, Kenny McCormick, Mario, Spongebob Squarepants, Arthur Read, and Sweet Tooth. . .eight superstars will fight to climb for one briefcase that contains a contract for a future shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!” Frylock informed.

 

“There’s so much going on with each superstar in this match. . .” said Shake. “. . .that it’s too hard to pick a winner! A better question to ask would be. . .who’s going to survive with all their teeth intact?”

 

“And finally, in the main event. . .Tai Kamiya puts the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship on the line with Bugs Bunny in his corner, against the leader of the Knighthood of Assasins, Hotsuma. . .with the Knighthood Strategist, Daffy Duck, at ringside.”

  
“The Knighthood of Assassins has embarked on a quest to conquer Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .but Tai Kamiya, bad leg and all, is standing up to them, and still up for the challenge!” Shake said. “But will Tai be resting comfortably on a month-long break. . .or will Hotsuma take advantage of that injured knee, and put Tai on a PERMANENT break from wrestling?”

 

“It all goes down this Sunday at Silver Lining in King’s Landing, sponsored by Duff Beer! You can’t get enough of that wonderful Duff!” Frylock said, as the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Frylock and Shake sat on barstools. “Until then, for all of us at XCW, and for Master Shake, I’m Frylock, ‘The Voice of XCW’! Thank you for joining us on this edition of XCW Rewind, and we’ll see you at Silver Lining!”

 

Frylock and Shake stared confidently into the camera until the lights dimmed, and the show went off the air.

 

Results

 

Daffy Duck will stand in Hotsuma’s corner at Silver Lining, while Bugs Bunny will be in Tai Kamiya’s corner

Sub-Zero and Solid Snake defeated Ed and Rolf in a Tag Team match

Solid Snake defeated Rolf (c) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion

Yuna defeated Casey Lynch to win the number one contendership for the XCW Women’s Championship

Tai Kamiya, Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh defeated Hotsuma, Daffy Duck, and Scorpion in a six-man tag team match

Claude Speed, Tommy Vercetti, The Mask, and Kenny McCormick defeated Spongebob Squarepants, Mario, Sweet Tooth and Arthur Read in an eight-man tag team match

 

Silver Lining Card

 

Rolf vs. Solid Snake (c) for the XCW Hardcore Championship

Ed and Eddy (of D-Generation Ed) vs. Mordecai and Rigby

Double D vs. Arthur Read (c) for the XCW World Television Championship

Sora Takenouchi (c) vs. Yuna for the XCW Women’s Championship

The South Park Four (Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman)(c) vs. The Knighthood of Assassins (Scorpion and Sub-Zero) for the XCW Tag Team Championship

Claude Speed vs. Tommy Vercetti vs. The Mask vs. Arthur Read vs. Kenny McCormick vs. Sweet Tooth vs. Mario vs. Spongebob Squarepants in the first-ever Silver Lining Ladder Match

Tai Kamiya (c)(w/Bugs Bunny) vs. Hotsuma (w/Daffy Duck) for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship

 

**And like that. . .**

**. . .IT’S DONE!!! SILVER LINING IS COMING UP, BAY-BAY!!!!! As always, let me know if something didn’t make sense, if I made a continuity error, or if anyone was out of character.**

**The first part of XCW Silver Lining will come sometime next month, but until then, please predict the pay-per-view! There MAAAAAAY be a prize for the winner of the prediction contest. . .not for certain, but if I came up with something to give last time, I’ll find something this time. XD**

**Until 2016, and the beginning of Silver Lining, please READ/PREDICT/REVIEW, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!**


	46. XCW Silver Lining: Part 1

**And now. . .here’s part one of XCW Silver Lining!!! I only own my championships.**

  
“Don’t Wanna Fight” by Alabama Shakes played as pyro exploded on the titantron, after which thousands of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.

 

“Greetings from King’s Landing in the land of Westeros, ladies and gentlemen!” Frylock greeted. “The air is electric here in the Capital of the Seven Kingdoms, because tonight, history will be made once again in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. While the Knighthood of Assassins vies to claim three championships in their name, eight men will put each other through hell and back again in XCW’s first-ever Silver Lining ladder match, and up there, hanging from the rafters, is what they’ll be fighting for: the Silver Lining briefcase! And inside that briefcase is a contract for a match with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship that can be used at any time, any place! Hello again, everybody! I’m Frylock, ‘The Voice of XCW’ with Master Shake at ringside, and Shake, I’m confident in my belief that all eight men in that ladder match will have their eyes on that prize here tonight!”

 

“Yeah, they certainly will, but one of the men in that match is Sweet Tooth. . .” said Shake, “. . .but believe me, the last thing I wanna see is him, or Hotsuma, or ANY member of the Knighthood leaving King’s Landing with any of their respective titles or prizes once this night is said and done!”

 

“I’m right there with you, Shake. . .but we’re about to find out if one championship will stay in their possession in our opening contest!” Frylock said, as the show cut to the ring, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

 

**“The following contest is a Hardcore match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Championship!”**

 

"IT'S ROLF! (It's Rolf!)"

X-Pac's DX theme played to cheers from the crowd as Rolf stepped onto the stage with a wheelbarrow full of weapons, then did the DX crotch chop three times, with pyro going off in unison each time. Once the pyro settled, the Son of a Shepherd pushed the wheelbarrow down the ramp.

"Introducing first. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . . .from Peach Creek. . .he is the Son of a Shepherd. . .ROLF!"

“The Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, is a man on a mission here tonight!” Frylock said. “This time, a month ago at Heatwave, Rolf fought Kenny all over the ring, the backstage area, and even outside the arena on his way to obtaining the XCW Hardcore Championship. . .only for Solid Snake and the Knighthood of Assassins to ambush him the following night, and take the Hardcore title from him before his reign could even begin! The Son of a Shepherd did not take a liking to that one bit, and ever since then has vowed to not only regain the XCW Hardcore Championship, but also restore the belt’s prestige, and bring honor and glory to the division’s legacy in addition to his own!”

Once Rolf made it to the foot of the ramp, he leapt onto the ring apron, then a top turnbuckle, and posed toward the fans.

“I’m rooting for this kid all the way, don’t get me wrong, Frylock. . .” Shake said, “. . .but as talented as he is, he’s certainly off his rocker! From the way he talked to us a couple weeks ago, he’s gotta be from another PLANET, let alone another country! But that gives him an edge that nobody else in this company has; Rolf ain’t afraid to put his body on the line, or go for the high-risk maneuvers, and against Solid Snake tonight, he’s gonna have to do just that!”

Rolf stepped off the ring apron and looked up the ramp in anticipation until. . .

. . .”Amerika” by Rammstein played, as Solid Snake walked down the ramp to a VERY negative reaction from the crowd with the Hardcore title belt draped over his shoulder, and a kendo stick in his hand.

“And his opponent. . .representing the Knighthood of Assassins. . .from the United States of America. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”

“This crowd is telling Solid Snake EXACTLY how they feel about him, and I can imagine it’s the same way they feel about the rest of the Knighthood!” Frylock said. “But the Metal Gear Icon had the most success in XCW before the group was even founded; he was the first-ever unofficial Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion, he was in the first-ever March Majesty tournament, and including the previous reign mentioned, was a two-time Hardcore Champion. But since joining the Knighthood, he’s won the Hardcore title two more times, and looks to keep it in the possession of the Knighthood well after Silver Lining!”

 

Solid Snake entered the ring above the second rope and stared Rolf down, never looking away from him as he stepped into his corner.

 

“But this time, Solid Snake has to beat Rolf in a sanctioned match!” Shake added. “When Solid Snake won the Hardcore Championship from Rolf at the beginning of XCW’s New Era, he did it by using the title’s 24/7 rule, and not only ambushed him with the rest of the Knighthood backstage, but he did it off-screen, when nobody, not even the fans could see it! In fact, EVERY TIME Snake has won the title, he’s had the 24/7 rule in his back pocket! But here tonight, Snake has to prove that he can keep the belt around his waist in a sanctioned Hardcore match, with no holds barred and falls counting anywhere! And with a kid like Rolf as angry as he is, I got a feeling this is going to GO. . .ANYWHERE!”

 

The bell rang and the match began with Rolf and Solid Snake charging toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring, upon which Snake swung his kendo stick. . .but Rolf slid under Snake’s legs and dropkicked him in the back, sending the Metal Gear Icon against the ropes in front of him. Snake bounced back. . .right into a Frankensteiner from Rolf that sent Snake flying through the ropes onto the ring apron. . .but Snake latched onto the middle rope before he could make impact with the ringside floor! Snake pulled himself onto the ring apron. . .only for Rolf to kick Snake onto the ringside floor with a baseball slide! Rolf then slid out of the ring under the bottom rope and pulled Snake up by the headband before slugging him in the face with a right hand, then ramming him face first onto the edge of the barricade, which sent him down to the ground! Rolf went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out! Rolf then pulled Snake up to his feet and Irish whipped him right into a set of steel steps, with Snake colliding into them with a sickening thud! Rolf went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out!!!

 

Rolf pulled Snake up to his feet only for the Metal Gear Icon to slug him in the temple with a right hand. Snake then shoved Rolf forward, sending him ribs-first into the ring apron. Snake then grabbed Rolf by the hair and rammed him face-first onto the ring apron before taking him down with a swinging neckbreaker on the floor! Snake went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!!! Snake grimaced with annoyance before pulling Rolf up and Irish whipping him down the floor. . .only for Rolf to counter it with an Irish whip of his own. . .but Solid Snake countered THAT with a drop toe hold onto the steel steps! Snake went for another cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!!!

 

“So far, these two men are using their fists rather than weapons. . .” Frylock said. “But after that drop toe hold, it’s gotta be a matter of time before this match becomes destructive!”

 

Snake pulled Rolf up by the hair and stomped toward the Spanish announcer’s table and rammed the Son of a Shepherd head and face first into the top of it, prompting the Spanish commentators, Fernando Martinez and Speedy Gonzalez to back away from it. Snake then pulled Rolf down the ringside floor and took him down with a side headlock takedown before stepping around the ring to grab his kendo stick. Snake made his way back around to Rolf. . .

 

. . .who nailed him right between the eyes with a set of steel steps!!!! Rolf then threw the steel steps down to the ground and went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out!!! Rolf rose up from the cover with a scowl before stepping away from Snake, and grabbing another set of steel steps, then setting it down well in front of the Metal Gear Icon. The Son of a Shepherd then stepped toward the set of steel steps he used to knock down Snake and lifted them up, taking them with him before setting them next to the first set of steps. Rolf then looked under the ring apron and pulled out a steel chair, unaware that Solid Snake was sitting up behind him. . .

 

. . .but the Son of a Shepherd knocked him back down with a chair shot to the head!!! Rolf then unfolded the chair and set it on the concrete before grabbing Snake by the headband and pulling him up to sit onto the chair.

 

“Rolf has an elaborate set up going on right in front of us. . .what’s the Son of a Shepherd going to do here?” Frylock wondered, as Rolf strode away from Snake, passing the steel steps until he stood against the barricade.

 

“I gotta feeling that he’s gonna FLY!!!” Shake declared, as Rolf sprinted forward. . .

 

. . .ran up the steps. . .

 

. . .leapt off for a front flip senton. . .

 

. . .BUT SNAKE ROLLED OFF THE CHAIR, CAUSING ROLF TO HIT THE CHAIR AND DESTROY IT!!!! The crowd cringed and shouted “OHHHHHH!!!” as Rolf made the impact, and laid in the remains of the chair in a crumbled heap!!!

 

“OOOOOOOOH!!!! GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! The Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, went for paydirt, but Snake rolled out of harm’s way!” Frylock cringed, as Rolf stumbled up to his feet, trying to shake himself back to reality. . .

 

. . .UNTIL SNAKE CLOCKED HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH HIS KENDO STICK, KNOCKING HIM DOWN AND BUSTING HIM OPEN!!!

 

“BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!! THE METAL GEAR ICON, AND ASSASSIN OF THE KNIGHTHOOD IS IN TOTAL CONTROL!!!” shouted Frylock. “AND NOW ROLF IS BUSTED OPEN!!!”

 

“GOD DAMMIT!!! ROLF’S RECKLESSNESS GOT THE BEST OF HIM!!!” screamed Shake, as Snake went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!!!

 

“THANK GOD ROLF KICKED OUT!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as Snake grabbed Rolf by the hair. . .

 

. . .but the Son of a Shepherd headbutted Snake in the face!!!

 

“Rolf DID kick out. . .and BOY, does he look angry. . .” Shake foreboded, as an incensed Rolf hit Snake in the face with a combination of several punches that backed up the Metal Gear Icon against the barricade. Rolf then Irish whipped Snake down the ringside floor. . .until Snake collided into Rolf’s wheelbarrow of weapons, knocking it over!!! Rolf then gripped one hand onto Snake’s headband while reaching down with the other one and picking up a baking sheet. Rolf then pulled Snake up to a standing position. . .and NAILED HIM in the face with a baking sheet!!! Snake reeled toward the ramp in a daze. . .until Rolf whacked him in the back with the baking sheet again, sending Snake falling down to his knees at the foot of the ramp. Rolf then stepped toward Snake, raising the now-bent baking sheet high above his head. . .

 

. . .but Snake popped up to his feet and nailed Rolf in the chin with an uppercut!!! Rolf wavered backwards a bit up the ramp while Snake sold his lower back.

 

“Snake played possum, but the Son of a Shepherd got more than a few licks in!” Frylock said. “Who will gain the upper hand???”

 

Snake charged up the ramp, going for a clothesline. . .but Rolf ducked underneath it! Snake turned around. . .only for Rolf to Irish whip him ribs and chest first into the right side of the barricade!!! Snake clenched his chest in pain. . but Rolf gripped Snake into a wrist-lock and Irish whipped him into the opposite side of the ramp’s barricade!!! Rolf then whipped Snake around so he was facing him, then fell to the ground. . .and sent Snake flying down the ramp with a Monkey Flip!!! Rolf went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Snake kicked out!!!

 

“If there’s one thing Rolf’s doing right, it’s keeping Snake away from his trusty kendo stick!” Frylock said. “And now the Metal Gear Icon has nowhere to go!”

 

Rolf pulled Snake up to his feet and kicked him in the midsection. . .before lifting him up in a Crucifix formation. . .

 

. . .but Snake dropped out of it behind Rolf before taking him down with a reverse DDT on the ramp!!! Snake then pushed himself up to his feet and stepped toward the barricade as the fans chanted, “KNIGHTHOOD SUCKS!!! KNIGHTHOOD SUCKS!!!” before gripping a ‘KEEP OUT’ sign. . .

 

. . .and RIPPING it from the barricade! Snake then lumbered toward Rolf, who was pulling himself up to a standing position. . .

 

. . .and WHACKED him across the face with the sign!!!

 

“Good GOD!!! That may have slapped the dinner out of Rolf’s mouth!” Shake said, as Snake pulled Rolf back up by the hair. . .and nailed him in the head with the sign again, before pulling Rolf by the arm back to the ringside floor and sliding him into the ring under the bottom rope. . .but leaving his head sticking out of the ring. Snake then stepped toward the toppled-over wheelbarrow, rummaged through all the weapons. . .before grabbing a toaster. . .

 

. . .and RAMMING IT INTO ROLF’S FACE AFTER CHARGING TOWARD HIM!!!

 

“GOOD GOD!!! ROLF’S BRAINS HAVE GOTTA BE SCRAMBLED!!!” Frylock cringed, as Snake slid into the ring and went for a cover! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .ROLF KICKED OUT!!!!

 

“NO!!! The Son of a Shepherd still has signs of life!!!” Frylock called, as Snake punched the mat in frustration before leaving the ring. . .stepping toward the announcer’s table. . .and grabbing his kendo stick!!!

 

“Uh-oh. . .things are about to go from BAD to WORSE for Rolf. . .” Shake foreboded, as Snake stepped back into the ring above the second rope. . .held his kendo stick back like a baseball bat until Rolf staggered up to his feet. . .

 

. . .AND WAS CLOCKED IN THE TEMPLE WITH SNAKE’S KENDO STICK!!!!

 

“GOOD LORD!!! SNAKE’S GONNA BEAT THE KID SENSELESS WITH THAT THING!!!” Frylock shouted.

 

“HE’S GONNA SPLIT HIS EAR IN TWO!!! AND IT’S ABSOLUTELY LEGAL!!!” screamed Shake, as Snake pulled Rolf back up by the hair. . .pressed the kendo stick against his neck. . .and took him down with a VICIOUS White Russian Leg Sweep. . .but kept the weapon pressed against his neck with one arm. . .

 

. . .and locked in a kendo-stick aided sleeper hold with the other hand!!!

“Oh my God. . .Rolf is in the worst possible position he could be in right now! Snake’s got him grounded, and is choking the life out of him with that kendo stick, AND his patented sleeper hold!” Frylock declared, as Snake applied more pressure to Rolf’s head and neck! Rolf waved his arms around and tried to elbow Snake, attempting to fight out of the hold but to no avail. The referee asked Rolf if he wanted to quit but he shook his head no, coughing, gasping and wheezing for breath until his body started to go limp. Snake brought Rolf’s head down closer to the ground while keeping his grip on the hold!

“Rolf’s an ornery son of a shepherd, Frylock! He’s GOTTA FIND A WAY OUT OF IT!!!” Shake shouted. “STAY UP, KID!!! STAY UP!!!”

The referee raised Rolf’s arm up and dropped it, letting it fall limply to his sides. After counting one, the referee raised Rolf’s arm up again, and let it fall back to his side. The referee counted one, and picked up Rolf’s arm one more time. . .

. . .and Rolf furiously elbowed Snake in the face! Rolf continued to fight out of the hold with every elbow to the chest and face of Snake, who pulled Rolf back up with his grip still on the kendo stick, and Rolf’s neck. Rolf kept elbowing and fighting out of the hold. . .

. . .gripped the kendo stick. . .

. . .and after one more elbow to the gut, Rolf pulled the kendo stick off his neck, and successfully broke the hold!

“AND ROLF SHOWING TREMENDOUS STRENGTH AND WILL TO BREAK OUT OF THAT DEADLY SLEEPER HOLD!!!” Frylock declared, as Rolf spun around and slapped Snake in the chest with a FURIOUS chop!!! Rolf continued hitting Snake with chop after chop until the Metal Gear Icon was driven into a corner. Rolf then Irish whipped Snake HARD across the ring before running up to the second rope. Meanwhile, Snake bounced HARD out of the opposite corner, selling his back in pain as he stumbled into the center of the ring. . .

. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A DIVING TORNADO DDT FROM ROLF!!!!

“DIVING DDT!!!! WE’RE GONNA HAVE A NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION!!!” Frylock shouted, as Rolf went for the cover 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .2.5 SNAKE KICKED OUT!!!! Rolf couldn’t believe it!!!

 

“Oh my God, how close was that???” Frylock wondered, as Rolf leapt over all three ropes, landing on the ring apron and stepping onto the floor, picking up as many street signs, chairs, small appliances that he could, and slid them into the ring under the bottom rope. . .but Rolf took a large set of steel steps. . .turned them around. . .

 

. . .and set them in front of the ring apron. . .

 

. . .TO WHEEL THE ENTIRE WHEELBARROW UP THE STAIRS, AND ONTO THE RING APRON!!!

 

“Wait a minute. . .what the hell is Rolf doing???” Shake asked.

 

“Rolf can’t get that ENTIRE wheelbarrow in the ring! There’s NO way. . .” Frylock said, before Rolf tipped the wheelbarrow up so that the front edge was on the apron while the handles were up in the air. Rolf then gripped the bottom edge of the wheelbarrow. . .lifted it up. . .

 

. . .and PUSHED THE WHEELBARROW OVER THE ROPES AND INTO THE RING!!!

 

“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!” shouted Frylock. “Rolf’s ENTIRE arsenal of weapons is in the ring, even the wheelbarrow they came in!”

 

“Rolf’s got EVERYTHING in that ring but the kitchen sink!” Shake quipped, before Rolf picked up a large sink. . .

 

. . .AND NAILED SNAKE IN THE FACE WITH IT!!!!

  
Shake sweatdropped. “. . .I stand corrected.”

 

Then, Rolf pushed the sink into the center of the ring, while Snake struggled to pull himself up with the ropes in a corner. The Son of a Shepherd then charged toward the Metal Gear Icon. . .

 

. . .clotheslined him before putting him in a headlock. . .

 

. . .AND DRIVING HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE SINK WITH A BULLDOG, SHATTERING IT!!!

 

“MAH GAWD WHAT A BULLDOG!!!” Frylock shouted, as Rolf turned Snake onto his back, revealing he was busted open!

 

“NOW SNAKE’S BUSTED OPEN!!!” Frylock screamed, as Rolf went for a cover! “BUT ROLF’S GOING FOR THE PINFALL!!!”

 

The referee made the count 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .2.75 SNAKE KICKED OUT!!!! Rolf looked up at the ceiling and shrieked with frustration!

 

“Rolf wants to regain the Hardcore Championship SO BAD. . .what has to be going through this kid’s mind right now?” Frylock wondered, as Rolf pulled Snake up by the headband and Irish whipped Snake into a corner face-first. . .then Irish whipped against the ropes in front of him. . .then leapt off of them on the bounceback for a leaping headscissor takedown. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR SNAKE TO KNOCK HIM DOWN WITH A VICIOUS CLOTHESLINE!!!

 

“NOOOOOOOO!!!! SNAKE CAUGHT ROLF IN MID-AIR!!!!” Frylock yelled, as Snake fell to his knees and went for the cover! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .2.5 ROLF KICKED OUT!!!! Snake yelled an obscenity out of anger!

“And the Son of a Shepherd somehow kicked out!!!” Frylock said. “And Snake is getting madder by the second!”

 

“Just like the rest of the Knighthood. . .” Shake added. “. . .but when they get mad, they get MORE destructive. . .”

 

Snake rose up to a standing position, pulling Rolf up by the hair with him as he slapped him in the chest with a knife-edged chop of his own! Snake hit Rolf in the chest with chop after chop until Rolf faltered to one knee. Snake then put Rolf into a wrist-lock and pulled him back up to a standing position before putting him in a tight headlock. . .

 

. . .pulling him into the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPING HIM ONTO THE TOASTER WITH THE METAL GEAR TAKEDOWN (Dream Street)!!!!

 

“GOOD GOD!!! GOOD GOD, SNAKE JUST DROPPED THE SON OF A SHEPHERD BACK ONTO THAT TOASTER!!!” Frylock screamed.

 

“NOOOO!!!! THE POOR TOASTER!!!!” Shake shouted, as Snake went for another cover! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .2.75 ROLF KICKED OUT!!! Snake REPEATEDLY punched the mat, seething with anger as he pulled Rolf back up by the arm, and Irish whipped him into a corner back-first. Snake then backpedaled to the opposite corner before charging toward Rolf for a series of shoulder thrusts. . .

 

. . .but Rolf spun out of the corner, causing Snake to hit the pole in between the top and middle turnbuckle! Snake pulled himself out of the corner. . .

 

. . .AND WAS MET WITH A JAWBREAKER FROM ROLF!!! The Son of a Shepherd went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .2.99 SNAKE KICKED OUT!!!! Rolf scowled with anger as he rose to a standing position, screaming, “YOU MUST PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE AGAINST ROLF!!!!”

 

“Rolf has so much pent-up rage directed at Solid Snake. . .from the sounds of that shriek, he wants to end this, and end it NOW!” Shake declared, as Rolf strode toward the corner. . .and grabbed the handles of his wheelbarrow!!!

 

“What the hell???” Frylock wondered. “Rolf’s anger is getting the best of him!!!! THIS IS TOO MUCH!!!”

 

“THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH, FRYLOCK!!! THIS IS FOR THE HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!” Shake shouted, as Rolf turned around. . .

 

. . .charged toward Snake with the wheelbarrow in tow at BREAKNECK SPEED. . .

 

. . .but Snake rolled out of the way!!!! Rolf abruptly stopped upon realizing he missed Snake and turned around. . .

 

. . .only to be Irish whipped into the corner for his troubles! Snake then sprinted toward the Son of a Shepherd and hit him with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Rolf fell to a seated position in the corner, upon which the Metal Gear Icon kneed and mudhole stomped Rolf repeatedly, before leaving Rolf in the corner dazed and in a crumbled heap. . .and turning around. . .to see Rolf’s wheelbarrow?

 

“Snake took advantage of Rolf’s miscue, but NOW what’s going through his mind?” Frylock wondered, as Snake then stepped toward the. . .and gripped onto its handles!

 

“Uh-oh. . .Rolf better get out of there, AND GET OUT OF THERE FAST!!!” Shake shouted, as Snake turned around, pulling the wheelbarrow around with him until it faced Rolf! A sadistic smirk then formed on the Metal Gear Icon’s face. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .before he CHARGED FORWARD WITH THE WHEELBARROW. . .

 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!!!!” Frylock called. “No….NO……”

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND CRUSHED THE WHEELBARROW RIGHT INTO ROLF’S MIDSECTION, WITH THE WHEEL RUNNING RIGHT INTO HIS NETHER REGIONS!!!!

 

“OHHHHHH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!!” Frylock screamed, as the crowd groaned as the wheelbarrow made impact, while Rolf SHRIEKED in agonizing pain!!!!

 

“The Son of a Shepherd won’t have a son of his own after THAT maneuver!” Shake said, before Snake pulled Rolf by the leg back to the middle of the ring for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

  
“It’s gotta be over. . .” Frylock said.

 

  1. . .



 

“. . .as the Knighthood retains. . .”

 

. . .2.9999999 ROLF BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!

 

“. . .the Hardcore Championship—OR MAYBE NOT!!!” finished Frylock, while the crowd let out a MASSIVE pop!!!! Meanwhile, Snake seethed with anger before screaming, “COME ON!!!”

 

“HOW THE HELL DID ROLF KICK OUT AFTER THAT???? DOES HE HAVE BALLS OF STEEL???” Shake wondered, as Snake stood over Rolf, taunting for him to get up with the cut throat taunt!

 

“They’re made of SOMETHING, all right. . .” Frylock said. “. . .but Snake still believes he has this match well in hand! Does Rolf have something up his sleeve???”

 

Eventually Rolf staggered up to his feet with one hand covering his nads, only for Snake to kick him HARD in the midsection. . .

 

. . .lift him up for a piledriver. . .

 

. . .but Rolf charge forward, driving Solid Snake against the ropes behind him!!! The two combatants bounced back, upon which Rolf shoved Snake forward, causing the Metal Gear Icon to bounce off the ropes in front of him! On the bounceback, Snake ran toward the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .RIGHT INTO A FACEBUSTER FROM ROLF!!! The Metal Gear Icon then stumbled around the ring in a daze. . .while Rolf charged toward the middle turnbuckle of a nearby corner. Almost immediately, Rolf leapt off. . .

 

. . .AND KNOCKED SNAKE INTO HIS WHEELBARROW WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK!!!

 

“ROLF WITH A SUDDEN BURST OF ENERGY HAS SOLID SNAKE RIGHT WHERE HE WANTS HIM!!!” Frylock shouted, as Rolf rose up from the mat to a standing position. . .and grinned upon seeing Snake inside his wheelbarrow!

 

“Rolf has the upper hand, but how much strength does he have left?” Shake wondered. “And more importantly. . .NOW what’s he thinking?”

 

Rolf then strode toward the corner full of weapons and rummaged through it until he found a stop sign. Rolf then strode toward a corner. . .

 

. . .and started climbing up the turnbuckles???

 

“Wait a minute. . .” Shake foreboded, as the crowd’s cheers grew in volume with every step Rolf took up to the top rope!!!

 

“Oh no. . .no, there’s no way. . .” Frylock said, as Rolf sized Snake up from the top rope!!! “Rolf can’t get there from here!!!”

 

“I don’t know how he’s walking after all the pain he’s taken, but even if he lands this, he won’t be walking after it!!!” Shake declared, as Rolf stared Solid Snake down. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .gave him the DX crotch chop. . .

 

“There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY. . .that Rolf can DO THIS—“ Frylock said. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .as Rolf set the stop sign in front of him. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND DID A 360 NOSEGRAB WITH THE STOP SIGN ONTO SOLID SNAKE!!!!

  
THE WHEELBARROW SLID TO THE LEFT AFTER THE IMPACT, SLIDING SNAKE OFF WHILE ROLF LANDED ONTO HIS BACK ON THE MAT!!!!

 

“OHHHH MY GOD!!!!! BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!! ROLF WENT SKATEBOARDING AGAIN, AND CRUSHED SOLID SNAKE WITH THE STOP SIGN!!!!” shouted Frylock, as the crowd erupted into chants of “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”

 

“THAT’S IT!!! HE’S CRAZY!!!! THIS KID IS OUT OF HIS GOD DAMN MOTHERF*CKIN’ MIND!!!! IT’S ONE THING TO TAKE UP SKATEBOARDING AS A HOBBY, BUT IT’S INSANITY TO BRING IT INTO THE WRESTLING RING!!!” Shake screamed unintelligibly, as Rolf crawled on top of Solid Snake, draping one arm over his chest for a cover!!! 1. . .

 

“ROLF HAS THE COUNT. . .”

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

“. . .AND THE HARDCORE TITLE. . .”

 

. . .2.99999999999999 SNAKE JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!

 

“. . .BACK IN HIS POSSES—NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! HOW THE HELL DID SNAKE GET THE SHOULDER UP?????” Frylock questioned, as Rolf pulled his arm off of Snake, looking down at the mat, exhausted.

 

“Not even a death-defying move like THAT could put Snake away!” Shake said. “From the way the Son of a Shepherd looks right now, that may have taken all the energy right out of him!”

 

Rolf slowly but surely rose to one knee, then stumbled up to his feet, wavering slightly after all the bumps he’d taken, while Snake pulled himself up with the ropes in front of him. Meanwhile, Rolf backpedaled. . .selling his left side with one hand, and rotating his right arm around his body to cheers from the crowd!!!

 

“Rolf’s been through all that and more throughout this Hardcore title match. . .he’s bloody, he’s bruised, he’s battered. . .but he’s still standing, and looking to end it with his finishing maneuver!” Frylock declared.

 

“You got that right!” agreed Shake. “Rolf is whipping his COC out and it’s about to EXPLODE!!!!”

 

Frylock let out a few audible snickers until Snake rose up to his feet and turned around to face Rolf. . .

 

. . .who charged toward him for the Clothesline From The Old Country. . .

 

. . .but Snake ducked out of harm’s way!!! Snake then charged toward the ropes, while Rolf bounced off the ropes across from him. . .

 

. . .AND RIGHT INTO A RUNNING KNEE LIFT THAT KNOCKED ROLF OUT COLD!!!!

 

“NOOOOOOO!!!! SNAKE EVADED THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY, AND KNOCKED THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUTTA THE SON OF A SHEPHERD!!!” Frylock shouted, while the crowd booed the Metal Gear Icon. . .who just grabbed Rolf by the hair. . .

 

. . .and drug him toward his wheelbarrow?

 

“. . .and the wheelbarrow is coming back into play? What could possibly be going through Snake’s mind???” Frylock wondered, as Snake set the ladder back upright, and pulled it into the center of the ring.

 

“Nothing pleasant, I can guarantee you that, Frylock. . .” Shake said, as Snake climbed up onto the tray of the wheelbarrow, forcing Rolf up there with him. Snake then slugged Rolf in the face with one more right hand. . .before kicking him in the midsection. . .

 

“Oh, no. . .not this. . .NOT THIS. . .NOT THIS!!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as Snake lifted Rolf up. . .

 

. . .before leaping straight up. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPING HIS HEAD ONTO THE WHEELBARROW WITH A JUMPING PILEDRIVER THAT SENT ROLF BOUNCING OFF THE METAL OF THE WHEELBARROW AND ONTO THE MAT!!!

 

“MAH GAWD WHAT A SICKENING PILEDRIVER!!!” Frylock declared, as Snake slid off the wheelbarrow and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

. . .3!!!

 

“DAMMIT!!! THE HARDCORE TITLE STILL BELONGS TO THE KNIGHTHOOD!!!” Frylock seethed in disgust, as Snake rose up from the cover while the bell rang.

 

“The winner of this match. . .and STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!!”

Snake slowly rose to a standing position and he snatched the Hardcore title from the referee before he could even give it to him. The Metal Gear Icon then raised his arm high, holding the Hardcore Championship belt above his head to boos from the crowd.

 

“As disheartening as it is to see a victory for the Knighthood tonight. . .it was STILL hard fought. . .” Frylock said. “Snake lived up to the Knighthood’s Code of Warriors, and gained his first successful title defense in a sanctioned Hardcore match! But as tough as he was, Rolf fought just as hard, but one late miscue after another did the Son of a Shepherd in! But now comes the question, who will step up to challenge the Metal Gear Icon for his Hardcore title next, and will anyone go for it under the 24/7 rule?”

 

Snake left the ring above the second rope while Rolf slowly staggered up to a standing position, barely keeping his balance while selling his head from all the pain.

 

“I got a feeling that it’s still that kid in the ring, Frylock!” Shake answered. “He’s too true to his cause to even THINK about giving up! He’s also too stubborn to know when he’s been beaten. He’ll recover from the hell Snake put him through in due time, and fight for the Hardcore Championship again. Hopefully he’ll have learned from the mistakes he made tonight. . .because the Knighthood’s Code of Warriors doesn’t make anything easy for ‘im.”

 

Rolf stumbled toward the ropes facing the ramp, and stared down Solid Snake with a scowl until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Mimi Tachikawa stood next to Sweet Tooth in a hallway with a microphone in hand.

 

“Umm. . .Needles. . .‘Sweet Tooth’. . .K--Kane. . .” Mimi said, “. . .you are one of the eight participants in tonight’s first-ever Silver Lining ladder match, and last Monday on XCW Monday Night Massacre, you chokeslammed not only Claude Speed, but Tommy Vercetti as well. The Harwood Butcher had a stern choice of words directed toward you, claiming that you have sold out to Hotsuma and the Knighthood, and that you’re not the asskicker you used to be. How do you respond to that?”

 

“Oh, Mimi. . .” Sweet Tooth chuckled. “. . .of all the remaining DigiDestined that trust me, you’re the most airheaded. . .chokeslamming Tommy WAS my response. . .and later tonight, he’ll learn that there’s more where that came from. I’ve always thought that he and I had the same amount of tenacity and viciousness in the ring. . .but if he keeps THIS attitude, I’ll do MORE than pull the stick out of his ass. . .I’ll crack his skull open and knock him off a ladder with it. Because he’s forgotten one thing. . .one SIMPLE thing about me. . .and it’s that I’ve NEVER been a hero! I never was one before my stay in Blackfield Asylum, being a hero in UWE wouldn’t have stopped Rugal from pulling us out of Pride and Glory. . .and if I decided to turn over a new leaf when this company began, I STILL would have been left to rot in my f*cking locker room! I joined the Knighthood of Assassins because I believed it was the right thing for ME to do. . .and I will contribute to our dominance of this company. . .by destroying everyone and EVERYTHING in my wake. . .and claiming the Silver Lining briefcase in the name of the Knighthood. . .whether Tommy, Claude, Spongebob. . .or ANYBODY else in that ring tonight likes it or not!”

 

Sweet Tooth stared into the camera with an angry glare until the show transitioned to a commercial break.

 

As Silver Lining returned from break, Mimi Tachikawa stood in a hallway next to Sora Takenouchi with a microphone in hand.

 

“Sora. . .tonight, you put the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Championship on the line against Yuna, who earned her number one contendership by winning a month-long tournament for it. Meanwhile, this is your first match in a month. So not only as an interviewer, but as your friend. . .I have to ask, do you feel any ring rust, and do you have anything to say about the match, especially after reports where the Cosmos Summoner even admitted she looked up to you as a role model?” Mimi asked.

 

“None whatsoever, Mimi!” Sora assured. “Since you interviewed me two weeks ago, I’ve resumed my training regiment, stayed in shape, and at this moment, I feel like I’ve never been in a Hardcore match! I’ve done everything I can to keep my focus on tonight. . .and my match against Yuna. . .who I DO have a lot to say about. . .and it’s a lot of good. I’m honored to know that she has and still thinks so highly of me. . .and she’s come a long way since the beginning of this company. But as fun as it was to watch her grow as a wrestler. . .she DID beat three other women, three VERY tough women in XCW’s growing women’s division, at that, in order to get to this night. . .so beating her won’t be as easy as people think. But I can’t imagine any other way I would want to return to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, it’s a challenging match with my title on the line! So, if there’s one thing I have to say TO Yuna, it’s this. . .”

 

Sora turned to look into the camera, with her Women’s title belt over her shoulder.

 

“. . .let’s give ‘em a fight they’ll never forget. . .and the best woman will win.”

 

Sora looked into the camera with a confident stare until the show transitioned back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

 

**“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!”**

The crowd cheered after Plankton's announcement, until the following words came from the titantron. . .

. . ."ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into more cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Ed and Eddy jumped onto the stage from below it! Raising their hands above their heads, Ed and Eddy strode down the ramp.

"Introducing first. . .the challengers. From Peach Creek. . .Ed and Eddy. . .D-GENERATION ED!"

Ed and Eddy slid into the ring and climbed on each turnbuckle, both of them making the word 'ED' with their hands above their heads toward the fans.

“D-Generation Ed has been aching to get their hands on their opponents ever since the beginning of XCW’s New Era.” Frylock informed. “The D-Ed Leader, Eddy, interrupted the Wild Dudes after they touted themselves as a dominant force in this industry, and claimed that they can’t do that until they’ve proven it in the ring! The rivalry would only grow more personal when the Eds invaded The Park, destroying it and their prized gaming system just to get them to accept their challenge! But Mordecai and Rigby would get their revenge by not only costing them a victory in a match last week, but also by attacking them backstage! Needless to say, the tensions between these two tag teams has reached an all-time high, and I can’t wait to see what they do to eaeh other once that bell rings!”

They met in the center of the ring and did the DX crotch chop three times, setting off pyro from each turnbuckle each time.

“I can’t either, Frylock! And you know why?” Shake asked. “Because Mordecai and Rigby are gonna cave the Eds’ heads in! They’re due for an asskicking from these up and comers, because they have won almost every tag title they can win in this industry, and after destroying their place of occupation, they’re ASKING for one! It’s time for ‘em to make room for the new guard, and if they won’t, then Mordecai and Rigby will do it themselves!”

Ed and Eddy stared across the ring at the entranceway until. . .

“Party Tonight” by Mordecai and the Rigbys played, to boos from the crowd, as Mordecai and Rigby stepped onto the stage with a confident swagger.

 

“And their opponents. . .making their Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .representing the Rookie Revolution. . .from The Park. . .the team of Mordecai and Rigby. . .THE WILD DUDES!!!”

 

Mordecai strutted down the ramp while Rigby was hamboning his fists against his chest, stepping along with him.

 

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that Shake, because these two slackers have yet to prove anything to anybody in the big leagues!” Frylock said. “They may be former LCW Tag Team Champions as well as the current NXT Tag Team Champions, but for the past month, all they’ve done is run their mouth, interfere in the Ed’s matches, and even blindside them backstage! And that’s no surprise considering they’re until the tutelage of the First PBS Kid, Arthur Read, in the Rookie Revolution!”

 

Mordecai and Rigby entered the ring and glared at the Eds before running against the ropes on opposite sides of the ring, and meeting in the ring with a high-five before screaming, “YEAHUH!!!”

 

“Come on, Frylock!” insisted Shake. “That only adds to the mystery behind these two! They want the Eds to know as little as possible about their fighting style so they can’t form a plan of attack. It's a BRILLIANT strategy, and one that only the World Television Champion could teach them! These two are as tough as they come, and their relentless attacks to these dorks only proves their eagerness to fight and resistance to never back down! The Wild Dudes are about to get their big break, while the Eds are about to get their bones broken!”

 

The bell rang and the match began with Ed and Rigby in opposite corners of the ring. . .until they charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring, upon which, Ed took Rigby down hard with a THUNDEROUS clothesline! Ed then pulled Rigby back up to his feet and slugged him in the face with a series of right hands before taking him down with a European uppercut! Ed then grabbed Rigby by the leg. . .lifted it up. . .and RAMMED Rigby’s knee against the mat with a knee smash!!! Ed went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Rigby kicked out!!! Ed then pulled Rigby back up to a standing position. . .and slammed him to the mat with a scoop slam! Ed went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Rigby kicked out!!!

 

Ed pulled Rigby up and went for another right hand, until Rigby surprised him with an eye rake, then pummeled him in the chest with right hand after right hand! Rigby then kneed Ed in the chest and dropped him down to the mat with a DDT! Rigby then stood over Ed’s head. . .and dropped onto it with a knee drop! Rigby went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Ed powered out!!! Rigby then rose to his feet and pulled the Monobrowed Colossus up with him before running against the ropes behind him, and taking him back down with a discus clothesline!!! Rigby went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Ed powered out again!

 

“Rigby is fighting with speed, but it’s gonna take more than that to put down Ed!” Frylock said. “How will the Monobrowed Monster follow up?”

 

Ed rose up to his feet while Rigby pulled himself up and the two rivals met near the center of the ring, with Ed going for another clothesline. . .but Rigby ducked under it and came to Ed’s backside, then took him down with a reverse DDT!!! Rigby then pulled Ed up by his jacket collar and drug him over to his corner before tagging in Mordecai, who entered the ring to boos while he and Rigby Irish whipped Ed into their corner, and began kicking Ed in the chest with swift mudhole kicks and stomps as Ed fell to a seated position, upon which the referee began a five-count!

 

“The Wild Dudes are having their way with Ed! He needs to find a way to make a tag, quickly!” Frylock exclaimed.

 

“Mordecai and Rigby won’t let ‘im, Frylock!” Shake said. “Their teamwork is relentless!”

 

The Wild Dudes continued stomping on Ed until the referee’s count reached four, then Rigby stood on the apron behind his corner while Mordecai took Ed down with a side headlock takedown, then wrenched on Ed’s neck before hitting him between the eyes with a series of right hands. Mordecai then pulled Ed up to a standing position and hit him with an uppercut that sent Ed reeling back-first into his corner, upon which, Eddy slapped Ed on the shoulder, tagging himself in to cheers from the crowd!

 

“And here comes the D-Ed Leader to make the save for his friend and teammate!” Frylock called, as Eddy entered the ring while Mordecai charged toward Ed. . .

 

. . .only for Eddy to catch Mordecai with a drop toe hold that sent Mordecai to fall face-first into the bottom turnbuckle!!! Mordecai winced in pain while Eddy pulled him by the legs into the center of the ring and started to apply a Figure Four Leg Lock. . .but Mordecai kicked Eddy in the back with a free leg! Eddy stumbled into the opposite corner. . .AND GOT SLUGGED IN THE FACE BY RIGBY!!!

 

“OH WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??? WAIT YOUR TURN, RIGBY!!!” Frylock shouted, while Eddy stumbled out of the corner. . .and right into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Mordecai!!! Mordecai went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out!!! Mordecai then pulled Eddy up by all three of his hairs then went for an Irish whip. . .only for the D-Ed Leader to counter it with an Irish whip of his own that sent Mordecai falling over all three ropes and down to the ringside floor! Mordecai cringed in pain as slowly stood up to collect himself. . .

 

. . .until Eddy leapt off the ring apron and took him down with a double axe handle!!! Both men were down on the ringside floor as the referee began the ten-count!!!

 

“The D-Ed Leader, Eddy, rarely goes airborne, but when he does, it’s with purpose! And he’s well on his way to fulfill it by teaching Mordecai and Rigby a thing or two about knowing your place!” Frylock said, as Eddy slowly rose up to his feet, pulling Mordecai up with him. The D-Ed Leader then slapped him across the chest with a couple chops before Irish whipping him toward the steel steps. . .until Mordecai countered it with an Irish whip of his own, causing Eddy to collide into the steel steps with a sickening thud!!! Eddy screamed in agonizing pain until Mordecai pulled him up from the wreckage. . .and dropped him with a swinging neckbreaker!!! The referee’s count reached three, as Mordecai rose up to a standing position before raising his fists above his head and screaming, “YEAHUH!!!” to boos from the crowd.

 

“The blue jay has struck back, and now he’s celebrating before the match is even won!” Frylock observed.

  
“Mordecai’s on fire, Frylock!” Shake said. “Can you blame him for being excited???”

 

Mordecai kept his back turned from the ring while taunting. . .

 

. . .until Ed blindsided him with a kick to the side of the head from the ring apron!!!

 

“NOW WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???” Shake shouted. “You can’t call that great strategy, Frylock! That was just dirty, plain and simple!”

 

“And the Wild Dudes are exempt from it, Shake?” Frylock deadpanned while Mordecai stumbled backward for a bit in a daze, but eventually strode back toward Eddy. . .who surprised him with a facebuster!!! Eddy then grabbed Mordecai by the back of his head and slid him into the ring under the bottom rope before following behind him. Eddy then ran across the ring and bounced off the ropes. . .and landed a leg drop across Mordecai’s chest! Eddy went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Mordecai kicked out!!!

 

“Oh come on, Frylock!” Shake insisted. “That was great strategy from Rigby! Mordecai NEEDED him to do that earlier!”

  
Frylock rolled his eyes while Eddy pulled Mordecai up to his feet, only for the blue jay to slug him with an elbow to the temple! Mordecai then hooked Eddy’s arms. . .lifted him up. . .and slammed him down to the mat with a full nelson slam!!! Mordecai then pulled Eddy up by all three of his hairs, then chucked him into his corner before tagging in Rigby, who leapt up from the ring apron and knocked Eddy to the middle of the ring and onto his back with a roundhouse kick to the forehead! Mordecai then stepped onto the ring apron and climbed up to the top rope while Rigby entered the ring and climbed up to the middle rope to stand in front of Mordecai!

 

“Now what the hell are these two dudes thinking?” Frylock wondered, as they watched Eddy stumble up to his feet. . .

 

. . .upon which, Mordecai pulled Rigby up by his sides. . .

 

. . .tossed him off the top rope. . .

 

. . .AND TOOK EDDY BACK DOWN WITH A CROSSBODY BLOCK!!!!

  
“OH MY GOD!!!! MORDECAI TOSSED RIGBY LIKE A DART!!!!” Frylock shouted.

 

“THEY CALL THAT THE REGULAR MOVE, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake informed. “And it’s gonna get them a victory against these dorks!”

  
Rigby pulled Eddy into the center of the ring and put him on his back before going for the cover! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .EDDY KICKED OUT!!! RIGBY COULDN’T BELIEVE IT!!!

 

“NO!!! Eddy still has signs of life! That move really is just a regular move, after all!” Frylock said.

  
“And you think MY jokes are bad. . .” Frylock facepalmed, while Rigby pulled Eddy up to a standing position, and Irish whipped him HARD into the corner. Rigby then charged toward the D-Ed leader and went for a harah elbow to the face. . .only for Eddy to spin out of the way causing Rigby to collide into the corner HARD. Rigby stumbled out of the corner in a daze, selling his head in pain. . .until Eddy dropped him with a pendulum backbreaker!!! Eddy went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .RIGBY KICKED OUT!!! Eddy punched the mat with frustration before standing up. . .and gripping Rigby’s legs. . .before locking him in an Indian death lock!!!

 

“And now Eddy’s got Rigby locked into his Indian death lock!!!” Frylock said. “Will Rigby tap out???”

 

“He’s too stubborn, Frylock!” Shake yelled. “Rigby can fight out of it!”

 

Rigby screamed in agonizing pain as he inched his way toward the ropes, while the referee The referee knelt down and asked Rigby if he wanted to quit. Rigby shook his head no while waving his arms around and thrashing forward as he tried pulling himself toward the ropes. . .

 

. . .UNTIL MORDECAI BROKE UP THE SUBMISSION MANUEVER WITH A FALLING ELBOW!!!

 

“OR MORDECAI WILL MAKE THE SAVE!!! GREAT TEAMWORK FROM THE WILD DUDES!!!!” Shake exclaimed, as Mordecai rolled out of the ring. . .and was chased back to his corner by Ed!

 

“The Monobrowed Monster looks like he wants to KILL the Wild Dudes. . .good thing Mordecai thought better and got outta Dodge!” Shake said, as Eddy and Rigby slowly staggered up to her feet, meeting in the center of the ring and trading right hands, with the crowd cheering in unison with Eddy’s punches, while booing in unison with Rigby’s punches. The two continued hitting each other with punch after punch until Rigby took Eddy by surprise with a kick to the shin. . .

 

. . .then dropped him with the Temp Check (STO)!!!!

  
“GOOD LORD WHAT AN STO!!! AND NOW RIGBY’S GOT—HIS FEET!!! HE’S USING THE ROPES FOR LEVERAGE!!!” Rigby went for the cover, putting his feet on the ropes for leverage!!! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .2.5 THE REFEREE SAW RIGBY’S FEET ON THE ROPES AND BROKE UP THE COUNT!!!

 

“Thank goodness we have an upstanding referee out here!” Frylock said, while Rigby began arguing with the referee, who asserted that he saw him try to cheat, and threatened to disqualify him and Mordecai. All Rigby could do was scream, “UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH….”

 

“OH, QUIT YOUR WHINING, RIGBY!!! YOU GOTTA DO MORE THAN THAT IF YOU WANNA GET ANYWHERE HERE!!!” shouted Frylock, before Rigby strode over to the corner. . .and climbed up to the top rope!

 

“Don’t think he doesn’t know that, Frylock!” Shake said. “This is gonna be the nail in the coffin for Eddy!”

 

Rigby waited for Eddy to slowly but surely stagger up to his feet. . .

 

. . .then started Hamboning. . .for whatever reason. . .

 

. . .before leaping off the top rope for a Diving Shoulder Block. . .

 

. . .BUT EDDY CAUGHT RIGBY AND SLAMMED HIM DOWN WITH AN AA SPINEBUSTER!!!!

 

“OH MY GOD!!! EDDY REGROUPED AND CAUGHT HIM WITH THE SPINEBUSTER!!!!” Frylock shouted unintelligibly before Eddy went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .2.5 RIGBY KICKED OUT!!!! Eddy rolled off Rigby, looking up at the lights until he started to drag himself toward his corner, while Rigby crawled toward Mordecai, who had his hand extended out for a tag!!!

 

“Both of these two men have beaten each other to holy hell and back!” Frylock said, while Ed slapped his hand on the top turnbuckle, extending his own arm for a tag toward Eddy! “Who will make the tag first???”

 

“C’mon, Rigby!!! GET THERE!!! GET THERE, YA DAMN BUM!!!” shouted Shake, as both Eddy and Rigby inched ever closer to their corners. . .

 

extended their hands out. . .

 

. . .reached for their partners hands. . .

 

. . .and successfully made the tags, with Ed and Mordecai getting tagged in at the same time, to thunderous cheers from the crowd as the two men charged toward each other!!

  
“And here comes Ed!!! And from the looks of both men’s speed, they’re ready to end this match once and for all!” Frylock declared. . .as Ed clocked Mordecai with a HUGE clothesline!!! Mordecai rose up to his feet. . .only for Ed to take him down with ANOTHER clothesline!!!! Mordecai staggered up to a standing position. . .only for Ed to lift him up. . .and send him FLYING across the ring toward his corner with a belly-to-belly suplex!!!

 

“The Monobrowed Monster, Ed, is like a house of fire right now!!!” Frylock called. “What’s he gonna do next???”

 

Ed then pulled Mordecai up. . .while pointing at the corner as he looked at Eddy. . .

 

. . .WHO CLIMBED ONTO THE TOP ROPE!!!

  
“Wait a minute. . .” Shake foreboded. “You can’t convince me that they’re pulling THIS out of their bag of tricks!!!”

 

“Oh, I believe they ARE, Shake. . .” Frylock declared, as Ed sat Mordecai on his shoulders in an Electric Chair formation. . .

 

. . .before Eddy did the D-X crotch chop. . .

 

. . .AND TOOK MORDECAI DOWN WITH THE DOOMSED DEVICE!!!!

 

“THE DOOMSED DEVICE!!!! ED AND EDDY HAVE BROUGHT BACK A SIGNATURE MANUEVER FROM XCW’S EARLY DAYS!!!!” Frylock shouted, as Eddy rolled back onto the ring apron while Ed went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

 

“AND IT MAY HAVE SCORED. . .”

 

  1. . .



 

“. . .A VICTORY FOR D-GENERATION. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .2.75 RIGBY BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!!!

 

“. . .ED—NO!!!!! RIGBY MADE THE SAVE FOR MORDECAI!!!” Frylock screamed, as Rigby sprinted back toward his corner, and stood on the ring apron.

  
“How’s THAT for teamwork, Frylock?” quipped Shake. . .

 

. . .BEFORE ED KNOCKED RIGBY OFF THE RING APRON AND DOWN TO THE FLOOR WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!!

 

“How’s THAT for retaliation, Shake????” Frylock snapped. “RIGBY GOT A CLOTHESLINE FOR HIS TROUBLES!!!”

 

Ed seethed with heavy breaths as he loomed over Rigby before turning around and charging toward Mordecai. . .

 

. . .WHO MET ED WITH A CHARGING KNEE TO THE GUT!!!! The Monobrowed Monster stopped in his tracks, falling down to one knee to sell his tummy in pain. . .while Mordecai leapt onto the ropes. . .

 

. . .but then jumped back off. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED ED WITH THE BUTT DIAL (Springboard Leg Drop)!!!!

 

“GOOD GOD!!!” Frylock yelled. “Mordecai’s known to be a brawling technician, but that springboard leg drop was all kinds of athletic!!!”

 

“What a WILD move from Mordecai!!!” added Shake, as Mordecai went for a cover!!! 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

 

. . .2.75 EDDY BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!!! Mordecai rose up from the cover, letting out an annoyed groan of his own before pulling Ed up by the collar until he was standing, but bent over. . .

 

. . .then SLUGGED him HARD with a HUGE right hand to the right temple, to MASSIVE boos from the crowd. Mordecai then stepped to Ed’s left side as he stumbled around the ring in a complete and utter daze. . .then knocked him BACK down to the mat with ANOTHER thunderous punch, this time to his LEFT temple!!!! Ed had to STRAIN to push himself up to a standing position from all the pain in his head!!!

 

“GOOD GOD!!! THIS IS SICKENING!!!” cringed Frylock. “Ed’s head has gotta be ringing!!! He might not know where he is right now!!!”

 

“He NEVER has, Frylock!” quipped Shake. “He has the brain the size of a fucking walnut!”

 

Ed eventually rose to his feet, wavering from all the shots to the head. . .but Mordecai charged toward him. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH STEAK ME AMADEUS (Inverted Running Samoan Drop)!!!!!

 

“GOOD GOD THAT HAD TO HURT. . .” Frylock cringed with a sad inflection. “Ed’s brains are scrambled, his body’s broken. . .”

 

“And Mordecai and Rigby are about to score their debut victory in XCW!” Shake declared, as Mordecai went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

  
“. . .the Wild Dudes live up to their name. . .” Shake said. . .

 

  1. . .



 

“. . .and this is just the beginning. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .2.99999999999 ED SOMEHOW GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!  
  
“. . .of their dominan----WHAAAAAAT??????” Shake shouted, completely incredulous as the crowd ERUPTED into more cheers!!!!

 

“NO!!!! ED KICKED OUT!!!! ED KICKED OUT!!! ED’S GOT HEART, THE LOVABLE OAF!!!” Frylock yelled unintelligibly as Mordecai rose up from the cover, groaning angrily under his breath before pulling Ed up by his collar and Irish whipping him toward his corner. . .

 

. . .but Ed stopped him in his tracks and pulled him in the OPPOSITE direction with an Irish whip of his own!!! Mordecai bounced back. . .and Ed bashed him right between the eyes with a headbutt that knocked Mordecai down to the mat but even sent the Monobrowed Monster reeling. Eventually, Ed was able to shake away some of the cobwebs and stomp toward Mordecai, who had risen to his knees. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR ED TO LIFT HIM ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!!!

 

“ED’S GOT MORDECAI UP!!!!” shouted Frylock!

 

“NO!!!! NOT THIS WAY!!!! HOW MANY HEAD SHOTS CAN THIS LUMMOX TAKE???” Shake screamed, as Ed spun Mordecai around. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH THE ELEDRIFIER!!!!

 

“. . .AND NOW HE’S TAKING HIM DOWN!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd let out a MASSIVE pop! “THE ELEDRIFIER CONNECTS!!!!! AND BAH GAWD, THAT’S GOTTA BE IT!!!”

 

Ed turned Mordecai onto his back before going for the cover! 1. . .

 

. . .

 

“. . .the Eds are STILL. . .”

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

“. . .a premier team to BEAT. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .2.9999999999999999 RIGBY BROKE UP THE THREE DOWN WITH AN ELBOW DROP!!!!

 

“. . .in XCW’s tag div—MAH GOD!!! RIGBY BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT WITH A HIGH-RISK MANUEVER!!!!” Frylock yelled, as Rigby rolled up to his feet, shouting ‘YEAH!!! YEAH!!! IN YOUR FACE!!!”

 

“YOU HAVEN’T WON THE MATCH YET, IDIOT!!! NOW’S NOT THE TIME TO GLOAT!!!” Frylock shouted with disgust as Rigby continued taunting Ed. . .

 

. . .UNTIL EDDY TOOK RIGBY DOWN WITH A CHOP BLOCK!!!!!

  
“ESPECIALLY WITH EDDY OUT TO EVEN THE ODDS!!!” Frylock shouted, as the referee ORDERED Eddy and Rigby to go back to their corners, which Eddy and Rigby reluctantly did, and then the referee focused on Ed and Mordecai. . .while Rigby stepped off the ring apron! Mordecai and Ed were still stumbling out of their crumbled heap while Eddy cheered his friend and teammate on. . .

 

. . .UNTIL RIGBY PULLED EDDY OFF THE APRON, CAUSING THE D-ED LEADER TO HIT THE APRON HEAD AND CHIN FIRST!!!

 

“DAMMIT!!!! RIGBY STRUCK BACK!!! IT’S ABSOLUTE CHAOS OUT HERE, AND THE REFEREE’S FOCUS IS BACK ON THE MATCH!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as Rigby Irish whipped Eddy against the barricade and hammered away at his face with swift right hands. . .until he leapt up. . .

 

. . .AND KNOCKED EDDY OUT COLD WITH THE POWER (Trouble In Paradise)!!!!

  
“NOOOOO!!!! RIGBY CAPITALIZED WITH THE POWER KICK!!!!” Frylock yelled.

 

“HAHAHAHAHA!!!! RIGBY’S GOT THE TOUCH AND THE POWER!!!!” Shake cackled while the referee turned around and argued with Rigby!!!

 

“And NOW the referee turns his attention to the damn raccoon. . .” Frylock said, while Mordecai and Ed had risen to their feet and traded right hands. . .

 

. . .UNTIL MORDECAI NAILED ED IN THE JEWELS WITH A LOW BLOW!!!!

 

“NOOOOO!!! MORDECAI WITH A LOW BLOW!!!“ called Frylock, as the referee turned around to face the action in the ring. “The referee NEVER saw it. . .”

 

“But he’s ABOUT to see THIS, Frylock. . .” Shake foreboded, before Mordecai pulled Ed up to his feet. . .

 

. . .gripped his arm around Ed’s collarbone. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH THE YEAHUH!!!!!!

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! AND NOW MORDECAI LANDED THE YEAHUH!!!” yelled Frylock. . .while Mordecai pulled Ed back up by the collar before stepping to a nearby corner, leaving him to waver in a daze. . .

 

. . .AS RIGBY CLIMBED ONTO THE TOP ROPE OF THE OPPOSITE CORNER BEHIND ED!!!!

 

“ED’S COMPLETELY SURROUNDED, FRYLOCK!!!! YOU, HE, AND THE ENTIRE TAG TEAM DIVISION ARE IN FOR A RUUUUUDE AWAKENING!!!!” exclaimed Shake, as Rigby leapt off the top rope. . .

 

. . .AND RAMMED THE MONOBROWED MONSTER IN THE FACE WITH A SUPERMAN PUNCH!!!!! Ed stumbled toward Mordecai. . .

 

. . .WHO COMPLETED THE DEATH PUNCHIES WITH A SUPERMAN PUNCH OF HIS OWN!!!! ED LAID IN THE CENTER OF THE RING, COMPLETELY KNOCKED OUT!!!

 

“NOOOOOOOO!!!! THE DEATH PUNCHIES CONNECT!!!!” Frylock shouted in disbelief.  


“YEEEES!!!!! ARTHUR’S TAUGHT ‘EM WELL, FRYLOCK!!!!” Shake shouted, as Mordecai rolled on top of Ed for a cover, hooking the leg with his right arm pointing high in the sky! 1. . .

 

“. . .and the lessons have PAID off. . .”

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



  
“. . .because TONIGHT. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .3!!!!!

  
“. . .IS ALL ABOUT THE WILD DUDES!!!” finished Shake, as Mordecai rose up from the cover and joined Rigby in shouting, “WOOOOOOOAAAAAAH!!!!” while the bell rang!

 

“The winners of this match. . .Mordecai and Rigby. . .THE WILD DUDES!!!!”

 

“Shake, there is not a DAMN chance in HELL that these two deserved that victory!” Frylock said with disgust. “They had nothing but dirty tactics in mind, interfered when they weren’t the legal men. . .these two men did everything in their power to swarm the Eds tonight, no matter if it was within the rules or not! They may have gotten their first victory. . .but it wasn’t an EARNED victory.”

 

The referee raised Mordecai and Rigby’s hands in victory before Mordecai told him ordered him to get a couple of microphones, then high-fived Rigby.

 

“What are you talkin’ about, Frylock?” Shake said with glee. “The Eds went into this match not knowing what the Wild Dudes are capable of. . .and after tonight, they’ve GOTTA know that they’re beneath their place! You CAN’T stop them because they’re just that relentless! If Mordecai and Rigby keep this up, and stay under Arthur’s tutelage, they’ll be at the top of the ladder in this company’s tag team division in no time!”

 

The referee handed Mordecai and Rigby their microphones before leaving the ring to let them speak.

 

“If they keep this up, they’ll learn their place soon enough—“ Frylock started to say, until Shake interrupted.

 

“SHHHH!!! Quiet, Frylock! The Wild Dudes are trying to speak!”

 

Mordecai and Rigby looked around at the fans in the arena, who were chanting, “YOU STILL SUCK!!! YOU STILL SUCK!!! YOU STILL SUCK!!!”

 

“How. . .about. . .THAT???” Mordecai said, eliciting MORE boos from the crowd before turning to Rigby. “Dude. . .I don’t know about you, but that match was TOTALLY worth waiting for. We outright TOLD the Eds that we could walk the walk. . .and tonight, we PROVED it.”

 

“Yeah, man!” agreed Rigby. “We OWNED our debut match in this company!”

 

“But this is just the beginning. . .” Mordecai added. “Because there’s one thing we have to say, and we HAVE to say it now. . .it’s that the Wild Dudes are here. . .and let this victory tonight be our message for the we’ve made ourselves known in this tag team division. . .we did everything we could to earn this victory tonight. . .and we’re gonna do EVERYTHING WE CAN to go on our tear through this tag team division until WE are the greatest tag team to ever step foot in the ENTIRE HISTORY of this company!!!!”

 

“Hm! Hm! PREACH IT, MORDECAI!!!” encouraged Rigby, who high-fived his friend. “And if you losers don’t like it. . .”

 

Mordecai grinned as the crowd continued to boo. “. . .then you’re just gonna have to DEAL WITH IT.”

 

Mordecai and Rigby then shouted the biggest “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” at the top of their lungs.

  
“God, these two are INSUFFERABLE. . .” Frylock facepalmed. “When will it end?”

 

“It’ll NEVER end, Frylock! These two aren’t stopping until someone even THINKS to stop them! And like hell anybody SHOULD!”

  
Mordecai and Rigby were STILL yelling, “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….”

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .until. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .A SIREN WENT OFF?!?!

  
“WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as the crowd EXPLODED into an ovation of cheers!!!!!

 

“…..CAN IT BE?!?!?!” wondered Frylock.

  
“What the FUCK is THIS, now?” Shake asked. “Did Ed actually DIE?”

 

“Nobody DIED. . .but SOMEBODY has a say of their own. . .is it. . .IS IT?!?!?!”

  
The siren was STILL going off. . .until the crowd chanted in unison to the next two words to come from the Titantron. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .”YOU. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .EEEEEEEEEEEEEDIOT!!!!!!!”_

 

Then pyro EXPLODED three times on the stage as Scott Steiner’s TNA theme played. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

**_. . .AND REN AND STIMPY STEPPED ONTO THE STAGE AND DOWN THE RAMP TO THE BIGGEST POP OF THE NIGHT!!!!!_ **

 

 **“IT IS!!!! IT IS!!!! IT FUCKING IS!!!!!”** shouted Frylock!!! **“REN AND STIMPY HAVE RETURNED TO XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING!!!!!!!”**

**“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING!!!!!” Shake denied. “THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO GODDAMN REASON FOR THESE FUCKING BUFFOONS TO BE OUT HERE!!!!”**

“REN AND STIMPY HAVE THEIR OWN PLACE IN HISTORY AS THE FIRST-EVER TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THIS COMPANY!!!!” Frylock informed. “But the last time we saw them, they lost to the debuting South Park Four. . .yet NOW, they’re back. . .and they’re making a BEELINE for the ring!!! And Mordecai and Rigby are BESIDE THEMSELVES!!!!”

 

Mordecai and Rigby just stood in the ring like a deer in headlights as the red lights of the arena went up and Ren and Stimpy reached the ringside floor!!! Meanwhile, Mordecai and Rigby tried to leave the ring. . .

 

. . .but Ren and Stimpy got in their path on opposite sides of the ring!!! Stimpy and Ren then entered the ring above the middle rope. . .

 

. . .AND STIMPY STARTED BRAWLING WITH MORDECAI WHILE REN STARTED BRAWLING WITH RIGBY!!!!

 

“I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING!!!!” Frylock shouted as both teams traded punches with each other. . .until Stimpy caught Mordecai off-guard with a headbutt before Irish whipping him across the ring! Meanwhile, Rigby went for a surprise kick to the midsection. . .

 

. . .but Ren caught it in time before leaping up. . .

 

. . .AND KNOCKING RIGBY DOWN WITH THE REN HOEKINATOR (Van Daminator)!!!!

 

“REN WITH A NEW KICKING FINISHER RIGHT TO THE FACE OF RIGBY!!!” Frylock said, as Rigby rolled out of the ring, selling his head in pain. Meanwhile, Mordecai bounced off the ropes and ran back toward Stimpy. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .WHO LIFTED HIM UP BY THE LEGS. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .WHILE REN CAUGHT HIS HEAD AND ARMS. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED MORDECAI WITH THE R&S DEATH DROP!!!!

 

“AND NOW THE R&S DEATH DROP!!!!! IT HASN’T CHANGED A BIT. . .AND NEITHER HAVE REN AND STIMPY!!!!” Frylock declared, as Mordecai rolled out of the ring while Ren and Stimpy high-fived each other in success.

 

“NO!!! NO!! NO!!! NO!!! NOOOOO!!!! I WON’T STAND FOR THIS UNTIL I GET SOME ANSWERS!!!!” Shake yelled. “Where the FUCK have these idiots been? Why are they back TONIGHT of all nights??? WHY ATTACK MORDECAI AND RIGBY, OF ALL PEOPLE???”

 

Mordecai met Rigby at the foot of the ramp, selling his head and shoulders in pain while looking at the ring in disbelief, where Ren and Stimpy climbed onto opposite corners and posed for the ecstatic fans, who were STILL chanting, “WELCOME BACK!!!! WELCOME BACK!!!”

 

“Mordecai and Rigby claimed that they wanted to be a part of history in this company. . .well, look no further than the former Toon ECW Tag Team Champions, and the team that started this company’s tag team division. . .Ren and Stimpy! You can’t be a footnote in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling’s history until you’ve crossed the first-ever XCW tag team champions! Ren and Stimpy are BACK. . .and the tag team division just got even more EXTREME!!!”

 

Ren and Stimpy continued celebrating their return with the fans until the show transitioned to a commercial break.

 

**How’s THAT for a return? :)**

**Anyway, there’s the first two matches!!! I hope they were worth the wait. No time for talk, between my professional life and this story, I’ll be busy. But until the next few matches, READ AND REVIEW!!!!**


	47. XCW Silver Lining: Part 2

As Silver Lining returned from break, Mimi stood in an interview area with a microphone in hand.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome. . .the first overall picks in the first-ever FWM Draft. . .the team of Twisted Villainy: Jude The Dude, and Frederick. . .von. . .Twirlenkiller?”

 

The crowd erupted into an excited yet mixed reaction as the camera panned over to Jude The Dude, who was standing in front of Frederick von Twirlenkiller.

 

“It’s German, Mimi. . .I didn’t ask for it.” Frederick deadpanned.

 

“. . .noted. . .” Mimi said, before continuing with her question. “Anyway, just moments ago, we not only saw Mordecai and Rigby score a pinfall victory in their debut match in XCW, we also saw Ren and Stimpy make their long awaited return to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. With this, the upcoming tag team title match, and now, your arrival, do you have anything to say about tonight’s events, or the tag team division as it gets more and more crowded?”

 

“We have A LOT to say, Mimi. . .” Jude responded. “First off, I’m excited to watch Ren and Stimpy beat the fuckin’ SHIT outta the Wild Dudes. . .but I’m even MORE excited for Frederick and I to make a debut of our own. Frederick has made a formidable impact in Fiction Wrestling Entertainment. . .and I’m looking to do the same. . .so what better way to go into the 2014 FWM Draft in hopes of doing just that TOGETHER, as a tag team? In the MadWorld, we’ve been training. . .we’ve been working out. . .Frederick here has been leveling small CITIES in the meantime for our time to shine, and we both know that it’s gonna come in due time—“

 

“INSERT GENERIC FUCKIN’ WISHFUL THINKING HERE!!!!” shouted someone from down the hallway.

  
Frederick and Jude turned to face the direction of the shout, and realized that it came from. . .

 

“BRUCIE???” Jude exclaimed. “What the fuck are YOU doing here?”

 

“Phenomenal. . .” deadpanned Frederick. “The self-proclaimed ‘Baby B’ Kibbutz followed us here from developmental. . .”

 

“You’re DAMN RIGHT I CAME UP HERE!!! And I AIN’T ALONE!!!!” Brucie shouted, with Carl “CJ” Johnson and Niko Bellic trudging behind him. “I got called up with MY TAG TEAM, the BOHAN BADASSES!!!! They’ve been fighting in UWE and AUW, respectively, for the LONGEST FUCKIN’ TIME, and they’re ready to KICK your FACES IN, AND MAKE THEIR PRESENCE FELT IN XCW’S TAG TEAM DIVISION!!!!”

 

“Okay. So, tell me. . .how does it feel to have hormones from a crustacean animal running through your veins?” Frederick wondered.

 

“A better question is to your clients DIRECTLY. . .” Jude said. “. . .are you two REALLY ready to kick our asses?”

  
“Damn right, man!” CJ responded. “I’mma waiting to fight in UWE. . .and this company ain’t no different!”

  
“I’m a former AUW Hardcore Champion. . .I’ve been ready to fight since my first day in this multiverse. . .” Niko replied. “. . .just. . .do me a favor first. . .and knock out Brucie—“

 

“WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT???” Brucie interrupted. “IS THAT SATSIFYING ENOUGH FOR YOU FUCKERS???”

 

“Not quite. . .” Jude said. “If y’all are ready. . .I reckon we make the match. Tomorrow night, on Monday Night Massacre. . .two tag teams waiting in the company’s wings finally make their debut. Twisted Villainy versus the Bohan Badasses. Does that sound good t’you?”

 

“Does that sound GOOD???” Brucie responded. “It sounds FUCKIN’ GOOD, IF YOU ASK ME!!!! YEAH!!! I’m lookin’ fuckin’ FORWARD TO TOMORROW NIGHT!!!! But y’all better WATCH OUT and KEEP YOUR GUARD UP once that bell rings. . .because the Bohan Badasses are like a Penn State coach at a T-ball game. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .THEY’RE ON THE RISE!!!!!”

 

Carl Johnson and Niko facepalmed as they backed out of the scene as Brucie stared Jude and Frederick down while stepping out of the interview area, with Frederick and Jude staying behind.

 

“. . .and there’s going to be a controversy about THAT. . .” Jude deadpanned.

 

“I have no quarrel with CJ or Niko. . .but what would they say after I’ve blown Brucie through the arena ceiling?” Frederick asked, raising his wind-turbine arms.

 

Jude sweatdropped. “. . .they’ll STILL be talking about what HE said. . .we’re covered no matter what we do. . .”

 

Frederick chuckled. “Splendid. . .”

 

Frederick and Jude looked determined in the direction of where Brucie was standing until the show transitioned to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

  
**“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Television Championship!!!”**

The crowd cheered after Carl’s announcement, until the following words came from the titantron. . .

. . ."ARE YOU READY?"

"Stoopid Ass" by Grand Theft Audio played from the beginning as the crowd erupted into a mix of boos and cheers.

"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?"

The drums kicked in on the song.

"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."

Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"

Once the heavy guitars kicked on, pyro exploded on the stage and Edd jumped onto the stage from below it! Raising his hands above his heads, Edd strode down the ramp.

"Introducing first. . .the challenger. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .’The Sockhead’. . .DOUBLE D!!!!”

Edd slid into the ring and climbed onto a turnbuckle, making the word 'ED' with his hands and holding it above his head toward the fans.

“Just now, Double D’s friends and comrades lost a tag team match to Arthur’s fellow Rookie Revolution members, Mordecai and Rigby.” Frylock informed. “But right now, Double D looks to make a name for himself outside of the tag team division, and claim the XCW Television Champion of the World in his name! He’s a former X Division Champion in Peach Creek Ultimate Wrestling, the company he co-owns, and he’s even a competitor in WWE: Animated’s World Martial Arts Tournament. But a win tonight will not only prove his worth in single’s competition, but it will also progress and solidify Double D’s growth as a wrestler!”

Double D then stepped into the center of the ring and did the DX crotch chop, with pyro going off on opposing corners in unison with each chop.

“Gimme a break, Frylock!” Shake dismissed. “He let some poser rookie steal the X Division title from him in PCUW, and all he’s done to Arthur Read in the past month is ambush him when he didn’t see it coming. Plus, he can’t overcome the First PBS Kid by HIMSELF. . .he’s a scrawny weakling! He’s a scrawny weakling! I don’t know what the hell everyone else sees in this dork. . .but from the sounds of this crowd’s mixed reaction, they’re on the right side of the argument! He will suffer the same fate as his friends!”

Double D stared across the ring at the entranceway until. . .

. . .”Smoke and Mirrors” by Jim Johnston played! Arthur stepped onto the stage wearing a yellow hooded vest, and the XCW World Television Championship belt around his waist.

“And his opponent. . .representing the Rookie Revolution. . .from Elwood City. . .he is the ‘First PBS Kid’. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .ARTHUR READ!!!”

Arthur pushed the hood behind his head, revealing a confident grin on his face to more boos from the crowd before striding down the ramp.

“The feelings of this King’s Landing crowd about Double D are based on his apparent relationship with a Stark Sister that’s been reported in the tabloids. . .” Frylock informed. “But if the crowd’s current vitriol is any indication, it’s safe to assume they hate Arthur more, and I don’t blame them! The spat between these two men began when Arthur and the Wild Dudes assaulted D-Generation Ed after Mordecai and Rigby cost Eddy the World Television Champion on Monday Night Massacre. Double D would then claim that Arthur is an undeserving champion, and the two have exchanged blows ever since. And quite frankly, the Sockhead of D-Generation Ed couldn’t be more correct!”

Arthur entered the ring above the second rope and came to the center of the ring, raising an arm high above his head, showing the still-booing crowd his Rookie Revolution wristband.

“Frylock, just stop! Stop with that kind of shit, because it just ain’t true!” Shake protested. “The First PBS Kid IS worthy of holding the World Television Championship because he is a role model! He defeated Eddy with smarts, he won the belt with smarts, and he’s going to win this match tonight with smarts! He especially has to use them in THIS match because he’s also going to be in the Silver Lining ladder match later tonight! He doesn’t want to go into that match with any kind of fatigue! He’ll have to be on the offensive at every given moment with all those ladders, AND the thug Claude Speed out to get him! So right now, if you were too blind to see his smarts in his recent matches against Claude or Eddy. . .you’re GOING to see them now!”

 

The bell rang and the match began with Arthur and Double D meeting in the center of the ring for a tie-up. Arthur came out of it with a waist-lock and lifted Double D up. . .but Double D landed on his feet behind the First PBS Kid, turned him around to face him and whacked him in the chest with a chop! Double D drove Arthur against the ropes with chop after chop until he was up against a corner. Double D then Irish whipped Arthur across the ring. . .only for Arthur to counter with an Irish whip of his own. . .but Double D leapt onto the middle rope, then immediately leapt off to take Arthur down with a diving elbow smash!!! Double D went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out!!! Not wasting any time, Double D immediately pulled Arthur up to his feet and took him down with a side headlock takedown, then landed a falling elbow right onto his face! Double D went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out!!!

 

Double D went to pull Arthur up to his feet. . .only for the World Television Champion to poke him in the eyes! Arthur then slugged Double D right between the eyes with a right hand, then hammered away at his face with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping him into a corner. Arthur then charged toward Double D and hit him with a corner clothesline, then took him down with a hip toss! Arthur then stood up. . .only to land a knee drop onto Double D’s chest!!! Arthur went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Double D kicked out!!! Arthur then pulled Double D up to his feet and hit him with chop after chop until he was up against the ropes. Arthur then Irish whipped Double D across the ring, ran after him. . .and took him down with a swinging neckbreaker!!! Arthur went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Double D kicked out!!!

 

“The fists are flying here in this World Television title matchup!” Frylock declared. “Who will pull ahead?”

 

Arthur pulled Double D up by his sock. . .only to receive a knee to the gut. . .but Arthur quickly went for a kick to the midsection. . .but Double D caught it, leapt up and nailed Arthur in the back of the head with an enziguri!!! Double D then pulled Arthur up by his collar and Irish whipped him into the corner, then took him down with a corner dropkick that sent Arthur falling into a seated position in the corner. Double D then ran into the opposite corner. . .then gave the DX crotch chop to cheers from the crowd!!!

  
“Aw, great. . .NOW what does this dork have planned?” Shake wondered, before Double D charged toward the corner. . .

 

. . .went for the Bronco Buster. . .

 

. . .only for Arthur to slide out of the corner, causing Double D to hit the middle turnbuckle groin-first!!!!!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!” cringed Frylock. “THAT looked like it hurt!!!”

 

“HAHAHAHAHA!!!!” laughed Shake. “How’s THAT for smarts???”

 

Arthur went for a quick cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Double D kicked out!!! Arthur briefly shook his head before pulling Double D back up and slapping him VICIOUSLY across the face before lifting him up. . .and taking him down with an Alabama Slam!!! Arthur then ran against the ropes behind him before bouncing back. . .and landing a leg drop against Double D’s chest!!! Arthur went for another cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Double D kicked out!!! Arthur scowled with disgust before pulling Double D up by his sock and Irish whipping him toward the ropes. . .only for Double D to hang onto the top rope and pull himself onto the ring apron. . .but Arthur didn’t notice, because he was standing in the middle of the ring while he raised two fists in the air and screamed, “YEAH!!!” with cheerful accomplishment, to MASSIVE boos from the crowd.

 

“You didn’t do SHIT to the Sockhead, Arthur!!!” Frylock said. “There’s nothing to gloat about!”

 

“He’s not gloating about what he’s done, Frylock!” Shake insisted. “He’s gloating about what he’s GOING to do!!!”

 

Arthur then turned around to run towards Double D. . .

 

. . .but Double D leapt over the ropes and took Arthur down with a senton flip!!! The crowd popped at the move while Double D hooked the leg for a cover!

 

“Well, he’s not gonna gloat about THAT!!! Double D took advantage of the distraction, and now is going for the cover!” Frylock informed. “We’re gonna have a new champion!!” 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out!!!   


“NO!!! Arthur got the shoulder up!” called Frylock, before Double D pulled Arthur up to his feet and dropkicked him toward the ropes. The First PBS Kid bounced back. . .right into an arm drag from Double D! Arthur pulled himself up to his feet, selling his shoulder in pain while Double D then ran toward the corner. . .stepped up to the top rope. . .

 

. . .ONLY TO FLY BACK OFF AND TAKE ARTHUR BACK DOWN WITH THE CUL-DE-SAC COLLISION (Whisper in the Wind)!!!! Double D went for a cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .ARTHUR PUNCHED DOUBLE D IN THE TEMPLE WITH A RIGHT HAND!!! Double D rolled off the cover, selling his head in pain while Arthur got up. . .and KICKED Double D hard in the midsection! Arthur then backed up. . .and NAILED Double D with another kick to the temple, the crowd erupting with boos while Double D yelped upon impact, selling his head and midsection in pain until Arthur stepped backwards again. . .then ran forward. . .and booted him in the midsection so hard, Double D rolled under the bottom rope and fell to the ringside floor!

 

“GOOD GOD, WHAT BRUTALITY!!!” Frylock said. “For someone who calls himself the First PBS Kid, Arthur’s not holding anything back!”

 

“There’s no way he wouldn’t, Frylock!” Shake added. “He wants nothing more than to prove he IS a legitimate World Television Champion, and teach Double D a lesson he’ll NEVER forget!”

 

Arthur stepped onto the ring apron, wiped his feet, then stepped back down onto the ringside floor before pulling Double D up by his shirt collar, and NAILING him right between the eyes with a right hand that sent The Sockhead reeling toward the announcer’s tables. As the referee began the ten count, Arthur then ran toward Double D. . .and tackled him into the Spanish announcer’s table! Arthur then pulled Double D up by the back of his shirt. . .and rammed his face against the top of the announcer’s table! Arthur then pulled Double D back up and whipped him back first against the ring post, the Sockhead wincing upon making impact with the post. Arthur then backpedaled, and raised a fist before charging forward. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND ACCIDENTALLY HIT HIS HAND AGAINST THE RING POST AFTER DOUBLE D DUCKED THE PUNCH!!! Arthur cringed as he sold his hand in pain. . .

 

. . .before Double D lifted him up and took him down with a flapjack, with Arthur’s face hitting the edge of the barricade as the referee’s count reached five!!!

 

“Arthur brought the fight to the Sockhead Double D, but Double D spun out of harm’s way!” Frylock said. “But is he gonna get the First PBS Kid back into the ring???”

 

“Not if the champion has anything to say about it!!!” Shake said, as Arthur tried to pull himself up while crawling toward the barricade! “He needs a time out, and the ref better give it to him!”  


“THERE’S NO TIMEOUTS IN GODDAMN WRESTLING, SHAKE!!!” yelled Frylock, while Double D made it to his feet. . .grabbed onto Arthur’s arm. . .

 

. . .and Irish whipped him face first into the ring post!!!

 

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HE’S WEARING GLASSES, FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD!!!” pleaded Shake, but Double D slid Arthur back into the ring under the bottom rope and slid in after him, breaking the referee’s count at eight. Double D then ran across the ring, against the ropes in front of him while Arthur tried to rise to his feet. . .

 

. . .only for Double D to take him down with a headscissor takedown!!! Double D then went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Arthur kicked out!!!

 

“We almost had a new World Television Champion!!” Frylock declared. “Double D is coming into his own before our very eyes, ladies and gentlemen!”

 

Double D then pulled Arthur up to his feet and slugged him with a series of right hands before Irish whipping him toward a corner. . .but the First PBS Kid countered by keeping his grip on Double D’s hand, then pulling him closer to put him in a headlock. . .then he ran forward and drove Double D face-first into the mat with a bulldog! Arthur then stood over Double D before kneeling down. . .and locked him in a sugar hold. . .before leaping up. . .and ramming his knees into the Sockhead’s back!!! Double D winced in pain as he rolled toward the ropes and struggled to pull himself up with the ropes. . .only for Arthur to lift him up and take him down with a sit-out side slam!!! Arthur then pulled Double D back to the center of the ring for a cover 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .DOUBLE D KICKED OUT!!!

 

“You were saying, Frylock???” Shake quipped. “I hope Double D’s got a protractor, because he’s getting SCHOOLED by the First PBS Kid!”

 

Arthur grimaced with frustration as he pulled Double D up to a standing position by the sock on his head, then kicked him in the midsection before running against the ropes behind him. . .raised a leg for his Scissors Kick. . .

 

. . .but Double D rose up in time to evade it! Before Arthur could recover from the whiff of his kick, Double D Irish whipped Arthur with all the power he had, making the First PBS Kid bounce HARD off the turnbuckle. . .and right into a drop toe hold from the Sockhead!!! But before Arthur could try to push himself up, Double D stood back up. . .and landed a jumping elbow right to the kidney of the First PBS Kid!!! Arthur then sold his side in pain. . .until Double D picked Arthur up in a pumphandle position. . .strode to the corner. . .and set Arthur up in the Tree of Woe!!!

 

“The World Television Champion is in the worst possible place he can be in right now!!!” Frylock said, as Double D wailed away at Arthur’s torso and midsection with a series of swift soccer kicks!!! “After all this punishment, there’s no way that Arthur will be in good shape for the Silver Lining ladder match!”

 

“THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HEINOUS!!!” Shake declared. “This is no way to rough up a role model!!!”

 

Double D then pulled Arthur off the corner and slammed him down with a scoop slam before striding toward the corner. . .and climbing up the top rope!!!

 

“Now what’s this idiot gonna do????” Shake wondered. . .as the cheering of the fans grew in volume!!!

 

“The Sockhead is about to go high-risk, Shake!!!” Frylock assured. “And when Double D goes high-risk, he doesn’t kid around!!! Go for it all, Double D!!! Everyone’s at your back!!”

 

Double D reached the top turnbuckle and sized Arthur up. . .

 

. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .

 

. . .AND LANDING A CANNONBALL ONTO ARTHUR’S TORSO!!!

 

“THE CANNONBALL CONNECTS!!!!” Frylock declared. “We’re gonna have a new World Television Champion!!!”

 

Double D went for a cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .ARTHUR KICKED OUT!!!! Double D rolled off the cover, exasperated while Arthur rolled onto his chest, thinking about what to do next, while the fans cheered with excitement!

 

“These two men have put each other through a world of hurt!!! And there still isn’t a clear winner!!! Whoever gains the upper hand is gonna be the XCW World Television Champion!!!” Frylock said, as Double D and Arthur pulled themselves up to a standing position with the ropes on opposite sides of the ring. Arthur and Double D then stepped to the center of the ring and the two of them went for right hands. . .only for both of their fists to collide into each other!!! Both men sold their hands in pain. . .until Arthur charged forward and took Double D down with a Russian leg sweep! Arthur then pulled the Sockhead up by his hat and Irish whipped him across the ring before kicking him in the midsection. . .

 

. . .then backing up against the ropes. . .

 

. . .AND THIS TIME, CONNECTING WITH THE SCISSORS KICK!!! Double D was slow to push himself up to his feet while Arthur stood over him, taunting for the Sockhead to get up!!!

“Double D’s hand has gotta be hurting right now, among other things!” Shake declared. “And the First PBS Kid is about to teach him the all-important lesson about staying down!”

 

Double D eventually staggered up to his feet. . .

 

. . .only for Arthur to lift him up. . .

 

. . .AND TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A BACKPACK STUNNER!!!

 

“HAHAHA!!! Arthur shoved the dork into a locker with that new move!!!” Shake said. “What a backpack stunner!!!”

 

Arthur rolled Double D onto his back and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .2.5 DOUBLE D KICKED OUT!!! Arthur couldn’t believe it!!!

 

“NOOOOO!!!! DOUBLE D KICKED OUT!!! HOW CLOSE WAS THAT???” Frylock exclaimed, as Arthur stood up from the cover and pulled Double D into a front face lock position in the center of the ring. Arthur then set Double D up for the Final Chapter. . .

 

. . .but Double D countered out of it and stood behind the First PBS Kid with a firm grip on his arm!!! Arthur winced in pain until the Sockhead lifted him up. . .and dropped him on his head with a German suplex!!! Not satisfied, Double D waited for Arthur to stumble up to his feet. . .before taking him back down with a Jawbreaker!!! The World Television Champion reeled around the ring in a daze until Double D charged toward him. . .leapt up. . .

 

. . .AND DROVE HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH A BODYSCISSOR BULLDOG!!!

 

“What athletic ability from Double D!!! That bodyscissor bulldog may be all he needs!!!” Frylock predicted, before Double D went for a cover!!! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .2.5 ARTHUR KICKED OUT!!! Double D let out a scream of frustration as he rolled off the cover!!

 

“How the hell does this scrawny dork keep getting all the damn breaks???” Shake wondered. “Arthur’s gotta be just letting him off easy before hitting him with the final blow!”

 

“Double D is fighting harder than he ever has before here tonight for the World Television Championship. . .what else will he pull out of his arsenal as he goes for the win here???” Frylock wondered, as Double D rose up to a standing position after taking a knee for a bit. Double D then pulled Arthur up by his shirt collar and Irish whipped him across the ring before leaping up for a dropkick. . .but Arthur hung onto the ropes after making impact with them causing Double D to land on the mat!!!

 

“HAHAHAHA!!! And you think the Sockhead would avoid that miscalculation!” Shake quipped, before Double D staggered up to his feet, selling his back in pain. . .until Arthur took Double D back down with a reverse DDT!!! But Arthur forewent the cover, instead deciding to kneel down next to Double D. . .pull him up in his best attempt at a Bearhug. . .

 

. . .AND TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A LIFTING REVERSE STO!!!

 

“GOOD LORD WHAT AN STO!!!” Frylock shouted. “Arthur raised him from the ground up only to drive him back down!!!”

 

“He calls that one ‘The Moralizer,’ Frylock!” Shake informed. “And you can call this one OVER!”

  
Arthur fell on top of Double D for the cover!!! The referee made the count 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

. . .2.75 DOUBLE D KICKED OUT!!! The crowd roared with cheers while Arthur repeatedly punched the mat in anger!!!

 

“NOOOO!!! DOUBLE D STILL HAS A SIGN OF LIFE!!!” Frylock called while Arthur stewed with frustration as he rose up to his feet, trying to figure out what move to make next. . .meanwhile the crowd erupted into chants of, “DOUBLE D!!! DOUBLE D!!! DOUBLE D!!!”

 

“This crowd has their full support behind the Sockhead of D-Generation Ed, Double D!” Frylock said. “They want to see him overcome the First PBS Kid and win his first singles championship in XCW!!!”

 

“Well, too bad and so sad for them, Frylock!” Shake dismissed. “The next move Arthur puts on this back mole will be all she wrote!”

 

Arthur pulled Double D back up. . .hooked his waist. . .

 

. . .and dropped him with a—NO!!!

 

DOUBLE D elbowed Arthur in the temple, breaking his hold!!! After Arthur faltered, Double D capitalized with a series of chops to Arthur’s chest that drove the champion against the ropes. Double D then Irish whipped Arthur across the ring, then waited for him to bounce back. . .

 

. . .until he could lock him in a standing butterfly. . .

 

. . .BEFORE TRANSITIONING IT INTO A ROYAL BUTTERFLY SUPLEX!!!

 

“And Double D takes a page out of a book from his starcrossed lover!!!” Frylock said. “Winter may have came for Arthur’s title reign!!!”

 

Shake sighed. “Can this guy BE any more of a SAP???”

 

Double D then hurriedly sat up from the mat and wavered up to his feet. Double D then gripped Arthur by his shirt and pulled him off his feet. . .

 

. . .AND RIGHT ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!!!

 

“Double D has Arthur in a precarious position!!! What’s he about to do???” Frylock wondered, as the fans stood on their feet!

 

“How does he even have the STRENGTH to do that???” Shake demanded, before Double D screeched with intensity. . .

 

. . .BEFORE PLANTING ARTHUR ONTO THE MAT WITH A FIREMAN’S CARRY FACEBUSTER!!!

 

“DOUBLE D TOOK ONE OF HIS SIGNATURE MOVES AND MADE IT THAT MUCH MORE DEVASTATING!!!” Frylock shouted, as Double D fell on top of Arthur for the cover, hooking the leg!!! “AND NOW THIS HAS GOTTA BE ALL!!!”

 

The referee made the count 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

. . .2.75 ARTHUR KICKED OUT!!!!

 

“NOOOOOOO!!!! ARTHUR BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!” Frylock screamed, as the crowd groaned in disappointment while Double D rolled off of the cover, looking up at the lights as he contemplated his next maneuver.

 

“I KNEW THE TWERP DIDN’T HAVE THE MUSCLES TO POWER HIM DOWN!!” exclaimed Shake. “COME ON, ARTHUR!!! GET UP AND GIVE THIS DORK WHAT HE’S ASKING FOR!!!”

 

Double D weakly gripped Arthur by the collar. . .until Arthur fired back with a sudden left hand to Double D’s temple! Arthur then slowly but surely made it back to his feet, then slowly staggered up to loom over the Sockhead. Arthur pulled Double D up by the back of his shirt collar and slugged him in the face with a right hand that sent Double D reeling backward against the ropes. Double D gently bounced off them and stumbled toward Arthur. . .

 

. . .WHO KICKED HIM IN THE MIDSECTION BEFORE DROPPING HIM WITH A SIT-OUT POWERBOMB!!!!

 

“WHAT A POWERBOMB!!! Whoever doubted the strength of the First PBS Kid was a fucking IDIOT!!!” Shake said, as Arthur rose up to his feet, taunting in the direction of Double D, who was selling his back while crawling toward the ropes to pull himself up.

 

“My God. . .as hard as it is to watch, you can’t help but admire Double D’s spirit.” Frylock said, as Double D wavered up to his feet. “What does he have left to fight with???”

 

Double D stumbled around to face Arthur. . .

 

. . .raised his fists up. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BUT ARTHUR LIFTED HIM UP AND DROPPED HIM TO THE MAT WITH A BOOK END!!!!

 

“HOW ABOUT THAT???? Arthur added ONE more move to his arsenal!” Shake declared, as Arthur hooked Double D’s leg for a cover!!! 1. . .

 

“And it sealed the deal. . .”

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

“. . .for Arthur’s first victory. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .2.99999999999 DOUBLE D BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!

 

“. . .tonight at Silver—WHAAAAAAT????” Shake shouted, as the crowd ERUPTED into more cheers for Double D!!! Meanwhile, Arthur shot up from the cover, absolutely DUMBFOUNDED!!!

 

“HE KICKED OUT!!! HE KICKED OUT!!! DOUBLE D KICKED OUT!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly. “DOUBLE D STILL HAS A SIGN OF LIFE!!! GET UP, KID!!! FIGHT WITH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE LEFT!!!”

 

Arthur stood up from his knees seething with anger, all the while practically DEMANDING that Double D get up. As the Sockhead rolled onto his back and pushed himself up to a standing position, Arthur charged toward the ropes. . .

 

. . .leapt onto the top rope. . .

 

. . .then jumped toward Double D. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR DOUBLE D TO SPIN OUT OF THE WAY, CAUSING ARTHUR TO KNOCK OUT THE REFEREE WITH THE PBS KICK!!!!

 

“NO!!!! ARTHUR MISSED DOUBLE D WITH THE DISASTER KICK!!!” Frylock declared. “A rare act of recklessness from the World Television Champion! Double D’s got an opening here!”

 

“No he doesn’t, Frylock!” contested Shake. “No referee means no order!!! Arthur can teach his life lessons with ANYTHING in this arena!”

 

Arthur stood up from the PBS Kick and turned around to face Double D. . .

 

. . .WHO nailed him right between the eyes with a right hand as the crowd once again, began chanting, “DOUBLE D!!! DOUBLE D!!!”

 

“Not if Double D has anything to say about it!” Frylock said. “He is GIVING it to the World Television Champion!”

 

Double D then hit Arthur in the face with two more right hands that sent him reeling. . .before leaping up and knocking Arthur against the ropes behind him with a dropkick!!! Double D pushed himself up in time to put Arthur in a waist-lock after he bounced back. . .

 

. . .then took him down with an Atomic Drop Neckbreaker!!! But Double D didn’t stop there. . .keeping his arm around Arthur’s neck for a headlock, Double D pulled Arthur up to a standing position. . .and PLANTED HIM WITH A DDT. . .

 

. . .before lifting him BACK up. . .

 

. . .HIGH off the ground. . .

 

. . .AND DROVE HIM HEAD-FIRST ONTO THE MAT WITH A DOUBLE D-DT (Regular DDT followed by a lifting DDT)!!!!

 

“WHAT A COUPLE OF DDTS FROM DOUBLE D!!! BAH GAWD, THAT’S GOTTA BE OVER!!!!” Frylock said, as the crowd popped with excitement while Double D went for the cover!!!

 

“Between this and the Dragon Ball Tournament. . .” Frylock said, as the referee was still reeling from the PBS Kick. . .but slowly made the count!!! 1. . .

 

“The Sockhead, Double D. . .”

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

“. . .has come into his own. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .2.9999999999999 ARTHUR KICKED OUT!!!! THE CROWD GROANED IN DISAPPOINTMENT WHILE DOUBLE D ROLLED OFF THE COVER!!!!

 

“. . .on his way to—NOOOOOO!!!!! ARTHUR BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!” Frylock called, as the referee faltered and sold his head, before fading back into unconsciousness.

 

“AND THE REFEREE IS STILL INCAPACITATED!!! GET UP, ARTHUR!!! PUT THIS KID IN HIS PLACE!!!!” shouted Shake, as Double D sat up from the cover. . .

 

. . .looked in the direction of the corner. . .

 

. . .AND STARTED STEPPING TOWARD THE TURNBUCKLE!!!

 

“Double D’s been through all kinds of punishment tonight from the First PBS Kid. . .but he’s given it right back to him!” Frylock informed. “But now the Sockhead is going for the nail in the proverbial coffin of Arthur’s reign as World Television Champion!!! Climb up to the top, kid!!! Make yourself famous!!!!”

The fans rose to their feet as Double D made it to the corner. . .and began climbing up to the top rope!!!

 

“If there’s anyone in XCW that knows anything about going high-risk, look no further than Double D!!!” Frylock said. “And this high-risk maneuver may be the one thing Double D needs to win his first singles title in this company!!!!”

 

Double D raised his arms high above his head. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .sized Arthur up. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and all the lights went out in the arena?

 

“What the—what the hell’s going on here???” Frylock wondered.

 

“Is there an arena in this universe that DOESN’T have faulty wiring?” Shake asked aloud. . .

 

. . .while the crowd murmured in confusion. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .until a thick fog started billowing from the stage. At the same time, a single violin began to play a single, long note. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and two rows of druids made their way down the ramp. . .?

 

“This is…..this is surreal, Shake. . .” Frylock asked.

 

“Whatever this is, it’s giving me the fuckin’ willies!” Shake replied. . .until the druids began vocalizing. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

 

. . .and a large throne made of iron slowly came out from under the stage. . .yet no one was perched on it. Meanwhile, the druids continued vocalizing. . .until they finally bellowed out a single word in unison. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

**_“. . .Castamere. . .”_ **

****

**_“. . .Castamere. . .”_ **

****

**_“. . .Castamere. . .”_ **

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .then the lights went up in the arena. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and the King’s Landing crowd lost their collective MINDS when they looked in the ring to see. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .JOFFREY BARATHEON!!!!!

 

“Oh my GAWD……OH MAH GAWD!!!!!!” Frylock screamed. “It’s….it’s HIM!!! IT’S THE FIRST OF HIS NAME!!! THE PROTECTOR OF THE REALM!!! THE LORD OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS!!! AND XCW’S SECOND PICK IN THE FWM DRAFT….JOFFREY BARATHEON IS HERE!!! AND HE’S IN XCW!!!!”

 

“AND HE’S A LIVE-ACTION CHARACTER IN OUR MIDST, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake added. “HE’S THE FIRST OF HIS CHARACTER HERE IN THIS COMPANY!!! BUT WHAT THE HELL DOES HE WANT???”

 

“THIS CROWD HAS ERUPTED!!! THE SOCKHEAD IS BESIDE HIMSELF!!! AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHO JOFFREY’S MAKING A BEELINE FOR!!!!” Frylock shouted, before Joffrey darted toward Double D, who was standing on the corner. . .

 

. . .but he leapt off and landed on his feet right behind Joffrey!!! Double D went for a right hand. . .

 

. . .but Joffrey ducked under it. . .lifted Double D up. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH THE IRON THRONE (Scoop Brainbuster)!!!!

  
“NOOOOOO!!!!! I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!!!! THE FIRST OF HIS NAME IS JUST MANHANDLING DOUBLE D!!!!” Frylock yelled with disgust, before pulling Double D into the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .hooking his arms and legs. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND DROVE HIM INTO THE MAT WITH THE KING’S LANDING (Cradle Belly-To-Back Inverted Mat Slam)!!!!!

 

“DAMMIT!!!! DAMMIT IT ALL TO HELL!!!!” Frylock shouted. “DOUBLE D HAD THIS MATCH WON. . .BUT THEN JOFFREY GOT INVOLVED!!!”

 

“Well whaddaya know? Arthur’s got an ally!” Shake said with a smile, while Joffrey looked down at the broken and beaten Double D on the mat with a devilish smirk before muttering one phrase. . .

 

“. . .and so. . .my reign. . .BEGINS.”

  
Joffrey then left the ring above the second rope, wiping his feet on the ring apron before stepping back onto the ringside floor and up the ramp to watch the ending from his throne. Meanwhile, in the ring. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .ARTHUR WAS CRAWLING TOWARD DOUBLE D!!!!

  
“I don’t know what the hell THAT meant. . .but I wanna know what the meaning of THIS is!!! Arthur’s going for the cover, and the referee is waking up!!!” Frylock demanded, while the crowd erupted into a chorus of boos, and the referee slowly but surely woke up. . .

 

. . .just in time to see Arthur drape his arm over Double D’s chest for a cover!!! The referee made the count! 1. . .

 

“NO!!!”

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

“NOT THIS WAY!!!”

 

. . .

 

. . .3!!!!

 

“DAMMIT!!! ARTHUR RETAINED, THANKS TO THAT DAMN BARATHEON!!!” Frylock screamed, while the crowd’s boos reached deafening levels, and Joffrey slow clapped the three count before the bell rang!

 

“The winner of this match. . .AND STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .ARTHUR REEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!”

 

“I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU CAN CONDONE THIS VICTORY FOR ARTHUR, SHAKE!!!” Frylock exclaimed. “This was ALL Double D’s until Joffrey Ba-GODDAMN-ratheon arrived to XCW and assaulted him while the referee was out! Double D got screwed out of the XCW World Television title tonight, and that’s an undeniable fact! What the hell does The First of His Name have against Double D???”

 

Arthur rolled off the cover before the referee raised his arm in victory. He then left the World Television title belt on the mat next to him, and the First PBS Kid took the belt and slowly rolled out of the ring, clutching his title to his chest as he landed on the ringside floor.

 

“All I wanna know is how the hell this guy is even here!” Shake demanded. “How is he alive??? Is he even still the ruler here??? He BETTER give us that answer sooner than later. . .but as far as how you feel, Frylock, I don’t know why you have your panties in a bunch about it! He HAD to have known that Arthur had a second match to prepare for, and was telling Double D that his time was up! Arthur NEEDED enough time to prepare for the ladder match, and Joffrey flat out gave it to him! If Double D had leapt off the top rope sooner, we WOULD have an undeserving champion. . .but thankfully, Arthur got an ENDORSEMENT tonight from The Ruler of the Five Kingdoms. . .and if that doesn’t prove his worthiness as our World Television Champion, I don’t know what is!”

 

Meanwhile, Double D slowly woke up. . .and raised his head up to see Joffrey sitting on the Iron Throne at the stage, staring at him with the same devilish smirk.

 

“I. . .I have NOTHING to say to you, Shake. . .” Frylock said with disgust. “. . .let’s just. . .JUST GO BACKSTAGE. . .Mimi’s got another interview. . .”

 

Double D looked at Joffrey completely dumbfounded and dazed until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Mimi Tachikawa stood in a hallway with a microphone in hand.”

 

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .please welcome. . .the Sponge Suplex Machine. . .and the TRUE Animation Icon. . .Spongebob Squarepants!”

 

The crowd booed as the camera panned toward Spongebob Squarepants, who stepped closer to Mimi.

 

“Spongebob. . .you are one of the eight participants in the first-ever Silver Lining ladder match tonight, and ever since Heatwave, you’ve got from proclaiming yourself as not only the ‘True Animation Icon’. . .but also you’re now the ‘Sponge Suplex Machine’. Why the sudden changes, and what thoughts do you have about the upcoming ladder match tonight?”

 

“Oh, I have PLENTY of thoughts about the match tonight, Mimi. . .” Spongebob said. “. . .but to your first question, the answer is simple. Over the course of my long and storied career, I’ve become the master at a LOT of things. . .and the suplex has always been a consistent move in my repertoire. In WWT, I used the double underhook and German suplexes to perfection. . .my Sponge Suplex Pin ended several matches in CWF. . .and now in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .I use EVERY suplex in the book, ESPECIALLY the T-bone suplex, because there’s so many ways to hit ‘em. . .and they all inflict the SAME amount of pain. And that’s exactly what I PLAN to do tonight. . .because all these people need to be reminded why I am the True Animation Icon. All seven of the other men in this match think I’m a JOKE and are already counting me out. . .but little do they know that I EXCEL in the role as the underdog! I’ve lived up to my two new monikers since I claimed them for myself. . .and after I beat Tommy Vercetti to the same pulp he beat me in last month. . .after I climb up to the rafters. . .I will effectively EXECUTE. . .and pull down that briefcase in the name of the TRUE!! ANIMATION! ICON! So if there’s one more thing I have to say about tonight’s Silver Lining ladder match. . .it is this. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .I’M READY!!!”

 

Spongebob stared into the camera with a confident, buck-toothed smile until the show transitioned to a commercial break.

 

As Silver Lining returned from break, Tommy Vercetti was doing arm curls with a small dumbbell while The Mask was playing the classic Mask video game on the Super Nintendo. . .as himself. Suddenly, Mimi Tachikawa came into the room with a microphone in hand, upon which, Tommy dropped his weight and stepped in her direction.

 

“NOW what do you want? A cup of water for your cactus?” Tommy snarked, stepping in Mimi’s direction.

 

“No. . .” Mimi stammered. “I--I wanted to interview The Mask—“

 

“ME???? But I haven’t seen the girl in makeup yet!!!” The Mask said with a grin before stepping over to Mimi. “What’cha got for me, Mimi me me me. . . . . .me?”

  
While Tommy stood in the background and lit a cigarette, Mimi sweatdropped before putting the microphone up to her mouth. “Uhhh. . .well, after the events of last Monday night on Massacre, and how Mario got the last move between the two of you after the massive main event, I just wanted to get your thoughts about the Silver Lining ladder match?”

 

“Oh, Mimi. . .I have so many thoughts in GENERAL. . . . . .” said The Mask. “. . .thoughts about the energy crisis, thoughts about how the United States should support Israel. . .thoughts about the first draft of the new Transformers script. . .thoughts about what I had for breakfast this morning. . .SEVERAL thoughts about Wasp. . . . . .and that’s just in the BACK of my head. Because the ONLY thing that’s on my mind right now is that very match. . .and my strateegery, which I won’t detail because that’s a spoiler. . .and beside the point. As you mentioned, Mario got the better of me last Monday night. . .but TONIGHT. . .the stakes are higher than the briefcase itself. As you’ve gathered, I LOOOOVE telling jokes. . .but after WCW folded. . . ** _I_** was a joke. I was out of a job. . .I was forgotten by Dark Horse. . .I was portrayed by Jamie Kennedy. . .I slept under bridges. . .I did stand-up in the DIRITIEST of dive bars. . .every night, I had to choose whether to go without food. . .or without clean underwear. . .it was PERILOUS, I TELL YOU!!! But it was ALL worth it. . .once I heard from Space Ghost. He had a place on his roster for an eccentric type like me. . .and just like that, my vagabond days were OVER. . .but my return to prominence. . .began when I debuted. . .and I promise. . .amongst all those ladders. . .amongst all those people in the stands. . .amongst all my enemies and friends. . .that tonight, it will only CULMINATE!!! Now that my mojo is raging inside me and coursing through my veins. . .now that I’ve formed a great circle of new allies in this industry. . .now that I’ve survived the end of the world and THEN some. . .I WILL rise to the occasion! I WILL rise to the top of a ladder!!! I WILL rise to the rafters, and pull that briefcase down in the name of Stanley Ipkiss! I WILL rise and shine like the Teletubbies baby. . .because my star is BACK. . .and it’s. . .SSSSSSMOKIN’!!!!......

 

…..

 

…..but first….

 

…I have a high score to break!”

  
The Mask dashed back to his loveseat and continued playing The Mask video game on his Super Nintendo. . .while Tommy took a LONG drag of his cigarette. “Thanks, Mimi. . .your interviews know how to give a guy a migraine. . .”

 

Mimi frowned. “Can you EVER lighten up?”

 

“Can you get the FUCK outta here? I think your friend has a match to lose!”

 

Mimi scowled before stepping out of the dressing room, muttering to herself, “….so do YOU…”

 

Tommy stopped in his tracks upon hearing that. . .only to shake himself back into reality. The Harwood Butcher then stepped toward The Mask, who was still playing his own video game. . .

 

. . .pulled out a pistol. . .

 

. . .AND SHOT THE TELEVISION SCREEN, BLOWING A GIANT HOLE INTO THE TELEVISION!!! The Mask jumped backward in fear as he stammered and stuttered in shock!

 

“GAAAHHH!!! BUH—WHA---DUH---WHAZZA MATTA WIT’ YOU, MAAAAAN….?” was all The Mask could ask before Tommy responded with—

 

“—IT **_IS_** TOO META FOR ITS OWN GOOD!”

 

Tommy stormed out of the room, leaving The Mask looking dumbfounded at his TV now in ruins until the show transitioned back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

 

**“The following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women’s Championship!”**

 

"Simple and Clean" by Utada Hikaru played as Yuna strutted onto the ramp to cheers from the crowd.

 

"Introducing first. . .the challenger. From Besaid. . .she is 'The Cosmos Summoner'. . .YUNA!"

 

“This July has been quite a month for the Cosmos Summoner. . .she was called up from Liberty City Wrestling, our developmental league, to take part in a tournament to determine the number one contender for the XCW Women’s Championship. She defeated the debuting Margaret and Bloody Mary on her way to the final, and she finds herself here after she won the hard-fought tournament final against the ‘Goddess of Rock’, Casey Lynch. The last time Yuna fought in a match for the Women’s Championship, she was forced to tap out to the Abdominal Stretch. . .but this is a new Yuna. She’s tougher, more tenacious, and has a chip on her shoulder that she won’t rip off until she’s won the Women’s title, and I believe that if this young woman keeps her efforts up, she will be the new champion!” Frylock informed, as Yuna entered the ring above the second rope and stepped on a top rope in a corner, waving toward the fans.

 

“Give me a break, Frylock! This girl doesn’t stand a fuckin’ chance!” dismissed Shake. “You said it yourself, she tapped out to the ABDOMINAL STRETCH. She won against Bloody Mary on a damn ROLL-UP, for crying out loud! She’s gotten ALL the lucky breaks, and her victory against Casey last Monday is IMPOSSIBLE to replicate, especially against a woman like Sora Takenouchi. The only thing that’ll get me to buy into the Cosmos Summoner is a victory right here. . .TONIGHT.”

 

Yuna stood in the center of the ring, looking up the ramp with anticipation until. . .

. . . "Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine plays as Sora runs onto the stage, raising the Women's Championship belt above her head toward the crowd, who was greeting her with a standing ovation.

"And her opponent. . .from Odaiba, Japan, she is the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"

“Sora Takenouchi returns to an Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling ring to a standing ovation, and deservedly so!” Frylock said. “The last time she fought in a match on XCW soil, it was a month ago at Heatwave, where she lost a 1/3rd of her blood supply after Princess Peach cut open an artery. . .but Sora fought tooth and nail with everything she had, and successfully retained her belt. . .only to be absent for the most part of July for the recovery process. But with her first title defense since June just seconds away, the questions have to be asked: Is Sora rested enough to compete tonight, and even if she is. . .does that make her rusty?”

Sora strode down the ramp, high-fiving fans standing along the barricade the whole way before sliding into the ring under the bottom rope, and climbing onto a turnbuckle and posing, raising the Women's title belt toward the fans, who were cheering, “WELCOME BACK!!! WELCOME BACK!!!”

“A rusty Sora is still a competitive Sora, Frylock.” Shake responded. “She’s been fighting with the sincerest of efforts since XCW’s inception, and that’s helped resurrect her career, it won her the 2012 Diva of the Year FWA, and earned her a 3rd place ranking on the PWI Female 25 list! Sora’s come a long way since her days in WWE’s animated division, and if the Hardcore match at Heatwave proved anything, it’s that the Crestbearer of Love can play through all kinds of hurt! If there’s any lingering pain, she’ll shake it off and win this one easily.”

The bell rang and the match began with Sora and Yuna stepping out of their respective corners and pacing around the ring, eventually meeting in the center of it for a tie-up. Sora came out of it by putting Yuna in a waist-lock, only for the Cosmos Summoner to elbow Sora in the face and put her in a waist-lock of her own! Yuna then slugged Sora in the back with a right hand before dropkicking her in the back toward the ropes! Sora bounced off the ropes and ran toward Yuna. . .then slid under her legs during the bounce back and gripped her in another waist-lock. . .but Yuna backpedaled, sending Sora back-first into the corner! Yuna then Irish whipped Sora out of the corner. . .only for Sora to counter it with an Irish whip of her own! Yuna bounced out of the corner hard. . .right into a flying headscissors from Sora! Sora rolled quickly back up to her feet and went for another tie-up. . .only for Yuna to take her down with a flying headscissors of her own! Both women went for jumping dropkicks and whiffed on each attempt before rising up to their knees. . .and stopping in their tracks, prompting the crowd to cheer for the stand-off!

“Ladies and gentlemen. . .I have a feeling we’re in for a great match in the making!” Frylock declared, while both Sora and Yuna backed into opposing corners, pondering what to do next.

“Hmph. . .she’s just giving Yuna a head start. . .” Shake dismissed, before Sora and Yuna charged back toward each other and met in a tie-up, with Yuna putting Sora in a headlock, only for Sora to drop out of it and take Yuna down with a fireman’s carry. Sora then pulled Yuna up by the arm. . .but Yuna countered it into a wrist-lock of her own and wrenched on Sora’s arm! The Women’s Champion winced in pain as Yuna continued to wrench on her arm. . .until she rammed her elbow against Sora’s arm before Irish whipping her across the ring. . .and taking her down with an arm drag! Yuna then ran against the ropes behind her. . .and on the bounceback, landed a spinning leg drop across Sora’s chest! Yuna went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!!!

“Yuna’s the first woman to go for a cover in this one-on-one matchup!” Frylock called. “Will she keep the upper hand?”

Yuna pulled Sora back up. . .only for Sora to slap her hard in the chest with a chop, with the crowd chanting, “WOOOO!” in unison with it. Sora kept hitting Yuna in the chest with chop after chop until she was backed into a corner. Sora then Irish whipped Yuna into the opposite corner before running toward her. . .but the Cosmos Summoner gripped the top ropes before making impact! Yuna pulled herself up, causing Sora to run under her. . .then dropped down, landing back on the mat before taking Sora down with a clothesline!!! Yuna then put Sora in a headlock. . .and spun her out of the corner with a side headlock takedown!!! Yuna then wrenched on Sora’s neck for a bit before pulling her back up. . .and taking her down with a hip toss! Yuna went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!!!

“C’MON, SORA!!! THIS AIN’T ROCKET SCIENCE!!! GET THE HELL UP!!!” shouted Shake, while Yuna pulled Sora up to a standing position. . .

. . .and received another chop from the Women’s Champion! Sora hit the Cosmos Summoner with chop after chop until she was backed up into a corner. Sora then gripped Yuna. . .and sent her flying back to the center of the ring with a Monkey Flip! Sora then strode toward Yuna and pulled her back up. . .only to take her back down with a Northern Lights suplex pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out!!! Sora rose to her knees before pulling Yuna back up to a standing position and nailed her in the chest with another chop before taking her back down to the mat with a swining neckbreaker! Sora went for another cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out!!!

Sora then pulled Yuna up to her feet and put her in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. . .but Yuna drove against the ropes, then on the bounceback, shoved her toward the ropes in front of her, then as the Women’s Champion bounced back, Yuna took Sora down with a Sunset Flip pin attempt! 1. . .2. . .Sora powered out!!! Yuna rolled up to a standing position as Sora did the same and went for another tie-up as she shoved Sora into the corner. . .but Sora was able to grip Yuna by the arm and toss her into the corner instead! Sora hammered away on Yuna’s body with swift knife-edged chops and kicks that caused the Cosmos Summoner to fall into a seated position. Sora then pulled Yuna back up and took her down with a snapmare before putting her in a chin lock!

“Sora’s got Yuna in a submission maneuver! If Yuna doesn’t tap out here, her neck will certainly be weakened!” Frylock called, as Yuna winced in pain while Sora intensified the hold. . .but Yuna planted her feet on the mat before pulling herself up to a standing position with all her might. . .and knocking Sora’s hold loose with a shin kick! Yuna then whipped aroud to face the Women’s Champion. . .

. . .and take her down with an armbreaker!!! With her grip still on Sora’s arm, Yuna pulled her back up. . .and took her down with an armbar before landing a leg drop onto her shoulder! Yuna went for another cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!!!

“The Cosmos Summoner is looking to pick apart Sora from body part to body part, starting with her right arm! What strategy from Yuna!” Frylock said.

“Yeah, well, Sora’s got three more limbs, Fry-man. . .” Shake deadpanned.

Yuna pulled Sora up to her feet and nailed her right between the eyes with a boxer jab. . .

. . .or, she WOULD have, if Sora didn’t catch it with her left hand before it made impact! Sora then retaliated with a three-punch combination of her own before following it up with a clothesline! Sora then gripped Yuna’s feet. . .pulled her legs up. . .

. . .and slingshotted her into a corner face-first!!! Yuna stumbled out of the corner in a daze. . .

. . .and right into a snap suplex from Sora!!! Sora went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Yuna kicked out!!!

“After all that, Sora still only got a 2 count!!!” Frylock said. “Both of these women are putting up a fight against each other for the Women’s Championship!”

Sora then rolled off the cover. . .and gripped Yuna’s wrists while tying up her feet. . .

. . .before lifting her up in a Mexican Surfboard submission maneuver!!! Yuna shrieked in agonizing pain as the referee asked the Cosmos Summoner if she wanted to quit. Yuna violently shook her head no as Sora intensified the hold!

“There’s nowhere to go for widdle Yuna, Frylock!” Shake declared. “The end of this match is in plain sight!”

Still standing the excruciating pain, Yuna tried shifting her body to the left. . .then the right. . .then the left again. . .and the right once more. . .

. . .UNTIL SHE FINALLY BROKE FREE OF THE MEXICAN SURFBOARD!!! Yuna struggled to pull herself up to knees while Sora was well on her way up to a standing position.

“Yuna fought like hell to get out of that Mexican Surfboard. . .” Frylock said, “. . .but how much did that take out of her?”

Sora pulled Yuna up to her feet and nailed her with a left hand that sent Yuna reeling right into an Alabama Slam!!! Sora went for the cover 1. . .

  1. . .



. . .YUNA KICKED OUT!!! Sora couldn’t believe it!

“How the hell is this possible???” Shake wondered. “Did Sora lose some of her POWER in the last month??? What the hell’s going on??”

“Yuna has a never-say-die fighting style, Shake, and she’ll use that mentality no matter what state she’s in!” Frylock replied. “Sora’s shaking off the ring rust, but she’s still looking to re-assert her presence in XCW’s women’s division!”

Sora pulled Yuna up to her feet and went for a kick to the midsection. . .

. . .only for Yuna to catch her leg before it could make impact and nail her in the back of the head with an Enziguri kick!!! Sora reeled across the ring in a daze while Yuna sold her chest in pain before charging toward the Women’s Champion. . .and knocking her down with a Jumping Reverse Elbow!!! Yuna then backed up against the ropes, waiting for Sora to rise up to her feet!

“Yuna’s forgoing the cover in favor of inflicting more damage onto the champion!” Frylock said. “She’s pulling out all the stops!”

Sora eventually rose up to a standing position. . .

. . .while Yuna leapt onto the top rope behind her. . .

. . .AND TOOK SORA DOWN WITH A SPRINGBOARD SPEAR!!!

“A SPRINGBOARD SPEAR FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!” Frylock shouted. “WILL WE HAVE A NEW XCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION?!?!”

The crowd popped with surprise after the impact, then Yuna went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

  1. . .



. . .SORA KICKED OUT!!! Yuna couldn’t believe it!!!

“After that series of impressive maneuvers, all Yuna got out of it was another near-fall. . .but she’s like a house of fire right now!” Frylock declared, as Yuna continued on her tear by pulling Sora up to her feet by her right arm and Irish whipping her into a corner. Yuna then charged after her. . .and successfully landed a corner dropkick into Sora’s chest!!! Sora reeled out of the corner, selling her chest. . .until Yuna came up from behind her and drove her face-first into the mat with a wheelbarrow bulldog!!! As Sora rolled onto her back, clenching her head from the pain, Yuna sprinted toward the corner. . .ran up to the top rope. . .

. . .AND LANDED A CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ONTO SORA!!!

“WHAT A CORKSCREW MOONSAULT!!!! YUNA’S GONNA DO IT!!! WE’RE GONNA HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!”

Yuna sold her chest as she crawled on top of Sora for the cover! 1. . .

  1. . .



. . .SORA KICKED OUT!!! Yuna rolled off from the cover, exasperated!

“OH HOW CLOSE WAS THAT????” Frylock screamed. “Yuna’s put in all that effort and put on a hell of a series of moves just now. . .what’s it gonna take for her to reach the top of the mountain and win the Women’s Championship from Sora tonight???”

“Whatever it takes, Yuna doesn’t have, Frylock!” Shake said. “She used up all her energy on her last two moves!”

Yuna staggered up to her feet, pulling Sora up by the arm with her, and nailed her right between the eyes with a series of boxer jabs that sent her reeling against the ropes! Yuna then stepped backward a bit before leaping up for a roundhouse kick. . .

. . .but Sora ducked, causing Yuna to whiff on the kick, and spin 360 degrees until she could finally face the Women’s Champion again. . .

. . .but Sora gripped her leg and took her down with a dragon screw!!! Sora tried going for the cover. . .but the Cosmos Summoner kicked her in the temple before she could!!! Yuna and Sora pushed themselves up to a standing position and charged toward the center of the ring, meeting in a tie-up. Sora went for a collar-and-elbow tie-up. . .only for Yuna to elbow out of it and put Sora in a headlock before going for a Russian leg sweep, but Sora countered it into a wrist-lock of her own. . .until Yuna Irish whipped Sora across the ring! Yuna hurriedly backed up against the ropes behind her and bounced off of them, going for a jumping cross body block. . .

. . .BUT SORA WENT FOR A CROSS BODY BLOCK OF HER OWN, CAUSING THE TWO OF THEM TO COLLIDE WITH THE SAME MOVE IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!! Both women were down in the center of the ring in a crumbled heap while the crowd began to cheer, “THIS IS AWESOME!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”

“These two women are INCREDIBLY even-matched!” Frylock declared. “But both of them are down, and have done significant damage to one another! Who’s gonna win this thing and walk out of King’s Landing as the Women’s Champion???”

Sora sold her ribs in pain from the impact as she crawled toward the ropes facing the ramp, while Yuna made it to one knee in the center of the ring.

“Sora’s looking to re-establish herself as XCW’s dominant female force. . .while Yuna’s looking to complete her ascension through the ranks of our women’s division! Who will make the first move???”

Both women rose to a standing position and raised their hands in fisticuffs before charging toward each other in the center of the ring. . .and Sora struck first with a knife-edged chop, with the crowd cheering, “WOOOO!” in unison with it! Sora went for another chop. . .but Yuna fired back with a furious chop of her own, with the crowd cheering in unison with it as well! Sora fired back with another chop, only for Yuna to quickly fire back with another knife-edged chop! Both women traded chops faster and faster as the crowd roared in a frenzy. . .

. . .until Sora caught Yuna off-guard with a soccer kick to her gut!!! Sora then nailed Yuna in the kidney with a second soccer kick. . .before taking her down with a Jawbreaker!!! Sora then strode toward a corner turnbuckle and climbed up to the top rope!!!

“The veteran didn’t look rusty there!!” Frylock declared. “And now she’s looking to go high-risk!”

Sora waited for Yuna to rise up to her feet as she sized her up. . .

. . .leapt off the top rope. . .

. . .AND SENT YUNA FLYING ACROSS THE RING WITH A SORACANRANA!!!

“THE SORACANRANA CONNECTS!!!” Frylock shouted. “AND SORA’S GOING FOR THE COVER!!!”

Sora pulled Yuna into the center of the ring and hooked her leg for a cover! 1. . .

  1. . .



. . .2.5 YUNA KICKED OUT!!! Sora couldn’t believe it!!!

“How close was THAT???” Frylock shouted. “Yuna’s heart and determination haven’t given out yet!”

“OH COME ON!!! How is she not REELING after that???” screamed Shake, while Sora took a breath as she rose up to one knee, pondering what to do next. Sora then made it up to her feet and turned around to see Yuna already standing up, then went to grip her arm for an Irish whip across the ring. . .

. . .but Yuna grabbed Sora’s arm and pulled her into a headlock before taking her down with a Russian leg sweep!!! But Yuna, with her teeth grit in perseverance, pulled Sora up to her feet before hitting her with a knee to the gut. . .and dropping her on her FACE with a sitout facebuster!!! Yuna staggered up from her knees while Sora tried to shake her head back into reality. . .but Yuna stepped right behind Sora, her arms splayed as she was ready for the attack!

“Yuna is flat-out DETERMINED to win this match! She’s come a long way to get to this night, and her next move could make the challenge worth it!!!”

Sora rose up to her feet, holding onto the top rope to catch her breath. . .

. . .before turning around. . .

. . .AND GETTING TAKEN DOWN WITH A GUTBUSTER FROM YUNA!!!

“YUNA DROVE HER KNEE RIGHT INTO SORA’S ABDOMEN WITH THAT GUTBUSTER!!! WILL IT BE ALL???” Frylock screamed unintelligibly, as Yuna turned Sora on her back for a cover!! 1. . .

  1. . .



. . .2.5 SORA KICKED OUT!!! Yuna rolled off the cover and groaned with frustration!!!

“NOOO!!! SORA GOT THE SHOULDER UP AT TWO-AND-A-HALF!!!” Frylock screamed.

“She’s tiring herself out, Frylock!!!” Shake declared. “Her relentlessness is gonna cost her sooner than later!”

Yuna pulled herself up with the ropes before putting Sora in a headlock and pulling her up to a standing position. She wrenched on Sora’s neck for a bit before lifting her up for a forward suplex—NO!!! Sora wrapped her leg around Yuna’s before she could even lift her up! Yuna elbowed Sora in the temple. . .but the Women’s Champion nailed her in the chin with an uppercut, breaking her grip! Yuna reeled backward a bit before charging toward Sora. . .

. . .WHO TOOK HER DOWN WITH A JUMPING TORNADO DDT!!! Yuna sold her head in pain while rose up to her knees and shook her head back into reality, unaware that Sora was running against the ropes behind her. The Crestbearer of Love then bounced off the ropes in front of Yuna. . .

. . .AND TOOK HER BACK DOWN WITH THE HEARTSTOPPER!!!

“Sora took Yuna back down with her patented rolling somersault neckbreaker!!!” Frylock shouted. “WILL IT BE ENOUGH?!?!”

Sora pushed Yuna onto her back before going for another cover!!!! 1. . .

“THE WOMEN’S CHAMPION. . .”

. . .

  1. . .



“. . .PROVED THAT TONIGHT. . .”

. . .

. . .2.75 YUNA JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!

“. . .SHE NEVER LEFT—NOOOOOO!!!! YUNA KICKED OUT!!!! BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!! YUNA KICKED OUT!!!”

Sora shot up from the cover with a puzzled look of admiration before rising up to her feet. . .and striding toward the corner again!

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” Shake declared. “Sora landed a high-risk maneuver earlier, and another one may just be the move she needs to finally end Yuna’s unrealistic dream!”

Sora sized up Yuna, who was still laying on her back on the mat below. . .

. . .then leapt off the top rope for a Diving Moonsault. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .ONLY FOR YUNA TO RAISE HER KNEES UP BEFORE SORA COULD MAKE IMPACT!!!!

“YUNA GOT THE KNEES UP!!! WHAT RING AWARENESS FROM THE COSMOS SUMMONER!!!” Frylock called, while the Crestbearer of Courage spun around a bit and yelped in pain, selling her abdomen, and Yuna rose to her feet!!!

“SORA’S PRONE TO ATTACK, AND YUNA’S STILL STANDING!!! WHAT WILL THE COSMOS SUMMONER DO NEXT???” Frylock yelled, as Yuna strode toward Sora and pulled her up only to be taken back a bit by a shoulder block from Sora. Yuna then went for a wrist-lock, but Sora countered it with an Irish whip that sent Yuna running across the ring. Yuna then bounced back toward Sora. . .

. . .who took her down with a drop toe hold. . .

. . .BEFORE LOCKING IN THE CROSSFACE!!!! Sora gripped the hold HARD onto Yuna’s face before spinning onto her back and intensifying the hold!!!

“NO!!! SORA COUNTERED INTO THE CROSSFACE!!!! SHE’S LOOKING UP AT THE LIGHTS AND HAS THE HOLD LOCKED IN!!!” Frylock shouted, as the fans erupted with cheers of excitement while the referee knelt down and asked Yuna if she wanted to quit. Yuna shook her head no but let out a muffled scream of agonizing pain while Sora shouted, “TAAAAP!!!”

“And Yuna’s looking at the ropes, begging for them to be closer!!!” Shake added. “But I don’t know what to tell ‘er! There ain’t nowhere to go, and there ain’t no way she’s getting out of THAT! She should just quit before Sora snaps her neck!”

Yuna tried to thrash and claw her way out of the hold but to no avail, as Sora kept the hold locked in!!! Yuna slowly started to fade into unconsciousness. . .

“. . .or until she passes out. . .” Shake quipped.

“Well, Yuna’s put up a hell of a fight in what has been an EXCELLENT Women’s title match, but Sora’s drive matches her own. . .as the Women’s Champion, there’s no way she wasn’t returning to XCW without giving her ALL. . .”

Yuna’s arm slowly started to drift down to her side, and came close to going limp. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .BUT SHE ELBOWED SORA IN THE SIDE WITH IT BEFORE GRIPPING ONTO HER LEG, AND PLANTING HER FEET ONTO THE MAT!!!

“. . .BUT YUNA WON’T, EITHER!!!” Frylock called, as the crowd erupted into a FRENZY while Sora’s hold weakened, and Yuna slowly pulled herself up to her feet. . .TAKING SORA WITH HER!!!

“CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW THE FUCK YUNA HAS THE CAPACITY TO DO THIS??!?!?” Shake screamed, incredulous. “WHAT KIND OF SPELL OR POTION DID SHE DRINK BEFORE THIS THING???”

“The chip on her shoulder is THAT big, Shake. . .” Frylock said, as Sora set Yuna’s other arm free. . .

. . .ALLOWING YUNA TO COMPLETE HER COUNTER OF THE CROSSFACE INTO A PRAWN HOLD!!!!

“. . .IT’S BIG ENOUGH TO GIVE HER THIS KIND OF STRENGTH!!!” added Frylock, as Sora screamed in agonizing pain while Yuna held onto the submission maneuver with all the strength she had left!!! “SHE’S COUNTERED THE CROSSFACE INTO A PRAWN HOLD!!!”

“WHY DID SORA DO THE CROSSFACE ON HER BACK??? WAS SHE TRYING TO BE AVANT-GARDE??? Some champion. . .” Shake moaned, while Yuna kept the submission maneuver locked in for as long as she could, but Sora would NOT give up. The Cosmos Summoner left her tied up in the Prawn Hold. . .

. . .BEFORE JUMPING DOWN AND DROPPING SORA ONTO THE MAT, KNEES-FIRST!!!! Sora laid on the mat in the fetal position for a bit, selling her knees from the impact!

“GOOD GOD THAT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT!!!” Frylock cringed. “SORA’S KNEES HAVE GOT TO BE STINGING!!!”

Sora sat up, still cringing in pain from the most recent move. . .

. . .ONLY TO BE BLINDSIDED BY THE SHINING WIZARD FROM YUNA!!!!

“BUT YUNA TOOK SORA BY SURPRISE!!! THE SHINING WIZARD CONNECTS!!!!” screamed Frylock, as Yuna dove on top of Sora for the cover, hooking the leg!!!! 1. . .

“WILL THIS BE IT??!?!”

. . .

  1. . .



“WILL YUNA BE VINDICATED. . .”

. . .

. . .

. . .2.75 SORA KICKED OUT!!!!

“AFTER EVERY—NOOOOOOO!!!! SO CLOSE!!!! WE WERE THIS CLOSE TO A NEW WOMEN’S CHAMPION!!!” Frylock called, as Yuna rolled off the cover, disappointed and exhausted from the fight, while the crowd chanted, “THIS IS AWESOME!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”

“The crowd is LOVING the performance these two women have put on for them here tonight. . .but it’s not over until we have a winner! Who’s gonna pick up the victory??? WHO’S GONNA WIN THE WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP???” Frylock called, as Sora stirred a bit as she rolled onto her chest to push herself up to her feet as Yuna pulled herself up with the ropes, raising her fists up while her eyes darted around the ring, her mind racing about what to do next.

“Yuna’s up first!!! What will be her next move???” Frylock wondered, as she saw Sora draping an arm over the middle rope, slowly pulling herself up to her feet. Yuna then dashed across the ring. . .

. . .leapt onto the top rope in front of her. . .

. . .

. . .then leapt BACK off the rope, toward Sora. . .

. . .

. . .AND HIT A SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT--- ** _SORA CAUGHT HER WITH A LEG LARIAT IN MID-AIR!!!!_**

“OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly.

“OHHHHHHHHH HOHOHOHO THAT WAS A SOUL-CRUSHER!!!!” Shake shouted with glee, as both women were down in the ring!!!!

“A LEG LARIAT IN MID-AIR!!!!!! THE WOMEN’S CHAMPION DROVE YUNA TO THE MAT OUTTA NOWHERE!!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd chanted, “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!”. . .while Sora crawled toward Yuna, and rolled her on her back for a cover!!!

“BAH GAWD, THAT’S GOTTA BE IT!!!!” Frylock declared, as the referee made the count 1. . .

“SORA TAKENOUCHI. . .”

. . .

  1. . .



“. . .IS STILL DOMINANT NOW. . .”

. . .

. . .2.99999999999999999 YUNA KICKED OUT!!!!!

“. . .AS SHE WAS—YUNA KICKED OUT!!!! YUNA KICKED OUT!!!! YUNA KICKED OUT!!!!!” Frylock shouted unintelligibly as the fans exploded with deafening gasps and cheers!!!

“I JUST SAW SORA GRIND YUNA’S FACE INTO THE PADDING!!! SHE’S GOTTA BE BRAINDEAD BY NOW!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT??!?!” screamed Shake, as Sora rose onto her knees, looking down at the mat in contemplation.

“This is nothing short of remarkable, ladies and gentlemen!” Frylock declared. “Sora’s coming at the Cosmos Summoner with everything she has, and she should, as the Women’s Champion. . .but Yuna is giving Sora a run for her money!”

“Yuna’s gonna be running to the HOSPITAL after this is all said and done, Frylock!” Shake quipped. “That is, unless she doesn’t remember where it is anymore. . .”

Sora slowly but surely rose up to her feet, pulling Yuna up by the arm with her, before lifting her off her feet and setting her on her shoulders! Sora then sprinted forward for a rolling fireman’s carry slam. . .

. . .but Yuna slipped out of it behind Sora!!! Sora turned around, albeit slowly from fatigue. . .

. . .and was gripped by Yuna. . .

. . .who dropped her onto her back with an overhead belly to belly suplex!!! Sora winced upon making impact with the mat while Yuna pushed herself up to her feet, wavering as she came to a fully standing position. Meanwhile, Sora clenched her lower back in pain as she rolled onto her chest and willed herself up to a standing position. . .

. . .RIGHT INTO TROUBLE IN PARADISE FROM YUNA!!!

“TROUBLE IN PARADISE CONNECTS!!! THAT MOVE ASSISTED YUNA IN THE FINAL MATCH OF THE TOURNAMENT SHE WON!!! BUT WILL IT GET HER THE WIN HERE?!??” Frylock yelled.

“Hmph. . .resorting to the finishing move of her BOY TOY. . .she’s just DESPERATE at this point. . .” Shake dismissed.

“THIS HAS TO BE IT!!!” Frylock declared, as Yuna went for the cover, hooking the leg!!!! 1. . .

“YUNA’S LONG ROAD BACK. . .”

. . .

  1. . .



“. . .TO THE FOLD IN OUR WOMEN’S DIVISION. . .”

. . .

. . .2.999999999999 SORA JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!

“. . .CULMINATES IN---A KICKOUT FROM SORA!!!!” finished Frylock, as Yuna groaned with disappointment while rolling off from the cover, and pulling herself up to her feet with the ropes. . .

. . .before Yuna struck her victory pose, to MASSIVE cheers from the crowd!!!

“What’s she looking so happy about??? The match ain’t over until the referee counts three!” Shake demanded.

“Yuna’s signaling that the end is near to this match. . .and to her struggles in the undercard of our women’s division, Shake!” Frylock declared, as Yuna pulled Sora up by her shirt. . .drug her to the center of the ring. . .

. . .AND PUT HER IN A HEADLOCK!!!

“This is it, Shake!!!” Frylock called. “Yuna’s about to call for The Grand Summon!!!”

Yuna charged toward the corner. . .

 

. . .ran up all three turnbuckles. . .

 

. . .spun around to face the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .BUT SORA GRIPPED YUNA BY HER SIDES. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED HER ON THE MAT WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!!

 

"SUPLEX!!! SORA COUNTERED THE GRAND SUMMON WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!!" shouted Frylock.

 

But Sora wasn't finished. . .keeping her grip on Yuna's waist, she pulled her back up to her feet. . .and took her down with ANOTHER German suplex! Sora then pulled Yuna up one more time. . .and completed the trifecta with a third German suplex!!!

 

"Shades of her husband!!! Sora has grounded Yuna with that German suplex trio!!" Frylock said.

 

"And reality is about to set in for the Cosmos Summoner..." Shake declared.

 

Sora rose up to her feet and saw Yuna in a crumbled heap. . .

 

. . .and stepped toward a nearby corner!

 

"Sora’s going up top with Yuna incapacitated!!! And the fans have been waiting to see this move for the last month..."

 

With the fans on their feet, the Crestbearer of Courage made it to the top turnbuckle. . .

 

. . .sized Yuna up. . .

 

. . .leapt off the top rope. . .

 

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDED THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO YUNA!!!

 

"THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! SORA CONNECTS WITH THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS!"

 

Sora clenched her abdomen from the impact as she crawled on top of Yuna, draping her body over hers for the cover!!!

 

"THE CRESTBEARER OF LOVE..." 1...

 

". . .IS STILL AT THE TOP OF HER GAME. . ."

 

. . .

 

2...

 

". . . .SHE IS AT THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN. . ."

 

. . .

 

...3!!!

 

". . .AND SHE IS STILL THE WOMEN'S CHAMPION!!!" Frylock called, with the crowd bursting into deafening applause while Sora just laid on top of Yuna as the bell rang!

 

**"The winner of this match. . .AND STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!!!"**

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, you have to be proud of the talents that were on display just now!" Frylock said. "These two women gave their all in what was a straight up wrestling match, but in the end, Sora Takenouchi shook off whatever ring rust she had, and after a month-long recovery, she has re-established herself as the most dominant, athletic force in XCW's women's division!"

 

Sora slowly but surely stirred before rising up to her feet, upon which, the referee handed her the Women's title belt and raised her arm in victory, while the fans cheered, "WELCOME BACK!!! WELCOME BACK!!!"

 

"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "There's no way in HELL Sora was gonna lose this match! Yuna wasted her energy by going for too many moves at once without going for the cover. Worthy challengers don't make those kind of mistakes. The last thing she would want to do is return to this company with a check mark in the loss column! She is and always has been as tough as they come throughout her career, and she'll continue to be as long as she is Women's Champion!"

 

"If there's one thing Sora didn't do tonight, Shake. . ."

 

Sora kept the title belt raised above her head...until she saw that Yuna had risen to her feet.

 

". . .it was face an unworthy challenger."

 

She was still wavering from all the bumps she took, and struggled to catch her breath. . .but extended her arm out for a handshake.

 

"Yuna fought valiantly as she beat three other women to get this opportunity, and she wore her determination and resilience on her sleeve for the entire match! Even in a losing effort, she fought with everything she had, and proved her worth as a member of XCW's women's division."

 

Sora looked on at Yuna with a look of pride and admiration. . .

 

. . .before she not only accepted her handshake. . .

 

. . .but raised her arm above her head, to a HUGE pop from the crowd, who began chanting, "YUNA!!! YUNA!!! YUNA!!!"

 

"What a moment. . .if you look in the dictionary for the word, 'sportsmanship', you'll see a picture of both Yuna and Sora Takenouchi." Frylock declared. "Sora was on the receiving end of all of Yuna's efforts here tonight, and the two of them put on an absolutely amazing match."

 

Sora let Yuna's arm go, and the Crestbearer of Love almost told her that she was a fantastic wrestler. . .and that her future was bright. . .

 

"HEY!!! LOOK AT THIS!!!"

 

. . .BUT CASEY LYNCH SLID INTO THE RING AND KNOCKED YUNA DOWN WITH AN ELECTRIC GUITAR SHOT TO THE FACE!!!

 

"NOW, WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!!" Frylock shouted. "WHAT THE HELL IS CASEY LYNCH DOING OUT HERE?!?!"

 

Sora turned to face Casey, absolutely DUMBFOUNDED over what just transpired. . .

 

. . .until Casey knocked HER down with an electric guitar shot!!!!

 

"BAH GAWD, SHAKE! WHAT A CHEAP SHOT!!!" Frylock exclaimed with disgust. "What the hell does Casey Lynch have to do with them??? This is an absolutely vicious assault!"

 

Both Sora and Yuna were down and out in the center of the ring, with Casey Lynch standing over them. The Goddess of Rock then saw the Women's Championship belt sitting next to Sora’s probe body, reached down to pick it up...

 

...and she raised it over her head, to MASSIVE boos from the crowd!

 

"What the hell is she doing, and who does she think she is???" Frylock demanded. "She lost the contender tournament final! She's not the Women's Champion!"

 

"But she's making herself the NEXT one, Frylock!" replied Shake. "The Goddess of Rock has made it very clear that she is next in line for the prize!”

Casey stood in the center of the ring, still raising the Women’s Championship belt above her head while glaring at the camera until the show faded to a video package.

Set to reflective, celebratory piano, the video package began with a shot from UCA Royal Reckoning 1990, where Bugs Bunny pulled down on the top rope, sending Fat Albert flying over it and down to the ringside floor. The crowd EXPLODED with cheers as Bugs raised his hands in triumph.

“BUGS HAS DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE!!!” cried Mickey Mouse. “BUGS BUNNY HAS WON THE FIRST UCA ROYAL RUMBLE!!!”

Bugs was the last man standing in the ring until the video package transitioned to the AWF Christmas Supershow, where Bugs stepped down the ramp to massive cheers from the crowd.

“It is an honor to have a legend like Bugs Bunny here for this event!” Agumon said, before the show transitioned to a shot of Bugs Bunny landing the ACME Elbow Drop onto Luigi in an XCW ring.

“And hello to Bugs Bunny as our new XCW Television Champion!!!” Shake called, over a shot of Bugs climbing onto a top turnbuckle and raising the TV title belt above his head toward the fans. . .until static began to cut sporadically into the image before blanketing the image completely.

Suddenly. . .

. . .the image cut to a wide shot of a shanty liquor store in front of a skyline of skyscrapers with dark clouds hovering above them, and lightning periodically flashing in the sky, all while the faint sound of police sirens can be heard in the distance as the camera slowly but surely pushed in closer to the liquor store.

“Give us what belongs to us in peace. . .” said a gravelly male voice. _“. . .and if you don’t give it to us in peace. . . **we will take it by force.”**_

The police sirens grew louder and louder in volume along with the unsettling sounds of GUNSHOTS. . .until the package cut to black, with a single word appearing on screen. . .

**ROMA.**

**And there’s part two of Silver Lining! I hope it was worth the wait! As always, let me know if everything makes sense, and if my characters are in-character. Part three will come soon, until then, READ AND REVIEW!!!**


	48. XCW Silver Lining: Part 3

**And now. . .comes the EXCITING CONCLUSION of XCW Silver Lining! I only own my championships.**

 

As Silver Lining returned from break, Mimi Tachikawa stood in between Scorpion and Sub-Zero with a microphone in hand.

  
“Scorpion. . .S—Sub-Zero. . .” Mimi stuttered, trembling in fear, “. . .u—up next, you take on Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman for the XCW Tag Team titles. They’ve said more than once that they’ve had a bone to pick with you two after you and the Knighthood assaulted them at the beginning of XCW’s New Era. Do you two have anything to say about that, and the match itself?”

 

“Well, for ONE thing. . .” Scorpion responded, pulling the microphone out of Mimi’s hand. “. . .the South Park Four have journeyed through almost every company in this industry. . .they’ve won several titles, and almost every day, they claim to have ‘learned something’. . .but in all their years of experience, one thing that they’ve never learned to do. . .is GROW UP. Their enforcer had the audacity to bring us down to his level by resorting to name-calling in order to incite a reaction from us. . .well, we don’t NEED to trade barbs to make our point. . .all we MUST do to get our point across. . .is FIGHT. As Assassins, we fight by a code of honor. . .speak with your actions. . .win your battles without deceit. . .and never let up. And with that code, we will smite those loudmouth urchins. . .and claim the Tag Team Championships in the name of the Knighthood. The South Park Four believe that we’re bullying our way through the division. . .I call it making up for wasted time. We were repressed while they reigned with the belts. . .but now that we’re active. . .and Assassins of Hotsuma’s Knighthood. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .tonight, our reign. . .BEGINS.”

 

Scorpion then shoved the microphone back into Mimi’s arms before he and Sub-Zero strode out of the interview area, leaving Mimi backed up against a wall in fear until the show transitioned back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

 

**“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. . .and it is for the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Championship!!!”**

 

“Red Lottery” by Megasus played to massive boos from the crowd as the arena was engulfed in red light, and Scorpion and Sub-Zero stepped onto the stage and down the ramp, their eyes focused on nothing but the ring.

  
“Introducing first. . .the challengers. Representing the Knighthood of Assassins. . .from the NetherRealm. . .the team of SUB-ZERO. . .and ‘The Icon of UWE’. . .SCORPION!!!”

 

“To say that the Knighthood of Assassins has made their presence felt in XCW since the beginning of its New Era is an understatement.” Frylock informed. “And these two men, Scorpion and Sub-Zero, have been a big part of it, hell, they carried out the Knighthood’s first assault when they ambushed the South Park Four in their locker room, going so far as to pull out Kenny’s spine! Flash forward to the following week, where Scorpion made the challenge to Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh, and the current tag team champions accepted their challenge in an emphatic way, by returning to Monday Night Massacre later that night and attack the Knighthood before they could assault Tai Kamiya again! And the South Park Four have spoken their mind about their opponents here tonight, and both teams have gotten enough licks on each other leading up to this tag team title match that’s only minutes away!”

 

Scorpion and Sub-Zero entered the ring above the second rope and scanned the arena, glaring at the fans with a look of apathy.

 

“These two men have been fuckin’ relentless in their pursuit of taking over Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!” Shake added. “And they’re just as relentless inside the ring as they are out of it. Sub-Zero has won all the male titles in UWE at least once, and has held the Duos titles with Scorpion on two occasions. And we all know of Scorpion’s status as the Icon of UWE. . .but there’s something else you can’t ignore about the warrior of the Shirai Ryu clan: along with his now former partner, Spin The Hedgehog, he just lost the Duo’s titles at UWE Collision to a team from another company. Knowing that, Scorpion has gotta be angry. . .and when the Icon of UWE is angry. . .you better get out of his way.”

 

Scorpion and Sub-Zero stood in their corner, looking up the ramp with anticipation until. . .

 

. . ."What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played! Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman walked onto the stage to cheers from the crowd.

 

"And their opponents. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .they are the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .the team of THE ENFORCER, ERIC CARTMAN, AND THE LEADER, STAN MARSH!"

 

“Stan and Cartman have held the XCW Tag Team titles ever since they made their debut in this company back in April!” Frylock informed. “They’ve beaten D-Generation Ed, they’ve stood toe-to-toe against Team 2D, and are fresh off the heels of a victory in this company’s first-ever Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. The four of them as a whole have become a formidable force in XCW’s tag team division. . .but tonight brings the biggest challenge to date for this duo in XCW. Scorpion and Sub-Zero are skilled in ninjitsu, and experienced Kombatants. . .they even fight under a code of honor and nobility as members of the Knighthood! These kids have the charisma. . .but do they have the stamina to keep up with these angered warriors?”

 

Stan and Cartman ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising the belts toward the fans, who continued to cheer.

 

“I think they do, Frylock!” Shake said. “They not only have a ton of experience as a tag team, but they’re also a crafty bunch of kids. They’ve pulled victories out of their asses more than once in their rivalries with D-Generation Ed, and Stan has proven himself as a solid technical wrestler! And while The Enforcer, Eric Cartman, may be the most outspoken of the bunch, but he has the power, strength and brash attitude that’s a perfect counter to the Knighthood’s ferocity. They want nothing more than to keep the tag titles in XCW, but the Knighthood intends to claim the tag team titles as their own as they strive to take over this company. With those kinds of stakes. . .and a victory for the Knighthood that came earlier tonight. . .it’ll be impossible to relax until the final bell rings.”

 

The bell rang and the match began with Stan Marsh squaring off against Scorpion. . .

 

. . .WHO TOOK DOWN THE SOUTH PARK LEADER WITH A SICKENING CLOTHESLINE!!!

  
“OOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!” Frylock cringed. “That looked like it hurt. . .”

 

“Well, THIS is off to a good start. . .” Shake added, as Scorpion pulled Stan up to his feet and hit him in the face with a three-punch combination before slugging him in the chest with a throat thrust! Scorpion then Irish whipped Stan across the ring and took him down with a discus clothesline! The Icon of UWE then lifted Stan up and planted him onto the mat with a gutwrench powerbomb! Scorpion went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!!! Scorpion grimaced under his mask before pulling Stan back up to his feet and Irish whipping him HARD into a corner. Scorpion then charged toward him and nailed him in the chest with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Stan fell to a seated position, then Scorpion smothered him with a series of mudhole stomps! Scorpion then pulled Stan by a leg into the center of the ring and went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!!!

 

Scorpion then pulled Stan up by the shirt collar and tossed him into his corner before tagging in Sub-Zero. Sub-Zero leapt over all three ropes before he and Scorpion began pummeling Stan with a series of mudhole kicks, with Sub-Zero capping it with a roundhouse kick that sent Stan falling onto the mat face-first! Scorpion then stepped onto the ring apron behind his corner. . .but not before he and Sub-Zero Irish whipped Stan HARD into the opposing corner! Stan fell into a seated position upon impact, then Cartman tagged himself in!

 

“And here comes the South Park Enforcer. . .” Frylock informed. “If he’s as on fire now as he was last week on Monday, he’ll fare better than his tag team partner!”

 

Cartman charged toward Sub-Zero and put him in a tie-up. . .but Sub-Zero fought out of it by elbowing Cartman on the back, then Irish whipping the South Park Enforcer into a nearby corner. Sub-Zero then charged toward Cartman. . .and hit him in the corner with a corner splash!!! Sub-Zero then put Cartman in a headlock. . .and took him down with a running bulldog in the center of the ring! Sub-Zero went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Cartman kicked out!!! Sub-Zero pulled Cartman up to his feet and hit Cartman in the gut with several swift kicks before taking him down with a Gutbuster! Sub-Zero went for another cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Cartman kicked out!

 

“Sub-Zero’s been as dominant as his tag team partner in the early goings of this match, but Cartman’s harder to put away!” Frylock observed. “How will the South Park Enforcer retaliate?”

 

“He needs to use his damn overhang to his advantage!” Shake said. “Being fat has its benefits!”

 

Sub-Zero pulled Cartman up to his feet. . .only for the South Park Enforcer to surprise the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster with a knee to the gut! Cartman then put Sub-Zero in a headlock, only for Sub-Zero to charge forward, driving Cartman into the ropes. Sub-Zero then Irish whipped Cartman across the ring off the bounceback. . .only for Cartman to counter with an Irish whip of his own! Sub-Zero bounced back. . .and Cartman sent him flying with a back body drop!!! Cartman then ran against the ropes behind him. . .and successfully landed a Leg Drop across Sub-Zero’s chest! Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sub-Zero kicked out!!! Cartman pulled Sub-Zero back up to a standing position and slugged him with a right hand right between the eyes that sent Sub-Zero careening against the ropes behind him. Sub-Zero bounced off. . .right into a Spinebuster from Cartman! The South Park Enforcer went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sub-Zero kicked out!!!

 

Cartman pulled Sub-Zero up to his feet and slapped him across the chest with a chop! Cartman continued to hit Sub-Zero with chop after chop until Sub-Zero was driven into his corner. Cartman then backed up and charged toward the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster for a high knee. . .only for Sub-Zero to spin out of the corner, causing Cartman to hit the middle turnbuckle with his knee!!! Cartman stumbled out of the corner in pain until Sub-Zero dropkicked the South Park Enforcer against the ropes behind him, then clotheslined him out of the ring, down to the ringside floor below! Cartman struggled up to his feet. . .only to be met with a Diving Headscissors from Sub-Zero that caused Cartman to hit the ring apron back first!!! Cartman laid on the ringside floor in a crumbled heap as the referee began the ten count!

“Cartman was able to ground Sub-Zero only for so long. . .and right now, given his opponents, the South Park Enforcer is in the worst possible place in the arena right now!” Frylock declared as Cartman staggered up to his feet, only for Sub-Zero to nail him in the face with a right hand, then rammed his face into the ring apron. The Lin-Kuei Grandmaster then Irish whipped Cartman across the floor and right into a set of steel steps, causing Cartman to collide into them with a sickening thud!!! The referee’s count had reached four up to this point.

 

“No kidding, Frylock!” Shake agreed. “Sub-Zero is just having his WAY with the South Park Enforcer!”

 

Sub-Zero pulled Cartman up to his feet and slammed him face-first into the ring pole before sliding him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Sub-Zero then slid in after him and ran toward him before leaping up. . .and landing a Somersault Leg Drop across the back of Cartman!!! Sub-Zero went for a cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Cartman kicked out!!! Sub-Zero gripped Cartman up and tossed him into his corner. . .

 

. . .or, he WOULD have, if Cartman didn’t surprise Sub-Zero with a back kick to the shin!!! Sub-Zero sold his leg in pain until Cartman backed up and put Sub-Zero into a headlock. . .and took him down with a Russian leg sweep! Cartman then backed up against the ropes. . .and landed a falling elbow onto Sub-Zero’s chest!!! Cartman went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Sub-Zero kicked out!!!

 

“Cartman retaliated, but STILL only got the two count!” Frylock called. “And now Cartman DESPERATELY needs to make a tag!”

 

“I dunno, Frylock. . .Cartman took a beating, but has Stan fully recovered from HIS beating earlier in the match?” Shake wondered, as Cartman rolled toward his corner and successfully made the tag to Stan! Stan entered the ring above the second rope and went for a running clothesline, but Sub-Zero ducked under it and went for a spinning heel kick. . .but Stan ducked under it! Sub-Zero spun back around to face Stan. . .who slugged him with a European uppercut! Stan hit Sub-Zero with another uppercut before dropping him with an inverted Atomic Drop!!! Sub-Zero reeled backwards around the ring until he came back toward Stan. . .

 

. . .who lifted him up and took him down with a pendulum backbreaker!!! Stan quickly went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Sub-Zero kicked out!!!

 

“NOOOO!!! Sub-Zero JUST got the shoulder up!!!” Frylock said, as Stan pulled Sub-Zero up to a standing position and hit him in the chin with another European uppercut, then followed it up with a series of chops that backed Sub-Zero up into the corner. Stan then backed up to the center of the ring, then charged toward Sub-Zero for a running elbow smash. . .

 

. . .but Sub-Zero rolled out of the way, causing Stan to collide arm and face first into the top turnbuckle!!! Stan stumbled out of the corner. . .

 

. . .AND RIGHT INTO A STANDING SEA FIRE FROM SUB-ZERO!!! The Lin Kuei Grandmaster then ran against the ropes behind him as Stan pushed himself up to his knees. . .only to be brought back down by a double underhook bulldog!!! Sub-Zero rolled the South Park Leader onto his back for the cover, 1. . .2. . .Stan kicked out!!!

 

Sub-Zero then rose up from the cover with an annoyed grimace under his mask. . .and strode toward the South Park Four’s corner, and climbing up to the top rope!

 

“The Lin Kuei Grandmaster is indeed a grandmaster at going high-risk. . .could this be the move that brings to the XCW Tag Team titles into the Knighthood of Assassins?” Frylock wondered, as Sub-Zero sized Stan up. . .

 

. . .until Cartman was pulling on his leg from the ring apron!!!

 

“NOT IF CARTMAN HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!!!” Shake shouted, as Cartman kept his grip on Sub-Zero’s foot, preventing the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster from leaping off!

 

“The South Park Enforcer is living up to his moniker by enforcing his presence in this tag team championship matchup!!!” Frylock called, as Sub-Zero tried kicking Cartman off his grasp. . .and finally was able to back kick him in the face hard enough to knock Cartman off the ring apron and down to the ringside floor!!! Sub-Zero then looked back into Stan’s direction—

 

\--AND THE SOUTH PARK LEADER WAS CLIMBING UP THE TOP ROPE IN FRONT OF HIM!!!

 

“AND STAN MARSH IS UP!!!” Frylock screamed. “The South Park Leader is hammering away on the chest of Sub-Zero!!!”

 

Stan battered Sub-Zero in the chest with several right and left hands before following it up with a European uppercut that sent Sub-Zero reeling backward!!! But Stan gripped onto the shoulders of the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster, keeping him balanced as he draped his arm over his back!!!

 

“Stan’s gained the upper hand. . .but one way or another, both of these men have to come down!!!” Frylock declared, as Stan lifted Sub-Zero up. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND TOOK HIM BACK DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A SUPERPLEX!!!!

 

“THE SOUTH PARK LEADER TOOK DOWN SUB-ZERO WITH A SUPERPLEX!!! AND BAH GAWD, HE MAY HAVE HIM HERE!!!” Frylock yelled, as Stan crawled on top of Sub-Zero for the cover! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .SUB-ZERO KICKED OUT!!! Stan couldn’t believe it!!!

 

“NOOOOOO HOW CLOSE WAS THAT????” Frylock shouted, as Stan pushed himself up to a standing position. The South Park Leader then turned Sub-Zero onto his chest. . .

 

. . .AND LOCKED HIM IN THE SHARPSHOOTER!!!! Sub-Zero screamed in agonizing pain as Stan intensified the hold to massive cheers from the crowd!!! Sub-Zero screamed as the referee knelt next to him and asked if he wanted to quit. Sub-Zero shook his head no as he struggled to push himself toward the ropes!

"THE SHARPSHOOTER!!! STAN’S GOT SUB-ZERO LOCKED IN THE SHARPSHOOTER!!!" Frylock exclaimed as Sub-Zero inched closer toward the ropes. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .BUT STAN STEPPED BACK INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING, KEEPING THE SHARPSHOOTER LOCKED IN!!!!

“There’s NOWHERE for Sub-Zero to go!!!” Shake called. “THE SOUTH PARK LEADER HAS THE UPPER HAND!!!”

Stan screamed, “TAP!!!” at the top of his lungs as he knelt onto Sub-Zero’s back, keeping his specialty submission maneuver locked in. . .

. . .UNTIL SCORPION CHARGED INTO THE RING AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A VICIOUS CLOTHESLINE!!!! With the hold finally broken, Sub-Zero writhed with pain as he crawled to a corner while Scorpion loomed over Stan as the referee ordered him to leave the ring. . .

. . .BUT THEN, CARTMAN RAN INTO THE RING AND CLOTHESLINED SCORPION DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR BELOW!!!

“AND THE SOUTH PARK ENFORCER IS LIKE A HOUSE OF FIRE RIGHT NOW AGAINST THE KNIGHTHOOD!” Frylock shouted. “He’s had just about enough of them!”

The referee ordered Cartman back to his corner, which he willingly complied to do, as Stan pulled himself up to a standing position in a corner. . .staggered toward the center of the ring. . .

. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A FLYING CLOTHESLINE FROM SUB-ZERO!!!

“Despite the pain he suffered at the hands of the Sharpshooter, Sub-Zero had enough in the tank for a high-risk maneuver!!! Will this be it???” Frylock called, as Sub-Zero went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .

  1. . .



. . .STAN KICKED OUT!!!! Sub-Zero rolled off the cover, looking up at the lights in exasperation before he and Stan began to crawl toward their corners for a tag!!!

“These two men have done their fair share of damage to each other in the course of this match, but if that scuffle was any indication, Eric Cartman and Scorpion are looking to beat the holy hell out of each other!” Frylock declared. “Who’s gonna win this match??? WHO’S GOING TO LEAVE KING’S LANDING AS THE XCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS???”

“I don’t know, but I can’t wait to see those two lock up after what just transpired!” Shake said. “The South Park Four have rebounded since the start of this match, but the Knighthood hasn’t let up! What’s gonna happen when the South Park Enforcer and the NetherRealm Warrior get back into this matchup!”

Scorpion and Cartman slapped their hands against the top corners in front of them as their partners crawled closer toward them. Stan and Sub-Zero extended their hands out. . .

. . .reached for their partners hands. . .

. . .and successfully made the tags, with Cartman getting tagged in just a second before Scorpion!

“AND BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!!!” Frylock called, as Cartman and Scorpion entered the ring, charging toward each other and meeting in the center of the ring, with Cartman tackling Scorpion into a corner, hammering him in the chest with swift right and left hands. . .until Scorpion made an opening by nailing Cartman right between the eyes with a headbutt!!! Cartman stumbled backwards to the center of the ring. . .

. . .BEFORE GETTING SPEARED TO THE MAT BY SCORPION!!!

“DEAR LORD WHAT A DEMORALIZING SPEAR!!!” Frylock cringed. “CARTMAN MAY BE BROKEN SMACK-DAB IN HALF!!!!”

“AND HE MAY NO LONGER BE A TAG TEAM CHAMPION!!!” Shake added, as Scorpion hooked the leg for the cover!!! 1. . .

. . .

  1. . .



. . .

. . .2.5 CARTMAN KICKED OUT!!!! Scorpion couldn’t believe it!!

“NO!!! CARTMAN JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!” Frylock said, as Scorpion grabbed Cartman up by his collar and slugged him HARD in the sternum with a throat thrust! Scorpion then lifted Cartman up for a powerbomb. . .

. . .only for the South Park Enforcer to slip out of it and land behind Scorpion! The Icon of UWE turned around to face Cartman. . .

. . .who kicked him in the midsection. . .

. . .AND HIT THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER—NO!!! Scorpion shoved Cartman toward the ropes in front of him! Cartman bounced back, and Scorpion bent over for a back body drop. . .but Cartman kicked him right in the face before making impact!!! Scorpion reeled backward and Cartman charged toward him. . .

. . .AND TOOK DOWN THE ICON OF UWE WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS, AND HAMMERED AWAY AT SCORPION’S FACE WITH SWIFT RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS!!! The crowd erupted with cheers as Cartman rose up, raising a chubby arm high above his head before running against the ropes behind him. . .

. . .charging toward Scorpion. . .

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDING THE BIG BOY SPLASH ONTO SCORPION’S STERNUM!!!

“CARTMAN CONNECTED WITH THE BIG BOY SPLASH!!! HIS CWF FINISHER MAY BE WHAT SEALS THE DEAL HERE!!!” Frylock declared.

“The fat boy is actually putting his weight to good use!” Shake quipped, as Cartman hooked Scorpion’s leg for a cover!!! 1. . .

  1. . .



. . .2.5 SCORPION KICKED OUT!!!

“NOOOOO!!! SCORPION STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” Frylock shouted, as Cartman rolled off Scorpion and pushed himself up to his knees, pondering what to do next.

“Cartman may be big-boned, but it’s gotta take more than that to keep the tough-as-nails Scorpion down!” Shake said. “It’ll be interesting to see what the South Park Enforcer does next. . .”

Cartman then rose up to his feet while Scorpion was kneeling against the ropes in front of him. Cartman then gripped Scorpion’s arm and pulled him into the center of the ring, put him in a front face lock. . .

. . .lifted him up for a piledriver. . .

. . .or, he TRIED to, but Scorpion drove Cartman against the ropes behind him, then Irish whipped him across the ring on the bounceback, breaking his grip! Cartman bounced off the ropes across the ring, then ran back toward Scorpion. . .who lifted him off the mat. . .stepped to the center of the ring. . .and dropped Cartman with a Shiranui! Scorpion then stepped into a corner and shouted, “GET OVER HERE!!!” taunting Cartman to stand up.

“The veteran Scorpion used his ring awareness to avoid Cartman’s piledriver. . .but now what’s he looking to do?” Frylock wondered, as Scorpion stomped on the mat once. . .

. . .twice. . .

. . .AND A THIRD TIME until Cartman finally staggered up to his feet, wavering from the Shiranui he just took. . .but Scorpion raised his arms HIGH above his head. . .

. . .and ignited Hellfire out of his hands?

“When did Scorpion of all people get a taste for the theatrical?” Shake wondered with confusion until Scorpion charged out of the corner. . .

. . .AND KNOCKED CARTMAN DOWN WITH A SUPERKICK!!!

“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY THAT SUPERKICK ALMOST TOOK CARTMAN’S HEAD OFF!!!” Frylock shouted.

“GEEZ!!! Igniting that fire was the LEAST painful thing that came out of that. . .” Shake said, as Scorpion lifted Cartman’s leg up before going for a cover!!! 1. . .

. . .

  1. . .



. . .

. . .2.75 CARTMAN GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!! SCORPION PUNCHED THE MAT REPEATEDLY IN FRUSTRATION!!!

“CARTMAN KICKED OUT!!! AND SCORPION IS OUTRIGHT LIVID RIGHT NOW!!!” Frylock screamed, as Scorpion exhaled with annoyance while coming to a standing position, pulling Cartman up with him. The Icon of UWE then slugged Cartman in the midsection with a throat thrust, then lifted him up for a gutwrench suplex. . .

. . .but Cartman surprised Scorpion with a right hand after lifting him up!!! Scorpion let go of the South Park Enforcer before hitting the ropes behind him. Scorpion came back toward Cartman and the two became engaged in a tie-up. Scorpion came out of it with Cartman in a wrist-lock, then pulled him closer to put him in a waist-lock. . .then lifted him up for a back suplex side slam. . .

. . .but Cartman countered it by putting Scorpion in a headlock as he was lifting him up, then drove him face-first into the mat with a bulldog! Cartman then rose up to his feet, stepping toward the ropes as he sold his lower back in pain while Scorpion rose up to a standing position. Cartman then stepped toward Scorpion. . .then LIFTED HIM OFF HIS FEET. . .

. . .

. . .AND THIS TIME, CONNECTED WITH THE PILEDRIVER!!!

“NOW THE PILEDRIVER CONNECTS!!!” Frylock called. “Cartman drove Scorpion’s surgically repaired neck into the mat!!! Will it be enough to retain the Tag Team titles for the South Park Four???”

Cartman went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

. . .

  1. . .



. . .

. . .2.75 SCORPION KICKED OUT!!!! Cartman rolled off the cover, screaming with frustration!

“Cartman’s been reduced to tears over his inability to put Scorpion away. . .the Big Boy of South Park needs to get over it and go for the kill!!!” Shake declared, as Cartman pulled himself up to his feet and turned around, waving his hands upward shouting, “GET UP, YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE!!!”

“The South Park Enforcer is running on pure adrenaline right now, Shake!” Frylock said. “His primary focus is on putting down this tenacious veteran, and securing the XCW Tag Team titles for himself and the rest of the South Park Four!” Frylock said, as Scorpion made it to a standing position, as Cartman wrapped his arms around Scorpion’s back. . .lifted him up. . .

. . .or, he WOULD HAVE, if Scorpion didn’t knee Cartman in the gut!!! Scorpion battled back with another knee to the gut before taking Cartman down with a shoulder block!!! Cartman tried crawling toward his corner. . .but Scorpion gripped his arm and whipped him around to face him before lifting him up. . .

. . .AND DRIVING HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A 110TH STREET SLAM!!! Cartman cringed in agonizing pain as Scorpion loomed over the South Park Enforcer, shouting, “GET OVER HERE!!!” to BOOS from the crowd while Cartman struggled to get up.

“And Scorpion now. . .stalking Eric Cartman. . .hearing more boos than cheers right now, and deservedly so. . .he’s always been one of the most decorated, and iconic characters in fiction, and in this industry. . .but to see what he’s become and how he got here is nothing short of unsettling. . .” Shake began, as Cartman staggered up to his feet. . .

. . .only for Scorpion to put him in a headlock. . .

. . .AND DRIVE HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH THE SCORPION DEATH DROP!!!!

“. . .AND IT’S THIS SCORPION THAT’S ABOUT TO GAIN HIS TEAM ANOTHER CHAMPIONSHIP!!!” finished Frylock, as the crowd booed even louder while Scorpion went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

“As unfortunate as it is. . .”

. . .

  1. . .



“. . .it’s gotten Scorpion the win. . .”

. . .

. . .2.9999999999 STAN BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT WITH A POINTED ELBOW DROP ONTO SCORPION!!!!

“. . .and his first title in XC—OR MAYBE NOT!!!!” Frylock yelled, as the crowd erupted with cheers!!! “STAN MARSH MADE THE SAVE!!!”

“AND HE HURT SCORPION IN THE PROCESS!!!” Shake added, as Scorpion winced in pain, selling his upper body from the impact while he rose up to his feet, giving a malicious glare to Stan, who hurried back onto the ring apron at his corner. Scorpion turned to look at Sub-Zero, who was stepping back onto the ring apron at his corner.

“The Lin-Kuei Grandmaster thought about coming to the aid of his tag team partner. . .but Stan was too quick to leave the ring!” Frylock said. “The tension between these two teams has only gotten higher as this match has progressed—“

Scorpion nodded upon seeing Sub-Zero return to his corner before turning around. . .

. . .AND GETTING KICKED IN THE MIDSECTION BY CARTMAN BEFORE BEING TAKEN DOWN WITH THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!!

“THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER CONNECTS!!!! CARTMAN TOOK ADVANTAGE OFF THE DISTRACTION!!!” Frylock cried, as the crowd BURST into cheers as Cartman pulled Scorpion into the center of the ring for a cover!!!

“THAT’S IT, IT’S GOTTA BE OVER!!!” Shake declared as the referee made the count!!! 1. . .

“THE SOUTH PARK FOUR. . .”

. . .

  1. . .



“. . .ARE STILL AT THE TOP. . .”

. . .

. . .2.999999999999 SUB-ZERO LANDED THE MOONSAULT SENTON ONTO CARTMAN, BREAKING UP THE THREE-COUNT!!!!

“. . .OF THE TAG TEAM FOOD CHAIN—OHHHHH!!!!!!!” Shake cringed, as Cartman rolled off the cover, selling his back in pain!!!

“SUB-ZERO BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH HIS MOONSAULT SENTON!!! AND NOW STAN’S COMING IN TO EVEN THE ODDS!!!!” Frylock shouted, as Stan entered the ring and charged toward Sub-Zero. . .

. . .who leapt up. . .spun around him. . .

. . .AND DROVE STAN DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A WHEELBARROW BODYSCISSORS BULLDOG!!! Stan sold his head and face in pain as he rolled out of the ring, and down to the ringside floor while the referee ordered Sub-Zero back to his corner. As Sub-Zero strode back to his corner, Scorpion stood in another one, waiting for Cartman to stand up. But the South Park Enforcer was cringing in pain from the stinger he suffered at the hands of the Moonsault Senton. . .making it practically a CHALLENGE for him to just make it to his knees.

“Stan didn’t want Sub-Zero to get away with breaking the three-count. . .but he got a faceplant for his troubles. . .now what’s Cartman gonna get just for being the Knighthood’s remaining opponent in this match?” Shake wondered, as Cartman finally made it to his feet. . .

“I hate to find out, Shake. . .” Frylock replied, as Cartman raised his fists toward Scorpion. . .

. . .who dashed out of the corner. . .

. . .AND DROVE CARTMAN HEAD AND FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH THE FATALITY!!!

“. . .BUT WHEN WE DO, IT’S A SURE FIRE FATALITY!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as the crowd erupted into boos, and Scorpion. . .gripped Cartman by his collar?

“But yet. . .it’s NOT over. . .NOT for Scorpion. . .” Frylock foreboded.

“Oh no. . .what ELSE can he possibly do to him???” Shake wondered, as Scorpion strode toward his corner. . .and tagged in Sub-Zero!!!

“Sub-Zero’s now the legal man! What could these two possibly be thinking???” Frylock asked aloud, as Sub-Zero ran behind Scorpion, who lifted Cartman up for a Gutwrench Suplex. . .

. . .then Sub-Zero caught his legs. . .

. . .and the two of them PLANTED CARTMAN ONTO THE MAT WITH THE EXECUTION (Beer Money’s Drinking While Investing)!!!

“NOOOOOOOOO!!!! THE KNIGHTHOOD CONNECTS WITH THE EXECUTION!!!” Frylock screamed, as Sub-Zero baseball slid out of the ring while Scorpion went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

“NOT THIS WAY. . .”

. . .

  1. . .



“NOT LIKE THIS. . .”

. . .

. . .3!!!!

“DAMMIT!!! THE KNIGHTHOOD CLAIMS ANOTHER CHAMPIONSHIP!!!” Frylock shouted with disgust as Scorpion rose to his knees while the bell rang!

**“The winners of this match. . . . . .AND THE NEEEEEEW. . .XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. . .SCORPION AND SUB-ZERO. . .THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS!!!!!”**

“Well, Frylock. . .I know this isn’t what we wanted. . .but after how the match began, the South Park Four came back fighting, and the tensions between these two teams only got higher and higher as the match went on! You have to wonder if they’ll take this lying down. . .and you have to at least give the Knighthood of Assassins credit. . .” Shake said. “They fought fairly and competed in the ring with the honor and nobility that they stand for. . .and Sub-Zero and Scorpion have won tag team championships together in now THREE companies!”

The referee raised Scorpion and Sub-Zero’s arms in victory before handing them the Tag Team title belts. Scorpion and Sub-Zero raised the belts high above their heads as the crowd was RELENTLESS in their booing.

“They also stand for ASSAULTING their way to the top, Shake!” Frylock snapped. “I don’t care HOW they fought. . .I don’t care if they won this match fairly, or by their code. . .but these two men are part of the most destructive, most attitudinal stable in this company. . .and now they’ve taken possession of both the XCW Hardcore Championship AND the XCW Tag Team Championship! They might actually TAKE OVER Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling before Silver Lining is all said and done. . .what else will they claim tonight?”

Scorpion and Sub-Zero glared at the prone bodies of Eric Cartman and Stan Marsh until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Mimi Tachikawa stood next to Bugs Bunny with a microphone in hand.

“Bugs Bunny. . .” Mimi said, “. . .after your match against Sweet Tooth two weeks ago on Monday Night Massacre, Daffy Duck assaulted you and joined the Knighthood of Assassins. Given how you were absent last week, I have to ask. . .how do you feel about your oldest rival and now former ally has become a member of the Knighthood, and will be in Hotsuma’s corner during the main event tonight?”

“Well, Doc. . .I can’t say I wasn’t upset about the whole ordeal.” Bugs responded. “I thought Daffy and I let bygones be bygones all those years ago after that Ironman match. . .I really did. While we still played the same pranks we’d play on each other every spring, summer, fall, winter, Wrestlemania season, rabbit season, and duck season, the only times we EVER laid a hand on each other. . .was in support of one another. We were the best of friends after all that. . .but after--”

Bugs paused for a minute and sighed after swallowing a lump in his throat.

“—after that assault. . .and after his words about me last week, I realized that since we buried the hatchet, he hadn’t changed ONE BIT. He resented the fact that I was wrestling again. . .he couldn’t accept that he got the final victory over me back in 1996. . .he wanted to dig up the hatchet and come after me with it all over again. He saw joining the Knighthood as the right moment to strike with it. . .and he did. . .he struck me, and it hurt like HECK, Doc. . .a new chapter in our rivalry was written that night. . .but tonight, I’ve got the pen! He can be as exempt from the Knighthood’s Code of Combat as possible, but he won’t get away with violating our truce! By joining the Knighthood and turning on me, Daffy broke my heart. . .but if Daffy tries to screw Tai out of the World Heavyweight Championship tonight. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .I’ll break HIM.”

Bugs stepped out of the interview area, leaving Mimi shocked over Bugs’ words until Silver Lining faded to a commercial break.

As Silver Lining returned from break, Mimi Tachikawa stood in the interview area next to Shenhua with a microphone in hand.

“Shenhua, you were one of the competitors in the number one contender’s tournament for Sora’s XCW Women’s Championship over the last month, and although you were eliminated in the first round, you left an impression in your debut match. Given how tonight’s match between Sora and Yuna ended, where do you see the XCW Women’s title picture heading, and can you say anything about the state of XCW’s Women’s division as a whole?”

"Oh, you ask me silly question like that? You not too bright, are you?" Shenhua smirked as she did her lipstick while looking at herself in a compact mirror. "I see XCW Women's Title picture heading my way. Oh, Casey make statement, how nice, but I no care about that stupid bitch. I care only for XCW Women's Title." Shenhua then closed her compact mirror, and showed off a nasty, vile grin. "Anyone else just in my way, and I split asses in four, you hear? This only end with me XCW Women's Champion. As for entire Division, I say, I not very impressed. Wasp got lucky fluke over me, everyone get one now and then. But Division not so extreme. Where aggression? Where ruthlessness? Where any of it? Few hardcore moves, and that it? These girls just a bunch of whores for me to break. Oh well, if that is case, might show them how we do things in Roanapur, you hear? And no one want to see what Roanapur like. But they no get choice in matter, so sorry. XCW drafted me, so I have fun with them all how I want to. That what they get for being such bitches for me to slice down until I become Women's Champion."

 

Shenhua looked confidently into the camera. . .

 

. . .until she heard FOOTSTEPS growing louder in her direction. . .

 

. . .and _applause_ coming from the background. . .?

 

“Bravo!!! Bravo!” said a mysterious figure. “What an emphatic choice of slovos (words) to tell off those gloopy (stupid) bitches! Job well done. . .”

 

Shenhua narrowed her eyes at the sound of the words and whipped around to face the darker end of the hallway, and the whistling as well as footsteps of the mysterious figure stopped.

 

“Hi hi hi there.” said the figure, still on the dark end of the hallway.

 

“Who are you???” Shenhua shouted, brandishing a shuriken. “Tell me or I BREAK you right here, right now!”

 

“My. . .what harsh words from a destructive devotchka (woman) like yourself. . .” said the figure. “Those are the clients I find the most fun to employ. . .”

 

“Client? Employ?” Shenhua asked, lowering her shuriken. “What you mean?”

 

“Allow me to explain. . .”

 

The figure then stepped out of the shadows of the hallway, revealing himself to be. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .ALEXANDER DELARGE!!!

 

“. . .there was me. . .that is ALEX. . .and my two clients in one company. Ever since they trusted their careers in me, their success as a duo has paid off in proverbial spades. . .now that I was drafted to THIS company, I intend to accomplish the same HERE. . .starting with an offer to you, my dearie. You are invited to join my clientele. . .interested?”

 

Shenhua raised an eyebrow. “What in it for me?”

 

“Walk with me, and I’ll explain exactly that. . .” Alex responded with a grin, extending a hand toward Shenhua, who didn’t take it immediately. . .but stepped down the hallway toward the mysterious figure until the show transitioned to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

 

**“The following contest. . .is. . .**

**. . .the SILVER. . .LINING. . .LADDER MATCH!!!!”**

 

The crowd popped with excitement as the camera panned around the ringside area, where several ladders were propped against the barricade. . .until. . .

 

. . .

. . .”Teen Beat Ocean” by Jackson And His Computer Band played, with pyro exploding in unison to the first notes of the song! Mario then stepped onto the stage and posed to a mixed reaction.

"Introducing first. . .from the Mushroom Kingdom. . .he is the ‘Champion of Life’. . .MARIO!!!"

“Mario is a living legend in this industry, and he’s in XCW’s history books as the first-ever World Heavyweight Champion. . .but just last month at Heatwave, he fought with his brother Luigi in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match for the XCW Tag Team titles against the South Park Four and D-Generation Ed. And even though it was a losing effort, he put Ed through a table, and landed a Super Mario Splash off the top of a ladder! The Champion of Life knows how to compete in a ladder match, and that knowhow can very well get him one step closer to reclaiming the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, and the Silver Lining briefcase!” Frylock informed, as Mario ran down the ramp and climbed onto a turnbuckle, raising a peace sign toward the crowd.

“The only man that’s been in his way since then is that annoyance, Stanley Ipkiss!” Shake said. “The Mask has been a thorn in Mario’s side all month, and if there’s one thing the Champion of Life has to do in order to win this thing, is to pull it out with force! He’s not gonna sit around and mope while idiots like him get in his spotlight. . .he’s gonna show him, and the rest of the men in this match exactly why he’s the REAL star of this company, and make sure they and all of these people here never forget it!”

Mario stepped off the turnbuckle. . .

. . .

. . .and “What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played to cheers from the crowd while Kenny McCormick stepped onto the stage and strode down the ramp with a steel chair in hand.

"And his opponent. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .he is "The South Park Extremist". . .KENNY MCCORMICK!”

“It has been a rough night for the South Park Four, if the last match was any indication.” Frylock informed. “Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman just lost the XCW Tag Team titles to the Knighthood of Assassins in what was a brutal match. . .so it’s up to the South Park Extremist to turn things around for the prolific stable, and from the looks of that weapon in his hands, he’ll do anything and everything to win this match and claim the Silver Lining briefcase in the name of the South Park Four!”

Kenny slid his chair into the ring under the bottom rope and climbed up to the top rope of a turnbuckle, posing toward the fans.

“We know that this kid is a multiple-time XCW Hardcore Champion, he can take all kinds of punishment, hell, he’s come back from DEATH in the same night before. . .and he knows how to fight with every type of weapon there is.” Shake said. “But that being said, winning this match ain’t gonna be easy, Frylock! As great as he is at going high-risk, there’s eight other men in this match, and one of them is a member of the Knighthood of Assassins. . .”

Kenny stepped to a corner, looking up the ramp with anticipation. . .

. . .until “Paint It Black" by The Rolling Stones played! The crowd erupted into a chorus of boos while Sweet Tooth walked onto the stage and down the ramp. . .with a shopping cart full of weapons!

“Representing the Knighthood of Assassins. . .from Blackfield Asylum. . .he is Needles. . .’Sweet Tooth’. . .KAAAAAANE!!!!”

“Speak of the devil would be TOO fitting of an idiom here, Shake.” Frylock quipped. “Because the Knighthood of Assassins have been on a tear through XCW since they destroyed an entire arena at the beginning of the month. . .and it’s continued into tonight. Solid Snake retained the XCW Hardcore title, and Scorpion and Sub-Zero are the new XCW Tag Team Champions. . .we can only hope that the numbers game can keep the Twisted Metal Mascot outmatched, and keep the Knighthood from claiming the Silver Lining briefcase!”

Sweet Tooth climbed over all three ropes and entered the ring, glaring at all the fans around the arena before staring Kenny down right in the eyes through his mask.

“Good luck with that. . .” Shake dismissed. “I want to believe Sweet Tooth isn’t gonna win this, but did you SEE the cart of weapons he wheeled down the ramp? The man not only has the size advantage against everyone in this fight, but he’s got the experience in hardcore matches to boot. He’s a six-time UWE X-Treme Champion! Even the Knighthood’s code of combat won’t be a non-factor, because going into a ladder match like this one is like inviting a kid to a playground! That is, unless, of course, you skip out on one. . .”

Sweet Tooth glared up the ramp as. . .

. . .”Wayfarer” by Kavinsky played while Tommy Vercetti rode down the ramp as the crowd began to cheer!

“From Vice City, Florida. . .he is the ‘Harwood Butcher’. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!”

“And that’s exactly what this man, Tommy Vercetti, accused Needles Kane of doing last Monday night on Massacre, Shake!” Frylock reminded. “He declared that he had a bone to pick with the Twisted Metal Mascot after he pulled out of the Toon Hardcore Championship Ladder match at Pride and Glory, claiming that Kane wasn’t the asskicker that he used to be, and even claimed that Sweet Tooth sold himself out to Hotsuma, and that in this match, he would make him regret his decision. However, Sweet Tooth responded earlier tonight with a few choice words of his own: that joining the Knighthood of Assassins was the right thing to do, and he was NEVER a hero in the first place! The tensions between these two men are high, and so is Tommy’s momentum, because ever since winning the Liberty City Street Fight at Heatwave, the Harwood Butcher has been on a winning streak! If Tommy keeps his tenacity and brutality up, he could find himself winning the Silver Lining ladder match!”

Tommy rode his Faggio around the ringside area and left the electric scooter up against the barricade as he stepped off it, and pumped a fist in the air, saluting the crowd. . .and giving Sweet Tooth a death glare before sliding into the ring.

“Yeah, and he’ll be even MORE intolerable.” Shake said. “Ever since Heatwave, he’s been a mean, uptight asshole. . .MORESO than usual, and I know why! He doesn’t want to admit the undeniable fact that he can’t wrestle! And not even a win here will prove that he can because a match with these stipulations is the environment that Tommy THRIVES in! All he’ll do is throw punches and swing ladders! Only a true well-rounded wrestler is gonna pull the Silver Lining briefcase off the rafters, and this douchebag ain’t it!”

“Come on, Shake, I know that you’re still bitter about your confrontation with the Harwood Butcher two Monday nights ago, but give it a goddamn rest!” Frylock insisted, as Tommy glared at Shake from the ring. “No matter what he’s feeling, two things that have gotta be running through his head are putting Sweet Tooth in his place, and winning the Silver Lining briefcase! Doing that will only continue his winning streak and make a mark of his own in this company!”

Tommy turned away from the announcer’s table and looked up the ramp with anticipation until. . .

The arena became engulfed in blue light as "Sell Your Soul" by Hollywood Undead played. Spongebob stepped onto the stage glaring at the fans as he walked down the ramp to massive boos from the crowd.

"From Bikini Bottom. . .he is the 'Sponge Suplex Machine'. . .SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

“And now here comes somebody ELSE that Tommy has a violent history with. . .the self-proclaimed ‘TRUE Animation Icon’. . .and while the Harwood Butcher has been on a winning streak since Heatwave, Spongebob has been on a streak of the opposite variety. . .he hasn’t even won a match since before the XCW Summer Supershow! Some are saying that his age is catching up to him. . .but the Sponge Suplex Machine is looking to prove everyone wrong and live up to his legend by beating Tommy senseless again, overcoming everyone else in the match, and winning the Silver Lining briefcase for himself!”

Spongebob stepped into the ring above the second rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, glaring at the fans maliciously.

“Like that’s even gonna happen, Frylock!” Shake dismissed. “Spongebob barely even traveled with the XCW roster this month, and only fought in two matches since Heatwave! That street fight has left the ‘TRUE Animation Icon’ trying to regain his footing. . .with embarrassing results. He called himself the ‘Extreme Sponge’ for two weeks, only to go back on it and call himself the ‘Sponge Suplex Machine’! Granted, it IS justified. . .who can ever forget the Sponge Suplex Pin? But he’s wildly inconsistent, both out of the ring and in it. . .I’m anxious to see which Spongebob Squarepants we’re going to get here tonight. . .”

Spongebob stood in a corner, ‘flexing’ his muscles with excitement. . .

. . .until. . .

. . .”IT’S PARTY TIME!!!”

. . .”Cuban Pete” by Jim Carrey played to cheers from the crowd!!!

“Aw great. . .” Shake cringed, as a cartoonishly long limousine made its way down the ramp, stopping right at the foot of it. The sunroof of the limo eventually opens. . .

. . .and The Mask leapt out of it, landing on the roof of the limousine to massive cheers from the crowd!!!

“From Edge City. . .he is Stanley Ipkiss. . .THE MAAAAAAASK!!!!”

The Mask salsa danced his way onto the hood of the car before leaping off it, doing a 450 flip over the ropes, and landing right in front of everyone in an assemblé ballerina position and screaming, “SSSSMOKIN’!!!”

“Say what you will about this man’s sanity, but he’s made quite an impression ever since making his XCW debut, and returning to fiction wrestling!” Frylock said. “He beat Daffy Duck in his first match with the company, and even beat Mario and Luigi by himself in a handicap match! After fading into obscurity the way he did when WCW folded, The Mask is looking to prove he has more than enough gas left in the tank, and with this anti-hero’s unpredictability, he’s gotta be one of the favorites to win the Silver Lining briefcase!”

While The Mask’s limousine backed up the ramp into the backstage area, The Mask pulled a small step ladder out from behind his back, then climbed up a top rope, upon which he threw SEVERAL step ladders into the audience, screaming, “AND YOU GET A STEP LADDER!!! AND YOU GET A STEP LADDER!!! AND YOU GET A STEP LADDER!!!!”

“Good lord, that’s DANGEROUS. . .” Shake said in shock before quipping, “. . .typical of this clown. He may be undefeated in XCW since his debut, but he’s also been an ANNOYANCE! He cracks jokes during matches, gives wedgies to his opponents, he’s even practically made it a MISSION to give Mario the Green Cyclone. . .well, he won’t tolerate it, and I won’t tolerate it! Hell, cracking jokes and being a showman practically MADE him the first one eliminated in the Survivor Series Tag match at UWE’s Collision event! The man is a nuisance, and an embarrassment to this company, and I can’t wait to see Mario, or ANYBODY put this idiot in his place tonight!”

The Mask stepped off the corner and looked up the ramp with anticipation until. . .

. . ."Smoke and Mirrors" by Jim Johnston played! Arthur stepped onto the stage wearing a yellow hooded vest, and the XCW World Television Championship belt around his waist as the crowd just ERUPTED with boos.

"And his opponent. . .representing the Rookie Revolution. . .from Elwood City. . .he is the 'First PBS Kid'. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .ARTHUR READ!"

Arthur pushed the hood behind his head, revealing a wide-eyed, fearful expression on his face to more boos from the crowd before striding down the ramp.

“If there’s ANYBODY in this match that’s asking to be put in his place, Shake, it’s THIS kid, Arthur Read!” Frylock contested. “Ever since winning the World Television Championship, he’s had the Wild Dudes do his dirty work, he’s cheated his way out of matches, hell, he wouldn’t even BE the World Television Champion if Joffrey Baratheon didn’t interrupt the match and assault Double D!!! Arthur may as well be on his way to be burnt at the stake tonight, because all these men in this match are dangerous in some form or another. He has EVERY reason to look scared right now, because the target on his back has never been bigger, especially when it’s coming from a weapon in the hands of Claude Speed!”

Arthur entered the ring above the second rope and came to the center of the ring, raising a trembling arm high above his head, showing the still-booing crowd his Rookie Revolution wristband and the World Television title belt.

“UGGGHHHH….if you want me to let bygones be bygones with Tommy, then Claude better have learned to do the same with Arthur!” Shake contested. “Arthur Read is a fighting champion! Why else would he be willing to fight two matches in one night? He wants to live up to the endorsement that he received from Joffrey Baratheon tonight, and I know for a fact that he will! Arthur used smarts over weapons to be a two-time XCW Hardcore Champion, and to win the World Television Championship as well! I can’t wait to see the ace that he has up his sleeve THIS time. . .because it’ll be the one that televises the Revolution, and wins himself the Silver Lining briefcase!”

 

Arthur jumped with a sudden burst of confident joy, raising the World Television Championship belt high above his head. . .

 

. . .until pyro suddenly EXPLODED from the stage. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .”No Mercy” by Pharoah Monche played. . .

 

. . .AND CLAUDE SPEED DROVE A SPORTS CAR DOWN THE RAMP TO A STANDING OVATION FROM THE CROWD!!!!!

 

“AND. . .from Liberty City, USA. . .he is “Liberty City’s Lucifer”. . .CLAAAAAAUDE SPEEEEEEED!!!!!”

 

“This sell out crowd in King’s Landing is absolutely electric for Liberty City’s Lucifer, and after all he’s done, he deserves it!!!” Frylock shouted. “He’s a multiple time XCW Hardcore Champion, a former Toon Hardcore Champion, and a former XCW World Television Champion. . .and he’s fresh off the biggest victory of his career, a win against The Joker in his Gas Chamber Match at Pride and Glory! There’s no doubt in my mind that this man is due for a shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, and after all the dues he’s paid, and all the opportunities he’s capitalized on, there’s only one thing left that Claude needs to do before pulling down the Silver Lining briefcase. . .and that’s get his REVENGE on his rival, the First PBS Kid, Arthur Read!”

 

Claude stopped the car with the hood sitting over the ringside floor, and stepped out of it, raising his barbed-wire 2x4 above his head to chants of “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!!”

 

“As impressive as those things are, his anger toward the First PBS Kid could cost him, Frylock!” Shake contested. “If he’s more concerned about beating Arthur to a pulp, he’s a sitting duck to the rest of the men in this match! Besides, Arthur Read has outsmarted this two-bit thug before, and since he’s well rested after a successful retention, he’ll do it again. But provided he decides to go easy on the First PBS Kid, this small time criminal is no doubt one of the frontrunners, if not THE frontrunner to make history tonight and win XCW’s first-ever Silver Lining ladder match!”

 

Claude entered the ring above the second rope. . .

 

. . .ONLY TO BE IMMEDIATELY CLOTHESLINED OVER THEM TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR BY SWEET TOOTH, PROMPTING THE BELL TO RING, BEGINNING THE MATCH!

 

“The first shot has been fired by the Twisted Metal Mascot, and the Silver Lining ladder match is officially underway!” Frylock called, as Sweet Tooth climbed over all three ropes and stepped onto the ringside floor at Claude’s head, stomping a mudhole onto the chest of Liberty City’s Lucifer. Meanwhile, the other six participants slid out of the ring on different sides of the arena. The Mask and Mario brawled on the left side of the ring, with Spongebob coming up to them from behind, while Tommy Vercetti and Kenny McCormick brawled on the right side of the ring, and Arthur. . .stood backed up against a corner, far away from everyone else.

 

“OF COURSE Arthur doesn’t want to be anywhere near the competition. . .OOOOOF COURSE. . .” Frylock deadpanned.

  
“What are you talking about? Of course he does!” Shake insisted. “He’s just coming up with a strategy on the fly! With so many men, it’s hard deciding who to go after first!”

 

The Mask and Mario continued trading punches until Spongebob came to Mario’s side and Irish whipped The Mask HARD into the steel steps, with The Mask colliding into them with a sickening thud! Spongebob then pulled The Mask up and handed him to Mario, who lifted him up for a suplex. . .but The Mask dropped out of it behind Mario and shoved him into the back of Sweet Tooth! The Twisted Metal Mascot then turned around. . .and took the Champion of Life down with a scoop slam!!! Meanwhile, Tommy and Kenny traded right hands on the right side of the arena until the Harwood Butcher surprised Kenny with a left hand right between the eyes that sent the South Park Extremist reeling. Tommy then lifted Kenny up. . .and dropped him face-first onto the barricade!!! Tommy quickly stepped toward a ladder. . .

 

. . .unaware that Arthur had come up from behind him!!! Arthur then put Tommy in a headlock and dropped him with a reverse DDT!!!

 

“THERE HE IS!!!” Shake cheered. “I told ya Arthur wasn’t a coward!”

 

Arthur then pulled Tommy up and began hammering him in the face with right hands while Sweet Tooth pulled Claude up and went for an uppercut. . .but Claude evaded it and struck Sweet Tooth in the back of the head with a right hand of his own!!! Meanwhile, The Mask was brawling with Spongebob as Mario got back up to his feet, only for Tommy to Irish whip him into Arthur!!! All the brawls continued near the foot of the ramp. . .as Kenny McCormick slid back into the ring with a ladder in hand!

  
“It is absolute anarchy and chaos out at ringside right now!” Shake declared. “Everybody would rather beat each up than go for the briefcase---WAIT A MINUTE!!! LOOK OUT!!!”

 

With the ladder raised high above his head, Kenny ran toward the corner. . .

 

. . .before The Mask pulled Tommy in front of him as some form of human shield and said, “Watch this, Tommy!!! Kenny’s gonna FLY!!!!”

 

. . .

 

. . .leapt onto the top rope. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND LANDED ONTO THE WRESTLERS WITH A MOONSAULT, TAKING EVERY MAN DOWN WITH THE LADDER!!!! EVERY MAN IN THE MATCH WAS DOWN ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR IN A CRUMBLED HEAP AS THE CROWD CHANTED, “HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!!”. . .

 

. . .as The Mask creaked out, “. . .that. . .was wicked. . .”

 

“OH MY GOD!!!! THE SOUTH PARK EXTREMIST KENNY MCCORMICK BLINDSIDED EVERYONE WITH A LADDER SHOT, AND TOOK EVERYONE DOWN IN THE PROCESS!!!” Frylock shouted. “We’re one minute into this match, and it already looks like a car wreck out here!”

 

Kenny slowly but surely staggered up to his feet and grabbed a ladder leaning up against the barricade and slid back into the ring, and set it underneath the briefcase!! Kenny started to climb up. . .

 

. . .only for Sweet Tooth to come back into the ring and pull Kenny off the ladder before he could get halfway up! Sweet Tooth then Irish whipped Kenny into a nearby corner, then charged toward him and rammed him with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until Kenny fell to a seated position, then the Twisted Metal Mascot throttled him with a series of vicious mudhole stomps. . .

 

. . .until he was hit in the back by a chair shot from Tommy Vercetti!!! Sweet Tooth winced in pain from the impact before Tommy hit him with two more chair shots to the back, but as Tommy raised the chair high above his head once more, Sweet Tooth turned around. . .AND KICKED THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO TOMMY’S FACE WITH A BIG BOOT!!!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOH!!!! THAT HAD TO HAVE SCRAMBLED TOMMY’S BRAINS FOR SURE!!!” Frylock cringed, as Sweet Tooth stepped toward the ladder in the center of the ring.

 

“Now Sweet Tooth’s going up!!! Frylock called. . .

 

. . .until Kenny McCormick was able to grab Sweet Tooth by his foot, stopping his climb!!! Kenny pulled and pulled on Sweet Tooth’s legs with all his might…until Sweet Tooth kicked him backwards, knocking him into the ropes! Kenny caught himself as Sweet Tooth took a few more steps closer to the top. . .but Kenny strode toward the ladder and pushed it over, sending Sweet Tooth back down to the mat shoulders first!!! Meanwhile, back at ringside, Arthur rose to his feet and looked under the ring apron for a weapon, while behind him, The Mask, Spongebob, Mario, and Claude stood up and began brawling with each other until Arthur came out from under the apron. . .

 

. . .AND KNOCKED THE MASK DOWN WITH A STEP LADDER!!!

 

“I don’t know why the hell the First PBS Kid doesn’t use a regular size ladder, but even that step ladder is just as effective!” Frylock called, as Arthur then knocked Mario down with the step ladder!

 

“HAHAHAHA!!! Arthur’s telling everyone in this match that size doesn’t matter, especially when you’re the World Television Champion!” Shake declared, as Arthur clocked Spongebob in the face with the ladder, knocking him down! Arthur then looked down at Spongebob with a confident grin before turning around. . .raising the ladder. . .

 

. . .and ran away as he saw Claude Speed! But the crowd began chanting, “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!” as Claude chased Arthur around the ringside floor!

 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me! Instead of going for the kill, Arthur’s running scared, and Claude’s gonna have NONE OF IT!!!” Frylock declared. “SOME CHAMPION!!!”

 

“YEAH!!! Claude would at least have some respect for the kid!” Shake contested, as The Mask, Mario and Spongebob made it to their feet, with Spongebob grabbing a ladder while The Mask and Mario were fighting over another ladder at the foot of the ramp, with Mario eventually ripping it way from him. Spongebob took his ladder into the ring and nailed Kenny in the ribs with it as Claude and Arthur made their way back to the side of the ring facing the ramp, upon which, The Mask picked up the step ladder and shouted, “THINK FAST!!!”. . .

 

. . .and tossed the ladder like a Frisbee right toward Arthur’s face. . .

 

. . .BUT ARTHUR DUCKED, CAUSING CLAUDE TO GET KNOCKED DOWN BY THE FLYING STEPLADDER INSTEAD!!!

 

“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY WHAT IN THE HELL WAS MASK THINKING??!?!” Frylock exclaimed, as Claude sold his head and face in pain and Arthur slid into the ring on the adjacent side. Meanwhile, The Mask muttered, “Every man for himself, _amigo_. . .” under his breath while he searched for a weapon under the ring apron. Back in the ring, Spongebob and Mario set up their own ladders underneath the briefcase and climbed up them. . .only for Kenny to climb up Mario’s ladder, and Arthur to climb up Spongebob’s ladder!!!

 

“And now FOUR of these competitors are twenty feet high above the ring! Will one of them be able to pull down the Silver Lining briefcase???” Frylock called.

 

“A better question is, who’s gonna fall down first?” Shake wondered, as Arthur and Spongebob traded punches on the top of one ladder, and Kenny and Mario traded chops on the other. . .

 

. . .until Sweet Tooth made it up to his feet. . .

 

. . .pushed Mario’s ladder forward. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND SENT MARIO AND KENNY FALLING ONTO THE MAT WHILE ARTHUR AND SPONGEBOB LANDED ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR SHOULDERS FIRST!!!! Arthur and Spongebob screamed in agonizing pain from the impact while Sweet Tooth started to set a ladder back up in the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .until The Mask blindsided him in the temple with a. . .kiddie slide. . .?

 

“GOOD GOD!!! After taking everyone out in his sight, Sweet Tooth just got a faceful of. . .a chute?” Frylock said, COMPLETELY confused.

 

“I TOLD ya this Ipkiss guy was insane. . .who the hell brings a KIDDIE SLIDE INTO A WRESTLING MATCH???” shouted Shake, as Stanley tossed the small chute at Sweet Tooth’s head for good measure before climbing up the ladder in the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .or, he WOULD have, if Tommy Vercetti didn’t pull him off and slug him in the face with a right hand!!! The Harwood Butcher then hammered away at The Mask’s face with a three-punch combination, then took him down with a THUNDEROUS clothesline!!!

 

“The Mask has been an eyelash in Tommy’s eye as well as Mario’s since he debuted in this company. . .” Frylock informed. “Whatever ELSE The Mask has put Tommy through, he’s paying for it right now!”

 

Tommy then pulled The Mask up to his feet and went for another right hand. . .but The Mask stopped him in his tracks with a bionic elbow!!! Tommy reeled backward a bit before The Mask slugged him right between the eyes with a boxer jab! The Mask then went for a kick to Tommy’s midsection, but Tommy caught his leg before it could make impact. . .

 

. . .only for The Mask to nail him in the temple with a roundhouse kick! As Tommy backed up to the corner selling his head in pain, The Mask turned around to climb up the ladder. . .but Sweet Tooth ripped him off by his suit jacket, then tossed him into a corner before going up the ladder himself. . .but Claude Speed finally made his way into the ring and started climbing up the ladder on the other side!!!

 

“And Liberty City’s Lucifer makes his way back into the match, and up the ladder!!! Will he get to the briefcase before Sweet Tooth does???” Frylock called, as Claude and Sweet Tooth each made it to the top, each of them trading punches as they reached for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .until The Mask slipped under Sweet Tooth, gripping onto his legs!!!

 

“WAIT A MINUTE!!! THE MASK MADE IT BACK UP!!!” Frylock shouted, as MARIO did the same to Claude on his side of the ladder!!!

 

“MARIO, TOO!!!!” Shake screamed, as Mario and The Mask respectively pulled Claude and Sweet Tooth away from the briefcase. . .

 

. . .AND MARIO SENT CLAUDE FALLING ONTO THE MAT WITH AN ELECTRIC CHAIR DROP, WHILE THE MASK CRUSHED SWEET TOOTH WITH AN ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER!!!! Claude and Sweet Tooth sold their heads in pain as Mario and The Mask rose up to their feet and charged toward each other, with the Champion of Life lifting The Mask up and taking him down with a fireman’s carry takedown before nailing him with a high knee! As the two continued fighting, Kenny and Spongebob had grabbed their own ladders and made their way into the ring, while Sweet Tooth picked up the ladder set up in the center of the ring and set it on his shoulders, with his head between the rungs!

 

“There’s eight men in that ring right now, and three of them have ladders. . .business is about to pick up, Shake!!!” Frylock called.

 

“And somebody’s about to get their ass kicked!” Shake added, as Spongebob instead elected to set his ladder up in a corner while Kenny raised his ladder and nailed The Mask in the face with it, knocking him down!!! Kenny then charged toward Mario with his ladder, but the Champion of Life wrestled it out of his grasp and whacked him across the face with it for his troubles! Mario then tried to set the ladder up in the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .UNTIL SWEET TOOTH TOOK HIM DOWN BY USING THE LADDER ON HIS SHOULDERS AS A BATTERING RAM!!! Sweet Tooth then charged toward Spongebob. . .and drove HIM down to the mat with the battering ram!!! Claude and Tommy then got up on opposite sides of Sweet Tooth. . .only for the Twisted Metal Mascot to dash toward them and knock them down at once with both sides of the ladder!!!

 

“BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!!!” Frylock cried. “Sweet Tooth is just DEMOLISHING everyone and everything in sight with that battering ram!”

 

“He looks like a helicopter about to take off!” Shake observed, as Sweet Tooth spun around, knocking The Mask onto his back with the bottom end of the ladder!!! Sweet Tooth then scanned the ring, seeing that all the other competitors had rolled out of the ring to collect themselves. . .until Kenny leapt off the top rope for a Flying Clothesline. . .

 

. . .ONLY TO RUN INTO SWEET TOOTH’S LADDER RIBS-FIRST!!!!

  
“OHHHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!!” Shake cringed. “KENNY’S POOR RIBS!!!!!”

 

Kenny clenched his abdomen in agonizing pain as he rolled out of the ring, and Sweet Tooth roared with intensity to massive boos from the crowd. . .

 

. . .UNTIL ARTHUR SWEPT SWEET TOOTH’S LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HIM, SENDING HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO HIS OWN LADDER!!!!

 

“I’LL BE DAMNED!!! THE FIRST PBS KID JUST OUTSMARTED THE TWISTED METAL MASCOT!!!” called Frylock, as Arthur hurriedly lifted Sweet Tooth’s ladder off his head and planted it into the center of the ring, then started to climb up it!

 

“What’d I tell ya? It’s THAT kind of smarts that’s about to earn Arthur the Silver Lining briefcase!” Shake declared, as Arthur made it to the top of the ladder. . .

 

. . .reached for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .until Sweet Tooth knocked his ladder over, only for Arthur to land onto the mat feet-first! Arthur raised his fists into fisticuffs as he braved for the worst. . .only for Sweet Tooth to slug him in the chest with a throat thrust before lifting him up. . .

 

. . .and dropping him onto the ladder with a scoop slam!!!! Arthur screamed in agonizing pain from the impact!!!

 

“GOD DAMN THIS KNIGHTHOOD!!! HOW CAN SWEET TOOTH BE SO CRUEL TO THE WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION???” cried Shake, as Sweet Tooth pushed Arthur out of the ring under the bottom rope and started to set the ladder up in the center of the ring. . .unaware that Claude and Tommy had re-entered the ring, and were standing in opposite corners with ladders in hand!!!

 

“Wait a minute!!! Look at Claude and Tommy!!!” Frylock called, as Claude and Tommy charged toward the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .AND CRUSHED SWEET TOOTH IN BETWEEN THEIR LADDERS!!!! Sweet Tooth cringed in pain as he faltered down to one knee. Claude smirked in satisfaction. . .until Spongebob grabbed Claude by the legs from the ringside floor and swept them out from under him, and pulled him under the bottom rope and out of the ring! Back in the ring, Tommy quickly picked up the ladder in the center of the ring and opened it up. . .trapped Sweet Tooth’s leg in between both legs. . .

 

. . .AND SLAMMED BOTH SIDES OF THE LADDER INTO SWEET TOOTH’S LEG!!!

 

“Well, that’s one way to get the big man down!!!” Frylock said. Sweet Tooth screamed in agonizing pain as Tommy lifted the top leg up. . .AND SLAMMED IT ONTO SWEET TOOTH’S LEG AGAIN….AND AGAIN…….AND AGAIN…..AND AGAIN….

 

“TOMMY IS JUST GOING TO TOWN ON SWEET TOOTH’S LEG!!!” Frylock observed. “He wasn’t kidding when he said he had a bone to pick with the Twisted Metal Mascot. . .and he’s going after his tibia!”

 

Tommy FINALLY ripped the ladder off of Sweet Tooth’s leg and planted it in the center of the ring, then started to climb up it!

 

“And now Tommy Vercetti sees the briefcase in his sights!!!” called Frylock. “Will the Harwood Butcher pull the Silver Lining briefcase out from the rafters???”

 

Tommy reached the top of the ladder. . .

 

. . .reached for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .and gripped onto it. . .

 

. . .BUT MARIO SLID INTO THE RING WITH A TWENTY-FOOT LADDER AND USED IT TO KNOCK TOMMY OFF HIS LADDER AND DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A SICKENING THUD!!!!! The crowd shouted, “OHHHHHHHH!!!!” as Tommy made impact before chanting, “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!”

 

“After this, the Champion of Life may have to change his moniker to the Champion of Ladders!!!” Shake declared. “Because that was fucking AWESOME!!!”

 

Meanwhile, on the outside, Spongebob took Claude down with a belly-to-belly suplex, then snatched two ladders that were sitting up against the barricade. . .and set them up in an X-shaped bridge, with the top ends of both ladders resting on the edge of the barricade, and the bottoms of each ladder on the ring apron. Spongebob then pulled Claude up and set him right in front of the X-shaped ladder bridge before kicking him in the midsection. . .draping his arm over his back. . .

 

. . .and lifted him up for a forward suplex. . .

 

. . .but Claude hooked his leg around Spongebob’s before he could raise him!!! Claude then fought out of Spongebob’s grip with a knee to the midsection, then nailed him in the face with a three-punch combination before tossing him head and face-first into a ring post, then took him down to the ringside floor with a DDT!!! Claude then slid back into the ring just in time to see Mario climbing up the ladder. Claude strode in Mario’s direction. . .

 

. . .BUT MARIO LEAPT OFF THE LADDER AND TOOK CLAUDE DOWN WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK!!!!

 

“The self-proclaimed, ‘Greatest Champion Ever’ saw Claude coming, and stopped him before he could even THINK about ripping him off!” Frylock said, as Arthur slid back into the ring and capitalized on the prone state of Claude by mounting him at the waist and hitting him in the face with right hands, to MASSIVE boos from the crowd!!!

 

“Oh for the love of GAWD, Shake. . .this is ridiculous!!!” Frylock shouted with disgust. “Arthur’s been hiding with his tail between his legs for a good majority of the match, and the only times he decides to come out are when Claude is defenseless!”

 

“It’s called strategy, Frylock!” Shake insisted. “And it’s about to PAY OFF for the World Television Champion!”

 

Arthur stood up and raised a fist high above his head, pointing his Rookie Revolution wristband toward the relentlessly booing crowd, while Mario stalked him from behind, holding a ladder, waiting for the First PBS Kid to turn around. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR ARTHUR TO KNOCK THE LADDER INTO MARIO WITH A SPINNING WHEEL KICK!!! With Mario down, Arthur picked up his ladder and planted it in the center of the ring and started to climb up it!

 

“HAHAHA!!! Now The First PBS Kid is about to be the first-ever Silver Lining briefcase winner!” Shake declared, as Arthur reached up for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .gripped onto it. . .

 

. . .STARTED TO UNHOOK IT. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .UNTIL THE MASK CLIMBED UP THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE LADDER!!! Arthur turned away from the briefcase to face The Mask, who immediately sent him reeling with an uppercut!!! As Arthur gripped onto the top of the ladder, hanging on for dear life. . .he saw CLAUDE on his way up his side!!!

 

“HERE COMES LIBERTY CITY’S LUCIFER!!!” Frylock called, as the crowd as The Mask went for another right hand. . .

 

. . .but Arthur LEAPT off the top of the ladder and took down an oncoming Kenny McCormick with a diving double axe handle!!!

 

“Woah!!! The high-flyer in this match got a taste of his own medicine from the First PBS Kid!” Shake said, as Arthur rolled out of the ring and into a brawl with Spongebob, while Claude and The Mask were trading punches twenty feet high above the ring!!!

 

“Claude and The Mask are at the top of the ladder!!! But only one of them can get to the briefcase!” Frylock called, as Claude rammed The Mask’s face into the top of the ladder, and began to reach for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .or, he WOULD have, if Mario didn’t push the ladder onto its side. . . sending The Mask to be hung up on the ropes by his CROTCH. . .

 

. . .WHILE CLAUDE LANDED HEAD AND FACE FIRST ONTO A NEARBY TOP TURNBUCKLE!!! The crowd cringed as Claude landed HARD onto the mat before rolling onto the ringside floor to collect himself, while Mario set the ladder back up and started to climb up it, with Sweet Tooth climbing up the other side. . .

 

. . .only for Tommy to pull him down and hit him across the face with a right hand! Tommy continued nailing him with punch after punch until Sweet Tooth was backed up against a ladder in the corner. Kenny made his way up the ladder behind Tommy, who stepped back to the center of the ring, then charged toward Sweet Tooth for a corner clothesline. . .

 

. . .BUT SWEET TOOTH ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY, CAUSING TOMMY TO LAND ON THE LADDER WITH HIS FULL BODY!!! Tommy winced in pain from the impact as he rolled out of the corner, selling his head as the Twisted Metal Mascot Irish whipped him into the ladder. . .but the Harwood Butcher ducked under both spreaders and bounced off the ropes on the other side of the ring. . .

 

. . .AND SWEET TOOTH KNOCKED THE LADDER RIGHT INTO TOMMY’S FACE!!! The maneuver not only sent Mario and Kenny CRASHING onto the mat, but knocked Tommy down as well!!! Tommy rolled onto his chest to collect himself. . .

 

. . .AND SAW BLOOD OOZING FROM HIS HEAD ONTO THE MAT!!!

 

“OH MY GOD!!! TOMMY’S BEEN BUSTED OPEN!!!” Frylock shouted. “BAH GAWD SHAKE, IT’S A GEYSER OF RED COMING FROM HIS HEAD!!!!”

 

“HE’S FLOWING LIKE A FAUCET!!!” Shake cringed. “This isn’t good. . .not only for Tommy OR his opponents. . .but think about the MAT!!!!”

 

A referee rolled into the ring and checked on Tommy, who told the referee that he was still able to compete. . .while Sweet Tooth started to climb up the ladder behind him!!!

 

“With Tommy incapacitated for the time being, Sweet Tooth is poised to pull down the briefcase!!! Will somebody stop him??? WILL SOMEBODY STOP THE KNIGHTHOOD???” Frylock shouted, as Sweet Tooth reached for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .gripped onto it. . .

 

. . .STARTED TO UNHOOK IT. . .

 

. . .BUT LOST HIS GRIP WHEN SPONGEBOB SLAPPED HIM IN THE FACE WITH A KARATE CHOP!!! Spongebob and Sweet Tooth were exchanging karate chops and uppercuts, respectively. . .while Mario set up a ladder next to Sweet Tooth’s, and started to climb up next to Sweet Tooth, and hammered at his sides with a series of right hands!!!

 

“Say what you will about Mario and Spongebob’s character. . .but even THEY won’t stand for the Knighthood claiming another prize in XCW!” Frylock said.

 

“They HAVE to team up in order to take down the big man!!!” added Shake, as Mario continued hammering away at Sweet Tooth’s kidneys, causing the Twisted Metal Mascot to wince in pain, while Spongebob stood on the LITERAL top of the ladder. . .

 

. . .leapt toward Sweet Tooth. . .

 

. . .AND CLOTHESLINED HIM OFF THE LADDER, SENDING HIM DOWN TO THE MAT BELOW WITH HIM!!!

 

“AND THE TEAMWORK BETWEEN MARIO AND SPONGEBOB PAYS OFF AS THE BIG MAN GOES DOWN!!!” Frylock called, as Mario took a step off his ladder. . .

 

. . .and made it over to the ladder directly below the briefcase!!!

 

“And it pays off in SPADES for Mario!” Shake added. “He’s gonna go from the Champion of Life to Champion of Silver Lining!”

 

Mario climbed up the ladder. . .

 

. . .unaware that Kenny had grabbed the ladder next to his and folded it up, setting it against his at an upward slant!!!

 

“Wait a minute. . .what the hell is KENNY DOING???” Shake wondered, as Mario reached for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .gripped onto it. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .was close to pulling it off the hook. . .

 

. . .UNTIL KENNY RAN UP THE SLANTED LADDER AND SENT MARIO FLYING INTO A CORNER WITH A FLYING HEADSCISSOR TAKEDOWN!!! The crowd ERUPTED in chants of, “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”

 

“GOOD GAWD, SHAKE!!!” Frylock screamed. “MARIO JUST GOT WHIPPED ALL THE WAY TO HELL THANKS TO THE SOUTH PARK EXTREMIST!!!”

 

Mario remained in the corner while Kenny rose up to his feet and strode toward the ladder. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR ARTHUR TO MAKE IT BACK INTO THE RING!!! To massive boos from the crowd, Arthur stomped toward Kenny, who immediately met Arthur with a tie-up! Kenny pulled Arthur toward a corner and began pummeling him with swift right and left hands to his midsection until Arthur fought back with a hard kick to the midsection that sent the South Park Extremist reeling backward. Arthur then charged toward Kenny for a tackle, only for the South Park Extremist to leapfrog over him!!! The First PBS Kid stopped in his tracks and turned around to see Kenny sprinting toward him. . .

 

. . .AND FLAPJACKED HIM INTO A LADDER RESTING AGAINST THE CORNER!!! Arthur stood up as Kenny rolled off the ladder in a crumbled heap while the World Television Championship raised his fists above his head and jumped up and down in celebration to more boos from the crowd. . .

 

. . .but froze in his tracks. . .

 

. . .WHEN THE MASK AND CLAUDE SPEED ENTERED THE RING ON OPPOSITE SIDES!!!

 

“Oh no. . .get out of there, Arthur!!! GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE!!!” implored Shake, as the crowd chanted, “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!” in anticipation while Claude and The Mask sprinted toward the First PBS Kid. . .

 

. . .but Arthur slid out of the ring under the bottom rope behind him, to MORE boos from the crowd!

 

“OH, COME ON!!!” Frylock shouted, as Claude stared Arthur down with his eye almost TWITCHING in anger while Arthur pretended to rest his elbows on his knees and catch his breath. “IF YOU’RE A DESERVING CHAMPION, YOU’D FIGHT!!!”

 

“C’mon, Frylock! Give him the benefit of the doubt!” Shake insisted. “Flapjacking Kenny into that ladder took a lot of strength!”

 

Arthur rested against the barricade behind him. . .

 

. . .until Claude charged AFTER him by stomping out of the ring!!!

 

“But an angry Claude is a proactive Claude, Shake!” Frylock said, as Arthur’s eyes widened at the sight of oncoming Claude and began running around the ringside floor!!!

 

“Liberty City’s Lucifer is in hot pursuit of the World Television Champion!” Frylock declared. “Claude wants to give Arthur all the punishment he’s been asking for since he robbed him of the Toon Hardcore title just one month ago!!!”

 

“Huh. . .MORE FOR MEEEE!!!” The Mask screeched to himself as he picked up a ladder and began climbing up it toward the briefcase!!!

 

“Meanwhile, with everyone either outside the ring on incapacitated, The Mask is going for it all!!!” Frylock called. “Will his comeback come to fruition right here, right now???”

 

The Mask reached for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .gripped it before pulling it down. . .

 

. . .CAME CLOSE TO PULLING IT OFF THE HOOK. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .but Mario gripped onto The Mask’s leg from behind and pulled him off the ladder!!! The Mask fell onto the mat back-first before Mario threw a ladder down from the corner and laid The Mask down on it chest-first, then lifted his legs. . .AND LOCKED HIM INTO THE BOSTON CRAB!!!! The Mask screamed in pain as he thrashed for the ropes!!!

  
“Rope breaks or submissions don’t count in this match. . .but I don’t think that matters to the Champion of Life!” Frylock said. “After all the grief he’s been put through since his debut, Mario wants to render The Mask lifeless!”

 

“And being pressed onto the ladder like he is now doesn’t help him one bit!” Shake added. “The Greatest Champion Ever is FINALLY putting this idiot in his place!”

 

Meanwhile, outside the ring, Kenny had finally made it up to his feet. . .only for Sweet Tooth to take him back down with a big boot!!! The Twisted Metal Mascot then pulled the South Park Extremist up to a standing position. . .only to lift him up in a Gorilla Press. . .

 

. . .but Kenny slipped out of it and landed behind Sweet Tooth, then shoved him toward the ring pole, causing the Twisted Metal Mascot to hit it face first!!! The two hardcore specialists continued brawling as Arthur sprinted past them and turned a corner, and Claude followed him on his path in front of the announcer’s tables. . .

 

. . .UNTIL SPONGEBOB CAME OUT FROM IN BETWEEN BOTH TABLES AND NAILED CLAUDE IN THE TEMPLE WITH A LADDER!!!

  
“HAHAHAHAHA!!! YEEEESSS!!!! The TRUE Animation Icon believes in Arthur Read!” Shake cheered, as Spongebob set his ladder with the top end resting on Shake and Frylock’s announcer’s table and the bottom end resting on the ring apron. Meanwhile, Arthur turned another corner. . .

 

. . .AND RIGHT INTO A LADDER SHOT FROM A BUSTED OPEN TOMMY VERCETTI!!!

 

“OHHHHHH NOOOOOO!!!!” Shake cried, as Arthur fell onto his back while Tommy seethed with anger to cheers of excitement from the crowd!!!

 

“After that HIDEOUS collision earlier, Tommy Vercetti has FINALLY regrouped, and after laying out the First PBS Kid, he’s going after the Sponge Suplex Machine!!!” Frylock observed, as Tommy charged toward the announcer’s table, where Spongebob pulled Claude up to his feet and rested his head between his legs for a powerbomb.

 

“And the timing couldn’t be more perfect, because Claude NEEDS help!!!” Shake added, as Spongebob lifted Claude up. . .

 

. . .raised him above the ladder in front of him. . .

 

. . .AND COLLASPED TO HIS KNEES AFTER A LADDER SHOT TO THE BACK FROM TOMMY VERCETTI!!! Claude landed on his feet and slid back into the ring while Tommy kept hitting Spongebob in the back with his ladder over. . .and OVER. . .AND OVER. . .AND OVER AGAIN until he raised his ladder high above his head shouting, “YEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!” to more cheers from the fans!

  
“Tommy Vercetti is a man POSSESSED!!!” Shake declared. “Now that he’s back up. . .NO ONE IS SAFE!!!”

 

The Harwood Butcher then slid back into the ring with his ladder, and saw that Mario still had the Boston Crab locked in. While pulling himself toward the ropes, The Mask slapped his arms on the ladder. . .and cried in pain from the impact while Mario pressed his knee against The Mask’s back, only intensifying the hold. . .

 

. . .UNTIL TOMMY CHUCKED HIS LADDER LIKE A JAVELIN AND NAILED MARIO IN THE FACE WITH IT, BREAKING THE HOLD AND BUSTING HIM OPEN!!!

 

“GOOD GOD!!! I DON’T KNOW IF TOMMY WAS TRYING TO KILL MARIO, OR QUALIFY FOR THE OLYMPICS!!!” Frylock cringed.

 

Meanwhile, on the ringside floor, Sweet Tooth dropped Kenny face-first onto the barricade, then set two ladders up, one with the top end resting on the barricade and the bottom end resting on the ring apron, and the other ends resting vice versa, before re-entering the ring above all three ropes. Back in the ring, Tommy strode toward the ladder and began to climb up it. . .

 

. . .but Sweet Tooth climbed up the other end of Tommy’s ladder!

 

“After disposing of the South Park Extremist, The Twisted Metal Mascot is looking to keep his rival from claiming the briefcase!!” Frylock observed, as Claude set up a ladder right next to Tommy’s ladder and climbed up it, while Mario climbed up the other end!!! Meanwhile, Spongebob stumbled back into the ring, selling his lower back in pain as he brought a ladder of his OWN into the ring, and set it next to Mario’s ladder before climbing up it. . .and The Mask struggled up to his feet before planting HIS ladder next to Tommy’s and Sweet Tooth’s before climbing up it. . .

 

. . .and Arthur FINALLY slid back into the ring under the bottom rope to climb on the side opposite of The Mask!!!

 

“And now ALL EIGHT PARTICIPANTS in this Silver Lining ladder match are on ladders and going after the briefcase!!! Is anybody gonna come down with a contract for a future shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship???” Frylock wondered, as all eight men were trading various forms of strikes!!!

 

“If anything, Frylock, these guys are gonna come down with a head wound!!!” Shake quipped, as Sweet Tooth reached for the briefcase after a throat thrust to Tommy. . .but Claude reached over and SMASHED Sweet Tooth’s face into his ladder’s top step, causing him to fall to the mat below, shaking the ground and making the ladders THAT much more unstable. Tommy then hit Arthur in the temple with a right hand before gripping onto the top of his ladder and pushing it to the right, tipping it over and sending both Arthur AND The Mask down to the mat, and making the mat shake MORE!!! Tommy then reached for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .pulled it down. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR SWEET TOOTH TO TIP THE LEGS OF HIS LADDER FORWARD, causing Tommy to hit the top step of his own ladder on his way down to the mat!!! Sweet Tooth then tipped the ladder downward toward him, landing the ladder flat on the mat. Meanwhile, Claude and Mario continued brawling while Spongebob sent Kenny sliding down the ladder with an uppercut, then Claude went for a punch right between the eyes of Mario. . .only for the Champion of Life to catch it and give Spongebob time to karate chop him in the head! But Mario gripped Claude in a headlock. . .

 

. . .while Spongebob draped Claude’s left arm over his back!!!

 

“Wait a minute. . .Mario and Spongebob are teaming up again???” Frylock wondered. “What are they gonna inflict here???”

 

“And how jealous does Luigi feel right now?” quipped Shake, as Mario and Spongebob lifted Claude up. . .

 

. . .fell backward. . .

 

. . .AND DROVE CLAUDE ONTO THE MAT WITH A DOUBLE SUPLEX OFF THE LADDER!!!!

 

“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!” Frylock shouted. “Just minutes ago, there were EIGHT MEN high above the ring fighting for the Silver Lining briefcase, but now ALL OF THEM ARE DOWN AND OUT!!! We’re no closer now than we were at the start of this thing to seeing someone make history as the first winner of the Silver Lining ladder match!”

 

“This hasn’t been a wrestling match, Frylock. . .this has been a downright ugly FIGHT!” Shake added. “It’s like a goddamn CAR WRECK OUT HERE!!! All eight of these men would rather beat the holy hell out of each other before going for the contract---BUT WAIT A MINUTE!!! KENNY’S STILL UP THERE!!!”

 

Indeed, Shake was correct, for, hanging onto a step of his ladder was the South Park Extremist!!! Kenny slowly but surely pulled himself up to the top of his ladder. . .and then stepped over to the next ladder top over to be one leap away from the briefcase!!!

 

“The South Park Extremist has done a lot of crazy things as a multiple time Hardcore Champion. . .is he psychotic enough to risk his life in the name of history???” Frylock wondered, as Kenny bent his knees. . .

 

. . .waved his arms backward. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .leapt toward the briefcase. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY GRASPED ONTO IT, HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE!!!

 

“HE MADE IT!!! KENNY’S GOT HIS HANDS ON THE BRIEFCASE!!!” Frylock yelled. “PULL IT DOWN, KID!!! Make tonight a great night for the South Park Four!!!”

 

“AND DON’T LOOK DOWN!!!” Shake added. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .as SWEET TOOTH stood under him, holding a ladder!!!

 

“. . .BECAUSE THERE’S SOMEONE WAITING ON YOU!!!”

 

Kenny tried to pull himself closer to the chain holding the briefcase up to the rafters. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .while Sweet Tooth reared his ladder back. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .thrusted it upward. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND KNOCKED KENNY OFF OF THE BRIEFCASE, SENDING HIM DOWN TO THE MAT BELOW!!!!

 

“OHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD!!!! SWEET TOOTH WITH A TWENTY-FOOT LADDER JUST SENT KENNY PLUMMETING TO HIS DEATH!!!” Frylock shouted. “AND KENNY MAY BE BROKEN RIGHT IN HALF!!!!”

 

“HE USED THAT LADDER LIKE A SWATTER ON A FLY!!!” Shake added, as the crowd chanted, “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”

 

Sweet Tooth tossed Kenny out of the ring over the ropes like a rag doll before turning around and setting up the twenty-foot ladder in the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO NAIL HIM IN THE BACK WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!

 

“Sweet Tooth was about to go for the briefcase himself, but he and Tommy have some unfinished business!” Frylock said, as Sweet Tooth turned around to face Tommy, who went for another chair shot. . .but Sweet Tooth caught the chair and wrestled it out of Tommy’s grasp, raising it for an unprotected chair shot. . .

 

. . .UNTIL TOMMY KICKED SWEET TOOTH RIGHT IN THE GROIN WITH A LOW BLOW!!!!

 

“WHAT THE HELL??!! TOMMY VERCETTI JUST HIT A LOW BLOW ON SWEET TOOTH!!!” Shake shouted, as Tommy screamed, “STILL WANNA FIGHT BY YOUR CODE???” at the Twisted Metal Mascot!

 

“Everything is legal in the Silver Lining ladder match, and if Tommy wants to resort to an unorthodox method, by God, he’ll use it!” Frylock replied, as Tommy took the chair back from Sweet Tooth while The Mask pulled himself up to a standing position with the ropes near the upper left corner of the ring.

 

“. . .so NOBODY’S gonna question his state of mind anymore?” Shake deadpanned, as Tommy turned around and stepped toward The Mask, who stepped toward him.

 

“This ring ain’t big enough for the two of us. . .” The Mask said aloud to himself—

 

\--BEFORE TOMMY CLOCKED HIM IN THE FACE WITH HIS STEEL CHAIR!!!! The Mask fell down to the mat from the impact with his arms and legs splayed, but Tommy CONTINUED to hammer away on The Mask’s body with his steel chair until it was bent in half!!!

  
“SERIOUSLY, Tommy is going BERSERK right now!!! He’s laying out his frie—ummm….. _tolerance_ ….like it’s nobody’s business!” Shake insisted.

 

“He fights with a tenacity that is unparalleled from any other wrestler in this industry, and that makes him one of the most dangerous competitors in this company, no matter if you’re his friend or foe!” Frylock answered, as Tommy strode toward a nearby corner and ripped off the protective padding, exposing the steel underneath it. Tommy then Irish whipped The Mask toward the corner. . .

 

. . .but The Mask countered with an Irish whip of his own before pulling him back and taking him down with a Bionic Elbow!!! The Mask then stepped up the ladder, coming ever closer to the briefcase!!!

 

“And Stanley Ipkiss now has the best chance of getting the briefcase!!!” Frylock declared. “Go after it, Mask!!! Revive your career!!!”

 

The Mask made it halfway up the ladder. . .

 

. . .before Spongebob made his way back into the ring and pulled him off by his feet!!! Spongebob whipped The Mask around to face him and slapped him across the chest with a karate chop! Spongebob went for one more karate chop. . .but Stanley blocked it with his arm and slugged the Sponge Suplex Machine with a right hand that sent Spongebob reeling backward into the corner. The Mask then dove toward Spongebob. . .

 

. . .but Spongebob rolled out of the way. . .

 

. . .CAUSING THE MASK TO HIT THE UNPROTECTED TURNBUCKLE HEAD AND FACE FIRST!!!!

 

“SERVES YOU RIGHT, IDIOT!!!” Shake quipped. “You needed a little facial reconstructive surgery, anyway!”

 

Spongebob smirked with satisfaction before stepping toward the ladder. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS!!! The crowd erupted with cheers as Tommy hammered away at Spongebob’s face with vicious right and left hands, then shouted obscenities out of intensity upon standing up!

 

“Given all the history between himself and the Sponge Suplex Machine, there’s no reason the Harwood Butcher WOULDN’T go after him. . .” Frylock said, as Tommy strode toward The Mask and. . .pulled him toward the lowest step on the ladder?

“But NOW what’s he gonna do?”

 

Tommy then ran backwards against the ropes behind them. . .

 

. . .charged toward the ladder. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND CURB STOMPED THE MASK’S FACE INTO THE STEP OF THE LADDER!!!!  


“GOOD GOD!!! GOOD GOD, TOMMY HAS ABSOLUTELY LOST IT!!!!” Shake yelled. “This guy is GOING OFF THE RAILS JUST TO WIN THIS MATCH!!!”

 

“After all the hell and frustration he went through during his near two-month long losing streak, you’d want to move hell over high water to keep your momentum up. . .and an environment like this is perfect for Tommy to do just that!” Frylock replied, as Tommy started to climb up the ladder in the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .until Spongebob ripped him off it and nailed him in the chest with a three-karate chop combination before Irish whipping him into a nearby corner. Spongebob then landed a corner clothesline on the Harwood Butcher before hooking his leg. . .

 

. . .AND T-BONE SUPLEXING HIM INTO THE LADDER IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!!! Tommy laid on the mat and the ladder in a crumbled heap as Spongebob pulled the ladder out from under Tommy and set it up in the center of the ring. . .

 

. . .while Mario slid back into the ring and climbed up the other end of the ladder!!!

 

“They were partners earlier in this match, but now Mario and Spongebob go back to being adversaries as they each try to add another accomplishment to their already long lists filled out over their long and storied careers!” Frylock said. “Will Mario make XCW history, or will Spongebob prove he has more than enough gas in the tank to finish out his career in XCW?”

 

Mario and Spongebob traded chops at the top of the ladder until Mario surprised Spongebob with a left punch rather than his right chopping hand. Spongebob faltered and Mario rammed his face into the top step before looking down. . .

 

. . .and seeing Sweet Tooth and Kenny McCormick re-enter the ring from opposite sides!!! Mario then looked back at Spongebob. . .

 

. . .pulled him up by his arm, draping it across his back. . .

 

. . .lifting him up. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND ROLLED OFF THE LADDER WITH A ROLLING SUPLEX!!!! MARIO AND SPONGEBOB’S IMPACT ONTO THE MAT SENT THE LADDER FALLING ONTO THE MAT!!!

 

“Well, it may have not been Mario’s usual trifecta, but that rolling suplex off the ladder sure had the impact of all three!” Frylock said. “He saw two men coming, and abandoned ship before they could get to him!”

 

“He sure did!” Shake agreed. “Might as well call that one the 1-Up Suplex!”

 

Spongebob rolled out of the ring to collect himself while Mario rose to a seated position before standing right up and charging toward Sweet Tooth, who met him with a throat thrust before taking him down with a Scoop Slam! Sweet Tooth then pulled Mario onto a downed ladder facing upward before running against the ropes behind him for a leg drop. . .

 

. . .but Kenny McCormick met him on the bounceback with a wheelbarrow bodyscissors bulldog!!! Meanwhile, Claude Speed strode back into the ring with a ladder of his own and nailed Kenny in the face with it before setting it up in the center of the ring and climbing up it!!!

 

“And Liberty City’s Lucifer, Claude Speed finally has an opening for the briefcase!!!” Frylock called. “Will Claude make XCW history yet again???”

 

Claude made it halfway up the ladder. . .unaware that Arthur had climbed up to the ring apron from the ringside floor!!! Arthur then leapt onto the top rope. . .

 

. . .BEFORE LAUNCHING HIMSELF TOWARD CLAUDE AND KNOCKING HIM OFF THE LADDER WITH THE PBS KICK!!!!

 

“NO! THAT DAMN ARTHUR READ SURPRISED CLAUDE YET AGAIN!!!” Frylock shouted with disgust while Arthur raised his fists up above his head and screamed a confident, “YEAH!!!” to DEAFENING boos from the crowd. . .

 

. . .before climbing up the ladder. . .

 

. . .or, he WOULD have, if KENNY DIDN’T NAIL HIM IN THE FACE WITH A LADDER!!! The impact sent Arthur reeling toward the ropes facing the ramp. . .

 

. . .AND ARTHUR GOT CAUGHT OVER THE MIDDLE ROPE!!! Kenny raised an arm with anticipation as the crowd started to cheer!

 

“But he didn’t see THIS coming!!!” Frylock added, as Kenny ran toward the ropes. . .

 

. . .caught the ring post and spun around. . .

 

. . .AND NAILED ARTHUR IN THE FACE WITH THE 303!!! With Arthur laying in the center of the ring to cheers from the crowd as Kenny leapt onto the top rope!!!

 

“The fans are on their feet here in King’s Landing!!!” Frylock called. “Because they’re about to watch Kenny FLY---“

 

Kenny then leapt off the top rope, going for a Flying Headbutt. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .ONLY TO BE HIT IN MID-AIR BY A LADDER FROM CLAUDE!!!! The crowd shouted, “OHHHHHHH!!!!” upon the impact while Kenny crashed onto the mat!!!

 

“Kenny went for it all, but he didn’t count on Liberty City’s Lucifer getting into his tracks!” Frylock said, as Claude set up the ladder in the center of the ring, trapping Kenny under the lower step! “And now Claude Speed is on his way back up to the briefcase!!!”

 

Claude made it to the top of the ladder and reached for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .gripped onto it before pulling it down. . .

 

. . .STARTING TO TAKE IT OFF THE CHAIN. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .only for Spongebob to make it up to the top on the other side of Claude’s ladder and knock Claude’s grip off the briefcase with a karate chop!!! Claude fired back at Spongebob with a swift right hand, but the Sponge Suplex Machine retaliated with another karate chop---

 

\--or, he would have, if Claude didn’t block it with his arm, then lock him in a reverse rear-naked choke hold!!! Spongebob gasped and wheezed for breath as Claude only intensified the hold!!!

 

“If Claude can’t fight Spongebob off the ladder, he’ll CHOKE HIM off of it!!!” Frylock declared. “He’s got that Rear Naked Choke Hold locked in tight, with nowhere for Spongebob to go but DOWN!!!”

 

Spongebob continued thrashing and flailing his arms around as he tried to fight out of the hold as the crowd continued cheering, “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!”. . .

 

. . .UNTIL SPONGEBOB FINALLY FOUGHT OUT OF HIS GRIP WITH A KNEE TO CLAUDE’S CHIN!!! Claude faltered backward, ALMOST losing his balance on the ladder. . .

 

. . .but Spongebob caught his arm before he could fall off, and saw. . .

 

. . .a folded up ladder on the mat below him???

 

“Both of those men have to come down at SOME POINT. . .” Frylock foreboded. “. . .but for Claude, that may unfortunately be sooner that later!!!”

 

“What the hell is going through that sponge’s mind?” Shake wondered, as Spongebob climbed up one more step of the ladder. . .

 

. . .AND PUT CLAUDE IN POSITION FOR A POWERBOMB!!!

 

“Oh NO. . .” Frylock foreboded, as Spongebob raised a fist high into the air. . .

 

“. . .Liberty City’s Lucifer may be on his way back to HELL. . .” Shake declared, as Spongebob lifted Claude up. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .spun to the left. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED CLAUDE FROM TWENTY-FIVE FEET HIGH ABOVE THE RING WITH THE SPONGY EDGE, SENDING CLAUDE TO HIT THE LADDER ON THE MAT BACK-FIRST!!!!

 

“OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!! SPONGEBOB MAY HAVE BROKEN CLAUDE’S BACK IN EVERY PLACE IMAGINABLE!!!” Frylock shouted.

 

“AND NOW THE TRUE ANIMATION ICON IS FINALLY GONNA LIVE UP TO HIS NAME, AND MAKE XCW HISTORY!!!” added Shake, as Spongebob reached up for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .pulled it downward. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .started to pull it off the chain. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BUT TOMMY VERCETTI NAILED HIM IN THE BACK WITH A STEEL CHAIR FROM BEHIND, BREAKING HIS GRIP!!!

 

“NOOOO!!! THE EVER-TENACIOUS TOMMY VERCETTI IS BACK UP, AND HE’S NOT ABOUT TO LET SPONGEBOB TAKE THE BRIEFCASE!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly, as Spongebob cried in agonizing pain from the chair shot. . .

 

. . .BEFORE TOMMY PULLED HIM OFF THE LADDER WITH A BACK SUPLEX!!!! The impact of both men on the mat sent the twenty-five foot ladder falling to the mat on its side while Spongebob and Tommy slowly but surely rose up to their feet, with Spongebob making the first strike across Tommy’s chest with a karate chop. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO NAIL SPONGEBOB BETWEEN THE EYES WITH A BRASS-KNUCKLE LADEN RIGHT HAND!!!!

 

“Tommy caught Spongebob by surprise with his trusty brass knuckles!” Frylock called. “And Spongebob knows the feeling of that weapon TOO well!”

 

Tommy sent Spongebob reeling against the ropes with two more right hands, but Spongebob retaliated with a desperation kick to the midsection. . .

 

. . .but Tommy caught it before it could make impact!!! The Harwood Butcher then spun Spongebob around by his leg, then when Spongebob came around to Tommy’s front, he kicked Spongebob in the midsection. . .

 

. . .AND PLANTED HIM WITH A DOUBLE ARM DDT ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!!! Spongebob screamed in agonizing pain as Tommy picked up the twenty-five foot ladder and set it up. . .but turned around and gave a malicious glare to Spongebob, who was rolling on the mat, selling his back in pain.

 

“Tommy’s about to go for the briefcase. . . . . .or is he?” Frylock wondered, as Tommy wiped some blood trickling down his face. . .before picking up and unfolding the steel chair. . .and setting it in front of the ladder?

 

“At this point, I don’t even WANT to know what’s going through that man’s head. . .” Shake foreboded, as Tommy pulled Spongebob up by his shirt. . .

 

. . .hooked his arms. . .

 

. . .AND RAISED HIM SO HIS HEAD WAS FACING THE FLOOR. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BUT CLIMBED UP TWO STEPS OF THE LADDER, WITH SPONGEBOB FACING THE OPEN STEEL CHAIR!!!

 

“NO WAY. . .HE. . .HE CAN’T DO THIS!!!” Shake exclaimed, as the crowd watched with anticipation as the Harwood Butcher roared with intensity as he kept his grip on Spongebob while eventually reaching the third step. . .

 

“Oh no. . .even at a short height like that, Spongebob can see the end of the world from here!!!” Frylock shouted, as Tommy roared with intensity. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BEORE LEAPING OFF THE THIRD STEP OF THE LADDER. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND CRUSHING SPONGEBOB THROUGH THE STEEL CHAIR WITH THE VERCETTI DRIVER!!!! THE CROWD ERUPTED IN CHEERS OF “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” WHILE SPONGEBOB LAID IN THE BROKEN REMAINS OF THE STEEL CHAIR IN A CRUMBLED HEAP!!!

 

“OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!! TOMMY VERCETTI MAY HAVE BROKEN SPONGEBOB’S BODY WITH THAT DIVING VERCETTI DRIVER!!!” Frylock exclaimed unintelligibly as Spongebob’s limbs twitched and jerked with small movement as Tommy kicked the Sponge Suplex Machine out of the ring under the bottom rope, sending Spongebob down to the ringside floor.

 

“TOMMY’S TRYING TO HANDICAP HIS OPPONENTS NOW!!!” Shake shouted. “HOW FAR WILL THIS MAN GO TO WIN THE SILVER LINING BRIEFCASE???”

 

As the fans chanted, “HE’S HARDCORE!!! HE’S HARDCORE!!!” Tommy turned around. . .

 

. . .and started climbing up the ladder!!!

 

“He doesn’t have to go much further, Shake. . .” Frylock said, “. . .because his name in the history books, and a contract for a shot at the XCW World Heavyweight Championship is mere steps away for the Harwood Butcher!”

 

Tommy made it halfway up the ladder. . .until—

 

“DING DONG!!!”

 

\--THE MASK TOOK TOMMY BACK DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN!!!

 

“But there’s ANOTHER man looking to make history and revitalize his career, Shake!!!” The Mask then landed a leg drop across the chest of Tommy Vercetti before pulling him up to his feet and Irish whipping him into the corner behind him! The Mask then charged toward the Harwood Butcher. . .

 

. . .who caught The Mask by surprise with a kick to the jaw!!! The Mask stumbled out of the corner toward Claude Speed. . .

 

. . .who tossed a ladder into The Mask’s arms. . .

 

. . .but Stanley caught it before it could make any impact with his face!!! The Mask looked up at Claude, who was running against the ropes behind him. . .

 

. . .then charged toward The Mask, saying only one thing. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .”EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BEFORE HITTING THE LADDER INTO THE MASK’S FACE AND KNOCKING HIM DOWN WITH A BICYCLE KICK!!!! The crowd shouted, “OHHHHH!!!!” from the impact as The Mask sold his face in pain, while Claude smirked in satisfaction!

 

“Claude and The Mask may be comrades outside of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, but even that has to be put aside tonight with the stakes as high as they are!!!” Frylock said, as Claude made his way up the ladder!!!

 

“And now Liberty City’s Lucifer is about to go to higher ground. . .because he’s GUNNING for the briefcase!!!” Shake added, as Claude made it halfway up the ladder. . .

 

. . .until MARIO pulled him off it and back down to the mat by his jacket!!!

 

“NOOO!!! MARIO IS BACK IN THIS THING!!!!” Frylock shouted as Mario hit Claude across the chest with chop after chop before following it up with a kick to the midsection! Meanwhile, Tommy had stumbled out of the corner, selling his head and back in pain from everything he had taken. . .

 

. . .until SWEET TOOTH SHOVED HIM BACK INTO THE CORNER AND BEGAN TO CHOKE HIM AGAINST THE PADDING. . .

 

. . .but Tommy fought out of it with a series of brass-knuckled fists to the ribs and kidneys of the Twisted Metal Mascot!!!

 

“These two men have taken their fair share of beatings toward each other over the course of this match, and they’re only getting more and more BRUTAL as it continues!” Frylock declared, as Tommy lifted Sweet Tooth up. . .and drove him onto the mat with a standing spinebuster!!! The Harwood Butcher then shoved Sweet Tooth under the bottom rope. . .but Sweet Tooth grasped onto the bottom rope before he could land on the ringside floor!!! Tommy backed up as Sweet Tooth pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes. . .until the Harwood Butcher sprinted forward and baseball slid into Sweet Tooth’s legs, sweeping them out from under him and causing Sweet Tooth to hit the apron head first before falling onto the ringside floor!!!

 

“Tommy Vercetti is just going OFF on the Twisted Metal Mascot!!!” Frylock said. “He’s been nothing short of a house of fire since coming back into this match!”

 

“BUT WAIT A MINUTE!!! LOOK AT MARIO!!!” Shake snapped, as Mario took Claude down to the mat with a scoop slam. . .but the Champion of Life wasn’t done. He then reached down and gripped Claude by the arm, lifting him up forcefully to a standing position. . .

 

. . .before lifting him up. . .and taking him down with a rolling suplex!!! But Mario kept his grip onto Claude as he pulled him back up. . .lifted him HIGH above his head. . .and took him down with ANOTHER rolling suplex. . .Mario then rolled closer to the down ladder next to him before pulling Claude up to his feet. . .

 

. . .lifting him HIGH above his head. . .

 

. . .AND COMPLETING THE 3-UP SUPLEXES WITH A ROLLING SUPLEX THAT DROPPED CLAUDE ONTO THE LADDER!!!!

 

“Mario is just RELENTLESS in his destruction of Liberty City’s Lucifer!!!” Frylock said, as the Champion of Life turned around to see The Mask slowly but surely rising to his feet. Mario grimaced at the sight of his adversary before striding toward him. . .

 

“And now he’s going after The Mask!!!” Shake declared. “Given what Stanley’s put him through over the last few weeks, Mario’s looking to keep The Mask from getting anywhere CLOSE to the Silver Lining briefcase!!!”

 

Mario slugged The Mask with a European uppercut before lifting him onto his shoulders. . .

 

. . .running forward. . .

 

. . .AND TAKING HIM DOWN WITH THE NINTENDOZER!!!!

 

“MARIO PULLED OUT THE STOPS WITH HIS UCA FINISHER!!!” Frylock shouted. “And now that may have put the Champion of Life in position to pull down the Silver Lining briefcase!”

 

Mario then climbed up the ladder and eventually made it up to the top!!!

 

“Mario is the first-ever Grand Slam Champion in WWE’s animated division. . .the longest reigning UCA World Heavyweight Champion. . .and he was the first-ever World Heavyweight Champion in the history of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .now he is mere INCHES away from adding another accolade to his list of accomplishments, as XCW’s first-ever Silver Lining ladder match winner!” Frylock said.

 

“He’s TRULY living up to his name as the Champion of Life!” Shake agreed, as Mario reached up for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .gripped it and pulled it down. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .UNAWARE THAT ARTHUR WAS CLIMBING UP HIS SIDE OF THE LADDER!!! Mario was close to unhooking the briefcase. . .

 

. . .UNTIL ARTHUR SWEPT HIS LEG OUT FROM UNDER HIM AND STUCK IN BETWEEN THE RUNGS OF THE LADDER, PUTTING HIM IN THE TREE OF WOE!!!

 

“WAIT A MINUTE!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd’s boos began to grow defeaning. “ARTHUR’S CAUGHT MARIO IN THE TREE OF WOE!!! ARTHUR’S ON THE FAST TRACK TO THE BRIEFCASE!!! And this crowd does NOT like this one bit!!!”

 

“Well, they have BAD taste, Frylock!” Shake dismissed. “Arthur’s about to win the Silver Lining briefcase just as he won the World Television Championship. .. with his INTELLECT!”

 

While Mario eventually slipped his leg out from in between the rungs of the ladder only to slide down onto the mat, Arthur reached the top step of the ladder!

 

“HE’S GONNA WIN BY SKATING BY, SHAKE, AND YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT!!!” Frylock yelled. “HE BARELY THREW A PUNCH IN THIS ENTIRE MATCH!!! HE DOESN’T DESERVE THE FUCKING BRIEFCASE, AND HE DOESN’T DESERVE THE WORLD TELEVISION TITLE!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!!”

 

Arthur reached up for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .gripped it and pulled it down. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .but the ladder shook a little bit, causing Arthur to let go of the briefcase!

 

“Wait a minute. . .what the hell was that?” Frylock wondered, as Arthur looked down. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and froze in absolute SHOCK when. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

**_. . .HE SAW CLAUDE SPEED AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LADDER!!!! _ **

 

“OHHHH NOOOOOOOO……” Shake exclaimed, as the crowd erupted into cheers!!! Arthur tried to reach up for the briefcase again. . .but Claude would shake the ladder, causing Arthur to grip onto the top of the ladder to keep his balance!!!

 

“GET DOWN FROM THERE, ARTHUR!!!!” Shake implored. “GO FOR A CLOTHESLINE!!! ANYTHING!!!!”

 

“HE’S STUCK UP THERE, SHAKE!!!” Frylock declared. “HE CAN SEE THE END OF THE WORLD FROM HERE, AND CLAUDE’S PLAYING MIND GAMES WITH HIM!!! HE HID THE BEST HE COULD. . .BUT ARTHUR WAS DUE FOR THIS PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE!!!!”

 

Claude then looked away from Arthur. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

_. . .and at the car he drove to the ring. . ._

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .then back at Arthur. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .then back at his car. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .then back at Arthur. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and his mouth rose into the slyest of smirks as the crowd erupted into chants of, “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!”

 

Shake gasped. “HE WOULDN’T. . .”

 

“After everything he’s been put through, Shake, HE WOULD. . .” Frylock replied, as Arthur tried to reach for the briefcase but Claude kept shaking it. . .

 

“Don’t. . .” Shake implored. “. . .DON’T DO IT. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .”DON’T DO IT, CLAUDE!!!! HE’S JUST A BOOOOY!!!!!!”

 

. . .

 

. . .BEFORE TIPPING IT TO THE LEFT. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .”NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

**_. . .AND SENT ARTHUR CRASHING INTO THE CAR, SHATTERING FACE FIRST THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD!!!!! THE CROWD ERUPTED INTO THE BIGGEST POP OF THE NIGHT!!!!!! _ **

 

“BAH GAWD!!!! BAH GAWD!!!! ARTHUR FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER JUST LANDED IN THE FRONT SEAT OF CLAUDE’S CAR!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, AND NEITHER CAN THE REST OF THE MEN IN THIS MATCH!!!!” screamed Frylock, as everyone in the ring stopped in their tracks absolutely dumbfounded, while Tommy just looked on with an angry grimace. . .

 

. . .while Claude had the BIGGEST smile on his face!!!

 

“SOMEBODY GET SOME HELP OUT HERE!!! ARTHUR’S BODY HAS BEEN BROKEN IN TWO!!!! PLEASE GET HIM SOME HELP OUT HERE!!!!” Shake screamed, pointing at Claude. “AND SOMEBODY SUSPEND THAT DAMN MAN!!! HE’S PRACTICALLY ASKING FOR IT!!!”

 

While EMTs ran down the ramp and looked in Claude’s car for Arther, Claude shouted in The Mask’s direction, and he came to Claude’s side, and Liberty City’s Lucifer said something under his breath and pointed at Mario, who was slowly but surely getting up to his feet, and The Mask nodded in response before Claude folded up the ladder on the other side. The Mask took the bottom end while Claude held the top end at a horizontal angle as Mario turned around to face Claude and The Mask. . .

 

. . .UNTIL THEY CHARGED FORWARD AND TOOK MARIO DOWN WITH THE LADDER, USING IT AS A BATTERING RAM!!! The Mask then handed Claude his end of the ladder before Liberty City’s Lucifer set the ladder up in the center of the ring under the briefcase!!! Meanwhile, Tommy picked up another nearby ladder and set it up to the left of Claude’s and climbed up it as The Mask started climbing up the other end of Claude’s ladder. . .

 

. . .or, he WOULD have, if he didn’t see Kenny slowly staggering from the ring apron onto the top rope in front of him!!!

 

“WAIT A MINUTE!!! THE SOUTH PARK EXTREMIST IS BACK IN THE MATCH!!!” Frylock shouted, as Kenny leapt off the top rope going for a Flying Headscissors. . .

 

. . .BUT THE MASK CAUGHT KENNY’S LEGS AND SWEPT HIM BACK-FIRST ONTO THE FLOOR!!!!

 

“Well. . .THIS was inevitable. . .” Shake said, as the crowd’s cheers grew in volume while The Mask grinned like a Cheshire Cat with excitement. . .

 

. . .BEFORE SPINNING KENNY AROUND WITH THE GREEN CYCLONE!!!

 

“Kenny came back into the match into the wrong place at the wrong time!!!” Frylock declared, as The Mask spun Kenny around the mat, with the crowd counting in unison with him, while he said, “ONE. . .MISSISSIPPI! Two. . .MISSISSIPPI! THREE. . .MISSISSIPPI!!!”

 

Meanwhile, Tommy was climbing up his ladder, straining with all the effort he had until Mario grabbed him by his shoe and pulled him back down to the mat!!! Mario slugged the Harwood Butcher with a series of right hands before Irish whipping him into Claude’s ladder, which sent Liberty City’s Lucifer falling onto the mat!!!

 

“Mario is back on his feet, and he’s fighting like the Champion of Life he claims to be!!!” Frylock declared. . .as The Mask was STILL spinning Kenny McCormick around in the Green Cyclone as his count reached TWENTY-TWO. . .

 

. . .then TWENTY-THREE. . .

 

. . .TWENTY-FOUR. . .

 

. . .TWENTY-FIVE. . .

 

“. . .kinda long, isn’t it?” The Mask said to the camera, before spinning the South Park Extremist around five more times to a count of thirty. . .

 

. . .before Mario gripped The Mask by the back and sent him flying to the south side of the ring, breaking his grip on Kenny, who rolled out of the ring and stumbled around the ringside floor in front of the commentators in a daze, running into the left edge of Frylock and Shake’s announcer’s table!”

 

“The Mask spun Kenny around like soft serve in an ice cream mixer!” Frylock declared. “And the South Park Extremist doesn’t know where he IS right now!”

 

“He BETTER not upchuck on me! I just got this fuckin’ suit!” Shake snapped, as Kenny meandered toward the ring. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .UNTIL SWEET TOOTH GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT!!!

 

“OH NO. . .NEEDLES ‘SWEET TOOTH’ KANE IS BACK UP. . .AND HE HAS THE SWEET TOOTH FOR DESTRUCTION RIGHT NOW!!!” Shake screamed, as Sweet Tooth turned around to face the ladder still resting across the ringside floor like a bridge between the ring apron and the announcer’s table. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .lifted him up HIGH above his head. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND CHOKESLAMMED KENNY THROUGH THE LADDER!!! The crowd erupted into groans of pain as Kenny laid motionless in the wreckage of the ladder!

 

“OH MY GOD!!! THEY KILLED KENNY!!!” Frylock shouted.

 

“YOU BASTARD!!!” screamed Shake, before Sweet Tooth looked toward the ring at Tommy and Claude still trying to recollect themselves and climbed back into it over all three ropes! Meanwhile, Mario grabbed one of the two ladders from the center of the ring and crushed it into The Mask’s sternum, driving him up against the ropes. . .

 

. . .WITH THE TWO LADDERS BRIDGING BETWEEN THE RING APRON AND THE BARRICADE BELOW THEM!!!

 

“And we thought Sweet Tooth had bad intentions just now. . .Mario’s plan is gonna do to The Mask what it did to Kenny five times over!!!” Frylock said, as Mario then set up the ladder just an inch in front of The Mask before grabbing him by his collar and pulling him up the ladder!!!

 

Meanwhile, Sweet Tooth loomed over Claude before pulling him up by the collar of his jacket and slugged him in the chest with a throat thrust. . .before lifting him up and CRUSHED HIS BACK WITH A POWERBOMB AGAINST HIS KNEE!!!! Claude rolled around the ring in agonizing pain as Sweet Tooth looked up at the briefcase in the rafters. . .

 

. . .AND CLIMBED UP THE LADDER TOWARDS IT!!!

 

“Sweet Tooth has been on a TEAR since joining the Knighthood of Assassins at the beginning of XCW’s New Era!” Frylock informed. “He’s beaten Tai Kamiya. . .he’s beaten Bugs Bunny. . .and now the Twisted Metal Mascot is about to overcome seven other men. . .and claim yet ANOTHER prize for the most attitudinal stable in this company’s early history!!! I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!!!”

 

“WAIT A MINUTE!!!” Shake shouted. “LOOK AT TOMMY ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!!”

 

Indeed, while Sweet Tooth made it to the top of the ladder, Tommy Vercetti was slowly but surely climbing up the ladder from the OTHER side!!! Sweet Tooth reached up for the briefcase to the best of his ability!!!

 

“WILL TOMMY MAKE IT BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE??!?!” Frylock yelled, as Sweet Tooth stepped up to the VERY top of the ladder, extended his arms for the briefcase. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .PULLED IT DOWN. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .STARTED TO UNHOOK IT FROM THE CHAIN. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY VERCETTI TO PUNCH THE BRIEFCASE INTO SWEET TOOTH’S FACE WITH A BRASS KNUCKLE-LADEN FIST, CAUSING SWEET TOOTH TO BREAK HIS GRIP!!!

 

“HE MADE IT!!!” Frylock screamed. “THE HARWOOD BUTCHER STOPPED SWEET TOOTH! AND NOW HE AND THE TWISTED METAL MASCOT ARE DUKING IT OUT ONCE AGAIN!!!”

 

The briefcase zipped back up to the rafters while Sweet Tooth shook his head back into reality, then he nailed Tommy in the temple with a hard strike of his own, only to receive ANOTHER brass knuckled right hand from the Harwood Butcher! The two continued trading deadly punches HIGH above the ring. . .

 

. . .UNTIL TOMMY SURPRISED SWEET TOOTH WITH A BRASS KNUCKLE-LADEN LEFT HAND!!!!! Sweet Tooth faltered and rested his face against the top step of the ladder while Tommy reached for the briefcase!!!

 

“AND NOW THE HARWOOD BUTCHER HAS GLORY AND HISTORY WITHIN HIS SIGHTS!!!” Frylock shouted, as Tommy extended his arms out. . .

 

. . .but out of the corner of his eye. . .he saw the unprotected top turnbuckle. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and retracted his arm from the briefcase?

 

“NOW what the hell is Tommy about to do?” Shake wondered. “He could’ve retrieved the briefcase!”

 

“Somehow, Shake. . .” Frylock started, as Tommy looked down at Sweet Tooth. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND GRIPPED HIM BY THE BACK STRAPS OF HIS MASK!!!

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

“. . .I think he has BIGGER IDEAS on his MIND. . .”

 

Tommy pulled Sweet Tooth’s head and face off the ladder top. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .before putting him in a headlock. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .LEAPING OFF THE LADDER. . .

 

. . .

 

“OHHH SHIT, TOMMY’S GONNA FLYYYY!!!!!”

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

**_. . .AND SHATTERED SWEET TOOTH’S MASK BY DRIVING HIM FACE FIRST ONTO THE UNPROTECTED TOP TURNBUCKLE WITH A BULLDOG FROM THE LADDER!!!  _ **

 

THE IMPACT SENT TOMMY FALLING ONTO THE MAT WHILE SWEET TOOTH LAID ON THE MAT UNDER THE CORNER IN A CRUMBLED HEAP, COVERING HIS FACE!!!!

 

“BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!! TOMMY VERCETTI MAY HAVE JUST CONCUSSED NEEDLES KANE ON HIS WAY TO UNMASKING HIM, AND KNOCKING HIM OUT OF THIS MATCH!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly as Sweet Tooth rolled out of the ring, laying on the ringside floor, selling his head in pain and facing down so his face was obscured.

 

“GOOD GOD!!! NO ONE IS SAFE WHEN THIS MAN IS IN THE RING!!!” Shake declared, as Tommy rested in the corner, grasping onto the ropes in front of him while he caught his breath.

 

Meanwhile, back on the south end of the ring, Mario had made it to the top step of the ladder on the left side. . .

 

. . .AND SAT THE MASK ON HIS SHOULDERS IN A FIREMAN’S CARRY!!!

 

“And now look at MARIO!!! He’s got The Mask in the worst position imaginable!!!” Frylock screamed, as Mario raised a peace sign high into the air. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .but The Mask elbowed him in the face!!! Mario wavered a bit but held onto the top step of the ladder to keep his balance. . .until The Mask elbowed him in the face again, before gripping onto the top step of the ladder HIMSELF. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND SLID OFF MARIO’S SHOULDERS AND ONTO THE TOP STEP OF THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE LADDER!!!!

 

“WHAT THE HELL???” Shake exclaimed. “WHEN DID THE MASK BECOME ACROBATIC???”

 

Mario stared across the ladder at his adversary before the two of them traded swift right hands!!!

 

“He’s always been one of the best showmen in the game, Shake. . .and now he and Mario are duking it out!!! Not to grab the briefcase. . .but to knock the other out!!!” Frylock said, as The Mask punched Mario right between the eyes with a boxer jab, but the Champion of Life fired back with a right hand!!! Mario then went for a surprise left hand while The Mask leaned forward. . .

 

. . .but The Mask gripped Mario’s left arm before driving Mario’s bleeding head onto the top step with a Bionic Elbow!!!

 

“THAT’LL MAKE MARIO’S HEAD RING!!!” Frylock said, as The Mask kept his grip on Mario’s left arm. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AS HE LIFTED MARIO ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!!!  


“Oh no. . .now, just. . .COME ON, MASK!!!!” Frylock shouted, as the fans rose to their feet and cheered with anticipation!!!!

 

“The Mask is in the driver’s seat of DOOM!!!” Shake called. “WHAT IS THIS IDIOT THINKING????”

 

The Mask stepped onto the VERY, VERY TOP of the ladder, with the biggest grin on his face. . .

 

“NO, MASK!!! DON’T DO IT!!! DON’T DO IT!!!!” Frylock screamed. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .before The Mask yelled, “RIIIIICOLAAAAA!!!!” at the top of his lungs. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BEFORE FALLING OFF THE LADDER. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

**_. . .AND DRIVING MARIO AND HIMSELF THROUGH BOTH OF THE LADDERS WITH THE EDGE CITY PLUNGE!!!!  _ **

 

BOTH MARIO AND THE MASK WERE DOWN IN THE WRECKAGE OF BOTH LADDERS IN A CRUMBLED HEAP WHILE THE CROWD CHANTED, “THIS IS AWESOME!!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!” and “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!”

 

“……..OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!” Frylock screamed! “FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER, THE MASK DROVE MARIO AT FULL FORCE THROUGH BOTH LADDERS TO THEIR CERTAIN DOOM!!! THAT MIGHT HAVE BROKEN MARIO’S BACK!!!”

 

“IT PROBABLY CONCUSSED THE MASK’S HEAD, LIKE IT WOULD MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE!!!” Shake added, as The Mask weakly raised an arm. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and flashed a thumbs-up toward the crowd, before lowering his head and said, “Sssssmokin. . .” as the EMTs came to the wreckage he and Mario were stuck in.

 

Meanwhile. . .back in the ring. . .Claude Speed was climbing up the ladder on the right side. . .and was already halfway to the briefcase. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .but Tommy stepped out of HIS corner, and started climbing up the LEFT SIDE OF THE LADDER!!!!

  
“AND NOW WE’RE DOWN TO CLAUDE. . .AND TOMMY VERCETTI!!!” Frylock called. “Two of the best of friends. . .and two of the most dangerous men in this industry. . .both of them climbing to put their names in XCW history. . .by becoming the first ever winner of the Silver Lining ladder match!!!”

 

Tommy made it up halfway while Claude was reaching for the briefcase as the crowd began chanting, “FIGHT, CLAUDE, FIGHT!!! FIGHT, CLAUDE, FIGHT!!!”. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and Tommy SEETHED as he pulled himself closer to the top of the ladder!!!

 

“From the sounds of the crowd, they’ve already picked who they wanna win!” Shake quipped. “While Tommy looks like an atomic bomb ready to BURST!”

 

Claude extended his hands even closer to the briefcase. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .until Tommy NAILED Claude in the face with his brass knuckled fist!!! Claude faltered a bit from the impact before looking at Tommy with a smirk, as if to say, “It came down to us, huh?”. . .

 

. . .before firing back with a brass knuckled right hand of his own!!! Tommy hung onto the top of the ladder for dear life as he tried to wipe the blood from his face with the other. . .

 

. . .but the chants grew LOUDER. . .along with the growl under Tommy’s breath. . .

 

. . .until Tommy pulled himself back toward the ladder and nailed Claude right between the eyes with his brass knuckled punch!!! Claude sold the right hand in pain as Tommy pulled the briefcase closer to him. . .

 

. . .extended his arms out. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BUT CLAUDE NAILED TOMMY IN THE TEMPLE WITH A RIGHT HAND, BREAKING HIS GRIP OFF THE BRIEFCASE AND CAUSING HIM TO FALTER AND SELL HIS FACE AGAINST THE LADDER’S TOP STEP!!!!

 

“TOMMY LOST HIS GRIP!!!” Frylock shouted at the top of his lungs. “TOMMY IS DOWN!!! CLAUDE’S VICTORY IS WELL IN HAND!!!”

 

Tommy tried to regain his composure by shaking his head back into reality. . .

 

. . .but in THIS reality, all the fans were chanting, “FIGHT, CLAUDE, FIGHT!!! FIGHT, CLAUDE, FIGHT!!!!”. . .

 

. . .as Claude extended his arms toward the briefcase!

  
“He’s this company’s first-ever Hardcore Champion, the first man in our company to win another company’s title, a former Television Champion. . .and he JUST defeated The Joker in a Gas Chamber match. . .” Frylock was informing. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .as Claude maintained a grip on both sides of the briefcase. . .

 

“. . .but now, Claude Speed’s greatest accomplishment. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .pulled it down with the chain still attached. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .”brings him ONE STEP CLOSER. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .PUSHED THE OPENING ON THE HOOK. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

“. . .TO OUR MOST COVETED PRIZE. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

**_. . .AND TOMMY VERCETTI GRIPPED ONTO BOTH SIDES OF THE BRIEFCASE AND SMASHED ITS EDGE INTO CLAUDE’S FACE, BUSTING HIM OPEN AND KNOCKING HIM OFF THE LADDER!!!!!!  _ **

 

“. . .AND A PLACE IN HIS---WHAAAAT?!?!!” Frylock exclaimed!!!! “HE GOT A FACEFUL OF THE BRIEFCASE FROM TOMMY!!!! TOMMY IS UP!!! TOMMY IS ALL ALONE!!!!”

 

“TOMMY VERCETTI HAS THE BRIEFCASE!!!!” Shake declared, as Tommy pulled the briefcase closer to him. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . . . . .PUSHED THE OPENING OF THE HOOK. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

**_. . .AND PULLED THE BRIEFCASE OFF OF THE HOOK!!!! TOMMY VERCETTI RAISED THE BRIEFCASE HIGH ABOVE HIS HEAD AS THE BELL RANG, AND THE CROWD WENT WILD!!!!! _ **

 

“TOMMY VERCETTI IS THE WINNER OF THE FIRST-EVER SILVER LINING LADDER MATCH!!!!!” Frylock shouted unintelligibly, while Tommy hugged the briefcase against his chest before falling off the ladder, and onto the mat back-first!!!!

 

**“The winner of this match. . .and the 2012 SILVER LINING LADDER MATCH WINNER. . .THE HARWOOD BUTCHER. . .TOMMYYYYYYYYY VEEEEEEEERCETTIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!”**

“This sellout crowd in King’s Landing is on their feet and applauding, and by God, I can’t blame them!” Frylock exclaimed. “Ladies and gentlemen, all eight of these men have given their absolute ALL. . .they have put their bodies on the line. . .and have taken SO MUCH PUNISHMENT. . .but in the end, ONE MAN had to come away with the Silver Lining briefcase. . .and that man is the one who embodies all of that in his body and intensity. . .the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti. Congratulations to him!”

 

The referee raised Tommy’s arm in victory. . .but the Harwood Butcher stayed on the mat, holding his briefcase in his other arm as he. . .

 

. . .burst into. . .laughter?

 

“. . .so you’re NOT going to question the man’s SANITY at this point???” Shake asserted. “The man has been fuckin’ JEALOUS of Claude’s success, and made him PAY for it with a briefcase shot to his FACE!!! Tommy was outright BRUTAL in his combat tonight, more so than usual. . .hell, he’s CACKLING!!! After all the blood he’s lost, and all the bumps he’s taken, he’s LAUGHING after it all!!! And it’s THIS man that’s one step closer to a World Heavyweight Championship match!!!”

  
Tommy pulled himself up to a kneeling position before rising up to his feet. . .and lifted the Silver Lining briefcase high above his head to more cheers from the crowd, who chanted, “YOU’RE HARDCORE!!! YOU’RE HARDCORE!!!!”. . .while Claude rose up to a seated position. . .and applauded his best friend.

 

“It’s a no-disqualification match, where ANYTHING goes, Shake!” Frylock insisted. “The Harwood Butcher excels in this environment, and in a match with this many men, he had to be more methodical than he had ever been since joining XCW. . .and tonight, his tenacity, sheer will to survive, and determination proved to be the deciding factor in this big victory tonight. . .and now comes the question. . .”

 

“. . .when will someone COMMIT him?” Shake quipped, as Tommy exited the ring, limping up the ramp.

 

“No. . .when will Tommy cash in the contract inside that briefcase. . .for a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship?” Frylock wondered. “He could do it as soon as TONIGHT!!!”

 

Tommy stood on the entranceway and screamed at the top of his lungs, raising the Silver Lining briefcase high above his head until the show faded to a commercial break.

 

The commercial began with a man writing something in a folder at a large desk. . .in the Oval Office of the White House?

 

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen. . .” said the man, looking up from his desk. “. . .I’m Frank Underwood. To quote Spencer Bachus. . .’America has served as a beacon of hope and freedom for those outside her borders, and as a land of limitless opportunity for those risking everything to seek a better life. Their talents and contributions have continued to enrich our country.’ While that appears true in most cases, as President of the United States, I couldn’t help to notice that this. . . _business_ of fictional wrestling is predominantly saturated by characters of the animated variety.”

 

The commercial cut to various shots of Django Freeman taking down Dominic Toretto with an over-the-shoulder cutter, Nina Sayers pulling on Topanga Lawrence’s hair before whipping her down with a swinging neckbreaker, The Driver from Drive smashing a hammer into the head of Chev Chelios, Kylo Ren taking down John McClane with a flying forearm, and ‘Mad’ Max Rockatansky driving Jesse Pinkman to the mat with a modified lifting reverse STO.  


“Shouldn’t there BE an outlet for characters of the live-action class to compete against one another in matches of brute strength, high altitudes and massive amounts of weaponry, with gallons of blood, sweat and tears lost inside the proverbial squared circle?” Frank continued. “Fret no longer, because very soon. . .there will be.”

 

The commercial cut back to Frank sitting at his desk, looking into the camera.

 

“I have taken the liberty of bringing a new wrestling company to life in an attempt to reconcile this gross unbalance, and I am confident that with my leadership, our ever-growing fanbase, and skills of the talent involved. . .we WILL succeed. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .in **_ALL_** of our endeavors.”

 

The commercial faded to a graphic that read. . .

 

LAW: Live Action Wrestling

Coming Soon

 

“I’m Frank Underwood, and I approve this company,” Frank said under the graphic until it faded to black.

 

As Silver Lining returned from break, a now-bandaged Claude Speed knocked on the door to Tommy’s locker room.

 

“TOMMY!!! Hey, Tommy! You in there?” Claude asked, but no response came from inside.

 

“Come on, Tommy! Let’s celebrate your big win! I’m buying your first round at the nearest tavern here!”

 

Claude waited for a response. . .but it never came before Claude looked up at the ceiling in realization.

 

“Right. . .he’s probably getting looked at in the training room. . .” Claude said to himself. “I’ll look for him there. . .”

 

Claude started to stride away from Tommy’s locker room door. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .until Claude heard a ‘PLINK’ in the hallway behind him, and stopped in his tracks.

 

“What the hell was that?” Frylock wondered, as Claude turned around. . .

 

. . .and saw a silver quarter rolling on its edge toward him.

 

Claude gave the quarter a look of intrigue before kneeling down to pick it up. He came back to a standing position before inspecting the coin. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and saw. . .SCRATCHES on one side. . .?

 

“What the. . .FUCK???” Claude interjected aloud. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .UNTIL SOLOMON GRUNDY AND BIZARRO TOOK HIM DOWN FROM BEHIND!!!

 

“WHAT THE HELL????” Frylock shouted. “IS THAT—THAT’S SOLOMON GRUNDY AND BIZARRO!!! THE OUTCASTS FORMERLY OF THE INTERDIMENSIONAL WRESTLING FEDERATION!!! WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE???”

 

“THEY’RE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF CLAUDE. . .BUT WHY???” Shake wondered, as Solomon Grundy and Bizarro hammered away at Claude’s already sore sternum and head! Solomon Grundy pulled Liberty City’s Lucifer up to his feet and tossed him into Bizarro. . .who tossed him head and face-first into a wall!!! Claude stumbled back onto the hallway floor in a daze before Grundy lifted him up. . .

 

. . .and SCOOP SLAMMED HIM HARD ONTO THE LINOLEUM FLOOR!!!!

 

“THAT’S ENOUGH, GENTLEMEN. . .” said a man behind The Outcasts. . .who continued, “. . .hand me MY COIN. . .”

 

The figure slowly stepped toward Claude, who was writhing in agonizing pain on the floor until Bizarro picked up the scratched coin. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND HANDED IT TO HARVEY “TWO-FACE” DENT!!!

 

“Well done. . .” Two-Face said. “. . .now FINISH HIM OFF.”

 

Solomon Grundy and Bizarro nodded in compliance before pulling Claude up to a powerbomb position!!! The Outcasts lifted Claude off his feet. . .

 

. . .held him up HIGH as Two-Face looked up at him.

 

“Y’did well at Pride and Glory, Claude. . .” Two-Face said. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .before Solomon Grundy and Bizarro drove Claude HARD onto the floor with a double powerbomb!!! Claude laid on the now-cracked tile floor in a complete and utter daze as Two-Face knelt down to look into his eyes.

 

“. . .now the REAL games begin.”

 

Two-Face led Solomon Grundy and Bizarro past Claude and down the hallway, flipping his coin with his thumb the whole way, leaving Liberty City’s Lucifer on the ground cringing in pain!

 

“So. . .you mean to tell me that The Outcasts AND Two-Face are now MEMBERS OF THE XCW ROSTER???” Shake shouted.

 

“I guess so, Shake. . .but what did Two-Face MEAN??? What the hell was all THAT about????”

 

Claude didn’t move an inch from the floor as the show transitioned back to the arena. . .

 

. . .as “Red Lottery” by Megasus played as the arena became engulfed in red light, to MASSIVE boos from the crowd, before Hotsuma walked onto the stage and down the ramp with Daffy Duck by his side, their focus on nothing but the ring.

 

“Well, despite THAT development, ladies and gentlemen. . .we now move on. . .to our main event.” Frylock declared. “And whether we like it or not, this month has been an eventful one for those two men right there. Hotsuma formed the Knighthood of Assassins based on the idea that he and other members of the XCW roster were glossed over in favor of running the same matches repeatedly. They don’t want to take over the industry like the Rookie Revolution. . .JUST XCW. . .and for the Knighthood of Assassins, this is also about demanding for RESPECT. . .or else they would BEAT IT out of everyone they faced. And now the Knighthood Leader, Hotsuma, stands on the precipice of completing the Knighthood’s dominance over Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling tonight, and adding the XCW World Heavyweight Championship to the Knighthood’s list of accolades would assure an all-out reign of terror and violence over the XCW roster!”

Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stood on the middle rope in a corner, glaring at the fans as Daffy pointed at him, nodding his head and screaming, “THIS IS YOUR NEXT WORLD CHAMPION!!!”

“Hotsuma has always been methodical with his brutality since debuting in the first-ever World Heavyweight title match in this company’s history, but don’t forget that with Daffy Duck in his corner, he’s even MORE unpredictable!” Shake added. “While the rest of the Knighthood fights by a Code of Warriors, which states the Assassins have to win their matches on their own with no outside interference. But when Hotsuma went over the details of Daffy’s membership in the stable, he said that the Knighthood Strategist was EXEMPT from it given his status as a Fiction Wrestling Hall of Famer! Daffy Duck has been often called Fiction Wrestling’s First Heel, and now that he’s on the record of saying he’ll make sure nobody keeps Hotsuma from winning tonight. . .I fear for how far he’ll go to put the XCW World Heavyweight Championship in the hands of the Knighthood.”

 

Hotsuma glared up the ramp with anticipation until. . .

 

. . . "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played! The crowd erupted into cheers as Tai Kamiya and Bugs Bunny stepped down the stage, focusing only on the ring.

 

“But there’s a lot more on the line for Tai Kamiya than just the World Heavyweight Championship.” Frylock said. “And it all ties into the health of his leg; injured at the hands of Davis Motomiya during their Throw In The Towel match at Wrestlemania, it hasn’t gotten any better because Tai has been scheduled to compete every week this month aside from one, and that’s because according to the anonymous chairman, Tai’s status as the World Heavyweight Champion makes him obligated to appear at every televised XCW event. But last week on Monday Night Massacre, Space Ghost announced that the anonymous chairman had a change of heart and agreed to give The Crestbearer of Courage a month-long break from in-ring competition. . .if he could beat Hotsuma tonight. But given the status of his leg, and Hotsuma’s devastating in-ring ability, the odds were stacked against the World Heavyweight Champion.”

The crowd cheered as Tai slid into the ring and posed on two opposite turnbuckles, raising the World Heavyweight title belt toward the fans, while Bugs entered the ring. . .and stared down Daffy Duck.

“But that was until Tai demanded that Bugs Bunny be in his corner for this match tonight!” Shake added. “And after how Daffy joined the Knighthood and dug up the hatchet between himself and the Animation Icon, Bugs is fired up more than ever before. You heard his words earlier tonight; Daffy hasn’t changed ever since the two legends settled everything in that Ironman match in 1996! It was disheartening to hear Bugs threaten to break Daffy tonight. . .mainly because back in the old days, the two of them NEVER resented each other in the way they do now. Tonight marks a new beginning in their storied rivalry. . .and it could also mark the start of Hotsuma’s reign of tyranny. . .and if he’s not careful with his knee. . .the end of Tai Kamiya’s career.”

Tai then stood in the corner opposite Hotsuma, as Carl Brutanandilewski came to stand in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

" **Ladies and gentlemen. . .the following contest. . .is scheduled for one fall. . .it is your main event for the evening. . .and it is for. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship!"**

The crowd cheered with excitement as Hotsuma stared down Tai with a stoic look on his face.

“Introducing first. . .the challenger. Representing the Knighthood of Assassins. . .accompanied to the ring by ‘The Knighthood Strategist’ Daffy Duck. . .from Tokyo, Japan. . .he is ‘The Knighthood Leader’. . .HOTSUMA!!!”

Hotsuma didn’t react, rather he kept the same stoic, emotionless glare as the crowd erupted into boos.

"And his opponent. . .from Odaiba, Japan. . .accompanied to the ring by ‘The Animation Icon’ Bugs Bunny. . .he is ‘The Crestbearer of Courage’, and the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .TAI KAMIYA!"

The crowd erupted into cheers as Tai continued to stare down Hotsuma until the referee raised the World title belt above his head. . .then signaled for the bell to ring. . .

. . .and the match officially began with Tai and Hotsuma charging toward each other, and the two met in the center of the ring. . .with Hotsuma IMMEDIATELY kicking Tai in his injured knee!!!

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand reality sets in. . .” Shake said, as Tai crumbled to the mat, clenching his knee in pain until Hotsuma started pummeling him with kicks to his sternum!!! Hotsuma then pulled Tai up to his feet by the hair and slugged him in the chest with a throat thrust before Irish whipping him HARD into a nearby corner. Tai winced in pain from the impact until Hotsuma sprinted toward him and hammered away at Tai’s chest with vicious shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust that caused Tai to fall into a seated position in the corner. . .but Hotsuma followed that up with a series of BRUTAL mudhole stomps and kicks all over Tai’s body!!! The Knighthood Leader then pulled Tai into the center of the ring before going for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!! Hotsuma rose up from the cover before gripping the foot of Tai’s injured leg. . .lifting it up. . .and SLAMMING IT back onto the mat with a knee smash!!! Tai rolled around the mat wailing in pain holding his knee until Hotsuma went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!!

Hotsuma pulled Tai up by the hair again. . .only for Tai to stop him in his tracks with a swift chop to the chest!!! Hotsuma winced in pain as Tai continued to hit Hotsuma with chop after chop until he was driven into a corner. Tai then Irish whipped Hotsuma across the ring into another corner and ran (albeit gingerly) after him, successfully landing a corner clothesline into the Knighthood leader! Hotsuma fell onto the mat before Tai lifted him up to his feet and lifted him up, then took him back down with a scoop slam! Tai went for the cover 1. . .Hotsuma powered out!!!

“Tai’s knee is keeping him from using more than just aerial attacks. . .that corner clothesline didn’t do as much damage as it should have!” Frylock informed, as Tai pulled Hotsuma up to a standing position and slapped him with three more chops before whipping him back down to the mat with a hip toss! But Tai kept his grip on Hotsuma’s head as he drove himself up. . .and took Hotsuma back down with a side headlock takedown!!! Tai wrenched on Hotsuma’s neck and head for a bit before rising up to his feet. . .

. . .and landed a leg drop across Hotsuma’s body with his good leg!!! Tai went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Hotsuma kicked out!!! Tai pulled Hotsuma up to a standing position. . .

 

. . .and Hotsuma SHOVED Tai, sending the Crestbearer of Courage reeling against the ropes behind him! Tai bounced back toward the Knighthood Leader. . .

. . .who knocked him down with a European uppercut!!! Hotsuma then gripped both of Tai’s legs. . .and flapjacked him into a corner face-first!!! Tai stumbled and limped back into the center of the ring in a daze from the impact. . .and right into a Full Nelson Slam from Hotsuma!!! The Knighthood Leader then stood up. . .came back over to Tai’s injured leg. . .

. . .AND GARVIN STOMPED ON THE INJURED KNEE!!!! Tai wailed with agonizing pain as Hotsuma fell onto Tai, hooking BOTH legs for the cover 1. . .2. . .Tai kicked out!!!

“The pain must be EXCRUIATING, but the Crestbearer of Courage played through the pain all month, and he’s not about to start now with his World Heavyweight Championship, and a month’s rest on the line!” Frylock declared as Hotsuma rolled off from the cover, pondering his next move while Bugs slapped his hand on the ring apron shouting, “LET’S GO, TAI!!! YOU GOT THIS!!! LET ‘IM HAVE IT, DOC!”

“Bugs is doing what he can to root Tai on. . .but his leg is TOO easy for Hotsuma to pick apart!” Shake said. “What will Hotsuma do next?”

Hotsuma then rose up to his feet, taking Tai up with him by the hair and Irish whipped him into a corner before running toward him for a high knee. . .only for Tai to leap out of the corner and kicked Hotsuma in the face with his good leg!!! Hotsuma reeled around until his back faced the Crestbearer of Courage. . .who gripped onto Hotsuma’s sides and dropped him with a back suplex! Tai then used the ropes to pull himself up to a standing position as Hotsuma rolled up to his knees. . .

. . .AND CLOTHESLINED TAI OVER THE ROPES, SENDING HIM DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!!!

“And NOW it’s about to get even MORE dangerous for the World Heavyweight Champion. . .” Frylock foreboded, as Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes and stepped onto the ringside floor, prompting the referee to begin the ten count!

“He better get back inside the ring QUICK before Hotsuma does anymore significant damage to that injured knee!” shouted Shake, as the Knighthood Leader pulled Tai up to a standing position and slapped him across the face with a FURIOUS chop!!! Tai screamed in agonizing pain as he sold his chest in pain. . .until Hotsuma Irish whipped him toward the steel steps. . .

 

. . .or, he WOULD have, if Tai didn’t counter it with an Irish whip of his own, sending HOTSUMA to collide into the steel steps with a sickening thud that sent the steel steps FLYING against the barricade!!! Hotsuma cringed in pain as Tai stepped toward the Knighthood Leader and pulled him up to his feet. . .only for Hotsuma to surprise Tai with an angry punch to the face!!! The referee’s count reached five by this point.

“Just like that, Hotsuma has regained control. . .” Frylock said, as Daffy shouted, “YEAH!! DO IT, HOTSUMA!!! KNOCK ‘IM DEAD!!!”

“And Daffy can’t get enough of it!” Shake observed, as Bugs sneered at his adversary from across the ring under Tai’s corner.

“Bugs wishes he could do something about it. . .” Frylock added, as Tai tried to rebound with another right hand. . .

. . .only for Hotsuma to grip on Tai’s wrist and Irish whip him into the steel pole face first!!! Tai shrieked upon impact. . .until Hotsuma gripped him by the back of his head. . .and RAMMED Tai’s head into the ring pole over. . .

. . .

. . .and OVER. . .

. . .

. . .AND OVER. . .

. . .

. . .AND OVER. . .until he FINALLY let go of Tai’s hair, letting him fall to his knees. . .and reveal that he had been busted WIDE open!!!

“DEAR LORD!!! Now the champion is bleeding from his head!” Frylock exclaimed, as the referee’s count reached eight!

“If Hotsuma wants to kill Tai, he better do it quickly before he gets himself counted out!!” Shake quipped. . .as Hotsuma slid Tai back into the ring, and the Knighthood Leader followed in behind him, climbing over all three ropes, breaking the ten-count at nine. . .

. . .only for Hotsuma to exit the ring AGAIN, starting another ten count while he reached into the ring from the ringside floor and grabbed. . .Tai’s injured leg?

“Oh no. . .NOW what’s going through the mind of the Knighthood leader?” Frylock wondered, as Hotsuma pulled Tai’s leg so that it stuck out of the ring from under the bottom rope. . . .

. . .

. . .

. . .before SMASHING TAI’S KNEE AGAINST THE RING POST!!!! TAI SCREAMED IN AGONIZING PAIN WHILE BUGS LOOKED ON, HORRIFIED!!!

“GOOD GRIEF!!!” cringed Frylock. “HOTSUMA IS JUST SHATTERING TAI’S KNEE AGAINST THE UNFORGIVING STEEL OF THE RING POST!!!”

“HOTSUMA IS RELENTLESS, FRYLOCK!!! IF TAI’S KNEE WASN’T WRECKED BEFORE, IT’S GOTTA BE NOW!!!” Shake exclaimed as Hotsuma CRUSHED Tai’s knee against the ring post again. . .

. . .and again. . .

. . .and AGAIN. . .

. . .AND AGAIN. . .

. . .AND AGAIN. . .

. . .AND AGAIN. . .

. . .AND ONCE MORE UNTIL HE FINALLY RE-ENTERED THE RING AS THE REFEREE’S COUNT REACHED NINE!!!

“And sure enough, the only time he STOPS is to keep HIMSELF from getting counted out!!” Shake added. “This has GOTTA be over. . .”

Tai clenched his knee in unbearable pain as Hotsuma rolled him onto his back and went for a cover 1. . .2. . .TAI KICKED OUT!!!

“HOW THE FUCK DID TAI KAMIYA KICK OUT???” Shake shouted, as the Knighthood Leader shot up from the cover, glaring down at Tai in disbelief!!!

“He NEVER knows when to quit, Shake. . .hell, the very definition of quit isn’t in his dictionary!” Frylock replied. “But Hotsuma did not like that AT ALL. . .”

Hotsuma then slid toward his legs. . .

. . .gripped his injured knee. . .

. . .AND LOCKED TAI IN A KNEEBAR!!!

“Oh no. . .” Shake foreboded. “Now the World Heavyweight Champion literally has NOWHERE TO GO. . .just tap out, kid!!! You had a good run while it lasted!”

Tai yelled in agonizing pain as Hotsuma intensified the hold to massive boos from the crowd!!! Tai wailed as the referee knelt next to him and asked if he wanted to quit. The Crestbearer of Courage violently shook his head no as he struggled to pull himself toward the ropes!

"WITH SO MUCH ON THE LINE, TAI CAN’T GIVE UP!” Frylock exclaimed. “YOU CAN DO IT, TAI!!! GET TO THE ROPES!!!”

Tai wormed closer toward the ropes, pulling Hotsuma with him as he kept the kneebar locked in. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .extended his arm out. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .ONLY FOR DAFFY TO PULL THE BOTTOM ROPE OUT OF TAI’S REACH!!!

“NOOOOO!!!!” interjected Frylock. “THAT DAMN DAFFY DUCK IS SCREWING TAI!!!”

Hotsuma crawled back toward the center of the ring, pulling the XCW World Heavyweight Champion AWAY from the ropes!!! The tears and sweat were POURING down Tai’s face as he thrashed and pulled himself forward trying to break out of the hold, but to no avail!!!

“Well, THIS is it, Frylock. . .” Shake said in a solemn tone. “The Knighthood has officially claimed ALL but one of our titles. . .their takeover is NIGH. . .”

Tai kept his hand hovered above the mat, barely able to withstand the pain any longer, while Hotsuma only pulled TIGHTER on Tai’s injured leg. . .until. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .the referee was pulled out of the ring????

“Wait a minute. . .what just happened???” Shake wondered. . .

. . .as BUGS BUNNY ENTERED THE RING FROM OVER THE SECOND ROPE AND BASEBALL SLID INTO HOTSUMA, BREAKING THE HOLD!!!

“BUGS WAS JUST AN ALL-OUT STINKER TO THE KNIGHTHOOD, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!!!” Frylock shouted, as Tai rolled over to a nearby corner, catching a breather while Bugs rose to his feet. . .

. . .AND HOTSUMA GLARED UP AT HIM THROUGH HIS VISOR WITH THE MOST MALICIOUS OF LOOKS!!!!

“And Hotsuma looks intent on BUTCHERING the Animation Icon!!!” Shake added, as Bugs and Hotsuma became engaged in a tie-up, and the Knighthood Leader shoved Bugs toward the ropes. . .

 

. . .but Bugs hit Hotsuma with a knee to the gut, then threw him down to the ringside floor above the second rope!!! Hotsuma rolled against the barricade, wincing from the impact. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL BUGS LEAPT OFF THE RING APRON AND LANDED A MISSILE DROPKICK ONTO HOTSUMA!!! BOTH MEN WERE DOWN ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR AS THE CROWD BEGAN TO CHANT, “THANK YOU BUGS!!! THANK YOU BUGS!!!”

“He couldn’t stand to watch Hotsuma rip Tai’s knee out of its socket. . .so he took matters into his own hands!” Frylock declared, as Bugs slowly rolled up to his feet from the impact and started to pull Hotsuma up to a standing position. . .

. . .but the Knighthood Leader sent Bugs reeling with a VICIOUS right hand right between Bugs’ eyes!!! The Animation Icon reeled backward before running toward Hotsuma. . .

. . .only for Hotsuma to take him down to the concrete floor with a drop toe hold, sending Bugs to collide into it face first!!! Bugs rolled onto his back, rubbing his hand against his face to check for blood, but saw nothing. . .

. . .until Hotsuma pulled Bugs up by the ears. . .

. . .and DROPPED HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO THE BARRICADE!!!!

“GOOD GOD!!!” Shake cringed. “Bugs is getting MANHANDLED BY THE KNIGHTHOOD LEADER!!!”

“Bugs knows a thing or two about fighting Hotsuma, Shake, and he’s as tough as they come. . .” Frylock informed, as Bugs’ head bounced off the barricade HARD before Hotsuma got a grip of his ears. . .pulled him back up. . .

. . .then lifted Bugs for a belly-to-belly side slam. . .

. . .BUT NOT BEFORE BUGS HEADBUTTED HOTSUMA RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES, BREAKING HIM OUT OF HIS GRASP!!! As Hotsuma turned around selling his head from the impact, Bugs hooked Hotsuma’s arms. . .

. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH A RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR!!! Bugs hurriedly reached under the ring apron for a weapon. . .

. . .UNTIL HOTSUMA PULLED BUGS OUT OF IT BY HIS FOOT!!! The Knighthood Leader then turned Bugs onto his back by his foot and knelt down to grab him by the throat and choke him. . .

. . .ONLY FOR BUGS TO NAIL HIM IN THE TEMPLE WITH A MALLET!!!!

“Bugs’s trusty mallet is coming in REAL handy in this brawl against the Knighthood!” Frylock declared, as Hotsuma rubbed his cheek and saw no blood, but felt that the left end of his visor was loose. Meanwhile, Bugs rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up to a standing position. . .

. . .and got into a staredown with Daffy Duck. . .

. . .who had a steel chair in hand. . .

. . .while Bugs raised the mallet in his!!!

“WE ARE AT THE STANDOFF OF STANDOFFS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!” Frylock declared, as the two longtime rivals charged toward each other. . .

. . .swung their weapons. . .

. . .AND BOTH OF THEM COLLIDED INTO EACH OTHER, KNOCKING THEM OUT OF THEIR HANDS!!! Bugs and Daffy then glared up at each other. . .

. . .

. . .before running toward each other. . .

. . .

. . .AND GETTING INTO A BRAWL ON THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!!!

“BUGS AND DAFFY ARE OFFICIALLY FIGHTING!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly. “Their first shots at each other in almost twenty years have been fired here in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!”

“I NEVER THOUGHT I’D LIVE TO SEE THIS!!!” Shake yelled, as Bugs hit Daffy with a swift right hand. . .

. . .only for Daffy to surprise his rival with a surprise left hand, knocking Bugs toward the barricade!!! Daffy then grabbed Bugs by the arm and took him down with an armbreaker before striding away from the Animation Icon. . .

. . .AND RIPPING OFF THE TOP OF FRYLOCK AND SHAKE’S ANNOUNCER’S TABLE!!!

“WAIT A MINUTE. . .” Shake foreboded, as Daffy pulled out all the TV monitors and electrical cables he could find in the table! Meanwhile, Bugs tried to push himself up to his knees. . .

. . .ONLY FOR HOTSUMA TO TAKE BUGS DOWN WITH A SIDE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!! Back by the table, the Knighthood Strategist then turned his attention back to Bugs. . .who had his ears grabbed from behind by Hotsuma, who was pushing him toward the table!!!

“Somehow, I expected not to like the fighting strategy of the Knighthood Strategist. . .” Shake deadpanned, as Hotsuma kneed Bugs in the gut before dropping him with a gutbuster in front of the announcer’s table!!! But Hotsuma then pulled the Animation Icon up by the ears. . .tossed him into the grip of Daffy Duck. . .

. . .who dropped him onto the concrete floor with a reverse DDT!!!

“GOOD GOD!!!” Frylock cringed. “This is uncomfortable. . .both Hotsuma AND his assistant, Daffy, are just MANHANDLING the Animation Icon. . .”

Daffy then pulled Bugs up to his feet and asked Hotsuma a question, inaudible to the audience. . . . .and Hotsuma responded. . .

. . .with a slow nod of consent. . .

“And this is all BEFORE the SLAUGHTER. . .” Shake foreboded, as Hotsuma stepped back against the ring apron, while Daffy looked into the eyes of the Animation Icon, and whispered. . .

“. . . . . .you’re DESTHPICABLE. . .”

. . .

. . .

“No. . .oh my God, don’t DO it, Daffy!!!” Frylock implored.

“YEAH, MAN!!!” Shake added. “NOT IN FRONT OF US!!!”

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .before lifting Bugs up. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND DRIVING BUGS THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE WITH THE DUCK AMUCK!!!!

BUGS LAID IN THE WRECKAGE OF THE TABLE IN A CRUMBLED HEAP WHILE DAFFY LAUGHED IN TRIUMPH AS THE FANS REACTED WITH A CHORUS OF BOOS!!!!

“OH MY GOOOOOD!!!!” Frylock yelled. “THE ANIMATION ICON, BUGS BUNNY, HAS BEEN DRIVEN RIGHT THROUGH OUR ANNOUNCE TABLE BY HIS FORMER FRIEND AND NOW ENEMY. . .DAFFY DUCK!!!”

“And the fans AREN’T happy. . .” Shake added, as Hotsuma nodded in satisfaction before stepping up the steel steps and onto the ring apron.

“Even with their Code of Combat, the Knighthood of Assassins have decimated Tai Kamiya and NOW Bugs Bunny in this World Heavyweight Championship matchup. . .” Frylock informed. “And now Hotsuma has some unfinished business. . .”

Hotsuma then climbed over all three ropes before stepping back into the ring. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .AND GETTING A MISSILE DROPKICK FROM TAI KAMIYA WITH HIS GOOD LEG!!!

“BUT TAI HAS SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS WITH HOTSUMA!!!” Shake screamed, as Tai slowly but surely staggered up to his feet. . .and waited for Hotsuma to rise back up to his. . .before whacking him into a corner with a series of chops!!!

“I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!! TAI IS FIGHTING BACK!!!” Frylock called, as the crowd began to cheer! “Somehow, in some way, Tai Kamiya is FIGHTING BACK!!!”

Hotsuma went for a right hand to Tai’s temple, only for Tai to duck underneath Hotsuma’s punch. . .then slug him with an uppercut, sending Hotsuma down to a seated position in the corner. But Tai noticed that Hotsuma’s four-eyed visor had been knocked loose on the left side. . .and was quick to pull Hotsuma up and turn him so his face was resting on the top turnbuckle!

“Wait a minute. . .NOW what’s Tai Kamiya got up his sleeve?” Shake wondered, as Tai gripped the back of Hotsuma’s head. . .

. . .raised it out of the corner. . .

. . .AND DROVE HOTSUMA’S FACE INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!!

“Thanks to Bugs Bunny, Tai got the breather that he DESPERATELY needed, and now the Crestbearer of Courage has got Hotsuma right where he wants him!” Frylock called with excitement, as Tai pulled Hotsuma out of the corner. . .before ramming his face into the top turnbuckle again, as the crowd began to count along!! Tai drove Hotsuma’s face into the corner for a THIRD time. . .

. . .then a FOURTH. . .

. . .and a FIFTH. . .

. . .SIXTH. . .

. . .SEVENTH. . .

. . .EIGHTH. . .

. . .THEN A NINTH. . .

. . .AND THE TENTH ONE, WHICH FINALLY KNOCKED HOTSUMA’S VISOR OFF HIS FACE!!! As the referee slowly but surely staggered back into the ring, Tai turned a now dazed Hotsuma around to look RIGHT into his eyes!!!

“What the HELL???” Shake shouted. “HE AIN’T DISFIGURED??? THEN WHY THE FUCK DOES HE WEAR THAT THING, THEN???”

“I have no earthly idea, Shake. . .” Frylock deadpanned, as Tai backed up to the center of the ring. . .

. . .

. . .hit Hotsuma in the face with a HARD high knee on his good leg. . .

. . .

. . .AND THEN PULLED HIM OUT OF THE CORNER WITH A BULLDOG ONTO THE MAT!!!

“. . .but after that maneuver from the World Heavyweight Champion, he’s gonna need a little something, while Tai needs to go for the cover!!!” Frylock added, before Tai turned Hotsuma onto his back and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

  1. . .



. . .HOTSUMA KICKED OUT!!!

“NOOOO!!! HOTSUMA GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!” Frylock called, as Tai rolled off from the cover, pondering his next move. “What’s Tai gonna do next?”

“A better question is. . .what CAN he do next without using his bad leg?” Shake wondered, as Tai and jumped up a bit, extending his arms out at his sides upon landing, and screamed, “I AM DESTINED!!!” at the top of his lungs to cheers from the crowd!!!

 

“Yeah, we were hoping for a MOVE, champ. . .” Shake quipped, as Tai waited for Hotsuma to rise up to his knees, before applying pressure on his good leg before leaping up. . .

 

. . .and sending Hotsuma FLYING toward the ropes with a Frankensteiner!!! Hotsuma caught the ropes upon making impact and pulled himself up to a standing position while Tai gently stepped toward a corner. . .

 

. . .AND CLIMBED UP TO THE TOP ROPE!!!

 

“No way. . .” Shake dismissed. “How the hell is Tai Kamiya DOING this right now???”

  
“He’s leading with his GOOD leg. . .along with his drive and determination to WIN, Shake!!!” Frylock replied as Hotsuma charged toward Tai. . .

 

. . .who leapt off the top rope. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .spun around Hotsuma’s body. . .

 

 

. . .AND DROVE HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A JUMPING TORNADO DDT!!!

 

“A JUMPING TORNADO DDT CONNECTS!!!” Frylock called, as the crowd erupted into cheers with the impact!!! Tai then pushed the Knighthood Leader onto his back before going for another cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .HOTSUMA KICKED OUT!!!! TAI COULDN’T BELIEVE IT!!!

 

“OH MY GOD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT???” Frylock wondered, as Tai rolled off the cover, slowly but surely pushing himself up to his knees.

  
“Tai Kamiya is FINALLY in the driver’s seat of this match, but for how long??? Until his knee gives out???” Shake wondered, as Tai pulled himself up to a standing position, while Hotsuma staggered up to his feet, selling his head from all the pain.

 

“That visor must have been a precautionary measure for the Knighthood Leader, because right now, Hotsuma is absolutely REELING!” Frylock observed. “He may not know where he is right now!”

 

Hotsuma finally shook his head back into reality. . .

 

. . .only for Tai to take Hotsuma down with a swinging neckbreaker!!! Tai then stood in front of the Knighthood Leader, practically ordering him to get up. . .

 

. . .until Hotsuma rose to his feet. . .

 

. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX PIN ATTEMPT FROM TAI!!! The referee made the count 1. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .HOTSUMA KICKED OUT!!! Tai rolled off the cover and pulled himself up with the ropes before running toward Hotsuma for a jumping clothesline. . .

 

. . .BUT THE KNIGHTHOOD LEADER CAUGHT TAI BEFORE HE COULD MAKE IMPACT!!! Hotsuma then transitioned Tai into a headlock. . .

 

. . .before lifting him up. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPING HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH AN INVERTED HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER!!!! Both men were down in the center of the ring struggling toward opposite sides of the ring as the referee began the ten count!!!

 

“HOTSUMA IS DOWN!!! THE CHAMPION IS DOWN!!! WHO’S GONNA GET TO THEIR FEET FIRST??? WHO IS GONNA GAIN THE UPPER HAND, AND WALK OUT OF KING’S LANDING AND SILVER LINING AS THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION???” Frylock screamed, as Tai pulled himself up with the ropes on the left side of the ring facing the ramp. . .while Hotsuma pulled himself up with the ropes on the right side of the ring, as the crowd erupted into chants of, “LET’S GO TAI!!! LET’S GO TAI!!!”

 

“Tai’s came battling back remarkably since the beginning of this match!” Shake said. “But will he be able to keep Hotsuma from doing any more damage to his injured leg???”

 

Tai and Hotsuma met in the center of the ring as Hotsuma slugged Tai in the face with a right hand, with the crowd yelling, "BOO!" in unison with it. Tai reeled for a bit, but regained his composure and fired back with a right hand of his own, with the crowd chanting "YAY!" in unison with it! Tai and Hotsuma kept firing back with punch after punch until Tai caught Hotsuma off-guard with a chop instead! Tai continued hitting Hotsuma with chop after chop until Hotsuma was backed up against the ropes. Tai then Irish whipped Hotsuma across the ring. . .knelt down while Hotsuma bounced back. . .

 

. . .THEN POPPED UP AND TOOK HOTSUMA DOWN WITH A KNEELING REVERSE PILEDRIVER!!!! Tai then pushed himself up with his good leg with all the strength he had while Hotsuma got back up to his feet. . .but Tai gripped the Knighthood Leader’s arm and Irish whipped him against the ropes behind him! Hotsuma bounced back. . .

 

. . .and Tai lifted him up. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BEFORE SLAMMING HOTSUMA DOWN WITH AN ALABAMA SLAM!!! Tai fell onto Hotsuma for the cover!!! 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

. . .2.5 HOTSUMA KICKED OUT!!!! Tai rolled off from the cover, selling his knee in pain!!!

 

“NOOOOOOO!!! HOTSUMA JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!” Frylock said. “And now that injured leg is getting back to the Crestbearer of Courage!”

 

“He applied pressure on it when he hit that Alabama Slam. . .that’s gonna come back to haunt him!” Shake added as Tai rolled toward the ropes, trying to pull himself up while planting his left leg onto the ground and pushing up on it. Tai made it to his feet before stepping toward Hotsuma. . .

 

. . .WHO LIFTED HIM UP AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A TWISTING SAMOAN DROP!!!

 

“AND THE KNIGHTHOOD LEADER TAKES ADVANTAGE WITH THAT SICKENING SAMOAN DROP!!!” Frylock cried, as Hotsuma stared daggers at Tai while the crowd erupted into boos!!!

 

“Hotsuma has had just about enough of these people as he does about Tai!” Shake added. “What’s he gonna do here????”

 

Hotsuma then pulled Tai up to his feet by the hair and kicked him HARD in his injured leg, causing the Crestbearer of Courage to cringe in pain. Hotsuma then stomped on his foot before turning him around. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPING HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH THE INFERNO SLAM (Olympic Slam)!!!

 

“HOTSUMA CONNECTS WITH THE INFERNO SLAM!!!!” Frylock shouted. “WILL THAT BE ALL HE NEEDS????”

 

Hotsuma landed onto Tai and hooked his leg for the cover! 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

. . .2.5 TAI JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!! As the crowd EXPLODED with cheers of excitement, Hotsuma got up from the cover, looking around the ring absolutely BEWILDERED!!!

 

“NOOOO!!!! TAI STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!!! AND HOTSUMA IS BESIDE HIMSELF!!!” Frylock shouted unintelligibly as Hotsuma rose up to his feet and stepped into a corner, stalking the World Heavyweight Champion as he staggered up to one knee.

 

“And he’s about to go for the kill, Frylock!!!” Shake declared, as Hotsuma raised his right foot. . .

. . .and SLAMMED IT onto the mat once. . .

. . .

. . .twice. . .

. . .

. . .AND A THIRD TIME. . .

 

“. . .oh NO. . .if Hotsuma’s going for the punt kick that I think he’s going for, Tai’s knee won’t be the only thing hurting anymore. . .” Shake foreboded, as Hotsuma charged out of the corner. . .

 

. . .pulled his right leg back. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BUT WHIFFED ON THE ANSATSU KICK WHEN TAI ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY!!!! Tai pushed himself up to his feet, facing the back of the Knighthood Leader. . .gripping him in a waist-lock. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!!!

“THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION JUST DODGED CERTAIN DOOM!!!” Frylock cried. “AND NOW HE’S GOT HOTSUMA RIGHT WHERE HE WANTS HIM!!!”

“HE’S STILL USING HIS INJURED LEG, FRYLOCK!!!” observed Shake. “HE NEEDS TO BE CAREFUL!!!”

Tai had put some pressure on his injured knee, causing him to falter a bit. . .but the Crestbearer of Courage kept his grip on Hotsuma’s waist as he pulled him back up to his feet, pushing himself up with his good leg. . .and took him down with ANOTHER German Suplex! Tai continued gripping Hotsuma’s waist as he staggered back up to a standing position. . .lifted him up. . .and dropped him with a THIRD AND FINAL GERMAN SUPLEX!!!!

“Hotsuma is folded up like an accordion on the mat!!!” Frylock called, as Tai slowly but surely pushed himself up to a standing position with his good leg while Hotsuma struggled to push himself up to his feet. . .

 

. . .while Tai leaned forward on his left side!!!

 

“Tai’s leading with his GOOD SIDE. . .” Shake foreboded. “. . .he’s got something on his MIND. . .”

 

Hotsuma finally made it to a standing position. . .

 

. . .turned around to face Tai, putting a hand up. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .ONLY FOR TAI TO LIFT HOTSUMA ONTO HIS SHOULDERS IN A FIREMAN’S CARRY POSITION!!!!

 

“OH MY GOD!!!! TAI HAS HOTSUMA UP ON HIS INJURED KNEE!!!!” Frylock screamed, as the fans erupted into cheers of excitement!!! “WHAT STRENGTH!!! WHAT COURAGE---“

 

Tai STRAINED to keep Hotsuma up onto his shoulders. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .UNTIL HE DROPPED HOTSUMA WITH THE TAIBREAKER (Fireman’s Carry Neckbreaker)!!!!

 

“GOOD GOD WHAT A NECKBREAKER!!!!” Shake shouted. “When did Tai add THAT to his arsenal???”  


“He calls that the TAIBREAKER, Shake!” Frylock informed. “And given the ferocity of his opponent, he NEEDED to drop him with something stronger. . .NO MATTER THE RISK!!! And that risk. . .may come with a HIGH REWARD AS TAI GOES FOR THE COVER!!!”

 

Indeed, Tai fell on top of Hotsuma for the cover, barely hooking the leg before the referee made the count! 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

. . .2.75 HOTSUMA KICKED OUT!!!! Tai rolled off the cover, EXASPERATED as the crowd groaned at the result of the near-fall!!!

 

“How much more??? How much more pain….and how much more fighting can the World Heavyweight Champion take over the course of this match????” Frylock wondered.

 

“At some point, Tai’s gonna get up and his knee is just gonna SNAP!!!” Shake foreboded. “However he plans to end this, he better end it QUICK!”

 

Tai planted his left foot onto the mat after rolling onto his chest, and slowly staggered up to his knees. . .then winced in pain as he rose up, but wavered as he came to a full standing position. He watched Hotsuma get up to one knee. . .and KICKED HIM in the temple with his good leg before pulling him into a front face lock. . .

 

. . .lifting him HIGH ABOVE HIS HEAD. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND COLLAPSING UNDER HOTSUMA’S WEIGHT!!!! Tai clenched his injured leg in pain upon landing onto the mat!!!

 

“And THERE was the mistake. . .” Frylock called, as Hotsuma landed on his back. . .only to IMMEDIATELY sit up and rise to his feet.

 

“Uh-oh. . .the champion is down. . .and the Leader of the Knighthood is UP. . .how will Hotsuma take advantage???” Shake wondered, as Hotsuma pulled Tai up off the mat by his hair. . .before pressing the back of his foot against the back of Tai’s head. . .

 

. . .AND DRIVING TAI FACE-FIRST ONTO THE MAT WITH AN OVERDRIVE NECKBREAKER!!!!

 

“NOOOOOOOOO!!!! RIGHT INTO THE HEAD!!!!!” Frylock shouted, as Hotsuma lifted Tai up. . .and Irish whipped him HARD against the ropes on the other side of the ring. The Crestbearer of Courage limped back toward Hotsuma on the bounceback. . .

 

. . .BEFORE GETTING CAUGHT AND SLAMMED BACK DOWN WITH A SNAP SCOOP POWERSLAM!!!!

 

“GOOD LORD WHAT A POWERSLAM!!!! WAS IT ENOUGH FOR HOTSUMA TO WIN ANOTHER TITLE FOR THE KNIGHTHOOD?!?!” Frylock screamed, as Hotsuma lifted Tai’s injured leg up with FORCE, hooking it for the cover!!! 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

. . .2.75 TAI BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!!! While the crowd erupted with cheers, Hotsuma POUNDED the mat with his fist in absolute frustration!!!

 

“TAI KICKED OUT!!!! HOW IN THE HOLY HELL DID TAI KICK OUT????” Frylock exclaimed, as Hotsuma seethed with anger under his breath at the persistent Crestbearer of Courage.

  
“HOTSUMA IS ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS ABOUT IT!!! And that’s only gonna lead him back to targeting the Champion’s KNEE!!!” Shake foreboded, as Hotsuma lunged forward and GRABBED the injured leg of Tai. . .and turned around to start locking him into the Figure Four Leg Lock. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BUT TAI KICKED HOTSUMA AGAINST THE ROPES WITH A KICK TO HIS BEHIND!!! Hotsuma ran back toward the center of the ring after bouncing off the ropes while Tai rolled back up to his feet. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and caught Hotsuma in a Full Nelson lock. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM WITH A DRAGON SUPLEX!!! Hotsuma reeled up to his knees in a daze from the move. . .until Tai drove Hotsuma back-first into a nearby corner with a high knee from his good leg!!! Tai then hit Hotsuma in the chest with relentless chops from both his left AND right arms. . .

 

. . .before pulling Hotsuma onto the second rope?

 

“Wait a minute. . .NOW what the hell is Tai doing????” Frylock wondered.

  
“He can’t take Hotsuma all the way up there. . .NOT ON THAT LEG!!!!” Shake foreboded, as Tai stayed on the mat. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .put Hotsuma in a headlock. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND LIFTED HIM HIGH ABOVE HIS HEAD!!!!  


“THE CRESTBEARER OF COURAGE USED THE CORNER FOR LEVERAGE!!!” Frylock yelled!!! “HOTSUMA HAS NOWHERE TO GO BUT DOWN…..”

 

Tai held him up for a BIT longer. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BEFORE PLANTING THE KNIGHTHOOD LEADER ON HIS HEAD WITH THE BRAINBUSTER!!!!

 

“THE BRAINBUSTER CONNECTS!!!” Frylock screamed. “TAI PLANTED HOTSUMA’S EXPOSED HEAD ONTO THE MAT WITH HIS BRAINBUSTER!!!”

 

“THAT’S IT!!! IT’S ALL OVER!!!” Shake exclaimed! “THIS IS ONE TITLE THE KNIGHTHOOD AIN’T GONNA GET….”

 

Tai rolled on top of Hotsuma for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . .

 

“. . .BECAUSE TAI KAMIYA. . .”

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

“. . .BAD LEG AND ALL. . .”

 

. . .

 

. . .2.99999999999999 DAFFY PULLED THE REFEREE OUT!!!!

 

“. . .IS STILL A FIGHTING----NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Shake screamed, as Tai stood up from the cover, realizing something was amiss. The Crestbearer of Courage stepped toward the ring apron. . .

 

. . .and saw DAFFY slugging the referee in the face with a right hand. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM ON HIS FACE WITH THE KILLSWITCH!!!!

 

“YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!! THE KILLSWITCH CONNECTS!!! AND NOW THERE’S NO ORDER IN THIS MATCHUP!!!” Frylock screamed, as Tai saw Daffy going for the ring bell!!!

 

“The Knighthood Strategist is looking to attack the World Heavyweight Champion with his own championship!” Frylock said, as Daffy charged toward the ring apron. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .that is, he WOULD HAVE. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .IF BUGS BUNNY DIDN’T DRIVE HIM AGAINST THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER’S TABLE AND PUMMEL HIS RIBCAGE WITH FURIOUS RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS!!!!

 

“WHAT??!!?” Shake screamed. “BUGS IS BACK UP!!! HE’S BACK UP!!!!” AND NOW HE’S KEEPING THE KNIGHTHOOD STRATEGIST AT BAY!!!!”

 

“GET ‘IM, BUGS!!!! MAKE HIM PAY FOR BETRAYING YOUR TRUST!!!” cheered Frylock, as Bugs kicked Daffy in the midsection. . .

 

. . .lifted Daffy up for a Bunny Bomb. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .BUT DAFFY SLID OUT OF BUGS’S GRIP, AND LANDED RIGHT BEHIND HIM!!!

 

“THESE TWO LEGENDS ARE ABSOLUTELY RELENTLESS!!!!” Frylock observed. “What could POSSIBLY stop them????”

 

The two continued brawling on top of the wreckage of Shake and Frylock’s table. . .

 

. . .while Tai turned back around to face Hotsuma. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .WHO HAD GOTTEN TO HIS FEET AND SENT TAI FLYING ACROSS THE RING WITH AN EXPLODER SUPLEX!!!!!

 

“NOOOOO!!! THE DISTRACTION GAVE HOTSUMA THE OPENING!!!” Frylock cried, as Tai rolled under the bottom rope and onto the ring apron, keeping a grip on his injured leg, which Hotsuma hooked before hitting the Exploder Suplex. Tai used the ropes to pull himself up to a standing position on the ring apron. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .UNTIL HOTSUMA KICKED TAI HARD IN THE INJURED KNEECAP!!! Tai was clenching his knee from the impact. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .until Hotsuma pulled him up by the hair. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .put him in a headlock. . .

 

. . .

. . .AND PULLED HIM FORWARD UNTIL HIS FEET WERE BARELY HANGING ON THE TOP ROPE!!!!

“OH NO. . .OH NO. . .Tai can see the end of the world from there. . .” Shake foreboded, as Hotsuma shouted, “YOUR REIGN…………….ENDS HERE……….”

. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE PLANTING TAI HARD ON THE MAT WITH A ROPE-HUNG DDT!

“AND HOTSUMA CAN SEE GOLD IN HIS FUTURE AFTER THAT DDT!!!!” Frylock added, while Daffy threw the referee back into the ring under the bottom rope as Hotsuma drug Tai back into the center of the ring and went for a cover!!!! 1. . .

“THE KNIGHTHOOD’S CONQUEST. . .”

. . .

  1. . .



“. . .TO RULE THIS COMPANY. . .”

. . .

. . .2.99999999999999 BUGS BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT WITH THE ACME ELBOW DROP!!!!!

“. . .HAS REACHED IT’S---NOOOO!!!! BUGS MADE THE SAVE WITH THE ACME ELBOW DROP!!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly. "THE ANIMATION ICON BOUGHT TIME TO STOP HOTSUMA FROM VICTORY!!!”

“A win for the Knighthood is a win for DAFFY. . .and Bugs won’t stand for it!!!” Shake added, as the referee fell onto his face, still too groggy to officiate!

“The referee is too groggy to be able to comprehend what’s going on!!!” Frylock shouted, as Bugs stared down Hotsuma from across the ring. . .

. . .before CHARGING toward him for a Karate Kick. . .

. . .

. . .BUT HOTSUMA DUCKED UNDER IT, RUNNING AGAINST THE ROPES BEHIND THE ANIMATION ICON!!!! Bugs turned around to face Hotsuma. . .and CAUGHT HIM WITH A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION!!! Bugs then set the Knighthood Leader up for a powerbomb. . .

. . .

. . .and lifted him up. . .

. . .

. . .but Hotsuma nailed Bugs in the face with a furious right hand to the temple, breaking his hold and allowing him to slip out of it behind him!

“Bugs Bunny went for his trademark Bunny Bomb, but Hotsuma fought out of it in true Knighthood fashion!!!” Frylock said. “And now, you have to wonder exactly what is Bugs’s next move…”

Bugs turned around to face Hotsuma’s back. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL HOTSUMA DROVE HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH AN AKUJIKI!!!

“NOOOOOOOO!!! THE AKUJIKI FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!!!” Frylock shouted, as Bugs rolled out of the ring, selling his head. “AND TAI’S SUPPORT IS INCAPACITATED!!!”

The referee slowly but surely staggered back up to his feet in the background while Hotsuma stared down Bugs with the most malicious of glares. . .

. . .before turning his attention back to Tai. . .

. . .

. . .WHO ROLLED HIM UP FOR A SMALL PACKAGE!!!!

“Wait a minute. . .TAI’S GOT HIM IN A ROLLUP!!!” Frylock shouted, as the referee made the count!!!! 1. . .

. . .

“. . .CAN HE HOLD ON???”

  1. . .



“WILL HE HOLD ON???”

. . .

. . .3!!!!!

“HE DID IT!!! HE DID IT!!!!” Frylock screamed!

“WHAT????” was all Shake could say! “WHAT??!!”

“TAI GOT THE VICTORY!!!! TAI IS STILL THE CHAMPION!!!! AND TAI GETS HIS MONTH-LONG BREAK!!!!” Frylock continued to shout, as the roof came close to EXPLODING off of its hinges with the crowd’s cheers, completely drowning out the sound of the bell ringing!!!

“HOTSUMA IS BESIDE HIMSELF!!!!” Shake observed, as Hotsuma had shot up to his knees, staring at Tai with a flabbergasted look.

**“The winner of this match. . .AND STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOOOORLD. . .’The Crestbearer of Courage’. . .TAI KAMIIIIIIIIIIYA!!!!!!!”**

“This sellout crowd has erupted, Shake, and deservedly so!!!” Frylock said. “Tai Kamiya had one hell of a rough going when the match began, but Bugs Bunny had enough of Hotsuma’s torturous tactics, and took matters into his own hands! Then Daffy fired the first shot at his longtime rival in XCW by driving him through our table. . .but Bugs’s involvement gave the Crestbearer of Courage enough time to recover and even the playing field! Both men got their shots in on each other, but that desperation rollup was the break that Tai needed to EARN himself a break. . .and retain the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!”

The referee handed Tai his World Heavyweight Championship belt, and was about to raise his hand in victory. . .until Bugs stepped into the ring, selling his head in pain and came to Tai’s side. . .

. . .but before he could do it himself, Tai grabbed BUGS by the wrist, and emphatically raised his arm above his head, while raising the World Heavyweight title up with his other hand to MORE cheers from the crowd!

“Tai wanted Bugs Bunny in his corner for a reason, Frylock. . .he knew everything about Hotsuma’s destructive fighting style, and Daffy’s reputation for mischief. . .and he gave the necessary defense Tai needed to win this bout and leave King’s Landing STILL as the World Heavyweight Champion!” Shake added. “But now what’s Tai gonna do on his break? Will his leg be fully healed by the time he returns??? Will he take the XCW World Heavyweight title with him?”

Bugs and Tai lowered their arms and began to converse in the center of the ring. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL HOTSUMA BLINDSIDED TAI WITH AN AKUJIKI!!!!

“NOW WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd’s massive cheers turned into boos!!! “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?”

“HOTSUMA IS UP, AND HE IS MAAAAAAAD, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake declared, as Tai was down on the mat, almost knocked out COLD as the World Heavyweight title belt lay prone on the mat!!! “HE’S NOT ABOUT TO LET TAI GET AWAY AFTER THAT LUCKY BREAK!!!”

In response, Bugs swung a punch toward Hotsuma’s temple. . .

. . .

. . .but DAFFY caught it before it could strike his leader! The Knighthood Strategist then nailed Bugs with a knee to the gut. . .

. . .

. . .before turning him around. . .

. . .

. . .AND PLANTING HIM WITH THE KILLSWITCH ONTO THE TITLE BELT!!!

“AND NOW DAFFY WITH AN ATTACK OF HIS OWN!!! DAMMIT!!! Even after winning the Hardcore title and the Tag Team titles tonight, the Knighthood STILL couldn’t take a loss!” Frylock shouted with disgust, as Hotsuma and Daffy stared down at Tai and Bugs with malicious glares.

“Hotsuma thought that Tai got a lucky break winning with that rollup. . .” Shake assumed. “. . .but if that indicated ANYTHING, it’s that the Knighthood of Assassins will have their crosshairs set on Bugs Bunny while they’re foaming at the mouth for Tai Kamiya to return. . .because there’s only one more thing they want, and that’s the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!!!”

Hotsuma and Daffy continued to stare down a prone Tai and Bugs as Silver Lining went off the air!

Results

Solid Snake (c) defeated Rolf in a Hardcore match to retain the XCW Hardcore Championship  
The Wild Dudes (Mordecai and Rigby) defeated D-Generation Ed  
Arthur Read (c) defeated Edd to retain the XCW World Television Championship  
Sora Takenouchi (c) defeated Yuna to retain the XCW Women’s Championship  
Scorpion and Sub-Zero defeated The South Park Four (Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman) to become the new XCW Tag Team Champions  
Tommy Vercetti defeated The Mask, Claude Speed, Sweet Tooth, Mario, Arthur Read Kenny McCormick, and Spongebob Squarepants in the Silver Lining Ladder match to win the 2012 Silver Lining briefcase  
Tai Kamiya (w/Bugs Bunny)(c) defeated Hotsuma (w/Daffy Duck) to retain the XCW World Heavyweight Championship

**And like that. . .**

**. . .*POOF*. . .**

**. . .IT’S DONE!!! XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING….IS!!! GOING!!! TO THE FWAS THIS YEAR!!!! I honestly didn’t think it would happen just a week ago, but buckling down on this chapter when I had the free time was JUST what I needed. I couldn’t thank all you guys enough for your help, your support. . .and patience. XD A VERY special thanks to Force for writing out Shenhua’s response in the interview segment; gave me more time to focus on the matches. Your help is very much appreciated, dude!**

**As always, please let me know if something doesn’t make sense, if there are any continuity errors, or if there’s anything I need to work on in terms of my wrestling matches. Your feedback is ALWAYS appreciated!**

**But now that Silver Lining has come and gone. . .MORE questions remain. What will the Knighthood do while Tai Kamiya is on a month-long break? Will Tommy finally be content with himself now that he’s won the Silver Lining briefcase and etched his name into XCW history? Why did Joffrey assault Double D? What will Ren and Stimpy do now that they’ve returned to XCW? How will Sora respond to Casey Lynch ambushing her and Yuna after their match? Does Arthur need plastic surgery after going through Claude’s windshield? All these questions and more will be answered in the next epic chapter of XCW Monday Night Massacre!**

**That will come after a break, because not only does life need me, but I’m also pursuing a couple passion projects. But I WILL be back, rest assured.**

**Until next time, please. . .READ, GRADE, AND REVIEEEEEEW!!!!!!! XD**


	49. XCW August Monthcap: Part 1

**……wow. First of all….I’m sorry it took literally THIRTEEN MONTHS for me to update this thing. But between a long busy period at my job, socializing at networking events, and even writing and directing a short film, life has needed me in a plethora of ways. But I cannot thank you guys enough for sticking with me and being patient with me; this update wouldn’t have come without it. So now. . .without further ado, is the first part of a monthcap summarizing every important incident that happened in the month of August in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, starting with the Hardcore title picture and the World Television title picture! I only own my championships.**

 

“In Two” by Nine Inch Nails played in the background as Frylock and Master Shake sat on barstools next to each other in front of a giant HD television inside a locker room.

 

“Welcome to another edition of XCW Rewind, ladies and gentlemen!” greeted Frylock. “I’m Frylock with Master Shake here backstage about to recap everything that happened in the month of August on Monday Night Massacre!”

 

“We would have a slew of full matches and fallout from Silver Lining, but a power outage wiped out the computer containing a good majority of the last month’s footage!” Shake informed. “That’s what happens when you trust a Windows product … “

 

“But that’s what we’re here for … to show you what we have and show you everything that you need to see before tomorrow night’s pay-per-view, XCW Shockwave!” said Frylock. “And we will start by taking a look at everything involving the Hardcore Championship picture, which right now primarily focuses on the current champion Solid Snake, and the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, who despite a valiant but losing effort to regain the title at Silver Lining, wouldn’t give up his quest to bring prestige to himself, his family and the Hardcore title belt! And it started the night after Silver Lining, where Rolf would make his presence felt during a tag team match between D-Generation Ed and the Knighthood of Assassins to let Solid Snake know that he wasn’t finished with him. . .in his own way. . .

 

_The show transitioned to the ring, where Scorpion and Eddy were trading right hands in the center of the ring, with the crowd chanting, “BOO!!!” in unison with Scorpion’s punches, and “YAY!!!” in unison with Eddy’s right hands! The two continued punching each other in the face until Scorpion took Eddy off guard with a throat thrust to the chest!!! Eddy leaned forward, clenching his chest in pain until Scorpion kneed Eddy in the chest before driving him into a nearby corner and hammering away on his chest with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust. Scorpion backed out of the corner before charging for another shoulder thrust. . ._

_. . .only for Eddy to surprise the Icon of UWE with a running back elbow!!! Both men reeled toward the center of the ring before Eddy jumped up for a facebuster. . .only for Scorpion to hit Eddy with a desperation European uppercut!!!_

_“These two men are former World Heavyweight Champions in the companies they made famous!” Frylock said. “And they’re giving it their all here tonight!”_

_Scorpion then pulled Eddy up by all three of his hairs and lifted him up before taking a few steps forward. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM IN THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A STANDING SHIRANUI!!!! The Icon of UWE went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999999999999 EDDY KICKED OUT!!!! Scorpion couldn’t believe it!!!!_

_“The D-Ed leader may just be a teenager, but he’s a resilient one!!!” Frylock said, as Scorpion backed up. . .rested against the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and shouted, “GET OVER HERE!!!!”_

_“But Scorpion’s going for The Fatality right here and right now!!!” Shake observed. “Eddy’s about to eat the taste of defeat!”_

_Eddy slowly but surely staggered up to his feet, upon which Scorpion pushed himself against the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .charged toward Eddy. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND—WAS CAUGHT BY EDDY FOR AN AA SPINEBUSTER!!!_

_“AA SPINEBUSTER!!!!” Frylock exclaimed. “SCORPION WENT FOR THE FATALITY BUT THE D-ED LEADER CAUGHT HIM WITH THE AA SPINEBUSTER!!!!”_

_  
The crowd POPPED after Eddy made the counter, their cheers unrelenting as Eddy hooked the leg for the cover!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999999999999 SCORPION KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“OH MY GOD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT????” Frylock called, as Eddy rose up from the cover, exasperated._

_“Not close enough for Eddy, Frylock!” Shake said. “Now what’s Eddy gonna do???”_

_With the fans on their feet, Eddy stood up from the cover, taking a few steps back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and gave Scorpion the DX Crotch Chop!!!_

_“The D-Ed Leader just told Scorpion exactly what he feels about him!” Frylock declared. “And he’s told the crowd what he’s going to do next!!!”_

_“The end is near, Frylock!” Shake added, as Eddy stepped toward Scorpion, who had made it up to his knees. . ._

_. . .AND GOT A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION FROM EDDY!! The D-Ed Leader then placed Scorpion’s head between his legs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .hooking both his arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND BEING DRIVEN BACKWARD AGAINST THE ROPES BY SCORPION!!!_

_“NOOOO!!!! SCORPION IS STILL SHOWING SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” Frylock called, as the D-Ed Leader broke his grip before Scorpion gripped Eddy in a wrist-lock! Scorpion then Irish whipped Eddy HARD across the ring. . ._

_. . .charged toward Eddy as he bounced back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN IN THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH THE FATALITY!!!!_

_“NOOOOOOO!!!! THE FATALITY CONNECTS!!!!” Shake screamed, as Scorpion turned Eddy onto his back for going for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .ROLF BROKE UP THE PIN FROM OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A SENTON BOMB FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!! IT’S ROLF!!! THE SON OF A SHEPHERD, ROLF!!!!” Frylock screamed, as the crowd erupted into cheers while Rolf charged toward the ring apron and knocked Solid Snake off of it with a back elbow!!! While the referee called for the bell, Rolf leapt onto the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK SCORPION DOWN WITH A SPRINGBOARD BULLDOG!!!!_

_“HE’S TAKEN OUT SCORPION!!! ROLF IS GOING AFTER SOLID SNAKE’S HARDCORE TITLE!!!” Frylock shouted, as Rolf kipped up from the mat while Ed pulled Eddy out of the ring from under the bottom rope, and Scorpion sold his head and face in pain on his way out of the ring to catch his breath._

_“HE’S SPOILED THE KNIGHTHOOD’S IMMINENT VICTORY, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake declared, as Rolf turned around to see Solid Snake back in the ring. Snake then charged forward toward Rolf. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Rolf also ran toward Snake. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND CLOCKED HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!!!_

_  
“THE CHAMPION IS OUT!!!!!” Shake yelled. “SOLID SNAKE JUST GOT A FACEFUL OF COC FROM THE SON OF A SHEPHERD!!!!”_

_Frylock’s snickering got a tad louder until Rolf motioned for the referee to come into the ring before going for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!_

_“AND THE SON OF A SHEPHERD IS HARDCORE CHAMPION ONCE AGAIN!!!” Frylock said, as Rolf knelt up from the cover and looked up at the ceiling of the arena, shouting “THANK YOU!!!” while the bell rang!_

_“Here is the NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .’The Son of a Shepherd’. . .ROLF!!!!”_

_The referee raised Rolf’s arm in victory before handing him the Hardcore Championship belt. Upon receiving the belt, Rolf saw Scorpion and Solid Snake stir, and LEAPT out of the ring over all three ropes before jumping the barricade and running through the crowd!!!_

_“And just like that, Rolf is the new XCW Hardcore Champion!!!” Frylock said. “He’s on a mission from God to bring prestige to himself and the Hardcore title!”_

_Solid Snake pulled himself up to his knees and draped an arm over the middle rope, glaring at Rolf with a malicious stare as Scorpion slid into the ring behind him._

_“Rolf is persistent, all right. . .but from the look on the face of Solid Snake, I have a feeling he’ll be retaliating sooner rather than later!”_

 

Scorpion asked Solid Snake if he was okay, to which, Snake nodded. . .only to turn his attention back to Rolf, who was raising the Hardcore title belt over his head, celebrating with the fans until the show transitioned back to the backstage area, where Frylock sat on a barstool next to a high definition TV.

 

“Rolf would go on to fight Sweet Tooth the following week in a one-on-one non-title match. . .and the results of that match will be detailed later in the program. But the week after that, Solid Snake would retaliate in traditional Knighthood fashion after Rolf’s match against ‘The First Of His Name’ Joffrey Baratheon. . .

 

_The show transitioned to the ring, where Rolf was sitting down in the center of the ring, as the referee gave him the Hardcore title belt._

_“Well, despite the result, you cannot deny that the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, brought forth a valiant effort against Joffrey Baratheon here tonight!” Frylock said, as Rolf stood up and raised the Hardcore title belt above his head toward the fans, who cheered for the Son of a Shepherd._

_“Gimme a break, Frylock….the result matters in every aspect!” Shake scoffed. “You can argue that he’s getting better and better as a wrestler with every match, but unless he gets a mark in the win column, his progress doesn’t mean shi—“_

_“HEY!!! WAIT A MINUTE!!!!” Frylock screamed. . ._

_. . .AS SOLID SNAKE RAN DOWN THE RAMP WITH A KENDO STICK IN HIS HAND AND A REFEREE BY HIS SIDE!!!!_

_“IT’S SOLID SNAKE!!! SOLID SNAKE IS COMING BACK FOR HIS HARDCORE TITLE!!!” Frylock shouted, as Snake entered the ring above the second rope before rearing his arms back. . ._

_. . .AND NAILING ROLF IN THE RIBS WITH THE KENDO STICK!!!! Rolf screamed in agonizing pain upon impact with the kendo stick, and fell over selling his ribs in pain. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR SNAKE TO WHACK ROLF’S BACK WITH THE KENDO STICK!!!_

_“Solid Snake is RELENTLESS with that kendo stick!!!” Shake said, as Snake whipped Rolf in the back with the kendo stick over. . ._

_. . .and over. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .until Rolf’s back was COVERED in welts and even bleeding in a few places, upon which, Solid Snake left the ring to grab a microphone from the timekeeper’s booth._

_“Good God. . .Rolf’s in a BAD way right now. . .” Frylock said, “. . .but what the hell does Snake have to say about it???”_

_“If he tries to JUSTIFY this, I’ve got news for him. . .he’s f*ckin’ HIGH.” Shake quipped, before Snake spoke into the microphone._

_“. . .y’know SOMETHIN’ ROLF. . .” Snake said, as he slid a steel chair into the ring under the bottom rope. “You were a REEEEAL thorn in my side at Silver Lining last month. . .and when I piledrove you into that wheelbarrow, I really thought I had pulled you out.”_

_Snake then entered the ring above the second rope, and unfolded the steel chair before sitting on it._

_“. . .but then you had to go and ambush me two weeks ago. . .and then slap me in the face by taking the Hardcore title. Well, in case you didn’t know. . .me and the Knighthood have a code. . .HONOR AMONG ASSASSINS. And a part of that code. . .pertains to the Assassins and I NEVER getting involved in each other’s shit. Our battles must be WON on our own. . .because they ARE OUR OWN. I know you’re not an Assassin. . .you’re with these JUVENILE DEGENERATES. . .but what you did two weeks ago would VIOLATE our code. . .and anyone that pulls what you pulled….DRIVES ME UP THE WALL. Now I know that when I’m through with you tonight, you’re gonna come back for me like the cockroach that you are. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .unless I live up. . .to the OTHER part of our code. . .”_

_Snake stood up from the chair and slowly stepped toward Rolf, who was still wincing in unbelievable pain._

_“. . .and THAT IS. . .to RENDER. . .OUR ENEMIES. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .LIFELESS.”_

_Snake dropped the microphone before pulling Rolf up by the hair and putting him in a powerbomb formation. Snake then drug him above the steel chair. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before lifting him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING HIM THROUGH THE SET UP STEEL CHAIR WITH A JUMPING PILEDRIVER!!!!_

_“BAH GAWD SHAKE!!!! SNAKE JUST DESTROYED THE STEEL CHAIR, AND HE MAY HAVE JUST DESTROYED ROLF!!!!” Frylock screamed, as Snake went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!_

_“And just like THAT. . .Solid Snake is Hardcore Champion. . .YET AGAIN. . .” droned Shake, as Snake stood up from the cover, raising a fist above his head to boos from the crowd while the bell rang!_

_“Here is the NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .SOLID SNAKE!!!”_

_The referee raised Snake’s arm in victory before handing him the XCW Hardcore Championship belt._

_“Well, Shake, you heard him. . .Snake called Rolf a thorn in his side, and doesn’t like him because he stuck his nose in business that wasn’t his. . .and it grinded his gears past the point of no return. . .” Frylock informed. “. . .and that hatred has led to Snake becoming a now five-time XCW Hardcore Champion!”_

_Snake left the ring, sneering at Rolf his entire way up the ramp while the referee checked on the Son of the Shepherd, who was lying in the remains of the steel chair in a crumbled heap._

_“But will it lead to another attack from the Son of a Shepherd?” Shake wondered. “He’s as stubborn as a Vietnamese hooker! I’d say it’s only a matter of time before these two come to blows yet again!”_

_“. . .somehow, I thought you’d make that comparison, Shake. . .” Frylock deadpanned._

 

Rolf slightly turned his head toward the stage, where Solid Snake was staring him down with the same malicious sneer, raising the XCW Hardcore title belt above his head until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Frylock sat on a barstool in front of a high-definition television.

 

“And Rolf would indeed come to blows with Solid Snake one more time in a six-man tag team match that featured him and the South Park Four against the Knighthood of Assassins. . .but due to the intersecting storylines in that match, it will be covered in a later portion of the program!” Frylock informed. “Now, we move onto—“

 

“OOH!!! OOOOH!!! ME!!! I wanna introduce this next segment, Frylock!” bugged Shake.

 

“Uhhh….sure, Shake…..just as long as you stay on-script.” Frylock said, raising an eyebrow.

 

“AAAAAAND HOW!!!!” Shake shouted, before turning to look into the camera. “Now we move on…to the World Television title picture, where this company’s GREATEST champion, Arthur Read, was still reigning supreme despite getting dealt a HORRIBLE disfigurement in the Silver Lining ladder match at the hands of Claude Speed. . .and the First PBS Kid would reveal the extent of these facial injuries to the Wild Dudes on the night after Silver Lining. . .”

_The show transitioned to the backstage area, where Mordecai and Rigby were striding into their dressing room._

_“Dude, I totally can’t believe Ren and Stimpy would say that S about us earlier!” Mordecai said._

_“Yeah, man! We HAVE to go find them and give them a piece of our minds!” suggested Rigby._

_“Hm! Hm! Agreed….but let’s go over it with Arthur first.” Mordecai said, before opening the door. . .to a dark dressing room. . .?_

_“Huh. . .Arthur’s not the type to go emo. . .” Rigby said. “ARTHUR!!! You in here, dude???”_

_“CLOSE THE DOOR. . .” ordered Arthur, who was sitting in a chair turned away from the doorway. “I don’t want to SEE the light. . .”_

_Rigby shut the door and turned the interior lights on, as Arthur covered his face._

_“Uhhhh…..hey, man….we saw what happened last night at Silver Lining….” Mordecai said._

_“….then….you saw….what Claude did to…….MY FACE…..”_

_Arthur then spun around…_

_…_

_…to reveal himself wearing a plastic facemask._

_“Dude. . .did he REALLY hurt you THAT bad. . .?” Mordecai wondered._

_“He did, Mordecai. . .to the point where I can’t risk anymore damage to my face! I am the face of the Rookie Revolution in this company, and it needs to heal properly!” Arthur insisted._

_“Dude. . .how do your glasses FIT under that thing?” Rigby asked._

_“Ask my friend, The Brain, for the answer to that…” Arthur said, “….but I do have to tell you this. . .despite this unfortunate incident, our mission to televise the Revolution MUST go on. . .and it starts by EXPANDING. We must add more members to help us spread the word of our presence, challenge more legends, win more titles, and most importantly. . .teach GOOD morals. What Claude did to me last night was INEXCUSABLE. . .and he needs to be taught a lesson for it the minute he comes back! But while we do expand, we can’t ignore the most important part of our growth. . .and we achieve that by continuing the conquests of our respective divisions! You two put on a GREAT match against D-Generation Ed that made me and the Revolution proud, and now the time has come for you two to teach Ren and Stimpy a lesson they won’t soon forget….that the Rookie Revolution is the greatest, most important revolution since the American Revolution in 1776! And I don’t know WHO will step up to the plate and challenge me for the World Television Championship. . .but what I do know is that I’ll be ready for them, facemask or no facemask!”_

_“Dude. . .that sounds great and all, but. . .that’s kinda what we wanted to talk to you about.” Rigby said._

_“Yeah, man!” agreed Mordecai. “What should we do now?”_

 

“Well. . .I do have some advice for you. . .” Arthur said, as the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Smokey The Bear was walking through the arena hallway, to cheers from the crowd in the arena.

 

“Arthur, Mordecai and Rigby would have their discussion behind closed doors, as the announcement was made that XCW’s 5th round pick in the 2015 FWM Draft, the legendary Smokey The Bear, would make his debut in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling by being the special guest ring announcer for the XCW World Television Championship match between Luigi and Arthur Read!” Frylock informed. “But little did Smokey know that Arthur Read would have more than a few things to say to the face of the living legend. . .”

 

_Smokey The Bear stepped down a hallway, shaking hands with various stagehands before continuing his walk to a locker room._

_“Welcome to XCW, Smokey!” Space Ghost said, passing in front of Smokey The Bear as he extended his hand for a handshake._

_“Thank you, sir!” Smokey said, smiling as he accepted Space Ghost’s handshake. “I am excited to get down to business and announce that match!”_

_“And I will make sure that you get a one-on-one match sooner than later!” Space Ghost assured._

_“Oh, you take your time on that!” Smokey grinned. “I’m not in any hurry. . .and I ain’t gonna start a revolt like your ninja.”_

_Space Ghost laughed. “I know you won’t. Take care!”_

_“You too,” Smokey said, as Space Ghost walked off. Smokey continued walking down the hallway, with his small rolling suitcase in tow until. . ._

_“Need a hand with that?”. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .Arthur Read came into his field of vision, wearing the World Television Championship around his waist._

_“I’ve got a good handle on it, but I appreciate the offer, young man!” Smokey said. “Say, are you the champion whose title match I’m announcing later tonight?”_

_“You’re gosh darn RIGHT I am!” Arthur replied. “And by the end of the match, you’re going to wonder why you even agreed to come here, because this company has too many up-and-comers to count, and the sport of wrestling has only gotten faster and faster since your day!”_

_“That won’t deter me!” Smokey declared. “Because I’ve been a journeyman for the majority of my career, and adapted to the wrestling style of every single company I worked in! I’m confident that I will be a regular competitor here for many years to come. Who knows, maybe one day, you and I will be fighting for the World Television Championship?”_

_“Oh please. . .” Arthur stated. “You have better chances of carrying MY BAGS than fighting with a wrestler of MY stature!”_

_The crowd ERUPTED into boos as Smokey The Bear was just standing there, trying to process what Arthur had just said._

_  
“Well, I gotta get one more stretch in before the Revolution can be televised. . .” Arthur said. “See you out there tonight, OLD MAN.”_

 

Arthur stepped away from the hallway, leaving Smokey alone to process Arthur’s insult until the show transitioned to the ring, where Arthur had Luigi in a headlock in the center of the ring, while Smokey The Bear was sitting on a steel chair at ringside.

 

“Smokey The Bear would INDEED see Arthur Read later in the night, as he was the special guest ring announcer for Arthur Read’s defense of the XCW World Television Championship against Luigi.” Frylock informed. “The competition would be a knock-down, drag ‘em out fight pitting a rookie against a veteran, with a more than surprising finish that would be talked about by the fiction wrestling multiverse right up to this edition of our talk show. . .”

 

_In the ring, Arthur took Luigi down with a snapmare before nailing him with a series of kicks to the back before raising two fists in the air and shouting, “YEAH!!!” to a chorus of boos from the crowd. But Luigi had risen to his feet behind the First PBS Kid and gripped him in a waist-lock. . .before dropping him onto the mat with a German suplex! But Luigi kept his grip on Arthur’s waist as he pulled him back up to his feet. . .and took him down with another German suplex! The Other Mario Brother continued gripping Arthur’s waist as he staggered back up to a standing position. . .lifted him up. . .and dropped him with a third and final German suplex!!!_

_“The Other Mario Brother just dropped the Television Champion with a trio of German suplexes!!!” Frylock called. “We’re about to have a new XCW World Television Champion!!!”_

_Luigi rolled Arthur onto his back before going for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 ARTHUR KICKED OUT!!!!_

_  
“NO!!!! ARTHUR JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!” Frylock said, as Luigi rolled off from the cover and pushed himself up to his feet. Luigi sized Arthur up as he slowly but surely rose to his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .put him in position for a powerbomb. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .OR, HE WOULD HAVE, IF ARTHUR DIDN’T SURPRISE HIM WITH A KNEE TO THE GUT!!! Arthur then shoved Luigi backward, into the ropes behind him. Luigi bounced off. . ._

_. . .AND WAS IMMEDIATELY CAUGHT AND TAKEN DOWN BY AN ALABAMA SLAM FROM ARTHUR!!! The First PBS Kid then took a few steps backward, taunting for Luigi to get up, and the Other Mario Brother started to struggle with pushing himself up to his knees. Meanwhile, Arthur ran against the ropes behind him before bouncing back toward Luigi. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TAKING HIM DOWN WITH A SCISSORS KICK!!!! Arthur went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 LUIGI KICKED OUT!!! Arthur couldn’t believe it!!!_

_  
“ANOTHER NEAR-FALL!!!” Frylock said, as Arthur rolled off of the cover, deep in thought about what to do next. “And the First PBS Kid is beside himself!”_

_“COME ON, ARTHUR!!!” Shake cheered. “GO FOR THE KILL!!!”_

_Arthur stood up to his feet, taunting for Luigi to get up. The Other Mario Brother eventually rose up to a standing position, upon which, Arthur went for a backpack stunner. . ._

_. . .but Luigi grasped Arthur’s sides before he could hit the move!!! Luigi then lifted Arthur up and dropped him with an Atomic Drop!!! Arthur winced in pain as he sold his lower back and stepped toward the ropes, staring down at the floor to catch his breath._

_“Luigi has given Arthur quite a challenge tonight. . .to the point of reeling!” Frylock said. “What has to be going through the champion’s mind right now???”_

_“He’s using his smarts, Frylock!” Shake replied. “He’s coming up with a strategy that’s too fool-proof for him to lose!”_

_Arthur then turned around and charged toward Luigi. . ._

_. . .who took him down with a spinning side slam!!! Luigi then pulled Arthur to a standing position and draped his arm over his back. . ._ _. . .before lifting him up. . .and taking him down with a rolling suplex!!! But Luigi kept his grip onto Arthur as he pulled him back up. . .lifted him HIGH above his head. . .and took him down with ANOTHER rolling suplex. . .Luigi then rolled closer to the down ladder next to him before pulling Arthur up to his feet. . .lifting him HIGH above the mat. . ._

_. . .AND COMPLETING THE 3-UP SUPLEXES!!!_

_“LUIGI HITS THE 3-UP SUPLEX COMBO PERFECTED BY HIS BROTHER!!!” Frylock shouted, as Luigi went in for the cover!!! “We’re gonna have a new champion!!!”_

_The referee made the count, 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . ..2.9999999999999999 ARTHUR KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“HOW CLOSE WAS THAT??? We almost had a new World Television Champion!” Frylock cried, as Luigi groaned, “Noooo…”_

_“I WON’T STAND FOR IT!!! COME ON, ARTHUR!!! USE YOUR SMARTS!!!” screamed Shake, as Luigi pulled Arthur to his feet and set him up for a jawbreaker. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Arthur SLAPPED Luigi HARD across the face!!!_

_“Complete and utter DISRESPECT to Luigi from the First PBS Kid. . .” Frylock said. “Absolutely DISGUSTING.”_

_“Come on, Frylock! He’s teaching Luigi lessons that he won’t soon forget: that the young guns are here to stay, and that the Revolution WILL be televised!” Shake said, as the crowd continued to boo Arthur, who slapped Luigi across the face again, before taking him back down with a swinging neckbreaker!!! Arthur then sat up from the cover before charging toward the ropes. . .bouncing back toward Luigi. . .and landing a Leg drop across his chest!!! Arthur then pulled Luigi up. . .all the way off the MAT. . .before gripping his shoulder. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM WITH THE MORALIZER!!!_

_“THE MORALIZER CONNECTS!!!!” Shake cheered. “HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MORE UNBELIEVABLE FEAT OF STRENGTH FROM THE FIRST PBS KID, FRYLOCK???”_

_“I’ve seen better, Shake, yes. . .” Frylock deadpanned, as Smokey The Bear looked on, leaning forward with intrigue while Arthur rolled Luigi onto his back for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999999 LUIGI KICKED OUT!!!!! Arthur sat up from the cover, shocked and exasperated!!!_

_  
“OH COME ON!!! HOW THE HELL DID LUIGI KICK OUT????” Shake shouted. “THE SYSTEM IS RIGGED AGAINST THE TELEVISION CHAMPION!!!”_

_“Can it, Shake!!! Luigi got the shoulder up!!!” Frylock snapped, as Arthur stood up and raised his arm in a fist, pointing his Rookie Revolution wristband toward the crowd, who ERUPTED into boos while Arthur taunted for Luigi to stand up._

_“Now HERE’S the smart play that Arthur’s going for!!” Shake declared. “He’s about to throw the book at Luigi. . .”_

_  
Luigi slowly but surely staggered up to his feet, still groggy from the effects of the Moralizer. . ._

_. . .UNTIL ARTHUR PUT HIM IN A HEADLOCK. . ._

_. . ._

_“. . .because this is THE FINAL CHAPTER. . .”_

_. . ._

_. . .AND—NO!!! LUIGI SPUN OUT OF THE FINAL CHAPTER AND SHOVED ARTHUR AGAINST THE ROPES BEHIND HIM!!! On the bounceback, Luigi Irish whipped Arthur across the ring. . ._

_. . .AND RIGHT INTO THE REFEREE!!!_

_  
“The referee couldn’t get out of harm’s way in time!!!” Shake called. “There’s no law and order in this match!!!....ARTHUR!!! PULL OUT A CHAIR!!!”_

_“There might be order if Smokey The Bear wanted to volunteer!” Frylock said. “He’s always been such a stand-up guy, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility!”_

_But before Arthur could go outside to grab a weapon, Luigi caught Arthur in a tie-up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH A JAWBREAKER!!!_

_“LUIGI CONNECTS WITH THE JAWBREAKER!!!” Frylock said, as Luigi stepped toward a nearby corner. . ._

_. . .and began climbing up to the top rope—_

_\---while….Smokey The Bear stood up…?_

_“Luigi’s got Arthur RIGHT where he wants him. . .” Frylock said, “. . .but wait a minute. . .what is Smokey doing???”_

_“He probably just has to go to the bathroom, Frylock. Pay him no mind.” Shake dismissed, as Smokey folded up his steel chair and. . .slid it underneath the ropes. . .?_

_“It sure doesn’t look like it, Shake!!! What the hell is Smokey thinking???” Frylock said, flabbergasted, while Luigi stood on the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .sized Arthur up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .while Smokey The Bear stepped onto the ring apron. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and climbed over all three ropes. . .?_

_“He’s probably just cutting across the ring! It’s a quicker way to the ramp, anyway.” Shake said, before Luigi leapt off. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND HIT THE SUPER MARIO SPLASH. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AT LEAST, HE WOULD HAVE IF SMOKEY DIDN’T CATCH HIM IN MID-AIR!!!_

_  
“WAIT A MINUTE!!!! WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE!!!” Frylock shouted, as Smokey sat Luigi on his shoulders. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DRIVING HIM ONTO THE CHAIR WITH A STANDING FIREMAN’S CARRY SLAM!!!!_

_“I DON’T BELIEVE IT!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!” Shake exclaimed, to the bewilderment and shock of the crowd!!!_

_“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL ABOUT????” Frylock demanded. “SMOKEY THE BEAR IS A NATIONAL TREASURE!!! A CLASS ACT!!!! THIS IS UNBECOMING OF THE LIVING LEGEND!!!!”_

_Arthur Read was in the seated position in a nearby corner, eyes wide and mouth agape, as even HE couldn’t believe what he was seeing, while Smokey The Bear slid the chair out from under Luigi. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SLAMMED IT INTO HIS BACK!!!!_

_“GOOD GOD!!! WHAT BRUTALITY!!!!” Frylock cringed, as Smokey The Bear continued to hit Luigi in the back and sides with the chair over. . ._

_. . .and over. . ._

_. . .and OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .until he laid the chair in the center of the ring. Smokey The Bear stared down Luigi with a malicious glare before picking him up by his overalls. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .putting him in a headlock. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM HEAD-FIRST ONTO THE CHAIR!!!!_

_“GEEEEEZ!!!! THAT MAY HAVE CONCUSSED LUIGI!!!!” Frylock shouted, as Smokey stood up, looking at Luigi’s limp body. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before turning to Arthur, and saying. . ._

_. . ._

_“. . .HE’S ALL YOURS.”_

_Smokey The Bear then climbed over all three ropes and stepped back onto the ringside floor, then turned around to watch Arthur skip happily into the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .pull Luigi up in a headlock. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TAKE HIM DOWN WITH A FINAL CHAPTER ON THE STEEL CHAIR!!!!_

_“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” screamed Frylock unintelligibly. “NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!!!”_

_Arthur shoved the chair under the ropes and out of the ring, before going for the cover. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .just as the referee was waking up!!!_

_  
“NO!!!! THE REFEREE IS UP. . .LUIGI IS OUT. . .” Frylock yelled, as the referee made the count! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!_

_“. . .and Arthur is STILL the World Television Champion!” Shake declared, as Arthur Read stood up from the cover, while Smokey The Bear entered the ring with a microphone in hand after the bell rang! The Living Legend then came to Arthur’s side and put the microphone up to his mouth to make the official announcement. . ._

_“The winner of this match. . .AND STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION. . .ARTHUR READ!!!!”_

_The crowd ERUPTED into an ORCHESTRA of boos as Smokey The Bear raised Arthur’s arm in victory, while Arthur raised the World Television Championship belt high above his head with his other hand. Meanwhile, fans in the stands looked on at the pair with looks that ranged from eyes wide in shock, to even tears, especially from children in the audience, who had never seen Smokey act so violently._

_“I can’t believe what I’m seeing!!!” Frylock said. “Smokey The Bear has aligned himself with the First PBS Kid, Arthur!!! SOMEONE TELL ME THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!!!!”_

_“Oh, it’s happening, all right!” Shake insisted._

_“But WHY??? I WANT TO KNOW WHY!!!” Frylock yelled. “WHY WOULD A LIVING LEGEND LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR DO SUCH A THING—ESPECIALLY AFTER HOW ARTHUR TREATED HIM EARLIER???”_

Arthur and Smokey the Bear kept their arms raised in the center of the ring until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Frylock was sitting on a barstool in front of a high-definition television.

 

"After that shocking development, fans demanded answers from The Living Legend." Frylock informed. "And they would get them, while the First PBS Kid would lay down the challenge for his World Television Championship. . .and get a surprise of his own. . ."

 

_The show transitioned to Arthur and Smokey The Bear standing in the center of the ring and scanned the crowd, who were relentless with FURIOUS boos, and holding several signs in the crowd which read, 'Why, Smokey, Why???' and "Smokey's A Sellout". Smokey grumbled under his breath before putting the microphone up to his mouth._

_"So....you all want answers???" Smokey asked, to more boos from the crowd, and even a chant of, "Why??? Why??? Why???"_

_"Alright. . .I'll give you answers, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat 'em." Smokey said. "Last week, as soon as I got here. . .Arthur said I was better off carrying his bags. . .however, I will GLADLY carry the bags for the WORLD...TELEVISION....CHAMPION....ARTHUR READ!!!"_

_Arthur raised the World Television title belt above his head toward the crowd, who erupted once again with venomous boos._

_"I should be THANKING him, too. . .because as soon as he said that to me last week, I thought long and hard about it. . .and decided that Arthur Read is WORTH getting an endorsement and guidance from me, because no matter what you think about him, or his associates, Arthur Read is TELEVISING the Revolution...in the name of GOOD MORALS."_

_The crowd erupted into chants of, "BUUUUUULLSHIT!!! BUUUUUULLSHIT!!!"_

_"That is NOT a lie..." Smokey continued, "...because Arthur has spread the good word of PBS all throughout his career, “…because he is a ROLE MODEL. AND AN EDUCATOR!!! His books and cartoons have taught children of ALL AGES valuable life lessons. . . .and he teaches life lessons about respect. . .morality. . .and sportsmanship in the ring to this day. But what does he get in return??? HE GETS BOOED OUT OF THE ARENA, AND TOSSED THROUGH A CAR WINDSHIELD!!!!_

_And I have taught similar life lessons. . .SINCE 1943!!! You heard it time and time AND TIME again. . .’ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT WILD FIRES’!!! I practiced that. . .and I preached it. . .every hour of my life. . .and every hour I wrestled for over 50 years in the National Wrestling Alliance, WWE’s Animation Division, WCW. . .you name it, I was THERE. I fought tooth and nail against the greats like Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Donkey Kong, AND The Mario Brothers!!! I won countless World and Tag Team Championships in companies all over the globe!! I became the icon of the United States Forest Service, loved and admired by all. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and Arthur Read deserves your love and respect as well. But if you won’t give it to him. . .don’t pretend you’ll give it to me. If it wasn’t for you people. . .there wouldn’t be over 16,000 species of animals that are ENDANGERED right now. If it wasn’t for you people. . .the National Parks Service wouldn’t be in danger of being defunded. So if you won’t practice what Arthur Read preaches. . .he and I TOGETHER. . .will teach ALL OF YOU PEOPLE lessons that you’ll NEVER forget!!! You people need to learn the importance of our national parks, greenways, and forests!!! You people must understand. . .that our environment IS IN DANGER. . .and CANNOT be taken for granted!!! And above all else. . .you people HAVE TO COMPREHEND that respect. . .is a TWO-WAY STREET. I have respected each and every person I’ve crossed in my life. . .and ONLY YOU. . .will respect the alliance between Arthur and I. . .ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.”_

_The crowd erupted in a chorus of boos as Smokey The Bear gave Arthur the microphone._

_“Very well said, Smokey. . .” Arthur said, “. . .very well said. I’m glad you took what I said the right way. . .and I will admit, even members of the Rookie Revolution were as shocked as all of you simpletons were when Smokey came to my aid last week. But I told them that Smokey and I had lessons of great importance to teach outside of the Revolution, insisted that Smokey The Bear was the perfect man to partner with. . .and they gladly complied. That’s how good of terms I am on with Souichi, Zoe and the whole crew. . .but that’s beside the point. What IS the point. . .is that I now have a bodyguard. . .and in order for ANYONE to get to me without my consent. . .they have to GO THROUGH SMOKEY FIRST.”_

_The crowd continued to boo as they started to chant, “YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!”, and “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!”_

_  
Arthur chuckled. “If what happened to him backstage at Silver Lining is any indication. . .I think he’s gonna have his hands full.”_

_The crowd booed even LOUDER as Arthur finished that statement._

_“However. . .right here, right now will be the LAST time I consent to a confrontation.” Arthur continued. “Because now that I have the trusted guidance and strength of Smokey The Bear on my side. . .I feel safe enough. . .to issue an OPEN CHALLENGE for my World Television Championship at Shockwave! If anybody backstage isn’t busy, and wants to come after me and my title. . .and thinks they can fend off the brawn of Smokey. . .as well as my intelligence. . .I say, GO FOR IT. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and may the REVOLUTION. . .BE TELEVISED. . .”_

_Arthur lowered the microphone from his lips and turned to face the ramp, looking down it with his brow furrowed in anticipation while Smokey turned to look up the ramp with him!_

_“Arthur’s issuing an open challenge for his World Television Championship!” Frylock said. “Who the hell is gonna come out???”_  
  


_“I don’t think it matters, Frylock!” Shake said. “Because the First PBS Kid has both a facemask AND a bodyguard! He has a GIANT brick wall at ringside with him from this moment forward in Smokey The Bear, and he’s all fired up now that he’s got that facemask on! Whoever comes out better be craving and READY for a fight!”_

_  
Arthur and Smokey The Bear glared up the ramp with anticipation. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_“. . .GOTTA GET BACK. . .”_

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_“. . .BACK TO THE PAST. . .”_

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .somebody’s THEME MUSIC PLAYED. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and everyone LOST THEIR MINDS WHEN. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

****

**_. . .SAMURAI JACK STEPPED ONTO THE STAGE!!!!!_ **

****

**_“OHHHHH MYYYYYY!!!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd had EXPLODED into more cheers!!! “SAMURAI JACK IS BACK IN XCW!!! THE FORMER CWF CHAMPION!!! THE FORMER CWF HARDCORE CHAMPION!!! THE MAN WHO HAS NEVER TAPPED OUT IN HIS CAREER. . .HAS RETURNED TO XTREME CARTOON WRESTLING TO ANSWER ARTHUR’S CHALLENGE!!!!”_ **

_“Big deal.” Shake deadpanned. “The last time we saw him, he was taken out by Garfield! He hasn’t competed in XCW for seven months, and he’s been absent in CWF for who knows how long!!! What makes you think he can stand toe-to-toe against the likes of Smokey The Bear and Arthur Read???”_

_Samurai Jack stepped down the ramp, staring down Arthur and Smokey The Bear with his trademark glare until he climbed up the stairs and entered the ring above the second rope._

_“The man is a superstar in his own way, Shake! From a legendary warrior in the past, to an iconic talent in fiction wrestling, Samurai Jack embodies all the qualities that a wrestling talent should have: dignity, humility, and relentless tenacity!” Frylock responded. “I’m certainly glad to see him back in XCW, and eager to hear what he has to say!”_

_The lights went up and Samurai Jack was standing in the center of the ring toe-to-toe with Arthur and Smokey, who were beside themselves as the crowd had exploded into chants of “JACK!!! JACK!!! JACK!!! JACK!!!”_

_“So. . .where have YOU been, Jack. . .?” Arthur said, after putting the microphone up to his mouth. “The last time anybody saw you, you were smothered by a giant cat. . .and in case you haven’t heard, he’s injured now, too! Or did you already know that?”_

_Jack simply said nothing, instead glaring back into Arthur’s eyes. The First PBS Kid gulped underneath his facemask before putting the microphone back up to his mouth._

_“. . .are you even aware of my dominance in recent months? Have you been in the backstage area this whole time? What makes you think you can just come out here after seven months of inactivity and challenge the likes of ME, the First PBS Kid, to MY World Television Championship???”_

_Samurai Jack slowly but surely put his microphone up to his mouth, his eyes never leaving Arthur’s gaze._

_“I have returned. . .because I am more worthy of that belt. . .than YOU ARE.”_

_The crowd EXPLODED into cheers upon hearing Jack make that statement, before quieting down as Jack spoke into the microphone again._

_“Contrary to what you may have heard. . .I was NOT hurt after my first singles match all those months ago. You see, Arthur Read. . .one of the first lessons I learned in training as a samurai. . .was that patience is a virtue. Because patience is not simply the ability to wait. . .it is how we behave while we are waiting. In my absence, I have been biding my time. . .perfecting my wrestling craft. . .and training my body at maximum capacity. . .in order to be a better combatant than ever before. I am a warrior with legacies that span several years both inside. . .as well as outside the ring. . .and my journey to reclaim a place in this company ended upon your issue of this open challenge. Because if there is one person that I have a desire to fight in this company. . .it is YOU, Arthur Read._

_Over the past seven months, I have watched you win match after match. . .and title after title. . .in dishonorable fashion. You have gotten ahead in this business not by earning your victories, fighting hard-fought battles, and rolling with the obstacles that come into your view. . .YOU. . .have gotten to where you are today through methods of cheating. . .insulting those who fought long before you. . .and letting your comrades fight your battles for you. You fight for an organization that wants to make its voice heard. . .and bullies its way to get anywhere. . .and that is not only dishonorable. . .it is DISGRACEFUL. And at Shockwave. . .I intend to fight you for your World Television Championship. . .to cement my place in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .AND. . .to show you what a TRUE champion looks like.”_

_The crowd ERUPTED into cheers as Samurai Jack lowered his microphone and stared down Arthur, who looked at the Samurai warrior absolutely dumbfounded._

_“. . .what a bunch of BALONEY.” Arthur said, to MASSIVE boos from the crowd. “I haven’t seen you take on any comers. . .even BEFORE you disappeared! So if you weren’t REALLY injured at the hands of Garfield all those months ago. . .how about you fight one of my Wild Dudes next week, and then Smokey and I will know for CERTAIN that you’re all bluster.”_

_Samurai Jack raised his microphone up to his mouth._

_“. . .I ACCEPT.” said Samurai Jack, to cheers from the crowd. “They say that the two most powerful mental warriors are patience and time. . .and I look forward to them paying off next Monday. . .AND at Shockwave.”_

Samurai Jack’s entrance music kicked on in the background as he remained engaged in a staredown with Arthur and Smokey until the show transitioned to the ring, where Samurai Jack stared down Rigby across the ring.

 

“And Samurai Jack would demonstrate that he and his wrestling methods hadn’t aged a day in what would be an emphatic return to the ring for the Samurai warrior!” Frylock informed. “He would take on Rigby in what would be a clash between two eras of Cartoon Network, while the First PBS Kid and the Living Legend would look on from the back, eager to know just who they had to prepare for at Shockwave. . .little did they know that they were in for a wrestling CLINIC. . .”

_Samurai Jack and Rigby stared each other down from opposite sides of the ring until the bell rang, upon which the two men met in the center of the ring for a tie-up. Rigby came out of it with a collar and elbow tie-up, but Samurai Jack was quick to fight out of it with swift right hands to Rigby’s sternum. Samurai Jack then gripped Rigby in a wrist-lock before strafing around to face his back and put him in a waist-lock! Samurai Jack then lifted Rigby up and took him down to the mat with a belly-to-back forward slam! Samurai Jack then lifted Rigby up by the leg and rammed his knee against the mat for a Knee Smash! Samurai Jack then grabbed Rigby’s other leg. . .and slammed THAT against the mat for a Knee Smash! Samurai Jack then went for the cover, 1 . .2. . .Rigby kicked out!! Samurai Jack pulled Rigby up, and went for a chop, but Rigby blocked it in time before going for a right hand. . .but Samurai Jack caught Rigby by picking him up off his feet and slamming him to the mat with a fireman’s carry before landing a quick leg drop across Rigby’s chest! Samurai Jack went for another cover 1. . .2. . .Rigby kicked out!!!_

_“Samurai Jack is demonstrating great speed and technical ability early on in this match!” Frylock declared. “How will he follow up???”_

_Samurai Jack pulled Rigby up to his feet, only to receive a thumb to the eye from Rigby. Samurai Jack stepped backward, selling his face in pain until Rigby took him down with a jawbreaker! Rigby then pulled Samurai Jack up to his feet and hit him in the face with a right hand! Rigby then hit Samurai Jack with a three-punch combination that drove him into the corner. Rigby then backed up to the center of the ring and charged toward Samurai Jack for a corner splash, only for Samurai Jack to send him reeling with a boot to the face!!! Samurai Jack then charged out of the corner and Irish whipped Rigby into the opposing corner before taking him down with a high knee, then dragging him toward the center of the ring in a headlock before driving him head and face first into the mat with a bulldog!!! Samurai Jack went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . . Rigby kicked out!!!_

_Samurai Jack then pulled Rigby up in a headlock until Rigby nailed him in the kidney with a series of swift right hands, causing him to break his grip. Rigby then gripped Samurai Jack by his waist and dropped him to the mat with a hip toss!!! Rigby then pulled Samurai Jack up again. . .and dropped him with ANOTHER hip toss! Rigby then wrenched onto Samurai Jack’s head, neck and shoulders for a bit before standing back up and giving him an angry stomp to the face!!! Samurai Jack sold his face in pain as Rigby climbed up to the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and landed a Diving Elbow Drop onto the chest of Samurai Jack!!! Rigby went for the cover, 1. . .2. . .Samurai Jack kicked out!!!_

_“Rigby went high-risk with no reward that time!” Frylock called. “Now what’s the Wild Dude going to do???”_

_Rigby pulled Samurai Jack up to his feet before slugging him with a right hand. Rigby then landed a three-punch combination to the Samurai warrior before Irish whipping him across the ring, catching him on the bounceback. . .and sending him flying across the ring with a Monkey Flip!!! Samurai Jack made it up to his feet only for Rigby to run toward him. . .and drop him with a jumping Complete Shot!!! With Samurai Jack down face-up on the mat, Rigby dashed toward the ropes. . .leaping onto the top one. . ._

_. . .AND HIT SAMURAI JACK ACROSS THE CHEST WITH A SPRINGBOARD LEG DROP!!!_

_“The raccoon Rigby is going on a tear right now!!! That leg drop may be all she wrote!” Shake declared, as Rigby went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Samurai Jack kicked out!!!! Rigby couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“So close and yet so far away!” Frylock called. “How will Rigby follow up???”_

_  
Rigby then stood up and moved to Samurai Jack’s legs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before picking them up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LOCKING SAMURAI JACK IN THE FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!!!_

_“Rigby’s trying to hinder the speed of Samurai Jack with the figure four!!!” Frylock said. “Will the Samurai Warrior tap out???”_

_Rigby wrenched onto the hold, and Samurai Jack screamed in agonizing pain!!! The referee knelt down and asked Jack if he wanted to quit. Jack shook his head no before letting out a scream of intense agony!!!_

_Samurai Jack tried inching closer to the ropes, but couldn’t get any further as Rigby kept intensifying the hold more and more!!! Wincing in pain, Samurai Jack tried rolling to the left. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .then rolled to the right. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before rolling to the left once more. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDED HIMSELF AND RIGBY ON THEIR CHESTS, REVERSING THE FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!!!!_

_“SAMURAI JACK IS SENDING THE PRESSURE OF THE FIGURE FOUR THE OTHER WAY!!!!” Frylock called. “Now Rigby’s feeling the pain of his own move!!!”_

_Rigby screamed in agonizing pain as the referee knelt down and asked him if he wanted to quit. Rigby VIOLENTLY shook his head no as he kept himself up by his arms, and crawled toward the ropes!!!_

_  
“GIMME A BREAK!!!” Shake scoffed. “Rigby had him dead to rights! How’d the Samurai Warrior get out of it???”_

_Rigby extended his arm out. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .kept his arm raised high in the air. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .wormed closer to the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY DRAPED HIS ARM OVER THE BOTTOM ROPE, FORCING SAMURAI JACK TO BREAK THE HOLD!!!_

_“The raccoon Rigby has made it to the ropes!!!” Frylock called, as Samurai Jack let go of the hold, gripping the middle ropes with his hands as he catches his breath._

_  
“It’s been a hard-fought match between these two men. . .but will Samurai Jack gain the victory in his return to action in XCW, or will Rigby pull off the upset, giving Arthur the advantage just days away from Shockwave???” Frylock wondered, as Samurai Jack and Rigby began to slowly pull themselves up to their feet on opposite sides of the ring._

_“Rigby BETTER win.” Shake said. “Because the Revolution NEEDS to be televised!!!”_

_Samurai Jack and Rigby staggered toward each other and met in the center of the ring, upon which, Samurai Jack nailed Rigby in the chest with a SWIFT judo kick!!! Rigby winced in pain as Samurai Jack followed it up with a flurry of tae kwon do style kicks that sent Rigby back-first into the corner. After taking another judo kick, Rigby went for a desperation kick to the midsection. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Samurai Jack caught it and rolled Rigby into the center of the ring with a Dragon Screw!!! With Rigby down, Samurai Jack ran toward the corner. . ._

_. . .and climbed up to the top rope!!!_

_“Samurai Jack is looking to go airborne!!!” Frylock said. “He’s done it in the past. . .let’s see how far he can go today!!!”_

_Samurai Jack stood on the top rope and waited for Rigby to come to a standing position. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .as he sized Rigby up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before leaping HIGH off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_“HOLY COW!!!” Shake cried. “Samurai Jack can FLY???”_

_“No, Shake. . .” Frylock said. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AS SAMURAI JACK KNOCKED RIGBY BACK DOWN WITH A FLYING FOREARM!!!_

_“. . .HE CAN JUMP GOOD!!!” finished Frylock, as the fans POPPED for Samurai Jack, who crawled on top of Rigby for the cover!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 RIGBY KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“NO!!!! RIGBY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!” Frylock cried, as Samurai Jack sat up from the cover, shaking his head back into reality before standing up to his feet, pulling Rigby up by his fur and slapping him in the chest with a furious chop!!! Samurai Jack then hooked both of Rigby’s legs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Rigby drove Samurai Jack against the ropes behind him!!! Rigby then Irish whipped Samurai Jack across the ring. . .and took him down with a headscissor takedown once he bounced back!!! Rigby taunted for Samurai Jack to stand up while Samurai Jack slowly reeled up to his feet . . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR RIGBY TO DROP HIM WITH THE TEMP CHECK!!!_

_  
“HAHAHA!!! WHAT A TEMP CHECK!!!” Shake laughed. “This match is ALL Rigby’s!!!”_

_Rigby rolled Samurai Jack onto his back before going for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 SAMURAI JACK KICKED OUT!!! Rigby rose up from the cover, screaming, “UGGGGHHHHHHH” in frustration!!!_

_“SAMURAI JACK STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” Frylock called. “And it’s a tough concept for Rigby to grasp!”_

_“There’s no concept ABOUT IT, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake yelled. “Samurai Jack is getting in Rigby’s way of ADVANCING THE REVOLUTION!!!”_

_Rigby then stood up before striding toward the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and climbing up to the top rope!!!_

_“Now it’s Rigby who’s looking to go high-risk!!!” Frylock said. “Will he pull the win out of his sleeve in addition to an ace???”_

_  
“You’re damn right he will, Frylock!” Shake replied. “…but not without getting some HAMBONING in first!!!”_

_Rigby waited for Samurai Jack to make it to his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before sizing him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LEAPING OFF THE TOP ROPE. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND—DID NOT CONNECT WITH HAMBONING BECAUSE SAMURAI JACK CAUGHT HIM IN A FIREMAN’S CARRY POSITION!!!_

_“HAMBONING DIDN’T PAY OFF!!!” Frylock shouted. “Samurai Jack has him up!!!”_

_Samurai Jack then grabbed Rigby’s body. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and SHIFTED HIS BODY UNTIL HE COULD HOOK BOTH HIS LEGS. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM IN THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX!!!_

_“The Fisherman Suplex connects!!!” Frylock called. “Samurai Jack is in the driver’s seat, and going for the win right here!!!”_

_Samurai Jack then went for a cover, hooking both legs!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 RIGBY KICKED OUT!!!! Samurai Jack couldn’t believe it!!!!_

_“OH MY GOD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?!??!” Frylock yelled unintelligibly as Samurai Jack rolled into a nearby corner, plotting his next move._

_  
“What’s gotta be going through the mind of Samurai Jack right now???” Frylock wondered. “In six days at Shockwave, he takes on Arthur Read for the World Television Championship, but right now he needs to put away his comrade in the Wild Dudes, Rigby!!!”_

_“Are you implying that Samurai Jack is getting preoccupied with Arthur, Frylock???” Shake asked. “So much for this guy being the great warrior you say he is!!!”_

_“He isn’t preoccupied with Arthur. . .as much as he is with Rigby. . .” Frylock said. “. . .what’s Samurai Jack gonna do here. . .?”_

_Samurai Jack narrowed his eyes with fury as he stalked Rigby in the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and watched him sit up, selling his shoulders in pain. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before sprinting forward. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND KNOCKING RIGBY RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE CRANE KNEE (Shinsuke Nakamura’s Kinshasa)!!!!!_

_“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!” Frylock yelled. “SAMURAI JACK JUST KNOCKED RIGBY OUT COLD WITH THOSE KNEES TO THE FACE!!!!”_

_“HE COULD HAVE KNEED HIS FACE OFF, FRYLOCK!!!!” Shake screamed. “THIS CALLS FOR A SANCTION!!!!”_

_The crowd let loose with an EPIC pop as Samurai Jack made that move. . .but Samurai Jack quickly pulled Rigby up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SET HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS IN A FIREMAN’S CARRY POSITION!!!_

_“….but Samurai Jack’s NOT DONE!!!” Frylock yelled, as Samurai Jack turned around to face the Titantron. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and screamed, “ARTHUR!!!!”_

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DRIVING RIGBY HEAD-FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH GOD’S KATANA (Samoan Driver)!!!! The crowd erupted with more cheers as Rigby made contact with the mat!!!_

_“SAMURAI JACK JUST STRUCK RIGBY…WITH GOD’S KATANA!!!” Frylock shouted, as Samurai Jack went for the cover!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_“. . .and it has brought him. . .”_

  1. _. ._



_“. . .an EMPHATIC return. . .”_

_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!_

_“. . .to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!!!” Frylock finished, as the crowd burst into cheers, and Samurai Jack rose up from the cover, staying knelt until the bell rang!!!_

_“The winner of this match. . .SAMURAI JACK!!!!”_

_“This sell-out crowd has erupted, and deservedly so for Samurai Jack!!!” Frylock said. “He demonstrated great speed and technical mastery, along with the right amount of strength and high-flying ability to earn him the victory against Rigby here tonight! And that combination of finishing maneuvers we just witnessed was nothing more than a message to the First PBS Kid. . .and the message was that he hadn’t lost a step. . .and that he is going to give their match this Sunday nothing less than his all!”_

_The referee raised Samurai Jack’s arm in victory as the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Smokey The Bear had a paw on the shoulder of Arthur Read, who could only look at the TV with a stern but nervous look on his face._

_“He didn’t have to use that much FORCE, Frylock!” Shake argued. “He had the match won after the knees to the head! He didn’t have to follow it up with a fucking PILEDRIVER OF DOOM!!! And the look on Arthur’s face right now proves that he knows the samurai is out of control! Aren’t samurai warriors taught the art of Zen??? This man is a f*cking HYPOCRITE, and a danger to himself and everyone in the XCW locker room! Someone tell Space Ghost to cancel the match!”_

_“Somehow, Shake, I don’t think that’s going to happen…” Frylock said, as Samurai Jack stood on a top turnbuckle in a corner, raising a fist high above his head to MASSIVE cheers from the crowd while he stared into the Titantron. “…because Arthur may look scared now, but he’s got Smokey by his side, who knows more than a thing or two about wrestling. . .and Samurai Jack demonstrated that his talents haven’t waned over the years. Samurai Jack wants the World Television Championship to go around the waist of a worthy champion. . .it’s time for Arthur to prove with no cheating whatsoever. . .that HE IS the worthy champion.”_

Samurai Jack continued to stare at the shot of Arthur Read and Smokey watching Samurai Jack’s post-match celebration on the Titantron until the show transitioned back to the backstage area, where Frylock was sitting on the barstool in front of a high-definition television.

 

“And so it is set! Samurai Jack and Arthur Read will compete this Sunday at XCW Shockwave with the XCW World Television Championship on the line!” Frylock said. “Will Arthur Read prove himself as a worthy champion. . .or will Samurai Jack defeat him and expose him for what he is?”

 

“There’s nothing to expose!!!” Shake insisted. “HE’S A GREAT CHAMPION, DAMMIT!!!”

 

Frylock sighed. “I think it’s time for a commercial break, but when we come back, we will look at everything involving the tag team division minus the champions, as well as what Tommy Vercetti has been up to since becoming Mr. Silver Lining! All that and more. . .right after this!”

 

Frylock looked into the camera with a smile until the show faded to a commercial break.

**And like that. . .**

**. . .**

**. . .IT”S DONE!!! I hope it was worth the wait!!!**

**Once again, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your patience in waiting for the next chapter. I know it took a long time for me to finally update this thing, but I did it, and I’m kicking this monthcap into overdrive! So much so, that my next update is guaranteed to come in the next few days!!...for real, I literally have one more segment to write in the next chapter, then I’ll be updating again. XD**

**That will come soon, but until then, READ, REACT AND REVIEW!!!!**


	50. XCW August Monthcap: Part 2

**No time for talk! It’s time for the new chapter of XCW!!! I only own my championships.**

 

As XCW Rewind returned from break, Frylock and Master Shake sat on barstools next to each other in front of a giant HD television inside a locker room.

 

“Welcome back to XCW Rewind!” greeted Frylock. “Before the break, we showed you everything that happened involving the Hardcore and Television title pictures, now we will take a look at the ever-growing tag team division! At Silver Lining, not only were new tag team champions crowned, but a slew of new talents made their backstage debuts, and made their intentions known! Case in point: the first-ever picks in the FWM Draft, the team of Twisted Villainy. Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude laid out a challenge to CJ Johnson and Niko Bellic, aka the ‘Bohan….Badasses”….”

 

“Now, THAT’S a name…” quipped Shake.

 

“…and their manager Brucie happily and loudly accepted it!” Frylock finished. “The two teams would make the most of the opportunity they made for themselves and put on quite a show when Monday Night Massacre visited Hell’s Kitchen, New York on the first episode after Silver Lining, but leave it to Brucie to be the catalyst for the chaos afterwards…”

 

_The show transitioned to the ring, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand._

_“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!”_

_“How I Could Just Kill A Man” by Cypress Hill played as CJ Johnson and Niko Bellic stepped onto the stage with Brucie, their manager behind them carrying a microphone._

_  
“AY!!! AY YO, CUT THE MUSIC!!! CUT THE GODDAMN MUSIC!!!” Brucie shouted, causing the music to drop. “WHAT THE F*CK IS UP, HELL’S KITCHEN?!?!?!”_

_The crowd gave Brucie a majority of boos, while the rest were apathetic._

_“It’s time for ME, BRUCIE B. KIBBUTZ, to introduce the PLAYERS on MY TEAM, and the FUTURE XCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!” Brucie shouted. “From the streets of Los Santos, and Liberty City, USA by way of Albania, they are CARL “CJ” JOHNSON and NIKO BELLIC….give it UP FOOOOOOR…..THE BOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN….”_

_Brucie took a DEEEEEEEP breath before exclaiming…._

_“…..BAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAAASSEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!”_

_Niko and CJ could be seen sighing from behind Brucie as he lowered his microphone and led his team down the ramp._

_“Well Shake, now that I’ve lost a couple frequencies, let’s go into the background of these two men and their manager…” Frylock said. “Carl ‘CJ’ Johnson has had minimal experience wrestling for UWE, while Niko Bellic is a former Hardcore Champion in Animated Universe Wrestling, the developmental territory of UCA. As for their mouthpiece, Brucie Kibbutz, last night was the first we’ve seen of him across the wrestling universe, and frankly, I’m already tired of looking at him, and from the looks of his clients, they are too!”_

_Brucie sits on the second rope, widening it open for CJ and Niko, who enter the ring by stepping above it. Niko climbs up a turnbuckle, scanning the crowd while CJ stands in front of a nearby corner, doing a last-second punching exercise._

_“I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about, Frylock!” Shake dismissed. “CJ and Niko are just keeping their focus on the ring! They’re as intimidating as they come, and don’t want to show any form of emotion to their opponents to keep that presence up! You also can’t forget these two men come from the same streets as Claude Speed and Tommy Vercetti. With those men as comrades, you can’t feel anything BUT fear for these two criminals!”_

_CJ and Niko stepped to their corner, looking up the ramp with anticipation until . . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .”Hurricane” by Kyuss played!!! The crowd erupted with cheers as_ _Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude walked out and down the ramp side by side!_

_“And their opponents . . .making their Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut . . . they are the first overall picks in the first-ever FWM Draft . . . the team of Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude . . . TWISTED VILLAINY!!!”_

_Twirlenkiller raised his fist in the air when he reached the bottom of the ramp while Jude rushed for the ropes, and hopped on the ring apron before front-flipping in the ring._

_“And here come not only XCW’s first picks overall in the 2014 FWM Draft, but also the first overall picks in the draft’s history!” Frylock declared. “And the crowd is happy to finally see this man Jude and the cyborg Twirlenkiller here in XCW! These two are fan favorites in Fiction Wrestling Entertainment, and after the Zyclun Killer made FWE history by having the most eliminations in the High Noon Rumble, he and Jude The Dude are ready and eager to make their presence felt in our tag team division!”_

_Jude took off his hat and put it "on" his heart before tossing it into to the crowd while Frederick stepped up the steel steps and stood in his corner, waiting for the bell to ring._

_“They may be mainstays in FWE, but this is an Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling ring they’re about to fight in, Frylock!” Shake said. “These are practically the big leagues and while FWE is fresh on the heels of winning its first-ever FWA, the competition Twisted Villainy had in its tag team division pales in comparison to ours! The South Park Four, the Wild Dudes, and the Knighthood of Assassins are all teams with experience, and tonight will be very telling as to whether or not Frederick and Jude are tough enough to take on the likes of ‘em!”_

_The bell rang and the match began with Jude The Dude and Niko Bellic standing in opposite corners, until both men charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring for a tie-up, until Jude picked Niko up off his feet and rammed him back first into the corner! Jude hit him the temples with furious right and left hands until Niko knocked Jude off of him with an uppercut to his chin! Niko then hit Jude with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping him across the ring and rearing his fist back for another clothesline . . . only for Jude to knock him down with a surprise dropkick! Jude quickly went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Niko kicked out!!! Jude The Dude then pulled Niko up to his feet and slapped him in the chest with a chop, with the crowd chanting “WOOO!” in unison with it! Jude continued to hit Niko with chop after chop until he was driven into the corner, then Jude Irish whipped Niko across the ring into the opposing corner before hitting him with a stinger splash, and then planted him with a swinging neckbreaker! Jude went for another cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2 . . . Niko kicked out!_

_Jude pulled Niko up by the jacket and went for another right hand only for Niko to catch it and fire back with a right hand of his own! Niko Irish whipped Jude across the ring and slugged him in the forehead with a head punch! Jude reeled toward the ropes behind him until Niko put him in a waist lock and took him down with a back suplex! Niko then stood back up while Jude rolled up to his feet . . . only for Niko to hit him in the chest with a throat thrust, then take him down with a sitout jawbreaker!_

_“YEEEEEAAAAAH!!!!” Brucie shouted into his microphone. “SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK, COWBOY!!!”_

_“Does Brucie even know what wrestler Niko’s fighting?” Frylock wondered, as Niko ignored Brucie while going for the cover 1. . .2. . .Jude kicked out!!!_

_“C’MON YOU DRUNK!!! STAY DOWN!!!” Brucie shouted, as Niko pulled Jude up by his shirt and slugged him with a right hand in the temple before lifting him up and dropping him to the mat with a scoop slam! Niko then pulled Jude into his corner before tagging in CJ Johnson, who helped Niko mudhole stomp Jude in the corner. CJ then pulled Jude up to his feet and hammered away at his chest and head with thunderous right and left hands before throwing him out of the corner with a side headlock takedown! CJ then hit Jude in the chest with a couple angry stomps before pulling Jude up to his feet and back down again with a jumping armbreaker! CJ went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Jude kicked out!!!_

_“So far the Bohan Badasses are taking Jude The Dude by surprise!” Frylock declared. “But it’s only a matter of time before the big man, Frederick von Twirlenkiller, finds his way into the match!”_

_“And when he does, he’ll be reduced to a bucket of bolts!” Shake quipped, as CJ pulled Jude up to his feet…only for Jude to slug him in the chest with a throat thrust! Jude then lifted CJ up and dropped him on his head with an elevated DDT! Jude then ran against the ropes behind him before landing a falling knee to the chest of CJ! Jude went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .CJ kicked out!!! Jude pulled CJ up to his feet and tossed him into a corner before slugging him with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping him across the ring into the opposite corner. CJ bounced HARD out of the corner toward the center of the ring. . ._

_. . .and right into a jumping elbow smash from Jude! Jude went for the cover 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .CJ kicked out!!!! Jude couldn’t believe it!_

_“Oh my God, how close was that???” Frylock asked aloud, as Jude sat up from the cover before turning his attention back over to CJ…and locking him in a sleeper hold!_

_“But now Jude The Dude is keeping CJ grounded with that sleeper hold!” Frylock observed. “Will CJ tap out???”_

_“If he’s as tough as his manager says he is, he won’t!” Shake declared, as Jude applied more pressure to CJ’s head and neck! CJ waved his arms around and tried to elbow Jude, attempting to fight out of the hold but to no avail. The referee asked CJ if he wanted to quit but he shook his head no, coughing, gasping and wheezing for breath. . . ._

_. . .until Niko broke up the submission maneuver with a diving elbow drop from the top rope!!!_

_“NOOOO!!! Niko Bellic broke up the sleeper hold!” Frylock shouted, as CJ pushed himself onto all fours, trying to regain his bearings._

_  
“YEAH!!! HOW D’YA LIKE THAT SHIT, BITCH?!?!” shouted Brucie at ringside, to an eye roll from Niko…_

_…WHO WAS BLINDSIDED BY A MASSIVE PUNCH TO THE TEMPLE BY FREDERICK VON TWIRLENKILLER!!!_

_“And the Zyclun Killer has come to the aid of his tag team partner by forcing himself into this match!” Frylock screamed._

_“This debut for both of these tag teams is starting to get out of hand!” Shake declared, as Frederick grabbed Niko by the collar of his jacket. . .and tossed him HARD onto the ringside floor over the top rope! The referee ordered Frederick von Twirlenkiller back to his corner, and the Zyclun Killer complied upon seeing Niko still down on the floor outside the ring. Meanwhile, Jude and CJ staggered up to their feet and began trading right hands upon meeting in the center of the ring. Jude and CJ continued punching each other in their respective temples, their strikes growing more and more powerful with every punch, until CJ took Jude by surprise with a boxer jab with his left hand! CJ then backed up Jude against the ropes with a series of boxer jabs before Irish whipping him across the ring . . ._

_. . ._

_. . . AND DROPPING HIM WITH A FACEBREAKER DDT ON THE BOUNCEBACK!!!_

_“GOOD LORD!!! JUDE THE DUDE’S BRAINS HAVE BEEN SCRAMBLED!!!” Frylock cringed. “He’s been in this ring for the majority of this match; he BETTER make a tag before CJ does any more damage!”_

_“YEAH!!! I FUCKIN’ LOVE IT, MAN!!! ICE COLD MOTHERF*CKER!!!!” Brucie shouted from ringside, as CJ ignored it while going for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 JUDE KICKED OUT!!! CJ punched the mat with frustration!!!_

_“CJ almost got the victory for himself and Niko!” Frylock said. “But now what is the Grove Street OG going to do?”_

_“He’s gotta go for another high impact move, or else Brucie’s gonna take of it himself!” Shake predicted, as CJ pulled Jude up to his feet and Irish whipped him into a nearby corner. CJ followed Jude into the corner and hit him with a clothesline before taking him back down with a hip toss, then Irish whipping him into the opposite corner. As Jude bounced HARD out of the corner from the impact, CJ charged toward Jude, leaping forward for a Lou Thesz Press---_

_\---ONLY FOR JUDE TO CLOCK CJ IN THE FACE WITH A SUPERKICK!!!!_

_“SUPERKICK FROM OUTTA NOWHERE!!!!” Frylock shouted. “JUDE THE DUDE WENT FOR A DESPERATION MANUEVER, AND THE RISK PAID OFF!!!!”_

_Jude crawled on top of CJ for a cover, weakly hooking the leg as the referee made the count! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 CJ KICKED OUT!!!_

_“NOOOOOO!!!!! CJ BARELY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!” Frylock screamed, as Jude rolled off the cover, looking up at the lights in exasperation before he and CJ began to crawl toward their corners for a tag!!!_

_  
“Both of these two teams have put on one hell of a show in their respective debuts!” Frylock declared. “But Jude The Dude has been the only representative of Twisted Villainy to legally fight in this match, and Frederick von Twirlenkiller has been aching to get into this match!!! A tag here could put the first overall picks of the inaugural FWM Draft back in the driver’s seat!”_

_“Don’t forget about Niko, Frylock!” Shake insisted. “He started this match and is eager to get back in it! Plus, after the cheap shot from the Zyclun Killer, I gotta feeling that he’ll want to do nothing more than give that freakin’ cyborg a piece of his mind!”_

_“C’MON, SLAP ‘IM, CHRIS BROWN STYLE!!!” Brucie shouted from ringside._

_“……aaaaaand there’s going to be a controversy about THAT…” Frylock added, while_ _Frederick and Niko slapped their hands against the top corners in front of them as their partners crawled closer toward them. Jude and CJ extended their hands out. . ._

_. . .reached for their partners hands. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tags, with Niko getting tagged in just a second before Frederick!!!_

_“AND HERE THEY COME!!!” Frylock shouted. “Hardcore specialist versus Cyborg Behemoth! Who’s gonna pick up the pinfall for their team???”_

_Niko and Frederick charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring, upon which, Niko immediately hit Frederick in the chest with a swift right hand. Frederick winced in pain as Niko kept battling with punch after punch that drove Frederick against the ropes until Frederick got a grip on Niko’s right arm! Niko then went for a left hand. . .but Frederick caught Niko’s left arm before it could make impact! Frederick then lifted Niko up. . .and dropped Niko on his back with a chokebomb!!! Frederick then stepped against the ropes behind him. . .strode toward Niko. . ._

_. . .AND LANDED A HUGE LEG DROP ONTO NIKO!!!_

_“And Frederick lands a leg drop onto the chest of Niko Bellic!” Frylock called. “A move like that from a being as big as Frederick is all kinds of painful!”_

_Frederick went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 NIKO KICKED OUT!!!!_

_Frederick hurriedly pulled Niko up to his feet and slugged him with a vicious right hand that sent Niko reeling against the ropes behind him. Niko strode toward Frederick, who was going for a big boot . . . but Niko spun out of the way and slugged Frederick with a hard right hand to his temple!_  
  
“Niko Bellic couldn’t find an opening against the powerhouse Twirlenkiller, so he MADE one!” Frylock said. “Will it be enough?”

_Frederick winced in pain before looking back at Niko . . . who was relentless with his swift and powerful right and left hands. Niko eventually backed Frederick into a corner chest-first before gripping his right arm from behind . . . and taking him down with a backbreaker!!! Frederick then rolled onto his back about to sit up. . .only to get a boot to the face from Niko for his troubles!!! Niko then ran into the opposite corner. . ._

_. . .before charging back out of it. . ._

_. . .AND STRIKING FREDERICK IN THE BACK OF HIS HEAD WITH ANOTHER BOOT!!!! Niko then ran into the corner in front of him, and turned toward Frederick. . ._

_. . . before rearing backward. . ._

_. . ._

_. . . charging out of the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . . AND CLOCKED FREDERICK IN THE FACE WITH ONE FINAL BOOT!!!!_

_“A trifecta of running boots is something Niko picked up right out of the streets of Liberty City!” Frylock declared. “And they may have gotten Niko the victory for himself and CJ!”_

_Niko went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 FREDERICK KICKED OUT!!!! Niko shot up from the cover, grimacing in confusion!_

_“NO!!!! FREDERICK STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” Frylock screamed. “Now what kind of tricks will Niko pull out of his sleeve this time?”_  
  


_“He better capitalize quick!” Shake added. “Frederick may be up, but he may not know where he is right now!”_

_Niko then stood up before pulling Frederick up by the arm . . ._

_. . .and set Frederick up for a piledriver?_

_“THERE’S NO WAY…” Shake called, while Brucie screamed, “DO IT, NIKO!!! MAKE ‘IM THE CHRISTOPHER REEVE OF ROBOTS!!!”_

_“Niko’s going for it ALL here….but does he have the power to drop the big man on his head???” Frylock wondered, as Niko gripped onto Twirlenkiller’s sides . . ._

_. . ._

_. . . lifted him with all his might . . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but HAD to let go from all the strain!!!_

_“Niko thought he had weakened the Zyclun Killer enough, but Twirlenkiller is just too big for him to lift!” Frylock declared._

_  
“Meh. I give him a C for effort…” Shake said, as Niko took a few steps backward, selling his lower back in pain. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL HE WAS CLOCKED IN THE FACE BY A CLOTHESLINE FROM TWIRLENKILLER!!!_

_“OOOOOOOOH!!!! Talk about a rebound maneuver!” Frylock shouted, as Niko staggered up to his knees in a daze until Frederick lifted him high off the mat. . .stepped around the ring. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM!!! Frederick then stood up at the feet of Niko. . ._

_. . .gripped him by his legs. . ._

_. . .AND BEGAN TO SPIN HIM AROUND IN A GIANT SWING!!!_

_The crowd counted aloud as Frederick spun Niko off the mat while the count reached five. . ._

_. . . then SIX. . ._

_. . .then SEVEN. . ._

_. . . EIGHT. . ._

_. . . NINE. . ._

_. . .until Frederick FINALLY let go, throwing Niko into a corner upon reaching ten!!! Niko just laid in the bottom of the turnbuckle, completely and utterly dazed . . ._

_. . .until Frederick pulled him into the center of the ring and laid down on top of him for a pin attempt! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 NIKO KICKED OUT!!! Frederick groaned in frustration!_

_Frederick reached a standing position before reaching down to Niko. . ._

_. . .and grabbed him by the throat!!!_

_Frederick lifted Niko up off the mat. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .then HIGH above his shoulders. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BUT NIKO BROKE FREE OF FREDERICK’S GRIP WITH A KNEE TO THE FACE!!! Niko kept a grip around Frederick’s neck, REFUSING to let go. . ._

_. . .until he drove Frederick back down to the mat with a White Russian legsweep!!!_

_“The White Russian legsweep is still effective, kendo stick or no kendo stick!” Frylock called, as Niko staggered up to his feet, staring Frederick down as he slowly rose to his knees. Frederick looked up at Niko, who nailed him in the face with a swift kick becfore running across the ring, bounced off the ropes. . ._

_. . .and took down Frederick before he could get back up with a bulldog!!!_

_“Frederick’s face eats the mat once again!!! Can Niko follow up???” Frylock called, as Niko backed himself up into the center of the ring, taunting for Frederick to get up. The Zyclun Killer reached onto the middle rope and slowly but surely pulled himself up to his feet, staggering as he turned around to face Niko. . ._

_. . . WHO IMMEDIATELY LEAPT UP AND DROVE FREDERICK BACK DOWN TO THE MAT FACE-FIRST WITH A CUTTER!!!!_

_“AND NIKO DOES MORE DAMAGE TO FREDERICK’S HEAD WITH A CUTTER!!!” Frylock called. “And by God, Shake, that’s GOTTA be the move that knocked the giant out cold!!!”_

_Niko pushed Frederick onto his back with all his might before laying on top of him and weakly hooking the leg for a pin attempt!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 FREDERICK GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!!_

_“FREDERICK IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!” Frylock shouted, as Niko punched the mat repeatedly with anger!!!_

_“WHAT THE FUCK IS GONNA KNOCK THIS CYBORG OUT???” Shake exclaimed, as Niko rose up to his feet, stepped toward a nearby corner and climbed up to the top rope!_

_“Straight outta Bohan to XCW, Niko Bellic is looking to go high-risk!!!” Frylock called. “He’s going for the dagger in the heart of Twirlenkiller!”_

_Niko sized Frederick up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before leaping off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TAKING FREDERICK DOWN WITH A FLYING CLOTHESLINE—NO!!!!_

_. . ._

_FREDERICK CAUGHT NIKO IN MID-AIR. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND THREW HIM ACROSS THE RING WITH A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!!!_

_“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY FREDERICK MAY NOT KNOW WHERE HE IS, BUT HE SHOULD KNOW HE JUST TOSSED NIKO ACROSS THE RING LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly, as Frederick got up from taking a knee, trying to shake his head back into reality and regain his bearings. Frederick then drug Niko back into the center of the ring. . ._

_. . .looked into his eyes and could be heard saying, “. . .now THIS is a DDT. . . “_

_. . ._

_. . . before hooking Niko’s arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING NIKO TO THE MAT HEAD-FIRST WITH THE EAST AND WEST (Double Arm DDT)!!!!_

_“THE EAST AND WEST CONNECTS!!!!” Frylock called. “And that’s gotta be all of it!!!”_

_Frederick rolled Niko onto his back and went for another cover, 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999 BRUCIE PUT NIKO’S FOOT ON THE ROPE!!!!_

_“OF COURSE THE LOUDMOUTH MANAGER TOOK MATTERS INTO HIS OWN HANDS!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly as Frederick rose up to one knee from the cover, staring DAGGERS into the eyes of Brucie, who took a few steps back from the ring, raising his hands up and screaming, “HANDS OFF, BRO!!! HANDS OFF!!!! I DIDN’T DO NOTHIN’!!!”_

_Frederick stood up, never taking his eyes off Brucie, who continued to yell, “WHAT? YOU WANNA FIGHT ME??? COME AT ME BRO!!! I’LL TURN YOU INTO SCRAP METAL!!!”_

_Frederick just glared at Brucie before turning back around to face Niko. . ._

_. . .WHO IMMEDIATELY TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A FALLING NECKBREAKER!!!_

_  
“NECKBREAKER OFF THE DISTRACTION!!!” Frylock yelled. “ DAMMIT!!! Brucie helped Niko, whether Niko wanted it or not!”_

_  
“You GOTTA love the energy of Brucie Kibbutz! The man’s passion is really benefitting the Bohan Badasses!” Shake insisted, as Niko pulled Frederick back up to his feet with all the strength he had before slugging him in the face and chest with a flurry of right hands until the Zyclun Killer was reeling and groggy. Then Niko spun around to Frederick’s back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .gripped him in a headlock. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH AN INVERTED DDT!!!!_

_“YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! I MANAGE THE BEST TEAM!!!” Brucie shouted. “SERIOUSLY, I’M RIPPED!!!!”_

_“….I’m REALLY not sure how those two abilities are linked…” Frylock deadpanned. “…but Niko just planted Frederick!!! Is that enough to render the robot lifeless????”_

_  
Niko fell to his knees before draping himself over Frederick for the cover! The referee made the count 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999999999 FREDERICK KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“TWIRLENKILLER KICKED OUT!!!! TWIRLENKILLER KICKED OUT!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd EXPLODED with cheers while Niko sat up from the cover, slapping the mat while Brucie toppled over the ringside steps on the floor!_

_  
“HOW THE HELL IS HE STILL IN THIS THING??? BRUCIE’S ABOUT TO ROID RAGE OUT HERE!!!” Shake added, as Niko staggered up from the cover, glaring at Twirlenkiller with narrowed, sinister eyes as he pulled Frederick up to his knees with him by both arms._

_“From the look in Niko’s eyes, he’s ready to break out his last resort. . .and sure enough, he’s carried it over from his tenure in AUW!!!” Frylock declared, as Niko kneed Frederick in the chest before hooking both his arms. . ._

_. . . raised a leg. . ._

_. . . AND DROVE FREDERICK DOWN HEAD-FIRST WITH THE GRAND THEFT AUTO (Futureshock DDT)---_

_\---or, he WOULD HAVE, IF FREDERICK DIDN’T CHARGE FORWARD AND DRIVE NIKO BACK-FIRST INTO HIS CORNER!!!_

_“FREDERICK STOPPED THE GRAND THEFT AUTO!!! AND NOW HE’S GOT NIKO STUCK BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE!!!” Frylock shouted while Niko winced in pain upon making impact with the corner. Meanwhile, Frederick turned his head up to look into the eyes of CJ. . ._

_. . .AND KNOCK HIM OFF THE RING APRON WITH A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!!!_

_“THE ZYCLUN KILLER ISN’T TAKING ANY CHANCES WITH CJ ON THE APRON!!!” Frylock added, as Frederick turned his attention back to Niko, who was stumbling back to the center of the ring. . ._

_. . . AND LIFTED HIM ONTO HIS SHOULDERS!!!_

_“And now Frederick von Twirlenkiller is in the driver’s seat!!! He’s about to take Niko for a ride!!!” Frylock declared, as Frederick stepped toward his corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DRIVING NIKO ONTO THE MAT WITH DEAD AIR (Death Valley Driver)!!!!_

_“DEAD AIR CONNECTS!!!!” Frylock shouted, as Frederick stepped toward his corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and tagged in Jude, who was perched on the top rope!!!_

_“And Frederick tags back in the man who fought the longest in this tag team matchup. . .Jude looks like he’s ready to close this match out!!!” Frylock declared, as Jude rose up to a standing position on the top rope. . ._

_. . .sized Niko up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before leaping off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LANDED THE FIVE BULLETS FROG SPLASH (Five Star Frog Splash) ONTO NIKO!!!_

_“JUDE LANDED THE FIVE-BULLETS FROG SPLASH!!!” Frylock shouted unintelligibly before Jude crawled on top of Niko for the cover!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!_

_“And the first overall picks in the first-ever FWM Draft pick up the victory!!!” Frylock declared, as Jude rose up to his feet, selling his ribs after the bell rang!_

_“The winners of this match. . .Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude. . .TWISTEEEEEEED VILLAINYYYYYYYYY!!!!!”_

_“It was a long, hard-fought match between both of these two debuting teams, but in the end, it was Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude that earned the victory!” Frylock said. “But both of these teams wanted to make their presence known in this company after their first match, and they did in their own way. In victory, Twisted Villainy demonstrated their power and tenacity, while the Bohan Badasses showcased a grounded, no-holds barred style of brawling. But at the end of the day, power and tenacity won the match, and the XCW careers of Jude and Frederick are off to a damn good start.”_

_The referee raised Frederick and Jude’s arms in victory, and the two of them stepped toward the side of the ring facing the ramp upon hearing an obscenity. The MadWorld anti-villains glared at Brucie, who was shouting uncontrollably at them as he, CJ and Niko stepped up the ramp._

_“You REALLY think you’re ALPHA, BROS???” Brucie screamed. “THIS AIN’T OVER BY A LOOOONG FUCKIN’ SHOT!!!! YOU AIN’T SEEN THE LAST OF US!!! WE’RE GENETICALLY SUPERIOR THAN ALL O’ Y’ALL, AND WE’LL PROVE IT NEXT TIME!!!”_

_“Aw, come on, Frylock!” Shake attested. “You can’t forget that the Bohan Badasses also fought with PASSION and ENERGY, and it’s all thanks to their manager, Brucie! Those guys are as tough as they come, and they take no prisoners! With the leadership and charisma of Mister Kibbutz, they’ll be in the thick of XCW’s growing tag team division for the forseeable future, and their manager will make sure of it!”_

_“…..somehow, I think we will see them again, Shake….” Frylock deadpanned, “….whether we like it, or not….”_

 

“If we’re gonna win, WE NEED US SOME BULL SHARK TESTOSTERONE UP IN HERE!!!” Brucie shouted, to cringes from Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude, who continued staring them down until the show transitioned to earlier in the Monday Night Massacre episode, as two local jobbers by the names of Stephen O’Bannon and Ren Tillerman stood in the center of the ring.

 

“But that’s not all!” Frylock said. “Because two MORE tag teams had a debut match of their own in Hell’s Kitchen, New York, and it was a. . .er. . .well, just watch the match and see what unfolded for yourself. . .once again, viewer discretion is advised.”

 

_“The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Washington, DC. . .the team of Stephen O’Bannon and Ren Tillerman!”_

_The crowd didn’t even bother giving the two scrawny men a reaction as Stephen took the microphone from Carl Brutanandilewski._

_“I just wanted to say that Ren and I are grateful to be in an XCW ring tonight, and that this match is the first of many matches to come! Because we are going to be a great tag team! We’re gonna win so much, you’ll get tired of---“_

_\---but then Stephen was cut off. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .by “Monster” by Kanye West. . ._

_. . .AND SOLOMON GRUNDY AND BIZARRO WERE BEING LED DOWN THE RAMP BY TWO-FACE!!!_

_“…..well, Stephen, Ren…….it’s been nice knowin’ ya….” Frylock said, as Solomon Grundy and Bizarro lumbered down the ramp to a chorus of boos, staring down Ren and Stephen._

_“And their opponents. . .making their Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut, being accompanied to the ring by Harvey “Two-Face” Dent. . .the team of Solomon Grundy and Bizarro. . .THE OUTCASTS!!!”_

_“Solomon Grundy and Bizarro were slated to make their in-ring debut in the Interdimensional Wrestling Federation, but the company folded before they could even throw a punch.” Frylock informed. “Solomon Grundy and Bizarro were slated to make their in-ring debut in the Interdimensional Wrestling Federation, but the company folded before they could even throw a punch. But well before Silver Lining, Commissioner Space Ghost put a bid on their contracts at that company’s auction, and now they and their manager Two-Face are full-fledged members of the XCW roster!”_

_“These two monsters already made their presence felt last night at Silver Lining when they ambushed Claude Speed after the Silver Lining ladder match!” Shake added. “And all Two-Face told him was that the real games were about to begin. . .I don’t know what that means, other than the fact it can’t be good for Liberty City’s Lucifer, who sadly couldn’t be here tonight thanks to the pain he suffered at the hands of these beasts, as well as the Silver Lining ladder match! But I got a feeling that when he returns, the vacancy he leaves at the hospital will be taken up by these guys…”_

_The bell rang and the match began with Solomon and Ren charging toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring as Ren hit Solomon in the chest. . .but Solomon Grundy barely felt a thing before toppling Ren down to the mat with a HUGE clothesline!!!_

_“Somehow, Shake…I think you’re right…” Frylock agreed, as Solomon pulled Ren up to his feet and wrapped his arms around him before sending Ren FLYING across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex!!! Ren screamed in agonizing pain upon making impact with the mat until Solomon pulled Ren up and drove him into his corner, choking him against the top rope as he muttered, ‘Solomon Grundy born on a Monday…’ while raising his open hand. . ._

_. . .AND SLAPPING REN ACROSS THE CHEST SO HARD, HE LEFT A RED HANDPRINT!!!!_

_“GOOD LORD!!! SOLOMON GRUNDY IS JUST HAVING HIS WAY WITH REN TILLERMAN!!!” Frylock shouted, as Solomon tagged in Bizarro, who climbed up to the top rope!_

_“This guy is better off as a gas station attendant…” Shake quipped, as Bizarro sized Ren up before leaping off the top rope. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING HIM BACK DOWN WITH A DIVING SPEAR!!! Bizarro stepped after Ren, who crawled toward his corner and tagged in Stephen, who shook his head violently with fear!!!_

_“Stephen O’Bannon doesn’t want any part of The Outcasts!” Frylock observed. “But now he’s the legal man!!!”_

_Bizarro then grabbed Stephen by the hair before pulling him INTO the ring with a snapmare over all three ropes! Bizarro then pulled Stephen up by the hair once more before clubbing him upside the head with a series of strong right hands that sent him reeling around the ring. Bizarro then nailed Stephen in the chest with a kick before setting his head between his legs. . ._

_. . .lifting his feet off the ground. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE STEPHEN HEAD-FIRST ONTO THE MAT WITH A SPIKE PILEDRIVER!!!_

_“Stephen is LITERALLY lifeless…” Frylock said, as Bizarro pulled Stephen up and drug him to his corner before tagging Solomon back in, who was staring daggers at Stephen. Meanwhile, Bizarro turned his focus on Ren as he stepped to his. . .until Ren stepped off the ring apron and tried to run to the backstage area!_

_“Ren Tillerman’s high-tailing it outta here!” Shake said. “He can’t take another bump from these monsters!”_

_Ren made it to the foot of the ramp. . ._

_. . .BUT NOT UNTIL BIZARRO GRIPPED HIM BY HIS NECK!!!_

_“…..aaaaaaand he’s dead.” Shake deadpanned, as Bizarro drug him back into the ring, sliding him under the bottom rope before stepping over all three ropes behind him. Meanwhile, Solomon lifted Stephen high above his head for a good ten seconds. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM ON TOP OF REN WITH A MILITARY PRESS DROP!!!!_

_“STOP THIS MATCH!!!” Shake implored. “JUST STOP IT!!! THEY’RE ALREADY DEAD!!!”_

_Solomon Grundy and Bizarro then lifted Stephen up high above their heads. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM IN THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A DOUBLE POWERBOMB!!!_

_“And that BETTER be it…” Frylock said, as Solomon Grundy went for the cover 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!_

_“You could’ve counted FOREVER and he still wouldn’t kick out….” Shake said. “DAMN, that was brutal…”_

_Solomon Grundy looked out at the crowd with a sadistic smirk, rising up to a standing position as the bell rang._

_“The winners of this match. . .Solomon Grundy and Bizarro. . .THE OUTCASTS!!!!”_

_“You said it, Shake…” Frylock agreed. “Between Twisted Villainy and The Outcasts, XCW’s tag team division is starting to look more and more dangerous with every match! These two monsters were relentless in their pursuit of victory to the point of dismembering and destruction of their opponents! I fear ANY team that has to cross their paths in the near-future!”_

_The referee raised Solomon and Bizarro’s arms in victory as Bizarro screamed, “ME AM WINNER!!!!” at the crowd, who replied with a MASS of boos as Two-Face entered the ring above the second rope._

_“I also fear their grammar teachers…they’ve got their work cut out for ‘em.” Shake quipped. “And I fear ESPECIALLY for Claude Speed. . .and from the looks of Harvey Dent, we’re about to get some ANSWERS about their ambush of Liberty City’s Lucifer last night!...or at least, we BETTER…”_

_Two-Face was greeted by a chorus of boos from the fans as he stepped in between Solomon Grundy and Bizarro with a microphone in hand._

_“I’m a man of few words, so I’m gonna keep this short and sweet. . .” Two-Face growled, to MORE boos from the crowd. “. . .let it be known. . .now that we have FINALLY made our arrival into this industry. . .allow me to put the rest of this company’s tag division ON NOTICE. THESE OUTCASTS, Solomon Grundy AND Bizarro, will make it their mission to be the most powerful. . .the most dominant. . .and the most prolific tag team in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling! They are taking ALL comers…..and as their manager, I will make SURE that they get the matches that they crave. . .and DESERVE._

_And that brings me to another message I must deliver. . .this time. . ._

_. . .to CLAUDE SPEED.”_

_The crowd booed Two-Face as they knew he was referring to the Outcasts’ attack the night before, chanting, “YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!!” and “CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!! CLAUDE’S GONNA KILL YOU!!!!”_

_“No chance, because he AIN’T here tonight!!!” Two-Face snapped, to MORE boos from the crowd._

_“And it won’t happen any OTHER night, either…” Two-Face added, “. . .because he may have defeated The Joker in the Gas Chamber match he created at Pride and Glory. . .now the cavalry has arrived to make the rest of his life a living hell. It’s what the Clown Prince of Crime wanted. . .because he always had a Plan B. So Claude, consider this not just a message. . .but a FAIR WARNING. I know you like to fight first and ask questions later, but before you decide to step into an XCW arena next week. . .”_

_Two-Face then pulled out his lucky coin, before concluding his promo by saying. . ._

_“. . . think about your CHANCES.”_

_Two-Face lowered his arm and glared at the crowd as “Monster” by Kanye West faded back up in the arena._

_“Well, Shake. . .Two-Face has put the entire tag team division here in XCW, as well as Claude Speed, on notice. The Outcasts are looking to make an impact as a tag team, and as a thorn in the side of Liberty City’s Lucifer, all in the name of vengeance for what happened to the Joker at Pride and Glory! And after seeing how Solomon Grundy and Bizarro dominated their opponents tonight, I wouldn’t want to be Liberty City’s Lucifer right about now.”_

_“You got that right!” Shake agreed. “Claude’s got his work cut out for him!”_

 

Two-Face continued staring down the crowd with an evil grimace until the show transitioned to earlier in the Monday Night Massacre episode, where Ren and Stimpy were posing on opposite corners in the ring during their entrance.

 

“Twisted Villainy and The Outcasts weren’t the only tag teams to get a reception to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling that night, because Ren and Stimpy made their long-awaited return to Monday Night Massacre that night as well!” Frylock said in the voiceover. “They explained to the crowd why they were away for so long, what they did, and what they intend to do now that they are back in an XCW ring!”

 

_Ren and Stimpy were standing in the center of the ring holding microphones in their hands, scanning the crowd in awe as they were STILL yelling chants such as, “WELCOME BACK!!! WELCOME BACK!!!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”_

_Stimpy wiped a tear from his eye before speaking into the microphone. “Gosh, Ren. . .it sure is great to be back in XCW. . .”_

_The crowd ERUPTED into even more cheers as Ren nodded his head. “You’re absolutely right, Stimpy. . .it’s GREAT to be back. . .especially in a city like Hell’s Kitchen. . .”_

_The city’s inhabitants cheered even LOUDER upon hearing Ren endorse their home city._

_“And it’s even GREATER to hear you all welcome us back with open arms. . .” Ren added. “. . .but NOW I bet you have some questions. I’m sure you want to know why we vanished a few months ago . . . where we’ve been and what we’ve done . . . and ultimately, you want to know why we came back. And we’ll TELL you why we came back . . . but first, we need to give the new fans in the XCW audience. . .a history lesson._

_You see, long ago, we were mainstays on a controversial cartoon that pushed boundaries with its content. It was a show that was ahead of its time . . . and a few years after that, we were former World Tag Team Champions in the original incarnation of Extreme Championship Wrestling’s Ink and Blood Division. . .a company that was ALSO ahead of its time. And then almost 20 years later. . .we became the first-ever Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions! But four months later, after we lost to Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski in their debut match. . .we decided to go on a break. . . .not only because the ECW World Heavyweight Championship was being resurrected in a special one-night event, but also because we were able to reflect on our past. . .and understood we did NOT want to peak early in our careers as XCW Originals, just as we had peaked early in everything else!_

_With that realization, Stimpy and I felt that the time was right to go back to our roots. . .and compete in the tournament for that very belt!”_

_  
“Yeah! Although it wasn’t easy to decide who would fight in the tournament—“ Stimpy started to say, until—_

_“QUIET, STIMPY!!! You’re ruining the mood, you EEEEDIOT!!!!” Ren snapped, to chuckles and laughter from the crowd. “. . .aaaaaaaaaas I was saying. . .Stimpy and I drew straws, and I fought to a losing effort in the FIRST ROUND. . .but even then, it was good to spend some quality time back with old friends from Blood & Ink. . .but once the tournament was over. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .it was RIGHT back to training. We felt it was time to return to our home in XCW. . . because we felt that the time was right. With the slew of new competition that’s arrived in the division that WE built, there would be NO chance of us peaking as early as we did at this company’s inception. And FROM this new competition. . .we saw and heard a bunch of CRAP that we couldn’t STAND anymore. We heard tag teams spew about how they were ‘TIRED OF BEING IGNOOOOORED’….make excuses about their losses. . .and make empty promises. We know ALLLLLL about the Knighthood of Assassins. . .”_

_The crowd booed upon Ren’s namedrop of the heel stable._

_“. . .but the team that REALLY set us off. . .were Mordecai and Rigby. . .the WILD DUDES.”_

_The crowd booed even MORE as Ren finished his statement._

_“They strode into this company claiming they were going to take down ALL the legends stealing their spotlight. . .they strode into this company gloating about their accomplishments in several DEVELOPMENTAL TERRITORIES, like THAT means anything. . .and after ONE WIN in the big leagues, they said that they were gonna be a part of history in this company. Well, it needs to be said. . .that WE were the first tag team to make history in this company! WE set the extreme standard for tag team competition in this company. . .and WE were the first XCW Tag Team Champions! And now that we’ve returned to XCW, and wish to reclaim the Tag Team titles that WE revolutionized. . .we wish to send a message to Mordecai and Rigby. . .”_

_  
Stimpy stepped up to face Ren._

_“Hey, Ren. . .what is the message?” Stimpy wondered, to a grin from Ren, who looked out at the crowd before continuing to speak into the microphone._

_“The message, Stimpy. . .is that in order for these Wild Dudes to make history. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .THOSE EEEEDIOTS NEED TO GO THROUGH US.”_

_The crowd exploded into more cheers as Ren finished this statement, and Scott Steiner’s TNA theme faded back up._

 

“Strong words from the always intense Ren Hoek, who promised that he and Stimpy have returned to XCW to reclaim what’s rightfully theirs in the form of the XCW Tag Team titles, and to keep their stranglehold on the division that they built, all while keeping their status as the XCW standard for tag team excellence!” Shake said. “If you ask me, those are some LOFTY expectations to set…”

 

And Stimpy would return to action the following week in a singles match against Frederick von Twirlenkiller. The two powerhouses would fight in a competitive match against one another with both of their tag team partners at ringside, but little did they know that the statements they made the previous week wouldn’t get the most polite of responses, but it WOULD get one hell of a resolution. . .”

 

_The show picked up towards the end of the match, where Frederick von Twirlenkiller had lifted Stimpy up from the mat and had him high above his shoulders in a gorilla press. . ._

_. . .but Stimpy fell out of it behind Frederick and nailed him in the back with a dropkick!!! Frederick ran against off the ropes behind him and ran toward him on the bounceback. . .and immediately received a European uppercut from Stimpy!!! Frederick reeled backward from the impact until Stimpy ran toward him and took him down with a jumping crossbody block! Stimpy went for the cover, hooking one leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 FREDERICK KICKED OUT!!! Stimpy couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“How close was Stimpy to gaining the first victory for him and Ren since returning?” Frylock asked, as Stimpy rolled onto his chest, pushing himself up with Ren cheering him on from across the ring._

_“Singles competition is a much different beast than a tag team match, Frylock!” Shake replied. “It’s gonna take a LOT to take down Frederick, powerhouse or no powerhouse!”_

_Stimpy made it to his feet, reeling upon getting there. Stimpy then stepped toward Frederick and wailed away at his abdomen with a series of swift kicks. . ._

_. . .until Frederick caught Stimpy’s foot and swept it out from under him! Frederick then brought himself up to one knee before rising up to a standing position. Frederick then gripped both his sides before sending him flying across the ring with a belly-to-belly suplex!!! Stimpy winced in pain upon making impact with the mat before squirming toward the ring apron for a breather. . ._

_. . .but Frederick grabbed Stimpy by the feet, pulled him back into the center of the ring. . ._

_. . .AND BEGAN SPINNING HIM AROUND IN A GIANT SWING!!!_

_“This is UNBELIEVABLE. . .” Frylock said. “It’s been powerhouse against powerhouse for the entirety of this matchup, and to see a man like Frederick demonstrate a feat of strength like this is nothing short of remarkable!!!”_

_“And knowing Stimpy and his company, I won’t be surprised if he upchucks all over the mat when he’s done!” Shake added, while the crowd counted aloud as Frederick spun Stimpy off the mat while the count reached five. . ._

_. . . then SIX. . ._

_. . .then SEVEN. . ._

_. . . EIGHT. . ._

_. . . NINE. . ._

_. . .until Frederick FINALLY let go, throwing Stimpy into a corner upon reaching ten!!! Stimpy just laid in the bottom of the turnbuckle, completely and utterly dazed . . ._

_. . .until Frederick pulled him into the center of the ring and laid down on top of him for a pin attempt! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 STIMPY KICKED OUT!!! Frederick groaned in frustration!_

_“STIMPY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd erupted into cheers. “An already exciting match between the powerhouses in their respective tag teams keeps getting more unpredictable by the minute!”_

_Frederick then rose up to one knee before grabbing Stimpy by the back of the head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .rising up to a standing position. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SETTING STIMPY ON HIS SHOULDERS!!!_

_“Frederick doesn’t want to waste any more time!!!” Frylock declared. “He’s going for the kill right here and right now!!!”_

_Frederick stepped toward the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BUT STIMPY DROPPED OFF OF FREDERICK, LANDING ON THE MAT BEHIND HIM!!!_

_“NOOOO!!! STIMPY DROPPED OUT OF DEAD AIR!!!!” Frylock called, as Frederick turned around to face Stimpy, . . ._

_. . .who kicked Frederick in the gut before leaping up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .turning around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND GETTING TAKEN DOWN BY A CLOTHESLINE FROM MORDECAI!!!_

_“Wait a minute. . .what the hell is Mordecai doing out here???” Frylock shouted, while the referee called for the bell!_

_“Ren and Stimpy said last week when they returned that in order to make the history the Wild Dudes want to make, they have to go through them. . .” Shake reminded, “. . .I think Mordecai and Rigby are about to tell the first-ever XCW Tag Team Champions they’re ready and willing to do just that!!!”_

_Rigby then ran down the ramp to more boos from the crowd while Mordecai hammered away at Stimpy with thunderous right hands. . .until Frederick von Twirlenkiller broke it up by grabbing Mordecai by the throat. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND PLANTING MORDECAI ON THE MAT WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!_

_“Stimpy and Frederick were having a fantastic match until The Wild Dudes showed up. . .” Frylock declared. “. . .but it’s needless to say that the Zyclun Killer did not like Mordecai’s interference one bit!”_

_Meanwhile, Rigby had made it to the foot of the ramp. . .only for Ren to meet him by the ring apron and send him flying into the steel steps with a hurricanrana!!! Jude slid into the ring, checking on Frederick to make sure he was alright. . ._

_. . .UNTIL NIKO BELLIC CAME UP FROM BEHIND AND NAILED JUDE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!_

_“BAH GAWD AND THERE’S NIKO BELLIC!!! WHERE THE HELL DID HE COME FROM???” Frylock shouted, as CJ Johnson ran through the audience and leapt the barricade wearing a set of brass knuckles!!!_

_“AND THERE’S HIS PARTNER, CJ, WITH BRUCIE IN TOW!!!” Shake called, as the crowd continued raining boos at the Bohan Badasses! CJ slid into the ring, as Brucie shouted “GET ‘IM!!! GET ‘IM!!! GET THAT FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!!”_

_“THE BOHAN BADASSES ARE HERE TO LAY WASTE TO TWISTED VILLAINY!!!” Frylock shouted, as CJ began hammering away on Jude with swift right and left hands laden with brass knuckles, while Niko turned his attention to Frederick. . ._

_. . .and began BEATING HIM SENSELESS with the steel chair!!!_

_  
“Niko Bellic is finally showing off the destructive tendencies that got him a reign as the AUW Hardcore Champion!” Shake said, as after a FOURTH chair shot, Frederick was brought to his knees before Niko grabbed Frederick. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .hooked his arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE FREDERICK HEAD-FIRST ONTO THE MAT WITH THE GRAND THEFT AUTO!!!_

_“NIKO MAY HAVE INCAPACITATED THE ZYCLUN KILLER WITH THE GRAND THEFT AUTO!!!” Frylock shouted. “DAMN IT!!! THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND!!!”_

_Niko looked down at Frederick with a sadistic grin on his face. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL HE WAS BLINDSIDED BY AN ENZIGURI KICK FROM REN!!!_

_“THE ASTHMAHOUND CHIHUAHUA IS STANDING UP FOR TWISTED VILLAINY!!!” Frylock shouted. “He wants to give the Bohan Badasses a taste of his own medicine!”_

_Niko reeled against the ropes facing the commentary tables while CJ went for a brass-knuckle laden right hand to Ren’s temple. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO RECEIVE THE REN HOEKINATOR FOR HIS TROUBLES!!! Stimpy rolled back into the ring, standing by the ropes to the left of Ren. Across the ring, CJ reeled back toward Ren. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO LIFTED HIM UP BY HIS LEGS. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHILE STIMPY CAUGHT HIS HEAD AND ARMS. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED CJ ONTO THE MAT WITH THE R &S DEATH DROP!!!_

_“THE R &S DEATH DROP CONNECTS!!!” Frylock called, as Ren and Stimpy high-fived each other in the center of the ring. . ._

_. . .UNTIL MORDECAI AND RIGBY MADE THEIR WAY BACK INTO THE RING AND BEGAN BRAWLING WITH STIMPY AND REN!!!_

_“But the Wild Dudes are back up, and they’re going back to war with the first-ever XCW Tag Team Champions!!!” Shake yelled with excitement, as Ren drove Rigby into the corner and knocked him down with a corner clothesline before leaping onto the top rope. Ren sized Rigby up, waiting for him to get to a standing position before going for a missile dropkick. . ._

_. . .BUT RIGBY DUCKED, CAUSING REN TO ACCIDENTALLY HIT JUDE THE DUDE!!! Jude stumbled up to his feet, selling his jaw from all the pain before nailing Ren in the face with a HARD back elbow before leaping up. . ._

_. . .AND LANDING THE MEGA DRIVE (540 ENZIGURI KICK) ONTO REN’S HEAD!!!_

_“REN JUST GOT THE MEGA DRIVE KICK FOR HIS TROUBLES!!!” Frylock said, as Jude The Dude looked down at Ren, smirking with satisfaction. . ._

_. . .UNTIL SOLOMON GRUNDY AND BIZARRO HAD MADE THEIR WAY INTO THE RING FROM THE RAMP AND TOOK JUDE DOWN WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!_

_“AND NOW THE OUTCASTS ARE OUT HERE!!!” Frylock yelled unintelligibly. “IT IS ABSOLUTE ANARCHY IN THE RING RIGHT NOW!!!”_

_“Two-Face warned the tag team division last week that Grundy and Bizarro would be taking on all comers. . .it looks to me like the Outcasts didn’t want to wait anymore!” Shake declared, as Grundy and Bizarro turned around to face Frederick, who had finally made it back to a standing position. . ._

_. . .only for Grundy to kick him in the midsection. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before he and Bizarro lifted him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH A DOUBLE POWERBOMB!!!_

_  
“BAH GAWD SHAKE, I THINK I FELT THE ARENA SHAKE!!!” Frylock declared, as the Outcasts then turned their attention to Niko and CJ, who returned their strong right hands with brass-knuckle laden punches of their own!!_

_  
“Those two monsters just lifted a 5-ton robot OFF THE MAT, and now they’re holding their ground against two hardcore specialists!!!” Shake observed. “The Outcasts are absolutely INDESTRUCTIBLE!!!”_

_Meanwhile, Jude and Stimpy were exchanging right hands as Mordecai pulled Ren up to his feet while Rigby climbed up to the top rope. . ._

_. . .and leapt off to NAIL Ren in the face with a Death Punchie before Mordecai bounced off the ropes and ran toward Ren for a Death Punchie of his own. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO BE TAKEN DOWN BY A BATTERING RAM FROM AN ONCOMING ED!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!! THE MONOBROWED MONSTER ED!!!” Frylock screamed. “BAH GAWD WHERE THE HELL DID HE COME FROM?!?!”_

_“WE HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS WITH YOU!!!” Ed shouted only for Rigby to take him down with a Temp Check!!! Rigby then knelt down and grabbed Ed’s legs to start putting him in an Inverted Indian Deathlock. . ._

_. . .UNTIL EDDY SLID INTO THE RING AND KICKED RIGBY IN THE MIDSECTION!!!_

_“AND NOW THERE’S THE D-ED LEADER, EDDY!!!” Frylock added. “The Monobrowed Monster laid out why they’re out here, and now The D-Ed Leader is gonna follow it up. . .”_

_Eddy then hooked Rigby’s arms. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO THE MAT WITH AN EDIGREE!!!_

_“. . .WITH AN EDIGREE!!!” finished Frylock, as the crowd went WILD!!! “The Eds aren’t through with the Wild Dudes after Silver Lining, not by a longshot!!!”_

_Eddy and Ed high-fived each other in the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO BE TAKEN DOWN BY A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE FROM TWIRLENKILLER!!!!_

_“GOOD LORD!!! THE ZYCLUN KILLER IS BACK UP….and he is ANGRY!!!” Frylock declared, as Frederick pulled Rigby up and smothered him in the corner, only for Mordecai to catch him off-guard with a series of punches to the back, while Rigby fought out of the corner with a headbutt!!!! Elsewhere Stimpy and Jude were brawling in another corner. . .until Jude surprised Stimpy with a European uppercut before taking him down with a bulldog! Jude then ran toward the corner where Frederick was getting double teamed. . .and dropped Mordecai onto the mat with a reverse DDT!!! As Twisted Villainy and the Wild Dudes were brawling, the Eds had gotten back up to their feet. . ._

_. . .AND STOOD TOE-TO-TOE WITH REN AND STIMPY!!!_

_“Ohhhhhh….now THIS is a reunion…” Shake said, as the two prolific tag teams were engaged in a staredown!_

_“D-Generation Ed and Ren and Stimpy have had their fair share of history with each other since the inception of XCW. . .another chapter in this rivalry is about to be written!” Frylock declared. . ._

_. . .before Ed landed the first punch right between the eyes of Stimpy, and the crowd EXPLODED with cheers as the two tag teams began brawling with each other in the center of the ring!!!!_

_“IT IS ABSOLUTE ANARCHY OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, SHAKE!!!” Frylock screamed. “REN AND STIMPY ARE FIGHTING D-GENERATION ED! Twisted Villainy and The Wild Dudes are brawling! And The Outcasts are exchanging blows with the Bohan Badasses!!!”_

_  
“GET OUTTA THE WAY, FRYLOCK!!! BECAUSE THEY’RE COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!” Shake yelled, as Niko sent Bizarro topping over all three ropes and down to the ringside floor, while CJ slid out of the ring and drug the monster toward the announcer’s table!!!_

_“CJ Johnson is taking initiative for the Bohan Badasses, and setting up Bizarro for a one-way ticket to pain!” Frylock said, as Grundy slapped Niko in the corner with a VICIOUS slap to the chest. . ._

_. . .or, he WOULD have, if Niko didn’t catch his arm before it could make impact!!! Niko then nailed Grundy with a HARD three-punch combination to the temple, complete with a brass-knuckle laden fist!!! As Grundy collapsed onto the mat, Niko climbed up the top rope!_

_“OHHHHHHHHH YEAH! YOU GOT THIS, NIKO!!!!” Brucie cheered. “FLY, MOTHERFUCKER!!! FLY!!!!”_

_“The always charismatic Brucie is cheering Niko Bellic on. . .he’s encouraging this upcoming DESTRUCTION---“ Frylock said. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until Niko LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE BIZARRO THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER’S TABLE WITH A DIVING ELBOW DROP!!!!_

_“BAH GAWD NIKO LANDED IT!!!” Frylock shouted. “THE BRAWLER FROM ALBANIA LANDED THE ELBOW DROP AND JUST DROVE BIZARRO THROUGH THE TABLE!!!”_

_“YEAH!!! YEAH!!! NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! TEN OUTTA TEN, BA-BAAAAAY!!!!” shouted Brucie, as CJ looked on, nodding in satisfaction. . ._

_. . .UNTIL SOLOMON GRUNDY LEAPT FROM THE RING APRON AND CLOCKED CJ IN THE FACE WITH A DIVING DOUBLE AXE HANDLE!!!_

_  
“But now there’s ANOTHER monster the Badasses need to put down…” Frylock added. “…the Undead outcast known as SOLOMON GRUNDY…”_

_“He looks at the Bohan Badasses and doesn’t see CJ or Niko….he sees their mutual acquaintance from Liberty City. . .CLAUDE SPEED!!!” Shake declared, as Solomon Grundy pulled CJ up by his chain. . .then lifted him HIGH above his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM HEAD AND FACE-FIRST ACROSS THE BARRICADE!!!_

_“It looks like a car wreck out here. . .” Frylock foreboded. “D-Generation Ed and Ren and Stimpy are still brawling in the middle of the ring, Twisted Villainy and the Wild Dudes are going at it in a corner, and Solomon Grundy is having his WAY with CJ Johnson!!! WHEN THE HELL IS SOMEBODY GOING TO STOP THIS????”_

_In the corner, Jude had taken down Rigby with a Russian legsweep, upon which, Rigby rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope and looked for a weapon, selling his lower back from the pain of the move he had just received. As Frederick and Jude took down Mordecai with a double suplex, Rigby came back into the ring. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED FREDERICK ACROSS THE FACE REPEATEDLY WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!!_

_“GOOD GOD!!!! THIS IS HEINOUS---“ Frylock screamed, until—_

_“GENTLEMEN!!! GENTLEMEN, THAT IS ENOUGH!!!”_

_All the brawls slowly but surely came to a halt as everyone looked up at the Titantron. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and saw SPACE GHOST on the screen!!!_

_“I’ve come to understand that some of you teams have personal histories with each other. . .” Space Ghost said, looking at Ren and Stimpy and D-Generation Ed. “. . .while others want to make HISTORY…”_

_Mordecai and Rigby looked up at the Titantron, selling their backs and torsos in pain._

_“. . .or are just looking for a FIGHT. . .”_

_“We came. . .we saw one. . .AND WE CONQUERED THAT BITCH!!!” Brucie shouted at the Titantron, while Niko staggered up to his feet and slowly stepped toward him and CJ, who was selling his head._

_“. . .looking for avenge a lost victory. . .”_

_Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude looked up at the Titantron as Frederick nodded and muttered, “Damn straight…”_

_“. . .or are looking for mutual allies of your ENEMY. . .”_

_Two-Face glared up at the Titantron while Grundy and Bizarro stumbled to his sides, nodding in agreement._

_“. . .but I can’t afford to let you all destroy the arena any further tonight! So since you guys want to make such a big impact in this company, and have SO much animosity for each other. . .I suggest we attempt to resolve it in the same way the XCW Tag Division was rang in. So as the Commissioner of XCW, what I propose is THIS. . ._

_. . .at Shockwave. . .it will be. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .D-Generation Ed. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .the Outcasts. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .Ren and Stimpy. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .The Wild Dudes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .the Bohan Badasses. . ._

_. . ._

_AND Twisted Villainy. . ._

_. . .in a TAG TEAM TURMOIL MATCH!!! Two teams will start off and fight until a winner is decided. . .but then that winner will face ANOTHER team that comes out, chosen at random. . .and it keeps going until there’s one team left standing at the end of it all! And that one team. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WILL BE THE NUMBER ONE CONTENDERS FOR THE XCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!!! How do you guys like that?”_

_All twelve men in the ring and around the ringside area talk amongst their tag partners before looking up at the screen and nodding in agreement with smirks forming upon their faces._

_  
“I’m happy we could all come to an understanding!” Space Ghost said. “With that, I bid you all good night. . .and good luck.”_

All six teams began glaring at each other in staredowns with their respective rivals until the show transitioned back to the backstage area.

 

“So the table was set for Shockwave! It would be D-Ed, Ren and Stimpy, Twisted Villainy, the Bohan Badasses, The Outcasts and the Wild Dudes in a Tag Team Turmoil match!” Frylock informed. “But little did anyone expect that two more teams would want an extra seat. . .”

_The show transitioned to Space Ghost’s office, where the XCW Commissioner was sitting at his desk talking on his cell phone._

_“So THEY’RE on board, too? It just gets better and better. . .don’t worry, no arena will burn down on MY watch.”_

_Space Ghost paused, listening to the other end of his conversation while Mario stepped into his office, and stood on the other side of his desk._

_“Listen, I’ll call you right back, but between you and me, I’m leaning toward ‘yes’!. . .okay, sounds good. . .uh-huh. Goodbye!”_

__  
Space Ghost hung up his cell phone and looked up at Mario.  
  
“Oh, hey Mario—“

_“SPACE A-GHOST!!! You have a-to let a-me into the Tag a-Team Turmoil match at a-Shockwave!!! You know I don’t even a-need a qualifying match because of my pedigree, experience and general in-ring a-majesty! I may have a-lost the Silver Lining ladder match, and the TLC match the month a-before, but I am a-STILL the Champion of Life, and the only way to prove it is to conquer those other six teams of BOZOS!!! You tried to a-capitalize on my star power when XCW first a-began, you KNOW I’m a-the greatest of all time, you GOTTA let a-me in the match!”_

_“Yes, yes, Mario, I know all of that. . .some of which, I’d like to forget. . .” Space Ghost deadpanned, “. . .but I’ll pencil you and Luigi in if you can defeat—“_

_“But a-THAT’S the problem….thanks to the injuries he suffered last week from Arthur and Smokey The Bear’s assault, Luigi will out for the rest of the month! You have a-to believe I would have a-made my presence a-felt in the fight last week if I weren’t at the hospital a-tending to him! So the only a-way I can get back at him is by going after the people HE loves. . .and those are his a-CRONIES, Mordecai and Rigby—“_

_“Now Mario, I don’t disagree with THAT. . .but are you sure you’re thinking clearly?” Space Ghost asked, in genuine concern. “I’m asking as your friend because you’re asking for a spot in a tag team match. . .WITHOUT your brother! Either you’re REALLY passionate to avenge your brother. . .or you’re desperate to fill the void of something near and dear to you. . .”_

_“NO!!! PERISH THE THOUGHT! That is a load of a-HOGWASH!!!” Mario denied vehemently….perhaps a bit TOO vehemently. “The legacy of the Mario a-brothers must be defended, and as the sole brother standing, it is up a-to ME, the Greatest Champion Ever, AND a-the Champion of Life to do it! And I intend to do so in the Tag Team Turmoil match. . .just give a-me the night to find a partner! I am a-certain that a rising star would foam at the mouth at a chance to team with a man with prestige, talent, name recognition, history and a-SMASHING good looks. . .such as a-ME. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .MAAAAARIOOOOO!!!!”_

_Space Ghost blinked twice before leaning forward in his seat. “Well, I can certainly agree to those terms! Once you’ve found a partner, let me know and you’re in the Tag Team Turmoil match!”_

_“I’m a-glad you could a-see it a-my way. . .thank a-you, Space Ghost!!! I am ETERNALLY grate-a-ful! See you tonight!” Mario said, raising a peace sign as he left the office._

_“Take care!” Space Ghost said, before grimacing and dialing a number on his cell phone. He waited a few seconds until someone answered on the other end._

_“Force. . .? Hi, it’s Space Ghost. Listen, I’m worried about Mario. . .he misses the UCA World Heavyweight Championship. . .really, REALLY badly. . .”_

_Space Ghost listened to the other end of his phone for a few beats until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Spongebob was straining to lift a plastic dumbbell._

_“And Mario would indeed find himself a tag team partner for the Tag Team Turmoil match at Shockwave later that night, but it wouldn’t be within the age range he was looking for. . .but the opponents he and his partner would face later that night sure were!” Frylock said, before Mario stepped into Spongebob’s training room._

_“SPONGE-A-BOB!!! How are a-you, fellow legend and a-friend???” Mario exclaimed._

_“you and I banded together at Silver Lining to knock out our competition one-a-by-one, and did a good a-job of it! So good, that I must ask a-something of you: I’m in the Tag a-Team Turmoil match at Shockwave, but my poor brother Luigi is out for the rest of the month with an injury! You wish to retain your legacy, and I’m a-DUE for a title shot! Plus there’s a lot of benefits we could a-get from teaming with one another! Like---“_

_“---losing to XCW’s Next Great Tag Team???” asked. . ._

_. . .Mordecai and Rigby, as they stepped into Spongebob’s dressing room._

_“How’s it going, Spongejobber???” Mordecai jeered. “Preparing for another match to lose???”_

_“Or do you have a weenie bar to go to???” Rigby added. “Seriously, man…you should just head over there right now, because the ring ain’t safe for you anymore!”_

_  
“Yeah, dude!” insulted Mordecai. “Have you even won a MATCH since before Heatwave?”_

_“Are you even paying attention to us?” Rigby prodded. “I think Tommy knocked his brain out of his head, Mordecai.”_

_“I’m sorry, Mario and I were in the middle of a conversation….what do you two idiot slackers want?” Spongebob wondered._

_“WOAH! You’re quick tonight, dude! Your show’s slow, painful drop in quality could have been that fast!” Mordecai said._

_“Yeah, man!” concurred Rigby. “Then we’d be spared seven seasons, at least!”_

_Spongebob growled under his teeth. “HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE MY WORK AND I ARE PAST ITS PRIME!!! I’LL SHOW YOU!! Because I’m the TRUE Animation Icon! The Sponge Suplex Machine!! The---“_

_“---Sponge With A Thousand Gimmicks?” Mordecai quipped, before joining Rigby in a chant of, “OHHHHHHHHHHHHH….”_

_“Why don’t a-you beat up a-somebody your OWN age before harassing one of the greats???” Mario snapped._

_“Why don’t YOU go cry in a pile of trophies over your lost championship?” Mordecai snapped._

_“Yeah! And while you’re at it, think of an ORIGINAL comeback for once.” added Rigby._

_“Here’s a-something ORIGINAL for you. . .” Mario replied, “You two BULLIES face me and a-Spongebob TONIGHT in a tag a-team match. . .and FOR ONCE learn a thing or two about respecting your a-elders!”_

_“Hm…hm….FINE BY ME.” Responded Mordecai. “See you in the ring tonight….FORMER champ!!!”_

_“YEAHUH!!!” cried Rigby, as he followed Mordecai out of the dressing room. Meanwhile, Mario turned to face Spongebob._

_“Hey. . .thanks for sticking up for me just now, Mario. . .” Spongebob said._

_“No a-problem!” Mario responded. “Icons like us need a-to stick together. . .especially with snowflakes like a-THEM crowding the locker room with their sense of entitlement, and twirly mustaches and. . .thrift store clothes. . .anyway, so what do you say we show all these show all these loser rookie tag teams that we’re STILL their competition?”_

_“I’M READY……” Spongebob agreed, “….that is, provided of course, that we WIN tonight…”_

_“Oh we a-will. . .” Mario assured, “. . .because the Greatest Champion Ever. . .the Champion of Life. . .AND THE TRUE VIDEO GAME ICON. . .is A-ME. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .MAAAAAAAARIOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”_

_Mario posed triumphantly looking at the ceiling. . .while Spongebob raised a fist above his head, looking up at the ceiling and screaming, “I’M READY!!!!!”_

The two icons stayed in their triumphant poses until the show transitioned to the ring, where Mario and Mordecai were down in the center of the ring, crawling toward their corners.

 

“So Mario and Spongebob would team up against Mordecai and Rigby in a straightforward tag team match later that night, and boy, you could tell that Mario REALLY wanted Spongebob to team with him, because he put on a wrestling clinic! But once Spongebob got back in the match, he fought like his legacy depended on it. . .”

_Spongebob and Rigby slapped their hands against the top corners in front of them as their partners crawled closer toward them. Mario and Mordecai extended their hands out. . ._

_. . .reached for their partners hands. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tags, with Spongebob getting tagged in just a second before Rigby!!!_

_“And here comes the Sponge Suplex Machine!!!” Frylock declared, as Spongebob and Rigby charged toward each other and met in the center of the ring, only for Spongebob to knock Rigby down with a FIERCE clothesline!!! Rigby rolled back up to his feet, only for Spongebob to charge back toward him and take him down with a shoulder block! Rigby staggered back up to a standing position in a daze while Spongebob ran back toward him. . .and dropped him in the center of the ring with a spinning side slam!!!_

_“Spongebob Squarepants is a house of FIRE tonight! After going off on Rigby, will that barrage of brutality be enough to put him down?”_

_Spongebob fell on top of Rigby for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 RIGBY KICKED OUT!!! Spongebob couldn’t believe it!_

_“Oh my GOD, how close was that???” Frylock wondered, as Spongebob watched Rigby push himself up to his knees. . .before SLAPPING him HARD across the face!!!_

_“OOOOOOOOH!!! There’s the Spongebob we know and HATE…” Frylock cringed, as the crowd chanted, “YOU STILL SUCK!!! YOU STILL SUCK!!!”_

_“They may be watching the mischievous Rigby get beaten down, but they hate Spongebob more!” Shake declared. “And that’s just outright ABSURD, especially after everything the True Animation Icon’s done for them!”_

_Spongebob slapped Rigby across the face on the other cheek before pulling him up. . ._

_. . .and receiving a SWIFT kick to the midsection for his troubles!!! Rigby then hit Spongebob right between the eyes with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping Spongebob across the ring, and taking him down with a discus clothesline! Rigby then pulled Spongebob up. . .and drove him back down to the mat with a snap DDT!!! Rigby then strode toward a corner and climbed up the top rope!_

_“Rigby now looking to go high-risk for himself and Mordecai!” Frylock declared, as Rigby waited for Spongebob to get back up to his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before sizing him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and hamboning for whatever reason. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .THEN TAKING HIM BACK DOWN WITH HAMBONING (Diving Shoulder Block)!!!_

_“The Hamboning Shoulder Block connects!!!” Shake shouted. “HAHAHA!!!! What a move and what a team!”_

_Rigby then went for the cover, hooking both legs! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT!!! Rigby groaned, “UGGGGGHHHHH,” before standing up to his feet and pulling the Sponge Suplex Machine up to his feet. . .only to be blindsided by a thumb to the eye! Rigby stumbled backward, selling his face in pain until Spongebob caught him. . ._

_. . .AND THREW HIM ACROSS THE RING WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!!! Rigby stumbled up to his feet, reeling toward the center of the ring in a daze. . .until Spongebob gripped him by his sides. . .and threw him into a corner with a belly-to-belly suplex!!! Rigby had to pull himself up with the ropes before staggering back toward Spongebob. . ._

_. . .who lifted him onto his shoulders. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .stepped toward the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM WITH THE TIDAL WAVE!!!_

_“TIDAL WAVE CONNECTS!!!” Frylock called. “Will it give Spongebob a much-needed win???”_

_Spongebob knelt down and went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 MORDECAI STOMPED ON SPONGEBOB’S BACK, BREAKING UP THE THREE COUNT!!!_

_Spongebob rolled off Rigby, selling his back in pain while Mario entered the ring above the second rope and charged toward Mordecai for a clothesline. . .only for Mordecai to Irish whip him into his corner. Mario hit the corner as Mordecai began running toward him. . .and nailed him with a forearm smash! Mario reeled out of the corner. . .and right into a Clothesline From Hell from Mordecai that sent him over all three ropes and down to the ringside floor. Mordecai taunted, “YEAHUH!!!” in Mario’s direction as the referee ordered him back to his corner._

_“The tensions between the young team of the Wild Dudes, and the veterans Mario and Spongebob is only getting higher!” Frylock observed._

_Meanwhile, Spongebob finally made it up to his feet and was setting Rigby up for the Spongy Edge. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR RIGBY TO NAIL HIM WITH A LOW BLOW WITH THE REFEREE DISTRACTED!!!_

_“AND IT’S ABOUT TO EXPLODE THANKS TO THAT LOW BLOW!!!” added Frylock, as Spongebob sold his groin in pain while Mordecai made it back to his corner on the ring apron. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND RIGBY BROUGHT SPONGEBOB DOWN WITH THE TEMP CHECK!!!_

_“HAHAHAHA!!! THE TEMP CHECK CONNECTS!!!” Shake laughed. “The Wild Dudes are about to get the biggest victory of their careers!”_

_“And Mario’s gonna be without a tag partner for Tag Team Turmoil at Shockwave!” Frylock added, as Rigby went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT!!! Rigby groaned in disbelief!!!_

_“NOOOOOO!!!! SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT!!!” Frylock called, as Rigby sat up from the corner, turned toward Mordecai. . ._

_. . .and gave him a nod, which Mordecai returned. . ._

_. . .upon which, Rigby stepped toward a corner, and climbed up to the top rope!!!_

_“From the looks Mordecai and Rigby gave each other, I’d say they believe that the end is near for this match!” Frylock declared, as Rigby waited for Spongebob to stagger up to his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .sized Spongebob up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND—COULD NOT HIT THE FIRST DEATH PUNCHIE BECAUSE MARIO HAD SLIPPED UNDER HIM AND LIFTED HIM OFF HIS FEET!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!! LOOK AT MARIO!!!” Frylock shouted. “THE CHAMPION OF LIFE HAS RIGBY CAUGHT UP HIGH. . .AND THERE’S ONLY ONE PLACE LEFT TO GO!!!”_

_Mordecai stepped into the ring and charged toward the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR SPONGEBOB TO SEND HIM FLYING TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE RING WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!!!! Mordecai rolled out of the ring, selling his bumps in pain while Mario stepped onto the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .looked down at the mat. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DROPPING RIGBY ONTO HIS FACE WITH A TOP-ROPE ELECTRIC CHAIR FACEBUSTER!!!!_

_“OOOOOOOOOOH!!!! THAT’LL REARRANGE YOUR FACE FOR SURE!!!” cringed Frylock, as Mario and Spongebob met in the center of the ring, looked down at Rigby. . ._

_. . .then to each other. . ._

_. . .and smirked with satisfaction, as Mario waved his hand at Rigby as if to say, “You do the honors.”_

_“Whatever Mario and Spongebob have planned, it’s lead to a strong bonding moment between the two of them!” Frylock declared, as Spongebob pulled Rigby up to his feet and set his head in between himself and Mario. . ._

_. . .and that’s when the two veterans lifted Rigby up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ran forward. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED RIGBY ON HIS BACK WITH A DOUBLE SPONGY EDGE!!!_

_“A DOUBLE SPONGY EDGE!!! Mario is showing respect to his fellow icon!” Frylock called, as Spongebob pulled Rigby back into the center of the ring and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_“And that respect. . .”_

  1. _. ._



_“. . .is paying off in SPADES. . .”_

_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!_

_“. . .because Mario and Spongebob have just won this match!!!” Frylock finished, while Spongebob and Mario raised their arms above their heads in celebration as the bell rang!_

_“The winners of this match. . .the team of Mario. . .and SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!!”_

_The referee raised both men’s arms in victory and the two men shared a handshake in the center of the ring. The two men started to walk toward opposite corners and shout toward the fans booing them. . ._

_. . .UNTIL MARIO WAS BLINDSIDED BY A BIG BOOT FROM FREDERICK VON TWIRLENKILLER!!!_

_“HEY!!! FREDERICK VON TWIRLENKILLER OF TWISTED VILLAINY!!!” Frylock shouted. “HE MAY HAVE JUST KNOCKED MARIO INTO NEXT WEEK!!!”_

_“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR???” Shake shouted, while Spongebob charged toward Frederick. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO GET PLANTED BY THE SHOOTING STAR (Whisper In The Wind) BY JUDE THE DUDE!!!_

_“AND JUDE THE DUDE JUST TOOK OUT SPONGEBOB!!!” Frylock screamed, as the crowd erupted into cheers._

_“THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HEINOUS!!! WHY ARE THESE TWO EVEN OUT HERE???” Shake implored, as Frederick and Jude looked down at both Mario and Spongebob respectively, and said. . ._

_“. . .welcome to Tag Team Turmoil.”_

_“I think it’s all about sending a message to the newest entrants in the Tag Team Turmoil match at Shockwave!” Frylock declared. “The Wild Dudes aren’t the only up and coming tag team looking to make a name for themselves in XCW, and Twisted Villainy just made it very CLEAR to Mario and Spongebob!”_

Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude smirked with satisfaction at Mario and Spongebob, who now lay unconscious in the ring until the show transitioned to the ring later in the night, where Claude Speed was standing in a corner sizing up CJ Johnson, who was staggering up to his feet in the center of the ring.

“But they wouldn’t be the only new additions to Tag Team Turmoil on that edition of Monday Night Massacre, because the chaos of the tag team division would spread all the way to a returning Claude Speed, who would go one-on-one with his mutual friend, Carl “CJ” Johnson in a one-on-one match.” Frylock informed. “And let’s just say the results of this match would be impossible to. . . _. . .outcast. . .”_

_Claude Speed charged toward CJ Johnson for a spear. . ._

_. . .but the Grove Street OG rolled out of the way, sending Claude right into the corner—_

_\--only for Liberty City’s Lucifer to grip the ropes on both sides of the top turnbuckle before making impact. Claude then turned around and charged toward CJ, who nailed him right between the eyes with a three-punch combination. . .before leaping up and knocking Claude into the corner with a spinning wheel kick!!! CJ then charged toward Claude and hit him with a high knee before gripping onto Claude’s neck. . ._

_. . .and going for a running bulldog out of the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Claude caught CJ by his sides before lifting him up and dropping him with an Atomic Drop!!!! The Grove Street OG sold his lower back in pain as he staggered toward the center of the ring before turning around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND EATING A SPEAR FROM CLAUDE SPEED!!!_

_“THE SPEAR CONNECTS FROM LIBERTY CITY’S LUCIFER!!!” Frylock shouted as the crowd exploded with cheers while Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999 CJ KICKED OUT!!! CLAUDE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT!!!_

_“OH MY GOD, HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?!?!” Frylock exclaimed, as Claude rolled off the cover and slowly but surely pushed himself up to a standing position. Claude pulled CJ up to his feet and hit a right hand that sent the Grove Street OG reeling backward. Liberty City’s Lucifer then charged forward for a clothesline. . .but CJ ducked under it! He then ran against the ropes behind him. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED CLAUDE IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH A GAMENGIRI!!! Claude stumbled backward into the corner upon impact. Claude took a few beats to catch his breath before striding out of the corner. . ._

_. . .AND GETTING TAKEN DOWN WITH A JUMPING ARMBREAKER FROM CJ!!!_

_“THE GROVE STREET OG HAS THE RETURNING CLAUDE DOWN!!!” Frylock called, before CJ rolled Claude onto his back and went for a cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999999999 CLAUDE KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“How the HELL did Claude kick out???” Shake shouted. “CJ was a half-second away from the biggest win of his career!!!”_

_“This isn’t Claude’s first fight, Shake!” Frylock replied. “He’s went through foretold amounts of pain as a hardcore specialist. . .it’s gonna take a LOT to take him out for the count!”_

_CJ stood up from the cover, pulling Claude up by the arm with him. CJ then hooked Claude’s arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .reared his leg back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND HIT THE FACEBREAKER DD—NO!!! CLAUDE HIT CJ WITH A KNEE TO THE RIBS!!!_

_“CJ almost went for the kill, but Liberty City’s Lucifer wasn’t gonna let him have it!” Frylock declared, as Claude hit CJ in the ribs with another kick that finally broke CJ’s grip!!! CJ sold his ribs in pain until Claude grabbed CJ’s arm and Irish whipped him across the ring. Claude then ran toward CJ once he bounced back. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS!!! THE CROWD EXPLODED INTO CHEERS AS CLAUDE HAMMERED AWAY AT CJ’S HEAD WITH A SERIES OF RIGHT HANDS!!!_

_“The fans are electric to see the fan favorite, Claude Speed, return to the ring!” Frylock said, as Claude stood up and strode toward a nearby corner, taunting for CJ to stand up._

_“And they’ll be more excited to see Claude’s most effective maneuver!” he added, as Claude waited for CJ to stand up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND WAS LIFTED OFF HIS FEET FROM BEHIND BY SOLOMON GRUNDY!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!! SOLOMON GRUNDY AND BIZARRO!!! THE OUTCASTS ARE OUT HERE!!!” Frylock shouted, as Bizarro entered the ring and SPEARED CJ Johnson down to the ground while Solomon Grundy took down Claude with a Full Nelson Slam, causing the referee to call for the bell!_

_“Hm….can’t fault the referee for calling for the disqualification.” Shake deadpanned. “There’s a lot of chaos going on out there.”_

_“….REALLY, SHAKE?!?!? YOU DIDN’T THINK I HAD NOTICED???” Frylock screamed, as Bizarro lifted CJ off his feet, and high above his shoulders. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before throwing him out of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND CHEST FIRST ONTO THE BARRICADE!!!_

_“GOOD GRIEF!!! HOW CAN SOMEONE BE THAT STRONG?!??!” cringed Frylock, as CJ sold his chest and ribs in pain as he fell into the crowd. Meanwhile, Solomon Grundy had tossed Claude back-first into a corner, and was pressing his head and neck against the top turnbuckle, choking him as his face turned red!!!_

_“Solomon Grundy and Bizarro have to be out here to assault Claude Speed!” Frylock declared. “Two-Face said that he, Solomon and Bizarro are here to make Claude’s life a living hell on behalf of The Joker!”_

_Solomon let go of Claude, who was breathing HEAVILY as he crumbled to the mat. Then Bizarro pulled Liberty City’s Lucifer up to his feet. . ._

_. . .and CHUCKED him out of the ring above all three ropes, causing Claude to land HARD on the ringside floor near the foot of the ramp! The Outcasts then climbed over all three ropes and stepped onto the ringside floor, with Bizarro stepping toward the steel steps nearby while Solmon Grundy stood over a writhing Claude Speed. Solomon then pulled Claude up by his jacket. . .and set him on his shoulders. . ._

_. . .UNTIL NIKO BELLIC RAN DOWN THE RAMP!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!! THERE’S NIKO BELLIC!!!” Frylock screamed. “He’s standing up for his Grand Theft Auto brethren!”_

_Niko made it all the way down the ramp. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO RECEIVE A BIG BOOT TO THE FACE FOR HIS TROUBLES!!!_

_“Well, THAT didn’t last long. . .” Shake quipped, as Solomon Grundy turned around and saw that Bizarro had drug the large set of steel steps out to the middle of the ringside floor. . ._

_. . .and had them tipped so that the steps were facing upward?_

_“Wait a minute. . .are they thinking what I’m thinking. . .?” Frylock wondered, as Solomon Grundy lifted Claude HIGH above his shoulders in a military press formation. . ._

_“NO!!! YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!! OH MY GOD, NO!!!!” shouted Frylock, as Solomon let Claude fall in front of him. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND CAUSED HIM TO HIT ALL THE STEEL STEPS CHEST AND RIBS-FIRST!!!_

_“BAH GAWD SHAKE!!!” cringed Frylock. “CLAUDE’S ENTIRE BODY MAY HAVE BEEN BROKEN IN HALF!!!!”_

_“Huh. . .” Shake said, “. . .Liberty City’s Lucifer’s got some weak ribs.” Quipped Shake, as The Outcasts stepped up the ramp, leaving Claude wincing and writhing in pain on the ringside floor while a referee ran down the ramp to check on him and the Bohan Badasses._

_“What a disgusting, absolutely VICIOUS assault at the hands of the Outcasts. . .” Frylock declared. “If the Outcasts could do this to three men. . .what the hell is gonna happen two weeks from now in the Tag Team Turmoil match?”_

The referee was still checking on Claude, who was slowly but surely making his way up to one knee, selling his entire torso in pain as the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Claude Speed was now standing next to Mimi Tachikawa, who had a microphone in hand.

“And if you thought Claude Speed was going to stay silent about that vicious assault. . .well, you’d be WRONG. . .” Frylock added.

_“Claude Speed, you went through a HORRIFIC attack at the hands of the Outcasts, do you have anything to say about your condition or how you’re feeling right now?” Mimi asked, directing that question to a grimacing Claude, who was still in a considerable amount of pain._

_“Mimi. . .how do you THINK I feel right now???” Claude snapped. “I couldn’t care less about the match ending in a no-contest, but what I DO care about is putting the Outcasts AND Two-Face in the same amount of pain that they put ME in. You know me as the rebellious type. . .so if they did ANYTHING to me, I’m gonna fight through it no matter what. And I’m gonna fight through it at Shockwave, too. . .because I’m taking the liberty of putting MYSELF into the Tag Team Turmoil match. Now, I may not have a partner yet, but I don’t give a shit who it is, OR if we win. . .because what’s most important to me. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .is that Solomon Grundy and Bizarro. . .LOSE.”_

Claude staggered away from the interview area, leaving Mimi Tachikawa alone to look on in concern until the show transitioned back to the ring, where Claude stood across from Niko Bellic in a tag team match.

“And we would indeed come to know who Claude’s tag team partner would be the next week. However, he certainly needed the help at ringside during an eight-man tag team match that pitted him, Stimpy, Eddy and Frederick von Twirlenkiller against Mario, Niko Bellic, Solomon Grundy and Mordecai! And with their tag team partners at ringside, it would devolve into complete and utter chaos really, REALLY fast. . .”

_The bell rang and the match began with Claude and Niko stepping toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring for a fist bump before engaging in a tie-up. Claude fought out of it by putting Niko in a collar and elbow tie-up, only for Niko to fight out of it and spin around to face Claude’s back, wrenching on his arm before putting Claude in a waist-lock. . .only for Claude to elbow out of it before taking Niko down with a Russian legsweep! Claude rolled up to his feet while Niko did the same thing before the two of them charged toward each other, going for their own right hands and striking each other in the temples!!! The two of them shot up to their knees, fists up for a brawl. . .and stopped in their tracks, prompting the crowd to cheer for the stand-off!!!_

_“These two friends by association have made names for themselves in XCW and AUW, respectively. . .” Frylock said, “. . .I have a feeling they’ll be fighting each other one-on-one sooner rather than later!”_

_Claude and Niko then ran toward each other, getting into another tie-up until Niko nailed Claude in the chest with a swift kick, causing Claude to break his grip. Niko then gripped Claude in a headlock before dropping him with a swinging neckbreaker! Niko then ran against the ropes behind him and landed a leg drop across the chest of Liberty City’s Lucifer! Niko went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Claude kicked out! Niko stood up and strode to a corner, waiting for Claude to sit up before running toward him. . .and hitting him with a boot to the face! Niko then ran into the opposite corner before charging back out of it, and striking Claude in the back of his head with ANOTHER boot! Niko then ran into the corner in front of him, and turned toward Claude. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and—DID NOT land the third boot, because Claude rolled out of the way! Niko turned around to face Claude—_

_\--WHO IMMEDIATELY TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A SPEAR!!! Claude quickly went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Niko kicked out!!!_

_“The Grand Theft Auto alumni are putting on a clinic against each other!” Frylock declared. “Who will gain the upper hand for their respective teams?”_

_Claude pulled Niko up by his collar and drug him to his corner before tagging in Ren, who climbed up to the top rope before leaping off and knocking Niko into the center of the ring with a missile dropkick! Ren quickly went for the cover, 1. . 2. . .Niko kicked out!!! Ren pulled Niko up to his feet and went for a chop. . .only for Niko to nail Ren right between the eyes with a three-punch combination! Niko then Irish whipped Ren into his corner before tagging in Mario, who entered the ring and took Ren down with a Suplex!_

_“Mario and Ren each have had long and storied careers, but they have never crossed paths until right here, right now!” Frylock said, as Mario rolled back up, lifting Ren with him for another rolling suplex. . ._

_. . .but Ren dropped out of it and dropped the Champion of Life with a reverse DDT! Ren went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Mario kicked out!!! Ren pulled Mario up and hit him in the side of the head with a series of kicks before leaping up for a roundhouse kick. . ._

_. . .only for Mario to evade it by rolling behind Ren! Mario then put Ren in a waist-lock before lifting him up. . .and dropping him onto the mat with a German suplex! But Mario kept his grip on Ren’s waist as he pulled him back up to his feet. . .and took him down with another German suplex! Mario continued gripping Ren’s waist as he staggered back up to a standing position. . .lifted him up. . .and dropped him with a third and final German suplex!!!_

_“The trifecta of German suplexes has grounded Ren!” Frylock declared. “Will it be enough to put him away?”_

_  
Mario went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Ren kicked out!!! Mario quickly stood up, gripped Ren by the legs. . ._

_. . .and locked him in the Boston Crab!!! Mario wrenched onto the hold, and Ren screamed in agonizing pain!!! The referee knelt down and asked Ren if he wanted to quit. Ren shook his head no as Mario screamed, “TAAAAAAAAP!!!!”_

_“Mario_ _Frylock cried as Ren inched closer to the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .extended his hand out. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .kept his arm raised high in the air. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and successfully made it to the ropes, causing the referee to order Mario to break the hold. . ._

_. . .but Mario refused to let go!!! Ren screamed in excruciating pain as the referee began the five-count, with Mario finally letting go of the hold when the referee’s count reached four. Mario then turned to his tag team partners and scanned them all before stepping toward Solomon Grundy and making the tag! The Outcast born on a Monday climbed over all three ropes. . .before receiving a. . .rather HARD punch to the shoulder from Niko Bellic._

_“Have fun out there. . .PARTNER. . .” Niko said to Grundy, dripping with sarcasm, to a head turn of confusion from Grundy._

_“Tensions are high between Niko and the Outcasts after the beatdown he and Bizarro inflicted on him, CJ and Claude last week. . .” Frylock informed. “Despite Two-Face’s coin landing on heads earlier tonight, I don’t see them holding each other back for much longer!”_

_The Outcast shrugged it off, turning back around to face Ren. . ._

_. . .WHO KNOCKED HIM AGAINST THE ROPES WITH THE REN HOEKINATOR!!!_

_“AND REN WON’T HOLD ANYTHING BACK EITHER, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake shouted, as Ren then charged toward Solomon Grundy and put his arm around his head before running forward. . ._

_. . .and—GETTING TAKEN DOWN BY A BACK SUPLEX FROM GRUNDY!!!!_

_“Well THAT didn’t last long!!!” Shake quipped. “Solomon Grundy’s too powerful to be taken down by one Hoekinator!”_

_Solomon Grundy then pulled Ren back up and Irish whipped him HARD into his corner, causing Ren to bounce out of the corner, wincing in pain from making impact with the turnbuckles. Solomon then CLOCKED Ren to the mat with a HUGE clothesline before looking up at Claude Speed, who was standing at the ring apron. . ._

_. . .UNTIL GRUNDY KNOCKED HIM OFF IT WITH A THROAT THRUST TO THE RIBS!!!!_

_“OH NOW WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???” Frylock screamed. “YOU ALREADY BRUISED TWO OF HIS RIBS LAST WEEK, YOU BRAINDEAD MONSTER!!!”_

_“Don’t tell him that, Frylock!” Shake said. “Otherwise, he’ll do it again!”_

_The crowd erupted into boos directed at Solomon Grundy. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL REN TOOK HIM DOWN FROM BEHIND WITH A CHOP BLOCK!!! Ren then drove toward his corner. . ._

_. . .and managed to tag in Frederick von Twirlenkiller!_

_“REN CAPITALIZED OFF THE DISTRACTION!!!” Frylock called. “He got the tag that he DESPERATELY needed, and now here comes the Zyclun Killer himself, Frederick von Twirlenkiller!”_

_“These two behemoths are gonna match each other bit for bit!” Shake declared. “It’s hard to say which one of them will gain the upper hand for their team!”_

_Frederick climbed over all three ropes and slugged Solomon Grundy in the temple with a right hand before following up with a three-punch combination that sent Grundy reeling against the ropes. Twirlenkiller then went for a clothesline. . ._

_. . .but Grundy ducked under it and had Twirlenkiller in a waist-lock! Grundy tried to lift Twirlenkiller up by his sides. . ._

_. . .but Twirlenkiller fought out of it with a series of back elbows to the face of Grundy, breaking his grip. Twirlenkiller then turned around to face Grundy, who went for a tie-up. . ._

_. . .ony to receive a headbutt to the face from Frederick!!! Grundy reeled backward, selling his head in pain until the Zyclun Killer charged forward. . .and took Grundy down with a Big Boot!!! Frederick went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .Solomon Grundy kicked out!!!_

_“Oh my God, how close was that???” Frylock wondered, as Frederick pulled Solomon Grundy up by what little hair he had. . .only for Grundy to surprise him with an eye rake!!! Solomon Grundy then Irish whipped Frederick toward his corner. . .but the Zyclun Killer countered it with an Irish whip of his own that not only sent Solomon Grundy into the corner. . ._

_. . .BUT ALSO INTO HIS TEAMMATES, KNOCKING BOTH NIKO BELLIC AND MORDECAI TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!!_

_“GOOD GRIEF!!!” Frylock cringed. “His tag team partners won’t like that one bit!!!”_

_“Especially Niko. . .” Shake added, as Niko rose up to his knees, staring down Solomon Grundy with a malicious sneer. “. . .he looks like he’s about to kill somebody!”_

_Mario had slid out of the way to avoid impact, but he shouted at Frederick from ringside, “WATCH A-WHERE YOU THROW HIM!!!”_

_Frederick just narrowed his eyes at Mario before turning back toward Grundy. . ._

_. . .WHO HAD LEAPT OFF THE SECOND ROPE AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A FLYING CLOTHESLINE!!!_

_“BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!! SOLOMON GRUNDY JUST WENT AIRBORNE!!!” Frylock screamed, as both monsters were down in the center of the ring, crawling toward their corners for a tag!_

_“And now he and Frederick are looking to make a tag!!!” Shake added. “Here’s hoping Grundy hasn’t burned any bridges with his teammates!”_

_  
Frederick had risen to one knee while_ _Eddy and Mordecai slapped their hands against the top corners in front of them as their partners crawled closer toward them._

_“Eddy got himself and Ed into the Tag Team Turmoil match because D-Generation Ed has some unfinished business with the Wild Dudes. . .” Frylock said, as Frederick and Solomon Grundy extended their hands out. . ._

_. . .reached for their partners hands. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tags, with Mordecai getting tagged in just a second before Eddy!!!_

_“. . .and they’re about to air out some of their dirty laundry right here, right now on Monday Night Massacre!!!” Frylock shouted, as Eddy and Mordecai charged toward each other, meeting in a brawl in the center of the ring!!! Both men traded swift right hands until Mordecai surprised Eddy with a thumb to the eye that sent the D-Ed Leader stumbling toward the ropes behind him in pain. Mordecai then ran against the ropes behind him, going for the Clothesline From Hell on the bounceback. . .only for Eddy to duck under it! Eddy then bounced off the ropes before taking Mordecai down with a facebuster!!!! Mordecai reeled around the ring, selling his head in pain until Eddy charged toward Mordecai. . .and took him down with a high knee!!! Eddy went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 MORDECAI SET HIS FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!!!! Eddy couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“The PCUW World Heavyweight Champion and D-Ed Leader thought he had the match won, but Mordecai caught him by surprise with his foot on the rope!” Frylock shouted, as Eddy stood up from the cover._

_  
“What ring awareness from Mordecai!” Shake said. “That’s the kind of skill that’ll propel him and Rigby to victory this Sunday!”_

_Eddy gave Mordecai a series of angry stomps before pulling Mordecai up to a standing position and kicking him in the midsection. . .only for Mordecai to drive him into a nearby corner!!! Mordecai hammered away at Eddy’s head and face with a series of right hands before climbing up to the second rope. . ._

_. . .AND HIT EDDY IN THE HEAD WITH MORE CONSECUTIVE PUNCHES!!! Select people in the crowd counted along in unison with the right hands while the rest of the arena erupted into chants of “YOU SUCK!!” with each word landing in unison with Mordecai’s right hands until the count reached ten, and Mordecai stepped off. . ._

_. . .causing Eddy to collapse onto the mat face-first._

_“The D-Ed Leader just got PELTED by a rain of non-stop right hands from Mordecai!” Frylock said. “He may not know where he is right now!!!”_

_Eddy rolled onto his back, selling his head in pain. . ._

_. . .while Mordecai climbed up to the top rope!!!_

_  
“He has no idea what he’s in for, either!” added Shake. “Mad Man Mordo is about to go high-risk!!!”_

_  
Mordecai rose up to a standing position and sized Eddy up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before leaping off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LANDING THE BUTT DIAL ONTO EDDY!!!_

_“THE BUTT DIAL CONNECTS!!!” Frylock called, as Mordecai crawled on top of Eddy, laying on him back-first while hooking the leg!_

_“Mordecai’s got him dead to rights!!!. . .” Shake declared, as the referee made the count 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 EDDY KICKED OUT, SHOVING MORDECAI OFF HIM!!!_

_“What an EMPHATIC way to kick out by the D-Ed Leader!!!” Frylock called, as Eddy slowly but surely sat up from the cover and made it to one knee. . ._

_. . .before Mordecai pulled Eddy up and sat him on his shoulders!!!_

_“But there’s only one way that Mordecai can respond. . .and that’s by putting Eddy away before he can make the next move!!!” Shake said, as Mordecai ran forward for the Steak Me Amadeus. . ._

_. . .but Eddy dropped out of it behind Mordecai, landing cat-like on his feet while Mordecai hit the corner. Mordecai turned around, selling his head and face in pain as he stepped to the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND WAS TAKEN DOWN BY AN AA SPINEBUSTER FROM EDDY!!!_

_“EDDY CAPITALIZED OFF THE COUNTER AND LANDED THE AA SPINEBUSTER!!!” Frylock shouted, as Eddy stepped over Mordecai. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .raised his arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND GAVE HIM THE D-X CROTCH CHOP!!!_

_“Now Eddy’s declaring that the end is near for Mordecai and this match—“ Frylock said. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL EDDY WAS BLINDSIDED BY A DEATH PUNCHIE FROM RIGBY!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE!!! RIGBY CAME FROM OUTTA NOWHERE TO LAND THE DEATH PUNCHIE!!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly, as the referee called for the bell!!!_

_“He had seen enough from Eddy tonight while at ringside, Frylock. . .and wanted to stop Eddy’s roll before it started!” Shake said. . .as Rigby taunted, “YEAHUH!!!”…._

_. . ._

_. . .WHILE EVERY MAN ON THE RING APRON CHARGED INTO THE RING AND STARTED BRAWLING!!!_

_“He started something MUCH WORSE, Shake!!!” Frylock yelled. “Business has picked up, tensions have EXPLODED, and now every man in the Tag Team Turmoil match is looking to get their hands on each other just six days before Shockwave!!!”_

_Mario and Spongebob were brawling on the left side of the ring with Frederick and Jude, while Ren and Stimpy had driven Mordecai and Rigby up against a corner, and CJ and Niko began double teaming with swift kicks to his sides Solomon Grundy as Eddy and Ed hammered away at Bizarro with thunderous right hands. . ._

_. . .but Bizarro was able to grip the fists of Eddy and Ed before they could make impact. . ._

_. . .AND SHOVE EDDY AND ED DOWN TO THE MAT!!!_

_“D-Generation Ed was trying to knock some sense into Bizarro, but he drove ‘em to the mat like they were nothing!!!” Frylock shouted, as Bizarro shoved Niko into CJ, stopping their onslaught on Grundy. . ._

_. . .who put them into headlocks, one with each arm. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE THEM FACE-FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH A DOUBLE DDT!!!!_

_“HOW CAN TWO MONSTERS BE THAT STRONG????” screamed Frylock, as Solomon Grundy and Bizarro each let out roars of intensity. . ._

_. . .UNAWARE THAT CLAUDE SPEED WAS ON THE TOP ROPE WITH A STEEL CHAIR IN HAND!!!!_

_“Wait a minute!!!” Frylock shouted. “Look at Claude Speed!!!”_

_Claude then leapt off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .raised the steel chair high above his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED SOLOMON GRUNDY RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH IT, KNOCKING HIM DOWN!!!!_

_“Liberty City’s Lucifer is returning to his roots to enact much-needed payback against The Outcasts!!!” Frylock shouted, as Claude nailed Solomon Grundy in the back with the chair twice until Bizarro turned him around to face him. . ._

_. . .only for Claude to hit him in the ribs with the chair!!! Bizarro winced in pain upon impact while Claude raised the chair high above his head. . ._

_. . .and hit him HARD across the back with the chair, bringing Bizarro to his knees!!! After one more chair shot to Bizarro’s back that sent the monster face-down onto the ground, Claude then charged toward Ren. . .and nailed HIM in the face with a steel chair!!! Claude rolled around him to come to the front of Stimpy. . .and clocks HIM in the face with a steel chair!!! As Ren and Stimpy rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope, Claude stomped toward Ed. . .and hit HIM in the face with the steel chair!!! Liberty City’s Lucifer then HAMMERED the steel chair over Double D’s head before slamming it over Mordecai’s head!!! As Ed, Double D and Mordecai rolled out of the ring to collect themselves, Claude then stormed toward Rigby, raised the chair high above his head. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!!!_

_“Claude Speed is like an uncaged ANIMAL right now!!!” Frylock exclaimed. “He’s beating everyone in plain sight with that steel chair!!!”_

_“He’s put a huge DENT in that chair, too!!!” Shake screamed. “SOMEBODY STOP THAT MANIAC!!!”_

_Claude then strode toward Jude The Dude. . . raised the chair high above his head. . ._

_. . .and—GOT A HAND AROUND HIS THROAT FROM FREDERICK VON TWIRLENKILLER!!!!_

_  
“OH NO. . .” Frylock foreboded, “. . .Claude was going for the high-flying half of Twisted Villainy, but Frederick von Twirlenkiller didn’t like that one bit!!!”_

_Frederick muttered, “Sorry, Claude. . .” before raising Liberty City’s Lucifer HIGH above his head. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!_

_“AND CLAUDE GETS A CHOKESLAM FOR THE TROUBLE!!!!” finished Frylock, while Frederick looked down at Claude and said, “. . .BUT I’M NOT SORRY. . .”_

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE GETTING A CHAIR SHOT TO THE RIBS FROM SPONGEBOB!!!_

_“Now the Sponge Suplex Machine is showing off his extreme tendencies!” Frylock called, as Jude strode toward Spongebob. . ._

_. . .only for Mario to lift him onto his shoulders!!!_

_“But Mario is in to make the save for his tag team partner and fellow legend!” added Frylock, as Mario flashed a peace sign toward the crowd and shouted “NEXT TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOOOOON!!!!”. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before running forward. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING JUDE ONTO THE MAT WITH THE NINTENDOZER!!!_

_“Mario pulled his finisher in UCA out of his hat to take down Jude!!!” Frylock said, as Mario stood back up and stepped next to Spongebob, who had brought the Zyclun Killer to his knees with a series of chair shots._

_“What do the wily veterans have in mind now?” Shake wondered, as_ _Mario and Spongebob looked at each other, the Sponge Suplex Machine asking, “Again?”. . ._

_. . . before Mario waved his hand at Frederick as if to say, “Again.”_

_“Wait a minute. . .are Mario and Spongebob going for what I think they’re going for. . .?” Frylock wondered, as Spongebob set Frederick’s head in between himself and Mario. . ._

_“THERE’S NO WAY!!!” Shake declared, before the two veterans lifted Frederick up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ran forward. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE FREDERICK ONTO THE MAT WITH THE DOUBLE SPONGY EDGE!!!_

_“BAH GAWD!!! BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!! MARIO AND SPONGEBOB, OLD AGE BEDAMNED, HAVE JUST TAKEN OUT THE BEHEMOTH TWIRLENKILLER WITH A DOUBLE SPONGY EDGE!!!!” Frylock shouted, as Mario raised a peace sign in the air while Spongebob screamed, “IIIIIIII’M READY!!!”_

_  
“I THINK I FELT THE ARENA SHAKE, FRYLOCK!!!!” yelled Shake, as the two veterans continued celebrating. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL CJ AND NIKO BLUDGEONED THEM WITH BRASS KNUCKLE-LADEN FISTS!!!!_

_“NOW THE BOHAN BADASSES WANT TO SAY THEIR PIECE TO THE VETERANS MARIO AND SPONGEBOB!!!” Frylock screamed, as CJ pulled Mario up while Niko gripped Spongebob by his pants and lifted him up to his feet. CJ and Niko then gripped Mario and Spongebob into headlocks. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .reared their legs back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE MARIO AND SPONGEBOB HEAD FIRST WITH THE FACEBREAKER DDT AND THE GRAND THEFT AUTO!!!_

_“CJ JOHNSON AND NIKO BELLIC JUST PLANTED MARIO AND SPONGEBOB WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE DDTS!!!!” Frylock shouted, as Mario and Spongebob rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope, selling their heads in pain as they landed feet-first onto the ringside floor. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR MORDECAI TO THROW RIGBY INTO MARIO WITH THE REGULAR MOVE!!!!_

_“The Wild Dudes connecting with the Regular Move!” Frylock said. “They’re initiating payback from last week!!!”_

_Mordecai then saw Ren and Stimpy in his field of vision. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and sized them up before leaping off the ring apron. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .”LOOK OUT!!!!” screamed Shake, as. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .MORDECAI WAS TAKEN DOWN IN MID-AIR BY THE R &S DEATH DROP BY REN AND STIMPY!!!!_

_“OHHHHHH MY GOD, SHAKE!!! MY GOD!!!!!” REN AND STIMPY, THE MASTERS OF THE TABLES, JUST CAUGHT MORDECAI IN MID-AIR AND DESTROYED OUR TABLE!!!!” Frylock screamed, as the crowd began to chant, “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!”_

_  
“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Shake exclaimed. “They destroyed my burrito!!!”_

_All three men laid in a crumbled heap while Eddy and Spongebob were brawling until Eddy Irish whipped Spongebob toward the steel steps. . .only for Spongebob to counter it with an Irish whip of his own that caused Eddy to collide into the steel steps with a sickening thud!!! Spongebob then pulled Eddy up to his feet by all THREE of his hairs before kicking him in the midsection. . ._

_. . .lifting him HIGH above his shoulders. . ._

_. . .then running forward. . ._

_. . .AND HITTING EDDY WITH THE SPONGY EDGE, EMPHATICALLY TOSSING HIM INTO THE CROWD!!!!_

_“GOOD GRIEF!!!” Frylock said. “Spongebob is like a house of fire tonight!!!”_

_Spongebob shouted with intensity up into the ceiling to boos from the crowd. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL ED HEADBUTTED HIM FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!!!_

_“But look at the Monobrowed Monster, Ed!!!” Frylock said. “He’s avenging his friend and tag team partner!!!”_

_Ed then pulled Spongebob up to his feet. . ._

_. . .before setting him on his shoulders!!!_

_“Oh no. . .the D-Ed Powerhouse is about to take Spongebob for a ride!!!” Frylock said, as Ed screamed. . ._

_. . .”Revenge is a dish. . .BEST SERVED. . .ED!!!!”. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND HITTING SPONGEBOB WITH AN ELEDRIFIER THAT SENT SPONGEBOB SIDE-FIRST INTO THE RING POST!!!!_

_“GOSH ALMIGHTY!!!!” Frylock cringed. “ED IS RELENTLESS!!!”_

_“He’s hungry for a title shot and NEEDS TO BE FED, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake added, as Ed strode toward Rigby. . .and got an eye rake for his troubles! Meanwhile, Mordecai had staggered up to his feet, and used the adrenaline he had to charge up to Rigby’s side. Mordecai then kneed Ed in the chest before gripping his chest while nodding toward Rigby. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO LIFTED UP ED’S LEGS!!!_

_“Wait a minute. . .now what are the Wild Dudes thinking. . .?” Frylock wondered, as Mordecai and Rigby held Ed at chest level. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before running back toward the announcer’s tables. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING ED THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER’S TABLE WITH A DOUBLE STEAK ME AMADEUS!!!!_

_“BAH GAWD!!! BAH GAWD!!!!” Frylock screamed, as the crowd chanted, “YOU STILL SUCK!!! YOU STILL SUCK!!!” at the Wild Dudes, who were laying amongst the wreckage of the table in a crumbled heap!!!_

_“A DOUBLE STEAK ME AMADEUS!!! MORDECAI AND RIGBY JUST DROVE THE MONOBROWED COLOSSUS RIGHT THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER’S TABLE!!!” Frylock yelled unintelligibly._

_“HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I LOVE the teamwork of the Wild Dudes!” Shake said. “That’s gonna win them the Tag Team Turmoil match this Sunday!”_

_“It looks like a CAR WRECK out here. . .” Frylock said, seeing all the bodies strewn around ringside. . ._

_. . .but meanwhile, in the ring, Jude The Dude had picked up Claude’s dented steel chair. . .and hit CJ across the face with it!!! CJ sold his face in pain as he rolled out of the ring, while Jude raised the steel chair toward Niko. . ._

_. . .AND—CLAUDE KICKED THE CHAIR INTO JUDE’S FACE WITH A BICYCLE KICK, TO A MASSIVE POP FROM THE CROWD!!!!_

_“THERE’S THE ICONIC BICYCLE KICK!!!!” Frylock called. “For the first time since Silver Lining, Claude hit the Bicycle Kick! And who knows how far it’ll get him and his unknown partner in the Tag Team Turmoil match this Sunday!!!”_

_“It may not get him out of this jam, Frylock, because guess who’s back???” Shake asked, as Solomon Grundy and Bizarro lifted Niko HIGH above their heads. . ._

_. . .AND CHUCKED HIM LIKE A SPEAR INTO EDDY, WHO HAD JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE CROWD!!!!_

_“GOOD GOD!!! The Outcasts are back up!!! And it doesn’t look good for Claude. . .” Frylock said, as the Outcasts turned their focus onto Claude while Two-Face stood at ringside to pull out his coin, away from all the chaos that had transpired earlier._

_“It all depends on Two-Face’s next coin flip, Frylock. . .” Shake said. “ . . .I’d be eager to find out what happens if it lands on TAILS. . .”_

_As Solomon Grundy and Bizarro backed Claude into a corner, Two-Face flipped his coin into the air. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and it landed on Two-Face’s hand on its way down! Two-Face looked at it. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and saw that it WASN’T his coin. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but a Chuck-E-Cheese token. . .?_

_“Huh…?” Frylock gasped in astonishment. “What the hell is THAT about. . .?”_

_Two-Face scratched his head in confusion. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .”IT’S PARTY TIME!!!!”_

_. . ._

_. . .”Cuban Pete” by Jim Carrey played, to an EXPLOSIVE POP FROM THE CROWD!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE. . .” Frylock exclaimed, “. . .DOES THAT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS???”_

_“For our sake, it BETTER NOT…” Shake quipped, as Two-Face looked up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SAW THE MASK BEING LOWERED FROM THE RAFTERS!!! The crowd CONTINUED to chant, “MASK!! MASK!!! MASK!!!” until he landed feet-first into the ring, upon which The Mask unhooked himself from the device lowering him in._

_“IT IS!!! THE MASK IS BACK!!!” Frylock said. “AND HE’S CLAUDE SPEED’S TAG TEAM PARTNER AT SHOCKWAVE!!!!”_

_“Aw GREAT…just the man I wanted to see….” Shake quipped, as The Mask tapped on Bizarro’s shoulder. Bizarro turned around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND GOT TAKEN DOWN BY THE SMOKIN’ END FROM THE MASK!!!! Solomon Grundy then turned to face The Mask, who Irish whipped him hard across the ring! Solomon Grundy bounced back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .RIGHT INTO A DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER FROM CLAUDE AND THE MASK!!!_

_“The last time we saw The Mask, he put on a valiant effort in the Silver Lining ladder match. . .and now he’s coming to the aid of Claude Speed, and demonstrating great teamwork with him to boot!” Frylock declared._

_With Solomon Grundy down, Claude knelt over him and hammered away at his face with VICIOUS right and left hands while The Mask ran against the ropes behind him. . ._

_. . .and knocked Two-Face into the barricade with a baseball slide!!!_

_“The Mask doesn’t want to leave no stone unturned with the Outcasts!” Frylock said, as Claude pulled Solomon Grundy up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND HANDED HIM TO MASK, WHO TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE SMOKIN’ END!!!_

_“Now the Smokin’ End to Grundy!!!” Frylock called. “The Outcasts have been thwarted for the night!”_

_Claude and The Mask were left alone in the ring, upon which the two men stared each other down. . ._

_. . .and shook hands, to a pop from the crowd!!!_

_“If anybody else needed any more proof. . .The Mask is Claude Speed’s partner at Shockwave!!!” Frylock said, as The Mask still maintained his grip on Claude’s hand. . ._

_. . .and raised it HIGH above his head, to another pop from the crowd!!!_

_“The Mask may have saved Claude tonight, but they won’t last long enough to beat the Bohan Badasses, The Outcasts, OR Mordecai and Rigby—“ Shake said, “—WAIT A MINUTE!!!”_

_Claude and The Mask were standing in the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL REN NAILED CLAUDE IN THE FACE WITH THE REN HOEKINATOR WHILE STIMPY TOOK DOWN THE MASK WITH A SCOOP SLAM!!!!_

_“REN AND STIMPY ARE BACK UP!!! THEY’VE BLINDSIDED CLAUDE AND MASK!!!” Frylock screamed, unintelligibly, as Stimpy raised his arms high above his head, to a pop from the crowd before he grabbed Mask’s legs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and held them up, splitting them apart!!!_

_“Ya GOTTA know how to mind your surroundings, Frylock!” Shake quipped, as Ren climbed up to the top rope! Stimpy looked up at his tag team partner and screamed, “WASSSSSSUUUUUUUUPPPP????” to Ren, who screamed it back before DIVING OFF THE TOP ROPE. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED THE MASK WITH A HEADBUTT TO THE GROIN!!!_

_“OOOOOOOH!!! Mask won’t be having children any time soon….just like he won’t be winning Tag Team Turmoil!!!” Shake said, as Ren kipped back up to his feet, spinning around in a spiral motion until Stimpy shoved Ren, screaming, “REEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!”, to a MASSIVE pop from the crowd!_

_Ren looked around the arena and screamed, “WHAT?!?!”_

_Stimpy looked at the crowd with an incensed look on his face. . .and screamed. . ._

_. . ._

_“. . .GET THE TA—“_

_. . .UNTIL MORDECAI AND RIGBY EACH TOOK DOWN REN AND STIMPY FROM THE TOP ROPES WITH A DEATH PUNCHIE!!!_

_“OH YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!” Frylock shouted unintelligibly. “Mordecai and Rigby are BACK UP, and THEY JUST KNOCKED OUT REN AND STIMPY!!!”_

_As soon as their music picked up, Mordecai and Rigby met each other in the center of the ring, high-fiving each other before screaming, “OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” as the crowd ERUPTED into more boos._

_“Now THERE’S your winners right there!” Shake declared. “In the span of a month, the Wild Dudes have beaten D-Generation Ed, and they’ve assaulted most, if not all of these tag teams! Winning Tag Team Turmoil will be the icing on the free cake for ‘em!”_

_“Will this be the scene at the conclusion of Tag Team Turmoil?” Frylock asked. “Will Mordecai and Rigby of the Wild Dudes emerge victorious out of eight teams and become the number one contenders for the XCW Tag Team Championship????”_

Mordecai and Rigby strode toward opposite corners and taunted the fans still booing them until the show transitioned back to the backstage area.

 

“Indeed, the Wild Dudes were standing tall out of every tag team in the Tag Team Turmoil match by the end of that finish, but The Mask is now Claude Speed’s tag team partner for that very tournament!” Frylock reminded. “Will he be a big enough beneficiary for Claude Speed to earn them both a shot at the Tag Team Championships after Shockwave?”

 

“….my gut says no, Frylock.” Shake quipped, to narrow eyes from Frylock.

“…..I expected nothing less from you, Shake.” Frylock said, before turning back to face the TV screen. “Now we go from the tag team division….to Mr. Silver Lining, Tommy Vercetti.” Frylock continued. “Fresh off his victory in the Silver Lining ladder match, Tommy Vercetti went into the month of August with high spirits, and continued to tear through his competition, starting with a match against the South Park Extremist, Kenny McCormick! It was a surprising challenge for XCW’s first-ever Mr. Silver Lining…but not as surprising as what followed the match…”

_The show transitioned to the ring, where Tommy Vercetti and Kenny McCormick were on opposite sides of it and trying to push themselves up to a standing position._

_“Both of these two extremists have put on a wrestling clinic against each other!” Frylock said. “But who will come away with the victory in this one-on-one matchup???”_  
  


_“I’m going with the guy that can actually WRESTLE, Frylock…” Shake quipped. “Plus Kenny’s much faster than Mr. Silver Lining!”_

_Tommy had pulled himself up to a standing position by using the ropes while Kenny had risen to one knee before staggering to his feet. Tommy charged toward the South Park Extremist for a clothesline, but Kenny slid under him and nailed Tommy in the back with a spinning wheel kick that sent him reeling toward the ropes. Tommy bounced back. . .right into a Hurricanrana from Kenny!!! Tommy reeled himself up to his knees while Kenny ran against the ropes behind him. Tommy finally made it up to a standing position. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR KENNY TO TAKE HIM BACK DOWN WITH A CROSSBODY BLOCK!!! Kenny kept Tommy pinned to the mat for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! KENNY COULDN’T BELIEVE IT!!!_

_“OH MY GOD SHAKE HOW CLOSE WAS THAT???” Frylock said. “Kenny almost got himself a HUGE victory against the Harwood Butcher!”_

_Kenny rolled up to his feet, taunting for Mr. Silver Lining to stand up. Tommy eventually made it up to one knee, upon which Kenny bounced against the ropes behind him and went for a high knee to Tommy’s face…._

_…but the Harwood Butcher spun out of the way, causing Kenny to continue running until he hit the ropes on the other side of the ring! Kenny ran back toward Tommy on the bounceback. . .and was taken down by a VICIOUS Elbow Smash to the face that sent him reeling! Kenny relaxed against the ropes until Tommy made his way to a standing position and lumbered toward Kenny before punching him in the left temple with a combo of three right hands. Tommy then pulled him by his coat, before dragging him into the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .hooking his arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM HEAD-FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH A DOUBLE-ARM DDT!!!_

_“Mr. Silver Lining roared back with a vengeance thanks to that DDT!!!” Frylock called. “Will it give him the victory???”_

_Tommy then rolled Kenny onto his back before going for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 KENNY KICKED OUT!!!_

_“NO!!! Kenny got the shoulder up!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd groaned in disappointment while Tommy grimaced in annoyance._

_“He had the right idea, but he doesn’t have the skill to put him away!” Shake said, as Tommy sat up and pulled himself up to a standing position before pulling Kenny up by the coat and slugged him right between the eyes with a right hand that sent Kenny reeling back to the center of the ring. Tommy then charged toward for a Lou Thesz Press. . ._

_. . .only for Kenny to leap up and catch Tommy in mid-air with a jumping dropkick! Kenny then rolled up to his knees before leaping up and landing a falling knee drop across Tommy’s chest!!! Kenny then waited for Tommy to make it up to his knees before charging toward him. . ._

_. . .and sending him flying around the ring with a Monkey Flip!!!_

_“The speed of Kenny McCormick is unmatched!” Frylock declared. “He’s like a house of fire!”_

_“And Old Man Tommy can’t get up in time to make a move!” Shake added, as Kenny strafed left to right, sizing Tommy up as he staggered up to his feet. . ._

_. . .and turned around to face Kenny. . ._

_. . .WHO DROPPED HIM BACK TO THE MAT WITH AN INVERTED HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER!!!_

_“And he knows how to use what power he has with that Inverted Headlock Backbreaker!!!” Shake declared. “This match is good as OVER!!!”_

_Kenny drug Tommy by the foot into the center of the ring before going for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999999 TOMMY KICKED OUT, PUNCHING KENNY ACROSS THE FACE WITH A RIGHT HAND ON HIS WAY UP!!!_

_  
“NO!!! TOMMY STRIKES BACK WITH AN EMPHATIC KICK OUT!!!” Frylock called. “Did you expect ANYTHING less from the Harwood Butcher?”_

_“I expected his shoulders to stay on the mat, that’s for sure…” Shake quipped, as Tommy rose up to his feet and nailed Kenny with a VICIOUS kick to the ribs. Tommy continued torturing the South Park Extremist with kick after kick until he had rolled into a seated position in the corner, then Tommy just never let up as he progressed into ramming his foot into Kenny repeatedly with monstrous mudhole stomps!_

_“Tommy is absolutely RELENTLESS!! Frylock said. “He’s showing the South Park Extremist exactly how and why he is Mr. Silver Lining!”_

_“He’s also giving him a look at the bottom of his shoe!” Shake added. “Who KNOWS where the hell that’s been???”_

_Tommy finally stopped stomping Kenny as he slid out of the corner, writhing in pain. The Harwood Butcher then pulled Kenny back into the center of the ring. . ._

_. . .or, he WOULD HAVE, if Kenny didn’t kick Tommy’s hand away from his leg!!! Tommy winced in pain from the impact before going for his legs again. . .but this time, Kenny flipped back up to his feet before lunging forward and taking down the Harwood Butcher with a jumping clothesline!!!_

_“What pure athleticism from the South Park Extremist!” Frylock declared in astonishment, as Tommy fell toward the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .DRAPING HIS HEAD AND ARMS OVER THE MIDDLE ROPE!!!_

_“Kenny fought his way back into this match and now he’s got the upper hand!” Shake said, as Kenny charged toward the ring post. . ._

_“He’s about to win this thing with the 3-0---“_

_. . .AND---COULD NOT HIT THE 303!!! TOMMY ROLLED OFF THE ROPES BEFORE KENNY’S KICK COULD MAKE IMPACT!!!_

_“And Tommy, in just the NICK of time, evaded the 303!!!” **Frylock called, as Kenny spun his way back onto the ring apron after whiffing on the 303 kick. But Kenny didn’t waste any time, sizing Tommy up before leaping onto the top rope. . .**_

****

**_“How the hell’d he do that? He’s not THAT fast…” Shake dismissed, “…but Kenny is, and he’s about to FLY…”_ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .leaping off for a springboard flying clothesline. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO CATCH HIM IN MID-AIR AND DROP HIM WITH A STANDING SPINEBUSTER!!!!_ **

****

**_“…RIGHT INTO A SPINEBUSTER FROM MR. SILVER LINING!!! A drop of THAT magnitude HAS to be the one that ends it!”_ **

****

**_Tommy stayed on top of Kenny, hooking his leg for a cover 1. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

  1. **_. ._**



****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .2.9999999999999 KENNY GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!! Tommy sat up from the cover, looking up at the eyes in confusion over what he saw!_ **

****

**_“Kenny McCormick’s been through ALL KINDS of pain throughout his life and career…” Shake said, “…if you wanna end Kenny, you gotta go for the KILL!”_ **

****

**_“Don’t underestimate the Harwood Butcher, Shake!” Frylock said. “The man is a former six-time Hardcore Champion! He’ll put ANYONE through the worst kinds of pain at the worst measures to gain a victory!”_ **

****

**_With the crowd chanting “TOMMY!!! TOMMY!!! TOMMY!!!” behind him,_ ** _**Tommy rose up to his feet, pulling Kenny McCormick up with him by the hood of his coat. The Harwood Butcher then looked into Kenny’s eyes, mouthing, “I own this ring now…..ME,”……**_

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .before tying up Kenny’s arms to cheers from the crowd!!!_ **

****

**_“And this is the absolute last measure, Shake!” Frylock declared, as Tommy turned around to face Kenny’s back. . ._ **

****

**_. . .only for Kenny to surprise Tommy with a back kick to the shin!!! Tommy let go of his grasp before selling his leg in pain. . ._ **

****

**_. . .UNTIL KENNY GRIPPED TOMMY BY THE SIDES AND SENT HIM FLYING ACROSS THE RING WITH A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!!!_ **

****

**_“The South Park Extremist demonstrating strength of his own!” Frylock called. “Can he follow it up???”_ **

****

**_Tommy roared with intensity, selling his lower back in pain before he tried to rise up to his knees, while Kenny came to his front and FLIPPED HIM OFF. . ._ **

****

**_. . .before kicking him in the shin. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .AND DROPPING HIM WITH THE SOUTH PARK STUNN—NO!!!_ **

****

**_TOMMY SHOVED KENNY ACROSS THE RING AGAINST THE ROPES!!!_ **

****

**_“Tommy Vercetti avoided the South Park Stunner and certain doom with that shove!!!” Frylock called. “But Kenny is known to be unpredictable as a high-flyer—“_ **

****

**_On the bounceback, Kenny ran back toward Tommy. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .WHO DROPPED HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS!!! The crowd ERUPTED into cheers as Tommy followed that up with an onslaught of VICIOUS and SWIFT right and left hands!!!_ **

****

**_“And the furious punches from the Harwood Butcher are raining down on Kenny McCormick with no mercy!” Frylock shouted, as Tommy stood up, shouting obscenities from pure adrenaline as the crowd was STILL going wild! Tommy then turned back toward his adversary. . .and flashed a devilish smirk before stepping toward the South Park Extremist, gripping him by the coat. . ._ **

****

**_. . .bringing him up to a standing position. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .before tying his arms. . .lifting him up. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .AND CONNECTING WITH THE VERCETTI DRIVER!!!_ **

****

**_“THE VERCETTI DRIVER CONNECTS!!!! AND THAT MAY HAVE BROKEN KENNY’S NECK!!!” Frylock shouted._ **

****

**_“YOU BASTARD!!!” Shake screamed, as the Harwood Butcher went for a cover, laying on Kenny back-first, looking up at the lights with a smirk as he hooked the leg! 1. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

  1. **_. ._**



****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .3!!!_ **

****

**_“And the good times keep on rolling for Mr. Silver Lining!!!” Frylock confirmed, as the crowd erupted into cheers while the bell rang!_ **

****

**_“The winner of this match. . .the Harwood Butcher. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!!!!”_ **

****

**_The referee raised Tommy’s hand in victory before handing him the Silver Lining briefcase. The Harwood Butcher then stepped toward a nearby turnbuckle and raised his briefcase high above his head, shouting at the crowd and pumping a fist in celebration._ **

**_“It was a hard-fought, knock-down, drag-‘em-out fight just like every match he’s in, but in the end, Tommy Vercetti prevailed against the spider monkey that is Kenny McCormick and added another win to his growing streak of victories since Heatwave!” Frylock said. “And especially after the events of last night, I have a hunch that it feels DAMN good to be the Harwood Butcher right now!”_ **

****

**_Tommy then stepped off the turnbuckle and rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope before stepping up the ramp, raising a fist in one hand while shouting toward the crowd and holding the briefcase at his side._ **

****

**_“He came down that ramp with a bandaged face, Frylock, and he STILL fought as hard as you say he did…if he’s so tough to go through that match AND last night’s ladder match, why complain a month ago to Space Ghost after Heatwave??? This man is such a hypocrite it’s not even funny! Somebody better call him out on that sooner or later—WAIT A MINUTE!!!”_ **

****

**_Tommy had made it up to the stage and turned around to go through the entranceway. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .ONLY TO BE MET BY A MASSIVE UNPROTECTED SLEDGEHAMMER SHOT FROM SWEET TOOTH!!!!_ **

****

**_“OH MY GOD!!! THAT’S---THAT’S SWEET TOOTH!!!” Frylock screamed, as the Twisted Metal mascot stood over him with a brand new mask on his face, looking identical to the old one._ **

****

**_“He’s got a new mask, but the same grudge against Tommy Vercetti!!!” Shake declared, as Sweet Tooth grabbed Tommy by the collar of his shirt and stepped down the ramp, dragging him back down to the ring!_ **

****

**_“The Twisted Metal mascot was on the receiving end of a bulldog off the top of a ladder onto an exposed top turnbuckle at the hands of Mr. Silver Lining! It shattered his trademark mask and knocked him out cold for the rest of the match…and needless to say, Sweet Tooth did NOT like that one bit!” Frylock informed. “I fear to watch what he’s gonna do next to the Harwood Butcher!”_ **

****

**_“Tommy’s called his manhood into question after he joined the Knighthood of Assassins…and I think he’s about to get an emphatic ANSWER from the Twisted Metal mascot, as well as the right type o’ PAYBACK, Frylock!” Shake declared, as Sweet Tooth RIPPED off the bandages covering the wound on Tommy’s forehead, then gripped him by the back of his head….before thrusting him forward….and SENDING HIM TO COLLIDE INTO THE RING POST FACE-FIRST!!!!_ **

****

**_“GOOD GRIEF!!!” Frylock shouted, as Tommy landed on the floor selling his head in pain, as his head and face started bleeding again. “Tommy just fell onto the floor in a crumbled heap!!! He is absolutely defenseless!”_ **

****

**_“Gimme a break, Frylock! You said it yourself! He’s the Harwood Butcher!” dismissed Shake. “He’s got a weapon in his pants, or something!”_ **

****

**_“Even if he does, that doesn’t condone this vicious assault from the Twisted Metal mascot, Shake!” Frylock said. “This is absolutely uncalled for!”_ **

****

**_Sweet Tooth pulled Tommy up to his knees before dragging him toward the barricade and RAMMING his face against the edge of it…._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .BEFORE DRAGGING IT ALONG THE ENTIRE EDGE OF THE BARRICADE!!! Tommy screamed in agonizing pain as Sweet Tooth stared daggers of intensity at the Harwood Butcher through his mask!_ **

****

**_“BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!! SWEET TOOTH IS RELENTLESS!!!” Frylock cringed, as Sweet Tooth never let up on the pressure as he continued dragging Tommy’s face against the edge of the barricade until he made it to the ringside area. . ._ **

****

**_. . .AND CHUCKED TOMMY HEAD-FIRST INTO THE TIMEKEEPER’S BOOTH!!!! Tommy laid upside-down in a crumbled heap in the booth while Sweet Tooth seethed under his breath, glaring at the Harwood Butcher as the crowd erupted into a chorus of boos._ **

****

**_“This is an all-out vicious assault!!!” Frylock cried. “Somebody has to stop this!”_ **

****

**_“Even if someone does, the Knighthood will come out to overwhelm the odds!” Shake attested. “Besides, Tommy’s been asking for this…”_ **

****

****_Sweet Tooth then stomped toward the announcer’s table. . .and BEGAN RIPPING IT APART!!!  
  
“….but I haven’t!!!” finished Shake, before hurriedly running out of his seat. “I’M GETTIN’ OUTTA HERE!!!”_

****

**_“The man formerly known as Needles Kane is going absolutely BERSERK at our announce table!!!” Frylock said, as Sweet Tooth pulled all three monitors out of the table, keeping the last one in hand as he turned his attention back to the timekeeper’s booth. . ._ **

****

**_. . .and saw Tommy Vercetti standing out of it!!! The Harwood Butcher then climbed over the wall of the booth, striding toward the Twisted Metal mascot. . ._ **

****

**_. . .UNTIL SWEET TOOTH THREW THE MONITOR AT HIS FACE, KNOCKING HIM DOWN!!!!_ **

****

**_“OH MY GOD!!!!” Frylock yelled. “THAT MAY HAVE THE HARWOOD BUTCHER KNOCKED OUT COLD!!!”_ **

****

**_Sweet Tooth lumbered toward the timekeeper’s booth, pulling a microphone out from it before stepping back to the Harwood Butcher, standing at his shoulders to stare him down._ **

**_  
“This has been a vicious assault from a vicious man….and now we’re about to hear more from the Twisted Metal Mascot…” Frylock observed, as Sweet Tooth bent over to glare ever closer into Tommy’s eyes while putting the microphone up to his mouth._ **

****

_“Tommy….Tommy…..Tommy…..” Sweet Tooth said, to more boos from the audience. “…..did you think I wasn’t brutal enough by your standards…? Do you REALLY believe that I’ve sold myself out to the Knighthood of Assassins? Do you SINCERELY imagine that EVERY MOVE you pulled on me at Silver Lining would shut me up and send me running to Hotsuma??? And I thought we knew each other. . .I was a hardcore icon in this business well before you came into it….I set the standards for psychopathy in UWE…and I haven’t forgotten to carry them over into XCW…AND the Knighthood…so this isn’t over, Mr. Vercetti….NOT BY A LONGSHOT. You like to say you’re here to raise hell…well, Tommy…..”_

_Sweet Tooth then reached down toward Tommy. . ._

_. . .AND GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT before pulling him up and dragging him toward the announcer’s table!!!! Sweet Tooth seethed one more phrase into the microphone…_

_“…THIS…..IS HELL!!!!”_

_…before lifting him up high above his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING HIM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!!_

_Sweet Tooth looked down at Tommy Vercetti, who remained in the rubble of the announcer’s table, laying amongst it in a bloody mess._

 

The boos continued to rain down from the crowd as Sweet Tooth left the ringside area until the show transitioned to another wrestling match, this time one that found Sweet Tooth facing off against Rolf in a Hardcore match.

 

“But the assaults wouldn’t end there, ladies and gentlemen, because after a development in week one’s edition of Monday Night Massacre between Rolf and Solid Snake that we’ll cover later, Sweet Tooth would take on the Son of a Shepherd in a Hardcore match!” Frylock informed in the voiceover. “The match was an unbelievably brutal affair with Rolf getting busted open, but taking down the Twisted Metal mascot with an onslaught of aerial attacks! That is, until the last two minutes, when the proverbial shit hit the fan…”

 

_Rolf stood on the top turnbuckle, sizing Sweet Tooth up as he waited for him to rise up to a standing position. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before leaping off the top rope for a diving crossbody block. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LANDING RIGHT INTO THE ARMS OF SWEET TOOTH, WHO LIFTED HIM ONTO HIS SHOULDERS AND DROVE HIM ONTO AN OPEN STEEL CHAIR WITH A RUNNING PUMPHANDLE SLAM!!!!_

_“GOOD GOD!!! Sweet Tooth telegraphed that like it was EASY!!!” Frylock cringed. “AND NOW THE SON OF A SHEPHERD’S BACK MAY BE BROKEN IN HALF!!!!”_

_“YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!!” agreed Shake. “But what about the poor chair??? I could hear it crumble from here!”_

_With Rolf still laying amongst the remains of the chair, Sweet Tooth laid on top of him for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999 ROLF KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“ROLF KICKED OUT!!! THE SON OF A SHEPHERD STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” Frylock cried, as the crowd exploded into cheers._

_“How the hell is he even MOVING???” Shake shouted. “I know this kid is from another country, but he may as well be from another PLANET!”_  
  


_Sweet Tooth then stared down Rolf, seething with anger as he stood up to his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT!!!_

_“Heeeere it comes….” Shake said. “Just as soon as Rolf can feel a LITTLE bit of glory, the Knighthood of Assassins sweeps it out from under him!”_

_  
Sweet Tooth then pulled Rolf up to his feet by the throat, staring daggers at him. . ._

_. . .until Rolf HEADBUTTED the Twisted Metal Mascot right between the eyes!!!_

_“OR MAYBE NOT, SHAKE!!!” Frylock shouted, as the Son of a Shepherd’s headbutt had caused Sweet Tooth to let go of his grip on his throat! Rolf then slapped a series of vicious knife-edged chops against Sweet Tooth’s skin before Irish whipping him over the ropes and onto the ring apron! Upon making impact with the apron, Sweet Tooth slowly reached up for the middle rope, pulling himself up to a standing position. . ._

_. . .completely unaware that Rolf had ran up to a nearby top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LEAPT OFF BEFORE TAKING SWEET TOOTH DOWN WITH A JUMPING TORNADO DDT OFF THE APRON AND ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!!!!_

_The crowd chanted, “HOLY SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” and “X-C-DUB!!! X-C-DUB!!!” while Sweet Tooth writhed in pain on the floor, selling his head after making impact, and Rolf was lying on his back trying to catch his breath!!!_

_“BAH GAWD, SHAKE!!! The Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, is a daredevil if we’ve ever seen one before!” Frylock shouted, as Rolf rolled himself onto his chest and began crawling toward Sweet Tooth!_

_“As crazy as he is, he’s proving his ground against this hardcore icon!” Shake added. “With hardcore rules applied here, will Rolf have Sweet Tooth dead to rights???”_

_Rolf pushed Sweet Tooth on his back before laying on top of him for the cover, weakly hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.999999999999 SWEET TOOTH GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!_

_“NOOOOO!!!” Frylock shouted. “Rolf was THIS CLOSE to gaining the biggest victory of his career!”_

_Rolf rolled off Sweet Tooth, gasping for breath and looking up at the ceiling exasperated._

_“What’s gotta be going through Rolf’s mind right now???” Shake wondered, “…besides his family and livestock, that is…?”_

_“What does the Son of a Shepherd have to do to put Sweet Tooth away?” Frylock asked, as Rolf slowly but surely pushed himself up to a standing position, with the fans in the arena chanting, “ROLF!!! ROLF!!! ROLF!!!”…._

_. . .as soon as Rolf taunted for Sweet Tooth to get up, rotating his right arm counter-clockwise!!!!_

_“Rolf knows what to do…he’s going for it all here, and he’s getting his ultimate weapon ready for launch!!!” Frylock declared, as Sweet Tooth rolled onto his chest. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .pushed himself up to a standing position. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND STRAFED BEHIND ROLF BEFORE THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY COULD MAKE IMPACT!!!_

_“NO!!! THE TWISTED METAL MASCOT ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY!!!” Frylock shouted, as Rolf turned back around. . ._

_. . .TO GET A HAND WRAPPED AROUND HIS THROAT!!!_

_“….aaaaaaand reality sets in.” Shake declared._

_“No matter what Rolf does, no matter what risks he takes, the obstacles get bigger and bigger on his road to glory---WAIT A MINUTE!!!”_

_Sweet Tooth lifted the Son of a Shepherd HIGH above his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND WAS HIT IN THE BACK BY THE SILVER LINING BRIEFCASE!!!_

_“WHAT THE HELL?????” Shake cried, as Sweet Tooth dropped Rolf, wincing in pain from the briefcase shot as he turned around to see---_

_  
“IT’S TOMMY VERCETTI!!! THE HARWOOD BUTCHER IS BACK, AND HE’S LOOKING FOR PAYBACK OF HIS OWN FOR SWEET TOOTH’S ASSAULT ON HIM LAST WEEK!!!”_

_Tommy then nailed Sweet Tooth in the chest with his briefcase before raising it high above his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .staring down at Sweet Tooth with incensed rage. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND RAMMING IT DOWN ONTO THE BACK OF SWEET TOOTH’S HEAD!!! The collision caused the Twisted Metal Mascot’s forehead to collide into the ringside floor!!!_

_“TOMMY VERCETTI IS A MAN POSSESSED!!!” Frylock shouted. “HE’S NOT HOLDING ANYTHING BACK!!!”_

_“And there’s nothing the referee can do about it!” Shake added. “This match is under Hardcore rules!”_

_Tommy Vercetti backed up, lowering his briefcase to his front while Sweet Tooth pressed his hand against his forehead, selling his head from all the recent bumps. He looked up at the Harwood Butcher, seething with anger under his mask as he made it up to one knee._

_“And Sweet Tooth does NOT like the sight of Mr. Silver Lining ONE DAMN BIT—“ Frylock said, as Sweet Tooth staggered up to a standing position, turning around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .TO GET THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY FROM ROLF!!!!_

_“THE COC!!! ROLF’S COC CAME FROM OUTTA NOWHERE AND KNOCKED SWEET TOOTH OUT!!!!” Shake shouted, as the crowd erupted into cheers and Sweet Tooth landed HARD back-first onto the ringside floor!!!!_

_“ROLF CONNECTED WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!!!! AND NOW HE’S GOING FOR THE COVER!!!” Frylock screamed unintelligibly, before Rolf fell on top of Sweet Tooth for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!_

_“AND ROLF PICKS UP THE VICTORY IN THIS HARDCORE MATCH!!!!” Frylock yelled, as Rolf rose up to his knees and shouted ‘THANK YOU!” at the sky while the crowd exploded into even more cheers, masking the ringing of the bell!_

_“The winner of this match. . .’The Son of a Shepherd’. . .ROOOOOOOOOLF!!!!”_

_“It took the help of the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, but Rolf has gained a HUGE victory against a multiple-time X-Treme Champion in UWE, and one of the most recognizable presences in this business!” Frylock said._  
  
“I CALL BULLSHIT ON THAT, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake shouted. “And you just gave the precise reason why! If Tommy Vercetti didn’t get involved, Rolf would be flat on his back right now! This was a fluke victory, plain and goddamn simple!”  
  


_“No matter how you spin it, Rolf put up one hell of a fight, Shake!” Frylock insisted. “He fought the Twisted Metal mascot with both his high-flying speed and physical prowess, and for the first time since Heatwave, he can go home happy!”_

_The referee raised Rolf’s hand in victory before letting him go to the backstage area. Meanwhile, Tommy remained standing against the barricade, Silver Lining briefcase in one hand, and a microphone in the other._

_“Well, I know ONE person who WON’T BE….” Shake said, while Sweet Tooth had rolled onto his chest and started pushing himself up to his knees as Tommy slowly but surely stepped toward him, putting the microphone up to his mouth._

_“Mr. Kane….Mr. Kane….Mr. Kane…..you REALLY should have known better than to do what you did last week....” Tommy said. “But I really should be thanking you. . .because by attacking me and putting me in the hospital, I had a LOT of time to think in my six hours there. And during that time, I remembered everything you’ve said since last month…that you NEVER were a hero, that this is strictly business…and that there’s a new age dawning. . .but let me tell you what I am…what THIS is…and what is yet to come._

_You see. . .like you, I ain’t a hero. But I’m not a villain, either. I. . .am Tommy Vercetti. In Vice City, I’m a well-known convicted psychotic killer and drug dealer. Here, some call me brash and judgmental. . .others call me tenacious and intense. Hell, I’ve even been called things like an asshole, an alcoholic and an 80’s reject to my face more than once. But at my core. . .I am a man with a low tolerance. . .for BULLSHIT. I’m a man that makes NO compromises. . .and NEVER lets go of a grudge. If you say something about me that I don’t like. . .I either tell you how I feel right then and there. . .or smash a bottle upside your head. So right now, Needles, you can probably figure out. . .that you have PISSED OFF the wrong man._

_That’s who I am. . .now let me tell you what this is between me and you. I truly thought you were a Hardcore Hero like me, Senji, Spin The Hedgehog and Aries. . .but turns out all you are is a f*cking SELLOUT, and Hotsuma’s BOTTOM BIT—“_

_“STOP……RIGHT……THERE.” shouted Sweet Tooth, who had risen to his feet. The crowd began booing Sweet Tooth’s interruption as he pulled the microphone out of Tommy’s hand and spoke to it._

_“I’LL TELL YOU WHAT THIS IS....BETWEEN ME AND YOU.” Sweet Tooth snarled. “Before you even THINK about calling me a sellout or ‘past my prime’ like you already have. . .I joined the Knighthood because as a six-time UWE X-Treme Champion, I was treated unfairly here. . .and needed to unite with men who were like-minded in mentality. . .in combat. . . .AND in spirit. We united to get what we wanted, and we’re well on our way to accomplishing our goals as Assassins. What about YOU, Tommy??? Are you any closer to accomplishing YOURS? It’s not like you’ve done enough already….you’re a millionaire, a six-time Hardcore Champion, a finalist in the first-ever March Majesty tournament…and you have that f*cking briefcase. Do you REALLY want anything more than ALL THAT???”_

_  
Tommy simply ignored Sweet Tooth, staring him down with incensed, narrowed eyes._

_  
“. . .I know what you want. . .” Sweet Tooth said. “. . .you want to keep making the progress you are in this industry. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .because you can’t live with yourself staying at the bottom. Am I in the ballpark at all….Tommy? Is that REALLY what you want?”_

_The crowd. . .wasn’t sure HOW to react to that, as Tommy’s staredown turned into a SCOWL before he began speaking into the microphone again._  
  
“I want. . .to KICK YOUR ASS.”

_The crowd ERUPTED into cheers and cries of, “OHHHHHHH!” before Tommy began speaking again._

_“You really DID sell out to Hotsuma. . .otherwise, you wouldn’t have taken a page out of Hotsuma’s playbook tonight.” Tommy added. “That kind of shit works on Bugs Bunny. . .and it works on Tai F*ckin’ Kamiya. . .but it doesn’t on the Harwood Butcher. I’m too mentally tough for that shit. So if you wanna keep doubting my prowess, skills and strength, I won’t hesitate to knock you into a pulp AGAIN. . .and next time. . .YOU AIN’T GETTIN’ BACK UP. So here’s what I REALLY want, Needles. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .you and I. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .one-on-one at Shockwave. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .NO HOLDS BARRED.”_

_The crowd exploded into cheers as Sweet Tooth stared daggers into Tommy’s eyes._

_“And THEN we’ll see not only who’s the better hardcore specialist. . .but also. . .WHO’S THE BETTER MAN. How does THAT sound?”_

_Sweet Tooth took the microphone and put it up to his mask._

_“. . .I ACCEPT. . .under ONE CONDITION. . .” Sweet Tooth replied, as Tommy cocked his head to the side in bemused interest, until the Twisted Metal mascot finished his statement with. . ._

_“. . .you fight me NEXT WEEK. . .one-on-one. . .in a match with NO stipulations.”_

_The crowd gave a mixed reaction to THIS development, as Tommy furrowed his brow in confusion._

_“If you think you’re the BETTER MAN. . .you’ll come at me in a straight-up match. . .and prove your worth without your weapons, as I will without mine.”_

_Tommy looked up at his rival with a confident grin before taking the microphone from him and saying,_

_“. . .YOU GOT IT.”_

_The crowd erupted into cheers as the two hardcore specialists stared each other down._

_“I’m going to ENJOY this, Vercetti. . .you know why?” Sweet Tooth asked, to a headshake from the Harwood Butcher._

_“. . .because ‘Honor Among Assassins’ is our code in the Knighthood. I AM more hardcore than you. . .and a better MAN than you ever will be. The sooner you get that through your thick head, the better off you’ll be. . .because you’ll still have all your LIMBS in tact.”_

 

Sweet Tooth dropped the mic before engaging with Tommy Vercetti in another dramatic staredown until the show transitioned to another match. with Sweet Tooth holding Tommy Vercetti in a sleeper hold in the center of the ring!

 

“Things would only escalate between Tommy Vercetti and the Twisted Metal Mascot from there, because they did indeed have their one-on-one match with no stipulations on the following week’s edition of Monday Night Massacre, in what they referred to as, ‘The War Without Weapons’!” Frylock informed via voiceover. “Even with disqualifications, it was a brutal, destructive match, and for one hardcore specialist, the results were. . .less than stellar. . .”

 

_Sweet Tooth had Tommy down to one knee in the center of the ring and the referee asked Tommy if he wanted to quit. Tommy was unresponsive,_ _as his body was_ _going limp. . .the referee raised his arm up, and dropped it, letting it fall to his side, upon which, he counted one. The referee then raised his arm again. . .then dropped it, letting it fall to Tommy’s side again, counting two. . ._

_. . .OR, IT WOULD HAVE, IF TOMMY’S ARM DIDN”T SHOOT BACK UP!!!_  
  
“NOOO!!! THE HARWOOD BUTCHER STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” Frylock shouted, as with newfound strength, Tommy hit Sweet Tooth in the side of the head with a back elbow!!! But the Twisted Metal mascot kept the hold locked in. . .while Tommy planted both feet onto the mat. . .before rising to a standing position, taking Sweet Tooth up with him! Tommy then hit him in the temple with another back elbow. . .

_. . .and another. . ._

_. . .AND ANOTHER. . ._

_. . .UNTIL HE FINALLY BROKE OUT OF THE SLEEPER HOLD, TO A MASSIVE POP FROM THE CROWD!!!_

 

“Tommy is out of the sleeper hold. . .and he’s looking to prove to Sweet Tooth that he can fight!!!” Frylock said, as Tommy raised his fists and hit the Twisted Metal Mascot with a swift right hand!!! Tommy then hit him with a three-punch combination that drove him into the nearby corner. The Harwood Butcher then Irish whipped Sweet Tooth across the ring and into the ropes. Sweet Tooth then ran toward Tommy on the bounceback. . .

 

. . .and was met with an Inverted Atomic Drop from the Harwood Butcher!!! Sweet Tooth reeled around the ring pain until Tommy hooked both of his arms. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPED HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH A DOUBLE ARM DDT!!!

 

“TOMMY TAKES HIS ADVERSARY DOWN WITH A DOUBLE ARM DDT!!!!” Frylock shouted. “Is it enough for the win???”

 

Tommy fell on top of Sweet Tooth for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

. . .2.999999999999999999999999 SWEET TOOTH GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!! Tommy couldn’t believe it!!!

 

“THE HARWOOD BUTCHER ALMOST WON THE WAR WITHOUT WEAPONS!!!” Frylock called. “But now what will he do to put Sweet Tooth away???”

 

“C’mon, Frylock. . .he’s gonna resort to one at this point!” Shake dismissed. “A steel chair to him is like a child and his security blanket! One way or another, he’ll give in to temptation.”

 

Tommy then taunted for Sweet Tooth to get up, shouting “GET UP, MOTHERF**KER” from the opposing corner. While Sweet Tooth eventually staggered up to his feet but struggling to keep his balance, Tommy charged out of the corner. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .leapt up. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND—COULD NOT HIT THE LOU THESZ PRESS, BECAUSE SWEET TOOTH CAUGHT HIM WITH A BIG BOOT!!!!

 

“OOOOOOOOOH!!!! SWEET TOOTH LANDED THE BIG BOOT!!!” Frylock cringed. “Now the Twisted Metal mascot is in control!!”

 

Tommy sold his jaw in pain as he remained on the mat, while Sweet Tooth ran against the ropes in front of him. . .

 

. . .and landed a leg drop across the chest of the Harwood Butcher!!! Sweet Tooth then pulled Tommy up by the arm and Irish whipped him across the ring before picking him up on the bounceback. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND DROPPING HIM ON HIS KNEE WITH A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!!!

 

“And the Twisted Metal mascot follows up his massive boot with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!” Frylock said. “Will that be all???”

 

Sweet Tooth laid on top of Tommy for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .

 

. . .

 

  1. . .



 

. . .

 

. . .2.9999999999999999999 TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! Sweet Tooth punched the mat in frustration!!!

 

“NO!!!! TOMMY KICKED OUT!!! THE MATCH CONTINUES, MUCH TO THE DISMAY OF NEEDLES KANE!!!!” Frylock said, as the crowd popped with a cheer while Sweet Tooth stared Tommy down behind his mask with angry, incensed eyes before grabbing him by the throat. . .

 

. . .and lifting him up to his feet!!!

 

“And the Twisted Metal mascot is looking to put Tommy Vercetti away!!!” Frylock foreboded, as Sweet Tooth lifted Tommy high above his head. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .and—WAS HIT WITH A KNEE TO THE FACE FROM TOMMY VERCETTI!!! Sweet Tooth let go of Tommy Vercetti off the impact, causing the Harwood Butcher to land on his feet!!! Tommy then Irish whipped Sweet Tooth across the ring. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .charged toward him on the bounceback. . .

 

. . .

 

. . .AND CONNECTED WITH THE LOU THESZ PRESS!!! ** _The crowd exploded into cheers as Tommy followed it up with a series of VICIOUS right and left hands!!!_**

****

**_“The Harwood Butcher is getting his licks on the Twisted Metal Mascot!!!” Frylock declared. “Tommy is about to go into Shockwave on a huge wave of momentum in his favor, and these fans can’t get enough of it!”_ **

****

**_“They loved it when he bulldogged Sweet Tooth onto an exposed turnbuckle, they sang when Tommy cost him the match last week, and now this???” Shake shouted. “How bloodthirsty are these people???”_ **

****

**_Tommy then taunted for Sweet Tooth to get up as if he were foaming at the mouth, and the fans rose to their feet!!!_ **

****

**_“The Harwood Butcher is looking to finally put Sweet Tooth away!!!” Frylock said. “He’s about to show the world that he can fight with AND without a weapon!”_ **

****

**_Sweet Tooth eventually stumbled up to his feet, upon which, Tommy hooked both of his arms. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .lifted him off his feet to carry him on his back. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .AND—SWEET TOOTH ROLLED OUT OF THE VERCETTI DRIVER BEFORE TOMMY COULD HIT IT!!! The Twisted Metal Mascot landed on his feet behind Tommy before shoving him toward the ropes in front of him!!!_ **

****

**_“NO!!! SWEET TOOTH GOT OUT OF IT!!!” Frylock called. “WHAT STRENGTH!!!”_ **

****

**_Tommy bounced off the ropes. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .ran toward Sweet Tooth. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .WHO GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT!!!!_ **

****

**_“OH NO….” Frylock foreboded, as Sweet Tooth lifted Tommy off his feet. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .and HIGH above his head. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .BEFORE DRIVING TOMMY ONTO THE MAT WITH A CHOKESLAM!!!_ **

****

**_“….aaaaaaaaand reality sets in…” Shake said, as Sweet Tooth went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

  1. **_. ._**



****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .3!!!_ **

****

**_“And just like that, Sweet Tooth picks up the win….” Frylock said, as the Twisted Metal mascot knelt up from the cover while the bell rang._ **

****

**_“The winner of this match. . .Needles ‘Sweet Tooth’. . .KANE!!!!!”_ **

****

**_“Well, despite the result of the match, you can’t deny both men put up one hell of a fight against each other!” Frylock said. “These two hardcore specialists competed in a great, entertaining match outside their comfort zone, and proved themselves capable of putting on a show with or without rules. . .but in the end, it was Needles ‘Sweet Tooth’ Kane that prevailed with the win. You have to think that he, unfortunately, has all the momentum in his favor to win the No Holds Barred match for himself and the Knighthood of Assassins at Shockwave!”_ **

****

**_The crowd was relentless with their boos while the referee raised his arm in victory. However, Sweet Tooth was quick to force his arm out of the referee’s grasp before climbing over all three ropes, and stepping onto the ringside floor. . .toward the timekeeper’s booth?_ **

****

**_“You’re damn right he does, Frylock!” Shake ranted. “He’s got the power, the size advantage, and he knows how to pick apart Tommy’s fighting strategy now that he’s beaten him here tonight! Add weapons to the mix, and we’ll see Tommy’s head on a pike at Shockwave. . .but from the looks of where Sweet Tooth is headed now, it may be sooner than THAT. . .”_ **

****

**_Sweet Tooth reached into the timekeeper’s booth, pulled out a microphone. . ._ **

****

**_. . .and Tommy Vercetti’s Silver Lining briefcase?_ **

****

**_“What the hell is Sweet Tooth doing with Tommy’s briefcase?” Frylock wondered, as the Twisted Metal mascot stepped onto the ring apron before climbing over all three ropes and speaking into the microphone._ **

****

**_“. . .good match, Tommy. . .” Sweet Tooth said. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .BEFORE THROWING THE SILVER LINING BRIEFCASE INTO TOMMY’S HEAD!!!_ **

****

**_“OH MY GOD!!!” Frylock shouted, as Tommy sold his head and temple in pain while rolling onto his back!!_ **

****

**_“. . .I believe that’s YOURS. . .” he continued._ **

****

**_Sweet Tooth dropped the microphone to a chorus of boos from the crowd before leaving the ring and making his way up the ramp, while Tommy Vercetti clenched the side of his head in pain and the referee checked on him to ask if he was okay._ **

****

**_“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT???” Frylock yelled. “You won the damn match! There’s NO reason for that whatsoever. . .so much for Honor Among Assassins!”_ **

****

**_Tommy nodded to the referee, assuring that he was okay before picking up his briefcase and scowling toward the stage, where Sweet Tooth stood with an arm raised._ **

**_  
“The code doesn’t apply to what happens after the match!” Shake informed. “Once the contest is over, all bets are off! But I gotta tell ya, despite his place in the Knighthood of Assassins, I’m placing my bets on Sweet Tooth to beat this 80s reject at Shockwave. It’s written in the stars at this point!”_ **

****

**_“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Shake. . .” Frylock said, “. . .from the look on his face, Tommy Vercetti is PISSED. OFF. If these two hardcore specialists put on a clinic against each other in a straight-up wrestling match, what are these two gonna do to each other at Shockwave with No Holds Barred???”_ **

****

**_Tommy Vercetti stared down Sweet Tooth from the ramp with a death glare on his face until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Tommy Vercetti was stepping down a hallway with his briefcase in hand._ **

****

**_“Indeed, the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti, did NOT like that cheap shot from Sweet Tooth one bit. . .OR the fact that he lost, and he made everyone in his path know it once Monday Night Massacre returned from the commercial break after that very match!” Frylock informed, as Tommy stomped down the hallway with a scowl on his face._ **

****

**_“….I had him…..I F**KIN’ had him….complete and utter bullsh*t….” Tommy muttered, until Mimi Tachikawa stepped toward him with a microphone in hand._ **

****

**_“Excuse me, Tommy Vercetti, you just lost to Sweet Tooth tonight in a—“ Mimi said, until Tommy interrupted her with—_ **

****

**_“—DO I LOOK LIKE I WANT TO BE INTERVIEWED RIGHT NOW???” he snapped. “I DON’T NEED A REMINDER, EITHER!!!”_ **

**_  
Mimi sweatdropped, stopping in her tracks to leave Tommy Vercetti to continue stomping down the hallway. Eventually he stopped to get a drink of water from a drinking fountain. . ._ **

****

**_. . .while he could hear Sora Takenouchi nearby on the phone with someone._ **

****

**_“You’re sure you want to come back next week?” Sora asked, before pausing. “. . .well, okay, but you’re—commentary?. . .Good! Good. . .listen, I gotta go. . .Yuna wants to see me about something, but I’ll see you soon, okay?. . .I love you!”_ **

****

**_Sora smiled with affection. . ._ **

****

**_. . ._ **

****

**_. . .before Tommy gripped the buffet table in the background. . ._ **

****

**_. . .and KNOCKED IT OVER, startling Sora!!! The Crestbearer of Love turned around to see the destruction Tommy wrought, as the Harwood Butcher left the area in a state of rage._ **

****

**_Sora’s eyes were still wide in shock as she heard a sound on the phone. “No. . .everything’s fine, it’s just. . .Tommy appears to be mad about something. . .but what else is new?”_ **

****

**_Sora looked on in confusion until the show transitioned back to the backstage area, where Frylock sat on a barstool in front of a high-definition television._ **

****

**_“Tommy made his displeasure loud and clear with everyone around him that night, and it was also evident that he wanted another piece of Sweet Tooth before his no holds barred match with him at Shockwave!” Frylock said. “But he would get his wish on the go-home episode of Monday Night Massacre before that very pay-per-view. . .but that will be covered later in the program.”_ **

****

**_“I hope he at least paid for a whole new buffet!” Shake quipped. “I didn’t get a goddamn burrito off o’ that thing thanks to him!”_ **

“Yes, it certainly was a tragedy. You gonna build a memorial for it?” Frylock deadpanned.

 

“MAYBE!!! If the anonymous chairman pays me enough for it!” Shake replied. “Speakin’ o’which, who IS that guy, anyway—“

 

“When we come back. . .” interrupted Frylock, “. . .we will look at everything involving The First of His Name, Joffrey Baratheon, as well as everything involving the XCW Tag Team Championship and the number one contenders for them!” Frylock said. “All that and more. . .right after this!”

 

Frylock looked into the camera with a smile until the show faded to a video package.

 

The video package began with a shot of Hotsuma walking onto the stage and down the ramp, looking at nothing but the ring as the arena was engulfed in red light.

 

“This guy, Hotsuma, has something very sinister about him. . .” Shake said, as the video package transitioned to a shot of Hotsuma, Sub-Zero, Scorpion, Sweet Tooth, and Solid Snake were brawling and hammering away at Tai’s body and legs.

 

“THEY’RE GOING AFTER THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION LIKE A PACK OF WOLVES ON A STEAK!!!!” Early screamed, as the video package transitioned to a shot of Daffy Duck kneeling down before Hotsuma tapped the flat side of Akujiki onto Daffy’s shoulders, knighting him.

 

“FICTION WRESTLING’S FIRST-EVER HEEL HAS JUST BEEN KNIGHTED INTO THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS!!!!” Frylock screamed, as the show transitioned to a shot of Hotsuma holding Akujiki and Daffy’s arm raised in the center of the ring. . .until static began to cut sporadically into the image before blanketing the image completely.

 

Suddenly. . .

 

. . .the image cut to a shot of the tide coming in on a beach during a gorgeous afternoon, without a cloud in the sky. The shot slowly but surely pushes in while the sound of a police helicopter and a police scanner dominate the shot.

 

“The really civilized man will divest himself of all fear and authority,” said a gravelly, male voice. “He will rise from the dust and stand erect: he will bow to no tsar either in heaven or on earth. He will become fully human when he will scorn to rule and refuse to be ruled. He will be truly free only when there shall be no more masters.”

 

The image of the ocean tide coming in continued to push in while the sound of the police scanner only grew louder and louder in volume and more distressed until the video package cut to black, with a singular word appearing on screen. . .

 

**ECHO.**

 

**And that concludes part TWO of the XCW Monthcap of August! Told ya it’d be a quick update. As always, let me know if something doesn’t make sense, or if anyone was out of character. The next chapter will come soon, until then, please READ, REACT AND REVIEW!!!!**


	51. XCW August Monthcap: Part 3

As XCW Rewind returned from break, Frylock and Master Shake sat on barstools next to each other in front of a giant HD television inside a locker room.

 

“And welcome back to XCW Rewind, ladies and gentlemen!” Frylock said. “Before the commercial break, we informed you about all the happenings that involved the teams in the Tag Team Turmoil match, as well as the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti. . .and now we go all the way to the First of His Name, and XCW’s second round 2014 draft pick, Joffrey Baratheon. He blindsided Double D at the Silver Lining pay-per-view during his match against Arthur Read for the XCW World Television Championship. And on the edition of Monday Night Massacre a day after the pay-per-view, Joffrey would explain his actions. . .”

_The show transitioned to the ring, where Joffrey Baratheon was standing in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand, scanning the crowd, who were spewing VENOMOUS boos at the Ruler of the Iron Throne._

_“How DARE you all give your superior and ruler of the Iron Throne such a disdainful reception. . .” Joffrey said, to MORE boos from the crowd. “. . .no matter. . .the truth is, I didn’t expect anything less. . .just as Double D didn’t expect my arrival to be during his World Television title match last night at Silver Lining. Now, I’m willing to bet that you all are wondering. . .exactly WHY I attacked him. . .why I am here. . .and what all of you simpletons will bear witness to in the foreseeable future.”_

_The crowd CONTINUED to boo Joffrey Baratheon as he paused to revel in the hatred of the XCW fans before putting the microphone back up to his mouth._

_“First of all. . .I attacked your beloved Double D. . .because he DESERVED the assault. He is a rising star in this industry for work in SEVERAL companies across this business, and one of the most well-liked at that. . .but how did he get there? Do you people feel SORRY for him? Do you PITY him? Or do you see yourselves in him…? If the latter, your IQ BELONGS in the low single digits. . .because Double D. . .is what all his rivals say he is. . .A DORK. A LOSER. A RAW-BONED COMMONER. He has been nothing more than a commoner since he made his debut in this business in CWF. . .he stayed one when he started that putrid backyard wrestling company he calls PCUW. . .and he remains one right here in XCW, in Animated, and wherever else he bloody tries to perform in front of all you imbeciles!! He was due for a reality check before ANY of his dreams came true. . .and if anyone was more right to give him one. . .it is I. . .his BETTER. . .his RULER. . .AND HIS KING.”_

_One half of the crowd booed Joffrey while the other half began a chant of, “DOUBLE D!!! DOUBLE D!!! DOUBLE D!!!!”_

_“CALL FOR HIM ALL YOU WANT, BUT HE IS NOT HERE TONIGHT. . .” Joffrey snapped, to an ERUPTION of boos._

_“. . .because I beat him into submission last night. . .sending a personal message to him. . .and a separate message. . .to the rest of the commoners in the back. I damn well HOPE you all are listening to this. . .because from this moment forward, I stand before you all not only as Double D’s king. . .but as YOUR KING. I have made my arrival to this business as the Ruler of the Iron Throne. . .and now intend to become the most powerful entity in this company. . .and across the entire industry of fiction wrestling. I intend to start by setting a new standard for wrestling competition inside this squared circle. . .and going after each and every one of you with the same ruthlessness. . .unlimited power. . .and lack of remorse which I demonstrated in the land of Westeros. If you wish to find me in the back to issue a challenge. . .you must only do so. . .after I’ve granted you an APPOINTMENT.”_

_Joffrey paused, only to hear nothing but a chorus of boos from the audience, who had also broken out into a chant of, “YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!!”_

_“These provisions are unconventional, but they are ideal for a man of my stature, prestige, and title. . .but I am not a common wrestler, nor am I a common character. I stand before you all. . .as a man that resides from a live-action television show based from a beloved book series. In the short history of this program, I am the first of my kind to appear in this company. . .but now that I have shattered the glass ceiling for more characters like me. . .my ultimate goal. . .is to alter the course of this company’s history. . .and make the ‘C’ in XCW stand for something OTHER than ‘Cartoon’. Because there is absolutely NOTHING extreme. . .about ‘Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling’._

_The animated kind is known for cracking jokes. . .breaking the fourth wall. . .a light-hearted nature. . .making sad attempts at outdated slapstick. . .and putting smiles on the faces of children. . .who are only watching that INSIPID SHIT because their bloody parents would rather show them something mindless than teach important life lessons first-hand! But I am here to give all of the animated men in the back MORE than just a lesson. . .I am going to give them a LETHAL DOSE OF REALITY. Winter has come for the Cartoon in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .because in reality. . .there are consequences for everything that you do. In reality. . .some goals are unreachable. And in reality. . .there exists several levels of extreme pain. . .and that is the pain you WILL feel, whether you are from a video game. . .OR a cartoon._

_I have not minced my words to you commoners here tonight. . .I understand that your ignorance and knowledge of my reputation will not allow yourselves to like me. But I don’t NEED to be liked. Because I am Joffrey Baratheon of Houses Lannister and Baratheon. . .the King on the Iron Throne. . .the First of His Name. . .and from this moment forward, the First of His CHARACTER. . .and you all will have no choice. . .but to respect me. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND FEAR ME.”_

Joffrey dropped the microphone and glared at the fans in the stands until the show transitioned to the arena as Tommy Dreamer’s WWE theme played, and Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the ring with a microphone in hand.

  
“After that eloquent mission statement, Joffrey Baratheon would back up those words in his debut match the following week on Monday Night Massacre!” Frylock said. “And he would both impress and unnerve with his relentless fighting style against a sight for sore eyes in Jonny 2x4. . .who was also a comrade of his adversary, Double D. Just as Joffrey didn’t mince words during his speech, he wouldn’t go easy on his first opponent, either. . .”

_  
Jonny 2x4 stood in the corner with his fists up, leaping from side to side to pump himself up._

_“ **The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!** Introducing first. . .from Peach Creek. . .JONNY 2x4!!!” _

_Jonny 2x4 then raised Plank high into the air before cheering with excitement._

_“We’re back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and for the first time in a while, we’re about to see Jonny 2x4 in one-on-one competition. He hasn’t won a championship in XCW yet for himself or his tag team with Johnny Bravo, but in PCUW, he was a former Television Champion!” Frylock informed._

_“Here’s hoping he’s in XCW long enough to earn himself an opportunity. . .” Shake said, “. . .and also hoping that he survives this match. . .because his opponent has a lot to prove tonight in his debut match. . .and a lot of words to back up.”_

_Jonny looked up the ramp with excitement. . ._

_._ _. .as all the lights went out in the arena. The crowd ERUPTED into boos as a thick fog started billowing from the stage. At the same time, “The Rains of Castamere” by Sigur Ros began to play while the lights slid back on to a tint of red. . .and a large throne made of iron slowly came out from under the stage. . .with Joffrey Baratheon sitting on it._

_“And his opponent. . .making his Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut. . .from King’s Landing. . .he is ‘The First of His Character’. . .JOFFREY BARATHEON!!!_

_Joffrey stepped off the Iron Throne and strode down the ramp, cracking his neck in both directions while staring down Jonny 2x4._

_“And I’m not wrong. . .because this kid, Joffrey Baratheon has so much to back up, it might as well be a DICTIONARY.” Shake said. “The First of His Character and the Ruler of the Iron Throne, Joffrey Baratheon, explained why he assaulted Double D at Silver Lining; claiming that he needed to give him a lethal dose of reality. . .and he intends to do that to everyone on the XCW roster for the sake of ushering in an era of live action wrestling!”_

_Joffrey wiped his feet on the ring apron before entering the ring above the second rope and standing on a turnbuckle, glaring a fan who was holding a sign that said, “Not My King”. He turned to looked at another sign that said, “The North Remembers” and shook his head in disgust before stepping back down to the mat._

_“He said that animation was a medium with outdated slapstick and for dumb children. . .and if you ask me, that’s just unbelievable BULLSHIT.” Frylock declared. “You and I came from a TV show full of sexual themes, absurdist violence, and surreal humor; hell, we were even allowed to swear! Animation is NOT just kids stuff in the slightest, it’s a powerful medium that can explain complicated issues and real world conflict, and do it all through VISUALS. And I’ll be DAMNED if this live-action punk of a teenager has the AUDACITY to assault the talented members of our roster on such an asinine belief!”_

_The bell rang and the match began with Joffrey and Jonny charging toward each other and meeting in the center of the ring in a tie-up. Joffrey fought out of it by gripping onto Jonny’s arm and keeping him in a wrist lock. Joffrey wrenched onto Jonny’s arm as Jonny winced in pain until Joffrey took him down with an arm drag. Joffrey then kicked Jonny HARD in the back a few times before going for the cover 1. . .2. . .Jonny kicked out!!! Joffrey then pulled Jonny up to his feet and slugged him with a European uppercut that sent Jonny reeling toward the ropes behind him. Joffrey then lifted Jonny off his feet and ran forward before taking him down with a rolling fireman’s carry slam! Joffrey went for another cover, hooking the leg 1. . .2. . .Jonny kicked out!!!_

_Joffrey pulled Jonny up to his feet. . .and slapped him HARD across the face, to massive boos from the crowd. Joffrey then sent Jonny reeling toward the ropes with an inverted atomic drop before clotheslining him over the ropes! But Jonny 2x4 only landed onto the ring apron. Jonny pulled himself up to a standing position. . .only for Joffrey to wrap his arms around the ropes! Joffrey then wrapped one free arm around Jonny’s neck. . .before using his OTHER arm to slug Jonny in the chest with The Rains of Castamere (10 forearm clubs to the chest)!!! After the tenth and final punch, Joffrey finally let go. . .and sent Jonny falling off the apron onto the ringside floor! As the referee began the ten-count, Joffrey stepped out of the ring, wiping his feet on the apron before stepping down to the ringside floor and pulling Jonny up by his shirt. Joffrey went for another uppercut, only for Jonny to catch his arm and take him down with an arm drag. . ._

_. . .or, at least TRY to, because Joffrey remained standing while Jonny pulled on his arm!!!_

_“What the. . .what the hell is this kid doing???” Frylock wondered._

_“He’s resisting the move, Frylock!” Shake declared. “He’s too big and too strong for Jonny’s measly attempts at an arm drag!”_

_Jonny turned around to face Joffrey. . ._

_. . .WHO SENT HIM FLYING INTO THE STEEL STEPS WITH A FALLAWAY SLAM!!! Jonny’s head collided HARD into the steps with a sickening thud!!_

_“GOOD GRIEF!!! JOFFREY BARATHEON IS ABSOLUTELY RECKLESS!!!” Frylock cringed, as Jonny clenched his head, rolling away from the steps and screaming in agonizing pain!_

_“HAHAHA!!! I love this kid, Frylock! He can talk the talk AND walk the walk!” Shake declared, as Joffrey pulled Jonny up and slid him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Joffrey stepped back onto the ring apron and wiped his feet before stepping back into the ring over the bottom rope and going for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 JONNY KICKED OUT!!! JOFFREY COULDN’T BELIEVE IT!!!_

_“HOW THE HELL DID JONNY KICK OUT???” Shake wondered. “This kid Joffrey’s been ALL OVER HIM in this match!”_

_“I’m more concerned about Jonny’s physical well-being right now, Shake!” Frylock foreboded. “Does he even know where he is???”_

_Joffrey pulled Jonny up to his feet with his arms hooked before lifting him up. . ._

_. . .and taking him down with a Double Underhook Suplex!!! Joffrey then rolled up to his feet before pulling a dazed Joffrey up to his feet and Irish whipping him hard across the ring! Jonny stumbled against the ropes then staggered back toward Joffrey. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .who lifted him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH THE IRON THRONE (Scoop Brainbuster)!!!_

_“GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!” Frylock cringed. “Joffrey may have knocked Jonny out cold!!! Can somebody stop this damn match before he kills him???”_

_“He’s not letting up, Frylock!” Shake declared. “He’s got one more move left in mind!”_

_Joffrey then pulled Jonny up to his feet, and looked him right in the eyes before screaming. . .”FEAR ME. . .”_

_. . ._

_. . .before lifting him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM WITH THE KING’S LANDING (Cesaro’s Neutralizer)!!!!_

_“So long, Jonny. . .and thanks for coming!” Shake said, as Joffrey went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!!_

_“THANK GOD IT’S OVER….” Frylock said, as the crowd erupted into boos and Joffrey stood up with a wide, happy grin on his face while the bell rang._

**_“The winner of this match. . .JOFFREY BARATHEON!!!”_ **

_"I sure do hope Jonny 2x4 is okay..." said Frylock, "...and that somebody in the back teaches Joffrey Baratheon how to wrestle! He was already an asshole of a young man when he insulted the medium of animation and assaulted Double D...but tonight only proved one thing: that The First of His Character, Joffrey Baratheon, fights with reckless abandonment for the health and safety of his opponent! He'll continue to fight this way until someone puts him in his place...and I hope someone does sooner rather than later!"_

_The referee raised Joffrey’s arm in victory before kneeling down and checking on Jonny, who was clenching his head in pain. Meanwhile, Joffrey stepped out of the ring and wiped his feet on the ring apron before stepping down to the ringside floor and striding up the ramp with the same sadistic grin._

_"Oh come on, Frylock!" disagreed Shake. "He's not being reckless, he's delivering sheer brutality to anyone that steps in the ring with him! Joffrey tossed Jonny into the steps with the use of an unorthodox wrestling strategy, a strategy that will earn him victories for years to come in this industry! Besides, you know how big Jonny's head is! It's gotta be sensitive to all kinds of attacks, and in true strategic fashion, the First of His Character exploited that weakness and picked Jonny apart on the way to a well-deserved victory! This kid's going places, that's what we learned tonight, and when he returns, Double D better watch out!"_

Joffrey stood on the entranceway and looked at Jonny 2x4 being treated in the center of the ring with a now stoic expression until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Frylock sat on a barstool in front of a high-definition television.

 

“Joffrey would have another match the following week on Monday Night Massacre. . .and beforehand, he challenged Double D to a one-on-one match with him at Shockwave! Double D was not present that night to accept it. . .but when he WAS present, he—well, we will cover that really soon…..but following Rolf’s big victory against Sweet Tooth the week before, Joffrey personally requested to fight him not only because he wanted a worthy opponent, but he also wanted to render Double D’s friends lifeless before his return. As you saw earlier, it would be Solid Snake to ambush the then-Hardcore Champion after the match, but beforehand, the Son of a Shepherd stood up for himself and Double D in one hell of a valiant effort despite Joffrey’s reckless and destructive fighting style. . .”

_The show then transitioned to the arena, where Joffrey had Rolf in a bridging cobra clutch submission maneuver in the center of the ring._

_“Rolf is a resilient fighter, and he has to be as the current XCW Hardcore Champion, but The First of His Character just won’t let up!” Frylock called. “How will he fight out of this???”_

_“He can’t use weapons to come to his aid here, Frylock!” Shake said. “Joffrey’s got him dead to rights!!!”_

_Joffrey forced Rolf onto his knees before the referee knelt down and asked Rolf if he wanted to quit. Rolf violently shook his head no before stretching toward the ropes with everything he had, but to no avail. Nevertheless, he persisted, and stretched toward the ropes until he started to fade out of consciousness, waving his arms slower and slower!!!!_

_Rolf’s body went limp as the referee raised his arm up, and dropped it, letting it fall to his side. The referee counted one before raising his arm again! The referee dropped it, letting it fall to Rolf’s side again, counting two. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL ROLF’S ARM SHOT BACK UP!!!_

_“NOOOO!!! THE SON OF A SHEPHERD STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” Frylock shouted, as Rolf, with a second wind, elbowed Joffrey HARD in the shoulder. . .then went for another elbow that struck him right in the head!!! Rolf then willed himself up to a standing position, elbowing Joffrey in the temple the entire way!!! The Son of a Shepherd then hit Joffrey in the shin with a back kick. . ._

_. . .BEFORE KNOCKING HIS HEAD BACK INTO THE FACE OF JOFFREY, FINALLY BREAKING HIS GRIP!!! Rolf then quickly spun around to face The First of His Character and hit him in the face with a judo kick before Irish whipping him across the ring. Rolf caught Joffrey on the bounceback. . .and sent him flying into the corner with a Monkey Flip!!! Rolf then rolled toward Joffrey in a somersault before leaping up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND HITTING JOFFREY IN THE CHEST WITH ROLLING THUNDER!!!_

_“What a move for the Son of a Shepherd to add to his arsenal!” Frylock declared, as Rolf hooked Joffrey’s leg for the cover! “Is it enough to get him the win???” 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 JOFFREY KICKED OUT!!!_

_“NO!!! JOFFREY JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!!!” Frylock shouted, as Rolf sat up from the cover, screeching in frustration!_

_“Well, now that I’ve lost a frequency, I can’t help but wonder what Rolf’s gonna do next, and hope Joffrey can stop him in his tracks!” Shake said, as Rolf stood up and turned toward the nearby corner. . ._

_. . .and climbed up to the top rope!_

_“He’s looking to go for a high-risk maneuver, Shake!” Frylock declared. “The Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, is looking to put a dagger into the proverbial heart of Joffrey!”_

_With the fans on their feet in the stands, Rolf stared down Joffrey until he had staggered up to his feet before sizing him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .leaping off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND--DID NOT HIT THE JUMPING TORNADO DDT, BECAUSE JOFFREY DROPPED TO THE MAT AND RAISED HIS KNEES UP, CAUSING ROLF TO LAND RIGHT ONTO THEM!!!_

_“OOOOOOOH!!!! THAT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT!!!” cringed Shake, as Rolf rolled onto his side, clenching his ribs in pain until Joffrey kicked him so hard into the ribs, he rolled onto his back. Joffrey then leapt up. . ._

_. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDED A STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ROLF’S CHEST!!! Joffrey then ran against the ropes behind him before running back toward Rolf on the bounceback. . ._

_. . .and landing a jumping knee drop onto his chest!!! Joffrey went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 ROLF KICKED OUT!!! Joffrey couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“Rolf has signs of life!!!” Frylock called. “But how will he regroup out of this predicament??”_

_Joffrey knelt down and hooked his arms up with Rolf’s before lifting him up on his way up to a standing position. Joffrey then seethed with anger down at his opponent before going for a Double Underhook Suplex. . ._

_. . .but Rolf drove Joffrey back-first into a nearby corner!!!_

_“What ring awareness from the Son of a Shepherd!!!” Frylock said. “The Hardcore Champion has Joffrey right where he wants him to be!”_

_Rolf hammered away at Joffrey’s head and body with swift right hands and judo kicks until he fell into a seated position in the corner. But Rolf pulled Joffrey up and kicked him in the midsection before lifting him HIGH above his shoulders. . ._

_. . ._

_. .. and spun him around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE TOSSING HIM INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A SPINNING CRUCIFIX TOSS!!!_

_“What power and strength from Rolf!” Frylock called, as Joffrey rolled onto his chest and reeled up to a standing position, still dizzy from getting tossed. “Joffrey doesn’t know where he is right now!”_

_“Snap out of it, kid!!! You’re on your way to a dangerous place. . .” Shake foreboded, as Joffrey stumbled backward toward the nearby corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND FELL INTO IT AT A SEATED POSITION!!!_

_“OH NO. . .” yelled Shake. “GET OUT, JOFFREY!! GET OUT!!!”_

_The crowd of fans erupted as Rolf strode into the opposite corner while pointing at the ceiling, and staring down Joffrey with anticipation. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE GIVING HIM THE D-X CROTCH CHOP!!!_

_“It’s too late for him, Shake. . .” Frylock declared. “The fans know what’s coming. . .and if you stop Rolf now, he’s got two words for ya. . .”_

_Rolf then charged out of the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND REPEATEDLY HIT JOFFREY WITH THE BRONCO BUSTER!!!_

_“AND RIGHT NOW, THEY ARE BRONCO BUSTER!!!” Frylock said, as Rolf latched onto the ropes above Joffrey and repeatedly hammered his posterior into Joffrey!_

_“THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY, FRYLOCK!” Shake shouted. “For a king like Joffrey to be a victim of this juvenile move is nothing short of disrespectful!”_

_Rolf then pulled Joffrey by the leg into the center of the ring before running against the ropes behind him. . .and landed a running senton across the chest of Joffrey!!!_

_“Rolf follows up the Bronco Buster with a running senton!!!” Frylock said. “Will it be enough to get him the victory???”_

_Rolf quickly went for the cover, hooking the leg 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 JOFFREY KICKED OUT!!!! Rolf looked down at Joffrey in disbelief!!!_

_“OH MY GOD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT???” Frylock shouted, as Rolf rose up to a standing position, pulling up Joffrey with him. The Son of a Shepherd then lifted Joffrey up onto his shoulders for a pumphandle slam and began to run forward. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR JOFFREY TO DROP OUT OF IT BEHIND HIM!!! Rolf ended up running into the ropes in front of him before coming back toward Joffrey on the bounceback. . ._

_. . .AND GETTING TAKEN DOWN BY A SIDE SLAM BACKBREAKER FROM JOFFREY!!!_

_“LET THE COMEBACK BEGIN!!!” Shake cheered. “Joffrey’s victory is as assured as his reign as King remains long!”_

_Rolf clenched his lower back in pain as he drug himself toward the ropes to pull himself up to his feet. Rolf then turned around and stumbled back toward Joffrey. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO PICKED HIM UP AND DROPPED HIM WITH THE IRON THRONE!!!_

_“THAT DID IT!!! That is ALL SHE WROTE!!!” Shake declared, as Joffrey fell on top of Rolf for the cover!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999999 ROLF KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“JOFFREY’S GOT THE—WHAAAAAAT??????” Shake screamed, as the crowd erupted with cheers while Joffrey punched the mat repeatedly in frustration before standing up and getting in the referee’s face and shouting, “THAT WAS THREE!!!”_

_“Rolf may be a cruiserweight wrestler, but he’s one with strength! It’s gonna take a lot to wear Rolf out for the count. . .” Frylock said, “. . .so Joffrey better put up or quit crying to the referee!”_

_Joffrey continued arguing with the referee, who was still holding up two fingers, and ordering him to continue the fight or he would be disqualified. Joffrey growled loudly under his breath before pulling Rolf up by the hair. . ._

_. . .and taking him up to the top rope!!!_

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Frylock! I thought that was three, too!” Shake insisted. “But now the First of His Character is looking to go high-risk. . .we’ve seen how brutal he can be tonight. . .this may be a royal finish for King Joffrey!!!”_

_Joffrey then stood on the top turnbuckle and pulled Rolf up with him before slugging him with a left club to the chest. Joffrey then picked up Rolf’s legs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .or, he WOULD HAVE, if Rolf didn’t fight back with an elbow to Joffrey’s chest!!!_

_“Or maybe not, Shake!!!” Frylock said. “Both men are up high. . .and one or both of them have a NASTY fall in their sights. . .”_

_Rolf continued to fight back with elbows and kicks to Joffrey’s chest, until Joffrey faltered forward after a third judo kick. . ._

_. . .AND ROLF THREW HIM CHEST-FIRST OFF THE CORNER AND INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING!!!_

_“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!” Shake screamed, as the fans ROARED with cheers once again as Joffrey clenched his head in pain before looking up at Rolf. . ._

_. . ._

_“Rolf’s all alone up there, Shake!!!” Frylock said, as Rolf sized up Joffrey. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .leapt off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND THIS TIME, CONNECTED WITH THE DIVING TORNADO DDT!!!!_

_“THE DIVING TORNADO DDT CONNECTS!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as Rolf crawled toward Joffrey for a cover to a MASSIVE pop from the crowd!!! “DID ROLF GET IT???”_

_“For the sake of these fanboys, let’s hope NOT, Frylock. . .” Shake said._

_Rolf draped his arm over Joffrey’s chest for the cover!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999999999999 JOFFREY KICKED OUT!!!!_

_“IT’S OVER---NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” Frylock screamed, as the fans groaned in disappointment while Rolf rolled off from the cover, looking up at the lights in silent contemplation._

_“What else does Rolf have to do in order to earn himself the victory???” Frylock wondered. “WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO TO BEAT JOFFREY???”_

_“There’s NOTHING he can do, Frylock!” Shake responded. “He’s a commoner that can’t touch the power that comes with Joffrey’s royalty!”_

_Rolf then pulled Joffrey up to his feet by the collar of his shirt and dropped him with a Jawbreaker that sent him reeling into a nearby corner. Rolf then stepped back into the opposite corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and gave Joffrey the D-X crotch chop one more time!!!_

_“Rolf is telling Joffrey that the end is near. . .” Frylock foreboded, as Joffrey stumbled out of the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .while Rolf charged out of his corner with his arm raised out. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND HIT THE REFEREE WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY AFTER JOFFREY TOSSED HIM INTO ROLF’S PATH!!!!_

_“NOOOOO!!!! GOD DAMN IT, NO!!!!!” Frylock yelled. “JOFFREY JUST THREW THE REFEREE INTO HARM’S WAY!!!!”_

_“HAHAHA!!! Talk about resourcefulness, Frylock!” Shake said. “The referee got a mouthful of Rolf’s COC!!!”_

_“That’s. . .almost funny enough to make me feel better about this, Shake. . .” Frylock replied, as Rolf looked up at his adversary with a dirty look before rearing his arm back for a right hand. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL JOFFREY HIT HIM SQUARE IN THE BALLS WITH A LOW BLOW!!!!_  
  


_“NOOOOOOOO!!!! THE LOW BLOW!!!!” shouted Frylock in disgust. “AND THE REFEREE IS DOWN!!!!!”_

_Rolf fell onto his knees, clenching his groin in agonizing pain until. . ._

_. . .at least, he WAS. . .until Joffrey pulled him back up in position for a powerbomb. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before lifting him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TAKING HIM DOWN WITH THE KING’S LANDING!!!!”_

_“WHAT POWER AND STRATEGY!!!! THE KING’S LANDING CONNECTS!!!” Shake exclaimed, as Joffrey went for the cover, hooking the leg while the referee slowly but surely rose onto his knees!!!_

_“STRATEGY, MY ASS, SHAKE!!!!” Frylock yelled, as the referee made the count! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!_

_“DAMMIT!!!! JOFFREY STOLE THE WIN!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd ERUPTED into boos while the bell rang!_

**_“The winner of this match. . .’The First of His Character’. . .JOFFREY BARATHEON!!!!”_ **

_“That match wasn’t won by strategy OR power, Shake, and you know it!” Frylock said with disgust. “Rolf had The First of His Character in his sights for the Clothesline from the Old Country, but the conniving king that is Joffrey Baratheon threw the referee into his path! The only way he beat the Hardcore Champion, Rolf, was through the use of underhanded, cheap tactics!”_

_Joffrey raised two fists up in the air, smiling and laughing with joy as he stepped backwards up the ramp, watching Rolf slowly but surely pull himself up to a seated position in the center of the ring while the referee, clenching his head in pain, left the ring under the bottom rope._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Frylock!” dismissed Shake. “The referee was in the wrong place at the wrong time! And even if he DID grab the referee, Joffrey is the kind of kid who knows when a man needs a reality check! He gave one to Jonny, he gave one to Rolf, and if his challenge is accepted, he’s gonna give one to Double D at Shockwave!”_

 

Joffrey chuckled to himself on the stage, glaring at Rolf with a smug, condescending look on his face until he stepped to the backstage area, while Rolf looked down at the mat in a seated position until the show transitioned to the ring, where Joffrey Irish whipped Jimmy across the ring.

 

“And Joffrey would go after ANOTHER Peach Creek resident six days before Shockwave. . .but with his challenge to Double D not yet accepted, Joffrey Baratheon had a TON of steam to blow off, and poor Jimmy would be the recipient of torture from the First of His Character.” Frylock informed. “But what happened AFTER the match brought a sight for sore eyes to the Ruler of the Iron Throne. . .and was long awaited by the XCW fans. . .”

_Jimmy ran toward Joffrey on the bounceback. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .only for Joffrey to throw him upwards. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND WHACK HIM IN THE CHIN WITH A POP-UP EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!!!!_

_“OH MAN!!!!!” Shake cringed. “Joffrey is NOT letting up against Jimmy!”_

_“He came out here angry his challenge hadn’t been accepted yet, Shake. . .and he’s taking all his rage out on poor Jimmy!” Frylock said, as Joffrey knelt down. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND PUT JIMMY INTO THE LANNISTER LOCK (Death Star Chokehold)!!!_

_“Oh my God, now he’s got Jimmy in the Lannister Lock!!!!” Frylock called. “And Jimmy has nowhere to go!!!”_

_The crowd erupted into boos as Joffrey only intensified the hold!!! The referee knelt down before asking Jimmy if he wanted to quit. All Jimmy could do was wheeze and gasp for air until he began to cough up blood!!!_

_“Oh God. . .this. . .this is too much. . .” Frylock cringed, as Jimmy’s eyes rolled back into his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and tapped out with his last bit of energy before falling unconscious._

_“Thank GOD it’s over. . .” Frylock said, solemnly, as the bell rang and the fans erupted into a chorus of boos. . .but Joffrey wouldn’t let go of the hold!!!_

**_“The winner of this match. . .JOFFREY BARATHEON!!!”_ **

_The referee yelled at Joffrey to let go of the hold, which Joffrey eventually did, before shoving him out of the ring under the bottom rope._

_“Well ladies and gentlemen, after just three matches, the First of His Character, Joffrey Baratheon has solidified himself as both one of the most dangerous men in this company, and a man with nothing but sinister intentions.” Frylock declared. “And every man he’s beaten is an ally of his first major target. . .Double D. I truly fear for The Sockhead’s safety if he and this conniving king ever cross paths!”_

_Joffrey stood up, snapping at the referee when he ordered him up the ramp. The referee then left the ring, looking at the First of His Character with disgust while he stepped out of the ring, wiping his feet on the apron before grabbing a microphone._

_“He’s better off leaving XCW, Frylock. . .because Joffrey is gonna rule XCW the same way he rules the land of Westeros: with an iron fist!” Shake declared. “Joffrey didn’t just defeat Jimmy in this match tonight. . .he rendered him LIFELESS, just like he promised when he came here. Now that we know he’s a king that keeps his promises, and the full extent of Joffrey’s strength and wrestling prowess, it’s time to give Joffrey matches against REAL talents in this company, not some scrawny-ass dork!”_

_Joffrey stepped back into the ring with a microphone in hand and glared around the arena at the fans, who were VENOMOUS with their boos._

_“Don’t act like you commoners REALLY cared about that fluffy ingrate!” Joffrey said, to MORE boos from the crowd, and even a chant of, “YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK!!!”_

_“He’s only done one notable thing in this company, and that’s act as FODDER for the true talents at play. . .talents. . .like ME. . .Joffrey Baratheon. . .the Ruler of the Iron Throne. . .the First of His Name. . .and the First of His Character. And a man with royal stature like myself deserves to face BETTER competition. . .because in the span of a month, I have an undefeated record. . .but PRIMARILY because the man I WISH to face. . .your beloved DOUBLE D. . .doesn’t want to accept the challenge that I made. Either he never recovered from the pain I inflicted on him at Silver Lining. . .or he’s finding ways to keep himself preoccupied so he can’t face me. Either way, for once he would be the smart one between us. . .because I would tear him limb from limb and beat him to within an inch of his life. . .just as I have to his allies Jonny. . .Rolf. . .AND Jimmy. You are the epitome of EVERYTHING I despise about your kind, Double D. . .you believe ignorance is bliss, you are driven by a cheap, moronic sense of humor, and are nothing but a COMMONER that’s in way over your head. And if you don’t want to face me at Shockwave. . .then I’ll just find ANOTHER rising star in fiction wrestling to slaughter like a bloody PIG—“_

_But Joffrey was suddenly interrupted by. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .”ARE YOU READY????”_

_. . .and the fans just ERUPTED WITH CHEERS while “Stoopid Ass” by Grand Theft Audio played!!!_

_“WAIT A MINUTE. . .” Frylock exclaimed, as a series of green lights went up in the arena._

_"You think you can tell us what to do? You think you can tell us what to wear? You think that you're better?”_

_The drums kicked in on the song._

_"Well you better get ready. . .bow to the masters. . ."_

_Records scratch on the song - "BREAK IT DOWN!"_

_Once the heavy guitars kicked on. . .the fans EXPLODED into a standing ovation. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BECAUSE DOUBLE D STEPPED ONTO THE STAGE!!!!_

_“IT’S DOUBLE D!!!! DOUBLE D FROM D-GENERATION ED HAS MADE HIS RETURN TO XCW!!!” Frylock exclaimed, as Double D made his way down the ramp, glaring at Joffrey the whole way with a scowl on his face. “AND HE’S MAKING A BEELINE TOWARD JOFFREY!!!”_

_“He’s on his way into the lion’s den, Frylock!” Shake said. “You heard Joffrey! He said he would tear Double D limb from limb and beat him to within an inch of his life!!! Hell, even you said you feared for Double D’s safety inside the ring with Joffrey!”_

_Double D entered the ring above the second rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, making the word ‘ED’ with his hands and holding it above his head toward the fans, celebrating his return with the fans but retaining the same focused scowl._

_“I do because while Joffrey is a dangerous individual, Double D appears to be ALL business here tonight!” replied Frylock. “He’s heard all of Joffrey’s words, watched all his matches. . .I think he’s had enough of it, and he will finally have an answer to the First of His Character’s challenge right here tonight!”_

_The lights went up and the crowd was still chanting, “DOUBLE D!!! DOUBLE D!!! DOUBLE D!!!!” while the Sockhead grabbed a microphone and stood across from Joffrey in the center of the ring._

_“Well, well, well. . .it’s nice of you to finally show up—“ Joffrey said, until—_

_“SILENCE, YOU TYRANT!!!” shouted Double D, to MORE cheers from the crowd. “I have heard you speak for far longer than I wanted to. . .I watched you give Jonny a concussion. . .I watched you steal a victory from my friend Rolf. . .and tonight, I saw you choke the life out of Jimmy. . .but I am here right now to stop your reign of terror BEFORE it starts. Because I’m aware of your challenge to a one-on-one match at Shockwave. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND I ACCEPT.”_

_The crowd erupted into more cheers as Joffrey looked at Double D with a smug smirk._

_“But you can wipe that grin off your face RIGHT NOW, Joffrey. . .because I have words of my own that you need to hear,” Double D said, before speaking into the microphone again._

_“You see, after Silver Lining, I heard you say that I deserved your attack because I am a commoner. . .and I also heard you belittle all of these people for holding me in high esteem. Well, let me inform you of something right here, and right now, MISTER. . .I may be a commoner, but being a commoner has gotten me more allies here, in PCUW, and on Animated. . .than you EVER will during your reign as king. In fact, I take PRIDE in being a commoner, because it’s kept me humble, gotten me and my friends all the success we’ve had all these years, and helped me connect with the fans all around us tonight! The fans in the stands, and the fans watching us at home are the people I fight for. . .along with the friends I came to this industry with. It’s MY friends that you have assaulted. . .”_

_Double D then gestured toward the fans in the stands before saying,_

_“. . .and it’s THESE people that you have insulted. If there’s anyone that doesn’t deserve to be attacked by you. . .it’s THEM!!!”_

_The crowd cheered as the grin on Joffrey’s face faltered while Double D glared from across the ring at him with a stern look on his face._

_“You also said you attacked me because I was due for a reality check. . .well, let me give YOU one, kind sir. . .you believe that you can just walk right into this company and treat my friends so shamefully just because you’re a KING. . .but let me inform you that no matter who you are, no matter what you’ve done in any other company, country or reality that you’ve come from, no matter what position in government or royalty you hold. . .NONE of it matters once you’re a member of the XCW roster. . .you still have to work your way up from the bottom to establish your own legacy, not by setting unreasonable standards and rules for how the rest of us wrestlers in the back should interact with you! No one is above anyone in this company, no matter if they’re made from paper, a computer. . .or if they come from real life!_

_And then you told us. . .about your ultimate goal. . .to eradicate the ‘cartoon’ out of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .just for being light-hearted in nature. I am aware of what’s happened in your realm. . .your heroes have been put through psychological and physical tests. . .you’ve put them through all kinds of unspeakable horrors. . .and you’ve KILLED innocent people. Nobody can be trusted in your world. . .but in MY world. . .there’s a balance required between seriousness and levity. . .and I chose to entertain through levity. Our animation may not have been the best. . .our sense of humor may have been low-brow. . .and we may have been off the air for over a decade. . .but if I could bring a smile to one person’s face, make them laugh, or feel happy. . .then I have left a mark in that person’s life. I have done that for millions of people all over the world. . .and with that, I have achieved my ultimate goal in entertainment. But now I have a NEW ultimate goal. . .and that is to keep you from assaulting ANYONE else I love, and ANYONE in this company. You’ve said that winter is coming for XCW. . .but the one thing that’s coming for YOU this Sunday at Shockwave. . .is your COMEUPPANCE! I am going to put you in your place by giving you the beating that you deserve! This will not be just a trial by combat. . .but a trial by FIRE. . .because if there’s anyone that doesn’t respect you. . .or FEAR you. . .it’s ME!!!”_

_Joffrey scowled as the fans erupted into more cheers and chants of, “DOUBLE D!!! DOUBLE D!!! DOUBLE D!!!!” Meanwhile, Double D turned the microphone so that he was holding it at an angle. . ._

_“. . .and if you don’t like THAT. . .then I’ve got TWO WORDS FOR YA. . .”_

_. . .BUT JOFFREY NAILED DOUBLE D IN THE HEAD WITH THE MICROPHONE, KNOCKING HIM DOWN TO THE MAT!!!!_

_“OOOOOOH!!!!” Shake cringed, as Joffrey landed on top of Double D and started hammering away at his face with thunderous right and left hands!!!_

_“OH MY GOD!!!! DOUBLE D JUST GAVE JOFFREY A LETHAL DOSE OF THE TRUTH!!! BUT HE’S HEARD ENOUGH!!!!” Frylock shouted, as Joffrey continued hitting Double D in the face with fists of fury. . ._

_. . .UNTIL DOUBLE D ROLLED JOFFREY ONTO HIS BACK AND HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS OF HIS OWN!!!_

_“NOW DOUBLE D HAS JOFFREY DOWN!!!” Frylock yelled, as Double D then pulled Joffrey up to his feet and Irish whipped him hard across the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE TAKING HIM DOWN WITH AN ED-SPLODER SUPLEX (Sami Zayn’s Exploder Suplex)!!!!!_

_“DOUBLE D TAKES DOWN JOFFREY WITH A BRAND NEW MOVE IN HIS ARSENAL!!!” Frylock yelled, as Joffrey slid out of the ring under the bottom rope, while Double D strode up a corner and stood on the top rope!!! “And Joffrey’s had enough!!!”_

_Double D scowled from the top rope at Joffrey, who was looking down at the ringside floor with his hands on his knees, before looking up at Double D with eyes incensed with rage while Double D’s entrance music hit._

_“That was absolutely UNCALLED FOR, Frylock!” Shake insisted. “How can he say all that unbelievable, untrue SHIT about King Joffrey AND lay his hands on him??? This kid is in WAY over his head!!!”_

_“He didn’t return to Monday Night Massacre to talk SHIT, Shake. . .he came here to tell the TRUTH, and give some much needed payback to Joffrey after costing him the World Television Championship at Silver Lining, and after everything he’s said and done this month!” Frylock responded. “These two young guns despise one another. . .and if that short of a brawl between them was so heated. . .what’s gonna happen this Sunday at Shockwave when they stand toe-to-toe against each other one-on-one???”_  


Joffrey Baratheon stepped backward up the ramp, shouting obscenities at Double D, who yelled harsh words back at him until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Frylock sat on a barstool in front of a high-definition television.

 

“So Double D and Joffrey Baratheon finally got to meet each other in an XCW ring last Monday night on Massacre, but if their altercation following their war of words was any indication, they are going to put a NUMBER on each other once the bell rings and their match begins this Sunday at Shockwave!” Frylock said.

 

“The only number that’s going on anyone is the number FOUR. . .” Shake declared, “. . .because Double D will be _victim_ number four for the First of His Character, and another stepping stone to King Joffrey’s unparalleled legacy all across the realm of fiction!”

 

“We’ll see about that, Shake. . .but for now, we go from the First of His Character. . .to the XCW Tag Team Championship picture.” Frylock informed. “On the first episode of Monday Night Massacre in August, the South Park Four made it very clear that they wanted to use their rematch clause to fight for the XCW Tag titles they lost at Silver Lining against Scorpion and Sub-Zero at Shockwave. . .but what was unclear was who would fight in that match, and it wouldn’t be an easy decision for the kids to make. . .”

 

_The show transitioned to the backstage area, where the South Park Four stood next to Mimi Tachikawa, who had a microphone in hand._

_“Stan, Eric, Kyle and Kenny. . .” Mimi said, “. . .last night at Silver Lining, you lost your tag team championship to Scorpion and Sub-Zero of the Knighthood of Assassins; how do you feel right now and where do you go from here?”_

_“It’s simple, Mimi.” Stan answered. “We’re not gonna take this loss sitting do—“_

_“Let ME answer this question, Stan…” Cartman interrupted, before taking the microphone from his tag team partner. “Mimi, it should be quite obvious. . .that we are SO FREAKIN’ PISSED OFF right now!!! We had those asshole assassins beaten, but like the weasels that they are, found a way to steal the victory from us! But I’ll tell ya where we go from here….we’re gonna go RIGHT BACK TO ‘EM!!! Because we still have a rematch clause. . .and we’re gonna use it at Shockwave!!! They better enjoy wearing our belts while they can. . .because we have more tag team experience together than they ever have...and now that they’ve tipped over the proverbial COW, we’ll be all over them like flies on SHIT!!! And by the time that we’re done, we’ll have taught them to RESPECT OUR AUTHORITAH!!!!”_

_“Uh. . .Cartman. . .” Kyle said, “. . .the Knighthood beat us clean last night.”_

_“Yeah. We are gonna use our rematch clause at Shockwave, but give ‘em credit where it’s due, man.” Stan said._

_  
“NO!!! I won’t give them credit because they DON’T DESERVE my credit, those STUPID ASSHOLES!!!!” Cartman seethed. “I can’t wait to show ‘em exactly how I feel about ‘em at Shockwave—“_

_“Who said you would be fighting them?” Stan asked, to a look of confusion from Cartman._

_“Uh…wha—what?” asked the South Park Enforcer in disbelief._

_“We agreed that it was time to shake things up amongst the stable after losing the titles. So I’m going to be teaming with Stan now.” Kyle informed._

_“But—but—BUT….you can’t do this to me! I’M THE ENFORCER!!!!” Cartman yelled. “I WORE ONE OF THE LAST TAG TITLE BELTS!!!”_

_“But I’ve barely seen any in-ring action since we debuted!” Kyle insisted._

_“Mpph mph mphhh mph mmppph mhhm mph.” Kenny added._

_“Kenny’s right, dude. Cartman does have a point.” Stan said._

_Kyle sighed. “Okay, how about THIS. . .next up, Stan and I will team up against you and Kenny, FATSO. And the winner goes on to face Scorpion and Sub-Zero in our rematch. Is that fair?”_

_“That’s fine!” Cartman agreed._

_“Good luck. . .and may the better team win!” Kyle said._

_“. . .we plan to.” Cartman shouted, grabbing Kenny by the hand and pulling him away. “C’mon Kenny, we gotta go BULK UP….”_

_“MPPPPH??!?!” Kenny muffled, being drug away from the interview area, leaving Stan and Kyle behind._

_“Dude, what the hell got into him?” Stan wondered._

_“Meh, he’s probably still butthurt from last night. . .he’ll get over it after we beat him next week.” Kyle said._

_“Yeah, you’re right. . .” Stan agreed, “. . .hopefully. . .”_

Stan and Kyle looked down the hallway until the show transitioned to the arena, where Stan had Cartman locked in the Sharpshooter in the center of the ring!!!

 

“And the South Park Four would settle their internal dispute by having it out in a tag team match against each other, with the winner going on to face Scorpion and Sub-Zero for the XCW Tag Team titles at Shockwave!” Frylock informed. “The Bad Boys of Comedy Central know each other so well, that they put on a wrestling clinic against each other, so much so, that it was hard to tell if the better team really won. . .”

 

_“The South Park Leader, Stan Marsh, has had Cartman in his Sharpshooter for more than a fat minute!!!” Frylock called. “Will the South Park Enforcer tap out???”_

_Stan only applied more pressure onto the hold, and Cartman screamed in agonizing pain!!! The referee knelt down and asked Cartman if he wanted to quit. The South Park Enforcer shook his head no before letting out a scream of intense agony!!!_

_Cartman inched closer to the ropes, but couldn’t get any further as Stan kept intensifying the hold more and more!!! Wincing in pain, Cartman_ _extended his arm out. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .kept his arm raised high in the air. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .wormed closer to the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY DRAPED HIS ARM OVER THE BOTTOM ROPE, FORCING STAN TO BREAK THE HOLD!!!_

_“AND ERIC CARTMAN, ROLLS AND ALL, HAS MADE IT TO THE ROPES!!!” Frylock called. “But now how will Stan proceed?”_

_The South Park Leader complied with the referee and let go of the hold before rolling up to his feet and pulling Cartman into the center of the ring by his legs before pulling them up. . ._

_. . .AND RAMMING CARTMAN’S KNEES INTO THE MAT WITH A KNEE SMASH!!!_

_“The South Park Leader fighting smart by going after the bad legs of Eric Cartman!” Frylock said, as Stan went for the cover, hooking the leg! “Will he get the win for himself and Kyle???”_

_The referee made the count 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 CARTMAN KICKED OUT!!! Stan rolled off the cover and crawled toward Kyle for a tag while Cartman did the same while crawling for Kenny, who was slapping his hand on the top turnbuckle in front of him!_

_“These two teams of best friends have put a number on each other, and are each looking for a tag out!” Frylock said. “Whoever makes the tag first just might be the team that’s going to Shockwave to take on the Knighthood!”_

_Stan and Cartman extended their hands out. . ._

_. . .reached for their partners hands. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tags, with Kyle getting tagged in just a second before Kenny!!!_

_“And here comes the South Park Submitter and the South Park Extremist!!!” Frylock called, as Kenny leapt over all three ropes and charged toward Kyle. . .who immediately took him down with a clothesline!!! Kyle turned around and made his way back toward Kenny, who he took down again with another clothesline!!! Kenny rolled up to his feet and ran toward Kyle again. . .who picked him up and took him down with a sidewalk slam!!! Kyle then picked Kenny up and put him in a standing full nelson hold!!! The South Park Extremist muffled under his coat, wincing in pain as the referee asked him if he wanted to quit. But Kenny shook his head no as Kyle intensified the hold. . ._

_. . .at least, he WOULD have, if Kenny didn’t nail the South Park Submitter in the shin with a back kick!!! Kyle faltered a bit, groaning in pain until Kenny gripped Kyle into a headlock and dropping him in the center of the ring with a Russian leg sweep!!! Kenny then ran toward the ropes. . .leapt onto the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LANDED A SPRINGBOARD ELBOW DROP ONTO THE STERNUM OF KYLE!!!_

_“The South Park Extremist lived up to his moniker with that springboard elbow drop!!!” Frylock said. “Will Kenny get the win???”_

_Kenny quickly pulled Kyle’s leg up, going for the cover!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 KYLE KICKED OUT!!! Kenny couldn’t believe it!!!_

_“NOOO!!! HOW CLOSE WAS THAT???” Frylock wondered, as Kenny stared down Kyle on his way up to his feet and Irish whipped him across the ring. . .only for Kyle to counter it with an Irish whip of his own!!! Kenny bounced off the ropes and ran back toward Kyle, who nailed him in the chin with an uppercut!!! Kenny reeled backward against the ropes, gently bouncing off the ropes back in Kyle’s direction. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND RIGHT INTO A NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX FROM KYLE!!! Kyle then rose up to his feet, waiting for Kenny to rise up to a standing position. The South Park Extremist eventually made it up to his knees until Kyle hooked his arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .lifted him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE HIM INTO THE MAT WITH A DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB!!!_

_“THE POWERBOMB CONNECTS!!! What strength from Kyle Broflovski!” Frylock said. “Is it enough to pick up the win for him and the South Park Leader???”_

_Kyle fell on top of Kenny for the cover, 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999999999 ERIC CARTMAN BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!!!_

_“The South Park Enforcer broke up the three count!!!” Frylock called, as Kyle narrowed his eyes at Cartman from the center of the ring in confused frustration. “And the South Park Submitter did not like that one bit!”_

_“Just because they’re friends and stablemates doesn’t mean a lick of crap, Frylock!” Shake declared. “Cartman wants to fight the Knighthood more than Stan and Kyle all put together!!!”_

_Cartman made it back to his corner while Kyle turned his attention back toward Kenny. . ._

_. . .WHO KICKED HIM IN THE MIDSECTION AND LEAPT UP FOR A SOUTH PARK STUNN—NO!!! Kyle shoved Kenny into the ropes in front of him!!! Kenny bounced off the ropes and Kyle went for a kick to the midsection of his own. . ._

_. . .but Kenny leapt over the South Park Submitter!!! Kenny hit the ropes behind him and leapt toward Kyle for a flying forearm. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR THE SOUTH PARK SUBMITTER TO CATCH HIM IN MID-AIR WITH AN ARMBREAKER!!!_

_“BAH GAWD KYLE BROFLOVSKI MAY HAVE JUST PULLED KENNY’S ARM OUT OF PLACE WITH THAT ARMBREAKER!!!” Frylock shouted, as Kyle ran against the ropes behind him and bounced back toward Kenny for a Spear. . ._

_. . .but the South Park Extremist took Kyle by surprise with a drop toe hold. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .THAT LANDED KYLE’S HEAD AND ARMS DRAPED OVER THE MIDDLE ROPE!!!! The XCW fans were on their feet as Kenny charged toward the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED KYLE IN THE FACE WITH THE 303!!!!_

_  
“THE 303 CONNECTS!!!! KYLE’S ALL ALONE IN THE CENTER OF THE RING AND KENNY’S GOING UP TOP!!!” Frylock yelled, as Kenny climbed up to the top rope. . ._

_. . .sized Kyle up. . ._

_. . .AND LEAPT OFF THE TOP ROPE---AFTER CARTMAN SLAPPED HIM ON THE BACK, TAGGING HIMSELF IN!!!_

_“Wait a minute!!! Cartman’s the new legal man!!!” Frylock said. “Does Kenny even know---?”_

_Kenny landed a Frog Splash onto Kyle while Cartman ran into the ring, charging toward the opposite corner and knocked Stan off the ring apron!!!_

_  
“The South Park Enforcer just laid waste to the South Park Leader!!!” Frylock said. “What the hell is going through this young man’s mind???”_

_  
“He’s securing the victory for himself and Kenny, Frylock!” Shake replied. “You saw how angry he was earlier! He wants nothing more than the XCW Tag Team title around his waist. . .that is, if it can FIT. . .”_

_Kenny then went for the cover, only to look up at the referee in confusion as the referee told him that he wasn’t the legal man!!! Kenny reluctantly stepped toward his corner while Cartman pulled a VERY groggy Kyle up to his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .kicked him in the midsection. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM IN THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!!_

_“AND THERE’S THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!!!” Frylock yelled, as Cartman went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!_  
  


_“THE SOUTH PARK ENFORCER GETS THE LAST WORD, AND HE AND KENNY MCCORMICK ARE GOING TO SHOCKWAVE!!!!” Frylock said, while the crowd exploded into a mix of more positive pops than boos as the bell rang!_

**_“The winners of this match. . .’The South Park Extremist’ Kenny McCormick. . .and ‘The South Park Enforcer’. . .ERIC CARTMAN!!!!”_ **

_“We have just seen a side of the South Park Enforcer, Eric Cartman, that we’ve never seen before on XCW. . .” Frylock said, “. . .this kid has always been unpredictable and out for himself. . .but he took that to a whole new level in this match tonight. Whatever’s going through his mind right now. . .can’t be anything less than unsettling. . .”_

_The referee raised Cartman and Kenny’s arms in victory while Stan slowly but surely made his way back into the ring with a microphone in hand._

_“You’re overthinking it, Frylock!” Shake said. “Losing the XCW Tag Team titles lit a fire inside the South Park Enforcer! He wants to do nothing more than to win them back, even if it means beating up his friends for it! If you ask me, I’m betting all my money on him and Kenny to win the belts back from the Knighthood at Shockwave! The strength and tenacity of Scorpion and Sub-Zero are now matched by Kenny’s speed and Cartman’s edge! Those assassins better be ready for what’s coming to ‘em!”_

_“You’ve made your case, Shake. . .” Frylock conceded, “. . .but now what’s Stan Marsh gotta say?”_

_“Hey dude. . .I don’t know what that was. . .or where that came from, but I have to admit, you earned this victory.” Stan said. “You REALLY want to win the tag team titles for us again. . .and you and Kenny proved it tonight by putting a number on us. So congrats to you and Kenny for being the better men tonight. . .now win the XCW Tag Team titles back. . .in the name of the South Park Four.”_

_“Why thank you, Stanley. . .” Cartman said, in a rather. . .ambiguous tone before turning toward the fans in the audience. “. . .a victory for me is a victory for the South Park Four, after all. . .and I can assure you that we damn sure WILL win back those tag team championships! Because as the South Park Enforcer, it is time to enforce our vengeance on the Knighthood! They better have enough calamine lotion because up until Shockwave, the four of us will be all over Scorpion and Sub-Zero like the WORST ITCH!!! And once the big night finally comes around, with Kenny’s extreme methods of wrestling. . .and my unprecedented wrestling talent, the Knighthood will learn to respect our authoritah over XCW’s tag team division. . ._

_. . .AND THAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE, ‘CAUSE ERIC CARTMAN SAID SO!!!”_

_Cartman dropped the microphone before he, Stan and Kenny raised each other’s arms in the center of the ring, while Kyle staggered toward them and reluctantly joined in, clenching the back of his neck in pain._

_“Now how about that?” Shake said. “Cartman got kind words from the South Park Leader, Stan Marsh, and he gets his allegiance to the South Park Four right back to him from Eric Cartman!” Frylock said. “And the South Park Enforcer followed that up with a message right to the Knighthood of Assassins! They’re not gonna let up on this new edge of theirs until the tag team titles are back in the name of the South Park Four! I’ve got a feeling that after tonight, they’ll get just what they want as long as they keep this kind of energy up!”_

_The South Park Four continued to celebrate in the ring until the show cut to the backstage area, where Scorpion and Sub-Zero stood in front of a high-definition television, watching the South Park Four’s post-match celebration intently._

_“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but in your own words Shake, you got that right.” agreed Frylock. “We heard the words straight from the horse’s mouth: Cartman’s fired up and ready for a fight against the Knighthood of Assassins, and the South Park Four are a unit that will stay together through thick and thin! However, he and the South Park Extremist, Kenny McCormick, can’t go in thinking this match is theirs to lose. . .the Knighthood fight by their code and prepare themselves well like the dangerous veterans they are. . .you must assume that Scorpion and Sub-Zero saw this match, and are coming up with a strategy of their own to crush the hopes of this equally decorated unit. . .”_

Scorpion and Sub-Zero never took their eyes off the television until the show transitioned to the ring, where Cartman Irish whipped Johnny Bravo across the ring before landing a Lou Thesz Press and hammering Johnny in the face with several right hands!

 

“Sure enough, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick would take the energy that they exuded that night and carry it over into their tag team match against the Johnny Boyz on the following week’s episode of Monday Night Massacre!” Frylock said. “The South Park Enforcer and Extremist held nothing back in this straightforward tag team match. . .just as the Knighthood didn’t at the end of it. . .”

_Eric Cartman then ran against the ropes before charging back toward a down Johnny Bravo. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and successfully landing the Big Boy Splash across Johnny’s body!!!_

_“The Big Boy Splash connects!!!” Frylock called. “The weight of Eric Cartman may have just cracked the six-pack of Johnny Bravo!!!”_

_Cartman remained on top of Johnny for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 JOHNNY KICKED OUT!!! Cartman rolled off the cover and charged the Johnny Boyz’ corner. . ._

_. . .BEFORE KNOCKING JONNY 2x4 OFF THE APRON WITH A HARD ELBOW TO THE FACE!!!_

_  
“With Johnny Bravo down, Cartman wants to take care of business by knocking the Melonhead out of the equation!” Frylock said, as Cartman turned back around and stomped toward Johnny Bravo, who had just staggered up to his feet but was still groggy. . ._

_. . .until Cartman whipped him around by the arm so he could face him. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before kicking him in the midsection. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM WITH THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!!!_

_“THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER CONNECTS!!! AND JOHNNY BRAVO GOES FLYING!!!” Frylock shouted, as the crowd erupted with a POP while Cartman quickly tagged in Kenny McCormick. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .who was perched on the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL HE LEAPT OFF TO LAND A FROG SPLASH ACROSS THE CHEST OF JOHNNY BRAVO!!!_

_“And Kenny follows up with a Frog Splash!” added Frylock. “Great teamwork by the South Park Four!”_

_Kenny clenched his chest from the impact before falling back on top of Johnny for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!_

_“And with that teamwork, Cartman and Kenny get the victory!” Frylock finished, with Kenny rising up to his knees as the bell rang!_

 

**_“The winners of this match. . .’The South Park Extremist’ Kenny McCormick. . .and ‘The South Park Enforcer’. . .ERIC CARTMAN!!!!”_ **

_“Ladies and gentlemen, I can safely say that Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick followed up their victory last week against their stablemates with another emphatic victory! And if you ask me, the South Park Enforcer appeared to work better with Kenny than he did with Stan! The speed and quickness of the South Park Extremist was a perfect contrast to Cartman’s brawling and powerhouse methods of wrestling! It’s that kind of variety that’ll give them the edge over the Knighthood of Assassins at Shockwave!” Frylock said, as the referee raised both their arms in victory, to more cheers from the crowd._

_“They didn’t just beat the Johnny Boyz tonight, Frylock. . .they made a statement to Scorpion and Sub-Zero!” Shake said, as Kenny and Cartman posed on two turnbuckles toward the fans. “I’d put my money on ‘em to win in thirteen days at Shockwave, because they’re furious, they’re fast, and they’re fired up! The Knighthood of Assassins better be ready for these kids, because they’re gonna come after the Tag Team titles like a house of fire!”_

_Cartman and Kenny then stepped off the turnbuckles, meeting in the center of the ring to raise each other’s hands above their heads. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .they heard a slow clap behind them. . .?_

_“Wait a minute. . .what the hell is THAT?” Frylock wondered, as Cartman and Kenny’s faces fell into looks of confusion until they turned around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and saw Scorpion on the Titantron outside their locker room!!!_

_“. . .bravo, Eric. . .Kenny. . .bravo,” the Kombatant said. “You two really impressed Sub-Zero and I tonight. You won against a team that hasn’t seen an XCW ring in MONTHS. We’re TRULY terrified to step into the ring against you kids at Shockwave.”_

_Cartman and Kenny stepped off their respective corners and paced closer toward the Titantron._

_“In case you’re too young to get it, that was SARCASM.” Scorpion said. “You and Kenny may work well better as a team. . .but as you know from experience, the Assassins and I fight with brutal, unrelenting strength. . .and we don’t stop until our opponents are FINISHED. That said, you may not know that we fight with a code. . .Honor Among Assassins. Our fights are our own. . .and we expect our opponents to do the same. Amongst the four of you, your leaders Stan and Kyle fight with the most honor. . .but given your reputations as ‘The Bad Boys of Comedy Central’. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .Sub-Zero and I didn’t want to take any chances.”_

_Scorpion then punched open the door of the South Park Four’s locker room. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .REVEALING STAN KNOCKED OUT ON THE FLOOR WHILE SUB-ZERO WAS BASHING KYLE’S FACE INTO A LOCKER ROOM!!!_

_“OH MY GOD!!!!” Frylock screamed, while Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick stepped back, looking on at the scene in shock!!!_

_“HOLY CRAP!!! THE KNIGHTHOOD HAS GONE BALLISTIC!!!” Shake exclaimed, as Sub-Zero continued to ram Kyle’s face into the locker until his face was busted open! Meanwhile, Scorpion stepped into the locker room and slugged a VERY groggy Stan with a right hand that knocked him into the wall behind him. The Icon of UWE then draped Stan’s arm over his back before lifting him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING HIM THROUGH A WOODEN BENCH WITH A STANDING SHIRANUI!!! Meanwhile, Sub-Zero leapt up and spun around a dazed Kyle before gripping him around the neck. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING HIM HEAD-FIRST THROUGH A STEEL CHAIR WITH A WHEELBARROW BODYSCISSORS BULLDOG!!!_

_  
Cartman and Kenny looked on at the assault with a look of incensed rage before they stepped out of the ring and ran up the ramp!_

_“You’ll getting here a little too late. . .we were just finishing up.” Sub-Zero said. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHILE SCORPION DROPPED STAN AND KYLE WITH A DOUBLE FATALITY BEHIND HIM!!!!_

_“. . .FLAWLESS VICTORY.” Scorpion said, with a nod in satisfaction. “See you two at Shockwave.”_

_Scorpion and Sub-Zero left the locker room with Stan and Kyle knocked out cold while Cartman and Kenny ran onto the stage and through the entranceway._

_“Well, Shake, I’ve got to tell you. . .the Knighthood of Assassins didn’t just assault Kyle and Stan. . .they made things more PERSONAL between them and the South Park Four. . .” Frylock said._

_“You got that right, Frylock. . .” agreed Shake, as the show transitioned to the ring, where Sub-Zero and Rolf were brawling in the center of the ring!_

_“After that vicious assault from the Knighthood of Assassins and Solid Snake gaining back the XCW Hardcore Championship, the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf would find Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick in the back and ask for their help in fighting the Knighthood before Shockwave. From there, a six-man tag team match would be made for the following week on Monday Night Massacre: Scorpion, Sub-Zero and Solid Snake would fight against Rolf, Cartman and Kenny! The match was chaotic right from the start, with a finish that only promised more brutality to come in six days at Shockwave. . .”_

_After a series of judo kicks, Sub-Zero spun around Rolf’s body in the center of the ring for a Wheelbarrow Bodyscissors Bulldog. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Rolf caught him in mid-spin before lifting him onto his shoulder. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A RUNNING PUMPHANDLE SLAM!!!_

_“THE SON OF A SHEPHERD JUST DROPPED SUB-ZERO WITH A THUNDEROUS RUNNING SLAM!!!” Frylock shouted, as Rolf fell down for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .SOLID SNAKE BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!!!_

_“The XCW Hardcore Champion pulling Rolf away from the thrill of victory yet again!” Frylock said. “But the Son of a Shepherd did not like that one bit!”_

_Rolf shot up from the cover and charged after him while the current XCW Hardcore Champion made his way back to his corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR SUB-ZERO TO TAKE HIM DOWN FROM BEHIND WITH A BACKSTABBER!! Sub-Zero drug Rolf into the center of the ring and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . .2.5 ROLF KICKED OUT!!! Sub-Zero rolled off from the cover, exasperated! Both men were down and slowly crawling toward their_ _corners for a tag!!!_

_“We’ve seen four men lay their hands on each other in this epic six-man tag team match. . .but Eric Cartman’s been wanting to get his hands on an Assassin right from the get-go!” Frylock declared._

_“If Rolf has enough strength left, the South Park Enforcer will get his wish. . .” Shake said, “. . .but so will the Icon of UWE!!!”_

_Scorpion and Cartman slapped their hands against the top corners in front of them as their partners crawled closer toward them. Stan and Sub-Zero extended their hands out. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .reached for their partners hands. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tags, with Cartman getting tagged in just a second before Scorpion!_

_“And here we go!!!” Frylock shouted. “We’re about to get a preview of the XCW Tag Title match in six days at Shockwave right here, right now!”_

_Cartman and Scorpion entered the ring and charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring for a brawl! Cartman and Scorpion traded right hands in the center of the ring until Scorpion hit Cartman in the ribs with a throat thrust that forced Cartman to bend over. Scorpion then Irish whipped the South Park Enforcer across the ring and took him down with a sidewalk slam on the bounceback! The Icon of UWE then pulled Cartman back up and slugged him with another right hand that sent him reeling against the ropes. Cartman bounced back toward Scorpion. . ._

_. . .WHO DROPPED HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A 110 TH STREET SLAM!!! Scorpion went for the cover, hooking the leg!!! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.5 KENNY BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A KICK TO THE SIDE!!!_

_“HOW CLOSE WAS SCORPION TO GAINING THE VICTORY FOR THE KNIGHTHOOD???” Frylock screamed, as Kenny rose up to his feet. . .only for Sub-Zero to leap off the top rope and take him down with a diving dragonrana!!!_

_“BAH GAWD SHAKE THAT DRAGONRANA MAY HAVE BROKEN KENNY’S NECK!!!” Frylock yelled._

_“That may have given ME whiplash just looking at it, Frylock!!!” Shake added, as Scorpion lifted Cartman up for a Gutwrench Suplex. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .while Sub-Zero caught his legs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND—COULD NOT HIT THE EXECUTION BECAUSE ROLF TOOK DOWN SUB-ZERO DOWN FROM BEHIND WITH A FULL NELSON SLAM!!!_

_“ROLF COMING TO THE AID OF CARTMAN AND SAVING HIM FROM CERTAIN DOOM!!!” Frylock shouted. “This is devolving into absolute chaos!!!”_

_Sub-Zero rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope while Rolf shouted, “BEWARE THE SON OF A SHEPHERD!!” in his direction. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE SCORPION LIFTED ROLF UP AND DROPPED HIM WITH A BACK SUPLEX SIDE SLAM!!! The Icon of UWE rose up to his feet, staring down Rolf as he rolled out of the ring under the bottom rope. Scorpion then turned around to face Cartman. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO KICKED HIM IN THE MIDSECTION. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND—WAS SHOVED TOWARD THE ROPES IN FRONT OF HIM BY SCORPION!!! Cartman bounced back off the ropes toward the Icon of UWE. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS!!! The crowd ROARED with cheers as Cartman hammered away at the face of Scorpion with swift right hands!!! Cartman then stood up, raising a chubby arm high above his head while running against the ropes next to him. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before bouncing back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LANDING THE BIG BOY SPLASH ACROSS THE STERNUM OF SCORPION!!!_

_“THE BIG BOY SPLASH CONNECTS!!!” Frylock cried. “Will this give the South Park Four payback for last week, and give them much-needed momentum going into their rematch at Shockwave???”_

_  
Cartman remained on top of Scorpion for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 SOLID SNAKE PULLED CARTMAN OFF SCORPION!!!!_

_“NOOOOO!!! THE HARDCORE CHAMPION INTERVENED!!!” Frylock yelled, as Solid Snake lifted Cartman’s leg HIGH off the mat. . .before driving his knee into the mat with a knee smash!!! Cartman clenched his knee in pain until the Hardcore Champion pulled him up by the coat and put him in position for a powerbomb. But Snake lifted him off his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .kept him up for a few short seconds. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and drove him with the Texas Piledriver—_

_\--or, HE WOULD HAVE, IF ROLF DIDN’T CHARGED BACK INTO THE RING AND CLOCK HIM WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!!!_

_“ROLF MADE THE SAVE WITH AN EXPLOSIVE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!!!” Shake shouted, to snickers from Frylock until Scorpion took down the Son of a Shepherd with a BIG clothesline of his own!!! The Icon of UWE then turned his attention back to Eric Cartman, who was staggering back up to his feet. . .until Scorpion lifted him up. . .ran back into the center of the ring. . .and dropped him with an Air Raid Siren!!! Scorpion then rose back up, pulling the South Park Enforcer up by his arm with him. Scorpion then draped Cartman’s arm over his back before lifting him up. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A STANDING SHIRANUI!!!_

_“THE SHIRANUI CONNECTS WITH AUTHORITY!!!” Frylock declared. “Did Scorpion just add salt in the proverbial wound of Eric Cartman???”_

_Scorpion knelt on top of Cartman for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .2.75 CARTMAN KICKED OUT!!! SCORPION COULDN’T BELIEVE IT!!!_

_“NO!!! CARTMAN STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!!!” Frylock called, as Scorpion shot up from the cover, eyes wide in shock! But the Icon of UWE went back up to his feet, shaking his head back into reality as he strode toward an opposing corner. He stared down Cartman, who was struggling to get back up to his knees, and screamed, “GET OVER HERE!!!” at the top of his lungs!_

_  
“This is it. . .Scorpion’s going for the be-all, END ALL of this matchup. . .and is about to send Cartman to Shockwave on a one-way ticket to PAIN. . .” Frylock foreboded, as Scorpion ran toward Cartman for The Fatality—NO!!!_

_  
KENNY TRIPPED UP SCORPION’S FEET FROM THE OUTSIDE!!! Scorpion stumbled a bit toward a prone Cartman, stopping in his tracks. The Icon of UWE stepped toward the South Park Extremist and shouted a series of threats at him until Sub-Zero charged toward him and started a brawl on the outside!!!_

_“Both high-flyers on each team are going at it right in front of us, Frylock!” Shake said. “But Scorpion did not like what Kenny pulled just now!”_

_“The veteran and current tag champion loathes it when their opponents resort to those tactics—“ Frylock said, while Scorpion turned around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND WAS KICKED IN THE MIDSECTION BY CARTMAN!!! SOUTH PARK STUNNER CONNECTS!!!_

_“—ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY LEAD INTO THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER!!!” Frylock yelled, as Cartman pulled Scorpion into the center of the ring for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

  1. _. ._



_. . ._

_. . .3!!!!_

_“AND THE SOUTH PARK FOUR HAVE STOLEN THE VICTORY FROM THE KNIGHTHOOD!!!” Frylock declared, as the crowd exploded into cheers while the bell rang!!!_

**_“The winners of this match. . .the team of ROLF. . .KENNY MCCORMICK. . .and ERIC CARTMAN!!!”_ **

_“The Bad Boys of Comedy Central are living up to that moniker, and had to in order to win that grueling match!” Frylock declared. “The bad blood between all six men in this match was reaching a high boil tonight, and in the end, Kenny McCormick was in the right place at the right time to distract Scorpion and earn the victory for himself and the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf! Needless to say, their tops are gonna blow off once the bell rings for their respective matches this Sunday at Shockwave!”_

_The referee raised Cartman’s arm in victory. . ._

_. . .UNTIL SCORPION TOOK CARTMAN DOWN WITH THE FATALITY!!!_

_“OH, W-WAIT A MINUTE, FRYLOCK!!!” Shake yelled. “The match may be over, but Scorpion’s not finished with the South Park Four!!!”_

_“WHAT THE HELL????” Frylock yelled. “WHAT THE HELL IS SCORPION DOING??? YOU LOST THE DAMN MATCH!!”_

_“Scorpion said it himself last week that they expect their opponents to fight with honor. . . I have a BAD feeling they’re about to feel Stan and Kyle’s pain right about now. . .” Shake foreboded, as Scorpion turned around in the direction of Sub-Zero, who took down Kenny with Standing Sea Fire!!! Seething under his mask, the Icon of UWE then stepped toward Sub-Zero, exiting the ring above the second rope._

_“If not Cartman, then most DEFINITELY the South Park Extremist. . .” added Frylock, as Scorpion stepped onto the ringside floor. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and RIPPED off the protective padding on the floor, exposing the concrete under it!!!_

_“OH MY GOD!!!” Frylock shouted, as Scorpion Scorpion lifted Kenny up for a Gutwrench Suplex. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .while Sub-Zero caught his legs behind him. . ._

_“NO WAY!!! NOT THIS!! NOT THIS!!! NOT THIS—“_

_. . ._

_. . ._  
  


_. . .AND DROPPED KENNY ONTO THE EXPOSED CONCRETE WITH THE EXECUTION!!!_

_  
“OH MY GOD!!! THE ASSASSINS KILLED KENNY!!!” Frylock screamed._

_“YOU BASTARDS!!!” Shake yelled, as the crowd erupted into boos for Scorpion and Sub-Zero, who received their title belts from Solid Snake as he came to their side. The three Assassins stepped down the ringside floor and up the ramp as Rolf stared down Snake from the outside with his eyes narrowed, and an angry Eric Cartman gave them a death glare from the mat._

_“Tonight the South Park Four declared that they were going to do what they had to in order to win back their tag team titles this Sunday. . .but the Knighthood of Assassins just sent a message of their own, and showed the Enforcer first-hand what would happen to them if they did! We all know Kenny will be back by Sunday, but after the brutality and animosity these two teams fought with just now, what’s gonna happen at Shockwave when the XCW Tag Team Championship is on the line???” Shake wondered._

 

“And will Rolf finally bring legitimacy to himself and the XCW Hardcore Championship when he squares off against Solid Snake???” Frylock added, as Rolf and Cartman continued to stare down Scorpion, Sub-Zero and Solid Snake until the show faded back to the backstage area, where Frylock sat on a barstool in front of a high-definition television.

 

“Questions were indeed raised after that chaotic six-man tag team match, as the rivalry between the South Park Four and the Knighthood of Assassins rose to a personal level this past month!” Frylock said. “But will the South Park Four achieve their vengeance and regain the XCW Tag Team titles at Shockwave, or will the Knighthood of Assassins refuse to let go of their stranglehold on the tag team division?”

 

“They better take the titles off those sellouts. . .just because you’re the Icon of UWE and Lin-Kuei Grandmaster and fight with a secret code doesn’t mean you can expect others to play nice with ya! Especially the Bad Boys of Comedy Central. . .” Shake said, before sighing. “. . .are we done talking about the Knighthood yet? They’re giving me a tumor in my straw just thinking about ‘em. . .”

 

“Unfortunately not, Shake. . .because when we come back, we’re going to talk about what happened in the World Heavyweight title picture in the month of August, and Hotsuma is ALL OVER that. . .but we will run down all the events in the Women’s title picture over the last month as well! All that and more will come. . .right after this!”

 

Frylock smiled into the camera until the show transitioned to a commercial break.

 

**And that concludes part THREE of the XCW Monthcap of August! One more part remains. . .and then it’s onto SHOCKWAVE, BABY!!!! As always, let me know if something doesn’t make sense, or if anyone was out of character. The next chapter will come soon, until then, please READ, REACT AND REVIEW!!!**


	52. XCW August Monthcap: Part 4

**And now. . .the EXCITING CONCLUSION. . .of the August monthcap. . .for Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling! I only own my championships.**

* * *

As XCW Rewind returned from break, Frylock and Master Shake sat on barstools next to each other in front of a giant HD television inside a locker room.

"Welcome back to XCW Rewind, ladies and gentlemen!" Frylock said. "Before the commercial break, we let you know about everything that happened in the conflict between Double D and Joffrey Baratheon, as well as the conflict between the South Park Four and the Knighthood of Assassins on their way to a tag team championship rematch this Sunday at Shockwave! And right now, we're gonna jump right into covering all things female in the XCW Women's Championship picture! When we last saw the XCW Women's Champion, Sora Takenouchi, she and Yuna had just shaken hands after a hard-fought battle that the Crestbearer of Love won. . .only for Casey Lynch to slide into the ring and nail both women in the head with her electric guitar. And on the Silver Lining fallout edition of Monday Night Massacre, the self-proclaimed, Goddess of Rock explained her actions. . ."

* * *

_The show transitioned to the arena, where Casey Lynch stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand as the fans were vocal with a chorus of boos._

" _What's the matter. . .you didn't like my performance. . .?" Casey asked, referring to her entrance. ". . .you people have no taste in music. . .or taste in wrestlers."_

_Casey paused to more boos from the crowd before putting the microphone back up to her mouth._

" _That became evident over the last month during that STUPID number one contender's tournament. . .AND last night at Silver Lining. . .when your cheers went to a lucky misfit summoner in way over her head. . ."_

_The crowd booed at this while Casey paused for dramatic effect, until she put the microphone up to her mouth again and said,_

" _. . .AND the World Heavyweight Champion's wife. . ."_

_. . .to even MORE boos from the fans. Casey smirked with confidence before speaking into the microphone again._

" _. . .instead of showing support for someone with multiple talents. I've sang and played guitar for multiple bands. . .you name the greats like Tom Morello, Slash, Ted Nugent, Zakk Wylde and Joe Perry. . .I've outshredded them ALL in guitar battles you had to see to believe. . .and I've performed in the world's most iconic venues. Through all of that, I've become a star synonymous with the word 'epic'. . .and last month, I transferred my talents on the guitar into my talents in the ring. . .and made it all the way to the finals of that number one contenders tournament. I'm a star waiting to happen in this company. . .and all of you people are gonna see it for yourselves one way or another. . .because I'm calling it RIGHT NOW. . .if there's anybody next in line for the XCW Women's Championship. . .it's ME._

_And I'm gonna tell you why. . .because Yuna had her chance at Silver Lining. . .and she failed. . .just like everything else she's done here, hell, just like everything else she's done in this BUSINESS. Do you guys know what she accomplished in Full Throttle Wrestling before it folded. . .? Yeah. . .me neither. But you know what I DO remember. . .? I remember her not even coming CLOSE to the final four in the battle royale that crowned the first-ever Women's Champion. I remember her cleavage breaking Tidus's fall at the XCW Summer Supershow. But my favorite memory of Yuna. . .is when she fought for the Women's title at XCW Doomsday. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and tapped out to the ABDOMINAL STRETCH. She's always been weak in the body, and weak-minded. . .and if there was anything that proved her win against me before Silver Lining was a fluke. . .it's that after all that work to earn the ultimate opportunity. . .she didn't leave King's Landing as the new Women's Champion._

_But I have to admit. . .I'm actually disappointed that she couldn't win it. . .because if there's anybody that doesn't deserve to wear that title around her waist. . .it's Sora Takenouchi. The woman has been getting the opportunities she's had in XCW based on her reputation in other companies. . .the name of her franchise. . .and for winning Diva of the Year a LONG while back. I have nothing against Space Ghost, but when is he going to learn that her main event win over Misty on Monday Night Raw was THIRTEEN YEARS AGO? When are YOU people going to learn that the only place Digimon belongs today is eighth place on a list of obscure 90s trends on Buzzfeed? And when will Sora learn that she can't fight one match a month. . .and call herself a fighting champion?_

_I've got the answer. . .and it's at SHOCKWAVE. . .because I'm declaring MYSELF the number one contender. . .and through my talent, tenacity and technical ability as the Goddess of Rock, I will expose you for the has-been that you are. . .and become the NEW Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion! And my victory won't just be good. . .it won't just be GREAT. . .it won't even be GLORIOUS. . .but it'll be—"_

_-but before Casey could say the word, 'RIGHTEOUS', she was cut off. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .THANKS TO 'Heavy In Your Arms' BY FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE TO A MASSIVE POP FROM THE CROWD!_

" _And here comes a woman that has MORE than enough to say about all that!" Frylock declared, as Sora Takenouchi stepped onto the stage and down the ramp with a scowl on her face. "She looks like she's had enough!"_

" _I haven't, Frylock!" Shake insisted. "Casey spoke the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! There's no question the Crestbearer of Love has had a long and successful career, but how much more gas does she have in the tank? She only fought in one match in the last month, and that was last night. Either way, I can't wait to hear how she responds. . ."_

" _Wow. . .you look mad." Casey observed. "I'm sorry. . .next time I come out, I'll be sure to work around your time of the month." Casey said, to an "OHHHHHHHH!" from the crowd._

" _. . .KEEP IT UP, AND I'LL MAKE YOURS COME EARLY." Sora fired back, to a bigger "OHHHHHHHH!" from the crowd._

" _You've talked A LOT of shit tonight. . .and I don't like it one. DAMN. BIT, because NONE of it is true. I'm out here to make a few things CLEAR to you. . .I didn't get where I am in this company through my legacy in WWE's Animated division OR the legacy of my franchise. I got here through the same amount of hard work as you did. Before I joined this company, I hadn't wrestled a match since 2006. It took a lot of physical, mental and emotional hurdles to go through just to gain the desire to get back into this ring, and I wasn't going to return unless I was in the same shape, and had the same skills I possessed during the Attitude Era. Sure enough, the hard work paid off. . .it's gotten me EVERYTHING I ever wanted in life. . .and that's something you don't know anything about, ROOKIE. This isn't the music biz, where you get famous through connections. . .this is the business of fiction wrestling. . .where it's about being the most athletic, being with the times, and being as fast as your competition. Despite how long I've been in this business, I know that I am all of those things. . .because even in coming back from one of the bloodiest matches of my life. . .I still left Silver Lining as the XCW Women's Champion. I don't know what YOU are as a wrestler. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BUT I'D LOVE TO SEE YOU KEEP UP WITH ME."_

_The crowd ERUPTED into cheers as Sora stared daggers into the brown eyes of Casey, who looked on at the Crestbearer of Love with narrowed eyes, engaged in a staredown!. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ."Simple And Clean" by Utada Hikaru played!_

" _NOW WHAT?" Shake exclaimed, as the crowd exploded into more cheers. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AS YUNA STEPPED ONTO THE STAGE AND WALKED DOWN THE RAMP WITH A MICROPHONE IN HAND!_

_"Now here comes YUNA!" Frylock called. "After beating three other women in a tournament last month to crown a number one contender for the XCW Women's Championship, this young woman stood toe-to-toe with Sora Takenouchi and fought a long, hard-fought match last night at Silver Lining in a losing effort. . .but it was an effort that impressed the XCW Women's Champion, and in the end, the two women shook hands in an act of good sportsmanship until Casey ambushed both of them. I'm curious about what the Cosmos Summoner has to say. . ."_

" _I wanna know what the hell she's doing out here too, Frylock!" Shake said. "Because you said it yourself, she LOST last night. She's a loser and she always WILL be! Hell, Casey spoke the truth about HER tonight, too! She was forgettable in FTW, and has been an absolute JOKE of a wrestler here in XCW. . .I hope Casey and Sora have the common sense to kick this girl out of the ring after she says whatever's on her mind. . ."_

_Yuna entered the ring above the second rope and stepped right up to Sora and Casey with a microphone in hand._

" _Oh no, you don't. . .you two aren't fighting until I've had my say. . ." Yuna said, to cheers from the crowd. ". . .starting with YOU, Casey. . .you don't deserve a shot just yet. . .because let me remind you of something. . .after the events on Spira. . .I dabbled in the music business and let me tell you. . .becoming a famous musician is so easy, OF COURSE your band can do it!"_

_The crowd erupted in another explosion of "OHHHHHHHHHH!" as Casey clenched her fists, to a smirk from Yuna._

" _You wanna call yourself a star waiting to happen? Well, if you're a star waiting to happen. . .you wouldn't have watched Sora and I fight from the locker room at Silver Lining. But your attack last night was as unwarranted as your words about me right now. . .because I've come a LONG way since those days. I've become a better wrestler, I've become a talent on the rise. . .I've even become a Fiction Wrestling Award winner! It's for those reasons that I deserve another shot at your Women's Championship, Sora. We put on an amazing match last night. . .but this time, I want to live up to my title of Shining Star of the Year. . .by winning YOURS. . ."_

_Sora looked on at Yuna with an intrigued but stern look on her face._

" _. . .but I want to do it FAIR and SQUARE. . .because success in life is EARNED. . ." continued Yuna, who turned to look at Casey, ". . .so, Casey. . .if you really think you are next in line for the Women's title. . .you'll prove it in a number one contender's match against me right here TONIGHT!"_

_The crowd erupted into cheers of excitement while Casey looked at the Cosmos Summoner with her arms crossed._

" _. . .so, CASE. . .how does that sound. . .?" Yuna asked, upon which, the Goddess of Rock put her microphone up to her mouth._

" _Well, look at the little Girl Scout who thinks she's a wrestler. . ." Casey quipped. ". . .I don't care about how far you've come in the last month, because you FLUKED your way to recognition. . .just like how you were AUTOTUNED into a one-hit wonder. I'd LOVE to expose you for what you are. . .just a weak dreamer that got lucky. . .but you already have after your first two months in this company. I've got nothing to prove for myself against you. I don't need to be I'm famous. . .because I'm already INFAMOUS. I'm ready to prove I'm GREAT. . .and a match against someone like you isn't worth my time. What IS worth my time is fighting for Sora's title. . .because you've HAD your turn. Because mine is next. . .and it's going to be RIGHTEOUS."_

_Yuna scoffed. "You know something, Case. . .I think I know why you don't want to face me. . .because you know what's more humiliating than tapping to the abdominal stretch? LOSING TO SOMEONE THAT DID."_

_The crowd shouted, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" at that response, upon which, Casey stormed toward Yuna and shouted, "I'd LOOOOVE to hit you with my guitar again TO MAKE YOU SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE."_

" _THEN SHUT YOURS AND ACCEPT MY CHALLENGE!" Yuna fired back, upon which the two contenders-turned-rivals continued to argue amongst each other until everything was interrupted by-_

" _-TRIPLE THREAT."_

_Casey and Yuna stopped in their tracks and turned to face Sora while the crowd popped with massive cheers!_

" _At Shockwave. . .I want to defend my XCW Women's Championship. . .against BOTH OF YOU. . .in a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH." Sora said, to more cheers of excitement from the fans. "Talking won't prove anything. . .but FIGHTING will. . .and we'll prove ourselves in real time on the big stage. I'll show both of you and all of these people that I am STILL a full-timer, and the best wrestler in this business. Be ready to protect your award, Yuna. . .and Casey. . ."_

_Yuna nodded in compliance while Casey turned to face Sora, her eyes narrowed as she practically demanded to hear her next words. . ._

" _. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .I just want you to SHUT UP."_

_. . .AND THAT'S WHEN CASEY LEAPT ON TOP OF SORA AND STARTED HAMMERING AWAY AT HER HEAD WITH THUNDEROUS RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS!_

" _OH MY GOD!" Shake exclaimed, as Sora was quick to put Casey in a headlock and spin her on her chest! With the headlock still applied, Sora repeatedly drove Casey head-first into the mat before pulling her up to a standing position. Sora then Irish whipped Casey into Yuna. . ._

_. . .WHO WAS TAKEN DOWN HEAD-FIRST BY A HEADBANGER FROM CASEY!_

" _OOOOOOOOOOH!" cringed Frylock. "The Goddess of Rock just struck Yuna with a THUNDEROUS Headbanger! How does she lead with her head like that and not feel pain?"_

" _You said it yourself, Frylock. . .because she's the Goddess of Rock!" Shake said, as Sora charged after Casey. . .who slid out of the ring under the bottom rope to boos from the crowd._

" _And before Sora can lay another strike, Casey Lynch sneaks out of harm's way!" Frylock called. "Way to cause trouble and leave, Casey! That won't do you any favors!"_

_Sora knelt down to check on Yuna, who was sitting up and clenching the right side of her forehead in pain, but nodded once Sora asked if she was okay._

" _It just DID, Frylock!" Shake insisted. "She got a shot at the XCW Women's Championship AND got a lick in on Yuna! NOBODY'S gonna be ready for the Goddess of Rock at Shockwave, not even Sora!"_

* * *

"I disagree with that entirely, Shake. . .because I have a feeling that the games of one-upsmanship between these three women are about to begin. . ." Frylock declared, as Sora and Yuna stared daggers at Casey Lynch, who was still making smug quips in their direction on her way up the ramp until the show transitioned to the ring, where Yuna Irish whipped Margaret across the ring.

"And the games of one-upsmanship began indeed, starting with Yuna competing in a one-on-one match against Margaret on the Monday Night Massacre episode following the three women's epic encounter." Frylock informed. "The Cosmos Summoner wrestled a hard-fought match against a long-time developmental rival, but the grudge between herself and Casey would not be ignored following the match. . .in the most unorthodox of ways. . ."

_Margaret bounced back toward Yuna. . ._

_. . .who took her down with a jumping tornado DDT! Margaret struggled to push herself up to her knees while Yuna ran against the ropes. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED MARGARET IN THE TEMPLE WITH A SHINING WIZARD!_

" _SHINING WIZARD TO MARGARET! THAT MAY BE ALL SHE WROTE!" Frylock declared, as Yuna went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999 MARGARET KICKED OUT! Yuna couldn't believe it!_

" _NO! Margaret has signs of life!" Frylock said. "How will Yuna follow up?"_

" _She'll follow it up with a failure, Frylock!" Shake scoffed. "There's a mistake waiting to happen on the end of the Cosmos Summoner!"_

_Yuna stood up from the cover and strode toward the corner, taunting for Margaret to get up by doing her Final Fantasy X-2 victory pose!_

" _But the Cosmos Summoner is looking to put her long-time developmental rival away in this one-on-one matchup!" Frylock declared. "Yuna's gonna go for it all!"_

_Margaret slowly but surely staggered up to her feet before Yuna put her into a headlock. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ran toward the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND THEN UP IT BEFORE DRIVING MARGARET HEAD FIRST ONTO THE MAT WITH THE GRAND SUMMON!_

" _THE GRAND SUMMON CONNECTS!" Frylock called, as Yuna rolled Margaret onto her back before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _And Yuna picks up the win!" Frylock said, as the crowd erupted with cheers while the bell rang!_

" _ **The winner of this match. . .'The Cosmos Summoner'. . .YUNA!"**_

" _The Shining Star of the Year certainly lived up to her award in this matchup, and looks to remain in top form, as she has since her return to the company last month!" Frylock declared. "It continues to be remarkable to see her grow as a wrestler, and I have the utmost confidence that when Shockwave rolls around, she'll be primed and ready not only to stand toe-to-toe against Sora Takenouchi and Casey Lynch, but also to last bell-to-bell! This young woman is as good as they come!"_

_Yuna rose to her feet and the referee raised her arm in victory as the crowd cheered for the Cosmos Summoner!_

_"You say that now, Frylock, but if you ask me, this girl is in for a reality check!" Shake dismissed. "Because this isn't the first time she and Margaret have fought against each other. Of course she was going to win! She knows Margaret like the back of her hand after months of developmental. She knows even less about Sora and Casey after just one match with them! Yuna just keeps getting lucky and stumbling into victories here. . .it's only a matter of time before she gives up."_

_Frylock scoffed. ". . .let's agree to disagree, Shake. . .because I, for one, am proud to be calling Yuna's matches. . .and the chances for her to win the XCW Women's Championship at Shockwave are just as good as—"_

_With her hands in the shape of guns, Yuna had climbed onto the turnbuckle on the opposite side of the Titantron, and was doing her Final Fantasy X-2 victory pose toward the fans. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .applause was heard from the Titantron. . .?_

" _Wait a minute. . .what the hell is that. . .?" Frylock wondered, as Yuna was still posing toward the fans. . .but turned around and stepped off the turnbuckle after she heard the words, "THANK YOU! Thank you. . ."_

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .from Casey Lynch!_

" _It's the Goddess of Rock herself, Frylock!" Shake said, as Casey Lynch was on the stage of a concert venue packed with various fans, and standing in front of a microphone stand._

" _I know it's Casey Lynch, Shake. . .but what does SHE want right now. . .?" asked Frylock, as Yuna stepped toward the Titantron, looking up at it with interest as well as confusion._

" _Y'know, Monday Night Massacre is here tonight. . .how many of y'all are wrestling fans?" Casey asked the audience, to massive cheers._

" _Now THAT'S what I like to hear!" Casey said with a grin. "Well, you probably know that in a few weeks, I'm in a triple threat match for the XCW Women's Championship. . ."_

_Casey strummed her guitar before looking right into the camera, as well as Yuna from the Titantron, and saying. . ._

" _. . .and I've got a version of one of my favorites. . .FOR SOMEBODY IN THAT MATCH."_

" _Awesome!" Shake exclaimed. "The Goddess of Rock is gonna put on a show for us, Frylock!"_

_Yuna narrowed her eyes upon hearing Casey's words, leaning against the ropes while looking up at the Titantron as Casey's band began playing the opening notes of a familiar classic rock song!_

"' _Well, this song IS one of the classics. . ." Frylock said with a raised eyebrow, until Casey began to sing her version of the song. . .that went a little something like this. . ._

_What'll I do for weeks till Shockwave_

_With the Women's title in my sight?_

_Rather hear Tidus laugh than this girl sing_

_Got this message for her tonight. . ._

_YUUUUUUUUNA!_

_I'm not shooting the breeze!_

_YUNA!_

_I'll break both of your knees_

_YUNA!_

_Beating you will give me peace of mind_

_. . .and in the arena, the fans were shouting a mix of boos and shouting, "OHHHHHHH!" at Casey's lyrics. . .with Yuna holding onto the ropes, looking up at the Titantron shaking with rage!_

_Wanted to give you a fair warning_

_When you felt my guitar against your head_

_Like a fool, you had to run your mouth_

_You're as good as motherf**king dead._

_YUUUUUUUNA!_

_I'm not shooting the breeze_

_YUNA!_

_I'll break both of your knees_

_YUNA!_

_Beating you will give me peace of mind_

" _This is absolutely TASTELESS." Frylock seethed. "The Goddess of Rock has NO shame, but NO regard for anybody's feelings! And Yuna's just beside herself right now!"_

_Why do you even bother fighting?_

_We all know your talents are so sketch_

_Please don't step into the ring if. . ._

_You don't wanna feel an abdominal stretch._

_The crowd erupted into a bigger chant of, "OHHHHHHHHHHH!" while Yuna's face fell into a scowl._

_YUUUUUUUNA!_

_I'm not shooting the breeze_

_YUNA!_

_I'll break both of your knees_

_YUNA!_

_Shockwave's gonna give me peace of mind_

_As Casey began playing the epic guitar solo that ends the first half of the song, Yuna's scowl never left her face, even as her face turned beet red with rage!_

_"I don't know what you're talking about, Frylock! This is AWESOME!" Shake said. "And it's catchy. . .I hope Casey's got an mp3 file of this! Hell, it could be her new theme music! Especially after Shockwave when she becomes the new Women's Champion!"_

" _Casey doesn't have room to talk about running her mouth. . .but meanwhile, the Cosmos Summoner does NOT like this embarrassment one bit." Frylock declared. "Casey's asking for a fight, and she'll get one at Shockwave!"_

* * *

Yuna continued to stare up at the Titantron with a red-faced scowl until the show transitioned to the ring, where Daisy had Sora in a full nelson lock. . .until the Crestbearer of Love fought out of it and took Daisy down with a Russian Leg Sweep!

"Yuna wouldn't be the ONLY one to suffer public embarrassment at the hands. . .er, voice of Casey Lynch, however, because after Sora Takenouchi's first match on Monday Night Massacre in two months, she would have a little tune specially prepared for the XCW Women's Champion!" Frylock informed. "And in that tune, Casey made allegations that were absolutely uncalled for. . ."

* * *

_Sora then pulled Daisy up by the arm and Irish whipped her hard across the ring before charging toward her on the bounceback. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TAKING HER DOWN WITH THE HEARTSTOPPER!_

_"THE HEARTSTOPPER CONNECTS!" Frylock called. "Is it enough for Sora to pick up the win?"_

_Sora went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999 DAISY KICKED OUT! Sora couldn't believe it!_

" _NOOOO! Daisy just got the shoulder up!" Frylock shouted, as Sora pushed herself up to her feet and pulled Daisy up to a standing position with her. Sora then Irish whipped Daisy into a corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .only for Daisy to counter it with an Irish whip of her own! The Crestbearer of Love hit the corner face first and turned around to face Daisy. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO KNOCKED HER BACK INTO THE CORNER WITH A CORNER SPLASH! The Ruler of Sarasaland then put Sora in a headlock before nailing her with knees to the midsection. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and setting her on the top rope!_

" _Uh-oh. . .Daisy's looking to go high-risk!" Frylock declared. "Will it pay off with a victory?"_

" _This would be HUGE for Princess Daisy!" Shake added, as Daisy draped Sora's arm across her back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before lifting her up—_

_-at least, she WOULD have, if Sora didn't nail her in the side with a right hand!_

" _WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock yelled. "The Women's Champion is fighting back!"_

" _That's a LOOOOONG fall off that top rope. . ." Shake observed, ". . .who's gonna be the first to eat the mat?"_

_Sora kept hitting Daisy in the side with swift right hands. . ._

_. . .before breaking Daisy's grip on her! With the Princess of Sarasaland reeling, the Crestbearer of Love lifted Daisy off her feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HER OFF THE TOP ROPE WITH A RELEASE FORWARD SUPLEX!_

" _OOOOOOOOOOOOH!" cringed Frylock, as Daisy bounced off the mat from the impact and landed on her back, selling her ribs! "That had to hurt! But what power and technical ability from the Women's Champion!"_

" _Sora's up there all alone, Frylock!" Shake said. "And now we ALL know what's coming. . ."_

_Sora looked down to see Daisy on the mat as all the fans rose to their feet, cheering the Crestbearer of Love on as she raised her arms up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .sized Daisy up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDED THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS ACROSS THE CHEST OF DAISY!_

" _THE MOST EXCITING AERIAL TECHNIQUE IN WRESTLING IS BACK ON MASSACRE. . ." Frylock exclaimed, as Sora clenched her ribs from the impact while she crawled on top of Daisy for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _. . .and it gives Sora a victory in her return match to Monday nights!" finished Frylock, as the crowd erupted with cheers while the bell rang!_

**" _The winner of this match. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"_**

_Sora stood up to meet the referee, who raised her hand in victory to cheers from the crowd, who also chanted, "YOU STILL GOT IT! YOU STILL GOT IT!"_

" _The crowd is on their feet for the XCW Women's Champion, and they couldn't be more right!" Frylock declared. "The Crestbearer of Love, Sora Takenouchi, has returned to Monday Night Massacre, and she looks as good in her match tonight as she did during her successful title defense at Silver Lining. And if she keeps this up, Sora's going to continue to amaze us with her talents in her triple threat match in just a couple weeks at Shockwave!"_

_Sora climbed onto the top rope opposite from the Titantron and raised the Women's title belt above her head toward the fans in celebration!_

" _You got that right!" agreed Shake. "Sora made fighting Daisy look easy! She doesn't have ring rust of any kind and doesn't hold anything back, just as she did before her gruesome fight at Heatwave. Sora's still one of the best that's ever been, and she'll put on a wrestling clinic against Yuna and Casey Lynch at Shockwave, no matter what happens between right now and then!"_

_Sora stepped off the top rope and was on her way toward the opposing corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .a certain famous opening guitar riff from played from the Titantron. . .?_

_"Now wait a damn minute. . ." Frylock said, as Sora stopped in her tracks to look up at the Titantron. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and see CASEY LYNCH standing on the raised stage of another music venue in front of a microphone stand, a full rock band, and SEVERAL fans surrounding the stage!_

" _HELLO, SUNNYDALE!" Casey shouted to the audience at the venue. . .and the audience at the wrestling arena. "I've got one hell of a show for YOU. . .and one hell of something to prove to a certain Crestbearer of Love at Shockwave. . .BUT FIRST. . .I have to play a personal version of another one of my all-time favorite songs. . .and it goes a little bit LIKE THIS. . ."_

_Sora looked up at the Titantron, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow in intrigue, as Casey finished playing the opening build and started to sing. . ._

_She's got a title that seems to me_

_Has been 'round her waist for the price of free_

' _Cuz everything_

_She's won has been for her last name_

_Every time that I see her face_

_I want to kick her in her private place_

_She's due for a loss_

_And I'll enjoy making her cry!_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Sweet Wife of Tai's_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Sweet Wife of Tai's_

_As Casey played the first bridge of the song, Sora looked on at the Titantron with her brow furrowed in anger, her face turning bright red, and an absolutely FURIOUS scowl._

_"Good Lord. . .first Yuna, now SORA. . .the Goddess of Rock is really letting loose on her opponents at Shockwave!" Frylock declared._

" _And Sora is MAD. AS. HELL." added Shake._

_She's got a ring as red as Matt's eyes_

_When she left him like some two-bit whore_

_I wonder just how hard he tries_

_To retain the Sorato corps._

_Shockwave is gonna be Sora's living hell_

_The second she walks down the ramp_

_Can't fight one match every month_

_And call_

_Yourself the Women's Champ._

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Sweet Wife of Tai's_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Sweet Wife of Tai's_

_While the fans in Casey's venue cheered for the Goddess of Rock, half of the crowd in the wrestling arena erupted into chants of, "OHHHHHHHHHHH!" when Casey sang the 'two-bit whore' lyric while the other half just flat-out BOOED Casey as she played the long guitar solo that closed the song. . .while Sora was FUMING to herself inside the ring._

" _Wow, Frylock. . .if I were Sora, I would be so EMBARRASSED. . ." Shake declared._

" _I wouldn't just be embarrassed, Shake. . .I'd be ANGRY. . .and that's exactly how Sora feels right now! Ever since the triple threat match was made, Casey Lynch has done nothing but sing and talk a lot of trash about her opponents without being careful about it. . .for my money, she has pissed off the wrong woman. . .and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. . ."_

* * *

Sora scowled at the Titantron with eyes incensed with rage while Casey was just grinning and singing "Your time is MINE now," for the remainder of the song while finishing the epic guitar solo until the show transitioned to the ring, where Lee Kanker stood a corner of the ring while Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.

"Sora and Yuna would cross paths with the outspoken Goddess of Rock on the last Monday Night Massacre before Shockwave, but Casey would team with the Taiwanese Assassin, Shenhua, who would build herself a very impressive winning streak over the course of the month!" Frylock informed. "And it all started the night after Silver Lining where Shenhua would square off against Lee Kanker in a one-on-one match, a match where she would introduce the XCW faithful to a new agent of hers. . .an agent with a similar taste for the old. . . _ultraviolence_. . ."

* * *

_Lee Kanker stepped out of the corner and into the center of the ring, raising her fists in anticipation, until "Living Dead Girl" by Rob Zombie played to mostly boos from the crowd as Shenhua stepped onto the stage with a microphone in hand._

_"And her opponent. . .from Roanapur, Thailand—" Carl started to announce, until—_

" _NO! NO! YOU SHUT UP! YOU STOP ANNOUNCING RIGHT NOW!" Shenhua shouted, to boos from the crowd. "I have something to say. . ."_

_Carl and Lee looked incredulous at Shenhua as her music faded out, and the Taiwanese Assassin put her microphone up to her mouth._

" _. . .this match will be your ending and my beginning!" Shenhua declared, to chuckles from Lee. "You laugh at how I speak, but you won't be once that bell rings and you lay broken and bloody on the mat. . .because I mean my words. I am deadliest woman on the XCW roster. And I will prove it to you right here, right now. . .and if you still don't believe me. . .hear it. . .from my NEW agent. . ."_

_Lee cocked her head to the side in confusion, as Shake said, "New agent. . .? What the hell?"_

" _All of you clap RIGHT now. . .for my new agent AND manager. . .he is The Chelloveck In Charge. . .and 'The Droogie For Life'. . .ALEXANDER DE LARGE!"_

_Then the second movement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony played to a mixed reaction, as Alexander De Large stepped onto the stage and came to Shenhua's side with a microphone in hand!_

" _Oh, I know who this man is, Shake!" Frylock said. "Alexander DeLarge came into the business of fiction wrestling after Wrestlemania and debuting on WCW: Showdown as the agent and manager of Meg Griffin. She was a doormat of a wrestler before he offered her his managerial services, and now NOBODY on the Showdown roster wants to cross her! It's easy to assume that the same could be said for the Taiwanese Assassin, Shenhua!"_

" _Hi hi hi there, fans of XCW!" Alex said into the microphone, to a mixed reaction. "Well now. . .isn't that a conflicting welcome. . .? No matter. . .because I am a young chelloveck (fellow) whose principal interests are maltreatment. . .ultra-violence. . .and Beethoven. . .in addition to expanding my clientele. During the FWM Draft, I met Shenhua after we were both selected to this company. I offered my managerial services to her, and she happily accepted! Whatever Shenhua desires. . .I will make it come to fruition as her agent and manager. . .because while I saw untapped potential in Megan Griffin. . .I see a lot of myself in Shenhua. We're both schemers. . .we're both methodical in how we conduct our respective businesses. . .but the one thing that will make her stand out as the deadliest devotchka (woman) in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .is that we share the same tastes for a bit of the old ultraviolence. . .and tonight, my clockwork client Shenhua is going to show you just HOW ultraviolent and destructive she can BE!"_

_Alexander DeLarge dropped the microphone onto the stage before stepping down the ramp next to Shenhua._

" _Well, Frylock, I don't know what to make of this DeLarge guy yet. . ." Shake said. "I know all about his reputation as a criminal across the pond, but he may be too weird for his own good. I mean, can you HEAR his music? It ain't rock, it's BEETHOVEN! And what the hell is a chelloveck. . .?"_

" _I have no unearthly idea, Shake." Frylock replied, as Shenhua slid into the ring under the bottom rope and stood in Lee's opposite corner. ". . .but I know one thing's for sure. . .Shenhua and Alex look confident right here and right now, and Shenhua appears to be more than ready for some in-ring competition!"_

_Shenhua raised her fists up and engaged in a staredown with Lee Kanker as the bell rang and the match began until the show transitioned to later in the match, where Shenhua leapt off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK DOWN LEE WITH A DRAGONRANA!_

" _The match was an absolute knock-down, drag 'em out fight, and Shenhua was absolutely DOMINANT from beginning to end!" Frylock informed, as Shenhua quickly went for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.999999999999 LEE KICKED OUT! Shenhua couldn't believe it!_

" _How the HELL did Lee kick out?" Shake wondered, as Shenhua shot up from the cover, punching the mat in anger!_

" _However she did it, Shenhua didn't like it one damn bit!" Frylock declared, as Shenhua pulled Lee up by the air and Irish whipped her into the corner before charging toward her again. . ._

_. . .and hammered away at her chest and sternum with vicious shoulder thrusts! After ten furious strikes, Shenhua backed out of the corner to let Lee stumble out of it. . .only to grab her by her sides. . ._

_. . .turn her around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LAUNCH HER BACK-FIRST INTO THE CORNER WITH A WRIST-CLUTCH EXPLODER SUPLEX! Upon impact, Lee fell upside-down onto the mat in a crumbled heap!_

" _BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Frylock shouted. "LEE'S FOLDED UP LIKE AN ACCORDION! And Shenhua is just inflicting non-stop PAIN onto the leader of the Kanker Sisters!"_

" _I'll say!" Shake agreed. "Lee will have MORE than just a kanker sore by the end of this match!"_

_Shenhua then pulled Lee up by the hair and whacked her in the chest with a series of karate chops until Lee went for a desperation clothesline. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Shenhua ducked under it. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED LEE RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A GAMENGIRI!_

" _THE GAMENGIRI KICK CONNECTS!" Frylock screamed, as Shenhua backed up to the opposite side of the ring, gripping onto the ropes as she leaned forward, glaring at Lee with eyes incensed with anticipation!_

" _The Taiwanese Assassin is looking to live up to her name here tonight, and live up to her end of the partnership between herself and Alex DeLarge!" Frylock declared. "And from that look in her eyes, I can tell she's about to put the final nail in the coffin of Lee Kanker!"_

" _I don't know what Alexander taught her, but Shenhua's unhinged tonight!" Shake agreed, as Lee staggered up to her knees, and tried to gather her bearings while crawling toward the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .while Shenhua charged toward her. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND PLANTED HER FACE-FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH THE KUKIRI SLICE (Scorpio Rising)!_

" _That wasn't a nail, Frylock. . .that was a DAGGER into Lee's heart!" Shake declared. "GOOD NIGHT, LEE!"_

_Shenhua rolled Lee onto her back before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _And Shenhua picks up an empathic victory!" Frylock said, as the Taiwanese Assassin rose up from the cover with a smirk on her face as the bell rang!_

**_"The winner of this match. . .'The Taiwanese Assassin'. . .SHENHUA!"_ **

" _The Taiwanese Assassin came out here tonight and fought like an entirely different competitor, Shake!" Frylock declared. "She wrestled with more drive and intensity than she did in her debut last month, and I have the firm belief that Shenhua wants to ensure that her loss to Wasp in the number one contender's tournament will be her ONLY loss for the weeks and months to come!"_

_The referee raised Shenhua's arm in victory in the center of the ring until Alexander DeLarge entered the ring above the second rope. . ._

_. . .and raised Shenhua's OTHER arm in victory, pointing at her with his free hand with a devilish smirk on his face!_

" _You got that right, Frylock!" agreed Shake. "But you have to give a lot of the credit to that. . .veck, I wanna say. . .right there: Alexander DeLarge! I don't know what he said or what his training methods were to pump her up, but whatever they were, they were without question, effective! Alex's 'Clockwork Client' is gonna go far in this company with his skills and insight!"_

* * *

Alex and Shenhua continued to celebrate in the ring as Shenhua started to shout, "I am rising star in this company! I am the one you should watch in XCW!" until the show transitioned to the ring, where Shenhua Irish whipped Daisy into a corner and charged toward her!

"Sure enough, the Taiwanese Assassin's dominance would continue throughout the month!" Frylock informed. "As she continued to win match. . ."

* * *

_Shenhua went for a corner splash. . ._

_. . .only for Daisy to nail her in the jaw with a corner kick! The Taiwanese Assassin stumbled back toward the center of the ring until Daisy came up from behind and put her in a headlock. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .only for Shenhua to drive Daisy backward into the ropes! The Taiwanese Assassin then shoved Daisy out of her grip and against the ropes on the other side! The Princess of Sarasaland bounced back toward Shenhua. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO STRUCK HER REPEATEDLY AND VICIOUSLY WITH THE THROWING KNIVES (KENTA Rush) UNTIL THE MUHY THAI BACK KICK KNOCKED DAISY ONTO THE MAT!_

" _Shenhua is absolutely UNRELENTING with her strikes!" Shake said, as the Taiwanese Assassin backed up to the opposite side of the ring, gripping onto the ropes as she leaned forward, glaring at Daisy while Alex cheered her on from ringside!_

" _Shenhua has that look in her eyes, Shake. . .she's got the proverbial knives out and is about to go in for the kill!" Frylock declared, as Daisy slowly but surely pulls herself up to her feet with the ropes and stepped back toward Shenhua. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO TOOK HER DOWN WITH THE TAIWANESE ASSASSINATION (Gail Kim's Eat Defeat)!_

" _She didn't just go in for the kill, Frylock. . .she stuck the assassination. . ." Shake exclaimed, as Shenhua crawled on top of Daisy for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _. . .and earned herself another victory!" finished Shake, as Shenhua rose up to her knees, smirking with satisfaction while the bell rang!_

**" _The winner of this match. . .'The Taiwanese Assassin'. . .SHENHUA!"_**

_Alex entered the ring above the second rope and raised Shenhua's arm in victory, pointing at her with his free hand and saying, 'That's my clockwork client! Another job bloody well done!" until the show transitioned to the ring, where Faye Valentine and Shenhua were brawling in the center of the ring!_

* * *

" _. . .after match. . ." Frylock said in the voiceover, as Faye surprised the Taiwanese Assassin with a left hand to her temple! Faye then Irish whipped Shenhua across the ring and took her down with a Big Boot! Faye then pulled Shenhua had Shenhua up by the hair before hitting her with a knee to the midsection before lifting her up for the Funny Valentine (Jackknife Powerbomb). . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Shenhua slugged Faye with a right hand of her own, knocking her down!_

_"OOOOOOOOH! Shenhua gave Faye a taste of her own medicine!" Shake declared. "Even the FALL looked painful!"_

_With Faye down, Shenhua strode toward a nearby corner and began climbing up to the top rope!_

" _And Shenhua's not looking to waste any time!" Frylock added, as Shenhua taunted for Faye to get up while Alex shouted, "DO IT, SHENHUA! MAKE THE RED, RED KROOVY (blood) SPILL ALL OVER THE MAT!"_

" _. . .Frylock. . ." Shake said, ". . .what's kroovy? Some kind of British ice cream. . .?"_

" _I'll tell ya tomorrow. . ." Frylock deadpanned, as Faye pulled herself up with the ropes, and finally came to a standing position. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO GO FLYING ACROSS THE RING WITH A DRAGONRANA FROM SHENHUA!_

" _The Taiwanese Assassin may have just given Faye Valentine a bad case of whiplash!" Frylock said. "And now Shenhua's back in total control!"_

" _She's looking to STAY in control, Frylock!" Shake added, as Shenhua stalked Faye, staring her down with her hands on her knees, leaning forward and shouting for Faye to stand up. With Alex cheering on from ringside, Shenhua stepped backward towards a nearby corner while Faye slowly rose up to her knees, and tried to come to her senses while stumbling toward the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .while Shenhua charged toward her. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND PLANTED HER FACE-FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH THE KUKIRI SLICE!_

" _Shenhua sliced and DICED Faye Valentine!" Shake declared. "HAHAHA! What a move!"_

_The Taiwanese Assassin rolled Faye onto her back before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _And what a victory for the Taiwanese Assassin! Make that now THREE straight matches in a row that Shenhua has won!" Frylock said, as Shenhua stood up from the cover, smirking with satisfaction as the bell rang!_

**" _The winner of this match. . .'The Taiwanese Assassin'. . .SHENHUA!"_**

" _It's been a damn good month to be Shenhua. . ." Frylock declared, ". . .she's won every match since Silver Lining, and done so in dominant fashion! Say what you will about how devastating her wrestling methods are, but her strikes are as swift as her general speed, and when she comes back from behind, she doesn't hold anything back! Whether it came from Alex or her time in SHIMMER, Shenhua is certainly proving herself to be a talent on the rise in this company-now, what the hell has gotten into Alex?"_

_The referee was about to raise Shenhua's arm in victory. . .until Alex charged into the ring and said, "Get your bloody rookers (hands) off my client!", upon which, the referee ran out of the ring!_

" _Alex wants to share this moment with his clockwork client, Frylock!" Shake declared. "And I don't blame him; the man has every reason to be proud of Shenhua right now! She hasn't lost a match since hiring him to be her manager and agent. It's safe to say that Alexander DeLarge is two for two in terms of taking the careers of rising stars and putting them in the right direction! This pair can only go up from here!"_

* * *

Alex pointed at Shenhua and shouted, "Fight my clockwork client. . .I CHALLENGE YOU!" toward the crowd as the Taiwanese Assassin started to yell at fans as well, until the show transitioned to the ring, where Shenhua stood in a corner as Casey Lynch made her way down the ramp with a smirk across her face, and Gibson electric guitar in hand.

". . .after match!" Frylock finished in the voiceover. "The success of Shenhua caught on fast in the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling locker room. So much in fact, that she was assigned to be Casey Lynch's partner in a tag team match against Sora and Yuna on the go-home episode of Monday Night Massacre before Shockwave! The Taiwanese Assassin wanted to keep her streak going, while Casey Lynch wanted to beat Sora and Yuna's faces in just six days before her triple threat match against the two of them! And following what would transpire before and after the match, tensions would flare up even MORE amongst the three women fighting for the Women's title. . ."

* * *

_Casey rested her guitar against a ring post upon reaching the ring before entering the ring above the second rope._

" _While Shenhua's been busy fighting and winning, the self-proclaimed, 'Goddess of Rock', Casey Lynch, has done nothing but run her mouth!" Frylock informed. "Just two weeks ago, she embarrassed the Cosmos Summoner, Yuna, by singing a song that highlighted her early failures in XCW, as well as her career as a pop star. And last week on Monday Night Massacre, she did the same thing to Sora Takenouchi! Casey Lynch has done a whole lot of talking, but it's time for her to prove that she can walk the walk!"_

_Alex nodded at Casey from the ringside floor, even going so far as to say, "Hi hi hi there," in her direction, to a head nod of acknowledgement from the Goddess of Rock. Casey then raised her right arm high in the air, flashing the "Rock On!" hand sign to the fans, who were giving her a mixed reaction._

" _I have no idea what you're talking about, Frylock!" disagreed Shake. "Casey Lynch CAN walk the walk! She made it all the way to the finals of last month's tournament! And if it wasn't for Yuna stumbling her way into success, she'd be Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion by now! But that won't matter really soon, because I firmly believe that as good as Sora looked last week, in six days, Casey Lynch is gonna be walking out of Shockwave with the Women's title! She's brash, she's brutal, and she LOVES to break faces! We'll see a lot of that from her and Shenhua in this match tonight!"_

_Casey looked up the ramp, smirking with anticipation. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ."WHAAAAAAAAAT UUUUUUUP, ZIOOOOOOOOON?"_

" _. . .what the. . .hell. . .?" Shake said, as Casey narrowed her eyes in confusion. . .as a hip-hop back beat played. . ._

_. . .as Yuna and Sora Takenouchi strutted onto the stage with a microphone in hand!_

" _Hey girls, before the match gets underway,_

_Me and Sora T. have got somethin' to say!_

_It's every woman for herself this time Sunday,_

_But Casey's got a war of words comin' her way._

_I'm the Shining Star this year, girl, I'm on a roll!_

_I'll never tap to you 'cause beating YOU is my goal._

_You could've sang your songs right to my face,_

_But you played to plants that went deaf from your bass._

_The crowd let out some laughter at that quip as Casey narrowed her eyes in annoyance at Yuna._

_Casey, you spout a bunch of shit that just ain't true_

_Like Usagi on color, you gotta to get a clue!_

_You brand yourself 'Electric' but you run on fumes. . ._

_You got no sparks, not even in the bedroom._

_I may not be a wonder woman formed from clay,_

_But I'mma ticking time bomb set to blow Sunday._

_If hurting me is what'll give you peace,_

_Bitch…your head's covered in too much grease."_

" _YO, YUNA!" Sora said._

" _YEAH?" replied Yuna._

" _Can I have the mic? I gotta say MY piece. . ." responded Sora._

" _Sure thing, Sora. . .I think the tension's about to increase." Yuna foreboded, as she handed Sora the_ _microphone while the had made it halfway down the ramp._

_"SO CASEY. . ." Sora said, before starting to rap. . ._

" _You went 'round sayin I ain't no Women's Champ,_

_Like I'mma take that from a two-bit tramp!_

_Victory on Sunday's how I'll leave my stamp_

_Here, not through hanging with some "INFAMOUS" camp._

_Sora made finger quotes when she said the word, 'infamous', as Casey's face fell into a scowl._

_You think you're so great for your edgy 'tude. . ._

_When all you've been is nothin' but rude!_

_Must get it from your lover, cuz you're nothin but mean._

_You're messed up psychologically, like Harvey Weinstein!_

_The crowd ERUPTED into a scream of, "OHHHHHHHHHHHH!" while Casey heard a chuckle from ringside. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and saw ALEX struggling to keep a straight face._

_You think the Kamiyas rule with an iron fist?_

_Jokes on you, girl, 'cuz we ain't joined at the wrist!_

_You got nothin' to your name 'cept a cover set list;_

_When your singing's more painful than an ovarian cyst!_

_The crowd shouted, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" again, as Casey's face turned bright red!_

_Once the first bell rings, you'll know we mean business!_

_You ain't been around long, girl, and you're such a hot mess._

_When the final bell rings, you can rant and rave,_

_But no matter what, your ass is mine come Shockwave!_

_PEACE!"_

_Sora threw the microphone down to the foot of the ramp and raised the XCW Woemn's Championship high above her head, and Yuna raised her staff. . .as Casey stewed to herself in the ring!_

" _Damn, Frylock. . ." Shake said in astonishment, ". . .I'd say Yuna should just give up wrestling and go into rap music, because that was BADASS!"_

" _. . .well, THAT'S a way to retaliate. . ." Frylock said, as Sora and Yuna slid into the ring under the bottom rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND WERE IMMEDIATELY MET WITH A BRAWL BY AN ANGRY CASEY AND SHENHUA!_

" _BUT CASEY AND SHENHUA ARE NOT LOOKING TO WASTE ANY TIME, SO HERE WE GO!" Frylock said, as the bell rang and the match began while Shenhua hammered away at Yuna with swift right hands until she knocked Yuna over all three ropes and down to the ringside floor with a clothesline! Meanwhile, Casey and Sora traded punches until Sora caught Casey's arm and put her in a wrist-lock only for Casey to counter with an Irish whip! Sora bounced off the ropes and was met with a knee to the abdomen from Casey! The Goddess of Rock then went for a tie-up only for Sora to counter out of it by putting Casey in another wrist-lock, then moving to face her back and wrench her arm before taking her down with an Inverted Fireman's Carry slam!_

* * *

_But Casey was quick to rise to her feet and catch Sora in another tie-up until the show transitioned to the arena, where Casey and Yuna charged toward each other, leaping up for jumping crossbody blocks. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR THE TWO OF THEM TO HIT EACH OTHER IN MID-AIR!_

" _Both teams of women put a number on each other in what was an excellent tag team matchup!" Frylock informed. "But it would also be one that had shenanigans at the finish. . ."_

* * *

_Both women were down in the center of the ring, clenching their chests in pain as they crawled their way to their respective corners!_

" _The Cosmos Summoner and the Goddess of Rock have put a number on each other during this women's tag team matchup. . .but The Taiwanese Assassin wants to get her licks in on the XCW Women's Champion for the first time in her career! Who will make the tag first?"_

_Yuna and Casey extended their hands out. . ._

_. . .reached for their partners hands. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tags, with Shenhua getting tagged in just a second before Sora!_

" _AND HERE THEY COME!" Frylock shouted, as Shenhua struck Sora with a running calf kick! Sora was quick to rise up to her feet only to get knocked down again by a roundhouse kick from Shenhua! Shenhua then went for a Discus Clothesline as Sora made her way up to her feet once more. . ._

_. . .but Sora ducked under the clothesline in time! The XCW Women's Champion then spun around to face Shenhua's back before putting her in a waist-lock. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HER WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! With the fans on their feet, Sora pulled herself up to a standing position_ _with the waist-lock still applied. . .and took Shenhua down with ANOTHER German suplex! Sora kept her grip on Shenhua's waist as she rose up to her feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HER WITH A THIRD AND FINAL GERMAN SUPLEX!_

" _Sora Takenouchi derails Shenhua's roll with a trifecta of German suplexes!" Frylock called, as Sora then leapt up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LANDED A 360 LEG DROP ACROSS THE CHEST OF SHENHUA! The Crestbearer of Love went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.75 SHENHUA KICKED OUT!_

_"Sora demonstrated great awareness and athletic ability to get herself the upper hand just now, but how will she follow it up?" Frylock wondered, as Sora pulled Shenhua up to her feet and went for a Northern Lights Suplex. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .only for Shenhua to headbutt Sora right between the eyes and break her grip! The Taiwanese Assassin then slapped Sora's chest with a furious series of knife-edge chops that drove the XCW Women's Champion against the ropes behind her. But Shenhua Irish whipped Sora across the ring and went for a neckbreaker on the bounceback. . ._

_. . .but the Crestbearer of Love leapt over Shenhua and bounced off the ropes in front of her! Sora then turned around to face the Taiwanese Assassin, waiting for her as she bounced back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND GOT A SLAP TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF HER FACE FOR HER TROUBLES! But with Sora dazed, Shenhua struck Sora on the left side of her face. . .then on the right again. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE HITTING SORA IN THE HEAD WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK, COMPLETING THE KENTA RUSH! Not satisfied, Shenhua pulled Sora up to her feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .sat her on her shoulders. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TOOK HER DOWN WITH A TORTURE RACK NECKBREAKER! Shenhua went for the cover, 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.75 SORA KICKED OUT! Shenhua couldn't believe it!_

" _NO! THE XCW WOMEN'S CHAMPION STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!" Frylock shouted, as Shenhua pulled Sora up by the air and Irish whipped her into her corner with so much power that the Crestbearer of Love that she bounced HARD out of it from the impact! Shenhua then caught Sora on the bounceback. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .turned around so her back was to the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and—could NOT execute the Exploder suplex because Sora charged forward, driving Shenhua into her corner! Sora wrestled her way out of Shenhua's grip. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BUT NOT BEFORE GETTING A RIGHT HAND TO THE FACE FROM CASEY!_

" _OH COME ON!" Frylock yelled. "Was that really necessary?"_

" _After she compared the Goddess of Rock to Harvey F*ckin' Weinstein, I'd say yes, Frylock!" Shake replied, as Shenhua ran forward and tied up Sora again. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND THIS TIME, SENT SORA FLYING INTO THE CORNER WITH THE WRIST CLUTCH EXPLODER SUPLEX! Shenhua then pulled Sora up and into the center of the ring by the hair before gripping her by the sides and ramming her back down with an Atomic Drop! Shenhua then hit Sora in the chest with a karate chop and a series of kicks. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL SORA CAUGHT ONE OF HER LEGS. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR SHENHUA TO NAIL HER IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH A GAMENGIRI!_

_"Sora thought she had Shenhua dead to rights, but the Taiwanese Assassin made a move before she could!" Frylock said._

_"Sora's getting MIGHTY slow in her old age. . ." Shake declared, as Frylock blinked twice._

" _. . .she's 23, Shake. . ." Frylock deadpanned._

" _Yeah but in animation, that's OUR age! She'll have your job in NO TIME!" Shake quipped. "Or rapping, which is what she SHOULD be doing. . ."_

" _She'll have YOURS before MINE. . ." Frylock muttered, as Shenhua dropped onto Sora for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999999 YUNA BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT! Shenhua ABRUPTLY shot up from the cover, staring down Yuna with her brow furrowed in anger!_

" _Yuna makes the save for her teammate!" Frylock called, as Shenhua ran toward Yuna, who turned around to face her. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .only for Shenhua to leap up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND NAIL YUNA IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE KUKIRI SLICE! Yuna collapsed face-first onto the mat before rolling out of the ring, to applause from Casey!_

" _And the Goddess of Rock appreciated THAT from the Taiwanese Assassin!" Frylock said, as Shenhua turned back around to face Sora. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO TOOK HER DOWN TO THE MAT WITH THE HEARTSTOPPER!_

" _BUT SORA TOOK ADVANTAGE OFF THE DISTRACTION! WHAT A HEARTSTOPPER NECKBREAKER!" Frylock called, as Shenhua tried to crawl toward Casey for a tag. . .but Sora grabbed her by the leg and drug her into the center of the ring before ramming her knee onto the mat with a knee smash! Sora then ran toward the ropes facing the ramp. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before LEAPING onto the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LANDING A SPRINGBOARD CORKSCREW SPLASH ONTO THE CHEST OF SHENHUA!_

" _SORA'S BRINGING THE SPIRAL TWISTER BACK INTO HER ARSENAL! DID IT GIVE HER THE WIN?" Frylock declared, as Sora went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999999999999999 CASEY PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!_

" _NO! THE GODDESS OF ROCK PULLED THE REFEREE OUT FROM UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE!" Frylock yelled, as Sora turned toward the ropes facing the announcer's table and got off the cover, looking for Casey. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO NAILED HER IN THE FACE WITH THE BOTTOM EDGE OF HER ELECTRIC GUITAR!_

" _WHAT THE HELL? DAMMIT!" Frylock screamed. "CASEY'S TAKING THE MATCH INTO HER OWN HANDS!"_

" _AND YUNA'S INCAPACITATED!" Shake added, as Sora clenched her head in pain while Casey dropped her guitar onto the ringside floor before sliding the referee back into the ring under the bottom rope and stepping back onto the ring apron. Casey then extended her arm out for a tag as Shenhua crawled toward her, clenching her ribs!_

" _Shenhua's taken a beating from the Crestbearer of Love. . .and Casey is foaming at the mouth on the idea of beating up Sora, as if that guitar shot wasn't enough!" Frylock said._

" _As good as her rap was, it lit a fire under Casey, alright!" Shake said, as Shenhua made the tag, and Casey charged right toward Sora, who had started to come to her senses as she turned around to face Casey. . ._

_. . .WHO NAILED HER IN THE FACE WITH A HEADBANGER! The Goddess of Rock then kipped up to her feet, raising her hand made in the 'Rock on!" hand sign to a mixed reaction from the crowd!_

" _The Goddess of Rock is up, and has the Women's Champion right where she wants her!" Shake said. "How HUGE would this be for Casey Lynch?"_

" _SHE HAD TO USE HER GUITAR TO GET HER THERE, SHAKE!" Frylock yelled. "It doesn't mean JACKSHIT!"_

_Casey then pulled Sora up by the hair and sang, "SWEET WIFE OF TAI'S. . ." right into her face before lifting her onto her shoulders. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .taking a few steps forward. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING SORA ONTO THE MAT WITH THE CURTAIN CALL!_

" _WHAT A CURTAIN CALL!" Shake exclaimed, as the referee, who had shaken himself back into reality, saw Casey Lynch go for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _AND WHAT A MATCH! Casey Lynch has pinned the XCW Women's Champion!" Shake cheered, as Casey rose up from the cover, smirking in satisfaction as the bell rang!_

" _ **The winners of this match. . .the team of SHENHUA AND CASEY LYNCH!"**_

" _What a HUGE victory for the Goddess of Rock tonight, Frylock!" Shake said. "As great as the XCW Women's Champion is, she didn't live up to the rap she came out to! Sora might as well go into that instead of showing up on Sunday, Frylock!" Shake told himself. "Because Casey Lynch proved that she's beatable here tonight in the biggest victory of her young career! This is just a taste of things to come at Shockwave this Sunday, because Casey's gonna use EVERYTHING she can to win, and under Triple Threat rules, she damn sure can. . .and for my money, she damn sure WILL become the new XCW Women's Champion!"_

_Alex then raised Shenhua and Casey's arms in victory, upon which, the Goddess of Rock shouted, "BRING ON SHOCKWAVE, BABY!" to more boos than cheers from the crowd. . ._

_. . .before stepping back toward Sora. . .?_

" _You can't sit there and tell me that Casey Lynch EARNED that victory, Shake!" Frylock snapped. "You saw her pull the referee out of the ring and hit Sora with her goddamn guitar! It's gonna take more than that for her to win the XCW Women's Championship this Sunday. . .but what the hell is Casey doing now. . .?"_

_Casey stared down at Sora, who was still clenching her head in pain. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before bending over to pick her up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR YUNA TO GRIP CASEY BY THE HAIR FROM BEHIND!_

"— _WAIT A MINUTE! CASEY FORGOT ABOUT THE OTHER WOMAN IN THE EQUATION!" added Frylock, as Yuna charged toward a nearby corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED CASEY ON THE HEAD WITH THE GRAND SUMMON!_

" _AND THAT WOMAN IS THE SHINING STAR OF THE YEAR!" Frylock called, as Yuna scowled in the direction of the prone Casey. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO SEE SHENHUA CHARGE FORWARD IN HER DIRECTION. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL SORA TOOK SHENHUA DOWN WITH A DROP TOE HOLD BEFORE LOCKING HER IN THE CROSSFACE!_

" _AND SORA RETURNS THE FAVOR BY LOCKING SHENHUA IN THE CROSSFACE!" Frylock screamed, as the crowd ERUPTED into cheers as Shenhua screamed in agonizing pain while Sora INTENSIFIED the hold!_

" _THIS IS ABSOLUTELY ABSURD BEHAVIOR FROM THE XCW WOMEN'S CHAMPION!" Shake yelled. "Do ya think she's on her period?"_

" _. . .I'd rather NOT find that out, Shake. . ." Frylock deadpanned, as Alex DeLarge finally broke up the Crossface, and slid out of the ring, pulling Shenhua out of it from under the bottom rope to more boos from the crowd, while Sora stared Casey and Shenhua down, absolutely INCENSED with anger!_

" _But Sora is absolutely ANGRY, and she has every right to be!" Frylock said, as Sora and Yuna traded verbal barbs with Casey and Shenhua, who were backing up the ramp. "Sora had the match won, and a woman of her caliber has a LOW tolerance for what the Goddess of Rock did to steal the win from her! But all three women go into Shockwave with a victory a piece this month! What's gonna happen in their triple threat match this Sunday? Will Casey Lynch use whatever weapons she can on her way to victory. . .or will Sora Takenouchi avenge this loss and retain the XCW Women's Championship?"_

_Casey and Shenhua had made their way to the stage as Yuna shouted, "IF ANYONE'S GONNA BE THE NEW WOMEN'S CHAMPION, IT"S ME!" at the Goddess of Rock. . ._

_. . .to a head tilt from the Crestbearer of Love. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .upon which, Yuna froze in her tracks. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and became engaged in a staredown with Sora!_

" _. . .or will it be Yuna who rises to the occasion. . .and lives up to her Shining Star of the Year award. . .?" Frylock asked. "These two women had a fantastic match against each other last month at Silver Lining. . .but will history repeat itself, or will history be made at Shockwave?"_

" _It's over for BOTH of these women." Shake quipped. "These two should go into rap."_

* * *

Yuna and Sora remained engaged in their staredown, with Casey looking on from the stage until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Frylock and Shake sat on barstools in front of a high definition television.

"Sora and Yuna dished out some payback after two weeks of insults from Casey, but the Goddess of Rock fired back with a ferocious fight!" Frylock informed. "Now tensions between all three of these women are higher than ever before! If you ask me, Shake, I am as excited as I am anxious to see what happens once that bell rings at Shockwave, and Sora Takenouchi puts her XCW Women's title on the line!"

"Casey's got it, full stop!" Yuna still thinks she's on Sora's level, Sora's having delusions of herself on the top of the ladder, and the Goddess of Rock is the young gun foaming at the mouth! She's gonna go on a tear this Sunday, without goddamn question! I hope she writes a song about it. . ."

"Maaaaaaybe in time for her solo album, Shake. . ." Frylock deadpanned, before turning back to look in the camera. ". . .but now we go from Sora Takenouchi's XCW Women's Championship. . .to her husband's XCW World Heavyweight Championship." Frylock said. "After successfully retaining his World title at Silver Lining, Tai Kamiya earned himself a month-long break from in-ring competition. And Space Ghost would demand that his title belt remain with the company during his imposed vacation, because he didn't want Tai to even THINK about wrestling while his knee recovered. But the Commissioner of XCW had a plan in mind for the title belt that he would reveal at the end of the episode of Monday Night Massacre that aired the night after Silver Lining. . .but little did he know that his plan would be thwarted minutes after it was enacted. . ."

* * *

_The show transitioned to the ring, where Space Ghost stood in the center of the ring with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship draped over his shoulder._

" _Greetings, ladies and gentlemen!" Space Ghost said, to cheers from the crowd. "I hope you all have had a fantastic night tonight. . .and last night at Silver Lining! You saw Sora Takenouchi return to in-ring competition against Yuna, and successfully defend her XCW Women's Championship. . .you saw the debut of the Wild Dudes, Mordecai and Rigby. . .and you saw Tommy Vercetti make history, and be the first man to win the Silver Lining briefcase._

_The crowd booed upon Space Ghost's mention of Mordecai and Rigby, but cheered after his mention of Sora's title win and Tommy's briefcase win._

" _But there's one more bit of housekeeping that needs to be taken care of after last night. . ." Space Ghost declared. ". . .because you also saw Tai Kamiya successfully defend the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship. . .and earn himself a much-needed month off from in-ring competition so his knee can fully heal. And that's precisely why I'm holding it right now. . .because the last thing I want Tai to do is even THINK about wrestling during his time off. But between scouting talent for the Indylympics, helping revamp our developmental territory, and several other business ventures, I need to hand this off to someone who will keep it in good hands. . .someone who's aspired to hold this belt ever since this company's inception. . .someone who's a living legend. . .and this is the man that Tai Kamiya personally requested to defend his title against in his return match at Shockwave. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .'The Animation Icon"—_

_-but then Space Ghost was interrupted. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .when 'Red Lottery' by Megasus played!_

" _Uh-oh. . ." Shake foreboded, as the crowd ERUPTED with boos while the arena became engulfed in red light. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and Hotsuma stepped onto the stage and down the ramp with Daffy Duck at his side, both men's focus solely on Space Ghost._

" _. . .well, we all know that Hotsuma isn't 'The Animation Icon', but for whatever reason, he's coming out here tonight, and it can't be with good intentions!" Frylock declared. "The Knighthood Leader was relentless in his decimation of Tai Kamiya for most of the match, but with the help of Bugs Bunny in his corner, the Crestbearer of Courage was able to escape with a rollup victory! But from the look underneath his visor, Hotsuma believes he has a claim for a rematch, but as of this moment, he's on the outside looking in!"_

_Hotsuma climbed over all three ropes while Daffy Duck demanded microphones from the timekeeper at ringside._

" _He might not be for long, Frylock. . ." Shake foreboded. ". . .you said it yourself, Tai Kamiya won with a rollup victory. . .and add to it, Bugs and Daffy got their hands on each other MORE than once during that matchup. You have to wonder if the Knighthood Strategist has a war of words on his mind for the Animation Icon, as well. . ."_

_Daffy entered the ring above the second rope before handing Hotsuma his microphone._

" _DON'T. . .SAY ANYTHING FURTHER, SPACE GHOST. . .you need to know why saying the name on your mind is the biggest mistake you'll ever make." Hotsuma seethed. "Bugs Bunny doesn't deserve to hold that belt for the month. . .he doesn't deserve to hold it AT ALL. . .and he SURE as hell doesn't deserve to fight for it at Shockwave! If you saw the main event last night. . .then you saw everything he pulled. If it wasn't for Bugs Bunny, Tai Kamiya wouldn't be out of this company for a month. . .he'd be out of it for LIFE. . .because his leg would be out of its SOCKET. But your beloved Animation Icon helped Tai Kamiya beat me by the skin of his teeth. . .and you're REWARDING him for it. . .for being Tai's best friend. That is nepotism at its finest. . .and low, especially for YOUR standards. If you go through with what you're about to do. . .and give Bugs the belt to take care of. . .you better resign as Commissioner. . .and return that Hall of Fame ring. . .because you won't have the fingers to WEAR IT AGAIN."_

_The crowd EXPLODED into more boos for the Knighthood duo, while Space Ghost stared down Hotsuma with a scowl._

" _You better listen to the man, Jack!" Daffy added. "And if you didn't, look no further than his shenanigans! He spent most of it assaulting me, violating the code of the Knighthood, and distracting Hotsuma from certain victory! The rabbit is not just rabid. . .he's not just out of control, but HE'S. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .DETHPICABLE!"_

_The crowd exploded into more boos as Daffy Duck gave Hotsuma his microphone._

" _Thank you, Daffy. . .it's satisfying to hear at least ONE legend in this ring tell the truth." Hotsuma said, before turning to Space Ghost. "You know that I had that match won. . .you know that I belong at the top of the ladder. . .and you know that I deserve to be XCW World Heavyweight Champion. And as for YOU, Commissioner. . .I don't expect you to give me the belt for the month. . .you didn't give me the time of day for SEVEN MONTHS. You witnessed at the beginning of your New Era what happened the last time you gave Bugs Bunny a title shot he didn't earn outright. . .but I fight with Honor Among Assassins. . .and regardless if it's with an ally or foe. . .ESPECIALLY with the stakes of this case, I must negotiate with Honor Among Assassins. So I am out here to propose THIS. . .give ME the shot against Tai Kamiya at Shockwave. . .and I'll leave you alone. REFUSE. . .and I'll—"_

_But suddenly, Hotsuma was cut off. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .by 'Buggin'' by Bugs Bunny! The crowd EXPLODED into a standing ovation as Bugs Bunny stepped onto the stage and down the ramp with a focused look on his face and a microphone in hand._

" _And here comes the man of the hour. . .but the Animation Icon doesn't look to be all smiles here tonight. . ." Frylock foreboded. ". . .and quite frankly, I don't blame him! Hotsuma's got a LOT of nerve to come out here and declare that Bugs doesn't deserve to hold the belt for his friend Tai Kamiya until Shockwave! He defended him with everything he had against Hotsuma and made sure Daffy Duck didn't try anything funny! And there is NO laughing matter here tonight, because the fate of the World Heavyweight Championship CLEARLY belongs to Bugs. . .but after Hotsuma's demands. . .the Animation Icon wants to nip this in the bud before it takes a turn for the worse. . ."_

" _Weeeeell, if it isn't the glory hog ready to use his TV time. . .juuuuust like always-" Daffy quipped, until Bugs snapped at him by yelling, "SHUT UP, DOC!" to MASSIVE cheers from the crowd!_

" _Y'know, Doc. . .you and Hotsuma are a perfect match, because you two ALWAYS make everything about YOURSELVES!" Bugs shouted. "I DESERVE to hold the belt for Tai while he's gone and I SURE as hell deserve to FACE him for the World Heavyweight Championship in four weeks at Shockwave, and lemme tell you BOTH why! I did my job last night and I did it WELL. . .because you tried to screw Tai out of the victory time and time and TIME again, Daffy. . .I HAD to attack you because I was in Tai's corner and wanted to assure the fight was FAIR. I don't care if the Knighthood abides by a code of honor or not, because you NEVER have! I can't count how many matches I've lost because of you cheating your way to a win! You may have gotten into the Hall of Fame based on how good of a bad guy you were. . .but I draw the line when you try to screw my friends out of the success that they have EARNED!_

_And as for you, Hotsuma. . .you know DAMN WELL that there's another reason why I EARNED this title shot. . .because your strategist and I have a LOT in common. We set the standards for the superstars of today. . .we are both part of a dying breed of wrestler. . .the old school showmen that made their way to the ring with one goal in mind. . .not to make the other person tap out. . .not to bust our opponents open. . .or beat them until they can't get up. . .our goal was to ENTERTAIN. That's what I've done. . .that's what I CONTINUE to do. . .all while I've adapted to the fighting style of this company. I have proven that you can teach an old dog new tricks. . .that the classics of this industry are NEVER too old to be enjoyed. . . that I BELONG in the same ring to fight with the likes of Claude, Tommy, Arthur, Garfield. . .and YOU, Hotsuma."_

_All Hotsuma continued to do was scowl under his visor as he listened to everything Bugs Bunny had to say._

" _It has been my ultimate GOAL to win the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship since this company's inception. . .and I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna let someone bully his way in front of me after LOSING his shot! BECAUSE I AM THE FIRST ENTERTAINER OF MY KIND. . .I AM THE GREATEST FICTION WRESTLER THAT'S EVER BEEN. . .I AM THE ANIMATION ICON, AND I HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO FACE TAI AT SHOCKWAVE FOR THAT TITLE!"_

_Bugs's face had turned BRIGHT RED from the intensity and passion of his words, as the crowd erupted with cheers and even chants of, "YOU'RE THE GREATEST!"_

" _You cut me REAL deep when you aligned yourself with Hotsuma last month, Daffy. . .I truly thought the hatchet was buried between us. . .but now that I've said my piece. . .we HAVE to let Space Ghost make a decision. Because Hotsuma, you NEED to learn your lesson about respecting those that came before you. . .and Daffy, you broke my heart. . .but if you pull anything on me or Space Ghost TONIGHT. . .rest assured. . .that I ain't afraid to BREAK YOU."_

_The crowd erupted into cheers and screams of, "OHHHHHHHHHHH!" as Daffy stared down his long time rival while Space Ghost put the microphone up to his mouth._

" _Well, gentlemen. . .you both have stated your case. . .and you have stated it WELL. . ." Space Ghost said, ". . .so that's why I've come to THIS solution. . .NEXT WEEK. . .on Monday Night Massacre, it'll be Bugs Bunny against Hotsuma-"_

" _NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT." interrupted Hotsuma, to boos from the crowd before turning toward Bugs. "I have this relic's number. I've beaten him one-on-one NOT once. . .but TWICE. The only reason you have to make this match, Space Ghost, is because these fans are too SIMPLE-MINDED to remember that!"_

_The crowd ERUPTED into boos before chanting, "YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!" at Hotsuma and Daffy._

" _However, Bugs. . .you said something just now that really caught my attention. . ." continued Hotsuma, ". . .you claim that you've adapted to the wrestling style of this company. . .yet you've LOST more matches than you've won. . .I would believe that would translate to more than a fair share of victories under your belt. . .but I have the perfect remedy for that. So I propose this. . .if you really want to adapt to the future of fiction wrestling. . .and if you REALLY want to face Tai Kamiya for the World Heavyweight Championship at Shockwave, and hold his title belt for him until his return. . .you CAN. . .but only if you do ONE THING. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .JOIN THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS."_

_The crowd EXPLODED into shock upon hearing Hotsuma's offer._

" _Because WE are the future of fiction wrestling. . .WE are the clan of carnage. WE have forged our own legacy, and aren't going away any time soon. WE are the embodiment of everything that XCW represents. . .and we treat each other like brothers. . .because we fight with HONOR. AMONG. ASSASSINS. . .and we ALWAYS get what we want. . .ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. So Bugs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .what do you say. . .?"_

_The crowd shouted variations of, "NO!" and, "DON'T DO IT!" while Bugs paused for a second to look down at the mat deep in thought before looking up at the Titantron. . .and finally looking back at Hotsuma. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and saying. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

" _. . .NO."_

_The crowd EXPLODED into cheers of joy and relief as Bugs stared down Hotsuma, who stepped in Space Ghost's direction while Daffy Duck strode right up to the face of the Animation Icon._

" _Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news to whatever follows this show, because until we get what we want. . .WE'RE NOT MOVING." Daffy declared, to boos from the crowd, as Hotsuma put his microphone up to his mouth._

" _You're absolutely right, Daffy. . ." agreed Hotsuma, before looking right into the eyes of Space Ghost, and saying. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

" _. . .and neither are YOU. . ."_

_. . .BEFORE DROPPING SPACE GHOST FACE-FIRST ONTO THE MAT WITH THE AKUJIKI!_

" _OH MY GOD!" Frylock exclaimed, as Daffy started to slug Bugs with a three-punch combination!_

" _HOTSUMA JUST ASSAULTED THE COMMISSIONER! SPACE GHOST MAY BE OUT COLD!" Frylock shouted, as Bugs began to fight back with a series of punches of his own to Daffy's temple but Hotsuma was quick to come to the side of his strategist and turn the brawl on Bugs into a double team!_

" _AND BUGS IS ALL ALONE!" Shake exclaimed. "Somebody has to stop this!"_

_Hotsuma then Irish whipped Bugs HARD across the ring, upon which, the Animation Icon bounced back off the ropes. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .RIGHT INTO AN AKUJIKI FROM HOTSUMA!_

" _GOOD LORD!" cringed Frylock. "NOW BUGS EATS THE AKUJIKI!"_

" _THIS IS TOO F*CKING HARD TO WATCH, FRYLOCK! LET'S GO TO BREAK OR SOMETHING!" yelled Shake, as Daffy hooked Bugs's arms and started to pull him up while shouting something in Hotsuma's direction._

" _Now what the hell is DAFFY going to do?" Frylock wondered, as Hotsuma stepped toward Space Ghost's prone body. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND PICKED UP THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE BELT!_

" _That is NOT yours, Hotsuma! You had your shot last night and FAILED!" Frylock called, as Daffy had brought Bugs back up to a standing position. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHILE HOTSUMA PUT THE WORLD TITLE BELT UNDER BUGS!_

" _I don't think he cares about that, Frylock. . .he only cares about rendering Bugs Bunny SENSELESS!" Shake declared, as Hotsuma shouted, "DO IT!". . ._

_. . ._

_. . .as Daffy turned Bugs around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPED HIM FACE FIRST ONTO THE TITLE BELT WITH THE KILLSWITCH!_

" _OH MY GOD!" cringed Shake, as Hotsuma kicked a knocked-out Bugs Bunny onto his back while Daffy stood up from the move with a sadistic grin on his face, and the crowd was UPROARIOUS with boos._

" _These two men. . .are SICK. They're ABSOLUTELY SICK." Frylock said to himself, as Hotsuma picked up the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt. . ._

_. . .AND DRAPED IT OVER HIS SHOULDER BEFORE STRIDING OUT OF THE RING!_

" _WHAT THE HELL IS HOTSUMA DOING?" Shake exclaimed. "BUGS WAS PUT IN CHARGE OF KEEPING AN EYE ON THAT!"_

" _There's no World Heavyweight Champion to fight for it, Shake!" Frylock said. "As far as Hotsuma's concerned, without Tai Kamiya, the belt is HIS to fight for, and HIS to hold. . ."_

_Hotsuma and Daffy strode up the ramp to MASSIVE boos from the crowd, leaving Bugs Bunny and Space Ghost unconscious in the ring._

" _GOD DAMN IT. . ." exclaimed Shake, ". . .WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN? WHAT ARE HOTSUMA AND THE KNIGHTHOOD GOING TO DO TO THAT BELT?"_

" _I shudder to think about that, Shake. . ." Frylock replied, as Hotsuma and Daffy made it to the stage and looked back at Bugs and Space Ghost. ". . .I really do. . ."_

* * *

Daffy shouted at the fans, who were booing UNBELIEVABLY LOUD while Hotsuma rose the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt high above his head until the show transitioned to the arena, where Space Ghost strode down the ramp with a microphone in hand.

"Hotsuma would go on to hold the World Heavyweight Championship belt up for RANSOM the following week until he got what he wanted: a rematch against Tai Kamiya for the belt at Shockwave. The Commissioner of XCW would have more than a few words to say to the Knighthood Leader as well, and quite a lofty challenge for him to boot later in the night. . ."

* * *

_Space Ghost stood in the center of the ring and put the microphone up to his mouth._

" _Normally, ladies and gentlemen. . . . .I'd be out here this early in the night to give you a rundown of the events on tap for tonight's edition of Monday Night Massacre. . .but after how LAST Monday night ended. . .I have a LOT of business to conduct. . .starting with the Knighthood of Assassins. Their leader's attack on me and the Animation Icon was unexpected. . .unbridled. . .unnecessary. . .and worthy of a punishment. So as the Commissioner of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .I am DEMANDING to see the Knighthood Strategist. . .and the Knighthood Leader. . .the two men who stole our company's prized possession. HOTSUMA. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .GET OUT HERE NOW."_

_The crowd erupted into cheers with excitement while Space Ghost lowered the microphone to stare up the ramp INCENSED with anger. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Hotsuma's music never hit._

" _HOTSUMA. . .COME DOWN HERE. THAT'S AN ORDER." Space Ghost shouted into the microphone. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but neither Hotsuma nor Daffy came out. Space Ghost gripped his microphone even harder, the grimace on his face only appearing angrier as he stepped toward the edge of the ring facing the ramp, looking down at the entranceway and screaming,_

"HOTSUMA! DAFFY! THE BOTH OF YOU GET OUT HERE OR I'LL FIRE YOU, RIGHT HERE AND NOW!"

_But suddenly, Space Ghost was interrupted by the words-_

" _LIKE HELL YOU WILL!"_

_And at THAT point, the crowd just DETONATED with boos as Space Ghost looked up at the Titantron. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and saw HOTSUMA sitting on a large metal throne with the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight title belt draped over his shoulder, and Daffy Duck by his side with his arms crossed._

" _Your words mean NOTHING to me, Space Ghost. . .they've ALWAYS been empty threats, and nothing more." Hotsuma said. "Hell, you've hidden behind a curtain under the illusion of power since the beginning of this company. You tried to hotshot XCW to instant stardom by backing the Super Mario Syndicate. . .only to get injured for your troubles. You tried to sweep that failed investment under the rug by ushering in a New Era. . .and you threatened to disband my Knighthood when you came close to firing all five of us last month. . .but you were talked out of it as fast as the thought came into your head. Now you stand before myself and my strategist with a Hall of Fame ring on your right hand. . .and think that makes you the best authority figure in the land. . .but it's absolutely PATHETIC. . .just like how you gave Tai Kamiya a break from being the World Heavyweight Champion. You're tarnishing that ring, this company AND your career with your repeated demands. . .but you CAN redeem yourself. . .by listening to MINE. . ."_

_Space Ghost shook his head. "You're talking about the PAST, Hotsuma. Once I made my return to this company following Endgame, I told the fans in the stands and everyone watching at home that I have changed my ways. . .and ever since then, I have PROVED it. We pride ourselves on giving the fiction wrestling legends of old a chance to rejuvenate their careers, while offering unknown wrestlers a time in the spotlight. . .and more rookies new to this industry have debuted here in the last month alone than in the first six months XCW has been in operation. The women's division has expanded. . .and the expansion of the tag team division is in plain sight. And our wrestlers and their injuries are being treated better than they ever were. Because if there's one thing I learned while I was laid up and out of commission. . .and saw what happened when XCW was ran by a dictator. . .it's that my wrestlers DESERVE to be taken care of. I came back, made things right . .and I knew I had the trust of the roster. .when they fought their hearts out at the XCW Summer Supershow. Right then and there, I saw my roster not just as my employees. . .but as my children. I am proud of them for their perseverance. . .for their patience. . .and their passion for this company, and this business._

_HOWEVER. . .I look at YOU. . .and I see a wrestler who didn't WANT to persevere. Someone who didn't WANT to be patient for his shot. . .someone who just wanted to destroy EVERYONE and EVERYTHING in his path for instant glory. . .and that is NOT what this company STANDS FOR ANYMORE! So if you value yourself as a member of this roster, you will COME OUT HERE, AND RETURN WHAT YOU'VE STOLEN, OR YOU WILL BE TERMINATED!"_

_Hotsuma glared at Space Ghost from under his visor before speaking again._

" _All that may be correct. . .you may have made things right with the rest of your roster. . .but Space Ghost. . .you haven't made things right between yourself and the Knighthood. And as long as I lead this faction of fury. . .a faction in possession of most of the gold that can be plundered here. . .you CAN'T fire me. You said it yourself. . .you take PRIDE in giving legends and unknowns equal opportunity. If all the other companies saw you fire me right here, and right now. . .everything would be undone. Your roster would abandon you. . .your business ventures would evaporate. . .and your legacy as both a wrestler AND commissioner would crumble. . .thanks to you. So do the CORRECT thing. . .and give ME the match against Tai Kamiya at Shockwave. Under MY circumstances, Bugs Bunny gets hold of the title until your franchise fighter returns. REFUSE. . .and your Hall of Fame ring will be on the shelf of a STAKEMAN."_

_Space Ghost paused to think for a couple minutes, as the crowd erupted into a mixed reaction! The smark half of the audience chanted, "YES! YES! YES!" while the other half chanted, "NO! NO! NO!" The Commissioner of XCW paced around the ring for a bit, before looking back up at the Titantron, glaring right at Hotsuma's eyes and saying. . ._

" _. . .AT SHOCKWAVE. . .Tai Kamiya will defend the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .against HOTSUMA. . ."_

_The smarks ERUPTED into cheers while the casual fans booed, and the Knighthood Leader nodded in satisfaction. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

" _ **. . .AND BUGS BUNNY!"**_

_And that's when the ENTIRE crowd DETONATED WITH CHEERS as Hotsuma clenched his fists and grimaced at Space Ghost, growing FURIOUS with anger!_

" _Shockwave's main event. . .WILL BE A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH!" Space Ghost declared. "No matter what kind of a bind you put me in, Hotsuma. . .your end of the bargain has been met. I WON'T let you hold that title and this company for ransom any longer! Nor can YOU afford to. . .because you and Daffy have a match to prepare for. You two are going to pay for your actions last week. . .in a TAG TEAM MATCH. . .that's NO HOLDS BARRED!"_

_The crowd exploded with more cheers of excitement, as Space Ghost looked on at the Titantron with a smirk. "And you will be facing. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . . D-GENERATION ED!"_

_The crowd POPPED even more in excitement for the match, while a focused Hotsuma put his microphone up to his mouth._

" _For the sake of them. . .you BETTER make that match for NEXT WEEK. . .because TONIGHT. . I want to live up to my end of the bargain. I said that if you gave me the opportunity to fight for this World Heavyweight Championship at Shockwave. . .I would give Bugs the belt for the month UNDER. MY. CIRCUMSTANCES. And UNDER MY CIRCUMSTANCES, I will give your Animation Icon what he desires IF AND ONLY IF. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .he can defeat THREE OF MY ASSASSINS IN THE KNIGHTHOOD TONIGHT. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .IN A GAUNTLET MATCH."_

_The crowd shouted, "Oooooohhhhh….." in fearful intrigue as Space Ghost looked up at the Titantron, paused for a second. . .before mildly nodding his head in acceptance._

" _It was a pleasure negotiating with you. . ." Hotsuma brooded. ". . .but there's no negotiation for the EXECUTION Bugs is in store for. We'll leave the arena with this title in our possession. . .AND HIS BLOOD ON OUR HANDS."_

* * *

Space Ghost looked away from the Titantron, unsure of what to say as the show transitioned to the ring, where Bugs Bunny paced around the ring, staring down Solid Snake until the two men met in the center of the ring to trade punches.

"And Bugs would fight his HEART out against the Knighthood that night. Every match grew in brutality with every opponent. . ." Frylock said, as Bugs slugged Snake in the temple with a right hand with the crowd chanting "YAY!" in unison with it, only for Snake to hit him in the chin with an uppercut, as the crowd chanted "BOO!" in unison with it!

* * *

" _Bugs and Snake are giving each other everything they have inside those punches. . .but the Animation Icon has little room for error in this standoff!" Frylock declared._

_The two men continued to trade right hands until Snake retaliated with a surprise left hook instead of a right hand! Snake then sent Bugs reeling against the ropes before slugging him with an uppercut that sent the Animation Icon flying over all three ropes and onto the ring apron! Snake then backed up to the center of the ring and charged toward Bugs going for a spear. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO BE MET WITH A SPINNING BACK KICK FROM BUGS! Snake reeled back into the center of the ring in a daze while Bugs re-entered the ring above the second rope. The Animation Icon then charged back toward Snake and took him down with a swinging neckbreaker before running against the ropes in front of him and landing onto his chest with a falling elbow! Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . .SNAKE KICKED OUT! Bugs couldn't believe it!_

" _NOOOO! Snake just got the shoulder up!" Frylock said, as Bugs pulled Snake up by the headband and slapped him in the chest with a swift knife-edged chop! The crowd chanted, "WOOO!" in unison with the chop while Bugs continued the onslaught of chops to the chest until Snake was backed up into a nearby corner. Bugs then stepped out of the corner and went for the Karate Kick. . ._

_. . .but Snake spun out of the corner in time, causing Bugs to hit the top turnbuckle with his kicking foot! The Animation Icon clenched his foot in pain before turning around. . ._

_. . .AND GETTING TAKEN DOWN BY A SNAP DDT FROM SNAKE!_

" _AND THE FORMER HARDCORE CHAMPION TAKES THE ANIMATION ICON BY SURPRISE WITH THAT DDT!" Frylock declared, as Snake went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.5 BUGS KICKED OUT! Snake punched the mat in anger!_

" _But Bugs has always been a resilient fighter!" Frylock said. "He will not quit, much to the chagrin of Solid Snake!"_

_"But when Snake gets angry, the more brutal he gets in the ring!" Shake informed. "What's the Metal Gear Mascot gonna go for here?"  
_

_Snake then pulled Bugs up to a standing position. . .strafed behind him. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LOCKED IN THE SLEEPER HOLD!_

Snake brought Bugs to the center of the ring and applied more pressure to Bugs's head and neck! Bugs waved his arms around and tried to elbow Snake, attempting to fight out of the hold but to no avail. The referee asked Bugs if he wanted to quit but he shook his head no. Bugs's body started to go limp, and Snake brought Bugs down closer to the ground while keeping his grip on the hold!

_The referee raised Bugs's arm up and dropped it, letting it fall limply to his sides._

_After counting one, the referee raised Bugs's arm up again, and let it fall back to his side._

_The referee counted one, and picked up Bugs's arm one more time. . ._

_. . .and Bugs furiously elbowed Snake in the face! Bugs continued to fight out of the hold with every elbow to the chest and face of Snake, who pulled Bugs back up with his grip still on Bugs's neck. Bugs kept elbowing and fighting out of the hold until he finally broke free, then slugged Snake HARD in the chin with an uppercut. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before spinning around to put Snake in a hammerlock. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVE HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A FULL NELSON SLAM!_

" _FULL NELSON SLAM!" Frylock called. "BUGS FOUGHT OUT OF THE SLEEPER HOLD TO DROP SNAKE WITH THE FULL NELSON!"_

_Bugs dropped onto Snake, quickly hooking the leg for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.5 SNAKE KICKED OUT! Bugs punched the mat in frustration!_

" _NOOOO! SNAKE SOMEHOW KICKED OUT!" Frylock yelled. "And now Bugs is beside himself!"_

" _What does he have to do in order to put Snake away?" Shake wondered, as the Animation Icon rose up to his feet, still trying to catch his breath as he stepped toward a corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND STOMPED HIS FOOT ON THE MAT!_

" _Bugs is looking to pull out the oldest move in his arsenal. . .but it's put many wrestlers away in the past!" Frylock said. "Will Bugs be able to put his first opponent in this Gauntlet match away. . ."_

_Bugs then charged out of the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED SNAKE WITH THE KARATE KICK—NO! SNAKE SPUN UNDER BUGS'S LEG TO AVOID IT!_

" _. . .with the Karate Kick—NO! SNAKE COUNTERED OUT OF IT!" Frylock called, as Bugs turned toward to face the Metal Gear Mascot. . ._

_. . .WHO KICKED HIM IN THE MIDSECTION!  
_

" _OH NO. . .now Snake's in the driver's seat thanks to that counter!" Frylock cried. "He's got the Animation Icon set up for his devastating Jumping Piledriver!"_

_Snake then lifted Bugs up in a piledriver position. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR BUGS TO DRIVE HIM AGAINST THE ROPES!_

" _NO! BUGS ISN'T TAKING THAT MOVE WITHOUT A FIGHT!" Frylock shouted, as Snake let go of his grip on Bugs upon making impact with the ropes. Bugs then stood up and gripped Snake by the arm before Irish whipping him hard across the ring! Bugs charged toward Snake, who bounced off the ropes to run toward the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND GET HIT BY THE KARATE KICK FROM BUGS TO A MASSIVE POP FROM THE CROWD!_

" _THERE'S THE KARATE KICK!" Frylock exclaimed, as Bugs dropped onto Snake for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _AND BUGS BUNNY WINS THE FIRST FALL!" exclaimed Frylock, to massive cheers from the crowd as the bell rang!_

**" _The winner of the first match. . .BUGS BUNNY!"_**

" _One fall down, and two more to go for the Animation Icon!" Frylock said, as Snake rolled out of the ring and Bugs made it up to one knee. "Now he advances to his next opponent, which is—"_

_The arena then became engulfed in light blue light. . .and "Red Lottery" by Megasus began to play again. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .as SUB-ZERO made his way down the ramp with his XCW Tag Team title belt around his waist._

" _And it is the colder half of the XCW Tag Team Champions!" Frylock said._

" _From the NetherRealm. . .he is one half of the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .'The Lin-Kuei Grandmaster'. . .SUUUUUB-ZEROOOOOOOO!"_

" _All of a sudden, the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster certainly has a lot to look forward to." Frylock called. "Earlier tonight, he learned that Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick are going to be the first opponents for his and Scorpion's XCW Tag Team titles at Shockwave in a couple weeks, and right now he has the opportunity of a lifetime to face the Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny—"_

_Sub-Zero cracked his neck as he made it to the foot of the ramp and ran into the ring under the bottom rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND RIGHT INTO A FLURRY OF RIGHT HANDS FROM BUGS!_

" _BUT THE ANIMATION ICON ISN'T LOOKING TO WASTE ANY TIME!" Shake yelled. "BUGS WANTS NOTHING MORE THAN TO PUT THE WORLD TITLE BELT BACK IN HIS POSSESSION!"_

" _HE'S A HOUSE OF FIRE RIGHT NOW, SHAKE!" Frylock exclaimed, as Bugs backed Sub-Zero up against the ropes before backing up to the center of the ring and going for another Karate Kick. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .only for the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster to pull down the top rope, causing Bugs to fall over all three ropes and down to the ringside floor!_

" _But Sub-Zero is quick in the mind. . ." Shake said, as Sub-Zero ran against the ropes on the far side of the ring before charging back toward the ropes on the other side! "And he's about to demonstrate that he's QUICK TO FLY!"_

_Sub-Zero then leapt over all three ropes. . ._

_. . .BEFORE TAKING BUGS DOWN ON THE OUTSIDE WITH A SUICIDE DIVE!_

" _SUB-ZERO LIVING UP TO HIS STATUS AS CHAMPION THANKS TO THAT DEATH-DEFYING DIVE!" Frylock yelled. "But both men are down! Will Bugs get closer to the World Championship, or will the Knighthood reign supreme?"_

* * *

Bugs clenched his shoulder in pain while Sub-Zero writhed on the ringside floor until the show transitioned to the ring, where Sub-Zero sent Bugs flying into a corner with a Monkey Flip before hammering away at Bugs's face with right hands!

"The match against Sub-Zero would be a tougher match for Bugs because of the former's uncanny speed and quickness! It would expel a lot of energy from both competitors, but culminate in quite a finish!" Frylock informed.

* * *

_Sub-Zero had Bugs in a wrist-lock while climbing up to the top turnbuckle. . ._

_. . .before walking a few steps on the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND TAKING BUGS DOWN WITH A JUMPING ARM DRAG!_

" _SUB-ZERO JUST SENT THE ANIMATION ICON FLYING WITH THAT ARM DRAG!" Frylock declared, as Sub-Zero pulled Bugs's arm back up and landed a leg drop onto his shoulder before going for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.5 BUGS KICKED OUT!  
_

" _BUGS JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!" Frylock said. "But what kind of shape is that shoulder in?"_

" _It hasn't been the same since the Suicide Dive at the beginning of the match. . .but Sub-Zero hasn't done him any favors, either!" Shake said. "He's moving too fast for Bugs to catch up to him!"_

_Sub-Zero then pulled Bugs up by the ears and slugged him with a series of right hands to the face before Irish whipping him across the ring and taking him down with a Legsweep Kneecrusher! Sub-Zero then waited for Bugs to rise to his knees before going for a hurricarana. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Bugs countered by keeping his grip on Sub-Zero before he could flip him around! Bugs pulled himself up to a standing position and lifted Sub-Zero up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROVE HIM AGAINST HIS KNEE WITH A POWERBOMB LUNGBLOWER!_

" _OOOOOOOOH! THAT'LL SLOW SUB-ZERO DOWN!" Shake cringed, as Bugs went for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.5 SUB-ZERO KICKED OUT! Bugs rolled off from the cover, exasperated!_

" _NOOOO! Bugs FINALLY got an opening, but it wasn't enough!" Frylock called. "What will be the next move for the Animation Icon?"_

_Bugs then pulled Sub-Zero up to his feet and slapped him in the chest with a furious chop! Bugs continued to hit Sub-Zero with chop after chop until the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster was driven up against the corner. Bugs then draped Sub-Zero's arm over his back before lifting him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and sitting him on the top rope!_

" _Bugs Bunny is looking to take Sub-Zero for a potentially LONG fall!" Frylock declared, as Bugs climbed up to the top turnbuckle and stood on it before draping Sub-Zero's arm across his back. . ._

_. . .only for Sub-Zero to hit him in the chest with a right-hand!_

" _But now Sub-Zero's fighting back, Frylock!" Shake said. "He's as at home up there as Bugs is!"_

_Sub-Zero continued to hit Bugs in the chest with a series of right hands. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before hitting him with an EMPHATIC uppercut. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .THAT SENT BUGS OFF THE TOP ROPE AND DOWN TO THE MAT!_

" _BUGS IS DOWN! AND SUB-ZERO IS RIGHT WHERE THE CROWD DOESN'T LIKE HIM TO BE!" Frylock said, as the crowd erupted into boos while Sub-Zero sized up Bugs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .who slowly but surely staggered up to his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until Sub-Zero leapt off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SENT BUGS FLYING WITH A DRAGONRANA!_

" _THE DRAGONRANA! BAH GAWD THAT SENT BUGS ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE RING!" Frylock exclaimed, as Sub-Zero staggered up to his feet before pulling Bugs back into the ring by the ears!_

" _That last high-risk maneuver had a perfect payoff for Sub-Zero. . .did it give him and the Knighthood a win?" Frylock called, as Sub-Zero laid on top of Bugs for the cover, 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.75 BUGS GOT THE SHOULDER UP!_

" _BUGS KICKED OUT! BUGS KICKED OUT! BUGS KICKED OUT!" Frylock shouted, as Sub-Zero rolled up from the cover and stepped over to the ropes, holding onto him and looking down at the mat to catch his breath._

" _That dragonrana took a lot of energy from the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster. . .is this the opening that Bugs needs to get back into this match?" Frylock wondered, as Bugs pushed himself up to his feet and stumbled toward Sub-Zero before putting him in a full nelson hold. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .only for Sub-Zero to elbow out of it and drop Bugs onto his back with a Standing Sea Fire! Sub-Zero then looked down at Bugs as if to go for the cover. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but then he stopped to look up at the corner not far from his adversary. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and started to stride towards it!  
_

" _Wait a minute. . .Sub-Zero wants to go for ANOTHER high-risk maneuver!" Frylock called. "And this could very well be the nail in the coffin for Bugs!"_

_Sub-Zero climbed onto the top rope and gave Bugs the cut throat taunt to boos from the crowd. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before staring Bugs down. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .THEN LEAPING OFF THE TOP ROPE. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND BUGS RAISED HIS KNEES BEFORE SUB-ZERO MADE IMPACT WITH THE MOONSAULT SENTON!_

" _OHHHHHHH! THE EVER-RESOURCEFUL ANIMATION ICON USING GREAT RING AWARENESS TO SAVE HIMSELF AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS OPPONENT!" Frylock shouted, as Sub-Zero writhed on the mat, clenching his ribs in pain!_

" _Now THAT looks like it hurt!" Shake added. "Now Bugs has the hammer. . .here comes HIS nail in the coffin!"_

_Sub-Zero slowly but surely pulled himself up to his feet, using the ropes to do so. Cringing in agonizing pain, the Lin-Kuei Grandmaster turned around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND ATE THE KARATE KICK FROM BUGS!_

" _AND BUGS HITS ANOTHER KARATE KICK!" Frylock called, as the crowd popped hard with more cheers as Bugs fell on top of Sub-Zero for the cover! "AND THAT'S GOTTA BE ALL SHE WROTE!"_

_The referee made the count, 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.75 SUB-ZERO KICKED OUT! The crowd groaned in disappointment and Bugs rolled up to a seated position from the cover, looking through the ropes in shock, and confusion over what to do next!_

" _HOW THE HELL DID SUB-ZERO KICK OUT?" Frylock exclaimed._

" _BUGS WANTS TO KNOW THAT TOO, FRYLOCK!" added Shake. "He's beside himself!"_

" _It has been a grueling two matches in a row for the Animation Icon. . ." Frylock said, as Bugs looked down at Sub-Zero. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .picked him up by his collar and drug him to the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE PUTTING HIM IN POSITION FOR A POWERBOMB!_

" _. . .but he's one to NEVER give up in the face of defeat!" finished Frylock, as Bugs kicked Sub-Zero in the midsection for good measure. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before lifting him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH THE BUNNY BOMB!_

" _AND WITH THAT, COMES THE BUNNY BOMB!" exclaimed Frylock, as Bugs collapsed on top of Sub-Zero, hooking the leg for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _AND BUGS PICKS UP THE WIN AGAINST SUB-ZERO!" Frylock shouted, as Bugs rolled off Sub-Zero, looking up at the lights and rapidly inhaling to catch his breath while the bell rang!_

**" _The winner of this match. . .BUUUUUUGS BUNNY!"_**

" _This sell-out crowd couldn't be prouder of the Animation Icon here tonight!" Frylock declared. "He's out there putting his heart and soul on the line not even to BE XCW World Heavyweight Champion. . .he just wants to do the task what his boss and friend assigned him with and make them PROUD. . .he's as admirable in the ring now as he was at the beginning of his career all those years ago!"_

" _In this fall, the Icon has defeated the Grandmaster. . ." Shake said, as Sub-Zero rolled out of the ring, ". . .but Sub-Zero's quickness may have done a number on Bugs, because he looks TIRED. But if he can beat one more opponent. . .he'll get Tai's World title back. . .and all of his focus will go into preparing for Shockwave!"_

_Bugs slowly but surely sat up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .as the arena became engulfed in gold light while 'Red Lottery' by Megasus began to play again. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and who should walk down the ramp. . .none other than the second Icon in this match. . ._

_. . ._

" _Introducing the FINAL opponent. . .representing the Knighthood of Assassins. . .from The NetherRealm. . .he is one half of the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Tag Team Champions. . .'The Icon of UWE'. . .SCOOOOOOOOOOORPIOOOOOOOOON!"_

" _. . .the final hurdle for Bugs is a BIG one. . ." Frylock said, as Scorpion stepped down the ramp with his XCW Tag Team title belt draped over his shoulder. ". . .because this Gauntlet match is ending with a fight that pits ICON VERSUS ICON. . ."_

" _You called Sub-Zero the colder half of the XCW Tag Team Champions, I'd say they're EQUALLY as cold from an emotional standpoint, Frylock!" Shake insisted. "But Scorpion's gonna unleash hellfire to keep Hotsuma's delusions of grandeur alive and well, and if that's not insane, we'll see the definition of it in a few short minutes. . .because Bugs is EXHAUSTED, and has a focused and ready Icon in his own right staring him in the face! This will end either really WELL, or really BAD. . ."_

_Scorpion climbed over all three ropes and handed his tag title belt to the referee, standing in his corner waiting for Bugs to slowly but surely stagger up to his feet. The Animation Icon raised two fists as the referee made his way back into the ring and signaled for the bell to ring!_

* * *

Both Scorpion and Bugs charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring for a brawl until the show transitioned to later in the match, where both men were down on opposite sides in the center of the ring, as the referee's ten count reached five!

"Scorpion would dominate the Animation Icon early, but Bugs would fight his way back into it with two Karate Kicks and more big moves!" Frylock informed. "But it all came down to the finish. . .would Scorpion keep the World title in possession of the Knighthood of Assassins, or will Bugs Bunny finally get to uphold his promises to Tai and Space Ghost?"

* * *

_Both men pulled themselves up with the ropes on opposite sides of the ring, finally breaking the referee's ten count at seven! Bugs and Scorpion then stumbled toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring and began to trade right hands, with the crowd chanting "BOO!" in unison with Scorpion's punches, and chanting, "YAY!" in unison with Bugs Bunny's right hands! The two icons continued to hit each other with punches until Scorpion hit Bugs in the chest with a gut punch! Scorpion continued to hit Bugs with gut punch after gut punch until he was backed up into a corner. Scorpion then charged toward the corner and nailed Bugs with a corner clothesline before resting him onto his shoulders. . .pulling him out of the corner, and taking him down with a Samoan Drop! Scorpion bent down to make the cover. . ._

_. . .only for Bugs to sit back up and nail the Icon of UWE with a right hand to the temple! The Animation Icon slowly but surely made his way up to his feet, wavering upon making a standing position. Bugs then Irish whipped Scorpion across the ring and bent down on the bounceback, waiting for his adversary so he could do a back body drop. . ._

_. . .but Scorpion kicked Bugs in the midsection! The Icon of UWE then caught Bugs after he bounced off the ropes behind him to take him down with a spinebuster! But it wasn't enough for Scorpion, because he pulled Bugs up by the ears before leaping up himself. . ._

_. . .AND DRIVING BUGS ONTO THE MAT WITH THE STANDING SHIRANUI! Scorpion went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.75 BUGS KICKED OUT! SCORPION COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!_

_"Scorpion may not like it, but the rest of the XCW faithful can't get enough of it!" Frylock called. "Bugs is exhausted, he's beaten, he's broken. . .but he LONGS to live up to the promise he made to Tai, Space Ghost and the rest of XCW!"_

_"He's got Scorpion MAD now, Frylock!" attested Shake. "And when Scorpion's mad, we all know how he shows it!"_

_Scorpion pulled Bugs up by the ears and put him in a headlock before kneeing him in the gut. Scorpion then lifted Bugs up for a gutbuster against his knee. . ._

_. . .but Bugs knocked Scorpion's grip off by kicking him in the chest! Bugs landed on his feet, wavering as he reached a full standing position before nailing Scorpion in the chest with a furious knife-edged chop! Bugs continued to hit Scorpion with knife-edged chop after knife-edged chop until the Icon of UWE was backed up into a corner. But Bugs was quick to put Scorpion in a headlock. . .pull him into the center of the ring and drop him head-first onto the mat with a DDT! With all his might, the Animation Icon pulled Scorpion up by his vest and Irish whipped him across the ring. Bugs went for the Karate Kick as Scorpion bounced back towards him, but Scorpion ducked under it before bouncing off the ropes behind him and charging toward the Animation Icon. . .only to receive an Inverted Atomic Drop for his troubles! Scorpion stumbled backward in pain while Bugs set his hands on his knees, stalking Scorpion, who turned around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND THIS TIME, WAS TAKEN DOWN BY THE KARATE KICK FROM BUGS!_

_"NOW THE KARATE KICK CONNECTS!" Frylock exclaimed. "WILL THAT BE ALL BUGS NEEDS TO WIN?"_

_Bugs fell on top of Scorpion for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.75 SCORPION GOT THE SHOULDER UP! Bugs rolled off from the cover, absolutely exasperated!_

_"NO!" Frylock yelled, as Bugs crawled toward the ropes. "Scorpion still has signs of life. . .and Bugs is beside himself!"_

_"He's outlasted Sub-Zero and Solid Snake, Frylock. . .but does he have the energy within him to defeat Scorpion and reclaim the title for himself?" Shake wondered, as the crowd erupted into chants of, "LET'S GO BUGS! LET'S GO BUGS!"_

_"The fans are on their feet for the Animation Icon. . .it's their energy that gives Bugs hope. . .it's THEIR energy that gives Bugs life. . .it's THEIR energy that makes Bugs drive to keep going and WIN THIS GRUELING GAUNTLET MATCH!"_

_Bugs finally made it to his feet by pulling himself up with the ropes before turning around and strode toward Scorpion with his fists raised. Bugs then nailed the Icon of UWE with a three-punch combination before lifting him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and getting a FURIOUS European uppercut from Scorpion that sent him falling to the mat!_

_"OOOOOOOOOOH!" cringed Frylock. "Bugs tried to fight back into this thing but ONE right hand knocked him down! This isn't good for the Animation Icon. . ."_

_"It's certainly a testament to how fresh Scorpion is compared to Bugs. . ." Shake added, as Scorpion pulled Bugs up by the ears and lifted him off the ground. . ._

_. . .before taking him down with a HUGE Gutwrench Suplex! But the Icon of UWE bent over to pick Bugs up again. . .only for the Animation Icon to kick Scorpion in the face!_

_"Bugs just bought himself some much needed time to regroup and get himself in a better position to take over this match. . ." Frylock said, as Bugs made it to the bottom rope and took a couple breaths before pulling himself up to at least one knee. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Scorpion lifted Bugs back off his feet!_

_"OH NO. . ." foreboded Frylock, as Scorpion stepped toward the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before dropping Bugs onto the mat with a sidewalk slam!_

_"SIDEWALK SLAM CONNECTS!" Frylock called. "Whether you love him or hate him, you can't ignore the all-out power and tenaciousness of The Icon of UWE, Scorpion!"_

_Scorpion then stood up from the mat with Bugs at his feet before staring daggers at the crowd. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and doing Hotsuma's cutthroat taunt!_

_"Shades of the Knighthood Leader, Hotsuma. . .the man who stole the XCW World Heavyweight Championship." Frylock stated. "And the Icon of UWE, Scorpion, is about to throw Bugs even further away from his ultimate goal. . ."_

_With the arena full of boos from the crowd, Scorpion pulled Bugs up to his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .hooked his leg and put him in a headlock. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM BACK ONTO THE MAT WITH THE SCORPION DEATH DROP!_

_". . .AND MAY HAVE STOPPED THIS GAUNTLET MATCH DEAD IN ITS TRACKS WITH THE SCORPION DEATH DROP!" finished Frylock, as Scorpion turned onto Bugs for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999999999999999 BUGS KICKED OUT! THE CROWD EXPLODED AS SCORPION SHOT UP FROM THE COVER, SEETHING WITH RAGE WHILE THE CROWD WENT WILD!_

_"BUGS IS STILL IN IT!" Frylock screamed unintelligibly. "THIS CROWD CAN'T BELIEVE IT! SCORPION CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! BUT BUGS STILL WANTS TO FIGHT, AND STILL WANTS TO LIVE UP TO HIS PROMISE!"_

_"HE'LL GO SO FAR TO LIVE UP TO HIMSELF AS A MAN OF HIS WORD!" Shake exclaimed. "And now Scorpion is so mad, he doesn't know how to move forward!"_

_Scorpion rose up to his feet and strode around the ring pondering what to do next. . .before looking toward the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND PULLED BUGS UP BY THE EARS!_

_"Uh-oh. . .Scorpion finally made up his mind. . .and he's elected to go for the most drastic of measures!" Frylock declared, as Scorpion pulled Bugs up to the top rope, with the backs of both men facing the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE PUTTING BUGS IN A HEADLOCK!_

_"NO WAY. . ." Shake interjected, as Scorpion tied up his leg around Bugs's. . ._

_"HE'S LOOKING TO ADD A LONG FALL TO THE SCORPION DEATH DROP!" Frylock exclaimed. "HEIGHTH WILL SURELY SPELL CERTAIN DOOM FOR THE ANIMATION ICON!"_

_Scorpion then pulled Bugs off the top. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .or, he WOULD HAVE, if Bugs didn't nail him in the chest with an elbow smash!_

_"OR MAYBE NOT!" Frylock shouted. "BUGS IS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE UP THERE!"_

_Bugs continued to hit Scorpion in the chest with elbow smash after elbow smash. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE HITTING A HAYMAKER THAT SENT THE ICON OF UWE BACK DOWN TO THE MAT!_

_"BUGS IS ALL ALONE UP THERE!" Frylock called. "WILL THIS HIGH-RISK MANEUVER BE THE ONE TO PUT SCORPION DOWN?"_

_Bugs climbed up to the top rope, waiting for Scorpion to stand up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before sizing him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND LEAPING OFF THE TOP ROPE TO TAKE SCORPION DOWN WITH A DIVING SPEAR!_

_"WHAT A DIVING SPEAR FROM BUGS!" Frylock exclaimed, as Bugs rolled up from the mat, clenching his abdomen in pain while gasping for breath!_

_"Bugs knows how fresh Scorpion is right now. . ." Frylock said, ". . .he wants to put him away with more of his arsenal before going for another pin!"_

_Scorpion had rolled onto his chest and made his way up to one knee until Bugs hooked both of his arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and sent him falling to the mat with a double arm suplex! Bugs slowly but surely made his way up to his feet, catching his breath and yelling, "COME ON, DOC!", taunting for Scorpion to rise to his feet!_

_"Now it's Bugs who wants to put this matchup away. . .will it be the Animation Icon who wins this battle of icons and wins back the right to hold the XCW World Heavyweight Championship until Tai Kamiya's return?"_

_The Icon of UWE eventually made his way up to his knees. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before Bugs kicked him in the midsection. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .set his head between his legs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND RAISED ONE ARM UP, TO EXCITEMENT FROM THE CROWD!_

_"THE FANS KNOW WHAT BUGS HAS IN MIND FOR SCORPION. . ." Frylock declared, ". . .DOES BUGS HAVE THE STRENGTH LEFT TO TAKE HIM OUT. . .?"_

_Bugs then lifted Scorpion HIGH off the ground. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .SCREAMED FROM INTENSITY AS HE EXTENDED HIS ARMS, HOLDING SCORPION OUT FURTHER. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM WITH THE BUNNY BOMB!_

_"AND HE DOES! THE BUNNY BOMB CONNECTS!" Frylock exclaimed, as the crowd EXPLODED from the impact of the Bunny Bomb!_

_"BUGS IS GONNA DO IT! HE'S GONNA WIN THE GAUNTLET MATCH. . .AND LIVE UP TO HIS PROMISES TO TAI AND XCW!" Frylock screamed unintelligibly, as Bugs crawled toward Scorpion, just DRAPING his arm across Scorpion's chest for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999999999999999 SCORPION KICKED OUT!_

_"NOOOOOOOO! NO NO NO NO!" Frylock screamed, as the fans erupted into a collective scream of, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!". . ._

_. . ._

_. . .while Bugs just drug his arm off Scorpion, and struggled to make it up to one knee._

_"Bugs has put his health. . . his career. . .and even his livelihood at risk for the sake of honoring Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .he's so close to putting Scorpion away. . .but what can he do? WHAT WILL HE DO TO RESCUE THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP FROM THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS?"_

_Bugs remained knelt in the center of the ring as the crowd chanted, "YOU CAN DO IT!" before clapping five times and chanting "YOU CAN DO IT!" over and over again. He pondered and ruminated before looking up to the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND STOOD UP BEFORE CLIMBING TOWARD IT TO EXCITEMENT FROM THE CROWD!_

_"Going high-risk proved to be successful earlier with that Diving Spear. . .so Bugs is going for it all once again! WILL THIS BE IT?" Frylock yelled, as the Animation Icon made it to the top rope. . ._

_. . .and slapped his elbow ONCE. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .then TWICE. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND FOR A THIRD TIME. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE LEAPING OFF THE TOP ROPE. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND HIT THE MAT WITH THE ACME ELBOW DROP BECAUSE SCORPION ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY!_

_"NOOOOOOO! BUGS WENT FOR THE ACME ELBOW. . .BUT SCORPION. . .rolled out of the way. . ." Frylock said, as Scorpion slowly but surely pulled himself up to a standing position with the ropes while Bugs clenched his elbow in pain in a nearby corner._

_"HE CAME SO CLOSE, FRYLOCK! SOOOOO F*CKING CLOSE. . ." Shake yelled, as Bugs pulled himself up with the ropes in the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and with a second wind, charged toward Scorpion. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE FATALITY!_

_"THE FATALITY CONNECTS. . ." Frylock said, as Scorpion went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3._

_". . .and this match is OVER. . ." finished Frylock, as Scorpion rose up from the cover, staring down the fans in the first few roses while the bell rang!_

**_"The winner of this match. . .SCOOOOOOOOOOORPIOOOOOOOON!"_ **

_"This sold-out crowd is as spent as we are. . ." Frylock declared. "Bugs made it all the way to the end, fighting with the most valiant of efforts as he has since XCW's inception. . .but in the end, one miscalculation and all kinds of exhaustion kept Bugs from achieving his goal. . .and living up to his promises. . .meanwhile, Scorpion has GOT to be riding high after a hard-fought match. . .just two weeks before he and Sub-Zero have to defend their Tag Team titles against Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick!"_

_The referee raised Scorpion's arm in victory before the Icon of UWE turned toward the ramp and shouted, "GET OVER HERE!"_

_"You have to wonder a lot of things after the result of this match, Frylock. . ." Shake said. "For one, who will the Knighthood of Assassins go after next week? How does Bugs Bunny regroup and move forward after coming so close and yet so far tonight. . .and what the hell does Scorpion have in mind for the Animation Icon right now?"_

_Scorpion then glared up at the ramp. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .to see Sub-Zero, Sweet Tooth, and Solid Snake stride down the ramp. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .with Hotsuma stepping down it far behind them, with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship draped over his shoulder._

_"From the looks of his fellow Assassins making their way out here, Shake. . .they're up to nothing GOOD. . ." Frylock declared, as Solid Snake, Sub-Zero and Sweet Tooth entered the ring at different corners. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .unsheathed their respective weapons. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and each. . .took a knee. . .?_

_"What the. . .what the hell is all this?" Frylock wondered, as Hotsuma stepped around the ring before climbing onto the apron and walked over all three ropes into the center of the ring, coming to Scorpion's side._

_"The only man that has that answer for you, Frylock, is the only one standing in the ring right now. . ." Shake replied, as Scorpion unsheathed a sword of his own and took a knee by the top right corner of the ring, while Hotsuma glared toward a prone but ruminating Bugs Bunny, who remained laying in the center of the ring, almost catatonic._

_"Bugs is still alive, but you can imagine the thoughts racing through his mind right now. . .coming so close to the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, only to yet again fall just short. . ." Frylock said, as Hotsuma took a step forward. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE SUDDENLY SPRINTING AND KNOCKING BUGS OUT OF THE RING WITH THE ANSATSU KICK!_

_"GOOD GOD!" Frylock cried. "WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?"_

_"How about that, Frylock? Now Bugs ain't thinking about ANYTHING! He's out cold!" Shake attested, as the crowd ERUPTED with boos while Hotsuma turned toward the fans. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and raised the XCW World Heavyweight title belt high above his head, as the rest of the Knighthood of Assassins remained knelt in their form of a salute._

_"He may not be our REAL World Heavyweight Champion, but Hotsuma has a stranglehold on XCW's most coveted prize. . ." Frylock said, ". . .what's gonna happen next week? Will ANYONE stand up to these warriors, and stop this destruction?"_

* * *

Scorpion, Solid Snake, Sweet Tooth and Sub-Zero remained kneeling before Hotsuma, who kept the XCW World Heavyweight Championship raised high above his head until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Bugs Bunny was striding down a hallway with a focused look on his face.

"The main events may have been set for the Shockwave pay-per-view and this night's edition of Monday Night Massacre, but Bugs Bunny was PERSISTENT in his pursuit of Hotsuma. The following week on Monday Night Massacre, the Animation Icon looked everywhere backstage for Hotsuma to DEMAND that he return the XCW World Heavyweight Championship." Frylock informed. "However, little did he know that Hotsuma and Daffy Duck had OTHER ideas. . ."

* * *

_Bugs continued to stride down the hallway, shouting, "HOTSUMA! WHERE ARE YOU?" as he looked in every direction for them, until. . ._

" _. . .WELL, WELL, WELL. . ."_

_. . .DAFFY DUCK stepped into his path, to MASSIVE boos from the fans in the audience._

" _. . .looks like SOMEONE'S looking to get down to BUSINESS!" Daffy said, spitting saliva into Bugs's face with every pronunciation of 's'. . .but Bugs wasn't amused._

" _Well, you're the next best thing. . ." Bugs deadpanned, scowling._

" _Oh, you're quick tonight. . .that's an impeccable impression of your PUBLIC." Daffy quipped. "I'm not the NEXT best anymore, because I'm part of THE BEST stable in wrestling, Jack! And I've got a proposition for YA. . ."_

" _Eh, THIS'LL be good. . ." Bugs said, crossing his arms. ". . .if you guys are giving me the XCW World title back. . ."_

" _PSSSH! HELL NO!" scoffed Daffy. "But we WILL. . .if you join the KNIGHTHOOD. . ."_

_Bugs rolled his eyes. "Daffy—"_

" _If you think I'm joking, Bugs, THINK AGAIN." insisted Daffy. "The Knighthood of Assassins is DESTINED to become one of the greatest wrestling units of all time! Up there with the Avengers-nWo. . .or the Wolves. . .even the Royal Hand! We already have the Tag Team titles, the Hardcore title and the World Heavyweight title! They're a unit PERFECT for the chaps like you and me. . .not to mention after you get knighted, you get this awesome t-shirt!"  
_

_Daffy flexed his muscles up, splaying them at his sides to reveal a black t-shirt that says, "Honor Among Assassins" in the Justice League font._

" _Pretty cool, huh? It goes well with my figure!" Daffy said, to an eye-roll from Bugs._

" _Daffy. . .I don't need a t-shirt like that, and I MUCH LESS need to be in the Knighthood." Bugs replied. "Because I'd be outta place in your group. . .because I may be a stinker. . .but I ain't an Assassin. . .or a ninja. . .or a psychopathic serial killer. . .or a special ops soldier. . .and I ESPECIALLY AIN'T. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .A SELLOUT."_

_The crowd chanted, "OHHHHHH!" as Daffy narrowed his eyes at his rival and crossed his arms._

" _Fine. . .suit yourself." Daffy scoffed. "Just know that your decisions. . .have CONSEQUENCES. . .by the way, can you point me in the direction of Elmer Fudd's locker room?"_

_Bugs blinked twice. "Down the hall, but. . .why—"_

" _Thanks, buddy!" Daffy said, before sprinting away from Bugs. Raising an eyebrow, Bugs ran after him in concern._

" _Wait a minute. . .DAFFY. . .WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, DOC?" he shouted, chasing Daffy down the hallway!_

" _What the hell is Daffy doing, Shake?" Frylock wondered._

_"I have no idea, but if Bugs doesn't like it, I don't like it!" Shake declared._

_Bugs continued running down the hallway while Daffy only sprinted farther and farther away from the Animation Icon until the show transitioned to a commercial break._

" _The chase would go on into a commercial break, and once the show returned, Daffy would be the first to reach Elmer." Frylock informed. "The Knighthood Strategist would have an unwelcome gift ready for Bugs's fellow Looney Toon. . .while there was another surprise in store for the Animation Icon. . ."_

_As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Daffy was knocking on Elmer's locker room door._

" _Oooohhhhhh, Elmer. . ." Daffy sing-songed, before Elmer Fudd opened the door and stepped into the hallway._

" _Why, hewwo, Daffy!" Elmer said, "What a supwise—"_

" _BUGS SENDS HIS REGARDS!" Daffy shouted. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE TACKLING ELMER BACK INTO HIS LOCKER ROOM AND HAMMERING AWAY AT HIS FACE WITH RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS!_

" _BAH GAWD, SHAKE!" Frylock shouted. "DAFFY DUCK IS ASSAULTING HIS FELLOW LOONEY TOON, ELMER FUDD!"_

" _GOOD LORD! SOMEBODY STOP HIM!" Shake yelled, as Daffy nailed Elmer in the temple with a right hand that knocked him down to the ground! Daffy continued to assault Elmer in the ribs and chest with swift kicks. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until Bugs finally made it to Elmer's locker room!_

" _NO! DAFFY! STOP THIS, DOC! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Bugs implored, while Daffy pulled Elmer up by his jacket. . .and tossed him into a locker before turning to Bugs and saying, "Oh come on, Bugsy. . .I'm doing you a FAVOR. After all. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .it's RABBIT SEASON. . ."_

_Bugs stepped into the locker room to go after Daffy. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO BE GRABBED BY THE EARS FROM BEHIND BY HOTSUMA!_

" _Damn right it is. . ." Hotsuma growled, before pulling Bugs back into the hallway. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND GRIPPED HIS THROAT BEFORE DRIVING HIM ONTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR AND CHOKING HIM!_

" _AND THERE'S HOTSUMA! DAMMIT SHAKE, THIS IS HEINOUS!" Frylock yelled, as Daffy pulled a dazed Elmer out of the dented locker before folding up a steel chair. . ._

_. . .AND NAILING ELMER SQUARE IN THE HEAD WITH IT, WHICH KNOCKED HIM DOWN AND BUSTED HIM OPEN!_

" _Where's the security at up there? Somebody PLEASE stop this!" Shake implored, as Daffy threw the chair down onto the floor of the locker room before hooking Elmer's arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .lifting him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .turning him around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM HEAD AND FACE FIRST ONTO THE CHAIR!_

" _NOOOO! KILLSWITCH TO ELMER ONTO THE CHAIR!" Frylock yelled. "DAMMIT! DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!"_

_Daffy stood up from his finisher before looking down at a now-unconscious Elmer and spat his famous phrase. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ."YOU'RE DESPICABLE. . ."_

_. . .before stepping back into the hallway to watch Hotsuma lift Bugs HIGH off the floor and high above Hotsuma's head up by the throat. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROP HIM ONTO HIS KNEE WITH A CHOKESLAM BACKBREAKER!_

" _Need any help. . .?" Daffy deadpanned, before Hotsuma stood up and turned to his Strategist._

" _. . .no. . .I think we're through here. . ." Hotsuma said, before turning back toward a prone Bugs and said, ". . .you brought this upon yourself, old man. . .you couldn't keep up with Daffy. . . you couldn't keep up with ME. . .and you couldn't save your friend. None of this would have happened if you had joined the Knighthood. . .as slow as you are. . .you don't deserve to LOOK at this belt, let alone hold it. . .and if you don't know that now. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .you WILL at Shockwave."_

_Bugs groaned in agonizing pain as he crawled toward a nearby wall. Hotsuma turned to Daffy and began walking down a different hallway._

_"Come, Daffy. . .we must prepare for the main event." Hotsuma said, as he and Daffy left the scene._

* * *

"They're SICK. . .they're absolutely SICK. . ." Frylock said, as Bugs was left in tears from agonizing pain until the show transitioned to the a training room, where Bugs Bunny laid on a training bed with an EMT standing next to him.

"But the mind games weren't over yet, because Bugs would be transferred to a training room in the arena to be looked at by EMTs and a local doctor." Frylock informed. "Bugs was joined by the South Park Four, who had also been assaulted by Scorpion and Sub-Zero earlier in the night, and all three of those men would have more than a few unwelcome visitors before the night was through. . ."

* * *

" _All you have is slight bruising on your lower back, Bugs. . .it's safe for me to say you'll be okay for Shockwave." The EMT said, before leaving the room._

" _Thanks, Doc. . ." Bugs said, before looking back up at the fluorescent lights of the training room with a sigh._

" _Did the Knighthood fight you too, dude?" Stan wondered. "They're RELENTLESS. . ."_

" _Ain't that the truth. . ." agreed Bugs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before a LARGE shadow encompassed Bugs's body. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and it was the shadow of HOTSUMA._

" _Licking your wounds, I see. . ." said the Knighthood Leader. Bugs tensed up upon seeing Hotsuma again and started to sit up and raise a fist to attack him—_

_-only to fall back onto the bed, wincing from the sharp pain in his lower back!_

" _Smart move, Bugs. . .save your energy. . .lest you wish to be DRAINED of it. . ." Hotsuma threatened, unsheathing his Akujiki. "I can devour your soul with one swing of my sword. . .but I'd rather do it in the ring. . .slowly and methodically. Because I know what all this is REALLY about. . .you don't just want to live up to a promise. . .or bring honor to this company. . .you CRAVE a reign with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . .because you're an old man. . .in the twilight of his life. . .yearning to prove you can fight with the new blood. Little do you know, Bugs. . .that no matter how much blood you spill, no matter how many tears you cry, no matter how much you sweat. . .you will always come CLOSE to winning this title. . .but FAIL at every turn. . .and it's that failure that shows your age. . .and your weakness. . .while bringing extreme pain. . .but your pain can be relieved, old man. All will fear you. . .all will fall before you. . .the glory of holding this World Heavyweight Championship that you've always wanted shall be YOURS. . .if you do me the honor. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .of KNIGHTING you into Assassinhood."_

_The crowd booed as Bugs sneered at his adversary. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and said. . ._

_. . ._

" _. . .NO."_

_. . .and the crowd EXPLODED into more cheers!_

" _You ain't got a CLUE about what glory feels like, Doc. . ." Bugs continued. "Glory feels the best when a victory is EARNED. . .and I want to EARN the World Heavyweight Championship. . .and I'm gonna enjoy holding that title after putting you in your place at Shockwave. . .because I have fans in the locker room, in the stands and all over the world that don't see me as an old man. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but an ICON."_

_Hotsuma scowled at Bugs before taking a step backward and putting the Akujiki back into its holster._

" _Yeah! You tell 'im, Bugs!" cheered Stan._

" _You're gonna kick his ass at Shockwave!" Kyle added._

_Hotsuma turned his attention to the leaders of the South Park Four._

" _With that in mind. . .it's necessary for your followers. . .to learn about COMMON SENSE. . ." Hotsuma snarled, stepping away from Bugs. ". . .because that answer is disappointing. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .FOR THEM."_

_And that's when Hotsuma PUNCHED Stan right between the eyes repeatedly with FURIOUS right hands!_

" _HEY! WHAT THE HELL?" Frylock exclaimed, as Bugs abruptly sat up in his bed. . .and fell out of it immediately upon feeling sharp pains in his back! "HOTSUMA IS ASSAULTING THE LEADERS OF THE SOUTH PARK FOUR!"_

" _AND BUGS IS HELPLESS TO STAND UP FOR THEM!" Shake yelled. "HIS BACK IS IN TOO MUCH PAIN!"_

_Kyle slowly but surely sat up, clenching his chest in pain. . ._

_. . .UNTIL THE KNIGHTHOOD LEADER PICKED STAN UP AND CHOKE TOSSED HIM INTO KYLE, KNOCKING HIM OFF HIS TRAINING BED! Hotsuma stepped toward Stan and Kyle's writhing bodies on the floor before picking Stan up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND BREAKING HIM THROUGH THE TRAINING BED WITH A STANDING SHIRANUI!_

_"HOTSUMA IS RELENTLESS IN HIS DESTRUCTION TONIGHT!" Shake declared. "THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HEINOUS!"_

_Bugs crawled toward an opening between two training beds to see Kyle slowly struggling to push himself up to his knees. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until Hotsuma lifted Kyle up to a standing position. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE LEAPING UP AND DROPPING HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO THE FLOOR WITH THE AKUJIKI!_

" _AND NOW THE AKUJIKI!" Frylock shouted. "THEY'RE HURT ALREADY, GOD DAMMIT!"_

_Bugs screamed, "NOOOO!" in agonizing defeat before burying his face in his hands on the floor. Meanwhile, Hotsuma slowly but surely stepped toward him and said. . ._

_. . ._

" _. . .I told you before, old man. . .you brought THIS upon yourself. . ."_

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE STOMPING ONTO BUGS'S LOWER BACK, CAUSING HIM TO SCREAM IN AGONIZING PAIN!_

" _. . .and you brought SHOCKWAVE onto yourself. . ."_

_Hotsuma stepped out of the room, leaving Bugs writhing in pain on the floor._

* * *

"Where the hell does this stop?. . ." Frylock implored, as an EMT ran into the room to check on Bugs while Stan and Kyle remained knocked out cold until the show transitioned to the ring, where Hotsuma held Eddy on the ringside floor. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE THROWING HIM INTO THE STEEL STEPS WITH A FALLAWAY SLAM!

"Throughout the night, Hotsuma enacted TWO forms of punishment. . .psychological to Bugs Bunny, and physical to the South Park Four." Frylock informed. "And the physical brutality would continue in his and Daffy's 'punishment' match against D-Generation Ed. The match was complete and utter chaos to the very end, but after all the torture Hotsuma put Bugs, Elmer, Stan and Kyle through, he was due to be on the end for some much-needed VENGEANCE. . ."

* * *

_Elsewhere, Daffy slugged Ed with right hands while Hotsuma nailed Eddy with a headbutt before lifting him up. . ._

_. . .AND CROTCHING HIM ON THE BARRICADE! Eddy fell onto the floor in a crumbled heap, clenching his groin in agonizing pain!_

" _GOOD GRIEF!" Frylock cringed. "Hotsuma is just MANHANDLING THE MULTI-TIME WORLD CHAMPION, EDDY!"_

" _He doesn't look at Eddy and see Eddy, Frylock. . .he looks at Eddy and sees Tai!" Shake declared._

_Hotsuma then pulled Eddy up by all three of his hairs before sliding him into the ring under the bottom rope and looking under the apron for a weapon. Meanwhile, Daffy pulled Ed up from the announcer's table before Irish whipping him into the ring post! Ed clenched his forehead in agonizing pain until Daffy turned him around to face him and chopped him in the chest. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY TO RECEIVE A HEADBUTT RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES FROM ED!_

" _But the Monobrowed Monster won't go down that easily!" Frylock called. "The first-ever PCUW World Champion is fighting back against the misguided legend that is Daffy Duck!"_

" _He's using his head as a f*cking weapon!" Shake said. "That wasn't a smart move, especially after hitting that post!"_

_Ed reeled backward upon making the headbutt but was quick to charge forward and hit Daffy in the face with a three-punch combination before backing up and clotheslining him over the announcer's table!_

" _OH MY GOD! ED IS LIKE A HOUSE OF FIRE RIGHT NOW!" Frylock shouted, as Daffy hit the barricade behind him and landed on his shoulders in a crumbled heap!_

" _HE'S ALSO OUT OF CONTROL, FRYLOCK!" Shake added with disgust. "HE COULD HAVE KNOCKED ME OUT COLD, THE F*CKING DUMBASS!"_

_Ed slid onto the announcer's table and pulled Daffy up by his arm before slugging him with a right hand!_

" _These idiots are gonna destroy our table!" Shake said. "I dunno about you, Frylock, but I'm getting outta here!"_

" _Ed's got the crazy eyes, and crazy intentions to boot!" Frylock declared, as Shake dove into the crowd. "Will this be the turning point for him and the D-Ed Leader, Eddy?"_

_The crowd then erupted with excitement as Ed lifted Daffy onto his shoulders. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR DAFFY TO ELBOW ED IN THE TEMPLE! Ed winced in pain, clenching his head and letting Daffy drop behind him. The Knighthood Strategist then kicked Ed in the leg, bringing him down to one knee before hooking Ed's arms up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .turning him around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM THROUGH THE TABLE WITH THE KILLSWITCH!_

" _OH MY GOD! DAFFY JUST DROPPED THE MONOBROWED MONSTER RIGHT THROUGH OUR TABLE!" Frylock screamed, as Daffy and Ed laid in the remains of the announcer's table in a crumbled heap as the crowd exploded into a chant of, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" Meanwhile, in the ring, Hotsuma went for a chair shot to the face of Eddy. . ._

_. . .BUT EDDY NAILED HOTSUMA IN THE GUT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER!_

" _AND EDDY IS GIVING HOTSUMA EVERYTHING HE HAS WITH THAT HAMMER!" Frylock called, as Eddy threw the sledgehammer down to the mat before hooking Hotsuma's arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM WITH THE EDIGREE!_

" _THE EDIGREE CONNECTS!" Frylock exclaimed. "EDDY IS ABOUT TO EARN A HUGE VICTORY FOR HIMSELF AND ED!"_

_Eddy turned Hotsuma onto his back and went for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.9999999999999 HOTSUMA KICKED OUT! EDDY COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!_

" _YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Frylock shouted unintelligibly. "HOTSUMA STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE!"_

_Eddy stood up from the cover, and stepped into a corner. He turned around to see Hotsuma pull himself up to his knees. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND GAVE HIM THE D-X CROTCH CHOP!_

" _Just as Hotsuma defied Eddy. . .Eddy is defying Hotsuma!" Frylock declared. "He's not giving up! He's going for it all again, and he's doing it with another Edigree!"_

_Eddy then stepped toward Hotsuma in the center of the ring and pulled him up before kneeing him in the midsection. . ._

_. . .hooking both arms. . ._

_. . .and-did NOT hit the Edigree because Hotsuma countered it by back body dropping Eddy onto the ring apron! The D-Ed Leader pulled himself up to his feet with the ropes until Hotsuma grabbed him by all three of his hairs and pulling him forward so his feet were barely hanging on the middle rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND SO HIS HEAD WAS DIRECTLY ABOVE THE STEEL CHAIR!_

" _NO! The Knighthood Leader gained control on a goddamn counter!" Frylock exclaimed, as Hotsuma seethed with anger under his breath. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DRIVING EDDY ONTO THE CHAIR HEAD-FIRST WITH HIS ROPE-HUNG DDT! Hotsuma then stepped backward into a corner, staring down Eddy as he raised his right foot. . ._

_. . .and SLAMMED IT onto the mat once. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .TWICE. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND A THIRD TIME. . ._

" _The Knighthood Leader doesn't use this often. . .but when he does, it knocks the lights out of his opponent. . ." foreboded Frylock. ". . .Eddy has NO idea what he's in the path of right now. . ."_

_As Eddy slowly but surely pushed himself up to his knees, Hotsuma then charged out of the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .pulled his right leg back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND CLOCKED EDDY IN THE TEMPLE WITH THE ANSATSU KICK!_

" _GOOD GOD THE ANSATSU KICK!" cringed Frylock. "And bah gawd, that's gotta be over. . ."_

_The crowd cringed upon the kick's impact before Hotsuma went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _So much for punishment. . ." Shake said, as Hotsuma rose up from the cover sneering while the bell rang!_

**" _The winners of this match. . .Daffy Duck and Hotsuma. . .THE KNIGHTHOOD OF ASSASSINS!"_**

" _D-Generation Ed tried to enact the punishment that Space Ghost trusted them with, but Hotsuma and Daffy used the no-holds barred stipulation to their advantage, and came away with a HUGE victory against former World champions and multiple-time Tag Team champions. . .BUT NOW WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL ABOUT?"_

_After the referee raised his arm in victory, Hotsuma shouted something unintelligible in the direction of Daffy. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO SNATCHED THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE BELT FROM THE TIMEKEEPER!_

" _With the match effectively over, now the Knighthood of Assassins can enact THEIR form of punishment! DAMMIT, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY!" Frylock yelled, as Daffy slid the World title belt into the ring under the bottom rope and slid Ed into it right afterwards for good measure!_

" _He's using the World title belt he stole as a weapon. . .MORE PROOF THAT HE'S NOT WORTHY OF THE BELT TO BEGIN WITH!" Frylock screamed, as Ed pushed himself up to his feet, selling his head in pain. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL HOTSUMA HIT ED WITH THE AKUJIKI ONTO THE TITLE BELT!_

" _GODDAMMIT! THIS IS YET ANOTHER VICIOUS ATTACK FROM THE KNIGHTHOOD!" Frylock exclaimed in disgust, as Hotsuma pulled the World title belt out from under Ed. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED EDDY IN THE TEMPLE WITH IT AS HE WAS JUST GETTING UP TO HIS KNEES!  
_

" _On a night that's been full of sadistic assaults from the Knighthood of Assassins. . .this one might be the most inhuman. . ." Frylock declared. "Hotsuma and Daffy have been ruthless to everyone in the locker room. . .and it's carried over into the ring. What's gonna happen in less than two weeks at Shockwave when the XCW World Heavyweight Championship is actually on the line?"_

_Hotsuma raised the World Heavyweight title belt high above his head as Daffy strode around the ring, yelling at the crowd. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNAWARE THAT BUGS BUNNY WAS ON THE TOP ROPE WITH A CHAIR IN HAND!_

" _WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock shouted, as the crowd erupted with cheers! "IT'S BUGS BUNNY! BUGS BUNNY IS UP AND AT 'EM WITH A CHAIR!"_

_Bugs leapt off the top rope. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND NAILED HOTSUMA IN THE HEAD WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!_

" _BAD BACK AND ALL, THE ANIMATION ICON IS OUT HERE, AND HE'S ENACTING ALL KINDS OF VENGEANCE FOR EVERYTHING HE'S SEEN TONIGHT!" Frylock shouted, as Daffy turned around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND GOT A CHAIR SHOT TO THE FACE FROM BUGS!_

" _THIS IS FOR ELMER FUDD! FOR THE SOUTH PARK FOUR! FOR D-GENERATION ED! FOR TAI KAMIYA! FOR THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, AND EVERYTHING THE KNIGHTHOOD HAS DESTROYED IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS!" Frylock called, as Bugs strode back toward Hotsuma. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND HIT HIM IN THE CHEST WITH THE STEEL CHAIR. . ._

_. . .OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .AND OVER. . ._

_. . .UNTIL THE BACK OF THE CHAIR BUSTED OUT OF THE FRAME!_

" _BUGS BUNNY IS A HOUSE OF FIRE RIGHT NOW!" Frylock shouted, as Bugs slid out of the ring, wincing in pain on his way to grabbing a microphone from the timekeeper!_

" _The pain in Bugs's back is unbearable. . .but SOMEBODY has to stand up to the Knighthood, and Bugs has reached his BREAKING POINT!" Frylock said, as Bugs NAILED Daffy in the face with the microphone, knocking him back down to the ringside floor before speaking into it._

" _HOTSUMA. . .I'm in a HELL OF A LOT OF PAIN, DOC. . .IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. . .as are a LOT OF PEOPLE." Bugs seethed. "You've assaulted people I love. . .people I admire. . .and people I train. . .just to assert yourself as something you're NOT. But I'm out here right now. . .because I've HAD IT, DOC. I've HAD it with YOU. . .I've had it with DAFFY. . .and I've had it with your DESTRUCTION. . .your ATTITUDE. . .and your DISRESPECT to the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. I EMBODY EVERYTHING THAT IT AND THIS COMPANY REPRESENTS, AND I HAVE FOUGHT TOO HARD AND TOO LONG FOR IT TO LET YOU TARNISH ITS LEGACY ANY FURTHER! You can play your mind games, you can assault the entire locker room, you can hold the belt hostage and try to break my back. . .but I AM THE ANIMATION ICON, AND THAT BELT IS MINE NOW, AND IT WILL STAY MINE AFTER SHOCKWAVE!"_

_Hotsuma had made it up to a standing position toward the end of Bugs's intense words. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and SNATCHED the microphone from Bugs's hands._

" _Well, Bugs. . .let me enlighten you on another part of the Knighthood's code." Hotsuma said. "In every match. . .we Assassins engage in combat at our highest ability. . .by unleashing our inner animal. Through this demonstration. . .you unleashed your own. So to you, Bugs Bunny. . .I say. . .congratulations. Because to earn the World Heavyweight Championship that you were assigned to protect. . .all you had to do. . .was unleash your inner animal."_

_To an incredulous look from Bugs, Hotsuma extended his arm toward him, holding the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt! As confused as Bugs was to go through the physical and mental torment over the past couple weeks, he slowly extended his arm toward the belt. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .coming ever closer to finally holding the belt for himself. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .until Hotsuma dropped the belt, letting it fall to the mat to boos from the crowd. Bugs furrowed his brow in incensed anger toward the Knighthood Leader on his way to pick up the World Heavyweight title belt. . .until. . ._

" _. . .oh, and Bugs. . ." Hotsuma said, grabbing the attention of the Animation Icon, ". . .the THIRD rule of the Knighthood's Code. . . . . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE and AFTER our battles. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .we unleash. . .our INNER. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .HUNTER."_

_. . .AND THAT'S WHEN HOTSUMA LEAPT UP AND DROVE BUGS FACE-FIRST ONTO THE WORLD TITLE BELT WITH THE AKUJIKI!_

" _GOOD GOD!" Frylock cringed, as Hotsuma stood up while Daffy finally made it to his side, and the crowd just ERUPTED with more boos as Hotsuma stood up and received another microphone from Daffy._

" _. . .we'll let you play make-believe World Champion for now. . .but at Shockwave. . .you and Tai Kamiya will feel MORE pain than you ever have before. . .so much, that you will BEG me to be worthy. . .of HONOR. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AMONG. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ASSASSINS."_

_Hotsuma and Daffy stepped out of the ring, leaving Bugs knocked out in the center of the ring with the XCW World Heavyweight title belt just inches from his hands._

" _It's one thing to play mind games with Bugs since Silver Lining, but to assault the man, his friends and boss over a month, and steal the belt he swore to protect ONLY to return it just like THAT. . ." Frylock said, with disbelief, ". . .to borrow a phrase, the partnership of Hotsuma and Daffy. . .is absolutely DESPICABLE. Bugs may finally be able to hold the World Heavyweight title, but Hotsuma has the psychological advantage. What's gonna happen next week when a well-rested Tai Kamiya returns to Monday Night Massacre?"_

_Hotsuma and Daffy stared down the still-knocked out Bugs Bunny from the stage as Master Shake made his way back to the color commentary seat._

" _I'm back!" Shake declared, putting on his headphones. "So. . .what'd I miss. . .?"_

* * *

Bugs Bunny didn't move a muscle as the World Heavyweight title laid inches away from his hands until the show transitioned to the ring, where Hotsuma and Sweet Tooth stared down the fans from opposing turnbuckles during their entrance.

"And Tai Kamiya would indeed return to Monday Night Massacre the following week to be a guest commentator during the main event of that night's show: a tag team match between Bugs Bunny, 'Mr. Silver Lining' Tommy Vercetti, and Hotsuma and Sweet Tooth!" Frylock informed. "It was inevitable that the three men competing for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship would come to blows, but little did the Crestbearer of Courage know that there was a surprise in waiting upon his return in the form of the Animation Icon. . ."

* * *

_Hotsuma and Sweet Tooth stepped off the turnbuckles and made their way to the corner until. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .'Wayfarer' by Kavinsky played to a MASSIVE pop from the crowd as Tommy Vercetti drove a PCJ 600 motorcycle onto the stage and down the ramp!_

" _And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is 'The Harwood Butcher' and 'Mr. Silver Lining'. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"_

" _Ever since becoming Mister Silver Lining at the last pay-per-view, the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti has had a target on his back from the Knighthood of Assassins by way of the Twisted Metal Mascot himself, Sweet Tooth! The two hardcore specialists have been in a war of words which quickly evolved into a war of combat last week when they fought against each other in a match with no stipulations, in which Sweet Tooth proved himself victorious. But Tommy Vercetti appears to have been in a more aggressive mental state ever since that match, and this Sunday at Shockwave, we're about to find out which of these dangerous competitors is the better hardcore specialist when they go one-on-one in a No Holds Barred match! But tonight, they face off in a tag team match. . .will the Harwood Butcher have better luck tonight?"_

_Tommy rode his motorcycle around the ringside area and left it up against the barricade as he stepped off it, and pumped a fist in the air, saluting the crowd. . .and giving Sweet Tooth a death glare before sliding into the ring._

" _Fat chance, Frylock!" dismissed Shake. "I may hate the Knighthood as much as the next guy, but you saw Tommy throw a shit fit last week following his loss! This guy is just an infant in a Hawaiian shirt!"_

" _I can't say I agree with you, Shake. . ." insisted Tai Kamiya. "I fought Tommy in the finals of the March Majesty tournament earlier this year, and he took me to my wrestling limit. Say what you will about his character and past, but as a brawler, he's as tough as he comes! At the same time, that's also his biggest detriment: you can't win the XCW World Heavyweight Championship just by punching and using weapons. It takes real technical wrestling skill, which has gotten me back to the top of wrestling mountain, and I couldn't be more grateful to have it."_

_The Harwood Butcher then climbed up to the top rope closest to the announcer's table, and raised his Silver Lining briefcase high above his head before shouting, "WELCOME BACK, CHAMP! KEEP YOUR EYES ON ME, BECAUSE I'VE GOT MINE ON YOU!"_

" _Are you saying to us right now, LIVE, on the air, Tai, that you're not afraid to face Tommy Vercetti whenever he cashes in his Silver Lining contract?" Frylock asked, as Tai looked up at Tommy Vercetti, who was still yelling obscenities in his direction._

" _. . .I'm NOT afraid, Frylock. . ." replied Tai, ". . .because as the World Heavyweight Champion, you've got to take on all comers, and be ready for them at all times! But until he actually cashes in, all my focus is on Hotsuma—"_

_Tai was suddenly cut off, as. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ."WHAT'S UP, DOC?". . ._

_. . ._

_. . .'Buggin'' by Bugs Bunny played to a THUNDEROUS ovation from the crowd, as Bugs Bunny strode down the stage with the XCW World Heavyweight Championship draped over his shoulder, and a serious look on his face._

" _And his tag team partner. . .from Burbank, California. . .he is the Animation Icon. . .BUUUUUUUGS BUUUUUUNNY!"_

" _Usually, the Animation Icon, Bugs Bunny is one to make an entrance and celebrate with his adoring public before a match, but after the month he's had, he's a man on a mission of assertion and destruction of the Knighthood!" Frylock said. "First Hotsuma and Daffy assaulted him and Space Ghost before stealing the XCW World Heavyweight title belt, then he went through a grueling Gauntlet match where he came THIS close to winning the belt back, only to lose in heartbreaking fashion to Scorpion. Then Daffy and Hotsuma assaulted him, his fellow Looney Tune and friend Elmer Fudd, Stan Marsh, and Kyle Broflovski after he repeatedly refused to join the Knighthood, only to give him the World title belt later in the night for some bullshit excuse! Bugs has been through all kinds of physical and mental hell ever since Silver Lining, and it's all going to come to a head tonight and this Sunday at Shockwave!"_

_Bugs entered the ring and posed on a turnbuckle, raising the XCW World Heavyweight Championship high above his head, not even paying any mind to Tai Kamiya._

" _And after the hellacious beatdown he suffered, Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling had to release Elmer Fudd from his contract!" Shake added. "Needless to say, we wish him all the best in his future endeavors. . .and wish Bugs Bunny all the best in his current mental state. He's never been this angry ever since debuting in XCW. . .he's your good friend, Tai. . .how do you feel about what's happened to Bugs?"_

" _Well, Shake. . .the truth is, I wish I was there to help him." Tai replied. "This was one of those times where he needed a friend. . .his best friend turned on him and the only other friend he has was assaulted. I can't help but feel like part of this is my fault. . .but however I can make it up to him, I will. Even though we're fighting against each other this Sunday in the triple threat match, nothing's more important to me than our friendship. I hope that's as important to Bugs. . ."_

* * *

The bell rang and the match began with Tommy starting off against Sweet Tooth, who charged into the center of the ring and met in a tie-up as the show transitioned to later in the match, where Hotsuma had Tommy in a sleeper hold!

"This was yet another tag team match that not only lived up to expectations, but also had huge implications for Shockwave!" Frylock informed. "But with the Knighthood involved, there's no way it wouldn't devolve into chaos, and it delivered on THAT well beyond the end of the match. . .

* * *

_Hotsuma had Tommy in the center of the ring and applied more pressure to Tommy's head and neck! Tommy waved his arms around and tried to elbow Hotsuma, attempting to fight out of the hold but to no avail. The referee asked Tommy if he wanted to quit but he shook his head no. Tommy's body started to go limp, and Hotsuma brought Tommy down closer to the ground while keeping his grip on the hold!_

_The referee raised Tommy's arm up and dropped it, letting it fall limply to his sides. . ._

_. . .or, it WOULD have, if Tommy didn't suddenly elbow Hotsuma HARD in the mouth! Tommy continued to fight out of the hold with every elbow to the chest and face of the Knighthood Leader, who pulled Tommy back up with his grip still on his neck. Tommy kept elbowing and fighting out of the hold until he finally broke free, then slugged Hotsuma HARD in the mouth with a three-punch combination that knocked him into the corner! Tommy then Irish whipped Hotsuma into the opposing corner before charging toward him and leaping for a corner clothesline. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but Hotsuma booted Tommy right in the chin! Tommy stumbled into the center of the ring in a daze as Hotsuma stepped out of the corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and waited for Tommy to turn around. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE LEAPING UP FOR THE AKUJIKI—_

_. . ._

_-BUT TOMMY SHOVED HOTSUMA INTO THE ROPES IN FRONT OF HIM! Hotsuma bounced back toward Tommy. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A DOUBLE ARM DDT! Both men were down in the center of the ring as Tommy_ _crawled toward Bugs for a tag while Hotsuma did the same while crawling for Sweet Tooth, who was pounding his hand on the top turnbuckle in front of him!_

" _These two men have done a good job of beating the hell out of each other, and are looking toward their partners for a tag!" Frylock declared. "Will Sweet Tooth enact more destruction on behalf of the Knighthood, or will the Animation Icon unleash his more aggressive side?"_

_Tommy and Hotsuma extended their hands out. . ._

_. . .reached for their partners hands. . ._

_. . .and successfully made the tags, with Bugs getting tagged in just a second before Sweet Tooth!_

" _AND HERE COMES THE ANIMATION ICON!" Frylock called, as Bugs charged toward Sweet Tooth and hammered away at his face with swift right and left hands after shoving him into the corner! The Animation Icon then Irish whipped Sweet Tooth across the ring and knocked him down with a clothesline before spinning around to face him again and take him down once again with another clothesline!_

" _Bugs has a LOT of vitriol and frustration to let out after the events of the last few weeks. . .this is a side of Bugs that we've never seen before in XCW!" Frylock declared._

" _YEAH! GIVE IT TO 'IM, BUGS! KICK HIS ASS AND BEAT 'IM ALL THE WAY TO HELL WHERE THE MOTHERF*CKER BELONGS!" cheered Shake._

" _Get the win, Bugs. . .nothing less. . ." Tai implored, as Sweet Tooth rose up to his knees, only for Bugs to hook both of his arms. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and with all his might, take Sweet Tooth down with a double arm suplex! The Animation Icon then strode toward a corner, stalking Sweet Tooth with his hands on his arms until the Twisted Metal mascot made it up to his feet. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR BUGS TO NAIL HIM WITH THE KARATE KICK! Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.75 SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT! Bugs couldn't believe it!_

_The Animation Icon then pulled Sweet Tooth up to his feet. . ._

_. . .only to receive a headbutt right between the eyes from the Twisted Metal Mascot for his troubles! After a couple throat thrusts that sent Bugs into the corner, Sweet Tooth then Irish whipped Bugs hard across the ring. . .before knocking him down with a big boot on the bounceback! Bugs slowly but surely made it up to a standing position. . ._

_. . .only for the Twisted Metal Mascot to send him flying into a corner with a belly to belly suplex! Bugs landed on his shoulders in a crumbled heap until Sweet Tooth pulled him out of the corner by the ears. Sweet Tooth then set Bugs in front of him before twisting him onto his right shoulder. . ._

_. . .running toward his corner. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND RAMMING HIM BACK DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A PUMPHANDLE SLAM!_

" _But Sweet Tooth powers back with a thunderous pumphandle slam! Will it be enough?" Frylock wondered, as Sweet Tooth stayed on top of Bugs, raising his leg for a cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.75 BUGS KICKED OUT! Sweet Tooth punched the mat in frustration!_

" _Bugs still has signs of life. . .and more power in his arsenal! How will the Knighthood follow up?" Frylock wondered._

" _With more methodical destruction, how else?" Shake replied. "Just as they have over the past few weeks!"_

" _Sweet Tooth is brutal with his powerhouse fighting technique, but Bugs will never say die!" Tai assured. "He's got a rabbit to pull out of his hat for sure!"_

_Frylock paused, trying to process what Tai said. ". . .pun intended, I hope?"_

" _Yes, pun intended." Tai said, sweatdropping before Sweet Tooth rose to a standing position, looming over the Animation Icon. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE GRABBING HIM BY THE THROAT!_

" _. . .aaaaaaaaand reality sets in. . ." Shake said, as Sweet Tooth pulled Bugs HIGH off the mat. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .and HIGH above his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE GETTING A KICK TO THE FACE FROM THE ANIMATION ICON!_

" _NO! BUGS FOUGHT OUT OF THE CHOKESLAM!" Frylock shouted. "Bugs saved himself from a bad case of déjà vu and certain doom!"_

_The kick forced Sweet Tooth to let go of Bugs, who landed back on his feet. With a lunge, Bugs slapped the Twisted Metal Mascot with a swift knife-edged chop, to which the crowd chanted, "WOOO!" in unison. Bugs continued to hit Sweet Tooth in the chest with chop after chop until he was backed up against the ropes behind him. Bugs then Irish whipped Sweet Tooth across the ring and took him down with a jumping dropkick on the bounceback! Sweet Tooth made it up to one knee, taking a breath before standing back up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .only for Bugs to strafe around to face his back and put him in a hammerlock submission maneuver. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A FULL NELSON SLAM!_

" _NOW BUGS TAKES SWEET TOOTH DOWN WITH HIS FULL NELSON SLAM!" Frylock called. "How is the Animation Icon getting all this strength?"_

" _I don't think it's because of power. . .it's because of his DRIVE!" Shake replied. "He wants to stand up to the Knighthood to the best of his ability!"_

" _He's always been driven and resilient. . ." Tai said, ". . .will Bugs get the win here?"_

_Bugs quickly dropped on top of Sweet Tooth for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999999 HOTSUMA BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A BOOT TO BUGS'S RIBS!_

" _NOOOOOO! HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?" Frylock shouted._

" _IF IT WASN'T FOR HOTSUMA, THIS MATCH WOULD BE OVER!" Shake exclaimed._

" _Hotsuma lives and dies for Honor Among Assassins. . .it came through for Sweet Tooth here, but I have a bad feeling the Knighthood Leader has the worst of intenions. . ." Tai foreboded, as Bugs charged after Hotsuma, his eyes and face incensed with rage. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .but the Knighthood Leader climbed over all three ropes and stepped onto the ringside floor to boos from the crowd, while Bugs stared him down and shouted at him._

" _Bugs is letting Hotsuma HAVE it right now. . .I can barely make them out but it's those words and feelings that keep Bugs going throughout this match!" Frylock said._

" _Either that or his drive for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship. . ." Shake suggested, as Hotsuma stepped a bit closer to the announcer's table. . ._

" _And Hotsuma exploited that to his own advantage!" Tai declared. "He's connived and assaulted his way to his shot this Sunday, and I'll be DAMNED if I'll let him toy with Bugs or anyone else on the roster after Shockwave! BECAUSE I SAVED THE WORLD AS A DIGIDESTINED. . .AND DEFEATED A MONSTER AT ENDGAME! AS THE XCW WORLD CHAMPION, I CAN AND WILL MAKE HOTSUMA PAY!"_

_As Sweet Tooth and Bugs continued to brawl in the ring, Hotsuma remained on the ringside floor, turning around upon hearing Tai's words. . .and shouting, "I am no monster, Kamiya. . .I am a WARRIOR. . .and when you cross the likes of ME. . .you end up BROKEN. . .one way or the other. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .LIKE YOUR BELOVED ICON-"_

_-BUT THAT'S WHEN TAI RIPPED OFF HIS HEADSET AND DOVE ACROSS THE TABLE, GETTING INTO A BRAWL WITH HOTSUMA!_

" _OH MY GOD! THE CRESTBEARER OF COURAGE IS GOING AFTER HOTSUMA!" Frylock yelled. "IT IS ABSOLUTE PANDEMONIUM AT RINGSIDE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!"_

" _HOLY SH*T!" exclaimed Shake. "HOW MANY TIMES WILL THE KNIGHTHOOD BE IN A FIGHT RIGHT BY US?"_

_Tai and Hotsuma brawled in front of the announcer's table until Hotsuma nailed Tai in the face with a HARD elbow smash, causing Tai to cover his face in pain. The Knighthood Leader then grabbed Tai by the hair. . ._

_. . .before running forward. ._

_. . .AND THROWING TAI HEAD AND FACE FIRST INTO THE STEEL STEPS!_

" _BAH GAWD!" Frylock screamed. "THE LEADER OF THE KNIGHTHOOD JUST DISPOSED OF THE XCW WORLD CHAMPION!"_

" _That's HOTSUMA'S way of officially welcoming Tai back to XCW. . ." Shake deadpanned. But while THAT was going on, Bugs and Sweet Tooth were brawling in the center of the ring until the Animation Icon surprised the Twisted Metal Mascot with a tackle against the ropes! Bugs shoved Sweet Tooth across the ring on the bounceback and went for a kick to the midsection. . ._

_. . .but Sweet Tooth caught the kick and threw it forward, causing Bugs to spin around at 360 degrees! In a daze, Bugs turned to face the Twisted Metal Mascot. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO GRABBED HIM BY THE THROAT!_

" _WAIT A MINUTE! Sweet Tooth's got Bugs by the neck!" Frylock called, as Sweet Tooth lifted Bugs high above his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE CRASHING HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A CHOKESLAM!_

" _AND THERE'S THE CHOKESLAM!" Shake said. "Bugs's tear stops here. . ."_

_Sweet Tooth laid on top of Bugs and hooked the leg for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .2.99999999999999999999999999999 TOMMY BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!_

" _TOMMY MAKES THE SAVE!" Frylock shouted, as Sweet Tooth SNARLED with anger in the direction of the Harwood Butcher! "AND SWEET TOOTH DID NOT LIKE THAT ONE DAMN BIT!"_

_Sweet Tooth then SHOT up to a standing position and charged after Tommy, who kept him away from his corner with a three-punch combination! Tommy made it back onto the ring apron by his corner while Bugs slid in front of Sweet Tooth before kicking him in the midsection. . ._

_. . ._

lifting him HIGH off the ground with all his might. . .

. . .

. . .AND DROPPING HIM WITH THE BUNNY BOMB!

" _THE BUNNY BOMB CONNECTS!" Frylock cried. "WHAT STRENGTH FROM THE ANIMATION ICON!"_

" _BUGS IS ABOUT TO FINALLY ACHIEVE HIS MUCH-NEEDED VENGEANCE FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS!" Shake exclaimed._

_Bugs stared down the prone Sweet Tooth before stepping toward him in the center of the ring. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .at least, he WOULD HAVE, if TOMMY DIDN'T BLIND TAG HIMSELF IN!_

" _WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock screamed. "WHAT THE HELL IS TOMMY DOING?"_

" _HE'S EARNING THE VICTORY FOR HIMSELF, THAT'S WHAT HE'S DOING!" Shake replied, as Bugs looked on in angry confusion while Tommy dove on top of Sweet Tooth for the cover! 1. . ._

_. . ._

_2\. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .3!_

" _After losing to him fair and square last week, he wanted the pin on Sweet Tooth!" Frylock said, as Bugs looked on completely FLABBERGASTED! "And BAH GAWD, HE GOT IT!"_

_Tommy stood up from the cover, raising both fists high above his head as the bell rang!_

" _ **The winners of this match. . .the team of BUGS BUNNY. . .AND TOMMY VERCETTI!"**_

" _Well, Bugs and Tommy got the win. . .but I don't blame Bugs for being FURIOUS right now with the Harwood Butcher!" Frylock said. "Getting the pin tonight against a member of the Knighthood would've been satisfying for the Animation Icon after the hell he's been through ever since Silver Lining! But Tommy took matters into his own hands when he saw his Shockwave opponent, Sweet Tooth, down on the mat! If that's not bullshit, I don't know what is!"_

_The referee raised Bugs and Tommy's arms in victory, only for Bugs to rip his out of the referee's grasp and shouting something at Tommy!_

" _It's not like he cost them the match, Frylock!" Shake insisted. "Tommy had something at stake in this match, too; he wanted to prove that he could beat Sweet Tooth fair and square, and sure enough he did. . .at least, that's what he can TELL HIMSELF, the f*ckin' 80s reject. . .but whatever road Tommy's taking on his way to Shockwave, I think he and Bugs are headed down it! Look at them!"_

_Tommy had his arms splayed and was shaking his head, insisting that it didn't matter who got the pin, but Bugs was growing red-faced as the argument grew more and more heated!"_

" _Something's gonna explode here unless Bugs can reign himself in. . ." Frylock foreboded, as Bugs stepped ever closer to the Harwood Butcher. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO GOT A RIGHT HAND AROUND HIS THROAT FROM SWEET TOOTH!_

" _BUT SWEET TOOTH IS BACK UP! SWEET TOOTH ISN'T FINISHED WITH TOMMY!" Frylock yelled, as Hotsuma slid back into the ring and slugged Bugs into the corner with a European uppercut. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .while Sweet Tooth raised Tommy high above his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR THE HARWOOD BUTCHER TO HIT SWEET TOOTH IN THE FACE WITH A RIGHT HAND!_

" _BUT TOMMY AVOIDS CERTAIN DOOM WITH HIS ALWAYS RELIABLE FISTS!" yelled Frylock, as Sweet Tooth let go of Tommy, causing the Harwood Butcher to land feet-first on the mat. While Hotsuma was hammering away on Bugs with repeated shoulder thrusts in the corner, Tommy ran against the ropes behind him before charging back toward Sweet Tooth. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND KNOCKING HIM DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS! As the crowd EXPLODED with cheers, Tommy hammered away at Sweet Tooth with furious right and left hands. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .UNTIL SWEET TOOTH BLOCKED A PUNCH, THEN PULLED TOMMY UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE AND DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!_

" _BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Frylock cried. "BOTH OF THESE HARDCORE SPECIALISTS ARE GOING TO TOWN ON EACH OTHER!"_

_Sweet Tooth_ _made it to his feet on the ringside floor. . .only for Tommy to tackle him into the barricade before following up with a clothesline that sent the Twisted Metal Mascot falling backwards into the fans! With a scowl on his face, Tommy strode toward the timekeeper's booth. . .pulled out his Silver Lining briefcase. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND CHARGED OVER THE BARRICADE, LOOKING THROUGH THE FRONT ROW SEATS OF THE CROWD FOR SWEET TOOTH!_

" _TOMMY'S GOT A FIRE IN HIS EYES, AND IT BURNS FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF THE TWISTED METAL MASCOT!" Frylock declared, as Tommy ran toward Sweet Tooth, who had made it to a standing position. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .ONLY FOR TOMMY TO HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH HIS SILVER LINING BRIEFCASE!_

" _The Harwood Butcher is giving Sweet Tooth an up close and personal look at his new good luck charm!" Frylock declared, as Tommy shouted, "I'M ON MY WAY TO THE TOP, ASSHOLE! I GOT THIS BECAUSE I BELONG THERE!"_

_Tommy raised his Silver Lining briefcase HIGH above his head. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BUT SWEET TOOTH RETALIATED BY BOOTING IT INTO HIS FACE!_

" _BUT SWEET TOOTH FIGHTS BACK!" Frylock shouted, as Sweet Tooth pulled Tommy up from the floor as the two hardcore specialists began to trade right hands on their way through the crowd! "IT IS ABSOLUTE ANARCHY IN THE CROWD RIGHT NOW!"_

" _Good grief!" Shake cringed. "If these two men are beating each other up THIS bad tonight. . .what's gonna happen on Sunday when it's no holds barred?"_

" _And what's gonna happen in the ring?" Frylock added. "Bugs and Hotsuma are still going at it!"_

_Sure enough, Bugs and Hotsuma were trading FURIOUS right hands with each other in the center of the ring, with the Knighthood Leader eventually hitting Bugs with a throat thrust and a clothesline that sent him toppling over the ropes and down to the ringside floor! With Bugs down for the moment, Hotsuma then sneered as he stormed out of the ring and toward the timekeeper's booth. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .TO GRAB THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT!_

" _Hotsuma's taking the XCW World title belt again, Shake!" Frylock yelled. "HE'S GONNA USE IT TO ASSAULT BUGS AGAIN!"_

_Hotsuma then stepped back into the ring and saw Bugs make his way up to the ring apron. Hotsuma then made a beeline for the Animation Icon, holding the World title belt back for a strike. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .THAT IS, BEFORE BUGS KNOCKED THE TITLE INTO HIS FACE WITH A KARATE KICK!_

" _AND THE ANIMATION ICON FINALLY GETTING HIS REVENGE WITH THE KARATE KICK!" Frylock cried, as Hotsuma dropped the World title belt and stumbled around the ring in a daze. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BEFORE STEPPING INTO THE ARMS OF TAI KAMIYA!_

" _WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock shouted. "NOW TAI'S IN THE RING!"_

_Tai quickly draped Hotsuma's arm across his back. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .before lifting him up. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .AND DROPPING HIM ON HIS HEAD WITH THE BRAINBUSTER, TO A MASSIVE POP FROM THE CROWD!_

" _THERE'S THE BRAINBUSTER!" Frylock exclaimed. "TAI KAMIYA'S BEEN WAITING TO HIT THAT MOVE ON HOTSUMA FOR THE LAST MONTH!"_

" _AND IT'S A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES. . ." Shake said, as Tai scowled at Hotsuma as he rolled out of the ring while Bugs picked up the World title belt._

" _Welcome back to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling, Tai Kamiya! Time to collect your belt and defend it with honor as you have since Endgame!" Frylock said, as Tai turned to face Bugs, who stood in the center of the ring with the XCW World Heavyweight title belt draped over his shoulder. The Crestbearer of Courage then stepped toward Bugs, extending his hand and saying, "Thanks, Bugs. . .you held the title well when you had it. . .but I kinda need it back now."_

_Tai reached for the title belt. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BUT BUGS STEPPED BACKWARD, CLENCHING THE BELT AGAINST HIS SHOULDER! Tai's face fell into a look of confusion as the crowd shouted, "OHHHHHHHH!" in shock!_

" _What the. . .is Bugs okay. . .?" Shake wondered, as Tai said, "Bugs. . .please. . .it's my title," before reaching for it again. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .BUT BUGS SHOOK HIS HEAD NO BEFORE STEPPING BACKWARD AGAIN!_

" _He doesn't want to give up the World Heavyweight title!" Frylock shouted. "But. . .what's Tai going to do. . .?"_

_Tai's face turned into a look of ANGER before he sternly seethed, "BUGS. . .GIVE ME BACK MY TITLE. . .PLEASE. . ."_

_. . ._

_. . .and this time, gripped the centerpiece of his belt. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .to a 'Nothin' personal, Doc. . ." from Bugs. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . ._

_. . .WHO KNOCKED TAI IN THE FACE WITH THE WORLD TITLE BELT!_

" _HOLY SHIT!" Shake screamed, as the crowd popped with a scream of, "OHHHHHHHH!" in shock!_

" _I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Frylock exclaimed unintelligibly. "BUGS JUST HIT HIS BEST FRIEND, AND THE WORLD CHAMPION OF THIS COMPANY WITH HIS OWN BELT!"_

" _OH MY GOD!" Shake yelled. "I can't believe that just happened! Bugs is driven to win the belt for himself to the point of OBSESSION!"_

" _. . .ain't I a stinker?" Bugs asked in a serious tone to the down Tai Kamiya, as 'Buggin'' by Bugs Bunny began to play again!_

" _Bugs is a new man when he holds that belt. . .but it's at the expense of his friendship and mindset! And it's all because of the physical and mental torture he suffered at the hands of Hotsuma!" Frylock declared, as Hotsuma had made his way to the foot of the ramp, and stared down Bugs with a sadistic smirk, who had made his way up to a top turnbuckle with the World Heavyweight title belt!_

" _Hotsuma may have gotten the shit kicked out of him tonight, but that look on his face suggests he has Bugs wrapped around his little finger! It's not looking good for Bugs. . .OR the TRUE World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya!" Shake declared, as Bugs raised the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt high above his head before staring DAGGERS at Hotsuma with an angry glare._

" _Will this be the scene by the end of Shockwave this Sunday?" Frylock asked. "Will Tai Kamiya prevail in his first official match back in XCW competition? Will Hotsuma claim our most coveted prize for himself and the Knighthood of Assassins? Or will Bugs Bunny achieve his ultimate goal and finally become the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion?"_

* * *

Tai remained prone in the center of the ring as Bugs continued his staredown with Hotsuma until the show transitioned to the backstage area, where Frylock and Shake sat on barstools in front of a high-definition television set.

"Yes, it was Bugs Bunny standing tall at the end of the last Monday Night Massacre, but at what price?" Frylock asked. "Hotsuma used psychological warfare and mind games to warp him into a dangerous mindset, and he's beaten the Animation Icon twice before in in-ring competition. . .however, does he know the monster that he's created?"

"And does Tai even know where he is right now?" Shake added. "His first show back, and his best friend hits him in the head with his own title belt instead of giving it back! Who knows where HIS head's at. . ."

"Tai promised earlier that night that Hotsuma would pay for what he did on Sunday, when he faced the man who saved the world many times before as a DigiDestined. . .and defeated a monster at XCW Endgame." Frylock responded. "I have faith he will keep that promise. . .but it's going to be an absolute WAR between those three men at Shockwave for the World Heavyweight title. However, it's just one of a record EIGHT matches on tap for Sunday night in Vinewood! Let's run through them all!"

"Let's do it!" Shake said, as a graphic of Double D and Joffrey Baratheon on opposite sides of an electric blue textured screen!

"On the first-ever XCW Kickoff Show, 'The Sockhead' Double D will square off against 'The First of His Character' Joffrey Baratheon!" Frylock informed.

"The Ruler of the Iron Throne has been on a tear ever since arriving at Silver Lining, but will Double D stop his 'reign of terror' before it starts, or will he be Joffrey's first victim on his eradication of animation?" Shake asked.

"Then on the main show, Rolf takes on Solid Snake in a rematch for the XCW Hardcore Championship!" Frylock said.

"The Son of a Shepherd longs to bring legacy and honor to his family as well as the XCW Hardcore Championship. . .but will Solid Snake stop him in his tracks again, or will the Hat of Discipline finally come crashing down on the Metal Gear Mascot?" Shake wondered.

"'Mr. Silver Lining' Tommy Vercetti fights Sweet Tooth in a No Holds Barred match!" Frylock added.

"It's Hardcore Specialist against Hardcore Specialist. . .Tommy Vercetti wants to prove the Twisted Metal Mascot is a sell-out, but Sweet Tooth wants to expose Tommy for the fraud he is!" Shake informed. "Will the Harwood Butcher get a lethal dose of reality, or will he be standing tall at the end of this sure-to-be brutal match?"

"Then we have Arthur Read defending his XCW World Television Championship against the returning Samurai Jack!" Frylock stated.

"Arthur's got Smokey The Bear in his corner and smarts on his side. . .while Samurai Jack only has one victory to his name in XCW!" Shake notified. "Will The Samurai Warrior get lucky, or will the Revolution be televised?"

"Scorpion and Sub-Zero of the Knighthood of Assassins put the XCW Tag Team titles on the line against Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick!" Frylock affirmed.

"The South Park Four get their rematch with an extreme substitution in their favor!" Shake said. "Will Kenny's high-flying ability help him and Cartman regain the Tag Team Championship for the South Park Four, or will the Knighthood of Assassins reign supreme?"

"Sora Takenouchi defends the XCW Women's Championship against Yuna and Casey Lynch in a Triple Threat match!" Frylock added.

"They've talked amongst themselves, they've sang songs, they've even RAPPED, now it's about time they fought!" Shake snapped. "Will Yuna get lucky, will Sora continue her legacy, or will Casey Lynch be singing in the streets?"

"D-Generation Ed. . .Mario and Spongebob Squarepants. . .The Outcasts. . .Claude Speed and The Mask. . .Twisted Villainy. . .Ren and Stimpy. . .the Bohan Badasses and the Wild Dudes. . .eight teams to come out in random order after each pinfall or submission in a Tag Team Turmoil match with the number one contendership to the XCW Tag Team Championship at stake!" Frylock announced.

"The tag team division has become loaded with unpredictability and chaos in recent weeks. . ." Shake said, ". . .I don't know who's gonna win this match, but I know it's gonna be an all-out WAR!"

"And in our main event. . ." Frylock concluded, ". . .Tai Kamiya puts the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship on the line. . .but also hopes to get it back against Bugs Bunny and Hotsuma!"

"Tai is the rightful owner of XCW's most coveted prize. . ." Shake affirmed, ". . .but will Hotsuma take advantage of Bugs's psyche and claim the World title for the Knighthood of Assassins, will Bugs finally achieve his ultimate goal of winning the XCW World title for himself. . .or will the belt finally return around the waist of the Crestbearer of Courage?"

"It all goes down this Sunday at Shockwave live from Vinewood, and sponsored by Bubba Gump Shrimp Company!" Frylock said, as the show transitioned back to the backstage area, where Frylock and Shake sat on barstools in front of a high-definition television. "Until then, for all of us at XCW, and for Master Shake, I am Frylock, 'The Voice of XCW'! Thank you for joining us on this edition of XCW Rewind, and we'll see you at Shockwave!

Frylock and Shake stared confidently into the camera until the lights dimmed, and the show went off the air!

* * *

Monday Night Massacre August Week 1 Results:

Joffrey Baratheon explained his actions from Silver Lining  
The Knighthood of Assassins (Scorpion and Solid Snake) and D-Generation Ed (Ed and Eddy) fought to a No Contest  
Rolf defeated Solid Snake (c) to become the new XCW Hardcore Champion  
Ren and Stimpy return and announced their intentions to compete for the XCW Tag Team Championship  
Twisted Villainy (Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude) defeated The Bohan Badasses (Carl "CJ" Johnson and Niko Bellic w/Brucie)  
Tommy Vercetti defeated Kenny McCormick (was ambushed by Sweet Tooth afterward)  
The South Park Four agree to face each other next week with the winning team taking on Scorpion and Sub-Zero at Shockwave  
The Outcasts (Solomon Grundy and Bizarro w/Two-Face) defeated Ren Tillerson and Stephen O'Bannon  
Hotsuma and Daffy Duck ambushed Bugs Bunny and Space Ghost and stole the XCW World Heavyweight Championship belt

Monday Night Massacre August Week 2 Results:

Stimpy defeated Frederick von Twirlenkiller (via DQ; Mordecai interference)  
Joffrey Baratheon defeated Jonny 2x4  
Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick defeated Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski (wins right to face Scorpion and Sub-Zero at Shockwave for the XCW Tag Team titles)  
Rolf defeated Sweet Tooth in a Hardcore match  
Yuna defeated Margaret  
Arthur Read (c) defeated Luigi (retains XCW World Television Championship)  
Scorpion defeated Bugs Bunny after Bugs defeated Solid Snake and Sub-Zero in a Gauntlet match

Monday Night Massacre August Week 3 Results:

Smokey The Bear explained his actions, and Samurai Jack returned to XCW to answer Arthur's open challenge for the XCW World Television Championship  
The South Park Four (Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick) defeated The Johnny Boyz (Johnny Bravo and Jonny 2x4)  
Sora Takenouchi defeated Daisy  
Mario and Spongebob Squarepants defeated Mordecai and Rigby (enters the Tag Team Turmoil match at Shockwave)  
Sweet Tooth defeated Tommy Vercetti  
Claude Speed defeated Carl "CJ" Johnson (via DQ; Solomon Grundy and Bizarro interference)  
Joffrey Baratheon defeated Rolf  
Solid Snake defeated Rolf (c) (wins XCW Hardcore Championship)  
Hotsuma and Daffy Duck defeated D-Generation Ed (Ed and Eddy)

Monday Night Massacre August Week 4 Results:

Rolf, Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick defeated Scorpion, Sub-Zero and Solid Snake  
Samurai Jack defeated Rigby  
Joffrey Baratheon and Double D confronted each other before Shockwave  
Casey Lynch and Shenhua defeated Sora Takenouchi and Yuna  
Claude Speed, Stimpy, Eddy and Frederick von Twirlenkiller vs. Mario, Niko Bellic, Solomon Grundy and Mordecai went to a No Contest  
Bugs Bunny and Tommy Vercetti defeated Hotsuma and Sweet Tooth

* * *

Shockwave Card

Kickoff Show: Double D vs. Joffrey Baratheon  
Rolf vs. Solid Snake (c) for the XCW Hardcore Championship  
Tommy Vercetti vs. Sweet Tooth in a No Holds Barred match  
Arthur (w/Smokey The Bear)(c) vs. Samurai Jack for the XCW World Television Championship  
Scorpion and Sub-Zero (c) vs. Stan Marsh and Eric Cartman – XCW Tag Team Championship  
Sora Takenouchi(c) vs. Casey Lynch vs. Yuna in a Triple Threat match for the XCW Women's Championship  
Claude Speed and The Mask vs. Twisted Villainy (Frederick von Twirlenkiller and Jude The Dude) vs. The Outcasts (Solomon Grundy and Bizarro) vs. The Wild Dudes (Mordecai and Rigby) vs. Mario and Spongebob Squarepants vs. The Bohan Badasses (Carl "CJ" Johnson and Niko Bellic w/Brucie) vs. Ren and Stimpy vs. D-Generation Ed (Ed and Eddy) in a Tag Team Turmoil match for the Number One Contendership for the XCW Tag Team Championship  
Tai (c) vs. Bugs Bunny vs. Hotsuma in a Triple Threat match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship

* * *

***panting for breath*** **I . . .**

**. . .**

**. . .DID IT! I FINISHED IT! THE AUGUST MONTHCAP IS DONE, AND WE ARE HEADING INTO SHOCKWAVE, BAY-BAY! I'm FINALLY right where I want to be with my story, and I cannot thank you guys enough for being patient with me and hanging in there with me as I took my sweet time on this. Let's just say I'm doing a LOT of things right now in my personal life, but it's a lot of good, rest assured. My hope is to have Shockwave done before the end of the year, but we'll see where life takes me.**

**Feel free to make predictions, but when you do, I also ask for a favor. . .tell me who you think SHOULD win the Tag Team Turmoil match, and EXPLAIN WHY they should win. I ask that of you guys only because I literally have NO idea who's going to win the match, and this would help turn my gears on where to take the tag division next. Your feedback and predictions for the rest of the PPV are greatly appreciated!**

**The Shockwave kickoff show will come soon. . .but until then. . .please READ, PREDICT AND REVIEW! XD**

 


End file.
